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Spoken word
Erond Simmons is a man of many words. Words that could land him in prison
Meet Philly native Jody Gerson, hands down THE most important woman in the music biz right now. | Page 19
10.19
marc cohn 10.25
10.20
the stranger feat. mike santoro
wxpn welcomes rhett miller with cliff hillis
10.26
10.26 in the loft
billy joel tribute
william duvall of alice in chains
11.1 11.2 11.5 11.7 11.8
10.23 in the loft
10.23
WILLIE NILE WITH BRAD RAY HAPPIER HOUR: AN EVENING WITH GRETCHEN RUBIN & ELIZABETH CRAFT STEVEN PAGE TRIO (FORMERLY OF BARENAKED LADIES) WITH DEAN FREIDMAN LOOSE ENDS FT. JANE EUGENE JON MCLAUGHLIN: ME & MY PIANO TOUR WITH SAWYER
jackopierce
with alan chapell
11.9 11.10 11.12 11.13 11.15
the vindys
JOHN SEBASTIAN MISTER MANN’S JAM SESSION EDWIN MCCAIN IDAN RAICHEL - PIANO SONGS KEVIN GRIFFIN (OF BETTER THAN EZRA) WITH SINCLAIR: ANYWHERE YOU GO TOUR 11.17 DAVID BROZA AND FRIENDS
amy speace
with the sea, the sea
10.27
avery*Sunshine
11.20 MAX WEINBERG’S JUKEBOX WITH JOSHUA DAVIS 11.22 COREY SMITH 11.23 MARSHALL CRENSHAW TRIO 11.24 WXPN WELCOMES DESSA 11.25 MIKI HOWARD 11.27 RAHSAAN PATTERSON 11.30 DWELE - TWO SHOWS! 12.1 DAVE HOLLISTER
10.24
10.24 in the loft
Glenn Jones
10.27 in the loft
macy gray two shows!
the bros. landreth Tour ‘87 with special guests
10.31
allen stone’s karaoke extravaganza
wxpn welcomes
12.3 DAVID BENOIT: A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS WITH SPECIAL GUEST SARA GAZAREK 12.5 STEPHEN KELLOGG 12.6 CITY WINERY AND POINT ENTERTAINMENT PRESENT VIENNA TENG 12.7 FRIENDS OF THE BROTHERS GREGG ALLMAN BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION
12.8 DENNY LAINE AND THE MOODY WING BAND 12.12 JUMP, LITTLE CHILDREN WITH HULA HI-FI 12.15 & 12.16 LOS LOBOS 12.19 DONNA THE BUFFALO 12.21 RODRIGUEZ: AN INTIMATE EVENING OF MUSIC & CONVERSATION
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FROM THE EDITOR
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e get our own level of hate crease of the clientele. Nothing can be done mail flooding our inbox, but except by law enforcement and their hands are tied. How about the non-violent clientele it’s rare when we get someone that work hard and are not involved in this else’s. war? I feel they deserve the best, and as long That was the case this week as the hospitals cater to the wrong people, when we received a part of than the system needs to be changed. rants — from the same readHere’s where it goes off the rails... er — but addressed to a completely different Maybe Krasner can patronize the criminals publication. Not sure why we were tagged on and send Michael White to jail for the murder these jawns and perhaps the reader, and writer, one Mark Polito can oblige in telling us, but charge he deserves. The African American people deserve to pay for the high percentthese letters are truly something else. age of crime in these areas. Mr. Schellenger’s But quickly before I get into both, I need to clarify a few things. First of all, shoutout to @ death is just one of many examples of the racial climate in Philadelphia. Mr. Schellenger TrophyBikes on Instagram for calling our asswas an economic plus and a tragic loss for this es out (and me personally) for referring to bikcity. White hopefully will spend the ing in Philadelphia as a “hobby.” We rest of his pathetic life in jail where did so in a small calendar post hyphe belongs and Mr. Schellenger’s ing the upcoming Philly Bike Expo business friend’s will express their and the riders of Philadelphia didn’t anger by halting the only progress let us live it down. the city is making. Please accept this as a mea culpa His friends are much more powon behalf of myself and PW — in erful than White and his ilk. The print. violence is perpetuated by a large Secondly, yes this is week No. 2 percentage of African-Americans, of being sued by a photographer not Blacks from Africa, Asia or for named R. Bradley Maule to the tune that matter most immigrants. The of $150,000. Mind you, this is for a police will be more aggressive and rights-free photo we used in 2016 they will be welcomed with opened that Maule had copyrighted only arms from the productive citizens of last month and is currently trying this great city to perform their duty to wrest monies for in the after@SPRTSWTR and pursue and lock them up. math. I penned a column breaking — Mark Polito | Philadelphia down the whole shebang in last week’s Fall Guide issue. You can also read it ‘You girls don’t have a glue’ on our website, philadelphiaweekly.com. Hello [Inquirer writers] Ms. [Valerie] Russ That invite for coffee to understand why and [Elizabeth] Wellington, I went to Temple you’re doing this is still open, Brad. OK, here’s those letters. The first pertains 45 years ago and it was a state-funded college. It was not AN HBCU SCHOOL. Please look up to the loss of Hahnemann Hospital before going off the rails with a rant regarding teen article written by college professor John J. DiLulio about the state of race in America. Michael White in the unfortunate death of Mr. DiLulio went to temple and grew up in Sean Schellenger in Rittenhouse. The second South Philly and experienced racism right is a rant over a t-shirt that surfaced at Temple here at home. I experienced it also. I also came last weekend asserting the university is “HBCU-ish,” on the count of it’s sizable black and from a leftist liberal mom and Jewish [grandma] who raised me. Were it not for my materbrown student body. nal grandparents I would have grown up in These jawns have been edited for brevity, the projects at 3rd and Christian with a single tone — and jargon. Enjoy. mom and sister. I attended Bishop Neumann H.S. at 27th Re: Homicides and the loss of and Mifflin and the black youths would pull Hahnemann by Abraham Gutman the cable wires off and try to break the winThe loss is the [accelerated] training workdows and we would hold up our school bags ers receive due to the violent clientele they to protect ourselves. The driver would then go serve. This is the real tragedy. The medical out and get us to safety. As South Philly boys, staff are under war-like conditions and the we understood about territory and so did they. miracles they perform help them for the rest Growing up in a mixed neighborhood with of their careers and probably the rest of their no race riots, attending a Catholic grade lives. school with academic standards and nuns I worked in these areas as a first responder who care, with Black, Irish, Polish, Puerto Riand I learned more in two years [than] a first can kids, we all got along. You girls don’t have responder in Springfield although Darby is a glue. Go out and get some experience. stepping up to the plate and their hospitals — Mark Polito | Philadelphia will be under the financial gun due to the in-
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STATE OF OUR CITY
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Who fucking
The unsaid motto in the wake of the disaster that is the city’s OnePhilly payroll system, as it’s still unknown just how much city workers have been screwed (or benefitted) from a software system riddled with errors still needing figuring out. An Inquirer report just last week showed the other side of the mishap as thousands of workers benefited — as much as 12% of the city’s workforce — from what was believed to be an improvement to a previously antiquated city accounting system. Antiquated, sure. But at least it wasn’t a weekly reminder of a $40 million mistake.
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If you’re considering going to the annual Philadelphia Film Festival but just don’t have the scratch for a pass, the city’s film society announced Tuesday it’s bringing back its PFS on Us ticket program ahead of the 28th annual festivities. Tickets to all American-made fiction and nonfiction films can get snatched up. To get yours, hit up filmadelphia.org/pff-program/.
One small step for... This week, a pair of Pennsylvania State Senators presented SB350, a bill to fully legalize marijuana in the state. Perhaps the biggest level of awesome about this is a provision advocating for the expungement of those currently serving time or who served criminal time for marijuana-related offenses. Pa. Sen. Sharif Street (D-Phila.) is one of the two senators looking for this to pass, but without a clear explanation of where the bulk of regulatory funding would go (a potential $500 million, according to state Sen. Daylin Leach), this may be a slow drag through a Republican heavy capital.
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STATE OF OUR CITY The number of coats given to Philly kids courtesy of the Auto Dealers Caring for Kids Foundation 12th annual Driving Away the Cold event. The event pairs 170 local auto dealerships in the region, and it distributed a total of 52,700 coats in the Greater Philadelphia Region, which was a record according to a release. Shoutout to the auto dealers considering everyone’s out here saying how much an Indian Summer like ours means a shitty winter.
In keeping it in the spirit of the Sixers this week (mainly because we really don’t want to talk the Birds following a loss to the Vikings heading into Cowboys week), we’d be remiss if we didn’t show you this insanely hilarious picture of Sixers forward Boban Marjanovic, who’s overjoyed to find a throw blanket that covers his seven-foot, threeinch frame. Marjanovic became the face of Springfield, Missouri-based Big Blanket Co., and as you can see overjoyed is clearly an understatement.
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“Ben [Simmons] making that three just made my heart feel good. I don’t know and I can’t explain it but watching that was what I can only amount to a father watching his kid bring home a pretty girl. That shot was without question the pretty girl.” — Man in attendance of last week’s Sixers preseason game against the Guangzhou Loong-Lions in which Sixers guard Ben Simmons, who has been working on his long range game all season nailed the first three-point shot of his professional career, improving Simmons to 1-for-17 all time in the pros.
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019
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Erond Simmons, who hosts a YouTube channel called “An Empath’s Journey,” made comments in a recent video regarding Philadelphia family court judge Chris Mallios that are now being perceived as death threats. | Image: YouTube screenshot
Free speech or T death threat? Did a Philadelphia man go too far in a YouTube video about a family court judge? That’s what prosecutors are trying to decide OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
he first two videos that took place in my life that led to the Erond Simmons posted emotional breakdown,” which saw on his active YouTube him leading police on a chase in channel went live on Dec. Olney as runners made their way 5, 2018. south toward the finish line. One was a local news re- BY BRIAN Luckily, nobody was inHICKEY port about a man driving a jured during the security stolen trash truck into the breach. Broad Street Run course seven That incident — for which he months earlier. pleaded guilty to criminal misThat was quickly followed up chief, unauthorized use of a motor with an eight-minute “Borrowed vehicle and fleeing or attempting The Trash Truck” soliloquy in to elude an officer — left Simmons which the 42-year-old Wynnefield sentenced to two years of probaresident explained “the things that tion.
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PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY The 156th and most recent video he posted on “An Empath’s Journey” went live on Oct. 1. It’s the reason why he was arrested early last week and brought before Common Pleas Court Judge Scott DiClaudio for a morning hearing on Oct. 10, where he faced a revocation of his probation. The possible violation had nothing to do with the stolen-truck case but could be the tipping point that landed him in prison for allegedly threatening the life of a Philadelphia judge. In the 12-minute video, Simmons holds court about what he deems the perceived injustice of Common Pleas Court Judge Chris Mallios extending an order of protection sought by Simmons’s estranged wife. (It’s one of many videos related to his ongoing custody battle). “That shit is a scam down there, Family Court,” said Simmons, sitting on a stoop before a bright red door, about 11 minutes into the video. “Judge Mallios. I read energy. C’mon man. You can’t judge me. You need suntan lotion, motherfucker. All living things feed off the sun. If you need a suntan lotion, how you gonna judge me?” Then, he uttered a couple lines that prompted a Philadelphia Police Department detective assigned to the Homeland Security Unit to reach out to the city’s judiciary with an urgent concern. “You, you, you [are] dead. Dead man walking,” Simmons said of Mallios, an openly gay attorney who took the bench in 2015 after serving as the University of Pennsylvania’s sexual violence investigative officer and DA Office’s LGBTQ liaison. “Get the fuck out of here. You can’t judge me. I feel good.”
before DiClaudio about the matter. Though DiClaudio seemed initially concerned that the DA’s office had decided against filing charges in the case — that’s what the detective initially told him — Retacco noted that no such decision has yet been made. “That’s incorrect,” said Retacco, whose late father Louis was a municipal judge. “It remains under investigation.” Lipsky noted that “it seems like this detective has gone rogue” by reaching out directly to a judge with concerns about a YouTube video. “I have a serious issue with that detective personally calling you,” continued Lipsky, to which DiClaudio responded that it was a reasonable response to what could’ve been an emergency situation worthy of attention. During a rather unusual hearing that lasted a shade under an hour, the sides (and those in the gallery on unrelated matters) would watch the entire video via a laptop on the prosecution’s table. Simmons shook his head at moments as it played. The judge said that he didn’t see anything that rose to the level of a probation violation in Simmons being critical of the judge (even profanely), or the racially-charged comments about someone who needs suntan lotion (meaning white) being unable to fairly judge
an African American defendant. What he was most concerned about was the “you dead” and “Dead Man Walking” comments. The judge noted that those lines could be taken as death threats that were issued by someone who’d already driven a stolen trash truck onto a closed street where thousands of people were running. “To me, at first glance, those are threats,” DiClaudio said. After viewing the video, Lipsky said that Simmons treats the YouTube channel like a “therapeutic” diary of sorts, and has no mental-health issues. Simmons didn’t raise his voice, or show (or allude) to any weapons, added Lipsky, interpreting those lines as her client saying that the judge “is dead inside,” not threatening his life. “He’s not threatening a judge,” Lipsky argued. Simmons spoke up in his defense. “It was just a metaphor, just an allegory,” he explained of his words before confirming that the “sun lotion” comments did translate into his belief that a white judge could not be impartial and fair toward defendants of color. “I’ve been doing good on probation, holding down a job.”
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“I feel for Judge Mallios, the chill that must have gone through him when he’d learned about this...but, I think we have to be careful with this case.” — Lyandra Retacco, supervising attorney of the District Attorney’s Office charging unit
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Watch simmons’ video and judge for yourself on philadelphiaweekly.com Simmons may have felt good when he filmed that video, but he probably wasn’t when he was led into Courtroom 905 in the Criminal Justice Center, with his hands cuffed. As it turns out, the detective contacted DiClaudio about the video on the afternoon of Oct. 6. Simmons’s words had been perceived as a potential death threat against Mallios to the point that a 24-7 security detail has been assigned to him in the days since. Martin O’Rourke, spokesman for the First Judicial District which oversees Philadelphia courts, said the FJD “would not be commenting” on the situation. Simmons was taken into custody in advance of Thursday morning’s hearing where his defense attorney — Alison Lipsky of the Public Defender’s Office — and Lyandra Retacco, supervising attorney of the District Attorney’s Office charging unit, would make arguments
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This isn’t Erond Simmons’ first run in with the law. Last year, he was sentenced to two years probation following his arrest for driving a stolen city trash truck onto the course of the annual Broad Street Run. | Image: YouTube screenshot
SIMMONS, FROM PAGE 7 For her part, Retacco said she was concerned for Mallios, as her father wouldn’t tell people what he did for a living or have a listed phone number because of the dangers that judges face. “I feel for Judge Mallios, the chill that must have gone through him when he’d learned about this,” she said. “But, I think we have to be careful with this case.” Specifically, she worried about the “chilling effect” that cracking down on people being publicly critical of public officials would have. She said her father drew comparisons to Nazi Germany when it came to stifling free speech. DiClaudio did not decide whether Simmons’s probation should be revoked in light
of the video. He scheduled a follow-up hearing for Oct. 17, by which point Simmons — who will remain in custody — will have undergone a mental-health examination. “I’m not inclined to release him right now,” said DiClaudio, who will now decide whether those words in the video qualify as a threat. At that point, Simmons — for whom a stayaway order was issued related to Mallios — will either remain in custody or released with house-arrest restrictions upon him. Watch the Erond Simmons video and read more on this ongoing case via philadelphiaweekly.com
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Boy grows up in Nazi-era Germany. Boy befriends Adolf Hitler. Apparently, as a result, comedy ensues. See for yourself through “Jojo Rabbit,” one of the many films featured at this year’s Philadelphia Film Festival. | Image: Kimberley French. © 2018 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
T Watch parties We countdown the 10 can’t miss movies of the upcoming Philadelphia Film Festival
he annual Philadelphia In between, the festival will consist Film Festival, which gives of more than 100 films, including special programs of movies from area cineastes a chance to get an BY STEPHEN France and China, categories SILVER of local films and documenearly jump on the year’s prestaries, and even a program tige motion pictures, gets unof vintage classics like “Blue derway Thursday night, with opening film Just Mercy, and con- Velvet,” “Magnolia,” “Defending Your tinues through Sunday, Oct. 27, with Life,” and the J-horror touchstone director Rian Johnson’s Knives Out “Audition.” serving as the closing film. SEE FILM FEST, PAGE 11
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019
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FILM
Director Rian Johnson will take a completely different approach from the “Star Wars” films with “Knives Out,” the highly anticipated flick serving as a final film of PFF 2019. | Image: Claire Folger © 2018 MRC II Distribution
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
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FILM FEST, FROM PAGE 9 The full program can be found here, along with information on how to buy tickets. Here’s a look at the 10 films at this year’s festival that we’re anticipating the most. “Parasite” (Oct. 17, 6 p.m., Philadelphia Film Center) The latest film from South Korean director Bong Joon-Ho won the Palme d’Or at Cannes in May. “Parasite” introduces us to the relationship between two very different families. The word from the film’s director (who also made “Snowpiercer”) is to know as little as possible about it going in. “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” (Oct. 19 at 3 p.m, Oct. 26 at 3 p.m., both at Ritz East) This French film from director Celine Sciamma tells the story of an 18th-century same-sex affair between an artist (Noemie Merlant) and the woman she paints (Adele Haenel). This one also won an award at Cannes. “Jojo Rabbit” (Oct. 19, 6 p.m., Philadelphia Film Center) The latest film from “Thor: Ragnorok” director Taika Waititi has one of the most outrageous premises of any film this year: A boy growing up in Nazi Germany whose imaginary friend is Adolf Hitler (played by the director himself) slowly becomes disillusioned with the Nazi state when he meets a young Jewish woman (Thomasin McKenzie). The film, as you may have guessed, has had a mixed reception thus far. “Swallow” (Oct. 20 at 8 p.m., Oct. 21 at 12:45 p.m., both at Ritz Five) Carlo Mirabella-Davis’ debut film is about a young upper-class woman (Haley Bennett) who develops a taste for inanimate objects while feuding with her husband (Austin Stowell) and mother-in-law (Elizabeth Marvel). “Maybe Next Year” (Oct. 21 at 6 p.m. at Philadelphia Film Center, Oct. 26 at 9:30 p.m. at Ritz East) This documentary by Kyle Thrash is premiering at the festival and follows fans of the Philadelphia Eagles as the team made their championship run during the 2017 season. The documentary follows several fans, one of whom is the notorious YouTuber Eatdatpussy445, and it wrestles with the question of whether all those stories about Philly sports fans are true. “Marriage Story” (Oct. 20, 8 p.m., Phila-
delphia Film Center) Director Noah Baumbach made a movie in 2005 called “The Squid and the Whale,” which told a fictionalized version of his parents’ divorce. Now, he’s made another movie about divorce — this time, presumably, about his own from Jennifer Jason Leigh. Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson play the splitting couple in a film that drew near-universal praise on the festival circuit. It heads to Netflix next month. “The Irishman” (Oct. 22, 8:15 p.m., Philadelphia Film Center) Director Martin Scorsese’s latest gangster epic, starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci, is based on the controversial memoir by Pennsylvania mob hanger-on Frank “The Irishman” Sheeran. It touches on decades of the mob and political history, some of it in Philadelphia, and its three-hour-plus running time means it’ll run until nearly midnight. “Waldo on Weed” (Oct. 22, 8:30 p.m. and Oct. 27 at 12:00 p.m., both at Ritz East) The latest film from South Jersey native filmmaker Tommy Avallone, “Waldo on Weed” is about Brian Dwyer, the founder of Fishtown’s Pizza Brain, and his quest to obtain cannabis oil for his cancer-stricken young son. “Motherless Brooklyn” (Oct. 24, 8:30 p.m., Philadelphia Film Center) Edward Norton’s first film as director since “Keeping the Faith” 19 years ago is a noir adaptation of Jonathan Lethem’s novel, starring Norton as a private eye with Tourette’s Syndrome. The film boasts a cast that includes Bruce Willis, Bobby Cannavale, Alec Baldwin and Gugu Mbatha-Raw. “Knives Out” (Oct. 25, 6:45 p.m., Philadelphia Film Center) The latest film from Rian Johnson, the director of “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” is a whodunit that stars the likes of Chris Evans, Daniel Craig, Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon and Toni Collette. The film’s advance buzz is strong, and Johnson will be on hand at the festival to introduce the movie. Johnson isn’t the only creator of note who’s set to appear at the festival. The Sixers’ Ben Simmons will be there to introduce “The Australian Dream,” a film that he executive-produced. Also appearing? You guessed it, Frank Stallone, who will host a screener of a documentary about his life, “Stallone: Frank That Is.”
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For the past three Saturdays in October, Site/ Sound: Revealing the Rail Park has engaged visitors with an immersive arts and music experience all while learning about what’s to come with the nearly three-mile expanse. | Image courtesy: Mural Arts Philadelphia
Take it all in
It’s the last week to check out the badass art installation that is Site/Sound: Revealing the Rail Park BY ALEX NAGY
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
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46th Annual
I
t’s your final chance. The last viewing of “Soon/Now/Gone” will The interactive festival known as take place under the Carlton St. tunnel beSite/Sound: Revealing the Rail Park tween 11th and 12th streets. is rounding its final week and it’s been about an immense of an interMoon Viewing Platform makes use of an active experience one could’ve not often overlooked and poorly placed piece of expected from an event on an old rail- land. Artists Nadia Hironaka, Matthew Suib way. and Eugene Lew took advantage of the space A collaborative project between Mural Arts to project short films on a nearby building. Films of moon phases and musical perPhiladelphia, Friends of the Rail Park and American Composers Forum, the arts ini- formances are there to allow the audience to tiative features art installments dedicated to gather in a meaningful space. It is reminiscent of the Japanese “karesansui,” often also breathing life into The Rail Park. known as a zen garden. All exhibits close on Oct. 19. The three inSite/Sound was stallations offered first previewed on as part of the exhibOct. 2 at the site of it — “Aspect 281,” “Aspect 281.” View“Soon/Now/Gone” ers got to see the and Moon Viewing exhibit and listen Platform — have in on performances been on display Satfrom musicians who urdays since Oct. 5. would be performMusical and visual ing at the art installperformances coinments. cide with the instalKevin Dow, exlations. ecutive director of “Aspect 281” is a The Rail Park and multimedia exhibit Jane Golden, the set up in a parking executive director lot at a mixed-use of Mural Arts Philabuilding on Spring delphia, were joined Garden St. This inby other important stallation created by city figures to share Carolyn Healy and the importance of John JH Phillips Site/Sound’s concaptures the histonection with the ry of railroads and park. For those not their importance in aware, The Rail the city’s developPark is a public park ment. built on railroads Nine-foot-tall that once serviced smokestacks dot the Reading Termithe landscape, with nal. These rails are train tracks set up a significant part of on the ground and A mix of music, art and film have been on Philadelphia’s hisa projection of old display at Site/Sound: Revealing the Rail tory, but the tracks railroad footage and Park. The final weekend is to come with remained unused signals on the side of the festivities wrapping on Oct. 19. | Image for years — until the building. A lumicourtesy: Mural Arts Philadelphia the construction of nescent signal board the park. stands at the back of Phase One construction of the park has the exhibit. been completed. The park is planned to be BEEP — the Boyer College Electroacoustic Project from Temple University — will be per- three miles in total, but it currently occupies a quarter mile stretch of tracks between Noble forming at the installation Oct. 19 along with and Callowhill streets. composer Michael Reiley McDermott. In large part, this was the impetus of Site/ Both have performed since the installation’s Sound. Part art, but also part created to help opening. Philadelphians envision the future of The Rail “Soon/Now/Gone” is an installation by artists Erik Ruin and Rosie Langabeer that Park. As engagement and interest in the art is set in a new location every week. Taking surrounding the history of the Park and its place under different tunnels and viaducts future, the knowledge of construction to come of the Rail Park, this exhibit allows viewers renews the city’s vigor around this ambitious project. to utilize a zoopraxiscope — historic devices For more on this project and future plans used to watch moving pictures — to look at for The Rail Park, visit therailpark.org/sighthand-drawn images with specially created soundtracks. Each video tells a different story sound-revealing-the-rail-park/. about the history of railroads in the Victorian @ALEXBNAGY era.
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14
OPINION
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY
Dumbing it down A WTF op-ed on the quality (or lack thereof) in today’s films and the film industry at-large BY CAROL BOND This former author writes that movies today, ones filled with comic book characters and sadistic madmen like Joaquin Phoenix’s portrayal of the Joker, have no soul and only feed into what’s believed as a constant dumbing down of today’s modern society. | Image: YouTube screenshot
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
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Films like “John Wick” are lauded, but this writer asks what since the first installment of this trilogy has changed much to make the Wick series worth watching? | Image: Flickr
T
he times, they are ‘a changin... This is the title of a Bob Dylan song and the death knoll of quality cinema and artistic integrity. Quality cinema is on the wane and cheap thrills are the name of the game. Witness the films entitled “John Wick” and the action film genre. People repeatedly try to kill John Wick and we know nothing else but that he is an assassin and that a “hit” has been ordered on him. I call this tawdry in all ways. Quality literature was the basis for all cinematic creations. Talented writers had very finite and clear standards for screenwriters to follow; now we make films about comic book characters. This [article primarily is in] reference to Keanu Reeves and Joaquin Phoenix. I am a noir poet and comedy writer of seven books. There has been a general dumbing down of the creativity and brilliance of past years. We are making films about cartoon characters and sociopaths of lower level intelligence. The characters lack depth and have limited emotional range. Rage is the dominant emotion and the violence is the mainstay of the plot. It seems that it is a different world and films are reflecting this.
We are living in hostile times, times of alienation and hopelessness. We worship the anti-hero or the outlaw. It is, I am going to declare, a ruthless time. The era of the “Gangsta” has arrived. Mourn the days of the past. There are no more George Bailey-esque movies like :”It’s a Wonderful Life” with Jimmy Stewart. Shed a tear, even. But be very quiet. Let no one see you cry. No one at all. There are rules, goddammit. We don’t build houses without roofs, likewise, we should not create shallow characters. What we know about John Wick is that he has a strong survival instinct and this is the extent of his entire characterization. It is not the actor, Keanu Reeves,’ fault. It is the writer’s fault. Basically, people are both good and bad and these qualities must be portrayed. There are two sides of the moon, both light and dark. Film directors are glamorizing violence. Everybody wants to be the outsider or the iconoclast, a loner who bends all the rules. Violence is artfully presented to excite and tantalize. I noticed that John Wick is never attacked all at once. They take turns and attack him gradually. Some of the precepts of a great piece are skilled characterization, one that shows the protagonist’s major qualities. Also, a believable plot line that illuminates the character’s personal qualities is absolutely necessary. When we read The Caine Mutiny, for instance, we learn that Captain Queag has a nervous condition, [hence his constant] handling of two small, metal balls. Talented writers show, SEE FILM FLOP, PAGE 16
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Superhero movies like the “Avengers” have become all the rage, earning millions at the box office. However, our writer opines that movies like these have kickstarted the lack of intelligent movies — and moviegoers. | Image: Yunius Kawa/Flickr
FILM FLOP, FROM PAGE 15 they do not tell. Good movies come from great literature, no two ways about it. One astounding characterization is Joaquin Phoenix’s portrayal of The Joker, a violent psychopath. It is an out and out picture of evil. It is like a guided tour of a madman’s mind which illuminates the malaise and extreme pain of the main character, Arthur Fleck. Evil so intense as to paralyze, and defeat the viewer. That is all. His entire life was marked by misery and abuse thick as a poisonous cloud. Arthur was doomed from the womb by a sadistic mother. What if evil people are abused people. Maybe there is a reason for what they do. The Joker is the most profound portrayal of a monster ever filmed anywhere anytime. He is sheer genius to portray such a person. The kind of feelings inside him as a man are both turbulent and evil. Yes, he did an accurate portrayal of a psychotic man: he was a frightening presence. At first, I wanted to flee the theater and I kept saying, “I can’t watch this, he frightens me to death.” This movie is a treatise on evil and a fearsome journal into a psychotic mind and the factors that impelled him to murder people. What are the factors you might ask? The cruelty and coldness of others in his world are the causal factors and Arthur Fleck
had an abusive mother who tied him to a radiator when he was a child. When a mother is abusive it poisons the spirit pool of the child. When who loves you is two messages like ‘I love you’ and ‘fear me,’ there is a kind of shredding of the soul: one might become a genius or a monster. And somewhat of both. This tour de force performance is based on real life experience. I do not analyze [Joaquin Phoenix], he is beyond brilliance and his performance has no equal in heaven or in hell. However, two truths come from this fascinating and fearsome existence. Intense heat and pressure produce a diamond. And grapes are starved for water in vineyards to produce a more potent wine. Suffering produces monsters or genius. There is also the dwarf trees where the tree is prevented from growing to make a beautiful piece of work. Then again, Joaquin might be a beautiful monster. Creativity is a fearsome thing and its fires burn bright. That All Folks. Bugs Bunny. And only the Shadow Knows what evil lurks in the heart of man. Are you a master of well-written ramblings? Send them our way and if they hold some weight, we’ll run it: mail@philadelphiaweekly.com.
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17
Rockin’ on
The Black Keys collective of Patrick Carney and Dan Auerbach brought their caravan to Philadelphia on Oct. 14 in a return following a five-year break from touring and performing. | Image: Jason Persse
After a five-year respite, the vintage duo that is the Black Keys make a fresh start BY ALEX NAGY
S
ome bands just get better with age. Making a recent stop at the Wells Fargo Center, one of the first on a worldwide tour, the Black Keys brought the same bravado and panache and before their fiveyear hiatus promoting their newest album, the highly anticipated, “Let’s Rock.” Lead vocalist and guitarist Dan Auerbach and drummer Patrick Carney stayed busy during the supposed time off and were working with other bands and musicians while perfecting their own sounds. Despite the time apart from each other, they didn’t skip a beat at the show, proving their spots as resilient rock icons of our time. SEE THE BLACK KEYS, PAGE 18
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019
MUSIC
THE BLACK KEYS, FROM PAGE 17
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We caught up with Carney before the start of the tour in September. He was hanging out at his home in Nashville, rehearsing for the tour and soaking in the time with his oneyear-old son and 14-year-old teenage stepdaughter. In the five years between the releases of “Turn Blue” and “Let’s Rock,” what were you and Dan up to? Well, a lot, kind of. I broke my shoulder in the middle of the Turn Blue tour, so it kind of put that tour on the skids and it stopped. When I finally got better, we finished what we were obligated to do. In 2015, we didn’t schedule anything else tour wise or band wise, and we decided to hit the brakes, [to be honest], we were both kind of fried. At that time, I made a record with Michelle Branch, who I ended up getting married to and having a kid with. She moved from L.A. to Nashville with me and her daughter, and then I went on tour with her. I made about seven or eight albums for other people. I spent a lot of time just starting a family, you know. That’s what I did. I did a record with Chris Thomson, the drummer from Vampire Weekend. I did a record for Calvin Johnson from K. Records. I did an album with this band Repeat, Repeat, who is coming to do some shows with us. I can’t even think of all of the stuff I did, but I stayed pretty busy. Well, you seem like a very busy man. Dan is busier, trust me. I’m a homebody at least half a year. What’s your creative process when creating new music? Do you take any risks? Dan and I have this way of working where we just get into a room together, sit down with our instruments and just start jamming. When we come across something that sparks our interest, we start trying to develop it quickly. It usually takes an hour or two for the music itself to develop into the structure of a song. If it doesn’t happen within an hour, we are moving on, so we work pretty quickly. Once we get an idea together, Dan will start trying to work out lyrics and find a melody and stuff like that. That’s the way we work together, and when we work with other artists it’s always different. That’s why it’s fun to produce other bands because producing basically
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY is problem solving. When you do it enough, you get forced not to make the same decisions over and over again, so you can work from a formula and it helps things kind of fly by. I think this record’s a good example of that – we just kind of wanted to have fun together. That was like the main goal of this album – not trying to get a song that gets played on the radio. Do you and Dan have any unique traditions you do in your downtime while touring? What do you do when you’re on tour in Philly? We would go to South Street or something and do some record shopping, that would typically be what we would do on a day off. If I have a day off on a Sunday, I will watch football all day. Having a baby, I’m looking forward to seeing him and sleeping in on those days, which is incredible. How do the atmosphere and crowds in Philly compare to other places you’ve played? Well, we’ve played in Philly a bunch. I think our very first show in Philly was at the Electric Factory opening for Beck in 2003. We were late for the show, we were speeding on the expressway and were going like 90. A cop pulled up next to us and just looked at us like we were complete fucking idiots, and was screaming at us to slow down. He had something else to handle so he let us walk, and we showed up to the venue ten minutes after our set time. We threw our stuff on stage and we still got to play like 30 minutes. The crowds in Philly are great. In Japan, it could be really unnerving. The crowd is very polite and does not make noise until the very end. During the whole set, you’re just like, “holy shit, what the fuck is happening?” It’s actually like that in parts of Holland, too. It’s weird how the little minor cultural differences can make the show different. That said, we haven’t toured the US in our headlining tour since 2014, and I have a feeling the cell phone addiction is going to be way more pronounced. In another five years, what do you see The Black Keys doing? Ideally, I hope that we are still having fun and [playing] music. That’s ultimately what the goal is. I think if we’re both still enjoying it, that we’ll still be doing it. That’s what I hope for.
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Golden girl P
ARTS
19
Philadelphia native Jody Gerson, CEO of Universal Music Group will receive her star on the Philadelphia Music Alliance Walk of Fame. | Image: John Michael Fulton
The roots of music queen Jody Gerson reside right here in the Greater Philadelphia Region
ardon the pun, but, it is universally that same Cherry Hill nightclub was the Latin known that Jody Gerson, the freshCasino, [which at the time was the] premiere, ly anointed Chairman and CEO of bells-and-whistles-filled live performance Universal Music Publishing Group space for the likes of Frank Sinatra, Ray — Universal’s global pubCharles, Sammy Davis Jr. Don Ricklishing division — has les, Diana Ross, Richard Pryror and quickly become the most the toast of Gamble & Huff’s PhiladelBY A.D. phia International Records. important and successful woman in AMOROSI The stories of Charlie Gerson and the music business. his booking largesse are the stuff Since grabbing that gig in 2015, the of legend, and he taught it all to his first woman chairman of a global music company and the first woman to be named daughter Jody, be it at their home in the Philly CEO of a major music publisher – all at a time suburbs, backstage at the Latin, or on the road during business trips with hot shot talent when publishing rights and ownership is the hottest hot button topic in the industry – has agents in New York City and Los Angeles. “I watched every interaction backstage,” said raised UMPG’s positive profile, and perhaps Jody, “and always knew I wanted to work with even more importantly, its cash flow. artists and great songs.” Not only has Gerson grown Universal reveSo she did. And for all of the work she’s exnue by 40% and beyond $1 billion dollar mark, uded over the years, on Oct. 22, during a dayshe’s signed newbies such as Ariana Grande, time ceremony on Broad Street and a nightPost Malone, Billie Eilish, Quavo, Jack White, Justin Bieber, Travis Scott, and Philly’s Tier- time gala at the Bellevue, Gerson joins many ra Whack to her publishing house. She has of the local legends she idolized on the Walk of Fame for the Philadelphia Music Alliance. also welcomed legacy acts such as Elton John, Before all of that, she sat down with us to Paul Simon, Coldplay and – in an outstanding piece of business – Bruce Springsteen to Uni- talk music, the scene today and how she views versal fold, a coup considering that The Boss’ it all through her Philly eyes. Who was the first artist you saw backpublishing history has, for 40-plus years, been stage, then performing, at the Latin Casidispersed and independent. no? What to know where the savvy to get Jody Gerson: Here’s the thing. I literally through the publishing business, from Chappell to EMI Music Publishing to Sony/ATV grew up, as a baby, at the Latin Casino. The Music Publishing, and now Universal, comes club moved to Cherry Hill from Philly in 1960. I was born in 1961, and eventually I found myfrom? “I’m a Philly girl, through and through,” self on stage with Diana Ross & the Supremes, said Gerson on a crazy busy Friday morning, The O’Jays. Teddy Pendergrass. Richard Prydriving through Beverly Glen Canyon traffic or. The Latin did shows Monday through Sunday, two shows on Sunday, and I would go to in Los Angeles. Her father Charlie Gerson, was the former owner/operator of the disco-turned-new wave live venue Emerald City. Before that, SEE GERSON, PAGE 20
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019
20
ARTS
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Jody Gerson is the first woman chairman of a global music company and is responsible for signing major names like Ariana Grande, Billie Eilish, Justin Bieber, Travis Scott and fellow Philly native Tierra Whack. | Image: John Michael Fulton
GERSON, FROM PAGE 19 the matinee to have dinner with my father and my grandfather. My mom would drive us over the bridge from where we lived in Penn Valley and have ringside dinner virtually every Sunday. A comedian usually opened every show – Billy Crystal was one, in particular. The thing for me was, I really loved all of the artists who had recorded with Philadelphia International, any of the Gamble & Huff crew. Was there an artist, or someone from within your family that allowed you to see the psychology of the business, that primed you for what you do now? Absolutely, yes. I don’t know if there was
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
just one, but watching my father with talent, and seeing talent backstage — nervous before a show, having anxiety before a show, the calmness after a show — definitely affected me. I grew up a little precocious… so there was something about that interaction that gave me a real understanding of the complexity of being an artist; perhaps being different than other people. How is it you didn’t wind up as an artist? I can tell you, from being a part of those experiences that I knew that I wasn’t going to be an artist. I knew I was going to be behind the stage, work behind the stage. Being backstage formed who I would become as a person, professionally. I understood the anxiety. I watched my father
coaxing The O’Jays to get on-stage. I remember being backstage with Gladys Knight watching Roots for the first time. I can picture her, and the emotion she had before she went on stage. I remember the messages I got, at certain times, that there was danger lurking backstage with musicians, and transient people around them, people in the background. I learned, subconsciously, when I should be around, and when I should not be around. I learned a lot about human nature form being backstage. There are a million behind-the-scene jobs you could have taken from the million different opportunities at your feet. Why publishing? Taking a job in publishing, when I did, hap-
ARTS
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pened because it was the only job available. When I graduated from Northwestern, I had already been in LA on a vacation with my father - it was a business trip too. We stayed in Lake Tahoe with Lou Rawls and his family, but drove to Los Angeles for business meetings with agents. My dad took me to those meetings, talent agents he did business with or booked shows for him at the Latin. I fell in love with LA. My dad was friendly with a manager named Ron De Blasio, who handled Richard Pryor and Donna Summer. He was very influential in my life. Anyway, my father wasn’t going to let me go to school in LA as that town in the 1970s was full of crazies. So you went to Northwestern. Yes, but, when I graduated from there, my father still wouldn’t let me move to LA. So I went to New York, interviewed for a job at Chappell music, and got it. In turned out that music publishing was the perfect job for me. I can’t tell you that I knew anything about publishing before I took the job. I knew I loved the songs of Gamble and huff, Thom Bell and Linda Creed, and that they were extraordinarily talented songwriters. I didn’t know that there was a job behind that. I just knew I had a love for songs that could touch people and wanted to make that work for the songwriters. Do you know when you realized you had what it took to make it in publishing, that you were good? When I signed Arrested Development back when I was with EMI. I identified who they were and what they did in relationship to the music I loved growing up, I trusted my instincts, and signed music that I loved. At the time, Arrested Development was also important as in introduced me to the music that was — coming out of Atlanta, which meant songwriters such as Dallas Austin and Jermaine Dupree. That was where real success was for me, that Atlanta scene. Those were the first signings that gave me confidence that I could identity talent, and work with them. What does it mean to be great at what you do beyond recognizing talent and knowing what to do with it? From there, it is about giving them the support to achieve their dreams. It doesn’t happen by accident. Along with having that THING that Alicia Keys has, Lady Gaga has, Rosalia has…. All artists you signed. I want to know if they have a desire to have a cultural impact. Not everybody does. Once you recognize that, you then supply resources for them, be it emotional support or finding hem collaborators to make music or a support team to get their music into films, television and commercials or finding a team to help them administratively. I make sure every artist we sign understands the business, there is a tremendous financial upside to writing hit songs and the money comes in, not by accident, but because you have a great team that goes out and collect every penny from all over the world. Our job is to maximize value for
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peoples’ songs. I want artists to have career sustainability and financial sustainability. Before you came to Universal, did you wonder if you were undervalued or underestimated in the biz because you were a woman? I mean, you left Sony when you did because there was nowhere left to go after making all that success there. It was a combination of things. At that time, Sony’s publishing [group] had a chairman, Marty Bandier, who left [to] run a very successful company. For me, I was happy to be a great signer of talent, happy to be co-president of a company… until I wasn’t. At long as it worked out and business got done you were cool. Yes. Then my life changed. Around age 50, I got divorced I had three kids. Here I was having tremendous success. Why not go for something bigger? It was that moment where I got in touch with Universal, said I was considering leaving Sony, and they asked if I was ready to be the head of Universal Publishing. I [mean, I] played a role
Grande and Nick Jonas about where their careers should go in regard to publishing, as opposed to legacy artists such as Springsteen and Paul Simon? With the legacy artists it’s about sustaining that legacy, but finding new ways of having their music introduced to new audiences. So my pitch to Barry Gibb is different than my pitch to Ariana [Grande]. Not only are we making sure we are collecting every penny for you, we have people around the world who are thinking of new creative ideas for you and your songs. You have to fight for spots in television and film. Is there someplace your song should be. You know Samantha Gongol from Philadelphia? Yes, she’s apart of Marian Hill, they had that Apple ad with “Down.” Apple AirPods. That is how people know that song. It was my team in new work that pitched that song to Apple. You can’t assume that people are going to find you on Spotify. It is my people’s job to help find your songs a place. I also tell young artists that you want a company that is there when the chips ate dong because it is cyclical out here. Things are not always so good. Talking about young Philly, you just signed Tierra Whack. Considering she comes from an experimental hip hop lace, how do you see her sell-ability? Jody Gerson: I love her so much that I can’t even take it. It doesn’t have to be an artist who has a hit song on the radio. She’s culturally defining, she’s bold. She could be a director. She could do an animated movie She’s gonna do her thing and we’re going to support her. We’re going to introduce her to film studios and television executives. She’s going to have ideas about creating art, be it audio or video … I just started an organization with Alicia Keys called She Universal Music Publishing Group CEO Jody Gerson on her decision at is the Music about creating opportunities a young age to remain behind the scenes for women in a male dominated business. We’re supporting our sisters to have sucin not being the chairman before I was the chairman. I did cess, their own place in the business. Tierra is going to be it when it was the right time for me. Was I underestimated really important there, to that vision. because I was a woman or was I underestimated because What is your take on artists who want to own their there was someone at Sony before me who had built a publishing? great company and wasn’t ready to give it up? Reflecting It is about this: is a song more valuable sitting in your on it, it was 50-50. hard drive or because you have a team behind it adding In the years since you’ve been at Universal, you value? If you have the wherewithal to license your music, have brought about a 35% increase in profits. In the to go collect the monies owed on your own, to do all of era of streaming success, what can you do beyond the administration while you’re creating it and performwhat you are doing to get streaming services to treat ing it on the road – all the power to you. If you find the songwriters more fairly? right person who you believe will add value to your song, It’s complicated. Because a stream is a blended rate be- I would want my song heard, licensed and paid for all over tween a mechanical and a performance, ASCAP, BMI, all the world. the publishers have to continue to fight the fight, because That said, many artists own their songs. The days of of those complications. We are not working a free market other people owning your IP forever may be over. like the labels are. A lot of four fights are in Washington You’re forever in Los Angeles now. What of Philly Rates are not where we want to them to be, not in com- is left in you? parison to what the labels gets but it is adding up. Sadly it EVERYTHING. My childhood, both good and bad, is the middle class of writers — the album cut writers — formed me. I’m a Philly girl. it is what I hear and what I that are struggling. Hit writers are doing fine. experienced Being a Philly girl defines me. I suppose this question is generational: what are @ADAMOROSI you saying to newer, younger talent such as Araina
“There was danger lurking backstage with musicians...transient people around them, people in the background. I learned, subconsciously, when I should be around, and when I should not be around. I learned a lot about human nature from being backstage.”
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019
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PUZZLE
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The Horse’s Mouth
Champion of the Bored & Lonely
♫ Pumpkin Spice Edition ♫
Here’s the Thing October 17th, 2019
Ohmygod, a Fable! So there were these blackbirds, and, they lived in this big thing of brambles, like a thorn house. And they stayed in there cause they were really scared of this hawk that lived nearby and ate the smaller birds, so they only went out for food in the morning when the hawk was busy doing other stuff. So the hawk wanted to eat these guys but he was too big to fit in the brambles, so he talked to them and said, “Hey you guys, we should all be friends. We’re all birds and it’s kind of embarrassing how you all hide from everything.” And the birds said, “But you eat blackbirds. We saw you do it once.” And he was like, “Yeah but I’m different now. So if you let me in I’ll teach you how to be like me.” And he winked at the birds and the lady blackbirds all swooned and the guy blackbirds wanted to be bad ass too so they let him in and he kept to his word at first, and guarded the birds from other predators when they went to gather food. Without the fear on them, the birds ate constantly and became really really fat and lazy and then one day the hawk ate them all. Moral- never open your brambles to a hawk and then let your guard down when the hawk is in there with you.
Horoscopes
for R eal Human Beings!
Aquarius You would do well to turn inward and seek solace away from friends and loved ones. It would not be wise to try and further relations with others. Miscommunication is likely right now.
Taurus This is a week of introspection and nostalgia. Peruse old photo albums and love letters to remember who you are and what your goals are. Are you where you thought you would be?
Leo You’ll be motivated to increase your skill set or education by reading a new text book or signing up for a class. Follow through with it and the results look promising.
Scorpio It’s time to deal with a problem that has been bothering you, for better or for worse. If you ask for help when you need it, you’ll be able to overcome any obstacles.
Pisces Pay attention to the journey you’re on and enjoy the process as opposed to focusing on the goal. If you’re observant, you may notice an unexpected and auspicious fork.
Gemini Be flexible and expect the unexpected. You may find it hard to gather your thoughts and concentrate, but it’s imperative that you keep your wits about you.
Virgo It will take a supreme amount of effort on your part to gather any momentum this week, so don’t waste energy on frivolous pursuits until you get the necessities out of the way.
Sagittarius You may find that you can’t rely on your innate talents this week, but don’t be discouraged if you find yourself tongue-tied or slow-witted. Your fog will clear and things will return to normal.
Aries A close friend or lover may let you down, and your inherent optimism and faith in humanity will be shaken as a result. Accept let down with a grain of salt.
Cancer You’ll be confronted with a big decision, and it would do you well to seek advice from others before acting. Later in the week, you may have an opportunity for adventure.
Libra This week promises a surge in energy, and a hope or wish may come true later in the week. Be prepared to deal with an obstinate or domineering personality.
Capricorn An increase in intuition and observational prowess this week will allow you to see beyond people’s facades and into their hidden agendas and ulterior motives. Find some alone time.
The youngest human mother was only 5 years old. • Play-Doh was invented as a wallpaper Compliments, Cwestions, Concerns, Comments? cleaner. • St. Patrick was not Irish. • George Washington grew marijuana in his personal PhiladelphiaAdmirer@gmail.com garden. • Albert Einstein's last words are forgotten to time. The nurse at his bedside did @ThePhiladelphiaSecretAdmirer not speak German. • No casino in Las Vegas has a clock visible from the gambling floor. • 603 203 4766 secretfamily.com Unmarried men live an average of 10 years shorter than married men. • The origins of all martial arts can be traced to an Indian prince in 3000 BCE who didn't want his armies to If you hear Have something, rely on weapons. • “Elementary, my dear Watson." does not appear in any Sherlock Holmes a Terrif say something. novels. • You will consume roughly 60,000 pounds of food in your lifetime. • Pig orgasms ic W Text your eek! last up to 30 minutes. • Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy. • More than 50% of adult gals in the US feel uncomfortable leaving the house without some makeup. • More people Overheards™ to: 603 203 4766 watched Elvis' Aloha From Hawaii than the first moon landing. • Hippo milk is pink.
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
left-rights 1. Served with entree in a full course meal 6. Ancient Middle-Eastern kingdom 10. Masticate 14. Type of river herring 15. Master at charades 16. Extracted THC 17. Base of romance languages 18. Race St’s eastern terminus 19. Against 20. Attacking 22. Nays 23. Negative peninsula 24. Encircle or envelop completely 26. Wring out your sponge to avoid this 30. Like a spooky ghost 32. Downwind 33. Armada 35. Buoyant paddled half cylinder 39. The tin anniversary 41. Confederate general 42. Stevie Wonder, to Sir Paul 43. A type of Wrigley’s gum 44. To reverse the effect of something done 46. Head crabs 47. Primary colors of matter 49. Multiple other places 51. A bar for market checkout belts
Solutions to last week's puzzles in the back! 54. A blurb about someone 34. Mouth-shrinking Looney 55. Formerly Toon trope 56. Affiliates 36. Gritty, pulpy crime story 63. Just barely not on clocks 37. A singular happening 64. The TT in TTFN 38. Optic organs 65. Cave or ravine 40. Gateway drug to the Dark 66. Taro Side 67. French anarchists oppose 45. Relating to the ear this 48. Presented a formal 68. Divination cards argument 69. Was registered visually 50. Lifts up 70. Fox lairs 51. Inform traditional bathroom 71. Passes for distinctions up-downs 52. A feeling of self worth 1. Fancy reception room 53. Held apart from 2. Woe! 54. These use water to battle 3. Parcels of land gravity 4. Home to over 4 billion folks 57. Satisfy 5. River popularized in a waltz 58. Randy Marsh’s son 6. Bereft of content 59. Wings 7. 2 days and 5 hours 60. Zero out 8. Prayer punctuation 61. Ancient Biblical kingdom 9. A combining 62. Solidifies 10. Mutable 11. City in Viet Nam 12. An organic compound 13. A card game for 2 teams of 2 21. Grassy front space 25. Pleasant 26. Partner 27. Genus of holly 28. Let borrow 29. Small slight of character 30. Homogenizes 31. Ogled
I Don’t Respect the Social Contract
Allow us to introduce Cassiopeia. In Greek mythology, she was the Queen of ancient Aethiopia or modern day Ethiopia. She’s also a constellation of stars in the night sky. Bearings Coffee learned of Cassiopeia during a visit to a national park. In her honor, we created an Ethiopian coffee to bring her back to earth.
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THUR OCTOBER 17
COMEDY
Ali Wong
A stand-up tour where Wong (probably) won’t be pregnant. We love her because of all her wise cracks about being Asian, being a mother, being an Asian mother and more. No cell phones are allowed, so maybe she’ll be filming the show for her next Netflix special. | 7 pm. $69.50-$144. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St.
THE SCENE A WEEK'S WORTH OF ADVENTURES A C R O S S P H I L LY N E I G H B O R H O O D S
Glow in the Park
The preservation of parks is crucial to the bright future of our city. Light up the night and bring your kids out to show them just how awesome Philly green spaces are. | 6 pm. $75. Fairmount Park Horticultural Center, 100 N. Horticultural Dr. fairmountpark.ticketleap. com
Smile, you’re on candid camera! Every moment of this iconic dance party will be captured. Don’t be afraid to get a little ratchet everybody else will probably be doing it too. | 10 pm. $3. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave.
Issa Philly Vibe Catch a vibe at this solid hip-hop showcase. Some of Philly’s best hidden talented artists will take the stage to show off what they have. If you have some chops on you and want to be heard, this is the place. | 8 pm. $10. MilkBoy, 1100 Chestnut St.
Natasha Bedingfield
OUTDOORS
It’s a Movie
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utphilly.com
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themetphilly.com
If you ever watched The Hills - or merely existed in the early 2000s- you know who Bedingfield is. Her hit song “Unwritten” was the theme song of the MTV show, and she relentlessly topped the music charts throughout the decade. She’s still relevant and extremely talented today. | 8 pm. $35. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St.
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Harvest Festival at Reading Terminal Market For yet another year, the 1100 block of Filbert Street will be transformed into an urban farm featuring hayrides around the Reading Terminal Market and all the #FallThings one could shake a stick at. Now, we know this isn’t something we’d normally boast about at the Scene except if you’ve ever seen this same block of Filbert at any other time during the year then you’ll understand why this event is a refreshing feel to an otherwise drab section of Center City. That’s right, we said it. Drab. However each season, this is the perfect event to check out some arts and crafts from local vendors, try some really awesome food listen to live music and even bring the kiddos out if you have them to take a ride on a city fire engine and meet some interesting animals courtesy of our friends at the Philadelphia Zoo. And yes, parents just like the zoo there will be a beer garden at this jawn, just for you. WHAT: Reading Terminal Harvest Festival WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 19, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. COST: Free but pay as you go. WHERE: Reading Terminal Market, 1100 Filbert St. MORE: readingterminalmarket.org/events/
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
Spooky Mini Golf
Play a fun game of putt-putt all throughout the month of October. This is a perfectly non-scary Halloweenthemed event to bring your scaredy-cat kids to. | 6 pm. $10. Franklin Square, 200 N. 6th St.
PARTY
FESTIVA
Barcade 15th 23rd S Anniversary Armor This bar has become a Oktobe staple in its neighborhood since coming to Philly. They originally started as a neighborhood spot in Brooklyn back in 2004, but since then have expanded to eight locations. Let’s celebrate their success. | 12 pm. Free. Barcade, 1114 Frankford Ave. facebook.com
FRI
OCTOBER 18
MUSIC
So many Ok many decisi This 2-day fe everyone the to come che choosing wh could make for traditiona grub, excitin a vibe like yo Munich. | 7:3 Street Armo
upcominge
DISCUSS
Born o MOVE
Mike Africa J tell us movin life. He was b to parents w serving forty sharing ever Skeletor hosts this karaoke showdown where the MOVE o was the vict participants have to sing bombing by before the gong gets banged. Get your words out Police on Os before you’re faced with the pm. $25. Ma Bookstore, 2 inevitable bang. If you’re lucky, he’ll like you. | 9 pm. facebook.c Free. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.
Karaoke Gung Show: Halloween Spectacular
worldcafelive.com
facebook.com COMEDY MUSIC
Moonchild
Children of the moon rejoice under one roof. These three musicians each play a plethora of instruments. This lends itself to an alternative sound, full of influences from plenty of genres and styles. | 8 pm. $23.50. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. eventbrite.com
Philadelphia Brewing Comedy
This chameleon of a brewery is always hosting something different. Come this time for a comedy show by Dan Perlman of TruTV and MTV fame. He’s played in Philly quite a few times before, so we’re sure he’ll know how to warm us up. | 7:30 pm. $11.30. Philadelphia Brewing Co., 2440 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com
23rd Street A
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23rd Street Armory Oktoberfest
So many Oktoberfests, so many decisions to make… This 2-day festival gives everyone the chance to come check it out by choosing which session you could make it to. Get ready for traditional Oktoberfest grub, exciting live music and a vibe like you’re actually in Munich. | 7:30 pm. $25. 23rd Street Armory, 22 S. 23rd St.
MUSIC
Hope and Fury: Worldtown Soundsystem
This local concert series has a different message every time - this time around, it’s speaking up against gun violence. Join Worldtown Soundsystem - a highenergy house band - and city Councilmember Cherelle L. Parker in the fight. | 6:30 pm. Free. La Colombe, 1335 Frankford Ave. facebook.com
upcomingevents.com MUSIC DISCUSSION
Born on the MOVE
Mike Africa Jr. will be here to tell us moving stories of his life. He was born in prison to parents who had been serving forty years. He’ll be sharing everything to benefit the MOVE organization, who was the victim of the 1985 bombing by the Philadelphia Police on Osage Ave. | 8 pm. $25. Making Worlds Bookstore, 210 S. 45th St. facebook.com
Space Cowboy
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on. This is set to be a wild ride through some synth and cosmic music. Be a part of this maiden voyage through sight and sound. | 10 pm. Free. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. facebook.com
MUSIC
Street Metal Massacre 2: Pre-Fest
Get a little preview of a gruesome metal show that’s to come. Headbang to the audible hell sounds of several local metal bands that will come to pay tribute to the Halloween spirit. | 8 pm. $20. Foto Club, 3743 Frankford Ave. facebook.com
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SAT OCTOBER 19
FOOD & DRINK
Pour the Core
Try your tastebuds with over 75 different kinds of cider, as well as a doughnut eating contest and plenty of other mouth-watering food options. The perfect event to get you in the fall spirit with some delicious spirits. | 1:30 pm. $50. The Navy Yard, 4747 S. Broad St. pourthecore.com MUSIC
Legends of Hip-Hop Art Exhibit
Portraits of the trailblazers of hip-hop will be on display at this unique exhibit. Pay some respect to those who have paved the way for thousands of hip-hop artists today. Their efforts and memories will never go unnoticed. | 2 pm. $3$15. Philly Art Collective, 253 N. 3rd St. eventbrite.com
FUNDRAISER
Gravediggers’ Ball
Show your support for the Friends of Laurel Hill Cemetery, who help keep spooky traditions alive every single year. Show up to this fundraiser in stuffy black tie attire, or choose to go the costume route. Either way, your attendance has been highly requested. | Friday, 7pm. $250. Mutter Museum, 19 S. 22nd St. 23rd Street Armory Oktoberfest
gravediggersball.org PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019, 2019
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PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY MUSIC MUSIC
Toto
This classic rock band has been together for over 40 years now. That may make some of us feel really damn old, and some of us really proud. Their knack for writing hit songs never faded away throughout the decades. | Sunday, 8 pm. $39.50-$79.50. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St. themetphilly. com
LGBTQ
Wig in a Box
Get your paws on some one-of-a-kind clothes for a one-of-a-kind cause. Over twenty vendors will be selling vintage garments to support Cattown Animal Rescue. We have too many strays running around Philly that deserve to be taken care of and loved. | Monday, 11 am. $5. The Digs Sandbox, 1616 N. Beach St. eventbrite.com
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
utphilly.com MUSIC
World Singing Day
The entire world is going to be belting out their favorite songs on this day. Join the Sister Cities Girlchoir for a gathering all about finding positivity and community through music. Be an important part of this eighth annual global gathering. | 10:30 am. Free. Palmer Park, 1701 Frankford Ave. facebook.com
eventbrite.com
Small business owners seriously make the world go ‘round. The best way to get some tips on how to succeed in business is to listen to your peers. The speakers at this event only have the best in mind for you. | 9 am. $50. Old City Collective, 222 Race St.
Harvest Festival
Cat Town Vintage Market
This pop queen delivers anything but an ordinary performance. Her songs are all about partying, loving yourself and just being a fucking star. They’re all messages we could definitely get behind. | 8 pm. $35. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St.
This drag show will pay tribute to songs from some of the most exhilarating broadway shows. Expect queen Mimi Imfurst to sing selections from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Rent, Rocky Horror and more. | 7:30 pm. $20. Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St.
FESTIVAL
INTERESTS
Charli XCX
Fall in Philadelphia gives us so many reasons to celebrate. Appreciate all the autumn offerings from Philly area farms at this outdoor festival. Filbert Street will be shut down to make way for all the festivities in store. | 10 am. Free. Reading Terminal Market, 1200 Arch St. facebook.com
LEARN
PHL bloggers Small Business Summit
eventbrite.com
SUN OCTOBER 20
FOOD & DRINK
Sixth Annual Meatball Challenge
Think you can make the best meatball Philly has ever tasted? Try your luck at this annual cook-off, where everyone from professional chef to home cook are welcome. You don’t have to have culinary skills to attend - tasters are needed to judge the contest, of course. | 3 pm. Free. Tap Room on 19th, 2400 S. 19th St. facebook.com MUSIC
Cursive
We all learned how to write cursive in elementary school. We should’ve all learned who this band is at the same time, but we weren’t cool kids. They’ve been writing rock music since 2000 on serious topics like divorce, sex and the meaning of life. | 8 pm. $20. First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com PARTY
Ecstatic Dance
If you start dancing, you’re going to start smiling - no matter how shitty of a mood you’re in. That’s the goal at this community dance party, where everyone is welcome to show up and move in their own way. Enjoy dance beats from DJ Luminus and get healed with sound by Sean Youngmann. | 6 pm. $15. Philadelphia Ethical Society, 1906 Rittenhouse Sq. eventbrite.com
SPORTS
Eagles Tailgate This isn’t your usual tailgate. Eagles fans will have the chance of a lifetime to dunk a Cowboys fan in a tank of water. Why would you ever want to miss that? | 4 pm. $20. Morris Animal Refuge, 1242 Lombard St. eventbrite.com INTERESTS
The Witch Market
There’s something in the crisp air that’s just making us want to spend all our money. This is the perfect market to do so. Set in an intimate environment, it will feature a bunch of bewitching craft and food vendors. | 12 pm. Free. Pretzel Park, 4300 Silverwood St. facebook.com FUNDRAISER
AIDS Walk Philly
Give a donation, get outside and walk in support of those affected by this lifethreatening illness. | 7 am. Prices vary. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. aidswalkphilly.com FITNESS
The University City 5K This fundraising run was found in the honor of Nicholas Pipino, a Drexel student who was murdered outside of a bar he worked at in University City in 1992. Support his honor with a donation and with some athletic effort. | 8 am. $15. 33rd St. and Lancaster Ave. drexel.edu
CALENDAR
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MON OCTOBER 21
MUSIC
HomeGrown Open Mic Mondays
This open mic will give all musicians the chance to grow. Come out and share your talents, and you could win some studio time, promotion and radio exposure. | 7 pm. Free. MilkBoy, 401 South St. facebook.com DISCUSSION
Patti Smith
There are hardly any punk women that could write as many wise words as Smith does. She’s no stranger to writing books on her
interesting life, and that’s what she did with her newest release, “Year of the Monkey.” Sit in on a discussion with the author and get your copy. | 7:30 pm. $42-$44. Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts, 3680 Walnut St. freelibrary.org LGBTQ
LGBTQ Health Fair
Your health is your wealth, so all you LGBTQ folks out there should check out this event hosted by Independence Business Alliance. You’ll get to meet several health organizations that are working to provide services in the city. | 5 pm. Free. Independence LIVE, 1919 Market St. facebook.com
MUSIC
Swervedriver
These guys didn’t get all the credit they deserved when they first broke onto the scene in the 90s. However, after a 17-year-gap in albums, this rock-n-roll duo turned some heads with their 2015 release “I Wasn’t Born to Lose You.” | 8 pm. $25. MilkBoy, 1100 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com
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FOOD & DRINK
Ya Gotta Try This
If you tune into Fox 29, this name may sound familiar to you. This tasting party co-hosted by Good Day Philadelphia host Mike Jerrick will feature food from a ton of restaurants that have been featured on the show. | 6:30 pm. $50. Vie by Cescaphe, 600 N. Broad St. eventbrite.com
COMEDY
Nurse Blake
This YouTube star makes videos that get all nurses and nursing students laughing. He’s sold out pretty much every show on this comedy tour, but you should still take your chance at getting your spot in the crowd. | 8 pm. $35. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com
SHOW
Star-Love Freedom
The touring cast of Hamiton will be performing at this benefit concert for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS and the Wounded Warrior Project. Each cast member will share their talents in support of the causes being honored. | 8 pm. $40-$150. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.
KID FRIENDLY
Trunk or Treat
Have your kids stock up on sweets before the big day. Come out in costume to go from car to car in search of candy. This is an essential Halloween family-friendly event that even the most stubborn of kids would love going to. | Tuesday, 6 pm. Free. Whitman Square, 9711 Roosevelt Blvd. eventbrite.com
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LEARN
Sip & Seed
Learn all about the healing benefits of CBD at this instructional event. Try CBD infused food and cocktails made by professional local chefs, and find out how to grow your own healthy hemp plant at home. | Monday, 6 pm. $25. PHS Pop-Up Garden, 1438 South St. facebook.com
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019, 2019
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TUES OCTOBER 22
MUSIC
The Oh Sees
There’s so much to see in this world. This band is one of those that you definitely have to see perform with your own eyes before you die. That is, if you’re into their invigorating take on garage punk. | 8:30 pm. $22. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com INTERESTS
Market Olympics
It’s only natural to get a little bored on Tuesdays. Fight the feeling by coming out for a night full of board game adventures. Hop from vendor to vendor while playing different kinds of games. | 4 pm. Free. The Bourse, 111 S. Independence Mall E.
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY INTERESTS
Market at the Pop-Up
Local vendors will be selling fresh produce, baked goods, plants and lots more. It’s always smart to support local farmers and gardeners. | 5 pm. Free. PHS Pop-Up Garden, 1436 South St. facebook.com SHOW
Dance Nation
This show is probably something like Dance Moms, but better, of course. It’s about a team of pre-teen dancers who find themselves in search of a trophy. The best part may be that the pre-teens will be played by actresses of all ages. | 6:30 pm. $35. Wilma Theater, 265 S. Broad St. wilmatheater.org
facebook. com
Taco Showdown
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
INTERESTS
Drinks and Dragons
Hop into the RPG world at this open game night. Whether you’re a newbie or a total D&D nerd, you’re welcome to come join the party. Throw back some drinks and get into a Halloween-themed game. | 7 pm. Free. Queen & Rook Game Cafe, 607 S. 2nd St. facebook.com
FOOD & DRINK
Taco Showdown
Philly’s finest chefs will go head-to-head to see who can make the best taco. The best part? You get to be the judge. You are obligated to eat as many tacos as you want and provide your honest feedback. | 6:30 pm. $40. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. tacoshowdownphl. splashthat.com
COMEDY
Whiz City Open Mic Whether you’ve always known you had it in you or not, get up there and show us what you’re made of. Just try not to tell cheesy jokes. | 8 pm. Free. MilkBoy, 401 South St. facebook.com
WED OCTOBER 23
LEARN
Adulting 101
Being a grown-up responsible for yourself is hard. This event series is designated to give support to
those that could use a little help navigating this thing we called life. This month’s discussion is about how to eat healthy during the upcoming holiday season. | 6 pm. $25. Saxby’s, 2300 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com FOOD & DRINK
Brews and Views
Our opportunities to enjoy being outside are dwindling. As the weather gets crispier, this rooftop beer garden will be coming to a close. Come for one of the final days and enjoy a cold one outside before it gets too cold. | 5 pm. Free. Parkway Central Library, 1901 Vine St. eventbrite.com
INTERESTS
Murder & Mayhem in the City of Brotherly Love Join the HLN crime correspondent as she discusses all the darkest tales of murder and horror that have occured in Philly. | 7 pm. Free. Devil’s Den, 1148 S. 11th St. facebook.com MUSIC
Oliver Tree
Tree’s embarking on a farewell tour that none of us should dare to miss. He’s a true multi-hyphenate, and is a master in indie pop, sketch comedy and producing music. | 8 pm. $25. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com
MUSIC
The Body
These guys started out as a typical doom metal band, but have evolved their sound throughout the years. Lots has changed since 1999 - they now infuse hints of dance, hip-hop, blues and more in their unique sounds. | 8:30 pm. $12. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. eventbrite.com DISCUSSION
Andrew Rea
Binging with Babish is the YouTube series that has shown us how to recreate all the foods from movies and TV shows that we’ve always wanted to try. Rea is the man behind the magic, whose face is almost never on camera. | 8 pm. $45. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com
CALENDAR
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY MUSIC
Delicate Steve
Steve is here to lay it down real easy for you. He does whatever the fuck he wants with his music, and we’re going to like it. We’re lucky that he’s actually good at exploring and doing bizarre things with his sound. | 8 pm. $15. PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St. eventbrite.com
THUR OCTOBER 24
PARTY
Ellen Siberian Tiger’s Halloween Bash
This Halloween party has no bells and whistles about it. Just some killer live music from Soul Cannon and Cheeky, and a dance party that will be going on until everybody crawls home. | 9 pm. $12. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. undergroundarts.org MUSIC
Ghost Quartet PARTY
By the Times
The only scary thing is how old we’re getting. Go back to the time where you had less wrinkles at this dance party. Nostalgia-riddled songs from the 80s and 90s will be blasting all night. | 8 pm. $20. Yakitori Boy, 211 N. 11th St. eventbrite.com
Four singers will be doing some creepy shit in this show. It’s a performance which will make you wonder whether ghosts are actually real. | 8 pm. $25. The Headhouse, 122 Lombard St. goingdarktheatre. ticketleap.com INTERESTS
Stroll the Village
Get some drinks and small bites to benefit Philly PAWS. Bars and
29
restaurants in Queen Village will be donating portions of their earnings to the organization every Thursday. | 5 pm. Free. Locations vary. facebook.com PARTY
Welcome to the Freak Show This Halloween party will be anything but boring. Some spooky and sexy sideshows will be going on all night, along with dark wave music being played all night. | 8 pm. $10. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. wowphilly.com MUSIC
Iya Terra
Their fresh take on classic reggae beats has definitely elevated them as one of the current best in the genre. | 8:15 pm. $12. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive. com
FOOD & DRINK
East Passyunk Witch Craft Beer Crawl Try all the kinds of witches’ brew you could get your grimey little hands on. Fly up and down the avenue on your old broomstick to see what each bar on the list has to offer for the day. | Wednesday, 5:30 pm. Free. Locations vary along E. Passyunk Ave. facebook.com
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019, 2019
30
THE
BIG
PICTURE
Little drummer boy Philadelphia is awesome for all kinds of reasons, but it's especially awesome because of the people who inhabit it. This little guy wanted to bang the drum of this busker and by the end of it, the two became friends. Shoutout to Bridget Brown, who snapped this love fest on Instagram and tagged us using #PWBigPic.
SAVAGE LOVE
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY
Standards Q: I’m a Seattle local who basically grew up then, when all of our romantic partners fail to meet our impossible standards, we can tell reading your column. I think you’ve always given really sound advice, so I’m reaching out. ourselves we’re the only truly good person as My boyfriend and I have been together for two we move through life breaking the hearts of anyone foolish enough to fall in love with us. years. We started out poly, but I was clear from So while my hunch is that it’s not your the start that when I fall in love with someone, I lose all attraction to anyone other than that partner who is incapable of loving you, HON, but you who are incapable of loving him, one person. I fell in love with him, and we decided to be monogamous. But I know he’s you’re free to prove me wrong. One way we demonstrate our capacity to truly still attracted to other people, and love someone is by believing them it makes me feel like ending the rewhen they say they love us. That’s lationship. I love him like I’ve never step one. Step two is accepting that loved anyone else, but because he someone’s love for us is legitimate doesn’t feel the same way I do on even if they don’t experience or exthis subject, I don’t believe he loves press love in precisely the same way me at all. I don’t feel like I can bring we do. it up with him, because it will just Q: My father passed away recentmake him feel bad for something he ly. I received a contract to sell his probably can’t control, and I don’t house, and soon I’ll have to clean think I can make him love me. But the place out. My question is this: I also feel like I’m wasting my time What to do with a dead relative’s and living a lie. Help! porn? I don’t want to keep it, I don’t – Heartbroken Over Nothing want to waste it by just putting it This thing about you—how in the trash, I can’t donate it to the being in love with someone ren@FAKEDANSAVAGE library. There’s nothing especially ders you incapable of finding collectible in it, so eBay is out. Mayanyone else attractive—that’s be someone would buy the lot of it pretty much a unique-to-you trait. The overwhelming majority of even the bliss- on Craigslist, but I’m not entirely clear what fully-in-loves out there still find other peo- the legalities are for selling secondhand porn out of the back of a car, let alone what the pople attractive. And you should know that if you grew up reading my column. You should tential market might be. I mean, how many also know that a monogamous commitment folks are looking to buy a deceased elderly doesn’t mean you don’t want to fuck other man’s former wank bank? I’m certain I’m only people, HON, it means you’ve promised not to the most recent in a long line of folks to find themselves in this situation. Any advice for fuck other people. We wouldn’t have to make monogamous finding the porn a new home, or is it a bad idea commitments if sincere feelings of love ex- to even try? Added difficulties: smallish town, tinguished all desire for others. Since no one Midwestern state, and I’m his only living famis ever going to love you in precisely the same ily member. – Rehoming Inherited Pornography way you love them—since no one else is ever You would be in the same predicament going to meet the impossible standard you’ve if you had lots of living family members. set—every person you fall in love with will disappoint you. Every potential love arrives I have an enormous family—lots of aunts and pre-disqualified. You meet someone, you fall uncles, countless cousins—and “Who wants the porn?” isn’t a question I’ve ever heard in love with them, they fall in love with you, you are not attracted to others, they still are, asked at a senior relative’s wake. And that can’t be because none of my senior relatives you have no choice but to dump that person had porn stashes; the law of averages dictates and start all over again. Lover, rinse, repeat. Zooming out: People who create impossible that at least one and probably more dead Savages (RIP) had massive porn stashes, which standards for romantic partners—standards means whoever cleaned out the apartment or no one could ever hope to meet—usually don’t house quietly disposed of the porn. And that’s want to be in committed relationships but can’t admit that to themselves. We’re told good what you should do. If you’re concerned about people want to be in committed relationships, your dad’s porn “going to waste,” dispose of it and we all want to think of ourselves as good in a conspicuous manner, e.g., drop it off at a recycling center in open boxes or clear bags. people. So someone who doesn’t want a longterm commitment either has to think of them- Maybe a worker or someone else making a drop-off will spot the porn and decided to resselves as a bad person, which no one wants to do, or has to redefine for themselves what it cue it from the pile. And, hey, my condolences on the death of your father. means to be a good person, which can be hard work. But there’s a third option: set impossible THERE’S ALWAYS MORE SAVAGE TO LOVE! Read: PhillyWeekly.com standards for our romantic partners. And
DAN SAVAGE
SWEET BOX
REACH OUT TO US. Carry PW’s at your spot. drops@philadelphiaweekly.com.
Have a question?: mail@savagelove.net
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24 , 2019
32
MARKETPLACE
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY
EMPLOYMENT General Employment
General Employment
Apply Online Now 2020CENSUS.GOV/JOBS Thousands of jobs are available nationwide. Help support your community — be a census taker.
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For more information or help applying, please call 1-855-JOB-2020 Federal Relay Service: 1-800-877-8339 TTY/ASCII www.gsa.gov/fedrelay The U.S. Census Bureau is an Equal Opportunity Employer.
General Employment
Non-CDL Drivers
Wanted
$400
Sign-On Bonus
Paratransit Operations
Immediate Positons Available / Paid Training / Benefit package Match of salary with experience! Flexible Shifts Available • Safety Bonus Incentives • Great Company Culture Apply in Person Monday through Friday • 9:00am to 3:00pm 4201 Tacony Street, Philadelphia, PA 19124 | 215-992-8000 Apply online:www.philly.totalbusco.com General Employment
AB MALE BLOOD DONORS NEEDED Will be compensated up to $85.00 for a complete donation, starting on their 2nd visit!! In order to donate you need: Valid picture ID. SSI card Be between 18 & 70 yrs. old. Be in good health. Walk-ins are welcome. New donors will be paid $40.00 for a full donation. INTERSTATE BLOOD BANK 1250 N. BROAD STREET. PHILA PA. 19121 215-765-2554
BLOOD DONORS All donors paid $40.00 No appointment necessary. Walk-ins welcome. Must be healthy and have proper I.D. Must provide Social Security card.Interstate Blood Bank 1250-52 N Broad St. Phila PA 19121 215-765-2554 Hrs. 7:00 AM - 3:30 PM
DRIVERS/ LIMO - F/T Must be 27yrs. old & lic'd. Dave's Limousine, 5915 Harbison Ave.
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
GENERAL AND TREATMENT FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED Open your heart and home to children of all ages New Foundations, Inc. 215-203-8733 www.nfi4kids.org MACHINE CUTTER Person exp'd. with cutting machine operation. Knowledge of ruler a must. 50lbs. lifting req'd. F/T position w/benefits. jpaluba@mutualindustries. com PAID RESEARCH SUBJECT SPACE MISSION SIMULATION 8 day study of resilience at U. of PA. Must be healthy, about 27-55 yr. old with STEM educ. MS or BS+ equiv. exp or military exp. Compensated time & travel. Call 215-573-5855
Teaching Position - F/T Teacher Assistants PT/FT, experience prefered. Email resume: amanda@alphabetacademy .com FLAGGERS ($12.50/hr) Traffic Plan seeks Flaggers to set up and direct traffic around construction sites. A valid PA driver license and clean driving record a must, good pay and benefits. If interested please fill out an application at 510 Hertzog Blvd, King of Prussia, PA on Mondayʼs 9am - 12pm or online at trafficplan.com. Legal Notices
Notice of Public Sale: The following self-storage Cube contents containing household and other goods will be sold for cash by CubeSmart 501 Callowhill Street Philadelphia PA 19123 (215)627-3510 to satisfy a lien on November 5, 2019 at approx. 11 AM at www.storagetreasures.com: Cube 84 Jared W Lange Cube 92 Donna R Clark Cube 1124 Brittany Wallace
Broco Waste & Recycling Inc filed Articles of Incorporation under the PA Business Corp. Law of 1998, as amended, on October 8, 2019.
MERCHANDISE FOR SALE
REAL ESTATE
Flea Market
Real Estate Wanted
2 Vintage Flea Markets Side By Side “Come Spend The Day Shopping On The River With Us”
THIS SUN, OCTOBER 20TH • 8AM TIL 5PM Indoors On The Cherry Street Pier & Outdoors On The Race Street Pier 121 N. Columbus Blvd. (At Race Street) MORE THAN 75 VENDORS Free Admission!
215-625-FLEA (3532) | www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org
Sell with PW Classifieds classifieds@philadelphiaweekly.com WANTED Help Wanted
Guaranteed Money made from your home We rent or purchase part or all of your house! We can convert your home to apartments or individual rooms for rent. We do the work, get licences and permits, make it to code. We manage the process A-Z. You make the money! We guarantee you a monthly income. No need to move! Call Griffin Enterprizes 215-840-7135. Apartments for Rent
21ST & PINE AREA- Sm. 1 bdr., 1st fl. rear. sep. kit. wood floors, $900+cooking gas & elec., heat incl. avail 12/1. 215-384-4202 or 215-735-8414 8500 BUSTLETON AVE. Corner of Evart St. Fall Special 2BR, $1,100 water & gas incld. 215-742-2261 Apartments for Rent
Grant Garden Apartments Fall Special, upgraded 1 & 2 BR,1 BA. $750 - $980 includes water. Laundry room on site. Off of Blvd. 215-464-6411 HOME IMPROVEMENT Windows
SETVI, creator of the premier mobile sales enablement platform, seeks CTO for its Philly, PA headquarters. CTO will direct and oversee work on variety of software including mobile apps, scientific data manipulation, analytics, web apps and internal tools, all helping expand and develop the primary SETVI product. M-F 40 hours per week. Minimum requirements: MSc in computer science or computer engineering plus 3+ years of experience as software developer. Must have experience in developing mobile web apps, large scale enterprise systems & CRM apps. Send hardcopy of CV to: Josh David, SETVI 3401 Market St # 200 Phila PA 19104.
HAPPY WINDOWS
Shutters, 2-Inch Wood, Pleated Shades, Roman Shades, Drapes, Verticals, Mini-Blinds Discount Price With Installation
Call Eileen
215-465-7525 Legal Notices
Court of Common Pleas for the County of Philadelphia, ( August) Term, (2019) , No. ____. NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that on (29) , the petition of (Erika Lynne Laws )was filed, praying for a decree to change (his / her / their) name to Erika Lynne Van Croft (new name) . The Court has fixed (October 18, 2019 date) , at__ (10:00) _.m. in (602) , Philadelphia, Pa., for a hearing. All persons interested may appear and show cause, if any they have, why the prayer of the said petitioner should not be granted. Docket 004660 Filed August 2019
Recent
break up? PW Classifieds is a great place to sell your ex’s stuff. classifieds@philadelphiaweekly.com
at place to uff.
weekly.com
REAL ESTATE
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY
33
TERRIFIC NEW LISTINGS
137 Snyder Avenue • $315,000 Pennsport
A beautiful and tastefully rehabbed home with attention to details. Rehabbed by a master carpenter. It runs 71 ft deep and has a to die for backyard – your own private oasis. It features 3 bedrooms, one and a half baths, beautiful hardwood floors, gas heat, central air, terrific finished basement and a lovely new facade. Found in a great Pennsport neighborhood. Close and walkable to everything.
90% OF OUR BUSINESS COMES FROM FRIENDS TELLING FRIENDS.
Kathy, Patrick and the
Conway Team Patrick Conway 215-266-1537 Kathy Conway 215-850-3842
413 Dickinson Street • $549,000 Dickinson Narrows • OPEN HOUSE SATURDAY 10/19 FROM 12:00 TO 2:30 AND SUNDAY 10/20 FROM 1:30 TO 2:30 A lovely and thoughtfully totally rehabbed 3 story beautiful home in the hot Dickinson Narrows. Terrific light and space. Three huge bedrooms (2 with fireplaces) + 3 truly spa baths. A 25’ dream to die for kitchen. 5” Oak hardwood floors t/o + wonderful large outdoor space overlooking beautiful gardens (rear of Southwark Reed St Campus). This property also has roof deck potential.
717 S. Columbus Blvd., #Penthouse 11 Dockside • 425,000 4407 Pine Street • 759,000 University City OPEN HOUSE SATURDAY Historic victorian twin in premier location in University 10/19 FROM 1:30 TO 2:30 City. Property features 4 very spacious bi-level apart-
North facing penthouse - wow! Rarely available. Surely a trophy unit far out in the water. Incredible views, views, views. 1 Garage parking space included. A pristine bright & spacious one bedroom with a private terrace. Hardwood floors in the living area and lovely new sisal carpeting in the bedroom with good closet space and walk in closet. The building - 2nd to none. The best 24-hour concierge, a gym, olympic pool, club room and much much more.
ments. Open front porch to enjoy a coffee in the morning or friends in the evening. Entrance foyer leads to each apartment which have their own private entrances. Central air, gas hot air heaters separate for each apartment, gas hot water heaters in each apartment, separate electric meters for each apartment + each unit has their own washer & dryer. New fire system installed throughout the building in may 2018 and certified may 2019. New central air unit installed in unit 2 august 2017, roof coated november 2018. All are bi-level with three-2 bedrooms and one-1 bedroom. Gross yearly income $65,040. This is a super building in a super Penn neighborhood.
What they are saying:
Society Hill Office • 215.627.6005 Please visit us online at www.conwayteam.com
“After I reached the age of discretion and beyond, I decided to leave Philadelphia and relocate to the warm sunny skies of Florida. Kathy was recommended by friends, so I thought I’d give her a try. Well, if you are looking for someone who is kind, compassionate, honest, attentive to your needs, and will go way above and beyond what is required of her, then Kathy is your real estate agent. Kathy is an all-around special person who will make fulfilling your dreams possible. The Conway team takes the pain and agony out of selling and purchasing. ~ Judith McNamara Anne E. Koons The #1 Agent of the Cherry Hill Home Marketing Center 2018, 2017, 2016, 2014, 2013 & 2012 NJAR Circle of Excellence PLATINUM Award 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2012,GOLD 2014, 2013 Direct 856-795-4709 office 856-428-8000 ext. 142 Website: www.annekoonsrealestate.com Akoonsbhhs@gmail.com
MAIN LINE SUBURBS
CENTER CITY PHILA.
ACCREDITED LUXURY HOME SPECIALIST Licensed in NJ & PA
WILLIAM PENN HOUSE 1919 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia Rittenhouse sq • Rooftop Pool Fitness Center • Valet parking • 24 hr security • 24 hr Maintenance • All utilities included • Includes real estate tax no transfer tax
1124 YOUNGSFORD RD, GLADWYNE
229 S 58TH ST, PHILADELPHIA
5 BED | 4.3 BATH | 6,144 SQ FT | $1,325,000
3 BED | 2.1 BATH | 990 SQ FT | $219,000
MAIN LINE SUBURBS NEW LISTINGS 1201 Andover Road, Wynnewood
4 BED | 3.1 BATH | 3,168 SQ FT | $619,000
118 Harvest Cir, Bala Cynwyd 4 BED, 2.1 BATH, 1,933 SQ FT, $550,00
9 Rose Valley Road, Media
5 BED | 2.1 BATH | 3,004 SQ FT | $425,000
JUST REDUCED 421 Old Gulph Road, Penn Valley 4 BED | 2.2 BATH | 3,197 SQ FT | $849,000
106 Airdale Road, Bryn Mawr
8 BED | 4.1 BATH | 6,200 SQ FT | $899,000
1417 Centennial Rd, Penn Valley
5 BED | 3.1 BATH | 4,371 SQ FT | $839,900
200 S Narberth Ave, Narberth MULTI-FAMILY | $735,000
1205 Chermar Ln, Penn Valley
5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 3,356 SQ FT | $725,000
646 Robinson Ln, Haverford
4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,494 SQ FT | $649,000
19 Rock Hill Rd, #2E, Bala Cynwyd 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,216 SQ FT | $170,000
LISTINGS
533 N. Spring Mill Road, Villanova 5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 4,716 SQ FT | $1,325,000
1310 Huntsman Ln, Gladwyne
4 BED | 3.1 BATH | 3,526 SQ FT | $1,150,000
1351 Bobarn Drive, Penn Valley
5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 6,647 SQ FT | $1,099,000
730 Canterbury Lane, Villanova
5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 5,358 SQ FT | $995,000
2369 Pineview Drive, Malvern
5 BED | 3 BATH | 2,666 SQ FT | $799,000
200 Price Ave, Unit#4, Narbeth 3 BED | 3.1 BATH | 3,038 SQ FT | $799,000
239 Trianon Ln, Villanova
4 BED | 3.1 BATH | 3,443 SQ FT | $798,000
39 Aberdale Road, Bala Cynwyd
7 BED | 3.2 BATH | 2,818 SQ FT | $795,000
2501 Pond View Drive, Lansdale
5 BED | 3.2 BATH | 5,749 SQ FT | $749,000
1607 Winston Road, Gladwyne
4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,320 SQ FT | $575,000
207 Lindy Ln, Bala Cynwyd
4 BED | 4.1 BATH | 4,217 SQ FT | $569,000
625 Fordham Rd, Bala Cynwyd
3 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,495 SQ FT | $499,000
9 Heckamore Rd, Bala Cynwyd
CONDO LIVING 190 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, #415, BALA CYNWYD 2 BED | 2.1 BATH | 1,970 SQ FT | $625,000
191 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, #824-25, BALA CYNWYD 2 BED | 2 BATH | 2,100 SQ FT | $325,000
1750 OAKWOOD TER, UNIT#1A, PENN VALLEY
THE KENNEDY HOUSE
2000 VALLEY FORGE CIR, UNIT#36, KING OF PRUSSIA
1901 JFK Blvd, Philadelphia
2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,299 SQ FT | $227,000 STORAGE UNIT | $9,500
CENTER CITY NEW LISTING 3900 Ford Road, #23B, Philadelphia 2 BED | 3 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $219,000
1615 Green St #1, Philadelphia
2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,125 SQ FT | $499,000
207 Wyndham Ln, Conshohocken
809 Latona Street, Philadelphia 3 BED | 1 BATH | 1,288 SQ FT | $299,000
4472 Almond St, Philadelphia
1309 Summer Hill Lane, Gladwyne
1305 Summer Hill Lane, Gladwyne
4 BED | 4.3 BATH | 6,465 SQ FT | $2,795,000
LOT | 0.5 ACRES | $150,000
3 BED | 1.1 BATH | 1,280 SQ FT | $280,000
817 Muirfield Road, Bryn Mawr
430 Hampden Rd, Upper Darby
224-30 W Rittenhouse Sq, #1017, Philadelphia
6 BED | 6.2 BATH | 8,944 SQ FT | $2,590,000
3 BED | 1 BATH | 1,248 SQ FT | $112,500
1 BED | 1 BATH | 570 SQ FT | $275,000
Marlton/ Preserve at Little Mill Gorgeous custom 3-bedroom, 2.5 bath home backing to Preserve at Little Mill golf course with a 1st floor master suite, 1st floor study, 2 car garage & full unfinished basement. The large foyer has cathedral ceilings & ceramic floors. Living room has 12-foot ceilings, custom built entertainment center & gas fireplace. Large eat-in kitchen with French sliding patio doors to back deck & views of the golf course. $495,900.
Cherry Hill/Wilderness Acres 3 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, 2 car garage, in ground pool, walkout basement, an open floor plan with cathedral ceilings, 2 story windows, skylights, newly refinished hardwood floors, freshly painted throughout the interior and exterior, new roof along with HVAC that is situated on almost an acre of property. $735,000
Rittenhouse Sq • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center • Parking • 24 HR Security • 24 HR Maintenance • All Utilities Included • Includes Real Estate Tax
Unit #904 Unit #726 2224 Carpenter St, Philadelphia Unit #1213 3 BED | 2.1 BATH | 1,455 SQ FT | $509,000 Unit #1515 Unit#1819 LISTINGS 1814 Ludlow Street, Philadelphia Unit#1919 INVESTMENT | 1,650 SQ FT | $1,395,000 Unit#2911 5860 Woodbine Ave, Philadelphia Unit #1512 6 BED | 4.1 BATH | 3,725 SQ FT | $679,000 Unit#2816 JUST REDUCED
5 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,272 SQ FT | $465,000 3 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,604 SQ FT | $429,900
Unit #2904 3 BED | 2 BATH | 1,404 | $750,000 Unit #923/924 3 BED | 2 BATH | 1,581 SQ FT | $499,000 Unit #2720 2 BED | 1 BATH | 1,134 SQ FT | $499,000 Unit #705 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,176 SQ FT | $475,000 Unit #903 2 BED | 1 BATH | 1,134 SQ FT | $345,000 Unit #1914 1 BED | 1 BATH | 495 SQ FT | $320,000 Unit #2621 1 BED | 1 BATH | 837 SQ FT | $310,000 Unit #510 1 BED | 1 BATH | 825 SQ FT | $310,000
2 BED | 1 BATH | 1,145 SQ FT | $375,000 2 BED | 1 BATH | 1,147 SQ FT | $365,000 1 BED | 1 BATH | 872 SQ FT | $269,000 1 BED | 1 BATH | 871 SQ FT | $265,000 1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $219,000 1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $219,000 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 522 SQ FT | $184,900 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 475 SQ FT | $175,000 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 517 SQ FT | $169,000
KINGSLEY COURT ROXBOROUGH NEW CONSTRUCTION
PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Sales
215-543-3743 ext. 104 or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com
TWIN HOMES 500 Kingsley Court 3 BED | 2 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $487,000
PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019
34
REAL ESTATE
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY Bella Vista
New Listing | Northern Liberties
Stunning condominium in The Hawthorne Lofts building. This 2 BR unit retains many of the original school features, incl. 15+ ft cathedral style ceiling heights, large scale windows, original moldings and classroom blackboards. The building offers lots of amenities incl. a large community room with a pool table & big screen television, a full gym with separate shower rooms, a yoga room, a sauna, and a roof deck. This unit comes with parking!
Welcome home to this beautiful new construction in Northern Liberties. Walk into your large living room as you’re welcomed by huge windows in the front and back of the home. The open concept flows right into your dining room and stunning eat-in kitchen, which includes a large island with waterfall quartz countertops. Off the kitchen is the entrance to the large backyard. Enjoy the stunning roof deck. 10 year tax abatement pending.
$739,000
$325,000
New Price | Rittenhouse Square
New Listing | Graduate Hospital
Welcome home to this beautifully designed, 5 bedroom, 5.2 bathroom estate. From the impressive exterior to the well thought-out interior, this stunner features elevator access on each floor, a 2-car garage, an outdoor roof deck, and 6.5 years remaining on the tax abatement! The chef’s kitchen is a dream with it’s sleek design and high-end Thermador stainless steel appliances, and a huge quartz waterfall island.
This pristine, beautifully renovated home on a charming block features bamboo floors throughout, beautiful exposed brick walls, and a modern kitchen. This bright and open home features 3 outdoor spaces: a nice rear patio, a private balcony, and a roof deck with stunning city views! 5 years left on the tax abatement!
$650,000
$2,800,000
New Price | 426 Lombard Street Open Saturday 1 - 3
New Price | Fishtown Stunning loft in a former industrial building emphasizes a contemporary design, while preserving and highlighting the unique historical features of the original structures. Complemented by exposed brick and a corner location, this loft is illuminated by natural light streaming through oversized factory windows. The amenities include a resident lounge, a fitness center, extra storage, and low condo fees. A deeded parking space is an added bonus.
This historically certified home, a classic beauty from the late Federal style circa 1830, has been lovingly restored and thoroughly maintained. You’ll be welcomed by a strong, handsome brick facade with historic details including a fire insurance plaque, shutters, and brass details. This home features vaulted ceilings, exposed beams, and remotecontrol skylights that close automatically when it rains. Enjoy the incredibly deep brick patio with custom landscaping.
$425,000
$1,200,000
Anne E. Koons
ACCREDITED LUXURY HOME SPECIALIST Licensed in NJ & PA
The #1 Agent of the Cherry Hill Home Marketing Center 2018, 2017, 2016, 2014, 2013 & 2012 NJAR Circle of Excellence PLATINUM Award 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2012,GOLD 2014, 2013
Direct 856-795-4709 office 856-428-8000 ext. 142
New Price Cherry Hill/ Woodcrest This amazing architecturally designed home has 6 Bedrooms, 4 full baths, 2 half baths, walk-out finished basement & a 3-car garage that is nestled on an acre of property that backs to Woodcrest Golf course. Over 5,700sq ft w/an open spacious floor plan that is on secluded lot located in a great neighborhood with top rated schools and conveniently located near all major highways. $645,000
Merchantville Beautiful 3 Story Grand Victorian has 8 Bedrooms, 3.5 f baths located in the heart of town. The first floor has 12 ft ceilings, formal living room w/fireplace, parlor, dining rm, family rm & kitchen, crown molding, hardwood floors, gorgeous wood staircase and banisters with a cover front porch .This home has an updated heating system, full unfinished basement, a 2 car detached garage on almost an acre of property. Property is being sold in as is condition. $299,900.
Moorestown An amazing, truly unique 4 bedroom, 5 ½ bath home with gourmet kitchen, full finished walk out basement, 2 car garage w/home theater on 2nd level, a tennis-basketball court, built-in pool w/slide, hot-tub & waterfalls and a covered outdoor kitchen & bar which is nestled on a resort like professionally landscaped 2 acre property. $1,359,900
Cherry Hill/ Wilderness Run Beautifully updated 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 3 car garage home that flows seamlessly from one room to the next, it's elegant, bright and spacious. Designer kitchen, with professional appliances. The master bedroom suite has a wonder-fully updated bath w/a free standing tub, glass enclosed shower w/decorative tiles, floating double vanities with marble tops and make up area, there are 3 walk in closets and patio doors to a private balcony. $635,000.
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Cherry Hill Contemporary 4 bedroom, 2.2 bath home with 2 car garage and in-ground pool. 2 story foyer w/ rounded staircase, living room with fireplace, full bar, large eat in Kitchen. Master bedroom suite has a luxurious bath and plenty of closet space. Full finished basement. Great outside for entertaining. Freshly painted throughout $540,000
Voorhees/Sturbridge Woods Updated 4-bedroom, 3.5 bath, 2 car garages, finished basement, located on a private cult-de-sac in a desirable neighborhood.. The updated kitchen has center island breakfast bar w/5 burner stove & granite tops. There is a 1st fl office, Dining rm w/ butler’s pantry, Living rm, & cozy family rm w/gas FP. large master BR has a huge WIC, office, 2-sided FP & updated master bath. 3 add’l BR’s & Hall bath on 2nd fl. The BM has a media room, full bath, bonus rm & exercise rm. $599,900.
New Price Cherry Hill/ Short Hills This magnificent Coventry Model has an open floor plan, 4 bedrooms, 4.5 Baths, 3 car garage, 1st floor office, double staircases, full finished basement. The custom eat in kitchen has center island with breakfast bar, and extra windows allowing plenty of light. Large custom backyard with paver patio & fire pit. $699,900.
Clarksboro/Village At Whiskey Mill A 3 Bedroom 2.5 Bath, 1 car garage, w/3 levels of living space located in a quiet development. The first floor has a garage, family Rm and access to back yard. The main level you will find a large kitchen and dining area with sliding glass doors to deck. The 3 level has a master BR with private bath, large WIC and 2 additional bedrooms with hall bath and Laundry. $259,900
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO STEVEN, NICOLE & JOSH………...
Now more than ever, EXPERIENCE counts, that is why you need to call our AUNT ANNE, because she has the
EXPERIENCE, COMMITMENT, PASSION & KNOWLEDGE to help you in selling or buying a home.
CALL OUR AUNT ANNE TODAY FOR ALL OF YOUR REAL ESTATE NEEDS 856 -795-4709
OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY
REAL ESTATE
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GET MORE at Siena Place
HUGE NEW 3-4 bedroom townhomes starting at $475,900
Largest townhomes in Packer Park Abundant green space • Easily accessible Private garage & ample street parking Convenient to FDR Park, airport, Walt Whitman Bridge & more!
Go Solo. If those bigtime real estate agents are treating you like a child, just run away. Solo Real Estate helps empty nesters find new homes every day. So, during your next time out, give us grown ups a call.
Call us at 215-564-7656 or visit solorealty.com. 2017 Chancellor Street Philadelphia, PA 19103
215.339.5390 SIENAPLACE.COM MODEL HOMES OPEN Mon, Thurs thru Sat 11-5 | Sun 12-5 2300 Hartranft Street, Philadelphia, PA 19145 Between Penrose Ave. and 26th St. BROKER COOPERATION IS WARMLY INVITED & APPRECIATED. EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY
All prices and features subject to change without notice. Please see sales consultant for details.
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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | OCTOBER 17 - 24, 2019
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