Missions Rising September/October, 2016 Vol 1 No 2

Sept/Oct 2016 Volume 1 Issue 2

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Why a Good Ole Church Fight Breaks the Heart of God!

By Tom Cheyney

Executive Director of Missions

Your Church Website: A Hindrance or Tool for Online Evangelism?

By Mark Weible Church Planting Director

www.MissionsRising.com www.GOBA.org

As an association of autonomous Southern Baptist churches, exists to more effectively fulfill the Great Commission as described in Matthew 28:18-20.

MISSION: GOBA is Southern Baptist member churches working together to impact Central Florida and the world with the Good News of Jesus Christ.

VISION: GOBA is a family of healthy growing churches loving, serving and reaching Central Florida and the world by developing and multiplying disciples, leaders, and churches.

The Renovate Conference is developing a group of leaders committed to the work of church growth by revitalizing and renewing churches and church leaders. Key conversations regarding the need for church revitalization and how to incorporate church revitalization into the local church takes place during these crucial days of collaboration.

RENOVATE seeks to influence, train, and equip, a group of church revitalizers that multiplies rapidly across the west with effective principles, ideas and solutions for the enhanced reproduction of church renewal in America.

RENOVATE provides a national platform and delivery network for advocating the need of church revitalization. We seek to spotlight significant practioners and leaders in church renewal. This multi-denominational conference is designed to connect, inspire, equip and challenge church revitalizers.

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The purpose of G.O.A.L. is to develop leaders who reproduce leaders by encouraging development in the following areas: The leader’s personal life; The leader’s relational style; The leader’s ability to build an effective team, and the leader’s ability to lead organizationally.

This is done through Greater Orlando Adventures in Leadership (GOAL), and through other appropriate seminar and conference venues. Our participants are asked to invest a minimum of two years of personal ministry development and growth in leadership development through the Greater Orlando Baptist Association.

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FEATURES

Why a Good Ole Church Fight Breaks the Heart of God!

Sept/Oct 2016 | Vol 1, No 2

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By Tom Cheyney

Your Church Website: A Hindrance or Tool for Online Evangelism?

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By Mark Weible

MAGAZINE RESOURCES BOOKS, STUDY COURSES, RESOURCES, & E-BOOKS!

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GOBA CONTENT CHANNELS for Pastors, Church Revitalizers, Church Planters, and Ministry Leaders

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6 REMARKABLE TOOLS TO FORTIFY

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Renovate One-Day Training

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G.O.A.L Training

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Coaching 101 Training

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146th Annual Celebration & Festival

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THE PASTOR WITHIN YOU

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Welcome to the Missions Rising Magazine:

The Bi-monthly Resource Magazine from Central Florida for Pastors, Staff, and Church Leaders!

Volume 1, No. 2

Missions Rising is published bi-monthly by the Greater Orlando Baptist Association 1906 Lee Road Orlando, FL 32810 Email: goba@goba.org

PUBLISHER Dr. Tom Cheyney Associate Publisher Mark Weible Associate Publisher Circulation & Marketing Linda Goans Executive Editor & Brand Manager Tom Cheyney Magazine Designer & Format Editor Gerald Brown Director of Advertizing Linda Goans Stock images from ISTOCK Photo or where otherwise noted. Š Copyright 2016 Greater Orlando Baptist Association

What a great start to the inagural season of the Missions Rising Magazine for the Greater Orlando Baptist Association!

I could not be more excited and want to thank all of those across the nation and in Central Florida for your kind words about this new magazine. Ever since I arrived some five years ago now, I wanted to replace the newsletter with a more resource helpful magazine. While it is has taken time for our staff to stretch to the level of expertise to afford us the opportunity we are well on our way with now our second edition of this magazine. Remember, this bi-monthly magazine is free to anyone and is launched with the intent of providing Just-InTime Resourcing for pastors, staff and church leaders.

Our goal every other month is to provide you with a large resource on a specific subject, which is usable for pastors and deacons to equip the staff and laity. Additionally, there will be an accompanying article about half the size of the main issue, which will focus on a tool for the local church. Mark Weible our Strategic Leader of Church Planting has written on why you need a church website that works.

We encourage you to spread the word to your staff and church leaders about subscribing to this magazine. Simply go to: goba.org and look for the Missions Rising icon on the top header. As your mission partner and GOBA family it is a great blessing to be able to provide you such a cutting edge resource on a regular bases.

Stay connected, more is coming...

This issue is focused around: Why a Good Ole Church Fight Breaks the Heart of God!

Dr. Tom Cheyney is the Executive Director of Missions for the Greater Orlando Baptist Association and serves as the Executive Editor for the Missions Rising Magazine.

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BOOKS, RESOURCES,

, E-BOOKS!

STUDY COURSES

&

Did you know that GOBA and Missions Rising offers pastors and church leaders an array of resources through our GOBA Bookstore?

You can order books online, download free eBooks, find helpful tools for leading the local church, and discover just-in-time resources to help you as a pastor or lay leader.

Church Revitalization 101: Seven Pillars of Church Revitalization and Renewal: $49.95 Value (FREE)

GOBA offers you study courses that can help you learn how to strengthen and grow your church!

The Church Revitalizer As Change Agent

Preaching Towards Church Revitalization

The Nuts & Bolts of Church Revitalization

Tom Cheyney

Tom Cheyney Larry Wynn

Tom Cheyney Terry Rials

Visit: GOBA.org/resources for the most up to date set of resources designed to help the local church.

38 Church Revitalization Models For The 21st Century Tom Cheyney

The Healthy Church: Practical Ways to Strengthen a Church’s Heart Bob Whitesel

Building A Healthy Multi-ethnic Church Mark DeYmaz

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GOBA RESOURCES & CONTENT CHANNELS

for Pastors, Church Revitalizers, Church Planters, and Ministry Leaders

Delivering Quality Thinking, Strategic Thinking, Leadership Practices and News

Go to Missions Rising.com for the latest news, podcasts, blogs, articles, just-in-time resources, and suggested books from the Greater Orlando Baptist Association and our content channel architects.

CHURCH PLANTING OrlandoChurchPlanting.com 6

GOAL OrlandoLeaders.com

RENOVATE CONFERENCE RenovateConference.org

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Greater Orlando B

GOBA

OBA

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REPRODUCING CHURCHES ReproducingChurches.com

RENOVATE ONE DAY RenovateConference.org/One-Day

RESOURCES RenovateConference.org/ bookstore 7

Why a Good Ole Church Fight Breaks the Heart of God! We are living in a day where there seems to be more of a willingness of church members to actually fight among one another than ever before. One gentlemen in a local church remarked recently, “What we really like to do is just fight one another all of the time when we should be fighting against the devil!” It is my firm belief that “Good Ole Church Fights” break the heart of God and shows the Church at its weakest foundation. Conflict isn’t far from most churches and I do not simply mean that it’s in that congregation down the street; I mean it’s coming to yours. Looking around at the modern church landscape, it can sometimes seem like bitter irony that the Bible says the manifold wisdom of God is to be shown through his church (Eph. 3:10) and yet there are so many conflicts, so many church splits, so many factions! You have heard the sounds of conflict at church I am sure. “The preacher walked right into that conflict because no one told him that Regg loves a good old church fight.” “I guess we should have told our new preacher that the flowers on the alter, though they are faded and worn, was a sacred cow at our church!” “That classroom was painted by the senior ladies group and they think they own that room even though it is the largest room available and they have only five members now.” Ah yes, the recognizable pictures of the church at work. For as much as we preach peace, and call for unity and even deny our disharmony, there it is —conflict within the Church, rough edges and ruffled feathers among the sanctified saints. Yet, thankfully we serve a God who is rich in His mercy and does not give up on us.

Danger flourishes when Christians in conflicted churches begin to act in accordance with their emotions rather than being guided and ruled by God’s Word. I wonder how many church conflicts arise out of a fundamental misunderstanding regarding what a church is. Infighting, for example, makes little sense once we grasp that the church is an earthly body designed to display heavenly unity.

Indeed, the purpose of the church is to showcase God’s glory to a watching world. His character is at stake, then, even in the smallest skirmishes. Ultimately, church conflicts are about Jesus. We ought to be exceedingly slow to fight with those whom he has forgiven and war with those whom he has welcomed. As the children of God within the local church, we must realize that there is not a single issue at the center of conflict which outweighs the Lord’s call to put our relationships in Christ Jesus above all other considerations.

Only humility can lead one to think this way.

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I am unaware of any church that has successfully resolved its church wide conflicts without first going back to the basics of what the gospel message is, its implications for faith and life, and God’s statement of purpose and mission for His church. God has indeed loved and forgiven us far more than we will ever be called to love and forgive another. The ultimate foundation for all biblical responses to church conflict, then, is gospel grace. Church conflict is a shameful thing for it hurts, divides, and tarnishes the name of Christ. Conflicts within the church additionally strike at the heart of our witness to the world. Church conflict often ends with Christ’s name slandered, the church split, and members bitter and hopeless. With so much conflict, it makes you wonder how the church holds together at all. With so many different ideas, opinions, personal agendas, and vested interest, why doesn’t the whole thing just fall apart? I have come to the rather profound sociological conclusion, and I mean this sincerely, it is purely a miracle of God.

Become Adept at Dealing With Difficult Church People and Avoiding Conflict

Research shows that supportive relationships are good for our mental and physical health and that could not be stated enough for the local church. But dealing with the always negative church individual is actually detrimental to our health as the under-shepherd. While it is a good idea to diminish those relationships that are filled with conflict, we can’t always do that as the pastor of a local church. Relationships that flourish with conflict hurt the church leader and hurt the local church. Churches are made up of people and usually there is a certain amount of family affiliation that surrounds the church so it is not always easy to eliminate such conflict from the work of the ministry. Here are guidelines for dealing with difficult people who are in your ministry:

1. Keep Your Conversations Neutral With An Explosive Church Member

Avoid discussing divisive and personal issues, like religion (Opps, did I say that) and politics, or other issues that tend to cause explosive conflict. If the other person tries to engage you in a discussion that will probably become an argument, change the subject or find a way for a quick exit to another area of the church.

2. Accept The Reality of Who They Are

It is startling to some pastors to discover that not everyone within the church is a fan. So in dealing with a difficult church member, don’t try to change the other person; you will only get into a power struggle, cause defensiveness, invite even more criticism, or otherwise make things worse.

Change your response to the other person; this is all you have the power to change. If you are continually being confronted by an abusive church member, do not allow yourself to be cornered in an area where they can assault you. Also keep a strong spiritually respected church member along your side for protection and as a witness to the non-Christ like behavior of the church member. Don’t feel you as the pastor need to accept such abusive behavior.

4. Create Healthier Patterns for Church Members to Follow

Remember that most church relationship difficulties are due to a dynamic between two people rather than one person being unilaterally “bad.” Chances are good that you’re repeating the same patterns of interaction over and over; changing your response could get you out of this rut, and responding in a healthy way can improve your chances of a healthier pattern forming.

5. As the Church Leader, Seek The Best In People

Try to look for the positive aspects of others, especially when dealing with your church family, and focus on them. Developing your optimism and reframing skills can help in this situation. The other person will feel more appreciated, and you will likely enjoy your time together more.

6. Remember Who You Are Dealing With

Seeing the best in someone is important; however, do not pretend the other person’s negative traits do not exist.

7. Rely On Proven Supportive Church Members

Rely on church members who have proven themselves to be trustworthy and supportive. This will help you and the other person by taking pressure off the relationship and removing a source of conflict.

8. Get Some Distance From the Difficult Church Member

As the Pastor, it is critical to know when it is time to distance yourself from that explosive church member. If the other person can’t be around you without antagonizing you, minimizing contact may be important. If they’re continually abusive, it’s best to cut ties and let them know why. Explain what needs to happen if there ever is to be an ongoing relationship, and let it go. Sometimes this individual will try to set themselves up as your boss, but scripturally

On Point with Dr. Tom Cheyney

3. Know What Is Under Your Control and What Is Not

as the lead pastor you are the under-shepherd and not a volunteer who takes joy in busting on you and criticizing you at every juncture. This often occurs when a formerly respected church member has fallen from his self proposed pedestal and fears his or her grip to loosening around the church because you are now becoming the new emerging pastor leader of the church. Remember that you don’t have to be close with everyone to do the work of ministry; just being polite goes a long way toward getting along and appropriately dealing with the difficult church member.

Be sure to cultivate other more positive relationships in your life to offset the negativity of dealing with difficult people.

Tips for managing and resolving conflict

Managing and resolving church conflict requires the ability to quickly reduce stress and bring your emotions into balance as the church leader. You can ensure that the process is as positive as possible by sticking to the following parameters: Listen for what is felt as well as said. When we listen we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Listening also strengthens us, informs us, and makes it easier for others to hear us when it’s our turn to speak.

Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or “being right.” Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.

Focus on the present. If you are holding on to grudges based on past resentments from a church member, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Keep short accounts. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem with the church member.

Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it is important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy.

Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you are unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.

Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.

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Why a Good Ole Church Fight Breaks the Heart of God! How dare we still call ourselves the church? Can this possibly be even a faint resemblance of what Christ intends for us? But wait a minute, to be fair, if we eliminate ourselves from the true fold, there would be some others who would have to go as well. There are others in the church throughout the years who have run into their own share of conflict.

All of these individuals had to deal with abusive church members and conflicts. Maybe there is hope for us. When the church cannot come to an order of peace and agreement often the best thing that can be done is to seek an outside Christian mediator to come in and offer Christian mediation.

Great minsters such as:

Mediation is essentially a structured dialogue, led by a third person of faith (usually called a third-party neutral or Mediator), who will help the parties to a dispute identify their issues, explore options for resolution, and talk about what is important to them in a productive way. Mediation is a voluntary process designed to reach a mutually acceptable resolution of the issues in dispute.

Mediation emphasizes “problem solving” and “consensus-building”, and differs from other conflict resolution methods, such as Court litigation or Arbitration where a resolution may be imposed on the parties.

John Wesley, who was an Anglican pastor and theologian who, with his brother Charles Wesley and fellow cleric George Whitefield, is credited with the foundation of the evangelical movement known as Methodism.

Martin Luther, was a German professor of theology, composer, priest, monk and a ground-breaking figure in the Protestant Reformation. Luther came to reject several teachings and practices of the Roman Catholic Church.

He strongly disputed the claim that freedom from God’s punishment for sin could be purchased with money, proposing an academic discussion of the practice and efficacy of indulgences in his Ninety-five Theses of 1517.

John Albert Broadus, was deemed the “greatest of living preachers.” By Charles Spurgeon. Church historian Albert Henry Newman later said “perhaps the greatest man the Southern Baptists have ever produced.”

Charles Spurgeon, remains highly influential among Christians of various denominations, among whom he is known as the “Prince of Preachers”. He was a strong figure in the Reformed Baptist tradition, defending the Church in agreement with the 1689 London Baptist Confession of Faith understanding, and opposing the liberal and pragmatic theological tendencies in the Church of his day.

Peter the Apostle, was also known as Simon Peter, Simeon, or Simōn, according to the New Testament, and was one of the Twelve Apostles of Jesus Christ. He was one of the leaders of the early Christian Church. The ancient Christian churches all and associate him with founding the Church of Antioch and later the Church in Rome.

And of course Paul the Apostle, was also known by his native name Saul of Tarsus. He was an apostle who taught the gospel of the Christ to the 1st-century world. He is generally considered one of the most important figures of the Apostolic Age. In the mid-30s to the mid-50s AD, he founded several churches in Asia Minor and Europe. Paul took advantage of his status as both a Jew and a Roman citizen to minister to both Jewish and Roman audiences.

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What is Christian Mediation?

What is the Biblical Context for Mediation?

The Biblical support for conflict resolution is tremendous, as there are numerous scriptures that admonish us as Christians to resolve conflicts and practice forgiveness in our actions with others. The Bible itself is based on concepts and principles of forgiveness and reconciliation.

As Christians, we are all called to be Christ-like in our relationships with each other and Christ himself tells us, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:9). Also, consider the following passages: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:15).

“Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:3).

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18).

“Live in peace with each other.” (1 Thessalonians 5:13).

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” (Romans 14:19).

“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”

(Psalm 34:14).

Perhaps one of the greatest examples of support for mediation in the Church is found in Matthew 18:15-20: “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the Church; and if he refuses to listen even to the Church, treat him as you would a pagan or tax collector. I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

Why Should We Try To Resolve Conflicts?

As members of a Christian Congregation, all parishioners have an interest in positive relationships in the Church, even for those not directly involved in a dispute. You might expect that you will have an ongoing relationship with other members that will continue for some time into the future. Unresolved disagreements can be destructive to a Congregation if ignored. In this context, all members of the Congregation benefit when disputes among members are resolved amicably. Successful mediations help strengthen or renew relationships based on trust and respect between the parties; or may even terminate relationships in a non-adversarial manner. By participating in mediation, the parties have an opportunity to determine the outcome of the dispute. Mediation may not be the ideal solution for every dispute, but it is a good process to help reconcile differences and disagreements in a Christian way.

How Does Church Mediation Work?

Mediation is a way to resolve disagreements between individuals or groups when all parties agree that a neutral third-party Mediator may be able to help. The parties involved in the dispute meet with a Mediator that is trained to facilitate communication and to assist the parties in reaching a mutually acceptable resolution. Most mediation will involve joint meetings with the parties, along with separate individual sessions with each party at the discretion of the Mediator. As a rule of thumb, the process of mediation can take one hour or longer to reach resolution, depending on the

nature and complexities of each case. Before the session begins, the Mediator will explain the process, describe the expectations toward resolution, and answer any questions.

How Can Church Mediation Help?

Church Mediation can take the “heat” out of the dispute, and provide an opportunity for you to hear the other person’s side of the disagreement. This cannot always be done when people are angry at a particular moment, but the mediation process provides a “cooling-off” period that allows the parties to relax and approach a structured mediation conversation with reason, and a “referee” (Mediator) to keep things on track. Mediation helps preserve and build positive relationships, which is important to the Church and provides a Christian response to conflict.

On Point with Dr. Tom Cheyney

These passages call for all Christians to be peacemakers and consequently, we are charged with an obligation to reconcile our disagreements.

What is the Role of the Church Mediator?

The Mediator serves as a facilitator and will help the parties with a structured conversation on the issues that gave rise to the disagreement. The Mediator does not evaluate who is right or wrong in a dispute and remains impartial and neutral on the issues. The Mediator does not give any legal advice or make any judgments about the matter, but will help the parties identify potential resolutions. The Mediator does not have any authority to dictate how disagreements must be resolved.

Is Church Mediation Confidential?

Yes. By ensuring confidentiality, the mediation process can make it safe for members to raise sensitive issues of concern in a safe, private setting. The mediation process requires confidentiality in order to ensure that the integrity of the process is preserved. Moreover, GOBA Church Mediators are bound by Biblical precepts and recognized Standards of Conduct, which help to guide the process.

At the same time, Mediators try to maintain a balance between open communications and legitimacy of the process where all parties will trust the process and will be encouraged to reach agreement on resolution of the issues.

What if the Other Party Doesn’t Want to Mediate?

Mediation is completely voluntary, and can only be successful when both parties are willing to give it a try and are committed to the process involved in resolving the dispute. As noted, the benefits of mediation to all parishioners are tremendous. In many situations, the other party may not be aware that a conflict exists, but will be willing to participate in Continued on Page 14

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Why a Good Ole Church Fight Breaks the Heart of God! mediation if they are aware there is a problem. Inasmuch as relationships between parishioners are likely to be long term, most members of a Congregation will be willing to attempt resolution to the problems.

one of the great blessings of belonging to the church

If you are interested in mediation, but are not sure of the other party’s interest, you may first want to consult with your Church leadership or Pastor to determine if they feel the dispute is appropriate for mediation. Also, you may want to determine if any financial support for mediation is available through your Church. If you have already discussed the disagreement with the other party, you may already have an indication of whether the other person or group is willing to participate in mediation.

STEP 1: Consider if appropriate to overlook the offense. (Minor offenses)

How Do We Get Started?

If you wish to pursue mediation, you may first want to determine if your Church already has a conflict resolution program in place. If not, you may discuss the issues with a GOBA Mediations Associate who will first talk with you to gain an understanding of the issues, and discuss your options. Following this, the GOBA Mediations Associate will talk with the other party and will explain the process and potential benefits of mediation, and help the other party consider whether they will participate. At the end of this conversation, the other party may decide not to participate in mediation. If both parties agree to participate, the GOBA Mediations Associate will work out a convenient time, date and location for the parties to meet to begin the process. It is important to have the support of your Church if mediation session will take place on Church property.

Once you have the initial discussion with a GOBA Mediations Associate, some disagreements may be resolved without the more formal mediation sessions. In other situations, the parties may write an agreement for resolution with the help of the Mediator. Since this is a voluntary process, written agreements are not legally binding, but if a written agreement is produced, both parties are expected to abide by the agreement.

A Biblical Model of Conflict Resolution

Built upon Scripture’s teachings about conflict resolution and the two sample models we’ve just discussed, we can now turn towards building a biblical model. One general principle taught in Scripture is that we should try to keep the circle of people involved in a conflict as small as possible for as long as possible. If we can resolve a dispute personally and privately, we should do so. But if we cannot settle matters on our own, we should seek help from other people, expanding the circle only as much as necessary to bring about repentance and reconciliation. This is

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The comprehensive model will work through five detailed steps for resolving conflict biblically.

Again, the Bible says it is to a man’s glory to overlook an offense (Prov. 19:11). If you have been the victim of a minor offense, consider if overlooking it and thus giving up certain personal rights would best accomplish our goals:

- Would it bring the most glory to God? - Would it best maintain the unity of the body?

- Would it best grow us in holiness/Christlikeness?

- Would it best serve the other person(s) involved?

- Would you be able to forgive and make a deliberate decision not to talk about it, dwell on it, or let it grow into pent-up bitterness or anger?

In many cases the answers to any of these questions may be “no.” And this may truly not be the best solution. In those cases we move on to our next steps—the steps of Matthew 18.

THE STEPS OF MATTHEW 18:15-17

It is unquestionably necessary for all believers to be familiar with and committed to the steps of Matthew 18:15-17. They are the primary steps of conflict resolution, mediation and church discipline as well. It is urgent that the members of Christ’s Body memorize them and follow them in every situation, with rare exception.

Matthew 18:15-17 15”If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

This takes us to STEP 2 in our biblical model.

STEP 2: Go to the person individually.

This is STEP 2 in our biblical model, but the first step mentioned by Christ in Matthew 18. If overlooking the offense is not appropriate or fitting to the situation, we must proceed with this step.

Shockingly, however, studies have shown that in as many as 85% of conflict situations in the church, this step is

If your opponent professes to be a Christian and yet refuses to listen to the reconcilers’ counsel, Jesus commands you to “tell it to the church” (Matt. 18:17).

First, it’s important to understand what a witness is and is not.

suggested to assign two elders/staff to each case— preferably a mix of paid and non-paid. Assign two because the matter may be time consuming; because it is always better to have a second viewpoint; or because it could be useful for training.

STEP 3: Go with one or two witnesses.

1. What a witness is NOT

A witness is not someone who has “witnessed” the conflict. It is also not another ally in the camp of the accuser who has “witnessed” the behavior in question.

2. What a witness IS

A witness is rather an unbiased party who is asked to witness this meeting between the two parties, acting initially as a mediator to improve communication, gives an impartial viewpoint, and offer biblical counsel. The witness hears the facts of the conflict for the first time at this meeting. A church leader or spiritually mature individual is preferred. Out of humility and sincerity, the accusing party may even consider inviting a friend of the accused to be a witness. It is sometimes a challenge to find an unbiased person, so use discretion in your selection.

3. The role of a witness

The role of the witness is to observe both sides and then repeat what they saw and heard. Typically there is sin on both sides, and the witness should be attentive to drawing and pointing that out to both parties.

This does not mean announcing it to the congregation, since unwarranted publicity is totally inconsistent with the intent of Matthew 18. Instead, the leadership of the parties’ church (or churches, if not attending the same church) should be sought out for mediation.

NOTE TO CHURCH ELDERS/STAFF: It is typically

THE MEDIATION ROLE

Because this project is primarily for the training of church leadership, a fuller treatment of the role of mediator was held for this section. But, the following could also be useful for the previous two steps of Matthew 18—the meeting of person to person, and the meeting with one or two witnesses.

I. Know who is involved (the three groups, mentioned above) A. Primary Participants – those directly involved B. Bystanders – those who have concern for the people; something vested C. Third Party – not interested in details, but interested that it is handled biblically II. Determine the Roles A. Are all the parties inside the church?

B. Does one or more party represent an outside group or organization?

C. Whom do you represent?

4. Initiating this meeting

There are two ways one can initiate a meeting to address conflict with witnesses – by mutual agreement, and on your own initiative.

Before you take this step, however, it is wise and often beneficial to warn your opponent what you are about to do. For example, you might say, “We haven’t been able to resolve this between ourselves, and because the issue is too important to walk away from, my only other option is to obey the Bible’s commands, which means asking someone to help us out.”

STEP 4: Seek Mediation with church leadership (“Tell it to the church”).

On Point with Dr. Tom Cheyney

disregarded or avoided. Let me repeat that. 85% of all church conflict situations overlook Christ’s first commanded step to go straight to the person to resolve the conflict! There is no question that much of the conflict existing in our church today would not exist if God’s people followed His very first step of the process. There is also no doubt that church leaders need to do a better job implementing this in their own lives, modeling it, teaching it, and holding those with whom we work and minister to accountable to it.

III. Assess the general nature of the conflicts IV. Commit to the roles, ground rules, confidentiality, and the biblical goals V. Gather the complete facts

[Use this list as a checklist] A. Determine if the conflict is relational, material or both.

B. Define the relational or material issues in the conflict.

C. Find out what happened when (put story line Continued on Page 18

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Why a Good Ole Church Fight Breaks the Heart of God! together; confirm it with parties; ask if you missed anything).

D. Find out what the assumptions of each individual were (not just what happened).

E. Identify the hurt feelings and the source of the offense (not always what was said, but how).

F. Identify what were/are the hidden assumptions (ask: What did you think he meant?).

G. What were the perceived motives of the offended person toward the other party(s)—are these perceived motives in line with the other party(s) true motives?

H. Identify the biblical principles that were/are being violated, or are relevant to this situation.

I. Assess if legal rights should be exercised.

J. Assess what effects this dispute is having or likely to have on: 1. your family life 2. your occupation 3. your finances or property 4. your friendships 5. your relationship with God 6. your service to your church and community 7. the Lord’s reputation through you

VI. Refocus all parties on God’s concerns (If these are not agreed on, then self interest will consume.)

A. How does God want people to respond?

B. What is His desired outcome?

C. What is to His greatest glory?

VII. Personal Preparation of Primary Participants – [The church leader(s) must go through

this important checklist with the participants in order for our real goals to be accomplished.]

A. Be honest about your own sin (Eph 4:2) B. Control your tongue (James 3:2-12) ILLUSTRATION: Meekness: pictured by a palm tree bent over and tied down C. Control your anger (Eph. 4:26, 31) *Chrysostom describes such as “having the power to take revenge, but never does.”

D. Commit to love others first above being loved *Col 3:14 – And over all these virtues put on love,

which binds them all together in perfect unity

(one of our goals).

E. Pray over the spiritual warfare *As church leaders; as participants; on prayer chains; enlist prayer teams before, during and after the entire process, etc. – for every conflict situation in the church.

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F. Identify and eliminate all harbored bitterness (Heb. 12:15) *Effects of harbored bitterness: the loss of 1. property/money 2. reputation 3. joy 4. sleep 5. friends/partnerships 6. clear conscience 7. productivity 8. and more G. Surrender your rights (1 Cor. 9) Evaluation Questions Whenever you think you need to exercise your rights, ask four questions: Q: Will exercising my rights please and honor God? Q: Will exercising my rights advance God’s kingdom, or will it advance my interests at the expense of God’s Kingdom?

Q: Will exercising my rights be beneficial to all concerned?

Q: Is exercising my rights essential for my own well being? (Sande, The Peacemaker, p.94) H. Repentance for the sinful parts each participant has played in the conflict: CRITICAL QUESTION: How have I contributed to this conflict and what do I need to do?

EXAMINE YOUR SPEECH: what you have been saying to and about your opponent.

1. Reckless words 2. Grumbling & complaining 3. Falsehood—misrepresenting, exaggeration, telling part of the truth, distorting truth, using words that we know will mislead or give a false impression without correcting it (John 8:44; Gen.3:13; Rev.12:9 Satan is the father of lies).

4. Gossip—Prov.16:28; 26:20. This betrays confidence by telling others about the facts, person, or your own role in a conflict.

5. Slander—malicious words about the other person.

STEP 5A: When Church Mediation is Successful: Applying Forgiveness When Church mediation is successful at any of the points above, true and complete forgiveness must be given before complete resolution and restoration take place.

What it is NOT: It is not a feeling, forgetting, excusing, being sorry, or trusting.

The word forgetting is not biblical, not possible, and just does not work. Trust must be earned and that takes time to rebuild. This will require living graciously with the tension. Being honest is a major factor in the rebuilding of trust.

What it IS: It is an act of the will, refusing to recall,

5. Grant any Reciprocal Forgiveness Necessary

a. Willingly b. Understanding that it may need to be done more than once for the same offense If your or someone else’s natural personality, humor, thought pattern, speech or any other intrinsic behavior has a tendency to hurt or offend, it will likely take time and repetition of this process for everyone to overcome it.

honest, being compassionate, and giving up my right for revenge.

STEP 5B: When Mediation is NOT successful: Discipline and Restoration

2. How to Ask Forgiveness (and counsel it as well). (Rom. 12:17-21; Eph. 4:32)

God calls his people to act justly, seek peace, and be reconciled with others. If a Christian refuses to do these things he is violating God’s will. If he refuses to listen to his church’s counsel to repent of this sin, Jesus says the church should “treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector” (Matt. 18:17).

Realize that forgiveness is a command, but it must be asked for; not commanded by us. The command comes from God. But, though we cannot command someone to forgive us, we need to know how to ask for it. Here’s how:

a. Identify your sin – specifically. *Vagueness and generalities are easier, but do not accomplish forgiveness. b. Identify the root (1 John 2:16) *Example: pride; lust c. Write it out *“I did this, but God has shown me through time in the Word and Holy Spirit…” d. ASK: “Will you please forgive me?” *Don’t just apologize or say “I’m sorry,” as these do not require a response. A response is a necessary part of the equation, and must be asked for.

3. How to Ask Forgiveness for Unintentional Hurt

a. Dilemma – If you didn’t intend to hurt someone, how can you ask forgiveness? b. Don’t be defensive. Defending yourself minimalizes the offense, makes it worse, and causes distrust. c. Prepare to say the right things.

1.) Validate their hurt 2.) Show your motives are pure 3.) Doing these things will alleviate your self d. Prevent/avoid future occurrences.

4. Agree to Make Restoration

On Point with Dr. Tom Cheyney

1. What Biblical Forgiveness IS and is NOT.

The church cannot pretend that things are all right with people who claim to be Christians and yet refuse to listen to God as he speaks through Scripture and the church. Treating unrepentant people as unbelievers may be the only way to help them understand the seriousness of their sin. This may be accomplished in several different ways, which we’ll talk about soon.

But, it’s important to always remember that treating them as unbelievers also means that we look for every opportunity to reach out to them; to evangelize them.

If we have a proper mindset of outreach, we will not look upon these people with disdain or dislike, but with compassion and a desire that their souls are won for Christ and saved from sin.

While we don’t necessarily like the thoughts of disciplining people, removing them from our fellowship, or treating them as an unbeliever, when all prior attempts at resolution have proven unsuccessful this is what Christ commands. Though difficult, it’s clear that it is best for the individual and the entire body of Christ.

Dr. Tom Cheyney is the Exec-

utive Director of Missions for the Greater Orlando Baptist Association and serves as the Executive Editor for the Missions Rising Magazine. He is the Founder & Directional Leader of the Renovate National Church Revitalization Conference and provides various training events designed for the local church.

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MISSIONS RISING 6 REMARKABLE TOOLS TO FORTIFY THE PASTOR WITHIN YOU.

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may inquire to the costs involved and the commitments, which need to made as to the duration of the coaching cohort. There is an 18-month initial commitment required to join the network and an additional 18 months might be granted for further coaching towards church revitalization and renewal.

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These one-day training events are offered locally each month on the third Thursday and as arranged annually across North America. These events train pastors, staff, and laity in the necessary skill sets for the revitalization and renewal of the local church. Anyone is welcome at these monthly events and we promote them a month in advance allowing those who want to fly in to do so.

RENOVATEconference.org/OneDayTraining

GOAL LEADERSHIP TRAINING The Greater Orlando Adventures in Leadership is a 10-month per-year leadership training designed for

both laity and ministers alike. These monthly events are one day events laser focused towards a specific leadership issue.

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REPRODUCING CHURCHES CHURCH PLANTING CENTERS These one-day training events are offered locally on the first Thursday of each month and as arranged

annually across North America. These events train church planters, church planting teams, and laity of the church plant in the necessary skill sets for the planting, reproducing, and multiplying of the local church.

The local Central Florida events are offered for free while some of the national one-day events have a cost associated with the event.

ReproducingChurches.com/OneDay

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Your Church Website: A Hindrance or Tool for Online Evangelism?

The New Front Porch

In early Twentieth Century America, people socialized on the front porches of their homes. They did not have televisions, computers, nor air conditioners. The front porch was a place to hang out, drink some lemonade, listen to the radio and chat with neighbors. When small groups of people from local churches came walking down the sidewalk, they had an open invitation to engage their neighbors in conversation. Going door to door was the most effective means of evangelism at that time. In the early Twenty-First Century, the internet, social media and smart phones have become the new front porch. For most Americans, it has become socially acceptable to engage people in conversation through texting and social media just as it was once considered to be socially acceptable to engage people in conversation on their front porch.

To be missional is to think and act like a missionary.

Effective missionaries are students of language and culture. Missionaries want to know how to communicate with people in their target communities.

They need to know what forms of communication are considered to be culturally acceptable. They want to know how to engage people in spiritual conversations. Missionaries want to discover the most effective means of sharing the gospel with people representing the people group or population segment that they are trying to reach.

Evangelism in the Twenty-First Century

Evangelism is a word that I hear almost as often in the business culture as in Christian circles. A customer evangelist is one who spreads the good news about a product or service that he or she recommends without any thought of personal gain or reward. Customer evangelists will spread the word about worthwhile businesses through word of mouth, on their blogs, in social media, and any other way that they communicate with their friends.

Why? Because they like their friends and they want to share their experiences with their friends. No one has to train them to be evangelistic, they just love to share good news.

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As you can imagine, businesses want to have lots of customer evangelists. They want to get as many people as possible out there talking about their products and services. Some businesses have people serving in high levels of their companies with the title, “Chief Evangelist.” The job of the chief evangelist is to recruit and encourage customer evangelists while creating a sense of community for those who freely share the good news of their company’s offerings. As you can imagine, the internet has become the preferred method of message delivery for customer evangelists as an enhancement to face to face encounters.

Christians want to share their faith with their friends because they like their friends and they want them to experience the fullness of Christ.

They don’t want to go to training classes to memorize a presentation and feel pressured to “present” the gospel to their friends. Evangelism is all about sharing the gospel vs. presenting the gospel. The gospel is more than a message to be delivered; it is a life-changing experience to be shared. Read through the evangelistic encounters of Jesus in the Gospel of John and you will discover that each encounter started out as a unique conversation.

Sometimes Jesus initiated it and at other times the person being evangelized started the conversation.

While each evangelistic conversation was different, Jesus always led the person to understand their need for salvation. Take a look at these examples:

• John 3: 1-21 – Nicodemus • John 4: 1-27 – Samaritan Woman • John 5: 1-14 – Paralyzed Man • John 9: 91-6 – Blind Man

In each of these passages, Jesus simply met the people where they were, addressed their individual situation and showed them their need for salvation. Conversations like these can happen today in person, on the phone or online.

Viral Evangelism

In the examples listed above, Jesus was doing front-line evangelism. He was reaching people who did not already have a personal relationship with

With the tools that we have available to us today, we have the opportunity to reach people all over the world when evangelism goes viral.

Face to face interaction in our day is enhanced by electronic means. When we utilize the tools available to us with Biblical principles, we can see the gospel go viral resulting in more people being discipled, more churches planted and more churches revitalized. Churches can become more successful and individual followers of Jesus can be more fruitful in evangelism.

Your Church Website

Was your church’s website created for your current church members or was it designed primarily to reach new people? A properly developed website will serve several groups of people including current church members, people searching for a church, and people looking for something offered by your church.

Try this simple test: look at the home page of your current church website and count how many times a first personal pronoun (we or us) is used. Then, count how many times the second personal pronoun (you) occurs on the page. You can easily count word occurrences on a web page from most internet browsers by using the command+f or cntrl+f keys and typing a word in 1 Acts 17:29.

2 John 17:34.

3 Acts 17:15.

the search box. Try this on several pages of your website and compare the number of occurrences of first to second person pronouns. If the website is more about “we” and less about “you” then it is more church-focused than visitor-focused.

Here is another test: Look to see if your church location, especially city and state, is one of the first things that you see on your church’s website. Current church members already know where the church meets, but potential visitors need to know immediately if they’ve even landed on the right website. For example, if you conduct an internet search for “Calvary Church,” you will notice on the search engine result pages that there are many churches with “Calvary” in their name. Some of these results will have the location clearly marked with city and state either in the link that takes you to their site or in the description below the link. For some of the search results, it is difficult to tell whether or not that particular “Calvary” is even in your neighborhood, city or state. If you were a potential visitor, which one would you click? Try clicking on several of the links in the search results.

When you land on a church web page, look at it through the eyes of someone unfamiliar with the church. Does the church website clearly indicate the church’s location without having to scroll to the bottom of the page or click to another page?

Multiplying Churches with Mark Weible

the Father. Once they accepted the Gospel of Jesus they shared the good news of salvation with their families, friends, and acquaintances. Evangelism moved from the front lines along relational lines. Paul was also a front-line evangelist. In Philippi, a jailer started a spiritual conversation by asking Paul and Silas, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”1 Not only did that man become a follower of Jesus that night, but so did his entire household.2 Previously, Paul had helped a woman named Lydia come to know Christ. As a result, her entire household became followers of Jesus too.3 Viral evangelism happens when the people that we share the gospel with share it with others who share with others, etc.

Now, go back to your own church website.

How does it look to a prospective visitor? Is the location clearly indicated at the top of the page?

Ideally, the location should be in the header, next to or below the logo. Is there a phone number? Are there links to social media pages?

Is there easy to find information about what to expect or what to do on Sunday mornings?

These are all things that you can look for as you diagnose your church website for visitor friendliness.

Continued on Page 28

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WaterStone Church

900 North Street Longwood, FL 32750 mywaterstone.church

Church Revitalization Training Meetings 3rd Thursday of Each Month

8:30am - 11:55am Remaining 2016 RENOVATE 1 Day Training Meetings:

June 16 July 21 August 19 September 15 October 20

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Don’t miss this great night of fellowship for our youth all across Central Florida as we gather together on Sunday, October 9th for a picnic and then youth rally at South Orlando Baptist Church. Join Cameron Sandel, Servant Leader in Residence as he and YB lead an exciting evening of food, fun, and fellowship with other youth from across our association.

5:00pm FREE Bar-B-Q Picnic 6:00pm YOUTH RALLY

To register for the meal call 407-293-0450 and reserve your dinner reservations, we just need a guess as to how many youth you are bringing. There is no reservation required for the Central Florida Youth Rally that evening.

Get your church youth together and come for a great night of fun. The church youth group with the most present wins a special gift for their own youth ministry back at their own church.

South Orlando Baptist Church 11513 Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando, FL 32837 (in the Oasis Youth Ministry Building at the Church)

Christian Artist YB IN CONCERT

Cameron Sandel & First Orlando Leading in Worship

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Sponsor Churches Rising Aim For Your Targets

An effective church website will provide helpful information to at least three groups of people: current church members and regular attenders, potential visitors, and the general public. Think about the different groups of people who may visit your church’s website and look at the site from each group’s perspective. Members and regular attenders like to see up to date information about church activities. They may want to listen to or watch a recent sermon. Current attenders would like information on when and where small groups are meeting. A calendar of events is helpful to all of your web visitors. If you do not provide up to date information for the people who are already attending your church, they may be the least likely people to visit your church website.

Prospective church visitors want to know the time and location of up-coming worship services and what to expect in regard to worship style. They may want to know if there are separate activities for children and if dress is casual or more formal. The church website should provide this information and more in an obvious, easy to find location. A tab or navigation button simply titled “What to Expect On Your First Visit” or something similar should lead to a single webpage with all of the pertinent information for first-time visitors. A potential visitor should not have to click through several pages to get worship times, directions, expectations, child check-in procedures, etc. The best practice is to put all of this information on a printer-friendly page that makes it easy for the prospect to carry with them on their first visit.

A third group of people visiting your church website includes those who are searching the internet for something that they need, but did not necessarily think of looking for it at a church.

For example, if your church has a pre-school and the website contains information relevant to the pre-school, your church website may

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attract visitors who are not searching for a church, but they are interested in weekday childcare. What does your church website say to this group of people? Does it dispel or reinforce untrue stereotypes about Christians? Does it make a good statement about not only the pre-school, but the church itself?

What Would Jesus’ Website Do?

Jesus taught his disciples to serve one another. In John 13, he demonstrated this by washing their feet and commanding them to do the same. The church website can be an incredible tool for serving others and increasing the effectiveness of the ministry of the church. Those who work on the website should consider themselves as webservants instead of webmasters. Through your church website, you can provide valuable services to all your target audiences.

One example of great service is offering online giving through the church website. Fewer people carry checkbooks and cash nowadays and people who want to give are inconvenienced if your church does not offer online giving. Not only do your regulars want to give online, but there are others who may not live in proximity to the church who want to support the church’s work. Organizations such as SavingIsGiving.com offer low processing fees for churches while supporting mission causes. There really is no good reason for a church not to offer online giving.

A friend of mine wanted to make a large gift to his church on December 31. He had just received a royalty check and wanted give a tithe to his church and have it deducted from that year’s taxes. His church did not offer electronic giving through the church website. When he visited another church’s website that allowed for online giving, he was obliged to give through that church. The following Sunday explained to his pastor why he gave a large gift to another church. My friend’s church soon started offering online giving!

Another way of serving your target audiences is to utilize the blogging feature that is built in to most CMS based websites. CMS stands for content management system and is often used as the backend platform for website management.

Blogs can be used to keep various groups in the church informed of important details relating to church administration, training, outreach opportunities, etc. Pastors can use blogs to expand the impact of weekly sermons by encouraging the church to live out what they learn. Most pastors

that I know have a hard time reducing their sermon content to the allotted time for their weekly worship services. A blog allows pastors to expand on their weekly sermons while encouraging practical application in the daily life.

In the next chapter, we will talk about how to turn a blog into a podcast and how to syndicate blog content.

An effective church website will meet the needs of current members and regular attenders, prospective new comers as well as those who happen to find the church website while looking for something non-church related. The people who work on the website will take the posture of a foot-washing servant and go out of their way to make the website useful and inviting.

Multiplying Churches with Mark Weible

Online registration for children’s ministry and special events is an another example of providing excellent service to your members and visitors. Many churches now require parents to fill out registration and medical forms before leaving the babies in the nursery or sending children off to camp. My wife and I have attended many churches where the child check-in process for first time visitors was chaotic at best.

Since most first-time visitors will visit the church website before they attend a worship service or event, why not offer online registration for children’s ministry? Building online forms is not very complicated with a content management based websites available such as www.OurChurch. website.

Rev. Mark Weible serves

the Greater Orlando Baptist Association as the Church Planting Director. He joined the GOBA team in 2002. Mark co-leads the GOAL Leadership training besides serving as our Web architect. Mark serves as the Directional Leader of ReproducingChurches.com.

5:00pm FREE Bar-B-Q Picnic 5:15pm Kid’s Festivities Begin

South Orlando Baptist Church 11513 Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando, FL 32837 (Children’s Ministry Playground at the Church)

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of the M.E.A.N. Church 3 Powerful Lessons Complete with Downloadable PowerPoint and MP3 Audio Let’s face it, some churches are just downright mean.

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Greater Orlando Baptist Association

October 9, 2016 5:00pm Family Fun Picnic 5:15pm Kids Events & Bounce Houses 6:00pm Annual Celebration

146th Annual Celebration South Orlando Baptist Church

11513 S. Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando, FL 32837

Dr. Tom Cheyney

Executive Director of Greater Orlando Baptist Association

Dr. Jim Henry

Senior Pastor, Downtown Baptist Church 36

MISSIONS

Executive Director of Florida Baptist Convention

“GO YE THEREFORE”

Dr. Tommy Green