8th March 2013 - Redbrick

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8th-14th March 2013 Vol. 77. Issue 1429. www.redbrick.me

#GuildElec-

Double success for Birmingham as Hockey teams book their place in BUCS Final Sport // Page 30-32

#GuildElections13 Sexism?

Vandalism?

Negative campaigns?

Your candidates' week comes to an end.

NEWS // PAGE 4-5 Patrick McAteer on whether Monster movies have lost their edge

Tamara Silver experiences Paris

TRAVEL // PAGE 11

Jenna Clake reviews The Pillowman

FILM // PAGE 23

ARTS // PAGE 13

Daisy Follet reviews Black Mirror

Is the UK the 'Fat Man' of Europe? Millie Walker investigates

TV // PAGE 24

FOOD // PAGE 20

2 | 8th - 14th March 2013 Weather by

Compiled by

Ashley Kirk

@RedbrickNews

@AshleyKirk92

Hannah Findley @HannahDFindley

INTERNATIONAL

ECONOMY

UK sends armoured vehicles to Syria

London FTSE reaches highest level in fi ve years

The UK is to provide armoured vehicles and body armour to Syrian opposition forces.

William Hague said that their use was 'to help save lives'. It will also offer millions of pounds in 'non-lethal' equipment, such as search and rescue and communications equipment.

EUROPEAN UNION

UK to meet Germany over

EU migration SYRIA

KOREA

Syrian refugees reach one

million

South Korea promises response to North threat Following Pyongyang's threat to scrap the Korean War armistice on 11 March, South Korea has warned it will respond to any provocation from the North. Army General Kim Yong-Hyun promised 'resolute retaliations' if South Korean lives were threatened.

STORY OF THE WEEK

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez dies Venezuela is set for seven days of mourning for President Hugo Chavez, who has died after his battle his cancer. The 58-year-old served as president for 14 years, and his death has led to thousands taking to the streets of Caracas in mourning.

12 noon Saturday

BUSINESS

WEATHER

Thomas Cook to cut 2,500 UK jobs

Rainy, dull weekend

predicted for Birmingham

Thomas Cook has announced its plans to cut 2,500 British jobs and close 195 travel agencies. Thomas Cook's Europe and UK chief executive, Peter Fankhauser, insisted the company had to make sure its administrative costs were 'as low as possible'.

Both Saturday and Sunday will start foggy and damp. Light rain is expected from midday into the night, with maximum temperatures of 6 or 7°c. Overnight frosts are unlikely. Next week will see ocassional sunny spells on Monday, followed by more rain.

Redbrick Editorial Editor Raphael Sheridan

Marketing Manager Eimear Luddy

Music Editors Lily Blacksell Jonathon Milnes Josh Holder

Travel Editors Chloe Osborne Zara Sekhavati Will Spence

Deputy Editors Lexie Wilson Owen Earwicker

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Art Director Alexander Blanchard

News Editors Patrick McGhee Ashley Kirk Zahra Damji Beth Clarke

Television Editors Charlotte Goodwin Russell Webb Abigail Salter

Food Editors Izzy Gibbin Jemima Lovatt Gemma Bridge Lynette Dakin

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Photography Editors Anna Kirk Charlotte Wilson

Comment Editors Daniel Baird Elisha Owen James Dolton

Film Editors Natasha Lavender Aisha Bushby Josh Taylor

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Science & Technology Editors Sam Atkins Andrew Spencer Tom Rich

Multimedia Editors Molly Garfoot Matthew Hewson Max Powley

Arts Editors James Kinsey Rebekah McDermott Jenna Clake

Life&Style Editors Lucy Whife Megan Nisbet Megan Jones

Sport Editors Tim Pearson Felix Keith Matt Clark

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Digital Editor Chris Hutchinson

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Junior Art Directors Lauren Wheatley Akhil Kothari Anita Baumgärtner Julia Jablonska

Proofreaders Naomi Baldwin Louise Curry Hannah Dove Lucy Haffenden Emily Hickey-Mason Ashley Kirk Megan Kissane Senior Editorial Rebecca Mee Assistant Bethany Prottey Isabel Mason Amy Saul Faye Simpson Sophie Tollet Emily Trivette Editorial Assistants Elizabeth Waind George Bearman Hannah Detheridge Hannah Coates Alicea Francis Ellie Jarvis Ravina Khela Hannah Mason Ella Parsons Francesca Seabourne Ellie Smallwood Charley Ross

DEVOLUTION

UK rejects 'radical' Welsh devolution plans

Redbrick Guild of Students Edgbaston Park Road Birmingham B15 2TT 0121 251 2462 editor@redbrick.me Redbrick is printed through www.mortonsprint.com 01507 523 456 Advertising Contact Linda Langley in Guild Marketing on 0121 251 2524 Designed and typeset by Redbrick Copyright (C) Redbrick 2013 The views expressed in Redbrick do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, the Guild or the publishers. If you find an error of fact in our pages, please write to the Editor. Our policy is to correct mistakes promptly in print and to apologise where appropriate. We reserve the right to edit any article, letter or email submitted for publication.

Strike.

BUCU votes to suspend strike action

www.redbrick.me/news | 3

Jordan Venton-Rublee Writer

@little_blond

Following on from its vote in favour of an industrial action strike earlier in February, the University and College Union at the University of Birmingham (BUCU) decided to suspend its plans for strike action on Thursday 28th February as well as Monday 4th March.

According to a press release sent to Redbrick on February 28th, a ‘very well attended members meeting’ of the Union agreed upon postponing the intended strike ‘pending the outcome of further talks with university management.’

The press release also states that close to half the Union’s members at Birmingham had voted previously in a postal ballot, with sixty five per cent of the union voting yes to the statement ‘Are you prepared to take part in industrial action consisting of strike action?’

The union is calling for ‘the threat of compulsory redundancies to be lifted’ and is ‘negotiating for a Redundancy Avoidance Agreement.’ Three departments currently have union members being threatened by

8th February 2013 compulsory redundancies, the Institute of Archeology and Antiquity, the Department of Education as well as the Department of Physiotherapy. BUCU also ‘accuses senior management of bullying tactics’.

A statement from the Union reads ‘In light of the progress achieved, the first two halfday strikes will be withdrawn in order to allow UCU negotiators to continue with negotiations and seek clarification on a number of points around each of the three main issues: compulsory redundancy, the Job Security Agreement and the Memorandum of Understanding on Performance Management.’

At the same meeting, an additional motion was passed that resolved to ‘seek permission from the national officers for new strike dates if substantial progress was not made during the negotiations.’

There are still three more days of actions during the month of March, beginning with a half-day strike set for March 12th as well as two full day strikes in the coming weeks.

VPE Simon Furse calls for students to support strike action.

22nd February 2013

52%

of those voting at the University of Birmingham supported strike action

Members of BUCU vote in favour of strike action.

4th March 2013 BUCU decides to suspend planned strike action.

5

dates rescheduled for strike action

University.

21/24 - the University of Bir-

mingham's place in student-staff

ratio of

Russell Group universities.

12th March 2013 BUCU strikes now rescheduled.

Guild holds fi rst textbook fair

University of Birmingham part of new global justice programme

Beth Clarke News Editor

@beth__clarke

Beth Clarke News Editor

@beth__clarke

The University of Birmingham is joining forces with the Universities of Yale and Delhi to support the development of a pioneering global justice programme in India: The Nyaya Global Justice Programme.

Nyaya, meaning ‘justice’ in Hindi, will also serve as the centre for a trilateral doctoral student exchange programme connecting the University of Delhi, the University of Birmingham’s Centre for the Study of Global Ethics and Yale’s Global Justice Program.

The programme, based in the University of Delhi, is designed to be a new intellectual hub for the study of ethical questions that have strong implications for India and neighbouring countries. This will cover issues surrounding fairness in international trade, G20 and United Nations Security Questions,

cooperation in poverty reduction efforts and similar questions.

Reader in Political Theory at the University of Birmingham’s Department of Political Science Dr Luis Cabrera spoke on the new programme saying, ‘It’s very exciting to be taking this initiative forward with colleagues at Delhi and Yale. Nyaya will be the first major global justice programme in India and it will add an important focus on the Global South, as well as voices from South countries, to the dialogue on ethical issues that cross borders.’

The programme’s development, funded by the British Council’s Trilateral Research in Partnership (TRIP) Awards, will also fund two major conferences, one in Delhi and a graduate conference in Birmingham.

Louise Warren

Birmingham's Guild of Students is set to hold its first secondhand book fair this Monday 18th March.

The pilot trial book fair is for students from the College of Social Sciences, giving students of the Business School, Education, Government and Society, and Social Policy the opportunity to buy or sell text books relevant to their course.

Students that wish to sell their course books can drop them off at FixIt, situated in the Guild, between the 13th and 16th March, ready for purchase on the 18th between 10am and 6pm in the Amos Room.

Students can also set the price of the books they wish to sell, as long as they comply with the terms and conditions of the fair.

Building from the pilot book fair, the Guild hopes to host a

second fair encompassing all school's during next year's Welcome Week.

Current President of the Guild of Students David Franklin, whose manifesto last year included the creation of the second-hand book fair, spoke to Redbrick saying, 'I’m delighted to see a key manifesto commitment coming to fruition in that we’ll be running a second-hand textbook fair this term. This first one is deliberately limited to the College of Social Sciences, primarily so that we can get our heads around how to run it logistically with a view to running a university-wide fair during welcome week 2013. Similar fairs have been really successful elsewhere and provide a great service delivering value to students at a time of high fees and living costs.’

4 | 8th - 14th March 2013

#GuildElections13 Campaign Week Roundup.

Josh Llewellyn stops campaigning amid allegations of sexism Ashley Kirk News Editor

@AshleyKirk92

It has been reported that Josh Llewellyn, a candidate running for the Vice President (Housing and Community) role, has pulled out of active campaigning amid accusations of sexism.

The accusations arose from a blog post written by Alice Swift (Ethical and Environmental Officer), which stated that during the Guild Council that took place on 31st January, Llewellyn made a sexist comment from his personal Twitter account.

Swift commented that, 'All of this left me feeling very upset. In Guild Council we always talk about how few women get involved with Guild politics. The current VPW, and only female Sabbatical Officer this year, Katherine East consoled me.'

She also referred to a drawing posted on Llewellyn's personal Facebook wall, depicting sexually explicit content of a friend of his having sex with his mother.

Swift follows this by stating her concern that 'the so-called Guild “Zero Tolerance Policy” has had no effect on him, despite involving himself heavily in the Guild and running as a Sabbatical Officer Candidate.'

She does, however, state that Llewellyn then apologised and offered to meet with her and Katherine East, VPW, to discuss his actions.

Swift told Redbrick that 'I think he should stand down entirely. His apology was not unreserved he was only sorry to the people he offended making it seem like we were the ones who were wrong for misinterpreting his comments.

'What worries me the most is how someone so clearly sexist could get as far as running for a Sabbatical Officer position in the first place. The Zero Tolerance policy is just a policy; it doesn't translate into any tangible action against misogynists. Women in public positions shouldn't have to expect abuse like this'.

Llewellyn's Facebook campaign wall announced his intention to stop campaigning.

He stated that, 'her post has made me reconsider my actions, and I feel that stopping campaigning is the right thing to do. I do feel it has been blown out of proportion, though I completely understand people's views on it and why it is wrong. Again, my apologies to anyone offended.'

Voting Begins

Voting began on Monday 4th March at 10am.

Candidates and their teams filled campus with signs and banners urging students to vote for them.

Anita Baumgärtner

Guild TV @GuildTelevision

Presidential Debate

Each of the candidates running for the role of Guild President answered questions from the floor about a number of topics including press freedom and increasing groups.

Zahra Damji @zahra_damji

University Square Hustings

The University Square Hustings on Monday gave all of the candidates a platform to voice their manifesto aims to students on campus just hours into the voting period.

www.redbrick.me/news | 5

Candidates' campaign signs vandalised Ashley Kirk News Editor

@AshleyKirk92

Some of the Guild Elections Candidates' campaign signs have been found vandalised on the Edgbaston campus after two days of campaigning.Signs were knocked down, ripped and painted over on the night of Thursday 28th, with no campaign seeming to be targeted more than the others. Some signs had been painted over with alternate mock slogans, such as 'Vote Boner'.

Areas targeted include Chancellor's Courtyard, outside the library and the main path leading up from Selly Oak and Grange Road.

After candidates had become aware of the damage, they began the process of reposi-

Louise Warren

tioning and repairing their campaign signs.

One candidate, whose signs were vandalised, told Redbrick, 'it's such a shame when all candidates have worked so hard already.

The only positive is that it draws attention to the Officer elections. I can only hope that the candidates come back fighting.'

Redbrick has also learnt of mock campaign signs put up around the Vale student village, containing sexually explicit content based on the acronymic slogan ‘vote ALED’.

Some were found near the entrance of Tennis Courts, and were taken down by residents. The signs have faced criticism on the Guild Development Forum, being described as an example of ‘shocking and disgusting behaviour’.

Louise Warren

Michael Jevon

Katrin Busch @kabulein

Louise Warren

Louise Warren

Louise Warren

Louise Warren

See online at www.redbrick.me/news for more Guild Elections news Candidates warned over negative campaining Candidate Interviews

Follow Redbrick's GuildElections13 Results Night coverage at

www.guildelections.co.uk Louise Warren

www.redbrick.me/news

6 | 8th - 14th March 2013

Guild of Students.

Allegations of harassment at Fab 'n' Fresh

Cure Leukaemia.

'Old Joe' goes red as awareness campaign concludes Patrick McGhee News Editor

@Patricksmcg

The face of 'Old Joe', the clock tower on campus, turned red last week to raise awareness for the Cure Leukaemia campaign. On its website, the University of Birmingham said, ‘Marking the end of the West Midlands Red

Alert Appeal in partnership with BBC Radio WM 95.6 raising money for Cure Leukaemia, the University’s 110 metre high clock tower will be one of a number of iconic buildings in the city to turn red for the campaign on 28 February 2013.’ Following a series of awareness-raising campaigns, Redbrick takes a look at the changing face of Old Joe.

Zak Bentley Reporter

@ZBentley1

It has been reported on the Guild Development Forum that there were instances of at least two people wearing 'blackface' at Fab 'n' Fresh last week as part of fancy dress.

It appears the individuals involved bypassed Guild security despite security being informed of the Guild Council motion passed on the 31st January that stated, ‘this motion 'This motion intends to enforce intends to enforce the Guild’s Zero the Guild's Zero Tolerance to all Tolerance Policy to all forms of dis- forms of discrimination' crimination and turn away students that have blacked up their skin as part Text of the Guild Council motion of their fancy dress from the Guild of regarding zero tolerance of discrimination Students building.’

Guild President David Franklin said, ‘As I entered Fab with Katherine East Vice-President (Welfare), we saw a group of people in blackface waiting outside the entry barriers. We dis- 'We discussed the situation with cussed the situation with security and security and confirmed the new confirmed the new Guild policy with Guild Policy with them.' them in order to ensure that they were denied entry, which I understand they Guild President David Franklin were.’

He went on to say that, ‘I don't know how other individuals might have got in, it's possible that during the fire alarm, they may have been able to enter. We'll be making sure to clarify and communicate the policy Jo Thomas with security’.

Leukaemia

Breast Cancer

Go Green Week

Diabetes

James Dolton Online Comment Editor

@Jamesadolton

Old Joe's ability to change colour like an excitable chameleon has wowed and baffled semi-conscious Fab-goers with increasing regularity in the last few weeks. Each of the above colours are raising awareness for various charities and this is an excellent use of such a prominent feature of the Edgbaston skyline. However, the question everyone is interested in remains unanswered: exactly which colour is most becoming? First of all,

Louise Warren

the red. This is a nice bright shade, but looks a little eery against this skyline, especially in March and so far from Halloween. Next is the pink. I enjoy the premise, but the actual colouring is a little insipid - a bolder effort would have been more appreciated. Go Green Week was the most thematically relevant, but the colour selected was fearfully lurid and give the sky a sickly tinge. Hence, my favourite shade is the excellent blue of diabetes day. It warmed the skyline in a striking yet elegant way. Hurray!

Guild closes 'Overheard' Facebook group Patrick McGhee News Editor

@Patricksmcg

The 'Overheard' Facebook page, which publicised statements made by students on campus, has been closed this week by the Guild of Students after the Vice-President (Welfare) Katherine East discovered that she was sole administrator of the group.

In a statement on the Guild Development Forum, East said, 'Recently I have received many complaints from students about the content of the Overheard Group.

'Following a discussion in the Sabbatical Officer Group meeting yesterday where it was noted that this BhamGuild VPW count is actually the only administrator of the group, it was decided that the Guild is now respon-

'The decision was taken to delete the group, especially following such a large number of complaints.' sible for that group and all of its content. The decision was thus taken to delete the group, especially following such a large number of complaints.'

An official statement notifying members of the group stated, 'It has come to our attention that the Guild has been inadvertently made the sole administrator of the Overheard Facebook group.

'It is neither practical nor appropriate for Guild Officers to moderate and regulate the content of such a group which was created by others, and in light of the recent and histori-

cal offensive content the decision has been taken to delete the group within the next 48 hours.

'We would like to advise all students to consider the implications before posting to "Overheard" type Facebook groups or pages.

If anyone has been affected by the content or issues raised on the Overheard group, we ask that you get in touch with the ARC (Advice & Representative Centre).'

'It is neither practical nor appropriate for Guild Officers to moderate and regulate the content of such a group which was created by others.'

Responding to suggestions that the group be kept open and administrated in order to prevent new groups being created, East explained that, 'It has been put to me a few times now that we should simply add additional admins and/or remove the Guild involvement.

'Unfortunately this is not a sufficient solution as the Guild is now part of the paper trail meaning that if anyone were to lodge legal proceedings against the page the Guild would be in the firing line (along with fb etc) for allowing new administrators to take over and ceasing the power to moderate.

'We either continue to moderate ourselves and take all of the risks that come with that, pass the buck and still maintain those risks, or delete the group entirely. The latter is, unfortunately, our only viable option.'

Last year, Redbrick published a series featuring some of the statements from the 'Overheard at the University of Birmingham' page.

We went back to our old editions to bring you a few of the most cerebral campus quotes.

'Like, I really need to be careful with my loan. I spent £400 on a tattoo last night.'

'Why is Mexico not in the Eurovision Song Contest?'

'I added orange juice to milk once.

I thought I'd make orange milk, but it curdled.'

www.redbrick.me/comment | 7 @RedbrickComment

Prime Minister's Question Time James Phillips

'The Sworn Enemy' James Phillips examines the relationship between the USA and everyone's favourite pariah North Korea

Tell me, when I ask you to think of two nations of the world who are notoriously known for their enmity, what names come to your mind? Israel and Palestine? USA and Russia? USA and North Korea? It is the latter that has come particularly into the limelight most recently, yet it is quite a strange situation. If we consider them to be archenemies, it is questionable as to how their long-term hostility has not resisted a manifestation into direct conflict.

So, what is it that’s stopped a usually arms-friendly nation from sending their warships over and demolishing the republic?

Their history spans a relatively long period in the timeframe of American history with relations being negative from as early as the mid-nineteenth century, before the nation split into the North and South regions, when the region closed its borders to Western trade and attacked ships sent to negotiate treaties. These relations worsened during the Cold

Wherever the US saw a threat, they would pre-emptively act on it and reduce the and Korean wars, and on creation of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, the United States refused to and continue to refuse to grant diplomatic recognition to the country.

As we look over the last century, we can see the US comfortably waging war in Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq and, most recently, intervening in Libya. It would appear that wherever the US saw a threat, they would pre-emptively act on it and reduce the threat considerably. It is debatable, but perhaps they have stopped short of colonisation and imperialismwhilst“democratising”and“stabilising”

their battlegrounds. If they’re not waging a war physically, it’s almost certainly some form of psychological and propaganda warfare and a constant assertion of US dominance and power throughout the world – even if they wanted to, no country is left believing the US weak, including the UK. However, it appears the same cannot be said of North Korea.

Recent tests of satellites, long-range missiles and nuclear weaponry in the North Korean region has heightened tensions across the world. Yet, in vast contrast to the US intervention in Afghanistan which was just under a month after the 9/11 attacks, any direct action from the United States is restrained.

Perhaps it is the worry of response from the allies, China and Russia in particular. Yet, this is unconvincing; the lack of support from allies did not stop them in their advancement into Iraq in 2003. Perhaps they have learned their lesson from the global criticism of this attack, and this is the reason they have also not intervened to stabilise Syria.

Yet, when Kim Jong-Un is blatantly threatening the United States with technology that could be used against Hawaii immediately, and an invasion that the American people are more likely to approve of than Iraq, it is bizarre that the US administration are able to hold so much restraint on their actions; it is not something they are so well known for. Perhaps we are seeing a change in attitude under Obama, even though his own home turf is supposedly directly at threat, with the whole Western coast in sights within three years.

Is this a continuation of the cold war that emerged between the United States and Korea in the mid-twentieth century, or is this a new cold war? Whatever it is, it is definitely a case of both countries preparing to flex their muscles and show off their fabulous warheads that they could launch at any time, and maybe something we should be worrying about. Perhaps we’ve already responded with a secret deployment of troops in the South region who should be worried about their “final destruction”.

@MisterJames_

A furious Cameron erupted in the chamber today, blasting Labour as ‘croupiers’ and demanding that Miliband apologise for the “shambles” that the Labour treasury left the economy in under the last Government. Labour attacked the Government for their opposition to the EU’s banker’s bonus cap, suggesting it as hypocrisy that they would want to do this whilst inflicting deep and damaging cuts, including the “bedroom tax” on the poorest and most vulnerable of society. Cameron refuted the claims, arguing many times that the reform was not a tax, and that the most vulnerable sectors of society were exempt. Miliband ridiculed the Conservative party on their 2015 prospects, stating that he was glad Cameron was preparing for being in opposition by asking him questions, before saying that he looked forward to seeing Theresa May directly opposite him in opposition. One Liberal Democrat MP (in a rather dazzling yellow waistcoat) congratulated their victor in the Eastleigh by-election, proclaiming the benefits of sticking by their leader . Another MP asked how Cameron's talks with Ukip, the party of “nutcases”, were going. Cameron almost ignored the remark, instead stating that it showed that Labour were going “precisely nowhere”. Finally, one Labour MP told Cameron that if doesn’t “get a grip”, he should let Miliband in the seat to do so instead.

8 | 8th - 14th March 2013

A Country In Turmoil Political Commentator Benjamin Cheung examines the General Election results and a voting system in need of change.

What happened last week is something I would call a mess. After all the votes were processed from all districts, the Italian public has spoken and the general election results are as follows: The lower house, Bersani’s Centre-Left bloc, got 29.57%, Berlusconi’s Centre-Left bloc got 29.15%, Grillo’s Five Star Movement got 25.54% and the Centrist Mario Monti got 10.57%.

So the next logical question is which parties will form a coalition government then? The answer is doomed to be uncertain, at least for a while, and here is why. In order to form a government, the future coalition will need over half of the lower house votes.

One current possibility would be the formation of a coalition between the CentreLeft and the Centrist Monti. However, as the left has been thumping hard on Monti’s tax plans for Italy, and with the economy being one crucial issue in the midst of the election, this coalition might not work.

Also, even by combining the CentreRight with Monti (that gives you 39.72%) or

1

by combining the Centre-Left with Monti (that gives you 40.14%), neither a ModerateLeft nor a Moderate-Right coalition would be enough to form the government. Hence, the logical prediction would be a coalition formed between either the left or the right and the five star movement by Grillo, but then that will be another major problem.

Grillo has been seen as an opportunistic person leading a populist movement to get elected, in order to reflect public frustration towards existing politicians. In truly layman's terms, yes my friends, Grillo was trolling.

And yes, he trolled with 25.54% of the lower house votes. He is seen as the most unstable factor of the election.

During the campaign, Grillo had nearly no agenda, no outlined plans for the country and no political ideals. All he tried to do was to use this election to proclaim how frustrated the general public is. As such, no one can predict whether Grillo is left leaning or right leaning. Nonetheless, the Italian has made the opportunistic trolling show host the

After the town of L’Aquila had been decimated by an earthquake, leaving hundreds dead and 17,000 homeless, Silvio appeared on the scene to provide support and succor. Only, he didn’t quite manage that. Instead, he suggested they all pretend they were camping..

2

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Arguably one of his most poorly thought-out jokes was when he suggested that a Socialist German MEP, Martin Schultz, would be perfect in the role of a Nazi concentration camp guard. This was only the second day in which Italy had been in charge of the presidency of the European Union.

‘Kingmaker’ of the Italian government.

So what now? As I said earlier, the situation is a mess and there seems to be no quick solution thus far. No one knows what will happen, and the ultimate victim of all is the Italian economy. When early exit polls suggested a Centre-Left Bersani victory, the markets went up and stock exchange in Milan went up by 4%; though it dropped when the final polls indicated otherwise.

With unstable political realities, the market showed signs of fluctuation during the voting day and it is predicted to continue unless a firm decision is made among the parties in forming a coalition as soon as possible.

Regardless of party politics, I do believe that when politics have failed the people, the people who voted should also be the ones to blame. Especially when nearly a third of the country was willing to forgive so quickly a formerly ousted Prime Minister who was alleged to have sexual relations with minors, and was criminally convicted for tax evasion.

The Italian public might need to reconsider where their fingers should be pointing towards when the current situation has become stagnant.

Yet, one must not also underestimate the level of public frustration towards politics in Italy these days. One would even say the fact that a trolling campaign has now created a powerbroker in Italian politics would be indeed frightening to many. However, there are reasons for such frustration when the country is in turmoil due to the European financial crisis, and when the current voting system in the upper house is still highly favoring regions which Berlusconi still exerts heavy influence on, substantive political changes are needed at the earliest opportunity.

@Bc_viola

Berlusconi's Top 5 Moments: 5

This is one of Berlusconi's most recent gaffes, and comes in the midst of the 'bunga-bunga' scandal.

Accused of an abuse of power by intervening in the criminal case of a 17-year-old Moroccan runaway, and alleged to have had orgies, his defence was simple. Attributing his actions to the fact that his 'sense of solidarity is very strong,' he added that 'it is better to love beautiful women than to be gay.

4

In 2003, Silvio made a trip to the United States.

While he was there, he made a speech intended to encourage more investment in Italy. So how did he try to encourage businessmen? Was it by tax breaks, government grants and highlighting the advanced infrastructure of Italy, or the easy access to European and North African markets? Er, not exactly. He suggested instead that people should invest in Italy because, 'We have beautiful secretaries... superb girls' and 'fewer communists.'

Elections seemingly bring out the best (or worst, depending on your perspective) in Berlusconi. In 2006, prior to an election, he said that anyone who didn’t vote for him was a 'dickhead,' and that he did not think there were 'many pricks around who would vote against their own best interests.' He lost.

Read more: http://uk.askmen. com/top_10/entertainment/top-

@elishaowen11

www.redbrick.me/comment | 9

The Next Chapter Of Christianity

Religious Correspondent Meg Tapp considers recent changes that will affect the Christian community.

The Christian community in Great Britain has some changes coming its way in the form of a new Archbishop and Pope. Justin Welby has succeeded Rowan Williams as the principal leader of the Church of England, and now that Joseph Ratzinger has resigned from Popedom, a shiny new one looks to be elected in the next few months. The profile of Christianity has undergone some changes of late, with many members of the C of E in particular backing movements such as the introduction of female bishops, or speaking in support of same-sex marriage, indicating that these new religious leaders will find new challenges in their duties where the UK is concerned.

The religious dynamics of our country are shifting. Official statistics show that 25.1% of people in England and Wales describe themselves as having no religion – data courtesy of the 2011 census – and 59.3% align themselves with Christianity.

As far as official numbers go, that’s quite a majority of Christians, but the number of non-religious Brits has risen by just over 10% since the 2001 census, indicating that more people are living a secular life in the UK than ever before. As such, a lot of attitudes are changing in this country regarding the role of religion. The Christian faith is still a big part of the identity of the UK - with our head of state also being the Supreme Governor of the Church of England – and, ‘officially’, we are considered a Christian country.

However, religious matters and state matters are – arguably – drifting further apart, with debates about faith schools, discussions about the un-elected Bishops in the House of Lords etc. Not only that, but there appear to be fewer people who look to religion as the only source of morality.

Baroness Warsi recently came under scrutiny for her comment that 'people who do God, do good', with many people from different

faith groups coming forward to state that they feel that view is antiquated, and not appropriate in the 21st century. It could be argued that modern day Britain is a difficult environment for a church to flourish.

Justin Welby is taking on a lot in his new job, and he will have to try to juggle both his own views and the views of those he represents. The statistics do show that just under 60% of people in this country consider themselves to be Christian, so a large proportion of residents in the UK are very much in his sphere of influence. The problem may come in trying to find one attitude towards issues - such as same-sex marriage - that accurately represents the thoughts of the Anglican community.

Church-goers are more divided now than ever where certain topics are concerned – indeed, some were against the proposal of female bishops, where the majority appeared to be in support – and so determining one hard-line response to these issues may prove hard. Some secularists might claim that this is the start of religion declining in this country; the Archbishop may have his work cut out.

Christianity will be the most populated faith group in the UK for some time – of that, I have no doubt. I think it likely that, in light of a shift in cultural attitudes towards certain social topics, internal questions may be asked in the Anglican community, and the conservative stance of Justin Welby may turn out to be somewhat out-dated for many practising Christians.

Other members of the church have supported him, stating their confidence in his ability to be logical and flexible on these matters.

Only time will tell.

@MLTapp

10 | 8th - 14th March 2013

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (with Friends) Redbrick Commentator Declan Kenny looks at the latest Facebook 'craze' Facebook has changed the world; I’m not the first person to say that. As of last month, 32,175,460 people in the UK had Facebook; that’s roughly half the British population. There is one feature that is of greater importance than all the rest, someone’s ‘relationship status’. Who’s single, who’s married and who’s in a complicated situation, can all be found out at the click of a button. As it’s put in the film Social Network ‘This is what drives college, are you having sex or aren’t you?’ Perhaps Mark Zuckerberg didn’t make a feature that explicit; however, he did make relationships more public.

But what about if they were to become that public? What about an App that tells you whether the people you want to sleep with, want to sleep with you? Well, ‘Bang With Friends’ does just that.

It allows for two willing users to be matched, in order for them to simply arrange a time and a place. On the surface it seems like a very easy way to cut to the chase and get down to business! But are we really willing to hand over the chase, the mystery and the chance of it all going tits up?

When ‘Bang with Friends’ launched it was apparently gaining 5 new members a second. A statistic, which highlights its initial popularity.

However, since then and a month down the line, ‘Bang With Friends’ membership has slowed down; they now boast a mere 260,000. That may sound like a lot, but in the grand scheme of things and compared to the amount of people using other apps, it’s rather insignificant. So why is it that the amount of people signing up started to dwindle?

Perhaps it’s because people were scared that it may

be used fraudulently. Let’s not deny that it would be a pretty intense ‘frape’, for whoever was willing to suffer the consequences. I know I would be forever questioning the legitimacy of the people I’d been matched with. But for campuses across the country, buzzing with vibrant ‘laddy’ culture, surely there is more to it than being scared of it not being genuine. People may like to boast to their friends about who they’re sleeping with and I can imagine when many women heard about this app they were waiting for their male friends to sign up and talk amongst themselves. But clearly they didn’t. We clearly like the chase; the reason we may boast to our friends about our sexual activity is because it took some level of seduction. It’s the magic of being able to seduce someone that has kept people away from the app. When something

is offered to you so easily on a plate, it turns out we don’t just take it.

It’s very reassuring to know that we draw the line at some point, with regards to our online activity. It would be a sad day if this were the way we commonly found people to have sex with. It seems far too like a sickly futuristic thought. If there’s a struggle involved in trying to seal the deal, then surely once they do it’s all the sweeter. Humans have no purpose, we find things for ourselves to do and when things become all too readily available, we opt for the scenic route. It’s a much better thought to know that you both went through some form of effort in order to make love to someone, full credit to humanity for drawing the line and maintaining some level of dignity and lust, whilst laddy-culture takes an unforeseen blow.

@declankenny94

News Views Dan Baird. It was billed as the game the world wanted to see and tuesday's night's match between Man Utd and Real Madrid certainly didn't disappoint on the drama side. A 56th minute decision to send off Nani for a high footed tackle on Arbeloa has sparked a lot of controversy within the football world. The game had started with a tactical clash of two of the greatest managers the game has ever seen and it seemed that Alex Ferguson was winning. The decision by the referee changed the game and I think the question every football fan has to ask themselves is that if this was my team would I feel cheated if they had been denied the biggest prize in football?

SPORT

MUSIC

Juan Carlos. I'm gonna lay it out there. I'm not really the biggest Justin Bieber fan, so news that he appeared on stage 2 hours late at a gig in the O2 Arena I'd have thought would be (for me) a blessing in disguise. I mean Bieber's whole UK tour has been a slow motion PR car crash, from being denied access to a club in Manchester, swanning around topless in Brimingham and being spotted holding a suspicious looking cigarette. Recently the wheels have been a little shaky on the Bieber bandwagon but as we all know the only rule about Justin Bieber is 'don't criticise Justin Bieber' lest you bee decended upon by a twitchfork mob.

James Dolton. IKEA announced that they have withdrawn chocolate almond cakes after sewage bacteria found normally in human and animal waste was located within these tasty treats. That's right - traces of faeces were inside cakes. This is pretty horrible, but what was more alarming is that the I announced this hideous story in a terrifyingly surreptitious fashion in the inside cover of page 9. And this wasn't just one batch, that was threatened, but two tonnes of stock from twenty three countries were destroyed. This is a story about food hygiene that is genuinely dangerous and despicable in content and has been given no coverage. Why? At least it's not cute little horses!

FOOD

www.redbrick.me | 11

Editorial.

1973-2013

Some albums are @RedbrickPaper timeless. In our present era dominated by rampant consumerism, individualism and economic crises, one in particular stands out. Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon turned 40 years old last week, but in its way it is a perfect critique of the present order. That in itself is ironic, because it sold 40 million copies and made the band a fortune. Nonetheless, if you’ve never listened to it then an aural masterpiece goes begging. It is effectively two continuous sides of music, each track blending perfectly into the other. It still remains one of the most beautifully crafted and critically acclaimed works in popular music, but its message is haunting: of individuals trapped by money, time and mortality. In an odd way, it has strange parallels with our university life. We students are told to hope, dream and achieve happiness, but we’re tied to immense levels of personal debt and forced to compete against each other in a saturated job market. And Dark Side of the Moon, in its own idiosynctatic way, serves to highlight this entrapment.

Give the album 45 minutes of your time, and you’ll be hit by its message. Sometimes it feels like this era of individualism serves only to corrupt the soul, where all of us, under unprecedented pressure to ‘succeed’ - a word now shackled by its connotations with money, look up from this race only to see life flashing by. And what do Pink Floyd say? Amongst the many poetic lyrics that weave throughout Dark Side of the Moon, one passage stands out: ‘You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find ten years have gone behind you. No one told you when to run. You missed the starting gun.’

Poingnant words, forty years old, that still resonate strongly.

12 | 8th - 14th March 2013

@RedbrickArts @RedbrickArts

Feature

Featured Writer: The Writers' Bloc Journal The Language of Birds

Charlie Dart

My father was a great man with a great beard in which birds nested, occasionally hopping up to whisper secrets in his ears as he sat reading in his library. The birds hear everything, see everything, and only my father understood their graceful words: he knew things about the world that I could never conceive of; they had taught him the secrets of the human heart and he looked straight through me. I tried listening to the birds on the Ash tree outside my window, but I could not translate those beautiful fluctuations of pitch into meaning. So every night I crept into my father’s library, searching for some hint, some clue that would teach me how to understand, in those crumbling, leather bound volumes, full with knowledge so arcane it was only found there and carved inside the tombs of ancient kings.

And finally, after three years, when I had learned the name of Sleep so I knew how to avoid him, after three long years when I had the beginnings of a beard, I found the legend of Sigurd and I knew what to do. I spoke the name of the Shadows, so that I could become one with them, slipping under my father’s bedroom door. Then, making no sound, I spoke the name of the Moon and she spun me a blade from her light that was so sharp it could not be seen. Svangr, it was called, and with it I stole my father’s heart and fled from the room. Outside, I spoke to the Ash and he sacrificed himself in flame, upon which I roasted the heart, listening to the fire spit warnings of eternal damnation without heeding them. When it was done I held my father’s heart above my head and watched the blood boil through the air and into my mouth where it opened my mind but scorched my tongue irreparably.

Now I sit here, listening to the birds speak in verse, understanding the secrets of the human heart. I cannot tell them that I already know, as they hop up my great beard.

What is your role within Writers’ Bloc, can you tell us about what the society does and what the Journal is?

I’m the Treasurer, which means that I deal with the funds but I’m also involved with everything really. There’s always something to do. The Writers’ Bloc is the University of Birmingham’s one and only Creative Writing society. We do weekly meetings at 4.30pm in the Arts Room of the Guild. We also do open mic nights called Grizzly Pear. Our Poetry Slam against Cambridge and Cardiff is coming up soon on the 7th. Come along; it’s going to be amazing! I’m currently doing The Salon which is an editing session held in the Woodstock Café every other Wednesday. The next one is on 6th March at 6pm. Anyone with work to share is welcome to come along. The Journal is the society’s publication and creative outlet for those who write. It exists to get people’s work out into the public sphere.

You are a regular performer at the society's events, usually at the Bristol Pear. Have you always been a performance poet or were you inspired to perform once you joined Writers’ Bloc?

I was definitely inspired to perform once I joined Writers' Bloc. In first year I saw other people doing it and thought, 'I can probably do that.' At first it’s really scary but once you’ve done it you know you can do it again. It’s a good way of getting feedback - not in an academic sense - but to gauge whether people actually like your stuff or not. Even if you’re not an actor/ actress or a natural performer, it’s possible to create something that people will still enjoy and appreciate.

You’ve lately won the Feature Piece for the Writers' Bloc Journal. Was there a theme or did you submit something you had recently written?

The theme was 'Past versus Future'. I worked towards this theme, but it was an idea that I’d had in my head for a while. The son takes on the position of the father and I wanted to represent the different ways we pass on knowledge. He reads from all these archaic texts but this is not enough for him. He has to kill his father to gain the knowledge that his father has, but at no point does he simply ask his father about these things.

So your winning piece is called The Language of Birds. Was there a particular memory or event that inspired you to write this?

Well, I’d been reading a lot of Norse myths and poetry. For instance, The Prose Edda by Snorri Sturluson. He was an Icelandic scholar in the 13th century who compiled the original Norse myths into a single work. So when I was reading that I came across a passage in 'Skaldskaparmal' that was about Sigurd the Volsung, in which Sigurd kills a man/dragon called Fafnir and then roasts his heart. When the blood from the heart touches his tongue he can inexplicably hear what the birds are saying. They talk in verse to him. So yeah, that was the initial seed that started the idea. I just thought that was so weird that I needed to write something about it. It was originally a line break poem, but when Andy Cashmore edited it we put it into a prose format, which I decided I liked and actually worked better.

This is obviously quite an archaic piece, was there a larger world formed in your mind or was it simply one idea?

I want it to be isolated from the real world, as such. In the same way that fairy tales are, you’re never told much about the whole world, other than the familiar ideas of castles and forests.

I feel that not having a back story helps create a sense of magical realism; it’s removed from reality and therefore the reader accepts the strange events that occur rather the question them as they would if I’d given it a contemporary setting.

As a Creative Writing student, do you find that your degree helps with participating in Writers’ Bloc?

Writers’ Bloc caters to a need that the course doesn’t address. It’s such a good creative outlet; it augments the course in that respect. It’s a good place to talk about your work and talk about other people’s work. If I hadn’t gone to Writers' Bloc I would have found the university experience quite disappointing. I’ve met my best friends at University through Writers’ Bloc. I think I would definitely still be part of the society regardless, even if I was doing a different degree.

What made you start writing?

I started getting interested in being a ‘writer’ when I was doing my GCSEs, I guess, because it was something I’d always enjoyed. When I was young I used to draw maps of different imaginary lands with my brothers and sister. So I was just really interested in creating something that was bigger than myself. I properly started writing actively at A-Level when I began a novel, so I thought the best way to pursue this career path was to do Creative Writing at University; I’m doing my course to improve as a writer rather than just to get a degree.

www.redbrick.me/arts | 13

Reviews

Infinity Presents: The Pillowman

by Martin McDonagh Jenna Clake As a huge fan of Martin McDonagh’s In Bruges, when I found out that he had written The Pillowman, I knew to expect great things. However, nothing could quite prepare me for Infinity Stage Company’s production.

The Pillowman follows Katurian, a writer in a nameless, totalitarian state, who is being interrogated; someone has been acting out the child-murders that feature in his stories, and detectives Ariel and Tupolski think that Katurian is obviously to blame. To add more drama to this already tense atmosphere, the detectives have also arrested Katurian’s brother, Michal.

The play is full of black humour, and it needs it: the audience is faced with vivid stories of murder and child abuse, and plot twists are rife. Jack Toop managed most of the comedy, playing the endearingly unaware Michal with such depth that sounds of genuine sympathy were emitted from the audience. (I must also applaud Toop for his ability to stay hidden under a

duvet for a significant amount of the first half.)

'They were particularly frightening in their roles as the foster parents of the "little Jesus girl".'

The cast in its entirety were fantastic. The ensemble, consisting of Lily Blacksell, Tyler Harding and Cassiah Joski-Jethi, handled their varying roles particularly well.

Joski-Jethi was eerily convincing as a child, her movements and expressions capturing the essence of childhood.

Blacksell and Harding played two different sets of parents, and yet brought completely altered mannerisms to the roles. They were particularly frightening in their roles as the foster parents of the ‘little Jesus girl’: Blacksell was discomfortingly creepy, whilst Harding added depth to his character through anger.

Hannah Aldridge’s Tulposki

didn’t quite hit the mark at first; at times, the interpretation of the lines felt a little misguided and, when compared to the performances of other cast members, there simply didn’t seem much depth to the character.

However, Aldridge really shone in the second half of the play; she seemed more comfortable, her delivery was better, and Tupolski became a real person – not just a character.

Peter Dewhurst quite simply brought Ariel to life. He seemed to know his character thoroughly, making Ariel so much more than a typical detective. He completely embodied Ariel, so that his character’s traumas almost seemed like his own.

'Let’s not forget McDonagh’s script, though. It is, quite frankly, superb.'

The Lock In @ Town Hall Harriet Henderson Writer

Two very unexpected things happened on Friday 1st March: the first was that I spent the evening watching Morris Dancing, and the second was that I absolutely loved it.

Electric folk group The Demon Barbers are the creators and performers behind their production The Lock In, which ended its tour in Birmingham Town Hall. Frequently dubbed one of the best live acts in English folk music, The Demon Barbers combined English clog dancing, Morris dancing, hiphop and beat-boxing with ease, creating a fresh fusion of dance.

The evening began with warm-up act Maz O’Conner, who set the folksy tone for the evening with lyrical sea shanties comparable to Laura Marling's. She was effortless in her performance and the audience adored her.

The main performance was cleverly set inside a pub during a lock-in, hence the name, with various characters introduced and stories told through the universal medium of dance. The stock characters were all there including the comedy pub landlady, who happened to be in drag, a giggling hen party and an overtly publicly doting couple.

All performed with ease, but the real highlights came from the more subtle characters who presented excellent physical scores of depth - for example, a Bob Fosse inspired English clog dance, incorporating

dramatic lifts and clever choreography.

Another outstanding performance came from the trio of hip-hop dancers, whose moves were almost contemporary in their fluidity and provided the 21st Century kick that the performance needed.

Mention must also be given to the unbelievably talented onstage beat boxer, who was a dead ringer for Jessie J, clad in hitops and harem pants. One might think that English folk dance with a beat box backing would clash, but it absolutely didn’t: it completely updated the whole thing.

The most impressive performers however - and I can’t quite believe I’m saying this – were the Morris dancers. All were hot men under 30 (except for the company leader) and they made it look so cool.

Incredibly complex routines showcasing the age old techniques were revamped and made more accessible to a mixed audience, receiving standing ovations with every performance.

Although The Demon Barbers successfully modernised tradition, their roots are firmly in folk, which was clear to see in the lyrical live music that accompanied the performance throughout, as well as their attention to detail.

In many ways The Lock In was a bizarre performance, but The Demon Barbers made Morris dancing sexy, and I defy anyone to try and top that.

However, the man who stole the show was Ben Norris, playing the protagonist, Katurian. Norris handled the character’s swings from fear, love, anger and devastation with pure skill, and particularly showed an aptitude for storytelling.

He could completely hold the stage on his own, but the most memorable scenes of the play were those between himself and Toop.

They captured the love and bond between brothers in a touching, affectionate way, and yet stimanaged to show the underlying tensions that often exist between siblings.

The cast made excellent use of its minimal props; the sparsely

covered stage only added to the coldness of the totalitarian state, which was slightly warmed by a single desktop lamp in Ariel’s final act of kindness.

Let’s not forget McDonagh’s script, though. It is, quite frankly, superb. Intelligently blending horrific circumstances, histories and stories with humour, the audience is taken on an emotional journey – one that is (almost) three hours long, in fact. When the first half ends, the audience is so emotionally drained that they cannot comprehend experiencing the second half.

However, it is a credit to this production’s cast and crew that the audience returned, was completely captivated for the next hour, and congratulated them with a standing ovation.

14| 8th - 14th March 2013 @RedbrickLifeStyle

April Shacklock Senior Life&Style Writer

What struck me as I sat watching designer after designer showcase minimalist, androgynous, monochromatic collections at London Fashion Week last month, is how starkly contrasting they were to the controversial men’s collections in January. Masculine inspiration wasn’t contained in London; in fact the measure of masculinity in women’s fashion for A/ W13 seemed to increase as we travelled from London to Milan and finally Paris.

Richard Nicoll’s A/W13 show in London was described by vogue.co.uk as ‘masculine glamour’ and Gareth Pugh’s models were deemed ‘warrior women’ on elleuk.com.

These once-upon-a-time paradoxical words are now standard jargon in fashion week show reports. Fashion is embracing a homogeneous state.

Jean-Pierre Braganza was another designer who experimented with monochrome, loose tailoring, layering for women in his A/W13 show in London. In fact, the way in which he builds outfits by layering black on black, and using straight hemlines to distinguish, is very similar

to a look seen in Craig Green’s London Collection, whose models famously accessorized their pieces with a mask of broken wooden planks.

In Paris, the archaic rule that women are not allowed to wear trousers in public was officially abolished on the 10th February 2013.

This resulted in a fashion week which hosted overtly mannish shows. Dries Van Noten’s show for example, didn’t just fuse concepts of male and female clothing; the collection was almost made up entirely from menswear, feminised only with patches of oriental embellishment.

The décolletage is having a strictly unfashionable spring/summer in women’s fashion and it is set to continue throughout autumn/ winter as the polo neck makes a comeback layered under all-encompassing cocoon silhouettes.

So why did we see men in see through lace tops at Versace and men in leather dresses (aka dude dresses) with knee high boots at J.W. Anderson? Will there become a point where men and women do not need separate

fashion weeks? Men and women will be able to interpret the pieces to create outfits which are neither gendered or genderless: they are dynamic.

Gender is not just becoming irrelevant in terms of the clothes either; ex-Olympian Casey Legler has just become the first female to be signed exclusively as a male model and Andrej Pejic’s success as a womenswear model is soaring after he featured on the cover of Serbian Elle in January.

One could wonder why there wasn’t as much controversy surrounding the overlymasculine women’s fashion weeks as there was about the men’s fashion weeks. Is it that women have been fighting for equality in society for so long that this movement in fashion seems like a natural progression, even a tangible sign of success? Could men’s fashion weeks showcasing effeminate pieces similarly symbolise men’s acceptance of an equal female presence?

Will you and your partner be sharing clothes from now on?

Androgynous Fashion: It's a boy girl thing Lizzie Duffin Life&Style Writer

Casey Legler

Androgynous loving looks is the latest fashion. You could say that fashion is all about making a statement and when a female model can not only work menswear but work in menswear, a statement is certainly being made.

But this leads us to ask, what kind of statement is being made? Model Casey Legler recently made history to become the first female model to be signed to a male modelling agency and now, thanks to All Saints, has been given her first menswear modelling campaign. Quite alarming is the ease at which she can interchangeably model for both women and men’s fashion.

This recent fashion statement throws open a wider debate as to the extremity of the androgynous look that the industry is now seemingly supporting. It would seem that the miniscule 23 inch waists, as small as the minds of the fashion elite who covet such emaciation, can now work to sell menswear too.

Legler’s open armed welcome into the formalities of men’s fashion, could be further symbolic of the industry’s ugly desire to strip femininity from fashion. The trend of tinyframed females, could raise the question as to whether they wear the clothes or the clothes wear them? The clothes themselves hang from their frames as loosely as that elusive bargain from a hanger, a further indication that these models are mere objects to the designers, whose handiwork they present.

Arguably at the hands of these predominantly male fashion designers, it is evident that the fashion industry is more of a ‘man’s world’ than we might think. Fashion, as seen on catwalks across the globe, tailors to be more representative of the masculine form. A degrading

observation that emphasises an industry that continues to advance in its ways to belittle the women who work within it.

It would seem as though the designers don’t want any attention to be taken away from their creations and so would rather a non-descript figure that’s lost from beneath them. With its models’ physiques, the fashion industry is taking the androgynous look to the literal level. The ridiculously slim ‘fashionable’ figures showcase that it is on trend to dress like a boy. However, it should not be obligatory for a fashion model to actually look like one.

Andrej Pejic

www.redbrick.me/lifestyle |15

Coco Chanel's Highland Fling Fierce

Susie Dickey Life&Style Writer

It was the love affair that sparked a legend: it was 1924, and Gabrielle ‘Coco’ Chanel embarked on a romance with the second Duke of Westminster, Hugh Grosvenor. It was a romance to which the fashion world owes not only Karl Lagerfeld’s captivating collection at Linlithgow Palace in December, but also the iconic bouclé fabric that has kept Chanel a timeless classic.

It was announced this week that the newest face to represent the esteemed fashion house will be ethereal beauty, Tilda Swinton. The Scottish actress, with her high cheekbones, ghostly pallor, and timeless elegance, is the perfect embodiment of Lagerfeld’s ParisEdimbourg collection. The collection heavily features tartan, tweed, lace, and sporrans, and was inspired by another Scottish siren, Mary Queen of Scots.

So where has the inspiration for this homage to the Highlands come from? What is it about Scotland that so captured Coco’s imagination nearly a decade ago, and has come to the fore of Chanel collections time and time again since?

It was one of the chicest decades in fashion history, and Gabrielle and Hugh spent their days on the Duke’s estate, Reay Forest, in the Scottish Highlands. With Winston Churchill as their companion, they would play cards, hunt, and fish; activities which Gabrielle demonstrated a particular talent for, a talent that won her the admiration of Churchill

himself, ‘She fishes from morning to night, and in two months has killed 50 salmon’, he wrote to his wife, Clemmie.

The young couple enjoyed long summers together, and, two years into the relationship, Grosvenor purchased Rosahall, a twenty room Georgian mansion that Coco decorated using her own unique, effortless style; there were nude tones, floral motifs, and stunningly crafted fireplaces in every living room.

The tweeds her lover wore to hunt and fish, instantly appealed to her, and she began to experiment with the traditional woollen cloth handwoven by Highlanders. While her French weavers lamented at the course, lower quality fabric, Coco fell in love with its irregularities, and her signature Chanel tweed was born. She saw the beauty in the Duke’s tartan and Fair Isle patterns, patterns that have been a recurrent staple of Chanel, particularly in the 50s and 60s.

December’s Chanel show perfectly encapsulated both the past and present of the French fashion house, and its tribute to Coco Chanel’s love for Scotland ensured that the icon’s genius will never go forgotten.

"Everyone marries the Duke of Westminster.

There are a lot of duchesses, but only one Coco Chanel"

Natasha Woolf Life&Style Writer Maybelline - New 14 hour lasting lipstick. Sounds good to me.

Rihanna’s Collection - Has FINALLY arrived at River Island.

The Sunshine - Has made an appearance in Birmingham, maybe it will stick around for a while.

‘Side Effects’ Release - Channing Tatum and Jude Law starring in one film, need I say anymore.

5:2 Obsession - Fasting for 2 days and eating normally for 5 – potentially achievable?

Snapchat - The best app ever. Strike a pose.

Birmingham Fashion Week - 9th to 10th March in aid of UNICEF. Book your tickets now!

Don't be tagged in the same look Olivia Wilson twice Life&Style Writer

Fashion Weeks and Award Season are well and truly over. Boo.

Katie Price Vs Kelly Brook - The ongoing feud. Team Kelly all the way.

Daytime Casual

Evening Chic

Mess - Enough with campus looking like the end of Glastonbury with all the campaigning.

False Alarm at Fab – Way to ruin a night.

The End of 90210 - No more gorgeous Matt Lanter on our screens.

Disappointed.

Marc Anthony & Chloe Green Weirdest couple ever? We thought she was the same age as his twins..

Joey Essex's Hair Cut - His new 'do is causing a stir on twitter. #fusey Burrito Van back on Campus - So much for ditching the bad food for Lent. Hola to the Burritos!

Finished Fake Leather Skirt: Warehouse, £38. Crop top: Topshop, £14.

Handbag: ASOS, £35

Fake Leather Skirt: Warehouse, £38. Denim Shirt: New Look, £16.99. Ankle Boots: Office, £130

16| 8th - 14th March 2013

@RedbrickSci&Tech

Thailand’s Prime Minister, Yingluck Shinawatra, has announced that the country’s laws will be changed to ban the legal trade of ivory. Speaking at the opening of CITES, Shinawatra acknowledged that many countries have used Thailand as a transit for illegal ivory trade, and that the laws must be changed to be in line with international norms.

The Convention on International Trade in Endangered species (CITES) is an agreement between governments with an aim to ensure trading does not threaten species survival. This year’s meeting in Bangkok will review the treaty which protects around 35,000 animals and plants already. The news of the ivory trade ban is warmly welcomed by many campaigners, including WWF who sent a petition signed by nearly 1.5 million people to the Thai Prime minister. Aside from China, Thailand is currently the largest market for the sale of illegal ivory.

However, some have criticised the lack of a timeline set for the changes. An estimated 50 to 100 elephants are killed every day for their tusks, and campaigners stress that poaching has reached ‘horrifying’ levels. Also, with an estimated 5,000 stores selling ivory to tourists, some feel that it is unlikely the trade will ever be completely banned.

The meeting has been described as the most important in its history, due to the looming extinction crisis faced by many animal and plant species. This announcement is an important first step in the talks which will hopefully highlight the vulnerability of many important plants and animals.

Good News for Elephants!

Claire Harris Writer

50-100 elephants are killed every day for their tusks.

About 25,000 elephants are now killed for their tusks each year

Homes in danger as permafrost melts Soumya Perinparajah Writer

Permafrost is the frozen soil that covers 24% of the Northern Hemisphere, maintaining landscapes as we know them. In places such as Siberia, Alaska, Canada and the Arctic, permafrost is what is keeping the ground still, and buildings in their place.

Sub-zero temperatures usually keep melting of this natural phenomenon to a minimum, and for the most part, it remains as a stable structure. However, rising global temperatures mean that the rate of melting of permafrost could become much faster, according to a paper recently published in the journal Science.

Led by Anton Vaks, an earth scientist from Oxford University, the studies involved analysis of stalactite and stalagmite samples from Siberian caves. These structures can only form and grow if water melts above ground then penetrates deep into limestone lay-

ers in the ground resulting in formations called stalactites below ground hanging off the tops of caves. Similar to tree rings indicating the ages of trees, the ages of the stalactites and stalagmites can be determined by looking at their different component layers. The team found that a further rise in global temperature of 1.5°C could lead to a substantial increase in the rate of melting of permafrost.

An accelerated rate of depletion of permafrost has devastating consequences, some of which we have already begun to see. In the Arctic some buildings and roads have starting leaning to one side, adversely affecting the infrastructure of implicated towns and cities, it may also enhance the greenhouse effect; in its solid state, permafrost is a carbon sink, therefore, when melted, it can release carbon into the atmosphere through photosynthesis and other decay processes.

Activists in Thailand submitted a 500,000 signature petition to the prime minister to ban ivory trade

Around 2,500 elephants remain in Thailand,s now protected by the ban

www.redbrick.me/tech | 17

Syndrome makes amputees feel sensations from missing limbs We look at the latest research into the phantom limb syndrome and what causes such a unusual sensation

Ben Giblin Writer

A young man that I went to school with was recently involved in a car accident.

This led to his admittance into hospital and to him undergoing an amputation.

It’s a great relief to me now to read his good-natured Facebook posts detailing his on-going successful recovery. A new amputee will face a number of difficulties in re-adjusting, and one in particular highlighted by him was intermittent painful sensations of cramp in his leg.

Cramp - no big deal right,?

Easy to treat? Perhaps it

would be, if it wasn’t in the leg that’s missing.

My friend is just one of many amputees who experience sensations that their limb is still attached to the body. Rather aptly, this condition is known as phantom limb syndrome, and can cause trouble for many amputees, as the experience is rarely pleasant or amusing. For example, how does one relieve itching on a foot that is no longer there? How do you treat a non-existent hand that is constantly curled into a tight fist, burying non-

existent fingernails into a non-existent palm? Other amputees report that they are forever ‘banging’ their phantom limb on walls or in doors, causing them tremendous pain.

Phantom limb syndrome can be experienced by people born without limbs as well. It is not uncommon for sufferers to describe their phantom as being of an inappropriate size, e.g. a phantom arm six inches shorter than their actual arm.

Some patients’ phantoms remain paralysed, locked in

Phantom Limbs originate from remapping in the somatosensory cortex part of the brain

Review: Persona 4: Golden Sam Atkins

uncomfortable positions whereas others have phantom arms that naturally gesticulate as they talk, quite beyond their control.

How does one relieve itching on a foot that is no longer there?

Physicians have been aware of phantom limb syndrome for centuries – rightly so, considering the fact that at least 60-100% of amputees experience them at least temporarily. The first known documentation was by a French military surgeon in the 16th century. Admiral Nelson was also reported to have a phantom arm, which he believed provided proof of the existence of the soul; if a limb seemed able to ‘survive’ after its physical destruction, could not the consciousness survive after the body’s demise? Herman Melville’s character Captain Ahab from Moby Dick (1851) also developed a phantom leg after the whale bites his off.

Despite the notoriety of phantom limb syndrome, it is not until relatively recently that doctors began to have an insight into their causes.

Previous explanations ranged from phantom limbs being an example of ‘Freudian

Science and Technology Editor

denial’ (the subconscious rejecting the change in body image), to increased excitability of neurons following amputation leading to an influx of sensory ‘junk’ from the stump, interpreted by the brain as the missing limb.

However, the most promising of explanations was pioneered by a neuroscientist named Ramachandran.

Ramachandran hypothesised that phantom limbs originate from remapping in the somatosensory cortex – the part of your brain that contains neurons corresponding to the different areas of your body. When you move your hands, neurons in the ‘hand’ specific area on the cortex generate little electric signals to inform your brain that the hand is moving. The positions of each body part on the cortex, as well as their relative sensitivities, are illustrated by the ‘Penfield Homunculus’ – the hands and face areas being the physically largest parts of the image as they are the most sensitive areas.

Remapping takes place when a part of the somatosensory cortex no longer receives input, say if your hand was amputated. It has been shown using MEG imaging that adjacent areas on the cortex are able to recognise this dormancy, and sprout nerve fibres into the inactive area. For example, the face region may invade the ‘silent’ hand zone. At

that point, when the face area receives stimulus (e.g. when the person smiles, shaves, or applies makeup) the electrical signals are generated in the face area as normal, but also in the hand area! The consequence of the remapping is that the brain is fooled into thinking that the hand is still there!

Ramachandran verified his hypothesis simply by poking blindfolded patients in the face with an ear-bud; sure enough, the unfortunate ‘pokee’ reported that they felt this poke both on their face and on their phantom hand. The fact that the foot area is next to the genitals area on the cortex further supports his theory; it’s consistent with the reports of many amputees, that their phantom foot sensations become most intense during sex.

Understanding the inner mechanisms of phantom limb syndrome is only the first step for doctors confronted with a stricken patient. The means to treat the sensations remains and even greater obstacle (and would require an even longer article – Ramachandran’s ‘mirror-box’ is an interesting and unique method for those who are interested). It’s likely that remapping is only part of the genesis of a phantom limb but Ramachandran’s work is certainly paving the way for a universal treatment of the condition being developed.

@atkins_sam

Set in rural Japan, Persona 4: Golden is a murder mystery at its core. Investigating a series of kidnappings and deaths in the small town of Inaba, you find your team delving into the impossible from the start. All of the basics for a classic RPG tale are there, an outsider who finds himself involved in a massive adventure, plucky young heroes that defy the odds to succeed, and enough double crossing that you’ll have no clue who the true bad guys are. It’s a surprisingly deep take on the genre that repeatedly goes to some real introspective and emotional places, whilst retaining a refreshing Japanese charm and style throughout.

There’s been talk of games becoming a ‘second life’ for players, but Persona 4: Golden takes this concept to a whole new level. Though half of the game is spent battling enemies, searching through dungeons for rare loot, the rest of your time is spent building up social links with other characters in the game. Do you spend the evening with helping your cousin Nanako with her homework or go for Ramen with your best friend? Spending time with a friend boosts your social link with them allowing for more powerful Personas to be summoned in battle.

Time management is key to playing Persona 4: Golden effectively, with important events happening on certain days you need to be able to juggle the many opportunities that present themselves. So much of Persona 4: Golden is ‘optional’ that you could spend 60 hours completing the game and yet never encounter certain storylines.

Certain character’s stories are heartbreaking, a nurse dealing with the loss of one of her patients; a high schooler coming to terms with his sexuality; your uncle trying to move on from the death of his wife, his daughter's face reminding him of her every day, things can get very intense. It never feels forced, the natural progression of each of these stories over separate encounters means that the pacing is perfect.

There are all new features for the Vita version too, such as two new Social Links and a new dungeon.

It’s the subtle tweaks that will have fans of the original falling in love with the game all over again though.

Check out the website redbrick.me/tech for Fusing Personas has been streamlined and being able to retry the floor of a dungeon reduces the amount of times makes the game much more accessible. (And reduced the amount of times this editor threw the cona full review of Persona 4 Golden troller across the room in frustration down to zero).

Other developers should take notes from what Atlus have achieved here. They've taken an already brilliant game and turned it into one of the greatest RPGs of the last decade. With the most complete experience And follow us on twitter at @redbricktech on the PlayStation Vita it’s worth owning the handheld for. Emotionally poignant, genuinely funny, deceptively addictive and instantly accessible, Persona 4: Golden is essential.

18| 8th - 14th March 2013 @RedbrickMusic

Tickety Boo: Say Bey-Bey to Cheap Gigs Sam Orbaum Music Critic

@sam_orbaum

Signing into Facebook on Saturday 23rd February was like stepping into a virtual world of heartache and broken dreams. Even more so than usual. On this particular morning I couldn’t help but notice that the torrent of ‘fuck my life’ statuses all revolved around one central topic: Beyoncé tickets. Amid the doom and gloom (all emphatically expressed via multiple exclamation marks and even the occasional emoticon) a handful of brave souls had decided to risk the wrath of the online majority by bragging about their successful purchases. Needless to say, these statuses weren’t greeted by a steady succession of ‘likes’ or comments along the lines of ‘wow! I’m so happy for you’, but rather by a barrage of bitter abuse. However, the real hatred and resentment wasn’t aimed at those who had purchased tickets and were excited to see the show, it was saved for the touts who had bought extra tickets with the aim of making a quick profit from resales.

'Perhaps they should just throw the tickets into the street and allow people to fight for them?'

Aside from the fact that these people should all get a grip as there are far more pressing matters than Beyoncé tickets (Fleetwood Mac tickets for example), surely it is a problem that approximately an hour after official sales were finished, tickets that had originally been sold for up to £100 were reportedly being re-sold for figures approaching £1000.

Unfortunately this just appears to be yet another side-effect of the digital revolution in music. It is now perfectly conceivable, and probably commonplace, that the same people that download an artist’s album for free are then able to purchase a bunch of tickets to the live shows, attend, and still make a healthy profit.

The current system of sales doesn’t reward those who would have been willing to queue overnight in the hopes of getting close enough to bask in Beyoncé’s divine aura. It rewards a quick, steady internet connection. Even when the good old fashioned paper ticket method was attempted in Manchester, they still managed to balls it up. Horror stories of young girls that set up camp on the Friday before, only to fall victim to the dastardly ‘pusher-inners’ in the pivotal hours of the morning, were also circulating the web. It comes as no surprise to me that there was a lot of interest in the ‘Mrs Carter’ world tour. I would have hoped that it wouldn’t have come as a surprise to the organisers either, and yet surely a well regulated security team and queuing system would have helped to avoid the carnage that resulted in the closure of the Manchester Arena box office. It would appear as though we have become so accustomed to a system in which ‘heavy traffic’ causes a website to crash, that now we are quite prepared to transfer our online problems onto the real world and just cancel the sales because more people than expected turned up.

It would be easy to lay all the blame with the modern day sales systems and yet, as far as solutions go, I can’t think of many. Perhaps stricter legislation regarding ticket re-sales would have an impact? Perhaps they should limit the number of tickets per buyer to a measly 2 or 3? Perhaps they should just throw the tickets into the street and allow people to fight for them? The fact is that no matter what system we use, people will find their way around it. Some that ‘deserve’ tickets won’t get them and opportunists will always pop up to make a profit. This isn’t a case of ‘don’t hate the player; hate the game’, this is a case of hate them both.

May the Best Band Win. Live Review: Valefest 2013 Battle of the Bands Laura Hand Music Critic

On 22nd February, the masses assembled at Selly Oak’s finest - The Bristol Pear - to witness the battle of the bands event on everyone’s lips, hosted by the one and only Vale Fest. Surrounded by banners and bunting, the crowd gathered and the drinks flowed whilst an excited buzz filled the air. Tensions were high as bands nervously eyed up their competition. And with good reason – each and every one performed outstandingly.

First up: UoB’s very own Tiwari&Jon-T. With influences including the likes of Amy Winehouse and Billy Joel, this act was bound to impress. The duo boasted intricate harmonies, executed perfectly over powerful synths. Crowd pleasing covers such as Macklemore’s ‘Thrift Shop’ and Beyoncé’s ‘Beautiful Nightmare’ demanded the audience’s attention and induced plenty of excited clapping along. But Tiwari&Jon-T talent goes beyond an ability to perform covers – they also showcased a selection of impressive original songs. Powerful vocals and striking chords made for an enjoyable and

gripping first act.

Introduced by a compère who could rival Michael McIntyre or John Bishop, Samuel Walter took to the stage. This was a welcome slow-down in pace, as Walter vulnerably sang his stripped back numbers shielded only by his acoustic guitar. The lyric ‘a simple lad like me’ perhaps captures the essence of Walter’s performance. Not one to be afraid of showing emotion, Walter was just as interesting to watch as he was to listen to.

The crowd encouraged Walter’s folk-like crooning with foot stomping and cheers.

Next up, the comedians of the night: Tom and Jimmy. An unlikely duo, divided in influences: Nas versus Blur. However this made for an exciting mash-up of guitars and beatboxing with renditions from Gorillaz’ ‘Feel Good Inc.’ to a slightly cynical take on Justin Timberlake. Joking and imitating Beyoncé in their dancing, Tom and Jimmy came across as likeable characters, giving their music that extra edge. Everyone loves a sing-along and their closing song, Just Jack’s

‘Stars in Their Eyes’, went down a treat.

Isabelle, James and Brad were quietly confident and performed an array of chilledout tracks. Quiet, yes, but not dull. Isabelle’s vocals were the talking-point of this act – a Florence in the waiting, her effortlessly powerful voice created a casually cool vibe.

Conversation lulled as the trio demanded attention and exhibited a flawless performance.

The penultimate act, Alex Rainsford, would not have sounded out of place at Birmingham’s O2 Academy. Rainsford’s Kings of Leon-esque voice perfectly complemented his natural ability to play guitar.

‘You make me feel like the one’, an excited and by now more-than-tipsy crowd sang along to Stereophonics’ feel-good track ‘Dakota’. Flipping his blonde locks whilst fans danced to a Mumford and Sons cover, Rainsford smugly wrapped up his performance and unashamedly trawled through the crowd promoting himself with leaflets that suggest he knew he was going to be a hit.

To end the night, Roo Frith slowed the pace down yet again. Over the self-defeating ‘shhh’s that arose from the crowd, Roo’s voice was delicate and raw. Having mastered the guitar and nailed some heartfelt songs, this UoB student is a fine example of untapped singer-songwriter potential.

After much contemplation the voting slips were counted and the deserved winners were revealed: Tiwari&Jon-T. A great night for everyone and a space at Vale Fest 2013 for the talented duo.

For more information and pictures of the night, check out the Facebook page or visit www.valefest.co.uk

www.redbrick.me/music 19

Live Review: Cyril Hahn @ Bull's Head Recently, Cyril Hahn has become huge.

The Bull’s Head in Moseley, however, remains tiny. When the two met on Wednesday, magic happened, dreams were realised and an already incredible club night got a little bit bigger.

Freshly signed to PMR (label of Disclosure, Jessie Ware and T Williams), Cyril Hahn has become the recent reigning champion of the remix. His midas touch has reached out and grabbed some of the fiercest bitches around and has stripped them down (cheeky), relaxed them a bit and turned even the biggest divas into chilled, dancefloor ready anthems. His version of ‘Say My Name’ by Destiny’s Child has had over three million hits on YouTube, and he’s since gone on to reappropriate Solange, Jessie Ware and Haim.

Hats off to Le Lieu, then, who managed to squire Cyril Hahn and put him in the one of the smallest venues of his European tour.

Putting on parties every month, they’ve had the likes of Jacques Green and George Fitzgerald already play for them, complete with a talented bunch of residents to warm up their headliners. Tickets for the 27th went in less than half a day, and even arriving to buy tickets on the door seemed without promise as plenty of people were forced to stay and drink downstairs as Cyril played overhead.

Starting at 12am and continuing to pull out a two hour set, Hahn kicked off with his Mariah Carey remix of ‘Touch My Body’, getting the cramped and already hyped crowd whipped up for two hours of electro, house and a little smidgen of techno.

Sporadically dropping his hits throughout

Tamara Roper The One That Got Away

@tamara_r

Album Review: Hurts - Exile Jay Crosbie Music Critic

@JayDaHousecat

Cast your mind back to nearly 3 years ago, when a small Mancunian band called Hurts, who indulged heavily in their more dramatic emotions, released a single called 'Better Than Love', a four and a half minute 80s throwback. To put it candidly, the song was a sumptuous pop knockout, with Hutchcraft's histrionic vocals only adding another dimension to an already sultry single. Hurts built a small back catalogue of solid live performances, until they finally released their debut LP Happiness. It was a disappointment. Nothing on the LP could even begin to compete with their masterwork, 'Better Than Love' - everything just fell by the wayside.

Two and half years have passed since their debut, and they've seemingly exiled themselves from the pop sphere to work and write. This leads us nicely to their sophomore effort Exile. However, their ostracism from the public eye hasn't proven to be the best remedy, they've over thought things and their sophomore effort suffers deeply because of it.

Whilst Happiness opened promisingly with 'Silver Lining', Exile opens with the title track, which is an inadequate single, even for Hurts. It has the aura of 2nd Law esque Muse whilst simultaneously sounding incongruous to anything on that album; it sounds like Hurts are parodying themselves. Hutchcraft's falsetto reeks of

Bellamy to the point where it becomes almost a lazy imitation. But things continue to get weirder from here.

The track 'Sandman' contains what can only be described as an obnoxiously hip hop instrumental that feels like Ludacris should have a rap intro to open the track. If that didn't induce enough second hand embarrassment, lyrically the song is one clanger after another before it peaks with a weird moment of gospel harmony. The whole things attempts to walk the line between experimental song making and down right stupidity, falling into the latter category almost without trying. I don't even know what 'Sandman' was Hurts' attempt at, it's that much of a misfire.

'This is a band who want to throw their dramatic weight around ' The rest of the album follows suit, lyrically being characterised by amateur thespianism before the album ends with 'Help', which, whilst filled with emotive pianos, strings and once again gospel choirs, feels ultimately empty and hollowed inside.

Maybe that's the real fault with Exile: there's nothing poignant here, there's no real emotions, this doesn't feel like a band who want to sing about emotional ghosts that still haunt them, this is a band who want to throw their dramatic weight around and it all feels distasteful.

Hurts should have been focusing on mastering what made 'Better Than Love' such a great single, but instead they've gone off and shoehorned every dramatic influence they've ever enjoyed into a scattergun and fired away. It's an........................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ...........................................

the set, Hahn’s technical abilities and selecting matched what the crowd wanted exactly: he may be relatively new to the game but he’s already winning at it. The music stopped for a solid two minutes as his soundcard crashed but he coped with the silence, chanting and screaming “play it on YouTube” like a pro, calmly getting his shit together and proceeding on like a trooper. The end of the set saw the inevitable playing of ‘Say My Name’: the Bull’s Head became a football pitch as everyone on the dancefloor, stage and undoubtedly downstairs went mad for the song that they’d probably all come out to groove to.

'He may be relatively new to the game but he's already winning at it' Gracious and incredibly cool, Cyril Hahn shook hands and posed for photos when the gig finished, and, sweaty and reeling, everyone poured out onto Moseley High street after a night that won’t be forgotten for a while. Those who had got in will soon be able to gloat and say they saw Cyril Hahn play in a venue so intimate it almost burst on his first big tour of what will undoubtedly be an incredible 2013.

Le Lieu can pride themselves on putting on an incredible sell out show.

20| 8th-14th March 2013 @RedbrickFood

Is the UK the 'Fat Man' of Europe?

Millie Walker Food Writer With the Olympic legacy getting stale, New Year’s resolutions lying forgotten at the back of the fridge and the ‘I’ve given it up for lent’ promises starting to sour, are we ever going to win the war against our waistlines?

Before we get started, I feel I should make one thing clear: this article is 100 per cent diet free. Not one horsel, sorry morsel, of diet jargon will be found between these paragraphs. We’ve seen enough ‘cabbage soup slimmers’ and Hollywood health plans to last us a life time, yet according to recent information published by the British Dietary Association, we’ve eaten our way to the top spot of Europe’s fat-file with two thirds of our adults overweight and a quarter obese.

My theory behind our achievement can

be summed up in two words: bad attitude. If we take a moment to analyse the BDA’s new ten point plan for whisking away the obesity crisis, we find emphasis on ‘training’, ‘education’ and ‘standards’ in relation to advertising and food labels. These aren’t suggestions for ‘trying one weird trick to reduce belly fat’, but moves to change the way the general public think about food.

In order to ascertain why we reached ‘Fat Man’ status, I set out to discover how the rest of Europe is staying slim. Basic preju-

dice tells me that the French are renowned for their pastries, the Spanish eat enough at lunch to necessitate napping in the afternoon, the Italians live on pasta and ice cream and the Germans eat cheese for breakfast... so how on earth are they staying light while we go soggy in the middle? Playing heavily to stereotypical menus from different countries, I gathered some basic statistics; colour coordinated the best (green) and worst (red) and laid them out on the dining table in the hope of seeing exactly where we were going

What we really need to do is get a new attitude to the way we view food

With this hurried lifestyle we rely on sugar rushes to keep us awake at our desk

wrong. As you can see however, my mathematical meal was less than satisfactory. The results do not give a clear indication that a typical British diet contains more calories than that of other European nations.

Which brings me back to the idea of attitude. In a world of deadlines and ‘Drive Thru’s’, rush hours and ready meals, the average British adult sets aside 39 minutes a day to eat. That’s seven minutes and twenty seconds to cram in cereal at breakfast, twelve minutes and forty seconds to scoff a sandwich at lunch and a slightly more relaxed nineteen minutes to take delight in dinner.

With this hurried lifestyle we rely on sugar rushes to keep us awake at our desks and make excuses for eating fast food by skipping breakfast. Our ‘stereotypical’ daily meal plan resembles the drop down menu of www.hungryhouse.co.uk rather than the one in my table. Weeks of desperate dieting are balanced with weeks of binge eating, takeaway meals in front of the television are standard and supermarket offers on junk food are just too tempting for the pinched pockets of the recession. The BDA can easily be accused of recommending solutions that are near-impossible to act upon such as ‘reducing the proximity of fast food outlets to schools... and other places where children gather’, but they do raise issues of education and also nutritional standards in government funded organisations. If people are aware of what they’re eating and develop a healthier mentality towards food, the binging and snacking should start to fade from our culture. Laws have already been put in place to ensure food packaging contains nutritional information and there are proposals for a 20 per cent tax on sugary drinks. If, in addition, there could be more government subsidies on fruit and vegetables, the ‘Fat Man’ may find himself shedding the pounds as people are forced to take notice of what they’re actually eating.

We may mock the siesta and feign horror at pain au chocolats for breakfast, but in doing so we miss the crucial element of European eating habits – they take pride and enjoyment in their food. Maybe we Brits ought to do more exercise, we definitely ought to stop binge drinking and if you’re reading this knowing that you eat a Full English Breakfast every day, I’d recommend seeking medical attention for your cholesterol levels. But what we really need to do is get a new attitude to the way we view food.

Personally, if that means taking an European outlook on life and cooking with my housemates instead of drawing straws for who’s walking to Roosters, or taking time out from studying to eat lunch so that I don’t fall asleep in the library and find myself on Spotted, I’m more than up for donning a sombrero, drinking lager at lunch and having gorgonzola with my croissants.

www.redbrick.me /food | 21

A Look at Europe's Menus Breakfast Croissant and Coffee

Lunch French Soup and Bread

Dinner Beef Bourguignon and Mashed Potato

Drinks

Total Calories

250ml Red Wine

1276

233 Calories Bread Roll and Hot Chocolate

290 Calories Chicken Caesar Salad

583 Calories Spaghetti Carbonara

170 Calories Martini

1561

229 Calories Fruit Salad and Orange Juice

440 Calories Fish, Potatoes and Salad

702 Calories

190 Calories

Paella

250ml Sangria

1350

194 Calories

466 Calories

500 Calories

190 Calories

Ham, Cheese, Bread

Potato Salad

Hotdog

Pint of Becks

1900

732 Calories

245 Calories

Full English Breakfast

BLT Sandwich

245 Calories Bangers and Mash

226 Calories Large Gin and Tonic

1789

800 Calories

349 Calories

480 Calories

160 Calories

Aldi Coco Hoops with Milk

Heinz Tomato Soup and a Slice of Bread

Aldi Four Cheese Pizza

Vodka and Lemonade 1421

247 Calories

210 Calories

300 Calories

108 Calories

22 | 8th - 14th March 2013

'Jimmy was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.'

@RedbrickFilm

Henry Hill Goodfellas (1990)

TopThree

Newsreel JOHNATHAN FAGG Critic

Alice Weleminsky-Smith gives us the school comedies that top the class #1 School of Rock

#2 Mean Girls

#3 Easy A

There aren’t many people I’d rather have as my teacher than Jack Black. The kids in School of Rock get to goof off, oh I’m sorry, 'create musical fusion' all day long, listen to music for homework, and then tell their teacher that he is 'fat and has body odour' without getting told off.

They then also happen to become an awesome rock band in about a month. And they’re 10!

Life is just not fair.

Truly the Queen Bee of high school movies, Tina Fey’s genius creation is the best thing since toaster strudel and, as demonstrated below, is probably the most quotable film of all time. This film is so totally fetch – it’s sorry that all other movies are jealous of it but it just can’t help being so popular. It like invented the high school movie, know what I mean? Four for you Mean Girls, you go Mean Girls!

Although it hasn’t been out for very long, this film is certainly set to become a classic. The fartoo-fantastic Emma Stone plays quirky high schooler Olive, who pretends to lose her virginity to a guy who is pretending not to be gay so that they both look cooler at school. Luckily for us, this goes hilariously not to plan in what is arguably one of the cleverest high school comedies made in recent years.

FilmReviews

Stoker TOM LOFKIN Film Editor

OutNow

Release Date: 1st March 2013 Director: Park Chan-wook Cast: Nicole Kidman, Mia Wasikowska, Matthew Goode Do not go to see Stoker. This new horror (a term being used very loosely here) marks Korean filmmaker Park Chan-wook’s English language debut, previously having made several great examples of South Korean cinema such as Oldboy and Thirst. These films show Park to be a very versatile and capable director, of which there is no question. However, his latest film is an unusual and grave misstep in an otherwise strong filmography.

Stoker tells the story of a young girl (Mia Wasikowska) mourning the loss of her father, who dies in a tragic 'accident', while also struggling to cope with her cold and volatile mother (Nicole Kidman). As if their situation wasn't difficult enough, along comes the enigmatic Uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode), the dead father’s long lost brother, who proceeds to seduce both of the women while executing a sinister plan of his own.

Be warned though, this summary makes the plot sound far more interesting than it actually is. The narrative makes no sense, and drags along at a snail’s pace, combined with unnecessary Freudian imagery shoehorned in an attempt to make all the painfully long camera shots look ‘arty.’ The performances lack emotion, meaning the film has no energy at all. Stoker’s biggest crime is that it is boring.

With a paper-thin plot which has neither rhyme nor reason, further degraded by bland, sterile performances from actors who constantly look like they would rather be somewhere else, Stoker is a steaming pile of pretentious muck.

Impressed by how Jennifer Lawrence looked in Silver Linings Playbook? Someone certainly was, as the clothes she wore during her Oscar winning performance have just sold at auction for $12,000 after an intense bidding war. Nate D Sanders of the Nate D Sanders Auction House, stated, 'The whole world seems to be captivated by Jennifer Lawrence.'

In light of recent newsregarding piracy, the Film Distributors Association has taken to paying cinema staff who manage to stop pirates from recording films within theatres.

As of yet, thirteen ushers have been paid sums of up to £700 each, with thousands paid out in total. Of the twelve incidents so far reported, half took place during screenings of Skyfall.

To The Wonder MEGAN JONES Life & Style Online Editor Release Date: 22nd February 2013 Director: Terrence Malick Cast: Ben Affleck, Olga Kurylenko, Javier Bardem Just 18 months after The Tree of Life, Malick’s creative spark is still alight as he delivers another artistic portrayal of the world. Instead of the meaning of life and its creation, he focuses of the meaning of love; from its birth, through its wonder and to its death.

Affleck and Kurylenko, whose characters' names are never mentioned in the film, move their blissful Parisian relationship to the bare surroundings of Oklahoma, where cornfields are aplenty for Kurylenko to swirl around in. Their bond is questioned by Affleck’s former American sweetheart (Rachel McAdams) who, despite what the posters may suggest, has a fleeting but impressive presence, as does Javier Bardem's priest who struggles with his spirituality.

To The Wonder is a film of beauty, which works both in its favour and as its downfall. The breathtaking visuals of The Tree of Life are revived by cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki, whose expertise manages to make a petrol station and a bleak American landscape as aesthetic as the streets of Paris. It is easy to be swept away by Malick’s visual poetry with the film’s ethereal camerawork and Kurylenko’s lyrical French voiceover, but after an hour or so, the enigmatic plot becomes tiresome and riddled with unwelcome romantic clichés. The potential of a masterful piece of filmmaking is here, had the characters’ musings been accompanied with more dialogue and a more original story. That said, Malick’s ability to captivate, and sometimes divide, the audience through art and thought is incomparable.

Fans of Middle Earth will be disappointed to hear that the third film in Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy, The Hobbit: There and Back Again, has had its release date pushed back from the summer of 2014.

Now opening on the 17th of December, 2014, this means that the release dates of the Hobbit trilogy now reflect those of the director's previous Lord of the Rings trilogy.

www.redbrick.me/film | 23

Creature Featureless: Have monster movies lost their edge?

Patrick McAteer argues that recent films have sold their souls to CGI The face of modern cinema is defined by computer-generated imagery. From the fluffiest RomCom to the most harrowing of horror films, modern movies are constantly retouched and altered using computers, ostensibly allowing a director to bring the purest version of their vision of a film to life. Unfortunately, this has resulted in an almost universal over-reliance upon computer wizardry to create required special effects, which is a shame because it was not always so easy to make the impossible a reality on screen.

In 1933 the most visually arresting film of the day was King Kong, a monster adventure film that revolutionised action cinema.

The titular character was created using stop motion animation by pioneering special effects wizard Willis O’Brien who had also created the infamous dinosaur fight of 1925’s The Lost World. The stop motion animation that brought King Kong to life was a tedious process involving the gradual manipulation of a model which was then filmed frame by frame to give the illusion of movement.

The final result was a revelation to cinema-goers at the time, though admittedly to modern eyes Kong’s gait is stuttering and unnatural. But however strangely the giant ape walks, the existence of a physical model used in filming gives Kong a sense of weight and impact which was found lacking in the presentation of the same character in Peter Jackson’s 2005 remake. For all the technical wizardry available to Jackson, the modern King Kong simply couldn’t measure up to his 1930s counterpart in thrills or chills because he was rendered entirely on a computer.

But stop motion animation is just one of the practical ways special effects can be created for cinema. One film which benefitted greatly from actual on-set models was John Carpenter’s The Thing from 1982. The film was an unapologetic 'creature feature'; a movie which sought to shock, scare and disgust its audience. The grisly models used in The Thing are widely considered to be some of the most grotesque cinematic creations in history, bringing to life a shape shifting, assimilating monster from another world which left viewers reeling from what was described on movie posters as 'The Ultimate in Alien Terror'. Like King Kong, The Thing recently received a modern update, this time in the form of a prequel film from 2011 with the same name. Predictably the creature effects of the remake are computer generated and as such move faster, do more damage and are physically larger than their eighties counterparts, as you would expect from CGI effects which do not limit the imagination.

But for all of that, the modern Thing

is far less scary than its early eighties predecessor because of the human eye’s natural ability to detect fakery. What was so gloriously disgusting about The Thing was its practicality; the spectacle of a disembodied human head sprouting insect legs and scuttling off like a spider was made all the more horrifying because it was an actual physical object powered by a motor and wires. All the revolting textures and glistening gore of a half-human, half dog monster were brought to life by a hand-made model that stood eight feet high and was coated in dyed K Y Jelly - no matter the imagination and scope of a computer, CGI simply can’t compete with that.

And this problem is not limited to just stop motion animation and physical models. Recent Die Hard films have lost their grit because the explosions, gunfire and blood spatter are all added digitally in post-production. George Lucas found out to the detriment of his Star Wars prequel films that whole environments rendered on a computer appear cartoonish. Unlike in the modern King Kong, Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings films found a nice balance: blending extensive practical effects with CGI, creating armies of Orcs on a computer screen but placing them on a background of model miniatures, crafted and painted by human hands.

In making modern movies, sophisticated CGI is cheap, quick and easy, but cinematic quality never will be. It is practical effects, crafted with love and care by people who understand what cinema is really about that makes movies magic. It’s ironic then that the most horrible of monsters, the biggest battles and the strangest of alien worlds all require a more human touch than a computer can provide.

24| 8th- 14th March 2013 @Redbrick @RedbrickTV

Have You Seen...

Black Mirror Comedian and presenter Charlie Brooker is known for his acerbic one liners, but his new series scrutinises justice, politics and romance Daisy Follet TV Editor

daisyspace

If you’ve caught some of Charlie Brooker's previous TV (Screenwipe, 10 O’clock Live, You Have Been Watching) then you might be expecting something funny from this permanently pessimistic comedian.

However, those who watched the first series will know this is not exactly the case with Black Mirror. For anyone who missed it last time, Black Mirror consists of three completely unconnected episodes, each one addressing and deconstructing a different area of modern life. It’s creepy, thrilling, and often makes you quite concerned for Charlie Brooker's mental state.

This series was creepier than the last, and I think it’s because none of the episodes felt too impossible. In 'Be Right Back', for example, a woman who has lost her husband finds comfort in a piece of computer software that analyses all his tweets and Facebook posts and is then able to talk to her in the style he would have done, expressing the same opinions and using the same figures of speech.

Shocking as this is, it’s the kind of thing you can imagine getting an app for in the not too distant future.

It’s obvious there’s an underlying message to each episode. Charlie Brooker is trying to make a point or provide a critique on something - it just takes a bit of time to get a handle on what. The second episode in particular, 'White Bear', is unclear in terms of the 'point', but it’ll

certainly start a discussion. The most thrilling of the three, it follows a woman being chased, in broad daylight, by a terrifying gang of killers. However, those around her seem completely unmoved, more concerned to film the spectacle on their phones than jump to her rescue. This episode is worth watching for the twist, and the debate that’ll undoubtedly follow.

Black Mirror consists of three completely unconnected episodes, each one addressing and deconstructing a different area of modern life. It’s creepy, thrilling, and often makes you quite concerned for Charlie Brooker's mental state.

The good thing about Black Mirror is that there’s nothing else on TV like it, each episode is totally unique and you never know what to expect. While it can be too disturbing for some viewers, it is praised by others.

This Week's Top TV News.

2.6m

If you’ve never watched Black Mirror before, the final episode 'The Waldo Moment' is a nice gentle introduction. The least messed-up episode of the three, it’s basically about a ridiculous cartoon bear that stands in an election, and does rather well. Charlie himself has said that Boris Johnson was part of the inspiration for this particular storyline.

The good thing about Black Mirror is that there’s nothing else on TV like it; each episode is totally unique and you never know what to expect. While it’s no doubt a bit too disturbing for some viewers, it’s also been covered in praise by others. Last year it won an international Emmy for best TV mini-series, and the rights to one of the episodes have been bought by Robert Downey Jr. with the intention of developing it into a film. You might love it, you might just be left with a feeling a confusion - either way it’s worth a watch.

Cowell's latest venture Food Glorious Food flopped on Wednesday with a shocking low of 2.6 million viewers, less than half the expected number for a prime time 8pm slot. Even Carol Vorderman's 'rear of the year' failed to pull in viewers leaving Cowell's newest show rather less than glorious.

www.redbrick.me/tv | 25

Heading Out

Russell Webb TV Editor

@rwebb92

If I were to tell you that the BBC has a new sitcom driven by a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis, would you be interested? How about if I were to tell you that this woman was played by comedienne Sue Perkins and that the sitcom was also written by her? It doesn’t sound too bad and that is just how the first episode comes across...not too bad.

We are introduced to Sara, the head vet at her surgery. Despite this position which means that she gets the nice' animals that don’t smell or look like they’re going to bite, she still gets some difficult customers such as the owner of a dying cat at the start of this episode. Sara suggests putting the cat to sleep, which is originally agreed upon, but then revoked, only after she had

Charlotte Goodwin TV Editor

@C_E_Goodwin

Yes, yet another cookery show has invaded an already crowded television schedule filled with food programmes. To take a positive view of the show, it certainly has the format of The Great British Bake Off meets The X Factor - inevitably because it has Simon Cowell behind it. Fronting the show is self-confessed undomesticated, mathematical whizz, Carol Vorderman, and she does have an air of Nigella Lawson about her, just without the cooking talent.

Alongside Vorderman, Loyd Grossman is the main judge on the show, and a man who can cook, selling over one billion jars of his famous sauces. Even with all these famous names behind the show, you just cannot watch it without thinking it just isn’t to the standard of the much-loved Bake Off. While Carol has never seemed to have left our television screens, Loyd has taken a break since fronting MasterChef for ten years from 1990. It becomes clear in the show he does not like the new direction cookery shows are going in, as they are becoming very technical and almost alienating to the public, and instead loves the show’s focus on home cooking. The format

Corrie fans around the country will be celebrating this week on the return of the well loved character 'Curly Watts' played by Kevin Kennedy. The hapless supermarket assistant manager returned to our screens on Monday 4th March. After a 20 year career at Coronation Street, Kennedy was finally written out in 2003. Since his exit he has dabbled in the West End, appearing in We Will Rock You.

administered the first of two injections.

The owner is distraught and refuses to deal with the funeral arrangements, leaving Sara to carry around the dead cat in her handbag on her fortieth birthday.

The first episode revolves around Sara hitting the big four-O and the state of her life at this time.

It is revealed very quickly that Sara is a lesbian, but she has failed to tell her parents who still think that she is straight. They arrange to meet with Sara and her new ‘boyfriend’ Michelle who is a prosthetic leg salesman.

Perkins writes for the awkward moments in life, but also for the

surreal events that happen.

Perhaps the funniest moment of the episode is the netball match that Sara partakes in. The team that she plays for are clearly not any good and are faced with an opposition who do their own, unique version of the haka dance. We then return to t h e realm of a w k wardness as Sara gets sent off for foul play, leaves the hall and then has to return for her bag and dog, squeaking across the hall the whole time.

The culminating event is Sara’s (notso) surprise birthday party where she experiences a further awkward moment as her former lover and prospective new lover are engaged in a conversation which leads to the revelation that Sara is in fact a vet and not 'a globe-trotting advertising guru'. It is these sort of lies that prompt her friends to hire her a life coach who will (conveniently) work with her over the next five weeks towards the goal of coming out to her parents.

Perkins’ writing does not produce belly laughs but it is, however, engaging as a concept, and there is definitely scope for some funny moments in the proceeding five weeks. The big question is, will Sara be able to finally admit that she is gay?

Food Glorious Food of finding an ordinary cook’s winning dish certainly had the aim of becoming a commercial winner. And this winner will walk away with £20,000 with their dish being sold at Marks and Spencer.

It is evident that there has been a lot of Simon’s input, without him ever appearing on the screen! Contestants’ back-stories are shown about how their dishes were made, including one lady who had lost three stone by swimming in a river where the salmon

for her dish came from. This first episode begins in Malvern, for the Wales and Midlands heat, but will continue in the following weeks to scour the land for a dish the nation will fall in love with.

Alongside Loyd, there are three more passionate food judges: Women’s Institute leader Anne Harrison, MasterChef finalist Stacie Stewart and food writer Tom ParkerBowles, who say they are not looking for the next super chef, just someone who can

Downton Abbey loses yet another character at the begining of series four. Siobhan Finneran, who plays Lady Grantham's cunning maid Sarah O'Brien has revealed that she will no longer be a member of the Downton cast. However, her exit will not appear on screen and unlike some of the other recent exits Finneran's character will not be killed off, leaving the possibility of the return of her infamous character.

cook a special meal. Every dish that impresses them receives a rosette and the dishes really do have to be good to receive one of these.

One woman creates an interesting, to say the least, meal made of sausages in milk, which tough-talking Anne told the cook was 'ghastly'. The weird dishes did not stop there with Loyd describing a Siberian meal as a 'super suuuper suuuper great dishhh', with pheasant and fermented cabbage cooked over an open fire, and actually braised by her feet, yes feet – couldn’t this be a problem bringing it to the mass market? Further mad contestants appear with a mother and son who come in Victorian costume from their Victorian tea shop, with a fruit cake lacking in fruit.

Stacey is looking for a new take on a classic dish, but no puddings were rising to the occasion. That is until the students from Star Bistro come along. The students from the Bistro for disabled young people were rightly optimistic about their dish, of a summer fruit jelly with Pimms, which won this regional round.

Political commentator Andrew Marr has finally left hospital after a two month stay following a stroke in early January. Despite his absence his shows have continued as normal with a series of stand-in presenters. Marr is now well on the mend and has revealed that he hopes to return to work later this year.

26 | 8th - 14th March 2013 @Redbrick @RedbrickTravel

Hangover Madrid.

"Spain has to be the most infamous European nation for its late night partying, heavy cocktail drinking, and constant fiesta lifestyle; our inebriated evenings and eurgh-tastic mornings were just Spain’s way of telling us we were doing it right, right?"

Chloe Osborne Travel Editor

The hangover holiday. We’ve all done it; that glorious cultural weekend break that we had planned to have has instead turned into three days of skulking around in cafés and glugging water in the corners of art galleries, sunglasses on, to try and combat the hellish repercussions of the previous night’s heavy drinking. A recent trip to Madrid was characterised as such, and what can I say? Spain has to be the most infamous European nation for its late night partying, heavy cocktail drinking, and constant fiesta lifestyle; our inebriated evenings and eurgh-tastic mornings were just Spain’s way of telling us we were doing it right, right?

Either way, having a skull-shattering hangover when you’re on a minibreak is a bit of a nightmare. You still feel obligated to get up for the prepaid breakfast, drag your sorry ass around the sights, see some things, try some local cuisine, and keep taking deep breaths to ward off dizziness.

Luckily, Madrid is a really fabulous city in which to join the throngs of locals and ward off your hangover together. The Spanish as a nation are wonderful at this, and in the capital city they really do provide everything you could need to keep you going through a day of the horrors. Let’s start with the food and drink. Hair of the dog is a well-accepted hangover cure, and with Madrid’s cheap and plentiful tabernas and tapas bars, you will easily find an environment that will sooth your head and refresh you for the day.

Ordering a “caña” is always a safe bet, and you will be brought a glass of beer and a small “tapas”; a small taster dish of whatever the house is serving specially. As with most cities, it’s easy in Madrid to determine the costliness of the bar or café by location; having a caña on the Plaza Mayor for example will probably cost you around €5.

Madrid is not, however, like other European cities, in that there are always unbelievably cheap options, many just off the side streets of major tourist sites. Our favourite of these, down a parallel street to the one running between Sol and Opera sold cañas to throngs of standing locals, tapas

included, for merely 70 cents. Perfect fuel for the astute, hanging student.

Madrid is architecturally beautiful, filled with green parks, and very easy to tackle on foot. A great place to spend a recovery day is the Parque del Buen Retiro, a huge complex of gorgeous parks, lakes and royal buildings that until the end of the 19th century played host to much of Europe’s monarchic élite. This is true cultural travel porn (Google images will show you why), but trawling through the stately manors and nearby Museo del Prado isn’t vital to enjoy the complex, particularly if you’re anything like me and value constant access to bins or bushes when the sangria looks like it might make a reappearance.

As with most large cities, Madrid is packed with endless streets of beautiful buildings mentioned nowhere in the guide books, but really worth a look at in themselves. A ramble through any of the city’s regions in the midafternoon will allow you to clear your head, and experience stunning modern and traditional architecture from the medieval past to the recent Franco regime. A trawl with a guide, or even an iPhone, through the city is enough of a tour in itself, particularly if you’re gagging for fresh air and a variety of coffee shops, beer bars and churros stands. But if you fancy focusing your booze-frazzled brain on something in particular, and if you, like me, just frickin’ love looking at flamingos, then the Madrid Zoo and Aqua Land on the outskirts of the city is a mega must-do.

What’s not to love? It’s a huge park filled with animals from all around the world, in enclosures that are so open, you can literally lean over the bars of an animal enclosure, and have a chat to an elephant (if you’re still drunk, and think he looks chatty). The zoo has a really amazing range of animals, including a giant panda that sits and stares and eats bamboo all day. It also has a monkey enclosure filled with red bottomed baboons that can provide literally a whole afternoon's worth of entertainment to someone with a sore head looking for a bit of easy watching.

The aquarium hosts a huge array of different species, including the always

popular sharks and jelly fish, and other bizarre varieties that swim around and pop bubbles at you as you giggle through your hangover haze at puffy lipped blow fish and eels that stick their heads in the sand, ostrich-like.

The zoo is really worth a whole half day (I recommend morning as it gets busy in the afternoon, and you might by then be feeling sick and need a siesta). You can round off the experience with the dolphin show; far superior in my view to that of Florida or Universal Studios, as the trainers don’t try to explain what they are doing, they just get on with it and make the dolphins do cool tricks.

If a day at the zoo isn’t what you came to Madrid for (understandable if so, although really, you are missing out), and you fancy a bit of culture to sooth your banging head, the Caixa Forum gallery is worth a trip, combining cool art with outdoor frescoes, and a chilled out vibe that you will appreciate after a big night out. It also has a climbing wall in the garden. Enough said. Another huge recommendation would have to be to go and see a flamenco or traditional Spanish guitar show. These shows change location frequently, but a good one to try would have to be the Casa Patas, a long running flamenco show that is worth the hype, and is reasonably priced.

Finally, after your day of tentative exploration, it must surely be time to do the whole thing again. Bed time in Madrid is impossible and impractical any time before at least 2am, but if you don’t fancy clubbing or heavy bar drinking, a true Madrid tradition might lead you by the hand to the Chocolateria San Gines off the Plaza del Sol. This is the place to eat churros, frequented as the walls will show by stars from Clinton to Borat, and open from 8am til 6.30am (yes, AM) every day. They bung out churros and thick Spanish hot chocolate by the gallon, and serve it as cheaply as a street vendor to customers in their beautiful mirrored deli, all day and almost all night. It is certainly worth a visit, if you’re a chocolate fiend or not.

So voilà, Madrid’s top hangover haunts. Hopefully enough to keep any traveller chilled out the day after the night out. Enjoy!

www.redbrick.me/travel | 27

Tamara Silver Travel Writer

At the end of reading week, I was lucky enough to go on the University’s History Society trip to Paris, a weekend I will never forget. Paris is the city of romance, and upon arrival it’s hard not to fall in love with the place.

Arriving by coach at 11am on the Friday morning, we had just 48 hours to explore France’s bustling capital.

There was no way that we were going to see all of what the city had to offer in two days, so we opted to go for the highlights as it would be an outrage to return to Selly without several hundred pictures of the Eiffel Tower.

When visiting a European city as a student, it is likely you’re going to want to go out clubbing at least one night and see how the locals party. As a group of 37 students, we were no exception and one of our nights was spent on a bar crawl in Montmartre, Paris’s red light district and home to the world-famous Moulin Rouge. To write about the evening would be difficult, because very few people remember much due to the copiously alcoholic French drinks, typically 3/4 vodka, 1/4 coke.

But even with a hangover, there is too much to do and see in Paris not to go out every day that you’re there and explore. Below is a short guide on how to get the most out of your time in this incredible city, whilst recovering from the night before.

If someone asked you to go to the Eiffel Tower hungover, you would

probably envision yourself standing at the top feeling nauseous, but there is a way to manage it. If you’re feeling very fragile, then the parks around the tower are lovely to walk around, and an excellent photo opportunity. For the more adventurous, you can walk up to the first level of the tower without queuing for too long, and even for me, as someone who is scared of heights, it’s really not too high.

They say fresh air cures most ailments, and what could be better for a hangover than walking along the banks of the River Seine. The main point of navigation in the city, the river takes you on a flat, walking tour past many of Paris’s most beautiful buildings such as the Grand Palais, one of the most iconic buildings in the city.

Another option, if you’re blessed with nice weather, is to head to the beautiful Jardin du Luxembourg near St. Germain and have a picnic. This is the perfect place for people watching, trying to stomach some exotic local cheese and lazing by the large central fountain. It is also a great alternative to an expensive lunch.

If the weather is turning more British, and the skies are grey, the city has no shortage of amazing museums that you could spend days wandering around to cure your aching head. The obvious choices are the Pompidou Centre (although beware of huge queues at weekends) and the Musée D’Orsay, both of which contain plenty of benches and cafes for recovery as well as great exhibitions. A hungover student is unlikely to be unable to han-

dle the confusing layout of the Louvre and the queue for the Mona Lisa, which is worse than the queue for a Roosters on a Saturday night after Fab. If you’re looking for something slightly different, try the Museum of Cinematography, which is a dream come true for anyone interested in film.

The one site that seems to have been designed for lazy and/or hungover students is the Sacre Coeur.

Standing on a hill above Montmartre, this Romanesque church is the highest point in the city and from the top of the steps you will get stunning views.

However, the best thing is the cable car, which for a small price saves you the deathly ascent to the top of the hill.

With minimal effort involved, you will see a Paris landmark and the whole cityscape.

Finally, it would be a crime to visit France without sampling the food, so when you are feeling fully recovered, treat yourself to a crêpe. An excellent hangover cure and also the tastiest food in the city, you can choose toppings from bacon to bananas in chocolate sauce. The city is littered with pretty squares and bridges on which to savour your quintessential French snack. For those of you that want to try something different, a handful of boutique boulangeries and patisseries are hidden around the city, the most famous being the Parisian macaroon shop, Ladurée. All in all, this city is just too good to miss, even after a night out, so brave the headache and go discover what Paris has in store.

Hangover Paris.

"To write about the evening would be difficult, because very few people remember much due to the copiously alcoholic French drinks, typically 3/4 vodka, 1/4 coke. But even with a hangover, there is too much to do and see in Paris not to go out every day that you’re there."

28 | 8th - 14th March 2013

@RedbrickSport

Birmingham come from behind to book place in BUCS final

Will Siddons

@WSiddons

Women's Hockey

Birmingham 1sts

2

Exeter 1sts

1

Ellie Jones Sport Correspondent

@EllieJones_bham

Birmingham women’s 1sts faced Exeter’s 1sts in what was to be a thrilling game of hockey. In front of an excited home crowd the teams battled it out for a place in the finals in Leeds later on this month. Both teams hadn’t lost since November last year so it was set up to be an enthralling match.

The first half saw a nervous Birmingham side let a more experienced Exeter dominate in their half, with quick passing picking off the home defence. As Exeter got going a powerful flick through by captain Claire

Thomas rebounded off full back Harriet Paynes’ stick and into her own goal meaning the scoreboard read 1-0 after only two minutes.

However with still an hour left of the game Birmingham did not let that goal deter them and strong midfield action from Anna Toman, Holly Payne and captain Alice Sharp showed what the home side were really made of. Their through balls however were regularly seen off by a very tight and determined Exeter defence. The away side were confident enough to control possession from the back. Exeter threatened on the break, creating chances for Amy Sheehan and Thomas in the first half.

Most of the possession stayed with Birmingham but their long ball tactic didn’t quite pay off, with chance after chance coming and going for the girls in blue, unfortunately just missing the target or fumbling the ball for Exeter goalie Phon Burham to scoop up. These foiled efforts of the home side did

show their great balance and control especially in the midfield with the likes of Toman and Sharp making a big impact in every attacking move.

Although Birmingham found it hard to penetrate the D their defence saw off nearly every attack from Exeter’s forwards including some of their pitch length breaks.

Birmingham goalie Polly Oakham was forced to show great reflexes, saving three shots, including tough penalty corners from the opposition around the 30 minute mark. As the first half came to a close an excellent break by Toman had the crowd screaming for a goal but her pass to Olivia Chilton on the wing was just a fraction too far. The first half finished with both sides pressing and confident of getting the result.

The second half saw Birmingham come out with a bang. Shots from Toman, Chilton and Anna Griffiths all gave the opposition goalkeeper something to do. Exeter were put on the back foot from the off by an ener

gised Brum. Toman was particularly influential in the middle of the pitch, retaining possession well to build attacks. The equaliser came when a sweeping pass to Katelyn Atkinson gave room for attacker Faye Curran to run around and unleash a powerful strike into the net.

With only 15 minutes to go Birmingham’s confidence was sky high and every team member did their part to press high up the pitch. Their hard work was rewarded as a creaking Exeter defence let a Griffiths breakaway through. The attacker sent a great pass to Chilton to set herself up for Birmingham’s second and winning goal. A now deflated Exeter tried their hardest to work their way to another goal in the dying seconds but time had run out. When the final whistle blew the players celebrated a 2-1 victory with the substantial home crowd. A great turn around ended in a well-deserved and hard fought win by for this young Birmingham team, who will now look forward to the final.

www.redbrick.me/sports | 29

Brum seal title and promotion with professional performance Men's Football

Birmingham 3rds

3

Worcester 2nds

1

Tom Dodd Sport Correspondent

@TomAlexDodd

Only one word could describe the Birmingham 3rd mens football team on Wednesday evening: Champions. And after an assured 3-1 win over Worcester at the Munrow Track pitch they fully deserved such a title.

Needing all three points to confirm promotion from the Midlands 3A League, UoB controlled a scrappy game of football on a very worn playing surface to push themselves into the division above for next year, the third time the club has achieved such a feat in four years.

In a game of few clear cut chances, Birmingham fired the first warning shot when Greg Twinburn, who was impressive throughout, hit a dipping shot just over the bar from a tight angle. The away side responded by forcing two free-kicks in dangerous positions but on both occasions visiting right back Jordan Stoddart failed to get enough power behind his header to worry Eric Hathaway in the Brum goal.

With both sides struggling to get their

passing games into gear, it instead took a special strike from Kris Jenkins to open the scoring, the midfielder carrying the ball forward from the centre circle before rifling a shot past Sam Lorny in the Worcester goal from 25 yards.

The home side, who had lost their last two fixtures and three of their last four in all competitions before this encounter, quickly doubled the lead moments later when Twinburn ghosted in from the right to tuck away a neat move at the near post. Incredibly, before Worcester had even had time to re-group, Birmingham had put the game to bed after Joe Airey and Greg Shown combined down the left to set up the unmarked Charlie Hearl, who was perfectly placed to score Brums third goal in a matter of minutes.

Birmingham saw out the first half comfortably, and whilst they failed to create any more clear cut chances, they barely had to break sweat in order to keep their opponents at bay.

The second half was a quiet affair, with both Brum and Worcester failing to get the final ball accurate enough to allow an attempt

on goal and the only meaningful save of the second period came when Hathaway had to be alert to tip a bobbling effort from the edge of the 18 yard box round the post.

As the clock ticked down to Brum's triumph, the home side’s ethos of a slick passing game went out of the window as first substitute Tom Harris and then Ash Narwallanother stalwart of the Birmingham midfield- both tried speculative efforts from distance. Charlie Hearl almost did add to the scoring late on but was unlucky to see his shot rebound off the post with Lorny beaten.

In the end it was Worcester who had the final say, Jason Hadley smashing into the top corner from fully thirty yards to finally break down the Brum resistance. But it was scant consolation as the final whistle blew and Birmingham could celebrate the prospect of playing a division higher next September after a long, hard season.

Players will obviously come and go, but on the back of such a run of promotions, you wouldn’t be surprised if Birmingham Mens 3rds were challenging to get out of the Midlands 2A League one year on from now.

Men's hockey first report, continued from back page: ball from Will Martin past Danny Crowther in the Nottingham goal to double their lead. Just a minute later it looked like Birmingham had sealed their place in the final after Jackson smashed the ball down low past the defenders and ‘keeper from a penalty corner to send Brum 4-1 up.

Birmingham had one foot in the final.

But it wasn’t to be as Nottingham started the most unlikely of comebacks. Nottingham began to press forward with much more urgency, which coincided with Brum beginning to sit back, happy to protect their threegoal lead. Birmingham’s lead was cut down to two minutes later when Nottingham’s Joe Sharp managed to lose his marker on the Brum by-line and crossed it in for Sutherland to squeeze it past Paddy Smith. The opposition and their sizeable number of supporters could sense they still had a chance.

In the next ten minutes the Birmingham defence remained resolute, with captain Jackson mopping up any threat that was thrown at them by Notts. But the game was then turned on its head in a matter of minutes when Nottingham converted two short corners in two minutes to level the game. A foot in the D followed by a stick tackle gave Nottingham their chances that were both duly converted. The first, diverted in after a flick heading towards the right post from the top of the D followed minutes later by a flick deflected off of James Black’s stick which looped over the onrushing Birmingham defenders and goalkeepers. At 4-4, it was Nottingham who could sense victory and Birmingham who had to regroup and compose themselves.

Thankfully the away side began to wilt under the pressure. A yellow card for Nick Barker after a cynical shove on a Birmingham midfielder put the visitors down to ten men and made the job for much tougher. Although they did not concede, it was obvious that they were beginning to tire. A hopeful ball was hit through by Birmingham’s Mike Penny, who was a constant thorn in the side of Nottingham, and found Richard GearEvans, who drove into the D before pushing the ball into the goal from a narrow angle to give Birmingham the lead for the third time.

This time they managed to hold on, despite Nottingham being camped in the Birmingham half for the whole of the last ten minutes, A 5-4 victory was secured, and with that they will play Sheffield Hallam in the final in 12 days time. Birmingham’s coach Steve Floyd said he was ‘absolutely thrilled for the boys to play so well against high quality opposition’. Looking forward to the final he acknowledged that Sheffield Hallam would be a ‘tough opposition’ but was confident that they could finish the job off.

Birminghams Route to the final: First round: beat Cardiff Met 1sts 2-1 Quarter Finals beat Loughborough 1sts 3-2 after extra time.

Semi-Final: beat Nottingham 1sts, 5-4.

Final: vs Sheffield Hallam 1sts, 20th March at Leeds Met.

Charlotte Wilson

@Wilsonscribbles

30 | 8th - 14th March 2013

Equestrian team leap into regional finals Lily Blacksell Music Editor

@LilyBlacksell

A cold, bright day on 27th February saw the University of Birmingham equestrian A team host their competition at The South Leicestershire Riding Establishment, where the club train each week. The competition was the fourth out of four in this round, with the three previous events having been hosted at the yards of our competitors the University of Worcester, Harper Adams and University of Gloucester. Brum had managed two wins and a narrow second in these competitions respectively, so were excited at the prospect of clinching a place in the BUCS regionals later in March.

For those who are unfamiliar with how BUCS equestrian competitions work, it’s a very fair system that involves riders picking horses (provided by the hosting stables) from a hat. Everyone gets the same time to warm up before doing the same dressage test or the same round of show jumps, and as there are only four horses for the dressage and four more for the jumping, riders are judged on their ability and their effectiveness with that horse as compared to the other three people who ride it.

Birmingham got off to a very strong start in the dressage, with Lottie Kennedy quickly making her horse Merlin look like a dream ride, despite his reluctance and misbehaviour in the warm up ring. Flo Turner also managed a transformation on her quirky ride Gavin and certainly got the best dressage test from him compared to any of his other riders on the day. Lucy Cocker rode an immaculate test and, after her horse had got a few bucks out of her system, Lily Blacksell also managed what the judge described as a ‘very pleasing’ test.

After a lunch provided by UoB (definitely the best lunch of all four competitions, we were proud to note!) the show jumping phase began. Space was limited in the arena and the course was not all that easy, with lots of tight turns and short strides to deal with. As a result, poles were flying and clear rounds were few and far between. One was achieved by Lottie on the small but mighty pony Bertie, who made the twists and turns look easy. The rest of the team did not have quite such flawless rounds, with Lucy and Comet having one fence down, and Flo and Lily knocking two down on their rides Bart and Monet. Luckily we weren’t the only ones, and as a team our marks for riding and influence on the horse remained high.

Despite this, and our good dressage results, we were biting our nails when it came to counting the final scores. Harper Adams and Worcester had got a couple of clear rounds in the show jumping, and Gloucester had some very strong riders who had been consistent through the dressage and jumping phases, so we knew it would be close.

We didn’t have to hold our breaths for too long as, after counting and recounting everyone’s scores for the umpteenth time, our captain Lucy was able to announce we had won. Harper Adams came in fourth, with Worcester third and Gloucester second. Individually we managed placings of 8th for Lily, 5th for Lottie, 3rd for Flo and 2nd for Lucy. Gloucester riders Hannah Brook-Lawson and Charlotte Adderley were deservedly placed in 4th and 1st respectively, and will both be joining us at the regional competition in Moreton Morrell, Warwickshire, later this month to compete in the individual riders’ category.

The University of Birmingham will be sending both an A and B team to the regional competition for the first time in several years, so well done and good luck to all the competitors.

Charlotte Wilson

@wilsonscribbles

www.redbrick.me/sports | 31

Page 31 Sports Shorts

Tweet of the Week

Online this week @ColeenRoo

Heroes...

Perri Shakes-Drayton The British athlete picked up two gold medals at the European Indoor Championships. She won the 400m and the 4X400m relay. She backed up her favourite tag with a solid performance.

Kevin Phillips The 39 year old veteran striker scored a hatrick on his first start for Championship club Crystal Palace. Phillips is playing for his ninth club in 22 years of football. You have to admire his longevity he's now scored 247 goals in 560 appearances.

Ryan Giggs

A surprised wife reveals her thoughts on Sir Alex's team selection: 'Can't believe @WayneRooney isn't starting tonight.'

Weekend Wager

7/2 England play New Zealand in three test matches over the coming weeks. We're backing England to win every game and take the series 3-0.

They have already won both the T20 and ODI series 2-1 so should be confident of completing the treble.

Giggs made his 1000th career appearance against Real Madrid this week.

Fraser Kesteven looks at his fantastic career.

Men's Basketball report

Matt Yuan reports on the top of the table men's basketball 1sts as they take on Nottingham in the league.

Ed Tyler argues that Rafa's so called 'rant' was spot on and suggests that the blame lies with the way the club is run, not the manager.

5. Which horse won the Grand National last year?

Donovan Mike Crossword Editor

1Wigan Athletic 2.Everton 3. Ivo Kalovic 4.Tyson Gay 5.Neptune Collonges

This week's prize is a private dinner with our Editor, Raph Sheridan Please complete this form before you hand in your completed crossword to the Redbrick office.

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1. Shakespeare's history play __ III (7) 4. German idealist philosopher (4) 8. When someone's place has been taken illegally or by force (8) 9. Egyptian goddess (4) 10. Starland Vocal Band song covered in 'Anchorman', Afternoon __ (7) 11. U2 Frontman (4) 12. Second sign of the Zodiac (6) 17. Gelatinous substance used to culture bacteria (4) 19. Large, circular depression at the summit of a volcano (7) 20. George __, writer of Keep the Aspidistra Flying (6) 21. Piece performed by two musicians together (4) 22. Dr Seuss book, 'Green Eggs and __' (3)

Women's Lacrosse 1sts Lost 12-7 Cambridge 1sts

Men's Badminton 2nds Won 6-2 Nottingham Trent 2nds Women's Badminton 1sts Lost 8-0 Leeds Met 1sts Men's Lacrosse 2nds Drew 5-5 Warwick 2nds Netball 3rds 44-38 Nottingham 3rds

2. Which club did Ryan Giggs make his league debut against?

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Women's Hockey 2nds Won 6-0 Nottingham 2nds

Men's Tennis 1sts Won 12-0 Oxford Brookes 1sts

1. Which club has never been relegated in its existence?

The Redbrick Crossword

Men's Hockey 2nds Won 5-2 Warwick 1sts

Women's Squash 1sts Won 4-0 Northumbria 1sts

Rafa Benitez

4. Who was the holder of the 100m record before Usain Bolt?

Men's Badminton 1sts Lost 6-2 Loughborough 1sts Women's Football 2nds Drew 1-1 Nottingham Trent 1sts

Redbrick Sport Quiz

3. Who has served the most aces in one tennis match?

Results - 6th March

Down 2. Multi-headed hell-hound, guardian of the Ancient Greek underworld (8) 3. Brown wizard from Tolkien's Middle Earth (8) 5. 'Friends' star, Jennifer __ (7) 6. Author of War and Peace, Leo __ (7) 7. Jewish holiday (5) 12. Winnie the Pooh's bouncing friend (6) 13. Hindu god of creation (6) 14. Burn with hot liquid or gas (5) 15. Glaswegian river (5) 16. A campanologist's instrument (4) 18. Part of a ďŹ shing rod that allows the winding in and out of the line (4)

Rugby Men's 2nds Won 36-20 Lincoln 1sts Women's Lacrosse 2nds Won 23-0 Warwick 2nds Women's Tennis 1sts Lost 10-2 Oxford 1sts

...and Villains Rory McIlroy The world number one walked off the course at Honda Classic complaining of toothache.

He was seven shots over after eight holes. He has since admitted it was the wrong decision: 'What I did was not good for the fans out there watching me.'

Cuneyt Cakir The Turkish referee sent off Manchester United's Nani 56 minutes into a 2nd leg against Real Madrid.

United went on to lose 2-1 with many people pointing the finger at the referee. Did Nani's challenge really warrant a red a straight red card?

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32 |8th - 14th March 2013

www.redbrick.me/sport

Equestrian report Lily Blacksell reports on the Equestrian A team's success to reach regional final

Men's Football The men's third team clinch promotion with a professional performance

RedbrickSport

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p30

'We're all off to Leeds'

George Evans

@Georgeevanss

Men's Hockey

Birmingham 1sts

5

Nottingham 1sts

4

Tim Pearson & Felix Keith Sport Editors Birmingham men’s 1st team booked their place in the BUCS Championship final in Leeds on the 20th March with an enthralling 5-4 victory over Nottingham 1sts in front of a boisterous crowd at the Bournbrook pitch es. Birmingham’s fifth goal, scored by

Richard Gear-Evans, put Birmingham ahead for the final time before ten minutes of Nottingham pressure failed to produce an equaliser that would have pushed the game into extra time.

Both teams started nervously, with neither managing to retain the ball and put any meaningful pressure on the respective defences. The first chance of the game fell to Richard Marshall, who found himself on the end of a hopeful pass from Patrick McDowell, sent from just inside the halfway line. He duly pushed the ball past the Nottingham goalkeeper with his reverse stick to make it 1-0 to the home side.

The goal failed to bring a new impetus into the game, with both teams

happy still trying to keep the ball and break down the opposition slowly. It wasn’t until the 20th minute that Nottingham had their first chance of the game. Birmingham gave away a short corner but managed to scramble it away.

They didn’t have long to wait for their next opportunity though, when two minutes later, the Birmingham captain Pete Jackson’s pass from the back was intercepted by Nottingham’s Chris Harden. He gave the ball to striker Andy Sutherland, whose strike was initially saved by Brum keeper Paddy Smith, before being bundled in by Great Britain international Harry Martin. 1-1.

A couple of green cards for Nottingham players showed that ill discipline was begin-

ning to creep into the visitors game, but they were powerless to prevent a great individual goal from Nick Bandurak, whose reverse stick hit from the top of the D was virtually unstoppable and found its way into the small gap between the keeper and the left hand post. Birmingham went in at halftime with a small lead in a very tight first half.

Whatever the coaches said to the players at half time definitely worked. The game was played with more purpose and pace and it was clear to the large crowd that it was going to be a classic. Just a minute into the half Will Byas deflected a through *Continued on page 29, column 4