THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
RECOVERY PROCESS
RECOVERY CENTRE
www.thorperecoverycentre.org
ADDICTIONS SEX GAMBLING Online Gaming PORNOGRAPHY SHOPPING Process addictions combined with an alcohol or drug addiction are all too common and a deadly combination.
Inside: •
“Mommy, Please Don’t Go...”
•
Suicide: One of Addiction’s Hidden Risks
•
Vulnerability a Beautiful Idea
•
Let’s Talk About Sex
•
Thorpe and Process Addictions
•
BetRegret and how to cope.
•
Thorpe Bookstore - Recovery publications for a variety of addictions from chemical depencency to process addictions. 1
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
The Difference Between Drug Addiction & Process Addiction.
In This Issue Sex. Food. Gambling. Internet.
4
Addiction is hell. No one ever enjoys having an addiction whether it’s alcohol or gambling.
Shopping. In moderation, these can be enjoyable parts of our lives. But, for those who suffer
“Mommy, please don’t go...”
from process addictions, these
Thorpe counselor Joanne W. writes about her early
actions become all-consuming,
struggles with gambling and alcohol addiction and
destroying the addicts personal care, lifestyle and overall sense
6
her road to recovery.
of happiness.
Suicide...One of Addiction’s Hidden Risks.
Process addictions combined with an alcohol or drug addiction are all too common and a deadly combination.
10
Anyone who cares about an addict has a long list of concerns, not the least of which is that they may take their life.
Let’s Talk About Sex. Recovery from sex addiction, like other process addictions, is more complex and therefore, more
12
difficult, but a simple and achievable goal.
Married to a Sex Addict. My story is about how my husband has successfully
If you would like to receive this publication on a regular basis please contact:
managed his recovery from sex addiction, but the
16
deep wounds that his addiction caused still remain.
info@thorperecoverycentre.org
Celebrating 40 Years of Miracles. Since Thorpe’s beginning as a 6 bed detox unit in
RECOVERY
Thorpe Recovery Centre P.O. Box 291 Blackfoot, Alberta T0B 0L0
the Nurse’s hostel at the old Lloydminster
22
Hospital until today, over 12,000 people have stepped through our doors searching for recovery.
www.thorperecoverycentre.org
PH: 780.875.8890 Toll Free: 1.877.875.8890
2
In Our Next Issue: Fall 2015 •
TRC - Celebrating 40 years of Recovery
•
2014 Annual Report - A Year in Review
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015 Welcome to the third edition of our
Our team has been hard at work
RECOVERY magazine!
In this issue,
pulling together articles as well as
there is much to be excited about;
writing their own to share with you.
we highlight our 40 th Anniversary
Please feel free to share RECOVERY
Celebrations as well as focus on the
with your friends, co-workers, or
topic of process addictions.
even acquaintances as we continue to break through the stigma of
A
process
addiction
refers
to
addiction.
compulsive behaviour which may or may not involve a substance
I hope that you enjoy this edition as
addiction.
This
can
include
much as I do.
compulsive
gambling,
sexual
addiction,
Mrs. Teressa Krueckl Executive Director Thorpe Recovery Centre
eating
shopping addictions.
disorders
and
Best Wishes, Teressa
40 th
Anniversary Celebration! September 17 & 19, 2015
RECOVERY CENTRE
Overcoming Addiction to Improve Lives 3
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
l ho co al s ug dr
Process Addiction & Drug Addiction What is the Difference. Process Addiction is a relatively new
and the lives of those around them.
way of describing an addiction to
the lower (normal) level of brain excitement
experienced
by
non-
an activity, or a process, that does
All
addictions,
whether
Process
not involve taking brain-affecting
or
Substance,
involve
similar
“reward” is actually received by
substances
malfunctions in the original, normal,
someone with an addiction, the
alcohol, cigarettes or hard drugs.
neuro-chemical
and
Gratification or Satisfaction Centres
The term Process Addiction covers
Gratification Systems of the brain
in the brains of addicted people are
addictions
such
such
as
as
cannabis,
Reward
addicted people.
Also, when the
over-eating,
that we are all born with. It is never a
much less “pleased” or satisfied, than
compulsive shopping, the compulsive
moral weakness or a lack of willpower
the non-addicted people.
need for sex or porn, compulsive
or because someone is basically “no
gambling or compulsive computer
good”, “weak” or “bad”.
There are 2 abnormal forces driving
game playing. Although Substance Addiction
and
Process
Addiction
describe two types of addiction, they are similar in many ways.
addicts
Cravings, Rewards and Reduced Satisfaction
The only
to
continue
with
their
addiction: •
Vastly
increased
intensity
of
•
The need for more and more of
real difference between Substance
Studies have shown that if the brain
or
Process
activity of non-addicted people is
Addiction, is that being addicted to
compared to the brains of those who
the drugs or activity to get the
a physical drug carries the additional
do have an addiction, the Reward
level of satisfaction that they
harm of the direct effects of the
Centres in the brains of addicted
crave.
drug itself.
However both types of
people are abnormally over excited
addiction cause similar harm to a
at the thought of receiving the
This overpowering and accelerating
person’s social and emotional life
desired
downward
4
Drug
Addiction
and
reward,
compared
with
mental and emotional cravings.
spiral
often
leads
to
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE depression,
shame,
humiliation,
isolation and even suicide.
Addiction is Hell No one ever enjoys having an addiction.
SUMMER 2015 harm and distress to those who care
the harmful activity. They sometimes
about them, they seem powerless to
think that Process Addictions are
control their behaviour, even when
not as difficult to control as drug
they wish they could.
addictions
because
there
is
no
addictive substance involved. While It makes little difference if it’s a
it’s true that drug addiction produces
Process
additional
Addiction
to
gambling,
physical
chemical
If you have an addiction of any sort,
shopping, eating or sex - mentally,
dependency from the drug itself, the
or you know someone who does,
psychologically and emotionally, it is
neuro-chemical and psychological
you will already know this from
no different to the compulsions that
processes in the brain that drive both
experience. Addicted people will go
drive drug and alcohol abuse. Many
types of addiction are real.
to almost any lengths to gratify their
people find it difficult to understand
specific needs.
why
And even though
they know it will cause them personal
a
person
with
a
Process
Addiction doesn’t just stop doing
Thorpe and Process Addictions At Thorpe we focus on two specific
sex addiction or gambling addiction
with the purpose of finding the causes
process
are added.
and preparing yourself to forge new
addictions:
Gambling
Addiction and Sex Addiction. As a
ways of thinking and acting when
part of our assessment process all of
Entering into a sexual or gambling
you struggle with the pull of your
our clients are screened for both of
addiction treatment program can be
addiction.
these areas. If clients are identified as
an intimidating experience. For most
having one or both of these process
people, the idea of having a sexual
If you are struggling, please call
addictions,
lectures
addiction is quite embarrassing and
our Intake office:
specifically dealing with those areas
the thought of discussing it with an
check out our website under Process
are fit into the regular substance
addiction counselor does not sound
Addictions. There is help out there...
abuse programing as well as one-on-
very enticing. It takes courage and a
you just need to ask.
one counseling dealing with either
willingness to dive into your addiction
specialized
780.875.8890 or
Don’t let whiskey make your decisions for you.
Take control of your life. We are here to help. • • • • • •
Medically Supported Detox Unit Client Assessments Residential Program (42 - 90 day programs) Specialty Outpatient Groups Refresher Program Family Program
Telephone: 780.875.8890 Toll Free: 1.877.780.875.8890 info@thorperecoverycentre.org www.thorperecoverycentre.org
RECOVERY CENTRE
Overcoming Addictions to Improve Lives
5
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
“Mommy, please don’t go. I promise I’ll be good.”
By: Joanne Wright Addictions Counselor Thorpe Recovery Centre
Joanne Wright is an addictions counselor at Thorpe Recovery Centre and lectures on chemical dependency and gambling addictions. This is her story.
It was like getting sucked into the tail of a tornado. The more I struggled the harder the grip the tornado had on me.
The tornado, just like my
gambling was squeezing the life out of me. I was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, spinning out of control with no idea where I might land. Looking back I now understand what a hold gambling addiction actually had on
friends and co-workers were often
of addiction left me with no self-
on the receiving end of piercing jabs
respect
and frustration.
part in my relationships.
My children would
and
honesty
played
no
I lost any
sometimes beg me to stay home, but
emotional connection to my spouse
I wasn’t capable of hearing them.
and my children.
I remember how
My preoccupation with gambling overpowered any love or affection I had for my family. Most days I’d wake up in the morning and say to myself “it’s going to be a better day”, but inevitably the little voice in the back of my head would sweep me back up into my tornado: gambling.
It
strikes me as funny now, but at the
“There were money problems, emotional abuse and family burnout...there was so much loss of trust, broken promises, children feeling like they had to take sides and acting out for more attention.”
me. I was afraid.
height of my addiction I was thinking about gambling and the highs and
my youngest daughter would say:
Looking back I can see so many
lows it gave morning, noon and
“Mommy please don’t go, I promise
night. I was on a vicious cycle going
I’ll be good.” My oldest two (son and
around and around. When I felt guilt
daughter) stood in silence. They felt
and shame I’d gamble even more
it too;
just to numb out. Gambling became
continued to go out to gamble time
an endless cycle of guilt and shame.
and time again. I had no motivation
I felt hopeless and helpless. The grip
to move forward in life.
behaviours that were holding me hostage. Every day my bets would increase and I began to
run out
of money quicker and quicker. became
moody
and
I
definitely
discontent. My ex-husband, children,
6
I saw it on their faces. Yet, I
All that
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
mattered was getting to the VLT’s
at the Thorpe Recovery Centre for
Love had always been with me.
and dropping in the grocery money
alcohol addiction.
Initially I wasn’t
was only the addiction blocking it.
or whatever was available that day.
aware how much my gambling and
Today I continue to work the 12 Step
In the 12 Step literature it talks about
alcohol abuse existed in concert with
Program, I have a couple of sponsors
how addiction is cunning, baffling
each other.
To boil it down to the
and I continue to attend counseling.
and powerful.
basics I was a drunk-gambler who
And, I give back each day I come to
had completely destroyed my life.
work. I am now on the other side of
This was happening
in my life. I was powerless over my gambling and my life was totally unmanageable. The
impact
detrimental. problems,
It
the desk as a counselor here at the Walking through the doors of Thorpe
Thorpe Recovery Centre. As a sober
was a humbling experience, but
gambling addict and alcoholic my
was
I knew that I needed intervention
stomach still churns and tears well up
There were money
to start the healing process and
as I think of how close I came to losing
on
my
family
and
deal with my alcohol and gambling
everything worthwhile in my life. Even
family burnout especially for my ex-
emotional
abuse
addictions. I needed to take a look
after 18 years I become emotional
husband. He had been forced into
at the underlying issues and find the
thinking about my life in full on
the role of dad and mom.
There
person I had lost to my addictions so
gambling addiction. Recently, I gave
was so much loss of trust, broken
many years ago. Treatment was not
a lecture at Thorpe on Gambling
promises, children feeling like they
easy and forced me to take a good
Disorders and was surprised by my
had to take sides and acting out for
long look at the person I had become.
emotional response.
more attention. My relationship with
I was in for a long and painful fight.
given me a second chance at life
my now ex-husband was lost.
Treatment, however, also gave me
and I take that seriously, with all of my
a chance at hope, reconciliation
heart. In the “Big Book of Alcoholics
My
children were hurting and so was I.
Recovery has
and the strength to beat my demons
Anonymous” there is a section called
It was at this lowest point that I finally
and renew the relationships which
“The Promises”.
reached my bottom.
Emotionally
Since my journey
I so callously let go during my full-
in recovery began, many of these
I was finished, I just wanted to die.
on addiction.
“Promises” have come true in my life.
A decision had to be made.
Twenty one days
Was
later when I left treatment I had not
I going to choose to life or death?
solved all my problems, but I had a
Death seemed to be the right way
renewed sense of self. Recovery had
to go until I started thinking about
become the most important aspect
my children and I couldn’t do it. That
of my life.
dark day my children came to my
my recovery my oldest daughter
mind and heart. It was then I chose
gave birth to my first grandchild;
life and made the first small step on
a beautiful little girl.
my recovery journey. It was a spiritual
especially since she was going to
experience and led me back to my
allow me to babysit my grand-baby.
Higher Power whom I choose to call
I was going to be a part of her life. If
God. Don’t get me wrong I was still
I hadn’t been in recovery I knew that
angry at God and used this anger
would have never happened. I held
to heap my problems with gambling
my little granddaughter in my arms
onto his side of the
I recall a few years into
I was excited
road, yet as
and didn’t want to put her down. I
time went by I slowly came to the
just kept holding her. Tears flooded
realization that I, Joanne, had the
my eyes that day and I wasn’t sure
biggest part to play in my gambling
why in that moment.
addiction.
tiny little baby was allowing me to
Holding that
somehow connect with my children I
started
going
to
Gamblers
when they were small.
I felt love
Anonymous here in Lloydminster and
again just as I did so many years
then eventually went to treatment
earlier with my son and daughters.
I’d like to share them with you. “If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the work serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and economic security will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which use to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.” - Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous 3rd Edition P. 83-84
7
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
Paul Wasting your life is what gambling is. I gambled on sports betting and horse racing.
I thought I knew
sports. I thought I knew the NFL. I thought I had studied the form and put the work in to pick the winners. Every now and then you win. But before you know it, you are just winning back what you lost. Not all of it, just some of it. I will never ever win back all that I’ve lost. I have had such a blessed life. Good jobs, travel, cars, wife kids. I also have four maxed out credit cards and a personal loan. No house. All together I am in debt more than $60,000. Each month I have tried to find the money to pay bills. It’s something like $2,000 per month.
Arrogance is
what it is. You think you know more than other people. You put a lot on. $2,000, $3,000. Then you show off when you win. But you lose more. Be humble. Life a simple life. Appreciate what you have. Don’t gamble.
Jack I am 29 and have been gambling since I was 18 years old. The worst thing is as you get older you have assess to more money I’ve been telling myself to quilt at least 20 times. Starting from this year alone 2014, I probably lost over $50K on sportsbets, online poker and casinos. Each day is the same result, you win some, but lose big. Two months ago I lost $6K in 30 minutes at the casino and told myself never to do this again. I remembered that feeling where your body starts shaking, hands are sweating and unable to sleep the whole night. It’s a dark feeling, but like any other addict the feeling goes away within a week and I ended up starting the whole cycle again. Yesterday I lost $9.5K in one hour all because I’ve been winning $200 - $300 here and there thinking this can be my winning streak. I always fall into the same trap where I start betting big and lose big.
8
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
Robyn Winning is the beginning of my every day gamble Lost so much money my life’s in a shamble But I still want to go as soon as I’m paid And I stopped by the club my life a charade I’ll only play low, put a limit on money But I know her it goes, and your loosing honey My account is empty and can’t get any stash So I drive to the bank to get credit card cash I return to the club, hotel, casino Can’t wait to get there, how much will I blow I can sense it, the big one is coming around Excitement is high, I continue to pound Look at that nearly got five in a row How close, just missed by the fifth golden bow Wow this machine is going so good But I play $10 dollars a hit, so it should Two years ago now, I didn’t have any debt Now I owe $100,000 grand Where did it go, and how did you spend it I can’t tell you, maybe one day I’ll end it Even though I can see all the money I’ve lost I still can’t say no, no matter what the cost The thrills, the excitement of maybe a win My heart pumps quicker, jumping out of my skin Don’t worry I’ll do, just $100 more I could walk away, go straight out the door I’m late, schools over, need to pick up my son No that’s OK, he’ll wait, $50 bucks I just won So it cost me $100 to win $50 But I’ll return next time and do so swiftly Won’t leave till the ATM says no more funds Pockets are bare, shoulders weigh tonnes I’m angry, I’m Mad Don’t talk to me Where have you been mummy Oh, just on a shopping spree
9
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
BetRegret? We all feel regret from time to time, whether it’s on the sports field or related to gambling, the key is to recognize it and use it positively. You
know
that
feeling
you
get
after you gamble more than you’d
Tips to avoid BetRegret. Gamble less than once a week. •
•
more) are 13 times more likely to
maybe
you’re
gambling
more, or for longer. •
If you’ve felt anxious, guilty or just uncomfortable after gambling, listen to it. BetRegret, Don’t let it lead you to something bigger.
10
people
who
gamble
gambling session. •
that
gambling
are
at
risk
problems reported
of with
spending
less time and money gambling following the removal of ATMs from venues.
to them.
Don’t
mix
gambling
with
heavy
drinking or drugs. that
experience
problems with gambling are four times more likely to exceed their money limit.
People
developing
less
Set money and time limits and stick
People
from
manage their money during a
frequently.
•
gamblers
assists the individual to better
their gambling when compared to
prevents
exceeding their money limits and
experience harm associated with
Maybe you’ve spent more than Or,
People who gamble weekly (or
By leaving all cards at home, this
It has been proven that the more
with gambling.
name. It’s called ‘BetRegret’.
•
•
they are to experience problems
lasts a few minutes. The feeling has a
you’d planned.
home.
a person gambles, the more likely
planned, even if that feeling only
•
Leave your credit and debit cards at
•
15 to 20 percent of people who experience problems with gambling also experience drug
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE and alcohol problems. •
The portion of the population who report signs of significant alcohol abuse increases with gambling risk status.
Gamble for fun, not because you need the money. •
SUMMER 2015
Why Abstinence? 15 reasons why choosing abstinence may work in your favour. Your behaviour is your responsibility and you have the freedom to choose.
People who experience problems gambling are less likely to play for
Here are 15 reasons you might prefer abstinence as a goal and why some experts often recommend it:
fun, instead play to relieve stress, to counter loneliness, boredom,
1.
or to win money previously lost
2.
Abstinence is simple - no counting, simple and precise decisions, good for all situations.
gambling. •
When successful, abstinence is a safe choice.
Slot machines are designed to
3.
No guaranteed safe level of drinking/using exists.
make money for venues. Every
4.
Many medical conditions contraindicate any use.
year gamblers lose billions.
5.
Many psychological or psychiatric problems are made worse by any using.
6.
The Facts About Gambling 7. 8.
on a horse race anytime day or night,
Strong external demands to abstain exist from: courts, family, employer, etc.
phones and tablets, today you can carry a casino in your pocket or bet
Some medications are ineffective in combination with alcohol or other drugs.
There are opportunities to gamble all around us. With the internet, smart
Some medications are hazardous in combination with alcohol or other drugs.
9.
A history of severe alcohol related problems and/or dependence may suggest it.
10. Numerous risk factors may exist - family history, early onset, long
wherever you are.
history, heavy use, etc. Add
an
explosion
in
gambling
advertising to the fact gambling is always available and it’s clear gambling is becoming more and a
11. Abstinence can allow you to find out what it’s like and how you feel without mood altering substances. 12. Abstinence can help you learn how you have become dependent on mood altering substances. 13. Abstinence can help you break your old habits and lower your
part of our lives.
tolerance for potentially harmful substances. Experts
and
commentators
alike
are concerned this normalization of gambling will inevitably lead to more
14. A period of abstinence can help you experience a change and build confidence. 15. By abstaining, you may experience increased support from
problem gambling in our community,
concerned significant people such as your spouse, partner, children
especially
employer, etc.
among
young
people
who are less able to separate fact from fiction.
What you do is up to you. No one can decide for you or change your
What is clear is that a lack of knowledge and ready access to gambling is a recipe for disaster. Being
gamble
aware
is
about
understanding that gambling is only
drinking or other drug use for you. Only you can do it. You decide whether to go on as you were or to make positive changes in your life. -- Henry Steinberger, Ph.D. www.smartrecovery.org
fun when it’s under control.
11
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
Carolyn Carolyn C. C. Ross Ross M.D., M.D., M.P.H. M.P.H. Real Real Healing, Healing, 2014 2014
Anyone who cares about an addict has a long list of concerns, not the least of which is that addiction may take their loved one’s life. Mostly we fear getting word of a serious accident or injury or perhaps a drug overdose.
What few think
about, or actively work to prevent is suicide. And while suicide is a wellknown risk for those suffering with mental health
problems, it also
requires attention in the assessment and treatment of addiction. An estimated 1 million people died by suicide in 2000; over 100,000 of those who died were adolescents (World Health Organization, 2009). If current trends continue, over 1.5 million are expected to die by suicide in the year 2020 (Bertolte & Fleischmann, 2002). For every person who dies by suicide, many more make an attempt.
12
Depression and other mood disorders
explanations.
are the number-one risk factor for
of drugs or alcohol, people may
suicide, but alcohol and drug abuse
lose inhibitions and take risks they
-- even without depression -- are a
ordinarily would not.
close second. In fact, research has
many people abuse drugs or alcohol
shown that the strongest predictor
in an attempt to relieve the symptoms
of
a
of depression, anxiety or other mental
suicide
is
alcoholism,
not
Under the influence
Additionally,
People with
health conditions. The rate of major
substance use disorders are about 6
depression is two to four times higher
times more likely to commit suicide
among addicts than the general
than the general population.
population.
Substance abuse not only increases
Suicide is devastating. Not only for
the likelihood that a person will take
those who suffer, are injured and die
their own life, but it is also used as
from it, but also for their family, friends
a means for committing suicide.
and others. The total devastation of
Roughly one in three people who die
suicide is perhaps best summarized
from suicide are under the influence
by a quote from Kay Redfield Jamison
psychiatric diagnosis.
of drugs, typically opiates such as oxycodone and heroin or alcohol.
“
Poisoning is the third-leading method
the mental suffering leading up to it is
used in suicide deaths and drugs
usually prolonged, intense and emotional.
make up 75% of suicide deaths due
There
to poisoning.
ease the acute pain and death no
Suicide is a particularly awful way to die:
is no morphine equivalent
uncommonly is violent and grisly.
to The
When Hope Runs Out
suffering of the suicidal is private and
Why is suicide the tragic fate of
inexpressible, leaving family members,
so
with
friends and colleagues to deal with an
addiction? There are a few possible
almost unfathomable kind of loss, as well
many
people
struggling
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
as guilt. Suicide carries in its aftermath a
prevent suicide, but only if they know
Training Program, Philip Rodgers, Ph.D.,
level of confusion and devastation that
what to look for and how to create
April 2010.
is, for the most part, beyond description
an
(Jamison, 1999, p. 24).”1
plan.
effective
suicide
prevention
Unfortunately, few General
2
In April, 2015 Thorpe Recovery Centre
Practitioners have been trained to do
held a two day “Applied Suicide
Although drugs may seem to help
this. As a result, many shy away from
Intervention Skills Training” seminar which
in the short term, they exacerbate
asking about and addressing suicidal
was attended by 14 staff members.
problems
over
When
ideation even when the patient is
Presented by the Centre for Suicide
drugs,
struggling or has in the past struggled
Prevention, the training gave basic first
people may feel overwhelmed by
with addiction, depression or other
response skills on how to speak with
the return of painful emotions that
mental disorders.
an individual to help determine if they
attempting
to
time. stop
using
they had been medicating with
are thinking of suicide, do they have a
drugs. Transitions, such as entering or
Someone has to ask the difficult
suicide plan already in place and what
leaving treatment, relapse, divorce
questions about whether the patient
actions can be done to ensure their
or other major life changes, can be
has ever considered or attempted
safety until they can be handed over to
especially vulnerable times.
suicide and whether they currently
a medical professional.
think about or intend to commit Abusing drugs, especially depressants
suicide.
such as alcohol or sedatives, can
patient know they are not alone, that
also trigger symptoms of depression,
they are cared for and that hope
increasing the risk of suicide. As the
remains, and then collaborate with
consequences of addiction pile up,
them and their loved ones to create
from legal problems and damaged
a recovery plan that first ensures
Suicide
relationships to financial ruin and job
their safety and then addresses the
•
loss, individuals may lose all hope
Someone needs to let the
Canadian Statistics
underlying issues.
average of more than 10
that things can get better. For some, it starts to seem like there are only
We know the very serious threats
two paths to relief:
facing patients with addictions and
spiraling back
into drug use or death.
Nearly 4,000 Canadians die by suicide each year - an
mental health disorders.
We also
suicides a day. •
More than 75% of suicides
know that integrated dual diagnosis
involve men but women
Prevention Begins with Treatment
treatment for both substance abuse
attempt suicide 3 to 4 times
and
more often.
Scientific studies have explored the
disorders by a multidisciplinary team
close link between addiction and
of professionals can help people
suicide. So why is the risk of suicide so
recover and prevent suicide.
co-occurring
mental
health •
Suicide accounts for approximately 12% of deaths among youth age 10 to 14
often overlooked? We worry about the addicts in our
and 23% of deaths among
Although the suicide rate among
lives for good reason. They are at high
youth age 15 to 23.
patients with untreated substance use
risk of death by a number of causes
disorders is reported as high as 45%,
including
disease,
accident
and
•
First Nations youth die by
only 11% of addicts get treatment.
suicide. Suicide prevention requires
suicide about 5 to 6 times
Stigma plays a role in keeping people
a multifaceted approach, but it all
more often than non-
from getting help, and lack of training
hinges on the person reaching out for
aboriginal youth, suicide rates
in suicide prevention contributes to
help and effective treatment being
for Inuit youth are among
the people once people do seek
available when they take that brave
the highest in the world, at 11
treatment.
step.
times the national average.
Primary positioned
2
care to
physicians help
identify
are and
1
Suicide is a Wick Problem. ASIST, Review
of the Applied Suicide Intervention Skills
camh, Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, 2015.
13
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Help for the Family Sex Addiction Relationships Daily Readings Aging & Addiction Co-dependency
AA & NA Material Hazelden Resources Gambling Addiction Concurrent Disorders
Thorpe Recovery Centre
Bookstore The Thorpe Recovery Centre book store is stocked with publications especially for the recovery community. Whether you’re interested in books about addiction recovery, practicing the 12 Steps, breaking free from codependency, developing resilience to life’s challenges or help for families coping with addiction, Thorpe has just what you need.
B R By: Robert b t JJ. M Meyers, Ph Ph.D. D & Brenda L. Wolfe, Ph.D. Getting Your Loved One Sober Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading and Threatening. ng.
By: Earnie Larsen with Carol Larsen Hegarty Now That You’re Sober Week by Week Guidance from Your Recov Recovery Coach.
Hazelden Meditations Answers In The Heart Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction.
By Gayle Rosellini & Mark Worden Of Course You’re Angry A Guide to Dealing with the Emotions of Substance Abuse.
By Melody Beattie The Grief Club The Secret to Getting Through All Kinds of Change. New York Times Best-Selling Author of Codependent No More
RECOVERY CENTRE Bookstore Hours: Monday - Friday 8:30 am - 12:00 pm & 1:00 pm - 3:30 pm For information on supply and titles please call: 780.875.8890 or info@thorperecoverycentre.org
14
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
Vulnerability: A Beautiful Idea My parents didn’t teach me vulnerability. Honestly, in
sometimes angers me when the people close to me
their alcoholic, co-dependent marriage, I never saw
choose another way.
an once of vulnerability between them. I witnessed nothing more than “ism” of their disease expressed in
What gets in the way of my vulnerability may be summed
an extremely passionate way. Their marriage ended
up in one tiny, but necessary, little word - ego. My ego
and off they went into other dysfunctional relationships.
often presents itself in defensive behaviour, justification or a simple shrug of the shoulder that implies, “O well,
The practice of vulnerability was introduced to me
get over it. It is what it is.” Such behaviour does not allow
through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and has
for deep, authentic relationships. For me, the only way
helped me find the real meaning of life -- relationships
to get vulnerable is to break through my ego and to
that are deep and meaningful.
examine my own behaviour. In recovery, I was taught
It is my belief that
that it is never about the other person, it is always about me. This does not diminish another’s responsibility for their actions, but helps me stay focused on my own behaviour. This simple task is not easy. I constantly return to the ping-pong game in my head. If only they; why don’t they; when will they; it’s my fault; I could’ve done this instead of that; why didn’t they; etc. Sometimes it takes me only minutes to get to the final round of this game; other times it takes me several days. What I invariably realize is that the longer it takes me to reach it, the longer I suffer. I jeopardize my sanity, my peace and my ability to move on and detach myself from the problem. I experience freedom only when I choose to stay vulnerable and accountable for myself. The paywithout Vulnerability, meaningful relationships cease
off is well worth the effort.
to exist. Scratch that. They exist, but something vital is missing.
I want deep and meaningful relationships filled with authentic love - a love that is deepened through
Alcoholics and addicts crave connection. They crave
personal vulnerability.
an environment where they feel safe being who they
of myself which either separates me from you or God
are. In previous lives, most of them tried to find this in
or - here’s the gift - bring me closer to you and God.
a bottle, a pill, a needle, a “something”, as they isolate
The depth of personal relationships I find in my 12 Step
themselves behind walls and doors.
program keeps me coming back and keeps me on my
I want to discover the facets
path of spiritual discovery. In recovery I have safety surrounded by like-minded individuals - in meetings, during fellowship, after
So, be vulnerable. Share those insecurities that make
meetings, running into a friend at a coffee shop or in
you human. Get closer to yourself and those you love;
that sweet time spent with my sponsor wading through
watch your life change in wonderful ways. I dare you!
a vast pool of rigorous honesty, her life preserver holding me steady.
I have pondered the ability to
By Jennifer Sobel (In Recovery Web Magazine) 2014
express vulnerability - what holds me back, what I put in front of it and how I respond to it. It saddens and
15
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
Let’s Talk About
Sex By Todd MacIntyre, MSW, CSAT Program Supervision Thorpe Recovery Centre
16
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
As hip hop artists “Salt n Peppa”
Addiction is indicated by the presence
contribute
observed in their song Let’s
of three phenomenons interacting
that includes intimacy and sexual
together -- Loss of control (inability
expression
to
This work should be done with others
Talk About Sex, popular culture
stop
one’s
self
consistently);
to
a
without
and our society in general is rife
Preoccupation/Obsessions (inability
helping
with sexualized content, but
to
group if possible).
meaningful
dialogue
about
the impact of unhealthy sexual expression is uncommon. Let’s forge into uncomfortable territory and talk about it...
control
intrusive
thoughts);
healthy
(therapist,
lifestyle
powerlessness. sponsor
and
There are a few
behaviour
despite
12 Step fellowships related to sex
adverse consequences.
For some
addiction. The difference between
people
occur
Continued
in
them is primarily philosophical and
connection to stimulus related to
related to developing what “sexual
sex, love, or romance and they result
sobriety” means.
is some form of sex addiction which
there is a Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
erodes their lives and leaves them
group that has been established for
depleted and isolated.
over two years, as well as a recently
phenomenons
In Lloydminster
established Sex and Love Addicts Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction, Love Addiction,
Relationship
Is there Recovery?
Anonymous (SLAA) group especially for women. 12 Step groups are seen
Addiction,
Behaviour
Disorder...
Recovery from sex addiction, like
What does it all mean?
Is it real?
other process addictions, is more
Hypersexual
as leaders in support groups where addicts help one another to recover.
complex and therefore more difficult,
What’s the deal?
but a simple and achievable goal.
What is Thorpe’s Approach?
No matter what name or label is
They can eliminate or greatly limit
attached, the impact on people’s
their exposure to their drug of choice
Thorpe
lives is very real. The different labels
which greatly enhances their chances
particular approach to treating sex
serve to indicate how addiction is
in recovery.
Humans are sexual
addiction (certified sex addiction
manifested in people’s lives, but
beings for our whole lives. We cannot
therapist (CSAT) - developed by IITAP
the common ground they share is a
remove that aspect of ourselves.
- International Institute of Trauma and
place of darkness and despair filled
For people with sexually related
Addiction Professionals). In the past
with secrets, guilt and profound sense
addiction they need to discover how
four years we have provided both
of shame and remorse.
to have healthy, meaningful sexual
residential and outpatient services
expression that does not lead to
to clients who identify as sex addicts
The recent update of Diagnostic and
powerlessness and unmanageably.
and their partners.
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
Essentially they need to learn how to
weekly outpatient therapy groups for
(DSM-5
health
live right beside their “drive” without
men and woman as well as individual
professionals) has not included any
using it. This helps to understand why
therapy.
of
relapse rates are higher for process
the
used
by
mental
aforementioned
disorders.
However that does not reflect that
has
staff
trained
in
a
We have had
We have had 3-4 day intensives that
addictions.
have been aimed at helping people
they do not exist; it reflects that there process
for
sex
addicts
in early recovery to gain a solid
is a lack of a body or board and long
The
term research to support its inclusions.
establishing recovery for themselves
foundation to build on.
There is much controversy over the
involves
examining
decision among professionals.
identify
thought,
Finally we
to
have had a residential group whose
and
members focused on sex addiction
is noteworthy that it took over sixty
behaviours that result in a loss of
in addition to our core program.
years
control.
Thorpe offers sex addiction services
for
PTSD
(Post
It
Traumatic
their
past
feelings
From there they create
Stress Disorder) to be included in
a
the DSM --In time sexually related
specific things that will be abstained
recovery
plan
that
identifies
addictions will be recognized by
from; situations that are risky, but
the A.P.A. (American Psychological
unavoidable and plans to mitigate
Association).
these risks; specific things that will
as clients present, so availability of services varies according to need.
17
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
A Story of Recovery
“Like an alcoholic unable to stop drinking, sexual addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behaviour. Family breakups, financial disaster, loss of jobs and risk to life are the painful themes of their stories.” - Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D.
I recognized my addiction to marijuana about 10 months before I sought help for my sexual issues. I was clean from drugs, but hadn’t changed anything else in my life.
That
was when my wife and kids moved out. I was devastated. I began to use drugs again to cope and found myself using online pornography more than ever. I had even progressed to having on-line sexual relationships with other women. I was still trying (in my dishonest/dysfunctional way) to re-establish a relationship with my wife when every email conversation that I had been having somehow linked to my wife’s account and she got everything all at once. She called me at work to confront me. At that point, I knew that there was no lie I could tell to repair things between us. I saw for the first time, how totally unmanageable my life had become due to my sexual addiction. I left work, went to her place and asked her if she could take me to the local treatment centre. I went to the treatment centre and met with a counselor. He told me of the men’s group that met weekly for 2 hours to deal with their sexual addictions and recommend that I attend. He also facilitated my acceptance into the treatment center for a 42 day period. At first I was terrified of admitting my actions and behaviours to a group of strangers, but I had no other option. Things had gotten so bleak that it was either honestly seek help or die. The group was welcoming and understanding. I discovered that I wasn’t a monster and that I could change my thinking patterns if I was willing to become totally honest and do the work that was presented to me.
12 Step Contact Information: Lloydminster Groups After treatment, a friend from the group started an SA meeting Sexaholics Anonymous:
and I attended that regularly. I also attend a mens outpatient
salloydminster@gmail.com
support group on a weekly basis. I am in contact with others
Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous:
recovering from sexual addiction on a regular basis. My wife
womenrecover.slaa@gmail.com
and I have reconciled and our relationship is stronger than I every could have hoped for. I am proud to say that in October,
Other Resources:
I will have been sober from my sexual compulsion and drug
sexhelp.com
addiction for 3 years! And that never would have been possible
sa.org
had there not been the resources that I was able to access.
saa-recovery.org slaafws.org
18
- Mark J., SAA, Recovery Group, Toronto ON, 2013
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
Web of Buys Addicted to Online Shopping Ever since the Internet was created 20 years ago, both it and our lives have continued to morph and change at an increasingly fast pace. Any new invention - such as the TV - can either be friend or foe. For many, the Internet is like crack cocaine: cheap, easy and incredibly addictive! Think about it. Because most of us use the Internet regularly, we can’t live without it. And many of us get sucked into behaviours that, previously, took at least a little more effort to engage in. We have Internet gambling, video and other games, pornography and hook-ups, news and other info, access to drugs and alcohol and of course shopping. 2013 was the first
How do you know if you are
year where on-line sales surpassed in-store sales.
addicted to shopping - whether at stores, on TV or through the Internet?
Just like Gambling and Sex, Over-shopping is
Well, it’s just like any other addiction.
considered a Process addiction.
You could be in denial of course, but ask yourself these questions: Do others think it’s a problem for me? Am I falling behind on paying my bills due to my shopping? Do I
or gambling; rather, it’s more like
buy things and often don’t even
recovery from overeating - we have
gambling sites.
use them? Is my home becoming
to learn what is driving the emotional
need to un subscribe from shopping
cluttered?
Do I hide my level of
and out of control shopping and
websites that send you emails or
shopping from loved ones or lie
how to change our lifestyle and
social media messages.
about it?
Do I feel irritable or
coping skills to help us engage in
may need to cancel your credit card
agitated if I go for a while without
more balanced and appropriate
that is on file with on-line stores. Sixth,
shopping?
behaviour.
you must find other healthy activities
with
work
Is shopping interfering or
other
to fill your time.
important
Fourth, you may
Fifth, you
Seventh, you may
Is my
So then, what can you do if Internet
need to install software to prevent
shopping getting more frequent,
shopping is a problem for you? The
you from accessing certain websites.
more expensive or out of control?
first step is to admit you have a
Have I tried to stop or slow down,
problem. The second step is to ask
Most people get hooked on shopping,
but found it hard to do?
for help from loved ones and, likely,
especially
a skilled therapist.
activities or relationships?
Internet
shopping,
The third step is
when they are feeling depressed,
If you are addicted to shopping,
to not shop alone for a while -- just
low self-esteem, empty, angry or
the goal is not necessarily complete
as sex or gambling addicts must stay
unsupported. The truth is the Internet
abstinence
or
out of dangerous places (sex parlors
may be a dangerous neighborhood
spending - like with drugs, alcohol
and casinos) as well as off porn and
to hang out in. Get help...now!
from
shopping
19
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015 It has been an incredible roller-coaster. At the time, we were living in North Carolina so that he could go to graduate school; we had no friends or family or community and we had a toddler and a newborn. He confessed “everything” after I caught him trying to send a photo of his penis to some stranger via email. I look back and realize that my calm, fairly together response was, in reality, shock and trauma. It did not compute. I felt that way for a long time. At worst, I concluded that my initial reaction of calm and of, say, not throwing him out of the house and immediately filing for divorce was a sign of hope, of being able to overcome this, of my love for him, of commitment, etc. I think really, it was just absolutely shock.
Even After
RECOVERY The Wounds Remain Married to a Sex Addict.com By: JoAnne K., Ontario Canada
My husband did take responsibility and showed great willingness to recover. While, in the past 4 years, there have been some porn-related slips, there has been no more cheating, so far as I can tell. My reason for believing him is the difference in reaction he has had over the years -- he’s not defensive, doesn’t fight my accusations, is calmly open to my questions, feels I have the right to my feelings, etc. He acts like someone with nothing to hide. counseling for 4 years.
My story is about how my husband has successfully managed his recovery from Sex Addiction, but the deep wounds that his addiction caused still remain.
We have been in
We’ve had ups and downs,
but have been generally successful in recovering our marriage. Still, we recently separated for a few months because I had to face the fact that, while things are better, stable, peaceful, even good...to say the magic is gone is an understatement, at least for me. I had to face the fact that while we both shared a pain about all of this, he has the privilege of still being madly
I have been married 8 years. Four years ago, my husband admitted to sleeping with prostitutes and strippers, as well as an enormous porn and sex chat addiction, during the first four years of our marriage, including during both of my pregnancies.
in love with me, of seeing me intact and good and worthy, and I remain...broken. I needed space to just focus on me, think about alternatives etc. He moved out for a few months, we co-parented our boys (now 4 and 6), we drafted a legal separation agreement. We were able to experience and imagine what divorce and a two-home family would be like. Separation was painful, but overall okay. Everyone would be okay no matter what direction we ultimately took. I saw that I didn’t have to stay for any fear, but I did see what life would be like if we really did divorce. I saw the big picture and it was complicated, sobering.
20
We reconciled in June 2011.
At first, the relief of
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
reconciling was wonderful and I
lack of utter brokenness that I miss,
family and our professional dreams
thought that the separation was
that I know I can never regain with my
and so on, my life , as it is today, is
really the last ingredient of moving
husband and that makes me so sad.
better/easier/more supported with
past all this and being happy again.
him than without him. And, in truth,
It’s been two months and I’m back to
I do love my husband. I have gained
I see him for who he is TODAY and I
trying to wrap my head around this
a new respect for him because of
don’t want to lose that man. I don’t
marriage.
these years of hard work. But I am
want someone else to enjoy a life with
sad. I am just sad at the whole thing.
this
On one hand things are good. They
You know that feeling like, if you could
matured version of him.
really are.
do it all over again, of course you’d
And he’s a better man,
recovered/recovering,
stable,
father and spouse for all that we
marry him?
have struggled together.
The man
he’s “the One”? That you just accept
being between a rock and a hard
he is today is kind, loving, generous,
him for all he is and he accepts you
place.
sweet, intelligent, successful man.
and that is what love is? I feel like I will
sadness and moving forward with
That, despite his flaws,
Isn’t this all so sad?
But it’s like
It’s either accepting this
what is otherwise good, or going
I think I am in a place where I do believe a marriage
through the pain, complicated and
can survive. I do believe a sex addict can recover. I
home
do believe there is life, together and that two people
people, new family systems, into this
can even grow stronger, more real than before.
destruction of a divorce, a twoof
co-parenting
introducing
relationship,
(eventually)
new
increasingly complicated situation, a greater financial burden...and no less sadness.
Our home is peaceful.
And he is
never quite have that.
the father of my children, and a good father.
I don’t want that either, I don’t even want to lose him.
Our boys are happy.
Would I marry him all over again?
We don’t have to sell the house, our
Um-mm, no. No I would not. I would
Anyway, that is where I am at. And,
home remains intact. These are all
have married my ex-boyfriend if I
I don’t know what more to expect, or
good things.
knew then what I know now. Is he
how to think about all of this. I think
the love of my life, the One? Well, my
I am in a place where I do believe a
the
“the One” certainly wouldn’t have
marriage can survive. I do believe a
marriages of my friends and family
spent 4 years screwing hookers. Is my
sex addict can recover. I do believe
members and, while they are not
life better because of him?
there is life, together and that two
On
the
other
hand,
I
see
perfect and while I know that I can
people can even grow stronger,
never really know what goes on in
Well, I’d have to qualify that. Given
other marriages, there is a sort of...
reality, given our children and our
Not all pain is physical.
more real than before.
RECOVERY CENTRE
Don’t deal with your addiction alone. Let us help you. www.thorperecoverycentre.org - 780.875.8890 - info@thorperecoverycentre.org
21
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
Do You Have A Fear of Rehab Promises.com/posts November, 2014
No one, it seems, wants to go to rehab. It is a necessity for many
Not all addicts will admit it, but many of the worries, concerns, excuses and reasons for putting off rehab can be blamed on fear. Here are some of the most common fears about going to rehab and how to overcome them.
addicts and alcoholics, but not a
Being Sober
choice that is easy to make. And
You have been using drugs or alcohol to cope with
it isn’t easy to follow through with
illness. If you give them up you’ll have to face those
that choice and go. One of the
scary prospect. If you have been abusing substances
most important factors holding many people back from going to rehab is fear.
your feelings and maybe even symptoms of mental emotions and find a new way to cope. That is a very to force down feelings, you are in for a boatload of overwhelming emotions as you come clean. Get over your fear of being sober by facing it head on. Let yourself feel that fear and you are already on the path to getting comfortable with your uncomfortable emotions.
22
Remember that you will have caring
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
professionals to back you up as you take your first sober steps. You will not be left alone to fend for yourself; you will be guided to use new and healthy coping mechanisms.
Going Mobile
RECOVERY APPS By Rochelle Hildebrand - EDGEWOOD News, 2014
Failing at Sobriety Maybe
you’re
ready
--
Recovery Apps have come a long way since the introduction you’re
practically
of smart phones. Complete with bar-code scanning, voice
desperate -- to get sober and to change your life.
recognition and geo location, the newest generation of
You want to get to rehab, you want the help, but
apps are powerful and portable recovery tools. While they
you’re afraid that you’ll fail. The idea of getting
can’t replace the sanity we get from meetings, these apps
sober in rehab only to relapse on the outside and
can help us carry our recovery with us at all times. After all,
find you can’t cut it sober in the real world is a
with a copy of the Big Book on your phone, there really isn’t
frightening thought. What you should know is that
any excuse not to read it.
almost all addicts and alcoholics seeking help have relapses. Most will stumble, but that doesn’t
Inspirational Affirmations
mean failure. It just means that you have to get up
From the official app version of the Big Book to daily
and try again. Working with a support group and
meditations, there are a variety of inspirational apps to try.
a sponsor after you leave rehab is a great way to
E-AA: A Big Book Reference is pricey at $6.63, but the features
keep your sobriety in tact.
make it outstanding. With the ability to search key words in
Rejection From Loved Ones
the text, an index and the ability to bookmark pages, the money is well spent. For affirmation and meditation apps
Another common fear is rejection from friends
you only need to pick your focus: NA, AA, GA, mindfulness.
and family. You may think that your loved ones
Check out Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Afternoon Affirmations
will think less of you or not want to be around
or Just For Today. To listen to speaker tapes on the go try: AA
you. The truth is they probably already know you
Speakers to Go or AA Speaker Tapes.
have a problem.
And if they care about you,
they will support your choice to get help. Make a
Useful Tools for Recovery
commitment to go to rehab and to get sober and
Lift can help you build new habits around healthy eating,
impress upon your loved ones that you will need
exercise or even going to meetings. My Daily Journal helps
their love and support. Your true friends will not let
you work the steps and keep track of your feelings, plus all of
you down.
your entries are seachable.
Lost Identity
The ‘Best of the Best’
The fear of losing your personal identity is another reason you may be resisting the idea of going to rehab. A common misconception of rehab is that by following the rules and going along with the program, you will be abandoning yourself and turning into a mindless drone. You WILL change in rehab, but only for the better. Facing fears in any situation is difficult, but when it involves a life change it can be especially challenging.
Face your fears, talk about them
with your loved ones and be prepared to work hard and to have setbacks. You will then be ready to enter rehab and live your new, sober life.
Steps Away is free, available for both i phone and android and is built around a sophisticated meeting finder. It will locate the nearest meetings, group them around type of fellowship and subject and provides directions. The Unity app, has all of the features of Steps Away and more. You can find a meeting as well as different recovery events around the world. It has a classified section, where you can search for sober roommates and it will remind you of friends’ milestones and help you practice the steps through personal growth exercises. The app isn’t free, but $2.99 isn’t much to pay for the features you get.
23
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
We do not choose mental illness and we do not choose addiction. By Sara Berelsman, MA
stopping at every floor. Suddenly it
lightning
In Recovery Magazine, January 2015
takes off by itself; no one is pushing
colours and lights.
the buttons except the addiction.
burning and burning.
I was feeling better in many ways, so
I ran out of Ativan. I couldn’t take
I stopped taking my mood stabilizers.
alcohol. I was out of cartridges for
This often occurs in people with a
my electronic cigarette.
bipolar disorder.
more, but I didn’t have any more. It
If you think otherwise, get on your knees and thank God you have never experienced the horror of addiction, the suffering of mental illness - that you were born with a normal brain. I
didn’t
alcoholic.
was the middle of the night and I’d been up for days. I started having
because I was taking the remedy.
withdrawal symptoms. I was shaking
In order to continue to feel good, I
all over, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t lie
an
had to keep taking my prescription.
down because when I tried my legs
Addicts like me are
But when you’re manic, that doesn’t
would thrash around involuntarily.
make much sense.
My arms were flailing. I paced and
born addicts.
become
We have a genetic
medication
I wanted
anymore.
to
that
A manic brain
The thing was, I was feeling better
choose
need
I thought I didn’t
fast speed, flashes of
paced and paced around the house.
predisposition - our brains don’t signal us when enough is enough. And it’s
I started having writer’s block; so I
never enough. Never!
thought maybe by ingesting as much
Really scary stuff started happening.
caffeine and nicotine as possible, I’d
My lips were involuntarily making
Anxiety is real - very real. Depression
push myself in a nice manic mood
the puckering motion made while
is real - horribly and terribly real. I’m
and feel inspired to write.
inhaling a cigarette.
a person with everything going for
become manic, but it was not a good
pucker up and then twitch back to
me. Please me choose me. P me le eas ase e tel ttell elll l m e wh why II’d ’d dc hoose to
manic - wasn’t wasn t euphoric this tim ime. Itt im time.
norm no o rma r mal. a l I was wa ass sscared care a re ed ass h el l. I woke ell wo w oke ke normal. hell.
feel f el suicidal or choose to be bipolar. fe
was filled with agitation, restlessness
my partner telling him I didn’t feel
I It
and extreme discomfort. Thoughts at
right.
hurts
when
people
minimize
I did
They would
depression d pression and trivialize the very real de t oughts I’ve had about wanting to th thoughts
For the next 24 hours I would lie down,
k ll myself. ki kill
get up, lie down, get up, lie down and get up. When I was walking, I
A dicts crave a high. Once the high Ad Addicts
felt uncomfortable. When I was lying
i achieved, the brain automatically is
down, I felt uncomfortable.
chases the next level of high. It’s an
painfully uncomfortable for hours.
elevator
My heart was beating out of my
rising
to the top, but
I was
chest. My skin was crawling so badly;
24
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
I wanted to jump out of it. I couldn’t
through the kitchen window. She was
see my breath; I knew I was alive. On
breathe. With every breath passing
an angel - here to save me.
Friday I went to the psychiatrist and
millisecond I told myself I could live through this.
I’m back on mood stabilizers. Due to pacing around the hardwood floors and walking up and down the
This time I will stay on them.
In the midst of this withdrawal hell, I
stairs of our house nonstop for days,
When
decided I really did want to live.
my feet were raw. My body ached as
darkest, scariest part of this ordeal,
I
was
living
through
the
if I had just run a marathon; my joints
I knew I was no different than Phillip
Thursday morning came. I couldn’t
were swollen; every part of my body
Seymour Hoffman. It was hurtful to
drive my daughter to school.
was throbbing.
read the comments on Facebook
I
couldn’t function. I was outside of my
following Hoffman’s death. Addicts
body looking down at myself. I was
My mom came over and confiscated
are addicts! I completely get it. The
having a panic attack.
my electronic cigarette, which I
feeling of not wanting to feel is not
gladly handed over.
something we choose.
Part of me
I called about ten people before
wanted to lie down now, but I was
someone answered.
We do not
choose this.
It was my
still anxious. I pulled snow boots on,
daughter’s preschool teacher. I told
threw a coat on over my sweats and
Addiction is an equal opportunity
her, “Ummm...I was wondering if
took a walk.
disease. It doesn’t care how much
there is any way you could drive (my daughter) to school?
I’m having a
money you have, how well you can As I walked down the street, suddenly
sing or how many Oscars you’ve won.
panic attack, and I can’t function.“
everything
We did not choose this!
My voice cracked, “I’m gonna start
peaceful. I was still in pain, but all of a
crying.” She said it’s okay, and she
sudden I knew that everything would
Having a mental illness is a disease
would drive my daughter to school.
be OK. I heard the birds chirping in
just like cancer.
the trees, which for the first time in
experience
When she got to my house, she came
months sounded beautiful. The snow
You’d realize the difficulties of living
in; the sun was shining directly on her
was pristine and sparkling.
with abnormal brain chemistry.
seemed
perfectly
I could
it,
Should you ever you’d
understand.
Did You Know? Of the 500,000 people off work in any given week due
Statements like “Mental illness is a sign of weak
to mental health problems, there are 355,000 disability
character” suggest that it is a person’s own fault he or
cases due to mental and/or behavioral disorder, plus
she develops a mental illness. While the cause of most
approximately 175,000 full time workers absent from
mental disorders is not yet know, research shows that it
work due to mental illness.
is likely a mixture of factors.
Mental Illness is the second leading cause of disability
27% of Canadians said they would be fearful of being
and premature death in Canada.
around someone who suffers from serious mental illness.
Just 50% of Canadians would tell friends or co-workers
People with a mental health frequently experience
that they have a family member with a mental illness,
strong stigma within their own family (56%), from friends
compared to 72% who would discuss a diagnosis of
(52%), from their general practitioner (44%), from other
cancer and 68% who would talk about a family mem-
health care professionals (32%) and at work (30%).
ber having diabetes. The disease burden of mental illness is 1.5 times higher
From: Bell - Let’s Talk - Toolkit, 2014 p. 43
than all concerns put together.
25
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
12,000 People Helped Did you know that Thorpe Recovery
work on Hockey Night In Canada
Pancake Breakfast or 40th Anniversary
Centre (TRC) has helped over 12,000
and during several Olympic Winter
Celebration Luncheon, September
people
toward
and Summer Games. Tragically like
15-17, 2015 to learn more about TRC.
Well, there
many families, the Oake’s oldest
We are thrilled to showcase our
on
recovery?
their
journey
You didn’t?
is much to know about TRC.
We
son Bruce died of an accidental
successes and share the joy with the
are so excited to announce that we
overdose in 2011. It is our hope that
many that have supported us over
are celebrating 40 years of helping
by hearing the Oake’s story others will
the last 40 years. Our ability to help
people from across Canada deal
be encouraged to attack addiction
those suffering from addiction and
with the addiction. We try not to be
head on.
their families is made possible by
boastful of the magic that happens
YOU--let’s celebrate!
here, but that won’t be the case this
In addition to the Oakes those in
year!
attendance will hear more on how TRC can help those in need, of our
The Walter A. “Slim” Thorpe Recovery
programs, tour the centre and view
Centre
recovery
Society
Celebration
40th
Anniversary
Committee
is
using
inspired
work
from
our
clients.
this milestone as an opportunity to commend the hard work of our
Tickets are now available. From every
clients, dedicated staff, volunteers,
$25 ticket sold.
Board members, Society Members
donation towards TRC’s Health &
and the founders who gave TRC its
Wellness Initiative. This Initiative will
wings 40 years ago. Festivities begin
improve the quality of services at
on Tuesday, September 15, 2015 with
TRC with the potential for life-long
our 40th Annual General Meeting
results and recovery. Please visit our
to review the past fiscal year and
website to learn more or phone our
elect Directors for the Board from our
office during business hours (Monday
body of Society members. Following
to Friday, 8:00 am - 4:30 pm) to
this will be a free and informational
purchase your tickets.
$15 is a charitable
pancake breakfast at the Legacy Centre on September 17, 2015 -- this
As September approaches the 40th
is a great opportunity for medical
Anniversary Celebration Committee
professionals and the public to learn
is working hard to pull together
more about TRC, addiction and
the final touches for these great
recovery all the while enjoying a
events.
pancake breakfast before the work
seeking sponsors to support the 40th
and school day begins.
Anniversary Celebration Luncheon;
The Committee is keenly
if you or your company are interested Lastly, la pièce de résistance, the 40th
in saving lives by becoming a Hope,
Anniversary Celebration Luncheon
Courage or Serenity Sponsor, please
will round out the week of excitement
contact Sara at the Thorpe Recovery
on Saturday, September 19, 2015. We
Centre. ( Toll Free 1.877.875.8890)
are so grateful for both our guest speakers Scott and Anne Oake.
Many changes have occurred since
Scott is a Gemini Award Winning
1975, but our passion has remained
Interviewer and is best known for his
the same.
26
Come out to our AGM,
Scott Oake, Luncheon Speaker on Saturday, September 19, Thorpe Recovery Centre.
By Sara Cawsey Business Development Assistant Thorpe Recovery Centre
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
The Walter A. Thorpe Recovery Centre Society operates as the Thorpe Recovery Centre (TRC). The Centre is a non-profit, charitable organization in Blackfoot, AB. Generosity of TRC’s donors have funded the organization to provide innovative, client-centred addiction services for individuals and families through an integrated continuum of care for over 40 years. Continued Support will ensure the development of our programing and guarantee others can access the treatment they need.
Facts to Consider
Ways to Donate One Time Donations: •
• •
•
In 2013, the use of a least one of six
Click our donors button on the top menu of our website (www. thorperecoverycentre.org) or the bottom bar “Miracles happen here everyday.” for a direct link to our CanadaHelps.org donor page and make an on-line contribution. Phone in your donation with a credit card payment. Send a cheque in the mail (no cash please), to P.O. Box 291, Blackfoot, AB T0B 0L0 with your contribution enclosed, full name, contact information and return address.
illicit drugs in the past 12 months
Stop by TRC in person. Monday to Friday 8am - 4pm to make your contribution.
million) reported drinking alcohol in
(cannabis, cocaine or crack, speed, ecstasy, hallucinogens or heroin) was reported by 11% of Canadians (3.1 million)1 In 2013, 76% (representing 21.9 the past year.1
Volunteer! Use your talents to support TRC. • • • •
Client Recreation Facilitators (Sports, Art, Special Interests) Landscaping (Mowing, Exterior Maintenance, Gardening) Become a Society Member Society Members may volunteer to become a member of the Board of Directors pursuant to the Society Bylaws.
Gifts in Kind • • • • •
Art supplies Personal hygiene items Trees, shrubs and flowers Gymnasium equipment (balls, racquets, nets, weights) Recovery reading material
•
Family appropriate DVDs
Designate your donation to a specif fund. •
Client Services / Programming
•
Family Program
•
Capital Fund
•
Health & Wellness Initiative
•
General Fund (Area of Greatest Need)
In Memoriam or Celebration • •
Honour your loved one through a donation to support others in treatment. In Celebration - Sobriety Birthday, Marriage, Anniversary or any other milestone
In any given year, 1 in 5 Canadians experience a mental health or addiction problem1 Estimates suggest that hardcore drug addictions can cost easily half of a person’s income or more as addiction steadily increases. 2 Canadians drink more than 50% above the global average. 3 “82% of people surveyed think there should be more services to help people with addictions.”4
1
Statistics Canad, Client Services,
Special Surveys Division. 2
Jessica, 2014 Forbes on Line.
3
CAMH study published in the Journal of
Addiction. 4
The Dignity Project. Canada Speaks,
in your life - celebrate your achievements by helping others. Your gift will have
2012. Mental Health Addictions and the
a significant impact on an individual or family suffering the affects of addiction.
Roots of Poverty.
27
THORPE RECOVERY CENTRE
SUMMER 2015
40
Anniversary Celebration! September 17 & 19, 2015
RECOVERY CENTRE
Overcoming Addiction to Improve Lives Thorpe Recovery Centre Celebration Pancake Breakfast
Thorpe Recovery Centre 40th Anniversary Celebration Luncheon
Thursday, September 17
Saturday, September 19
Doors Open: 6:30 am - 10:30 am
Legacy Doors Open:Centre 10:15 am 5101 - 46 Street, Lloydminster
Lloydminster Legacy Centre 5101 - 46 Street, Lloydminster
FREE Pancake Breakfast
Thursday, September 17
Thorpe Recovery Centre FREE West * FREE Gymnasium, Entrance Tickets: $25.00 Doors Open: $15.00 donation to the Wellness Initiative included in ticket 6:30 am - price. (A Tax Receipt will be issued for the
Short presentation on 40 years of helping people experience a new life in sobriety.
28
$15.00 contribution.)
Guest Speakers Scott and Anne Oake
Guest Speakers: Scott and Anne Oake Gemini Award winner Scott Oake best known as a reporter for Hockey Night in Canada and most recently SportsNet, has, like so many other parents suffered a fatal loss of a child to addiction. Join us as Scott and his wife Anne share their story.