Buying or Selling?
Carol Hofmann
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OVERfifty
REGISTER PUBLICATIONS 2014 ©
Down Memory Lane
Remembering a friend with ALS
hugs and handshakes. He introduces his caretakers, Shirley and her daughter Linda. Somewhere he had seen Shirley, an old friend, and asked her to come to take care of him. She did. Now she is his nighttime and It is 4:55 PM and we are ready to eat. morning helper. Dick sits the table with Ray and me. He There is no sign of Dick. Everyone sits down at a table and it gets quiet. We do not know patiently sips his tomato soup with a straw. what to expect. Maybe he is too tired and is Fortunately, someone had brought a chocolate pudding which Linda feeds to him. He not going to make it. Dick called to say he is coming to In- tells of losing 50 pounds and I realized that verness for a week to visit with his friends. is why he looks so frail. We have a most He said he planned to be at our club soup lively conversation. I notice when he clasps his hands and gives them a big sling he supper. He lived in our mobile home park and can tend to his nose which constantly runs. Shirley says he has a machine used his many skills to help anythat could help that but he has not one that needed assistance. He given in to machines yet. had a special passion for helpDick shares that he does not ing the homeless, especially those have any pain. He announces the that lived in the woods outside of best news is that he could still town. He called them “his gals dance. (His legs are strong yet.) and guys.” He kept supplies in his He has Linda, his pretty helper, truck in case he met someone in stand. Then she helps him put his need. I heard him say many times, arms around her waist and they do “Whoever needs food, I give it a few steps. His weak arms slip to them. If I have anything they need, I give it to them. I don’t Doris Butt down around her hips. He laughs and said, “It all ain’t bad.” care who they are.” Dick gave Later my husband Ray has an unconditionally. Then Dick told us, “Something is the mat- unforgettable moment with Dick when he ter with me.” He did not even have enough comes to visit with his friends from when strength to drive a nail. He went to several he volunteered on our Rails and Trails Park. doctors and three times he took painful tests. Ray is there volunteering on a fence building I remember his words. “They jab a needle in project. It is a chilly day so Ray buttons his this far. (two inches). It doesn’t hurt going shirt for him. As he is filling around a fence in, but when they wiggle it around…boy. post, Dick asks for a shovel. Ray places his They did that to every muscle in your body, in his hands drooping below his waist; Dick even under my tongue. They give you those pushes it in the dirt, and then gives it a kick little electric shocks too; they sure make with his foot. He laughs and says, “Now your feet fly up.” We were all saddened, to I have helped you,” Tears flowed for their say the least, when the diagnosis came. He good friend. I am sure he found ways to help the homehad Lou Gehrig’s (ALS) disease. It leads to less while he was here. I do know that he total helplessness. His reaction, “I said to Doc, I don’t have is welcomed at the church which provided a problem with that. I have lived a good life. much of his food for his homeless. There If I got it, I got it. I’ve got to go home (New Linda fed him communion. Dick has a safe flight home. Soon he must York). When I can’t help myself, I will get someone to come in and take care of me. I’ll have a feeding tube and a breathing tube before he gets too weak. I am sure, as the need help.” Dick, now 73, left last year when he could disease grips him, he will have many pleasno longer drive his truck. Soon afterwards ant memories of his visit back to Inverness. My thoughts of Dick bring tears to my his wife died. Some commented she would not have to see him suffer. We recently eyes. At first, I think they are for him, but learned now has full time care. Even though now I am not so sure. Maybe they are for we know Dick is a man of great determina- me. Maybe I have tears of frustration What tion, we wonder how he would manage the about me? Am I challenging myself? I must seek out some of Dick’s determination in trip. At exactly 5 o’clock Dick opens the club- me. I am wasting so much of myself. Dick lived two more years. house door. We all are taken back. He is thin and his arms hang limply at his side. His Doris Butt is a retired teacher who splits head tilts forward. He gives a broad smile and says, “I made it.” Many blink back tears time between Florida and Indiana. She can as he goes from table to tables to receive be reached at raydoris53@aol.com. Editor’s note: This column originally appeared in Over 50 in 2008. With the recent ALS challenge Doris remembered her friend’s struggles with the disease.
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SEPTEMBER 2014
Farewell to Dolores Emley Sadly, the last link to Over 50’s past has been broken. Dolores Emley, who cofounded Over 50 with her late husband, Fred, died July 20, 2014. The couple had been partners in life from the time they were married in 1950 until Fred’s death in 2009. Their journey through life took them from Cincinnati to Washington, D.C., to places around the U.S. selling advertising on telephonebook covers before finally “slowing down” for life on a farm in between Moores Hill and Dillsboro. Fred Emley was an energetic soul matched by Dolores, and through their nearly 60 years of marriage they tried their hands at various entreprenurial enterprises in addition to his work as a Cincinnati firefighter. Their only child, son Ed, recalled fondly
his parents’ energy and enthusiasm for life in a story marking the Emleys’ “retirement” in Over 50’s May 1999 edition. Their endeavors ranged from a huckster wagon to a vineyard, before starting their successful set of magazines including Over 50. But besides their businesses they were also active with the Shriners. Fred was a member of the group, and Dolores a member of the auxilary. The couple were well known around Dillsboro, not to mention much of Southeastern Indiana. Dolores’ death has left a hole in the hearts of not only her son and his To honor Dolores and Fred, one of Dolores’ columns writing under the name of Maud Quinby is included in this month’s edition. Erika Schmidt Russell Editor