reved
FALL '09 Issue #18
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provoking the need for such inane warning labels? Well, people like Stella Liebeck in New Mexico started winning $2.9 million U.S. for suing MacDonald’s over coffee that was too hot to drink. Stella placed the cup of coffee between her legs to cool it down while driving. She spilled it, of course, resulting in third degree burns. Stella felt poorly warned, Stella sued, Stella’s a millionaire. This woman actually inspired the incredulous Stella Awards - real awards that are given to people who file outrageous lawsuits. One example of a Stella Award went to Kathleen Robertson in Texas who successfully sued a furniture store after tripping over a kid who was running around on the floor. The kid was her son. Kathleen was awarded $80,000 U.S.
Photo: Brent Lea
Even better: In Pennsylvania, Terrence Dickson managed to sue the owners of a house he had just robbed because he wound up locked in their garage for eight days while they were away. He sued for undue mental anguish, winning $500,000 U.S.
My sister, Cindy, and I, 'surviving' 1982 on the summer slopes of Panorama Mountain.
I'm Warning You...
Box 2126 Revelstoke, BC V0E 2S0 www.reved.net editor@reved.net publisher/editor Heather Lea editor@reved.net
ad sales/marketing Emily Beaumont sales@reved.net
design/layout Heather Lea design@reved.net
proof/edits Lea Storry edit@reved.net
staff writers Alison Lapshinoff Colin Titsworth contributors Rikki MacCuish Jennifer Ferguson Karen McColl
Once, when I was maybe four years old, I was standing up in the backseat of the family car while my mom drove. We were headed down the back alley when another car backed out in front of us. Mom threw on the brakes and I did a mid-air gymnast’s roll into the front seat, landing somewhere under the dash.
You had to be on your toes as a kid back in the day! My grandma used to bake my sister and I birthday cakes with coins in them. We had to be alert children so as not to choke to death on metal objects. (I was always suspicious why my grandpa, the dentist, was in agreement with this tooth-cracking ingredient.)
This happened in Calgary, back in the day when seat belts weren’t mandatory in Alberta (not until 1987). In fact, the backseat of the '66 Pontiac didn’t even have seat belts. (This was the year of the car, not the year when I was four, just to clarify). Nor did the car have an airbag or head rests; just a bench-seat for clear, uninterrupted sailing over the seat.
But now I’m an adult and I’m annoyed. I spent my childhood breaking teeth and bones and toughening up. I felt like life was really preparing me for something. And then I discover that I didn’t need to toughen up; that everywhere I turn, there’s a warning label warning me about anything that could possibly go wrong.
An e-mail was going around a while ago sharing some humorous anecdotes from TV’s nighttime host, Jay Leno. He was amused any kid born outside the last 25 years managed to live to become adults. In those days, seat belt and helmet laws weren’t in effect and anti-bacterial soap hadn’t even been invented. Instead, kids built go carts using old, rusty nails and weren’t mature enough engineers to think or worry about brakes. Mothers would casually send their children out to play in the morning telling them to return when the streetlights came on. At lunch, kids would share a bottle of pop between four of them and no one would think to even rub the germs off the lid in between. “We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents,” Leno writes. “We made up games with sticks (and), although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.”
There is a certain sense of pride in having survived the pre-warning crazed era and I’d like to lay claim to that. Instead, I find labels like this on my hairdryer: Caution: do not use while sleeping or unconscious. Um… if I’m unconscious, I have bigger problems than wet hair. One day, I was searching for something online and came across commongood.org, a site which holds yearly contests to see who can find the most ridiculous warning label. It’s hard not to laugh reading these labels which state the so-incredibly-obvious. For example, on a snow sled for children: Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions. On a 12-inch rack for storing CD’s: Do not use as a ladder. On a fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end: Harmful if swallowed. And my favourite, on a baby stroller: Remove baby before folding stroller. Really? Remove baby before folding stroller? What has happened during the last 25 years
CENTREFOLD: Revelstoke Mountain Resort - The Resort Report Community Connections Revelstoke Society - Fall Events
These are adults, like me, who grew up falling out of trees, never wearing helmets and standing too close to the fire - I thought we were tougher than that. Perhaps the lack of warning labels during childhood left its mark. These adults got tired of getting hurt and realized there was money to be made in blaming other people for your bruises and broken bones. As someone who recognizes I’m responsible for my own actions, I expect to see a warning sign for, say, a bridge coming up that may be icy under certain temperatures. But I really, really hope I’m clever enough not to need the heads-up label on a blanket from Taiwan, which reads: Not to be used as protection from a tornado. Happy autumn! Enjoy this issue of Reved Quarterly. Heather Lea Publisher/editor
What's in there? pg.2 pg.3 pg.4 pg.5 pg.6 pg.7 pg.8 pg.9 pg.10 pg.11 pg.12
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