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mafoo.surf | music | art | stuff issue one.

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set up. this is it.

Well here it is. The very first issue of mafoo. Thats kind of me, myself, and my. The aim of this wee publication is to showcase well me. That would be a wise point. in case. to the fruition of my fewly years over here. At Witt that is. I think i’ve learnt stuff. Nah actually I have. This is all about me. and you. you should probably give me a job. or money. whatever works best. for you. anyway back to the me part. everything in here is me. me. me. me. stuff i’ve done for class. for clients. for myself. or in short. for me. its kinda like well my portfolio i guess. But its hopefully more than that. something that will make me happy. smiley. or upside down smiley. in a few more years time. when i look back. and think. what a silly idea this was. why am i typing this. shouldn’t I be preparing for my exhibition. its getting kinda close. this seems like an elaborate waste of time. are you even reading this? really i just want to fill space here to get to the bottom margin. if i do that i think i would have really achieved something. you see i’m not a writer. this is really really hard. you might have already guessed that. i mean. these sentances are radically short. and its full of spelling mistakes and grammmatical errors. but hey thats not my job. i just really want to make this look nice. like a magazine editor would probably want to insert 497 words into this text frame. personally. i would prefer it if he or she used say. 350. I dont want my page to become cluttered. we can work it out tho. actually i should just increase the leading. maybe then. i will get to this bright pink line at the bottom. anyway. enjoy. this is my magazine. mafoo. like matthew. but with a speech impediment. sorry i’m not implying you have one. look around. excuse the banter. i just figure place holder text is not all that.

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gnar. as in gnarly

Well a little while ago. In a time when i thought i was an intrepid explorerer. i went to the land of america. well more so the coastal lands. i mean ocean. on many nights i had dreamed of this place. california. i thought i would get to name it. you know. if i discovered it. but someone had bet me too it. there was about. 473 billion million people already there. i guess i missed the boat. maybe if i set the alarm that friday morning for 7.25am. I would have had a better shot. bummed. It had already been named. turns out surfing is a popular way to waste the day over there. i counted more than five surfers. like probably seven or eight. atleast. i even saw a girl. through the wood work. it looked remarkably similar to this photo to your left. luckily i had my camera. and what is even luckier. i had read the operating manual. manuals are normally reserved for geeks and dweebs. so i dont normally read them. but. this one used helvetica on the cover. so i had no choice but to read it. my photographic memory

turned out to be. really really useful for recalling how to take photo’s this particular day. The girl about to crash into the pier and hurt it is smiling. odd. isn’t it. She is my friend ashley lloyd. she is always smiling. i know you cant see her face. you shall just trust me on this. mmkay. the following pages are pictorial delights from my camera via my worthless conquest of discovery. They feature surfboards and surfboarding paraphenalia and stuff. People over there have a funny way of talking. in particular. for instance. they have taken the ordinarily mundane activity of surfing. and. verbally jazzed it up. Americans are great salesmen. they could sell just about anything. ‘shredding the gnar’. really puts a whole new element of excitement into it dont you think? I’m really grateful i went to america. it was there i really found out i wanted to educate myself in this graphic design lark. the people i stayed with are entirely responsible for leading me to believe you can do something and enjoy it.

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Ashley Lloyd proving that girls can do anything and everything. even build & glass. finely tuned surfing sleds.

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CJ Nelson is a handy foot percher on the nose. he’s not afraid to get caught with his toes in his nose.

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He also handy hand with a spray can.

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blue dribble

I’m not really sure why this image is here. it is here. tho. on this page. its a photo i took. with my crappy camera. the one i wish was a much better camera. this is evil food dye. as opposed to happy food dye. you see. this stuff if you leave to dry. is an absolute. pain in the ass. to remove off a white expensive kitchen bench. believe me. you dont want to do this. i did this. at our flat. it is still there. to this day. underneath the new location of our toaster. i dont actually care. that much. i pay enough for my room. i didn’t intentionally do it. it was an accident. accidents happen. and stuff. well. this image has been flipped upside downside. to fool you. ha. it has been manipulated in photo shop. i kinda like it.. i hope you do too. i spose it doesn’t matter. you didn’t actually pay for this magazine. did you? nope. it was free. aye. cheapskate.

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wo man. it’s womad.

Holy cow. how about this? it is the wednesday before womad. the multi cultural pot is about to overflow. people of different tones everywhere embark upon a usually mundane city. old new plymouth. to be precise. those good for nothing surfers have done it again. pulled the cat out of the hat. so to speak.

I am about to witness a couple of songs. ridiculously long. and. radical ones. no preconceived plan. just peanut butter and jam being smeared everywhere. things are deliciously messy. cheap beer. bbq. musicians from all over the world. being themselves. i think. i wouldn’t really know. i dont actually know them. had they been in womens day. i would have felt a connection. i would have known them. they genuinely appear to be having a good time. maybe they’re actors. if so. they are they are damn good ones. much better than those retards on shortland street. i bet they cant play music like these folk. two and a half hours or so. i hear four ‘songs’. on average.thirty seven minutes. 30 seconds. apiece. people coming. people going. going with the flow. its a free for all. and it was. down on the beach. no smelly duck poo infested pond here. just the ocean. and stuff. bring on next year. please. please. please mafoo. 14

mafoo.

a nite of deep funking house

with

Matt K

mostfm

Saturday 8th August 10.30 pm til late Tune in to the most fm for eternal groove saturday nights 6-8pm 100.4FM or www.mostfm.com

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a little of themeans most music once upon another time. in a different time to when i was an intrepid exporer. In the present time. I am a dj on the most fm. 100.4 on your FM dial. the most for those of you who are not sure. is the choicest little radio station. in this land. its focus on avoiding top 40 hits. is its biggest asset. their accountant may beg to differ. but they would. wouldn’t they. if i had a boat. it would definitely float it. especially on friday and saturdays and even sundays too. actually if i had a boat i would do my show from it. pirates are neat. anyhow. the following pages are an insight into that driving electronic music that drove that old bag from next door mad. friday nights you better strap on your scuba tank. cos we goin deep. this aint no kiddies paddling pool. its the deep end. deep house. tech house & techno. oh no. nine til midnight with that guy trent from black cherry. the home of street fashion. saturday nights. oooh yeah. my show. eternal groove. the groove is eternal. i dont really talk alot on it. its about the music. i’m pretty sure people dont tune in to listen to my monotone. deep house with a bit of funk and tech house in the mix. six til eight. bought to you by 55. thanks stace. and mark. then there is our devlish cousin that not only speaks with his mouth full. but especially likes those drums and basses. and arcades. what a strange strange strange man.

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the end. deep it’s deeper than you think. like i mentioned earlier. this aint no kiddies paddling pool.this end of the pool is strictly reserved for competent swimmers only. actually it might be so deep. its reserved for whales, scuba divers and the titanic. after its mishap. not before it. dummy. its on the radio. on 100.4fm. on the most fm. from nine til eleven. every friday night. with trent and his bruv jade. they bring you. deeeeeep house in its finest form. deep. just plain deep. like it should be. to be perfectly honest. i am a little jealous of the mixer both of them have. its plain fancy. and expensive. too expensive for a poor student. this is where you offer to pay me money. to do some design work. for you. so i can become. mega rich. and buy one too. they play some freaky faecal matter on here too. stuff i would never get to play on my show. very tech. very techno. very cool. so come on kids put your floaties on. and come and jump into the deep end. hold your nose and lets sink deeeeeep. oh by the way. the guy trent to your right. he looks like a tuff punk rock guy. what. with all those tatoo’s and stuff. but dont worry. his girlfriend tells me. he draws them on every morning. so he’s really quite a nice guy. there’s no need to be afraid.

t . I’m no m afraid ont all I’ . s w e p. Bad N . they d ake it sto like 25. and no inherited it. lease m i p re t. o s r? e m n fo ich is a robably . well to be ho ong go don. wh ose ng. its p e an this s n o c s m lo g e ’t n to n n lo o o th id g n w d e ld o . v to o e h e h . d t m p a d o t y hty. Go h just h ing to u lly its n ll abou e was a d. o mig ld dj mis h. i’ve been try ctually some gu k. actua c o o in z G e lo a . k ’c g li d o a o re is 8 a G m o l . y ? m ti is d e n m s n o a k t th m u n u G ? e u a b p ? me. th told yo is will. wonder. ot goin to sto u not lik ven uses bebo ies. by me. i how to me in h s it on to . how could yo n u often e in s o s e d o a y It h h p t te s e t. n w to o e b u . z I h s b . e . pffft nough ttle do ure it is show is nt like it od part. d left th his bebo . go on. as nice e ant sly li w. i’m s If you do you in on the g rs checked. this r. and died. an 6 - 8pm ay. he w e a likeable sho e even put it on urf. bbq. pleas w ts e h a e t c e ig le n th r n a u n s c t to goin get yo iland o its quit ersons e in. sa ke me. h re funky. après e same. ot old p . maybe nt to tha way tun didn’t li sound th e former host g a kiwi. and. we ose in the nose pretty sure he ighly mo e seasons. any h . e m ti . th by th o for s. i’m like th mmer not in a ing to d een kicked off. e was de ears. su its darker man. ginal th b his nam tracks for your . e y. n m n ti super ori eats. i haven’t r fu s that wa ering big boned of dealio. winte sb funky as to kill me once. ht. sort ut deliv o b d a n ll te a a ut tonig thre show is lets go o io . d th ra u is e wah th ahhh str alcony. on the b

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the & drum arcade bass Here it is. brought to you by. hardy packaging. the drum. and. bass. arcade. with balistics. he is the most professional of us all. he even has a bio. so here it is. capital letters. and all. Based in New Plymouth, New Zealand, Balistics aka Matt Hardy caught the drum & bass bug a little later than most, being introduced to dnb in early 2001 whilst living in Wellington... After 4 years in the Welly he moved back to his home town of New Plymouth to spread the music he loves to all that do & don’t know. Shortly after returning to NP Balistics started a radio Show “The Drum & Bass Arcade” on The Most 100.4FM, streaming from www.mostfm.com every Saturday night from 8-10pm (3 years in March 2008).

Balistics has created an excelent platform to share his sound with the city, with the hope of the beginning of what can only be called a “scene”. Always keen to organise gigs, play partys or simply spin some tunes with mates balistics has well & truely begun building the foundation for a drum & bass scene in New Plymouth & will continue to do so..................

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nt of time germinating within the womb of eshing and retinal-pleasing filmmakers, this maniaSeedling and m from the craetor of The l, The Present is best described via the a wide and varied journey into the here s strange and beautiful watery planet.

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rf film was weighted log heavy, and his re of the wide and varied choices we have ocean (other than the stock, standard, ers), The Present sets it sails more globally o the splendidly flowing puddles of New water fornia, Hawaii, and Australia, from out of Indonesia, the tap ets of today’s genetic surfing makeup this amazing substance is often taken for granted. it has Ry Craike, Dane JAZZ THE GLASS mers Sofia Mulanovich, many uses. including providing perfectly formed y, among others, pushhillsthe envelope on to tear up on a surfboard. it has some benefits in the craft andalsoprovide an artistic reflection form of hydration. appar- SLIDE Magazine y smooth as Alex Issue #14 ently style-masters you should drink about such 8 glasses of water per day.

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candles help you handle the dark these amazing inventions are the best thing since the light bulb. they are amazingly effective for providing a nice warm home for fire to dance from. light waves sometimes eminate from them long enough for you to see that the curtains are about to catch fire. something that would not have been possible. had you not have had the candle.

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sunscreen from out of the bottle this amazing stuff demonstrated above is a wonderful invention to help pasty white folk continue to carry on looking. pasty and white. you will notice the area’s where this magic stuff has been applied to the body by the shape of a very heterosexual looking heart. no rays here. nope. none what so ever.

early grave from out of this world this amazing headstone can be yours. before your time. if you like. with the simple recipe of regular burn time bathing combined with lack of magic pasty white folk lotion. this will probably equate to skin cancer. this could be just the ticket you are looking for. live for a short time. not a long time. mafoo.

Betty(Bitch with gun) mafoo. 28

betty not all that nice Ahhh old betty. well no. not that old. she looks like a nice enough girl. had she not have a murdering gun. in her hand. chances are she is a murdering vegan. it actually was once petra nemcova. before somebody put aioli in her sandwich. and. she picked up a gun. i pen tooled all over her. she is like the female equivalent of derrick zoolander. ie. ridiculously good looking. anyway. i set up this piece in illustrator. then turned it into a screen print. my very first attempt. i thought at the time. perhaps i should have completed the practice exercise. in peter avisons class. before i committed to this method. for my final project. but hey. she is ridicously good looking and well. i’m sure it will work out. things pretty much always do. i did think. at one stage. or ten. what have i got myself into. here. anyway. they did turn out kind of cool. i think.actually better than the laser print you will

be looking at to your left. much sharper lines. and stuff. go figure. beginners luck. probably. Anyway back to the name. i think i called her betty bang. i was goin to just call her betty - bitch with gun. but. apparently that is too obvious. this fine art stuff is much trickier than graphic design. anyway. i settled on betty bang. hopefully. if i have done this properly. you will be thinking. of every single possible scenario of why i called her this. other than the actual reason. ahhhh art. makes you think. doesn’t it. yawn. its getting late. well i dont know if it provoked enough thought but if you want to know. it came from betty boop. this girl has a gun. that would probably make it safe to assume she is a bitch. guns dont go boop.. they go bang. your dead. unless she was a bad shot. who knows. i guess you’ll just have to take your chances. do you feel lucky? punk.

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bleed on me please we humans all bleed. it is something to do with the blood within. normally the skin will conceal it. but occasionally. it can be known to pour out of newly formed. immensly undesirable. holes. meet aucklands blood thirsty rockers. the bleeders. if you were to try and describe their music. you might describe. it. desciptively. as smatterings. of punk. hardcore. rock. and. roll. with slight hints of britany and robbie williams. nah. delete those last two. pretend me never ever. even mentioned them. good. delete. now. please. thank you. very. very much. anyway. this boyband. albeit a rather angry one. hails from west auckland. in. auckland. i think. it sounds tuffer than saying. stereotypically. a bunch of spoilt rich kids. from the mafoo. 30

north shore. of auckland. imagine how detrimental that would have been. if. say. even one of them came from takapuna. eeeeek. i mean. weeeeeak. ha. and had no tatoo’s. because his mum said he’d have to leave home. if he ever did. get one. imagine that. i bet. he. would have felt incredibly similar. to an albino. smurf. born into a village of brightly coloured. bright blue. smurfs. a predicament. indeed. anyway these guys are actually. pretty good. like. pretty good enough. to win three tui’s. and i’m not meaning. that. average. mediocre. beer. i mean. music awards. new zealand ones. ones that record companies. would want to buy. if they could. rocking on is what all the fuss is about. i hear its a sin. a sweet. sweet as sin.

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eye ball. soup.

yes. here is some. healthy. delicious. nutricious. soup for your eyes. this little massive poster. coming in at about the same size. as. a sumo wrestler. is a fun filled project. i have been working on. it really includes. all that i hold dear. to me. in terms of. stuff. its not just. one path. i have taken. more like. myselfs. meandering dawdle. down many paths. some more consuming of time. than others. but a pleasant dawdle none. the less. along the way. hand drawn elements. vectorial hoopla. photoshop tweekin here. there. everywhere. pretty matron. typeface. mega monochromaticaganza. whatever. booya.

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edible cherries. sweetsweet fashion.

If you’ve ever wondered where street fashion lived. well. welcome to the home. of. street fashion. black cherry. one very cool. place to call home.if you’re a extension of say. karen walker. or an afficionado of ummm. the. stolen girlfriends club. and. stuff. located on the corner. of. gill street. and. liardet street. in new plymouth. if you are a cool piece of clothing. looking for a home. before you find a new home. well. best you get on down. to black cherry. if you are not such a cool piece. person and or slash otherwise. clothing. i’m afraid you should probably just go. back to the bridge you crawled out from. your cardboard box is. gettin. soggy. gross.

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here then. back in the present.

well here we have the very first photo i took on my trip to the states of america. santa cruz. california. to be precise. obviously the blurriness indicates i had not really read the manual by this stage. but i think it sums up the experience well. 45 years on a plane is a long time to be awake for on a trip from auckland to los angeles to san francisco before a bus trip to santa cruz to arrive at thomas campbells house. to be able to hold a camera steady after this. is damn impossible. its quite fitting i think. to have this image of him doodling away while the vampires rise in the early hours of the morning. old t-moe tucker has been a super rad guy to our family ever since we first met him filming his film here about 7 slash 8 years ago. unbeknown. to him. He has got me thru a couple of horrible art theory classes on this degree. you see. he is a rather popular mafoo. 36

artist slash fim maker slash music label man slash photographer slash inspirational good fun chap. i dont know how i would have written. and or. slash. done seminars on any other artist other than him. the ease that things would just roll off the tongue is seriously reserved for first hand super rad experiences. no amount of reading delightfully sleep inducing text books could ever surpass that. i remember one conversation in particular. in relation to doin something i kinda really umm wanted to do. it definitely seemed out of reach at the time. it must have been super important. as. the details are now kinda hazy. it related to this lark of doin something. similar to what i’ve just done in the last three or so years. his simple advice. to something that seemed. ever so complicated. was. ‘just make it happen’. kinda simple when you look at it that way. thank you.

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waxed lyricals well then. i guess this is the last spread. of this magazine. mafoo. named after me. matthew. but with a speech impediment. well if you read this. i hope it was amusing. i guess thats the best thing i can hope for. moreso. that than weird. i really am just trying to make this look like a magazine. you know. with words in it. and stuff. i could have just used place holder text. but that would be lazy. but. probably equally effective. that’s odd. isn’t it. anyway. consider this a gift. from me. to you. i thought this might stand out. you know. from your collection of badges and stickers. you might have collected over the years. at these exhibitions. you dont have to pay for it. its free. perhaps if you like it. you could offer me a job. or something. that would be. ever so helpful. money makes the world go round. to be completely honest. i am sick of being a starving student. with no money. or food. or massive home entertainment system. i will do for you. the best that i can if you pay me money. i promise. i was goin to say scouts honour. but the fact that i’m unsure if thats thecorrect way of saying it. may be a dead giveaway to the fact i was never a boy scout. i wouldn’t want to make a promise i couldn’t keep. anyway if your into my stuff. why not have your people. get in touch. with my people. and we can get this show on the road.

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39 mafoo.

IAN KING

PIC BRIAN HERLIHY