CALMzine issue 19

zine

CALM

CHARITY REG. NO. 1110621 & SCOT SC044347

FREE

DADDY COOL Life and How To Live It According To Young Fathers’ Alloysious

PLUS: SLAVES // DAVE CHAWNER // STRANGERS IN PARADISE // DEAR JOSH

Creative Bringing brands to life through the magic of authentic, handcrafted visual communications.

Creative www.soulfulcreative.co.uk

CALM

CONTENTS

GREETINGS.

MANifesto ..................................................... 5.

CALM at Secret Garden Party........................ 6.

Inner Life: Dave Chawner.............................. 8.

Tattoos, Taboos & Acceptance......................10.

Living The Dream, Lonely As Hell .................12.

INTERVIEW: Young Fathers............................14.

ART SHOW: Andrew Barron............................17.

Topman’s Big Day Out With Slaves................20.

CALM meets Strangers In Paradise ..............22.

Ambassador’s Reception ............................. 25.

Mister Mumbles............................................. 26.

Chris Sav’s Disappointman........................... 29.

Why Are We Afraid To Feel?.......................... 30.

The Rant ....................................................... 32.

Dear Josh....................................................... 34.

We hate to say it, but summer’s over, folks, it’s been a blast. As we stare out of the rain soaked window of CALM Towers, it’s clear that autumn has well and truly landed, but what better way to brush off the rainy day blues than getting your head firmly stuck in the brand new issue of CALMzine? There IS no better way.

TRUFACT. We’ve completely spoilt you this time round too, with Alloysious from Mercury Prize winning Young Fathers keeping it cool, comedian Dave Chawner on his battle with anorexia and we introduce Harrogate rockers Strangers in Paradise to the world. As if that wasn’t enough our resident dandy Mister Mumbles gets poetic on our arses, Chris Owen’s Rant goes off on one and Dear Josh solves our ills with his pop wisdom. What on earth would you do without us, eh? You’d be bored out of your brain, that’s what. So stick your slippers on, grab a hot cup of cocoa and get your read on. All the smart kidz are doing it…

Need Help? Call CALM. London: 0808 802 58 58 Nationwide: 0800 58 58 58.

Webchat: thecalmzone.net/get-help Open 7 days a week 5pm - midnight Want to advertise with us?

Email editor@thecalmzone.net CALMzine is printed on paper from sustainably managed sources. Printed by Symbian Print Intelligence, paper from Gould International UK.

CREDITS EDITOR: Rachel Clare DESIGNER: Silvina De Vita COVER ART: Andrew Barron MENTOR EXTRAORDINAIRE: Kevin Braddock VAN DRIVER’S ASSISTANT: Bríd McKeown MISS MONEY PENNY: Celia Clark EL PRESIDENTE: Jane Powell Contributors: James Cartwright, Georgia Kuhn, Rachel Clare, Chris Owen, Chris Sav, Joshua Idehen, Hannah Goodwin, Mister Mumbles, Dave Chawner, Shane O’Brien, Robin Le Riche, Andrew Barron, Daniel Edmond.

Special thanks to Topman and JC Decaux for your ongoing support, and to Kevin Braddock for your help and guidance.

CALMzine is the first port of call for all your manspiration needs. We all have issues at the end of the day, so what do you want to talk about? Who do you want us to talk to? We want to hear from YOU. Email us your ideas and views at editor@thecalmzone.net.If you want the hard stuff, go to the CALM website: www.thecalmzone.net or follow us on twitter @CALMzine thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

3

MANIFESTO!

“

By Majestic.

I am a man,

and sometimes I have needs and sometimes I can be sensitive, and I talk to my friends in those moments. But sometimes my friends aren’t around.

So, rather thank bottling it up and just carrying on with your day, going on Facebook and putting your status as ‘Everything is OK’,

why not talk to someone?

You can speak to

CALM.

Think anonymous, free, confidential.

No one needs to know what you’re feeling apart from the other person at the end of the phone, call them today. Don’t delay.

”

THE SILENCE IS KILLING US.

No more.

GET HELP

www.thecalmzone.net/ get-help

CALM

SECRET G AR PARTY 20 DEN 15

Photos: Hannah Goodwin

My name’s Dave and I’m a comedian. If you haven’t heard of me, don’t worry….no one else has either!

I’m just a stand up comic and last year I went on tour with a comedy show about how I have anorexia.

I wasn’t poking fun or take the mick, I was trying to use comedy to get people talking about more taboo topics. People say laughter’s a great medicine, I think it’s an even better antidote. Comedy has a unique way of reaching people. It makes things less intimidating and more fun. We wanted to use that to help break the stigma toward eating disorders, mental health and taboo topics (‘We’ being me and Robyn Perkins - an incredible comic, and a very good friend of mine).

In the show I explained how I slipped into anorexia - it wasn’t a decision, vanity or attention seeking. It was an addiction and an obsession. It was a game I played. A game that I loved - I loved the buzz of losing weight, restricting food and exercising. I loved the sensation of feeling lithe, waif-like and emaciated. I loved it so much I didn’t realise I had a problem. I didn’t realise I was anorexic. I didn’t look like the people in magazines, I hadn’t collapsed or torn my hair out. I was waiting for my breaking point. I was holding off until I felt ‘ill enough’ to seek help.

There were loads of reasons why I never sought help. Anorexia had become a part of me, it’d always been there for nearly a decade. I didn’t know where anorexia ended and I began. I didn’t realise how much it’d taken over. It was like a long-term break up, being told I was adopted or I’d never be able to walk again. It had become my identity. I was

8

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

Anore Come xia, d & Me. y

R E N N I LIFE

By Da ve Ch awner

never cool, or sporty, or popular at school. It gave me something I could ‘be’. I was also terrified I didn’t fit the criteria // for being anorexic; that I’d be told I IT’S EASY TO was a fraud and laughed out of the TAKE LIFE GP surgery. I was worried people TOO would think I was making some- SERIOUSLY thing out of nothing, that it was atWITHOUT tention seeking.

REALISING.

//

Over time I began to change. I wasn’t feeding my brain. It was like trying to use a laptop without any charge. The anorexia stopped my body releasing enough testosterone so I became camp and feminine. Then it muddled about with my thyroid so I was always freezing (I’m the only tourist to wear a jumper and jeans in the Sahara).

The people around me and people I met were great, but they didn’t know what to say. Everyone kept telling me I was ‘brave’ for talking about eating disorders. They were wrong, I wasn’t brave. I wasn’t a CIA Field Agent, footsoldier or policeman. I didn’t have to diffuse bombs, negotiate with terrorists or fight fires (although I would love to have a go in a fire engine!). I just stood in front of people and did some talking ‘n that. I wasn’t brave because I never sought help.

People said they were there if I needed them. The problem was, I didn’t know what I needed them for.

I couldn’t find the words to describe how I felt. Being anorexic had become my normality, like a song

always playing in the background. When you feel like you’re being sucked into the ground with fear, intimidation and isolation you’re not the most sociable person in the world. I hid inside myself. I stopped replying to messages, texts and emails. I wanted to be high-energy and fun. So, when I had to go out I played along at life. I became a character rather than a person. My ego, pride and self preservation meant I didn’t want to let people know how shit I was feeling.

On 11th August last year Robin Williams took his life. It shocked me. It dawned on me how low I’d been consistently feeling. I was waiting for something to break. Reading the news of Robin Williams made me realise where that lead you.

I plucked up the courage to go to the GP. They didn’t laugh me out of the hospital. Instead they diagnosed me as severely clinically anorexic. That had lead to my depression. I was put on immediate treatment and began an intensive 20 course of therapy.

I’m going through therapy at the moment (it’s amazing - an hour each week to talk about myself -heaven!). It’s thrown up a lot of problems I never realised I had. After all the brain’s like a muscle, so you’re bound to get a few injuries along the way. No one escapes life unscathed, we’ve all got our own shit.

It’s easy to take life too seriously without realising, which is why it is so important to enjoy the fun stuff. www.davechawner.co.uk

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

9

I will just give you a brief introduction: I am a male, tattooed, pierced and qualified childcare worker and have been for the last 10 years. I suffer from an anxiety disorder and social awk// wardness. Because of this I find it difficult to express myself verbally or vocalise my inner PREJUDICE IS A feelings, so for me tattoos are, and always have been, a form of self-expression; an outer disLEARNED TRAIT. play of my internal self for want of a better description. Do I suffer from anxiety before getting YOU’RE NOT tattooed? Yes, every single time - the whole process, from prior to booking to long after I have BORN PREJUleft the studio. To be fair, in general my anxiety behaves like a psychological allergy to any DICED, YOU’RE given situation involving uncertainty, often conjuring up a plethora of “what if” scenarios and TAUGHT IT. catastrophising things before they actually happen. Ultimately, however, my tattoos protectively // serve as a permanent reminder that I can overcome the all-consuming thoughts and fears in my mind, and Along with many others, I personally believe it is imporeven though I suffer from mental health issues I can tant for children to see a childcare setting representing a still find ways to express myself and feel comfortable cross-section of society reflecting the cultural landscape in my own skin. we live in today. In a work environment such as childcare where we are increasingly focused on diversity and incluAlthough there are many stigmas attached to men in sion, how are we expected to teach children it’s okay to the childcare profession, and undoubtedly more imbe different if at the same time we censor them from peoprovements need to be made by employers to create ple whose appearance differentiates from that perceived mental health-friendly workplaces, on this occasion I norm? I understand that some parents and children may have decided to write a piece focusing on the acceptfind tattoos intimidating, but these are the exact views and ance of tattoos in the workplace, and in particular barriers that we need to be breaking down. In society peothe nursery setting. ple make personal choices and modify their appearance in a number of ways, for example by wearing make-up, fake “A decade ago, it was estimated that one in eight of all Brittan, cosmetic surgery, hair extensions. However, they’re ish adults had been inked. In 2010 it was estimated this generally not considered discriminatory factors at work. had increased to a fifth of all adults having at least one Although tattoos may be seen from an alternative viewtattoo, and now it is estimated that at least a third of all Britpoint and not always typical of western culture’s standardish adults have gone under the needle.”- The International ised vision of physical attractiveness, getting tattooed is a London Tattoo Convention, Sept 2015 personal choice and just another form of modification, one which many believe to be beautiful.

10

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

Tattoos, Taboos & Acceptance Words by Robin Le Riche

We should be striving towards a society where people are judged by their actions not their appearance, but so often out-dated negative associations towards heavily tattooed people takes precedence.

I always try to be friendly, nurturing and attentive in my role, as I am aware I may be responsible for how many children in my care will view and perceive other tattooed people they may meet throughout their lives. In society it is important we value our differences and recognise that diversity; inclusion is crucial for social unity and makes our communities and workforces stronger.

Physical appearance should bear no authority on whether somebody is a good role model, and an employee’s actions and work ethic should be the deciding factor when it comes to employment. Having visible tattoos does not make me any less responsible than a non-tattooed employee. If I can at least play a small part in helping future generations develop positive attitudes and value each other’s differences while I’m here, then that is more important to me than anything else. I read a quote the other day: ‘Prejudice is a learned trait. You’re not born prejudiced, you’re taught it.’ And that is absolutely Of course the bottom line lies at the discretion of true. Children know nothing of hatred, intolerance, management, and understandably if somebody has bigotry, stigma and prejudice. For the first and most a swastika tattooed on their face it is a good indicaimportant formative years of their life, all they know is tor they have made some pretty fucking poor lifestyle what we teach them. and political choices in the past, but in a general sense with non-offensive tattoos it would be pleasing to On a positive note many employers are losing this see more employers moving forward with changing cookie cutter mentality of how their workers should times, evolving and in turn preventing them from look, and instead see body art as a sign of individulosing out on beneficial employees due to archaic alism, inventiveness and placing trust that tattooed stereotypes of tattoos. So if you are inclined to fall applicants will incorporate that creative style and into the trap of stereotypes, next time you see someimagination into the workplace with them. For examone heavily illustrated, and think freak or conjure up ple, Starbucks, the largest coffee retailer in the world, images of jail and youthful delinquency, you could have relaxed their policies now allowing employees to just be looking at a childcare worker, paramedic, orexhibit their tattoos and views body art and piercings gan donor, charity worker, carer and always bear in as something that makes a worker more interesting, mind that there is guaranteed to be a clean cut CEO genuine, and a definite plus. or politician in a three-piece suit out there with much more destructive habits than somebody with a passion for body art. thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

11

LIVING THE DR lonely as hell I found out very quickly that as soon as I told people I was in a band, their tone of voice would go from ‘I mildly care about what you’re saying’ to ‘Oh REALLY?’

eight months in Los Angeles during that time. This, for me, was the real turning point.

So yes, I was in a band for five years, up until February 2015 when I finally plucked up the courage to leave.

After studying Popular Music and Performance Art at University (whilst of course divulging in the stereotypical student lifestyle of booze, wasting money on booze, dancing whilst drinking booze, and playing ping pong…with booze), I left in 2010 with an arguably useless degree. I still, to this day, don’t know how I achieved that.

Many people fail to understand why or how someone can be depressed after being given such an amazing opportunity to ‘live the dream’. I do not for one second regret anything I’ve done in my life and am eternally grateful for the crazy times I had whilst in music. We toured the world, moved to LA, met famous idiots (including Jedward – one of whom was lovely, the other was total dickhead), went to Grammys parties, headlined festivals in eastern Europe, drunk free beer, partied with countless girls, worked our arses off, met many fantastic people amongst countless other things. The best part of being in a band, however, was the performance. I can honestly say there isn’t a drug, a girl, a feeling out there that can match the buzz you get whilst on stage. It’s a unique and heady mix of sheer joy, adrenaline and power. Believe it or not, we were good boys and never took drugs, though I do understand why people do. They constantly search for that feeling, chasing that high – and as soon as it starts to dwindle, they try another vice. I get it. But we didn’t do that. We were a ‘maybe have the one whiskey before the gig, then after, do as you will (but you’re driving tomorrow so don’t be hungover)’ kind of band. It worked though - it meant we were always on our game, and to be honest, we didn’t have the time to fuck about. We drove for 16 hours straight across Europe sometimes, and you simply can’t do that on a hangover/comedown.

I was fortunate enough to join the band straight after I left. Where most of my fellow university pals ended up moving back home, living in their old bedrooms under their Superman duvets, I moved into a dingy, dark house in Manchester with the two other guys from the band. We were a three-piece, and with a three-piece, there was either two against one, or all for one when it came to decision making. Think of it as a bizarre, platonic, three-way relationship, if you will, because that’s pretty much what is was… a relationship. They relied on me, I relied on them. We compromised. We disagreed. We laughed. We cried. To begin with, I looked up to them as role models - they had been in the band since leaving school, whereas that lifestyle was new to me. Whilst on the dole we wrote music, listened to the dulcet tones of our [then] LA manager speak of the meetings he’s had about us in the music capital of the world, while we rotted and starved in the mouldridden house. We clung on these words of hope for the entire five years of my time with the band, using it as fuel to carry on writing. We went on to spend a total of

12

By Charlie

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

//

DEPRESSION CAN AFFECT ANYONE, ANYWHERE, AT ANYTIME. IT IS NOT A WEAKNESS, IT IS AN ILLNESS

//

REAM, So why then, living a life many only dream of, was I depressed? Why was I feeling this way?

The answer is simple: I was lonely. I’ve since learnt that loneliness is my biggest fear. Although I lived with the band, worked with them, gigged with them, practically did everything with them, I felt alone. While living in LA – I mean, this was Hollywood, for Christ’s sake – I’d never felt so lonely. It was my last trip there in 2013 that really pushed me over the edge.

I came home, and I was a different person. I couldn’t function. I needed help.

And help I got. Fast-forward two years and here I am - a graphic designer living in the North West of England.

I’m still on medication, because I don’t feel ready to come off them yet, and there’s nothing wrong with that. At first it was a race to get happy, to be free of the reliance of synthetic drugs to make me feel sane, but something I learnt (from my own mother) is that – who gives a shit? If I’m not ready, I’m not ready.

What’s the point of me telling you all this? It is simply to say that depression can affect anyone, anywhere, at anytime. It is not a weakness, it is an illness. Just as you would treat an open wound, the mind must be treated too. Understanding it is something that took me a while, with the help of my family and partner at the time. Throughout my childhood & adulthood, many members of my immediate family, and family further afield, suffered from depression. Some still do, in fact. With a gentle push from my loved ones, I went to see the doc. I was nervous, worried, scared - all the feelings you’d expect before telling a complete stranger your innermost demons. With some discussion, he

put me on mild antidepressants, and popped me on the gargantuan list to receive counselling. It in fact only took a month or so to start, and the counsellor (let’s call her Mrs J – simply because I can’t remember her damn name) was brilliant at getting all the shit out of me – all the stuff I didn’t feel comfortable telling others. It was a similar feeling to releasing that piss you’ve needed for five hours, holding it in because you were late for the ferry crossing and didn’t have the time to stop on the motorway.

Essentially, the overarching truth is that depression is a great leveller. It doesn’t matter who you are. Anyone can experience depression in the same way that anyone can catch a cold or break a leg. Beating yourself up for feeling down when you have all you could ever ask for is like questioning how you could have possibly caught pneumonia when you have such a happy home life or great job. It’s ludicrous. So, I guess my message to you, dear reader, is if you are feeling like shit, go and ask someone for help. You don’t have to feel guilty or that you don’t deserve to receive support, just go and talk to someone. It could save your life.

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

13

CALM INTERVIEW:

YOUNG

FATHERS WORDS: James Cartwright

Words: James Cartwright

Young Fathers’ Alloysious Massaquoi on being human, being honest and being into Enya (yes, Enya) In the year since Young Fathers won the Mercury Prize for their debut album Dead, a lot has been written about them. Most of it goes like this: Young Fathers make a sort of Pop/Hip Hop hybrid, Young Fathers are politically outspoken, Young Fathers are confrontational and rude.

None of these statements are true though.

Young Fathers don’t make Hip Hop, but two of them are black, which seemed to cause a lot of confusion about how to classify them sonically.

Young Fathers are not politically outspoken, but they have used the multitude of interviews they’ve conducted to talk about subjects more diverse than most pop stars in the limelight.

Young Fathers aren’t confrontational or rude; in fact they come across shy and softly-spoken, and even though I’m only scheduled to interview one of them, all three politely introduce themselves when we meet in a Dalston jazz club. So what’s all the fuss been about then?

“I think nobody expected us to win the Mercurys,” says Alloysious Massaquoi, the one I’m here to meet, “so all of a sudden these journalists had to come up with questions that they hadn’t prepared for because they thought FKA Twigs was gonna get it. And then here’s some obscure band from Scotland who’ve actually won…” The hurried questions were met with indifferent answers, and the boys refused to speak to any right-leaning newspapers after their big win, immediately cementing their reputation as a controversial new act.

“But we’re not controversial,” says Ally. “Look up the word! What does it mean? All we’re doing is disagreeing with what the media says society is like.”

Ally and his bandmates grew up in Edinburgh, but only one of them, Graham ‘G’ Hastings, is Scottish born and bred. Ally emigrated from Liberia with his mother at a young age and Kayus Bankole is of Nigerian descent, raised between the UK and USA. They cut their teeth in a rough part of town where “there weren’t a lot of black

folk” and have always considered themselves outsiders. It was only through their mutual love of music, and dancing in particular, that the trio found their niche in their early teens – they met at an under-16s night at the local Bongo Club – and have been recording together ever since.

Their early music was basic; a // mishmash of lo-fi beats cobWE’RE NOT bled together on cheap softCONTOVERware, over-dubbed with singSIAL. ALL ing and spoken word vocals laid down in a bedroom wardWE’RE DOING robe. It was far from groundIS DISAGREEbreaking stuff, but there was ING WITH enough promise in it to keep WHAT THE them working together for the MEDIA SAYS next 13 years. “You do it so SOCIETY IS long that it becomes easier to LIKE. get where you want to get,” // says Ally. “You understand what you need to do to get a certain sound and you become aware of what works and what doesn’t – you fine tune it. We’ve been doing this since we were 14 so we’ve been through all the different processes of how to record and the proper way to do it.”

Now their music is much more polished, not just because of higher production values, and references everything from R&B and Afrobeat to Rock and Industrial. There are comparisons to be made with bands like TV On The Radio and Death Grips, but equally with Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! and Sunset Rubdown. It’s hard to define; so much so that Gareth Gates recently said their Glastonbury performance “… offended me… It’s shit.” Not that the boys will mind – Gareth, and musicians like him, seem to be the thing that upsets them the most.

“The whole industry is playing it safe. It’s all: ‘you can’t say that, it’s bad for business!’ We’re living in a climate that’s all about getting rich and getting your money and not giving a fuck about anyone else, so when you get a group like us who are honest about stuff and say important things in a pop song, people automatically say we’re political. But I’m just as political as the next person walking down the street. I don’t want to listen to political songs 24/7. I’m a human being.”

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

15

What he does want to listen to is as varied as his own output, and much of his musical inspiration comes from his mother. Ally’s mum is a born-again Christian, the kind who worships in a church where music is central to the experience, and her tastes have impacted on her son’s. “I think most people in Africa have some form of religious background – strong faith is probably a better word – and it’s tied into music. My mum had varied taste musically, right down to traditional African stuff that she’d play all the time.

But she was always open to stuff if it sounded good and made her move.

“There was a lot of soul records and classics like Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder. There was the Rolling Stones, there was Enya. To be honest there were some Enya songs that I used to listen to when I was going to sleep and I’d envisage all these amazing worlds. Her voice took me places that were quite haunting. It was sad and melancholic.”

Talking about Enya with Ally sums up why the mainstream press have probably found Young Fathers a difficult band to handle. Here’s a 6”5 black man with a thick, deep Edinburgh accent discussing the ethereal qualities of a celtic songstress who was big in the Eighties. He’s a huge, masculine bloke with an intimidating stage presence and lyrics full of anger, but he’s happy to discuss childhood emotions with a complete stranger. This is a quality that seems to suggest his need to kick against conformity. “If you look at the media and how it portrays muslims or

16

photos: Georgia Kuhn

blacks, they label everyone. You’re in this particular group and all the negative associations that come with that are on you. You ARE this type of person. And that’s something that I’d like to try to combat and help eradicate.”

He’s not finished yet: “If you think about music and social media and everything that people consume, things are very instant. And kids are growing up really fast – who is the voice of reason, who are the role models? Folk on The Only Way Is Essex? For fuck’s sake, that’s impacting on people’s lives. It’s making everyone shallow.

But that’s the climate we live in: Get what you can by any means necessary and don’t worry about anyone else. Make as much money as you can because that’ll make you happy.”

Or, he seems to be saying, doing something completely different.

The album ‘White Men Are Black Men Too’ is out now On Big Dada. www.young-fathers.com

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

I’m a cartoonist & illustrator based in South East London - I like working with clean lines and bold colours.

I self publish my own comic series called ‘Om’ - a set of wordless short stories following the (mis)adventures of the eponymous character, Om. You can check out all of my comics over on my website, or pick them up in print from my online shop.

Web - andyillustrates.com Blog - andyillustrates.tumblr.com Shop - andyillustrates.bigcartel.com Twitter - @omcomics Email - om@andyillustrates.com

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

17

18

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

A Big Day Out With Slaves Topman go bowling, gaming and slushy drinking with the up-and-coming primal duo

“More coins please, Daddy,” guitarist Laure Vincent says to us, wanting another handful of tens for the fluorescent penny pushers. He pushes them in, nothing comes out. More change is handed over. We feel weird about being called Daddy. It’s a random, dishevelled venue, but Rowan’s Arcade in Finsbury Park, London, is the perfect place for a highly energetic band like Slaves with its retro bowling alley, battered arcade games and boozy slushies. We decided to let Slaves loose in it and quiz them while they were at it.

Here’s what happened…

Words by Jamie Carson Photography by Shane Deegan

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

Laurie: Odeon. It was horrible. They sacked me for not selling enough membership cards. Maidstone Odeon, f**k you! Cineworld’s better.

What’s been your weirdest fan encounter?

Isaac: We’ve had scotch eggs thrown on stage before.

“ Having a third member is like having a threesome”

Drenge recently added a third member.

Would you consider doing that for the next record?

Laurie: Having a third member is like saying to your girlfriend, “let’s have a threesome.” And after you do it you’re more jealous because you saw someone with your missus. If we got another member, it’d be that exact thing. If I came to the studio and Isaac had written a song with a new band member, it’d be like your missus betraying you.

You’ve been hanging round with grime star Skepta recently. What’s that all about?

Isaac: We’ve been exploring some new musical avenues and spending some time together.

He’s a lovely bloke and…yeah…maybe something will come of it.

Read the full interview at Topman.com

CALM MEETS:

Words: Rachel Clare Photos: Steve Tomlinson Formed in 2012, Strangers In Paradise (SIP) are a powerful three piece from Yorkshire. Mixing big rock riffs with soul, rap & hip hop, SIP have been hailed as Harrogate’s answer to Faith No More, and are tipped for big things, CALM caught up with them and their recent collaborator Tre to talk influences, dream tours and the track that makes everything better…

Hailing from a town better known for it’s spa water than rock music, who were your musical influences growing up?

Steve Mosby: Brit Pop was just kicking off when I went to secondary school, so the bands that turned me on to music were probably Ocean Colour Scene and [Paul] Weller, and then I went back through the years from there: The Beatles, Stone Roses, Led Zeppelin, Dire Straits. I’m a big Queen fan – they were the first band I ever got into. Then there was the R n B thing coming in the late 90s, as well as Tupac and Public Enemy. Big fan.

Andy Mosby: Metallica are the reason I first picked up a bass guitar, and are still a massive influence today. Also Red Hot Chili Peppers – their bassist Flea is amazing.

Andy Schofield: Earlier on for me it was probably System of a Down, then Red Hot

Chili Peppers and Metallica too. Basically if any bands are good at what they do, in any genre, then you can bring it into your own music.

Describing Strangers In Paradise’s sound is tricky. On ‘The Weight of Possibility EP’, each song sounds very different in it’s own way.

One minute it’s RnB and hip hop influenced and then you’ve got a harder rock sound coming through. How would you describe your sound?

SM: We spent so long in bands doing the standard Oasis style four chords we got bored. Listen to Bohemian Rhapsody - it’s seven songs in one! I can’t stress enough how important [collaborators] Tre and Soul Deep are to our sound – their influence is massive.

They’ve turned us onto stuff we would never have thought of, and their way of producing and writing has had an effect on the way we work too. Style wise I’d describe us as alternative rock, but we do like to mix it up.

AM: Nowadays there a lot of music that’s too safe – people find a formula and stick to it, but we don’t want to be safe. We want to rip up the rulebook – who says a reggae beat can’t be next to a heavy metal riff? We pride ourselves on the fact that we are different.

22 thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

How did the collaboration with MC Tre & singer Soul Deep come about?

SM: I was working in a mobile phone shop and Tre used to come in every Sunday saying he’d lost his phone, or it had been nicked or broken.

One day he turned up with a CD and said ’listen to this’, so I put it on in the shop and really liked it. When Strangers In Paradise were first formed we called him up. Soul Deep is a friend of Tre’s so he got involved that way. With Down Time [the track ft Tre & Soul Deep] we had the chorus for ages but couldn’t think of a verse. Soul jammed something at a rehearsal, which I happened to record and we put them together - it really worked.

It seems to be a really fruitful collaboration…

SM: Yeah, they’re good lads, amazing musicians and very open to new ideas.

Tre: That’s what allowed me to feel so comfortable around them - the first jam we ever did, the energy and the open-mindedness, allowed us to flow really easily. Within twenty minutes we had the track down. They’re always up for making something new and they’re really passionate about what they do. It’s a pleasure to work with them.

Your live performance has been described as ‘experimental and focused’ and you’re clearly comfortable // playing together on stage. Do you IT’S IMPORTANT prefer playing live or recording the FOR PEOPLE studio?

TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES SM: I do like the studio, but our THROUGH sound works so well live that I’m SONG – EVEN more comfortable performing our IF THEY THINK stuff in front of people nowadays. THEY CAN’T, IT’S GOOD TO TRY. AM: Playing live is the pinnacle // of being in a band for me, and our sound suits a live setting. Playing local festivals where a lot of bands play cover songs, we turn up and play our own stuff, so evoking a reaction in the crowd is priceless.

Best gig you’ve played as a band?

AM: We did a festival a few weeks a go called Staxonbury, which was great. We’d played there the year before and were invited back to play the main stage this year. It went down really well. We said to the crowd that we would be handing out CDs afterwards, and were expecting a couple of people, but there was a queue, which was a massive compliment!

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

23

they can’t, it’s good to try. It’s a good tool for expression and it helps a lot. I felt a real release writing Down Time and hope people can relate to it.

AM: It’s escapism too. Whether you’re jamming on your own, recording in the studio, or playing a gig, whatever’s going on in your life, your problems disappear during that time.

AS: It’s really difficult to say. We do some really tiny gigs at less significant venues but as long as the energy and the people are there, then that’s what counts.

Who would be your dream band to tour with?

SM: I had the fortune of meeting Johnny Marr recently, and I would love to go on tour with him. I met him at a gig and spoke to him for about 20 minutes about guitars, and he gave me tips on what strings to use. So down to earth.

AM: Thirty Seconds To Mars would be one of my favourites. Jared Leto is an inspiration to me – he works so hard. Also touring with Metallica would be AMAZING. At CALM we encourage men to talk about their issues and express themselves in whichever way works best for them. Do you find it easier to express yourself through lyrics rather than face to face?

SM: I personally think it’s easier to get stuff out in songs. You might not want to, but it often just happens that way. Look at people like John Lennon - he was really honest in his songs, it’s cathartic – it’s good to get that stuff out there.

Tre: It’s important for people to express themselves through song – even if they think

Do you have a track that is guaranteed to make a bad day better?

SM: Recently for me it’s been Atmosphere

by Joy Division, strangely. It’s a dark track, but when the guitar comes in at the end it’s amazing.

AM: Closer To The Edge by Thirty Seconds to Mars. It’s a really upbeat song and makes be happy when I listen to it – so whether I want to get out of a bad mood, or if I’m happy and want to extend my good day, I listen to that song.

T: 2Pac – Until The End Of Time. One of my favourites.

AS: Anything with proper drums. I’m a big air drummer, so I like a good intro to drum along to and forget about everything else.

So what’s next for Strangers In Paradise?

SM: We’re looking to do an album, but record it quite slowly. I’m getting married at the end of the month, so that’s my next thing. After that it’s back to the studio, back to gigging and building up a fanbase and eventually do the band full time!

AM: Yep, that’s the dream!

Weight of Possibility EP is out now on iTunes @s_i_p_music ww.strangerinparadise.co.uk

24 thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

AMBASSADOR’S

RECEPTION:

Daniel Edmund At CALM we have a merry band of men and women who are proud to call themselves Ambassadors for the Campaign Against Living Miserably, and here’s a chance for you to get to know them better. Reveal yourself…Milk For Tea’s Daniel Edmund Tell us a bit about yourself and what you’ve been up to…

My name is Daniel Edmund, I’m a BritishAmerican currently living in Bristol. I run a company called Milk for Tea which is a business aimed at the modern gentleman to promote a holistic and balanced approach to living. By using various influential mediums such as sports, fashion, culture, music, media and art, I strive to help men live in excellence while endeavouring to do so myself.

So why CALM? I’m very interested in CALM because I feel that there are very few sources that men can access to get the help they need. Male suicide and the feelings that can lead to it are massive issues within our community that rarely get addressed. What the team at CALM are doing is a beautiful and much needed thing, and I’m honoured to be able to work with them in this capacity.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?

The best advice I’ve been given is to always believe in yourself and trust your gut.

What is your one rule for living life?

My one rule for living life is to put God first. www.milkfortea.com

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

25

MISTER MUMBLES’ Meaty Emissions

Of late, Missus Mumbles has developed a penchant for boiling up steaming great vats of beef bone broth. Although it makes our living quarters smell akin to a charnel house in the height of summer, Missus Mumbles’ broth-brewing shenanigans have led me to the joyful discovery of a new and sublime foodstuff – bone marrow jelly.

I could spend all day singing the praises of this miraculous, irreversibly hydrolyzed form of beef-flavoured collagen but no.

I will not do that. I have better things to do with my time (I’m due at a croquet tournament in little under an hour). So instead, please find attached a short ode I’ve penned to the most sublime savory delicacy in existence. To bastardise the infamous lyrics of Destiny’s Child, “I actually DO think you’re ready for this jelly” – so let us begin:

26 thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

Salami, pastrami, a slice of parma ham Pepperoni, baloney, a lovely rack of lamb Beef steaks, beef cakes, tenderloin too Beef shanks, beef flanks, ooh – they’re smashing in a stew Ribeyes, duck thighs, a length of oxtail A lightly braised, honey glazed, pan-fried quail Cold turkey, bison jerky, bacon cut thick Pork chops, escalopes, a humble drumstick Meat!

Meat!

It’s my second favourite treat I’ll eat up every bit of it Be it snout, or jowl, or teat But what I like the best of all Is neither brisket, back nor belly It’s not the leg It’ s not the breast No – it’s the wholesome marrow jelly!

Inside each bone it sits alone, on an osseous-tissue throne Waiting solidly To be freed by me With many a pleasured moan See To liberate its jellied state, the marrow needs preparing: “Clean bones of meat – season then heat Til the stench is overbearing” While they gelatinate I salivate Impatient for a taste At the oven’s ping, I drop everything And remove my bounty with great haste As bone meets lips, hot jelly drips And marrow starts to pour I suck it out, and with a terrible shout Cry “I’VE BURNT MY TONGUE ONCE MORE!” For more meaty emissions from Mister Mumbles, why not seek him out on the instagram social media networking platform: @Mumbellini

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

27

Disappointman by Chris Sav

#MANDICTIONARY BEER MATS

Coming to a pub near you soon‌

thecalmzone.net/mandictionary

Why Are We Afraid To Feel?

On the problem of being the strong, silent type, and the bigger issue it obscures.

Words: Shane O’Brien

Time waits for no man, with time comes change.

Cultures, popular opinions and technology have changed with time, some advancing beyond the realms of what was thought possible, but gender roles still exist and some outdated ideas live on today. One old mindset had it that men were tough, durable and immune to emotion, tears and spirituality. We worked hard all day with our hands to put the food on the table.

This perception has changed, but not completely. Men may not be expected to work with their hands and be grizzled, breadwinning lumberjacks, but the idea that we should be stone-faced when confronted with our feelings is very much alive. In my opinion it is absolutely crucial to good mental health to share experiences and worries among the people you’re close to – gaining the perspectives of others can help feel like the load has been lightened. Yet this is not what happens for many men, perhaps because letting somebody in on their weaknesses feels like vulnerability: something that could be used against us.

In my experience, opening up was simply hard to do just because it was something I grew up knowing I “shouldn’t” do. We still live in times where it is not a man’s socially-prescribed role to engage with deep and complex emotions, in times where it is unthinkable to cry in front of your peers in fear of being seen as weak, and where being depressed can be a death sentence because we feel trapped and conflicted, conforming with public opinion even when it’s killing us. But in the words of Bob Dylan, the times they are a changin’.

We’ve put a man on the moon, abolished slavery, fought segregation and fascism, and gone to war because we believed in what was right – history proves we have never been scared

30 thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

of doing the right thing, so why are we scared to feel? Why are we scared to open up to our closest friends? Why are we scared of being seen as weak – hell, why does any man see another man as weak for having emotions?

Personally, I feel it’s because we learn from a very young age what is for boys and what is for girls.

I was always conditioned by my peers and some TV that crying meant you were “a girl” and having feelings was stupid; my place as a male was to be a powerhouse of emotionlessness. Could it possibly be that as a society we have an outdated cultural identification that some are even proud of? Being a “Lad” has been all the rage for some time, a mode which involves dressing a particular way, liking house music, having ‘banter’ and being blokey – I mean, can you imagine trying to open up to a group of lads, mid-Fifa session?

I quizzed a couple of friends about opening up and what factors come into play when faced with the topic of socially accepting your problems and weaknesses. Do they feel that outside pressures affecting their openness about feelings? One friend said, “the main point of pressure for me would be that as a young adult male, it can sometimes be daunting to open up to older people, perhaps because I feel that there is a stigma upon young people as a whole.”

That view resonated with me: many of the reinforced ideas of gender are passed on by the generation before us – among some older men, opening up and being in touch with their feelings just isn’t the “proper” thing to do. I spoke to my dad about this and he said that when he was younger, the only time he’d ever seen any of the men in his family cry was at his mother’s funeral. Where he came from it just wasn’t comfortable to be a man and express feelings. There’s a divide between older generations and us.

Some values die hard and some stick with you for life. I’ve always felt it easier to speak to people my age because our generation, while not totally tolerant of male emotionalism, has come on in leaps and bounds. I can only hope that with time comes even more progress. The differences between mine and my dad’s cultural background is the same as his and his dad’s – change happens and with compassion, hard work and expression, the positive change we all want to see will come.

I asked another friend about which difficulties, specific to your gender, do you think impact your life? His response was: “I try to avoid thinking about the difficulties of being a young male because the unfortunate truth is, being a young male gives me a lot more opportunities than being a female.

I don’t think that is fair and I do consider myself something of a feminist. That being said, I do feel that there is a certain expectation assigned to being male in terms of what’s considered a ‘manly’ job – more hands-on/manual labour jobs, although that could also be attributed to my working class background as opposed to my gender”.

This old idea of “manly” jobs… actually, plenty of laughs were had at my expense by old friends who discovered I was studying writing and gaming while my girlfriend was studying bodywork on cars and welding. In this day and age it shouldn’t really be funny, even though it is, a bit.

In the end, while there are taboos that are harmful to men, I personally can’t really get too hung up: I am grateful for all I have and I am just really lucky I am what I am, and in any case, the bigger question isn’t about men and women, but about having a fair and equal society where gender, religion and creed mean less than simply being human, a respecting everything that means. That’s probably what we should really be talking about.

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

31

THE RANT

By Chris Owen

Now, I appreciate this particular rant is not necessarily a new thing, (especially for anyone who follows me on Twitter), but I just can’t let this one go. It should be such a simple, easy-to-conform-to concept that I still find it bewildering that so many people get it so ear-splittingly wrong. I speak of the hallowed ‘quiet carriage’ – a concept that is illustrated clearly on many a train throughout the UK, but which an alarming number of the British public still find time to not bother about.

I don’t get it. It’s so simple it almost doesn’t need the signs that helpfully point out what constitutes ‘noise’ (i.e. the opposite of quiet); namely the use of mobile phones, headphones that direct music anywhere BUT into the listener’s ear, and – above all – fucking TALKING. There are icons showing these various activities encased within a very clear circle with an angry red line through it.

That’s a red line, people, not a massive green tick saying “hell yeah, fill yer boots!”

Last week I was on a train – in the quiet carriage, of course – when a young TOWIE wannabe made the apparent conclusion that when both No Mobile AND No Talking icons appear together, they cancel each other out and allow her to do both at the same time. Loudly. I can see no other earthly reason why someone sat directly underneath the signage, would instead bang on incessantly to some equally ghastly human on the other end of her rhinestoned phone about how Pete was, like, a total, like bastard, for like, shagging her, and then, like, shagging that Tori, like, because he was, like, saying that like, she was, like, her girlfriend and everything.

The problem is, of course, that, as well as being infested with people who think the signs are for everyone else, our wondrous Isle is also home to the most passive aggressive creatures on earth. Thus, instead of getting up and telling the human klaxon to STFU, we simply sit there seething, tutting and staring out of the window trying to telepathically shame them into silence. Believe me, it never works.

Follow Chris on Twitter: @wonky_donky

32

Do you have something you want to rant about?

Send 300 words to editor@thecalmzone.net thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

ATENCIÓN! Huge muddy chest bump for the brilliant Secret Garden Party Crew, especially Mr Graham Goddard who was the glue that held it all together.

ONWARDS!

Props to Freddie Fellowes and Eddy Temple-Morris for inviting us to SGP for the 3rd year running, giving us the chance to spread the CALM love amongst the friendliest festival crowd in the UK!

Thank you to Susie Moran and the Hertfordshire Constabulary Team who successfully completed The 3 Peaks Challenge in memory of Charlie.

Thanks as always to our Volunteer Office Team: Nick, Annie, Lyndsey, Jack, Sam, Matt, Paul, Ben and Tim. Keeping the cogs turning!

Cheers to Millie Mackintosh for donating a collection of her clothes to CALM - watch this space, Millie fans!

A whopping £59,944 was raised this year by all our British 10K runners.

What a great day.

You were fantastic.

To all the event organisers, walkers, runners, swimmers, cyclers, climbers, canoers, Tough Mudders, LEJOGGERS, Spartan Racers.

We salute you!!

A massive shout out to all the Topman stores across the UK who are supporting us and have already raised over £5,000 for CALM.

A huge thanks to Andy, our volunteer British 10k coordinator, who did a sterling job this year, making it our best one yet!

Massive thanks to Corrie crew Matt, Ginge, Lisa, Alan, Andy & Sam for supporting CALM at the Tyrone, Kirk & Chesney golf day. An amazing event.

Our entirely unprofessional agony uncle offers his entirely unprofessional advice…

Q: I’m a pretty outgoing, extrovert kind of bloke but the thought of leaving home to go to university has me SHITTING myself. Any tips on how to fight the fear?

Barney, Bristol A: I had this very same problem when I moved from London to Bolton for uni. BOLTON, YOU KNOW?!

Alone in a new city can feel a bit like a Silent Hill Scenario, but not if you know the special secret. Do you want to know the special secret? Here it is: For the first week, say yes to every social event going. Do everything, sign up for the experimental poetry/death metal open mic evening. Treat Freshers Week like a towel and wipe yourself thoroughly. Failing that, just chill and say hello when you feel like it.

Q: I’ve been with my girlfriend for three years and I love her and all that, but I’ve recently gone off the old bump and grind. She’s awesome and beautiful, but for some reason the old chap just ain’t into it. How do I get my mojo back?

Chris, Manchester A: No matter what Hollywood says, the fires don’t stay lit forever. Sometimes the sergeant major doesn’t want to stand to attention. Sometimes he wants to sit down and ruminate on the horrors he has committed. I dunno where else to take that metaphor so I’ll stop right there. Maybe it might be time to explore what, other than sex, brought you to her? Or go to dancing classes. Or maybe spend more time making her happy with your other soldiers and perhaps success in that battle will prompt the sergeant to rejoin the b …- okay I’ll stop there.

II’ve had the best freakin’ summer ever, with festivals and an amazing holiday to Ibiza with my bros, but now it’s September and the fun’s over. How can I fend off the winter blues?

Charlie, Hammersmith A: It’s warm in Lisbon. Go to Lisbon.

Q: You’re a knowledgeable man well versed in the ways of the world. Explain this. I find myself wishing the summer months away, just so we can get nearer to the next series of Strictly. I am a 35 year old married man with two kids. What the flipping heck is that all about?

Baz, Nottingham A: Dude. Nothing. I’m 35 chomping at the bit for X Factor. Wait. Actually...

Why are you watching Strictly over the mighty god of X, you heathen?

Do you have a question for JOSH? Email us on editor@thecalmzone.net NOTE: Josh is not a qualified expert. He’s just a joker.

However if you do want to know some more about him, go to www.poejazzi.com

If you need professional advice, call the London CALM helpline on 0808 802 5858. or our national helpline on: 0800 585858

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

thecalmzone.net - CALMzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside london: 0800 58 58 58

35

TOPMAN.COM