COM M E N T WITH EYES WIDE OPEN JIM DEEDS
Going round the houses
CHRISTMAS VISITS TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS REMIND US OF WHO WE REALLY ARE. An important part of our family Christmas experience over the years has been visiting friends and family. We would do so with an air of excitement, warmth and nostalgia. We get ourselves ready with presents and cards and make the rounds. On Christmas Day itself, this would have entailed meeting at my parents' house around 1 pm, coinciding with my brothers and sister and their families. It was always a joyous gathering. Even though we talk almost daily on the phone or message on social media, we would all come together only on these special occasions. There was always hugging, laughing, eating, and yet more laughing, singing and a bit more laughing for good measure. Before Christmas day and on the days after, there would be visits to aunties and cousins, godchildren and friends. Some of these lovely people we would not have seen in quite some time. Relationships would be rekindled when we met up, given life through conversation and contact. Beautiful stuff! Last year was so different for all of us as there was no going round the houses for any of us at all. We had one small gathering in my sister's house on Christmas night for an hour or so, as per government guidelines here in the North and in line with our desire to keep each other safe and well. This year may see the return of some of our ability to go round the houses, but
not all such ability will likely be returned to us. We live in strange and difficult times. It may well be that, for many of us, we will have to 'go' virtually to loved ones' houses this year via the various online platforms we can avail of. But why do we do it? Why do we go round the houses when it is an option for us? That is a question I wrestled with a couple of years ago, along with a group of Year 9 and Year 12 boys in St Mary's Christian Brothers School in Belfast. I am lucky to be asked to visit the school occasionally to speak about faith and life. So, on this visit, I asked the boys why we call to people's houses around Christmas and the New Year. They came up with really great answers. Some said they went round the houses because they got something in return. Fair enough, when we call with people, we often get a gift or some nourishment (food, drinks, love). More said they called round the houses because they loved the people they visited. Whoa! That was a really good one, and it was even better for a bunch of 13-16-year-old boys to share it. We visit someone's house because we want to meet people we love. We remembered grannies and aunties and close friends in our conversation together. One boy said that we call in order to see people who know all about us. I took this to mean that they hold a little bit of the stories of our lives (and in return,
we hold a little bit of their stories too). We can reminisce with them. Grannies will say, 'Ah, I remember when you were only a wee baby' or, 'I can't believe you've grown up so much.' Friends will recall stories of adventures past. All this reminds us of who we really are. That's it, isn't it? Going round the houses reminds us of who we really are. And it is good to be there. Whose houses will you go to this Christmas if you can physically or virtually? Bring them to your mind now. Hold them in love in your mind. Be thankful for them and for the times you have shared with them in the past and will share with them again, please God, in the future. Now, remember those who do not have anyone to visit or to visit them this Christmas. So many people are lonely in our world. Perhaps you could think of someone you could visit or phone or video call? Of course, on my journeys this Christmas time I will go to another house too. One where I will be fed and nourished. It is a house where I will experience love, joy and mercy (boy, do I need mercy!). It is a house that holds the story of who I am. Of course, I'm speaking of the house of God. This visit will be the central one of my Christmas visits. I invite you this year to think about making this visit too at some stage over the Christmas season, in whatever life situation you find yourself – even if you find yourself angry
at God, angry at the church, or even disbelieving. Why not make a visit and give it a go? I believe you will encounter peace, quiet and healing there. And if you can't do that this year, can I invite you to try one other thing? At some stage over the Christmas season, take a minute or two to yourself. Go to a quiet place and close your eyes. Spend a moment or two just breathing and letting yourself be carefree and centred on the present moment. In the quiet: Call one thing to mind that is worrying you: ask God to help you with it Call two people to mind who make you smile: hold them in love Call three things to mind that you are really thankful for: give thanks to God Just try it. I guarantee you it will not do you any harm. It will not spoil your Christmas. It will not take you away from the turkey for too long. And if it goes ok, why not make it a New Year's resolution to repeat this and grow this time in your life? May 2022 be a good year for us all.
Belfast man Jim Deeds is a poet, author, pastoral worker and retreat-giver working across Ireland.
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