ReInventions Reena Saxena
All rights reserved Reena Saxena - http://reinventions.in
REINVENTIONS
The book of the blog http://reinventions.in from 12 December 2015 to 21 December 2016
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1 BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT
Restructuring the theory of Motivation Monday 20 June 2016
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Avalanche buries 10 Army Personnel in Siachen. Pathankot attack: Martyrs held their ground, showed unparalleled bravery. These are the news headlines that have gripped the nation for more than a month now. There are several inspiring stories of brave parents and wives, who expressed pride in the valour of their sons, and their readiness to sacrifice another family member at the altar of national honour and security. A retired army official broke down on national TV, since he could not bear the thought of anyone questioning the right to hoist the national flag, at any spot in the country. What motivates them ? And why are we unable to replicate the models in academic and corporate sectors ? We have grown up memorizing the Maslow’s theory of motivation, which gives a certain order in which needs should be met, to keep people at peak performance levels.
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Herzberg’s model also echoes more or less the same view, though in a different structure.
See this statement by a defence chief, that overturns the theory The safety, honour & welfare of your country comes first, always & every time. The honour, welfare & 7
comfort of the men you command, come next. Your own ease, comfort & safety come last, always & every time. This had been the motto of the armed forces of India and they followed it through life and death. by Air Chief Marshal N.A.K. Browne. It appears that the armed forces are ruled by a reverse set of motivational factors :
How do they see it ? Self-actualization : The sense of self-worth is derived from sacrificing your life or limb or familial bonds, at the altar of service to the nation. Self-Esteem :
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Abiding by the set of principles and values that have been inculcated during their training, and was the driving force to join the Army. Love and belonging The devotion to other team members, and the confidence that their leaders will stand by them, to the end. If these three needs are met, it relegates fundamental needs like physiological and needs to the narrow end of the pyramid. Facilitating factors •
Victory is hailed, but Defeat is not considered a crime. Putting in your best efforts is valued.
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Discipline and TeamWork are the prime movers, not Competition.
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There is no fear of being let down by leaders or colleagues.
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One does not switch regiments or companies, in case of interpersonal problems, or a posting in inhospitable terrains. This strengthens the internal bonds, and fosters team spirit.
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The physiological and safety needs of their families are taken care of, by the service rules and regulations, and that does not allow their drive or enthusiasm to flag at any moment.
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Absence of work-life balance is not a de-motivator, since work has always superseded other aspects of life, and accepted as a fundamental fact of existence.
These are the very factors, which are missing in a corporate environment, and create distrust and dissatisfaction. Modified theory of Motivation Let us play around with the triangle a little more, and create a model, where every other factor leads to the central driving force – Self Esteem and Self Actualization.
Physiological and Safety & Security needs are not so much of a motivator. But an absence of these factors can demotivate. This is because having the basic minimum, aids the self-esteem of people, and how they
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are perceived in society. It is a reassurance of not leading a sub-normal existence. Love and belonging, too, strengthen the self-esteem. If an employee is quitting for greener pastures, but the organization lets him go with a feeling of being valued, of his career interest being held above organizational needs, and in a spirit of cheer and bonhomie, they have built a long-term and mutually beneficial relationship. This can always be leveraged in future, to serve both. Refinement of the theory at higher levels At higher levels in the hierarchy, organizational relationships become a matter of co-ordinated movement of clock gears, and finding the exact interlocking point where the bond clicks.
It is the higher self that matters, and will always do, in case of educated and enlightened individuals.
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When Trust Tears Apart Monday 20 June 2016
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This is inspired by the story of Diamond, Sir Isaac Newton’s pet, who was unwittingly, instrumental in the destruction of several years of research work. Diamond knew nothing about the value of those papers, but would sure have understood and commiserated with his master’s distress after the incident. And that made Sir Isaac Newton absolve him with the words " Alas! you don't know what you have done". The desire to relive the happier moments induces one to trust again, and in the process, overlook some lessons from the past. Re-opened doors can allow both the God and the Devil to enter, and in some unfortunate cases, the Devil strikes again. As they say . “Beware- The Devil was once an Angel” . This moves the receiver from frustration to despair to scepticism to cynicism, with every repeat incidence of the experience. In some cases, the perpetrators do know what they have done, and derive a sadistic delight from it. In some other cases, there may be genuine repentance, but they have burnt bridges behind them.
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FRAGILITY OF TRUST What is it about trust that makes it so fragile ? We are willing to live again, love again, and walk again after a fall, but NEVER TRUST AGAIN ? David Maister, in his book, “The Trusted Advisor”, discussed the following Trust Equation
The Self Orientation factor is crucial to the equation. The level of Trust dips, as soon as the level of the other person’s Self-interest rises. Acting in selflessness, in the larger interest, therefore, emerges as the principal ingredient of trust. 14
And total selflessness may only be a virtue of the saints. THE ALGORITHM OF TRUST Trust, as we know it, is a function of •
Past experience
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Image of a person
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The set of circumstances under which the two parties are reaching an agreement
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Susceptibility to external influence.
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Perception of the situation (Naivete, misplaced trust, unrealistic expectations or a time-relevance all fall under this ).
We build different levels of trust depending on these five factors, and build checks and balances to protect our own interest. The equations that emerge after both sides have done their mental mathematics, are the Power Equations in an organization, nation, family or society. CONSEQUENCES OF A BREACH OF TRUST This is different from a ‘breach of contract’, where the parties are legally bound, and it is possible to proceed legally against the offender. Breach of trust happens, when information is shared in good faith, expectations are built up based on perceived behaviour patterns, but the results are different from what was expected. This could be the trust between members of an organizational team, or the trust one places in the 15
professional ethics of a coach, a therapist, a consultant or a banker. The action of breach may be beyond the purview of law, or organizational rules and regulations, but has inflicted damage. BEHAVIORAL IMPACT •
Counter-strategy
Tighten the rules and regulations, to prevent recurrence of the act. It may hamper smooth operations, cause avoidable delays and lose all relevance after some time. The people on the ground do not understand why the shackles were created in the first place.
Perceived Justice Punish the offender with available means. This could result in a debarment, demotion, dismissal or divorce. 16
The offender is often excluded from channels of communication. Revenge Recover damages to the extent possible, by using methods, beyond the scope of organizational rules and procedures. This could result in people taking law in their hands. Destruction of the organizational or national culture Paranoia from the Past overtakes logic of the present moment. This thread affects the entire fabric of relationships, and gradually, creates a culture of distrust. Good Samaritans and Positive Pauls are quickly labelled as Fools. The Divide and Rule policies are framed by insecure and paranoid leaders, and this may have more to do with self-preservation and keeping the veil intact on unsavory secrets. But the culture of distrust has been created.
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Psychological damage Individuals can develop fears and phobias that might need counselling or psychiatric intervention. It affects all other relationships in their lives.
A Breach of Trust is not always Unethical It could be a “Breach of Trust” Vs. “ Breach of Principles” situation. The values of a person may clash with those of his colleagues, friends or family, and s/he chooses the former. Killing your own conscience or the voice of reason, to gain trust of wrongdoers may not be something, everyone can live with. All said and done, the strife to maintain a balance between self-interest, organizational or societal interest and Trust will continue. It either takes an exceptional strong individual , or a psychopath to emerge unscathed from the situation.
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The elasticity of a framework or mind-set, to return to its original state, scarred but smarter , is all that matters.
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The Anatomy of Trust Monday 20 June 2016
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(Source: ibible.org) A child is about to be hit by a moving vehicle. An instant reflex makes us pull the child away, and makes the driver apply brakes. The result may be a few bruises, or a minor accident due to the sudden application of brakes, but the safety of the child is paramount. And this is not necessarily, YOUR CHILD. Why is this kid laughing ? •
Trust
He trusts that the adult is bigger and stronger, and cares. 2. Inexperience He does not know the consequences of a fall. Hence, the mind is without fear. 3. Hope He hopes to land in somebody’s arms. Introduction to Trust Human beings are genetically wired to like babies. Their innocence and helplessness, instantly arouse our protective instincts. This instinct extends further into our love for pets, depending on our perception and needs. 20
The cute puppy is a ‘Baby’ for one, and a destructive irritant to another member of the family. It is a projection of our innermost self into the world. The behaviour is egged on by our need to be unconditionally loved, or a distrust of dissimilar species. We are introduced to the concept of Trust in early infancy – when we have no other option but to trust our caretakers. We are born into an idyllic situation of unconditional love. The concept gradually changes into suspicion and distrust. This happens with occurrence of a clash of interest, coupled with our basic instincts for self-preservation. ‘Is Mom telling Dad about my misadventures during the day?’ ‘Did Bro or Sis devour my share of the cake?’ And we learn to evolve our defence strategies. However, we have to continue living under the same roof, with the same set of people, and we depend on them for survival. Evolution of Trust Trust is now a need, a strategy, not an instinct. The need to trust emanates from dependence, and the consequent mutual benefits. •
Role play expectations
‘You are my mother, and hence, you are supposed to do it for me. Everybody’s Mom does it.’ 21
2. Mutual Benefit ‘You don’t tell Mom that I took the cookie, and I won’t say that you spilt the drink on the sofa.’ 3. Partnership in crime or lies ‘We’ll blame it on the dog’. 4. Past experience ‘She has always stood by me, through thick and thin’. 5. Expecting a return ‘I helped him with his homework’. Embedding of Trust in the psyche Trust may be the glue between a group of strangers working on a common project, a group of friends on a mountaineering expedition or a family sharing the same roof. It becomes a code of conduct for evolved human beings. We see it in noble animals, who love, trust and help each other, and extend the same behaviour to a different species. We also see the ‘Might is Right’ rule of the animal kingdom, where the fate of the weaker organism is to become a meal for someone else. We see their courage, and their survival strategies. And we choose our path, which is a function of our value system and past experience. The Trust Test 22
What happens If there is a clash of interest, for my survival ? •
I work towards my own gain, irrespective of the bond with the other person.
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I try and find a mutually beneficial solution, with minimum damage inflicted.
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I mitigate the blow, by informing the aggrieved party, of the circumstances under which I am compelled to do this.
If the other person is a stepping stone to my success ? The other person is an unsuspecting ally or friend, and has done nothing to harm me. Maybe, he has helped me in the past. But I will not get that inheritance or promotion or the proverbial pot of gold, unless I harm this person. So, I choose to sacrifice him. If the other person is smart enough to see through the game? I devise games to gain his trust, and be seen as an ally. Then, I subtly choose to play the last card to win. I enjoy the thrill of subtle warfare, of mind-bending risk, of a stimulating challenge, and the ultimate victory. If the other person is innocent and unsuspecting, and I stand to gain nothing from the game ?
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Yet, I choose to kill him, metaphorically. It is the characteristic of a cold-blooded, apathetic criminal, who derives pleasure from feeding on sores. The Game of Life If I placed trust in another individual or a situation, why did I do so ? Why do I think that another is responsible for my welfare? Which childhood situation drives my expectations? Life is another name for growing up, and growing together or apart. The response of the victim in recovering from the blow , and rebuilding his life, becomes the ultimate test for survival. It turns him into a strong person, a sceptic, a cynic or another perpetrator of injustice. And is the perpetrator ever able to trust, after doing the deed?
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Being Judgemental Monday 20 June 2016
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An oft-repeated conversation between me and my partner is about preferred social sets. He fully accepts me as I am in our little world, but is bothered about social perceptions on my introversion. (Is that being less or more judgemental?) These are some excerpts from a recurring exchange of views. My Partner : Why are you always so judgemental? Me : Really? Am I ? My Partner : 25
I find you to be so. You need to be more accepting of people, warts and all. Me : But who is talking about warts or whatever you wish to call it? They have different mind-sets, and I would be happy, if they saw things from a different perspective. But, it is none of my business. And if I accept that it is not, then am I being judgemental ?
I cite a few dictionary definitions, to support my case. Oxford ( disapproving ) judging people and criticizing them too quickly ( formal ) connected with the process of judging things The Free Dictionary
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Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones: Merriam Webster Dictionary ‘tending to judge people too quickly and critically’ Google ‘having or displaying an overly critical point of view’. My Partner : Exactly. The definitions spell out how you behave at times.
Me : I wonder why the word judgemental has acquired a negative connotation, whereas the meaning of the parent word ‘judgement’ is about having a balanced view. Why am I not accused of the crime, when I compliment or befriend a person? I am using judgement. What makes us different? 27
My inherited traits, acquired knowledge, life experience and the microprocessors inside me , all contribute to the formation of my world view. It is the same with the other person. And it is not necessary that we share all the factors in the same proportion. It is about finding the Highest Common Factor, and the Lowest Common Denominator, and building a social life between that. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn has said that we are the average of five people closest to us. This is based on the law of probability, which says that the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes. (Source : http://www.businessinsider.com/jim-rohn-your e-the-average-of-the-five-people-you-spend-the-most-ti me-with-2012-7?IR=T) I interpret the assumptions behind the statement as follows : •
Exchange of positive interpersonal energy boosts us.
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Exchange of relevant information supports us.
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A forward thrust comes easily from shared goals, and a combined effort.
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A constant review and readjustment of our microprocessors, helps us in choosing the best possible options.
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Lesser the friction, higher the energy conserved for positive action. 28
Then, is it wrong, if I prefer spending less time with dissimilar or clashing mindsets? I am exercising a choice, not being judgemental. My Partner : Is it ethical to change the circle? We have certain obligations to the people we have grown up around, and who have contributed to our lives in some manner. They cannot be sidelined, because you have grown and evolved in a different direction. Glenn Lopis says that the doubters, critics and the envious are the people that build up your mental toughness. Do not run away from them. Me : I fully agree, and I do not intend to be selfish or rude. But I see a graded pattern in interactions, and it is about mindsets, not obligations imposed by the Parent or Child inside me. The four zones of physical closeness are intimate, personal, social and public . I have a similar mental classification, and my discomfort increases, when people from the outer zones make attempts to migrate inwards. The zones are defined by the time spent with them, the level of formality, the range of topics discussed, and a two-way flow of thoughts.
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My Partner : But, why do you assume authority on classifying people? Our kith and kin have a greater right on our resources and time. Me: I accept that in a macro perspective. But I reserve the rights to choose the kind of interactions that I would like to have, and with whom. I may choose to spend time with myself, or focus on the initiatives that they are not a part of. My training in Coaching has taught me to be non-judgemental, but confined to the particular case and situation, and with an objective of not obstructing the client’s flow of thoughts. It is all about the client, as long as it is the client’s life .
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My acceptance increases with an expansion of my world view. Larger the canvas, smaller the problem appears to be. The perspective changes with the context. It is the framework on our thought process, and it keeps shifting.
Life goes on, and so do the discussions. The kith and kin are only chosen as an example, and the situation can occur with any social or professional set of people. Your perspective is most welcome.
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Zero-Based Thinking Tuesday 28 June 2016
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A kid with bright eyes and an inquisitive demeanour was asked for his name, during a school inspection. The prompt answer was “My name is Johnny Don’t”. It appeared to be an improbable name, so the Principal of the school decided to probe further, asking about his family background, and who had given him that name. He elaborated that his mother was the driving force behind his achievements, and she always encouraged him by saying: “Johnny Don’t Keep Doing That.” He was happy that she had taught him to be persevering and persistent. He had earned accolades from all his teachers for his consistent achievements in every field. This child had captured the essence of success, by displacing the punctuation mark in his mother’s sentence, and turning negativity to positivity. Measuring Incremental Progress Forward motion starts at birth, as the clock and calendar keep ticking away the years. All progress is being accounted for, in an incremental manner. The night pulls us back, as close as possible, to the foetal state – 32
closed, protected and comfortable in the dark. The mind does not remain still, though. The subconscious replays whatever was ignored by the conscious mind during the day, in our dreams or intuitive flashes. It is the job of the conscious mind to draw inferences from subconscious activity, and let it influence life going forward. Life does not allow us to slip backwards, or drop the baggage from the past. We carry the burden of our identity, our experience and the blueprint that we have once drawn for the rest of our life. If at all, mishap or misfortune do manage to pull us back, it is labelled regression or de-growth, a negative term, not displacement or migration. Incremental progress is measured from the beginning of life, not from any point in between. What if you took a detour, and started afresh at some point? The Power of Zero Zero defines and balances both the positive and negative, and is yet, misconstrued as a state of nothingness in colloquial language. “Oh, Jack and Social Sciences! He is a Big Zero�. Have we bothered to check if Jack scored well in other subjects, or his relative grades in different subjects under social sciences, or improvement during a certain period? Does he qualify to be called a Zero, despite his other achievements?
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We measure life elements on both sides of zero, and isolate the fulcrum. That is also the Power of Zero --- of influencing, of giving other numbers their relative position, without being impacted itself. It transforms numbers in its trailing position (2400), and lets them be in its leading position (0024). It can shift the value of numbers from zero to infinity, by a simple operation of multiplication or division. What is more powerful than Zero? Something more powerful than zero is a tiny dot called the decimal point, which transforms zero into a placeholder. The value of zero changes with its placement vis-à-vis this dot (0.0024 or 0.2400). However, zero does not lose its importance. 1.024 is not the same as 1.24, despite the decimal being placed after 1. I see Zero as the core being, the soul, the source of energy in a human being, while the Decimal Point is the Universal Consciousness, a centripetal force that drives human life. The core is strong by itself, but the Universal Consciousness can help in making it aware of its place, vis-à-vis all other forces in the universe. Meditation aims at reaching this point of being, not doing. It enables fair and impartial observation of whatever is happening inside and around us. How do we focus on Zero?
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The burden of the past (birth, heredity, tradition, debts and transferred life expectations) prevents us from leading a self-aligned life. Zero-based budgeting is a tool, where one needs to justify every item of expenditure in the present context. The base figures are not taken as automatically approved. It is not an incremental budget that is built upon a base figure, and assumes that all incurred costs will continue. Life needs to be planned in the same way. Shift the zero to your present position. It will help in accurate measurement of future progress.
Look for the decimal point, and where has it placed you. The relativity to a circle of your priorities matters more than linear growth.
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Source: positivefocus.ca The only question that we really need to ask ourselves is What would I do, if I could start again on a clean slate ? We need to move backwards, but stop at zero. Refuse to slide onto the negative scale. The questions that you ask yourself should be : •
How is the current situation serving you? Are you learning from it, or is it holding you back?
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Which past value or belief stands in the way of your success?
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What do you need to shed in order for you to move forward?
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Which past experience or belief is influencing your assumption of the situation?
A limitation, once identified, loses its force, and can be overcome. Identify the voice which prompts that this is an impossible option. Think about the circumstances which made that voice say so. Are you facing identical circumstances? If not, then what stops you? The Balance Sheet of Life I can hear my business brain say that we may not reach the targets with this approach. Balance sheets need to show a steady upward graph, not a zigzag line. The targets and the approach remain valid, as long as you wish to be measured by the same market on the same parameters. If you don’t, change the path. The targets and goalposts will lose validity. You need to press the reset button.
A just social order 37
The same principle applies to a society. If linear growth is taking you in undesirable directions, press Reset. The future generations will thank you for the foresight. We need not leave a legacy that is a burden to them, be it the economy, the environment or an unjust social order.
Stephen Fry says that our assumptions and vested interests, color our perspective of a just society. This video nails the burden of the past and self-interest that we carry, and which comes in the way of building a just and equitable social order. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8GDEaJtbq4 ( a 2-minute watch) Coverpic source:Â Source: referenceforbusiness.com external link(s): 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8GDEaJtbq4
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Why Behavior Training Fails Tuesday 5 July 2016
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What will make companies spend more on Training and Development ? •
A compliance clause similar to the one on Corporate Social Responsibility.
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Reduction in attrition rate.
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Measurable Returns on Investment.
….. The list can go on endlessly, with conflicting opinions and viewpoints. The targets of criticism are often : •
Lack of follow-up.
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Lack of clarity in roles and responsibilities.
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Lack of co-operation from seniors.
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Resistance to change.
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Internal politics and turf wars.
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Nominations for training being irrelevant to the needs of the organization.
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Training programs being treated as a perquisite/paid holiday/alibi to keep a person away from the office for sometime.
Again, the list is endless. Behavior is not an absolute, which can be targeted in isolation. It is just one aspect, and a consequence of several other factors.
Borrowing from the software terminology, every person is an object , which belongs to a class called humanity . Every object (person) has state and behavior . 1. Identity : Every instance of a class should be unique. e.g. in memory, every object has its own memory address. Every person has a name, gender, address, profession, social tag like community, race etc. to give it a unique identity. 40
2. State : Every object, at any given point of time would have to have a set of attributes defining its State. Reactive State : In this state, a person acts as a response to the stimuli it receives from the environment. They are largely defence strategies to protect oneself, and safeguard interests in the given environment. This can also be equated to the ‘reptile and mammal intelligence’ of a human being (Maclean’s model, 1970). The ‘reptile brain’ consists of the brain stem and cerebellum, and it gives an individual its survival instincts. The ‘mammal or limbic brain’ consists of hippocampus, amygdala and the hypothalamus. This can record memories of behaviours that produced agreeable and disagreeable experiences, so it is responsible for what are called emotions in human beings.
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Proactive State : A person is stable and centered in this state. This is the core of an individual, which does not change with the environment. Value systems, genetics, physical attributes etc. fall under this category. This can be equated with the ‘human brain or neocortex’ in the Maclean’s model, 1970. This corresponds to the two large cerebral hemispheres in the brain. These hemispheres have been responsible for the development of human language, abstract thought, imagination, and consciousness. The neocortex is flexible and has almost infinite learning abilities . (Source : http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/ )
All three types of intelligence co-exist, and have evolved together. Behavior : 42
Every object based on its state and optionally identity will have particular behavior. Behavior is what a person does , as opposed to what a person is . In a human being, behavior is an outcome of the state, in which an individual is, at that particular moment. Behavior cannot be influenced, without changing the ‘state’ of the individual. The stimuli from the environment will keep changing, and so will the response of the individual, in its ‘reactive’ state. Hence, development programs need to be designed to keep a person in his proactive state, for a maximum period of time. HOW TO REMAIN PROACTIVE? The reactive state helps an individual in ensuring its safety viz. In the fight-or-flight response it evokes in a dangerous situation. It also accesses the recorded memories of previous situations, and the pleasantness or unpleasantness related to that situation. This creates the emotional response. Anger, confusion, withdrawal, hysteria may all be manifestations of fear, induced by a previous memory. A proactive mindset can be created by watching these reactions carefully, interpreting them, learning from them, and modifying further behaviour. It creates that sense of centeredness and unflappability in an individual. It is referred to as ‘maturity’, as it is a consequence of learning from prior experience. Choosing not to be Reactive, is being Proactive . 43
The following steps are an indicative strategy, not exhaustive. •
Watch your thoughts, gut reactions, language and the causative factors.
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Access the memories that created it.
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Analyse, and assure yourself that circumstances are not always the same.
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Create a plan for the future, and stick to it.
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Follow up on the commitments made, to yourself and others, and deliver.
Watch this short video ( 1 min, 39 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT8zw2yCjbA Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Intelligence (EI) training should ideally precede other modules. The receptivity to training, and effectiveness will both increase. Coverpic source : humanityhealing.net external link(s): 1. http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/flash/d/d_07/d_07_p/d_07_p_tra/d_07_p_tra.html 2. http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/
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Neuro-Logical Alignment (Internal & External) Friday 8 July 2016
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Jackie is a conscientious and hard-working individual. He wakes up in the morning, dresses up to go to work, and breaks into hives exactly at 9 a.m. The doctors have not been able to diagnose a cause, or offer a cure for the problem. He tried various para-medical treatments. Then, a friend suggested that he should try neurological alignment with a NLP expert. What is Neurological Alignment? This is a Neuro Linguistic Programming pattern, based on the work of Robert Dilt. He opined that people operate at different levels at different times, and a misalignment between the levels causes confusion and discomfort. A complete alignment brings people closer to their goals in life, and success. Awareness of these six levels, helps a person in identifying the disconnect between them, if any, and the consequent cause of discomfort. •
Environment (Time and Place)
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Behavior (Thoughts and actions)
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Capabilities (Resources and Skills)
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Values and Beliefs (Ingrained system within which a person functions)
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Identity (How a person sees himself or herself)
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Spirituality (A higher purpose in life)
The conversation between Jackie and his coach proceeded on the following lines. “You said you believe in a honest and fair means of earning a livelihood. But, your professional act of concealing facts and fudging numbers reveals the opposite.” “Yes. But, I need the job, and my boss expects me to do that. I have my share of domestic responsibilities, and all financial plans have been chalked out with the continuation of this income.” “What stops you from finding another job?” “The industry is going through a recession. Age-ism is also a barrier in getting a new job. I will lose all my vested ESOPs, if I quit at this stage.” (There is a conflict between environment and perceived capabilities). “Have you used your network to look for opportunities? Would you like to set up your own business?” “No. My social circle sees me as a successful executive. Talking about this will dent my image. My family members are all well-placed professionals, civil service 46
officials or high profile executive. But nobody has ventured into a business.” (Conflict between identity, capability and values/beliefs) “Are you happy doing whatever you do, to keep your boss happy?” “No. But, I remain as tactful as possible, and stay out of trouble.” (He has modified his behaviour to suit the environment, but the clash with values still remains) “How would you like to be remembered, at the end of your life? Wealthy, successful, a good human being, a philanthropist?” “A person who achieved success by ethical means, and helped others” (This crystallizes the values/beliefs and spiritual aspects that are clashing with the environment. If the person just wants to be wealthy, s/he would be well-aligned). “What if you tried? What can be the worst and best possible scenario?” Now, Jackie starts realizing that he needs to align himself, if he wants to see effective and comprehensive change in his life. Either he alters his perspective, and accepts wealth creation as the principal goal in life, or looks for alternative means of earning a living. Maybe, he has to live with less, but it will be a more satisfying life. 47
Organizational Levels and Alignment The same six levels can be made applicable to an organization. Identity Vision and mission Belief Culture and philosophy Capability Knowledge and skills Behavior Practice and customs Environment Surroundings, equipment and location Spirituality Applicable only to philanthropic or non-profit organizations Change in an organization can be successful, only with complete alignment of the first five levels. Else, success is hollow, and a mere eyewash. Alignment between the employee and organization Attrition, lack of motivation, mental health and dysfunctional behaviour traits amongst employees, are all a consequence of non-alignment of the employee with the organization at each level. The Vision and Mission statements on the websites do not reflect the actual environment in the organization. Employees are well aware of the leaders’ motives, functioning styles and the dichotomies involved between the various levels. What can be done?
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Unhappy employees like Jackie should introspect, keeping each level of the pyramid in view. The actual cause of frustration will reveal itself.
It may not always be possible for an employee to leave, or to expect that the next organization/venture would be an ideal place to work in. In that case, s/he has to realign life goals and perspective, to ensure smooth functioning. ‘Counting your blessings’ is one method of realignment, where a person starts seeing the benefits of the arrangement (like social status, professional identity, a platform to exhibit competence etc.), and this reduces the internal friction that s/he has encountered before. Organizations can help employees to realign, by facilitating coaching, NLP intervention or any other sessions/techniques that can help. This resolves internal dissonance, and helps the employee to deliver the best.
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Why should a leader not compare & contrast? Saturday 23 July 2016
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“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” ― Shannon L. Alder And yet, it is so difficult to be unique, or to flaunt it. Research shows that human beings do compare themselves with others, and form an assessment of their capabilities based on that. The Fab Five Broadly, there are five scales of comparison, which appear to determine the self-esteem of a person: •
Power
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Aggression
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Social Attractiveness
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Talent
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Wealth
Self Esteem •
People with a high self-esteem are pleased to see their placement vis-à-vis others on a comparative
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scale, but lose interest in this comparison after sometime. They do not feel a need to do that. •
Comparison and contrast make a person with low self-esteem unhappy, and they try to hide from public view, lest the weaknesses are exposed. However, they are driven by a need to improve, and flaunt their achievements, as they move up the scale. They compare and contrast at every stage of their upward journey, as it lends a feel-good factor.
Co-operation or Competition •
People in a co-operative situation tend to judge themselves as good or bad, based on the performance of their team.
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In a competitive situation, people in all teams visualize themselves poorly, by a comparison with the highest performers.
Context Organisations use this psychology to maximize productivity. But the context in which performance is being measured should always remain clear, and made known to the stakeholders. •
Contests and incentive schemes are introduced to drive people to maximum performance levels. These are usually a combination of competition between individuals and teams. All the above factors are at play here.
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•
Performance appraisals are mostly designed to measure individual performance, and an employee, has to drive the point hard, if s/he has done well in a challenging environment (the economy, technological or geographical limitations, internal issues during the period of appraisal).
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The cultural fit of an employee is decided based on how well s/he performs on the five scales of comparison.
In each of the above three cases, the needle moves on a different scale, and yields different results. The Overall Perspective •
The absence of clarity on context, or an overall perspective, can inflict immeasurable damage, in the following scenarios:
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An employee withdraws into a shell, due to a low score on the comparison scale. The person does not 53
reveal the facts, which led to a low performance, as s/he sees it as a matter of shame. The organization has missed out on a lot of information that could have helped them gauge the external environment, or internal problems, and reshape strategy. •
If the performance gap between the highest performer and others is very large, the performing employee understands the dependence of the organisation. It might lead to a demand for a disproportionately high rank or wages, and a threat to leave, if the demands are not met. Complacence also becomes an unconscious barrier to scaling up performance
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Past masters at the game can resent the rise of the brash, upcoming stars.
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Pic : mensxp.com •
An overall consistent performer can feel depressed, owing to lack of recognition in a time-bound contest.
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People with high individual contributions may lose morale, owing to a low team performance. The juxtaposition with a low contributor in a high performing team can exacerbate the situation further.
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A high-performing employee can leave, owing to a poor cultural fit. The organization loses out on these ‘islands of excellence’, if there is no effort to integrate them in the mainstream.
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An employee who is held in high esteem by peers and subordinates for the excellent support s/he provides, is rated low by superiors, due to political or some other factors. This usually ends up in the employee’s resignation.
How can the gap be bridged? Modesty
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Modesty is only an attempt to maintain like-ability. A perceived gap in any of the Fab Five parameters, causes the less fortunate to withdraw. The people at the higher end of the spectrum downplay their strengths and achievements, in order to make others feel comfortable, and reduce the gap. This is labelled as humility, modesty, charm or charisma in different situations. It is all about creating a level of comfort. However, this approach has its limitations, as spelt out by the wise. Modesty is a learned affectation. And as soon as life slams the modest person against the wall, that modesty drops -- Maya Angelou False modesty is worse than arrogance – David Mitchell True it is that covetousness is rich, modesty starves -John Milton Promoting individual excellence through coaching 1. Coaching and counselling can help employees identify their core strengths. 2. Coaching can remove the mental blocks that are created due to comparison and contrast. 3. Coaching can help in creating individual goal sheets aligned to the organizational interest.
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4. A 360 degree feedback system can highlight the fertile ground, where an individual can deliver his or her best. A business needs a competent army at every post, and experienced commanders to be the pillars, in all organizational vectors. Anything less would cause the roof to fall rapidly.
Pic : blog.commlabindia.com Collaboration is the key to success, not comparison or contrast. Inspiration and research support People estimate their others' performance
own
abilities
based
on
A Social Comparison Scale external link(s): 1. http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1391130.Shannon_L_Alder 2. http://medicalxpress.com/print388212061.html 3. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247166649_A_Social_Compariso n_Scale_Psychometric_properties_and_relationship_to_psychopathology
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Why I Choose to be 'Inspired', not 'Led'? Friday 29 July 2016
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My dear friend, Sara Jacobovici (pronounced Yakobovich), inspires and influences me in myriad ways. Last week, she suggested a sequel to the article “Why Leaders should not Compare & Contrast?”, by highlighting the value of self-awareness and what motivates us, and the significance of the ‘emulation’ factor. I was weary of entering the endless discussions on leadership, yet again. But I sure knew, what I would choose to follow or emulate. A challenging week followed for me, in terms of ill health, heavy rains and traffic jams all causing the usual support systems to fall off. While I was reading about flu shots and the spreading of the ‘influenza’ virus, Sara yet again, engaged me in another discussion on ‘imposed self vs. authentic self’. Here is what she said, and honestly, what I found challenging, but inspiring, in that unwell frame of mind. “We act on our experience at the behest of the others, just as we learn how to behave in compliance with them. We are taught what to experience and what not to experience..." Are we aware of what drives us? 58
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People who have grown up on a particular kind of diet, keep rejecting ‘alien’ items, without ever trying or tasting them. They believe it is their choice.
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Many rituals would fall under the same category. We have never paused to question them.
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Schools and organizations do their bit in creating ‘moulds that fit’, rather than ‘individuals who mould themselves by choice’, or ‘create the moulds’.
A few unfortunate ‘human moulds’ never graduate to being ‘individuals’. They take pride in claiming to be alumni/products of a certain institution, religion or political party. But they never realize if they have adopted a mind-set or lifestyle by choice, or they have been adopted by the institution. They just follow, and clash with all others who do not, to propound the unconsciously acquired beliefs. Do we realize that there are several commercial agencies hired to create social media content, to suit the vested interests of a few? We unquestioningly believe that to be the gospel truth, and keep propagating it further. Did it touch a chord somewhere? Yes. It did. But it also created several new chords that did not exist earlier, and which we will keep replaying for the rest of our lives, or till we awaken to the truth. •
These chords are meant to orient your thinking.
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These chords induce programmed responses.
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These chords unite people in a manner as the chips in a computer work together, but in an unprotected environment, without the anti-virus package.
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These chords multiply by copy-pasting, circulating and implanting mind-sets.
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These chords cause a mob to react, on the call of an invisible and unknown voice.
And these chords create beautiful music, when they own both the Voice and Choice. Go ahead, and use your anti-virus packages. Detox, Recreate and Make a Choice I borrow from Sara’s articles once again : Choice is an act of freedom not to be taken for granted. Even when all that we are experiencing, internally and externally, has robbed us of our choice in the matter, we are always left with one choice – to choose our response.
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We can love unconditionally because it comes from us, through us, internal to external process. We are in control of that regardless of the potential influences that we experience in society. It all boils down to choice versus control. This means that in spite of being in a conditioned society we have the freedom to choose to love unconditionally. If I believe in a concept, or the competence of the person propagating the concept, I will choose to get inspired and emulate and follow. I do not need a leash to be led. Anything that is not ‘Me’ will not stick for long, hence, I need to know what constitutes ‘Me’, or how do I want the future ‘Me’ to look like. That will light up the path ahead. And that is the only thing that an ‘aspiring leader’ needs to show me to ‘inspire’.
I dedicate this post to Sara Jacobovici on her special day, today. Thank you for being a companion on the road to self-discovery! May you be blessed with success, and continue to be the beacon of light for others! 61
When we Blame, we give our Power Away Monday 1 August 2016
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Greg Anderson has put it so succinctly and beautifully in the above quote. And yet, do we really comprehend the depth of the sentence? I came across a short story by Prashant Sharma on Quora. A bus full of passengers was on its journey. Suddenly the weather changed and there was a huge downpour and lightning all around. The passengers saw that lightning appeared to strike their bus but then it moved ahead without hitting the bus. After two or three such instances, the driver stopped the bus about fifty feet away from a tree and said – “We have somebody in the bus whose death is a certainty today. Because of that person everybody else will also get killed. I want each person to go one-by-one and touch the tree trunk and come back. Whosoever’s death is certain will get caught by the lightning and will die. But everybody else will be saved”. They had to force the first person to go and touch the tree and come back. He reluctantly got down from the bus and went and touched the tree. His heart leaped with joy when nothing happened and he was still alive. 62
This continued for the other passengers who were all relieved when they touched the tree and nothing happened. When it was the last passenger’s turn, everybody looked at him with accusing eyes. This passenger was also very afraid and reluctant. Everybody forced him to get down and go and touch the tree. With the fear of death, the last passenger walked to the tree and touched it. There was a huge sound of thunder and the lightning struck the tree across the street, which fell on the bus, and killed each and every passenger inside the bus. It was because of the presence of this last passenger that thus far, the entire bus was safe and lightning could not strike ! The Blamers’ Paradise Why do we keep playing the Blame Game all our life? 1. The Parent inside us All of us did not have a perfect pair of parents. Maybe, they blamed each other, and the neighbours, the in-laws, their bosses, the service guys and YOU. Marriage and Motherhood were the causes for your mother’s not-so-illustrious career, and she wistfully watched her single or childless colleagues rise up the ladder. It was her call of nobility or sainthood to prioritize her family. 63
Your father slogged for 18 hours to provide for the family he chose to have . Were you to be blamed for that? And yet, you felt guilty about being the cause of their discomfort, and pass it on to your spouse and children. It is a transfer of guilt, that was never yours. 2. Self-defense If I don’t slay the dragon, he will kill me. I have secured low marks in the examination. Immediately, I justify it with poor results of all my friends, the questions that were ‘out of the prescribed curriculum, my poor concentration after staying awake the previous night to study… or whatever our young, fertile imagination could cook up at that point of time. Self-defence is an acceptable motive for an act, that would otherwise, be classified as a crime. As soon as I pass the buck, I create a safe zone around myself. 3. Rationalization My parents, my boss and my friends have all done it at some point of time, and achieved success. The cause of my addiction is ……. Stress, this setback or loss in life, my partner or my boss. So, what is so wrong about it? 4. Expectation to be mirrored
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And why can’t that other person be more like the ideal person called ‘me’? If the driver in the car ahead drives too slow, he is a moron. If he drives too fast, he is a maniac. A difference in lifestyle or a mind-set is almost never pardoned. This is Narcissism at its harmful best. 5. Offence is the best defence Victimization of the adversary is an oft-used strategy in organizations and politics. Blame him for something, and put him on the defensive. You have effectively taken the wind out of his sails, and prevented him from raising uncomfortable questions. It is an imposed transfer of accountability. 6. Quest for sympathy If there is a victim, there has to be a perpetrator of injustice . If I gain by playing the victim, I need to create a ‘villain of the piece’. This can be done by framing charges, making allegations, converting figments of imagination to credible stories and constructing evidence to support my story. 7. Killing Competition A scandal is needed to drive the competitor away from my path to success. This is a common game played by nations, corporates, politicians and family members. A crisis can be manufactured, to serve as a framework for the game. 65
8. Instant popularity People love the gossip around a scandal. And this is effectively, used by attention-seekers to project themselves as a leader or ideal human being, as against the unfortunate victim. It is self-projection, by juxtaposition. Consequences The Blame Game is an addiction in itself, and an ingrained behaviour pattern. It gives •
An instant high.
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A feel-good factor.
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Makes one feel like a paragon of virtue.
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Creates a safety zone.
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Helps in building an image by the stance taken.
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Gives instant relief by transfer of accountability.
On the negative side, it can destroy relationships, create enmity and get the blamer isolated from the mainstream. This further drives the person into despair and misery, leading to a new cycle of the blame game Brene Brown sums it up in the hilarious video with a deep message – “Blame is a discharge of pain and discomfort”. Brenee Brown on The Blame game 66
She says “Accountability is inversely proportional to blame”. How true! Accountability Accountability is necessary. The malaise in society, family and workplace needs to be identified, for a solution to emerge. People need to work towards prevention of the malaise, and it cannot be done without accountability. Since self-discipline and responsibility are not common traits, accountability needs to be defined and called for, in case of failure. Total clarity of roles and accountability is needed for positive results. The so-called ‘grey or hazy areas’ are deliberately constructed to prevent self-accountability, and to facilitate the Blame Game. Escape becomes easier in a haze. external link(s): 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZWf2_2L2v8
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Just Facilitation, and a Little More ..... Monday 8 August 2016
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THE MILLENIAL MINDSET My nephew does not care about the college curriculum in Applied Arts, as he has already developed a clientele, after an internship in Graphic Designing. He works part-time, and maintains that the college text books do not help him in any way. They are just a necessary evil required to clear the examination, and get a degree, that the family insists on. That is the Millenial Mindset. They know how to go about their lives. The internet does not necessarily make one smarter, since we are just accessing readymade information, but it does create the illusion of ‘being smart’. And it applies to all age groups. The impact of this on analytical and creative faculties of the brain can be a separate subject to be discussed. As of now, we have to live with the facts, and structure cognitive learning processes to suit the needs. WHY ? In the corporate environment, several nuances of the conversation on conference calls go un-recorded. No heed is paid to the fact that people are multi-tasking – checking mails, logging in a call, replying to messages
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on the phone and communicating with the housekeeping staff or their one-down, at the same time. The book “The 5 Languages of Love” by Gary Chapman had changed my life a long time ago. The realization dawned that one person’s expression of love, does not necessarily meet the other’s expectations. I encountered the same problem in a different context, years later. I prefer the written word or chart in communication, in the form of text messages or mails, but my colleagues were comfortable with telephonic conversations. The fact that transmission of information about weekly business figures, stretched to a 20-minute long conversation, did not matter to them. I convinced myself, that they needed to let off steam, and explain why business was rocking or diving. It was also necessary for me to know the circumstances behind the numbers, and perhaps, a text message did not fulfil the requirement. But, what if I could read the text of their speech on a screen, and capture the relevant screenshots? It would satisfy my Visual orientation, and the Auditory of another. The same applies to learners with different orientations in a classroom. A judicious mix of audio-visual aids, text and illustrative games conveying the same point, is used in corporate training programs. Why not the same in school and college classrooms ? The Management Schools and Creative Arts do apply the techniques liberally, but what about several other conservative institutions ? HOW ? 69
1. M-learning and E-learning Learning needs to be customized to suit the learner’s needs – whether in an educational or corporate environment. This includes both the content and the medium. Sufficient choices need to be provided for the same. The cell phone will remain an important medium, and reduces costs of training considerably. All an employee needs is a smartphone, with an internet connection, and the content can be consumed anywhere, anytime, with time gaps in between, if so desired. 2. Facilitation The trainer or teacher is only a facilitator and co-learner, who provides constant feedback to the Content Developers for customization and updation of the curriculum. 3. Gamification Tablets, phones, phablets or any other new devices to be introduced will be an integral part of the learning process. The learners will be quick in accessing the required info, or get the required results in an embedded game.
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4. NLP Techniques and Multiple Intelligences The knowledge of Neuro-Linguistic Programming will be an essential and non-negotiable part of an instructional designer’s job. Multiple intelligences will need a customized feed. And all options will need to be provided on the same device. 5. Translation Devices Devices that do a quick translation from voice to text, and vice-versa, with real-time transmission will be needed. THEREFORE ‌. THE CHALLENGES 1. Reconfirmation Reconfirmations will be imperative, since the intent of the message could be lost in the process of translation. 2. Back-ups
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The information needed may be real-time or something that can be saved and seen later, and the required modalities need to be integrated in the work-flow. The video-footage in security cameras, and information about system interruptions is, at times, not available after a specified period. It creates uncalled-for hassles in resolving customer complaints, or tracking down a culprit. 3. Safety Training It may be too much to ask for invincible security systems, but a reasonable level of protection against information leakage needs to be ensured. The web is the most unsafe place for a novice or a child. 4. Legal support The laws of the land might need a complete overhaul, but is essential to the survival of any semblance of civility, in the system. 5. Sensitivity to mutual needs Orientation to the other person’s preferred style needs to be inculcated in the work culture, to prevent an adverse impact on team effectiveness. 6. A sound value system However old-fashioned it may sound, there is nothing that beats a sound value system, to prevent misuse of technology.
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Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not. By Oprah Winfrey. THE CALL It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. By  Charles Darwin.
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Is Positivity always the Answer? Thursday 11 August 2016
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The morning begins with a steaming cup of coffee, and a positivity message from well-wishers on social media.
This was followed by many more riding on popular waves and concepts. There is not a single person challenging the validity of these concepts? A singular effort draws immediate silence, and a diversion to other ‘safe’ topics. It chills my spine, irrespective of the warmth that envelops me in the bed. If this is supposed to set the tone for the day, why does nobody do a recap at the end of the day ? •
“What lessons did you learn during the day ?” 74
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“How will you carry the same to the next day ?”
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“ Have you developed a strategy to combat the negativity around you?”
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“ Are you well equipped to defend your own interest ?”
And most important of all, •
“Why have the Positive Things not happened today ?”
Because my perception does not alter reality. Chuck the dope.
Life is what happens while you are planning other things. What does one need to prepare for ? The unexpected battles that will need energy and strategy, or miraculous positivity?
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I fully agree that thoughts shape action, and action shapes our destiny. Hence, we become what we think. I disagree with the notion that being good and thinking positive will attract success and happiness. We cannot afford to remain oblivious of the obstacles and negativity in our path, and hope to be miraculously rewarded for good Karma. The proponents of virtue, need to demonstrate success achieved by virtue. Multiple-speak and multiple-think in the system, has confused and debilitated several capable but weak minds. The child in the Emperor’s story was fearless in calling out the Emperor’s name, since he was oblivious of the consequences that could befall him. Positivity is needed to overcome the fear, and speak out. “The Emperor has no clothes”. I see only Fear in the picture below, neither Grandeur nor Sycophancy. And Deception by a master manipulator, who succeeded in instilling fear of being singled out.
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The friend who makes an effort to inject cheer in my life, is not a manipulator. S/he is fearful of being singled out for being aloof, a non-believer, a spoilsport. And there are millions who play along, while losing all opportunities to Stand Out. All capable and intelligent people need to be vigilant, against becoming tools in the power games of manipulators. The strategies employed by the manipulators (I will not call them leaders) of the system, are designed to suit their own success, by stunting the development of the mainstream. Strategy #1 – Keep them busy It takes a dimwit or an inexperienced child to say ‘The Emperor has no clothes�. But the dimwit remains a dimwit, a short-term hero for his fearless words, and the Emperor remains an Emperor.
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While the Emperor imagines his grand robes, and a customized wardrobe to house the same, the Devil has built a designer castle for himself, with the astronomical amount the Emperor has paid. People need to remain busy with small battles, small achievements and small joys. It prevents awareness of the total picture, and a consequent uprising and revolution. Strategy #2 Keep them dreaming And better, if in a state of deep REM sleep or somnambulism. It reduces sensitivity to the web of control around them. How many people out there are peddling miracles, from the Miracle Godmen to the people promising “5 or 9 or 15 secrets to success”, and you emerge from the program, just poorer by a few grands? Dreams sell, and dream-weavers are the richest segments of society. Strategy #3 Keep them working How often have we heard the words “I hear a lot of good things about you. Keep up the good work” in the power corridors, with a friendly pat on the shoulder ? Why do the powerful never bother to back it up with their first-hand opinions, or awareness of your achievements ? While you remain in your euphoria, busy with good work to strengthen the base of the pyramid, the smart strategist has climbed up to the peak. 78
You were never supposed to know what was happening up there, in the rarefied atmosphere. The worker bees are needed to build the hive, while the Queen feeds on Royal jelly, and expands her empire. Strategy #4 Keep them feeling guilty Unachievable standards of perfection are set. Can you be a selfless God, who sacrificed all for the benefit of his fellow-beings ? It keeps you feeling inadequate, and too small to question the selfish acts of others. Move the goalposts frequently, change timeframes, so you never gain satisfaction of having reached somewhere. Your achievements are denigrated, because that ‘something else’ was not achieved. Who has not experienced this in annual performance appraisals ? Or in being the parent who has been squeezed out of the last penny, by a selfish and errant offspring ? Strategy #5 Keep them intoxicated The opium of Religion, Political loyalty, drugs all keep you safely inoculated against Awareness. What you don’t know cannot hurt you. What you don’t know cannot be questioned. What you don’t know does not depress or demotivate you. People who do not expend effort to understand, remain a loyal and subservient workforce to the masters. And you travel through this lifetime, happy and sedated.
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This is your Phone Speaking -- ABOUT YOU Wednesday 24 August 2016
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“My phone died on me…….” I hear a horrified statement from an executive, who sounded as if he was marooned on an island with no help in sight. Power banks, one-minute chargers have all been invented to prevent these shocking ‘deaths’, that throws a sane person totally out of gear. Sure, there is an ancient relic on the desk, called the ‘landline’, which draws power from an electrical point, but what about the numbers, the messages, the web connectivity? Anyway …. The cell-phone is a fundamental need, at the base of the pyramid of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. But, what you like doing with it, gives away a lot about your personality traits. Be Aware ! 1. The Web-Surfing Addicts I confess to being one of them. Long telephone calls are considered to be a disturbance, which keep them away from the web or apps, or whatever catches their internet fancy. Also, a written message makes far more sense, than a long conversation.
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2. The Compulsive Callers They just need to speak to say whatever they have in mind, and at a time convenient to them. Messaging and email platforms are considered to be inadequate forums for expression. They may be too lazy to type, or think that it takes too much time. There may be a lurking fear of commitment, or of putting things in black and white. It is easier to retract a spoken word. The internet does not forget anything, even if it is a deleted message. You might catch yourself stuttering to get across, with great difficulty “But…. Please, Can I call you back later ? I am in the midst of something”. They do not give you the space to speak. 3. The Control Freaks 82
The phone is always in silent mode. They do not take calls even if they are free, and reserve the right to return the calls as per their choice and convenience. The message is ‘You would better know who is the boss out here…. ’ 4. The Stuffed Shirts One often hears them saying ‘ ASK HIM TO CALL ME.’ When the other person does, the ubiquitous reply is ‘ I am busy now. Call me after half an hour.’ Then, they address the person facing them, ‘Oh! So-and-so (name dropped) has been trying to speak to me for hours. I have just been tied up so much.’ And so on …. Only people crawling on their knees to talk, can satisfy their bloated egos (or fill up the massive emptiness inside). All others prefer sending a mail or message, rather than speak to these pompous perverts. 5. The Trumpet-Blowers They pick up the phone, and take off on a self-glorifying spree, as soon as they spot an unsuspecting victim, in the vicinity. Their business achievements, details of their net worth, the power and popularity they enjoy, the luxurious lifestyle and latest conquests are all flaunted, 83
while the hapless listener waits to start the actual conversation. You may not be surprised to discover that there was nobody at the other end. And the Trumpet-Blower does not realize that only his/her hollowness has been exposed. 6. The Bull Horns The volume of their conversation is loud enough for half the office to hear, and only God knows why they need to pace up and down the corridor, while doing that. Their power battles and kids’ howlers are all laid out for public consumption.
'That was a very interesting cell phone conversation. Thanks for sharing it with me.'
7. The Annoying Attendees
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These are the obnoxious participants in conference calls. They forget to press the ‘Mute’ button before taking a call on the cell, or ‘accidentally’ put the entire call on hold and go out for a walk. I have seen a top executive taking his aunt’s call to enquire about his welfare, in between a call, where he was introducing a new incentive scheme. If you happen to be on a social media website, or care to check the time later, you find some of them ‘liking’ girlie pics, while the call is in progress. ‘Who cares about conference calls? They take up more than half of your office hours’ is the implicit message. 8. The Escapists They call you for a discussion, and then, refuse to take their eyes off the bewitching LCD screen. They walk through hallways and sidewalks with hunched shoulders, averting eye contact with any human being in a physical shape. The virtual people are always a safer bet.
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9. Text Messages Only I came across a rant from a consultant this morning, whose client responded as follows : ‘Sorry, I did not hear the ring. Actually, you are the only one who calls me’. The consultant confessed to feeling as old as the Egyptian Pyramids, and just managed to mumble, ‘No worries. It was just to inform that I am on my way to see you’. This was perhaps a clash between two personality types. 10. The Well-Mannered This is the only agreeable species.
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They do not take calls between a conversation, except with an “Excuse me, this is urgent’ , and then keep it as short as possible. If they are busy, they return calls with a ‘In a meeting. Will call you later’ message, and then, actually call back. They respond to all messages, whether it is an ‘Okay’ to acknowledge receipt, or the expected action to be taken. They close the door before embarking on a private or sensitive conversation. They inform the person at the other end that s/he is on speakerphone, and who else is on the call, before switching it on. So, hold that thing tight in your palm. Lest it spills out all the beans.
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Professionalism Sunday 13 November 2016
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Professionalism is very simply defined as competence or skill expected of a professional’.
‘the
A rather long-winded one comes from a website for small business , “Professionalism is often defined as the strict adherence to courtesy, honesty and responsibility when dealing with individuals or other companies in the business environment. This trait often includes a high level of excellence going above and beyond basic requirements. Work ethic is usually concerned with the the personal values demonstrated by business owners or entrepreneurs and instilled in the company’s employees. The good work ethic may include completing tasks in a timely manner with the highest quality possible and taking pride in completed tasks" However, this one includes a work ethic on the part of both employers and the employees, as an integral part of professionalism.Certain apex professional organizations for doctors, chartered accountants, company secretaries etc. have defined and laid down the norms for the community, and created accountability based on it. However, ethics and professionalism in a corporate are hugely interdependent, and raises many questions on implementability. 88
Independent employee-centric behaviour •
Professional dress and etiquette
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Courtesy
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Punctuality
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Excellence
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Competency
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Compartmentalization of work responsibilities and leisure activities.
Dependent behavior pattern 1. Fairness in employee elevations and allocation of assignments To what extent does the boss’s boss interfere with these decisions? 2. Professional decision-making Not possible in absence of support from the top. 3. Non-indulgence in gossip Clear differentiation between grapevine sensitivity, market intelligence and gossip. Employees are encouraged to act as informers or implants. 4. Respect for experience and expertise Blatant favoritism kills this.
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5. Respect for others’ rights Demonstration needed from the top . Organizational culture un-professionalism •
that
spawns
Display of tolerance and encouragement for non-professional behaviour will serve in re-inforcement of the same. e.g. A favored coterie being allowed to indulge in undesirable behavior.
2. Display of unprofessional behavior by the top management e.g. business being run as personal fiefdoms, success achieved by pyrotechnic energy of tyrannical individuals, management discretion being the euphemism for favoritism and unethical practices. 3. Lack of integrity Integrity is about thought, speech and action being in sync. Multiple-speak at different times and on different platforms does not escape the employees’ attention. 4. Use of Foul language starting from the top. 5. Tolerance of Sexual harassment/ womanizing at the work-place Tolerance equals encouragement in this case, and has a multiplier effect. 6. Corridor declarations This is used as a semi-official indicator of the power structure, and can discourage several other quiet but capable aspirants.
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The million-dollar question is Can professionalism be a one-way street? •
If the response of a boss to work-related matters is based on extraneous factors, how do you expect the employee to remain professional?
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If a capable and honest employee has been repeatedly let down for non-professional reasons, what is the response expected?
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If lobbying is used as a strategy for business domination or sharing the spoils, how does the average employee act or react?
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If no-reply is an accepted form of declining a request, for how long does an employee wait, or how does s/he know the reason for rejection?
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If internal conflicts are built in the system, with a Divide-and-Rule intention, how do members of different teams respond to each other?
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If people are repeatedly treated as being ‘too small in the system‘ to influence decision-making, how is any positive contribution expected in future?
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external link(s): 1. http://smallbusiness.chron.com/importance-professionalismbusiness-2905.html
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The Important Thing is not to Stop Questioning Sunday 27 November 2016
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So said Albert Einstein, and here is some more wisdom that I can propagate. Hope locates itself in the premises that we don’t know what will happen, and that in the spaciousness of uncertainty is room to act. When you recognize uncertainty, you recognize that you may be able to influence the outcomes — you alone or you in concert with a few dozen or several million others. Hope is an embrace of the unknown and the unknowable, an alternative to the certainty of both optimists and pessimists. Optimists think it will all be fine without our involvement; pessimists take the opposite position; both excuse themselves from acting. It’s the belief that what we do matters even though how and when it may matter, who and what it may impact, are not things we can know beforehand. We may not, in fact, know them afterward either, but they matter all the same, and history is full of people whose influence was most powerful after they were gone. Rebecca Solnit Loyalty is an alignment with another, and its virtues have been extolled as the glue that holds together organizations and relationships. Unquestioning loyalty is 93
another matter. The glue that holds it is a hope of being the future benefactor of privileges and a partner in the spoils, or a fear of repercussions. The room to act is subject to terms and conditions. Timothy Keiningham and Lerzan Aksoy, in their book “Why Loyalty Matters’ have listed the 10 components that build the loyalty mindset: •
Leadership
I can carry people with me. 2. Reliance They will take care of me. 3. Empathy I know what it is like, to be in their shoes. 4. Security One needs a network to survive. 5. Calculative-ness Standing by them will help me gain …… 6. Connectedness I am a social animal, and need clusters to live in. 7. Independence This alignment protects me from being a slave to another. 94
8. Traditionalism There is safety in continuity and consistency. 9. Emotion-focused coping I will share. 10. Problem-based coping I will analyse with logic and reason. I presume that Hope precedes these 10, and Action follows, as both do not figure in the list. Nor do Analysis and Discretion, but I desperately hope, that they lie behind each of the ten mind-sets. The beauty of having a perspective, is that like the ten blind men, one never sees the whole elephant in the room. My pet biases: •
Only the first and last make sense, as they encompass the meaning of informed Action.
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The first depends on the last, as leadership builds Hope by using Informed Choice.
SOCIAL (MEDIA) RESPONSIBILITY The absence of education hinders the process of making a choice based on logic, though everybody has a rationale for doing something. Television content is an influencer, but we have practically no control on that. Switching of channels might be the only choice that an individual can exercise. Social media content is more of an influencer, as the messenger is someone you know 95
and can connect with. Shareability on multiple platforms multiplies your power to influence. Of course, there are the opposing and competing voices. You slog to find and circulate content to prove your point, and exponentially increase the noise. If your loyalty and alignment are based on assured potential gains , I wish you all the best. The onus of self-defence is on the recipient. However, if that is not the case, think before you post or push. When we blindly forward an unverified post, or endorse messages with an emoticon, we contribute to creating a belief. Belief turns into loyalty and action, which may not be based on verifiable facts. Do we really need to take an obstinate stance, alienate people we have known for ages and divide our social groups into camps, for returns that are not assured? Why not refuse to manipulate or be manipulated? "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." - Daniel J. Boorstin You are currently being deceived Social media manipulate external link(s): 1. http://conversionxl.com/online-manipulation-all-the-ways-yourecurrently-being-deceived/ 2. http://illusionofmore.com/social-media-manipulate/
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Self Esteem is not Enough Thursday 29 September 2016
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Being naïve was the bane of my professional life in the beginning. And being aware continues to be an educator in the more enlightened years. I have recently witnessed the fall of three public figures, whom I initially considered as game changers. THE INDEPENDENT GOVERNOR One was the governor of the central bank of the country. His competence was unquestionable, ethics laudable and courage unparalleled. He valued his independence, and fought for his rights to keep it. He targeted inflation, and launched a drive to clean up balance sheets of banks, by bringing out the concealed weaknesses and addressing them. He was called the Rockstar Governor, due to his popularity amongst the masses. However, his candour in calling a spade a spade, was not found to be politically correct. The high profile loan defaulters in the banking system, saw a threat to their security. The backlash started with a discreet smear campaign. Articles which started with lauding his achievements, moving on to point out minor failures, and disapproving of his personal communication style, were steadily released in the media. Then, came a strong, slanderous attack from a fellow 97
economist-turned politician, who questioned the Governor’s foreign education and understanding of the national scenario. Strong individuals do have a high sense of self-respect, and he reacted …. by quitting the governor’s post. He presented his side of the story in public, but it was too late. And his admirers did not hold power. He was replaced by an economist, with a low public profile. That ensured the freedom of the political bosses to do what they like. STARTUP ENTHUSIAST A brilliant guy dropped out of a premier educational institution, to set up his business, and managed to secure a high level of funding. He was hailed as the hero of the millennial population, and the future of the country. His intellectual brilliance was never questioned by anyone. He distributed a large chunk of his shares amongst the employees, to the people who contributed to the company. But, alas and once again, his candour invited the ire of bullies. He had the gumption to say that the board members could not equal his brilliance, or understand what he says. He was chucked out unceremoniously, after a public slander campaign. Immaturity, ineptness, impractical approach …. Or just plain COURAGE. THE ‘NON-POLITICIAN’ CHIEF MINISTER 98
A civil servant quit the Indian Revenue Service, because he could not gel with the corrupt system. He ran a NGO, won the Magsaysay Award, and turned into a Human Rights Activist. He led a national anti-corruption campaign, and was catapulted to the position of a national icon for clean governance. He believed that he could clean up the political system, by entering it, and was elected as the Chief Minister of a Union Territory with an overwhelming majority. People did want clean governance, but not the rest of the political system. He was a whistleblower, and posed a threat to top level politicians. Again, the mafia sprung in action. Sting operations, frame-ups, negative publicity, legal challenges, political manipulations and extreme negativity from his boss – the Lt. Governor of the Union Territory, turned him into a wreck. A special cell works only to undermine him. And trolls are the best weapon that bullies have. They work without knowing what or whom are they working for. Maybe, it gives them a high. Maybe, they use it to vent their pent-up frustrations on other issues. They do succeed in releasing an enormous amount of negativity in the system.
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His bane was his inability to find clean and like-minded colleagues in the political system, and lack of political maturity. The battle has not ended, but the system has succeeded in breaking down a honest person, by compressing him from all sides. NOBODY LIKES A REBEL People worship the rising sun, and ironically, the victims follow the perpetrators. They believe that they are choosing the ‘safer evil’, due to the power they hold. A whistle-blower in the banking sector has this to say about his experience: “Well, they did not fire me a blessed day. They retaliated against me in every imaginary way possible. But sometimes you have to deal with your conscience. I said ‘No’ to play to market, ‘No’ to play to insider trading. Consequently, in a 35-year career, for the first time, I was unemployed.” 100
MY PERSONAL STORY Ethics and idealism was a choice that I made, and I will continue to live by that. But it has not served me well. We console ourselves by thinking of the goodwill generated, and the people who look up to you. They are around, but unable to help, when you need support. Just for the fact, that people who admire idealism are struggling with their own lives, and need similar support. Law, politics or business do not provide for structures that provide this kind of support. The so-called support networks provide a good service, but do not wield power or influence in the system. And this is where the Bully wins! LEARN FROM THE BULLIES What does the bully do, that we cannot or choose not to do? •
Create sustained pressure.
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Keep people on the defensive. They lose their power to offend.
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Use exclusion as a psychological weapon.
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Divide and rule.
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Stoop to a level, where the honest cannot reach. They have high standards.
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Strengthen mutual bonds within the bully network.
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Cut off aid and help from all sides. 101
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Drive the victim against a wall.
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Influence public opinion with a malicious slander campaign.
Evil, corruption, manipulation and crime are the strongest glue to create impenetrable networks. One weak link can expose everyone else, and hence, they always support each other, in their own interest. The bully wins because law, economics, politics and business do not challenge him. They are extreme narcissists or extremely insecure individuals. The intellectuals and idealists are fiercely independent people, who live in ivory towers, and believe that they do not need support. Do we realize that we need to support each other, to serve our long-term self-interest, even if there is no short term gain? Or are we taking a stand that the Future is not our business? It is okay to leave it in the hands of Bullies. THE MYTH OF POSITIVITY
No. Self-confidence and self-esteem will not help you to defeat the bullies.
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A strategic plan, a sustained initiative, a combat force in action and world-wide initiatives are needed.
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Why should Coaching Start Early? Sunday 11 December 2016
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B eing at home indicates a level of comfort, not a brick-and-mortar structure that provides shelter. I love to be with like-minded people, who share my perspectives, or at least, do not disparage me. I love the warmth of acceptance and easy camaraderie. I love floating on similar wavelengths, running/swimming/flying/net-surfing to catch others, and have others follow me. The ground that I run on, the waters that I swim in, the winds that help me fly expose me to several other worlds. I will always work for the cause of the Homeless, as I have never had a Home. Well, this is a creative piece with a strong metaphor running through it. REALITY IS SIMPLER THAN THAT •
The ecosystems that I operate in, and the virtual domains that I skim through in a day, are my concept of home.
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I am a global citizen, with international communication, being a part of my daily routine.
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Virtual reality and Augmented Reality might take my life and thoughts to a different level.
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My identity is defined by my digital signatures -- user ids and passwords. Biometrics are my last link to the physical world.
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Boundary lines extend and expand a little more every day, to accommodate my imagination and ambition.
HOW DOES IT IMPACT LEARNING? •
Learning happens all the time, and through multiple mediums.
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Learning is a self-driven activity. I only need facilitators.
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Information is being thrown at me all the time, and I pick and choose from available information.
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But this information is also structured, tailored and manipulated, yet, it constitutes my reality.
How will I see things from your perspective? HOW DOES IT IMPACT COACHING AND TRAINING? While it is generally agreed, that video-based tutorials, gamification and mobile learning are the way to go, the content strategy needs to be specific to job or study needs. 105
The content should be available online, and just-in-time, as a search engine is the first avenue that we approach for help. •
Content should be relateable to the trainee’s world, and in bite-sized modules, to retain attention.
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Virtual reality and Augmented Reality will be the medium, not the message.
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Classroom training will be an assortment of games and activities. Pedagogy will be eliminated.
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The context will need to be created in the work situation, for a concept to sink in.
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Content will need to be updated frequently, hence, the technology should be flexible enough to allow that.
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Artificial intelligence can be used to create simulated environments to facilitate learning.
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Trainers will exist at the back-end, designing content and the user interfaces.
CHALLENGES 1. Emotional Intelligence The challenge of designing will lie in traversing the path from perception to emotion to logic, in a short span of time. Emotions are the sandwich layer between stimulus and action, and will need to be leveraged accordingly.
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The Scientific American video gives an interesting illustration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8s5jx5paV4 2. Managing Contradictions in Information Contradictory facts will emerge quickly. Peer group information has a higher impact. A central logic like guidelines from regulatory bodies, or research-backed evidence needs to be used at industry level. The applications can be user-specific. 3. Managing Contradictions in Human Behavior Human behavior has always had inherent contradictions, like developing a rationale to justify actions that suit the self, but defy a larger logic. This is often seen in the behavior related to health or environmental issues. A conflict might exist between loyalty to the organization or profession or the Boss. The barrage of motivated content, and edited highlights of incidents and statements tend to prevent a holistic view. WILL COACHING AND MENTORING HELP? Yes. Coaching needs to start early in life, as it helps in connecting various parts of a whole, and developing a stronger sense of self. The people who go through this process, are less malleable, and better prepared to face eventualities with confidence. A mentor can keep them grounded, and help them relate to the reality around them, having been through 107
the grind earlier. A mentor can override the influence of the peer group, with the tangible benefits that the engagement provides. Mentoring is an essential follow-up to coaching, to ensure retention and application of learning. A mentor does not walk in the mentee’s shoes. S/he has been through a separate growth process, in a different set of circumstances. Yet, the mentor is the most important link between the past and present, for the mentee. The linkages between cause-and-effect, and the universality of this phenomenon (if clearly visible in the mentor’s experience), lends credibility to the learning. The mentor is a live simulation to help understanding, and facilitates absorption of learning.
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How Value-Neutral is the concept of Power? Wednesday 21 December 2016
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WHAT IS POWER? The dictionary defines power as the ‘ability or capacity to do something in a particular way’. Going by this, every living being possesses power of some kind. •
Physical power
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Knowledge power
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Power of hierarchy
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Special abilities either gifted by nature, or developed with meditation. These are often termed as supernatural powers. Actually, they might arise from awakening of certain parts of the brain, which are dormant in the majority of living beings.
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Power of wealth
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Power of information
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Power of research
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Power of experience
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Power of creativity
The comparatives drawn converted power to a sense of superiority over others. The definition then shifts to ‘the ability to do something better than others’. It leaves each person free to develop and use their power in the social structure that they live in. INTENT AND APPLICATION OF POWER How do people intend to use their power? Power is used for self-defence by both animals and human beings, and it can be justified on the grounds, that self-preservation is the first instinct of life. Power is also used to protect and defend the weak. I had the pleasure of bringing up three beautiful kittens in my house for 5 months, as their mother deemed it to be a safe place. We watched her training the babies to jump, climb trees and perform several other actions. On certain nights, she would bring a rat in her mouth, and call out with a different sound. Not wanting a dead rat to be devoured on the living room carpet, we never opened the door. As they grew up, the neighbors in the building started complaining of the ruckus the hyperactive trio created. The mother had given birth to another brood, and had lost interest in this trio. We sent them to a friend’s farm house, where they could grow up in open spaces. They had to be sedated and packed in a
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basket, before they were driven off. It was a heart-wrenching use of power. The first night saw them frightened and huddled together, as they saw the last familiar figure of the driver disappear from the farm. Their bed and meal-bowls were all sent with them. On the next morning, the friend who owned the farmhouse, found a dead rat on the window sill. Their natural instincts had taken over, and they managed to kill the rat. But they had carefully placed it out of way, not knowing that this is a meal. Meals for them, were served in a bowl. We had interfered with their life-skill learning process, by not letting their mother in, on those nights. The separation was traumatic for me, and I still nurse a feeling of guilt on having let them go. My husband maintains that we acted in their best interest, by giving them a better habitat to grow and live in. Here, creeps in the question of Intent. And situations are far more complex than the story of my kittens. •
Is it for the greater good of the world?
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Is it in line with the principles of Human Rights and Animal Rights?
When is Power deemed to corrupt? It starts when the intent and application are not determined by the larger good of the larger section of life in the world. Power used for aggrandisement of personal gains may be acceptable, as long as it does not hurt the interest of another. 111
A conflict of interest is where Power starts assuming a negative form, and the concept of Values comes in. It is actually the Intent and Application of Power that generate controversies, not the concept of Power on its own. VALUE-NEUTRALITY OF POWER ‘Values are principles or standards of behavior; one's judgement of what is important in life.’ Judgement is a subjective matter, hence, cannot be always assumed to align to the highest standard of ethics. Value neutrality does not imply not having a personal value system. It just implies the non-application of a personal approach, to a larger platform. It is often discussed in the context of social sciences, politics and scientific research. The principle of ‘larger good of humanity or living beings’ is a value, which leads us to infer that application of Power needs to be held in check. Else, the actions are likely to be guided by ‘larger interest of those who hold Power’. A value has been applied. The application of power, thus, cannot be value-neutral. Power, merely, treated as a physical or sublime force that can move something, is not subject to values, unless, it is wielded by a human being.
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To Merge, Rebel or Stand Out ? Monday 20 June 2016
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‘Blending in’ as opposed to ‘Standing Out’ has been a topic of long-standing debate. We PREFER to blend in, but LOVE to stand out. The Personal Branding Industry thrives on the concept of ‘standing out’. A sales pitch succeeds or fails at the altar of “Unique Selling Proposition”? Being Unique is fine, but do you also fill in a slot that the market needs? The pointers move towards striking a balance between the two, rather than choosing one option over another. How much do you blend in, and how much do you stand out ? To what extent does your identity depend on the framework of society, and to what extent are you an indestructible unit called the Individual ? Can a rebel be described as a destabilizing ‘free radical’, or a carrier of change ? •
Submerging identity
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2. Maintaining a slight edge
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3. Creating a slot to stand out
4. Thought Leadership
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Crossroads are dividers, whereas intersections are connectors. The final shape depends on the integration of the various elements. CROSSROADS ARE DIVIDERS
These are indicative personality types, which do not always move in a linear pattern. Various stages could overlap, or a different ‘cause and effect’ pattern could 116
have a disruptive impact. It could result in a positive revolution or a borderline personality disorder. This is an opinion based on observation and analysis, not a result of research. •
Followers
These are the lethargic sections of the population, who do not exert, or exhort themselves to think. They choose the easiest option of ‘following the beaten path’. 2. Conformists They prefer the security of belonging to the majority. These are people of reasonable to high intelligence, who believe that all progress happens within the confines of acceptable social norms, and rebellion is the path to destruction. 3. Discretionary Thinkers They observe, analyse, conclude and then, choose a path of action. The chosen path could be based on expediency, convenience, perceived advantages, values or beliefs. But a thought process precedes all action. 4. Thinker/Leader/Innovator Thought leaders are born at this stage, as they move from perception to conception, and then, find productive applications for their ideas. A negative experience at Stage 3 or 4 can alter the thought process or the personality structure. Capability and positive traits which are not rewarded, lead to 117
discontent and unrest. Attempts by the power structure to suppress the voice of sanity, sow the seed of rebellion. This could be an individual, or group of people across an organization or geography. People  with a similar thought process, common voice or shared interests bond to create a common platform. This could go on to create a revolution, or fizzle out. The right time, socio-economic and political forces all create the soil for the rise or fall of a rebellion. Hence, ideas and concepts are often described as premature, rather than irrelevant or impossible. Vested interests could also invoke mob reactions to stage a pseudo-rebellion, but that is beyond the purview of this piece. INTERSECTIONS ARE CONNECTORS Intersections are meeting points or shared spaces. They assume meaning depending on the degree of divergence or convergence generated between varying viewpoints.
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This is the point in the thought process, that shapes a personality. One should be able to entertain and examine other views, without accepting them. Leadership of any style stems from this point. In order to exist, man must rebel, but rebellion must respect the limits that it discovers in itself - limits where minds meet, and in meeting, begin to exist. ----- By Albert Camus A beautiful quote from an unknown source : We shape our buildings. Thereafter they shape us. And the resultant structure is called Personality. external link(s): 1. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/albertcamu588237.html?src= t_rebel 2. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/albert_camus.html
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Junk the Pride to De-junk your Life Wednesday 22 June 2016
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De-cluttering, De-toxification, Re-organization are the terms we so routinely come across, in our initiatives for improvements in the house, wardrobe, mailbox, memory cards, mind or soul. And yet, we never really reach the Zen state. If we do, we tire of it soon enough, and move back to a cluttered existence. Back in our childhood days, we owned very little compared to our family members, and took pride in collecting stones, marbles, crayons, broken dolls and wheels, whatever caught our fancy. Soon enough, we compared them with what our peer group owned, and developed a pride in our belongings. The humble belongings were gradually replaced with finer and better stuff, but we mentally, we never really grew up. The drive to hoard remained the same. Not realizing that if we hoard the Old, we are unable to create space for the New. This applies to furniture, wardrobes, art collections, thought processes, emotions, behaviour patterns and everything that we call a ‘habit’. For sure, we cannot throw out the baby with the bathwater. The most horrifying examples that one comes across are those of victims of domestic violence, or their daughters who choose similar partners again. This 120
happens because we cannot have, say 40% or 60% of a person. The partner needs to be accepted as a package deal. There was something about the perpetrator that the victim had once liked, and s/he is unable to give it up. They never come out of the loop, unless they can gather the courage to give up certain things that were once addictive or attractive. De-junking is a thought process that involves the following : •
Decide what you value .
The values of integrity or the ambition to be rich that your parents instilled in you, that classic mink coat, the jewels with a money tag, the blue-chip stocks that you own. They create your financial and emotional security, and will be your companions for a lifetime. You can always fall back on them, when in need. Treasure them and keep it with utmost care. Beauty is but the sensible image of the Infinite. Like truth and justice, it lives within us. Like virtue and the moral law, it is a companion of the soul – George Bancroft. •
Prioritize whatever you value .
These are personal choices and needs, that change from time to time. How do you organize your storage space ? Accessibility in order of priority, is the principle to be applied. The negative experience can be pushed back, if it is a life lesson that you learnt, or can push you 121
to future achievements. They remain an invisible driving force, the support system that runs the showroom. The companion for an evening, and the companion for a lifetime require very different qualifications – Samuel Richardson. 3. Dispose the items of least value. Can you find a taker for them ? The beggar on the pavement who needs a blanket, somebody who can recycle garments for their use, a protégé or progeny who benefits from your experience and advice, a book or diary to record your experience, a club where you share your life stories. It all works – to get it out of your system. Giving is not just about charity, it is about finding another user. •
Bring in the new.
You are now wise enough to recognize if the new items have long-term or short-term value, and what should be the proportion of money or effort expended on that. The ‘older you’ can dress well with a few classic pieces. Balance sheets are ephemeral, organizational culture has a longer lifespan. You don’t need to watch every new movie or TV show to keep up with your peer group. Learn new skills, read about new concepts that fit your present mental make-up. The brain has a limited memory. The fairy tales need to be replaced by new philosophies and concepts. 122
A Zen mind is a beginner’s mind that keeps you young forever. •
Create heirlooms.
Your beach house, the limousine, the book that you write, the organizational/social/political culture that you build, the trends that you set need all your effort and skills. This is what will justify your existence, not what you collected, took pride in and disposed .
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2 THINKING MAPS
The Four Levels of Influence Monday 20 June 2016
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The biggest disappointment in life is to make an appeal to the highest level of consciousness or values in another individual, and discover non-existence of the same. The Art of Influencing Others has been celebrated in realms of psychology, and covered enormous reams of paper, to establish theories of leadership, teaching, sales, change management and reforms. Yet, very little has been said about the extent to which the recipient opens up the self, to get influenced. A lot of effort is expended in creating content and plans to influence, without creating receptivity for the same. •
The Superficial Layer
This is the outermost layer of consciousness, which just reacts at the first touch point. The emotion could be awe, admiration, appreciation, horror or repulsion. An appeal to this layer can be used to trigger •
Likes on Instagram and Facebook
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Impulse buying
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Immediate Consumption
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Competitive indulgence 126
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Quick show of hands on a controversial issue
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Quick sign-up
There is no analysis or reflection involved, and the induced behaviour is not sustainable. The individual can withdraw consent, switch sides or change views. 2. The Reflective Layer This is the level at which the analytical and reflective mind comes into the picture. The individual correlates things with previous experience, compares, juxtaposes and arrives at a conclusion. This behaviour is in alignment with individual likes and dislikes, and is comparatively more sustainable. The individual continues to be influenced by the external environment. They define themselves in terms of their wealth, social status, professional and business achievements. They carry the influence of their parents, bosses and mentors. The self is not yet identified, and the external environment can be used to manipulate choices. An appeal to this part of the mind triggers lifestyle and career choices. •
Choice of travel destinations
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Choice of clubs
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Career-enhancing moves, which may involve a change of location or stream.
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Indulgence in hobbies that enhance the social circle
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Marriage, rather than dating.
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Starting a family
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Owning houses and classy vehicles
3. The Established Identity Layer Unfortunately, this layer is discovered after facing disappointment and setbacks in life. The choices made at the first two levels have failed to deliver. The individual looks inwards, and decides that the choices made were not as per his core identity, his real self. He knows who he really is. At this stage, the person derives pleasure from giving rather than receiving, consuming knowledge rather than material things, aligns his actions to who he wants to be, chooses stuff that is compatible with his core identity. The thoughts and emotions are examined, and changed to suit the needs of his enhanced sense of self. The choices made are long-lasting, now, as consumption has been internalized. One looks forward to enriching and enhancing the self, not just satisfying an impulse. Selling to an individual at this stage becomes more and more difficult. They just need to be informed about the various options available, and they make their own choices. The only thing that one can push is information. 4. The Core Individual 128
This is the spiritual level of existence. One eats only what is needed for a healthy body, spends time in meditation and thinking, and engages in acts of service. The vocation or profession has to be in alignment with these needs. They are closer to the state of being, than active living and changing.
Selling is impossible, as the individual had ceased to be a buyer. The individual will move out of his zone, to find whatever is needed for sustenance or service, and will acquire it at the lowest cost. They will seek out the supplier, not the seller, in times of need. The products for this segment of the population are sold to the children, healthcare centres, old age havens and NGOs looking after them, rather than directly to the consumer. The Stages Beyond Various thinkers and authors have defined 7 to 10 levels of consciousness. But the individual moves more and more towards being a spiritual being, being Energy and being a Giver, rather than being Matter or a Consumer. 129
He is totally beyond the realms of Influence, as the concept is popularly known. They have moved over to being Influencers by Example, and connectivity to the world has moved to a different level altogether. The four levels of existence, at which an individual can/cannot be influenced, broadly, superimposes on the Maslow’s hierarchy. This is except for a certain degree of co-existence between the layers now. The figure depicted on the cover, is not a pyramid, not concentric circles, but ellipses that touch each other at a point. They do not have a sharp line that demarcates. The flow of energy from one level to another can create shifts in behaviour patterns. The resultant patterns comprise the exceptional layer, which often characterize the protagonists in literature and other forms of creative fiction. I often baulk at the efforts a bright and well-trained salesperson, to sell me a product, which is either substandard, not needed or unaffordable. The salesperson has failed to identify the range in which I function, and hence, chooses to waste time on me. Browsing online firmly places the choice at the click of the mouse, and gives me a sense of being in control. The same applies to a website, blog, book, movie or any other product. Maybe, augmented reality is an effort to enter this zone of user-orientation and user control. I look forward to the experience.
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6 steps away from yourself Saturday 23 July 2016
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It feels like an eerie shot from a paranormal movie. I stand back, and watch myself. I see myself working in the much-desired state of Flow. The theme occurred to me in a split second, and then, a force took over. I do not know what is driving me, but I keep clicking the mouse, and banging the keyboard. Maybe, the incoherence of thought shows in the final product. Maybe, the clarity attained illuminates the piece. I couldn’t care less. Meditation, awakening of the spirit, and enlightenment have all been bombastic words, associated with the Yogis and intellectuals. The small and insignificant me did not think about making an effort in that direction. And yet, it just took a few knocks in life, and some concentrated focus to send me on a voyage of self-discovery. A casual remark from a friend shook me up from my reverie. “I am glad this happened. It helped me to discover myself, and know what I want from life”. What drives us to this point? 1. CONFLICT 131
Why does it always take a conflict of some kind to help us see ourselves in a different light? Do we need that juxtaposition to see our inner reality? The answer appeared. We need a proverbial cat to unwind the ball of yarn, before we devise a process to put it back together. We need to understand •
the stretchability of the yarn.
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the length to which the cat has pulled it.
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the right direction of movement for reversal.
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the number of coils needed to create a ball of the desired size.
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The last knot needed to keep it sealed.
(Pic: gretchenrubin.com) Does this represent •
Limits of our tolerance.
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The extent to which our equilibrium has been upset.
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The steps needed to put our life back in order.
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The magnitude of effort needed to do the same.
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Caution needed to prevent recurrence of the problem.
The easiest thing in life is to be you. The most difficult thing is what other people want you to be – By Leo Buscaglio. 2. CREATION BY ELIMINATION Michelangelo was once asked how did he execute the arduous task of sculpting a magnificent statue of David. His answer revealed the essence of simplicity. “That’s easy. Just chip out everything that is not David”. Knowing others helps us to know what we dislike. And those are the traits that we need to eliminate from our personality. There stands the finest version of yourself, the best that you can be. 3. STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS Life compels us to make a choice. We cannot have the cake, and eat it too. And we know what is more important to us – having or eating.
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You have defined your priorities, and therefore yourself. Your existence beyond the crossroads is authentic . 4. CREATIVITY There is a difference between manufacturing and creating. The former involves producing something to specifications. The latter involves creating an extension of your innermost self. You cannot create a piece, which is not a part of you . It can be a very classy imitation, or crass plagiarism, but it will always be a shadow of another. An artist is influenced or inspired, but only by thoughts, objects or people that reflect a part of his self. Thus, to create, you need to know yourself. 5. SPIRITUALITY Spirituality is all about moving beyond the physical, mental and emotional boundaries of Personality, into the boundlessness of Existence. It has to be pure, authentic, just you. Â A kind of energy is released, which can expand, merge or co-create, but is indestructible. It is the essence of YOU. 6. AHA MOMENTS Aha moments are the moments of sudden insight or revelation, which take life forward. They take you out of a stalemate, into forward movement.
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I came across a series of pictures of Pinterest, which are self-explanatory, and self-exploratory. They elucidate the steps, and sum up the process at the same time.
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Self-discovery is the moment, when the world around you darkens, and you see only a light that is YOU. (Coverpic source: covediscourse.org)
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What You Choose to 'Not Be' Tuesday 2 August 2016
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You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With Jim Rohn I start listing down all the people that I have known since childhood – family, teachers, friends, neighbors, classmates, colleagues, clients and alumni of different institutions. And there I go in search of people who averaged me out. 1. The Red List I took a red pencil and crossed the names of all the people that I dislike. I choose not to think about them. 2. The Purple List My purple pencil was reserved for the people I did not like, but needed for survival. I had to pretend to be cordial. There was no choice. Your boss and domestic help could both fall in this list. 3. The Blue List Next, came a blue pencil to cross the people I do not actively like, but choose to interact with, being part of the same family or work set-up. Civility is the word here, not Need. 137
4. The Grey List Then, I picked up a grey one, and just obliterated the cells. There were so many whom I neither liked nor loathed. I could live my life well enough, without them, and I do not see a need to acknowledge their existence. 5. The Black List Now, I chose the thickest, blackest, darkest pencil possible, which could provide the highest degree of contrast to the white background of the template. These were the people I loved to loathe, but they lent meaning to my life, by juxtaposition. I have sworn never to be like them. They are the scum of humanity, but their existence highlights the ‘nobility’ of my existence. Maybe, they draw similar solace from my existence. 6. The Golden List These are the people whom I love, admire and respect. Tell me the names of people you consider to be your mentors, and I will write your Vision, Mission and Values statement of your life. The catch is, they may not be people you have met, or you know on a one-to-one basis. Deities, authors, philosophers, social activists, political leaders and public figures could all figure in this list. The Golden List is created after an elaborate elimination process, of choosing what and who you Do not want in your life. The Power of Filters 138
Have you heard the following conversation, at the coffee machine or water cooler in the office? “I just saw the promotion list. X’s name does not appear, despite the mega success of his project”. “I would be damned, if his name had appeared. He told the boss what he (the boss) was doing wrong. One has to know better, I say”. A throaty chuckle is heard, followed by the quick exit of some embarrassed faces. X is seen as both competent and foolish. It depends on the filter applied. Some people present there have chosen to ‘not be poor or less successful’, and some have chosen to ‘not be dishonest or a liar’. And those choices have made them whatever they are. They choose to see X with the lens that they have crafted so cleverly, given their unique experience in life. The Top Five are not the people in my physical vicinity, but those about whom I think, and use those thoughts to make my choices. And they figure either in the Golden or Black List. You spend most of your time on the internet, phone or television, and keep in touch with your Golden and Black lists. Darkness is only the absence of light. Or is it the reverse? What about sound and silence, knowledge and ignorance? Do they oppose or complement each other?
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1. The Majority Filter
Pic : linkcrafter.com How do you think the above figure was drawn? With black ink on white paper? Why not white ink on black paper? Assumptions: •
The commonest color of paper used is white.
•
White appears to be all-pervasive in this diagram, with black curves drawn on it.
•
It is easier to paint black on white, dark on light, rather than the reverse.
Your finest qualities will be perceived, in context of the majority outlook, and the value system of the immediate environment in which you live. 2. The Known Logic Filter 140
Pic: keoneulaes.org Here, the black and white stripes cover almost equal space. White on black, or black on white? What do I need to check? a. The material used . Maybe, two colors of paper were used, and no ink. Paper of one color is pasted on another. This could also be a knit fabric, with black and white threads running alternately, without an overlap. b. Texture Touch would reveal the texture of the flat base color, and the slightly raised topping. A large amount of white would need to be used, if it was painted on black paper. c. Relative strength
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The depth or transparency of the color would indicate its strength. Is there a tinge of grey in white? So, that was the thinner consistency. Here, known logic is used to apply the check, and make a choice. 3. The Perception Filter
Here, I see a revolutionary cutting through the darkness, to emerge with its identity. It has acquired a shape, based on the space it could cut through. And this shape could change, based on the space available, or juxtaposition with an extraneous factor. Would the intensity of this picture be overlooked, with a colorful picture placed besides it? Or specks of grey introduced in the vision? Could the hero appear to be a monster, with specks of red, dripping from what appears to be his eyes or mouth? How the World Shapes You?
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I reproduce the story of Michelangelo with his masterpiece sculpture of David. On being complimented on the exquisite finesse of his work, the artist retorted : “Why, it was easy. I just chipped off everything that was not David.”
What you choose to Not Be, shapes you and reinvents you. David’s girlfriend could have exclaimed in horror: “Where is the gold chain that I gifted him? Of course, David cannot exist without a symbol of my love.” How the World Sees You? But nothing exists in absolute terms, not even you. People want to see each other, with symbols (or bonds) of their ‘love’, and will judge you, based on the extent of mutual connectivity. The further one goes in the quest 143
for individuality, the hazier the picture appears to another. You and the world will see each other by applying one or more of the three filters. There could be many more. These three are just indicative.
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What Binds Humanity Together? Friday 5 August 2016
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Say so, the learned T.S.Eliot and Thyon Edwards. But why ? I looked at the PC screen for answers. There is a message from a person, whose existence I had wanted to forget. Why did she want to meet me again ? A social network site is open in the third window. Facebook, being the hub of diversity, always takes me to unplanned destinations. I came across a video of twins being separated for a few minutes on birth, and in visible despair. The expressions changed as they again lay close to one another, as they derived security from a
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sense of familiar comfort. Do we have a need for connectivity, before stepping out in the world ? An accidental click on the right, opened up a celebrity gossip feature, with the trials and tribulations of a star-crossed relationship, and the bitter public battles they had waged against each other. What is it that keeps human beings bound to one another? If we complete each other, we also antagonize each other. If we love, we also hate. We are also indifferent and unconcerned. Is hatred or indifference, the absence of love, or vice versa? Did we develop the negative emotions, when certain expectations of positive connectivity were not met ? I am no Gautam Buddha to meditate under the Bodhi tree, and my limited knowledge is derived from books and the World Wide Web. And there, came the following gurus to my rescue, with their combined wisdom. •
Hilary Scarlett, U.K.-based author of the new book NeuroScience for Organizational Change
•
Matthew Lieberman, author of “Social : Why our brains are wired to connect ?”
•
Carnegie Mellon researchers Russel Goleman and George Loewenstein .
Need for connectivity The brain craves connection and information. Denial of the same leads to intense fear and insecurity. The 146
reactions induced in the body are akin to those in physical pain. The levels of pain in the absence of desired or sufficient information, have been measured and found to be much higher than those who knew with certainty, that the worst will follow. The missing bits of information distract a person from work, and create an uncomfortable sense of not being in control. Questions as connectors This validated a Slideshare I had posted a few months ago, on the role that questions play in connecting one to the universe. Questions •
Questions are the speed-breakers in our thought process.
•
The process is interrupted, when theories cannot be verified.
•
It leads to Unanswered Questions, to which you seek answers.
•
Questions pull you out of your comfort zone.
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Questions are your connectors to the rest of the world.
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Relationships are formed with people who either answer your questions or challenge them.
•
The resultant equations create the web of your social and professional networks. 147
•
The right questions challenge your assumptions, beliefs and yourself.
•
The right questions lead you towards untraversed terrain.
•
This untraversed terrain has the potential to become your Highway to Success.
Oh Boy, my questions and statements suddenly made sense. And without going under the Bodhi tree. Learning, Teaching and Sharing The absence of the ‘other’ renders each of these activities meaningless. How do I feel superior or inferior, if there was no competitor? Whom do I share my love and wisdom with, if there were no receivers? Pets provide us with the much-needed sense of comfort and connection, in absence of human companions. We love
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them, discipline them, rebuke them and provide for their comforts. The satisfaction that we derive from the 3 activities of learning, teaching and sharing, encompasses life (other than the fulfilment of physical needs ), and our yearning for life. Â We seek completion and fulfilment from it, and want to continue forever with this process. The saints who have been able to give up their bodies voluntarily, were the ones who had either achieved their stated life purpose, or believed that they will live again to complete the process. Story-Telling It is ultimately, your story and mine, and theirs, and how they all overlap, that creates this nexus called the world. This includes the plants and animals, and any attempt at excluding some of them, creates environmental and human disasters. Pull out a thread, and the fabric falls apart.
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But, the human mind loves a challenge. They create isolated zones of comparative self-sufficiency. And then, pity those ‘poor dependent creatures’ outside, while gloating on their own fortune. Would that really be a fortune, without those unfortunate creatures out there ? What I know now is that we're all interconnected and that's a really beautiful thing. We have links to everyone else in our lives and in the world. Different people have different journeys for different reasons. You can't judge, but you can celebrate that there are connections everywhere. By Jane Seymour external link(s): 1. https://www.amazon.com/Neuroscience-Organizational-Change-Evidencebased-Practical/dp/0749474882 2. https://www.cmu.edu/dietrich/sds/docs/golman/InformationGap%20Theory%202016.pdf 3. http://www.slideshare.net/ReenaS/questions-57001635
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The 'SubConscious' of the Nation Sunday 14 August 2016
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The subconscious is something lurking just below awareness, •
in a human being,
•
in a community, and
•
in the collective awareness of a nation.
The collective conscious of a nation is comprised of several sets of beliefs, biases and prejudices. That makes it a rather malleable set, constantly shifting and assuming new shapes. It is an active entity which charges ahead, and charts the course of a nation. It is also a passive entity which follows the leaders, in bits and parts, not as a whole. And that makes it highly mouldable clay in the hands of master craftsmen. Parallels between an individual and a nation 1. History Individual The subconscious mind is nothing but the “neural pathways” that have been established in your brain as result of your past beliefs and conditioning. During your unconscious existence, when you weren’t aware enough, you ended up imbibing a lot of limiting beliefs, 151
negative conditioning and misguided perceptions about life, that you took to be “true” and hence believed in them enough to create strong neural pathways in your brain about them – causing these patterns of thought to become “subconscious”. Nation We carry the painful memories of being a slave nation, of a partition that cut across a generation that had grown together, and of being subjected to third party manipulation before the declaration of sovereignty. Though that generation is now largely extinct, it has left behind those fears on the collective psyche. Unfortunately, the British model of ‘Divide and Rule’, is also seen as a successful model, and is emulated in the corporate and political arenas. ‘The Great Divide’ between the haves and have-nots still exists, as amassing of wealth by a few, by exploiting the masses continues. The Rebel instincts, too, refuse to die down, as they are denied a share in the ownership of the nation. Action and Reaction, Heart and Brain, Conscious and Subconscious of the nation, thus, continue to feed each other. 2. Mass Behavior Individual It has been studied biologically that the signals of the heart are transmitted to the brain via the blood stream, while the brain’s signals are transmitted to the entire body, in terms of the vibration it produces (for example a 152
fearful thought creates a vibration of fear which is felt in the body and accessed by the heart). So the heart feeds the brain, which in turn feeds the heart and thus creates a cycle of amplification of any signal that got started. Nation The economy, inflation, lack of gainful employment, social repression are all ‘signals of the heart’, that feed politics, uprisings, immigration, movements and rebellion. The elite few who hold economic, social or political power are capable of sending out these ‘signals’, and watching the ripples in the pulse of the nation. 3. The Gap Individual A lot of people who realize certain truths, and gain clarity, feel frustrated that their brain is not able to sync up with this understanding. The basic deal is that your conscious mind has gained the understanding, but your subconscious mind is yet to get programmed in it – it still has strong neural pathways associated with the old beliefs, conditioning and thought pattern. The conscious mind can get it immediately, and you can feel a sense of relief and elation on getting the clarity, but the very next day you can come up against the subconscious mind that starts churning out the old patterns. Nation
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This pause, the time gap between the realization and response is dangerous. This is the moment when vested interests strike on the emptiness, to exploit the awareness, and impose a new pattern. They confirm the newly found belief, of deprivation and a hunger for progress, but do not allow the masses to reach the underlying cause, and integrate the conscious with the subconscious. Instead, an alternate consciousness is imposed, which diverts attention from their role in the drama. The masses are given an inane cause to uphold, a meaningless battle to fight, a new passion to create a false sense of identity. It is at this point, that the social reformers and all those who sought to bring a genuine awakening, have failed. They could not move faster than the pause , which interrupts integration of the conscious and subconscious. Hence, the healthy behaviour patterns have been unable to take root. 4. The Role of Emotion Individual When a thought creates a feeling in the body it’s called emotion. Emotion is a physical/bodily experience of a thought. Basically, intense/strong emotions are “unnecessary” and are the reason for 99% of physical suffering in the body, the rest 1% may be physical suffering created through some physical damage/injury. You can “think” without creating any significantly felt emotions. There is no such thing as “good emotions”. It is only a state of absence of resistance/emotion which feels good, 154
Nation Once an emotion is generated, the individual or group of individuals goes all out to justify it, mostly by rationalization (generation of a suitable logic), and inviting others to confirm it. This process takes the form of the 'pulse of the nation', the public sentiment or a mass hysteria. We have seen this happening in Brexit, where the appeal for an identity and independence overruled economic interest. We are seeing the bizarre developments in the U.S. election campaign. We have seen it in several movements, elections and slander campaigns in India. The successful ad campaigns have relied on this method. It works. Hence, it will continue to be employed as a tool. Reliance on 'thought' and 'sensitivity' rather than 'emotion', needs to be inculcated in functioning of the human mind. SPEED MATTERS “ Speed is the form of ecstasy the technical revolution has bestowed on man” says the Czech novelist Milan Kundera . The ‘thought consumer’ just consumes and assimilates, and gets a high from it, without that pause to think and analyse . The brain does not know the difference between reality and illusion, and neural pathways are created. Higher the volume of this bombardment of views, the more real do those views appear, and become synonymous with an imposed reality.
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America, the most celebrated democracy in the world, faces a caricature election this year. The elevation of the main characters in the cast to the peak, will remain a subject of socio-political research for several years. It will be fuelled by the consequences in the next 4 to 8 years. The video by Jeff Warrick summarizes the mechanism of ‘Programming of the Nation’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WRjnzKd9rs THE FUTURE OF INDIA
Are we doomed to go down the same route, and come back in a cyclic turn of events? Do we have to hit rock bottom, before we start moving up again? Or is there a way to prevent the disaster? Are we willing to ‘Pause and Think’ before we absorb whatever is thrown at us? The future will thank us for being an enlightened nation, if we manage to achieve that. Imagine the caricatures 156
falling off, one by one, and an enlightened and responsible nation emerge. And then, work towards making it a reality.
(Source of  Text in italics: calmdownmind.com)
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Twists in Storytelling Sunday 28 August 2016
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I rarely read fiction, or watch fiction shows on television. I have not succeeded in writing a good story ever. But, I consider it to be a limitation that I need to overcome. Hence, the interpretation by VR filmmaker, Jessica Brillhart, struck an immediate chord. "Story to me is a result of an experience. We filter out our experiences in order to better communicate that to someone else. So I make a film about something that's happened to me or something that I believe has happened to someone and I represent that to you." This aspect of storytelling makes it so relevant to putting a point across – in an article, speech, video or training program. It creates an immediate connect with the audience, as each individual links it to an experience in his or her life. It fuels imagination, and ‘lights up the relevant neural pathways’ (as a brain scientist would put it). It creates a receptive soil, for absorption of further inputs, and flowering of new thoughts. VISUALIZATION A story gives an idea about what is possible. I remember a story I had read in a school textbook, about a couple who are affiliated to different political parties. The wife spews venom against her husband, in 158
the election campaign. She sells the first piece of jewellery that was gifted by her husband, when the party needs funds. On the evening before the poll, she overhears her husband’s chat with his friend. The husband chuckles that he loves his wife, for her fiery passion towards any cause that she believes in. She spends the night in deep reflection, and the next morning sees her cast her vote in her husband’s favor. The power of this story lies in the fact, that it had set my expectations for a future partner, right then, in my pre-teens. NOISE IN STORY TELLING Too much noise in a story fails to build up the right expectations. A trainer opened a session on Emotional Intelligence, by discussing the Magic of the number 7, or 21 or 40, and how do they help in formation of habits. It immediately led to the question “Why are we discussing this?”. It took some time for the class to catch, that emotional intelligence can be a cultivated habit that helps. The placement of the example in the storyline led to confusion. See the following commercials with garbled messages, that have qualified as Worst Indian Ads of the year 2014, by Anuholic. Worst Indian Ads 2014 BUILDING LINKAGES 159
We accept opinions as facts, if we see the same thing being repeated in several social media posts. Further linkages are invented by the people circulating the posts. As I write this, I am watching Sonakshi Sinha on TV, narrating the story of her grandmother’s initial refusal to allow her beauty queen mother to marry her father, who was a struggling actor at that point of time (fact). On being asked about the circumstances that led to her final consent, she said, “Stardom (Opinion)
induces
acceptance
of
everything”.
It is a fact that her father, Shatrughan Sinha had attained stardom, before his marriage. But it is only Sonakshi who creates a linkage between his stardom, and her grandmother’s consent. The line between the two is very thin, and can be used both with a positive and negative intent. Virtual reality and Augmented reality will carry this theme further, with a lot of new twists. FEARS AROUND STORYTELLING There are lobbies in the corridors of power, which do not want people to see possibilities of freedom, or better alternatives. The exercise of imagination is dangerous to those who profit from the way things are, because it has the power to show that the way things are is not 160
permanent, not universal, not necessary. Having that real though limited power to put established institutions into question, imaginative literature has also the responsibility of power. The storyteller is the truthteller. Ursula K. Le Guin Is this a fact or opinion? MICROLEARNING – HANDLING CONTRADICTIONS This is the age of micro-learning. It is only a strong recurrent theme linkage between the various capsules doled out, which can maintain a semblance of continuity in the message. Each link in the story needs to link up to the principal theme, to keep the learners on track. We cannot afford to overlook the fact, that the learner is being bombarded with several contradictory messages at the same time. We need to empower learners with a strong analytical ability, to accept or refute contradicting theories. Maria Popova puts it beautifully, when she says ( www.brainpickings.org ) “Presence is far more intricate and rewarding an art, than productivity.” There is a great responsibility on the shoulders of the story-teller, as well as the viewer.
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external link(s): 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLWr7F8xODA 2. http://www.brainpickings.org
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What do your stories tell you? Thursday 1 September 2016
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"Some double the stake Some play blind I just have a high card I read people and their minds" There is a story running through our heads throughout our life, and it keeps changing. There is a mental house that we live in, and we keep shifting the walls, to accommodate our perceptions. The stories that they told, and what I heard Malini, who was not particularly close to her family, revealed that she has always had an imaginary family she interacted with. It had 3 men from three different generations. •
The first was a father figure who pampered her.
•
The second was a highly supportive guy in her own age group, successful in his profession, who was perhaps a friend, classmate or brother. There was clearly no romantic association with this guy, and his dedication to his partner was exemplary.
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•
The third was a school-going child who was witty and brilliant, and looked up to her.
She shared her woes and achievements with these three guys, had long conversations, and also participated in the banter between them. She wanted to hone her writing skills, to weave these characters into a story. They were so alive in her imagination, that they felt real. And she easily befriended people, who resembled any of these three. What did this story tell me about her? •
She pined for unconditional love.
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She needed companionship.
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She needed acceptance as an individual, devoid of any role play.
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She wanted the support of a successful and influential person, to further her own goals.
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She was clear that a romantic relationship could not fulfil her needs.
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She did miss not having a baby.
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She wished to relive her childhood through a child.
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She was not keen on familial responsibilities.
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She was not very comfortable in the company of women.
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•
She was capable of giving, but wanted to be appreciated for that. It was not a selfless act.
When I shared my interpretation with her, she confessed that she was an ambitious person, and had found family to be a restrictive factor. She did not enjoy playing the role of a stereotypical daughter, wife or daughter-in-law, and did not like demands being placed on her. She did feel that it was all a thankless job, and her support was taken for granted. She felt that romantic relationships were demanding, and she preferred an easy camaraderie. She had very few women friends, as she found them to be judgemental. Close enough? 2. There are people we term as ‘congenital liars’, since they keep lying without having to gain anything from it. They are actually living out the life, which they had always wanted to. But they commit the error of verbalising it, maybe to enjoy the awed response from people around them. Try to change the topic (knowing the hollowness of it all) and they will repeat the same story with renewed emphasis, saying “Maybe, you did not get that ….. “. 3. Namita, who was brought up in the posh environs of a metropolitan city, moved to a small town, after marrying her sweetheart. She kept repeating the stories of her younger days, her dreams and ambitions, and the encounters with celebrities residing in the neighbourhood …. well, several hundred times, and the stories got laced with more and more imaginary details, 165
with each repeated narration. The children were encouraged to take up whatever she had left unfinished. Clearly, she had missed out on a life she wanted to lead, and was romanticising it. 4. An old man who has lived a difficult life, paints glorious pictures of his past, while talking to his peers on an evening walk, or his grandchildren. It makes me wonder if he has blocked out the unpleasant facets of his life from memory, or if a faint awareness of reality still lingers on in moments of solitude. I still flinch at the memory of some ‘faux pas’ statements made in the distant past to people I haven’t seen in years. I wish to meet those people again to clarify that I had not meant any harm. Do they still remember the incident, or associate it with me in a negative manner? I don’t know. But I keep reliving those forgettable moments. It is all a painstaking effort to live a life we had wished for. It is unfinished business. ‘Finish’ the story Do we need to silence these inner voices, and the consequent enactment of scenes? If we understand the deep rooted desires behind these stories, we might work at a plan to achieve them. Or accept that it is over, and there is no possibility of fulfilment. It will push us towards creating new stories – real and achievable. 166
As the Scottish psychiatrist R.D. Laing says,. “ One must overlay this devastation by a new consciousness..�, albeit a more active and action-oriented one.
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Stories are not all True Sunday 4 September 2016
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I met Julie, a couple of days ago. She is not keen on getting married. If at all she does, she wants her ‘space’. But she was unable to define what exactly ‘space’ meant to her. She kept repeating that she wanted to be her own person, and hated people dictating terms, or interfering with her life. It was quite a common rant. Meanwhile, in my ‘search for truth’, as I prefer to call my story, I came across a piece by Keith Frankish, an English philosopher and writer: Whatever you think, you don’t necessarily know your own mind. Gist of Keith's theory Keith essentially talks about two innate capabilities of human beings: •
They look outwards and understand what the other person is thinking or feeling.
•
Our own thoughts are a reflection on outside stimuli.
Humans did not develop a second, inward-looking mind-reading system (an inner sense); rather, they gained self-knowledge by directing the outward-looking system upon themselves.
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Julie has grown up, watching or hearing about her mother’s life of subjugation, and she became determined to lead an independent life. She found behavior traits within herself to support her independent streak, and formed beliefs about her personality. But the whole process could have been a reactive one. We cannot be sure, if her independence was an inborn trait. The ISA (Interpretive Sensory Access theory by Peter Carruthers) theory has some startling consequences. One is that (with limited exceptions), we do not have conscious thoughts or make conscious decisions. For, if we did, we would be aware of them directly, not through interpretation. The conscious events we undergo are all sensory states of some kind, and what we take to be conscious thoughts and decisions are really sensory images – in particular, episodes of inner speech . These images might express thoughts, but they need to be interpreted. (Emphasis mine) Does it mean that thoughts and concepts are like viruses, which cannot multiply without a host? The stories playing in our minds are just an assorted replay of several other stories that we have heard. And all that we need to do to change those stories, is to decode, delink and connect with a new host. Analogy of a neural network model The neural network model comprises of three layers: •
Input 169
•
Hidden layer
•
Output.
The programming of the hidden layer determines the output. In a quoted example, recognizing a bus might need programmed sensitivity to 3 signals •
Wheel recognition (every bus has a wheel)
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Box recognition (the shape of a bus is like a box)
•
Size recognition (it is bigger than a car).
(Source : NEURAL NETWORK MODEL FOR THE ON-LINE MONITORING OF A CRYSTALLIZATION PROCESS What does the hidden layer in a neural network compute ) Back to Julie 170
It needs professional expertise to decode the hidden layer in a psyche. But on a simplified note, a long conversation with Julie revealed the following elements in this layer: •
A husband is a guy who controls you.
•
The institution of marriage is governed by restrictive norms.
•
Having children makes it difficult to get out of an unsatisfactory arrangement.
I could see some light now. The story needed to be rewritten with positive examples, and more than that, a positive experience. The exercise would not be complete, till Julie met a guy, who was not like her coded image of a husband. She had read these stories about people making similar choices (people who resembled a father or an ex) of partners, again and again, to fall in the same trap. She had fallen in a relationship trap of this description, and was scared. This was my take on it. A person needs to be taken as a whole. We cannot choose only certain parts of the personality. Julie grew up hating the fact, that her father gave more importance to his parents, and refused to give her mother the independence that she wanted. But she had also admired his value system, intelligence, devotion and respect to elders, and love for his children. Maybe, he 171
expected his wife to partner him in his care initiatives, and on seeing resistance, enforced certain rules. It was equally true, that her mother had no right to take him away from his family. The problem was embedded in that one layer – of not treating his wife as an individual with her own needs. She was not a slave to be compelled to execute certain duties, or an instrument to fulfil his objectives. Julie chose a partner who resembled her father in many ways, but also had this repulsive trait of imposing his value system. The decoding should help her in creating a priority list, and reshaping the mental image of an ideal partner. The linkage with the married life of her parents, or their individual personalities needs to be broken. An agreement to allow mutual space can be worked out. I wish Julie all the best for her life ahead. Life lessons for me The more I know, I realize how little I do. I am a host for other people’s stories, as much as they are for me. Links to previous articles on story-telling : What do your stories tell you Twists in storytelling
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external link(s): 1. https://aeon.co/ideas/whatever-you-think-you-don-t-necessarily-know- yo ur-own-mind?utm_source=Aeon+Newsletter&utm;_campaign=b289c1712c - Weekly_News 16&utm;_medium=email&utm;_term =0_411a82e59d-b289c1712c-69009801 2. http://www.scielo.br/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid;=S0104-66322001 000300006) 3. http://stats.stackexchange.com/questions/63152/what-does-the-hiddenlayer-in-a-neural-network-compute and 4. http://reinventions.in/?p=2102 5. http://reinventions.in/?p=2098
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Re-Inventing Storytelling Sunday 18 September 2016
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The hero turns into a vampire, a friend turns out to be a ghost, a palace is actually a cemetery. The twists in tales can bring about a total change in perception. This can happen with a sudden reversal of character, reversal of fortune, or reversal of motive in a script, and the end of the story changes. The nursery rhymes, bedtime stories and mythology all create folklore wisdom, that gets entrenched in personalities. Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down, and broke his crown And Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, And home did trot As fast as he could caper. Went to bed, to mend his head With vinegar and brown paper . Smart Alecs have raised a lot of questions on this nursery rhyme, which we used to memorize mindlessly in childhood. •
Water is normally available in a well, pond or river. Why go up the hill?
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Were they human? How could a head be mended with vinegar and brown paper?
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Do vinegar and brown paper have some other connotations?
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Why did he not bother about Jill, or help her after the fall? Did she survive?
The link of the poem to French history (King Louise XVI and Queen Marie Antoinette, who were beheaded) was available at a click of the mouse. (Time: 1 minute) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_349M6qU3E Placing brown paper soaked in vinegar on the head, was indeed a therapeutic practice followed in those days, to cure a headache. It was a mild ending, to cover the brutality of the actual story, and we got carried away with it. Wish we had this click facility to decode the stories that keep replaying in our heads. They continue to be repeated and misinterpreted in society, through us. M YTHOLOGY In the 1950s, a young man lost his wife at the age of 32, and shouldered the responsibility of being a single parent to three young daughters, in a conservative township. I am sure he was scared and insecure, beneath the calm exterior of a regular meditator. The first story extended to his motherless daughters, was 175
that of a widow in the family, who was found to be pregnant. It led to an ‘honor killing’ within the thick walls, of the huge mansion of the feudal lords. The impressionable girls were scared and scarred for life. They looked at the elders in the family, with a sense of fear and trepidation, and had no companion to share. I wish they had asked uncomfortable questions. If the women in that day and age, did not step out of the ‘palace of honor’, who was responsible for the impregnation? Was that guy killed or punished? The father would have got a foretaste of his future responsibilities, and would perhaps, have changed his parenting style. They did not, and the story lived in their psyche for long, leading to repressed personalities. Women who live in fear of being punished for another’s crime, without being given a hearing, do not complain or protest. Their presence on the scene of crime, is flung back at them, as an allegation of ‘crossing boundary lines’. This is responsible for many of the social evils, and crimes against women that we witness today. Why is mythology still relevant? •
It is rooted in our heritage, to tell us where we came from.
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The half-truths or myths are used to convey moral lessons.
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We all love a good story.
Love and embellish the story, for sure, till it starts affecting life adversely. Who can justify riots based on 176
racial prejudice, or the exploitation of certain sectors of the population , in the name of tradition? Who can justify turning oneself into a mental wreck, because of an idealistic story running in our head, which did not reach the desired end? Scale back in time and thoughts to Zero, and restart again. Zero-based Thinking REWRITE THE SCRIPT The script for the future is deceptively simple. •
Identify the conflicts.
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Identify the baddies.
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Revisit the emotional outbursts, and separate fact from fiction.
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Is a recurrence likely?
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If yes, what are the steps taken for prevention?
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If no, check where do you stand today.
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If you do not trust the baddie, you will not allow him or her to enter your life again. Now, where is the conflict?
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We secretly hope to see the baddie suffer. If they are so far away, that we will never receive a confirmation of their misfortune, how does it help?
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If they are not so far away, and you can do something to vent it out (without landing in jail, or making a sorry spectacle of yourself) do it. Do it, tear the pages and close the story.
Now, determine cause and effect of each incident, and see where your responsibility lies. EMOTIONS AND EGO BUT…. as Lloyd Shefsky, Professor of Kellog’s School of Management says, It’s like playing chess versus playing three-dimensional chess: You have this overlay of emotional rules over a very scientific or logical set of business rules, and the likelihood that both sets of rules are going to blend easily is pretty remote. The Ego defines our psychological identity, just as the dimensions of the body define our physical existence. Unfortunately, Ego develops an awareness of its existence, only when the boundary lines are pushed. The defensive reaction for protecting itself can lead to a lot of negativity. Neediness in relationships, insecurity, resentment and revenge all stem from this premise. An awareness of the boundary lines (before an external attack) and the willingness to stretch it a little, to accommodate another’s point of view, can give us a whole new perspective on every story that we come across.
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Jack and Jill will no longer be innocent beings, who met with an unfortunate accident. The hapless widow will no longer be seen as a generic ‘sinner’ to be punished. The heroes you worship may not appear to be all virtuous. The people you so dearly love, are no longer spotless and stainless, but you know the person beneath the spots and stains. You know your role in cleaning the spots and stains. You know where responsibility is to be fixed. The Hare and the Tortoise story has been reinvented several times, and has emerged with better conclusions. Enjoy it once again. (Time: 4 minutes) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXTeFa43730
external link(s): 1. http://reinventions.in/?p=1967
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The Emperor's New Clothes Thursday 20 October 2016
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The morning begins with a steaming cup of coffee, and a positivity message from well-wishers on social media.
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This was followed by many more riding on popular waves and concepts. There is not a single person challenging the validity of these concepts? A singular effort draws immediate silence, and a diversion to other ‘safe’ topics. It chills my spine, irrespective of the warmth that envelops me in the bed. If this is supposed to set the tone for the day, why does nobody do a recap at the end of the day ? “What lessons did you learn during the day ?” “How will you carry the same to the next day ?” “ Have you developed a strategy to combat the negativity around you?” “ Are you well equipped to defend your own interest ?” And most important of all, “Why have the Positive Things not happened today ?” Because my perception does not alter reality. Chuck the dope.
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Life is what happens while you are planning other things. What does one need to prepare for ? The unexpected battles that will need energy and strategy, or miraculous positivity ? I fully agree that thoughts shape action, and action shapes our destiny. Hence, we become what we think. I disagree with the notion that being good and thinking positive will attract success and happiness. We cannot afford to remain oblivious of the obstacles and negativity in our path, and hope to be miraculously rewarded for good Karma. The proponents of virtue, need to demonstrate success achieved by virtue. Multiple-speak and multiple-think in the system, has confused and debilitated several capable but weak minds. The child in the Emperor’s story was fearless in calling out the Emperor’s name, since he was oblivious of the 182
consequences that could befall him. Positivity is needed to overcome the fear, and speak out. “The Emperor has no clothes”. I see only Fear in the picture below, neither Grandeur nor Sycophancy. And Deception by a master manipulator, who succeeded in instilling fear of being singled out.
The friend who makes an effort to inject cheer in my life, is not a manipulator. S/he is fearful of being singled out for being aloof, a non-believer, a spoilsport. And there are millions who play along, while losing all opportunities to Stand Out. All capable and intelligent people need to be vigilant, against becoming tools in the power games of manipulators. The strategies employed by the manipulators (I will not call them leaders) of the system,
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are designed to suit their own success, by stunting the development of the mainstream. Strategy #1 – Keep them busy It takes a dimwit or an inexperienced child to say ‘The Emperor has no clothes”. But the dimwit remains a dimwit, a short-term hero for his fearless words, and the Emperor remains an Emperor. While the Emperor imagines his grand robes, and a customized wardrobe to house the same, the Devil has built a designer castle for himself, with the astronomical amount the Emperor has paid. People need to remain busy with small battles, small achievements and small joys. It prevents awareness of the total picture, and a consequent uprising and revolution. Strategy #2 Keep them dreaming And better, if in a state of deep REM sleep or somnambulism. It reduces sensitivity to the web of control around them. How many people out there are peddling miracles, from the Miracle Godmen to the people promising “5 or 9 or 15 secrets to success”, and you emerge from the program, just poorer by a few grands? Dreams sell, and dream-weavers are the richest segments of society. Strategy #3 Keep them working
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How often have we heard the words “I hear a lot of good things about you. Keep up the good work” in the power corridors, with a friendly pat on the shoulder ? Why do the powerful never bother to back it up with their first-hand opinions, or awareness of your achievements ? While you remain in your euphoria, busy with good work to strengthen the base of the pyramid, the smart strategist has climbed up to the peak. You were never supposed to know what was happening up there, in the rarefied atmosphere. The worker bees are needed to build the hive, while the Queen feeds on Royal jelly, and expands her empire. Strategy #4 Keep them feeling guilty Unachievable standards of perfection are set. Can you be a selfless God, who sacrificed all for the benefit of his fellow-beings ? It keeps you feeling inadequate, and too small to question the selfish acts of others. Move the goalposts frequently, change timeframes, so you never gain satisfaction of having reached somewhere. Your achievements are denigrated, because that ‘something else’ was not achieved. Who has not experienced this in annual performance appraisals ? Or in being the parent who has been squeezed out of the last penny, by a selfish and errant offspring ? Strategy #5 Keep them intoxicated
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The opium of Religion, Political loyalty, drugs all keep you safely inoculated against Awareness. What you don’t know cannot hurt you. What you don’t know cannot be questioned. What you don’t know does not depress or demotivate you. People who do not expend effort to understand, remain a loyal and subservient workforce to the masters. And you travel through this lifetime, happy and sedated.
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A 'Slasher' Existence Monday 20 June 2016
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The legendary Roshan Abbas referred to himself as a ‘slasher’ in one of the events he hosted. The term may have negative connotations coming from American horror films, but he gave it an interesting twist. It was just meant to describe his various facets – radio jockey (Slash)/ theatre artist (Slash)/TV anchor (Slash) /writer (Slash)/director (slash)/emcee (slash)/impresario. I was sure, impressed by the impresario. And the various connotations of the word, in describing a personality. 1. The Multitaskers Do the multitaskers handle several jobs at once, or keep switching from one task to another ? Are we taxing the brain too much, and letting perfection suffer in an effort to be over-efficient ? The neural networks in a part of the brain ‘light up’, when they get involved in a thought, and remain so for sometime. The efficiency of multi-tasking depends on how fast do we get back to the task or thought left behind. The brain has multi-level storage facility, and can cope with the pressure. This is just a modus operandi, not the method of existence.
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2. The Colored Hatters Edward De-Bono has described the six different angles of the thinking process, as different hats that a decision-maker needs to don. It is like viewing the same valley from different spots on a mountain. •
Blue Process Overview
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White Facts and figures
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Yellow Speculative- positive
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Black Caution and critic
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Red Feeling and Intuition
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Green Creativity and ideas
This is just about the thinking process, not the process of existence.
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3. The play of the opposites There is a bit of positive and negative, black and white, male and female, yin and yang in all of us. Life is a process of balancing the opposites, living with a certain amount of stress. If we are in a state of perpetual comfort, the word comfortable will lose its meaning. It acquires a positive sense of well-being, in juxtaposition with discomfort. One does not exist without the other. This is about balance, not the edge of existence.
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4. The Role-Players In its simplest version, the same individual is a boss, employee, parent, spouse, friend, colleague, producer, consumer all at the same time. And practically everybody is doing all of this. There are artists who can sing, dance, write, paint and do equally well. This is about co-existence, not the core of existence. So, what is great about being a ‘slasher’ ? 5. The 'Slashers' The slashers are people who have discovered their different dimensions, and found avenues for expression of the same. They ‘slash’ the myth of destruction and death. 190
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It is about increased capacity utilization of the brain, and still leaving some to be explored at a later stage in life.
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It is about learning something new everyday, in more than one arena, and moving a step ahead.
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It is about being on an endless journey towards perfection.
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It is about measuring the length, breadth and depth of each competence, comparing it with others, and devising productive action plans.
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It is about exploring the market for each competence, and deciding what will remain upfront or backstage. It feels treacherous, like dumping one for another – but we are forced to say “Your time will come, dear friend, just hang on a little longer”.
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It is about putting different frames on intelligence and creativity, and emerging with different end-products.
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It is about wearing a different cloak at different times, and keeping the others within easy reach, to be accessed when needed.
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It is about rearranging different dimensions, for emergence of a new shape and form.
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It is about a constant search for fertile soil, which will help the seeds grow.
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It is about being buried alive, and sprouting again in a new life. The soul never dies, the spark never dies. 191
This is about the indomitable spirit of existence. Proud to be a slasher.
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The Beauty of the Point of No Return Monday 20 June 2016
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I woke up with a heaviness in my head today. It was an uneasy night, with varied objects flying at and around me – DeBono’s colored hats, different kinds of grids, theories, beliefs, suspicions, half-conclusions – all mocking at my inability to accommodate them with due respect. The equipment that I own looks something like this, and is grossly inadequate.
I need a filing cabinet , and space is not an issue. It should be flexible enough to hold diversity, accessible enough to return items on demand, spongy enough to absorb new streams and durable enough to last for a 193
lifetime. It should allow fungibility for inter-spatial movement, and well-structured launchpads to catapult an integrated product. The brain is performing all these functions, with not-so-satisfactory results and constantly asking for re-engineering. Does my fantasy look something like this ?
The co-ordinated movement is a myth, a fantasy. I have been weighed down by competing instincts and logic, all night and all my life. •
The Banker in me is counting the boxes, and calculating the weighted average.
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The Image Consultant in me is admiring the interplay of shapes and colors, and imagining the person or garment that it will adorn.
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The Coach in me is trying to interpret the creator’s mental process.
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The Entrepreneur in me is thinking how to package it, and find a buyer.
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The Thinker in me is analysing, sifting and sorting and picking up the compatible pieces.
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The Writer in me is trying to put a framework on parts of it, though it may create incomplete and intriguing pictures.
Does my persona add value to the structure, or am I a product shaped by these intertwining pieces ? Is my life a jigsaw puzzle of putting these pieces together? This is just intra-personal conflict. And how will it complement or clash with others’ thought processes? The interactions with them will lend new dimensions to some of these elements, in a manner that they do not pop out and fall, but find justification to stay inside that structure. ABRACADABRA ! This is what I was looking for. The thought that makes me pop out and fall, find my feet again, and then wings. The thought that will catapult me from ordinary to extraordinary, from masses to classes, from mundane to mind-blowing. This is not an idea, not a discovery, not an invention. This is pure energy, an irresistible driving force, a point of Transformation, that renders everything else meaningless. This is the Launchpad that I wanted in that filing cabinet of mine. The ejection force will be generated from within, and will be sufficient to fight the opposing forces outside. This is Creativity ! This is the Essence of Life ! The opaque surfaces around me acquire reflective powers to turn into mirrors. This is the defining moment, which 195
helps us discover ourselves. It is the insane, brute power that makes us sane and sensible. It is the moment that makes people start new ventures, give up addictive behaviour, take off on journeys around the world, and just BE THEMSELVES. It gives lucidity to a complex piece of literature, it lends colour and vibrancy to sketchy outlines, it lends meaning to the whole business of existence. It makes life a summary of ideas that succeeded and failed, rather than a sum of years or decades. It does not happen only to the Einsteins and Michaelangelos in the world. Each of us can go through this process, with some hand-holding from a being, who was enlightened before you did. It could also be an acceptance of reality, that change in a given framework is beyond our means and power. The only way to move ahead is transiting to a new framework, or counting the blessings and staying on. This is the moment that makes people quit jobs and relationships and chuck commitments . The Gautam Buddhas and John Galts were all born in this moment. Atlas Shrugs in these moments. And moves ahead to discover newer worlds.
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10 Dimensions of Victory Sunday 21 August 2016
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Social media has been on a party of Olympian proportions, in the last few weeks. Controversial comments, trolling, exposure, criticism, admiration and euphoria are all in full play. This is how a nation, society and culture pulsate, and one needs to watch closely to understand the prevailing mood. IS IT ALL ABOUT VICTORY? We participate in a contest to win, to display our mettle, and gain recognition on a larger platform. Victory is meant to be celebrated. It would be shameful to ignore or downplay the herculean efforts of the participants, or the badges of honor received. But different segments appear to have a different motive behind the celebrations. I felt compelled to examine the various aspects of something as simple as hailing a victory. 1. Aspirational The aspirants to a similar victory observe it closely, and celebrate a future star-spangled vision. They see themselves in every frame, every pose and every byte doled out by the winners. 2. Inspirational
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The doomsayers who have never thought that they could, start seeing a ray of hope. If X can do it, why can’t we, or anybody on a similar quest? It suddenly validates the achievability of hopes and dreams, and alters attitudes. 3. Sectarian pride Particular sections of the population, like women, a particular state or institution acquire a sense of participation in the victory. They are proud of someone of their own ilk, reaching the stars, or the coveted award, cup or medal. Expressions like ‘well-deserved’ mark the sentiment. The three athletes who won accolades for the nation, all being women, have brought out all feminist issues in open forums. 4. Awe and recognition Stories of the intense preparation, the struggle, the sacrifices made by the participants dot the media. There is an awe-struck generation, looking up at details of the number of hours per day spent in preparation, the time spent without basic amenities such as the phone and television, and the battle against naysayers, fought for several years. 5. Exposure of malpractices in the system The poor infrastructure, the pathetic facilities provided to the participants, the casual attitude of officials, favoritism and the measly rewards are all highlighted. It succeeds 198
in drawing mass attention to the gaps, and might induce the state to make some corrections, and dole out higher financial rewards. 6. Affinity with the enemy’s rival If I do not like a country or a contestant, all my support goes to the rival. I hope and pray for, and celebrate the rival’s victory, as it feels like apt dispensation of justice. The loser deserved what s/he got, more so than the winner. We celebrate the emergence of a challenger to take him on, and show him his place. The challenger is seen as a savior, an upholder of honor or justice. S/he need not make it to the last mile. A battle won is as good as the war. It has generated hope for the future. 7. Personality wins A contestant wins hearts and minds with his/her character, conduct, statements and the spunk displayed. Even the first-time viewer develops an affinity for a contestant, based on the personality projected. Such a contestant wins, irrespective of a victory or defeat on the field. They acquire public sympathy for a loss, not a damnation. Dipa Karmakar made it to the fourth place in gymnastics, and lost an Olympic medal by a mere 0.15 of a point. The risk undertaken by her in performing the Produnova, helped her win millions of hearts, in the country and abroad. 8. Shaming the Naysayer 199
A celebrity makes negative statements damning the prospects of victory or performance, maybe a little too early in the game. Thereafter, each positive step taken, each accolade, each medal becomes an occasion to bash up the naysayer. Demands for apologies or retraction of the statement, take the social media by storm. The Shobhaa De episode has amply demonstrated this phenomenon. 9. Juxtaposition The media discovers veterans, who are leading a humble life today, despite their gargantuan achievements in the past. The failure of the system in taking care of its achievers, and the consequent reluctance of future generations to enter the arena leading to a national loss, is revealed. The comparison with champions of other countries or another sport, highlights the wide gaps. 10. Benchmarking against past victories It helps to be the first winner. One is hailed just for reaching a particular point, irrespective of the qualitative aspects of the performance. A territory has been conquered, a flag has been hoisted, a name has been etched in the annals of history. Emily Dickinson’s poem elucidates the preceding sentiment:
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“Victory comes late, And is held low to freezing lips Too rapt with frost To take it. How sweet it would have tasted, Just a drop!� WHAT FOLLOWS VICTORY What is competition all about? It is about honing talents, a SWOT analysis and inspiring people to reach their peak levels. In absence of competition, that effort would never have been made.
Upholding a honor, holding your place in the hierarchy and chalking out a plan for climbing to a higher rank follows a victory. Somehow, this process manages to escape public attention. A biography is not needed to document the method followed by a winner, the requirements (inborn qualities, talent, efforts, investment), the sacrifices (maybe an academic career), and the facilities/avenues available for future aspirants. We need national, regional and institutional plans to 201
attract and nurture talent, and the information being available in public domain. TALENT MAPPING The principles apply to any field, not just sports. Common citizens need to know where do they fit in the national/international system with their talent, and what chances do they stand for inching forward, not necessarily being the ultimate winner. Equal emphasis on ethics will help character-building. The means are as important as the end. The journey is as important as the destination.
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Narcissism in writers Thursday 23 June 2016
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All of us are narcissists to some extent. Only the extent differs, and makes a difference to the people around us, as well. It controls the extent to which they find us lovable, endearingly tolerable or intolerable. Writers cannot help, but be narcissistic. A writer can see his/her mental reflection, akin to Narcissus seeing his image in water, but can preserve it, only by laying it open to the outside world. Writing is a process of projecting a part of your innermost self, and one cannot do that, without loving that self, to some extent. Again, the extent differs. And the kind of writing differs. Non-Creative Writing Such pieces are compilation of information, presentation of research findings, analyses of facts or vanilla reports. There is a writer’s viewpoint and a creative input in the manner of presentation of each piece, and the personality of the writer does reflect. But primarily, the writer has to remain true to the subject matter, rather than his own view. Research theses, academic writing, business writing, technical writing all fall under this category .  It is a challenge to remain objective, and the battle is to limit the impact of your own perspective, on the piece written. One has to be careful, to not cross over into the realms of fiction. Creative Writing 203
Creative writing is liberal, and is also gut-wrenching. One has to experience a situation, fully live it inside the head, distance oneself from it, and then, present it in an acceptable manner, for others to comprehend easily. It is an internal reflection on the external world – images that are absorbed, are processed, and the edited output that results. Confessional writing, self-descriptive writing , thinly disguised fictional writing and memoirs all fall under this realm. Poetry enjoys a higher degree of freedom, in creative expression, though. The pieces need to be structured and tailored to the target audience. It is a bigger challenge, to not hurt sensibilities of others in the process of self-expression . The sensitized reader is quick to catch the points, where the internal ends, and the external begins. Narcissism Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes. Source : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism Self-projection has become a necessity, in the increasingly cacophonous and claustrophobic world. One has to do it, primarily to prevent getting lost, and then, to make oneself heard. Hence, I am wary of using a blanket description to cover all signs of narcissism in writers. I believe, there were no mirrors or camera lenses to help Narcissus, but an excessive presence of these devices in the modern world has changed life. Social media exposes the narcissist, like it has never happened in the bygone eras. It is a common mirror, in 204
which the members of a community see their reflections, and see how others react to their own reflections. I found this heart-wrenching image of the inability of a person to cover up. It is all out there, open and vulnerable.
carlotta june 2007
The following behavior patterns on social media look suspiciously narcissistic : •
Including photographs or portraits of self, some of which might be controversial, especially, in case of women.
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Creating a coterie of cheerleaders.
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Lavishing praise on a piece, with emphasis on the fact, that it was an offshoot of their ideas.
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Promoting mediocre talent with the intent of creating an army of obliged admirers.
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Intermittent declarations of leaving a network, having people cajole them into staying on, and then, not going anywhere.
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Aggressive attacks on opposing points of view.
Narcissists will always be drawn to artistic expressions, as it allows them to give a form to their illusions or delusions about themselves. The possibility of artistic success is particularly seductive to the narcissist because of the social construct of genius. The idea of ‘genius’ encapsulates the quintessence of narcissismsomeone who is touched by the gods and who can effortlessly achieve great things. – Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak But the sensitive reader will always know the difference. Any artistic expression does not hit the target, unless the viewer is able to relate to it. This reality should remain at the core of every social media expression, including those who are not writers or artists. external link(s): 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanity 2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egotistic 3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism
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COACHING Saturday 12 December 2015
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What is ‘coaching’ ? Is it training? No. Training is imparting knowledge, andragogy, helping adults develop skills through observation and experience. Is it mentoring ? No. Mentoring is letting a person below your stature benefit from your knowledge and experience, and being there with the mentee, in his/her journey towards success. I see the picture of an onion, cabbage or decorative lights in my mind. No… this is not for a table or party decoration. I see the human mind, being peeled layer by layer, revealing all its strengths, weaknesses, fears and dreams. I see a light moving through different parts of the brain, illuminating hitherto unknown and unseen aspects. The connections created by this process, lead to the formation of a new picture. The thinkers find the solutions or insights they were looking for. These would not be of much value, without application and implementation. The learner needs to reach the goal within a specified time, within his resources and without any damaging impact on others. “Enter the Coach” in the picture. He is the Handholder taking the learner ( hereafter referred to as ‘coachee’) through the mental process, by asking relevant and
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leading questions, and facilitating pathways of thought. He is also the Monitor to ensure that you act on the intentions in a defined framework of time and resources, helping you to revise goals and plans if needed. The two copper wires in an electric cable illuminate the space around you. Reverse them, and energy gradually dissipates. If the radio waves in the sky are picked up by a receiver with a matching frequency, it creates soulful music. If the frequencies do not match, it creates unpleasant sounds. The coach facilitates the harmony and unity of all related elements, to ensure delivery of the desired outcomes. What the Coach is not ? The Coach is not an advisor, not a mentor, not a trainer, not an educator, not a spiritual guru. The Coach is totally non-judgemental, refrains from expressing his views or opinions on anything. If the coach has a story, that can help putting a framework on the coachee’s thoughts, he will narrate it. But if the story is identical or contradictory to the coachee’s experience, it will not be used. The Coach is only a facilitator, who puts a structure to your thought pattern. How ? By asking questions, by creating varied mental pictures, by reframing paradigms, by paraphrasing your answers to re-confirm and emphasize. The language would by and large be as follows : •
I am curious to know …
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Is that what you are thinking about ? 208
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Would you help me in reframing this ?
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What do you think will enhance …. ?
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What do you think can be an obstruction ?
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Can you think of any other resources to support your goals ?
Then, why does a person need a coach ? They need a companion to travel with them, and take them to their destination with minimum interruptions. They need someone to ensure that intentions are converted to action plans, action plans to time-bound activity plans in a logical pattern, after taking into consideration all the external and internal resources and impact on the immediate environment. They need somebody to help them develop on their innate strengths, and utilize available resources. They help in re-inventing a person. Every person needs to overcome some cognitive biases : •
The Escalation of Commitment
The tendency for people to continue to support previously unsuccessful endeavors. •
Hyperbolic Discounting
The tendency to accept a smaller gain in the short term, rather than wait for a bigger gain. The “ A bird in the hand is better than nine in a bush” syndrome. •
Reactance or Rebellion 209
Reactance is the urge to do the opposite of what someone wants you to do out of a need to resist a perceived attempt to constrain your freedom of choice. It may not always be in your best interest. •
Herd mentality
Herd mentality is the tendency to adopt the opinions and follow the behaviors of the majority to feel safer and to avoid conflict. This may be detrimental to your own interest. •
Self-fulfilling Prophecy
Self-fulfilling prophecy is engaging in behaviors that obtain results, which confirm existing attitudes. One can never break new ground with this. •
Gamblers’ fallacy
The Gambler’s fallacy is the tendency to think that future probabilities are altered by past events, when in reality, they are not. Coaching helps in elimination of these fallacies, to reveal a clear path of action. TYPES OF COACHING •
Executive Coaching
This could be for the star performers to help them deliver better, the ones in a transition phase, the key executives to manage a crucial project, or anybody the management views as suitable. 210
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Business Coaching
This is for helping the executives hone their skills, and eliminate all mental roadblocks for high achievements in business. Applicable to all business heads. •
Career Coaching
This is to help employees smoothly glide over various phases of their career. •
Leadership Coaching
To help leaders evolve appropriate leadership styles. •
Life Coaching
This is for individuals who think they need a guide and partner, in transitional or life-changing situations. •
Health and Wellness Coaching
This includes health, fitness as well as spirituality development. skills needed to be a competent coach The skills that a competent coach will need, other than a professional certification will be : •
A good sales strategy
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Effective networking
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Emotional intelligence
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Persuasive skills 211
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Awareness of the Johari Window Concept – the four quadrants on how we see ourselves, and how the world sees us.
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Awareness of Learning Theories - Kolb’s Experiential Learning, Stages of Learning, Multiple Intelligence theory, Classical Theory of Learning, Bloom’s Hierarchy and Sensory Learning Preferences.
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Application of the learning theories to build a better connect with the client, and facilitating his thinking without advice from the coach. The difference between coaching and training is always to be borne in mind, but the learning matters.
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Deciphering body language.
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Excellent communication skills.
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Refraining from giving advice at any step in the coaching process.
THE COACHING PROCESS The coaching process broadly consists of the following steps, though the methodologies can be modified as per the need of the situation. •
Identification of the desired outcome
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Spelling out details of the desired outcome.
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Checking commitment level.
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Understanding steps taken so far. 212
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Identifying the internal and external blocks
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Identifying the greatest individual strength and the external resources.
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Understanding the impact of success and failure on self and others.
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Visualization exercise.
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Action Plan.
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Chunking down steps in the action plan, with a time frame.
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Responsibility and Accountability
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Checking commitment level to execute the action plan.
Summing it up as follows : Thoughts à Words à Intentions à Actions à Positive Habits à Success IS EVERYBODY COACHABLE ? No. The giver cannot give, unless the receiver is willing to receive. Certain people are not open to accepting suggestions, or acting on a plan. Some are in the coaching session, since it is sponsored by the company or someone else. The coach can lead a horse to the water, not force him to drink it. Non-coachability is mostly due to the following reasons : •
Seeking validation of their beliefs 213
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Seeking sympathy for their victimization by others.
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A previous experience which did not work
Both the parties are at liberty to terminate the coaching arrangement, if they see no benefit ensuing from it.
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21 APPLICATIONS OF COACHING Saturday 12 December 2015
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The Industrial Society says: "Coaching is the art of facilitating the performance, learning and development of another." Fortune Magazine says: "One to one performance coaching is the way for both organisations and individuals to significantly impact the bottom line." Coaching is defined as a context-free tool, and has fascinated me immensely. It does not need subject matter expertise, and yet, holds the potential to help people unlock their potential. It is tool for self-discovery, which can be applied in almost any sphere of life. Coaching does not work in the following situations, and both the client and coach are free to withdraw at any point : •
The client is closed, rigid, unwilling, derives satisfaction from proving others’ wrong and places the onus of change and initiative on others.
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Non-supportive organizations with a leadership that obstructs change, and do not allow implementation of changed working patterns.
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Unexpected, disruptive changes in the external environment. 215
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Absence of a functioning feedback system that allows measuring and evaluating the change.
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Anything that can invite strong legalor constitutional repercussions.
Where does coaching work ? In all situations other than those mentioned above. Coaching for Survival - People going through any kind of transition in life –whether planned or imposed, will need help in sailing through it. Coaching for Excellence is about bringing out the best in a person, tailored to a specific goal Some applications are listed below : Business applications •
Financial coaching
This can be used in Private Banking to devise client-specific solutions about retirement planning, getting out of debt, multiplying wealth, estate planning, insurance needs, determination of risk etc. This can be used by Finance Heads of companies to determine the long and short-term organizational goals, and devising business, financial and accounting plans. •
Business coaching
This is for every entrepreneur, Business Head, Product Head to devise action plans tailored to the Key Result 216
Areas. It helps in creating the right affiliations and collaborations. •
Sales and Productivity Coaching
This is used to devise sales activity plans, resource activation, awareness of external constraints and knowing how to work around them. •
Executive Coaching
This is normally sponsored by the organization, to extract maximum performance from the employees, and as a tool of retention. •
Career coaching for employees
This is not mentoring or grooming people for success. It is helping them devise suitable strategies and action plans for success ( promotions, job changes, career transitions etc.). It also helps them in accepting what cannot be changed, and developing a positive mindset. •
Employees working in multinational environments across different time zones and cultures.
A constant realignment, readjustment of waking and working hours is needed. They need to manage their personal and social relationships amidst all the chaos. •
Entrepreneurship Coaching
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This is all about resource planning and utilization, sales planning, right mental attitude and impeccable awareness of the external environment. Social applications •
Social workers and employees in social service organizations
This could be an individual or a group of individuals, working in rural management, financial inclusion, education, employment generation, upliftment of women etc. They face roadblocks at every step and need boosters to stay on the path, based on their professional choice and personal value system. •
Patients
This can be done in collaboration with hospitals and doctors, for patients in the clutches of terminal diseases, or those undergoing long drawn out therapies. This can also help victims of abuse and violence , which leave them physically and psychologically scarred. •
Religious converts or disciples
They need to develop a motivation to follow a code of conduct, a way of life and alignment to the religious principles. •
Prisoners and convicts
They need to return to a preferably normal way of life. A SWOT analysis, repercussions of continued unlawful
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actions and the benefits of a law-abiding citizen’s life need to be understood and accepted by the convicts. •
The victims of natural disasters
They have narrowly escaped death, and need to re-start life from scratch. People need a lot of motivation and clarity of thought , in their weakest moments. •
Immigrants to different countries/cultures
A massive reorientation and realignment in the thought-process and lifestyle is needed. This includes migrants from rural to urban/metropolitan areas in the same country, or students moving to the premier institutions such as IITs/IIMs, where performance pressure is high. Individual applications •
Individuals seeking weight-loss or cosmetic transformations
The need for these treatments usually stems from a low self esteem. Coaching can help the individual in achieving maximum benefits from the beauty/medical treatments, building a positive body image, and accepting what cannot be changed. •
Retired or About-to-retire individuals.
This is a transitional stage in life. The persons might need support in helping them devise suitable lifestyles, financial plans and social or family realignment.
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De-addiction cases
This would stop at a level below therapy. A coach can help the addict realize the causes and consequences of staying addicted, and the benefits of moving towards a non-toxic, de-addicted life. •
Career coaching for students
Students are at a very raw and sensitive stage in life. They lack experience, and are at a stage, where the decisions taken, can catapult them to success, or doom them to failure. A coach can help them in an effective SWOT Analysis, and deriving an action plan. •
“Empty-nesters”.
Parents are in a transition stage after the children have developed their own lives and moved out. They need a realignment to living for themselves. •
Couples in long-distance relationships
They need to make a success of the relationship, by accepting the limitations imposed by the situation and aligned to each other. •
Newly divorced individuals
This is about acceptance of their single status, single parent status after a break-up, and preparing the ground for the next relationship, if a person so desires. •
The Bereaved
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These are the people separated from their loved ones ( family, friends, lovers or pets), by the force of Death, and need to get used to a life without them.
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WHY IS COACHING EFFECTIVE ? Saturday 12 December 2015
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In one of the workshops I attended, I was given a deck of 75 cards, and asked to pull out one. The value mentioned on the card was supposed to give me the direction, that the universe wanted me to take for the day or hour. Closer inspection revealed that all 75 cards had positive values (like honesty, tact, understanding, compassion etc.) printed on them. All the 75 values put together may well constitute the essence of positivity in the world. It was a commendable effort to pull out one aspect of the good within us, and let it flow freely in the universe. Pulling out a card every morning did not make the world an idyllic place. The universe was not returning the favours. I thought about all the positive values that I grew up with, and lived by, before setting my eyes on this deck of cards. I could sense a lot of black holes in the universe, that had swallowed up the energy. Did it return Something or Nothing ? What was it doing with all the positive, negative and neutral vibes that it was receiving for aeons ? Where was the Processor ? Eureka! There was my answer. The micro-processor inside me was creating the miniscule universe around me. And there were innumerable micro-processors
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around me, which created different results with different interactions. What was my micro-processor made of ? •
The values imbibed from the environment I grew up in.
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My experiments in application of those values, and the conclusions from those.
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Selective reinforcement of some values, which became beliefs, behavior patterns, attitude and then personality.
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The interaction with several personalities, each of which had gone through a similar, but unique process.
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The absence of a positive value, became a negative value. Hence, there were as many negative values as positive. Black is not a color. It is just the absence of reflection of light from the surface. White is the result of total reflection. All the colours that we perceive are created by selective absorption of light.
And also reflections and reactions to the outer world. •
The filters were the ratios that I experienced, which colored my view of the universe.
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The choices that I made created my social, professional, political and online circles. These circles undergo a constant churning, guided by the microprocessor inside me. 223
The innumerable microprocessors around me have created a very chaotic world. The problem lies in a total absence of real-time responses from the universe. If I see it quick enough, it reinforces the value. If I don’t , I replace it with something else. The concept of Time has been a subject of research for long. Do the past, present and future co-exist ? I don’t care, and I can’t wait. I know that my life has a limited span, and I create my reality with the limited awareness that I have. The Universe has not equipped me with a larger processor. Hence, I create my own concepts and apply them in my unique way. All Philosophy and Religion is an effort to induce harmony for the perceived larger good, but at the cost of my own. Hence, it does not cut ice with me. The solution for every problem thus, needs to be customized to suit my needs. And, this is where coaching scores over training and education. It does not preach, it does not teach. It gives you an insight into your own microprocessor, and helps you in realigning it to your micro-universe, to yield results that suits your needs.
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3 GROUP DYNAMICS
The Power of the Goddess Friday 7 October 2016
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The discussion started with a post in a women’s group, and ballooned into a meaningful dialogue, highlighting different perspectives. I felt compelled to share this on a wider platform, to invite further views. The participants in the discussion are from diverse backgrounds: •
Garima Srivastava, a lawyer in Delhi.
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Prachika Saxena, Ahmedabad.
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Mani Kant, Professor of English in Ujjain (MP).
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Reena Saxena , Self
Director-HR,
Reena
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Crowne
Plaza,
Is Maa Durga (a Hindu Goddess) a manifestation of this mindset? History shows feminine power being awakened, when revenge was called for, after a bout of repression. We need to glorify proactivity, instead of reactivity. Garima
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Oppression triggers reactivity. Mythologically, Maa Durga was an oppressed householder, before she said ‘ Enough ’. Proactivity may not necessarily be triggered by oppression. It calls for awareness and foresight and resistance, on a routine basis as opposed to reactivity. The most powerful Gods and Goddesses are essentially destroyers; whether Durga, Kali, Shiva or Krishna unlike Laxmi, Saraswati, Vishnu, Brahma, who are worshipped as Creators or Preservers. They don’t negotiate with the oppressors. Feminine energy is almost always equated with patience, endurance, sacrifice, the nurture principle, compassion and ability to basically put up with glorified nonsense. The women’s sexuality is stripped off, by symbolically worshipping her as ‘Maa’ (Mother), and its variants. Any deviation from this archetype projects her in a bad light. No wonder men get confused when they come across girls who don’t fit traditional stereotypes. If a father has an extramarital affair, he faces resentment, but the mother has to face shame, as well. Reena I agree that men in present times, are confused. They cannot decide whether to play the Protector, Provider, Master or a Partner, and are compelled to switch roles. Women who have grown under a benevolent male mentor, are lauded as achievers. A woman who fights 228
her way to the top, is labelled aggressive, and hits the glass ceiling. The world will not change a mind-set that suits them, unless they are compelled to. Quiet achievement is one way of doing it, other than the retaliatory ‘Durga’ energy that the system induces. It takes a much longer time, and most of us give up, somewhere on the way. There are safer havens available with financial security. And this reinforces the image of women not treating a career as a lifelong mission. They were not allowed to do so, without a mentor. And to have a godfather, one needs to accept someone as God, which is not an easy proposition. It is all a complex web, to be dealt with, from multiple angles. Garima Your analysis has hit the nail on the head. Have no idea of other professions but in my profession, women are kicking ass, despite the persistent threat of sexual harassment, prejudice in judicial appointments and disparity in pay. Sadly, very few women lawyers are supportive of fellow women lawyers in terms of mentoring and motivation. That leaves me with this lesson – DIY. The only encouragement I have ever received, is from a few male judges. Guess they are wired or brought up to be protective, in a predominantly hostile environment for women. Would I want to let go of their support? No. Let more women into the workforce, and I am very sure the scenario will change. 99%will 229
bullshit, talk us down, seek to invalidate our achievements, but the 1% who stand by us, will matter at the end of the day. A long time ago, my mother told me “I don’t think you have it in you (to become a lawyer)”. A female lawyer I assisted a few years ago, was of the same opinion. They are not recognised lawyers anyway, so these disparaging comments did not discourage me, and a few words of encouragement from eminent people sufficed to neutralise the humiliation. Will the increase of women in the workforce, create a better work environment for women? I don’t think so. Prachika
Women who have made it big, have at some point challenged the traditional societal setup. A good mentor and/or a supportive team are more often than not, a short-lived affair. At the end of the day, women need to have the grit to move forward. The only solution is to 230
induct more and more women into boards. It will help women get rid of sexist jokes, undermining calibre and help them earn due respect. A man earns plaudits with powerful words, but a woman needs to go through execution of the task, maybe multiple times, to be branded an asset. Often women are given tasks much lower than their potential. In my view, women are comparatively more balanced and professional, natural multi-taskers and make simultaneous use of head and heart. Women are more far sighted, and weigh stakes before committing. Men often take this as a battle of brain or balls. Hiring of an executive assistant is often limited to beauty of a lesser sex, who will meekly give in to odd requests and trivial jobs. A man might resist. Suppression will backfire into oppression, with more like minded women following suit. Movies like ‘Parched’ bear testimony to such theories. Reena Prachika. I respectfully disagree on the ‘more women in the workforce’ theory, unless they support each other. Women are serious about their loyalty to a boss or mentor, and this trait is exploited to serve vested interests. Male bonding is driven by common business interests, and leveraged to their mutual benefit. Men decide how to conduct the meeting, before reaching the boardroom, maybe, over a drink the previous evening. Women take pride in coming and leaving on time, and miss out on the decision-making process. Women can be driven by an erroneous sense of righteousness in 231
doing their job well, not realizing that they have turned into puppets. Feminine power is also exercised through subtle manipulation – charm, dedication, loyalty, boss management… rather than taking something head on. The former is seen as Power, and the latter Aggression. It is almost as if men enjoy being manipulated. A woman’s power has to be a ‘gift’ from them, not a matter of right. Garima I don’t think that the word ‘aggression’ has a pejorative connotation. The more women bother about these labels, the more they will suffer these operative prejudices, if a man’s aggression is justified, so is a woman’s. Men always snatch credit for the success of a woman, and women are often heard saying this “I couldn’t have done this without the support of my hubby”. If she declares that she made it on her own, she is labelled arrogant. Across the board, the attempt is to deprive women of their agency, whether by attributing their success to manipulation, or the necessary male support in their achievements. Mani
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I agree with you to disagree. Every woman is a subdued “DURGA”, but is unaware of the latent force . IMO, elements of envy, resentment and rivalry do exist amongst women, in varying degrees. It is the woman who suppresses, harasses and ill-treats those of her own ilk. The support comes from a male, compassionate benefactor. Rebellion always arises from oppression. A woman who is mocked at, ill-treated and insulted, becomes aware of her latent energy, resistance and power, and claims her human rights. Durga is activated after undergoing this process. Humiliation propels her on the path to Success. Only those women who challenge the traditions, and defy social norms are ACHIEVERS. She builds a career, and furthers the cause by helping her family and society. Yet I would say that they do need a Male Mentor - a father, friend, husband or any such associate. Take my example – a malevolent MIL derided my meagre 233
household management skills, and held the view that academics will not help me in life. It was my husband, whose encouragement and support have made me what I am today. I therefore, disagree with a few of us. A woman in our Society cannot achieve anything alone. She needs male support --- as women don’t help. There is no competition with a man, as we complete each other. Reena
This takes the conversation back to the starting point. Women have had to battle it out, both at work and home, and that constitutes Reactivity. This could be the undeniable truth for a large part of the female population. The initiative of identifying our reality, and charting the path forward is our own. At the same time, supporting those who can benefit from our help is also a responsibility, which we cannot shirk. The good guys have been shaped by the women in their lives. As they 234
say, the finest men in the world are always married. They have experienced the female point of view. Personally for me, Proactivity stems from the courage to say No to inconvenient arrangements. It is not about choosing between a career and home, intellectual tasks and drudgery, aggressive or passive roles. It is choosing ‘I want’ over ‘I should’. It is just about doing what I believe in, and that is more of individualism, than feminism. The least that an emancipated woman can do, is to generate further discussion and enlighten others. And that was the effort behind this piece. Those who wish to contribute to further discussions are welcome to contact me (both guys and gals) :)
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The Fourth Dimension SpaceTime Saturday 5 November 2016
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Sara Jacobovici, Creative Arts Therapist, has always been a friend, guide and mentor. It was her blog on Synchronicity, (Link : https://www.bebee.com/producer/ @sara-jacobovici/synchronicity-or-being-in-time) that is the prelude to this discussion. She answers my questions here, with her characteristic patience. And I felt myself running short of blog space. So, over to Sara without wasting further time and words. RS: I experience synchronicity practically every day, in small ways, such that mentioning it sounds stupid. I cannot always tell people, that I was thinking of them, when they called, as it sounds so fake. And yet, I know my truth. SJ: As sensory beings, we receive input all the time. Each of us forms our own filtering system; how much are we open to receiving, letting in, how much are we choosing to be aware in a conscious (and conscientious) manner. I consider time as a sense. As synchronicity is related to time, the information communicated through this sense, is based on what we allow to permeate our basic five senses. The people who choose to block this information, or are not conscious of it, may respond in a negative or judgmental way to someone who is sharing the experience of 236
synchronicity. I am encouraged, Reena, that you do not allow individual reactions to influence your experience, and what you know to be true. RS: From your article, I interpret that synchronicity could mean that the cause and effect takes place in different zones, and there is an underlying rhizome that connects. What has always baffled me is that, why do we NOT get a response at times? I understand now, that no response is also a response. It is an indication that we should change direction. SJ : We are still proving Einstein’s theory that time is relative and that time and space are not separate but exist as space-time, the Fourth Dimension. Giving credit where it’s due: Einstein did not quite finish the job of presenting his theory of relativity as, what is referred to, the Fourth Dimension. That space and time could be seen as components of a single four-dimensional space-time fabric came from Hermann Minkowski, who announced it in a 1908 colloquium with these words: Henceforth, space by itself, and time by itself, are doomed to fade away into mere shadows, and only a kind of union of the two will preserve an independent reality. In this way Reena, synchronicity takes place not only in a time zone, but an area of space or place. That is why we can actually look at changing directions; the experience is not fixed in any way.
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Absolutely, “no response is also a response”. As Mozart said: “ The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between.” RS: Time is a framework that we superimpose on reality, to make it more relevant to our life.
SJ : You give us more credit than I would, Reena. You describe, in a poetic way, what I think we do in order to feel more in control, as a result of “sensing” time as something that is out of our control; we measure it, with devices we have crafted. We do the same thing when we create opposites. In both our personal and professional lives, it is more manageable to work with ideas, strategies, plans, goals, relationships, feelings and so on, if we place them in an opposite: Life/Death; Good/Evil; Right/Wrong; Pleasure/Pain; Love/Hate; Beautiful/Ugly; Rich/Poor; Success/Failure; to name just a few. These states, however useful they are in organizing ourselves, do not exist; they have been created by us to 238
help make sense of who we are, in relation to others, and our environment. Opposites, as adjectives, describe, “a position on the other or further side of something; diametrically different; of a contrary kind.� This adjective can be applied as a means to clarify a part of a whole but is not accurate if it is to define a place that is separate or distinct from another. So, instead of being in time, we create that framework to try to contain time. RS: That brings so much of clarity, Sara. But the complexity lies in the seeming irreversibility of certain phenomena -- like aging and death, and hence, time is seen as finite. SJ: To experience time as finite is to experience time as fragmented; it starts and stops. This thinking can lead to experiencing time in a linear manner; it begins and it ends. Neither is true from the perspective of time. The phenomena you mention describe a process (aging) and a state (death). From my perspective both exist as a result of movement and transformation. In the process of transformation a state will become something else and no longer have any of the elements of the previous state, while at other times a new state occurs when elements of two or more states combine to form something new but still retaining elements of the original states. I consider myself a process oriented person. I think this is one way to prevent getting stuck in time and place. 239
RS: Okay, I get it. It is the body that ends or transforms, not the time span. I came across an interesting postulate by Deepak Bidap on LinkedIn, which says that the Living and Non-Living may be alternate states. An analogy has been drawn with liquid and solid states, and the conversion of one into another. Physicists say that solids are just a denser form of energy, compared to liquids and gases. The poor communication between the present and future, also makes it incomprehensible to the average mind. It takes a seer to reach there, and then, come back and talk about it. Those who succeed in implanting a part of the future in the world, they presently inhabit, are lauded as visionaries. SJ : Fear makes communication poor and incomprehensible. Fear is a strong factor in preventing us from seeing beyond what is right in front of our eyes. The fear of the unknown holds us back from becoming visionaries. RS: And the fear has been labelled as the ‘beauty of suspense’. Aren’t we all in a suspended state, awaiting transformation, but unaware that we are undergoing the same, every moment? The movement of the Sun is used as a measure of time, as it impacts life on this planet, directly and visibly. Do other planets use the Sun as a reference
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point, or some other relative movement influences their sense of Time? SJ: Movement and speed are what influence our perception of time, and actually influence its relativity. Einstein's theory of relativity says that time slows down or speeds up depending on how fast you move relative to something else (reference points). The relativity is actually measurable; approaching the speed of light, a person inside a spaces hip would age much slower than his twin at home. Because the sun’s movement is experienced as constant and predictable, we depend on it as the reference point you mention. I am not able to “shed any light” on what other planets use, but definitely movement would be the key element in influencing any measurement of time. RS: Yes. I have come across the Twins Paradox Theory and the Doppler Effect, with a lot of mathematical calculations. There is an equal amount of criticism of the theory. But. Einstein does enlarge the canvas of thinking, to include outer space. Is synchronicity a function of communication on a larger canvas, beyond the five known senses? SJ : Definitely. Communication takes place constantly on every level and system; be it on a cellular level or in the newly discovered sound of a gravitational wave.
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Vibration (movement) is the carrier which enables the communication to take place. I love your use of the image of communication taking place on a larger canvas; synchronicity definitely produces the brush strokes of communication on that canvas. In this way each image formed or created is a unique experience based on the elements involved at the time the synchronicity took place. RS: Is there some form of energy that has not yet been discovered and defined by physicists, and hence, we are unable to decipher the theory completely? Like the proverbial black holes? SJ : Much more is out there yet to be discovered compared to what we have been able to discover to date. And yes, only parts of the picture are clear at this point. We are filling in the missing pieces with our imagination. The paradox is that it is this imagination of what we have yet to discover that becomes the catalyst for discovery. RS: Fully agree. Are some of us more attuned to these universal signals than others? SJ : I believe so. It takes us back to that filter we form or create. A sensory filter is definitely necessary but this is the piece that makes the difference between being more attuned or not. Because the filter is a protective device, if we mistakenly interpret something as a threat (maybe because of the fear of the unknown), we risk closing ourselves off to more than is necessary. 242
RS: Is the occult just a connection to other parts of the universe? Maybe it is, but the quacks have made it look so ridiculous. SJ : Science today is constantly “proving� what many professionals have already known or some were able to imagine; anything from the impact music has on our physiology to gravitational waves. Unfortunately, there are quacks in all disciplines who give the theoretical framework of that discipline a bad name; until science comes along and proves the real professionals right. Then you have the challenges of what connotations a word has or holds; occult has a history that doesn’t make it popular to the masses. In time (pun intended) as science supplies some necessary validity to some of these challenging concepts, those connotations will change. RS: Music is of course, your forte. Incidentally, I came across a confirmation by NASA, of the theory that human beings can survive on solar energy. It is taken in through the lower line of the eye, one hour after sunrise, or an hour before sunset, when the intensity is unlikely to damage the retina. One needs to start with just 10 seconds at a time. On that note, Sara, I thank you for being a wonderful companion, on this path of discovery. Though the biggest human handicap is the loss of memory on death, I hope that I leave this world a little wiser, than I have been for times immemorial.
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Cafe Gyaan - A Chat with Mukund Bhokarkar Sunday 16 October 2016
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We are in a conversation with Mukund Bhokarkar, a Vadodara-based professional, Â who proposes to bring together similar minds in the consulting, training and coaching professions through his initiative Cafe Gyaan. Reena Mukund, Thank you for your initiative in creating a forum for intellectuals. I have been thoroughly enjoying the discussions and bonhomie, for the past few weeks. I have had a different observation on intellectuals, so far. There is no intellectual community as such. One sees islands of excellence, feeling smug and self-sufficient in their ivory towers, whereas the power-hungry join hands to create impenetrable bastions to protect their interests. What is your take on this? Mukund I have created this forum with a hind sight. Individuals with a shared pragmatic approach, that arises out of sheer experience and exposure; notwithstanding their educational background, intellect or smartness, shall come together. The idea struck, after I experienced two 244
such communities in succession, prior to creating Cafe Gyaan. I have opted out of one, and continue to be a part of the other. What I experienced at large was a prevalent stiffness, bordering on secrecy and silence. It was understandable, but also avoidable to an extent. Café Gyaan is a concept born out of that grail. We are still at a very nascent stage, and the ice has not been completely broken. How and when will it happen? I don’t know. But it will happen for sure. Once everybody opens up to an appreciable extent, pretentiousness and inhibitions will fall on the wayside. We need time, maybe, a few months. And I know it can happen. It will. I have made it possible earlier. We have members with a strong self-identity and image. The differences are superficial, and that is totally acceptable. Believe me, with passage of time, they shall bond. To give an analogy, once we become the organs of a body, we shall relate and grasp the possibilities of this group’s potential. At this stage, we do not even come close to being tissues. We are still at a cellular level. Reena What I hear you saying, Mukund, is that a random bunch of ideologies and intellects, will evolve into a productive force to be reckoned with. I am not sure, if this method will be close to evolution of groupthink, or cherry-picking the best to create a bouquet. What I do see is a potential to customize a 245
product to suit the market, with the talent pool available. Social media certainly facilitates and speedens up interactions. How do you think your initiative “Café Gyaan“ as different from regular entertainment groups? Mukund As I said, Cafe Gyaan is different because of a thumb rule that I insist upon. Members will have an industry experience of minimum two decades, excluding the time spent in training and coaching. You must have observed, that neither do I encourage copy paste, nor sharing of good morning/good evening messages. We have survived. Over passage of time, we will chisel our identity and create unique fingerprints. Gradually, we will eliminate copy/paste/share/forward messages completely. Only self-authored posts will be permitted. Its utility and worth shall then be self evident. Reena I completely agree, that writing compels us to put our thoughts together in a comprehensible and comprehensive manner. It is very different from the tidbits of information that we are flooded with, which need a separate effort to connect the dots. Given the central push on Skill Development, and the disjointed demand-supply scenario, what kind of synergies do you foresee emerging in the next decade? 246
Mukund Workforce training will transform into shaping individuals. It should take at least a decade. But individuals shall be custom skill-developed, in fitment with their utility in the system. Today, we are experiencing a mass eviction of workforce from factories and companies. A new age will dawn in the not-so-distant future, when the parent will decide how its child is supposed to be shaped. The offspring will need to fit into a jigsaw puzzle, having limited open spaces with a pre-determined shape. Synergy? That is wishful thinking. Life has already been progressively rendered complicated, by anything that Technology evolves. Synergy is possible only when there is Symbiosis. An unknown future awaits us, with Artificial Intelligence and machinations. Reena What is your take on artificial intelligence? To what extent can it replace the power of human discretion and choice? Mortals like me take some time to minimise the adverse impact of AutoCorrect. What kind of reskilling initiatives will be needed to survive in the emerging scenario? Mukund Many functions can be mimicked, but total replacement is impossible. Because Human ‘thinking’ is subject to 247
emotional bias, and non probability-driven judgments; hence can err. To err is human. Machine Thinking shall not ‘err’. We have a ray of hope there. The ability to err, and Unpredictability shall be the two major identifiable human factors which an AI machine (thinking) shall never be able to clone. Custom honing of job related skills shall be the call of that era. I cannot pinpoint exactly as to which skills. Not visible today. It shall be too distant. Reena To sum up, shall I say that our generation stands on the edge of a revolution? “We were not born into this, and we do not have complete control over an overwhelming phenomenon. But we do have the privilege of being the early shapers and adapters”. Thanks for being with us on Dynamics. I hope that we will be partners in various phases of a very interesting journey ahead. Those who wish to be a part of Café Gyaan can contact Mukund Bhokarkar, on the given coordinates. https://in.linkedin.com/in/mukund-bhokarkar-bb32141a
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Digital Banking - A Chat with Niraj Verma on Dynamics Saturday 19 November 2016
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Niraj Verma is a senior consultant in the banking technology space. He is a banker, ideator, trainer, an artist and a writer. He introduced himself in a rather interesting manner, which I share here – “You are of course right when you say my profile is all over the place and difficult to slot. I have always been uncomfortable with conforming and reluctant to fit into a mold. I guess, that makes it difficult to find a regular smooth-sided hole for this oddly shaped peg”. RS: Hi, Niraj. Welcome to Dynamics. The nation has been abuzz with demonetization and digital talk in the last few days. Fintech is the sector celebrating more than anyone else, as the future looks bright. At the same time, it is not without its challenges. What is your perspective on the overall emerging scenario? EnV: Hi, Reena. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to share my views. 249
When we listen carefully to the chatter on digital money or FinTech with particular reference to Demonetization-2016, we find there are two distinct sets of people who are talking loudly. •
those who are active players in the FinTech space would like to take advantage of the emerging situation, to increase their market share, and
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those who are trying to downplay the chaos by extolling the supposed virtues of digital money. They callously ridicule the genuine problems of a large section of population.
The first set is engaged in genuine business development, which is absolutely fine. My problem is with the second set. These commentators come from relatively affluent sections of society, and are financial and tech-savvy. They are grossly ignorant, if not downright dismissive, of day-to-day problems faced by the less fortunate. When the FI initiatives started during UPA rule, conservative estimates of unbanked population stood at roughly 45%. Current estimates put the figure at about 30%. In addition, there are urban poor and lower middle class who can at best be classified as under-banked. They would be about 15%-20% of the population. That should tell anyone that about 45%-50% of the population, even as on date, is simply not in a position to adapt to a cashless digital economy.
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Demonetization-2016, its ill-planned rollout and the consequent transactional issues would indeed provide a push for higher adoption of digital money. However, the larger digital spend would come from those who are already using it in a limited manner, and accelerated onboarding of some potential  converts, who would have otherwise shifted in a year or two. Unbanked and under-banked sections of the society cannot make a magical or significant move to digital money, before cashless market places become the norm (rather than the exception). Demonetization-2016, on its own , cannot play a significant role in creation of a cashless economy. When we talk about fintech, payment technology providers like PayTM occupy a disproportionately high visual share in public perception. Actually, the fintech space includes a lot more. Yes, Demonetization-2016 would certainly accelerate the growth of payment technology companies, but, would not cause a major impact on the growth of fintech space in its entirety. RS : How do you view the Indian challenges on using digital as a tool of financial inclusion, as compared to other countries, say Kenya? IMHO, the technological challenge lies in having simplified user-friendly interfaces in multilingual formats, and internet education. Existing networks like the Financial Literacy Centers (FLCs) and Internet Saathi (initiated by Google and Tata Trusts, using trained female instructors) can play a pivotal role. But, they need to be integrated in the overall 251
financial system, without being captive to a bank or financial institution. EnV: In 2006, I had developed a branchless banking solution for a financial services entity in Venezuela. The solution was based purely on the mobile platform. It was fairly successful. Similarly in Kenya, mobile banking technologies have been successfully harnessed for a financial inclusion initiative. The linguistic diversity in these countries is much less than that in India. That brings us directly to your observation about user interfaces in regional languages. While customizing a US CBS (Core Banking system) for international clients in China, Thailand and Mexico, all user interfaces had to be converted to the local languages. If you look at CBS solutions implemented in countries like Germany, France, Russia or any East European country, you will find a non-English interface. India is one of the few  markets where banking applications use an English interface, in sync with the comfort of the bankers, rather than the end-user.  In the pre-CBS era, I had designed a bilingual total/partial branch automation application. The solution was implemented with English UI in some District Central Co-operative Banks (DCCBs) in MP/UP, and with Hindi UI in some DCCBs in Chhattisgarh. The level of end-user comfort was higher with the Hindi application.
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UI, SMS texts and alerts should ideally be tailored to the needs of the intended user-base and device. The application developers have lately, acknowledged the importance of designing device-specific UI. However, the pivotal role of end-users is yet, not recognized. Given the scale of linguistic diversity in India, I believe, we may have to develop a new pictorial and digital language. Think smileys. Or Fineticons (on the lines of emoticons). In India the FI programs have, by and large, focused on opening zero-balance savings accounts, without giving much thought to touch points for the new customers. The default touch point for such customers continues to remain the traditional brick-and-mortal outlets. Even when an interface through a Business Correspondent has been provided, the model supports and promotes a cash economy. If the intent was to facilitate a transition to cashless economy, creating an ecosystem with access to alternative channels like net-banking, kiosk banking and mobile banking should have been an integral component of the drive. It was never part of the plan. RS: Let us say, we are taking a step-by-step approach. A lack of transparency in the entire plan is creating a hazy view ‌‌ EnV Maybe. Lately, the number of mobile connections has been discussed as an indicator of suitability of mobile banking solutions for financial inclusion and the digital 253
economy. IMO, the number of connections are grossly inflated especially with reference to rural and semi-urban centers. If I were to cite my own example I am using 4 numbers – 2 for Delhi (Data Plan & Voice Plan) 1 for WiFi & 1 for Kolkata, my wife uses 3 numbers (Family, Friends & Work), my elder son uses 3 numbers (Work, Personal & WiFi) and my younger son uses 2 numbers (General & WiFi). That works out to 12 numbers for a family of 4, and I have not counted the numbers that we have stopped using for one reason or other. I’m reasonably certain that the real count of persons holding mobile connections would be about 60%-70% of the reported connections and most of them would be found residing in metro & urban centers. Therefore, we cannot look at mobile banking solutions only, as a preferred mode of digitizing FI transactions. A standard starter kit with a smart card, multiple options including agent-initiated-funding, support for multiple funds transfer and encashment methods, and preactivated mobile banking seems a better option to enable financial inclusion and a digital economy. I am not sure of the utility of private initiatives like FLCs and Internet Saathis, primarily because supervision would be a major problem. I would rather have state-certified trained agents who can enter into standard agreements with multiple BFSI entities. All reasonably-sized population centers may be served by several such agents to ensure adequate competition and better customer service. 254
When you design and operate a system to cater to low-income groups, cost becomes a critical factor. You and I may be OK with offsetting additional cost of plastic money transactions against inconvenience of going out and cost of fuel/transport; a daily wage laborer would be more likely to walk a few miles to shop. We need an aggressive FI initiative, rapid adaption of payment technologies and hard-headed rationalization of service charges and taxes on plastic money transactions. Most important, we must remember that semi-literate/illiterate, low-earning members of society derive comfort from physical possession of hard cash. They are weary of banking institutions, due to some discouraging past experience. We may not be able to bring about an overnight transformation. RS: However, the change needs to be initiated. The concept of a distribution network is changing. A bank outlet will be a device and a box, placed in maybe a kirana shop. EnV: Banking has indeed come a long way from Jesus Christ driving the money-changers out from the Temple. Neither Shylock nor Lala Sukhiram can thrive in the current money-lending scenario. The set of intended customer bases and customer touch points have also evolved and changed over a period of time with development of communication technologies.
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Your example of a device placed in a kirana shop, is an instance of kiosk banking. You can think of kiosk banking, manned or unmanned, as a variation on the extension counter concept. Another example would be tab banking – a mobile extension counter. I am reminded of an advert from a leading bank, promoting its mobile app as a ‘bank branch in your pocket’. You could call your smartphone as your very own banking street in the pocket. Technological advances in wearable devices and IOT, would enable bank branches on your wrists, around your neck housed in a pretty necklace, and any number of household gadgets. The very objectives of the BFSI sector have changed over a period of time with emergence of social banking concepts. RS: Social or developmental banking is not so new. The technological angle is the novel factor. From the upcoming payment banks (PBs) and small finance banks (SFBs), some have the advantage of a physical distribution network, some are cash-rich and some telecoms have a deep penetration in the interiors. The universal banks were compelled to open 25% of their new branches in unbanked areas, which they might find unviable. How do you visualize several players functioning on the same field? Will they have tie-ups, or will the competition consume them?
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EnV: What functionalities differentiate universal banks from SFBs from PBs, strictly speaking, depend entirely on how a national regulator chooses to define a set of commonly recognised banking functions. Compelling universal banks to open x% of new branches in unbanked areas has to be accepted as an unpleasant, but necessary requirement of the transition phase. The universal digital ecosystem is still a long way off, and the distrust/discomfort of the unbanked sections of the society needs to be overcome. Universal banks had to shoulder the burden, being better placed to cross-subsidize a few unviable activities. A case may be made though, that opening branches is not the only way to achieve the FI objective. Appointment of authorized agents and tie-ups with other entities already having local presence and offering complementary services should be enough for both customer onboarding and servicing. RS: This methodology has been used in the Jan Dhan Yojana, but the implementation left a lot of question marks. Agencies sprung up for conducting household surveys, and charging upto Rs.20/- per household, only to tell if the family was banked or unbanked. They were supported by local State Level Banker Committees (SLBCs), and in most cases, engaging them was the Hobson’s choice for bankers. I am not sure, if we still have a digitized 257
comprehensive demographics.
database,
with
all
relevant
EnV: Technological developments now enable BFSI entities to serve a global customer base out of single corner offices, depending only on the definition of a set of services, target clientele and selective technologies. The physical model would not be needed for expansion. I foresee some consolidation, as many promoters of new banks not conversant with the rigors of running a bank, develop cold feet or incur unsustainable losses, are unable to meet regulations and fall by the wayside. It would be far more interesting to see the impact of the new banks on the cooperative sector. The financially distressed cooperative banks might fold up, though the market size is large enough to support many more banking entities. We might even see smaller banks serving limited geographies forming conglomerates, to serve the larger market based with some sort of drawing arrangement. From a technological perspective, the UPI (United Payments Interface) has already brought them on a single platform. In 2006, I had designed a CBS solution that could support multi-bank nodal implementation model. NAFSCOB also had certified the application for SAAS implementation. Recently, I was in discussion with Intellect Design . They are working on something similar 258
with FT-GRID. The key here, I think, would be switching from Private Cloud or Hybrid Cloud to Shared Hybrid Cloud. RS: Thank you, Niraj, for being with us on Dynamics. It was a very enlightening conversation. I hope to continue the discussion with you, next week, on the online credit perspective. Readers, stay with us. external link(s): 1. http://www.intellectdesign.com/
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Online Lending - A 'Dynamics' chat with Niraj Verma Sunday 4 December 2016
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Online lending in India, has so far been limited to P2P lending. It is a platform, where the borrower and lender come together to meet mutual requirements, and the platform (unlike a bank), only charges a fee for the services. The ROI on loans is reported to be as high as 36% in some cases. Online lending is at a very nascent stage in India. About 20 P2P online lending firms are reported to have sprung up in 2015, but they do not occupy prominent visibility in the market. The RBI did publish a consultation paper in April, 2016, classifying them as NBFCs for regulatory purpose, but the overall direction remains hazy. We continue the discussion with Niraj Verma on Dynamics, to explore the world of online lending, and the risk/dangers/limitations involved. Previous discussion: Digital Banking - a 'Dynamics' chat with Niraj Verma RS: Hi, Niraj ‌ Welcome back. I noticed a rather sceptical view on digital banking, in both online and 260
offline discussions on the subject, after our last chat. Perhaps, it stems from an ingrained fear of transparency. It could also be the increased risk of frauds with enhanced transparency. Online lending, thus, becomes a very sensitive subject. I have read some very technically informative blogs by you on the subject. Can you brief us on the retail lending scenario in India? EnV: Let us begin with a brief recap of evolution of lending systems in general. All lending transactions need a lender, a borrower and a touchpoint. In the pre-industrial era, peasant borrowers would seek out a moneylender in the village for loans. It was impossible to borrow from a remote lender. Moneylenders, too, were comfortable in dealing with local borrowers. Lender-borrower relations were based on personal equations. The State had a negligible say, and the village was the only geographical touchpoint. Later, brick-and-mortar banking offered an additional, reasonably priced avenue. The geographical constraint remained, and institutional lending was regulated, formal and impersonal. Yet, it managed to erode the influence of moneylenders. Implementation of Core Banking System (CBS) and Loan Origination System (LOS) technologies provided an interesting twist. Banks offered loans to a target market of pre-qualified potential loan applicants. These 261
systems use two touchpoints – telecom/Internet for the preliminary offer, and a brick-and-mortar branch for processing the loan application. RS: With this background, how do you visualize the future of online lending shaping up in India? EnV: Online lending systems are part of the ongoing Fintech revolution. Strictly speaking, FinTech simply refers to a technology platform that connects consumers and providers of financial services. Types of financial services supported, depend on design of the platform. Online lending platforms use cyberspace as the primary touchpoint. These platforms •
Empower credit seekers to explore more lending options, with less geographical constraints.
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Enable non-institutional lenders like participate in the loaning process and
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Help institutional lenders to expand their outreach at minimal incremental costs.
HNIs
to
Incidentally, personal details of credit applicants need not be, and should not have public exposure on the platform, without the applicant’s explicit consent. Such information should ideally be disclosed to a P2P lender only after a firm credit offer has been made and accepted, or to an institutional lender on expression of 262
interest. Privacy concerns should override any pretense to total transparency. Fintech opened its innings with money transfer and payment applications. Crowd-funding and online lending applications appeared later. Initially the FinTech platforms were designed to support P2P lending to salaried employees and professionals only. The current trend, however, is to enter into collaborative partnerships with institutional lenders as well for increased traction and accelerated growth. One would have expected the FinTech companies to move on to MSME and Agri Business/Rural clientele. However, progress is slow, with the lack of predictable cash flows, a paucity of reliable credit rating agencies and consequent problems in designing an appropriate scoring system. Another major problem with online lending systems, is the lack of user interfaces (UI) in local languages, and it excludes a large non-English speaking population. Fintech platforms will take some more time cater to MSME and Agri Business/Rural segments. RS: Where are we on detection and prevention of frauds? Are we capable of tracing a defaulter online, if s/he has disappeared from the recorded address? Since security systems are not fool proof, will changes be necessitated in the law? 263
EnV: A comprehensive lending system has three components - Loans Origination System (LOS), Loans Management System (LMS) and NPA Management System (NPAMS). LOS typically starts with lead generation and ends with disbursal. LMS take over after disbursal and is usually limited to interest-computation and transaction-processing. NPAMS takes over after a loan turns bad, and encompasses the complete cycle of repayment reminders, negotiations, re-amortization, compromise settlements, interest funding, interest remission, rehabilitation, legal proceedings and write-offs. Some fintech companies, reluctant to enter transaction processing, limit the online lending functionality to a subset of LOS, which stops just before disbursal. Though, most companies cover the entire LOS functionality and a part of LMS : •
Registration of Lenders
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Registration of Credit Applicants
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Posting of Credit Request by Credit Applicants
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Pre-approval of Credit Request
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Pre-verification of Credit Request
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Publication of Credit Requests
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Posting of Credit Offers by Lenders
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Sharing Credit Offers with Applicant
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Loan Documentation
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Loan Disbursal
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Repayment Transactions
The ‘Pre-approval of Credit Request’ sub-process checks the submitted data to ensure that the applicant profile matches the one specified by some institutional lender, or as deemed acceptable by a majority of P2P lenders. The ‘Pre-verification of Credit Request’ sub-process next, checks the veracity of the submitted data. This sub-process includes both online and offline checks. The risk of identity theft (a major cause of online frauds), thus stands minimized. TAT, though, would depend on the number and nature of checks. Chances of detection of a defaulter are actually higher than that in the traditional banking model, as a software routine can be used to run a periodical check on all related social media profiles. The LMS functionality can be made more robust with analytic and predictive functionality, coupled with offline checks. Detection of fraudulent diversion of funds, though, is possible only during field inspections, and hence is out of the purview of online lending systems. This is only about design and implementation of processes that minimize risk of default. It reminds me of an interesting conversation with a consultant. She is in discussion with some prospective clients who wish to 265
launch a fintech platform, for the same client segment that is normally served by NBFCs and MFIs. Her apprehension was that finding credit ratings from credible rating institutions would be rather difficult, as such clients play havoc with the standard scoring system. I suggested a variant of Self Help Group (SHG) concept, to introduce an element of distributed and shared liability. Another way could be to create a pseudo credit history based on payments of utility bills. The point is that a customized solution can be devised to reduce risk. RS: Great insights! Expanding on the same concept, which type of loans do you think, can be covered with just a future projection of information and resources available today? Do you visualize a system for consortium lending to industry being developed online? Online lending platforms can be classified in three major categories: •
Pure P2P platforms
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Platforms promoted by an institutional lender as an extension of its other platforms and
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Hybrid platforms that can support P2P lenders as well as one or more institutional lenders.
The pure P2P platforms, for reasons enumerated earlier, accept personal loan applications from salaried 266
employees, and a few professionals, only. The functionality can be easily extended to cover loan requests for purchase of consumer durables and vehicles, by the same client base, provided a legal framework on creating charge on financed assets is developed first. Small business loans to MSMEs may also be handled if the platform incorporates functionality like ratio analysis, cash/funds flow generation & analysis, working capital assessment by 1 st /2 nd method of lending, what-if analysis etc. to enable a P2P lender as well make an informed credit decision. In case of an institutional lender, whether on an owned or a hybrid platform, theoretically all loan products can be supported, given that the detailed credit appraisal will be done offline. Such offline appraisal should also take care of qualitative assessment requirements. The only major issue will be handling LMS processes for a running credit facility. RS: Right. I was thinking about the same issue of a running credit facility. Maybe, some ‘if this, then that‌.’ logic can be infused in the existing transactional functionalities. EnV: One possible solution could be issuing smart cards to avail running limits, and routing the transactions through the platform. The scoring systems, designed for the salaried employees and professionals, will not work for 267
other segments. A new scoring system would be needed. Consortium finance can very well be handled thru’ a fintech platform, which has all consortium lenders as its members. Some additional functionalities would of course, be needed. •
Secure channel of communication between the FIs to allow formation of a lenders’ consortium to finance a project,
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Functionality to handle several credit facilities sanctioned and disbursed by more than one FI linked to a single credit request,
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Functionality to download transaction data from a 3 rd party CBS & to upload transaction data to a 3 rd party CBS,
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Functionality to accept, as upload MSOD & QIS, data for onward transmission to the lender FIs in the consortium and
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Push notifications from one lender FI to other lender FIs in the consortium.
On account of high amount of funds involved and multiplicity of parties, many more offline activities related to pre-sanction verification, negotiations, field inspections etc. will happen outside the purview of online lending system. RS: 268
What is the overall outlook for the future? EnV: Online lending is still a work-in-progress. Customer acquisition has emerged as a major problem for pure P2P lending platforms. Single FI sponsored platforms would just end up as an extension of their LOS systems in cyberspace. Hybrid platforms, that support multiple FIs and P2P lenders operate in the same loaning space, may be more successful in the years to come. It will be even more interesting if some such platform were to allow preapproved dealers of consumer durables and vehicles to come on board as vendor-members . Ad revenue from such vendor-members would also help reduce the transaction costs. IMO a lot is needed. of work by the regulators, FIs and application developers, before we can even think on online credit system. Links to Niraj Verma’s blogs on the subject: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/online-lending-laym ans-perspective-niraj-verma?trk=mp-reader-card https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/online-lending-feath er-truth-niraj-verma?trk=mp-reader-card
external link(s): 1. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/digital-banking-dynamicschat-nirajverma-reena-saxena?trk=mp-author-card 2. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/online-lending-laymans-perspectiveniraj-verma?trk=mp-reader-card 269
3. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/online-lending-feather-truth-nirajverma?trk=mp-reader-card
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4 PERSONAL BRANDING
Dressing on the Plus Side - Part 1 Monday 20 June 2016
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Retail therapy is often undertaken to get over depression, and is effective. However, people like me who are on the ‘plus’ side of the population sink into deeper depression, on not finding the kind of clothes that give an instant lift. One has to depend more on accessories and make-up, to induce the ‘feel good’ factor. I found the mirror to be a more honest friend, than the ‘friendly’ salesperson, wanting to pile the ‘latest’ styles on you, irrespective of the fact, whether they suit my body type or not. A personal style has evolved over the years, and I prefer referring to this style book, rather than the latest copy of Vogue. The five elements of dressing - Line, Shape, Pattern, Color and Texture can be applied skilfully to create an illusion of being slimmer than you actually are : Line The lines in the cut, pattern or fabric should always be vertical or diagonal. Vertical lines add to the length, and diagonal lines move the eye away from the width. Any horizontal line cuts the view in two, thus reducing the appearance of vertical length.
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Wear vertical yokes/panels on kurtas and tops, princess cuts, slight A-line flares, few kalis in the kurta from neckline to hemline with very little flare.
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Wear vertical or diagonal stripes in patterns.
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Asymmetric cuts will also provide diagonal lines.
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Monochromatic color combinations to be used, to avoid a sharp visual break at any point in the body.
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Avoid wearing belts or sashes.
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Avoid sharp contrasts between the trousers/skirts and top, as it will draw attention to the dividing line at the waist.
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Avoid short/cap sleeves, as the eye stops at the widest part of the arm. Preferably wear three-quarter or full sleeves.
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Avoid horizontal layers in garments.
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Draw attention towards the face with a good hairstyle, makeup, scarf, embroidered neckline, jewellery etc., so that the eye does not travel downwards towards the body.
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Shape •
We need to draw the eye inwards at the midriff.
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The clothes should be semi-fitted, moving smoothly over the body – neither too clinging nor too loose.
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Avoid big flares, as it will reinforce the variation in the body.
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Asymmetric cuts will disguise the rounded shape.
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The shape of the garments should be straight. Rounded shapes will make the body look bulbous. Close fits will also accentuate the curves that you wish to conceal.
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No clinging garments like knits, T-shirts, lycra etc.
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No ruffles or frills in the shapes, as it will add to the bulk.
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No horizontally panelled skirts. 274
Fabric and texture •
Shiny fabrics will reflect light, thus increasing the visual size, hence to be avoided.
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No sheer or clinging fabrics like net, chiffon, chanderi.
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Wear matte fabrics with a slightly rough finish. It draws the eyes inwards, and falls in straight lines.
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Silk and soft cotton are ideal choices. Thick knits that do not cling are also good. Gaberdine, denim, corduroy, wool, woollen blends, crepe, linen, khadi, polyester blends can be worn.
Pattern
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Wear gingham checks, small polka dots, medium paisley prints, small floral or leaf patterns, vertical and diagonal stripes etc.
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Horizontally placed blocks or bands, horizontal stripes on skirts or t-shirts are a total no-no.
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Do not combine too many patterns. One patterned piece in the whole outfit is sufficient.
Color •
Dark colors absorb light, and hence, draw the eye inward. Pale colors will reflect light, and give you a larger appearance.
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Neon and high intensity colors also make you look larger, hence, are to be avoided.
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Wear dark and deep colors in bottoms. It makes the midriff look smaller. 276
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Navy, burgundy, black, rust, bottle green will all give a slimmer appearance.
Another post will follow on suggested garments, and how to put them together to create outfits. Till, then, sort out your wardrobe to check what is really good for you.
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Dressing on the Plus Side - Part 2 Monday 20 June 2016
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Hope you had a good time exploring your wardrobe. Let us see how can we put together various separates to create glam outfits for our ‘plus’ selves. •
Creating a contrast
If we are combining a dark and light color, wear the dark color closer to the skin. It draws the eye in, and reduces the bulk. The lighter color can be added as a layer on top.
2. Lay it On
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Long Layers conceal a lot of flaws in the figure, be it an Indian or western outfit. See how it can glam up a saree or skinny jeans.
3. Indian chic Straight kurtas with straight pants are your best pals. Dupattas add bulk. Substitute them with a sstole, or drape them in a sleek style, not in voluminous folds.
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4. Saree drapes Dare to be a Chandni, and let the pallu hang loose on the side. It conceals the midriff, while displaying the glorious designs on the pallu.
5. Star with the stripes Wear Vertical, Dream Diagonal and Hide the Horizontal. Chuck out all horizontal stripes and patterns from the wardrobe, be it a Kanjeevaram, Patola or Ikat.
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6. Asymmetric Amour Asymmetrics will carry the day and swing the night for you. The viewer’s eye moves zig-zag and misses the problem areas.
7. Party Pop
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Lehengas or any kind of bottom can go with a sherwani top. Pull out your classic sarees, and convert them to these contemporary outfits.
Happy Dressing, Diva ! You have more of everything.
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'Plus Size' Sarees Monday 20 June 2016
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Is size an issue ? OMG ! The saree is a just a six-yard piece of fabric that can be draped around for maximum effect, in a manner that the actual shape of the body disappears. Wow ! Spend some time at Nariman Point in Mumbai, or DLF Cyber City in Gurgaon, and a saree is a rare treat for the eyes. Working women have by and large, given it up, for the sake of convenience. However, an invitation to a wedding or cultural soiree sends them looking deep into the wardrobes for an evening saree. The saree will stay with Indians for sometime, and hence, do not be in a hurry to bid adieu to your traditional wardrobe. Plus-sized women are advised to wear saree or a kameez with different kinds of legwear, as plus-sized evening gowns and dresses are not easily available. However, we cannot deny that the ever-gracious garment exposes more than other outfits, and all are not happy exposing the rolls and midriff. So, how does one resolve the problem ? Try these simple, workable tricks to make yourself look more graceful, if not slim and svelte. •
Leave the pallu hanging, instead of pinning it up. It covers the midriff. This works better for sarees with a medium to light fabric. Thick fabrics like South Indian silks will add to the bulk. 283
2. Wear longer blouses.
3. Wear blouses with three fourth or full sleeves, if the arms are heavy. Or go totally sleeveless. The regular sleeves end at the heavies part of the upper arm, and focus attention on the wrong part. This is to be avoided.
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Handloom Sarees 2010 4. Wear soft cottons, silks or crepe-de-chines, which give a good fall. Chiffons, georgettes and nets will expose the 'rolls'. Shun them like the plague.
5. Wear vertical or diagonal stripes or patterns. Horizontal stripes or broad borders are a big No No. 285
6. If using a combination of fabrics like velvet or silk, and chiffon/georgette, keep the pallu in a firmer fabric. Let the softer fabric go in the pleats. It reduces the fabric load on the pleats, and then, covers up the midriff with a firm fabric.
7. You may try long jackets over sarees. It disguises imperfections. 286
8. Avoid Gujarati style. It makes one look heavier.
9. Both the saree and blouse should not have patterns or loud embellishments. Keep one garment as subtle as possible.
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10. Avoid overall floral or large patterns on pastels, if possible. Keep them in dark colors, medium to small  polka dots, small prints, chikan embroidery etc. See the impact that it has on different body shapes.
11. Keep a few broad pleats, so that they don’t add up to the abdominal bulk.
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12. Wear as sleek a petticoat as possible. Some of the long skirts available, which are narrow at the waist, or have a broad elastic band, and gradually flare downwards, can be used as petticoats.
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Camouflage an Ultra Thin Body Monday 20 June 2016
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You are envied by your friends, because you are thin or slim, but you feel clothes hang on you, rather than frame your body. You wish you had some feminine curves to flaunt. You can look fabulous, without adding a kilo. Style tips to create visual illusions •
Wear bright colors in at least one garment, to create an illusion of fullness – neon colors, bright yellow, pink would all add to the charm. Combine it with muted colors, so as not to look like a candy shop.
2. White and pastels would look fabulous, provided they are compatible with your skin tone. 290
3. Wear flared skirts, peplum tops, flared trousers, maxi dresses etc. to counteract the overall tubular shape.
4. Wear loose, unstructured tops with straight trousers.
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5. Add layers in the form of shrugs, jackets, scarves, stoles, a shirt loosely thrown over a tank-top and jeans.
6. Use wide sashes, belts as much as possible to cinch the waistline and create curves.
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7. Use patterns on the clothing to create an illusion of fullness. Polka dots and paisleys are curvy patterns. You could experience with large, stylish motifs on the upper part of the sari drape.
8. The fabric used should be firm, so that the garment retains its shape, and does not cling to the body.
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9. Fabrics with a sheen also help in adding volume.
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10. Sheer or lightweight fabrics can be used with a frilly or ruffled design.
11. Geometric cuts or patterns will add interest to the garment, as the eye moves with the geometric shapes rather than the body line.
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12. Wear horizontal stripes, only if you are tall. 13. Wear pencil heels or flats, to complement your body shape. Wedges or platforms should be worn only with flared trousers or sarees, as they will juxtapose the slender frame. 14. Carry large bags like hobo bags, totes etc, but proportionate to the size of the body. It should not overpower the total appearance.
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Redefining Work Wear for Indian Urbanistas Monday 20 June 2016
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“Don't trust labels - trust logic.” ― Isabella Poretsis Check the logic in the following statements Statements •
400 million of the Indian population lives in cities.
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The urban female to male ratio is 929 women per 1000 men.
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Only 20% of Indian urban women work outside their homes.
Conclusion The approximate number of the female urban workforce is 74.3 million. Statements •
The female CEOs of banks in India have reached where they are, draped in the ubiquitous Indian saree.
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Fitted western wear does not look good on all body shapes.
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Closed shoes and hosiery are not meant for tropical climate conditions. 297
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At times, western wear looks incongruent with Indian hairstyles ( buns and braids), make-up ( bindi or sindoor) and jewellery ( mangalsutra or chooda).
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Certain corporates have programs designed to prepare women for positions in Boards, and to get back the sabbatical population to work.
Conclusion •
Indian women will choose how they wish to showcase their personalities in the office.
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The talents and competencies that they bring to the office are well-appreciated.
The logic in the latter is not so direct. There are unlisted assumptions involved. :) The case for individuality and balance We need to be seen as we are – aware, updated, intelligent, responsible and contemporary. The visual image should open the right window to the total personality, not a distorted perspective. The globalization of business has led to work wear becoming increasingly westernized. The socially all-pervasive salwar/churidar kameez is not considered corporate wear, due to the baggy and flowy shapes. The saree is high on the scale of formality, but low on convenience, and hence, not favoured in urban lifestyles. The moral police does not dictate corporate wear, but the style czars and czarinas do, and the 298
verdict is Business Suits. Sure,they look great on those who can carry it off, but there is a large section of the 74 million, that looks for Indianized versions, and a BALANCE. Western workwear for women is a modified version of male corporate attire and maybe the original intention was to be seen as equals. The Glass Ceiling has been a contentious issue in the workplace for ages. The perspective needs to be reviewed and updated. Capability and professionalism are not synonymous with Suits. The norms for Indian attire for women have been largely dictated by modesty, climatic conditions and symbolism inherent in the local culture. The soft and flowy nature of the garments perhaps represented the traditional view of femininity. The same needs to be updated as values and lifestyles change. If a sari is Indian, so is a long skirt with an elegant blouse and stole. If a cardigan is Indian, so are jackets and shrugs. If a dupatta is Indian, so are stoles and scarves. If a salwar or churidar are Indian, so are trousers. And let us face facts – we do not wish to be bothered about managing dupattas and saree pallus, in the course of work and travel. If giving in to outdated Indian norms is subservience, so is the blind adaptation of western wear . We need not overlook the richness inherent in Indian fabrics, weaves and styles, and the grace in our personalities. A strong and capable individual will always score higher than one that has merely walked out of the pages of a fashion mag. 299
So, what are the factors that can influence the choice for clothes for women ? •
Elegance
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Comfort
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The image of the organization.
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Expression of the feminine side ( it is okay to wear pink florals at times).
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The level in the hierarchy ( a ‘professionalista’, more than ‘stylista’.
saree
says
“Originality is nothing but judicious imitation”- Voltaire. All the norms for western corporate wear remain valid and uncontested – no danglers, no flashy pieces, judicious skin show, no elaborate nail art – in short, nothing that distracts. In addition to it, glance at fusion wear, which suits our style and expresses our individuality. Inspirational fusion wear ideas •
Sherwani kurtas qualify as suits. Silk or starched cotton dupattas falling in straight lines from the shoulder lend grace.
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2. Sarees with jackets are elegant, but meant only for tall and slim women. Others would end up looking boxy, since it amounts to adding bulk on bulk. A blouse styled in the form of a jacket can be a stylish alternative, that serves the purpose.
3. Straight pants coupled with kurtas are both trendy and formal. 301
4. Indo-western panache. These jackets qualify as layers.
5. Ankle length skirts with a long shirt and stoles are Indian. They are less flared versions of traditional outfits.
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“ You are so busy being YOU that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.” ― John Green , The Fault in Our Stars The case for Professionalism The rules for professionalism do not change for women. There cannot be a compromise on the following factors : 303
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Punctuality and time discipline.
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Work ethics.
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Efficiency and excellence.
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Professional behaviour ( Warmth and graciousness are part of it)
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Staying above slander and gossip.
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Not using feminine wiles to seek professional favors.
external link(s): 1. http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5446998.Isabella_Poretsis 2. http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1406384.John_Green 3. http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16827462
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The Indian 'Waist-Coat' Evolution Monday 20 June 2016
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The waistcoat (or vest) was a formal garment, introduced by King Charles II in 1666, during the Restoration of British monarchy. The name emerged from the length of the garment ending at the waistline, whereas the other coats were longer. This was a kind of foundation garment, with a triangular cut in the front centre. It was worn in the same colour and fabric as the suit, maybe with a different fabric used on the back. The neckline was a V-shape, and it could either be single or double breasted. The single breasted style was essential for lounge suits. The pocket was used to hold the pocket watch, with the other end on the button placket.
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Semi-formal style A dressed down look can be created with the waistcoat being in a different colour than the suit, like black or blue with grey. A waistcoat with trousers and a tie, gained acceptability as semi-formal wear. A bow-tie is recommended, as it does not crowd out the triangle near the neck. However, both kinds of ties are acceptable.
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Casual look The hooded waistcoat, or waistcoat with jeans can be sported by the young, for the ultimate swag look.
Body fit considerations In Britain, the Royals were expected to leave the last button open, to ensure ease in riding a horse or being seated on a high chair. The trend continues, and in the contemporary world, it suits the man with an expanding waistline. The waistcoat, if worn without a jacket, evens out the lines in the outfit. It conceals the slightly puffed out shirt near the waist. The waistcoat should ideally cover the belt. The shirt or belt being exposed at the bottom of the vest, is not an acceptable look.
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One can consider the use of suspenders, instead of a belt, as it reduces thickness on the waistline, and the vest falls straight. Ideally, a waistcoat without a jacket should be worn by men with a well-toned body. Any variation in shape at the midriff, creates an uneven look. Indian Versions Indians sought inspiration from the Jodhpuri Bandhgala suits, and cross-border fashion influence, to create a dandier version. This has a high neck, is available in several colours, finishes and fabrics, and can be teamed with formal trousers, jeans or kurta-pyjamas. It is ideal for the tropical climate, and provides ease, style and versatility to the wearer. It works for both the day and evening looks. A pocket square looks elegant, and breaks the monotony of the rectangular shape. Nikesh Arora, President of SoftBank, gave it an extra shot of credibility, by sporting it in the Economic Times Awards Ceremony. The ET annual event is a congregation of the topmost bankers and businessmen of the country.
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The waistcoat has traversed the distance from ‘vintage’ to ‘classic’. It indicates the change in male fashion trends from stiff, formal and boring, to cool, soft and relaxed. Indian men are not afraid of being themselves, any more. Have a look at some versions. •
Day formals
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2. Wedding wear
3. Quintessentially Indian
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4. Evening Elegance
5. The Long Waistcoat - Indian version of a 4-piece suit
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Carry on, guys ! Claim your style and your freedom.
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3 Styles for Men that Need Revival Monday 20 June 2016
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Elegance is not about being noticed, it is about being remembered Giorgio Armani. I guess the word here should be ‘respected’, or ‘revered’, not ‘remembered’. Swag, grunge and hip-hop are all remembered. It could be for their atrociousness, or for the mind-sets of the generations that sport these styles. We live in an era of quick comfort, blind imitations and commercial interests overruling true style. Shirt lengths have been shortened. 80% of the stock in stores comprise of Slim Fit garments. And why not? People are conscious of their fitness levels. The manufacturer makes 110 shirts with the material meant for 100 shirts, and reduces cost. But, if swag is for the boys, style is for men. “Style is the perfection of a point of view.” – Richard Eberhart There are 3 styles that we would like to see revived, in the interest of elegance. •
The Tie-Pin 313
I have tried buying one for a gift, and was told that it is an outdated concept. It has been replaced by the collar pin. I love collar pins, and the element of intrigue that they add to a gentleman’s outfit with its shape and design. Neck ties are gradually fading out. But the few that I see in videos and pictures of animated speakers, appear to have shifted to the left or right, or are bulging out of a buttoned-up coat, in a statement of rebellion.It distracts the viewer, who has a tough time resisting the temptation to point it out, or set it right.
PM Gordon Brown MP on the door step of No10 this afternoon for the launch of the Royal British Legion Poppy Appeal
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Have a look at this. Confidence personified, despite the stubble and the peeping tattoo on the forearm.
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2. The Suspenders They have a retro feel, reminding one of the yester-year mega stars – Dev Anand or Raj Kapoor. But they perform the onerous task of keeping the trousers and the waist-belt in place straight and unfolded. Indian men do tend to be a midriff variation, which is not conducive to a good fit for the trousers. And suspenders can so easily be concealed behind the jacket.
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3. The Comfort Fit shirts The style is easy on the eyes of the viewer, and easy on the skin of the wearer. There are no gaps in the button placket, threatening to split open, and no embarrassed viewers trying to look elsewhere.
If you see the cover pic, it is the relaxed fit and selective buttoning, that has made the red jacket tolerable. Even Mr. Amitabh Bachchan has to make an effort to conceal the midriff variation. It is high time, we returned to customized tailoring, whether you prefer online convenience, or the comfort with the neighborhood tailor. It is a fast vanishing species that needs to return, even if the cost is higher than that of an off-the-rack item. There is a price to be paid for elegance, style and comfort.
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'Shades' for the Eyes Tuesday 21 June 2016
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Some celebrities insist on donning shades in the night. Many of them have gone on record to say, that no other accessory gives a lift to their appearance , and instant stardom , more than sunglasses. A 71-year old female style enthusiast says that it is better than a facelift. Carry sunglasses, if you step out between 10 am to 5 pm, and not only in summers. You never know when the Sun God will decide to bestow its blessings on Planet Earth. And what do sunglasses for the eyes ? Reasons to Wear Sunglasses 1.) UV Protection. The sun's UV radiation can cause cataracts; benign growths on the eye's surface; and photokeratitis , sometimes called snow blindness, which is a temporary but painful sunburn of the eye's surface. Wide-brimmed hats and caps can block about 50 percent of UV radiation from the eyes but optometrists say that is not enough protection. 2.) Blue-Light Protection. Long-term exposure to the blue and violet portion of the solar spectrum has been implicated as a risk factor for macular degeneration , especially for individuals that are “sun sensitive.” 3.) Comfortable vision. The sun's brightness and glare interferes with comfortable vision and the ability to see 319
clearly by causing people to squint and the eyes to water. 4.) Dark adaptation. Spending just two or three hours in bright sunlight can hamper the eyes'Â ability to adapt quickly to nighttime or indoor light levels. This can make driving at night after spending a day in the sun more hazardous. 5.) Skin Cancer. Cancer of the eyelids and skin around the eyes is more common than people think. People should wear sunglasses outdoors whether they are working, driving, participating in sports, taking a walk, running errands or doing anything in the sun. Five Tips for Healthy Eyes 1.) Wear protective eyewear any time your eyes are exposed to UV light, even on cloudy days and during winter months. 2.) Look for quality sunglasses that offer good protection. Sunglasses should block out 99 to 100 percent of both UVA and UVB radiation and screen out 75 to 90 percent of visible light. 3.) Check to make sure your sunglass lenses are perfectly matched in color and free of distortions and imperfections. 4.) Purchase gray-colored lenses. They reduce light intensity without altering the color of objects, providing the most natural color vision.
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5.) Don’t forget protection for children and teenagers. They typically spend more time in the sun than adults. Source: American Optometric Association Eyewear need not be expensive for protection. The quality of the frame and the optics of the lenses add to the cost of sunglasses. Look for the right certifications for UV protection. How do you enhance looks further with the right shape of sunglasses ? The key is to balance the excess in the face shape, by introducing opposing elements. •
Oval face
An oval face is considered to be the perfect face, but it does need balancing with angular frames. See the difference that it makes, despite the versatility of the face.
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2. Round face This is one of the commonest face shapes. However, at times, trapezoid or square faces are misconstrued as round, due to flab on the cheeks. Observe carefully, the diameter of the face at the forehead, between the ears and close to the chin. It gives a fair idea, where you belong. A round face will need angular shapes – rectangular, square or cat-eye to counteract the rounded effect.
3. Square face They have a strong jawline, a broad forehead and a wide chin and cheekbones. The shapes they wear should have rounded edges somewhere, to counteract the angularity of the face.
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4. Inverse triangular face Since the face is broad at the temples, and tapers down towards the chin, large frames would cover the width at the top. However, the shape of the glasses should not reinforce the face shape, and should not taper downwards.
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See how this pair adds instant glamour. Wayfarers could be the way to go ….
5. Rectangular face : This face shape needs to be evaluated carefully, after tying back the hair and taking off jewellery. The diameter should be the same, for the larger part of the length, forehead to below the ears. The chin can taper off at times, but the proportion of the broader part classifies it as rectangular. A slightly rounded version is the oblong shape, which needs a different treatment, but is often confused with rectangular. As with the square face shape, this too needs rounded edges in the eyewear. They can be larger than the ones worn by other face shapes, given the larger area available above and below the eyes. See the fun element provided by the fancy frame that Angelina is sporting. The Aviators kind of reinforce the 324
tapering at the chin, hence, are not perfect, but provide the angularity needed. The cat-eye glasses look best.
6. Oblong face This is a rounded and very well-proportioned face, where the length is larger than the width. This is broader than the oval face. 325
The rounded edges need angular sunglasses. Take your pick.
The list above is not exhaustive. One can bring out the best in a face, with a three-pronged approach of using the right make-up, hairstyle and eye wear.
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Go ahead, experiment or consult a specialist to create a signature style for you. Have fun ! (Pictures borrowed from the internet).
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'Appropriate' Authenticity Sunday 17 July 2016
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Brand experts urge new PM Theresa May to DITCH her penchant for thigh-high boots and racy dresses - and instead take style inspiration from the Duchess of Cambridge (Source: dailymail.co.uk) Theresa May took over as the Prime Minister of Britain, amidst reports of the cabinet reshuffles, the challenges that lie ahead AND her sartorial choices. While being applauded as stylish, her personal preferences are not being seen as ‘appropriate’ to the office that she now occupies. I came across a remark that her animal print kitten-heels were suitable for a circus, not Parliament. They appear to be a personal favorite, based on the few pictures that I have surfed through. It remains to be seen, if she chooses to be ‘appropriate’ or ‘authentic’ in the corridors of power that she will inhabit. Acceptability is the third angle The remark from an Indian political figure, about ministers looking like ‘waiters’ in a suit and tie, on their visits abroad, is not far behind. Priyanka Gandhi’s appearance in the Indian Parliament, in a formal ‘black trousers and white shirt’ outfit was seen as revolutionary. Several politicians educated in the West, have felt compelled to adopt Indian attire, to gain acceptability in the eyes of the public. The leader 328
representing a developing country, exhibiting flashy attire is also castigated. It gets one classified as Marie Antoinette or Emperor Niro of Rome. And yet, leaders have created a unique slot for themselves, with their personal style. Benazir Bhutto (deceased Prime Minister of Pakistan) with a drape covering her head, Jayalalitha (the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu) concealing her ample figure with a cape. Kiran Bedi (present Lt. Governor of Pondicherry, and a retired police officer) sticking to non-fussy outfits and Kiran Mazumdar Shaw (CEO of Biocon India) with her stoles, are all cases in point. They could be recognised in a crowded public place, due to their well-accepted and celebrated style. Thus, it is ‘acceptability’ in the eyes of others that decides what is ‘appropriate’, and it may clash with ‘authenticity’ of the person. Authenticity has been derided by many, as inappropriate in work situations. Chameleons who adapt to the surroundings appear to be the favoured species. Refer the HBR article on “ The Authenticity Paradox”. https://hbr.org/2015/01/the-authenticity-paradox The Personal Branding Guru William Arruda describes the process as ‘uncovering the personal brand’, rather than faking it. It is hard work to be someone else. Or as Oscar Wilde put it in his imitable style, Be yourself, as everybody else is already taken. 329
Is a chameleon unauthentic? Chameleons are equipped by nature to protect themselves, by making themselves indistinguishable from the surroundings. This is certainly not the hallmark of a leader, since a leader’s job is to guide, lead and protect others. However, a leader may have to assume different roles to meet situational challenges. The environment may not always be the same, in which he was created, developed and groomed.
In this case, the leader is just adopting a new persona and style of functioning, while keeping the core values intact. •
It is a progression of one persona to another, rather than a temporary façade.
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It is transformation, rather than a projection. 330
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It is transparency, not change behind curtains.
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It is flexibility, not failure.
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It is a change in beliefs, not values.
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It is a change in behavior, not the person.
Authenticity is maintained at every step of the process, if the leader can justify what s/he is doing.
Is change permanent? Does it mean that a mindset cannot return to its previous state, and the circumstantial changes are permanent? People are known to have admitted failure, before returning to their former affiliations and beliefs. The test of leadership also lies in making the right choices, which can stand the test of time. It needs wisdom, experience, a 360 degree view, willingness to consult others and openness to differing opinions. And 331
all this does not take away from a person’s authenticity, but adds value. A true leader accepts responsibility for the changes that s/he makes, as remains accountable for them.
external link(s): 1. https://hbr.org/2015/01/the-authenticity-paradox
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Step out in Style Tuesday 19 July 2016
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I bought a new pair of shoes, yesterday, and surreptitiously, stacked them away in the shoe closet, hoping not to be noticed by the man in my life. Not that silent look of askance again – Did you really need that ? How many of you identify with this household scenario ? Shoes step out of the car, before you do. Shoes are the first thing that are noticed for both men and women, but can literally, make or break a woman’s outfit. And no wonder, a major part of the ground floor in all shopping malls is occupied by the shoe and bag brands. That is the first bait to entice a woman, and keep her in for several hours. We have grown up with the notion, that the minimum footwear requirement was : •
One sensible and durable pair each of black, brown and white shoes.
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Gold/copper/silver shoes for party wear
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One pair of sneakers.
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Flip-flops for holiday wear.
Well, that continues to be the minimum basic requirement, but so much more got added on. All the colours in the rainbow, nudes, boots, tassels, glass 333
heels, gladiators, sky-high heels, embellished heels … and we continue to await newer style introductions. Good shoes are expensive, and only the divas can have them all. It makes sense not to get influenced or pressurized by style advocates. The following 10 style tips should carry you through a lifetime : •
Office Wear
For office wear, closed shoes or shoes that cover more ( like peep toes, lattice designs covering the foot, gladiators) are considered to be good. While the rule stands for skirts, one can afford to wear open shoes with trousers or other outfits.
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Shoe Fit
The grip that a shoe has on your foot is more important. No flip-flopping with flimsy shoes in the office, or making tic-tac sounds on wooden or marble floors. •
Flaunt Fancy Footwear
I am all for fancy partywear shoes with embellishments on the heel or above. However, keep the outfit simple or in a solid color, to allow focus on the shoes, and avoid overcrowding of patterns.
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DIY Footwear
Learn the art of embellishing old but comfortable shoes with paints, bows, crystals, ribbons to give them a fresh, glamorized feel.
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Style No-No
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A total matchy-matchy look is a no-no. It helps if either the bag or the shoe, or both are in a contrasting or different color. It is easy to get experimental with black or beige outfits. Blue, green, yellow, orange shoes can all be shown off to maximum advantage.
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Shoe coordination
Match the bag or belt or a lipstick or shirt, with colored shoes. It helps in creating a coordinated look, by carrying the color upward.
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Shoe Harmony
An overall harmony needs to be maintained, with appropriate shoes for rugged or fine fabric outfits.
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The Right Shade of Nude
If wearing nudes, try to find a color closest to your skin color. They go well with outfits in all shades of red and 339
brown, and any other outfit that does not find a match in the shoe rack.
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Sheer Magic
I prefer the sheer shoes to the so-called nude ones to match every outfit. They are good enough to show off a well-maintained pair of pedicured footsies, color-manipulation with stockings or socks and lend a glamorized look with the slight sheen.
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Reverse Matching
Find the right outfit to show off a fancy pairs of shoes. The reverse matching with nail colors, shoes or bags helps in creating your weekly wardrobe plan.
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Pop Colors
Bright colors in shoes and bags can be used to accentuate a neutral outfit. It is easy to get experimental with black or beige outfits. Blue, green, yellow, orange, fuchsia shoes can all be shown off to maximum advantage.
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Footwear Planning
Comfort and affordability should remain key factors. No point in spending a fortune on a pair, that you use once in 3 years. And yet ‌
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Lipstick is to a woman, what a necktie is to a man Wednesday 17 August 2016
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Sounds a bit OTT (over the top)Â ! But these words were not spoken at birth. This is the experience of a woman culled over the years, that makes her espouse the cause. Red is for everybody, if coordinated properly. And all those who deride women wearing it, are the ones that envy the confidence of the woman.
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I read and hear all the advocates of carefully constructed nude lips, and the feminists who want to look like men, and just SIGH ! They have not discovered the power of this small tube of color, in lifting a woman’s looks and confidence. The following pics will speak.
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See how a face of the same shape changes with a single dab of color ! 1. Advantage of Position Lips are placed at the center of the face, slightly raised, and are the center of attention, as you speak. They enhance the natural symmetry of the face. A man’s outfit is enhanced with a necktie, with this central placement, and a lipstick does the same to your face. 2. Advantage of Color
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Not all lips are rosy and pink. And those that are, have a color close to the skin tone. Skin tone can only be evened out with foundation, the nose can be lifted by contouring, but lips can carry color to emphasize the outline. And all in a single stroke ! 3. Advantage of Expression The color of the lipstick can be coordinated with the clothes, to lend a finished look. The texture (glossy, matte or velvety) speaks a lot about the age, taste and personality of the woman wearing it. •
A Matte finish shows a professional, no-nonsense look.
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Glossy lips show a young-at-heart, vibrant personality, and hence, are considered appropriate for the evening.
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A velvety finish shows a love for luxury.
4. Advantage of Cover Lips need to be kept soft and supple, but lipstick covers up discoloured or pale lips, which would otherwise draw negative attention. 5. Advantage of being a booster Research says that the sale of lipsticks goes up, during a recession. Since women cannot buy expensive stuff, they buy affordable lippers to give their spirits a boost. No man will ever understand this.
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WHO NEEDS NUDE OR PALE LIPS ? •
Young women, who have naturally bright complexions, and do not need a lift. Lipstick might give them a older and mature look. The solution is to go light, with a hint of color or shine.
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Women, who are temperamentally sedate, or in professions, where they do not wish to draw too much attention, to themselves.
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Mature women need to avoid maroon, brown, purple etc, since it creates a hackneyed look. Pop shades in lighter colors are fine.
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Athletes who are displaying qualities and toned body parts, other than the face. They can easily go without lipstick.
LIP CARE •
Daily dabs of lip balm, maybe 2-3 times in a day. 348
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Glycerine or olive oil, mixed with demerrara or white granular sugar for exfoliation.
Not very expensive or elaborate or time consuming ? Everybody can do it. To sum it up, I love this quote from the much envied and admired and despised Twiggy. It sums up life for the mature woman, not willing to take a backseat in the twilight years. “For me, getting older does not mean throwing out a favorite pair of lipstick, or a fabulous pair of boots ; instead it is about harnessing all the great things I have learnt over the years, over what suits or does not suit me, and enjoying the bits in which cleverly selected outfits an enhance the nice bits”.
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Corporate Dressing for Diwali Wednesday 26 October 2016
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So, the email invite is out, and the boss’s secretary has called to seek your confirmation of attending the party. You inform your spouse to block the date, make arrangements for the kids to be left with your parents or friends, buy a befitting gift for the hostess, and then the million dollar question strikes. The party outfits for both of you ? You receive another mail from HR, announcing the last working day before Diwali as “Traditional Day”, and maybe a contest to infuse spirit in the Laxmi Pooja and luncheon party. You need to strike a balance between your corporate and festive avatars. You need to be seen as traditional and fun-loving, keeping up with the bonhomie, but not frivolous or OTT. If you are visiting customers with Diwali gifts, it makes sense to tilt towards the conservative corporate code, with a small traditional touch. Wear your best smile, and an unusual accessory to liven up the look. FESTIVE GARB FOR WOMEN IN OFFICE •
A saree can never go wrong, be it a classic silk, French lace, half-and-half or a traditional cotton.
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Ensure that the blouse is decorative, but not too revealing. •
Narrow pants or palazzos are best worn with straight kurtas. Avoid anarkalis. The Begum Saheba look can be reserved for the evening.
•
Trousers or a long skirt with a traditional top are fine. Go creative with borders, embroidery and embellishments.
•
Jewellery should be traditional, but not dangling. Subtle makeup is recommended, with either the eyes or lips being the focal point. No glitter on the face. A slight sheen with an illuminating moisturizer, crème blusher or a lip gloss is fine.
•
Your back will be on display while performing the Aarti or the Puja. So, take care what people see is within the norms of elegance and corporate codes.
•
Your hands are also on display. Ensure manicured hands with a French polish, red or pastel nails. Reserve the nail art for the evening.
•
Sheer clothing, inflammable fabrics, mile-long dupattas or trailing sari pallus are to be strictly avoided. Tame the loose ends with brooches, pins or decorative knots.
•
Bling should be minimal. Copper, matte gold and silver tones are preferred to glittering golds. Bright colors minus the bling also lends the festive touch.
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EVENING WEAR FOR WOMEN The makeup can be louder, the hairstyles can be experimental, the garments can be a little more flowy, but by and large, stay within the norms mentioned above. Indian evening gowns, or fusion outfits are acceptable. But skin show should be minimal. All precautions  should be taken to avoid wardrobe malfunctions.
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CORPORATE DONS IN TRADITIONAL ATTIRE •
Nothing beats a kurta with a narrow-bottomed pyjama or churidars.
•
Wearing a stole is optional. The color and fabric should be as discreet as possible.
•
A Jodhpuri jacket looks elegant, but avoid the bling. 353
•
A matte-finish silk shirt with formal trousers is also fine.
•
A colourful waistcoat worn over trousers and shirt, lends a traditional touch.
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Paisley prints or polka dots on a shirt or tie will add a traditional touch to Western wear.
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Dhoti-pants and Pathani salwars are ruled out, unless you are competing in a Fancy Dress competition.
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A neatly shaved or trimmed beard look is needed. Your face is in focus with the vermilion tikkas. Use the latest craze in face-washes to keep the skin looking fresh.
•
A good deodorant and fragrance is non-negotiable. Be prepared for some bear hugs in effusive greetings.
•
Footwear should be easily removable (loafers or sandals), as you move towards the Pooja area. A neat pair of matching socks, or trimmed toe nails and pedicured feet are essential. Your feet should support you, not let you down.
CHIN UP FOR THE BOSS’S DINNER PARTY •
Add velvet suits to the repertoire of evening wear.
•
Brighter colors like maroon acceptable for the dinner party.
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and
copper
are
•
Cream or beige bandhgalas with a pocket-watch look classy. A thin gold chain can also be worn around the neck.
•
Wear a cravat with a suit, instead of a neck-tie. Neckties appear to be on the way out, other than officewear.
•
A pocket square will also look good on a Jodhpuri
•
Accessories can play a larger role, but avoid dangling jewellery like bracelets and earrings. A good watch, finger rings, cuff-links and tie-pins are good enough.
•
The options for daywear will also be applicable here.
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GENERAL TIPS •
Dress as per your temperament, body shape and personal color. You are expected to look like a merrier version of yourself, not a model or actor.
•
Couples may co-ordinate their outfits.
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Clubs, hearts or diamonds on outfits can be a theme for a card party.
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Experiment with patterns, but do not go overboard. It should not take away from the formal theme.
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Dress for comfort, keeping long hours in view.
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You may ask the boss’s secretary for details of the venue ( if it is a poolside or lawn party, wooden dance floor etc). It helps in choosing appropriate footwear, to avoid accidents.
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•
Dress safe to protect yourself from the firecrackers and strings of oil lamps and candles. Fabrics in fire-proof and spill-proof finishes are available for sarees.
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An ice massage preceding makeup for women is advisable, keeping the long evening and warmth generated by firecrackers in view. Alcoholic drinks too, suffuse the skin with a warm glow.
•
If the size of your clutch permits, carry a facial mist. It refreshes the skin, and sets the makeup. Powder touch-ups may not be needed. But lips need to be touched up, as and when needed.
•
Alcohol consumption should be kept within limits. Moderation in behaviour adds to your grace, and social quotient. You have to face the same colleagues in a formal setting, later.
Wishing you all a happy and power-packed Diwali !
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Winter Blues Wednesday 2 November 2016
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OF CRACKS AND CONTRADICTIONS The mercury has dropped, and so have the moisture levels in the skin. Beautiful faces with dry patches on the cheeks, Dracula-like lines drooping from the corner of the lips, grey shadows on bright faces all convey a contradictory image. Beauty not lovingly tended to, meticulousness not extending to personal care routines and neglected babies -- all show an appearance that does not match the level of competence that you vouch for. Don’t let this happen to you. Do not create a dent in the image that you have carefully cultivated in all these years. OF BEAUTY AND BRAINS Beauty is the spontaneous expression of a harmonious mind, body and spirit. It radiates from within, and needs the right platform for projection, which are your face and eyes. Do you not weave in contingency plans in your business ? Do you not provide for seasonal variations ? Do you not plan your seasonal wardrobes ? Is the home not geared to seasonal routines ? And what are you doing about your skin ? SKIN CARE 359
Vitamins and minerals are non-negotiable. Take your daily quota of Vitamins A, B12, C, E and cod-liver oil. Zinc clears off blemishes. Evening primrose oil gives the necessary glow. •
Vitamin A keeps your peepers glowing.
•
Vitamin B12 protects from
•
Vitamin C and cod-liver oil provide resistance against cold and flu.
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Vitamin E and evening primrose oil provide the required anti-oxidants for a glowing skin.
•
Zinc prevents blemishes.
•
And each genie is available in a bottle, with the chemist. Just buy it.
Kitchen Kapers •
Grind bananas and strawberries with yoghurt, and keep it handy in the fridge. Mix it with face packs, or apply the paste directly on the skin. Get the glow !
•
Consume gooseberry (amla) juice every day. It provides Vitamin C, for the glow on your skin, and the resistance against a cold.
•
Use a carrot paste with honey on the skin.
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A pack of egg-white with honey will stretch the skin, and eliminate fine lines. The honey is meant to combat dryness. 360
•
Coconut-milk can be combined with any pack for the skin or hair, for added softness.
•
Turmeric has anti-septic and healing properties.
Bathroom bubbles •
Liquid soaps are gentler on the skin.
•
Gel bars are the next best bet.
•
Moisturize immediately, while the skin has not dried completely.
•
Use a deodorant, but layering of body sprays and perfumes may not be necessary. They do not get dissipated, as in summers.
•
Covered skin does not lose moisture, hence, dress with care.
Drama on the Dressing Table •
Use the best of skin care and anti-ageing products that you can afford, in this season.
•
Glycerin attracts moisture, and hence, is your best friend. Mix a powdered Vitamin C pill, the liquid from a Vitamin E capsule and rose water with it.
•
Apply hyaluronic acid products (Neutrogena Anti-Wrinkle Moisturiser is one of them), combined with Vitamin C ( Lakme and Body Shop have ampoules, that prevent oxidation of the cream).
•
Wheat-germ oil is excellent. 361
•
Lip balms should be kept handy all the time. They can be used in combination with lip-colors.
•
Heavy under-eye creams are needed, rather than gels or refreshers.
•
If your skin does not break out, coconut oil is magic. The 40+ group can also feel a tightening of the skin, the next morning.
•
It can be used as an eye make-up remover, shaving gel or as a substitute for any other cream. Coconut oil has healing and restorative properties.
•
If your skin tends to break out, mix coconut oil with baking soda, and dissolve it in a boiling water bath. Filter out the residue. The resultant gel works well as a cleanser for oily skin, and lends an unbeatable glow.
Seal the warmth and moisture in •
Warm your clothes in front of a blower, or iron them, just before putting them on.
•
A warm bath followed by immediately donning your warmest attire, seals the warmth in, for sometime.
•
Have a cup of warm water, or green tea with honey and a slice of lemon, immediately after a bath.
•
Get into bed quickly, after application of all your beauty products.
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Glow through winters, and present your best face forward. Cheers !
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Pantone Color 2017 Greenery Thursday 8 December 2016
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The much awaited Pantone Color of the Year 2017 has been declared, and it is … GREENERY. Young, fresh, vibrant, alive …. and all that goes with the theme. Those interpretations are going to dominate design discussions for the next few months. The fashion world will eagerly await the seasonal colors, with suggestions on the color combinations to be used. Greenery poses more challenges than the ones we have worked with, in the last two years – the muted Rose Quartz, Infinity Blue and the deep Marsala. LIMITATIONS •
It may not go well with all Indian skin tones.
•
It may not flatter the fuller figures.
•
Its place in the makeup palette is limited to eye shadow (and only if your eyes are hazel or green).
•
It will be seen more on nail colors and accessories, than on garments.
INTERIOR DESIGN
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A few striking pictures in interior design to see how the color picks up, when combined with other hues. The palettes are equally applicable to outfits.
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FASHION APPLICABILITY The effect of the color is enhanced when combined with grey, yellow, blue, black, peach or beige. And of course, red or crimson for the bold and bright.
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Combine it with another shade of green, like a richer emerald tone for the ombre effects.
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Combine it with peach or beige. Strike a bold note with red or magenta, but only one color can be dominant, and the other only an accent. Else, it can have be overpowering.
Use green accessories with black and brown outfits.
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Flaunt it on the nails with a copper or yellow outfit.
Eyes for the evening. Stay away from this color for daywear.
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Green wedges can be a statement piece with any solid color outfit. Do not repeat the color anywhere else, other than nails.
Use it more on tops and shirts, than bottoms. Compare the effects and decide.
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A green dress accessorized with brown, white or black can look elegant.
Hair, for the Bold and Beautiful.
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Opposites can meet, and so can we bring out the best in less than complementary colors. Cheers to the fashion enthusiasts ‌. Note : Images are used from the internet, mostly from colorcombos.com and Pinterest. The shades displayed here do not exactly match the featured 372
shade Greenery, but gives a fair idea on how to combine the color.
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Table of contents
1 - BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT
5
Restructuring the theory of Motivation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 When Trust Tears Apart
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
The Anatomy of Trust . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Being Judgemental . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Zero-Based Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Why Behavior Training Fails . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Neuro-Logical Alignment (Internal & External) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Why should a leader not compare & contrast? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 Why I Choose to be 'Inspired', not 'Led'? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58 When we Blame, we give our Power Away . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62 Just Facilitation, and a Little More ..... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 Is Positivity always the Answer? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74 This is your Phone Speaking -- ABOUT YOU
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
Professionalism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88 The Important Thing is not to Stop Questioning . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 Self Esteem is not Enough . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97 Why should Coaching Start Early? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104 How Value-Neutral is the concept of Power? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 To Merge, Rebel or Stand Out ?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
Junk the Pride to De-junk your Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
2 - THINKING MAPS
125
The Four Levels of Influence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126 6 steps away from yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131 What You Choose to 'Not Be' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137 What Binds Humanity Together? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
The 'SubConscious' of the Nation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151 Twists in Storytelling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158 What do your stories tell you? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163 Stories are not all True Re-Inventing Storytelling
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174
The Emperor's New Clothes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180 A 'Slasher' Existence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187 The Beauty of the Point of No Return . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193 10 Dimensions of Victory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197 Narcissism in writers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203 COACHING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207 21 APPLICATIONS OF COACHING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 215 WHY IS COACHING EFFECTIVEÂ ? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222
3 - GROUP DYNAMICS
225
The Power of the Goddess . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 226 The Fourth Dimension - SpaceTime . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236 Cafe Gyaan - A Chat with Mukund Bhokarkar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 244 Digital Banking - A Chat with Niraj Verma on Dynamics
. . . . . . . . 249
Online Lending - A 'Dynamics' chat with Niraj Verma . . . . . . . . . . 260
4 - PERSONAL BRANDING
271
Dressing on the Plus Side - Part 1
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 272
Dressing on the Plus Side - Part 2
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 278
'Plus Size' Sarees . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 283 Camouflage an Ultra Thin Body . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 290 Redefining Work Wear for Indian Urbanistas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 297 The Indian 'Waist-Coat' Evolution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 305 3 Styles for Men that Need Revival . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 313 'Shades' for the Eyes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 319 'Appropriate' Authenticity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 328
Step out in Style . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 333 Lipstick is to a woman, what a necktie is to a man . . . . . . . . . . . 344 Corporate Dressing for Diwali . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 350 Winter Blues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 359 Pantone Color 2017 - Greenery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 364
Reena Saxena
Reena Saxena is an Image and Success Coach, trainer and content developer. She comes from a BFSI background. Her published poetry appears in two anthologies 'Com Pen Di Um' published in Indiana, USA and 'Life As It Happens' published in India. A lot more is in the offing in 2017.
The book is a collection of blogs on Behavior Management, Thinking Maps and Personal Branding.
ReInventions http://reinventions.in