The CUSAN Winter 2023

The CUSAN CUSAN

Winter

© 2023 RENEW International

The CUSAN is the semi-yearly magazine of CUSA, an apostolate of persons with chronic illness and/or disability.

The passages from the Letter to the Hebrews are from the New Catholic Bible, Copyright © 2019 by Catholic Book Publishing Corp. All rights reserved.

The passages from Psalm 91 are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Cover and interior design by Linda L. Eberly

Published and printed by RENEW International

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Phone: (908) 769-5400

www.renewintl.org

www.cusan.org

In this issue

by Dolores Steinberg | Editor

The solemnity of Mary’s Immaculate Conception, December 8, 2022, marked a milestone in CUSA’s history—75 years since its founding in America. The blessings this represents are beyond counting! We begin this issue with photos taken that day after the anniversary Mass and also a photo showing that the Holy Father blesses all of you. May your prayers and sufferings, offered for so many, be forever fruitful in Christ.

In this issue, Anna Marie Sopko recounts what it was like to attend the anniversary celebration in person, and Father Jerry Bracken, absent with a challenging health issue, tells what thoughts came to him to share with you. And Father Lawrence is back—with a regular column! We also gratefully include contributions from CUSANs Nancy Roney, Sister Maureen Floyd, and Shirley Bowling. With CUSA’s beginnings in mind, we include as well some excerpts from the memoirs of Jerry Filan and Betty O’Brien, two of the first CUSANs in America. Finally, to all who have contributed articles or thoughts or pictures for this magazine over the years, thank you. We wouldn’t have anything to print without you! And be encouraged, each and every one, whether you have ever contributed or not, to send in your thoughts, stories, interests, or challenges. They will be a gift to us all. God bless you, and I hope you enjoy this issue.

A Mass and reception commemorating the founding of CUSA by Mrs. Laure Brunner in 1947 was celebrated at Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church in South Orange, New Jersey, on December 8, 2022.

Dr. and Mrs. Richard Williams visit with former CUSA administrator Anna Marie Sopko at the reception following the jubilee Mass.

Dr. Williams, now retired, was Anna Marie’s personal physician.

Gene Rainis, left, president of the Brunner Foundation, talks with Monsignor Robert Sheeran, former president of Seton Hall University, who celebrated the jubilee Mass.

RENEW International President G. Gregory Tobin shows the papal blessing bestowed on CUSA to Joan Donnelly, Anna Marie Sopko, and CUSAN Editor Dolores Steinberg.

Joan Donnelly, left, former president of the CUSA Board of Directors, chats with Mary Sue Schneider, sister of Anna Marie Sopko.

Our Lady of Sorrows Church in South Orange, New Jersey, site of the CUSA 75th Jubilee Mass.

A Letter to CUSANs

Rev. Jerry Bracken, C.P. CUSA National Chaplain

Dear CUSANs,

On December 8, 2022, CUSA, now administered by RENEW International, celebrated its 75th anniversary at Our Lady of Sorrows Church in South Orange, New Jersey. As National Chaplain, I was supposed to be the main celebrant and preacher. But I could not.

I had thought: even though I was to have a lumbar spine operation in September, I would have no problem celebrating the Mass. The doctor said I could drive a car within three to four weeks of the operation, though he did not say what distance. So what happened?

But may I tell you what led up to my thoughts for this letter? Two and a half years ago, the back pain I was having started going into my legs. When I tried to contact the doctor, there was no forwarding address nor other ways of finding him. Not until I revealed my plight to a friend did I find that she had had a successful spine operation from a Dr. Goldstein. So I contacted him. He suggested various pain-relieving shots, but over six months they did not work. So, he scheduled the operation for September.

An injured toe and possible infection delayed the procedure to November 14. It went fine, but not me. I caught Covid 19 and had to be quarantined in the

hospital till the 29th. Then, because of a mix up, I was not able to go to a rehab center. Three days later, because of abdominal pain, I had to go to the nearby hospital emergency room. Then it took time for the social worker, nurse, and physical therapist to carry out a treatment plan. But only three visits.

Now, it’s “water, walking, and exercise” every day and outpatient therapy twice a week. But toe injury, delayed operation, Covid 19 quarantine, opportunity for rehab center gone, emergency hospital visit, and delayed therapies have combined to test my hope.

This got me to thinking about hope itself. My first thought came from people wishing me well and promising to pray for me. The prayers have not taken away the pain. Nor have they sped up recovery. They’ve done something else: they have called down God’s grace. Doing the 50 times, six exercises, morning, afternoon, and evening and going for outpatient therapy has been wearing. It’s been God’s grace giving me the push to do it that has worked. Then, when I get pain in my legs while sitting at Mass, I think, “Well, since you can’t concentrate on the prayers, you can use the constant pain as your way of praying constantly.”

So, with each setback, the grace with its push comes and I keep going. My consolation is that somehow all of this is going to work, and I’ll be able to walk without pain, ride my bicycle, or even go skiing!

But then I look around me at the men I’m living with.

Father M must constantly use a catheter, has problems with balance, and has a heart condition. It’s not that he’s going to get better. But each time he comes home from the hospital, he shows up for community prayers and Mass, meals, and recreation. What keeps him going? I believe it’s hope. I imagine him saying, “What I am doing is not only good for me, but for others as well.”

Then there is Father C, another priest who for 16 years has gone for dialysis three times a week, driving himself there while taking along his wheeled breathing machine, because he also has COPD, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. What keeps him going? He answers, “I don’t want the alternative.” And inside of these humorous words of his is, I believe, hope, which is really a combination of faith in God’s promise, hope in its fulfillment, and reliance on his love, to which we give the proper name “charity.”

This hope is the kind the Letter to the Hebrews speaks of: “Faith is the assurance of what we hope for and the conviction about things that cannot be seen” (Hebrews 11:1–2). The assurance comes from God’s promise to take care of us, so we have faith. We believe His promise and have hope for things that cannot be seen.

Then, later in the same letter (Hebrews 11:8–19), we read about Abraham. God told him to set out from his own country to go to a place where his descendants would receive an inheritance. Even though Abraham “did not know where he was going,” he obeyed. Then,

when he got to that “promised land,” which we know as Israel, “by faith he sojourned [there] . . . as in a foreign country.” God said it would be “a place that he was to receive as an inheritance.” And what was the inheritance that his descendants would have? Abraham did not know, but, with faith, he believed God’s word and hoped for its fulfillment, trusting God’s love that was behind it.

Next we read, “By faith Abraham also received the power of procreation, even though he was well past the age—and Sarah herself was barren—because he believed that the one who had made the promise would be faithful in fulfilling it.” Abraham believed that the God who loved him would make it happen.

Then came the final test of his faith. “By faith Abraham, when put to the test, offered up Isaac. He who had received the promises was ready to offer up his only son, of whom he had been told, ‘Through Isaac descendants shall bear your name.’ For he reasoned that God was able even to raise someone from the dead, and in a sense he was given back Isaac from the dead.”

Of course, we know God stopped Abraham from offering his son. He offered a ram instead. And we realize that what was not stopped was the death of God’s own Son, so that with faith in His rising we are able to go on.

Another friend said, “It is hope that enables us to live on into the future.” What we need to realize is that not

only do we need a concrete thing to hope for, we also need to put our ultimate hope in God. In other words, it is God who enables us to go on.

Though we do not see God, we believe Him. Even when the good things we hope for keep changing, or we cannot even see what we should hope for, we must rely upon God and hope. Why? 1 John 5:16 tells us: “We have come to know and to believe in the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God and God in him.”

And this is what CUSANs do. You accept your chronic disabilities and illnesses, and, believing in God and abiding in His love, you offer your disabilities and illnesses for the apostolic work of His Church. In addition, you share your faith, hope, and love with those of your group, so that in praying for each other, God’s grace will give each of you a push to keep on going— believing, hoping, and loving God and all He created.

Sincerely,

CUSA’s 75th Anniversary

by Anna Marie Sopko Administrator of CUSA from 1976 to 2007

I can’t believe it’s been 75 years since CUSA began. It was December 8, 2022. The van and driver sent by RENEW had come, so without delay Dolores and I left St. Ann’s nursing home to arrive by noon at Our Lady of Sorrows Church in South Orange, New Jersey. I told her I was never there, but when we arrived, memories started returning. Sixty years ago—maybe more—I was there when our high school’s basketball team played Our Lady of Sorrows. I don’t remember who won, but I know we had a good time. Now, Dolores and I were going there to celebrate CUSA’s 75th anniversary!

The Mass marking the event was scheduled as a regular parish Mass on this Holy Day, the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. My wheelchair was placed in front of the first pew, with CUSA and RENEW International people behind me. Joan Donnelly of our Board of Directors was one of CUSA’s representatives.

Father Jerry Bracken, our CUSA National Chaplain, who was scheduled to celebrate the Mass, found himself in the hospital recovering from back surgery. That was our biggest disappointment. I am sure his prayers from his hospital bed helped CUSA. We missed Father Jerry’s words about CUSA, but the

Mass was the most important, offered by a local priest, Monsignor Robert Sheeran from Seton Hall University. Joan Donnelly did the first reading, from the book of Genesis, and my sister Mary Sue did the second reading, from St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians.

At the end of Mass, a woman came up to me, much to my surprise—the wife of my former personal physician. I knew Dr. and Mrs. Williams lived in the area, but I did not know where. This was an unexpected and pleasant moment. In addition, I was happily surprised to be greeted by another CUSA Board Member, Gene Rainis, president of the Brunner Foundation, who was present for the occasion.

After the Mass we went into one of the meeting rooms for a light lunch, provided by the RENEW team. While we were enjoying the delicious food and each other’s company, Mrs. Williams walked in with her husband, which was like a birthday gift to me. It was an extra highlight, since Dr. Williams had retired from practice, and we had not seen each other for several years.

When lunch was over, the van that RENEW had provided for our transport from the nursing home was waiting for us, and I got back to St. Ann’s shortly after 3 p.m. with a handful of happy memories.

From the Spiritual Apothecary of Friar Lawrence

“The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress, My Deliverer”

by Father Lawrence Jagdfeld, O.F.M. AdministratorofCUSAfrom2007through2021

While I attended Quincy College (now University), I majored in English. I continued my education at the University of Illinois where I earned a master’s degree in education. I thought that I would be spending the rest of my life teaching English on the high school level. God had other plans for me.

I have always been an ardent fan of St. Lawrence of Rome, whose name I bear. I can also say that one of my favorite characters in Shakespeare’s body of work is Friar Lawrence who secretly presides at the marriage of Romeo and Juliet, and who provides Juliet with a sleeping potion that feigns death. We all know that his plans went drastically awry.

Friar Lawrence was an apothecary. He provided remedies for the maladies that afflicted the people of Verona. I am also a Franciscan Friar but no apothecary. At the same time, I think that I am something of a spiritual apothecary as I endeavor to provide opportunities for strengthening one’s spiritual life and relationship with God. Hence, the name of this column: “From the Spiritual Apothecary of Friar Lawrence.”

Of course, Shakespeare was not the only author that I studied in college. The seminar that was offered to the graduates of 1970 before we took our compre -

hensive exam featured American writers who philosophized on the characteristics that defined the “New Adam” who populated this nation. One such author was Ralph Waldo Emerson who wrote the essay entitled “Self-Reliance.” Emerson was an essayist who had been a Christian pastor. Consequently, I have always wondered how this man could abandon the teachings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, which teaches us anything but self-reliance.

The “reversal of fortune” theme is woven throughout the entire Gospel. The first shall be last. The last shall be first. The greatest shall be the least. The least shall be the greatest. If you wish to be the master, serve the others; for the servant will become the master. Rulers will be thrown down from their thrones, and the lowly will be raised up. The hungry will be well fed while the rich will go away empty. In short, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is a Gospel of reliance upon God rather than reliance upon self.

When we consider the heroes of the Hebrew Scriptures (Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, King David, etc.), it quickly becomes evident that the one thing they have in common is their reliance upon God whom they know to be true to his promises. In particular, when we look at King David, we find that his missteps (the murder of Uriah and his adultery with Bathsheba) were occasioned by the fact that he temporarily set aside his reliance upon God and followed his own will.

Jesus was victorious over death by accepting God’s will for him. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prays that God would spare him the coming trial. However, he punctuates that request with the important words, “Not my will, but yours be done.”

Jesus relies upon the love of his Father rather than upon his own will. He has taught us that if we wish to be his disciples, we must pick up our cross and follow him. Confident that nothing can separate us from the love of God, we rely upon it rather than upon societal or cultural norms.

“I love you, LORD, my strength, LORD, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, My God, my rock of refuge, my shield, my saving horn, my stronghold!” Like the author of Psalm 18, it is the Lord, my God, upon whom I rely.

In Memoriam

CUSA notes the passing of Father Earl Keating, C.P., who was a priest for 65 years; John Dvorak, Betty Lou Hammargren, Regina Mukuku Kombe, Michael Vogt and Jennifer Bober, RENEW marketing manager.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust.”

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.

Those who love me, I will deliver; I will protect those who know my name.

Psalm 91:1-2, 11-12, 14

A CUSAN Discovers Helpful Websites

by Nancy Roney EGL 4 and EGL 8

I started with CUSA in 2013 when my husband and I were unable to participate in our church activities due to his being homebound with Lewy body dementia. I had read an article by Father Lawrence Jagdfeld, O.F.M., and learned that CUSA was opening up to caregivers as well as to people with chronic illness or disabilities.

My son has autism, so I am his caregiver. After my husband passed away in 2014, I continued with my EGL group as I felt a connection in a common faith. Over time, I became leader in EGL 8 and then in a merged group, EGL 4. I have greatly enjoyed relationships with different members in these groups who have a strong faith in God. I always felt my son with autism was my greatest teacher, and I feel I have learned a lot from our members; I hope they have learned from me, too.

I want to share now how I found some websites that have been of great help. It started with a group I am involved in called 40 Days for Life. We pray in front of abortion clinics for 40 days during Lent and 40 days before the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception.

While praying, someone mentioned about the souls of children who are miscarried or aborted. Obviously, they haven’t been baptized, so I was wondering if they

Helpful Websites

were saved. I posed the question to Father Bob Sieg, O.F.M., spiritual advisor of EGL 8, and he provided a good history on the subject and its theological background.

I was very impressed. I had known about a group of Marian priests who have a YouTube program called Ask a Marian, where people ask questions and a Marian priest answers. I thought that people are hungry for such explanations of subjects by means of good theology. It was then that I suggested to Mare Ernesto at RENEW and Father Bob that it might be something to feature in The CUSAN magazine.

A few months later, another theological question came up in my prayer group. We are taught that Jesus was both divine and human. Someone asked, “Did Jesus have a soul?” I Googled, as I often do, and found there was an actual Franciscan website called Ask a Franciscan, which answered this question similarly to the way Father Bob answered it when I asked him. It was then I again asked if this could be used in The CUSAN . Here is the link: https://www.franciscanmedia.org/ask-a-franciscan/did-jesus-have-a-soul/

For those who don’t have access to the internet, the short answer is yes. Jesus, who is truly human and truly God, has a human soul. Other questions and answers covering many topics can be found on the Ask a Franciscan website. See https://www.franciscanmedia.org/ask-a-franciscan/

On the Ask a Marian website there is a video that answers the question, “Why do we love Mary?” If you would like to watch it, go to https://www.thedivinemercy.org/videos/why-we-love-mary

Like the Franciscan website, an entire collection of questions and answers can be found at https://www. thedivinemercy.org/ask-a-marian-videos

I’m grateful for Father Bob and the priests of Ask a Franciscan and Ask a Marian for responding to questions from lay people. Seeking is all part of growing in your faith, but it’s good to be guided by people who are trained in Catholic doctrine.

Congratulations!

CUSANs congratulate the following priests on the anniversaries of their ordinations:

Father James Dwyer, 65th anniversary

Father Jerome Bracken, C.P., and Father Noel Mueller, O.S.B., 55th anniversary

Father James Bradley, 50th anniversary

Father John Eaton, O.F.M., and Father Michael Dalton, O.F.M., 45th anniversary

Thank you for your service to God’s people. May the Lord bless you.

CUSA’s Effect on Me

by Shirley Bowling EGL 4

My fifth-grade teacher told me that God had given me a writing ability and that I should use it to praise God. That is what I have done for the past 74 years.

In 1975 or so, I saw an article about CUSA, and since I had chronic asthma, I applied to this ministry. At one point, I was leader of five snail-mail groups and assistant leader of five other groups. I enjoyed this writing ministry for 35 years or more. I felt as if God was guiding and loving each member through my writing, my care of these dear friends. These were among my happiest years, and I am grateful to CUSA for trusting my leadership through Anna Marie Sopko, my inspiring mentor.

For the past several years, I have been a member of EGL 4, and I couldn’t be happier. We have a wonderful leader and a joyful sharing group. God guides and loves us through our leader. I am so grateful for CUSA’s positive influence on my life.

Prayer Poem

by Sister Maureen Floyd Passive Member

O tree, talk to me. I admire your beauty. I am here in summer or winter. I always do the will of my Maker. Sit by me in summer.

So much to give

by Betty O’Brien

Betty, one of the first members of CUSA, had a great talent for writing. Here is another installment from her unpublished book, So Much to Give. She and her family are just arriving in Ireland in 1956 and are about to disembark from the ship.

Early on July thirteenth, the Emerald Isle appeared. Even in the mist of that dawn, it looked more picturesque than I ever dreamed it to be. Standing beside the deck rail, I could see little cottages and churches dotting the greenest fields anywhere. They were in the distance, and close by, the tender moved slowly to the foreground. This small ferry was coming to take the passengers ashore. It always does, because the harbor of Cobh has no dock. While I watched this scene, I kept exclaiming, “There’s Ireland! There’s Ireland!”

With tears on my cheeks I thought of a poem my mother’s brother recited forty-three years before. He and Mom had visited their homeland then. At Uncle Pat’s request, in 1951, Father Jack repeated these same words the first time he saw the hills of Kerry. Now, through the joy of my own arrival, they sang, Oh, Ireland, isn’t it grand,

You look like a bride in her rich adorning, And with all the pent up love of my heart, I bid you the top of the morning!

The men in charge of this tender were ruggedlooking characters. Their voices demanded obedience when they shouted, “Let the girl in the wheelchair off first.” But, I was conscious of their soft brogue as soon as they said, “Walk down the gangplank, if you can.” This is why I was the first passenger of the S.S. America to set foot on Irish soil that morning. Seated in my wheelchair again, I went swiftly through the custom house to where a waiting crowd stood. Here, I was embraced by Aunt Molly, who had been to the United States in 1939. Other relatives greeted me lovingly too, although I had never seen any of them until that moment. They surrounded my “chariot” while Father Jack pushed me up the street of Cobh to a hotel. I knew I had truthfully told myself, “I will feel at ease among folks like Aunt Helena, John Casey, their son, Father Eamonn, Aunt Molly, and her daughter and son-in-law, John and Niall Browne.”

After our luggage was placed in the baggage compartments of the three cars that had come to meet us, we were on our way to Adare, County Limerick. In Cork, we stopped at the Hotel Metropole where a table had been set especially for the arrival of the O’Briens. Following dinner, we viewed the beauty of Erin from John Casey’s car. I noticed there was no structure of wood anywhere. The homes, cottages, and shops were all stone. Because we drove on the left side of those narrow roads, my mother and I held our breath with

So Much to Give

every curve. When I heard no more gasps of fear in the back seat, I knew Mama had fallen asleep between her two sisters. I took this first opportunity of silence to say my Office that day. Each time I looked up from my prayer booklet I saw a passerby riding along on a bicycle with an umbrella over his head. While we rode ahead to our happy Irish holiday, I only wanted the peace that was mine.

I always pray in the rain

When I catch the bottom drop Of an endless silver chain, Which must touch God at the top.

Cead Mile Failte needed no translation to know it meant a hundred thousand welcomes after we arrived at the Casey home in the lovely village of Adare. There, where Aunt Helena and John Casey had raised ten children, we sat down to tea and scones that awaited us. During this meal the knocker of the door sounded. It was Daddy’s cousin, Mary O’Brien. She and her friend, Jane Thompson, had arrived on a plane from New York that morning.

Now, together in an Irish living room, Mary O’Brien said, “Betty, I cannot believe we have crossed three thousand miles since your Bon Voyage party on the boat less than a week ago.” But as soon as songs floated out of Father Eamonn, while his brother, Seamas, played the piano, the idea of distance completely

faded. By the time four of the Caseys’ grandchildren recited Gaelic verses around the bassinet of their brother, wee Eamonn, our hearts were really in Ireland.

The harbor at Cobh in County Cork, where Betty O’Brien arrived in Ireland in 1956. Photo by Jason Murphy on Unsplash.

DIARY OF JERRY FILAN

The First American CUSAN (1918–1950) continued from the Spring, 2021 issue. In the aftermath of World War II, Jerry and Mary having trouble booking passage home from France.

TUESDAY: September 24, 1946

This is another two-day stretch in the same room for me. Mary stayed in all day also. The weather was pretty bad, so she decided to call Mr. Wall instead of going downtown. The phone call didn’t help much. He just said that the Washington will sail on the sixth of October. He said he couldn’t say anything else yet, because he doesn’t know just how many places he will have. However, he told Mary there may be some other way he can work our problem out. She is to go down tomorrow to see him again.

Mrs. Fussell came this afternoon. It was wonderful to see her. She seemed as delighted as we were. She is a very warmhearted and vivid person. Her eyes always fill up while she is talking to me. She had her sisterin-law with her. Mr. Fussell drove them over. He was waiting downstairs. Mrs. Fussell said she thought I looked well and she was very glad to see me again. She wanted to know what she could possibly bring me when she comes again. She said something about getting permission to shop in an American store so Mary suggested crackers and peanut butter. When she left, she promised to come back again with peanut butter and crackers, if possible, next Tuesday. Only

with the way she rolls her r’s, “crackers” sounded like a brand new word.

Her visit was very short but we enjoyed it so much. She, like Miss Lavan, slips from English to French and back again without any trouble. But, of course, her French is the real thing--complete with gestures. Mrs. F. has also promised to help if we get bad news at the U.S. Lines tomorrow. Mrs. F. knows someone high up in the Line.

When they were driving away, Mr. Fussell stopped the car under our window to tell Mary to get in touch with him if we needed help. That was really amazing. On the boat, Mrs. F. couldn’t even anchor him long enough to introduce him to us...

Today has been a long day, but, at last, we are caught up on our Operation Lourdes; so now....to prayers and bed....

WEDNESDAY: September 25, l946

Still in Paris...still waiting and hoping. This morning Mary went to 7:30 Mass. This afternoon she went back to the U.S. Lines again. As for me, this is my third day in the room. It is too bad we couldn’t have waited until sailing time in Paray or in Lourdes...but Mary felt she would have to practically “haunt” the U.S. Lines. That seems to be necessary too, from what we have seen. Today, Mr. Wall tried to put her off again, but, when she just kept standing there waiting, he told her he would “speak to Mr. Moore” about it. She waited an

hour. Then he said they had discussed our case this morning and they intend to get us on the Washington if it is at all possible. The difficulty is that “there are no two-berth cabins.” Probably what Mr. Wall really meant was that there are none available. That is the story we got from the U.S. Lines in New York, too, before Edith’s friend got busy. During the conversation, Mr. Wall told Mary he had received a letter from Reisthal of the New York office. He also told her that the “U.S. Maritime Commission is interested.” He had that information from Mr. Reisthal. Mary has to go back again tomorrow because the U.S. Lines are cabling London to see if they can get “them” to release a two-berth cabin. Mr. Wall expects to have an answer tomorrow. Mary told him that, if necessary, we could be put in separate rooms provided she could have the use of the ship’s hospital for an hour each morning to fix me up.

This afternoon while Mary was out, Miss Lavan came with the mail. There was a letter from Dad describing his “Birthday Party” and also one from Carmen. The letter we sent to Genevieve was returned marked “unknown.”

Tonight we started reading the Autobiography of St. Margaret Mary.

THURSDAY: September 26, 1946

No real news yet. This afternoon Mary took me down to the U.S. Lines with her. However, she left me outside because if any of the officers of the Line see me, they

Diary of Jerry Filan

might insist that she wait until better accommodations can be guaranteed. They’d probably guess that putting us in separate cabins wouldn’t work very well.

We hoped to have definite news today, but all Mr. Wall could tell Mary was that it would be impossible to give us a cabin for two. He said we would either have to consent to being separated or wait for the Ericcson which is to sail October 16th. He said if we want to go on the Washington, he will have to radio the ship’s doctor for permission to let us use the hospital. He said the doctor can refuse if he wants to. It will take several days for an answer to come through. Not very definite, but that’s all we have to cling to. We can’t consent to wait for the Ericcson because then if that is delayed at all, we won’t have enough money. We surely are in a mess, but Our Lady must know it and we are just counting on Her. There must be some good reason for all this waiting and confusion. Maybe it is some kind of a test or a trial. We are trying to learn to trust in Her more completely and to offer all this up.

The walk to the U.S. Lines is a long one. It takes about 1 3/4 hours of steady walking to get there from the hospital. On the way there, we stopped at the tea room across from the Madeleine for “ice cream.” On the way home we bought a little bouquet of violets to put in front of the statue of Our Lady that we bought in Lourdes. Also, on the way home we stopped in a patisserie to try to get some kind of bun or soft bread for my breakfast. Mary bought some eclairs for me.

Then she picked out what looked like a nice icing. When we were still about a half hour’s walk from the hospital, she felt very tired and hungry and decided to taste a bit of it. It turned out to be some kind of a creamed meat patty. The “cream” was made with a very cornstarchy substance and had a flavor something like mayonnaise. What a disappointment!

By the way, the weather today was perfect. It was a real “golden” autumn day, sunny and quite warm.

What we particularly noticed on our walk today was the flower stands. We have never seen such brilliantly colored and beautifully arranged flowers before. There seemed to be an endless variety of them and they are sold very cheap at the street corner stands. We also

A flower shop in Paris. Photo by Simona Sergi on Unsplash.

stopped and admired almost every florist’s window we passed. The people over here have many unique and beautiful ways of arranging flowers.

To be continued.

SAVE THE DATE

Please join RENEW International on Thursday, June 8 for a livestream of the 2023 RENEW International Gala honoring CUSA’s 75th Jubilee

The Spirit of RENEW Award

CUSA

CUSA is administered by RENEW International.

The Monsignor Thomas A. Kleissler Award

Fr. Bob Stagg

The President’s Award Eric and Karen Dill

Livestream link to follow….

What is CUSA?

CUSA is an active apostolate that unites its members in the Cross of Christ so that they find God’s will or purpose in their suffering. Physical or mental illness or disability or chronic pain are the sole requirements for membership.

CUSANS are united through postal and e-mail group-letters that bring news of other members of the group and a message from the group’s spiritual advisor. Each CUSAN adds a message to the groupletter and mails it to the next group member.

By uniting in CUSA and collectively offering their crosses of suffering to Christ for the benefit of mankind, CUSANS help themselves and each other, spiritually and fraternally.

Members able to do so are asked to make an annual contribution of $20. Checks may be made payable to RENEW International with CUSA in the memo line. Those unable to assist CUSA financially are still welcome to join.

Mare Ernesto

CUSA Administrator

1232 George Street

Plainfield, NJ 07062

E-mail: cusa@renewintl.org

Rev. Jerome Bracken, C.P.

CUSA National Chaplain

Immaculate Conception Monastery

86-45 178th Street

Jamaica, New York 11432

Dolores Steinberg

Editor, The CUSAN

1403 Teresa Drive, Apt 4E

Fort Lee, NJ 07024

E-mail: sdoloresl2n@gmail.com