Philly Weekly 8-24-2016 by Philadelphia Weekly

8.25.16 - 8.31.16

ROLLIN' IN THE CREAM THE THAI ICE CREAM RACE HEATS UP

Elevating Edibles Defending DEB The Worst Pop-ups for Philly

phillyweekly.com | August 25 -31, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 3

WEDNESDAy, AuguST 24

IN THIS ISSUE:

4 PHILLy NOW

COMEDy

What to do this week

The Newly Dead game

A hilarious whodunnit will make your Wednesday night so much better. This murder mystery takes place during the taping of the popular (fictional) game show “Clash of the Couples,” a show where couples compete for money and prizes. Some guests will get to play parts in the show and all guests will be able to guess who the murderer could be. The show is written and performed by professional stand up comedians Rob Maher and Tommy Sinbazo from Die Laughing Productions. 8pm.

8 FEATuRE Teassert treats

12FOOD Elevating Edibles

16 RECAP Dîner en Blanc

18 NEWS Bad Pop Up

19 SAVAgE LOVE Had to get away 20 REAL ESTATE 22 CLASSIFIED

CONNECT WITH US! Facebook: Philly Weekly Twitter: @phillyweekly Instagram: @phillyweekly

Deidre Simms Director of Major Accounts Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 111 deidre@phillyweekly.com

Jacqueline Rupp Editor-in-Chief jacqueline@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyjackie

Anastasia Barbalios Managing Editor anastasia@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyweekly

PHILLY WEEKLY 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Classified: 215.354.3054

RPM PHILLY, LLC Philly Weekly is published Wednesday by RPM Philly, LLC, 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery & Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philly Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright © 2016 by Philly Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

Courtesy Brooklyn Brewery

Philly Now

WHAT TO DO IN & AROuND THE CITy • MORE AT PHILLYWEEKLY.COM Tell us about your upcoming events! Email info to managing editor Anastasia Barbalios at: events@phillyweekly.com

DRINK

Brooklyn Brewery Mash

he Brooklyn Brewery Mash Tour kicks off in Philly this week with four days of food, beer, shopping and music. As the cultural experience makes various stops in both the United States and Europe, it challenges partygoers to reimagine what makes a good celebration. Mash focuses on four cultural “traditions:” the meal, the beer, the bar crawl, and the concert. Night one will focus on food, and brings Brooklyn Brewery chef Andrew Gerson to Bing Bing Dim Sum to create a three-course meal along with Chef Ben Puchowitz. The one-nightonly menu will be paired with a variety of rare Brooklyn Brewery beers including Bel Air Sour, Defender IPA, The Discreet Charm of the Framboisie, and the Black Chocolate Stout. In collaboration with Timberland, night two brings the party to Union Transfer for a free concert headlined by Chicago garage rockers Twin Peaks. It all kicks off with with opening sets from Philly bands TJ Kong and the Atomic Bomb and Palmas. The Brewery will again be rolling out some of their harder-to-find beers to taste during breaks from the revelry. On Saturday night, Brooklyn Brewery takes over the Mount Pleasant Mansion in Fairmount

4 | Philly Weekly | August 25 -31, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Park for the night. “Beer Mansion” takes visitors on a journey through the world of beer, with themed rooms dedicated to different kinds of beer, including IPAs, ales, and more. There will be food from the Philly Mobile Food Association and Cholula Hot Sauce, live music, and games, but most importantly, lots of beer. BB will be pouring several of their most popular and rarest beers, including the Intensified Coffee Porter and Sorachi Ace, along with beers from local brewers like Yards, Sly Fox and St. Benjamin. The end of Saturday night doesn’t mean the end of the party. Over the last five years, Brooklyn Brewery has curated a number of immersion events at neighborhoods in Brooklyn; for the first time, they are hosting one of these events in Fishtown and Northern Liberties. The Timberland Trailhead will serve as a pop-up bar and shop where visitors can check in to receive coupons for food and drinks at neighborhood bars and deals for shopping at locations including Creep Records and Keystone Mini Golf. —VINCE BELLINO

August 25-28. Various times, locations and prices. brooklynbrewerymash.com/philadelphia

$20. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. heliumcomedy.com

THuRSDAy, AuguST 25 EVENT

Spotluck Presents: Philadelphia Launch Party

Get out and celebrate Philly’s newest way to save at the Spotluck launch party. The new app, which allows users to save with great deals on meals all over the city, launched in Philadelphia in June. Celebrate the app’s success—and a new way of saving—with free Neshaminy Creek beer, music, games, and prizes. 5pm-10pm. Free entry with

app. Uptown Beer Garden, 1735 Market St. spotluck.com COMEDy

ultimate Storytime with Thomas Sanders Join social media star Thomas Sanders for a live version of his popular Vine series “Ultimate Storytime,” in which he narrates the lives of strangers. Sanders will be joined by his friends Michael and Marissa for tonight’s performance. 7:30pm. $30-$35.

Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. voltagelounge.com COMEDy

Christopher Titus

Known for his no-holds-barred approach to comedy, Titus regularly jokes about his dysfunctional family and the bizarre events of his life. 8pm. $25. Helium, 2031

Sansom St. heliumcomedy.com

Friday, august 26 COMEdy

the yannis Pappas show

New York native Yannis Pappas brings his unique blend of stand-up comedy and variety show to Philly. With hilarious characters like Maurica and Mr. Panos, Pappas makes light of and introduces audiences to his Greek heritage while also making them seem relatable.

8pm. $20. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com daNCE

salsa Night in the Piazza

Whether it’s your first time or you’re a pro, dance under the stars at this event sponsored by Siempre Salsa Philly and the Philadelphia Dance Foundation. Join in on lessons by Philly Dance Foundation’s Executive Director Jackie Fisher and enjoy live music by Elvis Bonilla Y Su Orquesta. 7pm. Free. The Piazza at Schmidt’s Commons, 1001 N. Second St.

theschmidtscommons.com sCrEEN

Movies in Clark Park: “Finding Nemo”

Grab your friends and family and catch this Disney/Pixar family favorite. Bring a blanket or some chairs and buy snacks from one of the various vendors available, and watch as Nemo, Marlin and Dory go on the adventure of their lives. Dusk. Free. Clark Park, 43rd St.

and Chester Ave. universitycity.org stagE

shakesBEEr: a Comedy of Errors

What do you get when you cross Shakespeare with locally-brewed beer? Find out at this hilarious take on the Bard’s classic play, A Comedy of Errors. Prepare for a night of genderbent roles, themed drinks, and the story of identical twins separated at birth. 8pm. $10.

Manayunk Brewing Company, 4120 Main St., Manayunk. manayunkbrewery.com PErFOrMaNCE

Olde City Cabaret

Have a mysterious, glamorous night with Envoûté: Magic Burlesque. The event is hosted by Velvetina Taylor and will feature performances by Tootsie von Cuspid, lady lazarus and more. 9:30pm. $15. Front Street Dive, 10 S. Front St. victoriaphilly.com

stagE

gayFest! MMF

The Philadelphia premiere of David L. Kimple’s latest play, this production focuses on the intricacies of polyamory, while also showcasing the ins and outs of relationships that everyone faces. 7pm. $25. Through Aug. 27. Louis Bluver Theatre at The Drake, 1512 Spruce St.

quinceproductions.com EX HiB it

Juveniles in Justice

An exhibit highlighting the harmful efects of solitary confinement on juvenile ofenders. The exhibit features a series of Richard Ross’ haunting photographs of confined juvenile prisoners paired with real audio recordings of youth ofenders and life-size simulations of solitary confinement cells. Through Sept. 4. Eastern State, 2027 Fairmount Ave. easternstate.org phillyweekly.com | August 25 -31, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 5

SATURDAY, AUGUST 27 DRINK

Parks on Tap

The traveling beer garden makes a trip to Paine’s Park, bringing its local craft beers and summer snacks along with it. Grab a beer from Yards, Yuengling, Slyfox, or one of the several other breweries on draft. On the menu are several diferent kinds of sliders (including pulled pork, meatball, and more), grab-and-go snacks and soba noodles. Stop by for yoga, live music, or a Major League Bocce tournament. 1-11pm. Free.

EVENT

DRINK

The Philadelphia Podcast Festival celebrates its fourth year, and will be hosting more than 30 podcasts over the course of the nine-day festival. Recording live at Tattooed Mom, Amalgam Comics & Cofeehouse, Moonshine Philly, and Art Church, the podcasts focus on everything from sports to veganism and everything in between. Through August 28. Various locations and

Hunt Pokemon and take advantage of drink specials in one of Philly’s most famous neighborhoods. You don’t have to play PokemonGO to take advantage of the drink specials, but if you come dressed as a Poke Trainer, you’ll be entered to win a cash prize. All proceeds from the event will benefit the Irish Pub Children’s Foundation. After Party at Coda from 7-11pm.

Philadelphia Podcast Festival

times. phillypodfest.com

Aug. 25-28. Paine’s Park, N. 24th St. parksontap.com

Rittenhouse PokeCrawl

2pm. $10-$25. 1706 Rittenhouse Square. pokecrawlrittenhouse.upcomingevents.com

COMEDY STAGE

GayFest! Wolves

Part of GayFest!, Wolves follows a timid young man named Ben, who loses it when his roommate, Jack, brings home a big bad wolf for a one-night stand. Ben attempts to rescue his roommate, but sets of a dangerous chain of events that will alter their world completely. 6:30pm. $25. Louis Bluver Theatre at The Drake,

Aries Spears

New York native and MadTV alum Aries Spears heads to Philadelphia for two performances. Spears is known for his hilarious impersonations and recurring characters, including Belma Buttons, Walter (Crackheads), Reggie (Erascist), Dollar Bill Montgomery, The Klumps, El Diablo Negro and more. 7:30pm, 10:30pm. $22.50. The

Trocadero, 1003 Arch St. thetroc.com

1512 Spruce St. quinceproductions.com OUT DOORS

MUSIC

Ms. Lauryn Hill

Singer/songwriter/producer Lauryn Hill, who gained acclaim for her work as a member of The Fugees and for her solo album The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill kicks of her latest tour in Philadelphia. Hill will be performing hits like “Killing Me Softly With His Song” and “Doo Wop,” as well as other hits from her extensive discography. 6:30pm. $39.50-$129.50. Mann Center, 5201

Parkside Ave. manncenter.org 6 | Philly Weekly | August 25 -31, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Weckerly’s Pop Up

Everyone’s favorite quirky West Philly ice cream purveyor will be hosting an ice cream pop-up on the grounds of the Barnes Museum from August 24 through September 5. Here you can indulge in the “Barnes Ensemble.” These ice cream sandwiches ($5), which of course have French roots, feature granola shortbread surrounding a pair of lemon verbena geranium ice cream. Noon-6pm. The Barnes Foundation, 2025 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.

MUSIC

En Vivo Latino Music Festival

Head to South Philly for an afternoon and night filled with great music, good food, and more. Headlined by Elvis Crespo, the En Vivo Latino Music Festival is the perfect way to celebrate the end of summer. The event will feature a classic car festival, music by Bachata Heightz, Edgar Joel, and Jose Alberto (aka “El Canario”). Co-hosted by El Zol 97.1 FM, Coors Lite, and Metro PCS. 3pm. $15-$45. XFINITY! Live, 1100 Pattison Ave.

xfinitylive.com DRINK

Queen Village Block Party

Looking for a fun way to celebrate the end of summer? Head to the Queen Village Block Party for cold beer, good food, great company, and live music by local DJs Elissa Janelle Velveteen, Ben Arsenal, and more. 12pm.

Free. Bainbridge Street Barrel House, 625 S. 6th St. bainbridgestreetbarrelhouse.com

SUNdAy, AUgUSt 28 EVENt

your Wedding Experience

Looking for some wedding inspiration, vendors, or just a place to get started? Look no further as wedding professionals approved by celebrity wedding planner David Tutera help you plan your special day. The event will include over 100 David Tutera approved vendors, show specials and discounts, a stunning wedding catwalk, reception table designs and much more. “Your Wedding Experience is a one-of-akind wedding event tailored to engaged couples, wedding planners and designers, offering endless wedding inspiration, reputable vendors and the best possible resources all under one roof,” says Tutera. “Expect to see inspiring and over-the-top designs, the hottest wedding fashions for the bride, groom and bridal party and learn how to stay on budget while incorporating your own personal style.”

ROMAN CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL est. 1890 • Located in the center of Philadelphia accessible by public transportation • 96% matriculation rate to college

10am. $15. Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch Street. yourweddingexperience.com

MONdAy, AUgUSt 29 StAgE

August Scratch Night

Get a sneak peek of upcoming Fringe performances at August’s edition of Scratch Night. Performers share pieces of shows they are currently working on, including theater, dance and performance art. This month features REV Theatre Company, Gunnar Montana’s twisted fairy tales, Ethos Physical Theatre Company, Tangle Movement Arts and the Soundproof Room. Where else can you see a “queer sci-fi odyssey,” acrobatics, creepy fairy tales and cabaret in the same room on a Monday night? 7pm. FringeArts, 140 N. Columbus Blvd.

fringearts.com

tUESdAy, AUgUSt 30 PERFORMANCE

6Sex6

If a night called 6Sex6, hosted by Honeytree Evil Eye and DJ Corporate Jesus, seems like your thing, then head on down to the Raven Lounge’s monthly party. Rock and metal meet gogo and burlesque for this dance party featuring burlesque by Arwen Evelyn and hoolesque with Kitana. 9pm. The Raven Lounge, 1718 Samson St. burlesqueadelphia.com

• Partnerships with Hahnemann Hospital and Academy of Fine Arts • 27 Perfect Scores on the National Latin Exam • 17 Varsity Sports • Over 160 elementary schools represented • Distinguished Art, Music, and Choral programs • Nationally Ranked Mock Trial Team

MUSIC

Beta hi fi Emerging Music Festival 2016

Beta hi-fi presents an industry showcase for Philadelphia’s up-and-comers who are ready to face the music. Fifteen artists will perform over three days, with a winner being selected by a judging panel each night. 6pm. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com

WEdNESdAy, AUgUSt 31 PERFORMANCE

Culture in the Courtyard: Brian Sanders’ JUNK

Brian Sanders’ JUNK has made a name for themselves using found objects and “junk” to create mesmerizing live performances. The performances are meant to inspire and cause us to view the world in a new light. Catch the group when they perform this week at Culture in the Courtyard, a new outdoor performance series that brings the arts to City Hall. Produced by the Office of Arts, Culture and the Creative Economy. 12pm. City Hall Court-

yard, 1401 John F. Kennedy Blvd. briansandersjunk.com EVENt

drinks & demos: Edtech Edition

It’s no secret that technology is changing the world around us, from faster computers to smartphones and beyond, it affects home, higher learning and the workforce. Drinks & Demos is an evening that takes a look at the thriving industry and gives technology demos with education in mind. 6-8pm. WeWork, 1010 N. Hancock St. techinmotionevents.com

S C H E D U L E A V I S I T T O D AY OR ATTEND OUR

OPEN HOUSE OCT 30TH, 2016 11am-2pm 301 N. BROAD STREET | 215.627.1270 R O M A N C AT H O L I C H S . C O M

phillyweekly.com | August 25 -31, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 7

FOOD & DRINK | by JacquelINe Rupp @PhillyJackie

The Great Rolled Ice Cream Race

Teassert Dessert Bar hopes endurance (if not speed) is on its side.

he food industry is a fickle business. One minute cauliflower is unexpected and trendy, the next thing you know, it’s disappeared from menus around town, to be found only on the buffet at your local supermarket. Just ask Chipotle how short the public’s culinary attention span can be. So, here we are on the cusp of the latest trend: rolled ice cream. Originally a Thai street food tradition, the new interpretation on a dessert classic first appeared on the West Coast last year, before hitting New York and now Philly this summer. Just take a look at the lines around the block at Market East’s Sweet Charlie’s. Which brings us to Stephen Ngo. Owner of Royal Tea Truck, Ngo claims he was the first in the city to apply for licenses to open up a rolled ice cream spot, a Chinatown dessert bar called Teassert. Unfortunately, slow construction on the former consignment shop on 10th Street left Ngo without bragging rights. Teassert didn’t open until early August, well after several other spots, including Ice Land, which faces Teassert directly across 10th Street, had been rolling out ice cream. Ngo is surprisingly calm and candid about the timing. “There’s always competition, even if you’re as big as Starbucks, you have Dunkin’ Donuts to compete with. Whereas with us, ice cream rolling is still a new trend, not everyone knows about it. So there’s room.” Ngo is hoping his rolls are a step up from those of his competitors. Offering non-dairy options like sorbets, waffle cones to encase your rolls and unlimited toppings (there are 30 to choose from, including cheesecake cubes), Ngo feels he can stay ahead of the pack. He also believes his product might make curiousity seekers into loyal customers. “Rolled ice cream being popular, it could be a hype or trend kind of thing, but we’re a little unique because we make our own ice cream base, everything is all natural,” Ngo says, sitting at one of the ice cream bar’s only open tables for just a moment. “A lot of people get their ice cream base made elsewhere and it’s like powdered with artificial flavors and preservatives, whereas ours is all natural with basic cream, homemade house sugar cane, just a plain and simple recipe.” Texture also seems to factor in. “Ours is really soft, it may melt a little quicker than the others because we don’t put the artifi-

cial preservatives that might keep it hard. (We’re just gonna leave those Viagra jokes alone, people) “It takes like 15-30 minutes to melt at other places, but ours, it melts once you put it in your mouth. It’s so hard at other places.” (Like I said, people, moving right the fuck along...) That recipe took a lot of trial and error for Ngo, who says he made hundreds or even thousands of ice cream rolls before getting the recipes where he wanted them. ”I wouldn’t say I’m a big ice cream eater, but I learned to enjoy, I liked ice cream, but never loved it,” says Ngo with a smile,”but after eating it for a while I kind of did love it. I still have to taste it every day so it gets to be a lot.” If you haven’t yet gotten to experience Thai-style ice cream, the concept is a fairly simple one. The liquid dairy base is poured onto a -20 degrees Fahrenheit pan, where it freezes up. Ngo says it takes about three minutes to make a bowl of rolls, but far longer to perfect the style. “To master it takes about a good week or two; initially just learning from scratch it took me about a month, just because I had to find out about all the kinks, and learn about everything from scratch.” Ngo adds that the hardest part of getting the technique down is making the rolls pretty (because, Instagram). “Certain ice cream machines roll at different temperatures, there’s a certain way to roll with certain machines, just learning the machines can be tricky. Once I learned, I just passed it along to the staff.” Open for three weeks, Ngo is already fielding questions about a possible second shop or even a franchise. He’s quick to answer no. “We’ve been really busy, sometimes on the weekend our wait time is like an hour long. We just didn’t expect this many customers. We want to perfect the store, there’s still a lot of efficiencies and improvements I want to do before we start expanding.” Subtly trying to exit the store on his way back to man the bubble tea truck, Ngo stands against the large Pokemon picture at the entrance to the shop. It’s worth making him late to ask what’s up with the poster: Is it another Poke ploy to get players in the shop? “Well, we set up lures but people like to take pictures with the Pokemon picture. I really don’t have too much time but I’m up to level seven.” Who has time for Pokemon when there’s ice cream to roll? n

8 | Philly Weekly | August 25 -31, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

HOSTED BY RADIO 104.5'S JESSIE

BBQ • CARNIVAL GAMES • FACE PAINTER • TICKET RAID GIVEAWAYS • LIVE BANDS ALL DAY & MUCH MORE ALL AGES • RAIN OR SHINE

phillyweekly.com | August 25 -31, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 9

NOW ENROLLING 2016-2017 SCHOOL YEAR

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More sweet treats....

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Who:

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Who: Weckerly’s Must try: Burnt Sugar Apple Crumble

ice cream. The 19-year-old is credited with making rolled ice cream a thing in Philly this summer. Where: 711 Walnut Street in Washington Square Park

Ice cream and Wildflower Pistachio Sorbet Where: 4500 Worth Street

Who: Ice Land Must try: Yet

• Culinary & Event Management

Career Certifications Available for All Academic Programs

Five Sisters Ice Cream & Middle East Food Must try: Baklava Ice Cream Where: 1949 N. Front Street

Who: Mueller’s Chocolate Must try: Their new Chocolate Tower Sundae, which features scoops of cookie dough, cookies n’ cream, and peanut butter swirl ice cream, with chocolate covered marshmallow homemade chocolate sauce and peanut butter chips. Where: 519 Huntingdon Pike, Rockledge. Also, Reading Terminal Market, 51 N 12th St. (Chocolate Tower Sundae not available at the Market)

Who: Little Baby’s Ice Cream Must try: For those with a passion for

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water ice, Little Baby’s Ice Cream is putting water ice back on the menu. Don’t take it for granted, Little Baby’s water ice is extremely rare. If water ice doesn’t cool you off, they’re also bringing back another rarity; the Ice Cream Flavor Blueberry Ginger. Where: 2311 Frankford Avenue and 4903 Catharine Street

Who: Sweet Charlie’s Must try: Kyle Billig’s Thai style rolled

another Thai-style rolled ice cream spot, Ice Land offers another Thai-style dessert called Snow Ice, made the day prior and frozen overnight, it’s mostly milk and flavorings such as taro, Matcha green tea, or other flavors with water added for the mixture to freeze over. Once frozen, the ice block is shaved into a cup. While it might sounds odd to eat essentially ice shavings, Snow Ice has a smooth cream-like texture. Where: 224 N. 10th Street.

Who: The Igloo Must try: Need a jolt of energy with your tasty treat? Try The Igloo’s new Espresso Custard Shakes or their Espresso Salted Caramel Shakes. Not only do you get custard but you also get a heaping two shots of espresso in every shake. If two shots is a bit too much, try their new soft serve Affogatos, with only one shot of espresso over soft serve gelato. Where: 1514 Frankford Avenue and 2223 Grays Ferry Avenue

In 1904, Frank Mitchell and Charles Ness came together in Philadelphia to establish Mitchell & Ness Sporting Goods. Over one hundred years later, Mitchell & Ness remains the premier destination for vintage sports apparel. FLAGSHIP STORE: 1201 CHESTNUT ST | TEL: 267.273.7622 | MITCHELLANDNESS.COM | TEL: 866.879.6485 phillyweekly.com | August 25 -31, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 11

NEWS | by JacquEliNE Rupp @PhillyJackie

Elevating the Edibles Inside one pastry chef’s altruistic marijuana baking business.

t’s a sunny, warm Friday afternoon in Philly. It’s just before 5 p.m. and people are filling the sidewalks of Center City. I’m headed to a well-known Rittenhouse restaurant. But I’m not going for dinner… I’m here for dessert. A takeout dessert that can get you a fine or even prison time in most parts of America. I’m here to meet “Carly,” as she doesn’t want her real name used. She works the front of house as her primary job. But she’s also a trained pastry chef—her true passion—and I’m here to pick up some of her marijuana-infused edibles. I found Carly through a friend who often raved about her baking prowess with cannabis. These are not those gnarly looking weed brownies that cost you a fiver in a pre-concert parking lot. Instead, think Termini meets Snoop Dog. Think pretty, little individual desserts, icing-decorated, plump and fluffy, with a mellow buzz of THC. Definitely not ordinary tailgating edibles. That’s the quality Carly promises to me over the phone before we meet. She also promises that with a bit of lead time, she can create nearly any flavor I want, from pumpkin cheesecake to peanut butter chocolate. It’s a nerve-racking experience, waiting in the foyer of the eatery. People are streaming in to get tables and I’m in their way, so I retreat to the bar. This isn’t your standard pot pickup afterall. I feel like everyone knows what I’m waiting for. Paranoia has set in before my first bite! How does a baker get into edibles? For Carly, it wasn’t all fun and munchies. During what she describes as routine surgery, something went wrong. “They ended up hitting other organs and they hit my bowels as well, so they had to remove a piece and reattach it and they sent me home with a ton of opioids.” Paranoid about the risk of addiction from painkillers, she remembered a stash of leftover hash oil she had from many months ago. A week out of the hospital, when she was finally able to stand on her own, Carly recalls setting to work in the kitchen, oil in hand. “I made some muffins for myself and thought if the pain comes from cramping, then why not try a muscle relaxer first. It worked really well.” Having extras, she decided to give some to a friend. “He took them to a bar that he’s a partner in owning and he said that it was like a classic car auction when he walked in with them. He ended

up calling me back and said, ‘Holy shit! I didn’t know you could make these.’ I went to culinary school, of course I can make them.” Two days later, Carly had an order for three dozen cakes. Then, four dozen. The demand made Carly decide it was time to start a business—well, as much of a business as one can start with a still illegal substance. After all, as little as two weeks ago the federal government again ruled that marijuana should be listed at the same classification level as heroin. But it wasn’t all capitalist aspirations and entrepreneurial excitement surrounding the start of her edibles company. Around this time, Carly’s younger sister was re-diagnosed with cancer, her father-in-law was diagnosed with ALS, and her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. “It was a pretty hard time for the family in general. All of them were not generally

12 | Philly Weekly | August 25 -31, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

‘partakers,’ but they wanted something on the non-inhaling side to ease their discomfort.” It was at that point that Carly and her business partner decided they were not going to charge the seriously or terminally ill. Currently Carly delivers, free of charge, her tasty pot desserts to as many ailing patients as the business can handle at one time. That’s currently about 14 regulars, although she says her paying customers also report sharing with friends for medical purposes too. “The first thing that I usually hear isn’t about how I’ve helped them. It’s about how they couldn’t stop giggling for about an hour after they ate the cupcake and that it’s been a long time since they have just been able to laugh like that,” explains Carly, her voice cracking a bit. “Then the next feedback is usually ‘I ate it about two hours before my chemo treatment and I didn’t feel nausea this time. I felt run-

down but I was able to eat dinner in the evening,’ or ‘On a daily basis I typically suffer from two seizures, on that particular day, I didn’t have one.’” Carly is able to offer the freebies because she says her profit margins are quite high. Where a typical restaurant might have food costs of around 30 percent, for an edibles bakery, it’s about 10. “Instead of pocketing that, we’re just paying it forward.” In the last two years, Carly estimates serving at least 50 people. Aside from the product donations, she also notes that the business donates one dollar from each edible sold to animal rescue organizations. How many run-of-themill pot dealers can boast that? If it looks more like a business model you’d see from Toms, the philanthropic shoe retailer, that’s not by accident. Carly has made every effort to approach this like a legit business, even if the federal government does not see it that way (currently). “We tried to structure it like if we were a business like Insomnia Cookies. So we have a minimum order of four and the packages typically come in packs of four to six. We have professional packaging, we have a logo and we’re working on having stickers made for the logo.” Just no business cards, apparently. For clients who just want the baked goods for fun, there are some rules designed to keep Carly out of trouble. She deals strictly by referrals, selling only to people she’s met, or word of mouth from someone that she trusts. “The majority of our clients, as it turned out, are highend executives that smoke or don’t, but think that the edibles are just cute and cheeky.” How does one find themselves cooking up pot cupcakes? For Carly that path began in high school. No, not sneaking getting high in bathrooms, but being a part of student government and planning proms. How the two mesh isn’t all that far fetched. Managing high school dances made her realize she wanted to go into the events business. “I saw my friends signing off on $100,000 loans for bachelors and masters to get a job teaching to make $60,000 a year. I decided to be a little smarter and to finetune my education a bit.” She decided on a two-year culinary school, specializing in hospitality management and events, with a big part of the curriculum centered around culinary and beer and wine courses. “I just fell in love with the food

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industry at that time.” After interning in Colorado, appropriately enough, Carly was working full time in hospitality and growing a network of corporate connections that would eat up, literally her new magic muffin concept. Today, she’s married and pursuing her career both in the restaurant and in the kitchen. Her husband is actually in the armed forces, so things can get a little tricky at home. She says he does not smoke and that he does not want to know anything about her business. But it does give her concern. “I’m not allowed to bring the actual product into my home, unless it’s in food form. At the same time he supports me 100 percent and he’s a huge advocate for the product considering how it helped his father and mother. It’s a concern only because I don’t want to embarrass or affect him in any way.” To make the business safer, she’s structured it as two separate entities, one side procuring product and Carly’s side doing the baking and sales of the edibles. Carly doesn’t grow or buy marijuana buds, she says she barely touches it in fact. “When I see it, it’s ground up, and I’m reducing it to oil or simmering it, then it’s strained and thrown away and then I have the oil. So the oil is the biggest risk for me here in the city.” “It’s gotten to be as busy as you could probably expect, by word of mouth only. We’re constantly teetering on that border of how far do we go before the government tells us that we can be legitimate.” Though Governor Tom Wolf has signed legislation to legalize medical cannabis, the new regs do not allow for the sale of food products. Nonetheless, Carly is emboldened by Philadelphia’s decriminalization two years ago, which made possession of under 30 grams punishable by a small civil fine that’s not much worse than a parking ticket. Still Carly is obviously frustrated by the slow-to-change laws, both national and local. “Unfortunately if the [Food and Drug Administration] doesn’t approve it, then nobody can do anything. So when I was holding my little sister’s hair back, when she was 21 and gray and 90 pounds because she couldn’t keep down water, she wouldn’t smoke because it was breaking the law, and it was really enraging for me.” And for those who think this issue is just one that partakers and cancer patients might support, Carly tries to highlight the possible profits states and cities could see from legalization. For example Colorado, where marijuana was legalized in 2014, collected $135 million in taxes and fees on nearly $1 billion in pot sales last year. “... I think that one of our biggest concerns right now is bankrupt schools. We want young to middle-aged professionals

to move in and stay. The one thing that we’re missing right now with our demographic is that people of my age that work in the city, that love the city, that want to live in the city can’t afford $30,000 a year for private school and don’t want to take the risk that they won’t win the charter school lottery.” Her hope is that Mayor Kenney will pass a bill to legalize the recreational use of marijuana in the city. “It would be amazing. In that case, you will see our shops in any neighborhood that will have us.” Whether city profits from such a legalization could be used to help the ailing school district would surely become another debate altogether. “I’m hoping that happens sooner rather than later, and not just for my sake.” But back to the product. What makes these edibles different from any old potinfused dessert? Carly says she spent two years perfecting the ratio and the components of her specific oil. Her baked goods have no discernable hint of cannabis: no funky smell, no dank flavor. A nice perk when you’re carrying cupcakes around town, I quickly discovered. The creamcheese butter cream-stuffed carrot cake with pecans cupcakes, packaged inside a standard plastic bakery carton, look beautiful. Carly says the trickiest part to the baking process is getting the burning temperatures down and consistencies for specific oils or fatty oil products. “Butter and olive oil have a super-high burning potential, meaning lower temperature and period of time can start a burn off. What you don’t want is burn off because it compromises the integrity and quality of the product. You end up burning off a lot of the potency of the product and that’s such a waste.” “I would say that the one and only complaint that I’ve received in two years of operation is that the client got way too messed up because they ate more than I told them to. I asked them, ‘Well, why did you do that?” They said, ‘... The problem with that is, they’re so delicious we want to eat the whole thing, so we just eat it thinking it’s not going to be that bad. Next thing we know we’re crouched in the corner of our backyard thinking our parents are going to come home and catch us at 40 years old.’” Carly has since toned down the potency of her product, now advising clients to eat half if you’re you a non-habitual partaker or a full cupcake if you’re a daily user. It could be seen as a credit to her craft that Carly is being called upon to make cannabis-free desserts as well. She has a promo called the Classic Mistake planned for those who can’t get enough of her sweets: Buy one special cake, get a benign cake for later. For when the munchies kick in of course. n

phillyweekly.com | August 25 -31, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 15

Defending DEB It’s cool to hate on Diner en Blanc, but is it necessary?

Every year since Diner en Blanc first set its white tablecloths atop tables around Eakin’s Oval five years ago, the post-Diner debate has raged. Why would people pay fifty bucks to bring their own food to a public space? Why do you have to wear white? Who do they think they are? The haters line up year after year to ask the same questions, but the waiting list for invitations and the subsequent turn-out to the French-inspired all-white dinner party continues to grow, this year totaling 5,000. Part of the criticism is that this is elitist, pretentious and obnoxious. Yet, at $45 a seat, it’s a far cheaper night out than most black tie galas that run every other weekend. And, if you look at the crowd, you’ll see these are far from just society regulars that populate those old-money events. This DEB crowd isn’t bringing out the antique jewelry, it’s shopping on Etsy. And among the big social events of the city, DEB happens to be the most diverse. Far from being the white

wash that many of the pop-up beer gardens and Fishtown festivals tend to be, DEB appears widely popular among black attendees and other minorities. And where else do you see people from various races and economic backgrounds dining elbow to elbow, fine china next to dixie cups and Tupperware? You also hear a lot about the trash left behind. Although it is well publicized that part of the ticket price goes to clean-up, the party still raises the ire of people accusing these thoughtless revelers of trashing a public space for the sake of a good time. Visions of Marie Antoinette swirl. But is this just because people are all dressed up in white? Would the trash be more acceptable if they were wearing Eagles jerseys at the Linc? Finally there’s the joke that who would pay to bring their own food, what do you get for your money? Has no one ever paid a cover at a bar only to find the bar shitty and the house band awful. You’re in, you’re out and you’re down $20. DEB, for its part, provides the space licensing, live music, DJs, photographers and sparklers. DEB might be one big, white selfie-opp, but there’s a lot more deserving spots on which to pin your hopelessness in humanity. —JACQUELINE RUPP

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16 | Philly Weekly | August 25 -31, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

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phillyweekly.com | August 25 -31, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 17

NEWS | By JACQUELINE RUPP

Bad Pop-Up

t’s been six years since Stephen Starr brought the pop-up concept to Philly. Since then, we’ve all become used to the annual tradition of waiting for the next PHS temporary garden to arrive come summer, the ushering in of hammocks at Spruce Street and the holiday pop-up shops all over the place. The popup used to be a cool, new thing. Now it’s just typical. And, now, adding one more nail to its popping coffin: corporate sponsorship. Putting a big brand name on top of a thriving trend usually means its best cool days are behind it. And sadly here we stand, with Clorox and its offshoots, Hidden Valley Ranch and Glad giving out products to kids in what they call a Back to School Pop-Up. Now whether bleach cleaner is the best thing to give to kids, in the corporation’s defense its pop-up at Andrew Hamilton School did hand out a ton of freebie school supplies like copybooks and binders, amidst the heaps of toilet cleaner and ranch dip. Yet, we can see how this is the start of a bad trend: The bastardization of the pop-up. Once dedicated to giving the little guy (okay Starr is far from the little guy) the chance to dabble in the retail or restaurant world, we might be looking at a change to corporate branding infiltrating—under the guise of charitable giving—these once semi-pure ephemeral spots. What’s next? Get ready for these 10 Bad Pop-up Ideas

Live! Pop-up Casino to Benefit Gambler’s Anonymous

With its Live! Casino planned for South Philly being a long way from completion, the gambling mecca could get the gaming going on any street corner in the city. Imagine it’s pay day, you won’t even have to use the Sugar Express to unload your dough. Bonus: free check cashing station.

Pop-up Funeral Homes

Nothing says good taste like some funeral planning over your lunch hour. But, in 18 | Philly Weekly | August 25 -31, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

the funeral business, is there really a time not to exploit the grieving? Yes, of course your loved one deserves the goldencrusted casket.

Pop-up Batting Cages

Because the city has far too many windows presently

Pop-up Rehab

The event planner says to the AA director, “We’ll put this on 2nd and Market, right where it’s been scientifically proven the most drunk girls vomit and the most bros punch taxi cabs at 2:15 a.m.”

Huggies Pop-up Poop Park

Change your baby, don’t clean up after your dog

Target Pop-Up to Benefit the Small Business Development Association

This could be conveniently popped up right along Fabric Row. You’re feeling creative? Target understands, come here instead, we got your hipster artsy furniture mass produced to look handmade. Will you be using your Redcard to save 5 percent today?

Budweiser Pop-Up

Oh wait, we already have Made in America.

Delilah’s Pop-up Den Sponsored by Chickie and Pete’s to benefit CHOP Hey, you have a problem with charity? Evil bastards.

Pop-Up Cheesesteak

This could be conveniently located right near the historic district around 5th and Market, so no one will ever have to answer the question “Hey, where can I get the best Philly cheesesteak?” ever again. A second pop-up could be added to the Rocky Statue during the height of tourist season. n

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Had to Get Away

EAR READERS: This is the final week of my summer vacation—but you’ve been getting a new column every week I’ve been gone, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me. Our final guest Dan Savage is an independent designer, illustrator, and animation director based in Brooklyn, New York. He created Yule Log 2.0 (watchyulelog.com), a collaborative art project where animators around the world reimagine the famous Yule log fireplace. He has worked with the New York Times, Herman Miller, and Google, he’s taught design and animation at NYU and SVA, and he’s won a bunch of design industry awards you probably haven’t heard of. “I was excited to do this, even though I have no authority on the topic,” says Daniel Savage, award-winning independent designer. “But I surprisingly felt pretty confident in my answers, as ridiculous as they may be.” I’m a 41-year-old straight woman who stayed a virgin way longer than I should have (thank you, church and cultural slut shaming). When I finally realized that “not until marriage” wasn’t working for me and did the real thing, I discovered I loved it. Go me, right? Unfortunately, I’m not good at dating, so I usually go a long time between relationships. The relationship I’m in now is the first one I’ve had in two years. “Guy” is nice to me—calls me beautiful, sticks up for me, comes to watch me play with a community orchestra (my own family and friends don’t even come to my shows). But we don’t have much in common (hobbies, political outlook, religious beliefs) and sometimes our conversations feel labored. But that’s okay, right? At least I’m getting my sexual needs met, right? Well, no. Every single time we’ve tried to have sex, Guy either can’t get hard or stays hard for only a few minutes. I’ve tried going down on him, using my hands, different positions— nothing works. He’s never had an orgasm with me. We don’t even kiss that much. I don’t say anything because I don’t want to hurt his feelings and because I’m really grateful to him for wanting to be with me and being nice to me. He says sorry and that he’s asked the doctor about it, but we don’t get anywhere. It feels lonelier than when I was single. To be blunt, I don’t want to date him anymore. But I feel too guilty to break up with him. We’ve dated for four months, and I don’t know if I’m giving up too soon. Where would I be if previous boyfriends had ditched me for being inexperienced instead of showing me the ropes? Don’t I owe Guy the same thing? —Too Down To Be Witty First off, I think a long time between relationships is good. I also think not having things in common can be okay if you create new hobbies and experiences you can

share. Having said that, TDTBW, four months is plenty of time to know if it’s working. He sounds super boring. The sooner you break it off with him the better. You don’t want to hurt him any more than you have to, especially if he’s really into you, and the longer you draw it out, the more it’s going to hurt. No amount of “training” is going to get this dude hard. The only rope being shown here is his flaccid ding-dong. It doesn’t seem like you even want to be his friend if you broke up. I wouldn’t feel guilty at all about dumping him. Sometimes you gotta think about number one. I’ve always enjoyed reading your column— maybe I just get turned on by other people’s sexual endeavors or maybe reading about other people’s sexual frustrations makes my situation seem better in comparison. So what am I writing about? Well, I suppose the question is this: When does one just become blatantly ungrateful? I’ve been in a two-year mixed relationship (she’s Native and 24, I’m white and 29), and we fight a lot. She cheated on me a couple times early in the relationship. She says I pressured her into getting into a relationship when she wasn’t ready to “settle down,” which I suppose I could see. My problem is I have a handjob fetish and my girlfriend has a disinterest in it, to the point where she just won’t do it. But why am I bitching? I get laid every day for the most part, surprise blowjobs, 69ing, you name it. Should I accept this as fate? But just this morning, we went for round two, and I was having a hard time coming, and out of nowhere she pops up and jerks me off till climax. It really took me back. Would it be bad to fake having coming issues in hopes she does it again? Is that unfair? —Tugboat Captain It’s interesting that your problem isn’t the fact that she cheated on you, TG, or the relationship problems, or the constant fighting. No, it’s the lack of handjob enthusiasm. Honestly, man, it seems like you have much deeper issues here—but the handjob problem is the only concrete thing you point to? The girlfriend you’ve got sounds super selfish, and finding a new girl—one who wouldn’t cheat on you and would be excited to jump into a relationship AND be down with a little tug—isn’t going to be that difficult of a task. I mean, your fetish seems like it’s an easy one to explore. But to answer your actual question: I would go ahead and fake it. Fuck it, lie to her. It seems like she has no issues lying to you! n

There’s more Savage Love! Read more at ph.ly/savage Ask a question: mail@savagelove.net phillyweekly.com | August 25 -31, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 19

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What is a “One-Time Show” listing?

With this type of listing the homeowner signs an agreement with the agent. What this agreement declares is the homeowner will provide the agent with a commission for selling the property. This agreement also states the homeowner cannot negotiate with the buyer at a later time to avoid paying a commission. This type of listing is most often used by agent showing FSBO (for sale by scohen@mccannteam.com owner).

Stuart C Cohen 215.275.0800

What is the difference between being Stuart, a native Philadelphian, attended prequalified and preapproved for a loan?

If Central you’re prequalified it means that you POTENTIALLY could get a loan for the amount stated to High School and Pennsylvania you, assuming that Stuart all of the you provide to the bank is accurate and true. This is not State University. hasinformation been listing, asselling, strong investing as a preapproval. and developing in the If you’re preapproved, it means that you have undergone the extensive financial background Philadelphia Real Estate Market for over check, which includes looking at your credit history, previous tax returns and verifying your em26 years. He is a principal in numerous ployment - and the lender is willing to give you a loan, basically meaning you’re approved! real companies and has owned figure which shows the maximum amount that you are You estate will usually be provided an accurate and developed hundreds of properties approved for. Most sellers prefer buyers that have been preapproved because they know that throughout theany Philadelphia Metropolitan there will not be problems with the purchase of their home.

area. Stuart has won numerous sales awards throughout his career, and questions at: person@phillyweekly.com Sumbit your Real Estate enjoys being a part of the real estate brokerage firm of Fox and Roach Realtors as an buyer and investment specialist. With over $500,000,000.00 in closed transaction, Stuart can get the deal done!!!

22 | Philly Weekly | August 25 -31, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Over 50 years in the real estate business

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Central High School and Pennsylvania Go to phillyweekly.com State for University. Stuart today the latest inhas been listing, stories and news. selling, investing and developing in the

Philadelphia Real Estate Market for over 26 years. He is a principal in numerous real estate companies and has owned and developed hundreds of properties throughout the Philadelphia Metropolitan area. Stuart has won numerous sales awards throughout his career, and enjoys being a part of the real estate brokerage firm of Fox and Roach Realtors as an buyer and investment specialist. With over $500,000,000.00 in closed transaction, Stuart can get the deal done!!!

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"Stuart is a shark when it comes to #phillyweekly the center city world of real estate. He worked tirelessly with us to find the right home. What we were looking for would only exist on the market for a few hours,@phillyweekly if it weren't for his determination, we wouldn't be home owners. We would recommend Stuart." - Homebuyer 2016 in Point Breeze via Zillow

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