Revive Magazine | Issue No. 1 | June 2013

How Strong is Your

Receiving

Mu s c l e

Are You Pissing People Off

3

Surprising Ways

to Enrich Your Connection

Be Still and Unlock

z Message

of Your Soul

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

Innaugural Issue June 25, 2013 Publisher | Kimberly Riggins

Contributors

from the editor

Editor | Kimberly Riggins Art Director | Cassandra L. Pedersen

Authors Dear Reader, I can’t believe the premier issue of Revive magazine is finally in your hands. I’m over the moon excited to share it with you.

Putting together this magazine felt like I was birthing another child—well, a business baby.

There were so many moving parts, unexpected snags and lots of sleepless nights. But I must confess, it was all worth it.

Why? Because I can now say that I have accomplished another one of my dreams—to provide a beautiful, wisdom-packed resource that has YOU – the reader – in mind.

I know how hard it is being a multi-passionate woman in today’s world. Like you, I take on multiple roles on any given day. A business owner, a wife, a mom, an employee, a friend, a caretaker, confidant…the list goes on and on.

It’s tough. I get it and so do the other 19 amazing contributing authors. That is why they have given you their best suggestions and tips to help you truly create a life you can love.

I believe you are a woman who deserves it all. A thriving business, an overflowing bank account, deep meaningful relationships, abundant love and stellar health—Essentially a life filled with limitless joy.

Why settle for anything less? I know with some determination, persistence and lots of inspired action, YOU can make anything happen.

Reach for the stars,

Jenn Burton Michele Lisenbury Christensen Jacqueline Fairbrass Jodie Harvala Deb Hirschhorn Nichole Kellerman Michelle Leath Helen Hunter Mackenzie Amber McCue Bernardo Mendez Michelle Nickolaisen Bill Poett Grace Quantock Marita Rahlenbeck Riikka Rajamaki Kimberly Riggins Leah Shapiro Alana Sheeren Kendrick Shope

Contact for Advertising reviveads@kimberlyriggins.com

General Questions revivemag@kimberlyriggins.com

Kimberly Riggins Your Editor in Chief

Issue 1 | June 2013 - Revive

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

Inaugural Issue - June 2013

contents departments & features

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18

20

16

Business + Wealth

Clone Yourself for Business Success The Best Business Mentor EVER How to Plan for Your Biz How Strong is Your Receiving Muscle?

Your Secret Formula for Overcoming Objections

15

Personal Growth + Spirituality

24

Love + Relationships

34

Health + Wellness

Stay In Love Shift Happens Finding Your Way When Your Heart Aches Be Still and Unlock the Message of Your Soul You Can't Handle the Truth

What's the Difference Between Our Work + Our Relationships The Daily Yum! Mirror Mirror Three Surprising Ways to Enrich Your Connection Un-Lost in Translation

Are You Pissing People Off? The Weighting Game Radical Resting Life is Messy But You Can Still Choose Happy

For Your Information: Click on any of the Revive Issue # | Date next to the page number to be redirected back to this contents page.

Issue 1 | June 2013 - Revive

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

Clone Clone Clone Yourself for Business $uccess

By Amber McCue

As leaders, this can sometimes challenge us because we tend to attract people who are like us. It takes extra effort and requires we look from an objective point of view to ensure that that person is in fact better than us in the areas where we are weak and seeking help. Sometimes fear can surface here at the thought of someone being better than. It is important to not get stuck here, because the mission you have to fulfill is greater that your fear.

Now onto the fun part – Bringing it to life!

After you find the people who can do what needs to get done better than you can, you are charged with inspiring them to follow and rally to partner with you to make the vision of your company come to life.

Engaging your “clones” in your “why” and inspiring them to rise to the challenge to deliver on your company’s mission is where the magic happens. The people you bring into your inner circle are a key part of your tribe and when they understand your why – why you set out to accomplish what you do day in and day out – you will multiply your efforts.

The end result is pure business bliss.

I recently had the opportunity to speak at two stops on Tory Johnson’s Spark and Hustle tour. I was speaking on the topic of How to Clone Yourself in business.

It is a favorite topic of mine because I love a good business challenge and what business owner (or mother) hasn’t needed more hours in the day or a second set of hands at one point or another?

Again and again in my 40 person Spark and Hustle breakout in DC, people echoed the challenges they have with finding great people to help them grow their business.

Here are the three most common challenges these entrepreneurs faced.

Challenge #1: I am a control freak.

It is true. Many entrepreneurs have this control freak thing going on, but let’s get real about what you really want. You want results, right?

Focus on the end game: To fill a need in the market. To deliver a service or product. To hit a certain revenue target. To change the world.

Stop fretting about everything in between.

Focus on results.

Challenge #2: It will take me more time to train someone than it will take me to do it myself.

Okay, okay. This one time it may take a bit more time; however, this is a very short-sided point of view. Growing a successful business that is set up for long-term success takes time. And you don’t plan on being a one-hit wonder, do you?

I guarantee the time it will take you to document your systems and train the right person or team now will give you a significant return on your investment of time and save you weeks and months in the long run.

4Amber McCue is an entrepreneurial business coach and small business consultant who partners with leaders who want to do business better than usual. One client refers to her as a combination of Mother Teresa and the energizer bunny—All wrapped up in a best girlfriend. Amber went from a single mom to a six-figure earner by the age of 27. Amber has partnered with leaders of tiny start-ups to multi-million dollar companies. She also cofounded her own photography boutique.

Challenge #3: I need to find someone that will do it like I do.

This final myth is my favorite because on the surface it makes perfect sense.

After all, who will nurture and care for your clients as much as you do? Who has put in the sweat, tears, and potentially massive financial investment to this point? Who understands the purpose of this business better than you do?

You do not actually want a clone; instead you want a partner-in-crime who will do BETTER than you will.

Start the cloning process now with your complementary Get Efficient Prioritization Workshop when you sign up to Double Your Profit and Rule your Empire at NiceOps.com.

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By Helen Hunter McKenzie

The BEST Business Mentor

Ever

Who’s Advice You’ve Probably Been Ignoring

My computer mouse hovered over

the ‘Buy Now’ button.

I read and reread the sales page at least 20 times, closing it in my browser each night and then going back to look at it the next day.

And promptly called a friend to share how freaked out I was about the price.

Her response?

(Gulp.)

Until then, I had been a total DIY business owner. Capable of doing things my own way.

Do I really need this?

The problem was, I wasn’t making any progress.

Surely I can figure this out by myself.

So, here I was, considering an online groupcoaching program.

My shopping addiction had been taking over my life while my business suffered.

To be honest, I thought the ‘group’ part sounded safe.

(Actually it wasn’t really a ‘business’ at the time. More like a really, really expensive hobby.)

What could she possibly tell me that I don’t already know?

Like, I won’t really have to go out of my comfort zone safe.

I went ahead and enrolled for $397.

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

How many $400 bags and pairs of shoes have you bought without a second thought?

Oooooooh. Totally called out.

And I hadn’t been willing to get help.

But taking that group program turned out to

be one of the best decisions I ever made.

Step #2: Get curious.

And over the years I’ve had a handful of great mentors (and a couple of lousy ones).

Bring a question to your wise inner mentor.

The question could be, “What should I do next?” or “What do I really want in this situation?”

But the BEST mentor I’ve ever had?

Well, she’s someone I can always rely on, even though sometimes she gets angry and frustrated with me. She follows me around everywhere. And constantly talks to me.

And every time I look in the mirror, she’s looking back at me.

Yes, I’m talking about MYSELF. Well, actually my deeper self—the me Who I Really Am. When I listen (really listen) to this inner mentor that is accessible to me 24/7, I always get a clear answer about my next steps.

You too are your own best business mentor.

You have within you the tools to: • Seek help in your business • Ask for (and get) more money for your work • Market your products and services like a pro It’s merely a matter of uncovering those tools.

So how do you do it?

The following 3-step process, while seemingly basic, packs a powerful punch (in the way of personal peace and/or prosperity).

Step #1: Get quiet.

Get to a quiet place and get still and relaxed.

Feel your muscles relax from head to toe.

Focus on your breath as it enters and leaves your body.

If it helps, count 10 in/out breath cycles just to give you somewhere to go.

Or you could phrase your question more like a command: “Please show me a sign,” or “Please lead me to the right passage to read.”

Come without an agenda—but with trust and expectation that your question will be answered.

I’ve found myself on many an occasion reading a goosebump-inducing passage that related to my issue EXACTLY, seeing a sign, or hearing a clear voice telling me exactly what I should do (or not do) next.

Sometimes it happens right away, and sometimes it happens later on almost imperceptibly. Be patient.

Step #3: Get out of the way.

After you’ve asked your question and sat quietly for awhile (it needn’t take more than 10 minutes from start to finish), it’s time to get on with things.

Bring every question in your business to this process instead of to your friends and associates on Facebook or elsewhere.

(I’m serious! It’s that powerful.)

Your inner mentor will get louder and louder the more you trust her.

And she’ll save you time, money, and heartache—and will direct you and your business exactly where you want to go.

4Helen Hunter Mackenzie is a marketing strategist, entrepreneur, and creator of the Honeygirl Customer Attraction Method-a program that’ll have you creating products and services so delicious you’ll want to buy them from yourself! She works with women entrepreneurs around the globe to help them become empowered, sincere, skillful marketers without sacrificing their authenticity, femininity, or values in the process.

This means, get into action and trust that your inner mentor will direct you appropriately.

If you feel compelled to pick up a book (or one falls off the shelf), don’t delay in opening it up.

If you see a clear sign, act on it right away.

If you get a deep sense that you should take (or not take) some particular action, LISTEN. But don’t just read this- do it yourself.

Practice this 3-step process every day for a month.

Still need some clarity around your business or offerings? Click here to receive your free, no opt-in meditation and worksheet (a $47 value) which will allow you to go deep within to discover the exact gift you are meant to bring to the world.

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lp a np lan

plan

How to

plan for your biz

(& not hate every second of it)

By Michelle Nickolaisen

Here’s the thing about creatives: they tend to not be very organized. A lot of this is due to misconceptions about, what, exactly, it is that being organized entails (mostly with a lot of ideas about how organization involves boring processes that totally stifle your creativity).

And here’s the thing about planning: not only is it something organize-y, and thus sometimes a lot of creatives avoid, but it can often seem like a waste of time and effort - instead of planning, why not just do?

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

While that flexible approach can help you in some situations, especially at the very early stages of your business where being experimental above all else will help you make leaps & bounds progress-wise, it can also be seriously detrimental once your business starts to take off - or once you have a clearer idea of where you want to go besides “somewhere that’s not here.”

But how do you get into the habit of planning in a way that doesn’t suck and actually has meaning + results for you?

Know What Your Priorities Are Choosing to focus on one project or area for your business can feel suffocating.

Juggling many different projects is part of what keeps many creative people going, but at the same time, not having clear priorities is part of what keeps a lot of creative businesses floundering and spinning their wheels.

I recommended choosing 1-3 priorities and knowing what they are at any given time. These can change - I usually have monthly priorities, and then break those down into priorities for each week (for example, if a monthly priority is building a backlog of content, then one week I might prioritize writing blog posts, the next week creating video reviews, etc.). This way, when you’re feeling overwhelmed and unclear, you can take a deep breath and look at your priorities before you start taking action, making sure that all of your effort is actually moving you towards something.

I also recommend, slightly paradoxically, giving yourself time to work on whatever you want. Whether it’s a structured specific time (Fridays are free days, for example) or at the end of the day when you’ve made progress on your priorities, or some combination of the two, unfocused play-work time is essential for maintaining happiness, creativity, & productivity (and, you know, not getting burned out).

How do you choose your priorities?

A lot of traditional business planning focuses on the long term (5-10 years); since I work mostly with online businesses in areas that are constantly changing, shifting, and evolving, I usually recommend people set priorities based on 1-3 year goals.

Tie Plans Back To Your Priorities A common hurdle that we encounter when planning is that we tend to create plans by looking at other peoples’ plans and mimicking them. Even if it’s not intentional, we think, “Oh, X worked really well for my friend, so I’m going to do some variant of that!”

When you’re planning your day/week/month/ year, you want to think about your priorities, and make sure you’re choosing activities that are not only based on those priorities, but based on what’s worked for you in the past or what you’re fairly certain will work for you. It doesn’t matter if blogging as content marketing is huge for everyone else, if you absolutely hate writing, then video might be a better way to go for you (and if you’re charismatic and fun to watch, you’ll get better results that way, too!).

Use Reinforcement + Ease to Make It A Habit When it comes to turning anything into a habit, there’s two ways to help it stick: posi-

tive reinforcement & ease.

Positive reinforcement is pretty self-explanatory. Want to make sure you get in the habit of planning on a weekly basis? Turn it into a mini-retreat, where you go to your favorite coffee shop and get a delicious cup of chai as you work on your plans.

When I say ease, what I mean is: do every-

thing in your power to make it easier to plan than to not plan. Continuing the

above example of going to a coffee shop, you’d leave your phone at home (so that you aren’t fighting the urge to check Facebook every 30 seconds), choose a coffee shop without Wi-Fi (same reasoning), and bring only what you needed to focus on your planning.

You remove the distractions before you get distracted, and voila! It’s much easier to do your work.

Now you’re all set to make meaningful plans and take action on them. Get out there & change the world!

4 Michelle Nickolaisen is a genius at making systems/productivity/organization/all that incredibly boring sounding stuff incredibly NOT boring so that you + your biz can reap the rewards. Without wanting to stick a dull spoon in your eye. She is an expert at finding out how + why something works (and then putting that knowledge to usually-good use), being grade-A curious, & getting things Done with a capital-D. Her other loves include dark chocolate, Joss Whedon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and tattoos.

n a pl If you want to be more productive, organized, & generally sane (without also being bored out of your mind), check out Michelle's site and sign up for The Dispatch - you’ll get access to the free ecourse Systems 101 as well as daily planner templates & tons of other goodies!

Issue 1 | June 2013 - Revive

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How Strong is Your

Receiving Muscle

By Kimberly Riggins

I had some serious money blocks.

I’m talking huge.

And they went far beyond, “Money doesn’t grow on trees” and “Money is the root of all evil.”

My block was, “No matter what I do there is never enough money.”

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

Can you relate?

I used to walk around in lack—believing there was never enough of anything—time, money, love, success.

And guess what happened?

You got it. Since I dwelled on my lack daily, that’s exactly what I experienced.

I kept getting more of what I didn’t want!

Duh. The basic law of attraction says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.”

But since I always have to learn things the hard way, I had to lose everything to recognize that I was assisting the Universe in creating the exact opposite of what I really wanted—TRUE ABUNDANCE. It took me months, if not years, to figure this out but as the saying goes, “It’s better late than never.”

The lesson: if you are living in lack—if you believe you do not have enough time, success, clients, or money, I’m here to tell you it has nothing to do with you not having enough.

It has everything to do with you NOT allowing yourself to RECEIVE. Your lack mentality isn’t a true reflection of how things really are—it’s just how you perceive the world.

I am going to challenge you to look around.

There is abundance everywhere. Life is thriving and plentiful.

And if you’re a business owner, deep down inside you MUST know there are more than enough clients to go around. There are billions of people in the world…just waiting to hear YOUR message.

Here’s what I would like you to try instead… the next time you are talking about your desires, speak from a place of having it, getting it, going for it and allowing it into your life.

Second, listen to your body.

I know that may sound strange to some of you but your body is brilliant if you give it half a chance. Truly.

So the next time you find yourself wishing you had more money, pay attention to how you’re feeling.

If you are feeling heavy, constricted, contracted, weighed down or stressed, most likely you are closed off from receiving.

But if you are feeling light, expansive, feel a greater sense of space—you are ready to receive.

It’s YOU who is limiting yourself.

This is the place you want to operate from.

So, how can you shift your lack mentality?

When you operate from this space, you’re now allowing room for possibility.

First, pay attention to how you speak.

Are you constantly using the words WANT and NEED? If you are—it’s time to change your word choice. Using the words want and need imply you are actually lacking something.

Remember, what you focus on you receive more of. So, essentially, you are telling the Universe you want more lack in your life. YUCK!

4Kimberly Riggins is an intuitive changemaker, wealth warrior and self-love expert whose primary mission is to help women fall madly in love with their life, business and bank account.

Her superpower: inspiring women to ditch their bullshit stories and be bold. She is the author of the wildly successful book, Love Your Naked Ass and the forthcoming book, Watch Her Thrive— a collaboration project she created to benefit Women for Women International and The Watch Her Thrive Project— two nonprofits dedicated to help women rise from the ashes and flourish. She is currently residing in Pennsylvania with her family and two Yorkshire terriers.

Space to manifest what you really desire.

More clients. No problem.

More time. You’ll find it.

More love. Give it and you shall receive.

More money. When you focus on it, watch it grow.

To help you strengthen your receiving muscle, I’ve designed a worksheet to help you called Let It Flow: Welcome Abundance—pay attention to the things you receive (both monetary and non-monetary) and watch everything in your life shift. I promise.

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Secret Formula

Your

for Overcoming Objections

By Kendrick Shope Objections are a gift, so embrace them!

It is true that objections frustrate the heck out of most of us, right? We take them personally, they make us cranky, and they zap us of our time and energy. But the truth is, when a prospect gives you an objection, it just means she doesn’t have all the information she needs to make an informed decision.

So what do you need to do? Let them know you understand where they are coming from, and ask more questions to get clarification.

By doing this, you are showing them empathy and creating trust. People like to work with people they trust.

Don’t hide from the objection.

Let your prospect know that you understand she has objections and that you want to really understand where she is coming from. Use the magic words “I understand” to ease the customers mind. Continue to ask questions in a genuine way to fully appreciate her situation.

Once there, confirm her objections by restating them to her. That’s right, tell her exactly what she told you.

When you have reached this point, you get to establish yourself as the expert. Indicate to her how you can help solve some of her problems.

Let her know how you plan to address those issues.

Make sure your prospect is with you.

It’s always a good idea to check for impact.

What I mean by that is, after you restate her

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

objections and establish yourself as the one who can solve her problems, ask her how she feels about it. This will tell you whether the two of you are on the same page or not.

Sometimes you are, but sometimes you are not. And if you’re not, that is OK. There are times when your prospect just won’t be ready to pull the trigger at that point. That’s fine; don’t let that frustrate you. I have a system to help you deal with that too. So don’t fret when that happens. That’s just one more person for you to happily follow up with.

But, when you and your prospect are on the same page after you check for impact, that is the time to ask for the business. And no, you don’t have to do this in an icky way.

This process works. I’ve been using it for years, first when I sold lumber, then when I was a top-performing pharmaceutical rep. And now I am using it in my online business. And you can use it too.

In summary, objections are your friend, not your enemy. They let you know that the potential client has a reservation. It’s your job to sell through those reservations and put her mind at ease.

How do you do that?

Step one Have some empathy. Use the magic words, “I agree” or “I understand” to let the buyer know you’re on the same page. This establishes trust. All things being equal friends buy from friends. All things being unequal friends buy from friends.

Step two Check for impact to be sure that you understood the objection correctly and that there isn’t a hidden objection buried in the potential buyers mind. You do this by asking openended, clarifying questions.

Step three Sell through objections with follow up emails, phone calls, or simply by restating the tangible outcomes your product or service delivers.

4Kendrick Shope is a sales coach and creator of Authentic Selling, which is a sales process designed to take the “ick” out of selling forever. A Martha Beck trained life coach and former top performing pharmaceutical sales representative, Kendrick saw the need for genuine, pressure free, selling in the online community. Kendrick works one on one with business owners to create and implement Authentic Selling strategies into their individual business so they can do more of what you love, reach more people, and make money doing it. You can learn more about Kendrick and Authentic Selling at www.kendrickshope.com.

Ready to master Authentic Selling?

Click Here for an audio recording that will help you jumpstart your sales. This is usually exclusive just for her clients, but now it can be yours.

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And I decided I will not let something that has happened to me define who I am.

Instead, I turned it around and saw myself as Love who is consciously picking and choosing experiences in order to grow into a vaster, brighter and wiser Love. As soon as I did that, I no longer had fear. Or everything that appeared as fear, I was willing to be with without the need to push it away.

By Riikka Rajamaki

Fear is something that itself is so feared. It is feared to the point of terror, denial and addiction. We do everything both possible and impossible in order to not feel fear.

We even have the ability to mask fear and make it look like love. We become skilled at manipulating what we think is love so profoundly that we make ourselves believe we are in love. We use love in order to avoid fear.

But it just doesn’t quite work that way.

We can only feel love, fall in love, stay in love if we are willing to stay in fear without the need to change it. We can only choose love if we are willing and capable of being vulnerable. Available.

When fear knocks at your door, open it, look at it straight into its eyes and call in the part of you that has been around the longest: your Spirit. Spirit is love itself. Put down your guard and ask to be loved. This simple act is all it takes. Let love take care of you. Recognize that your body and your psyche may feel unloved for a reason - it holds memories of tragic events, and cannot see beyond them.

Be a wise elder to your own experiences.

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Do you choose to turn to the part of you that already knows the answers, or do you turn to the part of you who knows how to collapse and shrink in fear?

And, I will also ask this: Are you willing to take responsibility?

I know, this question is not sexy.

But. You cannot set yourself free until you realize you are choosing to be either the result of things that happen to you or you are the cause. In other words, you are either a victim or a co-creator. You will stay in fear until you come to this place of responsibility. My own turning point was when I started to see myself as a conscious being instead of a powerless little crawler with no power of its own whatsoever. I started to love myself for the first time. And by loving, I mean really loving. Not only taking hot baths in candle light and buying myself beautiful things (which is important) but I started to see myself as a Woman who has made choices and they have not all been that great, but they have all taught me a great deal about the world, others and especially about myself. I stopped beating myself up for my mistakes. I chose to see love as something that takes many forms.

I accepted the fact that I don’t always get to choose that form.

Think of an issue, event or a situation in your life that is causing you fear right now. Name it. Write down how it makes you feel. Journal about it. Don’t edit yourself, let it all flow down onto the paper. Even the blame, judgment and anger that may be present. Notice the energy behind your words. Notice the pain. Do not judge yourself for feeling any of that, because in doing so, you create disharmony within you. Love every single part of your experience. Keep writing until you come to a place of quiet understanding, perspective and unconditional love towards others and yourself. See your part in the play. Take responsibility. Thank yourself for choosing an experience like this to learn and grow and deepen your understanding of love.

Stop the battle. You are love and you are loved. Everything else is just a choice that you have not yet understood.

4Riikka Rajamaki is a lover of life, food and everything beautiful and delicious, like raw chocolate, tulips and midsummer full moons. She left her home country of Finland and moved to New York City where she witnessed the fall of the Twin Towers right when she herself was hitting the bottom of her nobody-ness, wandering the streets without a job, money or a place to live. Now she helps people do nothing, and find the power of their inner world through meditation practice. She is the founder of The Daily Nothing, a certified Spirit Coach®, masseuse, alchemist, giver of Oneness blessings, and holds a MA in Sociology. Riikka knows there’s a song in your heart that will enlighten the world and she wants you to Sing it, Live it, Be it. Connect with her through her Website and Facebook.

As Riikka's gift to you, she has created a 10-minute guided meditation called Loving Yourself.

To grab a copy, click here.

Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

We walk through life looking for the good parts.

When we find them we revel in the all-encompassing joy we feel when life is in the flow and everything is working out our way. I am addicted to those moments and in constant search of them. They drive me each day.

However…we are spiritual beings having a human experience. When our human starts to surface it can get a little rough. We are here on this planet to learn to feel. Feel your way through life is what I tell people. The piece we often forget is we have a huge selection of emotions to choose from. Several of them I could do without. But spirit knows best and part of the deal is to feel them and learn about them.

sensitivity to the energy of her surroundings and other people. As an adult, Jodie wasn’t very aware of her intuitive gifts yet and enjoyed a career in radio sales and also executive recruitment. The Universe, however, had other plans for Jodie’s talents and began introducing her to numerous intuitive and psychic people– much to her disbelief and excitement she now is a profession full time psychic!

tion is to try something different. Move it out.

You will notice the more tools you have to move that energy the easier it is to move back into the flow.

Where we live and work also plays a huge part in our energy. Take a feel at your home.

Did you know our homes are meant to support our journey? Not hold it back. Some days we need to spend some time moving through and clearing energy from our home.

Open the windows, clean up, organize, play some music all sort of things can be done to support this space.

Surround yourself with reminders of the flow moments. Shift happens. But what I know and have had in my own experience is when energy moves, freedom happens. My wish for you is that you allow that hot shift to happen!

4Born in Duluth, MN, Jodie Harvala has always had a talent for creating dramatic events with powerful results and having fun while she doing so! As a child Jodie recalls a heightened

Does your space feel stuck or like walking through sludge? It could also be caused unseen energy blocks - blocks that are keeping you from the clear, easy, fun home that you want + deserve. Join Jodie's mailing list to get 6 ways to clear your space www.JodieHarvala.com.

A few concepts to try when life hits and Shift Happens: Journal and Burn. Take that paper and write ALL your feelings down- even the deep dark ones you don’t want to admit to. Those are the most important actually. Then take them outside and safely find a place to BURN them.

The release of that is amazing!

Breath, Meditate, Pray, Silence. All great choices- I group them together as each person has its own measure of inner peace. Just a few deep breaths can make all the difference when you’re in the middle of chaos.

By Jo

die H

arvala

Drive and communicate your issue to your vehicle. I have been known to yell, scream and cry it out. Then the good part……roll your window down and FEEL the energy swoop out the window!

Move. When energy moves freedom can happen. Walk, dance, run, yoga or any type of movement with your body can help move the energy OUT of your body so you can move through the shift.

The key is to move the energy. When we move the energy then we make room for the shift. Typically we fight that shift. We hold on, hold tight and keep that miserable feeling all to ourselves and swim in it. My recommenda-

Issue 1 | June 2013 - Revive

17

Finding Your Way When Your

Heart

Aches

In my work with clients, and by interviewing men and women who have transformed their lives after an experience with deep grief, I’ve noticed three key elements that make all the difference in how we move through life’s challenges.

Permission.

Give yourself permission to feel what you feel; permission to be as put together or as messy as you are on any given day at any given moment, without needing to change yourself or those around you. The moment you stop fighting yourself, or trying to change the way you’re feeling, is the moment change becomes possible.

This can look like taking a lot of deep breaths when you begin to feel emotional overwhelm.

It might involve learning to notice the voices in your head that want you to be happier, more together, over it already, different. Then when you hear them, telling yourself you don’t need to listen. It might mean repeating over and over and over again a phrase as simple as, “I’m allowed to feel this way.”

By Alana Sheeren

Being human means living through the days (or weeks, months, even years) when life seems hard. People leave, get sick or die. Dreams and families fall apart. We feel sad, angry, lost. We grieve, over big things and little ones, for good reasons and sometimes for no (apparent) reason at all.

If you’re lucky, you had a role model who showed you how to be okay with your big emotions. Or maybe you’re one of those rare people who are innately comfortable with feelings of all kinds. Most of us, however, have to slip-side our way through this tricky terrain, and at some point along the way, most of us think we’re doing it wrong.

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Acceptance.

Acceptance takes permission a step deeper.

There is an incredible amount of judgment around grief. It can come from cultural norms, from the people in your life, from yourself. One of the most painful thoughts when experiencing big emotions is “What’s wrong with me?”

Acceptance is an antidote to shame and guilt.

It takes time, effort and a healthy dose of love to find a place of acceptance, but it’s worth it.

Ending those internal battles frees up energy you can put toward taking care of your aching heart.

It’s my belief that everyone’s path through grief is her own and it might not seem pretty.

Looking at it from the outside might be hard for people that love you. As long as you’re not breaking any laws, or intentionally inflicting pain on others, trust that you can do this your way.

Acceptance involves asking for help when you need it and saying no when you don’t.

It’s about getting to know your patterns and listening to your inner wisdom. When you stop fighting with yourself, that kind, knowing voice inside is easier to hear.

Support.

While studying Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, researchers noticed what they began to call Post-Traumatic Growth. The human spirit is naturally resilient and turns toward transformation and wholeness the way a flower turns to the sun. Most of us end up on the growth side of the equation. One of the key deciding factors is having a support system. It doesn’t need to be a big community and it doesn’t have to be in person. Online friends or groups can be lifelines for those who feel isolated and alone in the real world.

What matters most is a sense of belonging.

It can be vulnerable to share your pain with someone if you’re not used to doing so, but letting people into your inner world strengthens most relationships. It’s a privilege and an honor to be shown the inside of someone’s heart. Sometimes we are able to choose our support people, at other times life chooses for us. Know that not everyone will be there for you, and allow yourself to lean on those who are.

It takes courage to keep a wounded heart open to life. Please trust that with the help of these three key elements, you will find y our way.

4Alana Sheeren is an emotional alchemist, deep conversation catalyst, energy healer, Kundalini yogi and proud mama of two children, a 5-year-old daughter and a stillborn son. Her unique blend of compassion, insight and expertise creates a warm, judgment-free space for deep exploration and self-realization.

If you are ready to STOP

reining yourself in and START living your life, your way while fearless flying your freak flag high and proud, join me for a free Juicy Goodness Infusion.

The Juicy Goodness Infusion

is 20 minutes of pure positive energy to help you identify what you need to clear out or embrace so you can live a life you love.

For more stories about and practices for living mindfully with grief, download the free e-guide, Picking Up the Pieces: thoughts on grief and growth at AlanaSheeren.com.

Leah Shapiro is a freedom fighter/self-love champion who helps free-spirited women fearlessly fly their freak flag and live a life they love.

STOP

letting fear, self-doubt, over analyzing & other people’s expectations get in your way!

Learn more here

http://leahshapiro.com/juicy-goodness-infusion/

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Be Still Unlock the Message of your Soul and

By Marita Rahlenbeck

like you’ve stepped off the life cycle and are just living your life from Do You feel a place of ambivalence?

Have you given up hope of ever arriving at a place within yourself where your heart sings no matter what is going on around you?

Let’s bring some life force back into your life! Let’s get you to a place of Hope, Confidence and Joy again so you can truly live the life of your dreams.

It’s so important to remember you are a spiritual being having a human experience. That said, we can get down to business and address that part of you that is struggling with the humanness of life. This undercurrent or dissatisfaction you are or may be experiencing is your Soul gently - or not so gently - pushing you to explore new things - things that may, or will, be out of your comfort zone, upbringing, way of living. You are being asked to Show Up in a different way.

I’m sure you’ve heard or read it many times: Be Still. Take the time to Be Still. Turn off the Noise - external noise - the radio, the television, the constant distraction of everything and everyone else but YOU. The key to unlocking the message of your Soul is hidden in the Stillness.

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Shhhhh.

That Still Small Voice has only love, gentleness and wisdom to give you.

Hear that? … Listen …

Isn’t that what you’ve been longing for?

It will be uncomfortable at first. There is stimulation everywhere - white noise in the workplace, TVs blaring in restaurants, airports, stores. Music in elevators, grocery stores and in your head. When you turn off the external noise, your internal dialogue will be a new voice that you’ve not heard in quite awhile - because you’ve been avoiding hearing what it has to say.

And, the love, gentleness and wisdom it gives you is from YOU, the true, rich part of you.

Go. Meet that part of you again. She’s been waiting for so long.

I am encouraging you to Listen. Listen to that internal dialogue AFTER the layer, or layers, that say, “Turn ON the music!” “Turn ON the news.” “DO something to turn OFF the Silence.”

The layer underneath the one begging for noise is the Still Small Voice waiting patiently for you to stop.

Just stop.

There are many ways to reacquaint yourself with the Soul of who you are.

• Meditation • Being in Nature • Dance • Art • Writing • Yoga • Retreating to a place of seclusion • Silent retreat (solitary retreat where there is no talking) • Allowing yourself to feel emotions you’ve been stuffing deep inside (yes, this may mean you will cry, yell, EMOTE) • Body work, such as massage

• Energy work, such as Reiki, Healing Touch or Higher Brain Living® • Hiring a professional who is equipped to work with you at the required level • This list is not conclusive This reacquaintance is not a one-time thing.

It is a process and is and will be part of your overall Journey. You will always be asked to go deeper. And in exchange, your life will blossom into something so rich and fulfilling you will find yourself wondering, “What took me so long?”

The answer, of course, is fear. Your current life with all its choices is what you know, are familiar with and can reference in your mind.

What’s on the other side of that fear? Well, you won’t know until you step into it. And through it.

The reason for the internal discontent has a purpose - and that is to teach you to let go. Let go with faith that you will be caught, guided and loved through the process.

Staying in the familiar just because it’s familiar, from my viewpoint, is not the best choice. Be a hero to yourself and risk giving up a life you know is not working and step into the Unknown. It is there your life will bloom into something that will cause your heart to Sing.

4Marita Rahlenbeck is a Gifted Intuitive, Soul Mentor and Licensed Higher Brain Living® Facilitator, bringing a long history of holistic, alternative wellness to her practice. In all Marita does, she sees from a higher perspective, meaning she looks at your challenges, opportunities, where you are and where you are going from the Soul’s viewpoint rather than the human viewpoint. She is available for sessions in person and remotely via Skype.

Marita offers a free Ten Minute Tune-Up where, together, you will look at where you are Quietly Unhappy, how it is impacting your life, and possible action steps and solutions. Click Here to take yourself one step closer to your Authentic Self.

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Lost lessons, from nature and the True North Elemental Compass

You Can’t Handle the

Truth!

Or can you?

Mother Nature thinks you can and so do I.

Not all tears are shed in vain, and not all suffering is evil. But don’t take my word for it—take nature’s. Why nature you might ask?

Well, I want you to think long and hard about this next question, “Who else has never, will never, and in fact is totally incapable of lying to you?”

The fact of the matter is we have been lied to, mislead and misinformed by our parents, by our teachers, by our politicians, religions and our history!

Let me give you just one example of this; after all who writes history? Why the winners, of course. Think about George Washington… our beloved first president and one of our founding fathers. Had we lost the war for independence, Mr. Washington would have been nothing more then a tiny footnote in British history remembered as a savage terrorist leader of a failed insurrection. And yet as winners, we remember him with love and reverence. I’m not suggesting that this is right or wrong; I just want to make you think about what we are taught and how we learn.

But would our parents, teachers and religions lie to us? (Notice I skipped politicians.)

Again, the answer is yes, but not necessarily lies of intent or malice, just the generational passing on of miss-information, theory or someone else’s agenda. We must remember who taught our parents? Where did they get their information? It wasn’t all that long ago when science taught us the world was flat, manned flight was impossible and women were not men’s equals!

By Bill Poett

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Now riddle me this, my new friend. We are living in the information age, however, if this information is all that valuable and accurate, would America really be suffering from an almost 40% obesity rate, a 50% divorce rate, a 70% college drop out rate and a business failure rate in excess of 80%? Is knowledge power? Is more, bigger, faster, really better?

Who can I trust? Where can I look for truth?

Why is there so much suffering in my life and in the world?

Again in the work and training I’ll be sharing with you, we will always turn to nature first for these answers, because nature is incapable of a lie.

If you’re reading this magazine, then odds are, you are no stranger to self-help books, websites and coaching. So let’s look at an exercise in truth and power that I use at all of my True North Compass Trainings. I’ll ask the audience how many of you have read Dr. Stephen Covey’s brilliant, best-selling book “The 7 Habits of a Highly Effective Person?”

Typically between 50-70% of my audience’s hands will go up. Now I’ll ask my audience, “how many of you can tell me all 7 habits?”

Universally, fewer than 10% of the hands go up! Why the disconnect? Why does life seem so difficult for so many people?

To share with you the answers to these questions and many more, is why I’ve chosen to contribute to Revive magazine. To help you discover and honor your Soul Purpose, to learn to walk your True North Path is why I have joined Kimberly’s team. As a fifty-one year old male, I am living in more passion, power, joy and peace than I ever dreamed was possible. I’ve spent thirty years as a seeker and through a long series of adventure, miss-adventures, tragedies and triumphs I’ve learned a thing or two, worth passing along. And so I hope you will join me on the greatest quest of all, the quest for your True North, your Soul Purpose your very reason for being.

If you’ll accept me as your guide I’ll show you exactly how to “Live and Love Fearlessly.” I’m looking forward to starting our adventure!

The only podcast and resource covering the lifestyle of women entrepreneurs. www.ladybusinessmedia.com | http://bit.ly/ladybizitunes CHECK IT OUT NOW!

To Advertise in the Next Issue E-mail:

reviveads@kimberlyriggins.com

4Host of Positively Speaking, creator of the Warrior-Heart Project and author of Live and Love Fearlessly and the acclaimed ABC’s for Peak Performers, Mr. Poett’s Soul Purpose is to guide and train you for yours. Bill is a former knife fighting close combat instructor with more than 30 years of experience working with individuals and teams for whom peak performance is literally a matter of life and death. To learn more about Bill and his True North Training Academy please visit him at www.billpoett.com or on Facebook.

To get started today, download your FREE Power Up Meditation. In less than nine minutes, you will be recharged, rejuvenated and reconnected to your source of true power, joy and self-expression.

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One is about going somewhere and one is about being in the moment.

“Going” is all about the future; “being” is about the present. They are both good and necessary for success and happiness in life. This is counterintuitive. One would think that if you are just kind of hanging around, smelling the flowers when you’ve got work to do, you’re not accomplishing much. But the opposite is true.

What would be the point of preparing for a future if there is no “now?” When the future comes, at what point in it do we stop and say, “Okay, we’re there!” Or don’t we?

On the other hand, if you only “are” then you’re

• Have someone to bounce ideas off of who will not rubber-stamp you • Be strong for you where you are weak • Allow you to shine where you are strong and be your best cheering section • Have amazing sex because for you, lady, sex is more than just scratching your itch Oh, and one more thing, maybe the most important: The potential is also there for you to learn your place on this Planet.

What do I mean by that? When we only talk to ourselves or our buds who echo us, we are not seeing ourselves from the perspective of the World. We are not seeing where we can do better and where we can be better. We are not working on making our weak points stronger or

Then you can discover who he is as he discovers you. Enjoy the process – and if you don’t, maybe it’s just an indication that he is not going to be the right one for you. That’s perfectly okay.

And even that, truthfully, has potential for your growth because by learning what works and clicks for you, you discover more about who you are. Notice, I said, “are.” Because as much as you have been moving forward your whole life, you still “are” someone. Isn’t that interesting?

That means that if you haven’t been comfortable just being in the moment, you haven’t discovered yourself, yet, either.

So, to round out the advantages of being in a relationship, you also have the potential to discover yourself.

What’s the difference between our work and our relationships?

By Dr. Deb Hirschhom

doing nothing toward a future and when the future arrives, you are totally unprepared for it.

Both the future and the here-and-now are necessary for life and happiness. They should work together. So why, then don’t they? Why are so many successful women unhappy with the state of their personal relationships?

Maybe it’s because just being with a man means opening oneself up to understanding who he really is. Deep as you dig, you will not find another “you” there. Everything you ever took for granted about how people “are” and how life “works” don’t apply to men. They are different.

I know, I know, you’ve been told that already.

And you realize that. You do. On some level, you’ve agreed that men don’t tick the way you and I do. But, see, that level isn’t a gut level; it’s the surface level. You don’t really “get” men.

Now, you have two choices, make the effort to get them – or don’t.

Here is what you gain from making that effort.

The potential is there to: • Acquire a true friend

healthier. But when we are in a relationship, we can find all that out. It may not be so pleasant.

Sometimes it’s downright awful to make these sorts of discoveries, but so what? Plow through that phase in order to grow.

Growing is like standing on a mountain and suddenly getting the most thrilling perspective of what your life is really all about. That’s what you get from a friend who would be unable to echo you because men just can’t even if they wanted to. Your friends may really, really try to not echo you but it’s hard for them not to since they’re gals. We just tend to think too much alike; we can’t help it.

And, funny thing, growing in this way will help us in all areas of our lives, including business.

When we can take a straight look at ourselves, warts and all, we will know what needs to be done to make things better and we can get right to work on it!

So how do you open yourself up to such a wonderful experience, the experience of a deep friendship that is much more than that, with a guy?

Be willing to just “be.” And allow him to “be.”

4Dr. Deb has been in the therapy field for over 35 years, always learning and growing herself while she innovated clinical programs, did research, and is proud to say she has been the catalyst for the personal transformation of many relationships. She has had numerous publications, both professional and for the public, and has appeared on TV and been featured on radio.

Dr. Deb likes challenges!

She also firmly believes that people want to heal and that they have within them the ability to do so.

To grab your copy of Dr. Deb's free book called Eighteen Signs Your Marriage Needs Help--and What to Do About It, click here.

Of course, it applies to ANY relationship.

Dr. Deb doesn’t pull punches and she doesn’t sweet talk in this book.

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The Daily

By Leah Shapiro

YUM! Do you know how freaking amazing you are?

Do you proudly fly your freak flag and hold it up for the world to see?

If your answer is “Hell Yes!” Woo-Hoo! I’m virtually high-fiving you right now.

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If your answer is “I wish,” you’re not alone!

Most women have no idea how freaking amazing they are, let alone proudly display it.

That’s why the self-help section at the book store is so big; we are totally disconnected from who we are and that special magic that we bring. This disconnect leads to wasting most of our lives trying to fix something that isn’t broken, when you’d be much better off celebrating everything that makes you, uniquely YOU! It’s not surprising. We live in a society that likes to create “sheeple.” Lots of money is made from the media making you feel like you’re not good enough the way you are.

You aren’t taught to recognize your own innate worth and beauty.

You ARE taught to focus on the lack; what needs to be fixed and where you don’t measure up. You spend your time trying to improve yourself rather than embracing what is already awesome about you and building your life around that.

Luckily there is a simple solution to this and I call it the Daily YUM! I created the Daily YUM to help my clients shift their focus from lack to freaking amazing. I wanted to teach them how to re-train their brain to focus on everything that feels good, works, and lights them up so they can truly see how freaking amazing they are and create a life that reflects it.

This work is important on a few different levels. The obvious one is that when you focus on all the stuff that feels good to you and everything that works, life feels better. Plus, the more you focus on what your strengths are and build your life around them, them more success you will have! There is way more time for fun and celebration!

On a more subtle level, where you focus your attention is reflected in your energy and what you’re attracting into your life. If you are constantly focusing on what you don’t like and isn’t working, and always noticing your flaws and where you don’t measure up; your energy is going to reflect that. You will attract more of that same dissatisfied energy into your life.

When you spend your time focusing on what is working and what you love about yourself and your life, your energy reflects that too.

You attract more of that juicy good energy back to you.

Which would YOU like more of?

The Daily Yum* is pretty simple. Start your

day thinking about three things you appreciate about your life. I invite you to get specific with this. Go into the details of WHY you appreciate _______. For example, rather than just saying “I appreciate my lover” dig deeper and go into some detail – “ I appreciate my lover’s gentle smile and how his eyes radiate love to me first thing in the morning.”

The details bring your appreciation to life and make it easier to actually feel the warm glow of that appreciation. Bask in those juicy good feelings for a bit (think kitty in a sunbeam).

Once you are in appreciation mode, move onto thinking about three things you appreciate about YOU. Don’t forget to go into the details. I know—it can be challenging. Lots of people get stuck on this part, you are not taught to do it. This is why it’s so important to practice!

You can do this in your head, but writing them down makes it more powerful, plus you get to look back over them when you are feeling the lack.

Please note—an appreciation practice is different than a gratitude practice. Appreciation and gratitude have different energies. Gratitude tends to be more outside of you—you are thanking someone else for allowing you to have something you didn’t expect or think you deserved. Appreciation is more about recognizing the beauty and your resonance with something. You see it for what it is, much like unconditional love. It’s very expansive and indicates alignment. It’s a powerful creative force.

Give the Daily YUM* a try and see what happens.

Dr. Deb

Transform your marriage even if you think it’s over Learn more at: drdeb.com

4Leah Shapiro is a fun loving, tattooed, freak-flag-flying mermaid who’s mission in life is to teach freespirited women entrepreneurs how to unleash themselves from all that crap that prevents them from shining bright and living a life they love. She does this via group programs (Unleash Yourself) and private coaching (Limitless You) She is also crazy for cupcakes and is known to be a mighty temptress. You can learn more about her and what she offers here.

Want to try the Daily Yum? Download a copy of the same practice Leah offers clients here. Try it out for a few weeks and notice how you feel. * Warning- Extreme Happiness is a well-known side effect of doing the Daily YUM!

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rorriM Mirror What Do The Men You Date & Love Say About You?

By Jenn Burton

Frequently I ask my single clients to stretch themselves romantically in ways that feel uncomfortable. And it is true I require them to approach men and romance in a way that is completely foreign to most modern day women.

Why? Because I am teaching single women that ultimately, their romantic outcome is dependent solely upon themselves.

But let’s take this a step further.

In ’06, as I started my amazing and maddening dating adventures, I had to learn to roll with the romantic opportunities the universe was dealing to me.

Now, I just said that your romantic outcome is dependent solely upon you, which is counter-intuitive to rolling with what the universe gives you.

Or is it?

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I want you to imagine for a second that everything that is happening around you is something that you attracted into your life as you go on this journey.

Now, I want you to think of all the men in your life, (even the short encounters), as mirrors that reflect different parts of the woman you are.

Tell me... what do the mirrors say?

• Are they winking at you, saying what you are doing is definitely working?

• Are they telling you with their silence that you still don’t believe anyone really will love and adore you - or even hear you?

• Are they telling you that you spend too much time worrying about what men think of you, instead of focusing on yourself?

• Could they be shouting that you are uber-uncomfortable with being adored by men?

• Are they telling you that you are ready, because love is yours for the taking?

One of the most powerful tools during my

dating adventures was my understanding that I was creating and attracting everything that was happening with me. When I used this lens to understand men rather than trying to figure out what was going on in their heads... my world shifted, the skies parted, and magic happened. I’m not kidding... magic happened.

Why? BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE CONSPIRES FOR YOUR ROMANTIC BLISS, IF YOU ARE WILLING TO LIVE YOUR LIFE CELEBRATING AND APPRECIATING WHAT LIFE GIVES YOU. So how do you celebrate and appreciate what life gives you, when life is handing you heartache, crappy encounters with men, being overlooked, and so on?

By finding the lesson/opportunity in the situation.

Common Lessons/Opportunities: 1. Sometimes, things have to be torn to rubble and cleared in order to build what you

really want, including relationships.

2. The universe will keep giving you what you have put up with in the past, until you set a permanent boundary of “no more!” with your actions, not your words.

3. If someone has walked out of your life, does that mean you should pretend you have no feelings about the situation? No, absolutely not.

But there is an opportunity/lesson. A) You get to be the hottest woman that has ever grieved in the history of womankind. (Have a funeral, dress to the nines in all black for the week, have some fun with your pain.)

(BTW... I really am good at this, and you can be, too!) B) As you start focusing on yourself again and having fun, this is the best place to meet someone new or start over again with him. Women who prioritize their physical & emotional self-care in conjunction with enjoying their life are undeniably mesmerizing.

4. If you keep meeting the same kind of man, then you need to start playing outside your normal sandbox. (I can’t tell you how many women that I have helped with this that have gone on to have amazing results.)

5. If you feel a little dead on the inside, understand that a new romantic interest is only a temporary fix. It’s time for you to get busy pursuing things outside of the romantic box. Do you have a hobby you used to love, but you don’t do it anymore because you let life get in the way? Well, now’s the time to start it up again. Is there something you have always wanted pursue but it didn’t fit in to your 5 year plan? You get the idea.

Celebrating, appreciating, and understanding the mirrors gifted to you by the men in your life is crucial to developing the kind of romantic life that you are craving, even if it doesn’t seem to make sense or feels a little ‘woo-woo’ to you.

You can start by creating a list of your relationships and romantic encounters in the last five years. Write down what happened, what you learned about yourself, and the gifts that you received from this encounter or relationship. These will tell you how you are feeling about yourself romantically right now, and you can decide accordingly how to proceed with your insight. Although I highly recommend turning your insight into incredible dating adventures.

4Jenn Burton is the Dating & Romance Mastermind/Romantic Fairy Godmother of HaveHimYourWay.com. After years of dysfunctional relationships & crappy dating experiences she decided to take matters in her own hands. Jenn developed a method to help women create the most incredible dating adventures while learning how to go from feeling ignored to absolutely adored. Now she exclusively works with single women who want it all career, success, to be loved, adored & romanced... but who are willing change up the status quo in dating.

Click Here to learn how to go from ‘Ignored to Absolutely Adored’ in 26 mins.

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Our connections

with our partners and loved ones are among the most nourishing gifts in our lives. It’s fun to invest a little energy into polishing up those connections, and that investment pays huge dividends.

Here are three simple yet powerful connection enhancers:

Go Deep Create more intense connection with your partner by being more present and feeling more deeply in the little everyday things you do together. For example: • Give a 30-second kiss when you say goodbye or hello.

• Take a moment to really appreciate your partner’s kindness as you thank them for something.

• Imagine you’ve been apart for a long time or been afraid something had happened to your partner. Let the flood of love and gratitude deepen your presence and connection.

As you deepen the sensations and your attention, you’ll find the connection growing deeper and sweeter, too.

Three Surprising Ways to Enrich Your Connection

By Michele Lisenbury Christensen

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Enjoy Yourself Without even realizing it, we can often show up grumpy with our partners or other loved ones and expect the relationship to help us be happier. I help my clients love themselves well and come to their partners already happy, relaxed, and playful. When they do, they find they get MORE love, affection, and connection, even though they might need it less.

Some good ways to make sure you’re in a pleasurable space: • Imagine slipping into a negligee…

EMOTIONALLY. Before you go into your partner’s presence, go and deliberately shift gears. Go to the bathroom.

Wash your hands, thinking, “shifting gears into soft, happy, mellow mode…”

Or use your own terms. Freshen your lip-gloss if that’s your thing. Get happier and more chill.

• Change states. Imagine you’re about to go on vacation. Or that you’re already there. Drop into celebration and relaxation.

• Build in sensual delights that make you happy: good food and drink, fun or soothing music, fresh flowers.

Let the pleasure and joy lead you deeper into your relationship today.

Approve, Unconditionally Disapproval has become such a pervasively accepted way of motivating ourselves and others that you may not see how often you use it. Criticizing our partners, our children, and ourselves is like second nature. Rather than just asking for what we want, we tack on irritation and character assassination for good measure: We say “You’re always so slow” rather than “I’m worried we’ll be late.

Will you please make sure to be ready in 5 minutes?” Or we might say, “You never pick up your socks! If I didn’t pick up after you, this place would be a pigsty!” when without the disapproval, it’d sound more like, “I need more help in getting the laundry to the basket. Can we agree that I’ll wash everything in the basket but nothing that’s not?”

simply approve, even when we don’t like a behavior or quality.

Remember: disapproving of the quality didn’t actually change it! By approving unconditionally, we make more room for connection, and in fact, more room for change, because we reduce defensiveness. And when we stop disapproving we can ask for a change very lightly, just the same way we might ask for an extra napkin at a restaurant. For instance: • “Honey, would you please call me if you’re going to be late? If I haven’t heard from you by 6, we’ll start dinner then.” rather than “You take me for granted!

You never call when you’re going to be late!”

• “I would so love for us to go to dinner and a show. Would you arrange that for this Saturday, please?” vs. “You never take me out.”

• “It hurts my feelings when you don’t look up from your papers when I arrive home. Would you please make time to connect with me?” instead of “You’re a workaholic. You get lost in your stuff and nothing else matters to you.”

Notice what you really want, ask for that, and remove the judgment and disapproval. Then, watch the magic happen as your loved ones’ responses change profoundly.

As you Go Deep, Enjoy Yourself, and Approve Unconditionally, may you reap the rewards of intimacy, ease, and joy in all your relationships.

4Michele Lisenbury Christensen instigates everyday sensuality using yoga, brain science, and candid tales of personal trials and triumphs. In the past 15 years, she’s co-crafted a playful smokin’ 12+ year marriage, had two happy kids, and been trusted advisor to more than 2000 couples, business owners, and corporate leaders. Toe-curling pleasure on a daily basis gives Michele rocket-fuel to serve and scintillate clients and readers at www. hotloverevolution.com.

To get instant access to “The 10 Myths About Monogamy That Are Crushing Your Joy (The Turned On Monogamy Workbook),” CLICK HERE

If Online Dating Isn’t Fun, You Are Doing It Wrong...

It’s true that the disapproving overtone adds an air of urgency to our requests. The problem is, criticism and disapproval aren’t actually motivating, and they destroy the sense of safety people want to feel with us. The connection deepens immediately when we

www.Erresistibility.com

Issue 1 | June 2013 - Revive

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H

ave you ever wondered why it feels so darn easy to connect with your girlfriends and be fully understood while secretly (or overtly) wishing that your man could develop their same depth in communications skills?

If you have, you’re not alone and I trust that you’ll find the next few sentences a breath of fresh air that can inject an immediate dose of love and understanding into your intimate relationship.

Because this is a subject that could easily cover a few dozen books, it would be impossible to offer a master course in communicating from the heart in this brief article; however, I do want to share a couple of uncommon “secrets” that can cause a significant shift (for the better) in how you and your man interact.

Secret #1: All Men Are Really Grown Up Boys What do I mean? Most of us (men) have grown up following a utopic ideal of what it really means to be a man without necessarily learning the emotional resources necessary to achieve balance.

This usually means we’ve valued having a strong sense of direction, an ability to conquer and grow through breaking through obstacles and an almost irrational need to do the right thing (even those times when we have no clue as to what the right thing is).

Most men have been taught (through example and experience) that vulnerability equals pain and that the way to show strength is through being right. What this ultimately translates to, is that most men have a hard time opening up emotionally not to mention understanding emotional subtleties that make a HUGE difference to you as a woman.

How to use this to your advantage?

First and foremost use compassion, know that at the heart of most men (at least the ones that are worthy of your time and love) lays a willingness to serve you deeply, but to do so men must understand the rules of the game.

Specifically, you can help your man by making an effort to say what you mean more often. While it’s true that a girlfriend would understand the- Issue difference between Revive 1 | June 2013 the times

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Two Uncommon Secrets to Communicate With Your Man if You Really Want Him to “Get it”

By Bernardo Mendez when you say, “I don’t want to talk about it” and you really mean “I do, but I’m hurt so please guide me to get it out of me” vs. when you really don’t want to talk about it, your man most likely doesn’t have the same emotional skillset to decipher between these two.

Saying what you mean can be difficult at times especially if you have a subconscious rule that says “If he really loved me, he would know what I mean” but let me assure you that love is not the reason why he doesn’t know. He really just doesn’t get it. Try this a few times: when you feel about to drop him a clue, reveal the full mystery instead and you will find that he is much more likely to respond in a way that serves your heart.

Secret #2: Men Flourish Through Challenge While Women Flourish Through Praise When was the last time you saw a couple of guys asking each other if their butts looked too big? Probably never, why is this? At its core masculine essence carries within it the

force of certainty and gets stronger through challenge, while feminine essence carries the flow of uncertainty and grows more radiant through praise.

You can tell a man that you love him once and if he’s fully centered in his masculine essence this would probably be good enough (at least for a long time), while a woman who is connected to her feminine essence needs and wants to hear this “all the time.” Now, being the bright creatures that we are, most of us men, assume that you are just like us and that constantly reminding you of how beautiful you are, how much we love you and how great you look, is not really necessary.

How to use this to your advantage?

Whenever you catch your man praising you, let him know in no uncertain terms how much you adore it. In other words, make a bigger deal than you normally would through your words, your intensity and through your most irresistible weapon (aka your sensuality). When your man gets how important this

concept of praising you is at an emotional level, not just intellectually, when he realizes how much you light up when he reminds you of your awesomeness, he’ll do whatever it takes to repeat this behavior because this is part of his lifetime conditioning.

An important distinction on this topic is that although men grow stronger through challenge, your man does not want this challenge to come from you. Reinforcing the good in your man is a much more powerful strategy than nagging at your man. When you criticize your man (especially in public), unlike the times when another man criticizes him, he doesn’t take it as a challenge to grow, he feels like he ultimately failed you and that is the surest way to get him to close off rather than open up.

4Bernardo Mendez is a lover of life whose mission is helping women reconnect back to their hearts, cut the painful game of staying stuck in a story, and crack open to really love and be loved with devotion and infinite passion. Bern has actively been helping others break through their own limitations, addictions and pain for over twenty years (which makes him feel kind of old at times). He lives in Austin, TX with his gorgeous wife and two amazing sons.

This kind of change is not only more sustainable but also feels more powerful for both of you.

We are going to debunk the myths around one the most taboo topics: M O N E Y

To Advertise in the next issue of Revive contact: reviveads@kimberlyriggins.com

Am I saying you should never criticize your man?

No, but what I am saying is that if you’re smart, you’ll figure out a way to catch him doing things right and reinforce those times again and again and then he will naturally feel like serving you on his own instead of through external pressure.

Coming this Fall

If you are ready for some No B.S. relationship advice and a 3-part video course called “How To Guide Your Man To Worship You With Desire, Presence & Strength,” Click Here.

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

When you start to step into who you REALLY are you start pissing people off and it just happened to me.

The other day, I received an email from a woman who said she loves my joy and knowledge but just couldn’t make it through an entire video blog. She was having a hard time figuring out why... then it hit her. She said my voice was loud and “drilling.” She then suggested I tone it down in my videos...

Oh, and she ended it with “sorry if that hurt.”

and I know I’m outspoken (my mouth has gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past). So I hid this part of my personality for a long time because I was afraid of being judged.

which is why I am sharing this story with you right now.

Then after some great advice from a coach, I said screw it, and I let ALL of ME shine in my videos, unforgivingly. It felt AWESOME. I still get emails to this day from women thanking me for just being real.

Can you make the promise to me right now?

That you will be YOU no matter who is watching or who is judging, or who is feeling threatened, will you just be yourself?

Being me meant connection...and in some cases it means pissing some people off, and that’s okay. I am not meant to be everyone’s friend, and neither are you.

But not you, right?

It feels so freeing to just shine, and if “Helga” starts yapping follow these four steps: 1. Notice it’s HELGA talking, not your true self.

As I was reading the email, my intuition was speaking loudly to me, saying, “Nichole, be YOU. You are energetic, yes you are loud, but embrace it, don’t tone it down... This has nothing to do with you.”

So on that day when my self-esteem was quickly making its way into a deep puddle, I reached out to my clients. And asked them to give me their honest feedback if they thought I should tone it down.

2. Seek support. A friend, colleague, family member, whoever; just DO NOT isolate. When you isolate you are letting “Helga” win (and I know you don’t want that.)

But wouldn’t you know, a few minutes later my inner critic (who’ve I named Helga) reared her ugly head, telling me she is right, I do need to tone it down.

The response? It was more than I could ever imagine. They all reassured me “NO, NO, NO - do not tone it down!!!” The love-filled comments came pouring in one after another.

Tears started streaming down my face.

3. Listen to your inner wisdom; what is the TRUTH in the situation.

My self-esteem started to plummet. You see, this is something I have struggled with since starting my coaching business. I know I have a ton of energy and can be overly enthusiastic,

I was beyond happy. It felt so incredible to be accepted just the way you are (flaws and all). Something I know many don’t feel,

e r A

u o y

g n i s s i p e l p peo ? f f o n

4. Screw’ em. A part of being YOU, 100% means you will piss people off. Be okay with that. I know the people pleaser in you is freaking out right now, but if you want to live a life full of freedom, adventure, and joy you’ll be okay with not making every, single person happy.

Shine on sister.

4Weight Loss Mindshift Mentor: Nichole Kellerman is a coach, speaker, and weight loss revolutionary. Her company, Successful Weight Loss School is for women who want to stop dieting, reshape their bodies and feel wildly alive. Her teachings are like nothing you’ve ever heard.

She teaches you how to party with life, so you can lose weight for good! No meal plans, restrictions, or treadmills. Just lots of FUN! To play with Nichole visit her main site http:// NicholeKellerman.com.

lerma

B

le Kel y Nico

Want to learn more strategies to feeling amazing in your life and body? Sign up for Nichole's Party With Life & Lose Weight For Good SUCCESS KIT. Her proven strategy to have more fun and drop unwanted weight.

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It seems we are always waiting.

Waiting for an answer, a sign, a change of circumstance (more money, time, clients, experience, confidence, etc.).

And there are millions of women in our world who are waiting until their body is thinner or firmer, or until they have kicked sugar or until they have lost that weight or finally stopped overeating. Perhaps you are one of them, as I once was.

Yes, I know intimately of this “weighting game,” having walked through a 20-year journey with emotional eating and bulimia, all the while putting my deepest desires and dreams on hold until I fixed my problem.

Because only then, I imagined, could I finally be “the real me.” That’s when I would finally earn the permission to eat what I like, to go after my dreams, to have a healthy relationship, and to show up fully in my business.

That’s when I could finally accept myself.

And I see this all the time in my work as a food psychology coach, former image consultant and fitness instructor. I’ve seen women demonstrate a tangible longing to be free from their food and weight challenges, yet they refuse to create the space for themselves to get support, putting the perceived needs of their partners, children, bills or careers far before their own.

I’ve talked to countless women who were eager to learn how to dress themselves in a way that made them feel confident, powerful and energized, but they wouldn’t allow themselves that gift until they lost 10 or 20 pounds.

And in my entrepreneurial circles, I see women with amazing gifts and talents, with brilliant ideas and dreams, holding themselves back, shying away from opportunities to be seen and heard, because of the shame they feel about their bodies. In other words, I see them putting the fulfillment of their life purpose on hold…Until.

It’s time to stop making our happiness and our dreams contingent upon some future condition, and stop depriving ourselves of countless possibilities to experience fulfillment today.

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

The Weighting Game

In Order to Win You Must Refuse to Play

By Michelle Leath

It’s no wonder we feel undernourished and turn to food! And compounding the issue is the fact that this constant state of waiting, withholding and depriving actually creates physiologic stress conditions that perpetuate excess weight, food cravings and overeating.

The weighting game itself creates more weight.

But there’s good news as well. Studies show that choosing to be happy now, choosing to have the experiences you’ve been putting off “until” you fix your body, is actually the pathway to lasting weight loss and freedom from compulsive eating.

You see, our happiness doesn’t come from some attainment of some external goal; it comes from an internal condition. The journey informs the destination. When you choose to experience what you’ve been waiting for now, life lightens up. You lighten up.

What no longer serves falls away. This was certainly true for me.

And one thing I came to realize was that what I had really been waiting for was permission.

Permission to eat. Permission to live. Permission to feel the way I feel, desire the things I desire,

and speak the truth of my heart. Permission to be me, as me, today.

I believe that if you struggle with food or your body, that complicated relationship is a mirror. Not something you need to fix, but simply a reflection your relationship with yourself. It’s a barometer for your capacity to accept nourishment, both from your plate and from your life when you step away from the table. And it’s a powerful indicator of how much permission you are willing to allow yourself.

One of the reasons I waited so long is that I had forgotten that I actually have the authority to grant my own permission. It took a mentor coming alongside me to help me access it. But you can start today.

So what permission have you been waiting for? Would you like to eat foods you enjoy without guilt? Would you like to move your body in ways that delight rather than punish you? Do you want to do nice things for your-

self regardless of your current shape? Do you want to share your message with the world and be seen for who you are, as you are, right now?

If you are ready to unlock your possibilities around the body, life and business of your dreams, you can begin with one powerful question: “What is the permission I need to give myself today?” And then grant it.

4Michelle Leath is a coach, mentor, speaker, and the founder of UnlockYourPossibility. com. She teaches women how to release unwanted weight and eating habits; break free of dieting and deprivation; and build a relationship with food, their bodies and their lives that truly nourishes them. Drawing on wisdom from her own 20-year journey through bulimia, Michelle guides women a playful yet deeply meaningful way, so they can step into a life of possibility, pleasure and purpose.

Free Gift Audio: “5 Secrets of Free & Empowered Eaters” Ever wondered what it’s like inside the mind of a woman who has no “issues” with food or weight? In this audio, discover the mindsets and the metabolism-igniting secrets that will help you create lasting freedom with food and a body that you love! Click here to download.

Jodie Harvala

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A one hour session will give you clarity on the lessons and challenges you’re working on and create a plan to help you move through this period of your life. We can talk big picture or really concrete, detailed plans.

You’ll leave our session with: Super useful tools that will help you connect with Spirit on your own. A different perspective on the challenges you’re facing. A new sense of freedom. A big dose of pride - you were brave enough to look at the shadows and bring them into the light!

Most importantly?

You’ll walk away from our session with a new awareness of the life you’re being led to live and a plan to make it happen. $125 per person Contat me at: Jodie@JodieHarvala.com or visit my website www.JodieHarvala.com

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Radical Resting

By Grace Quantock

Doing is easy, although it doesn’t seem like it.

When you are pouring over the laptop for hours until a fire burns in your spine and you have a tension in your jaw that just won’t ease, doing nothing seems like the ultimate luxury.

And you will get to your bed, just after you finish this awkward bit of code, reply to those emails, jot down a plan for the newsletter tomorrow and tweet to promote your next class and, and, and….

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

Work isn’t the hard part.

So you see, over working is easy, but allowing, that’s the hard part.

Often when we over work, really underneath it all we are scared and we are running, moving, working, flying, furiously, just as fast as we can.

It’s running on a high wire - risky, and what will happen when we stop?

Tapped out or trusting?

Action has bravado to it. Resting is trusting.

When we rest we are saying that we value ourselves and the worth we offer in the world is more than the latest social media app.

When we rest we are trusting that creating the space will allow what we want to be drawn to us, rather than being out there, hunting down our dreams, dead or alive.

When we rest we are paying dividends into our reserves and resources that we will reap in joy.

Our world treats stress as value. We link doing to being needed, important and meaningful.

Joy needed.

Living is not synonymous with doing.

We rarely talk about rest in wellness. We talk about exercise, yoga, green juice, our morning run, healing that we feel is effective and promotes productivity.

I love herbal teas including rose, lime blossom, lemon balm, orange blossom, cinnamon, jasmine blossom, blackberry leaf, and rooibos among others. Brew up.

Set Up Space Plan some space into the day and then ask yourself what you want to do in it.

Plan it into your schedule like an appointment; it is an important appointment with You. You may want to walk down the road, eat some cherries, read a childhood book, go to bed for 20 minutes, rub your feet. Do it, release the guilt and enjoy.

Expand into the space.

(Ad)Venture Outside Go outside, and get some fresh air, and hopefully some sunlight, for a break. You could take your tea, or meditation practice out there too.

Enjoy the increase in oxygen. Often we spend too much time in air conditioned or closed window places and do not have enough oxygen and this makes us sleepy and grumpy.

Even on a grey day things are often nicer outside than you think, wrap up and enjoy the – we are going to call it fresh and bracing rather than cold – weather!

You are too important not to give yourself time to re-charge. I am wishing you rejuvenation.

Sweet Sleep If you can nap in the day without messing up your sleep patterns, try it. It may seem silly at the start but lots of people take power naps and find them so refreshing.

Try lying down properly with a pillow, blanket and an eye bag. Set a timer and relax into the space you have created for yourself. Feel the aches and exhaustion you have been carrying lifting while you rejuvenate and heal.

You can put your worries in a box outside of the room and collect them after your rest.

Now is the time for sleep.

4Grace Quantock is a wellness provocateur, writer and founder of Healing Boxes CIC and Sick Chick to Trail Blazer.

She teaches women to live well, whatever their challenges and lives in Wales where she sends Sparkle Reiki and Soul Detox magic worldwide.

Join the Trail Blazers’ Movement by signing up to the newsletter at sickchicktotrailblazer.com and follow Grace on Twitter @grace_quantock.

Want to get relaxation rehabilitation? Sign up now for Grace's Trail Blazing Times Newsletter to get a free Mindfulness Meditation MP3 to kick-start your resting revolution!

Do you know what really promotes productivity? Sleep.

I know you can’t snooze on the job, but I also know that rest is a severely neglected healing tool and you need to incorporate in into your wellness routine.

Four Easy, Effective Ways to Bring In Radical Rest Today: Herbal Helpers We can use herbal teas to great effect to rest.

Relaxing with a cup of tea is a classic restful activity; we are just turning up the wellness quotient a little.

Before using herbs it is essential to check that they will not interfere with medications/other conditions/pregnancy.

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Before you read on, take a moment to look around you.

How is your desk? Is it covered in piles of paper, unread articles, “to-do” piles, unpaid bills? Are you surrounded by unfinished projects?

Or is it neat and tidy, with everything in its place?

Look up and check out the rest of the room, the rest of your personal space?

How does it make you feel?

Did you know that the state of your physical environment actually contributes in quite a large way to your energy levels?

Life is M essy But You C an Still Choo se OHappy

It also affects your clarity of thought and your ability to be resilient. This, in turn, affects your health and well-being.

When we are surrounded by clutter, including reminders of failed relationships and things we are just hanging onto out of a sense of guilt or obligation we feel physically more tired. Our motivation and our energy are lowered and we can literally feel ‘stuck.’ And sadly, we are actually preventing what we really want from coming into our lives!

Don’t despair! Keep reading.

This isn’t about judgment and I’m really not trying to make you feel worse. I want you to know that you can create a space that makes you feel good and supports your health and well-being. And you can start right now!

Here’s how: 1. Get yourself a pen and a piece of paper and get up and walk through the area you are ready to tackle. You pick where you would like to begin, whether at home or at work.

2. Begin writing two lists: • The cluttered areas that are causing you the most grief (be honest with yourself-no one else has to see this) • A “to-do” list of actions that will make you feel better Breaking the task into manageable portions will go a long way to getting you started in your clutter-clearing.

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Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013

By Jacqueline Fairbrass

Tip: Don’t take on your whole house or apartment in one go—you’ll feel overwhelmed and quit. When deciding where to start pick a small project that is manageable and also watch out for the emotional attachment trap.

For example, you could start with an underwear drawer—throw out the old ones, and create space for the new, or a kitchen countertop is a good neutral place to begin. As you feel good about clearing clutter you will be ready to tackle projects with greater emotional attachment.

Set yourself up for success! Plan a time to begin, whether it’s right now or book an appointment with yourself.

Gather some boxes and label them as follows: • Donate • Sell • Garbage • Recycle • Return to rightful owner (oops!)

The idea is to sort directly into these boxes, so that you do not end up with just more piles

of stuff on the floor or worse still, all over the bed!

Tip: Make the task more palatable by playing your favorite CD, or my personal favorite, the reward system. I book myself a time to work and then I allow myself time afterwards to do something fun!

Allow yourself to have your feelings! Sometimes clearing clutter can be like a trip down memory lane. Take time to journal or pick up the phone and chat with a friend and then let go and let the good stuff come in.

Clearing clutter and getting the energy flowing back in our lives makes us feel absolutely fabulous!

The more you do, the more you will want to do, as it feels so good to let the energy flow around us again. Feel great about taking a box of stuff you no longer use to the local thrift store and imagine how it will help someone else’s life. Enjoy the recycling process. Letting go of clutter is an energizing experience!

Tip: Remember, the clutter didn’t all arrive overnight, so be gentle and caring with yourself and allow yourself time to take on these projects. Your energy will increase and you will actually find yourself looking forward to your next clutter-clearing appointment.

And the final step is maintenance. Begin to establish routines in your life that support being organized.

Simple steps might be to always do the dishes before you go to bed. You will feel so much better when you start the day walking into a clean kitchen, and your day will begin on a positive note.

Well, I am feeling inspired to tackle my desk!

I’ve been procrastinating, and as I look at it now, it will take me maybe half an hour tops to get it back on track.

And finally for today, here’s a book I recommend: Karen Kingston’s Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui.

Feeling STRESSED, OVERWHELMED, FRUSTRATED, and DISORGANIZED? I've got you covered, whether you need planners & toolkits to help creatives get shit done, some hands on project wrangling, or just a lil bit of sass and a kick in the pants.

www.bombchelle.com/revive

Head on over to to learn more & grab some free goodies!

Choose Happy and get your life back on track.

4Jacqueline Fairbrass is the Happiness Coach & Licensed Hypnotherapist at Feeling Absolutely Fabulous.

This now dazzling diva of Happiness was a young woman who grew up in a toxic and dysfunctional home.

She had low self-esteem, was withdrawn and depressed. Jacqueline turned her life around and for the past 20 years has been teaching others how to make healthy, holistic and happy choices. Her greatest joys include spending time with her daughters and grand-babies, eating good chocolate and she always has a cup of tea nearby.

Want to learn how you can choose happy?

Click here to download Jacqueline's Fabulous Top Tips to Choose Happy and an MP3 guided relaxation.

The second issue of Revive Magazine is coming your way this Fall.

We are going to debunk the myths around one the most taboo topics:

MONEY

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Find Your Bullshit Story

2

Confess/Confirm Your Desires

What are you core limiting beliefs?

What is your root story? The one that every event can be distilled down to?

What do you want? Be? Do? Have?

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Listen to Your Body

A clear body leads to a clearer mind – diet, exercise, self-care routine

6

Practice being in joy/pleasure

ACTION…start living the way you desire, create boundaries, be present, have more fun, love because you can

7

Believe You Are Enough & Live in Your Worthiness

5

Enjoy your life. Do something amazing with it, accept and embrace all of yourself, own your brilliance!

Detach from your bullshit story & Tame Your Inner Critical Bitch Recognize when your story presents itself, practice transmuting your energy, recognize what your inner critical bitch says, how she loops you back to your story

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STRENGTH. HOPE. COURAGE. Find insight, stories, tips, and heartfelt emotions from unique women who have already found their own power, including best-selling authors, entrepreneurs making change in their industries, and visionaries whose missions revolve around serving others.

Preorder today Click Here 44

Revive - Issue 1 | June 2013