Allıance
CM
A Resource for Transforming Canada and the World
God Designed Families It ’s Still Snowing! The joy of raising twins with special needs
fants Rescuing Abandoned In Responding to the crisis of discarded newborns
Hooked on Porn Breaking free from the destructive cycles of sexual addiction
SPRING 2014
Riding to Bring Hope
PUT YOUR LOVE IN MOTION ACROSS THE COUNTRY FOR THE INNER CITY Love in Motion is a cycling and motorcycle tour across Canada which aims to bring hope to vulnerable and hurting people in many of our communities. As a family of Alliance churches right across the country we’re raising awareness and funds for projects targeting complex and diverse issues like poverty, youth violence, family breakdown, and the challenges for newcomers to Canada. Please join us Summer 2014
Visit the website to see all the bicycle and motorcycle routes and ways you can give or call the Love in Motion Canadian Director Matt Campbell for info at: 1.416.529.0023
Contents
36 Hooked on Porn
Features
38 Raising Kids for the New
6 It’s Still Snowing!
Discovering true joy in the chronic trials of raising twins with special needs
10 More Than a Ramp
Things we can do to encourage people living with a disability to participate in church life and ministry
The struggle to break free from painful and destructive cycles of sexual addiction
High-Tech World
Strategies parents can use to equip their children with the perspectives and attitudes needed to thrive in this digital age
40 The Changing Face of
Human Communication
In a world of technological saturation the directives of Scripture remain unchanged
13 Hope Shatters the Darkness
42 He Came for This
14 Becoming a Beacon in the Darkness
43 Protecting Their Future
17 Forming a Forever Family
44 Walking Where Jesus Walked
19 Rescuing Abandoned Infants
46 Opening Your Door to the World
Choosing to seek help and support for your mental illness in Christian community
How a church family can be a sanctuary of hope and help for people suffering from mental illness The practice of adoption reveals core truths about the Gospel
How a local radio station responded to the crisis of discarded newborns
How one couple is constantly reminded to invite Christ into every aspect of their lives Due diligence in estate planning now can leave a positive legacy for your family later Personally experiencing the Holy Land can bring the Bible to life for you and your family How to help newcomers to Canada fully integrate into your community
22 Best Laid Plans
God stepped in and began to show them what he would have them do
23 Trusting God Every Step of the Way Evidence of his faithfulness in caring for the details of family living through life’s constant upheavals
25 Establishing the Lifelong The intentional spiritual development of their children is a daily responsibility of parents
27 Love in Motion
Riding coast-to-coast to bring hope to people across the country and around the world
33 Putting Family First
Insights into experiencing a personal rhythm of life within the busyness of the everyday
34 Thriving in Marriage
How cultivating grace, intimacy and communication strengthened their relationship over time
Departments Now You Know
54 Protection Requires Planning
Personnel
50 Personnel Updates
Perspectives
31 On Mission Together
Resources
49 Alliance-Generated Resources
SPRING 2014
Faith of Our Kids
Allıance
EDITORIAL
CM
A Resource for Transforming Canada and the World
Family as a Learning Community
cmAlliance.ca is the national publication of The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada.
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Founder A.B. Simpson President Rev. David Hearn Associate Editor Gladys Thompson Copy Editor / Copy Writer Maria Scorgie Editorial Assistant Debra Marritt Design Devon J Andrew Design Inc. Consultant Peter White All Scripture references from the Holy Bible, New International Version © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Agreement No. 40064689 ISSN: 1918-4646 All articles are copyrighted by The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada except where indicated and can be reprinted only with written permission. Submissions Writer’s Guidelines are available at www.cmacan.org. Send electronic inquiries or manuscript submissions to magazine@cmacan.org. No responsibility is assumed to publish, preserve or return unsolicited material. For more information or reprint permission: contact Gladys Thompson, The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada, 30 Carrier Drive, Suite 100 Toronto ON M9W 5T7 Phone: 416.674.7878 ext. 202 Fax: 416.674.0808 e-mail: magazine@cmacan.org Member of the Canadian Church Press
ot long ago, I was in British Columbia enjoying my family. Since we made our move to the East, leaving our kids and grandkids behind, moments like these have become sacred. The room is filled with non-stop activity and conversation. Grandkids, filled with adventure, are often the centre of attention. Laughter is sprinkled into almost every dialogue as we share stories from our past and comment on the weird and wonderful aspects of life in the present. Even though family gatherings like these are very special, the reality is that family is often messy and chaotic. Expectations are not met, feelings get hurt and misunderstandings abound. Yet, in the midst of it all, we find ourselves learning about one another, learning how to live in relationship with those closest to us. It is a never-ending educational process. Paul David Tripp, in his book Age of Opportunity, comments: “In the family, life is brought not only to our doorstep, but into our kitchens, bedrooms and dens. In the family, life is happening all around us, and it begs to be questioned, evaluated, interpreted and discussed. There is no more consistent, pregnant, dynamic forum for instruction about life than the family, because that is exactly what God designed the family to be, a learning community.” I like this idea of the family as a learning community—a place to be challenged, bumped, encouraged and sharpened. This becomes even more dynamic in the expanded arena of the church family. In our multi-ethnic, multi-generational and highly diverse communities of faith, we are called to continue our learning as we figure out what it means to belong and to become as God’s children. In this edition of cmAlliance.ca, the focus is on the family. You will be challenged with articles that cover everything from communication and media to caring for people struggling with mental illness in your church. Ken Shigematsu will help you explore the dynamic balance between work and family, and Bruce and Tracy Clemenger talk openly about the reality of adoption. This is an issue that will invite you to go deeper and experience a fuller expression of family. Come on in! The adventure continues... Blessings, Dave Hearn President
do good to all people, THEREFORE, AS WE HAVE OPPORTUNITY, LET US
FAMILY especially to those who belong to the
Distinctively Canadian Totally Alliance 4
cmAlliance.ca Spring 2014
OF BELIEVERS Galatians 6:10
Mailbox
To submit a letter, write to magazine@cmacan.org or cmAlliance.ca, The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada, 30 Carrier Drive, Suite 100, Toronto ON M9W 5T7. Letters may be edited for space, clarity and style. Submissions constitute permission to use. Include your name, city and province.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED The team of people visiting us in Niger brought out a copy of the latest cmAlliance.ca magazine. It is all about mission this time around and we recommend it highly. You can find it at www.cmacan. org/magazine or through a local Alliance Church . . . There are stories of God’s work through the Alliance in the past as well as several articles that explain how the Alliance works today. —Tim and Brenda Tjosvold (Niger)
GOOD INTRODUCTION I read the latest issue of cmAlliance.ca all the way through on the plane home last night and it is a very good introduction to all the different aspects of Global Ministries. —Ron Brown INFORMATIVE AND CHALLENGING We appreciate your magazine and find it very interesting, informative and challenging. Keep up the great work! —Laurel Spaulding
( TA K E N F RO M A P R AY E R L E T T E R )
INSPIRED AND ENCOURAGED The recent publication of our magazine has inspired and encouraged us and we want you to know that we thoroughly appreciate all the work that has gone into putting all this information together—and done in such an attractive and tasteful way! We have read it cover to cover. Wow, it was so fantastic to read the articles, enjoy the pictures, become aware of new initiatives and review the ones of which we were already aware! The information is pertinent and clear. We appreciate the good balance between stories of what God has done in the past, what he is doing in the present and that for which we trust him in the future. Thank you for putting out a wonderful magazine that brings honour to our Lord Jesus Christ! We are urging others in our church (Morden Alliance) to read the very valuable material included in this issue. It’s also a wonderful resource for leading prayer cell group and for other ministries too. —Walter and Marilyn Braun BEST ISSUE EVER This is by far the best issue ever of cmAlliance.ca. This is what the magazine should be about every time. The Alliance is missions and the deeper life. Our national magazine should be about who we are and what God has called us to instead of being imitative of what God has called others to be and do. It’s our distinctives that make us distinctive. —Peter Hay
COMPELLING . . . It’s a wonderful magazine collection of thoughts for movement toward seeing and understanding our world and compelling us into action! Well done! —Linda Doell
GREAT STORY Jana does have a great story; you did a great job (“Real People, Real Transformations,” Fall 2013). Now that it is in the Alliance magazine, many will be able to read it and be encouraged. —Danny and Vera Kuranji
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FEATURE
It’s Still
Snowing! Discovering true joy in the chronic trials of raising twins with special needs
Life is comprised of seasons. Winter in Canada is cold and snow is inevitable, though it won’t last forever. In springtime the sun melts the ice away. Summer is always too short and fall brings a harvest of thankfulness. We expect the same pattern every year, and faithfully the cycle repeats itself.
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n the winter of 2004 my husband, Kirk, and I discovered we were expecting twin girls. That summer, Annie and Audrey arrived. Big sister Lily was three, big brother Russell was two, and family life was a happy, exhausting whirlwind. Completely unaware of the chaos to come, we embraced this season of busyness, believing it would come to an end, as all seasons do.
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Four months later, the unthinkable happened: Annie had her first seizure. After a CT scan and days of waiting at The Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, Ont., we were given her diagnosis—Tuberous Sclerosis Complex (TSC). I had never heard of it. Overwhelmed by the volume of information in that meeting, I managed to catch one detail: TSC is genetic. Genetic? I felt my throat tighten and the tears well up.
BY ANDREA FOSTER
Photo Courtesy Andrea Foster
I told them about Audrey, our other baby at home. It’s not every day you see a medical team lose their composure; this news had just gone from bad to worse. After Annie’s diagnosis, we were told to keep our eye on Audrey and to arrange tests for her as well. Three weeks later, Audrey began having seizures and she, too, was diagnosed with TSC. TINY VICTORIES TSC is a genetic condition that allows benign tumours or “tubers” to grow on the skin, central nervous system and other organs (see www.tscanada.ca). Annie and Audrey function at a two- to three-year-old
level and suffer from sleep disorders, seizures, anxiety, feeding difficulty, autism, aggression and global developmental delay. Kirk and I are still changing the girls’ diapers, bathing and dressing them, fighting to get their teeth brushed, and guessing at what’s wrong when they’re upset. As they get older, their independence will be minimal, but we are hopeful and encouraged when we see tiny victories surface. Simple things like being able to sit through an assembly at school or going into a store without an anxious meltdown are milestones we don’t take for granted. At times people stare as our ten-year-olds turn in
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SPECIAL NEEDS RESOURCES FOR YOUR CHURCH CLC N E T WO R K offers
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resources like training DVDs and books for churches with a program for special needs (www.clcnetwork.org).
FRI E N DS HI P MI N IS T RI E S
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has Bible study materials for students with special needs (www.friendship.org/bookstore).
LET ALL TH E CHILD RE N
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CO M E TO M E by MaLesa Breeding, Dana Hood and Jerry Whitworth helps workers integrate children with disabilities into their children’s ministry programs.
CHILD RE N’S MINISTRY
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P O CKET GUID E TO S PECIAL N E E DS (Group Publishing) is a booklet for volunteers offering relevant techniques and teaching tips about children with special needs.
AUTIS M AN D YOU R
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CH U RCH: N U RTU RIN G TH E S PIRITUAL G ROW TH O F PEO PLE WITH AUTIS M S PEC TRU M DISO RD E R by Barbara Newman provides practical strategies for welcoming people with autism into the church community.
CH RIS TI A N H O RI ZO N S
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provides information and resources for serving the person with exceptional needs (www.christian-horizons.org).
W I N NI N G KI DS I N C. includes
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resources, training, coaching and support in creating winning environments for children with disabilities (www.winningkidsinc.ca).
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circles. We’re okay with that. We understand that our life of raising twins with special needs is not everyone’s reality. The truth is, a few decades ago, our girls would have likely been institutionalized by now, and certainly not dancing and singing in church. But they are in church and are loved by the people there. AN ACCOMMODATING CHURCH Bramalea Alliance has been our church home for over 12 years and our family has been greatly welcomed there. At about four years old, the twins were physically outgrowing the toddler room. The Children’s Directors asked for our input about accommodating the twins. We suggested a special needs room. Audrey enjoys sitting in church most Sundays but will sometimes opt for the special room with her worker. Annie is usually happy when we pull into the church parking lot and will sometimes stay for the worship time before heading to her special room. Annie and Audrey’s connection to the Lord is undeniable. They will never lead a Sunday School class or give a dime of their hard-earned money to missions. Still, they are part of the Church and they bear the image of God. “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle” is merely a phrase; it’s not Scripture. God gives us what he can handle—we just have to be willing to let him handle it. What does that mean? It means I am living a God-glorifying life, in spite of chronic trials—and I’m not living it alone. After a year of dealing with insomniac two-year-olds, Kirk and I were wearing out. I felt like maybe this was more than I could handle. I was discouraged, confused, angry and heartbroken. Annie and Audrey didn’t even know who I was. My toddlers were not progressing well. They slept little, had seizures and showed signs of having autism. This was not what I had expected my life to be, and this season was not ending. I prayed. My Christian friends prayed. Our pastor anointed the girls with oil, laid hands on them, and he prayed too. In the darkness, I shook my fist in the air and cried out to God, “This is all I can handle!” And then it stopped. I stopped. I opened my fist and the God of the universe took me by the hand, led me to his Word and poured truth into my soul.
IT MEANS I AM LIVING A GODGLORIFYING LIFE, IN SPITE OF CHRONIC TRIALS — AND I’M NOT LIVING IT ALONE
A CRITICAL CHOICE I began to recall Scriptures, and listened intently to the worship DVDs the twins were obsessed with, which the Lord used to remind me of some
Annie on the swing
Audrey on the swing
Photo Courtesy Donette Bobb
Photo Courtesy Andrea Foster
specific truths. God keeps his word. God loves me. God has not forgotten me. God is faithful. God is in control. I realized I had a choice to make. I could either keep complaining about how difficult this season was, or I could decide to stop being angry at God and look for ways to use my wakeful times for something good. So what did I choose? In my ongoing difficult season, I chose to give Jesus my worries, my fears and my broken heart. I chose to open my Bible, and read it regularly. I chose to connect with TSC families and stay connected with my church family. Perhaps the most important choice was choosing to be thankful. I wrote thankful lists, kept a journal and prayed . . . and then it happened. My perspective changed and God gave me a good gift. I realized that God’s design isn’t flawed; he designed our family with purpose. I experience true joy when Annie and Audrey sing and dance, when classmates befriend them or when they simply play the way other children play. I have also experienced genuine grief over the loss of dreams and what I had expected this life to be. Yet, in the midst of seizures and insomnia, supernatural peace and illogical joy are mine, given to me by my Father in heaven. It’s been a long winter, a whole decade of dealing
with TSC. It’s still snowing, but we live in a season of hope. After all, our Creator God is the one who faithfully changes the seasons and his love is one thing that does go on forever.
PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT CHOICE WAS CHOOSING TO BE THANKFUL
Andrea Foster and her family worship at Bramalea Alliance Church in Bramalea, ON
SETTING UP A SPECIAL NEEDS ROOM The key to setting up a special needs room is to minimize distraction and stimulation. Children with special needs are generally more sensitive to bright colours and noise; muted colours can have a calming effect. Avoid painting colourful murals or posting bright pictures. Allocate one corner as a quiet space and equip it with sensory toys to help children calm down when they feel over-stimulated. De-clutter the room by keeping toys and craft materials in boxes. Keep them out of sight until required to help children focus on the task at hand. Post a schedule on the wall to help minimize transition-related stress.
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FEATURE
More Than a Ramp BY GLADYS THOMPSON
Things we can do to encourage people living with a disability to participate in church life and ministry
A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities — William Arthur Ward
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D
riving home from work on December 16, 2011, I turned a corner and saw a speeding car heading toward me. Within seconds I felt the impact that changed my life. Leaving the hospital that night with very limited mobility, I spent several weeks in the home of my daughter and son-in-law. Because I had to use a walker for a while, a make-shift ramp was built. But my needs were much more than a ramp. Furniture and schedules were rearranged to accommodate me. Meals were provided, medications picked up, clothes laundered, arrangements made to get me to medical appointments, and so much more. My family did this because they cared. I learned some valuable lessons during my time of healing, catching a glimpse of what many people face every day. It sent me on a journey to learn more CHRISTIANS WITH about the 4.4 million who live DISABILITIES WANT Canadians with a disability. My journey took TO ENJOY THEIR me first to my Bible where I was reminded FULL RIGHTS AS of Jesus, who went CHURCH MEMBERS out of his way to be with disabled people. I remembered the group of friends who cut through a roof to lower their friend with a disability to him. I remembered King David who made room at his table for Mephibosheth, who was crippled. God’s Word tells us not to “curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind” (see Leviticus 19:14), and that the person who leads the blind astray will be cursed (see Deuteronomy 27:18). We’re also reminded in Philippians 2:4 to look out for the interests of others. People with disabilities need the Lord just like everyone else. Christians with disabilities want to enjoy their full rights as church members. They have the same duty as all members of the community to do the Lord’s work, according to their God-given talents and capacities. As Christians, should we not do all we can to make this possible? But, you may say, “Nobody in our church needs these things!” Perhaps people with special needs don’t come because accessibilities are not available. Jesus said to “invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed” (see Luke 14:13-14). I have discovered that industry standards are changing to accommodate disabled people. For example, Web Content Accessibility Guidelines (WCAG) were developed as a global standard; most software developers are now making adjustments to help meet accessibility needs. I have also read about the stresses for families living with disability. The divorce rate of couples who have
THINGS YOUR CHURCH CAN DO TO HELP 1. Survey the needs of people with disabilities in your community; then survey your church’s strengths and abilities to meet them.
2. List helpful community resources and professionals. 3. Set up a committee or resource person to: a identify disability concerns, b inform congregants about accessibilities, c train volunteers, and d help people with disabilities and their families find needed resources.
4. Provide support through a benevolent fund, respite care, transportation, household assistance and support groups.
5. If your church is accessible, let people with disabilities know they are welcome.
6. Remember accessibility needs when redecorating and planning modifications to the structure, as well as in programming and fellowship.
7. Present information during worship services, classes, meetings and social activities with both a visual and an auditory component.
8. Invite people with disabilities to take leadership positions.
9. Make accessibility concerns a permanent item on your agenda.
10. Have books and other resources on accessibilities available in your church library or foyer.
a child with a disability is extremely high, and single parents have all the challenges that single parenting involves plus the challenge of caring for and raising a child with a disability. INSIGHT ON POOR VISION A friend of mine at church participates in the ladies’ book club; she also loves to bowl and ride a bike. She’s been blind since birth! I love her sense of humour, like when she accidently bumps into someone and says, “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you!” Many people with little or no sight use scanning devices that convert text into Braille characters. There are also a variety of software programs that convert text into speech so they can listen to online web content.
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At the National Ministry Centre we are learning how these scanners and screen readers work, and the simple things we can do to help overcome their limitations. HEAR ABOUT THE DEAF About 350,000 Canadians are profoundly deaf, while another 3.15 million are hard of hearing. And they’re not all seniors; about one in five teens have some degree of hearing loss, which is the KINDNESS fastest growing chronic condition facing IS THE Canadians today. Some simple things churches can do LANGUAGE to help accommodate the deaf and hard of WHICH THE hearing include supplying printed texts of the sermon and/or providing an assistiveDEAF CAN listening system in the sanctuary. HEAR AND Churches can install fire alarms with THE BLIND both visual and audible signals. Private meetings and conversations can be held in CAN SEE quiet rooms with no photocopiers or other noisy machines. — Mark Twain SUPPORT PEOPLE WITH MOBILITY ISSUES Growing up, one of my favourite autobiographies was that of Joni Eareckson Tada, who became a quadriplegic due to a swimming accident. As her faith strengthened over the years, Joni became an advocate for the disabled, learned to paint, wrote more than 40 books, recorded several musical albums and starred in an autobiographical movie of her life. People with walkers, scooters and wheelchairs can praise the Lord, too, and should be welcomed into our places of worship, participating alongside their families. SENSITIVE TO SENSITIVITIES In 1997, the bright, flashing lights in a Pokémon cartoon on a Japanese television channel triggered seizures, causing at least 618 children to suffer convulsions, vomiting, irritated eyes and other symptoms. Seizures can be triggered by flashing, colourful lights such as are sometimes seen in music videos shown in churches or on websites. Even motion sickness can be caused by a fast-moving background on the screen displaying song lyrics during a worship service. Some people have sensitivities to certain foods. It’s easy to label foods at church socials that might affect people with special diets such as diabetic, gluten-free, lactose-free or nut allergies. Heavily-scented perfumes can also cause sinus and eye irritations for people with chemical sensitivities, distracting them from the worship service. BE INTENTIONAL Mark Twain said, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Creating awareness, changing attitudes, implementing programs and making modest accommodations can be
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RECOMMENDED DISABILITY MINISTRY RESOURCES Christian Churches Disability Ministry // free downloads
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(www.ccdmonline.org/#/resources).
Joni and Friends // free downloads and books for
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purchase (www.joniandfriends.org/help-and-resources).
The Office of Disability Concerns of the Christian
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Reformed Church // free resources (www2.crcna.org/pages/disability_access.cfm).
Carters Professional Corporation // a comprehensive
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guideline about the Custom Service Standards of the Accessibility of Ontarians with Disabilities Act (www.carters.ca/pub/bulletin/charity/2010/chylb235.pdf).
Faith Alive // Bible study materials in Braille and
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large-print formats; friendship ministries resources (www.faithaliveresources.org/TabCenter/Tab/6/ Disability_Ministry.aspx).
DVC Christian Television Network // resources in sign
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language (www.deafvideo.com).
Including People with Disabilities in Faith Communities
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by Erik W. Carter // a comprehensive guide for including people with disabilities in all aspects of congregational life. Includes reproducible resources.
Barrier-Free Friendships: Bridging the Distance Between
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You and Friends With Disabilities by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steve Jensen.
Same Lake Different Boat: Coming Alongside People
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Touched by Disability by Stephanie O. Hubach // helps us understand disabilities biblically and the challenges facing families touched by them.
relatively inexpensive. It’s less about what’s in the church budget, and more about what’s in the heart. Accessibility for people with disabilities requires more than a ramp. It means breaking down physical, communication and attitudinal barriers and building bridges of warmth and hospitality toward disabled people. It takes love and acceptance, as well as just a little time and effort. It means becoming educated about disabilities and how we can help. It takes a commitment to being intentional in finding ways to be the caring church family God wants us to be. Gladys Thompson, Communications Coordinator at The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada’s National Ministry Centre, is Associate Editor of cmAlliance.ca
Choosing to seek help and support for your mental illness in Christian community BY MARIA SCORGIE
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he rattling morning alarm clock pierces your tossing-and-turning sleep. A dreaded thought floods your mind: it’s Sunday. And that means church. And happy, clappy songs of praise, and perfect nuclear families, and Bible readings about God’s goodness. I can’t do it. So you roll over and shut your eyes in an attempt to block out the darkness that already seeks to infect this fresh day. If only the darkness would subside for a few hours. If only there was an escape. Perhaps depression is your diagnosis. Maybe it’s Alzheimer’s, or anxiety, or anorexia. Or maybe a doctor hasn’t placed a label on your darkness, but your wrists reveal the layers of scars from cutting in the bathtub, or your baby is already four months old, but you haven’t yet tasted the bliss that the other new moms in Bible study seem to radiate. Fear not. There is hope. But it’s not found in one single pill or one prayer, one counselling meeting or one Bible verse. Because mental illness—yes, it’s a real illness—is not simple; it is a labyrinth of genetics, biology, personality,
socioeconomic status, life events and spiritual battle. Sometimes God chooses to heal someone supernaturally; oftentimes he chooses to do so through the combined efforts of medical intervention, prayer and study, and Christian community. We are raised to be self-sufficient and independent men and women. It’s hard to ask for help. It seems easier to keep our struggles hidden and suffer in silence. But God wants his children to care for you in your time of need. Facing the darkness in isolation is most treacherous. During the moments when you most want to go silent and turn inward is precisely when you need believers in Christ to be his hands, pulling you in for a comforting embrace, to be his feet, helping you do the necessary tasks of daily life that are just too tough to do on your own. Asking for help can be risky, but your loving Heavenly Father designed the church family to be a place of comfort, of help and of hope. Maria Scorgie is Copy Editor/Copywriter for The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada’s National Ministry Centre
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FEATURE
how a church family can be a sanctuary of hope and help for people suffering from mental illness BY MARIA SCORGIE
FAR TOO OFTEN MENTAL ILLNESS IS GREETED WITH SILENCE RATHER THAN COMPASSION n a recent interview on the TV program, Context with Lorna Dueck, Lloyd Robertson described his father as a Christian man who was deeply compassionate toward his wife who suffered with severe mental illness. Lloyd couldn’t invite his friends over to play; in his time, people with mental illness had to be hidden away because it made other people feel uncomfortable. While this frustrated young Lloyd, his father used to tell him, “Be kind to your mother. She has an illness. She could have cancer, she could have diabetes. She happens to be mentally ill.” Lloyd’s father was ahead of his time. He recognized mental illness to be just that—an illness, and one that necessitates relentless love and understanding. This is exceptional advice for us today.
Caring, Not Curing Mental illness is a “no-casserole disease”; church ladies may show up with a dish of lasagna for someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer, but probably not for someone who has just revealed their schizophrenia diagnosis. Far too often mental illness is greeted with silence rather than compassion. Are we willing to lay down our prejudices about those who are mentally ill and actually walk with them through their darkness? Purple Yip is a mental health worker who attends Midtown Alliance Church in Toronto, Ont. She suggests that if someone in your church is struggling with mental illness, instead of trying to explain their pain away, you could say, “It must be very difficult for you. I’m willing to listen. Do you want to tell me more?” Midtown Alliance Church recognized that many of the people in their own backyard struggle with mental illness. Since March 2013, the Midtown family has invited their neighbours to breakfast club, a safe place for anyone who needs to talk. Midtown wants their neighbourhood to know: We aren’t going anywhere; we’re here for you for the long run. Don’t worry. You’re not expected to cure anybody, but people struggling with mental health do need someone to care.
OUR RESPONSE MATTERS What if, after next week’s worship service, the person beside you turned to you and whispered, “Can you help me? I’m really struggling with my depression.” Would you know what to say … what not to say? Would you offer one of the many popular platitudes like, “It’ll get better,” or dutifully promise, “I’ll pray for you,” or suggest they just go speak with the pastor? Chances are these words wouldn’t be uttered on a Sunday morning. But considering that one in four Canadians experiences mental health difficulties in any given year, perhaps it is not so outlandish. Did you know the first place a person typically heads when they are struggling with a mental health issue is not the family doctor, but the church? The church’s first response when someone cries out for help is critical. It is critical because early intervention is key, both for the individual’s health and for their family’s well-being. It is crucial because we can’t afford to overspiritualize a health issue that requires ongoing medical care. It is vital because a local church often addresses social issues in the community like addiction, homelessness or prison ministry without understanding that mental illness is frequently at the core of these issues. It is significant because the stigma and the silence, the rejection and the ignorance, cannot continue, for when one part of the body is sick, the entire body is suffering. Perhaps mental illness has not yet struck your family like it has mine, but there is no doubt it is producing suffering in your other family—your church family.
SOMETHING IS AMISS Anorexia, anxiety disorders and Alzheimer’s in our church families indicate that something is amiss, and we must reckon with this result of fallen humanity. The emotional and physical pain that mental illness brings are a natural response to suffering in this broken world. Pastors are not exempt; in fact, mental illness can often strike our leaders the hardest because of
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their lonely and weighty role. Jeremiah was called “the weeping prophet.” Jesus was called “a man of sorrows”; he was “acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care” (Isaiah 53:3, NLT). We are entrenched in the sin wreckage that surrounds us. We need to acknowledge the effects of sin, but we also need to look toward the One who has broken the power of sin and death, and cling to the divine promise that he is making all things new. The message of hope can never be repeated enough in our churches or around our dinner tables. With God’s grace and by his strength, we must choose not to be fearful or ignorant of individuals or families in mental health crisis. Our presence and loving support will help assure them of God’s love until we receive from Jesus our glorious new bodies that will boast perfect health and wellness (see Philippians 3:20-21).
BE AN AGENT OF HOPE AND HELP [PRACTICAL THINGS TO DO]
Maria Scorgie is Copy Editor/Copywriter for The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada’s National Ministry Centre
4 Do what you always do. Families suffering
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES Mental Health Ministries exists to erase the
n
stigma of mental health, and offers free resources like “Creating Caring Congregations” and “How Faith Communities Can Provide Hope and Promote Healing.” (www.mentalhealthministries.net)
Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church’s
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Mission by Amy Simpson, whose mother had schizophrenia, is a book which shows how to love families who suffer in stigmatized silence, and to become a church that loves God with whole hearts and souls.
Mind and Soul: Exploring Christianity and Mental
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Health supports people who want to combine their Christian faith with mental health and well-being. One helpful article is “How Could Churches Help Reduce Mental Health Suffering.” (www.mindandsoul.info)
Working Group for the Promotion of Mental Health
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in Faith Communities – Purple Yip coordinates a group of professionals in partnership with Tyndale University College and Seminary. Contact Purple at PYip@schizophrenia.on.ca.
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1 Oppose stigma. Challenge negative ideas about persons with a mental illness. Mention it in sermons and discuss it in Bible studies.
2 Form a network. Create a referral list of mental health services and community-based groups. Your church doesn’t need to be the expert; partner with those who are already doing it well.
3 Get educated. Learn the dynamics of specific mental illnesses so you can recognize triggers and actions to help stop the downward spiral. But realize that there is no golden answer or cure waiting to be found in a book.
from mental illness need the same care as others who are sick: meals, rides to the doctor, benevolent gifts.
5 Words matter. Choose your words with wisdom and understanding. For example, don’t undermine the weight of depression by saying things like, “It’s raining today; I’m so depressed.”
6 Be patient with ongoing struggle. Jumping in and trying to save a person often results in exhaustion and abandonment.
7 Offer healthy outlets. Charles Spurgeon, renowned preacher who suffered from severe depression, advocated for God’s natural means of survival: “A mouthful of sea air, or a stiff walk in the wind’s face would not give grace to the soul, but it would yield oxygen to the body, which is next best.”
8 Practise the ministry of presence. Just being there, listening, allowing the other person to take the lead.
9 Integrate persons with mental illness into your church family. Be intentional about inviting and then accompanying them to social gatherings. Let them know they are not forgotten.
FORMING A FOREVER FAMILY
FEATURE
The practice of adoption reveals core truths about the Gospel BY BRUCE AND TRACY CLEMENGER
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ho’d like to make their maximum impact for God?” the preacher asked. “Who’d like to experience real purpose in life?” We didn’t know each other at the time, but we remember sitting there as youth listening to the messages about how much God loves children and youth. “God knows your best future. He’s looking to prepare you to serve your generation and the ones to follow.” This was a familiar theme when Dr. Arnold Cook came to Bayview Glen Alliance Church in Toronto those decades ago. GOD PREPARES US I (Bruce) grew up in The Christian and Missionary Alliance. We practised regular home hospitality because my parents were always inviting people, including missionaries, home for Sunday roast, some staying days and longer. Back then, the future site of Bayview Glen was a forested ravine with an old mill. By faith, the congregation began building a church at the north end of the city. Little did Bruce and Tracy Clemenger and daughters
Photo Courtesy Bruce and Tracy Clemenger
I know that this same building would become the doors through which my future wife would walk. I (Tracy) am a first-generation Canadian born to parents who immigrated to Canada for a fresh start after World War II. By the end of high school, I found myself attending a youth group; it always seemed to connect to my longing: I wanted to live life without wasting it for anything that wasn’t going to be my best life. Cupid struck hard when Bruce and I met as young adults, but so, too, did our conversations about our Christian faith and what this meant in practice. I was deeply impressed by the theology of adoption as the signature of the faith but I also wondered why adoption was not the signature of the church body: family formation and church planning and priorities. Wasn’t Jesus the adopted son of Joseph? Aren’t we the adopted children of God? Why aren’t more adopting just for the love of others? Little did I know Bruce shared the same deep feelings about love expressed in this way. Adoption is the heartbeat of the love of God, and we wanted in on it! OUR FOREVER FAMILY Within the first few years of marriage, Tracy contacted the Children’s Aid Society (CAS) to inquire about what they look for in adoptive parents. We decided to start building our lives in that direction. When we felt ready to move forward with the adoption process, we called the agency. After a preliminary screening, we were invited to enroll in courses, complete a police check and begin deeper interviews through a home-study. Shortly after becoming government-approved, we
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Adoption:
Myths and Realities
Bruce and Tracy Clemenger, along with over 45 other adoptive and fostering families, have recently launched a book celebrating fostering and adoption: Children & Youth Matter: Beyond Ignorance and Indifference (www.castlequay.com).
Here are some of the myths and realities explored in the book. MYTH: There are no infants in foster care. REALITY: Some children in foster care are infants who have been placed for adoption by birth mothers hoping for a better parenting experience than what they can offer their child. MYTH: Children in foster care have abuse, neglect or trauma issues. REALITY: All children in foster care have experienced temporary or permanent separation from their birth parents. They require parents willing to embrace them as their own and wise enough to guide and honour their pre-placement journey as they develop.
received a placement call; soon after, we welcomed our first daughter home. A few years later, we welcomed home our second daughter. Adoption is a sacred trust and, both times, we held an entrustment ceremony to celebrate this new covenant relationship as we became a forever family. Today we are thankful for our family and spiritual heritage—and offer 30,000 reasons why it is good for churches and families to invest in children and youth through the practice of adoption. Canada alone has over 30,000 children and youth waiting for loving homes. Tens of thousands more need quality fostering homes. We encourage families at all stages of life—whether they are newlyweds, already have a few biological children or are empty nesters—to consider adoption. Strongholds of comfort as well as deceits about the children—who they are and who they become —seem to be holding the Church back from making her maximum impact for God today among all children and youth. We need churches to become places animated by an adoptive spirit and in practice be filled with families who adopt and foster. Adoption is at the core of our theology and our Christian tradition; it needs to be at the core of our practice, too. Children need a forever mom and dad, just like we need our Abba Father. Why adopt? We think the better question is: why not adopt? Bruce Clemenger is President of the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada. Together Bruce and Tracy co-founded www.adoptionsunday.com
MYTH: Children of adoption never have good outcomes. REALITY: Children of adoption often grow up to be successful, outstanding role models and leaders.
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES
MYTH: Adoption is too expensive. REALITY: Private adoption ranges from $5,000
Check out www.AdoptionSunday.com, an initiative of the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada
to $10,000; international adoption can cost up to $30,000. Public adoption costs very little (since the agency absorbs most or all of the expenses).
• Watch A Dime of Time for a Child in Care, a 10-minute awareness video
MYTH: I am too old. REALITY: Empty-nesters and grandparents are adopting. There isn’t an age restriction to adopt Canadian children.
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• Click on “Connect as Churches” to explore a list of ideas about connecting with children in care • Engage with the monthly “National Prayer Guide for all Children and Youth” • Click on “Taking the Next Steps” to explore adoption and fostering
FEATURE
RESCUING ABANDONED INFANTS HOW A LOCAL RADIO STATION RESPONDED TO THE CRISIS OF DISCARDED NEWBORNS BY MARIA SCORGIE
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n Guinea there are two places where moms might abandon their newborn babies. The first is in the bush, where the infant will be hidden and death will go unnoticed. The second is a garbage heap or another public place frequented daily by people, in hopes that someone will spot the child. But now there is a third place—and this is one of great hope. It is called the Source of Life Infant Rescue Centre. It all began one hot summer night in 2007, when a young woman brought her two-week-old baby girl to a local radio station, one with a reputation for valuing women and children. “If someone does not take this baby,” she cried in desperation, “I am going to throw her away.” Ann-Marie, a journalist and producer for a call-in radio program for kids, happened to be working late that evening. She took the fragile infant home. After a pile of paperwork, the following month Ann-Marie adopted little Esther as her own daughter.
GIRLS OFTEN BECOME MOTHERS WHILE THEY ARE STILL CHILDREN THEMSELVES
This is David. His twin brother is Jacob. The twins were given to a lady in a market to watch while the mother did some shopping. She never came back. They have been adopted by an American family and
“But,” you ask, “how can a new mother be so heartless as to discard her tiny baby?” We must understand that her situation is tremendously complex; she is often left with a painful choice to make. n Over half of the men in Guinea have more than one wife. If a woman is not the favoured wife, it is unlikely that he will feed and clothe her children. n Many are widowed at a young age. If they remarry, their new husband will not support her children. n The unemployment rate is so high that a husband frequently can’t support any of his wives or children. Many women are abandoned by their husbands who leave to find work. n Girls often become mothers while they are still children themselves. n Sexual exploitation is rampant; unwanted pregnancy is widespread. n There are no crisis pregnancy centres, no maternity clinics, no women’s shelters, no adoption agencies, no daycare centres, no government aid for single moms, nothing.
arrived in the United States in November 2013.
This is Michael, held by Joanne Beach, Director of Alliance Justice and Compassion, C&MA in Canada. A newborn when they received him, he had been deposited on the doorstep of a young man by the mother. Michael has been adopted by a Guinean family.
Baby Colette’s mother came to them still pregnant, went into labour while talking to the administrator of the centre and went immediately to the hospital. They took Colette from there. She has been adopted by a Guinean family – both are doctors. They were willing to take her even though she has mental challenges.
RADIO STATION REPURPOSED This quandary for moms in Guinea is not new—it just has never been publicly addressed. Since Esther’s story of hope and rescue, the radio station, Renaissance FM, began to understand the desperation of new moms. Renaissance FM, overseen by International Worker Colette Baudais, is now giving a voice to this crisis for new moms and new babies through the creation of radio programs that openly discuss the situations that drive moms
This is Deborah. She has been adopted by a Guinean Christian family. She was found by a group of children abandoned in an unfinished house. She was eight months old, had been drugged and did not wake up until she had been with them for one and a half days. Photos Courtesy Joanne Beach and Colette Baudais
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to abandon their newborn children. lady who Since the majority of men and adopted women in Guinea Colette. are illiterate, radio is a vital source of education, understanding, and hope. Renaissance Photo Courtesy Colette Baudais FM—which was renting two extra apartments in their office building— repurposed one of their apartments as a centre where abandoned infants could be received. “Source de Vie” (Source of Life Infant Rescue Centre) was birthed in February 2008 with a vision to care for the most vulnerable babies with the goal of finding families to adopt them, rather than being a long-term orphanage. The centre has since relocated to a house to accommodate up to 25 infants at a time. “Saving these children is our expression of God’s command to love ambroseuc our neighbour,” says Colette. This is the
THE CENTRE HAS SINCE RELOCATED TO A HOUSE TO ACCOMMODATE UP TO 25 INFANTS AT A TIME
ABANDONED TO ADOPTED
@ambroseuc
Once a baby is brought to Source of Life, Colette and her ambroseuniversity team file a report with local police. Next they bring the infant to a local hospital for a complete medical check-up; ambroseuc malnutrition and illnesses like malaria are common. In 2013, the rescue centre hired Dr. Charles, a local pediatrician with a deep love for children. The little ones now receive the best medical services; Dr. Charles’ consistent care ensures they are not overmedicated or taking inappropriate medicine, which often happens when visiting random doctors. After a baby has lived at Source of Life for a complete year, the court can grant full parental custody to the centre, giving them the opportunity to begin an adoption ambroseuc plan with an adoptive family either nationally or @ambroseuc internationally, in conjunction with the government. “We show love to the children and, in doing so, love ambroseuniversity the mother or family member who brings the child to us,” explains Colette. “Many infants are abandoned—left ambroseuc alone to perish—but God sends someone to find them and then we get the privilege of loving them and finding a family for them.” Maria Scorgie is Copy Editor/Copywriter at The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada’s National Ministry Centre
university degrees ministry training seminary education www.ambrose.edu 150 Ambrose Circle SW Calgary, Alberta 403.410.2900 ambroseuc @ambroseuc ambroseuniversity ambroseuc
ambroseuc @ambroseuc ambroseuniversity ambroseuc
FEATURE
God stepped in and began to show them what he would have them do
The Herbold Family Photos Courtesy Darren and Naomi Herbold
BY MARIA SCORGIE
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hina, and a boy, was their plan. From a young age, Naomi Herbold dreamt of one day adopting a child. Her husband, Darren, did not share her sentiments. So they had two beautiful biological children—Esther, and then Judah—and even sponsored three Compassion kids. Then came a Compassion Sunday at Beulah Alliance Church in Edmonton where Darren pastors. God did a 360 on Darren’s heart, for suddenly his mind was flooded with one thought: “Naomi and I are supposed to adopt.” And so began the adoption process, spurred on by initial excitement but interrupted by many questions. “Should we actually do this?” “Which country?” “Boy or girl?” “Can we afford this?” “What about Esther and Judah?” But they settled on a plan—China, and a boy. One day, Darren shared about their adoption process at staff chapel. A colleague placed a prayer letter from Alliance International Worker in Guinea, Colette Baudais, on his desk afterward. This sparked a fresh idea from his Father: What about Africa? A little while later, Darren attended an Alliance prayer retreat; he mentioned to another Alliance pastor about possibly adopting from Guinea. “Why, Colette’s right over there. Let me introduce you.” A divine appointment while Colette was in Canada on Home Assignment. So Naomi and Darren began the adoption process with Colette and the Infant Rescue Centre, Source de Vie, a place where abandoned infants are cared for until loving homes are found for them, either nationally or internationally.
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Their plan was still a boy, but Colette was adamant she only had a little girl named Rebecca who was ready to be adopted. “Oh well,” Darren thought, “I guess we’ll need to wait for God to answer our plan.” During a prayer and fellowship gathering one evening, a good friend, who had no idea about the boy versus girl question, interrupted to say, “You know, I’m not sure why, but God keeps bringing this passage to my mind.” He then proceeded to read from Genesis 24 about the lovely Rebekah—an answer to prayer, a blessing to Isaac. That sealed the deal: it is Rebecca. Joyfully, Rebecca Rebecca Herbold joined the family in April 2013. “When God speaks and one obeys,” Darren explains, “your life is forever changed for the good. My plan was pointless. For us, one of the continued reminders has been that our best laid plans always fail in comparison to his direction for our lives.” Maria Scorgie is Copy Editor/Copywriter at The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada’s National Ministry Centre
FEATURE
TRUSTING GOD EVERY STEP OF THE WAY EVIDENCE OF HIS FAITHFULNESS IN CARING FOR THE DETAILS OF FAMILY LIVING THROUGH LIFE’S CONSTANT UPHEAVALS BY AMANDA ARNASON
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he day I met Mike, I was wearing sweatpants and studying for my final exams in the university cafeteria. Trapped in an abusive relationship, I was not looking for anyone, but God sent Mike at the perfect time. I found myself falling in love, and Mike got me safely out of my situation. It was a blur of fragility, elation and relief. We started dating in June 1996, were engaged by April 1997 and planned to be married in August 1998. Shortly after our engagement, my 45-year-old Mom, Peggy, was diagnosed with cancer. Mom was a fighter, and even after chemotherapy, radiation and a bone marrow transplant, she was able to be there for my wedding day. I felt so blessed. Mom even made it to my convocation. I remember so clearly, holding that B.Ed. certificate up to the crowd for her to see. It was euphoric! When Mom lost her battle with cancer two months later, I was absolutely devastated. But God nudged me to pick myself up, and I did, through my teaching. I lived for my students and Mike was nothing but supportive. We wanted to travel and buy a house before having a baby, so we backpacked through Europe in 2003. Ten days after our return to Winnipeg, we bought our first home—a gorgeous 1929 bungalow with beautiful hardwood floors. A year later, we were expecting our first baby. Our son, Thor, born with aspirated meconium, was immediately rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit where he spent the next 18 days. Two years later, after a dangerous pregnancy suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum, our daughter, Britta, was born. With a house and two kids, we felt “settled”—but not for long.
Mike and Amanda Arnason and family Photo Courtesy Erin Peden Photography
NEW DIRECTION Mike was growing unhappy with his career. He came home from work one day and said, “What I’m doing is making no difference in the world whatsoever. I’m applying for the RCMP.” “You’re doing what?” WE DID THE We had a house, a car and two kids! What was he thinking? ONLY THING WE It was a huge decision. He’d have KNEW HOW TO to quit his job and relocation for training in Regina was absolutely DO: WE PRAYED necessary. We did the only thing FOR DIRECTION, we knew how to do: we prayed for direction, patience and wisdom. PATIENCE AND Mike began the application WISDOM process in December 2007. Our whole family was on board for this new venture. Nine months later, Mike received a phone call: his application had been rejected. We didn’t understand. Mike had been so sure this was what God wanted him to do. He wrestled with thoughts of frustration and confusion. We had to wait a full year to reapply, so we waited and prayed.
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FAST FACTS: 3.7 MILLION FAMILIES WITH CHILDREN CANADIAN FAMILIES
Photo Courtesy Erin Peden Photography
Two months later we were surprised to discover I was pregnant with our third child. It was then we understood: if Mike had been accepted into the RCMP, he would have missed it all. God was protecting and providing for our family. In January 2009, we moved to a new home— delightfully old fashioned, but the neighbourhood was less than desirable with its rampant crime. Our second son, Tryggvi, was born in June. After a year of praying for strength, direction and obedience, Mike reapplied for the RCMP. The following spring, we still hadn’t heard back from the RCMP, yet we felt we needed to leave our neighbourhood after a fatal shooting three doors down from us.
DREAM FULFILLED Mike received another phone call from the RCMP, and this time God’s answer was “yes.” We had three weeks to pack up and move our family of five to Regina. Mike’s parents offered for us to move into the small basement apartment in their home. Each of us played a vital role in helping Mike achieve his dream of becoming an RCMP constable. On March 25, 2011, my husband became Constable Michael James Arnason. We headed west to Sylvan Lake, Alta., and eventually settled into our new church home at the Alliance Community Church at the end of our street. By December, we were expecting our fourth baby. I suffered from severe hyperemesis gravidarum again. I could barely eat or drink for four months. We prayed. We asked everyone we knew to pray for us. It was very scary for our whole family as I grew weaker and weaker, but God pulled me through. Our third son, Tyr, was born in August 2012. God has brought us through scores of setbacks, disappointments, joys and triumphs, and he continues to pour his blessings over us. Each day brings new challenges, but we know that God has big plans for our big family! Amanda Arnason and her family attend Alliance Community Church in Sylvan Lake, AB
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C anada’s 2011 census reports:
464,335 STEPFAMILIES 10
%
OF CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 14 LIVE IN STEPFAMILIES
39 CHILDREN AT HOME 30,005 .2% OF COUPLES HAVE
CHILDREN LIVE WITH THEIR GRANDPARENTS, NOT THEIR PARENTS
29,950 1
.9
CHILDREN ARE IN FOSTER CARE
IS THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF CHILDREN PER FAMILY
ESTABLISHING THE LIFELONG
FEATURE
FAITH OF
OUR KIDS The intentional spiritual development of their children is a daily responsibility of parents BY GREG MCCOMBS
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e stand at a time in history when our “churched” kids have access to some of the best children’s and youth programs available. Yet a significant majority continues on an exodus away from the Church and away from a faith we thought was established. Today there are dedicated conferences, books and programs all aimed at addressing this alarming “faith exodus.” Conservative estimates peg the number at 65 per cent of our churched youth spiritually disengaging by the time they don a cap and gown for high school graduation. As a pastor, that discourages me; as a parent, it terrifies me! Lately, I’ve been surprised in my reading to find authors taking some pretty big swings at church Sunday School and youth programs, calling them little more than childcare or social entertainment centres. As a pastor, maybe I need to own some of that and be willing to consider that the Church may be part of the problem. However, as a parent, I certainly have to own the fact that Scripture makes it pretty clear whose problem this really is. In a study conducted by the Search Institute, 11,000 teens from 561 different congregations in the U.S. were surveyed and asked, “Who influences you most spiritually?” While the vast majority said that mom and dad were their top influencers, only 12 per cent of those youth were having spiritual conversations with mom and only five per cent with dad.1
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PROVEN RETENTION FORMULA A few millennia ago, Moses was to lead the people of Israel to a land filled with new possibilities and long-promised blessings. However, the land was also filled with foreign gods, temptations and distractions that were bound to draw the hearts of future generations away from God. Is today really any different than Moses’ day? Our kids face hundreds of distractions and foreign gods all around them, causing their hearts to wander aimlessly as they look to us for direction. In Deuteronomy chapter six, Moses gets right to the heart of the problem. Immediately after warning the people not to forget the Lord in verse four, and just before he lays out a clear strategy for parents to pass a living faith to the next generation in verse seven, he gets crystal clear on the issue: And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today (Deuteronomy 6:5-6, NLT). (Bold added). In two short verses Moses looks directly at the parents in the crowd and uses the words “you,” “your” or “yourselves” eight times to emphasize how this must first be born in our hearts before we pass it on to the next generation. When our children see our hearts transformed by the Living Word—through daily encounters with the Living Christ—their hearts will follow. Moses goes on to describe what this looks like in our daily lives: Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up (Deuteronomy 6:7, NLT). If you’re like most parents you are probably thinking, “What if I don’t know the answers to their questions?” What better opportunity to be vulnerable before your kids and say, “I’m not really sure of the answer, but why don’t we look it up and learn something together?” You don’t have to be super intelligent, just super intentional. A LIVING FAITH Moses made it clear that a living faith is passed on “as you go” about your day. Recently, my 12-year-old son was reviewing a Scripture verse before bed for an assignment the next day. I was in a rush to pray with him before moving on to my own plans for the evening and almost missed the moment. Instead, I asked if I could memorize it with him. He was grateful for the attention and glad for the help so he handed me the Bible and pointed to these verses. My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck (Proverbs 3:21-22). Are you kidding me? Even as I spoke it aloud I began by addressing “my son,” followed by some extraordinary
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The McCombs Family Photo Courtesy Greg McCombs
wisdom. We talked about what it meant to him and then I prayed and blessed him and turned out the light. What a “God moment” I would have missed if I had resorted to the common excuses of “I don’t have the time” or “I won’t know what to say” or “He probably won’t listen anyway.” It only took about 10 minutes but it was more valuable for both our souls than I could have hoped. I hadn’t planned it; it wasn’t a big deal or scheduled family devotions around the dinner table. It was simply an as-you-go kind of moment. Will he remember that particular moment six months or a year from now? Probably not. But I trust that a collection of similar moments throughout our kids’ lives will serve to strengthen their faith. Moms and dads, if we are to reverse the exodus among us, we first need a fresh encounter with Jesus—an encounter that settles our faith to establish the faith of our kids. If it’s real to you, it will become real to them. Greg McCombs, Director of Canadian Marriage and Family Network, is also a pastor, speaker and marriage coach. He and his wife, Angela, make their home in Calgary, AB with their two sons www.search-institute.org/downloadable/youth_in_protestant_churches.pdf
1
Recommended Resources for Building Lifelong Faith > Impress Faith on Your Kids by Mark Holmen > For helpful parenting resources, including the Search Institute Youth Survey mentioned in this article, visit www.cmfn.ca/resources
T
his summer, you can put your Love in Motion. You can bring hope to individuals and communities across the country and around the world. This ride needs you, us, together, to b ring God’s hope, change and freedom to people. God loves people, and he has called us to follow him and love each other. We believe that he is using Love in Motion to reach the hearts, needs and lives of people in communities near and far from yours. We believe that he’s chosen all of us, his Church, to get involved in his lifetransforming work of bringing hope. We believe that God has called us to know and share his love.
RIDE Sign up to ride your bicycle or motorcycle at loveinmotion.ca. You can register for the entire coast-to-coast ride or choose a one-week route. It will be a fun, lifechanging experience, and you’ll be riding so that people experience God’s love, hope and healing.
GIVE Riders are putting their Love in Motion. You can too! Give so riders can go. Your gifts will go into communities and instigate change in peoples’ hearts, lives and health. We are all connected, and whatever amount you give, it will multiply with other gifts to bring the love of Jesus and light up his world.
VISIT Riders will be travelling across the country to a local church near you. We’d love to see you there! You can be a real encouragement with your presence. We believe that you’ll be encouraged, too.
PRAY
Love in Motion, says, “The only way that Love in Motion will be successful is if we cover it in prayer. Prayer pulls back the darkness to bring God’s light, love and power in seemingly hopeless circumstances.” Your commitment to pray is a valuable way to be involved. Download a prayer guide at loveinmotion.ca/pray.
SHARE Spread the news! Love in Motion is for all of us. Invite friends along for the ride, share the motivation for the ride, and let them know how to get involved!
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW LOVE IN MOTION IS BRINGING GOD’S HOPE, VISIT LOVEINMOTION.COM/ PROJECTS. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE EMAIL MATT CAMPBELL AT MATT@LOVEINMOTION.CA. LOVE IN MOTION INVITES YOU TO JOIN IN THIS RIDE TO BRING HOPE!
Matt Campbell, National Director of
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a e r B
E C N E P R E SE N C E A PRES
Again, Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”
“I had to learn to tak life every second, t as I breathed, and b
John 20:21-22
A. B. Simpson
e h t a
R E W O P D N A R E W O P D AN
ke from him my spiritual to breathe himself in breathe myself out.”
Together, let us breathe in a fresh anointing of the presence and power of Jesus, asking him to fill “every pore and fibre of our being.” David Hearn, quoting A. B. Simpson
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perspectives
ON MISSION T O G E T H E R UNITY IS A POWERFUL STRATEGY WHEN IT COMES TO GOD’S GLOBAL MISSION BY MIKE LINNEN
I
have a fond memory from a few years ago when I caught up with a colleague in ministry, someone new to The Christian and Missionary Alliance, who had joined the staff of an Alliance church. During his first couple of years, he noticed his church had a strong missions emphasis, and while supportive, he was still figuring out what this was all about. He then had the opportunity to serve on a team that ministered to a regional gathering of Alliance International Workers. When I asked him how it went, he said, “Mike, my wife and I . . . well, we think maybe God is calling us to that work, too.” By God’s grace, this is the story of many in our Alliance family! There’s something wonderfully contagious about a people who, because of their encounter with Christ, purposefully direct their energies to be on mission together. My friend and his wife were hearing from International Workers about making disciples among unreached peoples by training the local leaders that God raises up—all for the dream of a self-sustaining church movement that demonstrates the glory of Christ by the way it transforms the people. In the context of prayer and
worship, the size and scope of God’s redemptive purposes became clearer for my friend. It no longer looked like a missions program, but a people arm-in-arm together in God’s redemptive, transformative purpose for the whole world.
life is meeting lay people who have never travelled overseas, and yet belong to the work of world missions just as much as our International Workers do. The role of praying for the work is a significant participation, a real joining in the spiritual battle faced POWER AND PURPOSE when the Gospel is crossing into “If you want to go fast, go alone. If new territory. The sacrificial giving you want to go far, go together.” This of resources is seen as a privilege. ancient African proverb attests to And fresh news about the obstacles the tremendous strength or the triumphs in working together over of the ministry is many years in missions. a highlight to be Our working together enjoyed, prayed over is actually one of the and discussed with very ways in which Jesus others. displays his glory. In other I have also words, our unity in him is seen some of the actually a divine strategy— best missions one of great power and teaching ever done purpose. accomplished Its power is that such by children’s an unlikely group of ministry leaders people in today’s world and Sunday School – Ancient African proverb can work together despite teachers. I know a myriad of differences. Its purpose some pastors who take the time to is clear, as Jesus himself prayed for preach specifically on the biblical us, “May they be brought to complete foundations for why we give world unity to let the world know that you missions such a priority. sent me” (John 17:23). Our unity in Others have joined in the work Christ is fresh revelation of his glory for shorter periods, where their to those around us. service could fit with the vision One of the great treasures in my of the international ministry, and
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together
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How Can a Seamless Link Advisor Serve Your Church? Seamless Link is a partnership between an International Worker (or couple) and a Canadian Alliance church or cluster of churches to reach people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They work together through prayer, funding, communication and possible site visits. Each Canadian district has a Seamless Link Advisor to help local Alliance churches and International Workers experience the joy of global ministry as a co-owned responsibility and privilege.
still others have visited International Workers in their host countries to pray and learn firsthand about what God is doing.
There is something utterly unique about the love between believers who are on mission together
KINGDOM FRIENDSHIPS The last benefit of kingdom partnership is perhaps not the most important, but I confess it is my favourite. There is something utterly unique about the love between believers who are on mission together, who have sacrificed, wept and rejoiced over long seasons of ministry. I am convinced this is a gift far too many believers never open, not realizing the treasure that lies in Christ-centred, Spirit-empowered and mission-focused relationships. How does an International Worker feel about the person who has woken up in the middle of the night, directed by God to intercede on their behalf? Or when someone
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has mobilized an entire church’s women’s ministry to meet vital needs? Or when one of us is reunited with an International Worker for whom we have prayed, and we then spend a long evening talking about all that God has done since the last time we met? My friend and his wife who were being nudged by the Spirit are now in another stage of discernment and preparation. While I am thrilled for them and all that they are going through, I am just as excited for their local church and others who will experience the gift of sharing in God’s grace with them. Have you known this gift? It awaits us as we intentionally take steps to press forward on mission together. Rev. Mike Linnen is Director of Seamless Link for The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada
Whether by assisting a missions committee in preparing events or responding to missions questions, they love introducing people to the ministry vision of our international teams, to see creative sparks fly when churches and their ambassadors own the mission together. More specifically, Seamless Link Advisors (also called District Missions Consultants) help by:
Linking churches and International
n
Workers together for a radical kingdom vision with the Seamless Link covenant.
Communicating information about our
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International Workers: their ministry visions, when they will be in Canada and financial updates regarding their main support through the Global Advance Fund.
Pointing leaders toward resources
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on missions (such as Kairos and Perspectives courses), cross-cultural ministry trip preparation tools and prayer mobilization seminars and ideas.
Serving alongside both your district
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leadership team and International Workers from your region in order to fan into flame the global heart of God among local churches.
FEATURE
FEATURE
PUTTING FAMILY FIRST
Insights into experiencing a personal rhythm of life within the busyness of the everyday BY KEN SHIGEMATSU
O
ur spiritual growth is best cultivated in our evenings. I decided that I would not dedicate more than households—with the people who have a front-row three nights per week to my work. Though there are seat in our lives. They see our faults and inconsistencies, sometimes exceptions to this rule (rules must be flexible), our self-flattery, our self-deception. Our family they are rare. Finally, I reaffirmed my commitment to a relationships are a powerful crucible God uses to refine weekly 24-hour Sabbath which includes family time.1 I admit I sometimes feel conflicted by these our character. boundaries. Some of the pastors I went I know this has been true in my own school with are now on the speaking life. When I was single, I travelled an I’M DISCOVERING tocircuit, pursuing national ministries average of once a month for a speaking and travelling around the world. engagement or a ministry-related THAT FAMILY There’s a part of me that loves that kind commitment. That pace altered slightly of life. But I also know that no one else when I got married, but didn’t change LIFE IS MORE can be a husband to my wife and a significantly. FULFILLING THAN father to my son. Then along came Joey, our first son. With my rhythm of life I experience Just six weeks after his birth, I left for a TRYING TO CLIMB peace, knowing that the deepest part of week-long ministry trip to Mexico City me wants to stay and be present with where I met with a small group of young THE LADDER OF my family. I want to be here, involved emerging leaders. My wife, Sakiko, in what God is doing in my local pleaded with me not to go, but at the time ACHIEVEMENT community. It may not be glamorous, I felt like my role as the mentor to this but here’s a little secret: I’m discovering group made my presence essential (and I that family life is more fulfilling than trying to climb the was too embarrassed to flake out a few weeks beforehand). ladder of achievement. I quietly hoped that Joey’s sleeping habits would Each January, I look back across the past 12 months magically improve in his seventh week. Instead, they and jot down the things for which I am most grateful. tanked. He screamed through entire nights. It was one of Without hesitating, I place my wife, Sakiko, and our son, the hardest weeks of Sakiko’s life. Joey, at the top of my list. RHYTHM OF LIFE Note: This article is based on a chapter from Ken Shigematsu’s When I returned, my wife and I had a long, tense bestselling book, God in My Everything (Zondervan 2013). conversation. It was more of a monologue—and I wasn’t the one preaching. After this unforgettable sermon Rev. Ken Shigematsu is senior pastor of Tenth Avenue Alliance from my wife, I cancelled my work-related travel for the Church in Vancouver, BC next year so I could spend more time at home. I set new boundaries for my work schedule and committed to being To read Ken’s “rule of life,” along with other examples, see the appendix of home each day at 5:15 p.m. God in My Everything. I also set new guidelines so I was around more in the 1
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FEATURE
Thriving in Marriage How cultivating grace, intimacy and communication strengthened their relationship over time BY CHERYL BUCHANAN
L
ast spring my husband and I received an invitation for the two of us to speak at our church’s MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers) on his favourite subject—sex. Although not overly thrilled with the idea, I realized this was an important subject for these women to discuss during the formative years of their marriage. The majority of women attending had been married less than 10 years, with two or more little ones demanding most of their time and attention. I suspected many were secretly hoping their pastor and wife would nod understandingly at their constant state of exhaustion and declare they no longer had to participate in the very act that produced these miraculous energyzappers until they watched the last one walk across the graduation platform.
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Without elaborating on the content of that discussion, I can say we were not able to give them the counsel they were looking for. Instead, we gave them hope and practical advice for laying a healthy foundation to carry them through the middle years so that the golden years are truly golden. Every stage of marriage requires mutual sacrifice. The principle of sowing and reaping significantly applies; we need to consider that the things we invest in now will be what we harvest later. Mark and I are now entering a season of discovering what fun it is for two middle-aged (okay, slightly older than middle-aged) codgers as we reap the benefits of some good seeds and hard work planted in those hectic early and middle years of marriage.
IN THE BEGINNING When I reflect on my early to middle years of marriage, I realize the most important assignment I accepted was not becoming the best cook, soccer coach or family administrator. It was discovering, accepting and becoming all God had created me to be. It was recognizing the season of life I was in and choosing not to let the emotional strains of that season determine my attitude and actions. I remember the middle season well. I was the boon of any organization looking for volunteers. As a stay-at-home mom with the gift of administration combined with enough people-pleasing and insecurity to not be able to say no, I was organizing everything from women’s retreats to school fairs, and in it all my resentment and frustration were growing. One day in my grumbling to God about all the things I had to do, I heard his voice gently speak and ask me to change my “have to” into “get to.” God’s little challenge began to eradicate a truckload of self-pity while reorienting me to a posture of thankfulness. It also began a journey of spiritual transformation and growth. I began to discover my strengths and weaknesses, my temperament and gifts. As I grew in my self-awareness, I became more secure in my identity. I was able to choose which activities to organize and which ones to leave for someone else. Most importantly, I learned how to navigate the communication dysfunction in our marriage. Mark was a verbal processor speaking out loud every idea and thought that popped into his head, whereas I had to think through every idea from start to finish before I could express it verbally. I found freedom in realizing I didn’t have to articulate a response to his every thought; I could just let him process and I could join in when I was able. I also discovered I could pursue my passions and grow in my gifts, not just organize everyone else’s. As my confidence and focus increased, my frustrations and resentments diminished. I became a better spouse by becoming a healthier self. FACE-TO-FACE One of the smartest things we did in the middle years of marriage was installing a bathtub built for two. For a long time we wanted a hot tub but something more important always required our finances. So when our 1970s blue bath tub needed replacing, we chose a big one with taps in the middle. After the kids were in bed we would slip into our bubbly oasis—without distractions of phones, televisions or computers—and focus on one another. Whether it is discussing family logistics or sharing heartaches and joys, our evening ritual continues to be a source of relaxation and reconnecting. Today
with the intrusion of media in every purse and pocket, I am so thankful for our long-standing practice of being unplugged in the tub. This past year Mark and I experienced another major transition. We moved from Vancouver Island, B.C. to Calgary, Alta., and from pastor to professor. Our kids, all young adults, come and go between university semesters and job contracts. We are enjoying the blessings of the golden years while we still have enough energy for adventure and the freedom to do it. As we approach our 30-year mark, I can say the one overarching attitude we’ve cultivated in our marriage is grace. Through the celebrations and sorrows, we have learned to extend grace to one another. We realize neither of us is perfect; we both lapse into periods of self-centredness or self-pity. We still communicate differently, but we can see God’s gift in the other and have become each other’s biggest fan. We also realize that neither of us can entirely fill all the needs of the other, but thankfully we know the One who can. As we walk with Jesus, he provides the strength and grace we need. And we are very thankful that our new home has a bathtub built for two, especially on cold Calgary nights. Cheryl Buchanan holds a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and has contributed to an anthology of woman-to-woman marriage advice. She resides in Calgary, AB with her husband, Mark. Photos Courtesy Cheryl Buchanan
FAST FACTS: MARRIAGE IN CANADA
IN 2011
46
.4% OF THE POPULATION AGED 15 AND OVER WAS LEGALLY MARRIED
73
.1% of adults aged 25-29 were never married
About 1 in 5
people in their late 50s were divorced or separated
Source: Statistics Canada
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FEATURE
Hooked on Porn The struggle to break free from painful and destructive cycles of sexual addiction
I
t was the summer of ’91, and my big brother drowned in a river just a few weeks after his high school graduation. I was 12 years old. To quell my pain and to escape the reality of my world falling apart, I found solace in pornography. Growing up in the church, I knew pornography was wrong, but I found myself lured in by the images I saw. What I saw filled a craving and an emptiness I felt at the core of my being. I was hooked. My relationship with porn continued through my teen years, into my years of studying at Bible college, and into my marriage and full-time church ministry. I hated the behaviour, and would often vow to never go back, yet I found myself returning to pornography time and time again.
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BY DANIEL KOMORI
SEXUAL ADDICTION Sexual addiction, a term coined by Dr. Patrick Carnes in the early 1980s, describes the behaviour and lifestyle of people who habitually turn to sex and sexual stimulation and are unable to stop. Fast forward to 2014 where one in eight online searches on computers, smart phones and tablets are for pornographic material. Statistics regularly show that upwards of 60 per cent of men and 20 per cent of women admit to being addicted to pornography. Porn brings temporary relief to a myriad of needs and desires because of its predictable payoff of pleasure. Hungry? Lonely? Tired? Had a fight with your spouse? Bored? Porn offers an escape from these unwanted feelings, making it highly addictive.
HOW TO QUIT PORN
FOU R ESSENTIAL S TEPS
1. B R E A K IS O L ATIO N. Bad habits fester in the dark, and so if you are alone in your struggle, you need to begin the process of sharing with trusted and safe people around you (like your pastor, trusted friends or another safe person). 2. S E E K ACCO U N TA BI LIT Y. The habits of porn addiction are deep, and it will take a long time of walking alongside others to break free. Join a support group or meet with others regularly to begin practicing honesty in community. 3. U N COV E R S PECI FIC PAT T E R N S. The motivations and patterns of porn addiction are unique to each individual. Learn to recognize your patterns of behaviour, weak areas and times of temptation (often referred to as triggers) and find healthy alternatives to meet your needs. 4. FI N D W IS D O M. Soak up God’s Word; use it as your sword to fight against temptation. Read some good literature on the topic to gain understanding. Meet with others who have also walked this path to gain guidance and insight.
For me, even though my initial foray into pornography was to ease emotional pain and loss in my life, I soon began turning to porn to fulfill a whole array of emotional, relational, physical and spiritual needs. Over the years, many of these habits became engrained in my patterns of thought and in how I learned to cope in life. POWER OF PORN Pornography can enter someone’s life through accidental means, or because of curiosity. However, because of its powerful nature, porn can evolve into becoming the answer we habitually turn to in order to meet unmet needs or stresses
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR MEN AND WOMEN W E BSIT E S www.covenanteyes.com www.xxxchurch.com www.livingwaterscanada.org BO O K S Surfing for God by Michael John Cusick Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction by Mark Laaser Shattered Vows by Debra Laaser Samson and the Pirate Monks by Nate Larkin
in life. Sadly, the effects of this habit are not without cost. Ongoing pornography use encompasses a host of negative effects. Pornography begins with the individual, but always has an impact on those closest to them. Immense guilt and shame can cause those who use porn to hold their struggles in secret from others, affecting their sense of personal worth and resulting in self-loathing. Engaging with pornography can consume significant emotional, sexual and spiritual energies necessary in our daily lives and for real relationships. Thus, habitual porn users often experience a diminishing capacity to engage emotionally in life, and have less patience for the rigours of real relationships— which are far more demanding than what interactions with porn require. Porn also begins to distort what people expect out of intimacy with others, particularly in the area of sexual intimacy. Comparing one’s spouse with porn actors can lead to avoidance and dissatisfaction, or even demanding viewed sexual practices with one’s spouse. When discovered within marriage, a massive breach of trust occurs and a deep sense of betrayal is common. I’ve heard many spouses say, “I feel like I’ve been cheated on. What else has been hidden from me? Can I ever trust my spouse again?” HOPE FOR CHANGE If you are reading this and realize you may have an addiction to porn, or you know someone who does, you might be wondering, “Is there hope for change?” I can say with absolute confidence that yes, change is possible and healing is worth pursuing. Some of the most significant transformations I’ve witnessed in individuals and marriages have taken place with people who were bound by pornography. God frequently uses brokenness as a catalyst for radical life change. It’s been a journey of 15 years now since I first began to honestly face my struggles with porn. My initial goal was to overcome and eradicate it. And while I’ve experienced much change and freedom in this area and continue to seek wholeness, I have great hope, both for my own ongoing journey and for those with whom I share my life. Daniel Komori is Associate National Director of Living Waters Canada. He and his wife, Tanya, attend North Point Community Church in Calgary, AB
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FEATURE
Raising Kids for the New
High-Tech
World
STRATEGIES PARENTS CAN USE TO EQUIP THEIR CHILDREN WITH THE PERSPECTIVES AND ATTITUDES NEEDED TO THRIVE IN THIS DIGITAL AGE BY DAVE BROTHERTON
I
consider myself a tech-savvy person. I work from an iPad. I am engaged daily on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn. Technology and the Internet have become a necessary part of my life; but for many, they dominate every aspect of life. As a parent, I am keenly aware of the potential dangers this new world carries for my kids. When I read that 59 per cent of teachers say media is causing their students to lack deep-thinking skills and to be thirsting only for instant gratification,1 I become even more concerned. Modern technology promotes a life of instant selfgratification; any question you have or any topic you are curious about is just a click away. Hearing that more than half of teens have been bullied online, I realize kids can’t even find a safe haven when they retreat to their own bedrooms—the bullying, predators and pornography follow them there. The secrecy in private viewing (on smartphones, personal laptops or TVs in kids’ bedrooms) can eliminate dialogue and create boundaries between kids and their parents. It can be scary stuff for the Christian parent, but it isn’t all bad. For the first time in history, we can have our Bibles
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with us everywhere we go. Our family pictures, homework and favourite music are as close as our pockets. World news is at our fingertips. High-quality TV programming can enrich education. Students can research and explore like never before. We can instantly connect with family, friends and even missionaries no matter where they are in the world. FORGING IDENTITIES The Barna Group has discovered that parents are just as dependent on technology as are their teens and tweens. The difference lies in purpose. For adults, today’s technology provides tools that make communication fast and easy. But for our kids, it’s far more than a tool—it’s their life, it’s their identity. These lives and identities our children are developing cannot be left in the hands of Facebook, YouTube or Google. Rather than passively allowing the content and culture on countless screens to be their roadmap, why not be purposeful in making God’s Word—forever relevant, living and active—the roadmap for their decisions and daily lives? Adults cannot let their voices, and more importantly,
the Spirit’s voice, be drowned out by the 24/7 access to media. Only a few decades ago, it was the conversation about the birds and the bees that terrified parents; now it’s about porn, cyberbullying or sexting. STEWARDING TECHNOLOGY Stewardship is a term we’ve come to associate with money. But it can apply to more—and it ought to apply to media and technology, since they define our use of time, our allocation of money, and our relationships. Committing to a stewardship of technology is one significant way to respond wisely to our modern world and to redeem what could otherwise be an enemy foothold. We need to figure out how to maximize the good while minimizing the risks of damage. This begins with setting a good example. Twenty per cent of youth say their parents have a “double standard when it comes to technology.”2 The digital world has influenced all members of the family, not just the younger generation. I am one of the parents who closely monitors their children’s online activity. I want my kids to be safe, aware and healthy in their habits. I want them to be living a full life and influencing the world for Christ. I want my children to be fluent in today’s high-tech world, taking advantage of the tremendous benefits without the contamination. Even more than stewarding technology in our homes, we are stewards of our children’s lives. Our Father has given us our kids as precious gifts. So let’s train up our children in the way they should go, and make the most of every opportunity for as long as we have them in our care.
MANAGING MEDIA: 10 TIPS FOR STEWARDING TECHNOLOGY USE IN YOUR HOME Keep screens (TV, smartphone, laptop) out
n
of bedrooms. Allow media and technology use only in open rooms like the kitchen or family room.
Turn the TV off during meals and while
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children are completing homework.
Treat screen time as a privilege kids need to
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earn, not a right they’re entitled to.
Try a weekday ban. Sports, schoolwork,
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church activities and family time are more than enough during the week.
Turn TV and movies into opportunities for
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teaching kids to evaluate the messages they see and hear each day.
Talk to other parents, your child’s teachers
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and your pastor about how they approach media in their homes and what they recommend.
Look at the ratings on video games, TV
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Rev. Dave Brotherton is National Youth Ministry Director of The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada, Associate Professor of Youth Ministry at Ambrose University College and Director of Legacy Youth Conference (www.legacyyouthconference.com)
shows and movies. Read reviews like Plugged In (www.pluggedin.ca).
Spend time together online. Teach your
n
kids Internet safety. Help them set privacy settings. Bookmark your child’s favourite sites so they can easily access these ones. Review their online history.
1 www.youthministrymedia.ca 2 “How Technology is Influencing Families.” May 23, 2011. https://www.barna.org/ barna-update/family-kids/488-how-technology-is-influencing-families
Don’t be afraid to get involved. Your
n
silence is permission for them to continue potentially unhealthy habits. Media consumption and technology use is worth regular check-ins and ongoing conversation.
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES > Viral: How Social Networking Is Poised to Ignite Revival by Leonard Sweet > 10 Essential Things Parents Need to Know About Cyberbullying (eBook)
Block objectionable material. Consider
n
using an Internet filtering program like Integrity Online (www.integrity.com) or Covenant Eyes (www.covenanteyes.com).
> Sexting: The Nine Things Every Parent Should Know (eBook)
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T
FEATURE
THE CHANGING FACE OF HUMAN COMMUNICATION In a world of technological saturation the directives of Scripture remain unchanged
C
ommunication in Bible times was different. No Facebook or notebook or phonebook; no iPod or iPad or iPhone. Technology as we know it did not exist. Communication back then meant people had to be within hearing distance of one another. History was passed from older to younger generations on winter nights around the fire or as they worked side by side in the fields or at the loom. The ear, not the eye, was the gatekeeper of the brain. The invention of the printing press radically changed communication.1 With the ability to mass-produce books, knowledge arrived in the hands of the common person. People could read the Bible for themselves. The ear was no longer mandatory for learning. Television introduced a new form of thinking. Quickmoving pictures and sound-bytes of information replaced quiet word-on-the-page contemplation. It demanded full attention. People sat side-by-side in their living rooms, so immersed in the lives and conversations on TV that they neglected their own. But television opened new doors to reach people with the Gospel. It brought church services to shut-ins and allowed for visual Christian programming to enter places in the world that could not otherwise be reached. Another irreversible change came with the Internet. Now each person sits alone at a computer, seeing, hearing and speaking with people around the world. Vast amounts of information—both truth and lies—are available to people with a click of the finger.
INFORMATION
THROUGH TIME
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BIBLE TIMES
BY ANNETTE FORD
People are more connected and yet more isolated than at any other time in history. Community has veered away from in-person hospitality, tangible helpfulness and face-to-face problem solving. It has become easy to “un-friend” someone, to disappear from relationships. But the Internet provides opportunities never known before. Multitudes of people can access information that stretches the mind and strengthens the soul. Strategic connections can be developed with people across many countries and the Gospel can go forward in ways never before possible. Communication technologies have changed our world dramatically, but the principles and directives of Scripture remain unchanged. Love God. Love one another. Practise hospitality. Love your enemy and do good to those who hurt you. Speak truth in love. Do not give up meeting together. Encourage one another. Feed the hungry, clothe the needy, invite in the stranger, care for the sick and visit the prisoners. Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. Though all may change, he will remain faithful. And so must we. Annette Ford, currently working on a PhD in Education at the University of Toronto/OISE, has a passion for international educational reform See Marshall McLuhan’s and Neil Postman’s works for more on the effects of
1
technology on society
PRINTING PRESS
TV
TAKE THIS CHALLENGE TAKE THIS CHALLENGE DO YOU CONTROL TECHNOLOGY OR DOES TECHNOLOGY CONTROL YOU?
A
1 2
3 4
5 6
7
media or tech fast is when you abstain from consuming a particular medium or technology. Tech fasts allow you to glance at who is leading whom in the dance (you or the modern technologies), who’s stepping on whose feet, and, ultimately, to ask the daring questions: “What does it all mean?” and “What’s the moral point?” Here are 13 examples of tech fasts. As you read through the list, reflect on which exercises resonate with you. Then choose one of them as an experiment. It is important that the experiment you choose be taken with utmost seriousness and dedication for the results to be clear and revelatory. Experience a fast for three days in a row from all television. Keep a journal to record your encounters with boredom. Record the time, date, situation/occasion and your response. Your journal entry will focus on your encounter with boredom for 10 days. Keep a journal record of your “distractions”—things, encounters, invitations—that divert you away from your own sense of intentional journey. Keep a journal to record your encounters with inspiration and being inspired—whenever you’ve been moved to tears by something, or read, watched or heard something that thrilled you or helped you understand something anew. It could be a quote from a book or a play, a Bible verse, a lyric from a song. Record your encounters for 10 days. Experience a fast for one week from movies—including at the theatre, on DVD and online. Experience a fast for one week from listening to any recorded music (live music is a fine fix). Nothing at home, nothing in the car. This only means you are not to be the initiator of this entertainment option. Experience a fast from any type of phones—yes, including your cell phone—for three separate 24-hour periods. This means neither accepting nor initiating phone calls. Exceptions are if your car breaks down or you are walking alone at night in an unfamiliar place.
8 Experience a fast for one week from any video games or gaming consoles. 9 Experience a fast for one week from the Internet. This means no surfing, no research, nothing for one week. 10 For 10 days, be especially focused on what you’re looking for when channel surfing with the television remote control. 11 Go on a one-kilometre walk for 10 straight days. No iPods or headphones are allowed. The walk is not about exercise; become familiar with your stream of consciousness and your surroundings. 12 Experience a fast from any online social network (like Facebook or Twitter) for five straight days. 13 Spend seven days trying not to engage in any mass media offerings out of boredom. All mass media offerings must be pre-set “appointments.” Think ahead and make an appointment with yourself or a friend to watch a particular movie or television show. Do not give in to the tempting distraction, “I wonder what’s on?” Used with permission from Dr. Paul Patton, Spring Arbor University
NOTICE OF
MEETING The General Assembly of The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada will convene July 2-6, 2014 at the Ottawa Convention Centre, Ottawa, Ontario to conduct the business of the corporation. Churches may send accredited delegates to General Assembly in keeping with the provisions of the General Bylaws. Others who are interested in the ministry of the C&MA are welcome to attend.
INTERNET Spring 2014
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FEATURE
He Came for This How one couple is constantly reminded to invite Christ into every aspect of their lives
W
hile some are seeking marriage, others are trying to get out. Despite the traditional values of our culture here in the Silk Road Region, divorce is common. Even if couples stay together, the men frequently take a mistress and start a “second family”—sometimes with, sometimes without his wife’s knowledge. A good friend of ours recently revealed to us that her husband of over 25 years was just caught in an affair that has been going on for years. She is caught between the misery of wanting revenge and the desire of wanting things to go back to the way they were before she found
WE FEEL THE WEIGHT OF THE IMPERFECTIONS WE BRING TO OUR OWN MARRIAGE out. For a woman here, though, her whole identity revolves around the men in her world. This is the same woman who hauled water up to her fifth floor apartment a week after giving birth to their sons! Yet our local friends in the Silk Road Region do not have the corner on dysfunction. Sadly, just a few months back, international workers like us, but from another organization, started posting their household items for sale online. Turns out they are done with the country, with each other, and are returning back to their home country.
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The reality is, no matter your background, no matter your passport country, marriage is hard work. The spiritual reality is that marriage is a covenant, the only other covenant in the Bible mentioned besides the one between God and man. That says it’s pretty important to our Father. It also means that it is often a primary area of attack by our enemy. We feel the weight of the imperfections we bring to our own marriage, and know that the road can be bumpy. But we are so grateful for his abundant grace that has carried us this far. And we are so grateful for those who pray for our marriage. FOR ALL OUR STRUGGLES We love Christmas in our house, and celebrating here takes on a new meaning without the commercialism of North America. We get to shape it to be what we want it to be. One little item stays out all year round. It’s a little baby Jesus in the manger. Blue and white porcelain—someone’s castoff from a broken nativity set, most likely. But we keep it out to remind us, in our marriage, in our parenting, in every aspect of our lives where we see our own imperfections and struggles, that He Came for This. The reminder of the baby in the manger isn’t for 25 days in December. The baby in the manger, the Saviour on the cross, is for every day, and every hour. For our marriages. For our families. For our loneliness. For all our struggles. Written by an International Worker couple serving in the Silk Road Region
FEATURE
PROTECTING
Future THEIR
Due diligence in estate planning now can leave a positive legacy for your family later BY BEN KONONOFF
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ho put his house into order when told he would die the next day? King Hezekiah. But what about the rest of us? Although Sam was 84 years of age, he had never prepared for his death, never taken the time to get things in order for his loved ones. Afterward, his family said, “Sam did not expect to leave us yet!” Since Sam did not plan realistically for his family’s life after his death, it meant they had to learn all about estate planning, last will and testaments, the significance of choosing beneficiaries and of creating a plan that adequately provides for a spouse and children. Sam’s failure to plan his estate intensified his family’s sense of loss. Sam had no will providing insight into his last wishes. He and his wife had never dialogued about the estate. Such a discussion could have allowed them to honour each other’s wishes in death. When Sam’s family attempted to determine where his accounts and insurance policies were located, they did not know where to begin. Sam could have easily made a list of each item, the institution holding the accounts and the location of the original paper work. His children even discovered that Sam owned two homes. But that was not all! The real surprise came upon learning that because he spent so much time with his favourite granddaughter, he had placed her name on the land title as a joint owner of his second home. Sam’s wife had no claim to that home. The cost of
Sign It!
71%
of Canadian adults do not have a signed power of attorney
putting the title back in her name would have been just that—costly! Their granddaughter’s husband could even insist the property belongs to him, which would certainly instigate a family feud. PREPARATION IS KEY “Sam did not expect to leave us yet” is a summation of life for all humanity. We never expect to die. We don’t want to think about it. Your personal due diligence in estate planning can be facilitated by contacting the Charitable Gift Planner at The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada. The Gift Planner can provide information from a Christian perspective to help direct you to professionals who can assist with estate work. Most of us will not receive a warning like King Hezekiah did, so let’s start the process now of getting our estates in order so that God will be honoured and our families will be protected. In the next issue of cmAlliance.ca we will examine Sam’s relationship with his church Note: Names and scenarios are entirely fictitious. The article is not intended to give legal advice. Ben is a Certified Fundraising Executive and is available to answer your questions. Call 604-557-6929 or email kononoffb@cmacan.org.
Ben Kononoff has served as a Gift Planner with The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada for more than 12 years
56%
of Canadian adults do not have a signed will
13%
of Canadians signed a will when they purchased a home or condo
From a survey conducted by Lawyers’ Professional Indemnity Co. www.lawpro.ca
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FEATURE
WALKING WHERE JESUS WALKED personally experiencing the Holy Land can bring the Bible to life for you and your family BY PATRICIA PADDEY
I
believe there is special power in stories. Stories touch our hearts and our souls. They inform our minds, challenge our thinking and fire our imaginations. Maybe that’s why God chose to reveal himself to us through words. Maybe that’s why the Word incarnate was a storyteller. But a Bible story—told about a far-off place and time—takes on new vibrancy, a new meaning, when that story’s setting surrounds you. When you sail on the Sea of Galilee and remember that Jesus stilled those very waters with a word. When you feel your ears pop as you drive up the winding road into Jerusalem and suddenly understand all those songs of ascent in the book of Psalms. When you visit Jerusalem and your guide says, “Daniel was born here.” Here. You realize that much of biblical history took place in this place. I admit that prior to travelling to the Holy Land, Israel wasn’t on my bucket list. But when two opportunities arose—one in 2006 and a second time just over a year ago—to go with a group of Christian journalists as a guest of the Israel Government Tourist Office, I jumped at the chance. I’m so glad I did. An island of democracy in the Middle East, “Israel’s government is diligent about the security of its own people, and even more so for
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its visitors,” says Ami Allon, Consul and Director of the Israel Government Tourist Office in Canada. Some 70,000 to 75,000 Canadian passport holders travel there each year; 35 to 45 per cent of them are repeat visitors. If you find yourself entertaining thoughts of visiting one day with your family or church family, here are some ideas to kick-start your planning.
CHOOSE YOUR ADVENTURE
you work with a tour operator, it’s three dimensional. They can share with you what works best.” Tour guides are worth every penny, even if travelling alone or in a small group. Israeli guides go through two years of intense training, where they study everything about the history and geography of Israel, explains Allon. Guides tend to be passionate citizens who love introducing people to their homeland. If it’s your second visit and you don’t mind putting in the effort to plan your own trip, you might like to forego a traditional travel package, but you don’t have to go it alone. You can call or email the Israel Tourist Office to get started.
One of the first things Christian travellers should decide when planning a trip to Israel is what sort of experience they’re hoping for, suggests Allon. Options are almost limitless. Making a pilgrimage? You might want FELLOW PILGRIMS to take The Gospel Trail, a 60-kilometre The size of group you travel with can route that leads from Jesus’ hometown of have a significant impact on your overall Nazareth to Capernaum. experience. During my first trip to Israel Considering a study tour? Professors in 2006, I was one in a group of only six; from seminaries across Canada lead on my most recent visit, there were 20 trips that include lectures, readings and travellers. opportunities to engage with locals. Our smaller group allowed more time Craving adventure? Consider a for questions and individual reflection backpacking excursion, camping at each site, and more opportunity for in the Negev desert or joining an personal interaction with the tour guide. archaeological dig. Photos Courtesy Doug Paddey Our larger group was able to enjoy rich Before you get too far into your experiences like singing the doxology on planning, you’ll also need to determine the banks of the Jordan River as two in your budget and desired length of stay. our group were baptized and, later, lifting our voices in Visiting during the winter or low season (November to worship and hearing our praises dance in reverberation February) guarantees cheaper flights. And while staying in a five-star hotel might be your dream, mixing it up with around the domed ceiling of the Dormition Abbey on Mount Zion. stays in hostels or even a kibbutz guesthouse might allow Israel is a place of God’s own choosing; it’s the land of you to extend your visit. promise, the land where our faith began. My experiences With two full days of travel required to get to and from Israel (approximately 11 hours each way), most visitors find in the Holy Land gave new life to my understanding of the Greatest Story ever told. It was as if I’d spent a lifetime at least 10 days on the ground is needed to avoid the kind reading my Bible in black and white. Suddenly, I was of trip that keeps you running where Jesus simply walked. reading it in colour.
GO WITH A PRO
If it’s your first time travelling to the Holy Land, consider Patricia Paddey is a Mississauga-based freelance writer. She attends Sheridan Park Alliance Church contacting a tour company that specializes in trips to Israel. They’ll ask you the right questions to help you select the Go Israel YouTube best tour for your family. ISRAEL ONLINE www.youtube.com/user/israeltourism “Planning a trip, building an SOME HELPFUL LINKS TO GET YOU STARTED itinerary yourself on the Internet Especially for Evangelicals Israel Tourist Office can be two dimensional,” says 416-964-3784 or info@igto.ca www.evangelicalisraelexperience.com Jerry Adler, Public Relations and Communications Director for Go Israel Website The Spirit of the Holy Land YouTube the Israel Government Tourist www.goisrael.com www.youtube.com/user/HolyLandVisit Office. “But when you have someone on the ground, when
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FEATURE
OPENING YOUR
DOOR TO THE WORLD
How to help newcomers to Canada Fully integrate into your community BY HARV MATCHULLIS
A
Bhutanese family arrived in Calgary after a 10-year stay at a refugee camp in Nepal. An Iranian family, persecuted for their faith, made their way here via Turkey. Now there’s Saad, a young single professional from Iraq. Besides being immigrants, what they share in common is me. Whenever I commit to helping a newcomer to Canada integrate into my city, I pay a price. It costs me time. Time spent in offices; in the car running errands with them; on the phone trying to understand their questions; in stilted English conversations about why things are as they are in Canada. It would be so much easier to plug them into some program or ministry. Then I could feel they were being “helped” and receiving “ministry.” And I would be let off the hook.
IMMIGRATION TRENDS: CANADA
Permanent residents by age and source area, 2012 10K
20K
30K
40K
50K
60K
70K
0 to 14 years
15 to 24 years
25 to 44 years
NEWCOMERS TO CANADA ARE HONOURED TO HAVE YOU ASK ABOUT THEIR LIVES
45 to 64 years
Africa and the Middle East Asia and Pacific Europe and the United Kingdom
GOD’S DIVINE DESIGN Responding to immigration is not a trend you or your church can opt out of. Opening your doors to others beyond your current group (however you define that), is undeniably founded in the very character of God. We all have equal value because we are created in God’s image. Therefore all peoples, despite their beliefs and practices or our personal fears and perceptions of them, are loved by God. Of all human communities, the Church is to be the most welcoming because of this creation-image foundation. Have you ever considered that God purposely designs the mixing of peoples? Immigration has a divine design. God moves the nations into our neighbourhoods so that they “... seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him” (Acts 17:27, ESV). Christians often say, “The world is at our door.” What door? Immigrants are certainly at the doors of our institutions (including our churches). But there is a door with greater impact. It’s the door to your life that holds profound potential for their integration into Canadian life and spiritual transformation. This is the door that best welcomes an immigrant into Canada.1 It’s how a newcomer is most clearly exposed to the person of Jesus. How can you help newcomers to Canada integrate into and participate fully in your community? Here is a list of suggestions to get you started. 1 De-clutter your life. Helping someone transition into a
United States
65 years or more
South and Central America
Permanent residents by top source countries, 2010 – 2012 10K
20K
30K
40K
Philippines China, People’s Republic of India United States United Kingdom Pakistan 2010
France
2011
Iran
2012
Haiti United Arab Emirates Source: Citizenship and Immigration Canada
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new land, language and culture is time-consuming. Just rearranging your schedule won’t work. Create new space. 2 Volunteer with agencies. If your church doesn’t have a program or ministry yet to new Canadians, you don’t need to start one. Be salt and light by partnering with local immigrant-serving agencies. They are often desperate for quality volunteers to be a loving host family for new Canadians, teach English or be a conversation partner, mentor a new Canadian skilled worker or take immigrants to their appointments.
through the issues you choose to address in conversation. 7 Prepare to change. Integration is a two-way street. You, personally, and your church, corporately, will discover opportunities to change as you are exposed to new cultures, worldviews and perspectives. Just as the new Canadian integrates with “us,” we can integrate with “them” to create a new “we.”
3 Be curious. Newcomers to Canada are honoured to have you ask about their lives. Respectfully inquire about their homeland, families, food, culture, their experience coming to Canada and what they miss.
8 Be together. There’s no better way (in any culture) to get to know someone than by spending time together. Plan an excursion, invite them for a meal, go for a walk, watch a movie. Life-on-life still endures as the primary pathway for the communication of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That’s something all of us can do. No missionary training needed.
4 Show patience and compassion. Transition can be painful. Leaving country, culture and community behind is traumatic. Let them talk, reminisce, cry.
We were all foreigners at one point. Christ opened his door and welcomed us with open, unprejudiced, loving arms. Pass it on and let the world into your world.
5 Celebrate their culture. Join their cultural events. Highlight their culture in your church during services or by hosting an event to celebrate new Canadians in your community.
Harv Matchullis is Encompass Partnerships Facilitator for the Western Canadian District and lives in Calgary, AB
6 Develop an awareness of global issues. Pray for their countries, especially when conflict or disaster is occurring. Let them know you are aware and that you care. Show it
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For more information go to: www.transformcma.ca/are-we-ready When Jason Kenney was Canada’s Minister of Immigration, I once heard him
1
state in a speech to Calgary’s Ministerial Association: “We can provide funding for programs but what we cannot provide is love and community.”
resources
Alliance-Generated Resources
Friend Me: Turning faces into lasting friendships
By Donna Carter
With the rise of social media, friendship today is often decided by the click of a mouse; yet even with hundreds of “friends,” we can still be lonely. With warmth and humour, Donna reveals how to thrive in real relationships. She uses her own friendships to illustrate how everyone needs at least one intimate friend, the need for being there for one another and how to build good friendships and identify toxic relationships. She closes by describing the ultimate friendship with Christ. This is a relevant book for a Bible study group, for those seeking new friends and for those wishing to deepen their relationships with acquaintances. Donna and her youth evangelist husband, Randy, live in Calgary, Alta. Together they founded and lead Straight Talk Ministries.
Available in paperback from your local Christian bookstore or online at: amazon.com whitakerhouse.com christianbook.com
Something Painful This Way Comes
Caterflies and Butterpillars
God in My Everything
In the midst of struggling with kidney disease, depression and anxiety, Tim writes about his long and difficult road, and God’s presence throughout the journey. Realizing we all suffer in different ways, Tim shares about his suffering, endurance, doubt, faith and ultimately God’s mercy and kindness. This is not a theological study, but rather one man’s reflections as he ventures to understand why this has happened and where God is in the midst of it all. He describes answers to his prayers and how we can learn to handle suffering. He concludes with a journaling section for readers to process their own doubts and struggles, using verses from the Psalms as a guide. Tim is Pastor of Worship and Creative Arts at RockPointe Church in Calgary, Alta.
A caterpillar metamorphoses into a beautiful butterfly, but we humans seem to morph back and forth in our transformation. We are works in progress. Tyler uses funny family situations and her joys and struggles as a wife and mother to illustrate her determination to keep seeking more of God in the middle of it all. Being real and honest, her transparency inspires. She doesn’t pretend to have all the answers but does help you try to figure it out, sometimes leaving you laughing, sometimes crying, but always with something to think about. Tyler and her husband attend Heartland Alliance Church in Sherwood Park, Alta. They have five children (one with special needs) and a dog. She has worked with foster families and has led thriving women’s ministries.
Using the metaphor of a trellis, Ken addresses each and every aspect of our lives by sharing practical tools to help us gain balance in daily living. He draws on lessons learned from ancient monks, providing guidance for modern times. Ken’s use of clear, concise language makes this book an easy read. His personal stories and humorous anecdotes add interest, whether about his shoplifting, drug-using misadventures as a teen, life as a businessman in Tokyo, or experiences as a family man. He guides readers to create a personal, flexible structure for life which is adaptable to any situation. But beyond writing a plan, you will discover how to practise a sustainable rhythm even with your busy schedule. (See article on page 33). Ken is Senior Pastor at Tenth Church in Vancouver, B.C.
Available in paperback from your local Christian bookstore or online at: amazon.com lulu.com
Available in paperback from your local Christian bookstore or online at: amazon.com books.google.ca chapters.indigo.ca
Available in paperback from your local Christian bookstore or online at: amazon.com zondervan.com
By Timothy James
By E. Tyler Rowan
By Ken Shigematsu
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personnel updates
Personnel Updates
The following personnel changes are as reported by the district offices, and compiled by Debra Marritt, for the period July 1, 2013 – December 31, 2013. NEW WORKERS n Abbott, Rob, Associate Pastor— Worship Producer, Beulah Alliance Church, Edmonton, AB n An, Andrew, Interim Pastor of Mandarin Ministries, Regina Chinese Alliance Church, SK n Anderson, Elizabeth, Children’s Pastor, University Drive Alliance Church, Lethbridge, AB n Arshi, Bob, Youth Pastor, Calgary Punjabi Christian Church Fellowship, AB n Berends, Timothy, Senior Pastor, First Alliance Church, Scarborough, ON n Brown, Todd, Associate Pastor (Discipleship and Worship), Heritage Alliance Church, Abbotsford, BC n Carson, Stewart, Lead English Pastor, South Edmonton Alliance Church, AB n Cheng, Alex, Assistant Pastor (Youth Ministry), North Richmond Alliance Church, BC n Cooper, Lucas, Senior Pastor, Bayview Glen Church, Thornhill, ON n Crocker, AJ, Director of Student Ministries, Moose Jaw Alliance Church, SK n Daugherty, Myra, Director of Children’s Ministries, Moose Jaw Alliance Church, SK n De La Torre Cabanas, Fernando, Youth Pastor, Primera Iglesia Alianza Hispana, Toronto, ON n Doherty, Tim, Community Life Pastor, Beulah Alliance Church, Edmonton, AB n Driedger, Caleb, Director of Youth Ministries, Russell Alliance Church, MB
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Figueroa, Luz, Family and Children’s Pastor, Tenth Avenue Alliance Church, Vancouver, BC n Frias, Sherwin, Director of Children’s Ministries, Southview Alliance Church, Calgary, AB n Garvin, Matt, Pastor of Community Engagement/Mission, St. Albert Alliance Church, AB n Girvan, Chris, Youth Pastor, Innisfail Alliance Church, AB n Guirgis, Hany, Pastor of Arabic Ministries, Beulah Alliance Church, Edmonton, AB n Harasym, Cory, Life Group Associate Pastor, First Alliance Church, Calgary, AB n Harnett, Kyle, Church Planter Apprentice, RockPointe Church, Calgary, AB n Hau, Patrick, Youth Pastor, Newbern Memorial Chinese Alliance Church, Vancouver, BC n Heidt, Steve, Youth Pastor, Harvest Hills Alliance Church, Calgary, AB n Hilton, Clay, Senior Pastor, Native Christian Fellowship, Fort McMurray, AB n Holloway, Dalton, Part-Time Pastor of Worship Ministries, First Alliance Church, Scarborough, ON n Ily, Pierre, Senior Pastor (Church Planter), Église Chinoise de Québec, QC n Jefferies, Daniel, Senior Pastor, AB n Johnson, Rob, Associate Pastor, Daysland Alliance Church, AB n Katzberg, Jack, Senior Pastor, Good News Chapel, Regina, SK n Klassen, Logan, Associate Pastor, Shaunavon Alliance Church, SK n Klatt, Alana, Director of Worship, North Shore Alliance Church, North Vancouver, BC n
Klob, Dave, Worship/Music Pastor, First Alliance Church, Calgary, AB n Krause, Sam, Youth Pastor, Kilcona Park Alliance Church, Winnipeg, MB n Kruse, Tristan, Pastor of Jr. High and Missions, Grande Prairie Alliance Church, AB n Laine-Yip, Lisa, Part-Time Director—Youth and Young Adults, Halifax Chinese Alliance Church, NS n Lam, Stephen, Assistant Pastor, Vancouver Fountain Alliance Church, BC n Lau, Karen, Youth Pastor, Newbern Memorial Chinese Alliance Church, Vancouver, BC n Lihaven, Keith, Westhills Youth Pastor, RockPointe Church, Calgary, AB n Ma, Jinping, Associate Pastor— Discipleship, Montreal Chinese Alliance Church, QC n Mohr, David, Campus Pastor, RockPointe Church, Calgary, AB n More, Tom, Other, Midtown Alliance Church, Toronto, ON n Poon, Kim Kee Man, Assistant Pastor, Scarborough Chinese Alliance Church, ON n Ram, Alvin, Other, Tenth Avenue Alliance Church, Vancouver, BC n Ramsden, Greg, Worship Arts Pastor, Sherwood Park Alliance Church, AB n Schwanke, Luke, Youth Pastor, Westlife Church, Calgary, AB n Shaw, Melanie, Children’s Pastor, Cochrane Alliance Church, AB n Silcock, Karlie, Pastor of Children and Family Ministries, Summit Community Church, Richmond Hill, ON n
personnel So, Eugene, Youth Pastor, Richmond Chinese Alliance English, BC n St. John, Jude, Interim Pastor, West London Alliance Church, ON n Tiv, Jennifer, Other, Burlington Alliance Church, ON n Tancongco, Odie, Assistant Pastor, Saskatoon New Life Community Fellowship, SK n Wang, George, Lead Pastor, Peace Portal Alliance Church, Surrey, BC n Wee, Steven, Associate Pastor, Crucible Church, Richmond, BC n Werners, Solange, Director of Family Ministries, Rexdale Alliance Church, Etobicoke, ON n Westerholm, Paul, Pastor of Youth and Young Adults, Burlington Alliance Church, ON n Wong, Brian Hiu Kwan, Senior Pastor, Toronto Jaffray Chinese Alliance Church, Scarborough, ON n Wong, Symon, Assistant Pastor, Vancouver Chinese Alliance— Fraser Lands Church, BC n Young, Spencer, Student Ministries Associate, First Alliance Church, Calgary, AB n
FIELD ASSIGNMENT n Germany: Hans and Ruth Fung, Support Ministry, in August. n Germany: Ralph and Ruth Shareski, Church Ministry, in December. n Ghana: Marion Dicke, Support Ministry, in August. n Guinea: Daniel and Melodie Ibsen, Church Ministry, in July. n Japan: Doug and Carol Woon, Church Ministry, in December. n Niger: Kristi Hopf, Compassion Ministry, in July. n Niger: Paul and Chantelle McIver, Compassion Ministry, in December. n Niger: Tim and Brenda Tjosvold, Support Ministry, in July. n Serbia: Daniel and Vera Kuranji, Church Ministry, in November. HOME ASSIGNMENT Mexico: Paul and Cindy Ens, in August (Church Ministry). n Mexico: Richard and Hope Reichert, in October (Church Ministry). n
PERSONNEL CHANGES n Adamczyk, Mike, Chaplain-OnLoan, Colorado Springs, USA n Aitken, Cameron, Youth Ministry, HarbourView Community Church, Victoria, BC n Alton, David, Former Worker n Bachmann, Robert, Unassigned n Baek, Sang-Man, Former Worker n Beh, Andy, Youth Ministry, Richmond Capstan Alliance, BC n Boyd, Dwayne, Executive Pastor, Vernon Alliance Church, BC n Cameron, Malcolm, Former Worker n Carmichael, David, Pastor of Congregational Care, Peace Portal Alliance Church, Surrey, BC n Carr, Anna, Children’s Pastor, Chilliwack Alliance Church, BC n Chalmers, Kristal, Worship Ministry, Fort St. John Alliance Church, BC n Cheung, Titus, Worker Emeritus n Chu, Josef, Chaplain, Calgary, AB n Chui, Alfred, Senior Pastor, North Edmonton Alliance Church, AB n Cyr, Scott, Worship and Discipleship Pastor, Vernon Alliance Church, BC n Delamont, Brian, Senior Associate Pastor, Kamloops Alliance Church, BC n Demoline, Andrew, English Pastor, Burnaby Alliance Church, BC n Diamond, Joel, Senior Pastor, Nipawin Alliance Church, SK n Diamond, Neal, Former Worker n Dickie, Scott, Lead Pastor, Peace Portal Alliance Church, Surrey, BC n Dobson, Amy, Former Worker n Drewlo, Ed, Transition Pastor, Erindale Alliance Church, Saskatoon, SK n Duke, Holly, Missions Pastor, Chilliwack Alliance Church, BC n Dunbar, Dan, Unassigned n Dundas, Rocky, Unassigned n Dunfield, Tim, Former Worker n Escamilla, Pedro, Associate Pastor —Lighthouse Campus, Beulah Alliance Church, Edmonton, AB n Fairholm, Dan, Former Worker n Faria, Carla, Church Administrator, Richmond Alliance Church, BC
Fedorak, Al, District Superintendent, Canadian Midwest District, Regina, SK n Felts, Tom, Unassigned n Florell, Chase, Unassigned n Ford, Stephen, Seamless Link Advisor, C&MA in Canada, Toronto, ON n Fox, Jamie, Pastor of Young Adults Ministry, Sevenoaks Alliance Church, Abbotsford, BC n Francois, Jean Davius, Former Worker n Freeman, Ron, Unassigned n Friesen, Reg, Lead Pastor, Terrace Alliance Church, BC n Gagnon, Michael, Senior Pastor, Église ACM de Rimouski, QC n Gasque, Ward, Unassigned n Gomez, Tyler, Former Worker n Gooding, Bill, Former Worker n Gubbins, David, Youth Ministry, Heritage Alliance Church, Abbotsford, BC n Guzy, Diane, Family Ministries, Vernon Alliance Church, BC n Habacon, Ricardo, Former Worker n Haensel, Robin, Director of Church Development, Canadian Midwest District, Regina, SK n Hahn, Laura, Unassigned n Hardy, Kevin, Youth Ministry, Fort St. John Alliance Church, BC n Hargrave, Jamie, Former Worker n Henry, Camille, Unassigned n Herrod, David, Former Worker n Ho, Brian, Lead Pastor, Crucible Church, Richmond, BC n Hodge, Jason, Senior Pastor, Martensville Alliance Church, SK n Hodson, Bill, Chaplain—Air Force Base n Hon, Mariana, Former Worker n Hooge, Doug, Former Worker n Houghton, Vicki, Compassion and Care Ministries, Vernon Alliance Church, BC n Hunter, Rae, Unassigned n Igel, Lynae, Former Worker n Jacobs, Josh, Unassigned n Johnston, Laurence, Lead Pastor, Penticton Alliance Church, BC n Kadun, Nick, Pastor of Creative Arts and Worship, Airdrie Alliance Church Network, AB n Kerr, Wayne, Worker Emeritus n Kinniburgh, Carmen, Family Ministries, Vernon Alliance Church, BC n Kirk, Ed, Unassigned n
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Klassen, Jake, Adult Ministries, Vernon Alliance Church, BC n Knott, Mike, Pastor of Youth and Worship, Mountainview Alliance Church, Langley, BC n Kovacs, Darian, Former Worker n Ku, Jeffrey, Associate Pastor, North Richmond Alliance Church, BC n Langlois, Allan, Lead Pastor, Quinte Alliance Church, Belleville, ON n Lee, Sam, Former Worker n Leung, Chung, Cantonese Pastor, Burnaby Alliance Church, BC n Lewis, David, Transitional Pastor, ON n Lim, Becky, Assistant Pastor— Children, Vancouver Chinese Alliance—Fraser Lands Church, Vancouver, BC n Lim, Eddy, Unassigned n Lim, Sam, Assistant Pastor— Youth, Vancouver Chinese Alliance—Fraser Lands Church, Vancouver, BC n Ling, James, Former Worker n Livingston, Charity, Unassigned n Lo, Ricky, Unassigned n Logan, Bob, Associate Pastor, Mill View Alliance Church, Edmonton, AB n Lonie, Glen, Worker Emeritus n Lysholm, Jeff, Associate Pastor of Administration and Youth, Dawson Creek Alliance Church, BC n MacIntyre, Conrad, Former Worker n Madden, Barry, Associate Pastor— Congregational Life, Mission Creek Alliance Church, Kelowna, BC n Magnus, Dieter, Transitional Pastor, Leduc Alliance Church, AB n Magnus, Matthew, Senior Pastor, Pineview Alliance Church, Grande Cache, AB n Mak, Albert, Associate Pastor— Cantonese, Ottawa Chinese Alliance Church, ON n Malnis, Gerry, Assistant Pastor—Missions, Vernon Alliance Church, BC n Marineau, Daniel, Former Worker n McDowell, Grant, Lead Pastor, Cranbrook Alliance Church, BC n McLeod, Barry, Associate Pastor, Sherwood Park Alliance Church, AB n McNarry, Brian, Interim Lead n
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Pastor, Grand Valley Community Church, Brandon, MB n Miller, Kyle, Unassigned n Moffatt, Mike, Former Worker n Moore, Aaron, Discipleship Pastor, University Drive Alliance Church, Lethbridge, AB n Morelli, David, English Ministry Pastor, Surrey Christian Alliance English, BC n Morelli, Mike, Former Worker n Morrison, Norm, Interim Executive Pastor, Sevenoaks Alliance Church, Abbotsford, BC n Mounanga, Désiré, Other (Church Planter), Montreal, QC n Ng, Gershom, Worker Emeritus n Ngan, Howard, Part-Time Pastor of Adult Ministry and Caring—English Congregation, Zion Alliance Church— English, Markham, ON n Nouneh, Fady, Former Worker n Oerzen, Carol, Former Worker n Olson, Rob, Youth Ministry, Victoria Pacific Rim Alliance Church, BC n Palsky, Brian, Corporate and Community Chaplain, University Drive Alliance Church, Lethbridge, AB n Parkman, Rob, Unassigned n Peachey, Tom, Eckville Site Pastor, AB n Perry, Jim, Former Worker n Poon, Alvin, Cantonese Lead Pastor, Burnaby Alliance Church, BC n Poon, John, Associate Pastor, North Richmond Alliance Church, BC n Prediger, Casey, Former Worker n Ralph, Peter, Associate Pastor, Portage Alliance Church, Portage La Prairie, MB n Reilly, Philip, Former Worker n Rempel, Errol, District Superintendent, Canadian Pacific District, Surrey, BC n Rensberry, Jennie, Former Worker n Ruten, Woodrow, Unassigned n Sawatzky, Karla, Director of Children’s Ministries, Territorial Drive Alliance Church, North Battleford, SK n Schmeichel, Arni, Transition Pastor, Strasbourg Alliance Church, SK n Sears, Jeff, Former Worker
Seo, Young, Unassigned Sherbino, Michael, Unassigned n Short, Chad, Former Worker n Siebenmorgen, Phil, Youth Ministry, Maple Ridge Alliance Church, BC n Smith, Chris, Lead Pastor, The Bridge, Winnipeg, MB n Snowsell, Doug, Transition Pastor, Churchill Alliance Church, MB n Spencer, Evan, Former Worker n Stanley, Richard, Unassigned n Stewart, Shona, Director of Dignity House Ministries, Kilcona Park Alliance Church, Winnipeg, MB n Stregger, Mary, Children’s Ministry, Fort St. John Alliance Church, BC n Sun, Thomas, Mandarin Lead Pastor, Burnaby Alliance Church, BC n Tien, Daniel, Former Worker n Ting, Paul, Unassigned n Tong, Norman, Lay Pastor, Vancouver Chinese Alliance—Knight Street Church, Vancouver, BC n Trigg, Kyle, Youth Pastor, Vernon Alliance Church, BC n Truong, Thich, English Pastor, Emmanuel Alliance Church, Nepean, ON n Turcotte, Andre, Senior Pastor, Cobourg Alliance Church, ON n Tze, Tim, Unassigned n Veer, Kyle, Worship Ministry, Maple Ridge Alliance Church, BC n Velikodnjis, Dennis, Unassigned n Vincent, Stephen, Unassigned n Walcott, Alexa, Unassigned n Watt, Jeff, Worship and Creative Arts Pastor, RockPointe Church, Calgary, AB n Weber, Grant, Special Ministries Worker n Westell, Todd, Senior Pastor, New Hope Community Church, Cole Harbour, NS n Wheeler, James, Assistant Pastor, Southview Alliance Church, Calgary, AB n Widdifield, Debbie, Unassigned n Wiens, Will, Campus Pastor, Vernon Alliance Church, BC n Wilson, Sue, Unassigned n Wong, Bill, Lay Pastor, Vancouver Chinese Alliance— Knight Street Church, BC n Wong, Doris, Elderly and Singles Ministry, Burnaby n n
personnel Alliance Church, BC Wong, Jacob, Unassigned n Wong, Matthew, Minister-at-Large n Zhai, David, Acting Lead Pastor, Vancouver Westside Alliance Church, BC n
ORDINATIONS n Allen, Rev. Catlin, Tenth Avenue Alliance Church, Vancouver, BC n Au, Rev. P.K., South Gate Alliance Church, Calgary, AB n Braun, Rev. Nathan, Fort Saskatchewan Alliance Church, AB
Chan, Rev. Helen, Chaplain, Calgary, AB n Dolfo-Smith, Rev. Mardi, North Shore Alliance Church, North Vancouver, BC n Dueck, Rev. Henry, Morden Alliance Church, MB n Gubbins, Rev. David, Heritage Alliance Church, Abbotsford, BC n Im, Rev. Daniel, Beulah Alliance Church, Edmonton, AB n Kang, Rev. Dan, Living Hope Christian Fellowship, Courtney, BC n Matheson, Rev. Dan, Tenth n
Avenue Alliance Church, Vancouver, BC Schutz, Rev. Gordon, Fort Saskatchewan Alliance Church, AB n Scott, Rev. Owen, High River Alliance Church, AB n Vincent, Rev. Stephen, Saskatoon, SK n
NEW CHURCHES n Laval, QC: Église Sanctuaire De La Grace n North York, ON: LightPoints CLOSED CHURCHES n Pierrefonds, QC: Montreal Indonesian Alliance Fellowship
With the Lord DeGaris, Eleanor, October 4, 2013 Eleanor DeGaris was born on March 20, 1927, into the home of Rev. Fred and Nora Sparke, the first Alliance pastor in Quebec, who started Fairview Alliance Church. Eleanor was married to Milson, entering ministry with the Alliance in 1978. Together they served at Sevenoaks Alliance Church in Abbotsford, BC, the Canadian Bible College in Regina, SK, Tenth Avenue Alliance Church in Vancouver, BC, and Gregory Drive Alliance Church in Chatham, ON. Throughout her life and in her battle with Alzheimer’s, she never stopped loving her Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, knowing that she would one day see him face-to-face. Eleanor is remembered by her husband of 65 years, Milson DeGaris, son, Dan, and other family members.
Plum Coulee, MB on April 1, 1931. Following Bible training as well as nurse’s training, she felt God’s call to the mission field. In preparation, she attended Canadian Bible College in Regina, SK in 1960. Margaret served in Ecuador from 1962 to 1976, doing medical work as well as being a house mother and teacher in a junior high school. She was much loved by the people she served. Margaret continued serving through other missions agencies, finally relocating to Abbotsford, BC in 1990. She died suddenly on April 21, 2013, and will be sadly missed by her extended family.
n
Gerbrandt, Margaretha (Margaret), April 21, 2013 Margaret Gerbrandt was born in
n
Graves, Rev. Eldred, July 29, 2013 Eldred Graves will be remembered for his years of ministry in the Western Canadian District. Following training at Prairie Bible Institute and Canadian Bible College, Eldred pastored at Strathmore Alliance Church, AB, followed by several years at Marwayne Alliance Church,
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AB, and four years as executive pastor at Stony Plain Alliance Church, AB. Eldred retired from his position as senior pastor at Viking Alliance Church, AB. He now rests peacefully in the presence of his Lord. Eldred is lovingly remembered by his wife of 49 years, Phyllis, sons, Fred and Keith, and extended members of the family. Wunsch, Gordon, May 17, 2013 Gordon Wunsch was born on August 28, 1927 in Elkwater, AB, where he later became senior pastor of the Alliance church for 10 years. This was followed by years of ministry as senior pastor at the Alliance church in Irvine, AB. At the age of 85, Gordon went home to be with the Lord he served. Described as a kind, gentle, caring man, Gordon will be sadly missed by his wife, Wendy, and family.
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now you know
Protection Requires Planning Safeguarding children, youth and those who work with them from abuse is top priority BY DAVID FREEMAN
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ncidents of the Vulnerable children Parents who exploitation of children and adults, made in the entrust their and vulnerable adults are image of God, deserve to regularly in the news. be protected. children and Exploitation results in Incidents of false youth to the long-term and traumatic accusations against staff and personal, social and caregivers do not make spiritual devastation. volunteers of the news as often, but the Tragically, exploitation consequences are also local churches traumatic for the accused, often happens at the hands of trusted their family and their expect those caregivers. church or organization. young people These caregivers may Caregivers, made in be family or friends or the image of God, deserve will be cared even children’s or youth to be protected from such for in a workers at church. It is not false accusations. surprising that the greater safe place Parents who entrust the trust in the abuser, the their children and youth greater the trauma experienced to the staff and volunteers of local by the vulnerable person. churches expect those young people will be cared for in a safe place. Staff and volunteers are not only obliged to create that safe place, they also want that place to be safe for themselves, too. Several years ago, The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada (C&MA) developed a resource to assist Alliance churches in ensuring that church buildings and church activities are places of safety for all. Aptly entitled Plan to Protect®, this resource manual suggests policies churches can use to ensure caregivers are screened and supervised and to confirm procedures are in place that protect both the vulnerable and those who work with them. Protection requires
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planning, and this resource helps churches do that well. The Plan to Protect® manual is available from the C&MA National Ministry Centre. The manual includes information to help each church create its own protection policy based on its situation and the expectations of its insurance company. Broadening the Impact After distributing the manual to Alliance churches for several years, C&MA leadership recognized that local churches could benefit from training in how to implement Plan to Protect® policies and procedures, that the manual would need ongoing updating, and that this resource could assist other denominations and organizations. We also realized that the C&MA did not have the resources to expand the influence of the manual, so we decided to license another organization, Winning Kids Inc., to adapt and use our manual, while retaining copyright of the original Plan to Protect®. Winning Kids, which was founded by the authors of the manual, specializes in the protection of children. They paid the C&MA for the licence and royalties for the use of the material. Protection of vulnerable people and those who minister to them takes time, effort and even finances. The Plan to Protect® manual, training and support provided by Winning Kids are designed to assist our Alliance family of churches in this important responsibility. Note: To access new and updated Winning Kids materials for C&MA churches, email canadianministries@cmacan.org for a C&MA password to log in to their website. Information about Winning Kids is available at www.winningkidsinc.ca. Rev. David Freeman, BRE, MEd is VicePresident, Canadian Ministries, The Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada
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FAITH AND HOPE IN ACTION 2014–2015 GIFT CATALOGUE
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