Oct, 2010 Review

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Vol. IV • Issue 1

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

New at RJ

Regis Jesuit Spirit

Regis Jesuit welcomes new faculty, transfer students, and changes in security and policy. [2–3]

Regis Jesuit gets rowdy for football, Spirit Week, and homecoming. [6–7]

66

W Regis Jesuit High School Boys Division • 6400 S. Lewiston Way • Aurora, CO 80016

UNDEFEATED!

RJ Football 5-0 ON Season A Spirited Victory

On the night of the Homecoming football game, the Raiders trounced Fruita with an astounding 48-14 win.

see pages 8-9

Toga Party!

As the sun set on the Lou Kellogg Stadium, a togaclad crowd watched RJ beat Chaparral 2814, making the Raiders 5-0 on the season.

02

who’s new

The Raider Review // Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Rookie Spotlight

Klassen’s Comeback

John Hutchinson Math

Jason Beyer

Cooper Cohen ‘12

said.

Although there are many new faculty members at Regis Jesuit this year, we would like to take a look at one in particular. The one and only Matthew Klassen.

Not only was Klassen an all-star in the classroom during his time here as a student at Regis Jesuit, but he was also an all-star on the ‘lax’ field.

Mr. Klassen is excited to be here. Again.

Klassen actually graduated from Regis Jesuit High School in 1998.

Theology

“So in many ways, it was a nice homecoming,” Mr. Klassen said.

Nguyen-Vu ASC

Architecture

Ryan Taylor P.E.

Laura Jones Math

James Simon Counseling

Matthew Klassen Theology

He went to school alongside Mr. Dawkins, our beloved Journalism teacher, in what is now the Girls Division school.

“To give back, in some small measure, to the school which literally changed my life as a student,” is his goal, Klassen

ing at a ‘last chance’ high school for girls in Belize City. Upon returning to the United States, Klassen then moved to Austin, TX, where he taught for the last three years at San Juan Diego Catholic High School.

Klassen was recently married here at Regis Jesuit in the Blessed Fr. Rupert Mayer, SJ Chapel. He is also a proud father of his eleven-month-old daughter Murphy.

He played lacrosse all four years while at Regis Jesuit, starting on Varsity as only Klassen circa 1998 Mr. Klassen currently a Sophomore. Regis Jesuit, thanks Regis Jesuit Yearbook teaches freshman Theto the help of ology and the seniorKlassen, continued on level God Concepts class. He to win the club-level truly enjoys being able to cover state title that year. content at a depth that would have been impossible at the preAs a junior, Klasvious schools that he’s taught at. sen made third team honorable mention, and “It truly feels like a family workwas chosen as team ing together toward a common captain his senior year. objective,” said Klassen when asked about Regis Jesuit.

Before making his way back to Regis Jesuit Klassen served Regis Jesuit is glad to have Mr. for two years in Belize with the Klassen in its depth chart, and Jesuit Volunteer Corps, teachhopes that he’s here to stay.

Page Design: Cooper Cohen ‘12

New Students At Regis Jesuit This Year Reporting: Pierre Kuttner ‘12

There are many new faces at Regis Jesuit this year, so make sure to welcome these recent transfer students.

Not Pictured: Antonio Broadus

Wiyaka Pomarleu

Michael Clark

Eddie Scheuber

Chris Fanning

Previous School: Smoky Hill High School

Previous School: Machebeuf High School

Previous School: Regis Jesuit High School

Previous School: J.K. Mullen High School

Returning From: Rangeview High School

Sophomore

Junior

Senior

Disclaimer: Not new but slightly improved

Junior

Junior

Michael Fisher Sophomore Previous School: In California

Welcome to

Nick DePuy

Sophomore Previous School: In California

Regis Jesuit, Transfer Students!

Justin Finley Sophomore Previous School: Grandview High School

Jordan Ebel

John Garretson

Peter Cal

Bill Devanny

Previous School: Geneva High Chicago

Previous School: Mountain Vista High School

Previous School: Castle View High School

Previous School: Pembroke Hill High Missouri

Junior

Sophomore

Sophomore

Junior

what’s new Regis Jesuit Raises the Bar

New GPA scale pushes students to excel Michael Clark ‘11 The new GPA awards a 4.33 for an A+, a 3.67 for an A-, and so on for each letter grade. This is an opportunity to do better than past years, yet some students

are concerned.

This is a wake up call to all the A- lovers out there; time to step it up!

a higher GPA to get into college, or is this exactly what a college preparatory high school needs?

Is this pressure too much when trying to earn

See the poll to the right.

Junior Michael Harpole studies hard, trying to avoid the now dreaded A-.

Photo: Michael Clark ‘11

“At first I had some negative thoughts, but I want to see my first semester report card before actually deciding if I like it” junior Michael Harpole said.

03

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 // The Raider Review

Change. Love it or hate it, change is always bound to happen no matter what. Regis Jesuit High School itself has undergone a few changes over the summer of 2010. Two important and debatable changes include the new GPA system, and the new announcement system.

Regis Jesuit students on the new grading scale Like It Freshmen Sophomores Juniors Seniors

Dislike It 12 7 2 1

No Opinion 3 7 12 15

5 6 6 4

How many times each week will you check the daily announcements?

Zero

One

Two

Three

20

Four

Ch-ch-ch-Check it out!

The new announcement is the board The new announcement system now reduces PA system usage, and a student must check a bulletin board everyday to understand what is going on at Regis Jesuit.

On the plus side, teachers have a few extra min-

utes of class that are not interrupted by the intercom, and a “plethora” of announcements no longer bores people that aren’t even affected by them.

Does changing the announcements really

save that much time?

Are students at RJ too lazy or unfamiliar with checking the bulletin board to do so?

See the poll to the left.

15

10

5

0

Freshmen Sophomores

Juniors

Seniors

Juniors Cam Bromwell and Matt Budrow check out the new announcements. Photo: Michael Clark ‘11

Regis Jesuit steps up security, installs cameras New cameras help increase school safety

Daily announcements posted all over the school.

Check one out!

Photo: Michael Clark ‘11

This is what you see...

Morgan Jones ‘12 “A little to the left!” A long pause. “That’s good!”

A contractor in a cramped room filled with cables yells over a walk ie-talkie, telling his assistant to move a camera.

In the room next door, two students work with Coach Messina to run wiring in the ceiling for a different camera altogether.

Downstairs in a temporary technology office, a monitor beams with images from thirty cameras at once. RJ has just installed a new surveillance system.

Regis Jesuit has received many upgrades throughout the years: the Aurora Campus, the Rod Card Track, and now a brandnew $100,000 surveillance system paid for

by LARK specifically for this purpose.

Over the summer, the new system was installed as part of a long list of improvements planned to roll out at both divisions.

“Hopefully if there’s any vandalism, theft, intruders, or anything we’ll be able to pick

that up through the cameras,” RJHS Vice President Rick Sullivan says.

RJ installed a number of IPbased security cameras at both divisions to watch all exit doors and hallways. Not only can the cameras be monitored part-time by select members of the RJ faculty, but they can be programmed to monitor motion, can be remotely viewed by the Aurora Police Department in an emergency, and are recorded to provide information on past incidents.

After a string

of locker thefts and the vandalism of the RJ football field by Creek students, Sullivan agreed that better security measures needed to be taken.

“If we had cameras on the upper field, we would have had those guys,” Sullivan said. “If we had cameras in the lot, we would have picked up their car coming in, and we would

have been able to see them.”

Despite some privacy concerns, Sullivan is impressed by the community’s reaction.

“The feedback I’ve had is surprisingly positive, and I attribute that to the fact that you guys have grown up in an environment where you have seen school violence occurring.”

Coach Messina runs cables for a security camera.

... and this is what they see.

Photos: Drew Dyer ‘11

Cooper Cohen seduces the Boys Division with his smooth lathering tones.

Photo: Michael Clark ‘11

Summer Construction at RJ! New Tech Office in 166

Photos: Morgan Jones ‘12

The Student Activities Center

The new Counseling Center

04

The Raider Review // Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Student Investors at RJHS Brendan Kelly ‘11 When looking around the halls of Regis Jesuit High School many things may come to mind, but one thing that may not be apparent is that students are actively involved in the stock market. The Investment Club has become very popular over the last couple of years and is moderated by Mr. Malsam.

Senior Ryan Boyd has been one of the top investors at Regis Jesuit since he began his freshman year and his knowledge of the trade is growing at a rapid rate. Ryan got his start investing because his good friend Payton Rose dragged him to a club meeting.

“Peyton pretty much forced me into going to the first club meeting when I was a freshman, so of course I went with him,” Ryan said.

“Now that I think back I am glad

Leonidas Jones shows a small portion of the vast fortune that he will accumulate

Benton Waterous ‘12

Luck plays a role in just about everything in life, including investing.

“Tangos on our right flank! Find some cover!” my squad mate yells as I dive behind a copse of trees.

He takes a slightly different approach to investing.

“It is an easy way for me to make money and I get to interact with some of my friends in a manner of competition. It doesn’t take a trained genius to figure out that our current economic situation is not the best. Isn’t it all about the future though? It’s not looking so good my friend, be prepared.”

Regis Jesuit High School students have many different interests, including investing. A student may walk right by you at any time, and you may think to yourself, “Will he be working on Wall Street someday?” The answer may be surprising.

Club Fair Showcases RJ Pride Drake Hammond ‘14 and Jerry Keating ‘11 Ukulele Club “The club was started when kids started storing their ukuleles in my office,” moderator Mr. Fagnant said. “It was completely student-generated.”

tivities Center to join. The club meets every Thursday at office hours in the Student Activities Center to jam out, so meet them there and have a good time.

“We pretty much just chill and practice songs,” said Mr. Fagnant. “During CADRE days we go outside and play to try and raise money.”

Bullets whiz past my head as the hot afternoon sun glints off of my squad member’s sunglasses.

The roiling staccato of small arms fire resonates from somewhere in the distant tall grass.

RJHS uke players jam in Tradition Hall

dents to meet each other and make friends while doing an exciting and competitive activity.

you can’t trust your squad member like a brother then you can’t win,” Jake says.

“Airsoft allows people to come together with a common interest,” Jake says.

Although the simulated combat of Airsoft club is often quite intense, players are encouraged to always show respect toward the other team, as well as to play fair and by the rules.

The motto of Airsoft Club is “Building a brotherhood that holds up under fire.”

No, this is not a warzone; this is the Regis Jesuit High School Airsoft Club. Airsoft is a popular sport in which facsimile guns that fire lightweight, plastic pellets are used for realistic combat situations.

“Airsoft teaches camaraderie and being able to rely on your squad members,” Brian says.

Two students started Airsoft Club last year, current Juniors Brian Tobin and Jake Miller.

Fighting with your teammates in intense combat situations forms a special and inexplicable bond between brothers that is rarely found anywhere else. “If

Airsoft is a great way for stu-

“You have to trust your brother to cover you if you are capturing an enemy position.”

Airsoft Club members are also taught proper weapon safety, as the intensity of airsofting makes the sport potentially hazardous.

Players learn how to handle their weapons safely and with respect and to follow the club’s strict code of rules and regulations. Although it is one of the lesser-known parts of the community, Airsoft Club is a very important part of the Regis Jesuit Brotherhood.

The airsoft club poses for a snapshot after an intense skirmish.

Ping-Pong Club

Frisbee Club. A couple days out of the week a small crew of friends gather at a park down the street from RJHS.

The Ping-Pong club, moderated my Mr. Wolf, is without a doubt the most popular club here at RJHS, boasting over 250 members. The crowd here was larger than any other in tradition hall or the upstairs hallways.

“I had an old ping-pong table in my garage that was taking up space, so I decided to bring it to school and make a club,” Mr. Wolf said, “That was our first table.”

“Meetings” are times to chill with friends and play some ping-pong. They hold some tournaments throughout the year where all 250 kids are invited to come.

Mr. Fagnant said that many people who join have never picked up a ukulele in their life.

Now is the time. Go see Mr. Fagnant in the Student Ac-

Airsoft Club: Building a Brotherhood that Holds Up Under Fire

I decided to go because I had nothing better to do. Investing will be there for me when I get out of college and have a job.

I will be making money but I want to do something productive with it. I will also have an easier path to retirement.”

“Man, luck is only part of it.

I have some knowledge too, which only helps my cause. That is what separates me from the rest of the pack,” senior student investor L.J. Jones said.

clubs & activities

“It’s about recreation and socialization. It doesn’t matter if

“The Frisbee Club has developed a variable plethora of interest and has grown immensely in popularity,” senior captain Chris Dinkel said.

Mr. Wolf demonstrates his mad pong skillz

you’re good or bad,” Mr. Wolf says.

“Frisbee’s just something fun to do after school,” junior Neil Urbaniak said.

The club meets every office hours in room 264 to have a good time playing ping-pong.

During tournaments they set up tables in tradition hall.

Frisbee Club Disks, barefootness and camaraderie is the motto of the RJHS

Senior Chris Dinkel enjoying Frisbee Club

people of RJ

05

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 // The Raider Review

Cooper Cohen ‘12

Every Student Has A Story What’s yours?

Sean Whitley ‘13 Each issue we will interview a different person by randomly picking one out of the yearbook. We held the yearbook up, flipped it open, looked away, and pointed at a page.

This month, we landed on sophomore Irvin Ferrer.

Every student has a story including Irvin Ferrer, a sophomore at Regis Jesuit. Irvin came to Regis Jesuit High School because his brothers graduated from here. He wants to uphold the Ferrer legacy. So what does Irvin do for fun outside of school?

Well, he likes to play chess. In fact, he thinks it’s a blast to play chess. “I think it’s a great

challenge to go against better players. It makes me a better player,” Irvin says.

His favorite type of music is alternative rock. His favorite band to listen to is The Muse.

All he really does after school is his homework.

Once he is done with all of it, he tries to relax with some television. Before Regis Jesuit, Irvin went to Denver Christian.

Irvin did not like it that much. “It was way too small for me,”

he explained.

He really likes football, and is an avid Pittsburgh Steelers fan.

As basketball teams go, he prefers the Nuggets.

Irvin Ferrer ‘13 Photo: Sean Whitley ‘13

The Raider Cup The challenge is on!

Do you have what it takes to be the first IM Raider Cup Champion?

The revised Intramural program is designed this year to follow that of a college league structure.

Mr. Welling, head of the Intramural program, always had this idea in the back of his mind since coming to Regis Jesuit, but never actually had the chance to do so till now.

As a successful participant in his Intramural high school and college team, the “Orange Lazarus,” Mr. Welling wanted to revamp the program with his new ideas. He feels doing so will strengthen friendships that students have with each other and with faculty members. The new program structure consists of twelve team members, who will stay together all year. There will be new events and some returning from last year: kickball, softball,

wiffleball, frisbee, basketball, football, and even trivia.

Victories in the events will earn each class some points. There are other ways to earn points too, however. For example, having team uniforms, getting a teacher to play on you team, and just showing up are all ways to get your team points.

Each event will have an upperclassman and an underclassman champion and those two teams will face-off against the faculty All-Star teams for each event. The secret faculty teams will not

His favorite teacher at Regis Jesuit so far is Mr. Kabadi from Freshman Theology. “[Mr. Kabadi] is really funny and chill,” Irvin said.

Irvin also attended the homecoming dance with his date Abby, who goes to East High School.

If you are interested in playing a challenging game of chess, (Josh Redman, this may be your challenge) get in touch with Regis Jesuit Sophomore, Irvin Ferrer.

Irvin Ferrer got to choose the next “Every Student Has A Story” subject. He held the yearbook up, flipped it open, looked away, and landed on...

Senior John Gaudio.

What’s your story, John?

Battle of the Genres be revealed but Mr. Welling hinted: “They have been training for this since last April.”

Danny Pfannenstiel ‘12

When asked if he could be any animal which one would he choose, he said he would be a tiger. “Tigers are so beastly” Ferrer comments while enjoying a burrito.

Between Chipotle and Qdoba he would much

rather eat at Chipotle. Why? Because he believes Chipotle just flat-out tastes better.

Of course what is a league without a champion and a trophy?

The winners of each class with the most points will be crowned the first ever IM Raider Cup Champions and have their names engraved upon the obnoxiously large trophy.

“It will be a fun, enjoyable, and brotherhood-building experience for all those who wish to participate” Mr. Welling said.

“There was nothing like playing intramurals with my closest friends and meeting new friends in the process.”

The ultimate goal this year is to have a very high percentage of students playing, while at the same time, bringing everyone closer together. This is what Intramurals is all about, so step up your game, get your team together, and get ready because the Raider Cup challenge is here.

King Welling, Bring it On! Photo: Danny Pfannenstiel ‘12

Which genre’s the best?

Connor Knobloch ‘11

Jithin Vadakel ‘11: Rock

1. What about the genre that you represent do you like the most?

“I don’t think the music that I play is better than any other kind. It’s the way that I get to express who I am. My emotions are expressed in indie/rock music. I express myself through the music I write. I can just jam out to the rock music.”

2. What is your image?

“I represent the counter cultural movement. Me and Dom [Dominic Fante ‘11] are young thinkers. We don’t let things just pass by without considering who they are going to affect. We take time to think about everything. It’s all about the decisions you make. Taking a stand is what we are trying to do. We are individuals.”

3. What is your favorite concert?

“Reel Big Fish” at the Fillmore has to be my favorite concert ever. I went with Dom. It was like a mix between ska and new age indie. The vibes were way chill.

Kids just weren’t afraid to get up and go crazy.”

4. What is your favorite band/artist? Why? “Radiohead is my favorite. They are the face of the unheard musicians. They are great at bringing the emotions out of you. They are very non-conformist and do not put up with the media. I like that about them. They are also some of the most beautiful producers I have Jithin rocking out ever heard.”

5. How do you feel when you listen to this music?

“It’s kinda a mix between... I don’t know. When I play music I feel like I am connecting with people on a whole different level than a regular conversation. I don’t have to have manners; nothing holds me back from saying what I feel. I have an influence on people. But it’s different than preaching.”

6. What does this music mean to your personality?

“This music reflects my personality. Its the only time I really show my real self. Its a great way to relieve my stress. I don’t care what people think. It’s who I am.”

Next month: Rap/Hip-Hop with Alex Gnaegy ‘11

R

6 6

Whether it’s football, homecoming, or even a freshman mixer, RJ is the high school spirit capital of Colorado.

Take a look inside RJ’s spirit, learn what started it all, and discover how you can become part of it.

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SPIRITED RJ FANS GET PUMPED

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Fa Regis Jesuit gets rowdy as the score mounts against Fruita.

THE SPIRIT OF DRUMMING

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// Spirit@RJ Elliott Rarden ‘13 drums at the RJ vs. Fruita game.

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Spirit Week began Monday with band day. Everyone was encouraged to wear their band shirts. At lunch, a blues band of RJ students played outside on McNicholas Green.

St. Louis

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Ti w si

RJ comes together, gets rowdy for football, spirit week, and more

MONDAY

SPIRIT WEEK, DAY BY DAY

/

California On Tuesday, a longboard race took place on the road outside the cafeteria. » “Even though it wasn’t much of a race, longboarding is always fun,” said Ian Moran ‘12.

TUESDAY

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WEDNES

We Ch fa of

ROWDY FILE: JOE SHEFTEL ‘98

ROWDY FILE: PASHA TABATABAI ‘07

ROWDY SPOTLIGHT: MICHAEL MORAN ‘11

Sheftel was one of the first true Rowdies. His energy was something that all Rowdies wish they could obtain. Every Rowdy has their favorite memory, whether if it is that first home football game or that last second game winning shot to put us into the state game. For Joe, it was “The Suit.”

The suit was a “Tasmanian Devil” full body suit that served as a kind of mascot for the student body.

“When you’re out there in the costume you just have to be like a sheep, it’s your responsibility to keep the crowd in it, 40% of the people there don’t care about the game, so as a Rowdy you’ve got to somehow get them into it,” Sheftel says. “I also just love how much excitement could come from something stupid that I did in the suit,” Sheftel says.

Being a Rowdy has its benefits. For some Rowdies that might be right away, some need to figure it out later in life. “We all have a responsibility whether if it is on the field or in the stands, with the crowd it is not all about you, and you have to help your team out. It definitely helped out with my public speaking though, knowing your place, and going in front of people and just having fun.”

Pasha’s Rowdy, “Flavor Flav” is a legend of the Rowdies today.

People look up to him and want to copy his sense of style, his crazy loud voice, and above all the rest his “tail-feather.”

Moran rose from the deep dark trenches to become the definition of a Rowdy. He has a love for the art of cheering and making sure that the crowd is always into the game. Every time the crowd gets quiet, there is a guarantee that he will strike up a cheer and get the crowd right back into the game, as if the team just scored a touchdown or got a sweet slam-dunk.

Being able to just let loose and have your natural self take over is what being a rowdy is about “Pasha was a great Rowdy, because he didn’t care what anyone thought about him, he was just crazy,” Mr. Wolf said.

“It allows you to be completely yourself; it helps you with your speaking and just meeting new people,” Pasha says.

“It will impact it in all ways, no doubt. It will help me with talking to people. I mean what qualities don’t the Rowdies have?”

Moran said.

In the end, it doesn’t matter if it is 1998, 2007, or 2010. The Rowdies will forever be a symbol for Regis Jesuit as the seniors who are the loudest, craziest, and the wackiest bunch of guys that Regis Jesuit has to offer. We salute you Rowdies of the past, present, and the future. “We are proud of you, say we are proud of you.”

There is always that one cheer that gets the crowd going, or one could even say, rowdy, and for Pasha it was the “Amen.” “It makes you feel like you belong at Regis Jesuit. It brings everyone together.”

// RJ Rowdies Of Past & Present

FRESHMEN GET PAINTED

by Brad McWilliams ‘11

Face paint, ridiculous energy, and short shorts. Enter the Regis Jesuit Rowdies?

The Regis Jesuit Rowdies are an elite group of young men who are chosen by their true heroes, last year’s Rowdies.

Throughout the years, Rowdies have influenced the students at Regis Jesuit as much as Otis Spunkmeyer Cookies, and Bud Thomas. Their wacky and wild energy pumps up the crowd at every game.

Without these fine gentlemen, the crowd would be lost. Each decade has had their share of Rowdies, but only a few stick out as some of the greats.

// Freshmen Made Red

by Matt Thompson ‘11

Freshmen line up on McNicholas Green for a pregame painting.

Timid freshmen are driven through a line of football players. The football guys can smell their fear, knowing what was to come, and then... they got painted? A new tradition began when Mr. Bruno produced the brainchild that was this event. Never before has Regis Jesuit incorporated such an activity. “We’re hoping that its a tradition that will happen every single year,” Ms. Reardon said, the big boss in charge of freshman events. “A lot of people thought it was a great idea, and we didn’t really get a lot of opposition at all.”

The freshman class participated in a massive paint session with the Link Crew and upperclassmen. “I still have paint in my ears,” freshman Cameron Bradley said. The goal of all this wasn’t just to incorporate the freshman, but to create a bond that Regis Jesuit has had, but never too strongly developed with the freshman. It was accepted as a big hit. “I was skeptical about the whole thing, but once the game started I felt like a part of the brotherhood,” freshman Dylan Schlager said. “[There are] some leadership programs that we’re developing with freshman this year and Mr. Bruno is working really hard with the link leaders to develop some freshman programs,” Ms. Reardon said. “We want to do more... equally cool and equally fun things.” Forecast for 2010-2011 sports? Intensity in the red zone, and a lot of painted faces.

NESDAY Wednesday was jersey day in honor of Chicago. Wednesday was also the club fair, where students signed up for many of the clubs at Regis Jesuit.

Chicago

Thursday featured one of the biggest events of the week: the powder puff football game. » “The game was enjoyable to watch. It was fun because it wasn’t competitive – they were just having a good time,” said Ryan Millinazo ‘11.

FRIDAY

Texas

The week culminated with the 48–14 blowout of Fruita Monument at Lou Kellogg stadium, leaving the Raiders undefeated at 4-0 for the season.

THURSDAY

« Photo: Morgan Jones ‘12

FRUITA?!

Morgan Jones is back with more awesome designs! v1.2

08

Raiders Football on the Rise Regis Football starts 5-0 behind a high caliber offense Chris Lesnansky ‘11 cost the Raiders

Doubters are believers, and the Raiders are 5-0.

After beating two top 10 teams including #2 Arvada West, and last year’s state runner up Pomona, Regis Jesuit also beat Valor Christian, Fruita Monument, and Chaparral. As the win column grows, the Raiders’ mindset remains the same.

“We have some really good players on our team and we don’t take any week off. We look forward to the challenge against the next team we play during the week,” senior standout wide receiver Casey Young said.

“One game at a time, that is the biggest thing for us, not trying to let our heads get to big.”

Staying focused will be big for the Raiders. They seem to be the most talented team in the Continental League so far, but any slip up could

football

The Raider Review // Wednesday, October 6, 2010

a league title in the competitive conference.

The Raiders started their season at Valor Christian on September 3rd,

the Raiders down 21-18, the Eagles decided to go for the first down. The Raiders’ defense held and then drove 98 yards, capped by a Jordan Jungers 2-yard

Junior QB Eystin Salem under center for the Raiders in their Homecoming game against Fruita. Photo: Morgan Jones ‘12

confronting a new born rival with a great quarterback in senior Brock Berglund. RJ performed in front of a sold out crowd in a primetime game.

The Raiders displayed their ability to adjust and to come up with big plays in the clutch.

Midway through the second quarter, senior quarterback Luke Longfield was lost to a separated shoulder and junior backup Eystein Salem came in and helped lead the Raiders to victory. Even though Berglund ran for 219

yards, the Raiders defense held Valor’s passing game in check and came up big in the 4th quarter.

With fourth and goal to go from the 2-yard line and Senior Casey Young checks with the official to ensure he is on the line of scrimmage.

Photo: Morgan Jones ‘12

run with 1:02 left in the game, a last minute heave down field from Berglund was knocked down by senior safety Tanner Ottenbreit to preserve the 25-21 victory.

On September 10th, the Arvada West Wildcats came to Lou Kellogg Stadium.

Two years ago, the Raiders beat the Wildcats in the last game of the season, giving the Raiders a playoff berth.

Last year, the Wildcats beat the Raiders twice, including a season ending 19-8 loss in the quarterfinals.

This year however, the Raiders were prepared, and they knocked the Wildcats around.

After Salem threw an early interception that was returned for a touchdown, the Raiders marched down the field and

scored 16 unanswered points. The Raiders’ defense elevated their level of play, but allowed a touchdown, a 60yard screen pass, that cut the lead to 16-13. Still, the Raiders answered right back with a touchdown run from Jungers and won 23-13.

The Raiders hammered Pomona on September 17th, winning 42-7. They raced out to a 21-0 lead and never looked back. Salem threw four touchdown passes, two to senior Connor McKay. The Raiders’ defense came up huge once again, forcing turnovers

the Raiders would run away with this game.

Quarterback Luke Longfield was healthy once again and able to throw the ball efficiently, the Raiders’ defense continued to apply the same pressure, and the fans got to see the future of Regis Jesuit football on this night.

After the Raiders went up 28-7, Coach Mark Nolan started to rest his starters. Not only did the entire varsity team play, but the junior varsity team took the field part way through the second half. They played well also. Sophomore quarterback Brody Weiss broke a tackle in the backfield and ran

The Raiders’ offense huddles during a timeout. Photo: Morgan Jones ‘12

and applying relentless pressure on Pomona’s quarterback. Pomona wasn’t able to execute, in large part due to the Raiders preparation for Pomona’s bruising running game.

On September 24th, the Raiders finished off Spirit Week with a 48-14 trouncing of Fruita Monument. Going into the game, everyone from inside the locker room to the fans in the stands knew that

25 yards before being taken down by a defender.

Offensively, the Raiders have the ability to move the ball and consistently put up points. Through five games this year, the Raiders are averaging 30.5 points per game.

They continue to move the ball through the air, averaging 12.7 yards per catch, but more importantly, they are able to balance it out with their

running game, averaging 4.9 yards per rush (see sidebar).

These players just scratch the surface of the Raiders’ offense, who go even deeper with the likes of senior running back Andrew Faggella, averaging 4.4 yards per carry, and senior tight end Drew Dyer, who has the ability to stretch the middle of the field, grabbing 8 receptions for 102 yards and a touchdown and averaging 14.6 yards per catch.

Defensively, the Raiders continue to control the game. They have come up big in the absence of senior middle linebacker Brett Runyan, who was injured in the season opener. Replacement Dylan Barnes, a junior, has played strong.

The defensive line has applied constant pressure on the opposing quarterbacks.

Senior defensive end Ross Heath leads the Raiders in sacks with five.

Inside linebacker Michael O’Dwyer continues to be a dominant force for the Raiders, leading them with 44 tackles. Tanner Ottenbreit leads the core of defensive backs, which continue to shut down the opponent’s passing attack, stifling the opponents receivers.

This defense continues to control games, coming up with big stops and taking opponents offenses out of their gameplan.

On October 1 the

Eystin Salem 39 for 62 for 440 yards and 5 touchdowns

Luke Longfield 39 for 62 for 349 yards with 3 touchdowns, 0 interceptions, and a passer rating of 129.4.

Jordan Jungers 99 attempts, 532 yards, 9 touchdowns, 5.4 yards per carry.

Casey Young

21 receptions for 330 yards and 2 touchdowns.

Conner McKay 20 receptions for 265 yards and 4 touchdowns.

Raiders opened up Continental Conference play against Chaparral.

ines off with a 71-yard run paired with a 5-yard score.

Junior running back Jordan Jungers led the team to a 28-14 victory over the Wolverines, moving Regis Jesuit to 5-0 overall and 1-0 in conference play.

The win puts the undefeated Raiders in great position heading to Douglas County next Friday.

Jungers rackedup 169 yards and a pair of touchdowns. Connor McCay scored on a long touchdown pass from Longfield and Michael O’Dwyer found the endzone on a 1-yard push.

The RJ defense was superb in the second half, shutting out the Wolverines and providing some of the most devastating hits of the season.

Andrew Faggella finished the Wolver-

This Raiders team has something special.

“I see us going 9-0, winning the conference, having a high playoff seed, win those games and being in the state championship at Invesco on December 4th,” senior Casey Young said.

The Raiders have a chance to do something that no other Regis Jesuit football team has done. This Raiders team is one of those special teams that will be remembered for turning doubters into believers.

Dylan Barnes scares the competition as the middle linebacker on the Raiders’ D. Photo: Morgan Jones ‘12

football

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 // The Raider Review

More Than a Game Prayer leads to brotherhood on and off the field Jake Dillon ‘12 How long does a ritual have to be performed before it becomes a tradition?

in the mood for preparation and the right mindset before a practice or a game,” junior

might not know very well and pray together.”

On and off the field

The RJ Football team has found this universal brotherhood through prayer.

The Regis Jesuit Football team has started a tradition of excellence in football, but how do they prepare each week for that next game?

“Praying gets us

peated action; it embeds itself into the roots of the players, coaches, and the school.

At the end of the prayer a voice will call out “OUR LADY OF VICTORY,” and the rest of the team responds without hesitation “PRAY FOR US.”

It has become tradition.

The team stands up and breaks out into their position groups or goes to find a friend or family member in the stands.

How do they physically and emotionally prepare for the battlefield that is football?

It is no secret that the football team prays before and after games and before and after practice.

no matter what religion, prays the ‘Our Father’ together in one voice.

The chapel sits quietly before the weekly mass for the football team celebrated by Father Sullivan. Photo: Michael Harpole ‘12

defensive lineman Eric Hamilton said.

“You join hands with a guy you

the team needs to be a unit, and a unit needs the brotherhood that Regis Jesuit offers.

Every position, every player, every coach, offense or defense, gets down on one knee, holds hands, and,

Of course, that sense of brotherhood is still there.

This simple routine becomes more than just a re-

Junior Kyle Sarazin is large and in-charge Michael Harpole ‘12 & Michael Clark ‘11 Squatting. Eating.

Blocking. General ground-shaking.

These are the repetitive movements of junior Kyle Sarazin.

Kyle “the Truck” Sarazin easily takes the cake (no pun intended) for being the biggest at Regis Jesuit.

“It sure is nice when you walk down the hallway and students will gladly get out of your way.”

Truck has been playing on the offensive line since 4th grade when it quickly became apparent that his dreams of playing quarterback were likely to fall short.

“I have always wanted to play quarterback, but instead of throwing touch-

down passes, I merely throw those players foolish enough to line up in front of me.”

students, teachers, and coaches alike have been calling him ‘Truck’ ever since.

He uses his husky stature to his advantage as the starting right guard on the varsity football team.

No one stands in the way of Truck’s massive 315-pound frame as he casually strolls through the hallways of Regis Jesuit. Truck’s nickname is a huge part of him.

The nickname “Truck” came freshman year from Kyle’s offensive line coach, Dave Petterson.

He was inspired to come up with a nickname for Truck after seeing one of the most destructive blocks ever witnessed on a football field.

Coach Petterson simply yelled, “Did anyone get the license plate on that truck?” The nickname stuck and

Truck takes pride in his size, and he uses his powers to help others.

09

The football team’s rituals are traditions because of the feeling of brotherhood that the players share.

Prayer strengthens both physically and mentally, forming an unbreakable bond which helps hold the team together and dominate on the football field.

The key to the Regis Jesuit football team’s success this year? Wings.

That’s right, every Wednesday after football practice the Varsity offensive line meets and eats at Coach McPhee’s house.

“It is a great way for the offensive line to get away from football and school and just have some fun,” offensive lineman Michael Cruciotti said.

Q: When did the offensive line decide to start having wing night?

A: “Wing night started way before this year; it goes way back to when Coach McPhee had just started coaching. He has held this tradition for many years, and keeps it going because everyone seems to enjoy it.”

Q: How does it make the offensive line come more together as a team?

Whether it’s giving freshman rides down the hall, squatting a mere 565 pounds, providing a nice shady spot during the heat of lunch, or lead blocking for running back Jordan Jungers, Truck has a special place in our hearts.

A: “Because we are all there hanging out with each other, seeing how many wings each other can eat. And we always watch a movie, it can be anything from Finding Nemo to Monsters Inc. It’s just a fun way to hang out, and get away from school and football.”

Q: Does the offensive line have any other traditions?

A: “Not really, other than the commitment meeting every Thursday, but the whole team does that. It is where we commit to our teammates what we are going to do during the next day’s game. I can’t give you much more information than that.”

Q: Where is wing night held?

A: “It is at Coach McPhee’s house every Wednesday night.”

Q: Who can eat the most wings on the team?

A: “We haven’t had the contest yet, but last week we had 11 people go to the event, and we went through 20 pounds of wings and 5 dozen brownies.”

Truck patrols junior hall, keeping his favorite running back Jordan Jungers safe.

Photo: Michael Harpole ‘12

The football team is now 5-0 and if wings are helping the team win, then we are all for it.

10 Tennis Pursues State RJ a top contender Drew Dyer ‘11

“It’s like Donkey Kong,” Senior Colin Haas says about this years tennis team.

Yet, Creek has recently given Regis Jesuit another reason to want to beat them.

This could possibly be the best team in Regis Jesuit history.

“There aren’t any hard feelings toward the Creek team, but the scandal has made me practice harder and want to beat Creek even more. We have always wanted to beat them badly, and this has just added fuel to the fire,” Haas said.

Recently, Cherry Creek has dominated Colorado tennis, but this year the Raiders are determined to bring the Bruins down.

They bring great talent, experience, and excellent leadership to each match.

Senior Alex Gnagey serves it up At Regionals this year, the Regis Jesuit Golf Team struggled on the front nine, but was able to pull through for a second place team finish, which qualified the entire Regional team for State.

The team consists of Senior Tyler Engel, as well as Sophomores Chris Weinstein, Cole Cunningham, and Junior Gus Lundquist.

The golfers are currently preparing for state, which is scheduled to take place at Valley Country Club, on October 4 and 5.

As this edition goes to print, the golfers are competing in the state final.

The Regis Jesuit team is based around a positive and encouraging atmosphere that circulates around an abundance of talent.

Coach Rogers is very focused on making sure that the Raiders have the best putting and chipping in the state. So far, the team is living up to these high expectations The last few years, the golf team

Cross Country Looks for Repeat Raiders set minds on another state title Nick Gianfrancesco ‘12

It’s 12:30 pm on an early September Saturday. Hundreds of people line up with bated breath and wait. The starting gun fires.

A stampede of runners, striding and jostling for position in the pre-state race at the Arapahoe County Fairgrounds fly by, their flats and trainers kicking up plumes of dust.

Chris Monark ‘11, Joe Somer ‘11, and Nolan Smith ‘12 putting in a workout

The 2010 Regis Jesuit soccer season is underway and the Raiders took the field to start the season by winning their first two games.

After playing three games in Colorado the Raiders headed to Washington D.C. to play in a two day tournament where they faced perennial powers Gonzaga High School and Rockhurst High School. They would return to Colorado 0-2 from Washington D.C. but played tough against two outstanding teams.

With six games left in the season the Raiders still are confi-

fall sports

The Raider Review // Wednesday, October 6, 2010

With the memory of the big win still fresh, the RJ runners have one goal: repeat. dent they are a top contender in the state.

“I feel we have a ton of talent and are just as good if not better then last year,” senior captain Luke Naes said.

The Raiders can’t help but to carry over some of that bitter taste from the heart breaking loss against Denver East in the state title game two seasons ago.

The Raiders are led by Captains George Ryan, Luke Naes, and Hank Winterscheidt.

“Though we are a young team

“My favorite thing about this year’s team is how much fun we have. We are all really good friends and love to be around each other. There is not a dull moment while we are together,” Haas said.

Out of the eleven starters on the team, eight of them are seniors and four are individual state champions.

Maybe the greatest characteristic of this year’s team is their ability to be loose on the court.

“I’ve won a doubles championship, but what my heart really desires is a team State Champi-

played toward a state championship, but came up short.

There are also a handful of very gifted up-and-coming golfers that include Cole Cunningham, and [Freshman] Colton Jones,” junior Nick Willenbrock said.

Every day there is a feeling amongst the team that shows that everyone wants to get better. No matter what the circumstance, there is always a healthy competition arising.

“The team this year does not have the depth that the team did my freshman year, but it does have more raw talent based around star players Tyler Engel and Chris Weinstein.

“Because of the new state course,” Patrick Barton, a junior who runs JV and varsity said, “we are going to be doing more hill workouts this year.”

This year’s seven varsity starters are attempting to retake championship glory. Morgan Jones, Joe Somers, Brian Monahan, Chris Monark, Nolan Smith, Kevin Greenberg, and Tom Beasley will look to bring home another title. All finished with sub-19 minute races at the Liberty Bell Invitational.

“We are running with many with talent, we have leadership and experience to do great things this year,” Naes said.

With few returning starters the Raiders believe they have a solid contending team this season.

When asked about Coach Chris Walsweer’s presence on the soccer field, Naes said: “He’s like a bull at a rodeo. He’s angry sometimes but it inspires us to work harder.”

As the team finishes the season, they will have some ground to make up but they believe it can happen.

onship, and this team is more than capable of accomplishing that,” senior captain Alex Gnagey said.

As the season continues, the the team will battle to be the best and perhaps raise the 5A State Championship Tennis trophy over their heads.

Key matchups: Oct. 7th: Regionals Begin Oct. 14th: State Begins Rival: Cherry Creek

Golf Heads to State One stacked line-up

by Rhody Heller ‘11

The future of this team is very bright. The only thing that can hold the Raiders back is lack of hard work, which will not happen in the foreseeable future.

Players to watch: Tyler Engel, Chris Weinstein, Cole Cunningham, Gus Lundquist sophomores and juniors on the varsity squad,” Patrick Barton said.

“Regis Jesuit Cross-Country is on a full regiment of pain in practice,” junior varsity runner Daniel Deane said.

“We can win state if we get and stay 100% healthy and if we make sure that we are able to run up the hills at the state course,” Patrick predicted.

Daniel’s opinion is: “Can we?

Yes. Will we? That’s for us to decide.”

Key Matchups: 10.12.2010 7:00pm @ Mountain Vista

Junior Nick Willenbrock swings for the greens Key matchups: 10.14.2010 3:00pm League Meet @ Colorado Horse Park 10.22.2010 TBD Regionals @ Clement Park Top 7 Varsity 10.30.2010 9:00am State @ Arapahoe County Fairgrounds, varsity only Rivals: Smoky Hill, Creek Runners to watch: Morgan Jones, Joe Somers, Chris Monark, and Brian Monohan

Soccer Fields Young Talent The Raiders return high hopes Mitch Robinson ‘11

10.14.2010 4:30pm @ Rock Canyon 10.19.2010 7:00pm @ Heritage Rivals: Douglas County, Denver East, and Ponderosa Captains: Luke Neas, George Ryan, and Hank Winterscheidt Coach: Chris Walsweer

Senior goalie Hank Winterscheidt leads the Raiders

entertainment Take the Bet

Rock Out with Jesus

RAIDER REVIEW STAFF Cover your school!

Fall musical preview The RJ Guitar Club rocks out Ben Mohler ‘14

Richard Rubel ‘11

Two gamblers. One night. One thousand dollars. The classic fifties gambling musical, Guys and Doll’s, is now the Regis Jesuit 2010 fall musical.

Have you ever heard the sound of instruments playing at Regis Jesuit and wondered who was making that glorious and magnificent sound? The answer is, of course, the Guitar Club.

Nathan Detroit is looking for some money so he can host his craps game in the Biltmore Garage. To do this he needs con Sky Masterson, the man that will lay a bet on anything he thinks will make him money.

“This play is a lot different from anything we’ve ever done at Regis Jesuit,” Jordan Hansen (or “Nicely Nicely Johnson”) said.

“It has a lot of comedy in it, and is a whole lot of fun to make.”

The play will be directed by Ms. Dolores Boyle, who also teaches theater at the Girl’s Division.

The music is being played by the Regis Jesuit Concert Band, led

by Mrs. Heather Davis.

“The whole cast is close, kind of like a family,” Ceci Quintero (Adelaide) says. “Everything just works together and we have a great time.”

Behind stage, crew members are working as hard as the ones on stage. Senior Ben Stevinson, head of lights and member of the production staff commented, “We just kind of make the whole show work.”

“I think this is a fantastic show.”

Sam Cannata, who plays Liverlip Louie commented. “It’s going to go great – everyone should come see it.”

Guys and Dolls will be performing at Colorado Heights University November 20-21. Get your tickets today.

son for people to play.

“Ah, you know, it gives people a good release to kind of get themselves away from school

The guitar club allows you to play your instrument during any time at lunch or office hours.

and concentrate on something simple like a guitar with six strings. It’s therapeutic.”

“It’s a wonderful, creative thing.

Its fun and its social, because everybody likes music,” club moderator Mr. Heidenry said.

If you want to start playing with all of the other great guitarists at Regis Jesuit High School then go to Room 166 during lunch.

Above: Connor Kelly ‘11 makes his guitar scream

Bungie Concludes its Epic Saga Halo: Reach Review

more creative than Halo 3.

Halo 3: ODST’s firefight game mode makes a return in Reach, as well as a vastly improved Forge Mode.

Benton Waterous ‘12 Three years after the monumental release of Halo 3, game studio Bungie has released the final installment of their awardwinning franchise, Halo: Reach.

Set immediately before the events of the first Halo: Combat Evolved, the alien Covenant has invaded the planet Reach. Instead of playing as Halo 3’s lone wolf super-soldier Master Chief, the gamer plays as Noble 6, a

Editor-in-Chief: Morgan Jones ‘12 Editor-in-Chief: Dominic Fante ‘11

Heidenry wants to see more people this year because of the exciting changes and opportunitutes.

Have you never played before but still want to? No problem.

The guitar club offers guitar lessons to all levels of guitar.

“I feel as if God reigns from the heavens and is performing his might through the power of my fingers,” senior Connor Kelly said. Connor always sees a rea-

member of an elite team.

A fantastic graphics engine makes this the best looking Halo game to date, and definitely one of the best looking games on the Xbox 360.

New “Armor Abilities” such as the jetpack replace Halo 3’s awkward equipment mechanic. The narrative of Reach is also far

The tried-and-true multiplayer of Halo 3 carries over into Reach with a slew of new weapons, abilities, and vehicles, as well as a set of expertly crafted multiplayer maps on which online competitors can do battle. Another notable addition to Halo: Reach’s multiplayer experience is the new objective based “Invasion” game type.

Advanced Editors and Designers Michael Harpole ‘12 Drew Dyer ‘11 Michael Clark ‘11 Mitch Robinson ‘11 Matt Thompson ‘11 Cameron Sparough ‘11 Benton Waterous ‘12 Jerry Keating ‘11 Tyler Fox ‘11 Cooper Cohen ‘12 Reporters Evan Batten ‘12 Peter Bayer ‘12 Billy Cuddy ‘12 Daniel Deane ‘12 James Dillon ‘12 Ryan Ford ‘12 Evan Frank ‘11 Nick Gianfrancesco ‘12 Eric Hamilton ‘12 Drake Hammond ‘14 Ross Heath ‘11 Rhody Heller ‘11 Brendan Kelly ‘11 Connor Knobloch ‘11 Pierre Kuttner ‘12 Chris Lesnansky ‘11 Paul Maurer ‘11 Brad McWilliams ‘11 Ben Mohler ‘14 Danny Pfannenstiel ‘12 Richard Rubel ‘11 Kyle Stemper ‘11 Grant Wagner ‘12 Sean Whitley ‘14 Ryan Winters ‘11 Hank Winterscheidt ‘11 McKenna Klein ‘13

A triumph in game design, Halo: Reach is one of the best games of the year. As the last game of the series, it is fitting that Bungie decided to go full circle and conclude the Halo saga where it began.

Overall Score: 4.75 out of 5 Pros: Fantastic graphics, new multiplayer experiences, and a wide variety of online activities Cons: Story not as strong, competitive online play could be intimidating for new players

Poke Me

The social media revolution

Ryan Winters ‘11, Kyle Stemper ‘11, & Paul Maurer ‘11 Social media is the future. High school students are spending more and more time on websites like YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Join the movement.

“I think Twitter is like its own different thing. The emphasis is mostly on other peoples’ statuses and thoughts during the day.” -Ross Heath ‘11

Facebook passed MySpace in 2008 as the most popular networking site.

Michael Eller ‘11 Favorite Video: David After Dentist “The kid reminds me of how Brian acted when he was younger.”

Brian Eller ‘14

“Facebook is really easy to check no matter where you are, whether it’s from a computer or your phone” - Evan Frank ‘11

Favorite Video: Leprechaun in Mobile Alabama.

“It is funny and ridiculous.”

Ryan Garbrecht ‘12

Above: The cast throws down some dance moves

11

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 // The Raider Review

Students at RJ think MySpace is outdated. “No one ever really uses it anymore,” senior Tanner Ernst said. “I used to have a MySpace but now I only use Facebook.”

Visits YouTube: Mornings before school to hear some Bieber Favorite Video: Justin Bieber’s Baby. “I have a bad case of Bieber fever.”

12

backpage

The Raider Review // Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Notorious Dr. Big Love Your source for relationship help

Don’t get the cold shoulder

Allow Me to Introduce Myself...

For the past three years, I left you all and went on a spiritual journey of love. I have been busy hanging out with the Dalai Lama in Tibet, kicking it with the Pope in Rome, and now I’m back in America with the big man of love himself, Dr. Phil.

Lets get back to your letters.

Dear Mr. Big Love, Help me Notorious Big Love, you’re my only hope! I was hanging out with my best friend last year and I met his sister.

We started talking a lot and we have now become pretty good friends. I am starting to like her more than just a friend. The issue is: should I risk my friendship with both of them in order to have a relationship with her? How can I tell if she likes me?

-Taylor Lautner Taylor, Well brah, its Dr. Big Love, I got my PhD. The first thing that you have to find out is whether or not your best friend’s sister likes you. I know that you and her are good friends, but that doesn’t mean that she wants to be more

than friends, especially if you are not all that attractive. You have to feel it out before you risk your friendship with her and your best friend. The first thing you should do is ask her friends whether or not they know if she is into you. Girls like to talk about this kind of thing.

Lax Wands

Another way is by hanging out with your best friend’s sister more and more. But don’t be a creeper. Calling her everyday at exactly 4:45 AM to wish her a good morning before anyone else is creepy. She’s not a vampire, and she needs her sleep.

The “lax bro” is a staple of Regis Jesuit’s state-caliber lacrosse program. What makes this particular bro so special? Could it be his flow? Could it be his ability to rip duck-sauce? Could it be his looks, granted to him by none other than BROseidon, King of the BROcean? Nah. It’s the lax bro’s wand. Obvi.

Whenever you are at your friend’s house, turn your mac on with his sister, and play out whether or not she is buying it, and if she is, it is a prime chance to make your move.

If your friend doesn’t hate you by now, I must say congratulations — you dodged a major bullet. Believe it or not, this issue is quite common.

It might be a good idea to talk to your friend first. A lot of good friendships can become complicated or be ruined if you date siblings. However, a lot of good can come from a new relationship, especially if it’s for the right reasons. Talk to your friend and subtly mention the idea that you like his sister.

The BRO-lossary

A look into the life of a bro Hank Winterscheidt ‘11 “Lax, Love, Live, Life, Lettuce, Lax,” says senior midfielder Derek Ball, “are simple words for every bro to live by”.

The wand, also known as the spoon, ladle, twig, or fiddlestick, is the one tool that makes the lax bro so unique.

I tossed the frosty nug with some of RJ’s best laxers and found out about their personal wands. So strap up your gnar boots and grab your buckets because we’re headed for pipe city, bro.

Bro

Kevin Wylie

Tanner Ottenbreit

Derek Ball

Wand Name:

None, because “they break too often to get attached.”

“Prof. Glenn Swanson”

“The Halfway House”

Wand Style?

“The ladies love the flow.

I condition my mesh with Herbal Essence to make it softer and more maliable. I treat the spoon like I treat my hair. Girls love the hair.”

“I throw BTB’s err’day and throw some rusty gates with it in my free time.”

“I leave the wand rough and coarse. Like a wild beast... in the wild. The girls love that.”

Outfit to match wand?

“Purple Umbro shortshorts w/ pink trim.

Several lax pennies that I transition through.”

“Turf dogs, mid calves, nice pair of shorts, penny, croakies, and a sweet pair of shades.”

“PJ’s for when I go to bed with my wand. Polka dotted, naturally.”

Plans for your Flow?

“Probably doing LocksFor-Love.”

“Grow it out ‘till at least November then get a trim and put some product in it. Let the lettuce rage.”

“Flow is for the head, not for the spoon.”

It helps if you sandwich it in like so: “Bro, I dig your fresh kicks today, your sister is kind of a babe, hey, did you see that new episode of Glee?” If he doesn’t punch you right then and there, there is hope for you. Best of luck broha, keep me posted on what’s happening with you two.

Left: GTLing with Bruno Above: Ceramics and stretch time

Love, Notorious Dr. Big Love

V The RJ Voice Your News.

Online.

Coming Soon...

Flow – Lacrosse player’s hair, commonly very long and “flowy” Rip-Duck Sauce – Skillfully shoot a lacrosse ball (same as “picking corn” and “quacking the beagle”) Wand – Lacrosse Stick (spoon, ladle, twig, or fiddlestick) Frosty nug – lacrosse ball BTB – Behind the back (pass or shot) Turf dogs – Lacrosse cleats (worn by lax players for all purposes) Croakies – Strap to hold sweet shades around your neck

Computers Go On Strike!

A technological meltdown Billy Cuddy ‘12 All technological communications were shut down for several hours today as the first stage of the robot revolution began.

The student body was stunned as all computers refused to cooperate with the mouse and keyboard commands. Instead they just sat there, a window on the monitor displaying the message, “We’re on strike.”

“I’m stunned,” said Mr. Timme, technology expert at Regis Jesuit, “Nothing like this has ever happened before.”

Some were almost driven into severe depression because they couldn’t log on to Facebook.

“Facebook is my life. Without it, I am incomplete.” Senior Ryan Winters said.

The strike started at 1:30 PM when few students were using computers.

“It’s a good thing they struck when they did,” Mr. Dawkins,

journalism teacher, said, “if they went on strike earlier today, the results would have been…well… it makes me shudder even to think of it.”

Many, however, are still concerned. “I’m afraid to think of what they might do next,” physics teacher Mr. Wilson said, “If they’re smart enough to go on strike, how far away is the end of humanity and the rise of the machines?”