Reved fall17(**issuu**)

HUNGRY? SLEEPY? YOUR FALL GUIDE TO...

... REV-VVVVVVVVVVVVERYTHING! PAGE 17 THE LITERATURE ISSUE

Helping start local wood stoves since 2005.

1 Reved Quarterly FALL 2017

Streeters

What’s a wayzgoose?

Nobody knows! People balderdash what they thinkza wayzgoose.

MILENA STASIECZEK It’s a type of musical instrument with strings, but you blow into it and it makes a high pitch double-tone zing. (Me: What’s a Stasieczek?)

MARK HARTLEY Am I able to interweb that?

EVA ACRI It’s some new technology for snowboarders.

JEN AVERY It’s like Weight Watchers, but for geese.

JEN ROGERS VOS It’s a made-up word.

TONI LYONS It’s a goose herder.

LERRITT ROBINSON A what? Yea, I dunno. Is it street slang for Thanksgiving?

OLIVIA LINGREN It’s a quill pen with a goose feather.

JOCOAH SORENSEN It’s a wasted goose.

HIS MOM ♥ CEDAR SORENSEN It’s a goose that still has a ways to go.

LAURA STOVEL A wayzgooose is a harvest party with dancing and a fiddle.

Wrong! Wrong! You’re all wrong! The answer is close to a combination of Laura’s and Jocoah’s answers—a party traditionally held by a masterprinter, marking the end of summer and beginning of the season working by candlelight.

FLIP TO CENTRESPREAD FOR PICS.

From The Editor’s Desk ...Stack of Old Milk Crates...

COLOURFUL READING Goldie usually has little time to read Reved because she's so busy at Pam's Kitchen. But, as a chef, she knows sauciness and loved the "Budgy Smuggler" summer issue. (And matched it nicely, too!) Her book recommendations for this literature spectacular are: Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts, Essays In Love by Alain de Botton, and Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil. Come by the restaurant to read and sip chai.

NO ROLLING STONE

Whoever managed to balance this giant stone just like this down at Centennial Field— amazing! However, it also posed a significant safety hazard, namely crushing people.

Not that it wasn’t cool; it was just deadly, so I took it down after taking this picture.

The literature issue: T

his issue is dedicated to readers. I know, every issue is for readers, but this issue is especially for those who love to read.

Fall is reading season, and the weather is perfect for cozying up over October (National Reading Month) or hammering down on that endless book you’ve been working on in November (National Novel Writing Month). After Reved’s “cheeky” summer issue, I wanted to focus on the important subject of literacy. I hope you, too, can help by picking up a copy of this paper and donating to Books for Kids on Oct 31. (See page 12 for details.)

Thank you, and happy reading! ✍

LETTER TO THE EDITOR: I really enjoyed reading your news-

paper on my way to Vancouver from Calgary. It was a bus ride and I picked the paper up from a restaurant in Revelstoke. My favourite story was “Helen and her horses.” I am happy I passed it on to my co-passenger for reading. After all, while reading Helen’s story, I was sharing it with him and later handed over to him to read. I will be more than happy to receive some copies of your paper. — Rameshinder Singh Sandhu, Punjab, India You got it! That's how many stamps?...

Winner, winner, chickens pooping their dinner A SOLID TIME

It's an antiquated, depraved, ridiculous, pointless and sophomoric display of our basest human depravities—but it's so much fun.

Chicken B-I-N-G-O was a big hit for gamblers of all ages at the 4th Annual Revelstoke Garlic Fest hosted by Sarah and Stu of Track Street Growers in September. It was a solid time. (Or in the chicken's case, a little bit runny.)

Reved goes green at #LunaArtFest

Reved Quarterly FALL 2017 1 ½

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Any reproduction or duplication without prior written consent of the publisher is OK as long as you make it up to me with money and/or beer.

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For $20, get delivery via ukelele-a-gram.

Reved Quarterly is published quarterly, obviously.

It has been in proud existence for 11 ½ years and counting.

Its publisher reserves all rights to have fun with this newspaper and its subsidiary miniature newspaper.

Reved Quarterly and Reved ¼’ly are a printed by Reved Media, a division of Reved Global Inc., which is a subsidiary of, oh who am I kidding, my desk is a booth at Tim Horton’s.

PARTNERS IN AWESOME #MOUNTAIN COLAB

MEANWHILE, READING THE PAPER...

Hey Jen? Yea Sam? You see this thing about a green screen at Luna?

Yea? Weren't we in front of a green screen at Luna?

I dunno. I've been so wrapped up reading lately.

You don’t you think there's a chance we could end up in a newspaper, like, somewhere in India?

Now, why would you think that?

SEND REVED 1/4’LY Old-fashioned snail mail is the best, especially when it comes in the form of a miniature newspaper. It makes a great gift/ souvenir/forgot so-and-so’s big such-and-such. Heck!—send it back to me with suggestions/ words of adoration/sizeable cheques. Just fold, seal, stamp and plop in the mailbox.

TITILLATING READING MATERIAL + LOCALS APPRECIATION

Stoketionary

EVERY WEDNESDAY 15% – 50% OFF (MOST) ITEMS.

Finally, a dictionary for the ordinary skidiot



Reved Quarterly FALL 2017 3

Reved readers compile a fairly thorough list of Revelstokeisms



Welcome to “Schralp City” where the local lexicon can get a little bit “janky” at times.

Thankfully, to help you avoid embarrassment or offending anyone, Reved proudly presents this first-ever (incomplete) local dictionary. Thank you all for your suggestions!

Big Eddy dinner jacket n. Storm rider denim jacket. Appropriate for all formal events in the Big Eddy.

Mudding v. To get stuck and unstuck in the mud intentionally, often at the Flats.

Nuts-to-butts adj. Two or more people Bighetto n. Portmanteau alluding to sitting bobsled-style on one snowmobile.

Big Eddy’s ghettoliciousness. (See also: Spaghetti Market.)

Birthday Boot n. Beer drunk from a

Plaiding v. A majority of persons in a group wearing plaid.

boot on your birthday. Etymology: the Ole’ Frontier used to give you “One Free Birthday Boot.”

Poochluck n. A potluck intended for canine exercise. (Or, if there are more dogs than humans at a potluck.)

Brown Belt n. The pathway where Greenbelt ends and Industrial begins.

Powder Slug n. Rickety chairlift at Revelstoke’s first ski hill on Mt. Mackenzie. May also refer to one’s whip.

FTN (Also, “foamer.”) n. Meaning

“Effing Train Nut”; one who stands and stares (often foaming) at passing trains.

Practically Pro n. Practically everyone in Revelstoke; adv. performing unpaid feats of great awesomeness.



Six-, Eight- and 12-Mile n. Well, Six Mile is at the Flats closest to town. EightMile you drive to from Six-Mile. If you go past Eight-Mile, you get to 12-Mile which is what some people sometimes call SixMile. It all makes perfect sense.

Skidiot n. Derogatory. Term for short-term, broke, smelly skier. Likely coined by Snob Hill residents.

Smores n. Acronym for Single Mothers of Revelstoke. (Incidentally, a SMOG warning is in effect for Golden.)

Snob Hill n. Derogatory. Term for Arrow Heights. Likely coined by skidiots.

that will eat winter snow.

Snow Maze n. The path you take to navigate accumulated piles of plowed snow in the middle of the road.

Goosed’er v. Getting big air on a jump. Synonyms: Given’er; Sending it, Practically pro.

Spaghetti Junction n. Janky corner of Victoria Road and Fourth Street. Synonyms: Bocci Corner, Five Corners.

Dickered v. Over-imbibing.

Spaghetti Market n. The Big Eddy Market. Etymology: Babbled by toddlers mispronouncing Big Eddy, but the name stuck since Vince sells Italian food.

Cannibal Snow n. Wet spring snow

Gnar: noun, verb, adverb and adjective, meaning anything.

Hug-n-Slug: n. Handle of Revelstoke’s beloved, long-gone King Edward Pub aka. “King Eddy,” previously at the corner of Orton and Second, which burned down in 1995. (See Facebook tribute page.) The aptly nicknamed bar was famous for its patrons who, if they didn’t find a mate by closing time, resorted to fisticuffs.

Janky adj. Unusual in a dangerous way. Used to describe anything from an awkward blown-out corner on a bike trail to a strong homemade beer.

Level-17 locals Kaitlynn and Barbara pulling a “Main’er” in their powder slug.

The Flats n. Occasionally referred to Puking v. Snowfall if the Powder as “The Floods” depending how much

God got dickered last night.

electricity the dam is generating.

Revelstuck v. If one is unable to leave Revelstoke due to highway closure—typically an accident, avalanche control, puking snowfall, combination of all three, or, occasionally, a fugitive and police standoff.

Toque-n-dogger n. (i) Original term for ski bum or fresh “local” who’s moved to Revelstoke primarily to ski; non-derogatory. Typically wears tuque all year-round and has a large misbehaved dog. May or may not drive a Subaru. (See also: “STDs”) Etymology: Credit to Klaus Ortwein, who owned the Villager ski shop where Big Bend Café is today.) (ii) Type of hippy tree planter who works primarily to have time to drink coffee with their dog. Likely named Mike.

Little Italy n. (Also, “Meatball Revelstruck v. When one's unable or Meadows”) The delicious-sounding unwilling to leave Revelstoke due to its area of Southside populated largely

by Italian settlers. (See also: Spaghetti Junction)

great beauty and fine townspeople. Not to be confused with—but sometimes as a result of—being Revelstuck. (See above.)

Local: n. A problematic term in town. Essentially, anyone who’s lived here 12 consecutive months. But that’s Level One With Quotations “Local.” Quantum physicists believe there are as many as 20 dimensions to “local” in Revelstoke, for example, Level 18 is a born-in-Save-On-meatdepartment local. Level 19 is Lord Revelstoke himself.

Roofalanche n. Self-explanatory.

Mainer n. (as in, to pull a “mainer”): Informal. When-bored teens do laps down Main Street.

STD n. A stereotypical newcomer with a Subaru, tuque and dog. (See also: “Tuque-n-dogger.”)

Schralp City n. Term for Revel-

Spicy: adv. Sketchy, kind of.

Shafty n. One or more shots espresso spiked with one or more shots Kahlua.

Often served at the Regent. Etymology: Calgarian, actually.

Trained v. Daily inconvenience of residents on CPR Hill just trying to be punctual on their way into town. If they leave their house and hear the telltale railroad crossing bells, they go back inside because they just got trained.

Sidewhacked v. Expression at the Revelstoke Dam for being sidetracked by force.

Wave-by n. A drive-by waving because everyone knows your car.

stoke. (“Schralp” is a ‘gnar-word’ for “shred.”)

Tuesdays @ 6:30 pm — Writing Group Wednesdays @ 6:45 p.m. — Spanish Conversationionione Friday @ 10:00 a.m. — Toddler Time November 7 @ 6:30 p.m. — Introduction to Personal Banking

605 Campbell Ave — (250) 837-5095

What Louis-Marc is reading: I just finished Fish Have No Feet

by Jón Kalman Stefánsson.

Good book, better title!

4 Reved Quarterly FALL 2017

Some Edumacation

Did’ya Know ... ?

The historical origins of Revel-Stoc

A book about aging, for all ages

You may not know the whole story behind of our city’s name >> BY RORY LUXMOORE

W

ho would think our cool name’s history started as far back as 1066?

The Battle of Hastings pitted the Norman-French army of William II against the English army of Harold II. The Normans earned a victory and along with their spoils went land for their senior soldiers. One of the recipients was Richard Revel.

He was given a parcel of land, called a ‘stoke’ in the county of Devon in southwestern England.

Centuries later in 1885, Edward Charles Baring was raised in peerage and was entitled to become a Baron, and with that, would inherit a new name.

He had obtained a house and parcel of land that was named Revelstoke—the land of Revel. Baring chose the name Revelstoke in recognition of his new home.

Baron Revelstoke was head of the family firm of Barings Bank based in London. England. When the Canadian Pacific Railway was nearing completion, it faced financial difficulty. Barings Bank raised over 10 million pounds to ensure the railway could be completed. In recognition, thenCPR president George Stephen, named the beautiful settlement along the shores of the Columbia River after its senior partner.

This story was published in a previous issue of Reved.

You can find it (and more great stories like it) in the Best of Reved Quarterly book.

Baron Revelstoke was head of the family firm of Barings Bank based in London.

England.

Find more online at REVED.NET

BOOK REVIEW

FROM THE ARCHIVES

The word ‘stoke’ is originally from the Old English word ‘stoc,’ meaning place. This makes sense. Perhaps Revelstoke is a place to revel in; to be revved and stoked about. Regardless, we are blessed with being given a name that closely matches the nature of our town and allows us to have some fun in the process. Thank you, Richard Revel.

What makes our town’s name so cool? Perhaps it’s because the compound word contains two positive, dynamic verbs.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines ‘revel’ as taking intense pleasure or satisfaction in. It defines ‘revved’ in a few ways: as becoming more excited especially in anticipation; to make more active or effective; or to stir up. Lastly, stoked is defined as being very excited.

Few towns can boast having such a dynamic and interesting name. It’s difficult to go through your day without hearing some reference whether intentional or not to our name. But a few examples: Stoke FM, Stoke List, Reved Quarterly, Revy Realty, Revelation Lodge, Trailstoke.

And the ‘stokeisms’ abound. Highway closed again?

Looks like you’re Revelstuck. In winter, we’re stoked our town transforms into “Revelsnow.” In the summer, we revel in exploring the Revelbush.

GROWING HOME: THE LEGACY OF KOOTENAY ELDERS BY LEE REID

H

ave faith. Be angry at God. Resent death.

But accept that it’s part of life.

These are but a few of the profound and beautiful overtones of Growing Home, a collection of stories from seniors living in the Kootenays, by author Lee Reid.

Reid, herself 71, wanted to talk to other seniors because she felt there was so much negativity, judgment and fear. “I saw that influencing seniors around me.” She recognized what she describes as the predictable “organ recital” of ailments seniors would report to one another—sore hips and strokes and sick cats—and she wanted to get a real picture of aging not just, as she says some have done previously, an overlay of positive thinking.

“When I started out I was really scared. Scared of dementia. Scared of losing mobility,” she said.

Society also seems automatically scared of aging. Her book, it turns out, is part of the antidote for a culture afraid of the dark, afraid of death and afraid of endings.

These, as Reid sets out, are stories that will nourish your own journey or maybe struggles with aging.

Among its pages stunning photographs and beautifully written vignettes of people who have lost their height, whose joints have been surgically replaced and whose organs have been removed, whose hands don’t work as well as they used to, who may or may not still drive, and who may live alone but, of course, didn’t start out that way. People who bake pies for their sons. People who worry about climate change.

People who know where water lines are buried. People who attend a lot of funerals.

Stoic people who bear piercing pain and don’t show it.

People who build things to outlast themselves—their homes and lives imagined long after their death.

Lee doesn’t find it depressing, and as a reader, you won’t either. The book wipes the illusion of immortality and replaces it with something more valuable: a reminder to cherish time, have reverence for life, visit seniors—and talk with them.

REVED #CAPTION CONTEST

&

lektaA e s k o o B s ’ a t Vibeselek

Hey Jen? Yea, Sam? What do you think the prize will be for the funniest caption?

I don’t know, probably something stupid.

Like an old used Speedo?

No, maybe like a free book or something....

...and an old used Speedo.

ENTER ON FACEBOOK @REVEDQ

Reved Quarterly FALL 2017 5

Frivolous Nonsense

Better than the back of a cereal box since 2005.

Local Lunites partook in an artistic and impromptu greenscreening at Monashee Distillery this Fall at the first-ever #LunaArtFest.

Uh, oh. Think I mixed up the tanks again. (Did that lobster just speak?)

Don’t worry, Mrs. Beyoncé, your backup-backup-backup singers are here. /// “Four bones and seven shoes ago, our foredoggies marked the carpet.” /// Beautiful day and not a single Rowan Atkinson in sight!

Just be cool. Be cool. They think we’re one of them. /// It’s the SINGULARITY!!

My goodness, Revelstoke’s definitely getting windier...

Nico’s Hollywood nightmare(s). /// Big Mark the “Bird” Baron models Somewon’s new fall clothing line: all-weather feathers. /// In other news: “Local woman named Jen not wanting to be Photoshopped and placed in a newspaper ... is. /// This new baby carrier works great, but one of us, I’m pretty sure, just pooped.

Q&A

Find Reved Twitterin’/ Insta’ing @RevedQ Facebookin’ /RevedQuarterly

Have a story idea?— online reved.net email editor@reved.net

“My latest book is a suggestion ...”

Next chapter for author Laura Stovel? A historical re-write of this place.

Y

ou probably know Laura.

She has lived in Revelstoke all her life. Born in 1962 and raised on CPR Hill, she’s one of those local-locals who can say they were born in the Save-On. She’s a writer, so she’s usually the one doing the interview. But right now she’s steeping mint tea picked from her garden, roasting a pumpkin in the oven, and sharing some of her immense accumulated knowledge from her life of writing.

hometown as a place for writing?

LS—I’ve lived in places that were much easier to write because things are happening around you. It’s easy to write because you’re observing things and you’re an outsider. So you’re able to describe this world and interesting things happen to you.

RQ—What would you say has been your proudest accomplishment thus far as a writer?

LS—I’m very proud of my Long Road Home (Building Reconciliation and Trust in Postwar Sierra Leone). I don’t think I’m proud of how I marketed it, because it isn’t widely available, nor sold at a point that was affordable to people. (NB: It retails on Amazon for about $115.) But of the book itself I’m very proud because I think it was a useful book for history and insights into how people felt after the war. (NB: The Sierra Leone Civil War lasted 11 years, from 1991 to 2002, and left over 50,000 dead.) How were people trying to build a society in that community once the combatants started to come home—the same ones that attacked the villagers. That, I think, was useful. But I think when this book’s done (about the history of the Columbia) it will be my proudest accomplishment.

RQ—When did you first start writing, like, for money?

buy the cheapest things, or how we pollute, we just don’t make that connection or we really don’t care. I think he was talking about that—our selfishness.

generous and there were things they could have done to hold perpetrators responsible. To make a constructive suggestion is an act of optimism, right?

RQ—It’s a pessimism he and I both share. Do you, too?

RQ—Will your latest book have similar suggestions?

LS—No, my latest book is a suggestion. It’s an invitation to look at our land Laura’s writing is varied. She’s differently. Think the author of three books: First differently about Tracks: The History of Skiing in who belongs Revelstoke; Long Road Home: here.

EveryBuilding Reconciliation and thing around us Trust in Post-war Sierra Leone is an economic (her Ph.D. Oh yah, she also has resource or a a Ph.D.); and Mountain Harvest, playground and about local master gardeners. nothing else. But when the river’s She’s currently pounding away out, you see on a new work, digging through these stumps hundreds of records from the of huge cedar late-1800s on the social histo- that stick out of ry of the Columbia River. Did the river. You you know, for example, that see their roots Hawaiians played a role in the intertwinded and area’s fur trade? Or that David you know that Thompson wasn’t the first there were peowhite explorer in this neck of ple here. It’s an the woods? The history of this invitation to look place has been greatly at it that way.

(Long pause and Laura smiles.)

LS—Let me tell you a story. I

over-simplified, she says: “We’ve really dumbed it down.”

RQ—You lost your good friend David Rooney earlier this year.

LS—He was always a good person to bounce ideas off. He gave good advice. That was important.

We’d always go for coffee and discuss it and he’d give suggestions, but he actually never edited my work. He was always open to ideas. (NB: Laura saved every letter. See: Goodbye, David, page 8.)

was in Sarajevo and I was interviewing people in human rights organizations about their work. I was hearing so many sad stories.

I remember once I looked at this worker and I said, “From what you tell me, everything is hopeless, so why are you doing what you do?” And she said to work in human rights you have to be an optimist. If you think it’s futile, it doesn’t accomplish anything.

It’s soul destroying. To make the

RQ—Are there things in your research that you would suggest we do right now?

LS—You can be thoughtful with your interaction with the bush. Don’t just see it as a resource or a playground, but see the needs of the plants and the animals. I wish people would think more holistically as us as part of Nature, not the Masters of Nature.

RQ—May I also get some advice about writing?

LS—After university. “...To make the world a better place, you have to be I went to Kenya for a LS—One thing I year. My boyfriend was didn’t do with my optimistic even if all the evidence is to the contrary..” a writer. I began to think PhD but I do now is writing was an interestidentify when I have ing profession to see the world RQ—Where does the darkness world a better place, you have to energy; I never write when I … I came back and worked for a that David talks about in his letter be optimistic even if all the evi- don’t have energy because former paper in Revelstoke called come from? dence is to the contrary.

I usually delete all of it. So, I Front-Row Centre, covering think best in the morning so it’s school board meetings. I thought LS—I think we are so privileged Sierra Leonians could teach very hard to get an appointment that journalism was a way of pay- here and we don’t seem to see the world a lot. Their generosity with me in the morning because ing for my writing habit.” that our actions have repercus- of spirit—which partly came from that’s my writing time. Go with sions on people much less ad- being powerless—just welcomed your energy. And read. Reading RQ—You returned to Revelstoke vantaged than us. Whether it’s people back. It’s pretty astound- inspires writing, especially beauin 2010. What do you make of your what we buy when we always ing. But I think people were too tiful literature. 

Reved Quarterly FALL 2017 7

8 Reved Quarterly FALL 2017

Obituary

Goodbye, David

From a letter dated March 6, 2003 that David wrote to Laura Stovel while she was in Sierra Leone:

The editor of the Revelstoke Current passed away this summer at 63. >> BY PETER WORDEN

D

avid Rooney was one of the first people I met in Revelstoke.

Of course he would be.

David was a news man who was on top of all the minutiae of small-town life. Fundraisers. Minor sports. Elementary school projects. So, when I took over publishing this little rag, we met, naturally, for coffee and an interview.

In the article, David encouraged his readers to check out the new Reved Quarterly: “Pick it up and give it a read, it should be worth a smile,” he wrote, ending with, “Welcome to Revelstoke, Peter.”

I only wish I’d had the chance to return the favour and interview him.

Over the last year or so, we met in and out of the hospital where his health kept him tethered. There, I saw a side I hadn’t seen in our casual coffees earlier; it was the side of a guy who knew life for how it really was, a side we probably all develop when facing a life-or-death ailment. (I also saw the “backside” of a man fed up with tying hospital gowns.)

At a certain point in a person’s life, maybe with age or illness, there’s no pretext, no fooling or being fooled. David was ever the realist and pragmatist, but never a nihilist.

He was a man who wrestled constantly about the state of affairs and his place in them, an obsession we shared and aimed in one way or another to remedy by newspaper-writing. I can almost hear him guffaw this as sentimental nonsense, but it seems fitting that he welcomed me in his paper, and now I say farewell in mine. 

WRITER & EDITOR As well as traveler, Colombian cowboy, Pipe Coaster rider and all round top lad.

David moved to Revelstoke in 2002 and started the Current in 2009.

He would have turned 64 on October 2.

SCAVENGER HUNT

HIS & HER FLANNEL

HIGH-FIVE FROM A MUSICIAN

GET SOME DAMN GOOD MAC & CHEESE

DOG OUTSIDE

2+ FLATBRIMMED HATS

PICK UP REVED QUARTERLY

PEOPLE PLAYING BOARD GAMES

ASK IF THE PATIO’S STILL OPEN

MILLION + BIKES OUTSIDE

TASTETEST FIVE BEERS BEFORE CHOOSING ONE.

SOMEONE WEARING SOMEWON

ANYTHING FROM THE NEW SMOKER

MAKE TREVOR SMILE

PASSERBY BLOWS KISS

FIND A SQUIRREL WITH A FISH HEAD

STRANGER’S FAVOURITE BOOK

RAINY FALL DAY :(

FIND OUT WHAT’S GROWING ON THE PATIO

SEE AN EAGLE WITH A BEAR HEAD

SKI FLICK ON TV

SUNNY FALL DAY :)

IT’S TOO DAMN LOUD

SOMEONE SQUINTING AT THE BEER MENU

ALLEY CAT SIGHTING

“Lately, I have become very tired of the news. I can’t bear to hear anymore about the impending (Iraq) war, or the political squabbles in Ottawa or elsewhere. The more news I watch or hear the more discouraged I sometimes feel about our species. We seem to be damning ourselves further at every turn and what good some of us do seems overshadowed by the evil of others. Atrocities are answered with more atrocities and those voices calling out for people to exercise reason, compassion, tolerance and faith seem fainter and fainter. Soon, it seems, they may be drowned out altogether. I fear to imagine where that will leave us ... ... Our civilization is so wealthy and so obscenely selfish. The answers to so many of our global problems seem almost childishly simple and obvious: we have the money and the power to alter the world and heal so many of its ills, yet our governments refuse to act because they fear we will lose some short-term advantage, or offend a powerful neighbour, or lose the power to dominate others. And all the while we pretend that our democratic values have meaning. The sad thing is they do have intrinsic value—but that value is debased on a daily basis as we ignore injustice, dictatorship, corruption, brutality, ignorance, hatred and inequality... ...There are days I want to stop up my ears and shut my eyes. And on those days I wish I could stop the world altogether. I don’t know where this reaction is taking me but I find my thoughts moving into unfamiliar territory.”

BEYOND WRITING David painted clever works of art, often surrealist mash-ups and memento moris of the Natural world.

MORE FUN STUFF AT REVED.NET

1

Remove centerfold of Reved Quarterly...

Spot The Diferences

Spot The Differences

DIFFERENCES KEEP SCORE.

10

HOW-TO: READ REVED 1/4’ly WITHOUT HURTING YOURSELF: WARNING! YOU MAY BE READING THIS UPSIDE DOWN.

2

Reved Quarterly ¼’ly FALL 2017

Printing and making ink, after all, is one of the most useful human inventions, at least on par for usefulness with unlocking fire or forming the wheel. Like those basic technologies, we use print all the time in a million different modern ways such as this paper you’re reading, for example. So why shouldn’t we honour it in some spectacular and drunken fashion with fire and fritters and ink-making?

The Print World is an increasingly distant world to our Digital Age. However, many of the same principles

A

wayzgoose is a party in honour of print.

>> BY PETER WORDEN

2. AND HERE.

mouth of English speakers.

and tools are still used—we all type (or text) on QWERTY No one really knows when the first layouts. And printing software wayzgoose was. (For bookmakers, still uses leading and kerning. they weren’t very good note takers.) It But many tools and principles may have been August 24, 1456 after and, most importantly, drunken printing the Gutenberg Bible was comtraditions, of the Print World pleted in Mainz. are long gone. Do you know what a ‘turtle’ is? It’s what the very heavy square frame that once “...ink is one of our most useful human held all the lead text in place is inventions, at least on par for usefulness with called. Similarly, unlocking fire or forming a wheel.” ask anyone what’s a wayzgoose is ˈweɪzɡuːs| n. — The most likely origin is and you get funny stares. (Host the word “Weghuis” (literally, “way house”) one and friends show up naked.) that meant “a banquet”. The early terminoloSo, in honour of all those who gy was borrowed from Low Country printers have risked their eyebrows

by English apprentices. The variety of probefore us, we say thank nunciations indicate it is an orally-borrowed you, and WHOOOO—!!

Dutch word that fit somewhat uneasily in the Waygoooooooooooooose!! 

Whatza wayzgoose? An old tradition of things going horribly awry.

Local yahoos host Revelstoke wayzgoose

WAYZGOOSE NEWZ

... SPECIAL MAIL-ABLE POST CARD INSIDE! 

ern; Sarah’s moose feud just got real; Ernest the Moose has a bigger ear; little pumpkin has changed colour; a rogue book is taking over the top shelf; Jamie wasn’t watching her watch and now it’s gone; cover of National Parks book has changed; Opes? Nopes. “O” in Sara’s Oprah magazine has disappeared.

ANSWER KEY: T-Rex, obvs.; Susan’s holding a Reved (as she should!); Kendra is cannibalizing Mr. Jack-o-LatHANG ON TO THIS!

Reved Quarterly ¼’ly SUMMER 2017

(HANDY POCKET SIZED EDITION.)

1. FOLD HERE.

OR SEND BACK TO:

POST CARD

... Fold on dotted lines, once, twice, thrice ...

3

READING THIS,

IF YOU ARE

YOU NEED A STAMP.

PLEASE SEND TO:

□ You □ We Should: □ Read more. □ Read REVED QUARTERLY more. □ Have a wayzgoose! □ ALL OF THE ABOVE. □ OTHER: ___________________________ (NOW SEND THIS DELIGHTFUL NEWSPAPER TO SOMEONE EQUALLY DELIGHTFUL. )

3. AN-N-D HERE.

SHHH-H-H! ... PEOPLE ARE TRYIN’ TO WORK HERE. Seriously, what ever happened to the stuffy, old-school libraries where you didn’t allow T-Rexes and moose-play? Yes, the Revelstoke library is lots of fun. But YOU have work to do finding 10 differences. Library staff (front) Sara Supinen and Jaimie Reynolds; (back) Susan Knight; Kendra Runnalls; Gabriella Draboczi; Lucie Bergeron, Ernest the Moose and Sarah Darval.

(PHOTO BY PETER WORDEN....I SEEM TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE THESE DAYS. )

... Bam!—Reved 1/4’ly is a mini paper ready for the bathroom or anywhere.

w

Reved Quarterly FALL 2017

hat the Hellza

>> BY PETER WORDEN

I

hot oil around an open flame make a dangerous combination, so holding a wayzgoose was one way of getting goosed without burning the whole print shop (or city of London) down. Out in the countryside, safely away from endangering anyone but themselves, printers and book makers began the annual tradition of sojourning to an Enlightenment Era kegger, followed by a fritter fry in a vat of oil. Or what I call a solid weekend.

t's the question I had when I first heard it, too.

The short answer is it's an expedition followed by a feast in the name of print.

The longer answer is that it’s pretty much whatever you want it to be.

Historically, it was an autumn party in the name of print, dating back to the17th-Century or even earlier.

A Master Printer, or in my case, functional hack, would celebrate the end of ETYMOLOGY the year and get set for the next by making ink, boiling fritters and getting wayz- “Wayzgoose” is probably an goosted. Not necessarily in that order. In Anglicized Dutch word, which is why fact, certainly not in that order. it sounds weird. According to English professor Ted Bishop, the year of the first wayzgoose is unverifiable. A time, A FIERY AFFAIR anyway, when presses made their own ink by process of bringing linseed A master printer would lead his staff oil to boil without spontaneously on an expedition that would accomplish combusting. They mixed it with several things: pine soot for pigment, all in all, risky • First, it celebrated the end of the beeswax. Bishop quite literally wrote the printing season and the start of working book on ink. We talked about his book by candlelight.

The Social Life of Ink when we attended • It also allowed workers to imbibe heavily, the same wayzgoose a few years back in or (to use a localism) “get dickered.”

Vancouver. It was the Turtle Press’s 20th • They could fry fritters in oil, then use annual wayzgoose. I imagined it to be a the oil to make ink. wild event with masks (probably) and Not surprisingly, drunk people with mutton or pigeon and mugs of warm

ale to wash it al down. However, what I initially imagined as a pagan frenzy around a bonfire, turned out to be fairly refined get-together of septuagenarian books-lovers at the Royal Vancouver Yacht Club. They’re a group of wonderfully knowledgeable collectors, professors and printmakers, of whom, Ted and I somehow found ourselves a part.

WAYGOOSE NO.1 This Fall, Reved held a wayzgoose with 100 per cent more fire, fritters and ale than before. But, as waygoosers arrived, their confusion was apparent.

“Where’s the goose?” said Josh.

“We gotta kill it,” said Fred.

“We’re not killing any geese,” I said.

“Where’s the ink?” said Dana.

“We gotta make our own ink,” I said.

Dana: “Where do we get the squid?”

Josh:“How do we melt the octopus is what I’m curious about. And when do I get naked?

Fred: “So far this is the best time I’ve had all day.”

Josh: “I was under the impression this was a nudist thing.”

Dana: “The pen is mightier than the sword.”

way MAKING INK & NOT DYING

We boiled some oil and manag fry one fritter before, as expected oil caught fire. The little I know wayzgooses is that they had them out in the country: This would hap

All: (Screaming.)

Fred: “Put it out, put it out!”

Rosetta: “Oh god.”

I pulled the oil from the fire still ing.

Rosetta: “How do we put that out n Dana: “We need to smother it.”

Josh: “Pee on it.”

Dana: “Use the metal lid.”

Pete: “Right, the lid.”

(Lid goes on. It’s still flaming) Josh: “It’s going to blow.”

Fred: “Do you have magnesium ings?”

I dumped the oil in the fire, the fl flew up and I stumbled back man miraculously to retain my eyebrow Dana: “This is such a wayzgoose.”

Josh: “I love wayzgooses.”

Fred: “Truer wayzgeese were had.”

Rosetta: “There’s a reason they call them waysgeese. It’s a one thing.”

Without killing a goose, an octopus or any of ourselves, we managed to make our own ink to go along with the fritters and ale à la 17th Century. // Rosetta commemorates the first wayzgoose // Josh, always the Renaissance man, asks: When do we get naked? // Fred and Dana fritter away the night. // Above-right: The oil catches fire, explaining why wayzgooses were a far-from-city-limits sort of thing.

yzgoose?

ged to d, the about m way ppen.

flam-

now?”

shav-

flames naging ws. ” never

don’t e-time

In Bishop’s book, the Social Life of Ink, he talks about waygooses. They were fun, he says, but they had an edge as the printers would hand out contracts for the next year.

“There were always some people who got fired at the wayzgoose ... People would drink a lot of schnapps and badmouth the boss.” 

Those Art Renaissance Fightin’ Words!

SHAKESPEARE INSULT KIT Combine a word from each column, prefaced with “thou”... thou craven common-kissing coxcomb.

Column 1 Artless Bawdy Beslubbering Bootless Churlish Cockered Craven Dankish Errant Fawning Fobbing Froward Frothy Gleeking Goatish Gorbellied Impertinent Infectious Jarring Lumpish Mangled Paunchy Puny Qualling Rank Reeky Roguish Spleeny Unmuzzled Wayward Weedy Yeasty

Column 2 Base-court Beef-witted Beetle-headed Boil-brained Clapper-clawed Common-kissing Crook-pated Dizzy-eyed Doghearted Earth-vexing Elf-skinned Fat-kidneyed Fen-sucked Flap-mouthed Fly-bitten Folly-fallenFool-born Full-gorged Hell-hated Idle-headed Ill-breeding Milk-livered Onion-eyed Pox-marked Rough hewn Rump-fed Sheep-biting Swag-bellied Tickle-brained Toad-spotted Unchin-snouted Weather-bitten

Column Apple-john Barnacle Bladder Boar-pig Canker-blossom Clack-dish Clotpole Coxcomb Codpiece Dewberry Flap-dragon Flax-wench Foot-licker Fustilarian Giglet Haggard Hedge-pig Horn-beast Hugger-mugger Jolt-head Lout Maggot-pie Malt-worm Minnow Miscreant Nut-hook Pigeon-egg Pignut Puttock Strumpet Vassal Wagtail

Printing houses were busy places back in the day. // Do you know what a ‘turtle’ is?

It’s the super heavy square frame holding lead text in place to be printed over. A master printer or apprentice would move and remove the turtle, hunched over, slowly waddling it across the printing floor like a turtle. // Canada’s largest and longest-running wayzgoose takes place every year in Grimsby, Ontatio (below). No oil fires, though—meh.

Date to Donate: Oct 31

EDITOR@REVED.NET

THE OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK OF WRITING REVED QUARTERLY.

Imports & Exports

Town bids a temporary farewell to Coop

Alex Cooper leaves British Columbia for Colombia-Colombia

I

n Colombia, they call him El Coopé. You may know him as Coop or the "Scoop" or any of many monikers.

Alex Cooper helped write more than 400 issues and thousands of stories in the Revelstoke Review. Reved caught up with him in San Gil, Colombia, where he is currently on an epic expeditionionionione, biking across the continent, praying that the first two seasons of Narcos help him adequately navigate cartels, communists and an endless wilderness.

RQ—You haven’t been taken hostage by FARC rebels or anything?

Coop—Not yet, but it would make for a great story, wouldn’t it? Assuming I survived unscathed. Or pulled off an incredible James Bond-esque escape.

RQ—Where on earth are you right now?

Coop—San Gil, the so-called “Adventure Capital of Colombia.” It’s kind of like Revelstoke, but bigger, there’s no snow and the traffic is terrible. Great whitewater rafting, though, and they built a gondola that goes down and up a huge canyon, like if the gondola at RMR kept going across the valley and up to the glacier on Mount Begbie.

RQ—Cooooool. And, what in the name of Pablo E. Escobar are you doing there?

Coop—Resting, dealing with some bike issues and going adventuring. As of writing, I’ve been off for three days and I’m getting antsy to get going on my bike tour again. My next destination is Medellín, which is 500 kilometres away.

By the time you read this, who knows where I’ll be (considering Reved sits on the newsstand for three months).

RQ—Have you landed on a name for your bike yet? (It’s bad luck to have a bike without a name.)

Coop—Honestly, I haven’t. Maybe you can make it a Reved reader poll?

RQ—Seriously, Coop. We miss you already. Do you miss us?



RQ—Everyone’s wondering­ , are TUNE IN ON AIR 92.5 & ONLINE STOKEFM.COM YOU Revelstoke Charm?

Coop—Yes. RQ—In your farewell column, you wrote a best of Coop reel. If you could, what story would you like to go back and do differently?

Coop—There’s a few stories I published that I felt weren’t as good as they could be. There’s a few stories I worked on but didn’t write for various reasons, and one I can think of that I did an interview for, should have written, but didn’t, and I regret that.

I had to publish two apologies and I agonized over those mistakes RQ—Bloopers!—Any bloopers?

RQ—Please state your full name.

Coop—Alexander Stephen Cooper XVI.

Reved Quarterly FALL 2017 13

Coop—A little bit.

RQ—Being a one-man newsroom, you gathered lots of institutional knowledge of this place, its practices, key players and all that. What do you think about leaving all your devoted readers and citizens flying blind?

Coop—I think it’s a good thing. A new editor will bring fresh eyes to the community and see stories I glossed over or ignored because of a “been there, done that” type of thing. It might take Marissa a few weeks or months to get up to speed, but the news will continue to get reported, and with a fresh perspective. I also expect Reved to start covering council meetings. What else do you have to do every second Tuesday afternoon?

RQ—Maybe. Hey, I see that media got to heli over the wildfires after you left. Do you miss us now?

Coop—One of my first assignments ever as a paid journalist, while working for the Columbia Valley Pioneer in Invermere, was flying over a wildfire in Kootenay National Park, so whatever. Just kidding, I would have happily done it again.

Coincidentally, Simon Hunt was in charge of that controlled burn that launched my journalism career. The media relations person on that tour, Tania Peters, also ended up in Revelstoke for a bit, before settling in #EastRevy.

RQ—Coop by the numbers: 400 issues. Stories, thousands. How many council meetings you’ve been to?

Coop—I didn’t start going to council regularly until I took over as editor in April 2014. Before that, it was Aaron Orlando’s job, and he loved it so much, he left the paper to run for council. For

Coop—There was that time I quoted Anne Cooper, the former school district superintendent, referring to the old Mountain View Elementary addition as the “pink nipple.” Turns out, she said “pink pimple.” What was I thinking?

RQ—Your replacement has some

REVY READER POLL

WHAT SHOULD EL COOPÉ NAME EL BIKE-O? PEDDLER ESCOBAR PABLO HANDLEBAR CHAIN GUEVARA SENIOR FUNBAGS MINTY MCMINTERSON PENNY THE GOING FAR THING

VOTE ON FACEBOOK @REVEDQ

the record, I have no intention of doing that, unless I’m really desperate for work when I get back. To answer your question, probably 100 or so, each more thrilling than the last.

RQ—Boxers? Or news briefs?

big shoes to fill, figuratively and literally. Any advice?

MEAT HISTORY 101

SAUSAGE PARTIES

Coop—Find shoes that fit for you. It Did you know that sausage was actually will make life much easier and more a banned food for centuries? According to one of Ray’s old textbooks from university, comfortable. In fact, just wear whatev- the origin of the term “sausage party” dates er shoes you brought with you. back well before ski season in Revelstoke.

Coop—Considering I’m on a bike tour, chamois all the way.

RQ—How do you keep your hair so voluminous?

RQ—You’re one of a chosen few to have been in not one but two Rob Buchanan cartoons. What was the first one, again? And how does it feel at the pinnacle of fame?

Coop—The real question: How do I keep it down? My hair does what it wants.

Coop—The first one was “What if Alex Cooper switched spots with Alice Cooper.” I’m pretty sure Rob couldn’t come up with anything topical that week, so he resorted to that. It’s a true honour. I feel like how Mona Lisa must have felt when she had her portrait painted by Leonardo da Vinci (or, more appropriately considering I’m in Colombia, when Fernando Botero painted) his version of the Mona Lisa.

Coop—It helped seeing above the mob when JT came to town. But I wonder if being shorter would have helped me hide under tables and eavesdrop on the mayor more easily.

RQ—Does being six-foot-something help you being a reporter?

Basically, sausage was such a popular food item and an affordable way for people to put some protein in their diets. Eventually, parties started up around the food that would get hedonistic. “The Establishment needed to pin it on something, so they demonized what they called Sausage Parties,” says Ray. “It took 300 years for people to convince church and state that the sausages weren’t to blame.”

Thank God for that.

Now who wants to go to Ray’s?

RQ—What do you hope is your legacy at the Review?

Coop—That the paper didn’t die under my watch. 

THIS IS RAY.

LADIES DROP-IN SOCCER RSS Gym Fridays from 5:30-7 p.m.

Nov 3 — Dec 8 (continuing in Jan) All skill levels. Just $5.

Bring indoor shoes, two coloured shirts (to make teams) and BYOB (ball).

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AND HE'S TIRED OF ALL OUR SAUSAGE JOKES.

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They’ve just finished renovations and it looks amazing in there.

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DOSE—Corner of Mackenzie & 2nd St.

Lauren & John make coffee art. Daily 7 am–5pm.

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Reved Quarterly FALL 2017 16

PARAMJIT’S KITCHEN—116 1st St W ▪ 250 837 2112

Everything Goldie makes is incredible. You gotta eat here. See p.6

FINE DINING & SMOOOOOTH JAZZZZZ

112 BISTRO —Inside the Regent Hotel

The River City Pub next door has late-night music and entertainment.

A KILLER OPEN MIC

LAST DROP­­­—200 3 St W ▪ 250 837 2121

The Drop has a $5 menu plus a killer open mic (Wed).

CHEAP WINGS ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT

GRIZZLY PUB—314 1 St W ▪ 250 837 5576

The Griz has liquor store delivery, pool and Keno.

DEEP-FRIED CHEESE CURDS

CHUBBY FUNSTERS—114 MacKenzie Ave

... there are also weird and wonderful cocktail concoctions..

A PANZO THAT COULD KILL A MAN

THE VILLAGE IDIOT—306 MacKenzie Ave ▪ 250 837 6240

A SERIOUS SMOKED BRISKET MANWICH

BIG EDDY PUB & LIQUOR STORE—Alllllll the way at 2108 Big Eddy Rd. It's totally worth the drive all-l-l-l the way over the bridge.

MMM...DONAIRS AND/OR PIZZA

PADRINO’S PIZZARIA—200 1 St W ▪ 250 837 3300

Jess and Dave sell pizza by the slice or by the pie.

MMM ... POUTINE AND/OR PIZZA

NICO'S PIZZERIA­— 112 1 St W ▪ 250 837 7117

Nico has unique poutine combos and the squeakiest cheese curds.

STEAK AND POTATOES WITH ALL THE FIXINS'

ZALA’S STEAK & PIZZA—½ block off Hwy 1 ▪ 250 837 5555

Rick even offers a courtesy limousine service.

ANTARCTICA-THEMED MEN'S ROOM

WOOLSEY BISTRO—600 2 St W ▪ 250 837 5500

That's a weird thing to go to a restaurant for.

A SWEET NEW VIETNAMESE PLACE

MINH TUYET'S BISTRO— 415 Victoria Rd ▪ 250-837-3788

Fancy schmancy, yet affordable!

A KILLER MAC N' CHEESE

CRAFT BIERHAUS— 107 2nd St E ▪ 250 805 1754

Trev also has regional beers & board games. (Check p.8!)

A TACOOOO OR BURRRRRRRRRITO...?

TACO CLUB — 206 MacKenzie Ave ▪ 250 837-0988

They make a deadly homemade gingerbeer.

CHICKEN STRIPS, FRIES & A SHAKE

THE NOMAD FOOD CO— 1601 Victoria Rd ▪ 250 837-4211

They won the "People’s Choice" best poutine and shakes.

THE SPANKIEST SPOT IN TOWN

THE QUARTERMASTER EATERY — 109 1ST ST ▪ 250 814 2565

This totally reno'd hotel has a secret scotch sipping boiler room. Shhh...

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MONASHEE SPIRITS CRAFT DISTILLERY— 307 Mackenzie Ave ▪ 250 463 5678 Just go. Trust me. Just go and thank me later.

A CHIC, UNIQUE, COOL PLACE TO STAY

THE CUBE—311 Campbell Ave ▪ 250 837 4086

Owner Louis Marc Simard is a gem.

A PRIVATE ROOM HOSTEL

POPPI'S—313 First St. East ▪ www.poppis.ca ▪ 250 837 9192

It's the adventure of a hostel, comfort of a hotel and awesomeness of Poppi.

THE CLEANEST HOT TUB IN TOWN APPARENTLY

MONASHEE LODGE — 601 3 St W ▪ 250 814-2553

It’s a cozy, laid-back bed-and-breakfast off the beaten path.

A CENTRAL YET QUIET PLACE TO STAY

SWISS CHALET MOTEL—1101 Victoria Rd W ▪ 1 877 837 4650

Eric offers non-smoking rooms, free breaky & Aquatic Centre passes.

They also have lotsa beer and make a mean Moscow Mule.

AN EMERGENCY PLACE TO LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD MY COUCH—Near Courthouse Inn ▪ 867 222 4556

It’s my actual couch. (Great rates!)

DEEP-TISSUE MASSAGE & ACUPUNCTURE

WELWINDS SPA — (250) 837-6084 ▪ 509 4 St W

Diane also offers a selection of specialty teas.

A THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE

BODYLOGIC—250 837 3666 ▪ Suite 103-103 1st St E

Karen and her fellow RMT Sarah are miracle workers.

DEEP-TISSUE MASSAGE & MANUAL LYMPH DRAINAGE REVELSTOKE MASSAGE THERAPY—250 837 6677

Dave also offers somatic release.

A ROMANTIC AND RELAXING GETAWAY

HALCYON HOTSPRINGS—1 888 689 4699 ▪ Hwy 23, Nakusp

These hot springs are just a short, magical drive and ferry trip away.

ACUPUNCTURE & CHINESE MEDICINE

JADE MOUNTAIN—250 847 3900 ▪ jademountain.ca ▪ 101 1st St W

Erin is a registered traditional Chinese medicine practitioner.

ALL TYPES OF YOGA FOR ALL LEVELS ...

BALU YOGA & WELLNESS ▪ 250 837 3975

... at all times of the day and all days of the week.

GUIDED ENERGY WORK & SOUL COUNSELING

HEART TO HEART HEALING—250 837 3724 ▪ Frieda Livesey

Freida also offers soul awareness writing and is an inspiration.

YOGA TEACHER TRAINING

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200hr Yoga Alliance International Cert. starting Oct. 14.

SOME HELP GETTING YOUR ASANA IN GEAR

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AN ECO-FRIENDLY (AND JUST REGULAR-FRIENDLY) SPA

BIRCH & LACE­—250 814 2508 ▪ 113 2nd Street E

BYO containers for their soap dispensary of Canadian products.

THE BUSIEST SALON I (PERSONALLY) HAVE EVER SEEN

FIRST IMPRESSIONS—250 837 2344 ▪ 300 1 St E

They have the BEST coffee while you wait.

THE CHEAPEST CUT IN TOWN

THE BARBERSHOP—300 First Street W

Deb is a real barber’s barber. $17. First come, first cut.

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GET IN THE GUIDE TO REV-ERYTHING CONTACT ME, PETER — EDITOR@REVED.NET FIRST LISTING FREE. BEER ACCEPTABLE AS PAYMENT.

YOUR

GUIDE TO

YOUR GUIDE TO

Reved Quarterly FALL 2017 17

Oldest & Wisest*

Leslie & Lincoln A true love story. >> BY PETER WORDEN

L

The couple shared many amazing adventures, including owning not one, but three VW vans. (B&W photograph by Sarah Mickel.)

“He stayed gentle and sweet and funny. His sense of humour never left.”

Photo by Sarah Mickel

“I love it,” she says about moving to town. “It’s where we always thought we would end our days.”

Revelstoke, it turns out, is a nice place to be distracted in a good way.

“There’s so much going on here all the time. I am grateful for the physical beauty of the community and its vibrancy,” she said, adding importantly: “I am creating for myself a community that is inspiring and supportive and not entirely dependent on my kids for my social life.”

eslie loves words. They help a lot. She has sought inspiration in literature all her life from the Dalai Lama’s teachings to Joan Didion’s Year of Magical Thinking. She just finished Fallen, a memoir by Sunshine Coast author Kara Stanley.

“I read to distract myself. I read to educate myself,” she says. “I read because words are wonderful and I am astonished how they create pictures and clarify thinking.”

And she’s writing her own story—one about life and death ON BEING SICK and both her own and her husband’s illnesses. In 2011, Leslie was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Soon after, Lincoln had Lewy body dementia­, the second-most her husband Lincoln was diagnosed with young-onset common type of progressive dementia after Alzheidementia. She shared her story in a wonderfully written mer’s disease. Protein deposits, called Lewy bodies, essay, “Adaptation,” which won CBC’s creative nonfiction affect the brain regions involved with thinking, memcontest last year. This summer, Lincoln passed away. Now ory and motor control. As it develops, it looks like latshe’s searching for the right words to make sense, and er-stage Parkinson’s symptoms. slowly finding them.

“There is that irony and that fear because I know what “Writing it down has been incredibly helpful. When you it looks like,” worries Leslie, adding the two diseases lay something out on paper you can see when it’s whiny or are very related. self-pitying. That helps me move to what I want to be, to see She counts her blessings. Dementia can change a perthe gold.” son’s demeanour, sometimes turning gentle people Self-pitying or whiny, Leslie’s not. She spent a great deal of violent, and so forth. But, aside from some paranoia, every day with her ailing husband. Now he’s gone, and she’s which Leslie discusses in Adaptation, the family was starting to do more. She looks forward to getting out this incredibly lucky that Lincoln stayed good-natured to winter on her cross-country skis. the end.

“I wouldn’t wish him gone “I feel so lucky for ourselves, Love is what you do … for anything, but the truth our girls and our grandkids, is with Lincoln,” she pausthat there was something still It’s a verb. An action verb. es, and puts it this way: “He so recognizable,” she says.

—not something you wait would be saying, ‘You go Lincoln could always find a to be given to you. girl!’” smile. “He stayed gentle and sweet and funny. His sense of humour never left.”

ON LOVE In a serendipitous and somewhat literal sense, he lives Leslie was born in Dinsmore, Saskatchewan (population: on in Leslie’s children's book In the Red Canoe. The coupla hundred) in 1951. An army brat, she calls herself. book is illustrated by Laura Bifano, who, entirely by The third of four. Her family lived all over Canada from B.C. coincidence, painted a grandfather looking very much to Ontario and up in Churchill, Manitoba. Teacher training like Lincoln. at UBC brought her back out west where she met Lincoln at There’s also the story of her life with Lincoln that she’s William’s Lake in 1975. They married in 1979. been writing metaphorically and literally for the past The two crossed North Africa and Europe in a brand new four decades. Maybe it will be for all of us to read, or VW van they bought in 1976. They came home and taught maybe just herself. She continues to write it regardless. together across B.C. When they were both offered half-time “Stories matter whether you’re reading them or writjobs in Grand Forks, it was a perfect fit, since they had a kid ing them,” she reminds us, “whether you have an audiand could both do baby-duty and breadwinning-duty. ence or not.”  They lived together the next 34 years in Grand Forks, in a relationship she says that had its bumps along the way. But they remained committed.

You can find In The Red “A big change for me was deciding that love was what you Canoe at Grizzly Book did. That it was a verb. An action verb. Not something you & Serendipity Shop on waited to be given to you.”

Mackenzie or connect with Leslie on her Facebook ON THE GOLDEN YEARS page, where you can read more of her writing, includRetirement came for Lincoln and “then we had so much ing Adaptation. fun,” Leslie says. She retired early to join him and the couple spent three magical years together, travelling all over in an- *Leslie is by no measure the "oldest," however, she is other VW van. (The first one from Germany, they brought wise beyond her years. If someone is the oldest and back to Canada and it blew up on the highway near Inuvik.) wisest person in your life, and should be featured in Their life came almost full-circle, she said. “It was just as fun this section, please contact, me, Peter, at: as old people as it was as young people.”

Their daughters discovered Revelstoke and bought placeditor@reved.net. es here, and in 2015, Leslie and Lincoln followed suit with their own health in mind.

HORRORSCOPES Your Fall Horrorscopes & Misfortunes

CANCER (Jun 22 - Jul 23): Stumbling home from the bar to Columbia Park feels like a 20year odyssey. You face all kinds of adversity and battle an icy hill on First Street, where you fall on your back. Staring up at the blinking, indifferent lights of the Gateway Inn, you see in the window, a Japanese lucky cat waving an involuntary plastic paw. FIN.

LEO (Jul 24 - Aug 23):

MIKE

"The Medium" MURPHY

You order dozens of classic novels online from a website in China but end up with a bookshelf of misspelled book titles like Old Man In The Sea, 1948, Pride and Racism, How To Kill a Mockingbird, Lord of the Fries and The Catcher and the Rye: A Story of Baseball and Bread. FIN.

ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 20)

VIRGO (Aug 24 - Sep 23):

You have an overdue library book from more than a decade ago and currently owe $1,487.22.

The book, Financial Wisdom for Forgetful People, had a chapter about exactly this. Kendra threatens to enact Librarian Law, which, written in the 1950s, imposes corporal punishment by paper cut. FIN.

A biographical tell-all written by your ex is in the local section of Grizzly Books. Worst of all, it’s an instant best-seller, and the only remaining copy is the store’s. Oh sure, Linda can order it for you, but it will take 7-10 business days. Seven. To Ten. Business. Days. FIN.

TAURUS (Apr 21 - May 21)

You've read all of the self-help books and you still will never figure out Microsoft Excel. FIN.

You’re on the very last of the entire Outlander series when for absolutely no reason at all, you’re abruptly transported back to the 17th century and have to wait 400 years to find out how it ends. (They all die.) FIN.

GEMINI (May 22 - Jun 21): Listen to me carefully, Gemini: Craft Bierhaus on Thursday, January 11, 2018, at exactly 8:04 p.m. Go there at that time and search for a man in an Einstein t-shirt. He will whisper to you the time and place of your fateful end. If he’s not there, I may have got it mixed up and he's dead. FIN.

LIBRA (Sep 24 - Oct 23):

SCORPIO (Oct 24 - Nov 22): You’ve always felt like an outsider and this Fall it all comes to a head when you’re caught in a knife fight between rival Southside and Big Eddy gangs. Stay gold, Scorpy.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 - Dec 21): You bury old comic books in the backyard, intending for them to one day be discovered by distant generations and your Marvel heros revered as the Gods of our

ancient world. Instead, a friend messes with you by burying your old diaries, and in the year 2329, the whole world knows you French kissed Katherine Lawlor.

Shout out to Katherine Lawlor.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 20): You finally nail down a decent basement suite on Revy Rentals. However, it feels a lot like the bottom of a well and your landlord Buffalo Bill shouts at you all the time to put lotion on.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21 - Feb 19): This whole Reved Quarterly you’ve been reading is fake news. And worse, Donald Trump is really president. Oh, and, the Earth is flat. And those Snowbirds that flew over Revelstoke this summer left chem-trails.

And when listening to Shaun Aquiline’s hypnotic voice on E-Z Rock, you turn into a Manchurian candidate.

&

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PISCES (Feb 20 - Mar 20) You and your old man go fishing.

You spend the whole day fighting a sturgeon you never see, never reel in and the whole thing never makes any sense and you determine life is meaningless. This inspires you to write a novel that takes months, convinced that it could win a Nobel Prize for Literature, and title it: The Old Man and the Sea. However the publisher informs you that Hemingway beat you to the punch, publishing the same novel 65 years ago. At least

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Reved Quarterly FALL 2017 19