Mine! L'eau et soliel: The patricia and aleya's aesthetic clothing line business

All my Leila Clampiano I Writer Lonely Islands

Every day we wait for Tita Graciella to wake up so we can kill her.

Hmm.. a revelation. I silently lean my back, avoiding any sign of my presence. As I witness this event, all I can do is to occupy myself with all the details. Preventing disregard, I put up my eyes close to it – these mingled pages of words–waiting for another chapter, literally wanting more.

As we pause our normal social interaction, it is ironic to find a free-travel ticket that would take you to places you never knew were possible. With a lucky hand and through the magic of generally cleaning our home, I found this book. All My Lonely Islands – come dive with me.

A crime. That’s how their youth ended. These juvenile souls ran. Hide in an adult facade, only to deliver themselves to the depths of Batanes and finally have their sentence; seeking proper punctuation. A desire for brutal beating coequal to death. Carry themselves, selfishly hoping that maybe then, they are validated to live again.

Crisanta is an only child of a public service doctor. Being religious and having to serve people, they were nomads; they go where the people are. They go where they could be of any help. After spending most of her childhood in Manila, she and her father flew to the realms of Dhaka, Bangladesh. Starting anew with their life, meeting new people in a Protestant church, and going to an international school-– that’s where her life circles around. Until she met Stevan, and of course, Ferdinand.

The conflict begins as the silent rival between Stevan and Ferdinand has started to unfold and flicker. Ferdinand, who is prominent in being the classic bully, took Steven’s prized possession. The sculpture that he worked very hard for. And when you take something so important, you must welcome revenge. Then there’s Crisanta. The school newbie. An obvious member of the outcasts. After getting embarrassed by almost choking herself to death over spicy cafeteria food, she met Stevan. A fellow Filipino. The reason why she played the piano again. The boy who joins her whimsical adventures around their home and her buddy to her slightly naughty humor. Her best friend– and lover. And here is Ferdinand. The boy who puts on a show. The boy who lit up cigarettes but never tried for a hit. The boy, living in a dollhouse. A family of pretense. The boy who was found with illegal drugs in his belongings. The boy who lost his cricket team.

For their cross-country field trip, they took the way to Sundarbans, a wildlife park within Bangladesh. The highlight of the trip is the ‘Lookout Draw’. Five lucky students spend the night in a treehouse, looking out for Bengal tigers. It’s a tradition. The odd was pretty much weird and had them three included. Along with the tour guide, they traveled, and silently watched out the movements of the trees, focusing their hearing on any growl that might eat them after. And so a tiger came. “Run”.

Their field trip is a tragedy. And there is a lie with it. Stevan died. Weeks after, the story has to be told. The Bengal tiger had Stevan. They could not do anything about it. That’s how it ended.

Ten years later, Crisanta and Ferdinand come to Batanes to see Tita Graciella, Stevan’s mother. Lying in a comatose, pale, and tired soul; time is nearly ending. Will they ever be forgiven?

Ferdinand and Stevan fought that day. Endless exchange of mockery. Revealing secrets. Stevan’s revenge. The boy who put the drugs in Ferdinand’s possession. The reason he lost his cricket team. The next thing that Crisanta knew, the boys were shoving themselves with each other, throwing punches, curses, and breathings of exasperation. Ferdinand thrusts Stevan’s face into the river. This is the moment when Crisanta had the strength to stop them. Letting go of Stevan’s face, Crisanta and Ferdinand were both catching up their breaths—one full of fear and one of fury. The moment they look up to see Stevan again, his body is flowing to the speed of the river. They tried. But it was too late.

Graciella never woke up but left a gift for Crisanta. A message was sent years ago but never delivered to her. Ferdinand read it. Loud enough for both of them to hear. Gentle enough to have them be clear. They were in the right place, but it wasn’t Tita Graciella whom they must have for forgiveness. It’s themselves, after all.

VJ Campilan wrote this as her first novel and writing exercise in her MFA fiction class. That’s the only thing written at the back of the book that I can remember. There wasn’t much of an interesting description. Good thing I’ve known her long before that—long before I read the book itself. My sister worked with VJ in a company related to religious context books. The main reason why I have this book is that ate bought it in support of her previous colleague. With too much excitement, ate shared with me bits of interesting facts about her. While reading the book, I slowly realize that this is an impression of her life. She is a shuttered piece of Crisanta. Growing up in a Christian family, moving from place to place, and knowing different stories. This is how she grew. With much love and adventure.

This book is likewise personal to me. From the beginning chapters, Crisanta mirrored my childhood. The spider mafia, patintero, tagutaguan, the colored chicks sold in the town, and even the image of Aunt Rowena waving the broom ready to hit her for going home later than six in the evening. A perfect deja vu. For all the years she spent in Manila, her illustrations were vivid for a child. The tickle and terror of Filipino myth creatures; the kapre and tikbalang—the way these were told mesmerized me.

And then the turning point of moving to another country. A change of culture and lifestyle. A different sight of poverty and dominion. A glimpse not only of Bangladesh but all the cross-cultural countries she had the time to mention from her international school. Then there’s adolescence. A time from which everything matters to us. Popularity, rival, uncontrollable and new emotions, terrifying future, and welcoming young love. Love towards something you are passionate about, platonic friendship, cultural diversity and understanding, empathy towards others, and having this thin line of indifference and concern.

The lie in the Sundarbans is our reality. The frustrating consequence of growing, the decreasing smile and laughter, the petrifying face of death and living—all revealed within that place. And it stayed there for a long time. This is how we become adults.

See, the author gracefully and subconsciously lured me to the abstract of life. A perfect timeline and transition.

Most of all, she started the novel with the love of Crisanta’s father and ended it with Graciella’s apology. The author had shown me two sides of the same coin. The value of being parents and children. The price of deep connection. Realizing the self within yourself. Treasuring adventure, pain, mistakes, regrets, forgiveness, and clarity.

A deserved ransom from a long-inflicted prison.

I don’t recommend you to read this. I’d rather have it on my own. But if you’ve been void for a while, feel these pages and thank me later.

Travel

section