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REVOLT
IN STYLE
PUBLISHER & EDITOR IN CHIEF
BRIAN TERHORST brian@revoltsd.com
CO-PUBLISHER & MUSIC EDITOR
LESLIE KROUSE leslie@revoltsd.com
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR
BETH ACCOMANDO beth@revoltsd.com
SURF EDITOR
AARON GOULDING aaron@revoltsd.com
SKATE / SNOW LIAISON
MICHAEL STEFAUN
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
TAFF DAVIES ERIC HENDRIKX ANDREW SMITH SHAWN GREEN ANDREW URBANEK ALEX TOLHURST
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS
VIDEO PRODUCTION INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY ADVERTISING
AARON GOULDING ERIC HENDRIKX Michael Regala BRIAN BAYBUTAS ALEXANDER WEGNER BRYAN QUESADA Laurent Kramer LESLIE KROUSE BLAIR ROBB BO CROSS TIM DITTY ERIC RAMIREZ NICK JONES revolt@revoltsd.com
CONTACT INFO PHONE: 858.488.8730 EMAIL: revolt@revoltsd.com SOCIAL NETWORKS: facebook/revoltinstylemag twitter@revoltinstylesd www.revoltinstyle.com SNAILMAIL: P.O. BOX 9771 SAN DIEGO CA 92169
Copyright 2010 by Revolt Magazine LLC. All rights reserved. ANY Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. That would be bad & we would have to sic our mongrel dog lawyers on your punk ass, so don’t do it. Revolt Magazine and Revolt In Style are a registered trademark of Revolt Magazine LLC. Made in the USA
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On The Cover
Scott Chandler - SUP In Style by Tim Ditty Inset Images PowerBalance Team Rider Jeromy Hansen & Runway Model at ASR - By Aaron Goulding
in this issue
ten on 10 - pg 10 publisher’s note - pg 11 mother earth news - pg 12 asr new product - pg 14 asr runway - 16 hot properties - 18 il padrino - 20 sports zone - 22 RSSS 4.0 wrap-up - 27 scott chandler - 30 us open of surfing - 32 maloof money cup - 34 x games 16 headlines - 36 redbull flugtaag - 38 evangelista ‘cyborg’ santos - 40 paramore - 42 san diego music awards - 43 music reviews - 44 campus noise - 45 machete - 46 movie reviews - 47 gaming reviews - 48 ‘scopes - 52
Chas Chidester on his way to 1st place - Pro Am division final event of the 2010 RSSS 4.0 at Crystal Pier photo by Aaron Goulding WWW.REVOLTINSTYLE.COM 9
TOP MODEL
TEN ON 10
PRESENTED BY
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Model - Danielle Ruiz Swimwear - L Space Photographer - Aaron Goulding
JUST SAYIN’...
PUBLISHER’S NOTE Greetings from REVOLT IN STYLE “The warmest Winter I ever spent was a Summer in San Diego” “What do Cher & San Diego have in common?” “Neither one is f***king Sunny” “The Summer that never was...” Yeah, Yeah. we’ve heard it all. I think after twenty five years living here in San Diego, I would be ok with one crappy summer. Well...now that I think about it, there was that summer of ‘99... that was pretty dank and gloomy. But, you know what? I am OK with it! We’ve all heard the complaints...silly jokes...constant whining from tourists and locals alike. Get over it people! San Diego RULES! Don’t let a mellow summer ruin your outlook on the finest city on the planet! We still had a blast this summer & now the tourists are going home. It’ll heat up again. Meanwhile we can all enjoy empty beaches, vacant surf breaks & short lines at Roberto’s. The three events that Revolt In Style really needed to be warm and sunny, this summer, were. Yesss. All three events of the Revolt Summer Surf Series Pro Am were graced with blue skies, warm days & cool waves. Take a look inside for some sweet photos by Aaron Goulding from our rockin’ little surf comp. Actually, not so little anymore! We are now producing the largest Pro Am in San Diego. Up to 150 surfers at any one event. This season’s turnout was unprecedented with surfers from all over the world showing up to compete with San Diego’s finest surfers. We want to thank all the parents that loaded up their groms & made it down to every one of our events this summer. Your support is not taken lightly. Some of the kids have been with us for all four seasons. We watch them surf as groms, get better, grow up and come back the next year and surf in the Juniors division. Likewise Juniors grow and advance to the Pro Am. How cool is that? They grow up so fast...*snif...Leslie gets all choked up...I think it’s cool. We really do appreciate it. Thank you all! Congrats to Eric McHenry for another RSSS Championship title. That makes it three in a row. Believe you me...Eric is the most gracious & humble champion we have ever met. A HUGE thanks to our staff & all of our sponsors that helped us make this, our fourth year, the best yet. Nothing but smiles & great memories. See you all next year! Peace B&L
930 Market Street, Downtown, San Diego, CA 619-677-BOWL (2695) WWW.BOWLEVT.COM Photo by Aaron Goulding
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ENVIRONMENT
MOTHER EARTH NEWS REVOLTING DEVELOPMENTS California Senate Fails To Pass Plastic Bag Ban With at 21-14 vote, the California State Senate failed to pass AB 1998—a bill that would have banned single-use plastic carryout bags statewide. Californians consume upwards of 19 million plastic bags per year, which require approximately 8 million barrels of oil to produce. Less than 5% of plastic bags are ever recycled, and those that aren’t all too often make their way into our oceans where they pose a threat to wildlife and never fully decompose. The American Chemistry Council (ACC) forked out over a million dollars to launch deceptive ad campaigns and sway the Senate to vote in their favor.
Once More in the Gulf of Mexico Five months after the Deepwater Horizon drilling rig exploded April 20, killing 11 people and causing oil to gush into the Gulf of Mexico, leading to one of the worst environmental disasters in U.S. history, an oil production platform has exploded 80 miles off the central coast of Louisiana. The Coast Guard initially reported that an oil sheen a mile long and 100 feet wide had begun to spread from the site of the blast, but hours later, the Coast Guard said crews were unable to find any spill. Hmmm...
China’s 60-Mile, 11-Day Traffic Jam...was just the beginning For nearly two weeks, a stretch of highway outside Beijing saw monster gridlock, which stretched out over sixty miles and trapped drivers on China’s National Highway 110 for days. Now there is a 75-mile traffic jam on a motorway heading towards Beijing. Over 10,000 trucks carrying coal are caught in the snarl. This has been marked as the world’s longest traffic jam. Anybody want to guess how much pollution is being created by this clusterfuck?
PADDLE FOR A CAUSE On July 3rd ocean activist Margo Pellegrino, 43, launched a two month paddling journey on the Pacific Ocean in her outrigger canoe. Beginning in Seattle, she plans to complete her voyage in San Diego at the Surfrider Foundation Paddle For Clean Water on September 12th. During the two months of her journey, she will paddle approximately 1,500 miles making around 60 stops along the West Coast to highlight the need for coastal conservation and pollution prevention. The Paddle For Clean Water event starts with free breakfast at 9 a.m. and features the paddle around the Ocean Beach Pier at 10 a.m. on Sunday September 12th. The paddle around the OB Pier features all sorts of paddlecraft – surfboards, bodyboards, kayaks, outrigger canoes, etc. – in a non-competitive paddle out and around the Ocean Beach Pier to raise awareness to pollution problems along San Diego’s coastline. The event will also include breakfast for all paddlers, special guest speakers, music, a huge raffle with a new surfboard as the grand prize and a beach cleanup. Over 1,000 beach and ocean lovers are expected to take to the waters off Ocean Beach this year. It’s a free event and promises to be a morning of fun for everyone in the family. “Paddling around the Ocean Beach Pier is not mandatory, but expect to have fun either in the water or on the beach. Bring a friend or three and share the stoke during the huge paddle out. ” said Manase Mansur, chair of Surfrider Foundation’s San Diego Chapter.
AVAILABLE NOW Fuel: The World is Addicted to Oil. It’s time for an Intervention.
TheFuelFilm.com
“Revolutionary”
“Can I get a medium Sprite, and all of your used cooking oil please?” Josh Tickell has been promoting a sustainable planet his entire life, and he is getting better at it. In the nineties it was the “Veggie Van Voyage” which was a two-year, cross-country tour where he promoted alternative fuels. More recently it’s the film “Fuel”, and the recent BP oil spill in the Gulf is a sickening reminder of the film’s precedence, and why his award-winning documentary may just be the most important film you haven’t seen. “Fuel” takes a startling look at the grimy history and politics behind oil, the status-quo of foreign and domestic oil dependency, the hazards to our health, and consequences to the environment as a byproduct of our oil addiction as a society. It’s not all bad news though, because this film is really about the possibilities of alternative fuels, the abundance of energy and resources, and how we DO have enough to sustain every life on this planet. The film is a call to arms… Well, more like a call to the collective consciousness of society to make changes in how we think, act, and how we get our energy. It is a visually stunning, passionate, comprehensive, and ultimately inspiring film
FREE BUMPER STICKER + FREE DRINK WITH EVERY FILL UP AT PEARSON FUELS 4067 El Cajon Blvd. San Diego, CA 92105 Phone: (619) 243-0456
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ON DVD
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COOL GEAR
ASR NEW PRODUCT PREVIEW
CHEATER 5 Hot Sauce
Yep! They’re even hawkin’ Hot Sauce at the ASR show. Not just any hot sauce Mind you....this stuff is off the hook good! Shreddin’ Serrano Hot Sauce, Killer Caribbean Hot Sauce & Totally Tubular Taco Sauce. Straight from the beaches of sunny California comes this INSANE sauce with its blend of fire roasted flavors that are sure to knock your flips off. Douse it on tacos, burritos, tostadas, and more. 5.99 www.cheater5.com
OMNI TECH FIGURES
SKULLYBOOM SB1
SkullyBoom splashed into the portable electronics scene with the worlds loudest portable speaker tailored to the transient lifestyles of surf, skate, and snow culture. The SB1 is a portable amplified speaker system that works with any audio device. The SB1 allows audio fanatics to enjoy their tunes on the go in a package that sounds as amazing as it looks. 49.99 www.skullyboom.com
BACKWARDS CIRCLE BIKE CO. Fixie
Backward Circle is a new breed of “Mixed Fixed” Bikes. The ultimate in customs, incorporating Track, BMX, & Street style. The frame is a handmade Chromoly Steel, designed in Southern California. Killer styling includes un-equilateral seat stays, curved seat tubing, Bmx style aerodynamic fork, & custom track style dropouts. The new road weapons for the Revolt In Style crew. Get around fast and smooth with incredible control. Not to mention style... always in style, friends. BC custom white & orange fixed - 599.95 www.backwardcircle.com
Featuring high-end components, sealed bearings & custom paint schemes on these ‘fixies’
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Pacific Beach’s own genius/dreamer Mike Bellon invented this unreal Ryan Sheckler Action Figure. Compare it to a “marionette without strings”: A plastic figure rigged with a 5-inch control rod. Four knobs on the rod manage gears and clutches on the inside that give the toy its ability to do the most realistic tricks imaginable. Go to their website for a quick video demonstration. It’ll blow your mind & all your spare time. 24.99 www.actionsportstoys.com
SIMR SD5
Born right here in San Diego, California… the “Diego” performance shortboard, designed by Derrik Kapalla, SIMR’s most popular and best selling model of Summer 2010. Wide point forward and low entry rocker. Shaper Notes: “You can go a little shorter with this outline. I love the versatility of the five fin option which allows you to switch back and forth from a thruster to a quad.” 525.00 www.simrsurfboards.com
As technology catches up to imagination, the cameras get smaller the memory gets larger and the applications for these bad boys gets wilder. Keep an eye on our website for continuous uploads and reviews on these units.
COOL GEAR
WAR OF THE MINI HD CAMERAS
ContourHD
BROWNFISH Handplane
Handmade “EL GIGANTE” by local San Diego artisan and surf aficionado. Made from Paulownia or Poplar wood. Treated with a water-based, high gloss finish. Design features include the Bat-tail, an ergonomic palm pad and an adjustable hand strap made from recycled Geoprene. It’s good for bigger people and also people with very little bodysurfing or ocean experience. It should get even the biggest guys up and ‘tri-podding’, and the less experienced into waves with ease. Measures 18” x 9” 139.00 www.brownfishhandplanes.com
SUP Safari Pak
Designed to appeal to the hard core fisherman as well as the flat water paddler for everyday outings. Safari has a paddle pocket, custom fishing rod holders, ample exterior pockets, and a large unobstructed interior to hold most anything. Use for exploring, camping, outings and fishing. This system comes with four tie down straps that can attach to existing tie down points and four peel and stick low profile anchors for boards without tie down points. These anchors are heavy duty and designed to not interfere with surfing or paddling. 110. www.boardfisher.com
Our old friend Sweet Pussy Frank is repping for Contour. Their claim is to be the smallest wearable video camera. A cool detail is that it’s built to be operated with a pair of gloves on. ContourHD uses a single button to capture hours of HD video to an internal microSD memory card. www.contour.com
GOPRO HD Surf HERO 1080p HD on-board video and still photo camera. Professional quality 1080p / 960p / 720p HD resolutions record at 30 and 60 frames per second Easily mounts to any surfboard in seconds. It can also shoot 5MP photos automatically every 2 seconds. 5 / 10 / 30 / and 60 second time lapse as well as self timer modes. Waterproof to 180’ 269. www. goprocamera.com
DPop Surf Pad
Simple, yet effective. A small pad, attached to the surfboard near the chest. Makes paddling more comfortable. Users can paddle faster, catch more waves, and surf longer without getting tired. For beginners or advanced riders. 30. Dennopop.com
KINGS Stand Up Paddle Boards & Blades
The Knight SUP Board- Designed and tested by Master Shaper Dave Daum. This board does everything incredibly well. It paddles so fast it feels like a race board. The Knight is great for flat water paddling in oceans, rivers, lakes, streams, and harbors. Designed for all skill levels; from beginner through expert. The Knight has a veebottom running the full length of the board. The vee helps the board resist the yawing from side to side caused by paddling on one side of the board at a time. 1560. King’s All Carbon Stand-Up Paddle- lightweight all-carbon fiber and epoxy paddle. It is renowned for its strength, durability and paddling power. 229. King’s Stand-Up Paddle Bag- Provides protection from scratches, sunshine, and damage. 40. www.kingspaddlesports.com
EPIC Action Video HD Cam
Announcing the addition of Epic’s new, High Definition camera to their collection. EPIC brings Action Sports, Motorsports and Adventure enthusiasts into the world of YouTube with a self-contained, lightweight digital video camera. Capture your best moments with the ability to shoot in High Definition by way a variety of camera mounts. Whether it is mounted to your helmet, your board, your handlebars, your kayak or the hood of your car, it brings a new perspective to video. 279. www. epicstealthcam.com
RE-PLAY XD
Introducing the world’s most revolutionary action-sports POV System. The Re-Play XD features a nearly zero-weight, rugged aluminum form factor chassis, combined with an integrated high resolution Camera Recorder. Chapsticksize mini DVR system that records DVD quality video to a microSDHC Memory card. The RePlay XD is designed to be easy to use and intuitive with its simple “On” and “Off” two-button operation and vibration feedback feature. You can record video of your adventures for up to 90 minutes on a single charge and re-play what you have recorded — from your PC or Mac. It’s that simple. Big Thanks to John & Kori for coming out to the RSSS event & hooking up our top riders with these incredibly cool cameras. 189. www.stableimaging.com
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ASR RUNWAY
Photos By Aaron Goulding
2011 SWIMWEAR STYLES by L-Space, Rip Curl, O’ Neill, Lucy Love and Rusty
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ASR SHOW at SD CONVENTION CENTER
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SPOTLIGHT
HOT PROPERTIES HIP HAIR
CHRONIC SMOOTHIES / BLAZIN GRILL
1039 Garnet Avenue San Diego, CA 92109 858.270.7022 A good salon can help you look your very best. Whether you’re going to the extreme by dying your hair to match your favorite football team, or you just need to get your hair and make-up done for a night out on the town. Finding the right person and place that can handle all your needs, can be frustrating. Alina Makinson has taken over Hip Hair and created an atmosphere where not only are you comfortable the second you walk through the door, but you know you’re going to be placed into the right hands. “We’re a cool and fun salon located in the heart of Pacific Beach. We have a huge passion for what we do, and we’re really good at it. We have a wide variety of hair stylists to suit all your needs. We specialize in men, women and kids cuts, hair coloring, dreadlocks, braiding, Brazilian Blowout, track extensions, makeup, wedding packages, and mobile hairstyling for events,” explains Alina. Here’s a quick Q & A with the woman herself. What got you into hair styling? Alina: I just always wanted to. What made you decide to open your own store? Alina: I worked here previously, and the owner wanted to move on. So it just kind of fell into my lap. How do you like it? Alina: I love it.
expires 10/31/10
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865 Turquoise Street North Pacific Beach CA 92109 www.theblazingrill.com 858.488.2529
For years I had stopped in at Chronic Smoothies most mornings for a quick shot of wheat grass or one of their great smoothies. The smoothies were always top quality, full of fresh fruit & berries. Just a great little place to get your smoothie fix in PB. One day I walked in & they were gone and the place had changed...drastically. A medical marijuana dispensary had opened in their old location. You could still get grass. Just not wheat grass. WTF? Where did they go?
How’s business? Alina: Great now that the sun is shinning. So what cuts do you like to do most? Alina: We do a lot of crazy colors and cuts. We also do the more natural styles, but it’s always fun to get into the crazy stuff. What’s the wildest style you’ve done? Alina: We’ve done dollar signs, and leopard prints. You name it, we’ve done it. Any plans for the shop? Alina: I’d like to make it the same size as it was before. We want to knock down the sidewall and add some more services, like waxing, spray tanning, and a manicurist. So who are the artists that did all the amazing paintings? Alina: Seth Shelman(www.psykeydesign.com) did all the walls, and his friend Gustavo painted the face on the wall as you walk in.
Relax. They just moved down the street. Not even a block away. They consolidated two businesses in a tough economy and discovered that it was the perfect decision. Not only did the owner Chris build himself a beautiful new location but they also stepped it up on a number of items. First off, the new digs are pretty stylish. Bali surf paintings hang from the walls. Surf videos & other sports play on the many flat screen TV’s. Smooth reggae music plays softly from the sound system. The patio is perfect for sitting back and chatting with friends. What about the menu? During daylight hours you can find killer smoothies, Acai bowls, awesome juicy burgers & handcrafted sandwiches. But, when the sun starts to set, that’s when the grill fires up! The dinner menu is full of exciting appetizers, hearty entrees, as well as a choice selection of their burgers, salads & pizzas. Chris prides himself on using only the finest produce & meats available. Start off with the Stuffed Tomatoes (filled w/ spinach, garlic & basil with mozarella...topped with panko crumbs). Fresh grilled asparagus or the Fire Chili Garlic Shrimp skewers. All are delicious, light & healthy. You have to try Kim’s BBQ ribs for an entree or ‘vegi’ it up with the eggplant ‘lasagna’. Need some real protein? Try their grilled Steak and Fries. A 10oz. New York Strip with caramelized onions & blue cheese sauce. Don’t forget the four cheese homemade Mac -NCheese. Some serious food from the Blazin’ Grill. So friends, take it from me... change is good. In this case, REAL GOOD!
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NEW VENUE
EAST COAST STYLE WEST COAST FLAIR
IL PADRINO
859 Hornblend Street Pacific Beach CA www.ilpadrinopizza.com 858.274.9927
“We just got fed up with bad pizza. One day, we just said, Let’s do it ourselves.”
Just slightly off the beaten path a new Pizzeria has opened their doors in Pacific Beach. Just east of Mission Blvd. on Hornblend St. the unassuming, contemporary styled venue sits. Open the doors and walk into your new favorite local hang-out. With comfortable booths facing numerous flatscreens and high padded barstools that line the accommodating beer & wine bar. Il Padrino is ready to change the way you look at your next slice of pizza. What sets them apart from the rest of the pizza joints in our fine city? East Coast Style Pizza. Bold flavors, the freshest ingredients and creative, taste bud tantalizing concoctions. With over 35 recipes to choose from you will definitely find something to satisfy your pallet. The two owners are Sven Zabka and Sam Calvanese, two transplants from the East Coast who now make it their mission to provide San Diegan’s with
the pizza that they grew up on and love so much. “We just got fed up with bad pizza. One day we just said, Let’s do it ourselves. And the rest is culinary history.” East Coast Style refers to their amazing homemade sauce, thinner crust and premium quality cheese. All topped by the freshest ingredients available. The homemade sauce is a closely guarded family recipe. So secret in fact, the final ingredients are mixed off property. It arrives in pre-portioned containers, personally delivered by one of the owners. “None of our staff has the complete recipe” Sam said “It’s been passed down for generations ... “It’s the family business.” Did we explain that ‘IL Padrino’ translated is ‘The Godfather’? These two are passionate about their product. Sam shares more about their pizza.
“It’s about quality. The cheese is the highest quality premium cheese. We’re the only pizzeria that uses it in the beach area. It’s non greasy and that makes all the difference in the world. Especially when you re-heat a slice in our ovens. When we sell you a slice, it’s like it was taken out of the oven for the first time. The cheese may cost more but we know it’s worth every penny.” Another thing that will immediately catch your attention when you walk in are the wide variety of calzones, grinders & salad items that are listed on the wall-sized chalkboard menu. “The Chicken Parm & Meatball Grinders are exceptional. The marinara is another great traditional recipe. The meatballs are handmade everyday. It makes a huge difference.” Sven claims meatball sandwiches are his favorite food and there is no better recipe to be found in San Diego.
Owners Sven & Sam toast to their new success
Bucky’s BBQ Chicken and 1/2 Hawaiian 1/2 Sausage, Onion & Peppers
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SPORTS SHOTZ
METAL + MOTOCROSS + MAYHEM =
Melting Pot of Motocross to Feature Post-Apocalyptic “dream track” designed by James Stewart, Travis Pastrana, Ronnie Renner, David Knight and Geoff Aaron This October, the stars will align to create one of most unique and challenging tracks motocross has ever seen. Five of the world’s best motocross athletes will come together to design and build a “dream track” blending several two-wheel off-road disciplines. The athletes - James Stewart, Travis Pastrana, Ronnie Renner, David Knight and Geoff Aaron - will bring to life a track that unites design elements from supercross, motocross, endurocross, freestyle and trials. Each of the five riders will contribute a portion to the total design, and the result will be a mash-up of everything they’ve always wanted to put into a race track, but were never allowed to do. This motocross melting pot will be known as Red Bull Metallicross, and will be held at the venerable Pala Raceway on Saturday, October 23. With some of the best talent in motocross serving as designers, the track will definitely be revolutionary, but it will also have a theme to bump the excitement up a few more notches. As Red Bull Metallicross implies, it will not only feature top-level motocross action, but “metal” music as well. Rock and metal bands will perform on the track in-between each round of racing, and the event will culminate with a special performance by a top heavy metal group. Red Bull Metallicross is open to pros and amateurs alike, but the track will not be for the faint of heart. The track will be as unforgiving as it will be revolutionary, and will feature: a nearly two story drop into the first turn; a 12-foot-high step-up; dirt-to-concrete whoops; a creek crossing; stretches of sand; a stair set made of railroad ties; explosions and geysers of flame. The racing format will also add some new wrinkles and twists to traditional racing. There will be several heat races, a last chance qualifier and wildcard elements that will keep the fans riveted to the action on the track and give every rider a true chance to prove themselves. “When I was approached to help design a section of the Red Bull Metallicross track, I jumped all over it,” said Stewart. “I have always had some pretty crazy thoughts about obstacles and elements to a track. Now with this special event it gives me the blank canvas I need to put these crazy elements together. You can look forward to some wild stuff that will take each athlete’s absolute best to navigate and survive.” “Metallicross is going to be the raddest event ever. I’m pumped to be a part of something so revolutionary to the sport,” said Renner. “We have a chance to help design our own real life video game…this event is going to be all-time!” Aspiring racers will have the chance to earn a spot in the main event during one of two regional qualifier events. The top 10 riders from each qualifier will move on and pit themselves against some of the best professionals in the world at the Red Bull Metallicross main event. Qualifiers will take place at the following locations: September 25: E-Street MX, Riverfront Track, Sacramento, Calif. October 2: Pala Raceway, Pala, Calif. More information is available at www.redbullmetallicross.com .
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VOLLEYBALL TOURNEY Rubicon Deli Sponsors a Great Fundraiser Event Oct. 3rd
Co-Ed 4 on 4 Teams compete at ‘The Pit’ In Mission Beach across from the Coaster. After a long (or short) summer of pounding the nets, its time to find out who is king of the beach!! Join the Rubicon Crew and support their non profit fund raiser in the name of Grant Korrigan, an amazing friend and extreme athelete who was tragically paralyzed when he hurled his snowmobile of a 160 ft cliff. Register at Rubicon deli 3819 mission blvd for a full day of 4 on 4 co ed volleyball in mission bay park. Entry includes fully catered lunch, guaranteed 3 games, great prizes for top three teams! For more info go to www.highfivesfoundation.org
HIGHWATER OPENS IN SD From the makers of STEP INTO LIQUID and DUST TO GLORY HIGHWATER (Outsider films) will open in select markets including San Diego in September at the AMC Fashion Valley Theatre. Highwater chronicles the Triple Crown at a notable milestone, the Rip Curl Pro Pipeline Masters’ 35th anniversary. Held in the cyclone of the North Shore between Halloween and Christmas Eve. For 55 days the North Shore’s population triples and locals are joined by heroes, posers, legends, leeches, fans, fanatics, dreamers, saints and sinners looking for money, fame, redemption, love, lust, inspiration, parties, respect and surf. In 55 days 400 will arrive to confront their fears of whether or not they should have come: 50 will nearly drown, boards will be broken, stitches given, a few dreams will be fulfilled, a few nightmares visited upon the dreamers, legends bestowed and revoked. For some, nothing will ever be the same.
2010 HENNESSEY’S PADDLEBOARD CHAMPIONSHIPS
San Diego, California - Saturday, September 25, 2010 On Saturday, September 25th, Hennessey’s Taverns of California will host the Hennessey’s International Paddleboard Championships in the beautiful city of San Diego! Come check out this new venue as we race a nine-mile course that begins and ends at the beach in front of the Polynesian-style Catamaran Resort Hotel. A shorter, six-mile course will be run for the stock SUPs, as well as a three-mile Fun Run event for novice paddlers and stand ups. Additionally, we will include the first annual Lifeguard Bragging Division! The event promises to be an excellent, half bay, half open ocean race with top competitors hailing from around the world! Come down & support legendary local paddleman and environmentalist Tim Kessler at the event. Check out the website at www.hennesseyspaddleboarding.com
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Eric McHenry Pulls A Three-Peat Season #4 of the Revolt Summer Surf Series comes to a perfect end Photography by Aaron Goulding
A
fter another brutal season of surfing in uncharacteristic 3-4’ summer waves under perfect blue skies and against some of his best friends in the water, the prodigal son Eric McHenry pulls out another championship. For the third season, McHenry battled and won against the best surfers around, that gather every year for the Revolt Summer Surf Series.
During the summer that many say ‘never happened’, talented surfers from all over the globe congregated once again in San Diego to compete for bragging rights, new surfboards, a ton of surf swag, cash & trophies at the 4th annual RSSS Pro Am. They came from as far away as Australia, the Hawaiian islands, Central & South America, Mexico and everywhere else in between. California supplied the majority of the line-up, many from North County and OC, but local powerhouses like McHenry, Justin McBride & Jay Christenson were showing no mercy at their home breaks of Crystal Pier and Ocean Beach Pier. Although the summer of 2010 was mostly gloomy, overcast and chilly for most, the surf gods allowed all three events to continue unimpeded. Blue skies, warm sun and fun mid-sized waves were in abundance at each of the events. (The weather promptly turned sour and the waves shrank back into the cold pacific immediately following all three events,) Eric McHenry finished first in round one at Crystal Pier in June. Michele Flores took the podium for round two in Ocean Beach mid July. Hawaiian import Chas Chidester dominated the third and final event held again at Crystal Pier August 29th. Each rider received cash awards & trophies as well as new Firewire surfboards & crazy amounts of swag from all of our sponsors this year. But leading in points for the entire series was Eric McHenry, securing his place in history as a three time RSSS champion. For his efforts he was awarded a new Firewire surfboard, a $5,000 custom auto sound system from Kicker Audio, a new micro HD camera from RePlay, an overflowing bag of swag from all our sponsors and a guaranteed slot at the Ultimate Boarder™ Championship to be held in early 2011. And a special thanks to all of our great sponsors this season. You made it all possible. Note: Never have we met a more gracious and humble champion. It was a pleasure having Eric (and his wonderful family) at each of the events this season. We wish him all the continued success as a professional surfer and a genuinely good guy. Congratulations Eric.
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Paul Pugliesi destroys the lip at event #3
The Finals at Crystal Pier as seen from the water.
Zach Rhinehart spent all day in the green room
Pro Am division winners event #2
Grom division winners event #2
Juniors division winners event #2
PowerBalance team rider Jeromy Hansen....crushing it
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Chuck Glenn overall SUP Champion RSSS 2010
The Finals at Crystal Pier SUP Division was a big hit for 2010 ‘Resident’ DJ Sasha from Calsound.com Pro Am division winners event #3
Series champ Eric McHenry with Brian, Leslie & Tim Hoover Event # 2 at OB Pier in July
Phil Antonopoulos contest director & awesome friend
The little dudes take it seriously
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Michelle Flores airs at The Finals
SUMMER of 2010 Photos by Aaron Goulding / JagMediaProductions.com
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“I LIVE AND SURF
OUTSIDE THE BOX”
THE SCOTT CHANDLER INTERVIEW
By Andrew Smith Photos by Aaron Goulding (unless noted)
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t’s become cliche´ to be a surfer in San Diego. Every stretch of coast from Imperial Beach to the Orange County line seems to be home to droves of faceless buoys, bobbing silently in the sea. Each car seems to be carrying a surfboard on its roof while zinc-screened groms peer through the windows.
And why not? San Diego is a remarkably fortunate zone from a surfer’s perspective. Moderate weather and water temperature couple with easy coastal access and the kind of surf infrastructure that make learning to surf convenient. Surf camps raise children to be surfers while their parents deal with their midlife crises by waxing up and hitting the waves. But in the midst of the great crush of superficially stoked surf dabblers there are those who earn the right to be called true watermen. Scott “Channy” Chandler stands as a paradigm in this regard. He has been scuba certified since he was eleven. He holds the world record for catching a 170 pound mako shark off of a surfboard. He has competed with legends like Joey Buran and Mark Occhilupo. He is the only San Diego surfer seeded into the prestigious Jaws Invitational big wave event. He is a transcendent surfer. “I’ve always been a stoked surfer, but I’ve also always had a hunger to push myself in new directions with my surfing.” says Chandler. In the mid eighties Scott Chandler embarked on a journey that would change the course of his life forever. Finding himself enthralled by the surfing life he made his way to Mecca, the North Shore of Oahu. While on the island enjoying the warm water and fantastic surf, Chandler learned to shape surfboards under iconic craftsmen Dick Brewer and Owl Chapman. He also challenged himself with waves that had real consequence, far different than those he found at home in San Diego. “Pipeline is where I really cut my big-wave teeth,” Chandler recalls. “I got to surf with Gerry Lop ez and all the big names but it was that spot that is the real star in my mind.” Hawaii is where he developed a taste for large waves and discovered his talent for riding the pacific beasts.
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Photo (above) By John W Grover
Photo by Tim Ditty
There is not a whisper of wind moving across the water where Chandler sits on his Jet Ski, ready to be towed into sixty foot waves at Cortez Bank. These treacherous and awe-inspiring mountains of water appear in the middle of the ocean some hundred miles off of the San Diego coastline. Here, powerful swells push onto submerged undersea mounts to produce the incredible waves Chandler has come to ride. Chandler remembers, “In the 80’s a fisherman told me about the waves at The Bank. I just thought there was no way he was right. It turns out there really are these amazing big waves in this surreal location. “ As his surf session plays out Scott finds himself exhilarated by the experience, while somehow finding calm at his center. It seems big-wave surfing brings Chandler to a point of understanding, almost ecstatic recognition of how fortunate he is to be at play with nature’s most amazing forces. “I’ve always felt excitement and fear with big waves. It’s that fear that draws me to it. It teaches me about my limits.” Chandler confides. Scott Chandler is not all about big waves and jaw dropping feats. As an early adopter of the standup paddleboard phenomenon, Chandler has had the opportunity to explore the nuance and capabilities of the discipline. He has ridden standup boards in double overhead barrels in mainland Mexico and used them to cruise the mellow summer days in his local surf spots. Today, you will find his image displayed heavily in standup paddle publications of all kinds. “Some people don’t like the standup thing,” Chandler notes. “People don’t like change. I embrace it and look at it as a new exploration.” Chandler uses his accumulated experience to create fantastic surfboards, standup paddleboards, kiteboards, and all manner of other watercraft. He also does stunt work, film work, and water safety at big wave surf events. Making his living as a surfer and surfboard shaper has brought him deep satisfaction personally. Now, Chandler is giving to others through his talents. Recently, Chandler participated in a fundraising endeavor to raise money supporting animal charities. Not surprising for a surfer who has won the Coronado Surfing Dog competition with his canine companion four years in a row. He is even teaching his pot-bellied pig to surf.
“I would like to thank all my sponsors: Jet Pilot, Sobe, Stay Covered, Hydro-Turf, Go Pro Cameras, Chandler Surf, Toyota Carlsbad, Power Balance, Pure Fitness Sporting Clubs, The Fish Joint, and Kicker Audio.”
Scott Chandler demonstrates the most compelling aspects of what being a surfer can mean. He is physically healthy, emotionally grounded, and singularly devoted to interacting with nature at peak levels. He finds the joy grown from years of living a surfer’s life to both enrich him personally and benefit those around him. A committed father, Chandler shows that surfers can responsibly balance home responsibilities with the ever-present draw of the ocean. Amongst hoards of San Diego surfclones, Scott Chandler has stood as an original for years. He will continue to stand as a unique individual as he extends his exploration of surfing performance.
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MAKE IT A DOUBLE
Brett Simpson wins his second US OPEN of SURFING Huntington Beach favorite Brett Simpson, 25, defeated current Association of Surfing Professionals (ASP) World No. 1 Jordy Smith (ZAF), 22, to clinch his second consecutive title in front of his home crowd at the Association of Surfing Professionals (ASP) PRIME US Open of Surfing presented by Hurley and Nike 6.0 to clinch the highly sought after $100,000 check at South Huntington Beach Pier in two-to-four foot surf. Evan Geiselman (New Smyrna Beach, FL), 17, also put in an impressive performance to clinch the ASP Grade-2 US Open of Surfing Pro Junior to solidify the title of 2010 ASP North America Pro Junior Series Champion. Simpson, who marched to a dream victory in front of his home crowd last year, surfed consistently throughout the event’s entirety to charge to a nearly unimaginable repeat performance to take his second consecutive US Open of Surfing title and mass of ratings points on offer towards his ASP World Ranking. “Last year barely sank in and now I won this year,” Simpson said. “It’s so hard to mentally imagine it all over again because you have to stay consistent and surf so many heats. Luckily I zoned everything out and tried not to worry about the points or the money and that’s when I have competed the best. To be at home with so many friends and family, I’ve enjoyed it so much. To win out here two years in a row is unimaginable. ” Simpson, who defeated reigning two-time ASP World Champion Mick Fanning (AUS), 29, to win his 2009 US Open of Surfing title, rose to the challenge once again this year, topping a marquee list of surfers including nine-time ASP World Champion Kelly Slater (Cocoa Beach ,FL), 38, former ASP World Tour surfer Nathaniel Curran (Oxnard, CA), 26, ASP Dream Tour rookie Adam Melling (AUS), 25, and Australian standout Julian Wilson (AUS), 22, before defeating Smith in the Final. Brett Simpson clinches his second consecutive title at the US Open of Surfing
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Evan Geiselman wins US Open of Surfing Pro junior division
“It’s amazing to beat those guys,” Simpson said. “I guess this is my best chance to compete against those guys and I know the wave really well and I just go out there and stay confident. I know which waves score the best and that’s all you can do against those guys.” Smith, who posted the highest scores of the day in the Quarterfinals, ousted dangerous ASP Pro Junior surfer Miguel Pupo (BRA), 18, in the Quarterfinals and reigning two-time ASP World Champion Mick Fanning (AUS), 29, in the Semifinals, but was unable to find a rhythm against Simpson and placed second overall. “It wasn’t exactly J-Bay, it’s Huntington, it’s never going to be perfect,” Smith said. “You’ve got to kind of adapt to everything and Brett (Simpson) did that the best. It’s a big event and Brett has done it again, congratulations to him.” Evan Geiselman, who put in an amazing performance in the men’s ASP PRIME event via his wildcard entry, stormed to victory at the ASP Grade-2 Pro Junior over a tough list of talent including Alejo Muniz (BRA), 20, Kolohe Andino (San Clemente, CA), 16, and Miguel Pupo (BRA), 18. “I just had fun this whole week,” Geiselman said. “I took it serious, but just had fun and did what I wanted to do. I didn’t let anything get in my heat and just surfed.” Day nine of the US Open also saw the finals of Converse Coastal Carnage and the Nike 6.0 BMX Pro. For full highlights and coverage of the 2010 US Open of Surfing go to usopenofsurfing.com. US Open of Surfing Men’s Final Results: 1 – Brett Simpson (USA) 13.97 2 – Jordy Smith (ZAF) 8.33 US Open of Surfing Men’s Semifinals Results: Heat 1: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 13.00 def. Mick Fanning (AUS) 12.80 Heat 2: Brett Simpson (USA) 13.37 def. Kelly Slater (USA) 13.33 US Open of Surfing Men’s Quarterfinals Results: Heat 1: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 17.66 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 16.10 Heat 2: Mick Fanning (AUS) 16.26 def. Jadson Andre (BRA) 16.07 Heat 3: Kelly Slater (USA) 13.94 def. Granger Larsen (HAW) 7.43 Heat 4: Brett Simpson (USA) 10.14 def. Nathaniel Curran (USA) 9.74 US Open Pro Junior Men’s Final: 1 – Evan Geiselman (USA) 12.57 2 – Alejo Muniz (BRA) 12.54 3 – Kolohe Andino (USA) 8.23 4 – Miguel Pupo (BRA) 7.67
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Chris Cole’s third Maloof Money Cup win in a row. The Maloofs recently announced the offer of a $1-million bonus to any skater who wins four contests in a row.
The Future Of The Maloof Money Cup Photos & Interview by Eric Hendrikx
E
ver thought skateboarding would be the industry that enhances educational and cultural exchange programs around the world, stimulates tourism opportunities to foster economic growth in third-world countries, and provide numerous nations with an affordable and accessible activity for their youth?
A happy Joe Maloof surrounded by Monster Energy Drink promo team .
Probably not, with all of the anti-streetskater jargon we see in parking lots, plazas, parks and other public and private hotspots, sporting savory concrete and marble benches and smooth aluminum hand rails on their properties. But it doesn’t matter how many No Skateboarding signs are posted in our communities, or how many millions of skateboard deterrents are bolted down to those benches, ledges and stair rails, because the children have spoken—Skateboarding is the fastest growing sport on the planet. Leading the pack in this global action sports take-over is Las Vegas Palms Hotel owner Joe Maloof. No stranger to sports, Joe also owns the NBA’s Sacramento Kings, and was recently named a Hero by CNN Headline News for his work in the community through the Maloof Skateboarding Assistance Foundation to provide financial assistance to skateboarders, who are often considered too high risk to insure. Consistent with his community conscious direction, Joe has developed a skateboard competition that not only provides highly sought-after entertainment across the nation, and globally, but also gives back to those communities tenfold. “I think the New York City Maloof Money Cup 3 event we just held was terrific in two ways. After the event, I was contacted by twenty-seven other cities around the nation that wanted us to bring the Maloof Money Cup (MMC) competition to their city and build a skatepark for their community. And then, after MMC3 was done, the skatepark we built and left for the community of Queens was voted the best skatepark in the city of New York. So it was not only great for our brand, but also great for the community of New York City and of course, mainly for the kids.
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The Maloof Money Cup 4 was held in Orange County, California. It was a tremendous event that exceeded our expectations and delivered world class skateboarding to Southern California with the largest cash prizes in the industry. They had great acts there as well to entertain the crowd including Nelly and Lil Jon.
Nyjah Huston in one of the most exciting and controversial finals ever witnessed.
Next, we’re headed to Portland, where we will hold MMC5. We’re gonna have an amazing event there, close to the Rose Garden, bring in the competition and leave the community with a wonderful and unique skatepark. We are working in conjunction with the City of Portland on this one, where we’ll put up 75% of the money and the city will contribute 25%. I’m really excited about Portland. I think next year we’ll have between three and four MMC events in the United States and we’ll also hold one in South Africa. It’s hard to decide where to else to go outside the US, we’ve had interest from Brazil, China, Germany and the list goes on. We really have to be strategic as to what we want to establish, since there is so much interest and opportunity. We really need to do it the right way so we aren’t running around with our heads cut off. The South Africa event will be held in Kimberley, the diamond capital of the world, September 30 through October 2, 2011. It’s a beautiful city with wonderful people, and I’m proud to say that we will be bringing something exciting to their community and leave them with something special for their children to enjoy for many years to come. It’s really a spectacular, beautiful area, right where the Atlantic and the Indian Oceans meet. We always give the opportunity for the local skaters in the community to make the competitions, but there’s deffinitely no favoritism. They can make it if they’re good enough. We always want to make sure that we maintain the integrity of the event so that we have the best available skaters in the world, as we have in the past and I’m sure we will in the future.”
SHOW ME THE MONEY 1. Chris Cole - $100,000 2. Nyjah Huston - $40,000 3. Sean Malto - $25,000 4. Torey Pudwill - $15,000 WWW.REVOLTINSTYLE.COM 35
Repeat winner, Jake Brown prepares to drop into the Mega Ramp for the Big Air Finals at X Games 16
Photo: Bryce Kanights/Shazamm/ESPN Images
During the big air practice Andy Mc Donald takes a last chance to practice the tricks on the megaramp
HEAD
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Credit: C.Van Hanja/Shazamm/ESPN Images
Tanner Foust Rally Car SuperRally
Garett Reynolds Gold -BMX Freestyle Street Finals-
Credit: Matt Morning/Shazamm ESPN Images
Credit: C.Van Hanja/Shazamm/ESPN Images
Shaun White competes in Skate Vert Finals
Travis Pastarna rides to gold at the Speed & Style Final Credit: Christian Pondella/Shazamm/ESPN
Credit: C.Van Hanja/Shazamm/ESPN Images
Brian Kachinsky Silver-BMX Freestyle Street Finals
Pedro Barros competes Skate Park Men’s Summer X Games 16
Credit: C.Van Hanja/Shazamm/ESPN Images
Credit: Christian Pondella/Shazamm/ESPN
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We Have �e
nfl ti��!
RED BULL FLUGTAG Team ‘Peepin’ it Real’ floats into first place
Open Sundays @ 9:45 AM HD TV’s • Beers on Tap
Happy Hour During All NFL Games!!! Voted PB’s
Best Pizza By Beach & Bay Press & Revolt Readers
L
ong Beach was packed to capacity August 21st with more than 100,000 cheering fans at Red Bull Flugtag, where thirty-four teams launched their homemade flying machines off the end of a 30-foot high flight deck in hopes of achieving humanpowered flight. The crowd was so enormous that the 710 freeway’s exit ramp to the area was closed, all parking garages were at capacity and traffic was gridlocked throughout the downtown area. The hundreds of thousands that secured a spot were rewarded with the spectacle of human flight as 34 teams launched their crafts off a 30-foot flight deck in an attempt to defy gravity. Red Bull Flugtag, which means “flying day” in German, is a competition that dares both the brave and the brainy to design, build and pilot homemade flying machines off a 30-foot high ramp in hopes of achieving human-powered flight. While distance was definitely important, the crafts were also judged on two other criteria –creativity and showmanship – by a panel of celebrity judges including actor Cheech Marin, actress Nicole Sullivan & professional skateboarder Ryan Sheckler. Sheckler, who opened the event by launching himself off the flight deck on his skateboard, said, “This was amazing! We got a ton of people to show up and there were some really great crashes.” Cheech Marin said simply, “Red Bull Flugtag. Is. Good.”
THE RULES: Flying machines have to be entirely human-powered (no external energy sources or stored power). And all crafts had to weigh no more than 450 lbs (including the pilot).
Girl power ruled the day as team Peepin’ it Real floated into first place with a flight distance of 98 feet. The all-female team from Newport Beach, who are students at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo and UCLA, beat out teams comprised of mechanical and aerospace engineers, U.S. Navy rescue divers and The Coast Guard. For claiming first place, team Peepin’ it Real will be headed to Arizona for a flight with Red Bull Air Race World Champion, Kirby Chambliss, at his “Flying Crown Ranch.”
we pb SDSU
r e v i del
1221 Garnet Ave (Next to Trader Joe’s) (858) 642-6900 • woodstockspb.com
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6145 El Cajon Blvd (Campus Plaza) (619) 265-0999 • woodstockssd.com
The first Red Bull Flugtag was held in Vienna in 1991. Since then, more than 80 Red Bull Flugtags have been held around the world – from London to San Francisco – attracting up to 300,000 spectators at one event! The international flight distance record now stands at 207 feet and was just set in Minneapolis/St. Paul on July 24, 2010, after having stood for eight years! This is the third Red Bull Flugtag event in the US this summer after stops in Miami and Minneapolis/St. Paul earlier this year where a new World Record was set with a 207-foot flight. Red Bull Flugtag is making its final US stop of the year in Philadelphia on September 4th. Red Bull Flugtag Long Beach will also featured in a reality series called “On the Wings of Glory” airing Sundays after baseball starting September 5th on FOX Sports Networks.
KICKER is available at fine dealers everywhere. Click onto www.kicker.com for more information, or to locate an authorized KICKER Dealer in your area.
Photo courtesy of Tom Parker.
Fresh.
HP1973 Headphones
©2010 Stillwater Designs
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CYBORG EVANGELISTA SANTOS The Next Cyborg to Conquer The U.S. By Taff Davies Photos by Flavio Scorsato
There has been a lot of attention on Cris “Cyborg” Santos, the Women’s World MMA Champion who lives and fights out of San Diego. Cris burst on the American MMA scene with 8 fights to her name prior to her U.S. debut against then Strikeforce Champion Gina Carano, who Cris overwhelmed with a 1st round TKO victory. Since stripping Carano of her title, Cris has defended her own title twice in dominant fashion and is favored to be the champion for the foreseeable future. But as with any champion, there is always someone who helped get them there. In this case, that person is Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos, the man who taught Cris much of what she knows, shared his fight name “Cyborg” with her, and then married her, giving her his last name as well. But who is Evangelista Santos? Where did he come from? And what is his story?
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Not just a skilled fighter, Evangelista is also an outstanding trainer, known for his vast array of striking techniques and intense work ethic.
Evangelista Santos is a Brazilian MMA fighter with 31 fights to his record. He comes from Curitiba, the capital and largest city of the Brazilian state of Paraná, located in the south of Brazil. Curitiba is considered one of the best places to live in Brazil, with a strong European influence coming from German and Italian settlers. Curitiba is also home to Chute Boxe, the Brazilian martial arts academy known for its devastating style of Muay Thai Kickboxing. Chute Boxe is the gym that launched the careers of famed MMA fighters Anderson Silva, Shogun Rua and Wanderlei Silva. But beyond those fighters, Chute Boxe also started the career of MMA fighter and trainer Evangelista Santos, who is responsible for helping Cris Santos become the fighter she is today. Evangelista has been on the MMA scene for 13 years, turning pro at the age of 20 in November 1997. Tutored by Rudimar Fedrigo, the founder of Chute Boxe, Evangelista made his professional mixed martial arts debut as part of a one-night, eight-man tournament held by the Brazilian Vale Tudo organization (Vale Tudo means “Anything Goes” in the Brazilian language). From his start in 1997 until the present, Evangelista has fought 31 times, battling against such MMA standouts as Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, the current Light Heavyweight Champion of the UFC. After many fights in Brazil, the fast-paced and relentless style of Evangelista’s striking earned the attention of the Pride Fighting Championships in Japan (Pride was the biggest MMA organization in the world at that time). Evangelista made his Pride debut in 2006, fighting twice before Pride was bought out by the UFC in March 2007. Evangelista then started 2008 by fighting highly regarded striker Gegard Mousasi . After that, Evangelista fought for the new Japanese promotion Sengoku, earning himself a spot in Sengkou’s 8-man middleweight tournament, where he faced the Shooto Light Heavyweight Champion. Evangelista then signed to fight with MMA organization Strikeforce, the largest challenger to the UFC. He fought contender Joey Villasenor to a split decision in the 185 lb. weight class and then dropped to 170 lbs. for his next Strikeforce fight, defeating another feared striker Marius Zaromskis, who had just fought Nick Diaz for the Strikeforce 170 lb. title. Evangelista made quick work of Zaromskis, defeating him by TKO in the 1st round. Now, armed with his tremendous amount of experience and finally fighting at his natural weight of 170 lbs. (he fought at 205 and 185 for his whole career until 2009), Evangelista is predicted to be a serious threat in the welterweight division. Not just a skilled fighter, Evangelista is also an outstanding trainer, known for his vast array of striking techniques and intense work ethic. He has worked with a number of other athletes besides his wife Cris, including his other teammates from the Chute Boxe academy in Brazil. But now that Evangelista is based out of San Diego, he needed a new gym to call home. Naturally he chose The Arena, the San Diego MMA gym where his wife Cris Santos trained for her last 2 title defenses while Evangelista was in Brazil preparing to move to the U.S. Since moving to San Diego, Evangelista is training fighters out of The Arena, where he works with The Arena’s fight team alongside fellow coaches Pat Speight and Jeff Clark. In fact, he is partnering with his wife Cris to create Santos Training, which will feature their particular style of training for conditioning and martial arts. The Santos Training program will be conducted out of The Arena. Cris Santos will be training women 3 times a week at The Arena in the morning and Evangelista will be training men immediately afterwards. Their practice sessions will focus on a variety of drills and conditioning, which will make training accessible for a variety of people besides professional fighters. For anyone interested in getting in amazing condition and learning some great techniques along the way, this is an incredible opportunity to work with two of the best in the business. To find out more information about this program or The Arena, go to www.thearenamma.com or call 619-222-5554.
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T
he combination of musical energy between brothers and Hayley’s bold charisma earned them instant attention, particularly from Florida Indie Fueled by Ramen, who signed the band and put them to work recording their debut. Says Hayley, “Some of our favorite bands are on Fueled by Ramen. As Paramore embark on the most successful year of their career, there seems to be no limit as to what they can accomplish. The band’s last 2007 album RIOT! has sold over two million copies worldwide, the group was nominated for a Grammy Award in 2008 for “Best New Artist” and even their live CD/DVD The Final Riot! has gone gold. However while these statistics are impressive, record sales have never been the driv-
ing force behind Paramore and that fact has never been as evident as it is on the group’s highly anticipated third full-length brand new eyes. In fact, as excited as this group of young adults from Franklin, Tennessee are to have had the opportunity to tour with their heroes like Jimmy Eat World and No Doubt over the past few years, they seem even more ecstatic to share brand new eyes with the world. “I hope that every record is a progression for us, but this one is definitely a huge leap from RIOT!,” the band’s front woman Hayley Williams explains. “I just can’t wait to get back on the road and start playing these new songs live.” Coming to San Diego on Sept. 18th they are sure to rock the house. Here’s a little insight into the people behind the music.
Hayley Williams vocals
Josh Farro guitar
Taylor York guitar
Jeremy Davis bass
Zack Farro drums
“This is what I’ve learned, in my life: Headbanging is crucial. Growing up is hard to do. There’s nothing wrong with wearing a dress.“
“I’m very simple and slightly boring. I am usually pretty serious. And I love Jesus.”
“Well... I like to be myself. I love Jesus, and I love people. I love being home with my friends and family.
“I have the best family and friends in the world, I have the best job in the world, with the best fans in the world.
“I am 1 of 5 kids, the middle child, Love the color grey if that’s a color. Love music and love playing music and love Jesus.....I think that’s about all... “
Nicknames Hbomb, Hayleyball, Hayles Hometown Franklin, TN Interests - Music, writing, make-up, hair, fashion, theater. Favorite Bands - Saves The Day, mewithoutYou, Slick Shoes, The Chariot, Now Now Every Children, No Doubt, Fireworks, Set Your Goals, Tegan and Sara, New Found Glory, H2O, Lemuria, The Swellers Favorite Quotes - “Let’s throw away the hate and rock tonight.” Kid Dynamite, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” - Anais Nin What’s a fun fact about you? - I only eat one thing at a time... and sometimes in a clockwise fashion around my plate. It’s terrifying. What was the last book you read? - Coraline by Neil Gaiman
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Nicknames - Josh Hometown - Franklin, TN Favorite Places Franklin, TN Favorite Bands Death cab, Jimmy eat world, sigur ros, Bon iver, mew, Radiohead, Ryan Adams, sunny day real estate, failure and more Favorite Movies - The Truman show. Man on fire. The notebook. Dumb and Dumber. Favorite Quotes - John 15:5 What’s a fun fact about you? - I am 3 quarters Italian. What was the last book you read? - Soul cravings by Erwin McManus
Nicknames - T, Tay Interests - Jesus, Family, Friends, Music, Bike Rides, Bon Fires, BBQ’s, Front Porches, Roofs, Tea and Coffee, Garden Gnomes, Fall, Cereal, Muffins, Real Tree Camo, Febreze, The color combination blue and green, Eating cereal with Zac Favorite Bands - Mum, Radiohead, Failure, Jimmy Eat World, Yann Tiersen, Kent, At The DriveIn, Between The Buried And Me, mewithoutYou, Bjork, Kadawatha, Air, Canon Blue, Paper Route Favorite Quotes - “The most important part of vehicle maintenance is clean windows so if you are broken down, you will enjoy the beauty of the view. Also, ensure that electronic devices to play music are properly serviced. The more music you like, the happier you will be.” - Dan Eldon
Nicknames - Worm, Schzimmy Deanie Hometown - Franklin, Tennessee Interests - Music, riding my bike, all unhealthy foods, shooting my guns, hanging with all my best friends, anything that’s dangerous...count me IN, people watching, and good conversations Favorite Bands - Deftones, Death Cab for Cutie, Thrice, Sigur Ros, Paper Route, Mew Favorite Quotes - “that’s what she said” What’s a fun fact about you? - I never sleep, speaking of this it’s 4:09 AM right now and I’m still WIDE AWAKE
Nicknames - Z, and Zac Hometown - Franklin, TN Interests - I love my family, Tennessee, my friends, playing and recording music, Bowling, eating cereal with Taylor, Starbucks, movies, bikes, truck stops and truck stop tee-shirts. Favorite Bands - Jimmy Eat World, Radiohead, Death Cab for Cutie, Mew, Paper Route, Sigur Ros, Thrice, Sunny Day Real Estate, and Mum What’s a fun fact about you? - I am really stinking fun, and amazing at bowling. Not What was the last book you read? - Walking on Water by Madeleine L’Engle Favorite Quotes - “No problems, only solutions” -Melvin Carol Miller
SAN DIEGO’S GOT TALENT! By Leslie Krouse
As I sit drinking coffee at Kono’s cart next to Crystal Pier, with the eclectic group that gathers there every morning, having one of our thought provoking conversations, as we pretty much do every day. On this particular morning they struck up a conversation about Jewel. How she used to drive around to the different bars/coffee house’s here in P.B. asking for a chance to play in their establishment for free. They talked about how she’d work her ass off just to get heard. Which led into the discussion on how bands these days have the Internet to help promoted them. So there really isn’t as much of that ‘person-to-person, stand on the corner of Garnet and Mission handing out fliers’, contact anymore. This got me thinking about our local talent, and the fact that the SDMA’s were coming up. The San Diego Music Awards showcase some of the most talented artists America’s Finest City has to offer. Gathering them into one location, for an extraordinary night of music, awards, and one of the biggest rock-star party scenes of the year. The SDMA’s have hit Platinum status, marking 20years of awarding some of San Diego’s most influential and recognizable talent. It’s incredible the amount of top artist that have broken past the “Local” to “National” Status. Past winner include Jewel, Blink 182, POD, Jason Mraz, Sprung Monkey, Switchfoot, Unwritten Law, Slightly Stoopid, Rocket from the Crypt, Eddie Vedder, The Beat Farmers, and this years Life Time Achievement Award winners, The Iron Butterfly. This years nominees are inundated with so many “People/Bands to watch out for” it’s definitely going to be extremely hard to pick one winner out of each category. As music has expanded and changed through the years, so have the categories. Going from roughly 9 when it began in 91’ to the 27 categories of today. We may have lost Best Dixieland, but we gained Best Electronic. I’ve had the privilege of working with some of the nominees, whether it was at a show they performed for us, or reviewing their work for the magazine, or just plain hanging out, they’ve impressed me beyond compare. From groups like Vokab Kompany who rocked last years Boo-Fest, and who packed the place so full, it was busting at the seems, to Dirty Sweet who graced the cover of Revolt In Style, and put on one hell of a show at Anthology. Now, I’m not saying these are my picks, I just saying San Diego’s got talent, and I do suggest getting out there, and catching some shows. You never know who’s going to be, “the next big thing” to come out of this city. The best place to see some of the incredible talent is on Sunday the 12th of September, at Humphrey’s by the Bay. There will be an array of artists performing on stage, including Night Marchers, The Nervous Wreckords, Maren Parusel, New Mexico, Miss Erika Davies, Transfer, Jimmy Powers, and a special performance by Lifetime Achievement Award Winners, Iron Butterfly.
So if you get a chance come to Humphrey’s, this is a great way to get in touch with the artists that defined our city. Oh, and if you’d like to get into one of our morning conversations, come down to Kono’s around 7ish, say HI to Mike he owns the cart, stay for some great coffee, and great conversation.
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NEW MUSIC
HEAR THIS
STONE SOUR – AUDIO SECRECY
CD reviews by Leslie Krouse
Genre – Rock/Metal I have to say my love affair for Stone Sour started in the mid 2000’s, but was secured with the release of the 2nd studio album “Come What (ever) May.” Now on their 3rd studio album, I’d say they’ve polished their sound, so much you can see your reflection. “This album is a culmination of everything we wanted to do musically,” states Taylor. Audio Secrecy has that perfect combination of guitarist James Root’s unique style and drummer Roy Mayorga’s intensity, combined with singer Corey Taylor’s unyielding range, and you have what’s sure to be another Grammy Nomination. Audio Secrecy gives you 4 choices when purchasing. Digital iTunes has two, 10.99 for reg. and a “Special Edition” version, which include 3 bonus tracks for 13.99, and a total of 17 songs. Or you can purchase the CD, but they are releasing limited edition vinyl, only 30 copies. Audio Secrecy has a harder edge than its predecessors, but Taylor still mixes in a little alt/rock melodies to appease the ladies, and the airwaves. I’ve come across a few standout tracks, Unfinished, Nylon 6/6, Say You’ll Haunt Me, The Bitter End, Imperfect, and definitely the 3 Bonus songs are worth the 3 extra bucks.
DISTURBED – ASYLUM Genre - Metal
“Asylum” might be the best Disturbed album yet. There is a lot of variety between the tracks, but it still contains the core sound of the band. Fantastic musicianship (particularly in the vocals and guitar work) all around. Listen to this and go nuts. Asylum’s varied; introspective, powerful, angry, and aggressive cords and lyrics are what make this album worth listening to. With songs like Warrior, Crucified, The Infection, My Child, Asylum, and even when they cover U2 in ISHFWILF, they bring their own originality to the table. This album is what all Hard Rock Metal bands strive to be. Congrats guys great album.
THE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS – SPOOKS
Genre – Rock/Reggae/Fusion
What’s in a name? Well, for The Beautiful Girls, they’re definitely not girls, and as for beautiful, well I’ll let you make your own opinion. What they are is talented. Hailing from Sydney, singer/songwriter/producer Mat McHugh brings an experimental sound combining reggae, hip-hop, pop, rock, a bit of electronics, and I think I even heard a little ukulele thrown in at the beginning of ‘Some Melody.’ I dig the vibe. Here in SoCal we’re a custom to this genre of music, but Mat seems to have created something a little different. Standouts ‘Don’t Wait,’ ‘Mind is an Eco Chamber.’ ‘Spooks’, and ’10:10.’
THE GOO GOO DOLLS – SOMETHING FOR THE REST OF US Genre – Alt/Rock
Are we tired of them yet? The Goo Goo Dolls first arrived on the scene back in 86’ then hit the top of their career in the 90’s. Things slowed in the early 2000’s until 06’ when they had 3 hit singles that went gold. Now that the new decade has emerged so has the Dolls. Working with several producers--including Butch Vig (Green Day, Smashing Pumpkins), Tim Palmer (U2, Pearl Jam), John Fields (Pink, Switchfoot), and Rob Cavallo (Green Day) --on the ninth studio album you can definitely hear the influences each producer had to offer. The album is classic Goo Goo Dolls, so if you’re a fan, this ones for you.
LUDO – PREPARE THE PREPERATIONS
Genre – Alt/Pop/Rock Well, it’s been two years since our freaky, fun friends Ludo have put out an album. I have to say I missed them. In a world that can be too serious, Ludo strive to bring some levity. Intertwining humor and relatable topics. For example, Ludo 1st single release ‘Whipped Cream’ has lyrics like “I’ve been poundin’ the Jaeger, my breath and behavior have been driving the patrons away” somehow this reminds me of someone I know. With such fun hits as ‘Love Me Dead’ and stalking phenom ‘Go-Getter Greg,’ on Ludo’s first album ‘You’re Awful, I Love You,’ who hasn’t been, or been stalked by the creepy dude next door (and I’m not talking about Rambo:). The lyrics may be quirky, but that can’t over take the talent behind the words. The band: Andrew Volpe (vocals, guitar), Tim Ferrell (guitar, vocals), Tim Convy (Moog synthesizer, keyboards, vocals), and Matt Palermo (drums, vocals). Standout songs, the bluesy, jazzy ‘Skeletons on Parade,’ and the 50’s throwback ‘I’ll Never be Lonely,’ then there is the futuristic ‘Cyborgs Vs Robots.’ Take it all with a grain of salt, and have some fun with it.
DIGITAL DOWNLOADS
VINYL
Cause and Effect Here For You / Burnout Drum & Bass Digi-12inch $1.49
Ceeryl , Laurent Pepper Voyager / Air Amp Fiddler/Sly & Robbie
Wireman
Sun Ra
Black House (Paint The White House Black) *Trus’me*
The first release from Glasgow based Wireman, a new signing to the artist roster of Trusme’s Prime Numbers im-
Exact repro reissue on 180 gram vinyl.
The first of a new series aimed at bringing together current artists with
print. Taking all the best elements from dubstep, techno and ambient electronica creating an original sound that is all his own. Taking influence from pro-
their heroes, Inspiration Information features soul throwback Amp Fiddler collaborating with top reggae rhythm masters Sly & Robbie. - $13.99
Armour EP
ducers such as T++, Basic Channel, Autechre, 2562 and Kode9, Wireman has created some exceptional forward thinking dub techno.- $12.99
Electro/Techno Digi-12inch $1.49
Cosmos LP
Originally released IN 1977. “Cosmos is Sun Ra’s philosophy embedded in plastic, courtesy of Inner City Records. It is an unprecedented look at the inner and outer worlds of sound; a magic mixture of the exotic and the mundane, the supernatural and the material, the solar wind beating against the rings of Saturn. - $15.99
Adrian JP Recovery House Digi-LP - $1.49
Vinyl and $1.49 Digi Downloads available at WWW.CALSOUND.COM Check out Calsound at : Blog: www.calsound.com/wordpress Twitter: www.twitter.com/calsound Facebook: www.facebook.com/calsound
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NOISE ON CAMPUS
ANY APPLE PRODUCT
The demi-gods of tech once again announce a slew of awesome portable music players, apps and peripherals. Apple re-vamped its iPod lineup, unveiled an upgraded Apple TV that will feature streaming shows and movies, and launched a new music social networks. We are still reeling over our newly acquired iPhone 4 and along comes another dope batch of gems. Highlights include: The iPod Touch, Shuffle & Multitouch iPod Nano: all with smart updates and increased storage capacities. The New Apple TV with NetFlix and iTunes 10 (with what may just turn out to be this season’s runt of the litter) Ping - a social network for music.
Logitech Z305 Laptop Soundbar
Logitech’s Laptop sound bar is a no-brainer way to give any netbook a boost and piss off anyone studying around you. The extremely lightweight unit attaches to the back of the screen. The Bus-powered 360-degree Sound Bar is actually facing away from the user. Logitech says the speaker projects sound more uniformly in all directions. 59. www.logitech.com
iHome iP86 Dual Dock Stereo Triple Alarm Clock Radio
Crash to your favorite playlist and then get up & to class on time with this little desktop jewel. Two universal docks on the iP88 allows you to charge, play, wake and sleep to both your iPhone and iPod. Reson8 speaker technology for full, rich stereo sound. Three independent, configurable alarms can be set up different class schedules and for roommates. 129. www.ihomeaudio.com
OrigAudio Foldable Speakers
Carting speakers around campus isn’t easy - ‘but ya needs to get your tunage on between classes’...That’s why OrigAudio created a speaker so portable, it’s fully collapsible. The battery-free speakers lay flat for travel and then fold into a 7.6-cm cube, which connect to and draws power from any audio device with a standard 3.5mm headphone jack. $20.00 www.origaudio.com
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d e k * * F ey Just
Th
g n o r W e h t h wit n a c i x e M
MACHETE Comes to the Big Screen By Beth Accomando
In 2007, the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino double feature Grindhouse opened with a faux trailer for a film called Machete. The announcer proclaimed, “If you’re going to hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you’d better make damn sure the bad guy isn’t you!” The trailer, with its 70s gritty exploitation sensibilities, set the tone for Grindhouse and immediately had audiences demanding to see the trailer turned into a real feature. And now, three years later, Machete is set to In September with Danny Trejo starring in the title role. The film is a labor of love for Rodriguez who met Trejo in 1995 when he cast him in Desperado. “I remember when we were shooting Desperado and it was in a small Mexican town, people didn’t know who the star of the movie is but everyone would flock to Danny,” Rodriguez said as he introduced Trejo to the crowd at the Machete party off-site at Comic-Con.
Robert Rodriguez, Michelle Rodriguez & Danny Trejo meet with fans & the press at Comic Con in San Diego
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“They thought he was the star,” Rodriguez added, “I would see the looks on people’s faces because he had this iconic face, this iconic look. This was before he was a star, before people knew who he was, and it has not changed. People everywhere just flock to Danny when they see him. So I always wanted that on the big screen. There’s a lot of love from other people he’s worked with. [Steven] Seagal killed him in a few movies of his. [Robert] DeNiro put a bullet in his head in Heat.”
In the film, Trejo plays Machete, a Federale hired by some unsavory types to assassinate a senator. But his employers double cross him and that sets the revenge plot in motion. To help him even the score, he enlists the aid of an old friend played by Cheech Marin. But his friend is now a priest and reluctant to break his vow of nonviolence. Okay, maybe not that reluctant. Carnage ensues and Machete settles the score. Trejo is joined on screen by some ass-kicking women most notably Michelle Rodriguez. She was also at the parking lot Machete party this past July. She thanked the director for the awesome opportunity to “live out that fantasy of just kicking ass and taking names.” But Robert Rodriguez said, he was “raised by five sisters who beat the crap out of me. So strong women are part of my worldview.” And Michelle, sporting an eye patch in the movie, looks to be one strong woman. The film looks like it will live up to its trailer and deliver a kick-ass action film in the 70s grindhouse tradition. So I know exactly where I’ll be on September 3… lined up for a midnight show of Machete.
WATCH THIS
Mesrine
(Music Box Films) France serves up an epic, real life gangster tale. Vincent Cassel finally gets the star vehicle he so justly deserves with this two-part saga about Jacques Mesrine. Mesrine drove French police crazy with his crime sprees and prison breaks during the 1960s and 1970s. Part one is called Killer Instinct, and part two is Public Enemy Number 1. In both Cassel is nothing short of riveting. Plus there’s a wonderful cameo by Gerard Depardieu. Killer Instinct is currently playing at Landmark Theaters. Public Enemy Number 1 opens in September.
MINI REVIEWS
“Everyone came to be a part of this movie to help Danny because Danny was finally going to be where he belonged, front and center””
The Last Exorcism
(Lionsgate) This film has a great hook that it smartly plays for more than half the film. The premise involves a minister who has lost his faith. But he’s willing to perform an exorcism for a documentary film crew in order to debunk the whole process. He comes to an isolated farmhouse to exorcise a young girl and he explains to the camera crew the tricks of his trade from creepy voices to swinging frames. But the first person camera backs the film into a corner from which it cannot escape. Plus a “twist” ending falls horribly flat. A great opening gets wasted. Currently playing in theaters.
Avatar
(20th Century Fox) We do not need more Avatar. I guess James Cameron just felt like he needed some more pocket change so why the hell not re-release his cash cow Avatar with a few extra minutes. This film is only watchable with Rifftrax and the sex scenes were funnier on The Colbert Report. Currently playing in theaters.
The American
(Focus Features) Wow, George Clooney is The American. What a stretch! Clooney plays an assassin out for one last mission in Italy. Along the way he befriends a priest and has a brief romance. The one interesting element is director Anton Corbijn. He made the indie rock biopic Control. Maybe he can bring something fresh to what sounds like a routine formula. Opens September 1.
Centurion
(Magnolia Pictures) The Descent’s Neil Marshall goes back in time to play amongst the ancient Romans and revel in brutal carnage. Marshall’s films seem to be on the descent as he has yet to top his early work -- even though he keeps getting bigger budgets. We’ll see what this period actioner brings. He does have a pair of interesting leads in Michael Fassbender and Dominic West. Opens September 3.
Resident Evil Afterlife (Screen Gems)
This franchise was braindead from the beginning but this latest installment looks to have some genuinely kick-ass 3D effects. Milla Jovovich returns as Alice and guess what, she’s still fighting the evil Umbrella Corporation. Geez, some things never change. Opens September 10.
Revolt In Style Rating System: Revolutionary (Revolt Seal of Approval) Recommended Routine Reserving Judgment (not available) Rejected
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GAMING
PLAY THIS Halo Reach
Xbox360 Halo: Reach, developed exclusively for Xbox 360 by acclaimed developer Bungie, is the blockbuster prequel to the best-selling Xbox franchise of all time. It represents the culmination of Bungie’s 10 years of experience crafting groundbreaking Halo games. In Halo: Reach, players experience the fateful moments that forged the Halo legend. It’s the story of Noble Team, a squad of heroic Spartan so...ldiers, and their final stand on planet Reach, humanity’s last line of defense between the terrifying Covenant and Earth. This darker story is echoed by grittier visuals amid a backdrop of massive, awe-inspiring environments. Characters, enemies and environments are rendered in amazing detail by an all-new engine designed to deliver epic-scale encounters against the cunning and ruthless Covenant.
Metroid Other M Wii
Ninja Gaiden developer Team Ninja takes on one of gaming’s most beloved franchises for this all new Metroid installment. Mixing third-person and first-person action, this highly polished take on the Metroid universe promises plenty of action, classic platforming, and a striking visual style. As the 11th game in the series, Other M is a bizarre collaboration between the Metroid series co-creator Yoshio Sakamoto and Team Ninja of Ninja Gaiden fame. Indeed, “odd pairings” becomes the common thread throughout the game and its clashing dualities extend to the storyline, control scheme and onscreen action.
Mafia II
Xbox360 and PS3 In this highly anticipated sequel, players step into the pinstripe suit of Vito Scaletta, a Sicilian immigrant looking to earn his spot at the top of criminal underworld. The third-person gangster action includes intense shootouts, deadly car chases and enough mob mayhem to please any goodfella, all of which comes to life thanks the game’s stunning cinematic presentation.
Professor Layton and the Unwound Future
Nintendo DS Professor Layton and the Unwound Future™ is the third game in the beloved Professor Layton series of brainteaser puzzles for Nintendo. It places the Professor and his trusted apprentice at the center of a spellbinding adventure after they receive a strange letter sent from 10 years in the future. Wind your way through more than 165 mind-bending puzzles as you decipher clues and strive to unlock a time-twisting mystery that threatens to plunge London into chaos. The story is delivered both through game play and through beautifully rendered hand-drawn cinematics. Layton fans and puzzle fans alike will find the game remarkably addictive.
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IN THE STARS
‘
SCOPES
FRESH... LIKE YOUR MOM Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps. Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease. Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) - You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. You are a worthless piece of shit. Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) - You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick. Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit. Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist. Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini’s are notorious for thriving on incest. Cancer (June 23 - July 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding of other people’s problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won’t be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer. Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.
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