RFD Issue 25 Fall/Winter 1980

CRISIS REPORT When we last reported to you, the fate of RFD was hanging like the proverbial cliff-hanger suspense serial. Well, as you can see, there is another edition (and may there always be).

The response to our appeal has been most heart­ ening and encouraging. There is still a lot to do and a ways to go, but the financial picture is looking a lot better.

While we lost about 58 subscribers thru non­ renewals, we gained 290 mostly from a direct mailing to past subscribers and those in the Fairy Directory. This now gives RFD 500 paying subscriptions. The "free" subs are down to 200.

Donations have been ecual to all other sources of income so that now we have been able to pay off almost $ 1 , 0 0 0 in back bills and loans and still have enough money to go to press with this issue, we have raised the prices to $8.50 and $12.00 upon the recommendations of the Cir­ cle at the Fall Gathering. The cover price has been raised to $3.00 so that book store sales will not be at a loss (and subscriptions will be encouraged).

We are developing a "Consulting Circle" and have already 7 persons confirmed. More than half are in the country and are in GA, N C , VA, F L , M0 and O R .

We arc also working on developing better ex­ posure for RFD especially in the gay press.

For income, we are developing advertising in RFID. However , some of our feedback on that is cautionary that RFD not "sell out" to commer­ cialism. We will guard against that.

There have been several suggestions for fund­ raising events and schemes. We are looking at some, but our energy resources are a bit limited just now. We hope to have a poster available tor the next issue. More ideas and energy are welcome.

You will notice that we have skipped a season.

We gave up trying to catch up from being behind a season and faced the reality that RFD just does not have the resources to get two issues out in two months.

Please note that this is issue #25 and each subscription will receive four issues.

(Subscriptions are by number).

The originally planned "fall" issue with Music and Dance has been put off to spring and is still being done by the group in VA. Thanks to all for the help in the past few months; you have kept a unique voice alive in the gay community. The struggle is not over by any means - RFD will continue to need a lot of help - financial as well as with submissions.

Have a good, warm, cozy winter.

U.S. POSTAL SERVICE STATEMENT OF OWNERSHIP, MANAGEMENT AND CIRCULATION (Required by 39 USC 3685) Dec. 21, 1980 (Issue No. 25). RFD is oublisbed quarterly (four issues oer yea r ). Office of publication is at R t . 1, Box 127-E, Bakersville, NC 23705, and the publisher is the RFD Collec­ tive; the editor is Faygele ben Miriam and the managing editor is Len Richardson.

RFD is owned by G a y Community Social Services, R t . 3, Box 1708, Port Angeles, WA 93362.

There are no bondholders, mortgages or other securities.

Total # of copies printed is 2,300; paid circu­ lation through dealers, carriers and counter sates is 1,320; sail subscriptions are 425; total paid circulation is 1,725; free distribu­ tion by sail, carrier, or other means including samples, complimentary and other free copies is 115. Total dist ribution is 1,860; copies not distributed for office use are ISO; returns fro» news agents are 260; the total is 2,300.

I certify that the above statements made by me are correct and complete.

Faygele ben Miriam, E ditor.

For completion by publishers mailing at the regular rates (See. 132.121, Postal Service Manual) 39 USC 3fe26 provides in pertinent part: "No person who would have been entitled to mail matter under former Sec. 4 539 of this title shall mail such matter at the rates provided under this subsection unless s/he files a n n u ­ ally with the Postal Service a written request for permission to mail matter at such rates.” lr: accordance with the provisions of this sta­ tute, I hereby request permission to mail the publication named in Item 1 at the reduced postage rates presently authorized by 39 USC 3626. Faygele ben Miriam, Editor,

CO/rsiTT/Rff/BlUTTO/R s Franklin Abbott Ronald Alsobrook William Beck Steve Bennett Clover Chango Rick Cole Michael Crane Crazy Owl Michael Cullen Richard Davis Cathy Elliott Jim Frederick Gary Gilman Dianne Glancy Crit Goin Doyle Hall John Paul Hollenbeck John Ron Lambe Rand Lee Jim Long 36, Adam Mars-Jones Michael Mason Dennis Melba'son 10 , Milo Charles Munch Ray Nelson Edward Norman Steve Pallagi Mel Riley Rocky of Running Water William Rogers Sai Ron Schreiber Randy Sly John Soldo Jerry Stamps Stream Don Sunseri Jerry Vandermoss Steve Vanhook Rev. Stephen Von Fauer Tony Young Norman Yelin

70, 85 78 35 33 59 70 36 69, 71 71 76 43 79 71 68

52 48 29, 30 75 86

32, 40 44, 69 73 72 80, 81 51, 56 71 16 38 6 8 , 71 35, 70 80, 81 42 8

71 81 6 8 , 69 34 6 8 . 71 70 70 51 74 69 15

GRAPHICS: Michael Crane Jamal Rand Lee Jim Long Peter of Running Water PHOTOS: Steve Bennett Jim Long Lafe Plumb PRODUCT ION: Ozarks: Steve Bennett Rand Lee Jim Long John Paul Lafe Plumb Jerry Stamps Running Water: Dave Hylander Krisga Peter Rocky Ron

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LETTERS ....................................................... 1 NEWS .......................................................... 5 MEDIA ANNOUNCEMENTS ............................................ p Halloween Fairy Gathering at Bolinas - Sai ................... 8 NEWS OF GATHERINGS ............................................ 9 Excerpts from a Journal Written for a Friend in Prison - Dennis Melba*son .... 10 New York Faerie Circle, August 17, 1980 - Norman Yelin ..... 15 A Personal Report of the Pan Pagan Festival Heltf in Lake Holiday, IN, August 21-25, 1980 - Ray N e l s o n .......... 16 THE OZARKS EXPERIENCE - Gay Men Create a New Order ......... 28 Collective Statement .......................

29 Summer Solstice at Blue Eye (Poem) - John Paul .......... 79 MOVING TOWARD THE MOTHER Bio-Regionalism and Fairy Politics in the Ozarks - John Paul .... 30 Ozark Hillfairy Alliance .............................. 30 Fairy Sanctuary ........................................ 3 1 Ozark Area Community Congress ....................... .

31 View from the Corner - Rand Lee .......................... 37 The Promised Land - Steve Bennett .......... ............. 3 3 Aphrodisiacs - Jerry Stamps .............................. 34 PCETRY - William Beck, Mel Riley .......................... 35 Mykuls Manu (Recipes) ...................

36 Spiritualities for Gays - Edward Norman ....... .......... 38 Herb Garden Primer - Rand Lee ........ ................... 40 Farmsteading - Jim Long .................................. 4 1 Do U Spell Zucchini with One Yuk Or Two? -wm Rogers ..... 42 Reaching the Loneliest Cabin - Rev. Cathy Elliott ....... 43 Apples, Their Care and Keeping - Jim Long ............... 44 Coloring Page ..........

46 Faerie Travel in Ark. - Arkansas Traveler ............... 47 Here Comes the Sun - Steve Vanhook ....................... 5 1 The Axoloti - Gay Totem Animal - Milo .................... 51 A Message from Your Gypsy Shaman - Crit Goin ............ 52 Resources and Services ................................... 54 A Faeryist Not-Man-ifesto - Milo ............................ 56 "Praise the Goddess and Pass the Ammunition" - Clover Change. 59 BROTHERS BEHIND BARS ........................................ 64 REACH ........................................................ 67 POETRY -Franklin Abbott, Rick Cole, Crazy Owl, Michael Cullen, Gary Gillman, Diane Glancy, Jim Long, Michael Mason, Charles Munch, Steve Pallagi, Mel Riley, Ron Schreiber, John Soldo, Stream, Don Sunseri, Jerry Vandermoss, Tony Young ...................................... ....... 68 Educating My Parents - Adam Mars-Jones ...................... 73 HOMESTEADING Composting - Rev. Stephen Von Fauer ...................... 74 Notes From Hermit Hollow - John .......................... 75 Windpower - Do You Need It? - Richard Davis ............. 76 KITCHEN QUEEN ................................................ 78 '*Vegetarianisro" What’s it all about? - Jim Frederick ....... 79 BOOK REVIEWS Pink Triangles - Rocky of Running Water ..... ............ 80 The *81 Lunar Calendar - Dennis Melba*son ................ 80 The Men With the Pink Triangle -Rocky of RW ............. 81 The Soybean Book - Randy Sly ............................. 81 Visionary Love - Dennis Melba'son ......... .............. 81 Heart Centered Consciousness - Franklin Abbott ............. 85 An RFD Retrospective - Ron Larobe ..................

86 Vision Circle Land Trust - A Report for RFD ................. 88 CONTACT LETTERS .............................................. 89 INFORMATION ............................... ... Inside Back Cover

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over the years have stood somewhat separate but actively, passionately involved with the world around them.

Dear RFD & RFDers, To the Editors of RFD: The arrival of RFD is a major event for me. RFD was an im­ portant tool in my discovery of faeriehood.

It's my main connection to all you faeries out there. And when the quality of writing is such as in the last issue (#24), my heart gets to glowing.

(Frank Abbott's Meditation was simp­ ly wonderful.')

RFD helps roe to get beyond the isolation up here in the North­ east Kingdom. At 41 I guess I might be called a late bloomer.

It's only in the past few years that I've been able to make a positive connection with that part of myself we call the faerie.

I am meeting some of you folks who contribute to the magazine.

I am being nourished by your ideas.

I am being touched by your feelings.

At the fall gathering at Blue Heron Farm we were told about RFD's serious financial pro­ blems. The real fact that RFD could die because of a lack of support puts a mighty scare into me. Enclosed are some poems (hope you can use the words - I'm a visual artist by trade) and a check (use it as need be - I wish I could afford to send more ).

Winter is starting here. This morning the ground is thick with new, wet snow (10/27/80).

I still have lots to do before I'm ready - but as I complete these chores I will have more time to try to be a more re­ gular contributor.

I hope we can all connect in some way such as the full moon medita­ tion - to make light in the coming dark days.

Much love & thanks to all of you.

Don Sunseri West Glover, VT

The current issue of RFD (Summer 1980) is excellent.

A truly quality publication which makes a significant statement about who and what truly gay people - fairies, if you will - are. The arti­ cle by Harry Hav on SubjectSubject Consciousness was of particular importance, for it makes a significant statement on the meaning and purpose of being gay and sets forth some clear Dlans and ideas about gay identity.

A person who has been active in the civil rights movement of the past decades commented to me once that gays, as with the Blacks and other minori­ ties, will have to develop their own theology and sociol­ ogy and philosophy if they are to challenge the prevailing norms of sin and/or sickness.

You cannot expect a non-gay person, with rare exceptions, to be interested enough or knowledaeable enough to really care what happens to you.

As one such person, I trust, let me make the following ob­ servations: In the book Word is Out , the text of an appar­ ently very fine TV documen­ tary, the point was made that a homosexual is just like every­ one else, exceot in bed; while a gay person is just like every­ one else in bed, but different and unique otherwise. This is the position of Harry Hay. It is a helpful distinction.

A truly gay person, a fairy, a manly strong but gentle person, neither flamboyant nor macho, but truly himself, will be unique and different, somewhat weird He will not fit into the stifling sameness of clones and fashion freaks; neither will he be bazaar and odd to call attention to him­ self. He will be natural.

He will not seek assimilation in­ to the mainstream of society because that would defeat his uniqueness - even as observant Jews and devout Christians

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The truly gay person - the fairy man - will not be as an Oreo - a white Black man - nor as an Apple - a white Indian nor as a Waxed Fruit - often more pretty than the original but completely inedible. The term "Waxed Fruit" is most aot.

It takes an originally derisive term "fruit" (where did this term come from?) and adds another side to it, a humorous side This is trulv a sign of health and wholeness, the ability to laugh and mock yourself and see your own faults and not just those of others. A Waxed Fruit is a phony, even as an Oreo or an Apple. He is trying to be wha t he is not.

But again, what is a real fruit; a real fairy; a real faggot; a real gay man? Soc­ iety and the general public only see the obvious aberations and the wounded and sick and rotting examples. Seldom are the whole and happy and con­ tented seen.

In recent gen­ erations this has been, of course, because of the fear of persecution and the necessary instinct to survive.

One of the ioys of the aatherings at Running Water Farm is to meet Deoole who are natural and uninhibited but not weird and odd for its own sake.

To return to a comment on Harry Hay's article. The is­ sue is whether you treat peo­ ple as a "Subject", as an "I"; or whether you treat people as an "Object", as an "it". My wife of over 2 0 years recently commented, when we were dis­ cussing a related issue, that women are often attracted to gay men because they are treated as subjects and not as sex-objects. They are initial­ ly attracted by the gentleness and consideration of gay men and are often, then, confused when the sexual response is muted.

'•'hen anyone is viewed as an object they will be used and saueezed and will not be loved and held. People want to be loved and held - be they male or female. No one wants

continued on next page

Dear & Queer Friends,

to be squeezed. Thev want to be in a relationship of "IThou" not of "I-It", to use the terminology of the modern Jewish mystic Martin Buber.

When I am in a relationship of ”I-Thou", I will not become involved in S-M games and bondage and submission rou­ tines; I will hold you gently, firmly free.

I will treat you as I would be treated: with integrity, dignity, and consideration. However, when I am in an "I-It” relationship with you, I will use you and brutalize you and finally throw you away as useless most likely treating you with the same self-hatred that I have for myself .

Therefore, good friends, let us be in an "I-Thou" relation­ ship with each other, let us model open, free, whole lives and become guides for those who are still cowering in the closets of fear, self-hatred and shame. RFD can become such a guide.

A friend from Western NC I. M. Poustinik ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

My name is Jerry and I'm a Homosexual.

If that sounds 1 ike an oocninq to an AA meet­ ing - well that's what this is.

We need to reach out and sup­ port , love and care for each other and the rest of the world.

I realize that sounds like a big job but why not start where each of us can and go from there.

I'm new in the gay culture; not that I'm re­ cently gay, for I have been gay all of my life as everyone is.

I have also been with my mate now for six years. But, this year I got involved with other gay men at the Blue Heron Farm in July.

I was threatened and so I was very orotective at this event.

It was not a big event in my life, but I did get enough nut of it to try another gathering in Sept. Another motivating force was that I was friends with the sponsors and how would it look if I didn’t go.

In Sept, we had the next gathering and I was actually looking forward to it. Thirtyone men arrived and I received one of the highlights of my life.

I was loved and cared for by men; what an amazing phenomenon to experience. We shared, we trusted, we loved and we even cried.

We exper­ ienced what life is meant to be. We talked about how we as gay men have a specialness which is our ability to be warm, loving and sensitive, and that this soecialness is a gift that we can share with others be they gay or straight.

My point is that this specialness is a gift but that it is also a responsibility to use this gift in a constructive manner.

I would like to en­ courage all of us to be more aware of this responsibility and to seek ways to fulfill this wonderful gift that has been given to us.

I'm very thankful for the awareness that has come and is coming to me since that Sept, gather­ ing.

So I offer a very Special Thank You to the 31 men who were the tools to my re-awak­ ening. Love to you and love to all of u s .

Jerry Noakes Rt 1 Box 144 Dekalb, NY 13630

-JSU 3

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Representatives from more than 40 foreign countries as well as many Indian nations gath­ ered this summer for the 19BO Black Hills Survival Gathering in South Dakota. Ten days of discussion on the political, practical, and visionary as­ pects of survival have/ been distilled into four 90-minute tapes in White Buffalo Multi­ media's "Education for Survi­ val" Series -- Nuclear Power & the Endangered Human Species; Multinational Corporations & You; Environmental Pollution & the Point of No Return; and American Indian Perspectives on Human Extinction.

25% of the proceeds from these tapes is committed to the Black Hills Alliance, the sponsors of the gathering.

Available from; White Buffalo Multimedia, PQ Box 73, Woodstock, NY 1249B. Single tapes $9.50; set of 4 $35.00

More Letters An Open Utter Chicago:

to Joe-from -

(Note: Joe wrote? me a letter just after the summer issue was sent out. He asked me several questions about our lifestyle and remarked that he was about to make the bio move to Kentucky.

I thought it would be fun and valuable to share my thoughts and an swers with the rest of the RFC family. [ feel like Dear Abby ... HaHa 1 ) Dear Jo«: Glad to hear that someone else is joining the ranks of those of us who have finally said BYE-BYE to the noise, the dirt, and the dependencies brought about bv big-city liv­ ing. And do n ’t worry, you will make it'.

Your initial question concern­ ed how we get bv without elec­ tricity, especially for lights.

You mentioned that kerosene might not be adequate because of its low light output.

We do very well without elec­ tricity. And one of the rea­ sons is that I realize full well that many millions of people today are living quite well without monthly PGE bills.

And millions lived quite well prior to the invention of the light bulb.

It really is a humbling thought to realize that we got to where we aretoday based on the struggles and accomplishments of our ancestors who had not the benefit of electricity or gasoline, or even television'.

Those folks did alright. They used the resources provided them, and progressed until the next innovation came a 1 on g .

So we are backstepoino today.

We are going "back" to the davs prior to lOO-watt l.ohts and electric typewriters.

I am not saying that we can run

the world in this manner, but we can run our own lives this way. And that, of course, is where it's at on a day-to-day basis.

You say, Joe, that you would need three lamps just to read at the table. Perhaps.

I know when I first started to use kerosene I felt the same way. I'd line ’em up and crouch dost'.

But the human body is so nicely adapt­ able! Today it's one lamp or no lamp and I think nothing of it. (I am blown away when I visit the city and see every corner of the room lit up brightly.

Such over-indul­ gence we are led to believe is normal'.) I used to think I could go blind until I asked a good eye doctor and was reassured that the level of light relates only to comfort and not to possible eye damage.

It is comforting in mv head (if not my arms) to use the hand tools, treadle sewina machine, and winduo clock.

And that is imnortant to a man reachina for self-suf­ ficiency. The more self we put into survivino, tht more gratifying life can be. There is tremendous reassurance in knowing that downed Dower lines mean nothing to me or ever-increasing Dower rates won't cut into my food money.

Depend on those resources provided you, just as the Indians did, the settlers did, and lots of people still do: wind can turn a windmill, water a pelton wheel.

A still will produce alcohol (for burning) from veqetation you grow yourself.

Yes, we still depend on the laundromat for clothes washing, but that has to end soon.

Just another dependency, it is. We'll net used to tht washboard and tub OK. Or maybe I'll invent a better wav, who knows? But I do know it car be done, because it HAS been done. Remember, self-sufficiencv was never the' invention of the 70*s.

It is only an alternative for tht 80's, and forever.

You asked what prompted us to give up the "pleasures" of the city and move to rural North California.

Well, if you knew Dave, you'd follow him anywhere'. Actually, it was a very long and gradual process for me. Over the 4

years (gee, I'm only 30'.) I went from total City to "notcity-within-the-city", to bigcountry living (300-acre farm, with HUGE machinery) to this little piece of quiet country with the man I love.

Yes, some people think we're crazy. But really now, who's the crazy ones? Commute two hours to get to work. Bars on the windows.

Street gangs.

The grocery store is closed.

Gas lines. Concrete.

Safe­ way produce. Keep Off The Grass.

Sunrises. Fresh air.

"Howdy neighbor'." Jump in the pond. The tick of the clock. The woods never close.

Stars at night. The land.

Joe, don't ever let anybody think you're crazy. They are the crazy ones. And I sorta think they know it too. But they won't admit it. So many people are trapped by those "necessities" of life that they have lost all touch with what life really is. Unfor­ tunately those people are really knowing death, and a slow one at that.

Congratulations, you are about to come alive! And it is soooo fun!

If you are going to be "..the only Gay person in Hart County, Kentucky” as you think you might be, let me put money against that. Brother, we ARE everywhere! And we are in Hart County too, better believe it.

(All you Hart County boys, are y'all lis­ tening out there? Joe's coming to see y a .) I am just tickled pink to meet some of the Humbolt County Gay men and hear about all those others that I haven't met yet. Go gett’em, Joe! Keep our address handy and drop a line when you get settled.

HUGS , Randy Krahn Bridgeville, CA

+ + + SPONSORING CUBAN REFUGEES UPDATE (Information from John Paul Hollenbeck, Gay Community News & Nat l Gay T#asH Force). Sponsor <T forapproximately 600 Lesbian and Gay male refugees at Fort Chaffee, AK as well as jobs, clothing, money and legal services for refugees are still needed.

Some have spe­ cial needs. Although most are like U.S. Gays and are urban-oriented, some have agricultural experience and desire relocation in a rural area; also there are couples who do not want to be split up.

30-40% are Black, some are effeminate, and most speak very little English. But all have high moti­ vation for learning the new language, and most iust want to fit into their new communities. For info, on sponsoring a refugee, contact: Joseph Fragga, Human Relations Coordinator, U.S. Dept, of State, Barracks 1598, Fort Chaffee, AK 72901. ★★★★★★★★ NORTH AMERICAN MAN/BOY LOVE ASSOC. WORKS TO FREE ANOTHER VICTIM Gay activist and NAMBLA member David Groat of Pittsfield, MA was convicted and sentenced recently to a 2-yr. sentence in the Berkshire Cty. House of Correction for having consensual sex with a teenage boy. "The State of Massachusetts has again used its reactionary age-of-consent and anti­ sex laws to crucify a boy lover and in this instance there is no doubt that thn sex act involved was freely chosen by both and harmful to no one; by no reasonable standard could it be considered 'rape and abuse of a child', since no force, rape, or abuse occurred," wrote NAMBLA's David Thorstad and Bob Rhodes.

"We are also shocked and outraged bv the judge's sentence of 2 vrs.

It not only deprives him of his liberty but also endangers his personal safety and perhaps even his very life.

It is well known that boy lovers are often assaulted, raped, and sometimes murdured by other in­ mates while in prison." NAMBLA has helped form the David Groat Defense Fund, c/o Berkshire Cty. Gay Coalition, PO Box 15^2, Pittsfield, MA 01202, which needs contributions to help nay for his court appeal. For more info, on man/boy love write to: NAMBLA, PO Box 174 Midtown Sta., New York, NY 10018.

NGTF LAWSUIT IN OKLAHOMA TO PROTECT GAY TEACHERS, THEIR ASSOCIATES AND SUPPORTERS In Oct., 1980 the NGTF filed a suit in Oklahoma City challenging the constitutionality of a 1978 state law that prohibits the employment by OK school systems of homosexuals or any person who advo­ cates gay rights. Known as the Helms Bill, it resembles the Briggs Initiative or Proo. 6 that was soundly defeated by Calif, voters in 1978 and is a "patently discriminatory niece of legislation that singles out Lesbians and Gay men and any school employee associating with us for harassment and abuse", comments NGTF's Lucia Valeska.

"It is an attack on every school employee's fundamental livelihood, especially those who are Gay." William Rogers, attorney for the action, noted: "That any citizen is denied the right to teach or practice any profession or hold any job because of sex­ ual orientation is intolerable." For more info, contact: Shirley Barry, ACLU of <~K (405)524-8511. ★★★★★★★★ THE MORAL MAJORITY AND THE IMMORAL MINORIT IES The self-righteous MM threaten the U.S. Bill of Rights by attempting to impose prayer in the public schools, to ban legal abortions, to outlaw porn, to "clean up"TV and films, and to extinouish the Lesbian/Gay liberation flame. The Cincinnati Integrity Newsletter of Dec. 1980 states: "We simply cannot and will not go back into the closets after tasting liberation." It urges us to support our organizations the way fundamentalist Baptists support theirs -- to the tune of MM's millions o: $$$.

It is quite evident that "out" Lesbians/Gays and our organizations have our work cut out for us: it is also evident that those who feel they must stay closeted will have to be more generous contribu­ tors than they have been.

"SEXUAL ORIENTATION" OMITTED FROM POLICE BRUTALITY REGULATION "We are disturbed by this omission in light of the history of adverse police-Gay community relations in too many communities throughout the country," NGTF wrote to the U.S. Dept, of Justice.

Specific incidents of police brutality have occurred recently in Houston, Boston, Oklahoma City and Sarasota, FL. The regulation already bans police agencies from inflicting physical abuse or summary punish­ ment because of race, color, religion, national origin or sex. NGTF, confident that J. Edgar would have understood, urges every Lesbian/Gay who is a victim of police brutality to report the incident to the local office of the FBI, adding, "We know that complaints are the key element in our effort to focus federal attention on police abuse of Gay people." Fairies, support women to take back the night. Support each other to recover our lives.

NO MONEY TO DEFEND QUEERS ★ ★ AAA ★ ★ ★ On July 22, the U.S. House of Reps, passed an amenriment which states: "That no part of this appro­ priation shall be used by the Legal Services Corp. to provide legal assistance in promoting, defen­ ding or protecting homosexuality." Its sponsor, Larry McDonald (D-GA) said, ". . .the U.S. Congress should not spend a penny of taxpayers’ dollars to support, defend, protect or legitimize the prac­ tice or acts of homosexuality. . ."

Perhaps a letter to your Congressperson is in order, as the amendment means that low-income Lesbians and Gay males will no longer be able to contest job/housing7 custody discrimination and other injustices and defenses through legal services paid for by our taxes.

5

M e d ia

nnouncemc nts education exploration center

Vortex, a new quarterly arts journal, is a forum for artists and writers seeking and explor­ ing new ways of relating to spirituality, politics, nature, sexuality and vision. Women, gay men, youth, alternative and experimental artists - all people and visions suppressed in ths society will be pub­ lished in Vortex - both known and new artists.

Issue #1 was published for fall 1980. The contents in­ cluded "Nightstick", a Novel­ ized Account of The May 21 Riots" by Steve Marks and "A Call For Fairy Sanctuaries"

by Harry Hay and John Burnside edited by Bradley Rose as well as a selection of poetry.

Issue #2 can be obtained by writing Voxtex/Boyheart Enter­ prises, P 0 Box 11622, San Francisco, CA 94101. A con­ tribution of a dollar or more is requested. Every copy will contain a reply device asking readers to share feedback.

RED welcomes this emerging voice for new visions.

Gay Voices On Tape An oral history of the Spirit­ ual Gathering for Radical Fairies in Colorado, August 11-15, 1980 is available on a series of 1 2 cassette tapes entitled The Fair ies Gather .

Information on these tapes as well as other tapes on gay themes can be obtained by sending a stamped self-addres­ sed long envelope to: Raven's Head Communications, P O Box 11472, San Francisco, CA 94101.

A group called educational exploration center (eec), P O Box 7339 Powderhorn Sta­ tion, Minneapolis, MN 55407 is compiling teaching mater­ ials for an anthology: Teach ing And Learning About Les­ bians And Gays (working title).

"The audience for the book is progressive to 'middle of the road' teachers, counselors, parents, administrators, youth workers and students." If you have writings to offer or would like more information, write Polly Kellogg at the above address.

TAYU ORDER Tayu Order, a Gay spiritual order with roots dating back thousands of years, announces the formation of Tayu Fellow­ ship, a spiritual fellowship open to all Gay men and women consciously dedicating their lives to the path of Truth.

Gatjellow Pages Gayellow Pages for USA and Canada This 288 page updated 1981 (eleventh edition) directory of businesses, services, pub­ lications, organizations, etc. for gay men and lesbians is now available in bookstores in almost every state and province for $6.95 ($8.50 Canada), or by mail for $8.00 ($9.00 outside North America) from Renaissance House, Box 292 Village Station, New York, NY 10014.

FAIRY MAGIC: a gay networking newsletter of emergent sub ject SUBJECT consciousness is stru­ ggling to be born. By the time this sees the light of print , the first issue should long be out. For a sample copy send $1 to Fairy Magic, C/O Win. Shepardson, P.0. Box 401, Boise, ID. 83701. (Make checks out to Mn. Shepardson).

Members of the Fellowship re­ ceive Ganymede, a Gay spiritual journal published quarterly, which contains articles, spir­ itual instruction, and infor­ mation about workshops, social gatherings, and other activi­ ties of the Fellowship or of interest to members.

With each issue, members also receive a separate listing con­ taining the names, addresses (or other way to contact) and personal information about other members of the Fellowship who wish to contact or be con­ tacted. Members of the Fellow­ ship are encouraged to meet and/or correspond, and thereby exchange insights and experien­ ces. Local, regional and na­ tional meetings of the Fellow­ ship are held periodically.

For more information, contact: Tayu Fcllowshio, P O Box 42555, San Francisco, CA 94101.

6

The Fairie Directory is com­ posed from the voluntary sign­ up list which was available to participants at the 1980 Spir­ itual Gathering of Radical Fairies in Colorado this past August.

In addition, Addendum # 1 has been compiled from sub­ sequent regional gatherings around the country. Both contact source books are available for $5.00 or $3.00 for the directory alone; and $3.00 for the addendum alone.

Order from: Bill Hill, Box 472, Fairfax, CA 94930

reCloset

A gay theater has opened in downtown Baltimore this fall.

A gay comedy entitled, A Per fee t Relat ionship by Dor ic Wilson was performed in late October. The second produc­ tion is Jane Chambers' A La te Show being performed in late November.

For information on the current production write: Theatre Closet, 241 West Chase St., Baltimore, MD 21201.

\kcts3m BthunlfyisrnWalls "Writing For Rights, Voices From Behind Prison walls" is a quarterly packet of writings being put together by the sis­ ters of Muncy Prison.

It is planned to begin in the fall of 1980. Donations of money and/or stamps are requested.

To receive the sister's news­ letter, write: Evalina Everidge 1508 Gallatin St. NW, Washing­ ton, DC 20011. A donation of $ 1 is appreciated.

Gaydreams Our Own is a monthly newspa­ per published by the Unitar­ ian Universalist Gay Communi­ ty in Norfolk, VA. It is a valuable source of informa­ tion on gay events and news for all those living in this corner of the southeast.

Twelve issues cost the volun­ teer staff $7.80 to produce.

They appreciate a donation of at least $ 6 .0 0 to help cover postage. Please send more if you can, less if you need to.

Make checks payable to UUGC, 739 Yarmouth St., Norfolk, VA 23510.

a ) <X> OT

"Gaydreams" is a gay and les­ bian radio show broadcast from Cincinnati on WAIF (88.3 FM) on Saturdays at noon.

Moderator John Zeh describes the show as a magazine of music, news, poetry and come­ dy which he hopes can spread the word about what's going on in the gay community and "spotlight the struggle and celebration of gay activits and promote gay artists and entertainers". Gay dreams celebrated its third birthday in October.

On Oct. 14, 1980, the first anniversary of the National March on Washington for Les­ bian and Gay Rights, a docu­ mentary record album of the event was released by Magnus Records.

"The record album was produced by Adam Ciesielski and Jok Church in asso­ ciation with Alternate Publish ing to document the march, to ensure the event has continued life, and to make sure gay/ lesbian history is not rewrit­ ten as is so often the case."

The record will be sold by mail order, in rttail record shops and by nay/lesbian or­ ganizations as a fund raising tool. A portion of the re­ ceipts from the sales of the March LP will be donated to the national committee for repayment of national debts still lingering one year af­ ter the march.

For more information contact Alternate Publishing, 15 Hamet St., San Francisco, CA 94103

® CA) ( a ) <a >Q s) CX> GN

Materials from’-

HCW GAY IS YOUR LIBRARY? A pamphlet of tips for the non­ librarian on how to get gay materials into libraries is now available from the Gay Task Force of the American Library Association.

(Jay Task Force, American library Association (Social Responsibilities Round I able) Box 2383, Philadelphia, PA 19103. Coordinator: Barbara (,i»tinj{s (215) 471-3322. *

*

*

*

#

A GAY BIBLIOGRAPHY (6 th Edition, 1980) is a selective non-fic­ tion list of 563 items in 16 pages. Books, articles and pamphlets are grouped under topical headings: Law and Civ­ il Rights, Human Sciences, Gay/ Called Censored, Ignored, Over­ Lesbian Movement, Religion, looked, Too Expensive? How To Literature and the Arts, History Get Gay Materials Into Libraries, and Biography, and General. the panohlet explains library There are separate sections for selection policies in a general Periodicals (213 titles), for way and tells what an individual Films and Filmstrips (which are or a group can do to get a lib­ annotated) and for Bibliographies rary to buy more gay books and and Directories (i.e., other periodicals. There are also lists ). sections on what to do if the Pr ices : library refuses your reouest, 1 or 2 copies, $ 1 each on why gay books are sometimes kept where you have to ask for 3 to 9 copies, 85c each 10 or more copies, 70c each them, and on donating materials to the library.

Cost is $1.

7

HANDY BRIEF LISTS Gay Aids for Counselors Gay Materials for Use in Schools Gay Resources for Religious Study Above lists: 15C each Gay Materials Cor e Collection List Gay Teacher s Resources A Short be sbian Reading Lis t Above lists: 10c each Also available: Gay Subjects, Special For­ mats: Books and Per i odicals for the B 1 ind and Physically Handicapped Print edition, 7 5c. Cassette and braille editions available write for details.

%iHoioeen fa in / Gathering a t Bo linos bq S

ol

At the first Bay area gathering after Colorado, only 1 0 days, but too much is not enough’ . and Goddess get me back in the arms of the circle again - we are invited, for Halloween, to a farm in coastal Bolinas. There the matter rests, except that individuals kept and passed the word: All Hallow’s on the beach at Bolinas.

Forget and depart the city's hassles, -join fairies together in another land.

(Bolinas is a little 'bove sea level piece of the Pacific Plate, bumped up the coast from Mexico over the ages - another place, indeed.)

We must first of all costume, don paint and glitter. The small farm house grows packed and hot and buzzing...suddenly the word is passed, zigzag in a trice, it's time...time to go...to the beach!

The swarm turned on its headlights and drove off, bells clanging, flute twittering, shouts bright in the clear night's air. ('Twas not exactly dark, that night - it was a lumi­ nous, starry black that showed distinctly plain to fairy eyes. Save for one who wandered off & about for three hours, absolutely and most pleasurably lost.)

A thought occurs to me about fairy eyes.

I'll interrupt the tale a moment - nothing's happen­ ing in it for weeks yet anyway - to talk of fairy eyes. One of the special joys of the gatherings of sissy/hippie/faggot/fairy men is ...well, knowing that I'll only be seen by those shining kindred eyes... that understand already without words 'cause they've been there, they are there, they are here, too. Those dis­ criminating soft feeling eyes...that nurture with a gaze and bless with a glance.

Oh, those eyes'. that affirm my fantasies and add their touch to make them manifest.

Shining eyes, gem eyes glittering, eyes of joy and transport. Go for it; they urge. Here it is, they offer.

Fairy eyes.

It is Samhain - the end of the year, the last of the harvest - the night of the journey down under - night of death, whose void gleams in Pan's eyes - the right of return.

We approached the ocean, afoot in broken pro­ cessional, through a triangular break in the coastal hills, a dark vulva leading to the stony wrackstrewn beach curving to the right before Bolinas Bay. we walked and stumbled over to a forested cove. There, around the edge's of a drv storm's sandy delta, we camped and made fire.

It is appropriate to ouard the circle with potencies: the circle within the triangle within the circle within the triangle, tantric symbol of the union of opposites and perfect interpenetration.

One of us put notice of our Halloween in a monthly gay calendar.

Another offered to take calls. No more planning nor acting was done.

Just passing the word that we would meet - and we would make there what we made and do what we would do. Really; I wondered what to sav to an anonymous caller asking what it'$ all about and what activities were planned Actually, such calls worked out well. The fairies among the callers lept up at hearing we had no plans, only visions. A rush of their own dreams and visions would pour through the ethers, by pass­ ing the telephone all together. There's just no cable network for heartspace transmission.

The a ffa ire might have been made more splendid with more work and planning - not that l_ wanted to do more. The hoped for bonfire was more a camp fire, and no sweat came together despite the presence of all the necessary elements.

The affaire was however. . .very effective.

I came as Persephone - aware of her story - in a flowered, flowing dress and train.

Silk flow­ ers in my hair, golden and green glitter trac­ ery on my face, with touches of copper - a trellis work of brightness. The swa1lowtailed train floated, now veil, now caoe, now scented breeze - for, of course, I smelled of attar of roses. There was a tall leprechaun in oenitentials, his face wildly marked half bloodred half dark gray clay. His journey down into the underworld on this year's end night is as a marriageable adult - a rite of oassage into a new condition. sackcloth, ashes, and bipod.

I mean our costumes did not gently suogest where an exc 1 ama ti on might do. r>an carac _ ^e_ coratively horned and furred and clothed not at all. The Cernunnos Shawl flew over us, and we circle-swayed like ripe grain before the torna­ do. The Corn King wore green velvet, decked and trimmed with glistening gold. Cat familiars purred or stalked.

Ocean came as a nymph to skimmer and undulate 'bout the fire. Cheerlead­ ers, nuns of perpetual delight - clown paint, rhinestones, pearls and Celtic war paint.

Then, suddenly, it's only days until the 31st'.

A huge flurry of action - maps xeroxed and mailed and signs discreetly attached at turns along the way. At circles and in calls we af­ firm amongst ourselves that we will be in B o ­ linas - and arrange rides and departures.

No one is "doing it" for anyone else, and we're all bound to be there at the Fairy Samhain, all Hallow's Eve rite and beachparty.

On the Eve, after nightfall, some fifty of us had gathered on the farm, dressed, areeted, and made provision. The ordination of those verbs is deliberate...clothes-garments-robes of fan­ tasy - these are our talisman for the iournev, frames and guide to movement appropriate to the personae we were.

"You can learn more wearino a dress for a day than a suit for a lifetime."

Continued on next page 3

"News of Gatherings

Crowded together , encircled we sang and danced and chanted - howled and surfed beneath the stars and moved to the great inner beat of ocean. Danced our stories, howled our wordless agonies; we keened through spacetime more sharp than laser or knives. Called Goddess, called heroes; named our'selves and the night. A new ourificatory rite was done - sand hurled into the flames, anger shouted, and fire-rage de­ voured. Hand magic avalanches of sand flung into the fire threaten to overwhelm our only source of heat and light. But we have each other's body', and we are lit by starshine.

And, the journey down in is anyway cold and dark; and still the sand torrents on the fire'.

pocerit

Past

We include notice of them here to enable others nearby to connect with local groups.

Peace, surcease at last - some scatter to gar­ ner fuel, others hunker down closer in to hear stories, to touch, to sway to softly sound echoes, to laugh, to feel, to reconnoiter old woundscars in the healing of this peace.

Some sleep, some love and sleep, some keep watch and guard the flame. The quarter moon rises late, and dawn's promise overtakes her before her path's half traversed. After the soft, clear colors of the dawning, gray and foggy clouds chilled and finally urged the most of us to leave. We made our way back around the shore line - seeing and smelling new marvels the tide had brought. The purples, browns, reds and oranges of kelp and seaweed set off the pearly shells 'mid rocks and sand. Final hugs and kisses back at the farmyard. Then fairies wan and slow, now that the paint'd worn thin, now that Pan & Dionysus had supped and roister­ ed and gone - flew wearily home.

The Friends of Mandala (Dec. '80 to Jan. '81) Contact: David Johnstone Mandala Chowan Creek UK 1 24 84 NSW Australia

A Prairie Celebra­ tion of Lesbians & Gay Men (Oct. 10-13'80) Metamorphosis Planning Committee Box 7508 Saskatoon, Sask.

Solstice Frolic for Gentlemen Fairies (Dec. 19-21 *80) Norman 833 Richardson Lane Cotati, CA 94928

Winter Solstice Gather­ ing in Asheville (Dec. 20 '80 to Jan. 1) Mikel Wilson 115 Mont ford Ave. Asheville, NC 28801

Pbssthle

Gfutuzc Gatherings Inter-Mountain West New York Snow Faeries Gathering (Feb. 1-3 ’81) Gathering with Land for Montana, Idaho, Trust Circle (Feb. 14 *81, around NY?) Wyoming, Utah, Nevada & surrounding areas Aro (Bill Hill) William Shepardson or 141 Lansdale Eric Hanks Fairfax, CA 94930 432 South 11th St. OR Boise, Idaho 83702 Tom Seidner or call: (208)384-9260 c/o Borealis Bookstore 416 Eddy St. Ithaca, NY 14850

The effects of that journey, in such company, at that time only now come clearer to me. Block­ ages dissolve. Energies shimmer, and merge, and change.

I am elated in new freedom and strength and joy - and chastened once more to remember to pay attention to what is, to be in the moment, wholly of the moment.

Dreams and wishes do come true; the word need only be spoken and is manifest.

Matters become clear, attachment and attendant crazy pain drop off.

Even now, nearly a week after the event, I feel whole and true and homodyned into a fairy-self­ brother-lover circle.

Persephone's gown and floral circlet hang dedicatorial beside a Cernunnos shrine. He sits solid on the earth, of­ fering symbols of freedom, hope, rebirth, and wisdom. Lord of the animals ... Perceiver of Truth... Possessor of the Horns of giving and receiving...bright self, darkself, I hail you.

Isis. Astarte. Diana. Hecate. Demeter. Kali.

Inanna. Blessed be.

Scheduteri Gatherings

A Gathering of Gay Men in Atlanta (Feb. 6 - 8 '81) at the First Existentialist Church 470 Candler Park Drive, Atlanta, Georgia Faerie circles 11 pm Fri. and 10 aro Sat. to set agenda. Films and a fire ritual Sat.night; Sun. brunch with a Faerie fashion show.

Accomodations available at the church or in nearby homes. Bring a sleeping bag and plate, cup & utensils. Meals prepared at the church & communal.

You can bring food to share or send $. A collection will be taken to cover gathering costs. Pre-registration helps us, especially if you're arriving on public trans­ portation, coming early or staying late.

Pre-registration/contributions may be sent to: Frank Abbot, 1422 Iverson St., N E , Atlanta, GA 30307 . . . OR CALL: Jim (404) 373-3764; Bill (404 ) 378-0917; Frank (404)524-1465; during the gathering the church # is (404) 378-5570.

Qict hoc&u\z fu> P .O

Box 556R D

Su sse x. N J 074 61

9

( E x c e r p t s f r o m Journal W rit for 2LJ r lend in prison

August 8,/980, Friday Ueace&t£jnvvj,

by'Dennis Welba

Judging from the angle of the sun as I write, I'd guess it to be early afternoon. The morning was spent building or cushioning our nests. And greeting other Fairies as they flutter in from Denver.

Some are friends from last year’s Gath­ ering and others are new to us. Already I've met two Fairies from Fayetteville, Arkansas, who knew of me when I lived there but were in their closets then and so never came-out. They're out now !

Writing somewhere over Texas, up in the air in more ways than one, surrounded by Polyester Plastic Americans on my way to a Great Fairy Gathering. Besides my customary six golden earrings, I'm wearing a T-shirt that bears the legend: WOMEN HOLD UP HALF THE SKY. And around my shoulders unused to air-conditioning I'm wearing a multicolored shawl I finished crochet­ ing recently. No one will look at me.

I am invisible. Fairy Majik.

I love it'.

We're in the Pike National Forest in a recrea­ tion area that, for a small fee, can be reserved The Gathering site has been reserved in the name of the Fey Family.

(Fey is an old Norman French word for "fairy". ) The site is staggeringly beautiful.

Aspen, birch, and pine trees sur­ round us, and just below where we're camped is a clear mountain stream which, however, we can­ not drink out of.

I haven't taken any photos yet.

I'm stupidly intimidated by cameras.

I was just working up my nerve to overcome this silly fear when an afternoon rainshower sent me scurrying into the tent to write you.

Dimid called early yesterday morning from O'Fal Ion, Missouri, a small town outside St. Louis.

Poor Sissybus developed a serious pain in its valves and had to be left there with a car doc­ tor. Since they were traveling in caravan, everything was transferred to other vehicles and Sissybus was left in the VW hospital - which is gonna cost us about $500. Gasp!

Luckily we have the money, but it looks now as tho I’ll probably return to New Orleans and back to work (where?) sooner than anticipated. Ah, well... so be it. Most people don’t get more than a two-week vacation anyway, so who do I think I am to take a month'.

One reason I'm reluctant to bring the camera out is that I'm looking so intently at all about me in order to transmit this energy to you, in prison. Far from letting thoughts of you being in there bring roe down, thoughts of you always bring me up, no matter where you are.

The rain has stopped. And the trucks have ar­ rived at the main Gathering site with the large tents and cooking stuffs and the various lifesupport systems we'll need for the week.

Fair­ ies are needed down the mountain to unload and pitch and stir about.

I'm taking the camera.

And I'm taking you with me everywhere I go.

Think I'll try and nap for awhile, darling.

Suddenly I'm exhausted. Later.

I love you.

August 10,1980, Sunday

Till later, darling.

________________________________________________________________________

August 11,1980, Monday

And the Fairies gather - from all over, the far­ thest so far from Norway and Australia.

The caravan - two VW's, a van and a bug - from Flo­ rida, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Kansas, bearing nine Fairies, including Dimid and Auro­ ra, arrived in Denver late Saturday afternoon and spirited me off to the Gathering site.

It was dark when we arrived here, but OzCar, the van (I was riding in Bluebell, the bug), led us to a majikal clearing. And there we camped.

Fairies helped me pitch my tent, which is amaz­ ingly simple even in the dark.

(I already have visions of our camping in it next spring when you're home.)

Early afternoon.

Stacy just arrived.

First time LASIS has been together since last April.

So many changes...so much to catch u d on...so many plans to make...and such a joyous reunion!

And I'm learning how to take photographs ... I think. At least I'm trying.

I've never owned a camera or taken pix before becoz I've always preferred to capture the scene in my mind rath­ er than look at it thru a viewfinder. My favo­ rite shot so far (I hope it comes out!) is of Gay Claude in his new drag.

10

And that is my prayer, Great Mother, as I pull my shit together and head down the mountain to the opening Fairy Circle.

A coupla years ago Stacy (whose "legal" name is Robert - Bob) decided that for his birthday he wanted a Gay Bob doll.

So we bought him one. He came dressed in blue jeans, plaid flannel shirt, and cowboy boots. He was re­ named Gay Claude in honor of the large avenue near us, which in Old New Orleans was called the rue d'Amour - the Street of Love. The jeans and shirt didn't last long. He went with us to the Fairy Gathering last year dressed in a sarong - we were in the desert, after all and covered in Mardi Gras beads. This year we decided he needed something a little warmer.

So I crocheted him a ball gown (with a train, yet'.) and a shawl.

Someone has place him on the gnarl of a tree over the rigged-up basin and mirror where Fairies will be shaving those of us who shave, that is.

So there sits Gay Claude, in the main area of the encampment, greeting all arriving Fairies.

And they're arriving by busloads.

A shuttle service of different vans, including QzCar, make hourly runs down to the main highway to pick up Fairies unloading from the rented buses out of Denver. The buses can't make it up the mountainous dirt road leading to the site which turns out to be far less "primitive" than I expected.

A local Gay motorcycle club has set up all the cooking and bathing facilities.

They've even brought up two propane-generated hotwater heaters, so we shower in warm water'.

The kitchen stuff is coming in this afternoon, as it turns out, so tonite we'll have our first group dinner and the opening Fairy Circle.

Which now has ended. And the Goddess sent -us Her sign. At the end of last year's closing Circle, as Fairies were packing their wings to depart, a desert rainstorm blew up and blessed us with five minutes of cooling water.

And when the storm had passed, the Goddess put a double rainbow in the sky as a sign of blessing on our labors over that Labor Day weekend. And tonite, almost a year later, just after we'd finished eating and before tht first Circle was called, there appeared in the sky, spanning the mountain peaks, a double rainbow.

I feel the strongest force on this Gathering will not be Harry Hay, the "aranddaddy of Gay Liberation," but a visionary Fairy shaman nam­ ed Mitch Walker. There are rumors afloat of an open split between the two of them.

I am hop­ ing that we gathered Fairies can prevent that happening and heal the wounds between them.

Harry is a strong, noble, courageous Fairy who has fought openly against Gay oppression for over 30 years, often at the risk of his life and livelihood. He has suffered much pain at the hands of the Boys , and he deserves all our honor and respect.

Harry is a Survivor. And he does not have the Final Word or the Ultimate Vision. No one "leads" Fairies.

And then the Circle began. We left the main eating area.carrying candles and, to the sound of tinkling bells, cymbals, and drums, slowly flew a short way up the mountain to a large grassy knoll. And there we circled - about 250-300 Fairies from (literally) all over. The spirits of absent Fairy brothers were invoked and your name was sung loudly into the Circle.

The spirits of Fairy brothers in prisons and mental hospitals and schools were shouted and sung into the air. We chanted and sang and in­ voked the many names of the Goddess and the Horned God. And in the now-darkened sky above us a meteor shower lit uo the nite. Another sign...another blessing.

Harry is nearing, if not into, his 70s. He looks on me in much the same way I look on those twenty years my junior - for I am nearing my 50s. It's a strange position for me to be in, and I'm learning alot. Harry's visions are practical, political, pragmatic. Mitch's are mystical, sexual/spiritual, and healing.

Wt need all of both their visions equally. Mitch has come to this Gathering bearing the first eight copies off the press of a book h e ‘s writ­ ten called Visionary Love: A Spir i t Book of Gay Mythology. He gave LASIS one of those copies.

Mitch has been on this site, camping out, for almost a week before today, the opening of the 1980 Spiritual Conference for Radical Fairies.

These woods, the very boulders, are imbued with his Fairy power.

I am hoping Mitch will under­ stand my offering to the Gathering of the Cernunnos Shawl. Perhaps in some Goddess-guided way, the shawl will be the power object that heals all our spirits .

The Southeast Fairies have now returned to Cow Chip Hill and are making tea. Think I'll have a cup and turn in, darling.

I love you.

.# f e August 12,1980,Tuesday It has begun...I recognize the symptoms.

I’m on a four-day acid trip - without the acid! The day has been so incredibly high that it's hard to focus in order to write.

11

We gathered for breakfast about 9:30- Or ra­ ther , I made it down the mountain for breakfast about 9:30.

(You havta understand, Lanny, that as the information flyers we were given said, linear time only approximates Fairy time'.)

Eventually Fairies began to wander over toward the large area where we circled last evening.

Gathering business was dispensed with quickly arid lovingly. And then Fairies began to enter the circle to offer their skills - music, dance, poetry, media, survival, spiritual, sexual - in sharing workshops. Other Fairies rose to socak of their fears, and asked help. Fairies rose to share their visions and their dreams.

Finally a Fairy rose to read a passage from a book I'd read many years ago and which has, over the years, shaped my own visions.

It's called woman's Myster ies. The passage he read dealt with the worship of the Goddess in Her moon aspect. The image of the Goddess was transported from one sacred shrine to another inside a bundle of faggots. When the image arrived, the faggots were untied and the image revealed. The faggots were then used to lite the ritual fire. And the date of this festival was August 15th - which will be the last day we'll be gathered here.

The time had come. Already I was practically in tears from what had just been read to us.

I walked into the Circle holding the folded-up Cernunnos Shawl tight against roe. I have known for eleven months - since the design/vision came to roe on September 24, 1979 - that it was for this moment the shawl was meant. For eleven months I have known that when the moment came I would have to say something. What? When the moment came, eleven months of rehearsed speeches fell away and roy eyes began to blur with tears.

I asked for help and immediately two Fairies were holding me. And thus the Cernunnos Shawl was offered to the Fairy Gathering. A few min­ utes later a Fairy leaped into the Circle to suggest that the shawl be worn by whoever was speaking. And so it passed from shoulder to shoulder. And so it will pass into our lives.

So much else to tell - and I'm so exhausted.

Stacy faeried the T-shirt, R F P , Lavender Left, button, and assorted 1 iterature/inforraation tab­ le. We sold about fifty T-shirts today and I'm sure the rest will go.

(Damn*. I havta remember to pull out a medium for you. Medium, right?

I'm judging from your photo that your well-de­ veloped chest will take a medium.) Diroid had to go into town to call Missouri about Sissybus.

Aurora called a Circle for this evening after dinner: a Kali Fire to ritually burn all those negative feelings, self-destructive impulses, and the self-hatred that scars us all. And a f ­ ter that someone else has called a Circle around the fire to talk about Starhawk's Spiral Dance.

You, Lanny, will be with us this evening I'm sure.

I'll meet you at the outer edges of the Circle around midnite.

In the meantime, I'm gonna take a nap. Till then, darling.

Avgust

3,11980, Wednesd

Last nite was super intense and today, apparent­ ly, has been even more so.

I don't know...I've been out of it. My body is rebelling.

I've spent most of the day in the tent sleeping.

I'm sure it's been necessary, something the Goddess was telling me to do. But somewhere I feel guilty about missing circles I wanted to be in Mitch's on spirituality and another on aging.

But the major Circle I missed was the first of the day.

I slept thru it.

As it turned out, I also missed most of the Great Kali Fire Circle last nite.

After dinner I went to a Circle called to discuss the class and race issues not being dealt with by this Gathering. There are only two black men here.

Having said that, there's not much more to say about the racism of most white Gay men - except to recommit ourselves to the struggle to change it. The class issue was immediate, however.

The registration for the Gathering was $90, which is a lotta money.

It was clearly stated in the flyer announcing the Gathering that no one would be turned away for inability to pay.

So ‘we assumed - rightly, as it turned out that the high fee was to cover for those Fairies who couldn't come up with that amount. We did not assume - wrongly, as it turned out - that those who couldn't come up with the money would be treated as second-class Fairies and reauired to do all the shit work: cooking and cleaning.

It was such a classic het male way of dealing with the power of money that many of us became enraged.

How to deal with this problem in a Fairy nurturing/healing way took our Circle well after dark. Eventually it was decided that a small group of Fairies would approach the co-ordina­ tors aoout the unfairness of the energy - ex­ change system, and a larger group of Fairies would request from the entire Gathering a gener­ al Circle to discuss these issues. And that was the Circle I slept thru this morning.

From all accounts, it was very intense .

By the time our Circle ended last nite I was spent and discouraged.

I've fought these bat­ tles among het liberals for years and it hurt alot to havta fight them all over again among Fairies.

It seemed aoDropriate somehow that I was slogging up the mountain to attend a Kali Fire.

(Kali is an ancient Hindu Mother Goddess in Her destroying/consuming aspect.)

I wanted to burn out of me all the anger and gain I felt.

But by the time I arrived it had degenerated in­ to silliness, which was an insult both to Kali and to our Fairy powers to invoke Her healing flames. Even more discouraged, I trudged up the hill to our campsite and found Stacy and Aurora smoking dope with others of the Southeast contingent.

Unknown to us at the time, one of the Southeast Fairies had pulled a burning branch from the Kalie Fire to light the kindling in our firecircle. when we saw that Fleetwood had a fire

going, we gathered round, joints and water pass­ ing to the left - always to the left. In time others joined our fire...until there were thir­ teen Fairies gathered around another Kali Fire.

A coven. One of the Fairies there, Peter, is a practicina member of the Craft. He'd been askino around about who of the Fairies gathered here might likely be into Goddess worship.

And he was told to seek out the Southeast Fairies.

So a 11 ho the scheduled Circle on The So i raI Dance never seemed to happen, in a GoddessguTded way the last Kali Fire of the evening turned out to be a sharing of Craft lore and chants.

Eventually I staggered into the sleeping bag, only to toss and turn for hours.

(I later learned that few around that fire slept well last nite'. ) I thought alot about you.

I thought alot about the Gathering and our let ters, knowing now that I want to send excerpts of this journal to be published in RFD■ (Unless you'd rather I not...in which case, we'll talk about it.)

I began to wonder who I'm writing for: you or RFD? I know who I'm taking pictures for (I have a love/hate relationship going with that camera'.), but who am I writing for? At some point I fell asleep - questions unanswered.

Out of last nite's firecircle grew this evening's Circle on ritual.

In listening to us talk, Peter offered to share the Craft's skill in opening a circle, raising the cone of power, and grounding it again. At least 200 Fairies gathered in two concentric circles, backs to chests, holding hands. Peter led us thru the ritual by showing us how to raise the power of the Earth up thru our feet into our bodies, and how to pass the power around the circle.

In time he taught us how to raise the power out of our bodies into a dome over our heads. And then we filled the dome with our power until it burst, scattering healing energy over the entire encampment. And then he led us in a chant invoking seven of the Goddess's names - Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Deroeter, Kali, Inanna - to ground our healing power and send it back into the Earth our Mother.

Then we came back up to Cow Chip Hill - also known as Homo Heights, Kali's Crotch, and the Southeast Quadrant - to try and build a fire with wood still wet from this afternoon's heavy rain. When we got to our firecircle and began to lay the kindling, we discovered that the embers were still hot from last nite's Kali Fire. The Goddess is smiling on our work here; no doubt about it .

And now I ’m exhausted again, sweet darling.

There's a circle after breakfast tomorrow I wanna try and make - on the violence in fatherson relationships.

I’m just hoping my body will hold up for the next two days. The energy here is so intense and the linear timeframe so short that you find yourself living on several levels of Reality all at once. Like I said, it's a four-day acid trip. And I'm crashing for toni te . Love y a .

By the time I stumbled down the mountain this morning, the big Circle was just breakina up.

I couldn’t deal with the intensity, especially on only two cups of coffee.

So I quickly set up our Fairy trading booth and sold magazines and T-shirts and buttons and earrings before lunch.

At long last the four of us - Aurora, Dimid, Stacy, and me - found ourselves together in an unscheduled timespace, so we began to circle on Lasis issues.

(The Louisiana Sissies in Struogle, we are discovering, extend far beyond the boundries of New Orleans. Therefore one of the things burned in the Kali Fire last nite was the regionalism of LASIS. We are now simply Lasis. Or, as Aurora says it, La Sis'.)

A

____ August/4, 1980, Thursday

We committed ourselves to paying $1250 of the note due next August of 69 acres. That's about $25/rao from each of us. Land trust and incor­ poration business will be continued when Dimid returns to the farm in October. As for the winter housing situation, I committed myself to the quest for a larger house that could accomo­ date all of us with privacy and personal space.

But at the same time, I want to hold onto this small space at least till you get here in Jan­ uary. That way you will have a breathing space of privacy to decide what you want to do and with whom you want to live without umpteen Fairies flying about your head.

Today has been relatively laidback, largely becoz of a long afternoon rain that has sent Fair­ ies scurrying into their tents to write, sleep, smoke dope, or make love. All over the encamp­ ment you can hear laughter and the sounds of tamborines, flutes, and bells as Fairies cluster together to commune and make music. No one seems uptight about the rain.

I think we all realize how much the Earth needed it - the for­ est is very dry - and I think we are all grate­ ful for the break.

It was a wonder lunch, the highpoint of my day so far. Afterwards we all went off in different directions again and I came up the mountain to sleep. And awoke to write you. And now I feel better. Maybe just getting it all out helped.

Who knows what's gonna happen tonight? And we still have Thursday and Friday to go.

Can I stand it?

I love you.

The father-son workshop this morning was quite wonderful. The convener, Rick, led us thru the father-son myths of the patriarchy and revealed the violence in them - tales of murder, canni­ balism, and torture.

Probably the roost famil­ iar is the Abraham and Isaac story outta the Xtian Bible. Abraham blithely leads his son Isaac up the mountainside orepared to murder the kid, and all to placate Big Daddy in the Sky. That’s not the sorta story designed to train young boys to trust their fathers.

And

13

if you can't trust your own father, what male can you trust? And in just such ugly sneaky ways do the Boys set up in males the patterns of violence, war and rape.

It's up to us Fair­ ies to root those patterns out of ourselves, and then show hetmen how to heal themselves.

The Mother is asking this of us.

She needs our help coz the Boys are about to destroy Her.

Well, after all that fancy bullshit I wrote about being a wordmaker - blah, blah, blah - I have no words to describe what just happened in the great meadow where all our major circles have been.

I'm still fresh from the experience and totally shaken.

I have seen Pan upon the faces of my Fairy brothers and felt His gentle arms around me.

I'm afraid I'm falling down terribly on my ca­ mera duties.

I feel so self-conscious about the damn thing! And at the same time, there is so much I want to record for you.

I want to share with you the faces of the Fairies in my life whom you know only as names.

I feel I'm letting you down in some way, and it bugs me.

i\ftien Stacy and I wandered down to dinner, we discovered that long strips of white butcher's paper had been laid in two concentric circles around the meadow. The food had been cooked in the main eating area as usual, but this evening's Kitchen Fairies had brought the pots down and sat them around the large pole in the center of the circles. Fairies sat facing each other on the paper - very wet ground, remember - and the Kit­ chen Fairies passed between the circles and served us our food. Men nurturing men. Fairies loving Fairies.

Many years ago a Gay man named Christopher Isherwood wrote a book called _I Am a Camera. He tried to put down in words what his eyes saw - as if thru the lens of a camera.

I think what's hao­ pening with me at this Gathering is that You are the Camera - and I'm resenting it. I need to get real about this feeling.

1 wish you were here so badly that it pains me if I dwell too long on the thouaht.

You’re not here.

You're in prison.

T'm here.

And I want to share with you what's happening here - or better still, what's happening to me here. How best can I do that? I'm afraid the truth is, Canny, that I'm a better writer than I am a cam­ eraman.

I enjoy these afternoon hours spent in the tent writing you.

I don't enjoy lugging that damn camera with me everywhere and having to feel responsible for the thing.

Part of it has to do with my feeling that the camera is an invasion of personal space - on some weird level.

I don't mind my pix being taken, but I don't wanna know about it and I don't wanna pose for it. There are professional filmmakers here who asked permission of the Gath­ ering at the Opening Circle to take pictures. We all agreed, provided they'd stop if anyone asked them to. They agreed. And in this largely middle-class Gathering of men there arc fancy cameras flashing and clicking all over every­ where.

I don't mind any of it becoz I'm glad that visual records are being made of our w u k here.

(There are also radio Fairies here put­ ting our work on tape.)

But I’m just not a picture-taker.

I'm a wordmaker. That's Reality.

So don't exoect much, darling, from the pix I'll send. My record of this Gathering is this journal/let ter you’re reading. And becoz this is my perception of what's happening here is why I want to share it with our brothers who read RFp. After all, it was in the pages of RFD that we met.

I think we owe our brothers something for bringing us to­ gether in the issue that recorded last year’s Fairy Gathering.

I love you.

The big event of the evening was to be a Fashion Show during dinner. Fairies have been fluttering around all week in wonderful flowing creative garments.

Some just brought strips of fabric and old lace tablecloths and curtains.

And needle and thread and pins and glitter and make­ up and nailpolish and rhinestones. Everyone came Dressed for Dinner. I wore my purple Mardi Gras drag, which you have pix of.

The idea of a fashion show came from a breathtakinaly beautiful young Fairy named MichaelDavid, who was part of the coven around our first Kali Fire two nites ago.

And then around last nite's Kali Fire a fabulous radical Fairy from Boston named Clover Chango suggested that the "fashions" in the show represent the seven Goddesses invoked in last nite's ritual. And that's the last I heard until Isis, Astartc, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali and Inanna burst upon our dinner circle.

Besides the seven Goddesses, there was another beautiful young Fairy wearing only the Cernunnos Shawl and Michael-David wearing a loincloth with tail, invoking the image of the Great God Pan. They drew us into the center, tightening the circle to hear the words of each Goddess as Her namesake was invoked.

And from here on, Lanny, it gets kinda hazy. The Goddess and the Horned One descended on our Gathering and pandemonium (the word means "possessed by Pan") broke out.

At some point I found myself in a trance, the Purple Cape moving in rhythm to the Chant of the Seven Names behind me.

Suddenly there ap­ peared before me Cernunnos, who pulled me into Him. The cape enveloped His body and we kissed.

Then He asked me to lift the shawl above our heads and walk with Him around the circle, draw­ ing Fairies closer to the central Dole, where we hung the shawl for all to see. The circle drew in tighter and tighter. The Seven Names of the Goddess were being chanted louder and louder.

Suddenly there leaped into the circle a young dancer, fully clothed. He began to undress.

All around the circle - now quite tight, perhaps 2-3 Fairies deep - buttons began to be popped, shoes untied, pants unzipped. Clothe-s were thrown at the base of the pole, offerings to Cernunnos, as naked Fairies leaped into the

14

inner circle and began to dance. The Chant of Seven Names grew faster , more insistent.

Cocks grew hard. Mouths and bodies enveloped them. Strong arms encircled my body. The dancer lcpt up the pole. The chant changed: Pan, Cernunnos, the Horned One Comes - Pan, Cernunn os , the Ifor n C'd One Comes . ••PAN , CERNLNNOS , THb~HORNED ONE COMES’ . The figure behind me pressed closer.

I could feel His hard cock thru the cape. He mulled me closer - pressinq, ca ­ ressing. The dancer cane against the pole and was lowered gently into loving arms.

I turned to see the face of my lover. No one was there.

New York F C i r c l e ,August

by Norman Yehn There was a peacefulness over the gentle rol­ ling meadows surrounded by trees and further distant mountain peaks. Gentle beautiful faer­ ies had come to gather. Fairies sitting in circles, sharing, embracing energy, strolling hand-in-hand through the wood, lying in the sun in total harmony with nature, dancing round the fire on the earth in the rain, mak­ ing love with the land in love with the faeries.

I turned back into the inner circle. Naked Fairies were getting down on it all over. The outer ctrcle began to chant: NO MORE GUILT. The bodies writhed in ritual Sox Maiik that healed us all. The chants changed to groans and moans and siohs and whimpers and cries of ecstasy.

The God descended.

The Horned One came.

If I tell you that the ceremony was Grounded by everyone singing "Over the Rainbow y hi won t believe me. And it's true'.

I love it::: The ritual had ended for me.

I was healed.

I slip ped outta the inner circle and sat for a whi1< on the edge of the knoll overlooking the revel­ ers. And then I came uo the mountain to write you. Just as I was finishing, Aurora came into the tent. He had played the role of Astartc the Goddess of Love - and was still possessed by the Goddess.

Shortly there arrived Morning Star and Fleetwood, a coupla Southeast Fairies.

Ve smoked dope and drank wine and helped each other to ground ourselves so we could sleep and do it all over again the next morning.

August

Beautiful faeries, children of the earth.

Love­ ly wonderful creations filled with love, gentle­ ness, softness, in total oneness with nature, true human beings.

Colors in fabric, jewelry, natural jewelry, faerie make-up, feathers, hair, glitter, paper, metal, wood flew through the air carrying a message of freedon, liberation, strength, beau­ ty, qentleness, safeness, energy and faeriedom.

Accompanied by gentle drum beats, flutes, chants and z e p h y r s j the energy came together with such magnitude to fulfill many fantasies.

15, 1980,[ft id ay

Which is just what we did. The Closing Circle this morning was - as are all Fairy circles intense. When Fairies say 'Tairy thee well," emotions run high. The Gathering decided that the Cernunnos Shawl should return for sanctuary to New Orleans.

It went back with Stacy, who had to fly out as soon as the Circle closed.

And then it will go to Running '\Jater in North Carolina for an Autumn Equinox Gathering there late in September.

Occasional yelps and screams <xpr<ssinq th» emotion of unsuppressed euphoria filltd th* air.

Tears expressing inner happeninas carai with qreeting, sharing and parting.

So short and precious it was...so filled with reality.

It was a rebirth and a statement of our existence.

Let us remember and let us continue.

So mote it be.

gjp&ag ■ ‘js’he jrature of the next issue

Another oroup had reserved the campsite, so the Rangers made us leave by 4 :3 0 . There were ah^ut twenty of us who wanted to stay on for awhile, so we moved our gear about twenty miles away to a campsite called Top-o*-the-'sJorId - which is where I'm writing you, sitting in the tent and looking out over the mountain range that in­ cludes Pike's Peak.

It looks as tho we might be here for a coupla days or more. A call was made to Missouri about Sissybus, who after hav­ ing major surgery on its engine will be ready by the time we get there and pay the car doctors $543.25. Gasp: I've just been invited to share a sunset joint with Dimid and Rick.

I miss you.

I love you.

ts

RFO will focus on music by, about, <3nd for gay people. We want to include new songs, musical anecdotes, fiction, pictures, a whits happening page, homemade instruments, interoi'eios and more. We wart to knaw what is happening with fyiy mens music. Wo are interested in any related materials you u)ould Ike to send us.

1 7 ,

J\ Personal J^eport of

3hePan Jhgan cfestival Pelcfin CdkeJJolicfaif, J\ugust 21-Z5,1980 byJfeyJVelson Beloved Brothers, I must admit I shudder At the 'ins'x ct nf e x ­ pressing the experiences that haooened n -nt at the Pan-Pagan Festival.

Not, [ hasten to assure you, because’ they were unpleasant, but because a summary of an event that so affected me is going to run to the length of a novella and I am uncertain of my ability to carry, with any clarity, such a sustained effort.

T therefore ask your forgiveness in advance for any clumsi­ ness in the writing of a narrative that would be much better delivered in person, under more cumfortable circumstances.

As background, let me tell you that I first learned of the festival while reading a notice of it published in C iicle , a nublicati >n of the Circle Coven in Madison, Wisconsin.

I was vi­ siting Ralph Walker in New Jersev at the time.

The Circle had been sent to him as a leader of Gay men and had several workshops dea1ino with Gay witches marked in the a nnouncrmc. n t . The festival was originally scheduled tor Barraboo, Wisconsin, not far from my h ime , a d so a s s u m ­ ing that the followers i: Vicca (the old reli­ gion, the religion of the earth, not t > he c o n ­ fused with diah l ism) were support ivt of ttu Gays within their ranks, I determined to attend the test ival and sent a roonev order f r regis­ tration before even leaving Sussex.

The festival filled my mind w.th exoectat ions and was marked in large important letters or my calendar. Naturally, I had to tell my business manager, John, where I was going. He asked to come’ with me, but this event was oi sufficient signicance to me that I wanted to experience it without input from others I knew well, and so I turned him down as gently as possible.

I felt that this was to be an important event to me and I did not want it colored by the' opinions of my fr ie nd s .

In the week before the fest I hurried to convert my van back into a camoer , finish up my work at the theater, and nack the rones and oaraohena1ia I felt I would need.

I've gotten nrettv good at

that, having camped often before.

I've learntd what necessities and what foolish c 'mf >rts to pack and still not bring too much.

On Thursday, August 21 I worked impatiently at the theatre, John being in New Orleans at the marriage of his brother, I was left with ouite a lot of ousiness to complete and so left Chica go at 4:30 for an event that started at noon.

Shortly before the fest I received notice that the location haei been moved to Lake Holiday, Indiana, closer to my home, because the great number of registrations made the original site too small.

It seems that the last t w » festival had been held at Lake Holiday.

I must confess that the trio down there seemed interminable though it took about an hour; face it, I was hot to trot.

Borne descriotion of lake Holidav is necessary in order to understand the events of the week­ end. Lake Holidav is an unusualIv large, wood­ ed, commercial camo site at the intersection of 1-05 and County Rd 10 about 45 nin. south of Gary.

It is a large Oak grove set in the mid­ dle of farm land, ten miles from the n<arest town.

It is fronted on the B.outh bv a gas sta­ tion with a general store, -rack shoo, oool, patio, and shower room complex fifty feet be­ hind. The lake, for which the place had been named, aopeared to be in the center of the property and re-allv appeared to be a large ir­ rigation pond, such as are often seen beside the highways in the midwest.

It was oossible to walk slowly around the lake in fiftee>n min­ utes and ail parts of the shore could be seen from any ooint on that shore. The South end was devoted to swimming - three shallow, feet of sandy bottom, then a s h a m dr o > off. The North end, weedier, was used for fishing from inflat­ ed boA •> , though T -- w •»’ from al 1 ooints along the shore. At the Sou th end of the lake was a rolle'r rink with a canvas ton.

The west side of the lake with oaved roads and formal earner honkuos was reserved for tht ouo. lie. The' general store was also op that side.

The Fast side of th< la c was mnr« or -liMvf with, a few dirt roads and electrical honkuos among the trees. That side was reserved for

great emphasis on th< importance of the female aspect of nature and its seemingly heterosexual relationship with the male aspect.

Frankly, I who have a strong preference for the masculine strength (not to be confused with macho falsebravura) felt uncomfortable with a sect that appeared to place so much importance on feminity.

the: ^ q a n festival an'! it was necessary to oass by a guarded gate in order to inter the area, strangers were koot out by us inn identification badge s .

The friendly People’ at the gate told me they were out of festival programs and waved my car through the gate saying to pick any camo site I wanted.

I drove all around the camo - every style of camoing was represented from pup tents to winnebagos. There were several stands sell­ ing books and magical implements, t-shirts, buttons, handmade and antique jewelry, talis­ mans and amulets.

Some folks had taken styles of living out of the past and styled their camps after Vikina or Celtic traditions.

Often handmade items were on display - shields, hand carved lanterns, chalices, ceremonial knives.

Some folks were dressed in robes but the maioritv were in modern garb - informal summer wear.

All wore jewelry, mostly amulets, often the men wore earrings. Many children were o n sent and the predominant impression was of familv.

Z. banished all my fears about being "oussywhipped" with her loving explanations, making me at ease with all forms of the Goddess: the maiden; the bountiful mother; the crone.

I am indebted to her for this service.

During the course of her lecture, I felt contact, I was being cruised. A tall man, about my ago, with long busy light hair and heard, dressed in a fringed pioneer shirt and a bandana on his head was putting out very strong vibes in my direction. Nothing too direct, glances, close proximity in an area that af-'orded much room. i*ie went through a sort of dance being very close, circling each other very slowly - inches aoart, yet not touching, noticing «ach other over and over yet keeping the presentation as th< center of attention.

"How nice", I thought. He sat on the ground.

I sat on half of the blanket I'd brought and offered him the other half. Me ac­ cepted and thanked m e . More noticing, more closeness, nothing said.

After drivino around for a while, I chose a camp site amona the camper vans.

I wanted to be near electricity as it had been ouite hot lately and I'd brought an electric fan.

I checked with the People on each side of mv space to be sure it was really available and set up my camp beneath tall old oaks with olenty of sunshine and shade.

I've camped be fori , so I know how to be comfortable.

I opened tht top of my van and stretched mosquito netting over the hole securing it in place with magnets.

I'd sewn together two indian cotton bedspreads and fastened them to the rain gutter of the van with "C" clamps on the double door side.

It made a long sloping awning held to the ground with tent stakes to assure shade in the morning.

The whole effect was reminicient of an arab lean-to.

When 7. finished her presentation, lo and b e ­ hold, my man was the next .speaker. The subject of his slides and lecture was "Forever Forests", a land preserve in Redwood Valley, California.

The slides showed a group of hippies doing var­ ious conservation activities. On their site they seek to restore and preserve the redwood forests. Many of the pictures were in tht trav sideways.

"Ah well, Californians," I thought.

One slide showed a red haired and bearded man up to his neck in a pond. The sneaker identi­ fied him as Caliban. CALIBAN? Caliban of tht Loving Brotherhood? Caliban whose listing men­ tioned the Faerie and Celtic traditions and thi Celtic harp? A connection!

I'd written D Caliban.

I'd written a gushingly enthusiastic letter hailing a new brother with whom I shared many interests. His reply had brought me down with a dull thud. He didn't think hr could handle communication with me just then. Obvious­ ly I'd come on too strongly - again. Hurt, I’d replied that I could understand his problem.

So that was him in the picture and that was what he was doing, and the speaker was his friend.

I'd have to write and apologize for being so curt with him. And, I'd have to see more of his friend.

I'd arrived too late to attend that day s work­ shops so, having set u p , I went to the oencral store to check out the buo repellent situation and have some dinner.

The program that evening was made up of slide shows.. Ray Buck land presented "From Gardner to Seax Wicca". The slide lecture traces the histo­ ry of '-'icca from primitive times through its con­ test with the church - the burning times, six hundred years Iona through Gardner ian Wicca.

Gardner was an English Anthropologist who gave twentieth century form to the hodge podge of European custom.

Seax Wicca is, in turn, a lib­ eralization of the forms founded by Gardner , developed by Buckland who brought Gardnerian ’’icca to the United States. The slides are very good and present a fairly concise history of the "Craft" (Witchcraft is called "The Craft").

It had grown cold, so I walked back to the car when this series of slides ended and changed in­ to a robe. Many of the witches were robed bv now. Mhile at the van, I checked the festival schedule and discovered that the man was called Gwydion °enderrwen - I'd remember that name.

But when I returned to the group he showed no further interest in me and spent most of his time cuddling with women.

I didn't 1 con­ fident enough to handle approaching him mvself, so I let it ao for the night.

The second series of slides was called "The Faces of the Goddess Worldwide" presented bv 7suzsanna Budapest.

"7" is the priestess of the Susan B. Anthony Coven in L.A. She is a strona, middleaged lesbian feminist with a gentle winning manPCr. Her lovely presentation oat hers slides of goddess images from all times and cultures.

She discussed the uses and symb 'lism of the items shown. i most confess, tht issue of th< goddess was a ma -or >r ’hlem for me.

All th< literature of wicca I'd seen (not very muc. , really) placed

Salina Fox and Jim Alltn of the Circle Coven, organizers of this festival, were making a musi­ cal presentation of slides from the last festi17

val. The sflnHi pair continued with a second set of slides about a proposed °acjan retreat in the North woods . The slides wen of a beautiful country life led by this group of ‘’agans , the seasons, their country home, their good times together and the many Pagan influences in their lives.

It was lovely and winning.

approach and befriend people I'd seen in wheel­ chairs, knowing that strong, attractive per­ sonalities were sometimes trapped in bodies that didn't work, but that I'd been afraid of being labeled a wheelchair grouoee.

I explain­ ed how my aunt had aged in a wheelchair and her care was a natural part of my life. Now working with, aiding folks in wheelchairs seemed natural. The chairs represented no trauma for me .

The last group of slides bore no oarticular re­ lationship to s'icca . They were lovely comoositions by a feminist photographor/nainter from Miami. The work was strikingly beautiful, but its rushed presentation to coordinate with a tamed background reduced the beauty to uniformi­ ty. Never have I seen such fine work so oonrlv presen ted.

During the rap Bill mentioned that he had just come from the radical fairies gatherina in Denver and what a high it had been for him.

Afterward we got to chatting about the gather­ ing and he mentioned that hence forth the gatherings would be regional rather than na­ tional as they were getting unwieldy with so many in attendance.

The assembly broke uo and a cheerful crowd wan­ dered back to its encamoments. T strolled down to the lake, now misty in the moonlioht, droooed my robe and went for a silent swim in the warm water.

I’d stayed un late the nioht before, packing.

It took me a whilt to find comfort ir my camper bed, but eventually I droooed off to sleep, very glad I'd com* .

On my way back to my campsite, a handsome young man came up to me and asked if I was Grundon.

I reolied that I wasn't, but I knew what he looked like, and as I wanted to talk to him myself, I'd help him look. He explain­ ed that Grundon was conducting an initiation rite for Faerie Shamans using halucinagenic drugs. He wanted to try it.

I'd noticed an announcement of the initiation on the bulletin board, but put it out of my head as the notice seemed to be written to discourage participa­ tion.

It warned that any potential participants should be prepared to be turned away at the last minute if the Shaman didn't like their vibes. The participants must fast 24 hours, be in good health, and be experienced in self hypnosis.

I have no experience of the latter so I excluded myself.

I hadn’t taken notice of Grundon’s name, and as I'd already decided to approach him, I'd try to participate.

(I also made a mental note to make more careful note of the names of facilitators).

After searching for awhile, Robin, the young man, and I found one of Grundon's associates who told us that the group of candidates was assembling at noon at area "B", a hill just across from my camp.

It was just about noon, so we went to the hill to wait.

It was sunny and hot on the hill.

Sapling trees offered little shade to the ten or so folk who awaited Grundon.

I was uncomfortable sitting on the bare ground, and began to wander around the hill.

FkIDAY began with a lovely morning.

I'd slept later than I’d intended. No need for brea] fast, a morning swim and off to the day’s activities.

I first attended "Pagan Principles of Healing" with a short stout black woman. Her name was Marlene and she sweetly led us through exer­ cises for filling ourselves with power, like a storage battery, by getting in touch with the Earth, trees, or Sun. I felt none of the charges she described, but then I was still riding high on my city energy and knew the methods would work as I'd experienced these charges when I was sufficiently calmed out in the past.

As I passed a meadow, I spotted a tall, lanky, longhaired man sunbathing nude on a blanket. A squad car had stopped a speeder on the off ramp of the expressway not far away and I wondered at the roan’s nerve, being nude so openly. Nat­ urally I was interested in him and just as naturally avoided approaching him lest he get the right idea.

I returned to the waiting grouo.

I didn't feel comfortable with their joking conversation while they waited for the still missing Grundon.

I'd been given to believe that somethinn serious would happen to this grouo, a; d here they were carrying on like schoolboys before the teacher enters the room.

Innocent enough, but it rub­ bed me the wrong way. This was the first group of witches I was not comfortable with, so I de­ termined that, as my van was so close, I would retreat to its shade and do my waiting in com-

Next I attended "The Quiet Within the Storm" conducted by Bill Shepardson, one of our Lov­ ing Brothers from St. Louis.

Bill is in a wheelchair - something with his leg,s. The rap session was about facilitating participation in Wicca activities for the handicapped - phy­ sically challenged, as Bill called them. We got into some pretty serious stuff about our relationships with the bandicaoped.

I talked about how I'd often felt a strong impulse to id

fort. My camp afforded me a clear view of the "B" area, so I was sure I wouldn't miss Grundon’s approach.

I took the enormous foam pillow I'd brought, tossed it on the grass and divided my time between reading and waiting for the longlate shaman. While I looked over the schedule, I noticed that the croup was originally sched­ uled to meet from 1:20 to 3:00. Before I’d left the group they had conjectured that their leader's tardiness was some soi t of test of patience and they were determined to wait him out.

I thought they were in for a long wait.

At one point I thought Grundon had come, but it turned out that my nude had thr >wn on a pair of shorts and had come ti see -what was happen­ ing. He was a beauty, about my age or a bit older, very tan, very calm and together.

I liked him.

As 3:00 approached, I was feeling very smug that I'd managed to avoid waiting with the crowd which had now grown to 25 and was begin­ ning to disperse in disgust.

"Some test'." I thought.

(Tt also occurred to me how frustrat­ ion it must be when I leave my students waiting and I determined to clean up that bit of behav­ ior .

I went to dinner and returned to my camp. ’dio should I spot coming down the road but Grundon, obviously on his way to the showers.

I started to approach him, but he stopped to talk to a couple.

As I wanted to speak to him alone, I fell back.

He left the couple and proceeded.

I started toward him again, but a young woman rushed past me to him and my chance was shot again.

I began to follow them at a distance, but they sat down in the grass to talk, and not wishing to start the waiting game, I decided to take a swim and keep my eye on the road for Grundon's return. After all, he had to come back some time.

After paddling about for a while, it occurred to me to go and dress and wait for Grundon at the crossroads, the traditional meeting place for witches.

So, dressing quickly in vest and cut­ offs and taking my pipe, I sat down on a wooden well cover at the crossroads for my wait. Many friendly people passed, all greeting me. The witches had proven to be a warm and open group and subsequent meetings got me many invitations to coven gatherings and visits "if ever you're in our part of the country..." I exchanged addresses with many.

A nice young man with beautiful medallions sat down to talk with me. He was from Vancouver and we got into a discussion of the arts scenes in Canada and the U.S. He was a street musici­ an, banjo player and was very interested in my puppets.

After a bit Grundon returned, and, good grief, the same woman was still with him. well, hell, I wasn't goinc to wait forever. Asking the in­ dulgence of the young Canadian, I bailed Grun­ don's name. No response.

I called again, this time in a more demanding tone. That stopped him.

I walked over and said, "You are Grundon?'

"Yes, he reDlied, "and you are?"

Ignoring his question, I said, "What’s happening with the Fatre initiation?"

"Ah," he said, "there arc an awful lot of people

who want to do this and I'm afraid the group will be too large.

I could use someone to act as guide in case any of them act into trouble under the acid."

"Fine” , I said, "I'll be happy to help. When should the fast begin?"

He said to begin the fast at midnight.

I'd de­ cided to keep the fast out of respect for the people who would be undergoing the ritual.

I mentioned the number of people who waited un­ successfully that afternoon.

"What day is this?", he asked.

He was suprised that it was Friday and said he was sure the meeting was sheduled for noon on Saturday.

"I'll be there," I said, returning to the Ca­ nadian .

Later, 1 ran into Robin on the grounds and in­ formed him of the time change, but he said he'd read over the requirements and felt he would be excluded, as it seemed that Grundon intended to turn away even "adepts".

That eveninq was the "Festival Gono Show" - not as dreadful as it sounds, realty - witch singors, comedians, dancers, poets per farming their work for the group in stage liohtina provided by the head lamps of a car.

It reminded me of a simi­ lar scene in "South Pacific". Most of tht songs had an unfortunate tendency to be paradies of Christian hymns or popular songs, but there were a few good original songs and most of the poetry was lovely. Throughout the fest it was apparent that there was a strong dislike for Christians for crimes committed against earlier witches, something that must be laid aside to find peace.

I divided my attention between watching the show, cruising the crowd, (after two days away from friends, I was feeling a bit lonely) arid visiting a nearby campfire where some circle dancing was beginning to the sound of drums, bagpipes, and tambourines. Back and forth I wandered. On one pass, I saw a beautiful man with shoulder length sandy hair and beard, ruoged features and build, a thick mat of chest hair showing at the openings of the leather vest he wore. He was in Viking attire, leather vest and bracelets, trousers and strapped boots.

I felt my bud of loneliness blossom into a case of the hornies.

So many beautiful men, I would have to get to know some better.

The Gong Show dragged on too long, but at last it was over and a bonfire was lit in the middle of the field and people began to dance around it.

I was to discover that witches love to dance around bonfires. They link arms and run really run and run and run. Perhaps a few movement workshops would be a good idea at these gather­ ings. At any rate, a standard witch’s boast is "I danced 'til dawn around the old bonfire."

Still. I was cruising, not too successfully.

I wandered back and forth between the two bon­ fires, the music of the drum, tambourine, and flute alternating with the bagoipe. At each fire, some danced in the center, most watched.

I wanted to dance, but was still too selfcon­ scious .

I ran into Robin aga.n.

He talked.

He talked

The speaker borrowed a drum and began to follow me.

I was an Indian temple dancer, clothed only in jewelry.

I was a woman of full breasts and belly, dancing from my soul.

I laughed at the sterility of the disciplined Kathakali school that would follow centuries later. My form would live forever in the sandstone carvings of Ankor Va t .

Goddess, Goddess, Goddess , Send me a man!

about sorts and traditions, criticizing this one and that oneI wanted some action.

He continued to talk. Abruptly, I excused myself and moved into the dance circle.

At first T stayed on the outside, my dancing was going to be more sensuous, graceful movements of arm, leg, and head - no running. How long could someone of my girth run? I alternated between circles.

I worked up a sweat, nude under my robe, an old robe, a gift from a pilgrim three quarter length sleeves and just long enough to be graceful without inhibiting ray feet.

I'd show these witches what dancing was!

After a long while, I decided to take a swim, so moving to the nearby beach, I drooped my sweat-dampened robe to the dewy grass and slioped naked into the water.

It was the night be­ fore the full moon and I continued to dance, now more gracefully borne up by the water, for the waxing symbol of the Goddess.

I returned to the shore and regained my robe against the chill.

The drum and pipes resounded from the field and I began to move and chant an invocation to the moon .

Goddess, Goddess, Goddess, Send me a man!

Slowly, emphasising each word: Goddess , Goddess, Goddess, Send me a man!

People came and went in the darkness - "had she responded already?" No one noticed me.

I did not care if thev did: Godde s s , Godde ss , Godde s s , Send me a man 1 Forty-five minutes passed, Derhaps an hour, I continued to chant and dance: Goddess, Goddess, Goddess, Send me a man!

Perhaps I should return to the fire, maybe he was waiting there.

In half an hour, I'd aporoached several likelv subjects: a shaved-topped soldier on leave from Fort Leonard '>k>od. No, he didn't want to come back to my van for some Sherry! Another, a mem­ ber of the Viking clan - his leather vested friend was called Regnar . Perhaos he'd like to go for a swim later. Looking for anything male, I made advances to anyone and was turned down by all. Perhaps, I conjectured, because none of them filled my criteria for the term "man" when in a firmer state of mind.

To hell with it!

If I couldn't find what ted, I'd dance myself to exhaustion rather try to sleep alone.

I moved to the center the circle, dancing and chanting to myself voking the fire and the moon: Goddess, Goddess, Goddess, Send me a man!

I wan­ than of in­

The watchers had thinned, but as I danced thu circle I was proud of the comments I hoard on my grace and the sensuality of my steos.

Sever­ al attempts were made to link my hands with the running dancers but I refused all advances, working my own slow graceful way around.

A voice behind me said, "My god, he's workino a spell!" Of course I was: Goddess , Goddess , Goddess , Send me a man!

P eter 20

I will never forget v >u. forsake you.

My limbs were tireless.

I would dance throuah the dawn into eternity.

The runninq circle dis­ solved and four women joined me, dancina as I danced, swirlinq their skirts and shawls, tempt­ ing the fire to burn their feet. Ttu beat be­ gan to accelerate, building to a crescendo as T leaped over the flames- The women joined me: Goddess, Goddess, Goddess, Send me a man' .

I

w ill

n< v» r

We sang first to the person on our left, then to the person on our right, then to the entire cir­ cle.

It was a few minutes after noon when we parted. I was late for the Shaman initiation.

It didn't matter, this was much more important.

Twinkle and glooooooow: Throughout the camp rang the voices of the departing fairies.

"Faggots, and fairies and dykes, Oh my'."

The men joined us, building the flames higher and leaping over them, caught by their fellows lest they fall back to be burned. Musicians swelled each other as the dance wound on , still my drummer followed.

Goddess, Goddess, Goddess, Send me a msnl

I hurried over to the area where the Faere ini­ tiation was to take place.

I was a bit late.

Grundon, in hound's tooth wool parka lined with white satin and floor length, his hair covered with a matching whi"te bandana, distributed the paper blotters like communion to 25 or so wait­ ing participants. For what I could see, he skipped no one. _ "Good," I thought, "mavbe I can get in on this afterall," and joined the circle.

He didn't come back to me. Outside the now chanting circle, a priestess, in long flowino white robes painted an animal symbol on th» fore­ heads of the participants.

In the Fa«r»- tradi­ tion each initiate chooses an animal symbol to represent him. He claims the attributes of that animal and uses the mark on the forehead to re­ turn to the proper body after astral experiences.

Conveniently enough, it helps keep track of those who are under the influence of hallucieu­ genic drugs so that others may watch out fur them.

At last my trance began to fade and I slowed to the edge of the circle. The runners clasped hands and resumed their silly athletics. The drummer ran over to me and embraced me.

Thank you," he cried, "Thank you for letting me do that."

Satisfied, I walked back to the beach.

I'd in­ tended to swim, but a couple made love in the shallow water.

I looked at the moon.

"I'm willing to wait."

I said, and went to bed.

SATURDAY I'd danced 'til four in the morning, so my alarm going off at seven was out of the question.

I awoke at ten, just enough time for a swim and a cup of hot chocolate (coffee being forbidden by the fast) before the Gay and Lesbian rap group.

It was a good large group and full of the usual surprises - "Ah, so he's/she's Gay/Lesbian.

How nice." Of course, no one I'd approaced the pre­ vious nite was in attendance.

Paul Bereyl in­ dicated that based on a questionnaire circulated the previous year , ninty percent of the witches attending the '79 festival felt that homosexuali­ ty was immoral - UTha t a blow'. Higher than the national average. Obviously my assumption about the tolerance of witches was fercockta. When it was Z. Budapest's turn to speak, she asked for the help of the Gay brothers. The place for the rites of the cult of Diana was not adeguatt.

Like all the meeting places, it was plainly visable from both the camp and the highway. The rites of Diana are secret, not to be seen by the eyes of men, and Z. preferred that they be per­ formed skyclad - the lovely witches' term for nudity.

She asked if the men could help to find a more suitable location and if they would serve as temporary Dianic priests and encircle the rite, eyes turned away, to discourage the curious. One of the men had found a good spot already and the rest of us agreed to meet with the women later in the afternoon to carry out the rest of the plan. By the time we were to finish, our numbers had swelled considerably.

We joined hands in the circle (everything in vicca is conducted in a circle, the symbol of wholeness) and sang to each other: Listen, listen, listen to my heart's song.

Listen, listen, listen to my heart's sona.

I will never forget you.

I will nc v« r forsake you.

21

The group now broke into an outer and inner circle, each turning in the same direction and chanting: All creatures are one, Under the sun, under the sun.

Turn to the Earth, She gave us birth, tjhat is she worth to you, my friend> All creatures are one, Under the sun, under the sun.

Turn to the sun, turn to the wind, Turn to the water, my friend.

The chant was repeated over and over with an individual turn about on the words "Earth" and "Sun". Meanwhile the priestess removed the ini­ tiates from the circle one by one and painted the symbol on their foreheads.

Soon the drug began to show its influence as the dancers began to lay individual interpretation on the dance, gesturing with their arms or stepping like fauns.

At last I was the only one unmarked. The pries­ tess tapped roe on the shoulder and I stepped from the circle to tell her that I was only act­ ing as a guide. Before the words were out of my mouth, Grundon had rushed over, seized my shoul­ ders and told me that he needed about a gallon of water.

"OK," I thought, got my collapsible bucket and filled it at the spigot.

By the time I’d returned, the group had received new instructions and were making a new circle, with a new chant. This time each held his right hand over the left shoulder of tht one btf^rc him, his hand on the others heart.

I took water and not knowina what it was for, sat in the shade to await instructions. The priestess came and asked, "Water?" "Water", I replied.

5hc cuopcd her hands and drank from tht bucket.

Aha, of

had reversed his parka so that the white satin side was out and he was dressed all in white.

I began to develop a real dislike for the man and the scene he was weaving, getting that largenumber of people stoned and then messing with their heads. The young man in the monk's robe began to retch, so I dampened a towel and ap­ proached him with a cup of water.

While I had no love for the stunt Grundon was pulling, I must have respect for the inner God that must now be speaking to these people, so I approached as a servant.

I moved quietly, speaking only if necessary, with my eyes down­ cast . I handed the towel and the cup to the young man. He was confused about his control of the experience and asked me how to react.

I addressed him as brother and softly told him that the best way was to not waste time trying to control the experience, but rather to relax and go with the flow.

I moved quietly amono the initiates passing water and wet towels, staying as anonymous as possible. Grundon glanced in my direction and said in stentorian tones, "Let's all thank the man who's helping us," and started applause.

I felt like sluaging him, but smiled and said, "If you keep that up, I'll do forty minutes." I refilled the bucket and returned to my cushion.

So that was it, I told myself, Grundon was afraid I was going to cop his show. He wasn't cruising me the other night, he was checking out my power.

I was amused and began to Plot a little surprise for Grundon.

Dim itri course, I thought; they'll need water with all that circling.

A young man ir a monk's robeapproached next and wanted water, but the bucket was dec’p and he had trouble with his hands so I went to the van to get a cup.

The circling and chanting went on for a long time in the hot sun.

I began to be glad that I wasn't part of the group.

I knew I would not tolerate this rigamarole.

Most of these folk wer» new to acid, but I've tripped many times.

Each trip holds a message from the Gods and I know I would have resented the interference of Grundon's method. Because the experience is sacred I decided to avoid the temptation of a contact high messing with the trippers' heads.

I placed the bucket and the cup where it was easily available and withdrew to my campsite.

I propped a large Dillow I'd brouaht against an oak to watch the proceedings and fulfill my charge as guide.

By this time, Grundon's for­ mat had run its course and the initiates were Allowed to pursue their own paths.

"About fuck­ in’ time", I thought. The more I watched his ministrations the mort comical Grundon became to me. This man was really lavinn a heavy trio on these folks, and to what end7 By now, the more talkative of th» group had dissolved int"' giddiness, the more introspective had turned within. Grundon moved from one to thv other laying his messianic trio on them. By now he

A little earlier four of the participants went romping off singing a song about the blessed sun. At the time I decided they'd be alrioht since there were four together, but now they'd been gone about an hour and I thought it might be wise to see how they were doina.' I found them skinny-dipping in the lake.

"Haha, you've found us" they said, "Come join us." "You don't have to ask me twice," I said slipping out of my cutoffs and quickly into the water. We paddled about and hugged as they continued their song about the sun.

Soon we were joined by an older man who warned us about skinny-dipping and the Christians on the opposite shore with binoculars as he removed his clothes to join us.

I tried to change the subject, but he went on and on about the prying Christians.

The deed was done, in a papanoid flurry the initiates rushed from the lake and dressed fleeing back to the circle with me in tow. A very confused naked gentleman was left behind.

After a time the initiation seemed to be at an end and the participants passed off to their campsites.

I crossed to retrieve the bucket, cups and towels. Grundon came over and huaged me, thanking me for helping.

I said nothing.

It was about three o'clock, the appointed hour for the Dianic rite.

I decided n wander over to Paul and Cassidy's camp to wait with them and check out the Unicorn, a magazine they Pub­ lished as part of the Rowan Tree, their organi­ zation in Minneapolis. They gave me a copy which I pocketed for reference later.

Z. and her followers were coming so we moved to area "B", the meeting place. Almost all the men who attended the morning meeting along with aoout sixty women were there. 7. spoke quietly

with her women then came up the hill to the place where the men waited.

She explained that she wanted us to ring the circle about fifty feet from the clearing, with our backs always to the women to preserve the secrecy of their rite and the modesty of the women.

She marked our foreheads with a blue chalk crescent moon and instructed us to refrain from speaking to each other unless necessary and to direct our concentration on the rite we assisted.

She then assembled the women and they set off sing­ ing for the wooded grove. The men trailed a respectful distance behind.

X tried to assist Bill Shepardson with his wheel chair, but couldn't keep up with him.

It was a lovely sight as the women wove through the site, singing, for the forest.

Naturally it attracted a lot of attention which was our job to turn away. Our first exercise came when the women stopoed at the lake for a symbolic ablution of the hands and feet. The Gay men ringed the women at a dis­ tance requesting other men who approached to turn back, asking women who approached if they intended to join the rite, advising photograph­ ers and watchers that their attention was in­ appropriate.

As the women moved on I was ap­ proached by a pair of older men who wanted to know why the Gay men had been privileged to assist the women rather than straight men. Per­ sonally I thought that the basic reason was as obvious to them as to us, but I explained that it was not our object to exclude straight men but rather to find some way that the Gay men might serve the community of women to strength­ en our bond. Besides, I explained, we would see no more than they as we were pledged to avert our eyes. Catching up with the grouD, I secretly wondered if the men had seen or read Tom Tryon's Harvest Home and were aware of the fate that met the curious.

Someone was wise enough to bring a stick of insect repellent, thank goodness, for clothed as I was in only cutoffs and vest, I would be easy prey for the mosquitos that inhabited the forest.

As the Dianics began their chant, the men cir­ cled them in the wood, each priest taking up a position within view of his brothers on either side.

I selected a position, and not being into meditation, settled down to read the Unicorn.

If reward was necessary for the service we ren­ dered the women, their music was that reward.

The flute and drum hovered in the air supporting the lovely soprano voices. My mind was drawn to remember Piper at the Gates of Dawn in The Wind in the Willows. My eye found a notice in the Extra Pages, a special section of the Unicorn sent only to the Gay subscribers, that told of a Halloroas gathering to be held at Paul and Cassidy's. Only eleven men would attend a week­ end devoted to raising the special sexual energy raagik of Gay men.

I was determined to be one of those men. A pleasarnt hour passed.

Christians from the other side of the lake were assembled - calm men and women holding angry men back. When I asked what happened I was told that Ivan, one of our men, was attacked by a straight man swinging a large stick. The man had been dragged back to his camp before he could hurt Ivan.

It was understandable, Ivan was a good target. Skinny as a rail, he was dressed in Hawaiian shirt, too-large white boxer shorts, high-topped leather shoes and a floor length black cape made by someone who knew more about table cloths than capes. His head was topped with a dutch-boy blond hair c u t , and his thick glasses amplified eyes that bore the same relationship to crossed eyes that bowed legs bear to knocked knees.

"Has anyone gone to speak to them?" I asked.

"Hell no'." was the re­ ply. By this time taunts were being hurled at us. "Come on, little fairy, just you come up this hill." "That’s no man down there, that's a little girl." "Wo can’t leave it like this," I said.

"It will only qet worse." And, T be­ gan to climb the hill. Thorned vines made my progress difficult.

I looked up the hill and remarked to the people waiting there, "I don’t know how in hell you got down." Obviously, I'd missed the path. After quite a sturgglo with the bushes and the hill, I gained the top and the presence of the waiting crowd.

"I'm sorry," I panted, "you'll have to wait 'til I catch my breath, I'm too fat to be climbing hills like that." I took a few deep breaths and began quietly, my uneasy breathing masking the fear I felt.

"I'm s or ry, we didn't in tend to ups e t you. The women are conducting a religious ser­ vice and have asked us to ask people to stay away. We aren’t here to be a challenge to you."

"They’re bar e-ass naked," said a man. "We chose this spot so we wouldn't offend you; we thought no one could see," I replied.

(Of course, if you're going to use binoculars you might, I thought but did not say.) "Oir kids can see," he stated.

"Ah, I'm sorry about that.

I can't argue with you about that because I’ve taken a vow not to look myself, so I haven't tried to look."

(Of course if I were a kid nothing could stop me from trying.)

"The women are al­ most finished," I said.

(I sincerely hoped).

"An' what about this skinny-dippin' that's been goin' on?" one asked.

"We try very hard to po­ lice our own group," I replied, thinking of mv own skinny-dipping that afternoon.

"But every group has its partyers.

I ' H mention it to the council and w e ’ll try not to have it happen again.

I'm sorry you were upset." "Well, that s OK," someone answered, "but don't let it happen again; these folks are mighty mad."

I started back to the group; the stick swinger followed it to you," I said, not wanting him to have another confrontation with Ivan and the angry fairies who waited around him.

I retrieved the hat and brought it back to the man.

"You better watch your steD," he growled.

"Get these men mad and watch out." I assured him w e 'd be care­ ful. As I returned to my group, the voices of the women rang out.

"Thank you'." they cried to us, oblivious of the incident on the hill.

Suddenly there was a burst of voices as several men rushed down a hill to the left. There were no cries for assistance from our brothers, but getting the nodded consent of the guards on either side of me I went to investigate.

Not far away, several of our men stood facing the top of the hill where a large crowd of the

On the way back to camp, I explained what had happened to the men and a discussion ensued a bout the wisdom of coming to a place where we are forced to mix with Christians. But even 23

I took some dinner at the general store and head­ ed back to camp to prepare for the main ritual.

As I walked along the road, a nice looking man in cutoffs rose from the lake shore and directed his steps to intersect with mine at the cross­ roads.

We met and made the usual small talk.

He mentioned that the slight chill in the air was begining to get to him.

It wasn't particu­ larly cool, but he was from southern Illinois where there had been a long heat wave of late.

I told him my bulk kept me pretty immune to heat and cold. He replied that despite the difference in our body structure (he is 6'4", 200 lbs), he felt very drawn to me. He'd watched me durina the Faere Shaman initiation and said that my calm had made him want to come over and hug me.

(He did not participate in the initiation but watched it from his campsite nearby).

I pro­ posed that we go back to my van for some sherry to warm him. He attributed his attraction to me to the fact he'd been feeling a bit lonely as his wife was into all this ritual, while he be­ lieved in making his love of the Earth a more integrated part of his life. HIS WIFE?? Divor­ ced, he said.

She wanted to come to the festi­ val with their kids, and he had obliged by driving them. 'Jhen the festival was over they would go on to Chicago to visit the museums with the kids. They could spend the night at my place if they wanted. He was grateful for that .

straightness within our ranks was a problem, as one witch husband had approached the men on the path demanding that his wife and little girl leave the Dianic circle.

Perhaps the answer is to go where Winnebagos can't follow, but the festival represented the best efforts of the Mid­ west Pagan Council to unify a group that was only now emerging from the wright of oporession. We would simply have to be more careful.

My legs were bleeding from the thorn bushes, so I headed back to ray camper, changed into trunks, grabbed ray bag of soaps and made for the lake to bathe my wounds.

When I arrived, the man who had been sunbathing nude earlier was on the beach. He said he'd heard about some disturbance in the woods, and I told him what had happened as I swam. He asked if I had anything in my baq for his skin as the sun was drying it out.

I thought for a moment and suggested my herbal hair condi­ tioner as it contained nothing but herbs in an oil base. He rubbed it on and it removed the sting. His name was Bob; he was from Lacrosse.

I noticed that there was to be an equinox gath­ ering in LaCrosse. Not far from his home he told me. where was I from? He too used to be from Chicago. To what coven did I belong?

I was an eclectic (a Wicca terra for someone who follows no particular tradition) though I liked the Celtic tradition. We talked about our work; he's a counselor at a local school, and he'd like to get someone like me to work out a pup­ petry program with him.

I suggested that if I could stay with him for a few days before the equinox and perhaps then we could develop some­ thing. And, we could go to the equinox together.

Or, I said, if that was not a good time, I was planning a trip to Minneapolis for the Hallonas gathering. He wanted to know about that.

I ex­ plained it to him, and he said he'd like to at ­ tend. Wfell, I said, I didn't know anything about his tastes, but we would be working on Gay sex magic.

We wouldn't want to freak him out, nor would it be fair to the Gay brothers to ask them to have to deal with the problem of a straight man. He reolied that none of that was a problem for him.

'Uell then, I suggested he contact Paul and Cassidy as soon as possible as spaces were limited to eleven participants.

He went on his wav; I finished my swim and re­ turned to my camp.

I gazed at the sky and said, "That was nice, Goddess; thank you."

He mentioned that they'd not exoected the cold up North and had brought only one blanket with them. A stone could see where this was going, 'tell, I said, taking the plunge, he could spend the night with me; the bed he was sitting on folded down into a double.

I'd made no se­ cret of my gayness in previous conversation, so he asked what that would entail.

"Listen," I said, "you're the straight man so you can make the decisions."

I told him I gave pretty good head which was a turn on for me but if he could not handle it, I'd be happy just to sleep be­ side him. we spent a long time together, well past dark­ ness. We made love.

I had a hard time con­ trolling my enthusiasm about him. He was a cabinet maker who lived near the Alf Landon forest. He knew puppeteer friends of mine who lived just down the road. He wanted to come to Chicago to apprentice to a cabinet maker, maybe open his own place, or study with a violin m a ­ ker. He hold land left in a natural state on which he grew ginseng and on and on.

I was im­ pressed.

I told him how I'd chanted for a man the night before, and now that I had done her service the Goddess had rewarded me with a man who was worthy of her.

He was hungry, so we got him some more clothes and went to the main site where we dined on leftovers of the night's feast while watching the main ritual come to a close in the moon­ light. The priest, Gwydion in this case, had charge of a tray of rough amethysts from the group energy and asked us to take two. Tom (did I mention his name was Tom?) said he be­ lieved the Indians carried amethysts to ward off snake bite, and it would come in handy as there were a lot of snakes in his part of the country.

(He wasn't into it, oh no!) We went

24

for a long walk around the lake, listening to the remarks of the Christians gathered on the shore with binoculars to watch the giant bon­ fire in the witch's camp. We were dressed as they were so they didn't recognize us as witch­ es. Tom would ask them what in hell was going on over there? And we would chuckle at their confused answers.

'■'hen we reached the gate a chubby young witch was telling the guards that she would be responsible for three young teen­ age boys who just wanted to look around. The guard hesitated and then let them in. Once in­ side she told them she wanted to change and would catch up with them later. Tom and I de­ cided to keep an eye on the boys as the witches are very open people and don't lock their doors.

I had abandoned the practice myself the second day. We trailed the boys at a distance, follow­ ing them to the great bonfire. After we'd watched the dancing for a while, a voice an­ nounced the presence of the horned God. A man in a red robe with a staff danced into the cir­ cle wearing a horrible rubber mask that was a grotesque travesty of the beauty of Pan. Some folks have neither sense nor taste. The three teenagers gawked at each other.

I stepped up behind them and said, "Lest anyone get the wrong impression, no one here is worshipping Satan."

They said they understood, but I'd tipped our hand, and at length it became apparant that they knew they were being watched. Good enough.

Tom said he was tired so we went back to the van.

I said that, by the way, he didn't have to sleep with me if he would rather not; he could always carry the extra blankets back to his family if he wished. He said it would be easier to sleep with his family than explain his absence.

We'd have plenty of time later he said. 'ste cuddled for a while and then he took the blankets and went to his van.

I wandered to the lake, dropped my clothes, and entered the water in the now full moonlight.

I chanted my thanks to the Goddess, performing my dancing gyrations in the water.

I dried and started back to my van. From "B” came the cries: "Diana is alive and magic's in the air; Isis is alive and magic's in the air" and so forth naming the aspects of the Goddess and the names of the people in the circle. As I snug­ gled into my bed the group had lapsed into chanting with flute and drum.

I fell asleep to the soft melodies as moonlight streamed in through the open sky light.

I was very happy.

SUNDAY I wanted to be sure to keep in touch with this group, so I set off for the Circle booth with my check book to enter roy subscription and re­ gister for the equinox.

As I approached the Unicorn table I saw that roost of the Gay bro­ thers were hanging out there and went over to share roy good fortune with them. We chatted for a while, and I discovered that it was their chanting that sent me to sleep the pre­ vious night. A fairy circle had been called, but they couldn't find me.

I was involved with Lee. There was to be another circle riqht away, so I stuck around, camoing and exchangino addresses. We were just remarking on what a lot of pretty men there were among the witches, when who should stroll by but Odoone dressed only in cut offs. Too fuckin’ much. What the hell, I couldn't lose.

I spoke to him. "I'm told you're

Another beautiful day; the witches had chosen their weekend well.

I saw no stirring at Tom’s campsite.

I brewed coffee. Bob, the sunbather, passed with a young lady on his way to the show­ ers.

I called out and he came over so we could exchange addresses. He left me his chosen name, a sign of trust, and went on his way.

I was still glowing from the night before.

I'd been granted far more than I'd ever expected from this weekend.

I tidied up the van and relaxed to enjoy roy coffee. Bob came back.

Sitting down, he said "You know, I'm not just doing this for the puppets; I really want to get into you, man." "Oh, I feel that way too", I replied. we exchanged a long, heavy duty hug and agreed to meet at the equinox. He was off.

I only rendered a little service, no need to go overboard, I whispered to the Goddess.

25

called Odoone," I said. We exchanged pleasan­ tries and I told him how I had once made a puopet called Odoone for the Swedish Wire Company.

He was a ball of fur with two legs sticking out of the bottom and a tarnhelm on his head, I explained.

"We 11, there we are," he said, ruf­ fling the bountiful hair on his chest. He and his clan were members of the Society for Crea­ tive Anachronisms.

I was scheduled to join the Society in the fall.

It seems we both performed at the Renaissance fair and he remembered my show. He and his wife were preoarinq to buy a campsite in southern Illinois to be able to stage Renaissance gatherings and witches' fes­ tivals and rent campsites to earn a living.

The camp park was just adjacent to the Alf Landon National Forest - of course, there are no "mistakes" - later I would introduce him to Toro as someone who could tell him all about the area. Very, very good vibes were in the air.

On impulse, before leaving Chicago, I’d recreated a pair of puppets that I’d originally created for a particular episode of my TV show. They were two very simple puppets with bodies of black velvet, heads without features save for Mr. Spock ears, painted flat black to match the bodies.

I ’d made little monk's robes for them of maroon double knit. The effect was similar to the Jawas in Star Wars■ On some impulse, I'd brought them to the festival, on an impulse similar to the one that caused their creation.

I'd kept them out of sight all weekend.

Taking the puppets, I set out for the final ritual. Along the road, I came upon a handfas­ ting, a Wicca wedding ceremony.

I joined the community of witches that stood in the ritual circle. The ceremony is lovely, involving the participation of a priest and several priest­ esses and members of the coven. The bride is kissed and entrusted to the groom by a priestess whose ritual garb represents the maiden cult of Diana. A red and a white cord are knotted and then used to bind the hands of the couple while they recite their vows. The cords serve as symbol of their contract. If the contract is to be ended or altered, the couole need only untie the ropes. The blessing of the guardians of the four winds is invoked and, when the ceremony is ended the couple traditionally hoos the broom­ stick.

It was a lovely moving ceremony.

As I turned to invoke the guardian of the West, I caught Toro's eye and we exchanged loving looks.

Waiting for the circle to begin was an excel­ lent opportunity to spend some time with my Gay brothers.

Strong bonds of affection had been established that weekend and this was a good chance to get to know each other better and make plans for future meetings. As it turned out, we never did get to the circle. The Midwest council had hassled Paul badly about the incidents of the previous day. Paul is appropriately concerned with the good work that had been done to establish a unity, however tenuous, with the other witches. Paul wanted to be sure that the good flow with the Midwest council was maintained, to which end I volun­ teered to serve the council as an established Gay man living within their region. Later I introduced myself to Selina, the High Priestess, and offered my services and later repeated the offer in writing and by volunteering for work details for the Equinox festival.

We hugged and kissed our sweet fairy goodbyes, pledging to meet again and offering shelter to each other while traveling. Warm electric charges passed between us in our embraces and firm friendships were established.

I moved on to the site of the final ritual where I waited in the shade with several other witches, among them a lovely young couple from west Virginia. They were part of the skinny dipping group from the previous day's initiation.

I'd been particularly attracted by the husband's long blond hair. we waited a while and deter­ mined that the ritual would take place on "witch time", which had fallen steadily behind standard time as the weekend progressed.

I decided to return to my van to pack and watch for the large migration of people that heralded the beginning of any important event.

On my way back to the car, I found Tom and his three year old son, chatting with a beautiful man whose long black hair flowed down over his leather jerkin. He, Bob, admired my bandanna as being exactly like one from Mexico he'd loved and worn to threads.

I gave it to him and he in return gave me a decoupaged medallion of the phoenix he'd made.

He was from Chicago and we promised to get together when we re­ turned- Ondoone happened along the road and I took that opportunity to introduce him to Tom. They chatted while I exchanged information with Mike , the banjo player from Vancouver.

On the way back, I met Grundon.

I handed him the two puppets.

"These are the tools of my craft, which wins the hearts of men," I said.

"What are they?" he asked.

"You’ll see," I reolied, "one is for you and one for Caliban.

Tell him I’m sorry I frightened him." He looked very baffled.

"We have your address, right?"

"Caliban does if he gives it some thought."

Of course, I'd never given him my name.

(Later, reading Steve Gaskin, he quotes Castaneda as saying shamen never give their true names because of the power involved.)

I went on my way cover­ ing a giggle. Zap!

It was getting on toward time for the final ritual, so I went to my van to dress.

I'd been saving my best robes for this occasion - a floor length teal blue robe with full sleeves and An equally long black cape. The cape was fastened at the left shoulder with a green glazeware brooch in the form of the crescent moon.

I wore a medallion of the head of the Goddess on my breast.

I'd forgotten to bring roy staff, still the configuration was imposing. This was where play became reality.

A backlog of robes would find their use.

Back at the van, I saw that Tom was preparing to leave.

I took my big cushion and waited for him under the big oak. He glan­ ced over and saw me as he loaded his family into the truck.

I guess he was hoping I'd come over because he took a long time checking his oil, all the time shooting glances in my direction. He spent a good ten minutes cleaning his windshield 'til it gleamed

26

After about a half hour she felt well enough to be helped back to her camp site.

We thanked the people who had helped us and slowly walked her back through the oak grove, to avoid the sun on the road.

We got her settled and Marlene and I exchanged strong goodbye hugs. These witches sure are good huggers.

like a Marshall Field's show case. At last with one long glance, he hopped in the cab and star­ ted in my direction.

I'd promised him discretion and he was getting it.

I rose to meet him at the crossroad and a smile crossed his face.

Touching his elbow out the window, I said good­ bye to all of them and offered them the hospi­ tality of my home if they decided to stay in Chicago that night. We exchanged warm grins, and he was on his way.

It took me about ten minutes to change and strike camp.

I decided to circle the campsite one last time before leaving, so I started up the van and set out. Everywhere people smiled and waved their farewells. As I passed the Viking camp, several of them rushed out to ex­ change hugs and kisses through the window.

Last in line was Odoone. We caught each other's eyes for a long loving glance and finished with a deep kiss. We would be together again. Mo­ ving on I came to the camp of the Celtic bag­ piper.

I congratulated him on his stamina and skill. He admired my dancing.

I promised I'd accompany him on the Celtic harp when next we met.

I'll have to work hard to fulfill that promise.

I came to the camp of the folks from west Virginia.

We hugged and kissed, the husband's tongue slipping into my mouth. He smiled knowingly.

I pressed on at last to the gate where I thanked the gateman for his ser­ vice to us and promised to spell him next time.

I headed my wheels toward the highway and Chicago, my head full of the euphoria of th« weekend.

I returned to the clearing for the final ritual, now an hour and a half late. The priest called the group together into a double circle so he could be heard. He explained that the ritual had been delayed because two of the group who were to perform it had been taken ill and had to return to Wisconsin. They had left the written notes for the format and the rest of the time had been spent preparing substitute parti­ cipants. The ritual was performed with great feeling as I linked hands with Marlene on my left and the couple from West Virginia on my right. The circle was inscribed in the earth by a sword wielding while the priest offered incense, the sun glinting off his gold lame robes. The guardians of the four directions were invoked, Salina calling on the North, Odoone the West. We chanted and swayed. A woman in the inner circle sat down suddenly.

She was close to me so I kept an eye on her, thinking that perhaps the long stand had tired her. Soon it became obvious that she was about to faint, so I went to her aid, Marlene joining me after a bit. we administered first aid for fainting, having the woman lower her head and breathe deeply. The priest turned in our direction and said, "The circle is open, but not broken."

When the ceremony ended, Marlene and I helped the woman back to the shelter of an awning, where the campers gave us ice and water to treat her.

I drove back, my head full of delightful memo­ ries and plans for the future. The festival had altered my life and many new steps awaited me to facilitate the changes it would bring.

As I neared Gary, my spiritual name came to me, a combination of the names of two strong servants.

I share it with you now; SAMAR1EL. And this is his sign, that of the jester and the priest..

Jhese fabulous *

4

4 /faitits

+

have just created

"Ozark's

the special

Experience"

Section beqinnina on

the next 9 ag<2„

27

THE OZARKS EXPERIENCE

gay men create a new order

28

summer solstice at blue eye An reaching Man;two Farm down rocky rosd, m :os in one hand, bucking wheel in the other, a braking descent brings lake and house to view.

Crow in the cedar guards our entrance.

Dill and mint scent path to cottage, bright clematis graces jungle porch; sunflowers turn the sun away as warm embrace f strong men greets us.

Deep-toned wind chimes catch the air and fathom depths of what once was sea.

Teepees of squash and bean invoke the Spirit; weathered barn links past to present.

A cool day gathering blackberries and ohig.gers, hunting for potherb®, cutting supple sassafras for the lodge; we share tasks and stories and selves.

A sundown swim in green warm water, tall gray bluff's sheltering the cove; brownbodi>>s meeting, laughing, talking-innertubes float, buttocks skyward.

collective statement buddhist. h :ndu catholic, agnostic ch-'- stian.

Gathering in the kitchen we dodge plants and pots strung up like gourds; subtle soups eaten in silence to hold us through the evening.

pagan

fairy, not-pagan fairy, sissy, stiff ( stra >ght-id ent if ied A circle round the fire— We mask beh ind i i1 ies and pelvic bones, eagle wings and rabbit fur.

Our faces hidden, still hesitant to bare our bodies, We pass a crooked cage with magic stick and cast our demons to the flames.

faggot). macho, effeminate. feminist, artist, writer, realtor, druggist, farmer, si ngle. couple. m u 1t • communard, eypsy. renter, lander. ozark hi 1 Ifairy

a li-

ance (some of us sometimes), all labels, often handy, Into the sweat lodge— We sit on carpetals of rose and marigold, enclosed within the womb.

Smooth riverrocks release their heat, rolling clouds of fragrant steam around us.

Chanting, wa*erfight.-, and Indian songs— wr- play as long-lost, brothers.

perhaps dividin'1;? wo are we. we are. we, are. ozarks.

We are the Ozarks.

Like a mandala compass we point

in different directions, but all are necessary for the whole.

At the center is our point in common— our love

for this land.

When our skin yields no more salt, we rush to drown in ice cold water.

Emerging with delightful! screams, we christen each other with dippers.

A land of rocky hills and waterfalls,

bounded by the Arkansas River Valley and Ouachita Mountains

Running freely about a dying fire, a h xgh moon bl ows us d ry.

Glean bodvn'nds for a n e w season, we celebrate our beginning.

to the south, the Mississippi River delta to the east, the northern (corn) forest to the north, and the areal prairie to the west.

A cycle of endless springs and falls, — John Paul

scorching summers, and and fire combine

-entle winters.

arth, water, wind,

to form Gaia’s Ozark bio-rerion.

We come together and rive you this issue of RFD.

It

comes from our hearts, our heads, our hands, as we hav« been the People of this Place. others.

Pass it on, share us with

Gome visit for a week or a lifetime.

29

moving toward the mother BIO-REGIONALISM AND FAIRY POLITICS IN THE OZARKS A main thru:;t of poet Gary Snyder's work is th< dev-: lopment of a sense of place, Snyder con­ siders our greatest legacy from native Americans to be the sense of place-— that we have been here 10,000 years and will be here two thousand years from now,, Much of Snyder's poetry articulates his connection to hie home bioregion, northern Cali­ fornia and Oregon. His commitment to the region is an investment in the future.

Snyder says to us, wherever we are, "dig in."

Develop a tribal sense of community and place Learn thi plants, soils, climactic cycles, animals arid other beings oi the area which are all "ancient but also necessary components of the information by which we actually live" (The Real Work, 1979, P» 139).

In keeping with Snyder's Zen tradition, he takes it "all the way back down to what it means to get inside your belly and cross your legs and sit--to sit down on the ground of your mind, of your original r , your place, your people's his tory" (Tlx - h>-: _ . r k , pp. 118- 1 1 9 ). _Part of that task is learning where to "draw the line' against encroachment and destruction of an area. Snyder challenges us to begin the battle to keep our place livable and viable (sustaining a climax community of great variety) for a thous­ and years.

Right Action means sweeping the garden, and as Snyder's Zen teacher pointed out, "It doesn’t matter how big the garden is." Do what­ ever we can where w- are.

The Ozarks is fruitful ground for Snyder's message, for we have one of the most distinct biore,-,ions. in the United States. It is a "saveabie" but fragile wonderland and is steadily coming apart under the onslaught of development pressure, both ecological and economical. Five state govern­ ments and two federal regions divide the region with imaginary powerful lines.

A strong sense of Ozarks identification has developed in many economic, political and social group;', and in environmental research. They share dedication to regional self-reliance, sustainable economies, use of renewable resources and main­ taining the integrity of the natural environ­ ment. These groups are developing shared goals and energy through the Ozark Area Community Congress (OACC). The Congress represents a concept of poli­ tical consciousness operating as an extension of ecological law. We call it OAK because in the 0zark bio-region the oak tree is a living power source, creator, sustainer, healer and regenera­ tor.

In early October an ad hoc Congress was held to work toward offering "a unifying political ex­ pression for all the ecologically-oriented and es­ tablished groups, to show how such groups are naturally inter-related, and hew they work to­ gether to form a whole order which exists on another evolutionary level" (David Haenke, Swalows, Autumn, 1980, p, U ) . The representatives spent several days in topic workshops developing resolutions. The Ozark HiIlfairy Alliance submit­ ted a statement which was incorporated into the Feminist and Human Rights Caucus (MOTHER OAK) resolutions (see accompanying documents). Also arising out of the Congress was the development of an Ozarks News S e r v i c e and a telephone tom-tom line to relay vital information quickly.

OACC is important to gay men in the area for two main reasons. First, it is developing a bioregional form of cooperation (government?) which is responsive and sensitive to the needs of the whole community (both human and non-human). Sec­ ond, OACC provides a context where faeries can form coalitions to work toward their visions and goals (see Milo’s "Fairyism Not-Man-ifesto" else­ where in this issue), both in the Congress at large and, especially, w 1th womyn In the feminist cau­ cus, MOTHER OAK. - J o h n Paul

Working Statement October 1980 r Ozark '"Ifairy Alliance is a group of rural-orienteu g; ;..er. who are gathering together for fellowship and support. We choose th- name "faerie" for several reasons. First, we are t. ing a derisive term from our history and re-i.; propriating it, thereby giving us the power on iae word. Second, like the faeries of our childhood, we are androgynous beings, having both tradition­ al "masculine" and "feminine" characteristics.

Third, we believe in magiek — non-rational ways of communication, expression, healing and sharing.

Lastly, faeries are associated with wilderness and forests -- where we live.

We are feminist in our politics. We want to move beyond our culture's preoccupation with death to affirm the life-giving force of the earth. We wish to join with others in halting violence against persons and the planet and in beginning the long-overdue healing process. We are explor­ ing ancient/new ways of relating to others as we work to change the patriarchal system which op­ presses not only gays, but women, people of color and the unprivileged.

These concerns find concrete expression in our lives in many different ways: intentional living, consciousness raising, basically vege­ tarian diet, organic farming, collectives and co­ ops for food and living, support for energy al­ ternatives and geo-cultural self-sufficiency and holistic medicine.

A major project of our group is the estab­ lishment if a faerie sanctuary in the Ozarks.

This land will be a space in which gay people may function free from outside oppression. Held in common t r o u g h a land-trust, the sanctuary will oe r ■ If-euff icierit and cared for by people on the land. Jr.sanctuary will serve as a space for therings and workshops, a learning center for people making the transition to the country, a retreat for urban gays and a hostel fe: travelers.

At this time the Alliance is beg. ming to pull together. We are in the process of network­ ing -- finding out who is in the area, what their interests are, how we can connect and support each other. Our main project for the fall is pro­ ducing atn issue of RFD, a collective readers’ journal for country gaymen.

The Ozark Hillfairy Alliance wants to join other groups to form coalitions to pursue our common concerns. In turn, we ask for support in our struggle to end the oppression which denies our full being.

30

We have no great "Mission" set up...we often can’t give what the person needs, but we have books, we have counselors, doctors, ministers, attorneys and realtors that we can refer them to. We offer them love, understanding, a meal, a place to be alone and think, and we let the majic of the land we live on do most of the work.

There is need for more Sanctuaries, and it can be a house in a city with gatherings, re­ sources, sharing and community self-help, or it can be a secluded farm.

We here think the ideal goal is owning land— a land trust with many "cabins, dwellings and a self-sufficient group as care­ takers— with a- library, kitchen, workshops, accessability and seclusion.

Not all of these are necessary, obviously, since we rent our land, but these elements do fall into place as the need arises. SANCTUARY is funded by those who come contributing what they have to share.

This issue of RFD is an out-growth of that sharing.

The idea of sanctuary was discussed at the Colorado Gathering by Harry Hay and again by others across the country.

There seems to be a growing awareness, like a growing unconsciousness, that there needs to be established SANCTUARY... that place of safety and healing, concealed from %;the world at large.. .a place to share, to find ^acceptance, love, be re-charged when we need |it...in various areas across the country. >; The question posed by Logan's Run, "is there , |Sactuary?", can be answered yes as well as Harry sHay's plea for establishing. sanctuary--to both we |can say, YES! Sanctuary is maintaining its se|clusion, so a "list of sanctuaries" should never $be published.

Be it known to. those who have need |to know...there are several across the country! $ Accessability to SANCTUARY is through the ^networks already established (the fabric of which >'is woven finer with each publication of RFC) £ through the stream of gay consciousness flowing ^between the banks of pride and determination, § There's no mystical organization, no sacred rites $by which one learns the mystery of mysteries in border to find a rest-place.

In fact, the term |FAIRIE to which many of us identify, is mistakenly ^becoming synonymous with PAGAN, thus keeping; some Sfolks away who may need rest-healing. ^ The term FAIRIE sums up (for me) that child!jspirit that I never allowed to die from child<t;hood--my intimate bond with Nature, its energies, );its moods and passions.

FAIRIE to me says ^reverence for every living thing, ecological res­ ponsibility and economy in all things.

It requires |(for me) a belief in a Great Spirit— a Completo|Consciousness in the Universe. Add to that list ^Goddess worship (Paganism is a Matriarchy.

Pat­ riarchy was "established" to keep women in their !”places".), the connection of Pan as Father-Spiritpuardian of earth spirits and the plant world, the ? power of majic in all its forms, mystery and |ancient tradition, and you have a Fairie-Pagan. |Not all Pagans are Fairies, and not all Fairies |are Pagan by any means (I personally know some Fairies who are neither Pagan nor gay!).

So the v<idea of a Fairie Sanctuary should incorporate, ^even stress, openness to all, not just Fairie­ s'Pagans.

The Fairie Consciousness and the Pagan Srevival aren't one--they help each other, even ^complement each other-- but need to be separate $for many of us. £ SANCTUARY here in the Ozarks has evolved into a space for gathering for community contact |for those who have to remain invisible in their |work community. We gather to share things we |can share in no other place.

We share resources, £ ideas, recipes and hugs.

We have wounded souls ''show up on our doorstep occasionally, like the brother from Tallahassee who was burned out of his home in July because a Baptist Minister made a plea on the radio for "some good Christian to go to such and such address and BURN THOSE FAGGOTS OUT!", or the man going through a divorce, or the lonely alcoholic, or the eighteen year old need­ ing Someone to tell him that he's O.K., that he's not alone, or the man alone on his mountain feel­ ing isolated,

oacc

OZARK AREA COMMUNITY CONGRESS Feminism and Human Rights Caucus RESOLUTION, October 5th, 1930, Drury, Missouri, New Life Farm WHEREAS, discrimination bas'd upon sex, race, age, religion, political affiliation, sex­ ual preference or national origin, denies in­ herent rights, and is contrary to the life force of the universe, and; WHEREAS, we sc< the feminist perspective as a nurturing and healing means to overcome our cultural preoccupation with death, affirming the life giving force of the universe, and} WHEREAS, androgyny r- presents whol>-neso, the balance of the female and male principles: NOW, BE IT RESOLVED} That we announce the formation of MOTHER OAK, a bio-regional feminist caucus and urge that OACC supporti 1. The Equal Rights Ammendmerst.

2. Demilitarization and denuclearization.

3. The use of non-sexist language in all publications.

A. Health} including reproductive rights and freedom of choice, midwifery, mental health support, warning systems about dangerous products and practices; organ­ izing for corporate and medical account­ ability? self help education: safe al­ ternatives to current medical practices.

5. Education, including non-sexist, non­ violent child raising; elimination of sex tracking in our schools, i.e. shop vs. nome ec., women's and men's conscious­ ness raising groups, skill exchanges be­ tween sexes, the healing of homophobia (fear of homosexuality).

6 . An inclusion in the Ozark News Serviccof information of concern to women and feminists; 7. Women's economic rights, including sup­ port and training for women entering nontraditional occupations; womens work place organizing, a full employment, non­ sexist economy, availability of non-sex­ ist child care.

8 . Non-violence, including the eradication of violence against women; support for non-violent men; provisions for crisis support and shelters; the elimination of exploitive pornography and advertising.

9. Human rights, including the formation of coalitions among all oppressed people, including gay and lesbian people, people of color, the disabled, long lived people and children, to end all systems of op­ pression.

©tni^c^o

oo

There are a number of gay people at EastTWindi j our of us are male.

We share with the fortysix other members of our commune a love for the country and a desire to build an egalitarian society where a person's potentials are encourag­ ed regardless of co's age, gender, race, creed, or sexual preference.. Only two of us gays are sexually involved with one another.

Our choice to experiment with rural community involved giving up the social possibilities of the city.

Some of us have adapted to the lack of sexual part­ ners through bisexuality, maintaining a same-gender preference.

Others of us, including most of us men, have adapted by learning to "do without."

Largely, Occasionally a gay male will pass through East Wind; usually he is attracted to one of us and usually this results in a romp for the lucky guy.

This seldom happens, and the men who come through seldom stay. Why? They want a com­ munity with a larger selection of possible emotional/sexual intimates.

There are those who point out that the number of gays at East Wind already equals the national average of gays in the popu­ lation at large.

This is cold comfort, however, when the emotional wind blows chill and the days, full of challenge and clean air though they may be, drag with loneliness.

The benefits of rural community are immense.

Most of us prefer to live in a community more di­ verse than an all-gay group could be. We like having children to care for, and our straight friends are precious to us. East Wind is particu­ larly stable financially and well-organized.

Its lack of sexism is remarkable.

It is a practical, creative place affording chav.ces to learn new skills and live close to the earth realistically and harmoniously, year by year. We came here, and stay here, because we want this sort of life.

East Wind provides it, and until we find an alter­ native we like better, we are making it our home, sex and lovers or not.

If you are living in the city and contemplat­ ing a move to the country, or if you are a lonely, isolated homesteader sick of going it alone, a rural commune may be what you need. East Wind does give us emotional support and companionship.

We all depend on one another, and we know that when the going gets rough, there's someone there to csre.

If you can't live without a lover, rural community Isn't for you. You must build a mean­ ingful life for yourself whether or not the next man who comes through the gate is your Prince Charming.

If you do, you’ll be that much more attractive to people and lots happier.

Of course, it doesn't hurt along the way to let people know you exist.

You never know when somebody might drop by to better the odds.

Rand Lee East Wind Communitv Tecumseh, MO. 65? 6 0

<2

the promised land

or the sex of the person you choose to sleep with.

Our next venture was either a stunning success or a dismal failure, depending totally upon one's point of view. With the money earned from the sellout of the hog operation, we bought a newspaper.

My partner had been a printer and later a writerLife in the Ozarks is good photographer when we met in California. He had al­ ways wanted to ru . a rural weekly newspaper, so The Missouri Ozarks is a land of swift streams, we plunged in. We hired a staff of other back-torunning clear and pure toward sinuous lakes. It the-landers, or hippies as some of the local com­ is a land of dogwoods and redbud in the spring munity saw it, and set about trying to build a and crimson maples in the fall; gentle and brief really good paper that was relevant to life in snowfalls in winter and lazy days spent nude beside a rural area. On the positive side, it became a a summer creek.

The Ozarks is also a land of state award-winning publication and supported a opportunity with some of the least expensive land number of talented folk living in communes.

On left in North America. the negative side it lost money at an overwhelming I suppose that the inexpensive land is the rate. primary factor that brought my partner and me to As we worked at the paper, we became much more settle here in 1968. We were, however, somewhat open about our relationship.

Our old paranoia naive with regards to life in an underdeveloped began to disappear as we realized that v;e were area. With inexpensive land, one often finds a only answerable to each other, our staff, and scarcity of jobs, and those jobs that can be found ultimately our readers. The newspaper became the don't tend to pay what one has come to expect in fastest growing weekly in the state of Missouri, the urban areas, or even the more highly developed so I guess our readers were satisfied, and we rural areas. struggled to turn the publication into a staffIf it was the inexpensive land that brought us owned enterprise.

That didn't work, but another here in the first place, it was just as surely very positive aspect of the business was that the the dogwood and the creeks that have seduced us and straight business community accepted us in a way kept us here for the past twelve years.

We will that wr had never dreamed possible, or for that both die here ultimately, but what amazing truths are here to learn in the many years between discovery matter desirable.

Between us we were elected president ol the and death.

Chamber of Commerce, Rotary, Kiwanis, the University And so we began to learn certain facts about Extension Council and founding board members of life in a somewhat frontier society.

First of all, the sheltered workshop for retarded adults.

But very few folks have seemed particularly interested in whom one sleeps with.

In the beginning, we were friends, business in thin country does not prosper very closeted, but as the years have passed we have merely by good deeds and hard work. We had, stead­ become increasingly open about our relationship. fastly, refused to favor the advertisers Perhaps a few people have been offended, but we when there were conflicts between the business have yet to encounter a situation where we have community and what we saw an th« greater good of been treated badly or felt excluded from groups the community at Large, This had nothing whatso­ or activities that were of interest to us. ever to do with our xual orientation, at least If jobs don't exist in a rural area, o m can on the surface. create one's own job. Our tasks are no harder The financial problems, however, continued than those faced by a single woman with small to mount. We considered th< possibility of trying children living in an urban setting.

In fact, to finance the paper through subscriptions, but we probably have it somewhat easier. to do so would have required us to raise the price Perhaps the vegetarians will forgive me for of a subscription to about eighteen dollars per this paragraph, but let me tell you about one of year.

This is not feasible when subscriptions our first projects back in the late 1960's. Back had traditionally cost about five dollars. in those days, like all good paranoid woods fairies, Since we had kept the farm when we went to we were terribly frightened that if anyone discovered town, we were able to borrow against it to finance the true nature of our relationship, we would be the paper, but after several years and many thou­ immediately fired from our jobs. No job, no farm sands of dollars of debt, we finally decided to payment, and we would do anything to save our farm. sell the newspaper and do something different.

We bought seven little gilts with what money we Our sexual orientation was not the problem. could scrape together.

For those of you still The problem was one of refusing to produce a trapped in the city, a gilt is a young female pig paper in the customary fashion. that has not yet had a litter.

With our limited At the present time, we are both in real estate. resources, the gilts we were able to buy were not This has been a perfect solution for us. We spend much larger than a poodle, but acorns are free in our time selling the Ozarks, and at th< same time the Ozarks, and with a little supplement the gilts make a good living. We are able to stay here grew.

Five or six months down the pike, a neighbor in the Ozarks and still fulfill our other needs as we grow old together. agreed to let us use his boar in return for my Our group of friends includes several other partner doing some work for him, so we got our gilts gay couples and also several straight couples. bred. We worked and waited another four months Today we find ourselves thinking that couples while the gilts swelled and the feed bill soared, have perhaps less in common with singles than do but finally they all had pigs. We had constructed gays and straights. But that, my friends, would from logs a pen for them to farrow in, and all be another story. went well. Luck was on our side because when the Steve Bennett little dudes reached salable size, about threeP.0. Box 1 0 3 6 Ava, Missouri 65608 months later, the feeder pig market was reaching one of its high points. We had both continued to work off the farm though we lived in constant fear of being fired if homophobic bosses discovered our relationship. At any rate, with the market high we were able to hold back the young gilt pigs and catch up on our feed bills by just selling the castrated males as feeder pigs. By the middle 7 0 's we had one of the largest hog operations in Ozark County.

Then, in another high market, we sold out the hog operation in order to buy the time to further explore both our relationship and other aspects of life. . point that I am trying to make is that . y°u produce a good feeder pig, the buyer cares aosolutely nothing about the color of your skin 33

It seems that aphrodisiac powers hsve been bestowed on nearly everything that exists. APH30DlSlAC-«say the word ana the reactions v a r y from incredulous to bright eyed interest. Most fre­ quently, however, there is acme degree of e n c h a n t ­ ment at least, with the idee or possibility (Aphro­ d i t e undoubtedly K n e w e x a c t l y whet she w a s doing when she lent her name:).

Historically and presently there ere certain herbs that one is always able to find someone who will swear, "it works for me." And they do work.

On the other hand one can always find an authority who will swear that they, in fact, do not exist.

The controversy seems to always involve the quest­ ionable mental states of the persons involved in the experimentation.

And rightly so; given the proper mood, the right coupling of mental energies end physical attraction, a glass of water shared can do the trick very nicely(no pun intended).

However, there are several herbs which do contain active constituents which could and should create the desired result.

Perhaps we should analyze the possibilities of how these various substances can affect our mood or indeed our auras end therecy render us more vulnerable to our sexuality.

We will need something to "take the edge off" end relax our inhibitions, something to get "the circulation moving, particularly in the pelvic area, something to heighten our mental reception end something to "touch that nerve".

In short, a combination of things to create that inner plea­ surable feeling that comes from being "horny".

Several things will relax our inhibitions.

Among the more readily available ere Marijuana(I have a friend who swears by Tequille Verde that lie makes with bU Cm. of Marijuana and a pint of lequilla, allowing it to steep cold for a couple of weeks} end my favorite, Jasmine flowers, a fine mellowing drink.

Yohimbe causes vasodilation in the pelvic ares and Saw Plemetto berries(a real pain to grindyou may find a hammer handy to crack the inner seed or berry) create a sort of tingling in the genital area through very slight irritation.

Gotu Kola stimulates the brain and Damians somehow acts to create a 'sexual awareness".

Cloves and Cinnamon stimulate the general circuletion(not tonention adding flavor) and a spot of good Csnseng in a hot tea can really add a re­ vitalizing lift.

3A

do, we've concocted a combination to render or sexually vulnerable or in short, "make us hornY • Ana by analyzing our combination we know now it should and will worn, but the final ingred­ ient that is the greatest adjuvant i 3 the alchemic energy involved in putting the mixture together— the incantations said over it either consciously or indirectly vie our fantasies.

Use it— grind it end pack it into capsules or grind it and maKe it into a tee; enjoy it-share it with a friend. And "when eyes meet eyes and the feeling is strong" extend yourself, broaden your reality. YOU can't help but allow "that nerve to be touched".

H arve st

The finch flits its sunbody in a golden oak as the roar of crimson crow-wings sends my head rolling down a rock.

A rumble crumbles the rock like waves on the shore as a barge snails up the water-ribbon.

The valley sheds green skin for brown and its parent river turns to steel.

poetry

Snakes and snails hibernate.

Tired Phoebus makes a smaller, colder arc.

The combi ne eats soy beans in the void with a star stolen from Orion doing headstands in the sky.

— Wm Beck

B'l ankets

Sparse soil covers old cold stone; colder snow upon a tin trailer.

Blankets on papers on rugs still don’t, keep the floor warm.

My underwear of thermal pain clings closely to my unwashed bodv.

Unexpressed emotions lie beneath 1 ■/err of indifference, diffusing my anger and muffling your touch.

After shedding my winter skins of sh'rts and socks and sweaters I coil dark naked beneath powerful! blankets.

My skin breathes again Its pungent odor.

Massaged feet finally circulate my blond.

Fingers and genitals hang freely.

The wild geese hurry south, beneath a cei1ing of orange-bellied clouds.

— Mel Riley

On!v at night !n the heavy cave of my bed can I be w ith you, can I release my a n ^ r and fear through fantasy masturbat >on.

In the icy morning T nut on my layers of protection, look at my face, and blank it, too.

— Wm Beck

my kills manu Dilly Bread Dissolve in Add Cover Add:

Heat: Add: Put: Shape: Allow: Cheese Spreadj

2 tablespoons (T) yeast cup (C; warm water a little honey or sugar to mixture with saucer; if mixture foams and rises, the yeast is good.

1 C chopped onion 2 T whole dill seed 2 teaspoons (t) salt 2 C cottage cheese 2 T honey 2 T oil 2 eggs beaten mixture until scalded; it cools.

add yeast after

5 C whole wheat flour (you should have a soft dough); knead. in greased bowl; let rise one hour; knead down, into 2 loaves to rise kO minutes or more

Bake

Mix?

pound Swiss or Muenster cheese grated ;â&#x2013; C chopped chives C green olives, chopped $ C mayonnaise or yogurt 1 T milk Teak' sur* it is mixed together thoroughly.

Sprout Spreads Mix:

C soft butter C alfalfa sprouts juice of 1 lemon i t salt pinch of cayenne Mak' sure it is, mixed together thoroughly.

1

Fopcorr. and Company Two (2) T drippings in a heavy deep pan adds extra flavor to popcorn, Cover bottom of pan with popcorn; let it pop.

Gourmet Popcorn for the Popcorn Connoisseur:

Chili Mix the following and simmer until dene:

To freshly popped corn add any of the following combinations: salt and butter (the old standby) sauteed onion or garlic in butter melted honey, butter, and peanut butter (1 T of each) cayenne, tamari, and brewer's yeast (to taste)

3 C red kidney beans 3 C pinto beans 6 C navy or pork *n* beans 5 C canned tomatoes 1 package Williams* chili seasoning or 1 t garlic Zucchini Tug Boat 1 t cumin ~ ----â&#x2013; VLth all. this leftover chili, take one of those 1 | t cayenne giant zucehinis and slice it in half.

Scrape 1 t paprika out seed. Steam until tender. Drain juice 1 i t oregano ir. vegetable stock for Kitchen Sink Soup. or seasonings to taste Fill zucchini with hot chili and grate cheese 1 C chopped onion on the top. Brown in oven and serve.

-Oir 1 C chopped green or red pepper 1 C mushrooms (add right before serving) Hint When Cooking Beans To add that hearty meat taste, combine several varieties of beans and forget the meat.

P o tatoes for Ma r hi;.

Wash spuds and leave clothes on. Slice and boil in water with a little taraari or salt.

Save water for potato bread.

Mash potatoes with butt er, cayenne, and sour cream, 'i'he leftover potatoes keep very nicely in the fridge.

Gravy k T melted butter

chopped onion, 1 T sage, garlic to taste sauteed; all optional 2 T flour 1 C cottage cheese 2 C yogurt Blend melted butter, sauteed seasonings, and flour. Add dairy products and cook to desired thickness. Pour over mashed potatoes,,

Breakfast In the morning add ogre to potatoes plus chopped vegetables and fry in butter or oil until brown on both side:.

The Morning After* Herb Vinegars

Shepherd's Pie If you’re lucky enough to still have fresh spinach in the garden in the middle of November, use it.

Here in the Ozarks Indian summer comes and goes, allowing growth of leaf crops with a little straw for protection on cold nights.

Oil a baking dish and line it with fresh spinach leaves.

Now's the time to ad lib.

If you're in luck, there's a fresh pot of leftover beans and mashed potatoes.

Spice it all up with garlic, onion, grated cheese, dry or prepared mustard (to taste).

Add chopped steamed or sauteed vegetables. Any leftover will do.

Layer baking dish with any combine! tion of above along with spinach.

Bake in 3 5 0 ° oven until done, about 3 0 minutes.

That half-full bottle of wine left from last night's dinner in wonderful for br-wing your own fresh herb vinegar! Add a couple of tablespoons of white vinegar to each cup of red (or white) wine.

Let stand covered with a cloth at room temperature for a w ok or two, rebottle, cork it, and store in a cool place.

Take th<-- above vinegar, add 2 teaspoons of dried leaves (crumbled) to ‘-ach pint of liquid, or l ounce seed (crushed) per quart, or 1 cup loosely packed fresh sprigs or loaves tnruiseu; to every pint. Strain out the herbs after lotting stand a few days; otherwise they’ll keep getting stronger. Cork and store in cool plac*. . Some suggested combinations* — tarragon, peppercorns, thym< — celery seed (or dry leaves) arid sage --basil and oregano --marjoram and sliced onion — thyme and rosemary — rose geranium (leaves) — mint and strips of lemon peel Another favorito--add oil to a jar of fresh herb leaves.

It preserves the loaves for using later and adds great flavor to the oil for salads, and for basting.

For a real treat for gift-giving, or just giving yourself a treat, try placing a bottle over peach (or apricot) blossoms when they first start shattering in the spring (bees have done their thing by then). Be sure it is shaded by leaves so that the sun doesn't cook the little fruits.

When the 2 or 3 fruits ripen pick the peaches, bottle ar;d all. Pull out th- twig and leaves, pour full of brandy, and cork. Give it a few weeks and oo-la-lai J. L.

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nt dilferent stages of his society's deve'.• ',l’ man *!u:' had different perceptions of n ivanity* Phi.; article distinguishes three percep­ tions oi divinity, and it shows those perceptions' .>ns with economic and sexual arrangements, ihf article closer by examining spiritual options for rural gays. __s

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STA££ ON£i Huntin. -GatheVin Yand / Mother. Goddesses

human race first survived by gathering wild fruits, nuts, grains and roots, and by hunt­ ing and trapping other animals. During the early Stone A; , we took what the earth provided; we were not active to cultivate, to fertilize or to husband the earth to produce more than what she brought forth unassisted. In a tribe of gatherers and hunters, males ranged far to procure enough food; feraal- .• gathered close to camp, so as to mother the young and to guard the possessions.

Consequently, the home place and the goods at it were considered the possession of the females, to which males cess but not ownership. Families were reatrilocal” because a male moved into a female's family's camp when a couple united.

Earliest man did not understand the connec­ tion between sexual intercourse and pregnancy.

Reproduction,therefore, was solely the female's capacity. Hence, the tribes were "matrilineal", that is, they traced ancestry through the female l } '■ ' • Coitus was for recreation, tti reation.

Fecundity, nurture and ecstasy were most valued by people of Stage One. In such a society, divinity would have be_.. perceived as females their divinity was the Great Mother Earth, from whose womb all things issue.

MaJv deities, if present, would have been secon ary, and Dionysiac, the happy, the virile, the victimc These Stage One generalizations apply ee the inhabitants of Greece before the Hellenic inL vasions and to many hunting tribes of Native North Americans. r

33

STAGE TWO: Farming-Herding and Father Gods As mankind learned to farm and to herd an­ imals, our social and sexual arrangements also changed; and with them our views of divinity changed too, so that the male became predominant.

Among a tribe of farmers, males stay at home to plow the earth, to fertilize and to seed It. The farmers' active intervention is necessary lor the earth to produce. Similarly, every manag­ ed herd needs a bull as well as cows to multiply and to yield milk.

To farming and herding soc-° ieties, then, the necessity of males becomes ob­ vious and ubiquitous. Furthermore, once that con­ nection between coitus and pregnancy is under­ stood, then sexual intercourse becomes a serious, a procreative, enterprise. Where paternity is crucial, males hold and rule land, houses and children. That is, farming and herding tribes are usually patrifocal, patrilineal and patriarchal.

Meso-Americans and Hebrews are examples of patri­ archal farming and herding societies. Possesions, potency and reason are most valued by them.

The gods of such Stage Two tribes are either of both sexes as when the older Mother Earth is lorded over by Zeus, or by Apollo, the brilliant, the wrathful, the fertilizing master of the sky; or else divinity is perceived as exclusively male, as when the God of Abraham displaces all others, as He did in the Near East, the Mediter­ ranean and Europe, and as He is even now uoxng m sub-Sahara Africa.

Second, neo-paganism is unsatisfying be­ cause it has such flimsy intellectual underpin­ nings. To the reason of man, paganism is a shriek in the woods, and no one who has encount- red science even at the elementary level can live by shrieks in the woods. Third, paganism provides no framework from which tc do social criticism. How can we ever articulate our opposition to fascism and answer Anita if all we have for teachings is chants about holy Nature? Fourth, paganism is de­ ficient in helping its adherents to face death.

That deficiency (and its intellectual weakness) are two causes of the failure of Homeric paganism in the classical world. Finally, as the devotees of Cycbele in the classical world found out, wor­ ship of the Female culminates in castration. Thus, except for gays who wish to be castrated, Neo­ paganism will not do, either.

Nor will Christianity work (Stage Two), at least not the revivalist forms of Christianity which many rural Americans have grown up with.

Judaism and Christianity in their familiar forms are too locked into the Fatherhood mentality which over-values paternity, and which exploits the weak, and which dishes up jilt for its members to run on, while at the same time promising to absolve that guilt if the members are craven enough. Furthermore, educated men know too much about the "ible to worship it; w«. have read too much Old Testament glee about sacr-d butchery, and too much New Testament glee about Uv end or the world. We have •n two ivu conversions con­ trived by emotional manipulation.

What then is left? Our city cousins of the Metropolitan Community Church are choosing to modify Christianity in wry; compatible with the gay state, and compatible with the Stag* Thro* consciousness in which city men dwell.

But the answer of the MCC is not for us, because our hearts are not in the city.

In fact, many of us have decided that urban crowding, artificiality and exploitation are destructive of our souls, and so the industrialist Stage Thrcn conscious­ ness cannot suit us th< way it might suit MCC':; members.

But MCC's technique of s< Ucting < Lements from various traditions and of adapting them for gay purposes is promising. Our adopting some Buddhist techniques cf meditation has already been mentioned.

In addition, from paganism can c to us a fresh realization of the sacredness of nature, and a new awareness of our place in th« vast whole.

Then, too, paganism looks more be­ nignly upon non-reproductive sex.

And what elements in Christianity fire worth , Gays (it is said) are more sensitive to beauty.

Now, what musically mature Westerner in prepared to forego, as incompatible with ids beliefs, the music of Palestrina, of Tallis, Bach, Handel and Vaughn Williams? Or what literate Westerner is prepared to forget, as false to his religion, the poetry of Ambrose, of Fortunatus, Aquinas, Milton, and Ken? And so forth: our ' of high culture is so permeated with Chris t-iani +;y that we would impoverish our selves drast.or i.ly by denying Christian arts to ourselves, Ir. short, you can put gay men in the country, but you car. t make them bumpkin: .

Finally, why should not RFD spirits look more closely at the magnetic young man from a village in Galilee who drew about him eleven other men, and d t is written) tenderly loved on< of them? He spoke on lakesides and taught on hillsides; he challenged the establishment and befriended outcasts.

Is this Jesus not akin to us? Could RFD men not glimpse in him something of the Archetypdcal Man, a reflection of the Cosmic Principle of natural order and malt beauty and divine power?

STAGE THREE: Industrialization and God/dess Most of Western history has occurred in Stage Two. Now, however, modern man is entering a third stage. In this century, industrialization and automation are making obsolete the sexual divisions of labor and of property. Birth control is disconnecting once again coitus and pregnancy and is returning sex to the category of recrea­ tion. Males and females alike are being liberat­ ed from patriarchal roles and mentalities oi Stage Two. What of divinity? Some argue that divinity should now be perceived as unisexual or a-sexual: "The Creator", not "our Father." Scriptures art being scrutinized to erase "sexist terminology, and scholastic teachings that God is really "with­ out body, passion or parts" are being retrieved.

Others argue that divinity should now be perceived as bisexual or adrogynous, as "Our Mother/Father." Scriptures are being combed to find feminine images such as Holy Wisdom, and Mariology is being mined to supply the other­ wise absent female half of Westerners' divinity.

Still others argue that entirely new per­ ceptions of divinity should be expressed, percep­ tions which include the famale as did Stage One goddess worship.

mai, ilclYC — do'with reaadrs of RFD? This: Many of us are coming out of a Stage Thr£e world, and we are choosing to make farmers of ourselves, which has been tradition­ ally Stage Two position. However, many aspects oj Stage Two mentality are incompatible with us, for Stage Two is usually homophobic. Therefore, we are groping for some new spirituality which bet­ ter fits us.

In that search, some of us have turned East­ ward, and have examined religions there. But many who have turned have found that they could digest only bits of Buddhism (for example), be­ cause the assumptions on which Oriental religions are based are assumptions so foreign to our West­ ern conciousness as to be incomprehensible. Few Westerners can picture reality in terms such as Nirvana and an-sd;ta. The concepts are baffling.

Westerners can,however, adopt techniques, say, of Oriental meditation.

Other searchers among us have tried to re­ vert to Stage One, and have thrust their spirits back into the womb of the Great Mother, calling themselves "pagans.” But the leap does not get most of us where we want to b e , for several rea­ sons* First, such psychological retrogression demonstrates the accuracy of the Freudian path­ ology of homosexuality in the case of gay con­ verts to goddess worship; that is, they are (cosmicly) Mamas' Boys.

39

Hi iFl Ri \RuG prim A R DerE ^n If you're planning on putting in a herb garden in 1 9 8 1 , and you've never done it before (at least not with any success), here are some suggestions to help smooth your path.

I have grown herbs in extreme southern Florida, Arizona, Connecticut and Missouri, and I've found that the steps to success with this class of plants are the same wherever I've been. (l) Start out with some good reference books.

T-h.1-- Ferial»- Herb Book (Rodale Press) is as good as any and better than most; it's available in hardcover or paperback.

This book goes into all aspects of herb gardening and herb use, covering aromatics, ornamentals, medicinals, dyers' herbs, and culinary herbs. About half the volume is a herbal encyclopedia detailing backgrounds, uses and culture of an impressive number of plants.

The black-and-white photographs are clear and helpful. Use this book to help you determine what kind of herb garden you want and what kind of herbs you want to grow there. Also excellent is Herb Gardening. At Its Best by Sal Gilbertie, a hardcover volum that gives a professional'j approach to horn herb culture.

It contains number of garden plans, (2) Decide how large a garden you can easily handle.

Though herbs aren't terribly fussy organisms, they do need some care, and there's no point in working yourself into a January dither over the vast stretches of aromatica you're going to ring about your heme- if, come August, you've got too many tomatoes and zucchini coming in to think about whether your basil needs harvesting. A 4' X 8 ' garden is ample growing space for any beginning herb enthusiast. Assuming you fill the bed with herbs, back to front, and seeing as most herbs like to be spaced one foot apart, a plot that size could hold as many as 45 plants.

That’s a lot of botanical material for your kitchen or parlor and a good source of cuttings and divisions for the following season.

(3) 1 like to grow herbs in raised beds.

They are easier to maintain than ground-level beds; usu­ ally tend to be better drained, less prone to weed infestation, and better looking.

I use cement blocks or unmortared bricks to line my beds to the height of one to two feet, and I've found that I need at least two feet between each bed so I can tromp in and out and around (some folks insist on leaving at least four feet around the garden's periphery).

I never make a bed more than four feet wide because anything wider makes reaching the middle difficult, unless you have very long arms (whi ch I don' t).

(4) Select a locati on in full sun where your bed can face south, running lerigthwise east and west. By and large, herbs need full sun if they are to gather- enough enei'gy to produce strong essential oils and come into flower and set seed.

Some species adapt to partial shade and a few demand it. Avoid sunbaked areas. This is parti­ cularly vital for those of you who live in Florida, California, Arizona and coastal Texas. My mother's Key West herb bed nearly died a desperate, clawing death before I suggested she rig up some sort of sunshade for it.

(5) Herbs must have well-drained earth; that is, soil which, after a x'ain, is neither muddy morass nor Gobi Desert, but a crumbly, loamy, moist mixture.

Don’t think because your situation isn't perfect that you can't have a herb garden.

If you have only partly sunny space with no south­ ern exposure, you can grow herbs for leaf alone (less of a light need) facing west.

If your soil is a worm's nightmare or a potter's dream, the addition of aged compost, good topsoil, and sand (for the potter’s field) will improve matters con­ siderably. Gypsum works great on clay soil, too.

Don't forget to mulch! Mulching after the ground warms up in the spring helps conserve moisture and regulate surface temperature. Herbs are quite 40

usually shallowly rooted, and summer sun can scorch roots too close to the top of the ground.

(6 ) This is why, when you water, you must water your beds thoroughly.

Shallow watering encourages roots to stay even closer to the surfce than they would otherwise, rendering them easier prey to the ravages of the elements.

Water in the morning, too. Plants seem more prone to disease when they are watered at night, and afternoon sun often b u m s leaves through the magnifying-glasses of water-droplets.

(7) Most herbs will thrive in only moderately fertile soil. Some, like lavender, sage, and French tarragon, like a little lime added to their growing medium.

Some, in particular parsley, benefit a great deal from midseason side-dressings of aged compost. Contrary to popular belief, herbs are bothered by insect pests (leaf-miners, mostly), but damage is greatest in areas where soil is poorest or garden clean-up the least thorough.

In other words, added compost through the season might not be necessary for the plants to survive, but it certainly doesn't hurt, and may give them that extra boost they need to weather predator and climactic attacks.

(Don't fertilize nasturtiums, though: you'll get few flowers.)

(8 ) Most herbs may be started from seed.

Perennial herbs, however, seem to take a million years to grow to maturity.

Often their seeds have a l o w germination rate.

If you do grow perennials from seed, be sure to sow indoors in late winter so that they'll be transplanting size come spring.

Sweet marjoram is one of the r.erbs treated as an annual that takes forever to grow in this way.

This is because marjoram is really a tender perennial; most true annuals grow quickly from seed.

(Sweet basil practically springs up overnight.) A great many herbs, per­ ennial and annual, may be started from cuttings or divisions of root. Herb-growing neighbors are often a good source of plants for this reason.

I resort to commercially grown plants when I v.ar.l zo &row a species that's not readily avail­ able- in seed form or needs appallingly special handling.

French tarragon is*one herb I always start from field-grown plants.

The "tarragon" seed you see in_the_stores is seed of Russian tarragon, a culinarily worthless variety.

The beginning herb gardener might do well to purchase plants the first year and divide or take cuttings -rom 'them thereafter. An expensive but reliable commercial herb grower is Taylor's Herb Gardens Inc., 1 5 3 5 Lone Oak Road, Vista, CA 92083 (cata­ log 50?).

They ship all over the United States. . ~or -ur"kher information on herbs, consult The Herb Quarterly, a new and very fine periodi­ cal gaining recognition as one of the best herb gardening organs in the country.

I publish a monthly newsletter called "The Grass Roots Herb Society Newsletter;" a year's subscription only costs $2.4c for 1 2 issues, and each issue con­ tains a well-selected miscellany of herb lore cover rig all aspects of the art.

I'll send you a sample copy for 2 5 0 .

-Rand B. Lee

We all start out as wide-eyed idealists, full of visions of self-sufficiency, living off the land, escaping the puppet strings of self-defeating bureaucracy. Because we may start the process of moving to our farmstead by blind idealism and emotionally based decisions, we are apt to fall somewhere along the road when reality strikes.

This is an attempt to point out some factors that may soften the reality process as it unfolds.

Acquiring land, of course, is the first step to being a "lander,” and the ways and means of doing it, along with a whole dictionary of real estate jargon, could fill a book. However, a few basic principles should be observed: (1) Price: know what you can afford to pay in terms of income, and leave yourself enough money for "fixing up." Sorry are those folks who drop their savings into a down-payment, sit and dream of what they will do when the money comes in, and in the meantime watch the place be repos­ sessed.

(2) Look at the _land: sure, it's beautiful, it has trees; but will It grow a garden? Is there ample water? Is it polluted beyond repair?

Is there access, or do you have to backpack in^ across Mr. Jones' back pasture? Does it flood?

If it's an old farmstead, there will be an old garden to look at; if not, will it take a thou­ sand dollar bulldozer job to clear garden space?

(3 ) Neighbors: most places have some, but what kind are they? Will they steal your dog and kitchen sink; do they have funny hooded sheets hanging on their back porch? Only by observing their appearance, meeting and discussing the neighborhood will you be able to guess.

Getting along well with those neighbors is important if you are to live there.

Upon acquiring the land, your first concern should be shelter. It's fine to get the ground in your name, go out and play on it and dream; but if you can't live there you cut your work efficiency by 7 5 % in travel to and from and gen­ erally being somewhere else. Even if there's no house, a barn or outbuilding can be repaired and made into a livable structure for the first year or two while you construct a permanent dwelling.

Having an adequate water supply I consider a part of your shelter: part of a place to rest and replenish yourself in order to continue work on the farmstead.

Following shelter preparation should be pre­ paring a garden space for quick food supply: cleaning, clearing, tilling, working in nutrients, and fencing out the varmints that love tender young plants as much as you do. Mulch it heavily g' to save you weeding time during the long days of .

...

summer when you can better use your time driving nails.

At long last the orchard's time comes.

The wide-eyed idealist usually puts this one first, ahead of what I’ve listed, using the rationale that since (dwarf) fruit trees take 2 - 3 years of growing before they first bear fruit, then one should do those first, The problem with doing the orchard before the house ia that you're not there when the fruit trees need you: (a) They take regular watering (summer and winter if it is dry); always water weekly or twice weekly the first year during all of the growing seasons. (b) Deer love to de-antler themselves on the young trees, scarring the trunks, and allow­ ing the certainty of borers that eliminate a tree in one season. (c) Borers, twlg-gird.1 ers, scale, leaf-rollers cedar-apple rust, bligh+• all can attack, probably will, and certainly will weaken or kill the tree before going on to the next. (d) Moles, gophers, groundhogs: all like living quarters in orchards, allowing moisture into the soil, sure, but also allowing dry heat and cold dehydration of fragile root systems.

So if you can’t furnish the time and attention your orchard needs, don't waste time and energy (and money) "doing an orchard" before the necessi­ ties are taken care of.

Last, but equally as important as any of the rest (maybe more so), is planning: make a plan and stick to it. Plan the money you have to spend» plan where structures, gardens, fences are to go; ^ ^ b e realistic about your needs and your means. Vi'.v sit others who have "made the move" first. Check / out their planning (or lack of it). Look over, "* if y0u can, a grand underground house built by a wide-eyed idealist: half of the.walls built, no windows, no heat, no cooking space, but lots of wide-eyed dreams still afloat years later arid the W. E. I. still tryipg to live in it. Learn by his lack of plan, his cold hards and wind-blown hair as the snow flies through the dreamed-of windows.

Then ^o home and think about honest, realistic planning.

All in all, moving back to the land can be a wonderful experience, full of growth and sat­ isfaction, many moon-lit nights with a friend beside you in your hammock, stomachs full of home-grown foods, and smiles on your faces from a happy hard day's work.

The dreams and the reality have to be forged into one with a whis­ per, a plan, some hope, and lots of hard work.

Happy "Landing!" jl <«1

Do

U Spell

Z u c c h i n i With O n e

Yuk O r Two

The Great Zucchini and the German Boy will always come to mind when I think of this past summer. They are irrevocably bound together as one.

Joerg arrived long before the Great Zucchini, but his arrival triggered the whole thing. He really wasn't thinking of me or zucchini when he arrived.

In fact, he was searching for a share­ cropper's cabin!

To qualify as an exchange stu­ dent, he had don' extensive research in Germany on John Steinbeck and the American Depression, and he had roamed from Kansas to Oklahoma to the Ozarks in search of the "real thing." The fact that he never found a Dust Bowl must have dis­ appointed him greatly and undermined his faith in American literature.

Even though my paltry income as a public school teacher is far from adequate, I am a poor substitute for a sharecropper.

I was out in t h e yard try in;: to stretch my salary further by startin; a small vegetable garden in a cleared space beside my old house when Joerg wandered 'round the bend and asked for a drink of water I gavf him a drink, and he stayed the entire summer, which must have disappointed eagerly wait­ ing sharecroppers on down the road* It was Joei\ , in fact, v/ho brought home the innocent-appear irig packet of seeds from the local general store.

The owner was unable to pronounce the name, and hc thought "George" might like 'em.

We planted two whole rows the length of our gardv • n* plot.

Ah, } • 1 l* t the vicissi ’ ’ A1>*•1tud VV-«w 1 es ,.J of J. « a, VI cruel UUJ. XUUCl fate!

Both the garden and our relationship flouri. hed. i-ach morning we proudly viewed the re­ sults of our labor as they lifted dewy arms to the j sun. L i u was beautiful as were the tomatoes, j peppers, corn and beans.

However, late June arrived and with it the unrelenting heat and sun of the worst drought since j • Depression.

If Joerg thought this was carrying things too far, h* never said so, but his ) eyes developed a haunted look as hot day followed hot day. ;■ lie w« watched tie beans, peppers, and other \ vegetables shrivel and turn brown despite our wa\ tering them with'gallons of water lu.jged nightly Qrom the nearby creek.

The zucchini, however, loved the hot summer i~un and quickly covered the entire garden plot wi th large leaves and orangish blossom;-, Ir.aoc- nts that we wer- , we were happy that the summer garden would not be a complete loss.j Usually when we went to the creek for water, J we indulged ourselves in a cooling skinny-dip, ! but one night after groping happily about under water, we surfaced to find ourselves face to face j f s I I * s J

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with the largest, ugliest water moccasin I've ever seen! We must have run on water, for we raced into the house in record time.

There we flung ourselves into bed and pulled the hot sheets over our heads. After that, we approached both the creek and the garden with great trepida­ tion. Who knew what evil might be lurking beneath the green depths of each?

We watched the first fruits of our labor daily remarking upon their size. We could hardly wait to saute them in fresh cow's butter.

How good they were the first time we ate them! And how proud we were of ourselves!

There were enough to give to friends the second and third days, but by the sixth day, the zucchini were beginning to get a little dull, so Joerg began to search through recipe books for new ways to cook them.

We began to range further away finding friends to give fresh zucchini.

By the third week, we began to find fewer and fewer friends at home, but we generously left a bushel or so on their porches.

Some cowardly people took their children inside and locked their’ doors when they saw us coming, A few even yelled at us as v/e sped away after leaving them a fresh gift.

I think a farmer actually fired a shot after us, but I'm not sure. We were beginning to' become unpopular.

The Scourge of the Hills, in fact.

Have you ever tried Zucchini Surprise? It's made of everythin you can find in the refriger­ ator baked en casserole with zucchini topped with cheese.

It's not a gourmet's delight, but we tri-d it. And zucchini cake, zucchini bread, zucchini pie, etc., etc., ad infiniturn. Joerg thought his zucchini dill pickles were quite good, but no one agreed. We even considered letting one zucchini grow quite large and entering it in the Hope Watermelon Festival as a dark horse.

Ever the inventive one, Joerg made some cute zuc­ chini cock rings, but they tended to become slimey and turn an unappetizing dull brown.

We baked zucchini, fricasseed zucchini, fried 'em, boiled 'em, and dried 'em. We ate them every way known to mankind and several ways never heard of before.

We were in the middle of a glut, but neither of us had nerve enough to destroy the plants. Each night we went to bed exhausted from dealing with heat and zucchini, and every morning we drove ourselves out of bed dreading to face the Great Zucchini.

Sex was a thing of the past.

In fact, Joerg had tried to leave, but I had begged him so piti­ fully that he agreed to stay until the end of the summer or death, whichever came first. He was certainly learning first hand about being a sharecropper in the Great Depression.

Nature in all its awfulness finally came to our rescue.

The creek dried up! The water in the well was so low that we could hardly spare any for bathing, much less for watering over­ sexed zucchini plants. Without our unwilling aid, they died, dried up, and blew away.

The day I drove Joerg to the crossroads to flag the westbound bus, v/e stood together survey­ ing the desolation that was our garden.

"Well, it's over," I said.

"Ja," Joerg agreed, looking like a discouraged scarecrow.

"Too baa you couldn't have one nice-sized one to take with you, just for a keepsake."

"Thanks," he said.

"I've had enough for a lifetime." * You know what? I'll bet he has, too.

!

42

*

-William Rogers

Reaching the Loneliest Cabin It was the late 1700*s. America_was expanding westward at an unbelievable rate. Pioneer families with high hopes of a new and better life swept into the uninhabited areas of Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Missouri and southward along the Missis­ sippi River. Life for the frontier families was extremely hard and lonely. Behind the sounds of the axes breaking the frontier came the "hello" of the circuit rider ministers.

Historians often credit these men largely with bringing order to the chaotic frontier.

The concept of circuit riding was conceived and introduced in England by John Wesley in order to meet the religious needs of the shifting Eng­ lish population.

Francis Asbury, sent by Wesley to America as a missionary in 1771. was the founder of the circuit rider ministry in America.

The basis of the circuit ministry was for one minister to be responsible for covering large territories of the frontier providing for the religious needs of the frontier families in that territory.

It was not unusual for a single circuit rider to travel 5 0 0 miles to bring the gospel message to 15 - 25 different settlements. Life for these men was no less difficult than for the frontier families.

In fact, the sacrificial life of a circuit rider took its toll of nearly hall the riders before they could even reach the age oi 30. These messengers would preach to anyone who would listen at any time or place. Not uncommon at all was it to find these men preaching at barns, schools, courthouses, saloons, on river rafts, and in covered wagons.

These were dedicated individuals who willingly struck out across the pathless forests in order to bring the gospel message to the loneliest wilderness cabin.

The circuit rider ministry is a phenomenon of years gone by! Or so it has b e e n i n the past.

Today, there is a revival of this ministry within Christendom.

The Universal Fellowship of Metro­ politan Churches, founded by Reverend Troy Perry, started bringing the gospel message to a lonely and forgotten group of people in 1968.

This Christian denomination proclaims God's love and liberation for all. It is a church which min­ isters to black, brown, yellow and#white alike; a church which has a mingling of rich and poor, old and young, transvestites and transsexuals, gay people and heterosexuals.

It is one place in this current wilderness called civilization where all people are welcome to worship, witness, work and serve God together. uuided by its self-image of life and ministry, Metropolitan Community Church has spread internationally with

more than 1 5 0 congregations and 2 7 , 0 0 0 members.

First to organize were MCC congregations in the large metropolitan areas of this country.

In the past five to six years, MCC has moved out into the less populated cities, such as Albany, New , I, , hi Since coming to MCC - Littl- Rock last Febru­ ary, I have met many brothers and sist- r:t from all over Arkansas.

I have soon their- .longing expressions and felt the yearnings of their hearts to have a place closer to their homes than Little Rock or Fayetteville where they can be comfortable worshipping God. 1 believe now the time is ripe for MCC to expand to you, our brothers and sisters in the rural sections of this country. After all, America is still more rural than urban!

(Thank God. / You need a place to have your spiritual needs met as much as, any­ one in this country. You have the same needs in this area as any other person in this United Stat and everyone has th' right to worship in freedom.

The first road block in conceptualizing such an idea is usually the thought, "But there’s only 3 -- 5 — or 10 of us!" But didn’t Christ say, "... where two or three have . a ’.hered to­ gether in My name, there I am in their midst" (Matthew l8s20)'7 . Titus, a congregation is two or more people joining together to worship the Lord.

And this is the beauty of the circuit ministry!

Wherever there is a need, MCC can go by, revital­ ising this important ministry.

This has already begun in several small towns along the OrogonWashington border. All we are waiting for is you, our rural brothers and sisters, to say you have a small group who want to worship in free­ dom.

We can, once again, bring the gospel message to the "loneliest wilderness cabin."

- Reverend Cathy Elliott Worship Coordinator Metropolitan Community Church of Little Rock P.0. Box 1 9 6 4 Little Rock, AR 72203 501-664-37^9

The Politics of Crime

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by Ed Mead

$1.50 postpaid OrderIran RedUy ftstnouttrs ffesOWceBa* 1*1.MftOdbury.TN37190USA

McINTOSH— very attractive red, large, excellent quality.

Tree bears early, heavily, annually.

Susceptible to scale, requires thorough spraying.

JONATHAN— dark red, medium-sized, early, annually bearing.

Grows south of New York and New England.

GOLDEN DELICIOUS— yellow, medium-sized, good quality.

Tree bears early, bi­ ennially.

STAYMAN WINESAP— dull red, large, good quality.

Early and anually.

Grows south of New England.

WINESAP— dark red, medium-sized, good quality.

Tree medium late bearing and partially biennial(has good production years with "fair" production in between).

Grown south of New York, New England, and on West Coast.

SWEET DELICIOUS--different from "red delicious'1, which is a poorer apple.

Attractive dark red, large, sweet apple. Good keeping quality(storage).

Lears annually.

The varieties listed are all available in standards, most in semi-dwarfs, and several of them in dwarfs. Common good dwarf varieties are: Starkrimson Delicious, Starkspur Golden Delicious, Winesap, Wealthy, Jonathan and Yellow Delicious.

Any of the "spur" type dwarfs (as Starkspur above) are super-dwarfs, heavy bearing and useful for planting as an ornamental in the yard or patio.

Your apple tree can be bought in two ways: 1 ). bare-root, which is what you get when you order through the mail. Bare-root trees should be soaked for a couple of hours in water, then planted within a day or two of receiving them.

Prune the tops womewhat to compensate for the loss of roots.

2 ). balled and burlapped or pot­ ted , which means someone skilled in nursery work dug a root ball with the tree and roots intact, wrapped it tightly in burlap or put it into a container.

These are the best trees because they need less top pruning and get off to a better start because fewer roots sire damaged.

They also cost more because they are uaually older trees and can’t be shipped as readily.

When planting bare-root trees, work good soil into a hole dug a foot wider and deeper than needed, mix in peat moss if you can get it. Don’t fertilize for 2 or 3 weeks, then only lightly the first year with well-rotted manure or Milorganite.

Spread out the roots well, pack the soil firmly as you fill the hole, until the soil iine comes up to the bottom of the trunk graft. Don’t bury the tree too deep with the graft below the soil line, or unwanted sprouts will appear from the rootstock. You should have soil left over, with which you can make a continuous circle of soil around the tree the size of the hole you dug.

This makes a dam around the tree to hold the water that you give it ( 5 gallons twice a week until cold weather), and the soil will eventually settle back into the hole.

Balled and burlapped trees are left with their ball in place (can you blame them?). Don’t under any circumstances break up the dirt ball; it destroys the fiber root hairs and you might as well have bought the cheaper bare-root tree.

Dig the hole larger, mix in good soil, peat or old compost and pack the soil the same as above.

Graft needs to be with ground level, Build the circle dam, water thoroughly and water aigain to eliminate air pockets.

Pruning the first year is minimal, mainly to balance the top with the roots.

The second and following years are important in that you want sturdy main limbs, keeping the tree compact so that fruit won’t break off limbs, and keeping the tree open (instead of congested and shaded) in the center and top to allow sunlight in for good production. Keep all low limbs and root sprouts trimmed away. Always use pruning paint on wounds, pruning cuts on trunk or larger limbs to avoid disease, borers or rot. Wrap the tree

apples are one of ly productive of from Washington to y well as far south

> grow (25-30 ft

w to a height of d the most room apart) and pro-

■fs— these reach heights of t., need to be planted 2 0 feet apart and produce slightly quicker than standards.

Dwarfs— these grow 8-10 feet high, need to be planted 1 0 - 1 2 feet apart and produce often times in the second year after plant in. . Their advantages include conserving space, easy harvest and care and quick production.

They will produce well over 1 5 - 2 0 years, whereas standards will produce somewhat longer, od propedure for orchard planting for “landers" is to plant dwarfs for early * while the standards are gaining maturi ty— tl b is, y 0 u want fru it to sell or need ■\ f’ ]oi som VO lum e . So when space is 1 im itr-d, Ufse yrn land and mone y wise ly and pi ant dw; !s— tl1 ey produ ce plenty of fruit.

Ap]pit?s re(}ui cr O SS -po.lination to set goo d fru mor e vari eties to 1 so 3alant two insure piroj>er p<jll ina tion * Lis ts of recommended var ietie: iror yi)ur ar ea may be obtain ed from te Ag]ric:ultui Exper ime ntal Stati ons(Misri, f<JV examj both an Exper imental , h Sta t 1 on i MounlLai rove and Univers ity of . xt Mis souri bate I ens ion Of f'ice s in each county tha t Offi 5 huncIreds of bul leti ns on home garden irv , kore 3 elnd cannin£).

In addition to the S<;, ti u . s. epartm ent of Agricu lture pubXlshes a li f bull etins they distr ibute free; wr ite 0 1 : fic:e of Commu ati ons 1 U.S. Dept, of Agr iculttjrt., Wa;'hingt on, D. C . 2 0 2 0 All of the* ive .1 uable informati on avail* f or a few cent s postage. abl e for art ndreds of var ieties of apples, but jure per t for home food protiori. lis ted her e : Joiae < the 1 1 ow, bears annually, ippl iRAV; IN— st: red, medium-sized, l anually. Dessert

12

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lLTHY--bright red, medium-sized, tree irs ■arly and biennially, Ver;. hardy 44

trunk in late fall with paper type tree wrap (aluminum, foil works pretty well) to avoid rabbit damage and to discourage deer and groundhog nibbling.

Watch for mouse holes as they enjoy eating roots and can cause drying-out damage by exposing the roots to air.

For spraying (which is a necessity in some form), consult a reputable nursery, the agri­ cultural experiment station or your local health food bookstore.

There are some fairly successful organic bug controls, and they should be used if at all possible.

Some of the oil sprays for apple scab and scale insects are non-chemical types and do nothing more than suffocate the insect. However, pest and diseases vary from area to area and you should contact a reliable authority locally.

Fertilizing is important.

Nitrogen is the material most apt to be lacking in the apple orchard. Phosphorus and potash are usually available in sufficient quantity for apples in the average soil, and certainly won't be in short supply in a mulched orchard, the mulqhed or­ chard is not likely to need much supplementary nitrogen after the first 2 or 3 years— the rotting mulch supplies nutrients. A good companion plant is buckwheat, which "fixes" the nitrogen, making it more r e a a n y available for the trees.

Mow it or till it under(careful of the tree's roots, don't get too close) in late fall, or leave some for the birds. Beware though--don't let your orchard grow up in tall weeds, seed­ ling trees or vinesj you’ll never have a success­ ful orchard if you do.

The cleaner you keepit, the less likely you'll he to have insects, dis­ eases or varmints.

Back to fertilizer— chemically speaking, ammonium nitrate should be applied (after the first year) at the rate of 1 / b pound for each year of tree age, with mature (standard) trees receiving 5 lbs. or more applied in early spring as soon as the buds begin to swell. Work the nitrogen into the soil around the tree, not up against the trunk. Water it in or let the rain do it for you. Keep the tree wells around the tree through the second year, but watering should­ n't be necessary by that time except in very severe drought conditions.

With proper care and maintenance, an apple tree will fill your home with pies, jellies, ciders, sauces, butters and salads for many years and give you blossoms for bees, shade for pic­ nics and much satisfaction. jim long

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45

faerie travel in ark.

Faerie Camping Arkansas' latest tourism cliche is "Arkansas is a Natural," and there are indeed some natural places worth experiencing in the Land of Opportun­ ity o We'll take a gypsy journey starting near Memphis in eastern Arkansas, visiting a few spec­ ial places.

For maps and more information on facilities, write Department of Parks and Tourism, One Capitol Mall, Little Rock, AR 72201.

First stop is Village Creek State Park on Crowley's Ridge, an unusual geologic formation composed of loess (wind-blown soil) extending for miles in the Mississippi River Valley delta.

The park is 7,000 acres of basically untouched hard­ wood forest with excellent trails, cultural pro­ grams, and an amazing naturalist named Larry.

Hurry to visit this one: it's marked for extensive development.

The mosquitoes axe bad in summer.

Next stop is Petit Jean State Park north of Little Rock or. 1-^0 near Morrilton.

Pitch your tent in area D, and watch out for RV's on the roads. Hike the Seven Hollows Trail: rockhouses, arches, Indian pictographs, waterfalls.

The slideprogram in Visitor Center is good. Naturalist Greg has an open ear; fill it. Naturalist Jim has extensive knowledge of medicinal plants: open your ear. A faerie has inhabited this mountain for years and attests to its magick and power..

Visit Winrock Goat Dairy to see agribusiness at work.

For some rough backpacking into a rugged wil­ derness area of the southern Ozarks, go t o _Rich­ land Creek (near Pelsor, north of Russellville).

Located in the Ozark National Forest, the primi­ tive area features two waterfalls and a streambed of fossils and giant boulders.

Ready for some white water? Travel north to Buffalo National River, one of the last freeflowing streams in Arkansas (damn the Corps of Engineers!).

Crystal water flowing between tow­ ering bluffs and gentle sandbars, the river cuts through some of the prettiest Ozark land.

Canoes and shuttles are readily available, and there are sections of the river to match most degrees ol experience.

Join the Hillfairies for the second annual All Boy Float Trip this spring!

To top off your visit, travel east to Mountain View, a center of the traditional Ozarks culture.

Spend a day (or two) at the Ozark Folk Center and watch the local craftspeople at work and play.

Amazingly non-commercial!

Craftspersons are quite willing to answer all questions and discuss their crafts.

The music is good, too. So is the book­ store. Operated by State Parks.

While in the area, do not miss Blanchard Springs Caverns, a wonderful place to escape a hot summer day. Blanchard Springs is a liv­ ing cave: the formation processes are still at work.

Two trails are now open.

I suggest tak­ ing the Discovery Trail first, which teaches one how the cave was formed, explored, and ( n o t d e ­ veloped.

The Dripstone Trail is then a fitting climax, trekking through awesome cathedrals and grottoes of stone and water.

The U. S. Forest Service gets five gold stars for its sensitivity to such a fragile ecosystem. A good place to camp in the area is Gunner Pool, about eight miles from the Caverns in the Ozark National Forest.

Happy Trails!

Eureka Springs Eureka Springs is a small moutaii. serves as a social center for the , ■ay of northwest Arkansas.

It's where w< aper d an evening on the town: dinirv , dancing, !it-t e n in g ' and to music, meeting friends. Long a wri relaxed artists' colony, the town has dev‘ .oped ambience which nurtures gay people , too.

Touted as "the San Francisco o the Midwest," Eureka Springs does share certain characteristic rnphically, with that gay Mecca of the West, the town is located on an escarpment between two plateaus of the Ozark Mountains, resulting in steep hills and deep valleys; here, too, is_"Go climb a street" appropriate* advice. Th* dominant architecture is Victorian, reflecting the town's heyday as a resort in th© lat< ’• Bay city, Eureka has large gay arid counterculture populations, StTUggl ;r.s, artlBl ' and street musicians in city parks.

To match S. P. 's I Lftce for crazies, this town is affectionately known as "the largest out­ door insane asylum in the- U. S." Ironically, Eureka Springs is also the home* for the Smith Foundation religious projects, which attract numerous tourists, espeically older McWASPs. A seven-story concrete statue of Jesus looms over the city, and the Passion Play, an outdoor spectacle based on the last week of^ Christ’:: life, is enacted most evening.:; ( rt _ actually pretty good, even if a bit anti-Semitic) The life-size replica of the Holy Land is not yet finished.

The predominance of these projects points to underlying tension between conservative and lib­ eral forces in city politics. As one gay resid­ ent remarked, "They tolerate us as long a s _we don't rub their noses in it.” Another resident related that after a report estimated the gaypopulation tc. be 12$, buttons apj oared th* n- xt day proclaiming "88$." On other fronts, much energy was exerted this past summer by a citi­ zen's group to modify a costly water system pro­ ject geared to rapid expansion and development.

Good places to stay while visiting are Log Cabin Inn, owned and operated by gays, and New Orleans Hotel, containing the gay-oriented bar.

The Quarter.

The nearest campground is about 2.0 miles east at Withrow Springs State Park (small, but pretty).

Eureka Springs is a retreat, a space for (in)sanity, an oasis in an otherwise fairly hostile state. We locals call it simply, "Eureka," meaning, of course, "I've found it."

47

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June 21st Summer noon

77.5°

Altitude and Azimuth You should familiarize yourself with the "sun path" or the line the sun appears to follow from east to west as it moves across the sky during the day.

In winter on December 21st (winter solstice) the sun path is lowest in the sky.

In sum­ mer on June 21st (summer solstice) the sun path is highest above the horizon.

In addition to the altitude (height) change of the sun path from winter to summer, the location (azimuth) where the sun appears on the hor­ izon at sunrise and sunset changes, too.

In summer we get more sun in east and west windows.

In winter very little sun strikes the east and west of buildings.

Solar collectors for winter use must be mounted on south walls (or roof).

Sunrise

118°E

SELECTING A SITE FOR SOLAR SUITABILITY

Generalt The importance of selecting the proper site and location for solar retrofit equipment cannot be stressed too much. Building or buying solar hardware to install on a marginal or poor solar site is not only disappointing but a poor use of resources.

To insure the best operation of solar green­ houses, air heaters, water heaters, and other solar equipment, you must be sure that*.

1, the equipment is suited for the work to be performed (supplemental heat source, food production, auxiliary space, or water heating, etc. ) 2. the equipment is suited for the home and homeowner 3. design limitations are clearly understood 4, the user understands how to operate and maintain the equipment

De termining the Solar Window or Shade Pattern Solar angles (altitude and azimuth) define the solar window or shade pattern.

The solar win­ dow is the area of the sky through which the sun appears to travel. This is important since solar collectors must be in the sun to work. During the optimum solar radiation collection hours from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. the solar window must be free of shading by trees, buildings, porches, fences, etc.

The Energy Task Force of New York suggests a way of roughly determining the solar window. Stand where the collector is to be mounted and face true south. Point so that your finger and your eye are horizontal. Place one fist on top of another the exact number of times to be determined by consult­ ing the table. Sight over top of fist at true south and 3 0 ° east and west (with adjustments in fist height) to determine shading effects. Any objects above your fists will cast a shadow on the collec­ tor. Anything below your fists will be below the lowest path of the winter sun.

True South and Latitude ------ You" must first locate true south. The sim­ plest way is to use a good lensatic compass.

Identify the declination (difference between mag­ netic or "compass" south from true south) found on topographical maps or by asking a local surveyor.

To find true south you can also drive a stake in the ground and observe its shadow at solar noon (standard time halfway between sunrise and sunset).

Vertical wall solar collectors can be mounted up to 15 degrees east or west of true south and still work well although the hour the collector comes on and off well change accordingly. Notes when using a compass, be sure to hold it away from metal ob­ jects such as belt buckles, buildings, vehicles, etc, The next thing you need to know is your site's latitude (the lines running east-west on a map).

12 O'clock Position Latitudes 0° Bearing 28 °N 32°N 3 6 °n 40°N 44 °N 48 °N

4* 3:.

3 2|

fists fists fists fists z i fists 2 fists

r3r° (30° (27° (23° (20°

alt. ) alt. ) alt. ) alt. ) alt.) alt. )

11 O'clock Position (East), and 1 O'clock Position (West) - 3^° Bearing Angle 3 fists (3 0 ° alt.)

2|: fists (2 6 ° alt.)

Z \ fists (2 3 ° alt.)

2 fists (20° alt.)

1| fists (17° alt.)

1-| fists (14° alt.)

SELECTING A SITE FOR SOLAR SUITABILITY, cont

THE AXOLOTL

Examining the Site Now that you have located the position of the sun and shade path, the next step is to ex­ amine the site.

1. Is the installation to be permanent or temporary?

2. Is the building thoroughly weatherized?

Air infiltration must be minimized (caulk, weather­ strip and seal), and heat loss restricted (insulate) to get the most benefit from solar energy* The basic rule: Weatherize first; then solarize if suitable.

3. Since solar space heaters often have little or no storage (thermal mass), they only provide heat on sunny or partly sunny days. Therefore, the collectors should be mounted to bring heat into rooms used during the day such as the living room, kitchen, orwing room, workshop, etc. Heating an unoccupied room is a waste of energy. Occasionally, ducting must be installed from the collector to day rooms. Be sure to insulate ducts and make duct runs straight or with curved turns. Narrow ducting and sharp turns cut down air flow from the_collector.

If the hot air duct and register is slightly lar­ ger than the cool air opening, the system will run quiter, 4. Make a layout sketch of the building with dimensions to plan the best collector location and air circulation path. Large air flow loops work best. Taking cool air from one room and delivering heated air into another room (kitchen to living room, etc, ) works well.

5. Note the building exterior and building framing to determine what procedure to use to cut the duct openings and what mounting hardware to use.

6. Never mount a collector over a window or door being used. Windows deliver solar energy di­ rectly in the form of radiant heat. Exterior doors are necessary as emergency exits. ?. Trees, buildings, porches, dormers, fen­ ces, and other objects should not block the sun s energy from striking the absorber or collector.

Cedar or pine trees will block the sun year round.

If deciduous trees will block the sun in winter, determine if the branches are too dense and will create too much winter shade. Do not cut down yard shade trees as their summer cooling will out­ weigh the benefits of a solar collector in winter.

Many yard trees have dense branches (elms, for_ example). These branches can cut solar collection in winter up to 3 0 $ or more in many cases.

One reason we waded so m any years w ith starting our own publication, T h e m is, is because there already was W om anspirit W om anspirit served the Goddess con­ sciousness w ith a process of thought that started from questioning and arrived at the realization of the Goddess. Its length allow s for some depth, poetry is at home on her pages, art also featured makes the com m on sense blend w ith beauty. Su p ­ port and subscribe to them W om anspirit, P.O . Box 263 W olf Creek, Oregon 97 497. $8 dollars per year. W ell w orth it!

THANK GODDESS FOR WOMANSPIRIT!

T

1

SUPPORT THEMIS

SUBSCRIBE NOW! $ 5 /y r. Outside U .S . S7/year.

Make checks payable to The Susan B. A n th o n y Coven No. 1 (U .S . currency) First class postage mailed in an envelope, add S 1 45, Name

Address

please pf»nt _

.0.Box 62121; L

State ________________ Z ip

A., Ca. 90062

A

gay totem animal The first glimmer of "not-roan” consciousness came to me in the eithth grade (when I really needed it) in the awareness of axolotls* Wnat???

Yes, axolotls--F first 1 earned about these weird salamanders in the pages of MAD MAGAZINE in the mid-6o's, Even then, 1 knew that t)iey had a cer­ tain mystical significance for me and all human­ kind.

The axolotl, whose Aztec-derived name means "play in the water", is a prime example of a bio­ logical concept called Neoteny— eternal adoles­ cence.

They are the larval stage of the Tiger Salamander (Amblystoma tlgrinum) which, due to environmental factors, fails' to metamorphose into an adult. Despite this "arrested devel­ opment", (sound familiar?), the axolotls breed and reproduce.

'Ibis would be comparable (sort of) to caterpillars mating and having baby caterpillarsll Until 1865, western science thought they were a separate ap<cies of salamander. One day the curator at the Jardin des Plantes in Paris discovered that his axolotls had turned into tiger salamandersl So, you may ask what does all this have to do with me, and why are you reading it in RED? Well, last issue (#26), Fairie brother, Don Kilhefner explained the "neotenous nature" of gay people. Here was the key I'd looked after for years— self-validation as an axolotlidentified sissy!!

"I wandered lonely as a clod, just picking up old rags and bottles.

When, onward on my way I plod, I spied a host of axolotls."

WAD MAGAZINE. 1966 This all is another example of the lessons about ourselves which the natural world has to teach us. We all have our familiars and totem animals— pets or wild creatures with whom we have affinities.

The axolotl is also the mascot of the All-Beings Party, a splinter group to the Peoble's Party founded in 1975. Our slogan is "A Cynandrous Culture in a Classless Society".

To join, send boxtopc or old Jay Liberation buttons to P0 Box lhl, Woodbury, IN 37190.

Celebrate Neoteny!!

Milo

r H essA oe fr o n v o u -f ^ y-A n n ^

1 •ve got a story to tell youNow many oi you have heard mo say that more than once. Here I am sittln? on the porch of the main house at Short Mountain. Hot Damn.

It was a beautiful rush to see Running Water Farm on the cover oi issue # 2 k of RFD. When I left Denver, 1 visited with fairies in Edmonton, Alberta.

1 had put a sign on the outhouse wall that this fairy would go wherever fairies wanted my company. My first trip to Canada.

From the Canadian Rookieo to Vancouver, 1 bring gret tings from our f a i n e spir­ its, to Seattle on to Sacramento 1 traveled.

J remembered that there was to be a gathering some­ where in the South.

1 even knew the date, yet I could not find out where.

When I found out it was to b> at Running Water, I called the local library to find out the four closest towns- Even then neither bus company could tell me where I _ wanted to go. My intuition told me to buy my ticAshville, North Carolina.

I sent the fol­ lowing message to Running Water; 'ON MY WAY TO FATRIE GATHERING NEXT WEEKEND LEAVING SACRAMENTO SUNDAY ARRIVING ASHE­ VILLE VIA TRAILWa YS 9AM WEDNESDAY. HITCH­ HIKING FAIR1E SPIRIT FAIR1E LOVE BELLS RINGING HOT DAMN LOVE AND KISSES, YOUR GYPSY SHAMAN Well honey, they got my telegram, for Mikel Wil­ son and Wing, the artist from Hotlanta, met me at the bus. By the next day, after spending a nite in Asheville, I was on my way in a van driven

by Ernie (Tampa) along with Peter (Running Water), Gerry {Tallahassee), Israel and Carl (Brooklyn Heights) and myself headed for the home of RFD. It was a weekend of delights. Rocky sure knows how to cook a mean Nut Loaf and other line foods enjoyed by all.

It was fun to pick apples off the trees and then press nearly 8 gallons ol fresh cider.

Belle gave me a ride to Manchester, Ga. and Honey, 1 didn't know where 1 was except with good company and the Goddess does provide.

1 spent the next three weeks in Gainesville, Florida, with the black family that used to work f o r m y family when I was growing up to be a good little fairie.

The green rocking chairs on the 80 _ year old house were the same ones I played in % 0 years ago.

Hot Damnl At Running Water 1 heard of the gathering to be held at Short Mountain, Tennessee. Again I had to go to the library to look at a map and figure how I was .going and just what part of the state I would be in.

I had John Harris’s phone number in my pocket so I called him and sent the following message to Short Mountains FAIRIES EVERYWHERE WITH RAINBOWS AND FLOWERS, SUNRISE-SUNSET HERE I COME, LOVE AND KISSES. YOUR GYPSY SHAMAN l have been here a week and I now know why I have .rained over 20 lbs. Everywhere I have traveled, the fairies bring out their homemade picklelily« preserves, wine, strawberry delite, relishes,'applesauce, blackeyed peas, pickled ckra -tui many other fine ccncocktions.

Crazy Owl and his magic fingers paraded over my body with much grace.

It was fun help­ ing the kitchen fairies make banana bread, stewed pears, pumpkin pie, baked beans along witr. the evening meal.

Fresh paw-paw and persimmons were in order the other day.

I'll be leaving here for the gathering in Bolinas, Ca., on Halloween weekend and shall be in the northern part of California till Spring.

Let me know what's going on and as 1 travel we shall see each other sooner than you think.

There is always return. As I travel it has been a pleasure to read Visionary Love

by Mitch Walker and friends.

I highly rec­ ommend this book.

It may be ordered for $9-.95 plus 750 postage from Treeroots Press, 835 Folger St., Berkeley, Ca. 9^710.(Ca. residents pay 6 % sales tax). We are growing and RFD needs your support.

See you soon.

Love and Kisses, Crit Goin

Qataxi© Bait/

300 College ^Springfield Missouri

(ai7) 862-89-58 11:00 A.M. to 1:3° A.M,

Home of Miss Gay Springfield 52

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TAM PS APO THECARY 33 Van Eureka

B ur e n S p r i n g s , AR

(501J 2 5 3 - 9 1 7 5

53

72632

OZARK1A1-A new publication by Eco-Center, a non­ profit organization incorporated in Ark­ ansas and founded in order to provide en­ vironmental. information and education. $3*50/year'o Write Eco-Center, 730 West Maple, Fayetteville, Ark. 72701

mmissouri .the . ozarks

SWALLOWS-An excellent quarterly newspaper pubTTshed by New Destiny Federation, a co­ operative food network serving a seven state area. Available at local co-op or send $3.00 to NDSC, East Wind, Tecumseh, Mo. 65760

DO U G LAS & OZARK C O U N TIES

DOGWOOD ALLIANCE-Anti-Nuke group in Arkansas, meet Inf,: weekly. Dogwood Alliance, 5904 W. Markham, Littl> Rock, Ar. 72205 (501) 664-883*+.

OZARKS NATIONAL SEED ORDER, Drury, Mo. Write for catalog.

1 0 acre secluded homestead at end of gra­ vel road, 7 acres open, rest timbered, lovely views, includes good well and cabin 14x20. $ 1 2 , 0 0 0 with owner financing!

65638

ARKANSAS GAY RIGHTS, INC.-PO Box 3-115, Little Rock, Ar. 72203. Meeting twice monthly.

Membership fee of $5.00 includes monthly newsletter,

Beautiful 15 acres, park-like hilltop,with good soil, walnut trees, breath-taking view, gay neighbors. $15,000.

80 acres with funky cabin, well and elec.

Mostly wooded, secluded, scenic. $34,000.

UN 1TED CHURCH OF LIVING HOPE, 1012 Rodney Par­ ham R d . , Little Rock, Ar. 72205

80 acre farm with small liveable home, mostly wooded, $33,500. Owner will fi­ nance with 29% down at 1 0 $ for 1 0 years!

GAY COUNSELING SERVICE, Psychotherapy Center for Human Growth and Development. Little Rock, Ar, (501) 663-6455.

10 acres, park-like, 1 mi. from Lake Bull Shoals, has 12x60 mobile home with 12x20 built-on room, 1 2 x 6 0 pump house/workshop with toilet, 2 sheds 1 0 x 1 0 , property has peach trees, pears, apples, plums. Also, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, gooseberries. 8 mi. to village. $ 3 3 ,5 0 0 .

CRISIS CENTER OF LITTLE ROCK, 5904 W. Markham, Little Rock, Ar. 722^5 (501) 664-8834 NORTHWEST ARKANSAS GAY RIGHTS. 710 S. Third, Rogers, Arkansas 72756 METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH OF THE OZARKS, PO Sox 9 ., Fayetteville, Ar. 72701 OFENING A CO-OP CENTER IN A NEW' AREA, a 6 -page guide for consumer goods co-operatives.

Send $.75 to Ozark Co-operative Warehouse, PO Box 30. Fayetteville, Ar. 72701 EAST WIND COMMUNITY, Tecumseh, MO 6 5 7 6 O} 417-6794682. Non-S"xist hetero/gay wants more gays.

MCC LITTLE ROCK, 1818 Reservoir Rd., Little Rock, Ar, 72233, Phone (501) 224-9500.

MCC J O F U N , 207 W. 4th St., Rm. 224, Joplin Mo. 5pEone! 781-7895.

Mo.

MCC SPRINGFIELD FAMILY. F 0 Box 4661, Springfield, Mo, 6 ^8 O'-. Meetings are being held at the She rater. Irn on S. Glens ton*; at 1:30 p.m. each Sunday.

BARS LISTED IN JOPLIN: Billy’s 420 Joplin St.

Pprfect for commune or group purchase — 440 acres mostly timber, located next to Trappist Abbey, creek runs through, close to popular recreation area, stunning views. $300/acrel Assumable loan $75,000 at 8 $, annual payment $1 2 ,0 0 0 .

Many small tracts, 5-10 acres, generally wooded for $400-$l000/acre. Also land on area’s biggest stream, available in small tracts at $ 1 2 5 0 /acre.

For more information on these and many other Ozark properties call or write

MCC OF GREATER KANSAS CITY, 4000 Harrison St., K .C ., Mo. 64111J phone 921-5754.

MCC ST. LOUIS, 5108 Waterman Blvd., St. Louis, Phones 3 6 1 - 7 2 8 4 .

122 acres with 2 A-frame cabins, gorgeous spring and branch beside one house, on Tarbutton Creek, partly open, nice woods, abounds with wildlife, very secluded but accessable, gay neighbors. $75,000. Owner financing. Great for collective!

STEVE BENNETT REAL ESTATE BROKER P.0. Box 1 0 3 6 Ava, Missouri 65608

-

or call anytime

4 1 7

6 8 2 - 5 3 1 5

6 2 3 -9 2 6 0

Johnny*3 Pla-Mor 418 Joplin St. 623-9335 The Gallery I (Disco) 722 Main St. 623-9313

AN ACRE is 100 spreads of both arms long and 1 0 spreads of both arms wide.

O Z A R K C R E D IT S * production staff

Especial thanks

cathy eliiott (little r>ck, ark.) liest Cabin. crit goin (occidental, calif.)

Gypsy Shaman. dovle hall (beaver, ark.)

Reaching the Lone­

A M e s s a f r o m v our

Books as Seeds Bookstore, 200 1/2 Andrew Jackson Way, Huntsville, Ala. 35801

Ozark Faerie Land nap.

LITTLE ROCK BARS: Discovery Disco, Riverfront Dr. Silver Dollar, 2710 Asher Chaps, University Avenue

edward norwan (intranr tion, ark. 1 fo ri* i-. 1 for G ays.

■

v sta 1 -p r *a

eureka springs, ark.'

MORE RESOURCES & SERVICES

Aphrodisiacs.

HOT SPRINGS BARS: " n 1on.-p*11 iblue eye, no.) Fairie Sanctuary, The Xorm ;or After: '• ■ ur . p p? it lintf, '■ • Graphics: Ozarks experience collate, front and back covers, pJv.-los fur View from the :>rner, Po> try, Czark Cr^d its. ;,ohn paul* little rock, ark.) Gunner -ye, X o v :n? Toward the Fothor.

'«** «* hluf’

'tat -

lafe plumb*** (ava, Missouri) Photos: Collective ment, Apples, Buffalo River Float Trip. mel riley (charleston, mo.)

Haiku.

FORT SMITH BARS:

Our House, 336 Central Norma Kristie's, 220 Central Club 35, 634 Division Vi 111age Landing* E. f>th St.

Green Revolution - a magazine free (for don.it ><»„•,) The School of Living's voice for »('port inn on the activities of a worldwide movement of the same name, which works for decentralized gov't, industry, population. It promoter, community, land crusts, balanced living, healthy foods, appropriate technology, homesteading. A«k for Green Revolution, The School of Living, Deep Run-Farm, Rd 7, box 188A, York, Pa. 17402

mi c h a d crane*(blue eye, mo.) Kyku1s vaou.

Irauhtcs: Moving Toward the Mother, Anhrod i• 5acr, (lower', F-ykuls Manu, A '-lessa/re from Your Gy m y 'haman, Coloring iape.

»m" - gentle men for Sgndg! iusUqs, hi .<5 :t , '•u:i .i" • ;

milo ftuthrie (gassaway, tenn.)

Radical Fairy Sanctuary - 5343 La Cresta Ct., Los Angeles, Ca. 90038. A resource 4, info, center for gay men exploring gay consciousness and spirituality, organizing fairy circles.

The Axolotl.

rand lee* (tecumseh, mo.) View from the Corner, Herb Garden Primer. Graphics: Arhr'xlls'acs (ur>o*r) Herb Garden Prim«r, Reaching the '..one! lent, labtn.

Steve ben net-1* 0 (ava, mo.) stove vanhook

The Prom'sed Land,

rovers, •irk. ' Here Come::, the

wm beck (morrilt.on, ark.)

Land Trusts - for info on gay community land trusts Pat Gourley, Box 18583, Denver,Co. 80218

'oc. nhit.o.

»un.

Liberty to the Captives - Jeff Blum, editor, Southern Prison Ministry, box 120044, Nashville, Tu. 37212. A reader's journal for prisoners.

Poetry.

william rogers (magnolia, ark.; with one Yuk or Two? with help from bob,

"»"* 1(H :;-

Do you ..'el! L u c :

The Ozarks Mountaineer - a great bi-monthly man. of the Ozarks, it’s customs & people. 55.25^ from The Ozarks Mountaineer, Star Rt. 3, Box 152, Branson, Mo. 65616.

hn, monotte, lihby, hovt & stream.

Faerie Directory - Box 472, Fairfax, ca.

94910.

Access to Justice - free paper from Ozark Legal Services, 26 E. Center, Fayetteville, Ark. 72701. Deals with citizens rights in general.

~A J 'd c r u ls t

J S Io t ~J\Ja

b ym i o

Thu ultimate meaning of the rapidly expanding faerie consciousness is in the process of re­ vealing itself to those searchers who choose to meditate on such matters.

Our multi-faceted and protean collective being has many ways of defin­ ing itself. Each one of us brings a special piece of the whole. All our uniquenesses fit together into an organic unity - the planetary web of faerie consciousness.

Faeryism is a particular blend of sexuality, spirit, and politics.

This reflects three points of reference; categories of experience we have all repeatedly touched on during the past several years of upheaval and rapidly changing values. t>*? are entering a period of even greater social dislocation and freakout for the matriarchy and those who cling to its values and priorities.

This is being written on election eve, 19H0; 'nu f f said.

Anyway, Faeries bring to the human species a unique vision which we are just beginning to real-ire and define. Our great purpose as a people will continue to unfold.

What I am try­ ing to articulate is how we relate in the immed­ iate time to other social forces with which we have some actual or potential affinities.

In a time which may present increased repression and danger, the question of allies is very important.

Faeries represent the most advanced elements of Gay (male) Liberation. Let's examine this pre­ mise.

(This article, of course, does not attempt to examine the various forces in the Lesbian movement - perhaps the amazons and witches are defining their path as our counterparts.) The original visions of Gay (male) Liberation (as I saw them) included: a. Coming out, being flagrant, repudiation of assimilatlonism; b. A c kowledging and valuing differences among queers; opening to all human possibilities; c. Alliance with feminism and other anti-sexist forces; d.

Opposing racism, making alliance with peoples of color; e. Creating alternatives to the nuclear family - collective and communal arrangements, possibly on land; f. Developing alternatives to patriarchal religion, celebrating paganism in all its forms (this could also connect to coun­ try life). This listing sort of spills over into my personal vision-fantasy of a Faerie land base - more on this later.

It is becoming increasingly evident that many segments of the gay male population, even the more "politically active" elements have abandon­ ed these principles - if, in fact, they ever held them at all. wimmin have learned, time and again, that gay men are not reliable allies in the battles against sexism.

Sally Gearhart ex­ pressed her weary disappointment in a letter written during the 1973 Supervisorial campaign in San Francisco; "...many of us thought we all

S6

understood that it is women's second-class staths that homosexual oppression is built upon...with that understanding... thousands of lesbians over the years have worked with gay men...some bonds of love and respect have emerged in the course of those ba 1 1 les...(however ) gay liberation... increasingly mean(s) to me that my gay brothers are simply going to become like straight men, pulling in a bigger piece of the patriarchal pie...I once thought that gay men would never be respected until women were full citizens.

I now realize that is probably not true...gay men continue to oppress people of color and other non-dominant groups instead of joining in the struggle to overturn our fundamentally racist and phyicalist system.”

The same trends which Gearhart denouces as op­ pressive to wimmin also threaten to put us back in the closet if we don't "fit in" - if we be­ have as faeries, are flagrant, or threaten the assimilationist trend.

We’ve probably all dealt with bar hassles, and the recent wrangle over control of the 'X3ay Freedom Day" Committee in S.F. dealt with the same kinds of issues. Bas­ ically, it seemed to be a conflict of mustacheoed short-haired (gay) men versus dykes, physica­ lly challenged gays, and faeries.

"Gay Power" versus* "Gay Freedom" perhaps. If Gay Power means power over people of color, wimmin, and other non-dominant groups, we want no part of it.

All this is very "political." What does that mean? To some, it means power - to me, it al­ ways meant PEOPLE. In arguments with white male leftists in the early '70's, this was always the basis for my assertions that sexuality was a "political" issue - that people couldn't unite for social change until such matters were all out in the open, and fears and hangups about sex were dispersed.

O.K., it is apparent that the original vision of Gay Liberation has been left by the wayside in a quest for gay power and acceptance by the system.

How do we as faeries re-define our visions in a form which can lay a basis for unity and a re­ ference for other advanced elements in the Gay and Feminist left??

Here are some thoughts on various principles and areas of work which could be the basis for Faery­ ism as an operative political framework. Note: These points are placed in an "order" not as a priority list, but as a possible progression.

Try arranging them in other sequences and see how they feel. Numero Uno - basic to all our beingness - upfront QUEERDOM, SI3SYHOOD, & FAGGOTRY! We must repudiate (or ignore) the call to assimilate into ramrod-reality and taste the rotten patriarchal pie. we will not be "normal", we are Faeries!

"Fairies must begin to throw off

the filthy green frogskin of hetero-imitation... and discover the lovely Gay-Consciousness notMAN ...shining underneath." -Harry (Henry) Hay, 1979.

Aside from its oppression of wimroin and other non-dominant peoples, the mainline frogskin-iden­ tified (gay) male movement must be exposed for its repression and vision-limitation of our mis­ sion for the species. The quicker we bypass or dispose of the sellout element, the sooner we faeries can move on to the deeper tasks of Planetary Enspiritment2 "Anything you do that the men don't like is OK by us." -women's song to the faggots, Faggots and their Friends Between Revolutions.

Flowing directly from our outrageous self-asser­ tion as Radical Faeries is our total opposition to sexism in all its forms.

(Just what i_s sex­ ism, anyway? Let me know when you get a good definition.) This means, as men, that we re­ pudiate male privilige in all pissible ways; that we share our material and spiritual re­ sources with wimmin and their movements; that we offer concrete support to wimroin; we check out wimminculture and its outlooks for enrich­ ment of our own rage and visions.

Sally Gear­ hart, in the letter quoted above, cabled upon gay men to "identify as feminists and begin to behave in a woman-identified fashion (in order to) come to more humanity for themselves and for the world by identifying with the values of their lesbian feminist sisters." The time has come for faeries and lesbians to begin to talk, walk, and breathe together (con-spire) for the further development of each other's visions and dreams.

Here is a sticky, difficult topic - RACISM. How to oppose our own racism as well as tht homopho­ bia among non-dominant racial and national groups We've got to do both. A good starting place is material support for lesbians and gay men of c o ­ lor and their organizations so they can oppose homophobia in their own communities.

Those of us who are white can also investigate the var­ ious national movements and their demands - con­ cretely supporting these movements, preferably thereby gaining recognition of our own demands and movements. This is not an easy task - the faggots in NYC were kicked out of Free Angela demos in 1970; Dykes currently are harassed in Black Nation demos in Georgia.

See "ATALANTA" October and November 1980 issues (newsletter of Atlanta Lesbian Feminist Association-ALFA) for a discussion of this phenomenon. >ye did however proudly display a "QUEERS AGAINST RACISM" banner in the February 2nd 1980 anti-klan demo in Greens boro, NC. Anti-Klan work should be an area where we can (and must, for our own survival) build alliances with people of color.

T recall, when I first began coming out, that I realized that gayness cut across lines of race and class and was thereby a powerful tool for unity among people of different races.

At the prestnt time, the various movements ap­ pear to be sharpening their demands for LAND Puerto Rico; Native lands stolen by unfair trea­ ty or outright theft; Chicana/Mexicana territory taken by war in 1848; and the black people's homeland of New Afrika, never freed from th* grip of the slaveholding oligarchy, just trans­ ferred to management of the Northern capitalists.

Besides these national groups within U.$.A. boundaries, many other na tions are held under­ foot by oppressive states. Euzkadi, the Basque country, is controlled by Spain and France; wales Scotland, Cornwall and part of Ireland by Eng­ land; Brittany, Occitania, and Corsica by France.

These areas, all (except Corsica) located on tht? western edge of Europe, are the "Celtic Rim,”

We need to see feminism and wimmin's viewpoints as fundamen­ tal to human speciesurviva 1 .

Marilyn French, author of The Womens Room, states in a recent interview (M. Magazine) that misogyny (woman-hating) "is the very core of Western Civilization ...misogyny involves looking at others as things one can use, at women and nature in particular, and despising the values that are associated with women and nature." She thinks that femin­ ism "is essential for the salvation of the hu­ man race." We roust continue to advance womanidentified ideas and behaviour among receptive men, and share the joy of subject-subject re­ lationships with our sisters.

One fantastic event just came to my attention.

At the Fourth Annual Pan-Pagan Festival this summer, Z. Buda­ pest, the Feminist Witch, uti­ lized men from the fairy cir­ cle as guardians and protec­ tors of the wimmin's circle.

Good thing , too - the wimmin were attacked by a born-again Baptist and a hung-up "pagan" guy. Z.B. felt that this was "a historical event," and so do I. All Hail the Unity be­ tween Witches and Faeries'.'.'.

57

representing the last strongholds of Europe's native peoples pushed oceanward by the Roman in­ vasions (see map). This is perhaps a simplistic analysis, but these peoples are engaging in strua gles for nationhood - and they live in lands which have a rich lore of faerie-reality and tradition.

See witchCraft and the Gay CounterCulture for more information on the Celtic neoples. During the patriarchal invasions, these Goddess-worshipping peoples took refuge in the coastal areas as a last resort. Today, they embody lively movements against centralized authority and environmental destruction. These peoples deserve our attention and possible suppor t .

As we find each other and strengthen our love, we will increasingly need space to exercise our emotional, physical, and psychic beings. we s° neec* access to land! This can provide the place to try out our dreams as realities - to directly contact nature spirits - to develop means of self-reliance for food and energy pro­ duction - sacred tree groves for ceremonies and secluded gardens where we can fertilize the flowers with our jism and hilltops where we can howl at the moon!! Our long-term survival as a species and as a faerie-people requires that we manifest creative alternatives to straightman economic/socia 1 /religious false-self systems.

This will come through months and years of col­ lective and communal faerie-life.

Our culture will evolve spontaneously as we make music, build dwellings, grow new crops, do ceremonies, and make love. Our complete success will not be immediate, but we begin NOW! "I see a woman coming. she holds a feather in one hand, a double-bladed labrys in the other. The T'ai-chi medicine wheel is on fire. Great whales are dancing, lit orange and red.

I see a pyramid pointing down.

Now is the time to choose.

We each and all must choose." -Mitch Walker, Visionary Love ---1979

"A thousand perfect men and women appear, around each gathers a cluster of friends, and gay children and youths, with offer­ ings." - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass 1860

A Celtic Amazon Ihi Earth, Gaia, is our mother - we are her faerie children. We hear her cries, we feel her pain.

"Many Fairies are agents of planet Earth. Their Faerie-being gives them telepathic union with nature’s heart, such that they flow with her completely, loving her as they do themselves.

Thereby these fairies become living repositories of all nature, they become planet Earth itself."

- Mitch Walker, Vis ionar y Love.

We must create sanctuaries for ourselves, for the elves and gnomes, for the trees and flowers, birds, salamanders, frogs and little furry critteis. if the planet dies, we will bear witness and sing the death song.

If a species is extin­ guished, we will avenge it by our love. We must develop and perform ceremonies to strengthen Gaia and confound her enemies - put a hex on TVA: the nuke plants must be neutralized by our violet rays, all deadly radiation held in by Faerie 1-or ce*-Fie*lds . Whe>rever possible, form fae>rii affinity groups and exercise direct ac­ tion in concert with other concerned humans.

STOP NUCLEAR WEAPONS, NUCLEAR POWER, NUCLEAR (•AMILIES. Emulate the Spiderworts, a dyke af­ finity group arrested in the1 occupation of North Anna Nuke Plant in Virginia.

58

'•tell, it is now the day after the election - we are faced with an even more harsh and brutal group of men in power. "It is categories in the mind and guns in their hands which keep us en­ slaved" - woman wisdom from Faggots & Their fxiends. Obviously, now we need a frame of re­ ference which provides us with a loving raagikal vision and a way to implement it while allowing us to become invisible when needed. That, in a nutshell, is how I view Faeryism and its meanina for our survival and growth as a people - we WILL survive, and have a damn good time of it too!

FAERIE SPIRIT, FAERIE LOVE to all beings.

ikliSelhe Goddess and Jbsslhe Ammunition

Werainq the fbifticai and the Spiritual °

bcf Clover Chango

"We are special to the Sioux'.

They gave us respect for strange powers Of looking into the sun, the night...

To the Cheyenne we were no curiosity! we were friends or wives or brave warriors Who hunted for our cooking pots...

And the Crow who valued our worth and did not spit Names at our lifted skirts nor kicked our nakedness.

We had power with the people!"

-Maurice Kenny, "Winkte", On 1y As Far As Brooklyn, Good Gay Poets The Spiritual Gathering For Radical Fairies was convened August 11-15, 1980 in the Colorado mountains. Beginning on a new moon, we experi­ enced three solid days of rituals, circles and workshops which explored the realms ot fairv consciousness, sexuality, politics and survival.

There were four major circles in which most of the 250 fairies attending took part. Gaymales/ fairies came from across the continent to attend this second national gathering. There were five gaymen/fairies of color and the percentaoe of lower and working class fairies was not clear .

The fee was $90 which covered meals and necessi­ ties and no one was denied participation due t > pover ty.

This gathering was an affirmation of my spiritu­ al life, one which is connected to those lives of other faggots, one which is a daily haunting, confusing material reality and one which is not dependent upon, and is totally subversive toward patriarchal religious thought.

I left with a clear feeling of what it meant to be in tegr a ted spiritually and politically; I received support and trust from gaymen in ways I had never ex­ perienced. The merge of the political and the spiritual is an integration of mind and spirit, soul and body, is not feelinglessly ascetic nor feelinglessly analytical/in tellectual. As a political activist, it means Pushing ny percep­ tions and work beyond male leftist narrow ideol­ ogy devoid of political analysis and conviction, it means pushing for dealing with material is­ sues: economics, work, capitalism, earth, en­ vironment, and those physical: sex, health, aging, reproductive control, mobility.

Among the faires,there was a strong s e n s e collective Support, willingness to work cooperatively and respect

differences,

Among the fairies, there was a strono sense of collective support, willingness to work coopera­ tively and respect difference.

For years, I have silently, and with much confusion, been seeing this vision.

I have been wanting to de­ velop these traits in myself, after years of masculine de-emotionalization, therefore nurtur­ ing the vision into a tangible reality and means by which I can relate with other gaymen in new ways. At this gathering, I found my dream be­ coming realized bv many.

^Spiritual

of

forces

dwell in all

us in vast quantity, ”

For years I h.*ve , in virtual privacy, explored my dedication to a spiritual path, calling upon the forces of faith, love, will, maoic/witch craft, creative energy.

Spiritual forces dwell in all of us in vast quantity. There are forces in the environment and nature as well which we can summon and with which we can ri late. B e ­ lieving in, evoking and invoking th«se powers has been harmonious with being committed to change, struggle and giving life.

Under patriarchy, forces which sustain, nurtur* and create life are the ultimate threat. The common psyche of the patriarchy is bent on con­ trolling people by destroying every dr >p of life within them and their bonds with others through violence, terror, poverty, < tc. ’■'hat I have learned from feminists and matriar­ chal thinkers is that being in a personal, lifegiving process is one of the most important things I can do. For this reason, allying with autonomous womyn’s culture has be* n a focus for gaymen identified as faggots and fairies.

At the gathering there was a lot oi reverent:* to the goddess. Among the fairies, th*r< was a respect for womyn and th« ir culture such as I have never seen before. Evoking goddesses is part of reclaiming lost knowledge of matrifocal societies in which homostxua 1 itv was honortd, in which queers had special roles in community and ceremony, and where gaymale sexuality was harmonious with a f*o.-l* sense of order anti not hostile toward it. lr demandirg resoect for femaleness and its >lac* in spiritual evolution, lit us k'eep our •>< rso* r ’.ivi and remember to not further th* pati; rciv’s oedesta 1 izati >n of wo­ rnvr, aid mystificat: r of th* r powers.

H ig h e r C h a kra s

expelled from people's hearts as many of us felt the transition from the alienation of op­ pression to group trust and support.

I was finally able to relax from the struggle of sur­ vival.

From then on, I continued to open up in ways that I hadn't for years.

I further saw the pain and fear of my oppression.

I became more aware oi the possibilities of a qay/fairy/sissy

iD w d , Head,Throat Realizing

"It's not easy being a fairy if you'rt Black... but I'm still a fairy." Tim, Denver Fairy plan­ ning group.

From a rtctnt push by N.Y. and Boston radical feminists to raise consciousness and political issues on difference, particularly racial, I've been responding even more critically to the gay majority's refusal to integrate itself. How long will homosexuals who absorb mainstream values continue to ignori difference in lang­ uage, expression, manner, thinkinq, economic deprivation, employment status, and political priorities of gaymen of color and of lower classes?

I am very worried about the lack of accessibility of the radical gav and fairy net­ works to gaymen of little oriveleae.

further s a w the pain and fear o f my oppression. I become more aware of the possibilities of a gay/fairy/

I

sissy collective conscious­ ness and what the path o f a healer is.”

Many fairies came to the gathering with the same reservations.

There was silence about privilege.

A difficult dichotomy arose, placing the spiri­ tual against the political as being "the way/ path".

Some fairies, myself included, wese trashed for bringing up issues on class and and race, by more stoic spiritualists who nam­ ed these as "an invasion of hetero-male politics" and "working class hetero-male imitative jargon".

At first, I was intimidated, thinking I had been arrogant and divisive. Then I became offended, realizing that as a fag raised by a waitress sutiering with six kids, of whom none of us have advanced economically, that my thinking was hardly male left left-overs, but rather a feminist fag politic which has given roe much strength and clarity for being who I am.

“An equalized sense of community work V»ad not even been taken seriously/

collective consciousness and of what the oath of a healer is.

I began to feel a need for a new language with which to speak ideas, a dif­ ferent attitude in myself and wanting to create the unique fairy consciousness.

The circle ex­ posed that all of us, whether more formalized in political or spiritual language, had brought with him a specific Weltanschauung, set of be­ liefs, from the patriarchal world. Our common­ ness was that we each wanted to sustain life, to prevent heteromale destruction of the earth.

Our strategies about how to channel our energy into doing that work were where the differences lay.

Middle Chakras Heart Lungs, Getty

Plowing Together

The "politicos" soon discovered that fairies who could not afford the $d 1 reoistration worked in the food area while those who Daid did no labor.

An equalized sense of community work had not even been taken seriously.

There were males present who were doctors, lawyers, right wing political supporters and owners of property, including a Mercedes Benz parked close to the food area. A circle on Politics, Spirituality and Privilege was called on the second evenino, attended by about fifty. '«*? planned a major circle’ for the following morning.

"Are we creating a new way to do politics? A new way of seeing the world around us? The 'gay movement'is quickly coming to a very hollow sound for many men who are bored if not depress­ ed by the narrow terms of our ’liberation’ more dark bars, more consumotion of useless goods - more alienation, all resulting in the loss of any culture rooted in a nurturant, life force.

It may be in the country that pockets of life-energy will survive the last stages of patriarcy, the eminent destruction of the cities, if not the world - an urgency is upon us:, a need to name the process we all are a part of - saying NO to this death-fire:" - Dimid, UtSIS, Louisiana Sissies In Struggle

That large circle, attended by almost all, saw a complicated dialogue of the issues.

It was a catharsis for many who had beforehand bee'ti afraid of their own voices. A lot of pair was 00

One line from some soiritua1ists that I heard often at the gatherina was, "You create vour own oppression." On certain levels I aoree with regards to the times that I have created in myself unnecessary alienation, fear, hatred, paranoia and a craving for victimization. r be lieve that you do receive what you out o u t .

However, material conditions - and this is the planet earth - do shape the individual's usvchology and to refuse to see this is to be as authoritarian and elitist as any Freudian.

I do not accep t the ^alse sep aratio n between spirit­ uality and politics, rather I crave the osm osis/ I do not accept the false separation between spirituality and politics; rather, I crave the osmosis. Here are a few concepts, analyses and means of action which emerged for me from many circles and discussions during and after the gathering.

There is a hierarchy of oppression created by the universal racist patriarchy. °eople are targetted as victims because of where they fit into it and how much a threat they are to it.

They do not ask for i t 1 As Aurora from LASIS said, "Did the Jews ask to be sent to the gas chambers? Did the buffalo ask to be extermina­ ted? Do womyn ask to be raped?"

Path: Choosing one's responsibility for changing consciousness and creating revolution.

Many fairies spoke about "creating your reality or universe".

In moments of clarity, I feel I have chosen this particular life, and see the ways in which I create the environment in which I live. To me, this means summoning power to become constantly open to the vastly st red in­ ternal creative energy which is used for change.

It means taking responsibility for the parts of myself that are not developing, not nurturing change, relationships and clear thinking, ex­ amining those feelings which block my being open.

It means becoming my life force as much as possible, experiencing every moment, encoun­ ter and struggle as fully as possible; breathing, being with roy rhythm and cycles.

It means under­ standing the pain and pleasure of this world, experiencing reality in waves as opposed to being in complicity with masculine, linear, polarized, compartmentalized, hard-edged exis­ tence . 'dten it comes to plan and strategize in groups and alliances, there is conflict with the as­ sumption that everyone on this tiny planet crowded with oppressed people has an equal amount of power with which to create their re­ alities.

It is a privilege to create one's own environment in a racist patriarchy.

Racist Da triarchy is a very powerful universe unto it­ self which cannot be ignored.

While we are developing our group consciousness, though, we should not be giving too much emphasis to their tactics and mindset, an easy distraction and sapping of our creative organizing.

The roots of group struggle art entwined with those of group fairy spirit. The seed is common in that it is about developing power with which to survive with consciousness and to construct an autonomous identity. Me share thi spirit, containing its erotic toy and wo exnerienct Oppression, containing its pain. For one s created internal realitv to b« in osmosis with the environmental factors around his fairy h »dv, those of natural puritv as well as th'Se of h a ­ tred, threat and violence, this enhances c o n ­ sciousness.

It makes us mor* awar* and capable of more relationships.

"if it w e r e n t for the movement, 1 believe there would be no contemporary fairy thinking/ If it weren’t for the qay movement, I believe there would be no contemporary fairy thinking.

The whitemale-dominated "new age" belief system will never sprout a sexual rebellion. The un­ covering of our spiritual and cultural heritage has been by modern faggots with radical politics

To those who think that meditating away negative vibes in the environment is the total answer: being centered is a strong attribute, but not enough. The individual alone cannot change the reality called society nor create a fag universe free of material factors and lives of others who are different. This seems like a god trip, even resembling the white clone urban gentrifier trip, which denies that part of being gay that is a process of growth and struggle and which cries out for common bonding.

At this point, I choose the path of struggle for liberation. This does not mean that I am attach ed to my pain nor am I into furthering roy op­ pression. Rather, I need to face every iota of strength inside myself in order to become en­ lightened and prepared to protect my life and those with whom I am in solidarity on this pla­ net. That means constant challenge with in­ sight. From this process, T believe that r will know what it means to really respect life and love. This is also not a Christianized sufferto-get-to-heaven routine, either.

Rather, it is knowing that bliss cannot exist inside a bubble in a racist Datriarchy.

Many males of racia 1/economic privilege and of hetroale religious affiliation base th<ir identi­ ty and progress upon individualistic, self-cen­ tered gain; they are counter-revolutionary.

For this awareness, some of us at the gathering chose the concept of the Fairy Warrior (or warrior Faggot Fairy) as the symbol of our identity.

61

Formany

gathering, a rediscovery of our power a s fames was an experience which gave hope,’’

challenge o f ustotheat all this males.

lesbian feminists have presented It extends the spirit of the Stonewall Rebellion and early gay liberation, in which drag queens, gaymen of color and of the lower classes, and gay youth Played major roles of leadership.

Crert tinci Power . For many of us at this gather ino, a rediscovery of our power as fairies was an experience which gave hope. what does it mean to be creating a new identity that is based on spiritual, even religious terms, much like other groups who have specific ideologies and heritage: witches, pagans, voodoo, yogis?

'-’hat does it mean to he not simply identifying with your sexuality, by calling yourself "more” than gay or homosexual? What are the connections between being a sexual being and a spiritual one? How do we know we are a part of a fairy heritage with centuries of hystery? How much do we know about that heritage today and to what different ethnic and racial cultures has that belonged? >\hat does it mean to be (biolo­ gical ly) male?

Creating a unique consciousness called fairyhood is a complicated task, requesting a lot of com­ mitment and concentration. We have many sour­ ces of creative discipline and it feels uplift­ ing to know that many gaymales are involved in them: a) meditation, b) healing, c) wicca/witchcraft/magik, d) pagan ceremony/rituaIs, e) work­ ing with the earth and nature/preservation/herbology et.al., f) body/dance/movement/yoga, g) breath/chanting/words/poetry/theatre, h) art/ craft/sculpture/architecture, i) music, 7 ) transvesticism, klmno.....

How can we most fully use the energy these forms release and deepen within us?

During these processes, it is important for me to know that gaymen identifying as spiritual people are conscious of the fact that they are males living in a patriarchy.

Men constantly invent new structures for enhancing their power: the type which is totally oppressive in its individualism, greed, stoicism and destructive­ ness. Distinguishing between obsession with male domination - through sexual objectification economic priveleges, competition, violation, etc. - and what sexual/spiritua 1 /gay power could and does feel like - sharing abilities to love, heal, energize, support, nurture and the conviction to eliminate rape - is a chal­ lenge that 1 believe shades ray being a fairy.

Sissies are political faggots committed to re­ creating a vision for biological males that horrifies and destroys, as the goddess Kali, macho het thought, sexuality, imagery and con­ trol.

Sissies believe that radical feminist politics speak to some of the most important issues of struggle: sexual violence, authoritar­ ianism, racism, autonomy, difference, silence, fear, control over one’s body, developing one's sexual identity. As a sissy who works with and has relationships with lesbians, I feci that bond is mutually strengthening.

Sissies sup­ porting feminism do not invent a rio-off "men's movement".

Sissies also vehemently challenge gaymale complicity with woman-hating and the anti-feminist backlash seen blatantly in rape, anti-abortion organizing and right wing Chris­ tian fanaticism and subtly in the fights about s/m, pederasty and pornography.

Radical i^to dor and tion to

sissyhood is the drag queen rage extendnew areas.

It threatens masculine genmacho sexual identity.

It is in opposi­ homosexual conformity.

Low er C hokm A $ $ h o k , C e n if o is f e e l c’ex anc* Magic ■ On the last night raw elements broke loose after an erotic buildup.

After a wild fashion show of our favorite goddesses which took place in the natural amphitheatre clearing, a frenzy erupted because so much energy had been slowly stirred for four days.

After chaotic screaming, dancing, leaping, al­ most everyone formed a circle around the wooden post erected to symbolize our sexuality.

We focussed our energy through chants, and ritual dance/movement. A group of men/fairies had sex together in the center. It was a very powerful experience...

Because of the intimacy and astonishing openness I experienced in this last ritual, I am not ready to talk about it in detail.

I can say that because of the harmony I felt among the fairies/gaymen in that large, energized circle, I became open to my sexuality in ways I had barely dreamed.

I saw other men experiencing, much to the dismay of many, passion and sensual pleasure that was beyond objectification and obsession with one's masculinity.

Sissyhood, Feminism, and Gay Libera tion. I have been thinking that gaymen who are cynical about gay politics being too Marxist or "hetro-imitalive" or uncool have probably not felt the im­ pact of Feminism upon their lives. The clear­ est faggot response to feminism has been sissy politics and consciousness and the reclaiming of the sissy identity.

Radical effeminate faggots have created this to support and coexist with

I felt that many of us were confronting those forces placed in our psyches by male-dominant thinking and behavior which gets acted out sex­ ually.

1 SAw how modern fag culture has been comolicit with the institutionalization of cruising and scoring beyond my levels of toler­ ance and health.

This ritual showed me that

62

gaymen can express sexuality free of oppression and hierarchy.

I ask each of us to actively discover, then eliminate, those patterns in ourselves that keep us from trustino, bcina in­ timate and lovingly sexual with one another as gaymen.

C/Jberaf/on "For the world we inherit, the total HeteroMale-oriented-and-dominated world ot Tradition and of daily environment...our history, our philosophy, our psychology, our culture, our very languages of communication. ■.all are total­ ly subject-OBJECT in concept...a person is the object of another's perceptions ...to be influ­ enced, manipulated and.•.controlled.

To all of this we fairies should be alien... that OTHER ...THOSE OTHERS .. .wi th whom we seek to link, to engage, to slip into, to merge with...is another LIKE ME...is SUBJECT, LIKE ME. .<ue mu st r e e x a m i n e e v e r y s y s t em o f t h o u g h t . . . e v e r y H e t e r o - m a l e - e v o l v e d su b j.ec t-OBJECT s c i e n c e ,

Given the level of isolationism that is aoing on in response to thi right wing attack against sexuality, it is important for all of us to ri* fuse to exist in a bubble lik. Glinda or 'sally Bowles. We are on the Earth; she is bring tor­ tured, and we have to get our Fairy asses m motion to protect and preserve our lives, as well as the lives of those different from us with whom we feel alliance.

'Je have the power, i.-ixch Fairy Love, Spirit, Strength, Goddess Amazon Courage.

At this moment, let us remember the Spirit oi THE HORNED ONE who was an ancient force/nod worshipped for his homosexual, mischievous, magical powers. He has also been known as "an, Minotaur, Cernunnos, and Eshu-Eleoba in Africa.

It feels hopeful to know that those who have embodied this energy have been - and still are - very outstanding people in cultures who have related strongly with the earth and revered womyn.

Let us call upon our own sexual powers in new ways to influence radical change. Let us be Divine.

r e l ig i o n , m ythology, p o l i t i c a l s y s t e m .. .C onfront­ i n g w i t h t h e l o v i n g , s h a r i n g c o n s e n s u s o f ^sub­ ject -SUBJECT r e l a t i o n s h i p s a l l A u t h o r i t a r i a n i s m mus t vanish . " ~~

- Harry Hay, Towards The New Frontiers of Fairy Vision

'*7hen will it be possible for each gayman to ex­ perience the freedom of a sexuality, eroticism and thinking process that is not patriarchal and consumerist, but is self-created? What is each fairy/faggot’s commitment to making that vision a reality in personal life and gay poli­ tical work? How do we summon and radiate the power that is loving and not individualistic, egotistical and isolating?

"The barriers of* difference will be broken when each gay man names and takes responsibility for the w ays

Kerntmnos @Horned God

T-Shirts

Go<UeJ 5 Gold, Green and Broom

he wields his racial, masculine, and classist pnvi le^es

Hand Silkscreened

on Jan

] 0 0 % Cotton Shirts 5JMAI.L ~ MEDIUM Si £63

LARGE

aqamst others-

^

The barriers of difference will be broken when each qayman names and takes responsibility or the ways he wields his racial, masculine, and classist privileges against others. Merging the radical oay movement with the developing, fresh Fniry consciousnes, .ill hopefully br=„c deeply felt changes and strong alternatives for a oreat many caymales.

To:

0

0

ppd.

LA 515 P 0 51012, New Orleans, LA f0l5l

Oyk« Pnntrd bij New O rleans W immini Graphic* C ollects 63

brothers behind bars '•■e question whether all of the copies of RFD which we send to Drisoners are getting through.

Many are returned marked "released", "refused", "unknown" or "unauthorized".

More may simply be de­ stroyed. Consequently, we'd like to hear from our prisoner subscribers to know whether the maga­ zines are being received.

Please write to RFD at the beginning of the new year (eacn year, start­ ing with 1981) if you are receiving the journal and want to continue receiving it. And, as always, write any time that you feel you may have lost connection with RFD. Thanks.

Under terms of the settlement, homosexual Pub­ lication, per s e , will not be excluded from the prisons. The settlement provides that homosex­ ual publications of a news or informational nature, literary publications or publications of gay religious groups should be admitted.

Under certain circumstances, a local warden may exclude sexually explicit material, although this material may be admitted if it has scholar ly, general social or literary value. The Bu­ reau of Prisons will issue a directive to all wardens incorporating these points.

FEDERAL PRISONS TO ADMIT GAY PUBLIC AT IONS In a newsletter from NGTF dated Oct. 22, 1980 the announcement is made that the Federal Bu­ reau of Prisons has agreed to admit gay publi­ cations into federal prisons. The decision is the centerpiece of an out of court settlement in the case of NGTF e t al vs. Car Ison, a lawsuit filed in May, 1977 by Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund on behalf of several gay publi­ cations which had been excluded from federal prisons. The settlement was approved by the Federal District Court of Washington, DC, and will be monitored by the parties for six months.

W/M, 25 (born 11-11-55), brown hair and eyes, 6 '2 " & good looking wishes to cor­ respond with w/m 30 - 55 yrs old.

I enjoy the outdoors including camping, boating, horseback riding and biking.

I am willing to relocate for an honest and sincere person.

All replies will be answered.

My discharge date is 3-1-81.

Visiting can be set up with an advance notice of a week.

Please respond with some details about you.

Lonesomely, Tony A. Morse Rt 7 Box 548 Lexington, OK

73051

For more information on this issue contact C. F Brydon, NGTF 80 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10011.

AN APPEAL

Dear RFD,

Please helm make a boy’s dream come true by helping him get out of prison.

My name is Steve Whitfield and I am in the penitentiary (prison) and I wish you’d put this letter in your magazine.

I'm 23 yrs old, brown hair, hazel eyes, 5'9".

I like hunting and fishing, party­ ing and the country.

I would like to have someone to correspond with.

I will (be) getting out of prison in eight more months and don't know what I'm going to do or where I'm gonna go. So, I'll be open for suggestions.

Prisoner needs help in obtain­ ing freedom by hiring an at­ torney, and this will cost aoout $850.

Anyone able and willing to hclo can send donati ins to: David Johnson PMB 84070, c o Cashier, LA State Peniten­ tiary, Angola, LA 70712. But do not send cash or personal checks.

Pleas* send monev orders or Cashier's checks and enclose a letter. The donations are tax deductable.

Dave Johnson

64

Steve Whitfield 102323 Box 548 Lexington, OK 73051

brothers behind bars Pear RFDers and staff, Hi, once again, for I wish to congratulate all who had a part in putting out the sum­ mer issue of RFD. In my opin­ ion it was, as usual, very well put together and I so enjoyed it that I shared it with all of the gaysisters in here that are not fortunate enough to be receiving RFD. Keep smiling, we're in your corner!

I do, however, have one complaint - I only receiv­ ed one copy and would like to know if you sent more than one copy to me? Also, I would like to bring everyone's at ­ tention to the fact, once more, that were it not for the treatment that Gays re­ ceive here at O.S.P., not from other cons but from the "Man", that many more people would be reading your publi­ cation.

If anyone who is not a known gay in here was to re­ ceive your magazine they would be immediately "red tagged" and would not have a cell part­ ner any longer or move about as freely as they can now.

Gays are a much too oppressed minority here in O.S.p ., a situation that should be re­ medied immediately.

To show more clearly the ex­ tent of our plight: I was in­ formed that my last letter to you was photocopied and the copy was placed in my Jacket for future reference, (fu­ ture harrasmentl.

It was copied after the issue arrived here and I was curious to know if this is illegal in any way.

If so, please inform me so that I can try and get some legal action started. Mean­ while, you out there, keep thinking of us and hopefully our situation here will soon be better.

Smile, we all send our love out to you.

Dear friend,

Dear RFD,

How are you today: fine I hope.

I am doing the best I can do in here at the time.

I am go­ ing to tell you a little about myself, and I hope you will please tell me s little about yourself, too.

I am Donald McBenge and I am 28 years old.

I have dark brown hair and brown eyes; I am 5'6 " and weigh 125.

I am a Scorpio and I am a male nurse, too.

I have 9 inches and I can keep someone very happy with it, too.

I don't have anyone on the outside to write to at all, and I don’t get any mail from anyone out there either.

I am not going to tell you a lie: I am in prison here now.

I am in here for takina a car , and I was drunk when it hap­ pened to itu . I hone you will not hold this against me, olease, and I hope you will take th< time to write nu back - if you will. Hope to hear from you very soon.

First off I want to thank you for putting me on your sub­ scription list as I have fi­ nally received my first per­ sonal copy of RFD. I find your book to be the most beautiful, interesting, and educational books ever printed.

Love always,

Thank you, Jerry t• Dave

Donald McBenge #26343 Box 520 Walla wa11a, WA 99362 —

Again I must thank you for mak­ ing life behind bars very happy for me because a while back I happened to see an old RFD issue for the first time and read about Dave Johnson also a lonely prisoner in Angola, LA. I contacted him and both of us being prisoners, we un­ derstand feelings only a pri­ soner can know.

We now have the most beautiful relation­ ship two people could uvei ask for. All we need now is our freedom. On bt»half of Davie and myself, we would like to thank you for causing the blossimg of a real true r e l a ­ tionship .

Jerry Helm P 0 Box 91 1 Sioux Falls, SD 57101 < &- *

To whom it may concern: My name is Willie Rav Lyons.

I’m encarccrated for a Period of two and a half years, end­ ing March 16, 1982.

I'm gay, black male, 6 '2 " tall, brown eyes,fairly brown complexion, and I weigh 200 pounds. Be­ fore I was committed to orison I was a student majoring in High School Sports Administra­ tion at Chabot College in Hay­ ward, C A . By the way, I live in Oakland, CA, and I'm 30 years old.

I enioy sports, reading and sociology.

David Johnson PMB #84 97 0 CBR Angola, LA 70712

I am a T .V. (and) would love to hear from similar type people, ones who really love to be next to nature and all of her beauty!

I am 26, 6 *6 ", 2 1 0 lbs., thinning blackish/brown hair, intelligent, sincere, honest, open-minded, uninhibi­ ted, love people (who) know how to love others. Grew up and lived in the country most of my life. Love to fish, hunt, swim, play in the snow, garden­ ing, cooking, yoga, and various occult studies.

Reading your publication is one of the few things that I can relate to while I'm serv­ ing this time. Through it I’m hoping you may assist me in establishing a relation­ ship with someone else that may prove meaningful.

I'm very interested in establish­ ing and maintaining a sincere rtla tionsh io.

Love all types of music, am an artist. Will be returning to the mountains upon my release.

Love (to) hear from anyone who would like to correspond and/or check out a meaningful relation­ ship. would love to hear from anyone. Here's my address.

Willie Ray Lyons C00O23 Calif. Men’s Colony D 8326 P 0 Box A Snr Lu :s Ohisoo, cA '1?4 '"’O

Jeff Borman #20984 Box 900 - 2B-184 Jefferson City, MO

Love y a , Ms Terr i Marsh Salem, OR

65

65102

brothers behind bars Hello, we had a riot in Boise, Idaho, and the federal people came in and shipped a lot of us to different prisons in the Federal System.

I was sent to Springfield, Missouri Medical Prison since I have had open heart surgery. Now they want to send me to another prison because they say there is no­ thing medically wrong with me.

I want to keep on receiving my RFD and will write from where ever I go to let you know ray address.

Since these moves from Idaho I am away from all ray loved ones} the sweet loving roan I'm married to, and in a strange prison with people I don't know, and no way of getting any money for soap, etc.

If anyone can find it in their hearts to send $5 on up each month, I'd be very grateful.

Send postal money orders only to Raymond Barker #01441-045.

In Gay love & pride, Ray Barker #01441-045 P O Box 4000 Springfield, MO 65802

Lonely prisoner, 24, 5'6 ", 130 lbs, blue eyes, Aries seeks letters from other gav persons, bi-couples, and bi-females for a warm and true friendship.

I am from Los Angeles, CA and my latest release date is 7-14-81.

All replies are promised to be promptly answered.

Prison is such a lonely and inhumane place and it would be nice to know that someone cares.

So, please share a lovely day with roe. Any possible photos will fee appreciated and cherished.

This gay brother needs you all out there in the free world.

I am gentle, trim, and love true friends'.

James Lester #23870-175 P O Box 4000 - Unit 10-E Springfield, MO 658 )2

To RFD, You're wondering, I hope, where the Star is; well, I'm here at "Lompoc".

I was "kid­ naped" and sent to Less first.

I was called out of my cell one Saturday morning and told the Warden, Mr. Spalding want­ ed to see roe. I was in "Seg" at the time where we were on a strike against the Man and "his egale (?)" trip. Anyway, ...they crack my door and another convict's door. When we reach the front of the tier we're handed white overalls and told we're being "ship(ed) out". So, we were taken out front where we are then to be put in leg cuffs and hand cuffs, chains around our waists, and then here comes two federal marshalls, and we're packed into this van & taken to the Seattle "King Co. Jail" where I'm then put in the hole in Unit II, where I sit for ten days (with) no food, no showers. Then fed­ eral marshalls come get me early in the morning and take me to the airport. From there I'm handed over to some roan of Uncle Sam's agents and put on a plane headed for "Chicago, 111.". From there I'm sent to Oxford, Wise, where I know no one.

I scream bloody mur­ der and they send me from there to here where I'm sup­ posed to be closer to Wash.

I asked why I am being done like this and I'm told by the "Asst, warden" that walla Walla says I'm this and I'm that and that I was trouble, and that's that. But like I've said with no outside sup­ port I'm subjected to all of their traps and "games".

Since I've been here in the feds, my 3/10/80 release date has past. I'm still locked up; my mother has been put on a "kidney machine"; my life has damn near been crossed out. But, I'm still alive and strong. Please listen hear my plea. '\friat (is) go­ ing on here is just as serious as the Walls or "Manroc" there's to be blood shed here anytime.

"I want out".

Please, if there are any law­ yers or anyway you can help roe get a defense fund, please do.

I was relieved when the murder charge against me was dropped - now this.

66

I know now Good Strong sup­ port is hard to come by in these places, but in RFD I've found friends and much more.

I haven't received any papers or anything for some time, so please, if you would, send me some. That would uplift my spirit.

It's really depressing here plus I just can't seem to get my head together in this "joint", so it's urgent I hear from someone soon, 'cause I feel like blowing it.

Your understanding and sup­ port whatever you do is deep­ ly, deeply imbedded in my hear t .

I'm peaceful in this war, Star Leonard "Star" Carter 005-28-045 P O Box W Lompoc, CA 93438

Dear Editor, Now it is evening again, and the metal bars that separate we poor shadows from the out­ side world have slammed shut with a soul chilling echo.

Before me lies another night in which moon and stars are only a phantom memory on the ceiling of my cell. During the night I shall experience many things. Some will be the faces of those I have loved and lost, others will be the memories of hatred and violence.

And during the long night ahead I will cling to my dreams hoping to find in the peace of slumber a surcease from the rage that gnaws inwardly at my heart.

My convict's world is a lonely on e , and I would be bold enough to ask if there is a reader who would share my lonely hours with me by writing and speak­ ing to me of the outside world from which the so-called jus­ tice of our society has ban­ ished me.

Thank you, Ja~>es McFarland 141-240 P O Box 4 5699 Lucasville, OH 45699

brotiiei'S behind

bars

Gay male, 6 ft, 185 lbs, green eyes, brown hair, en­ joys sports - very masculine, enjoys sincereness - please wr ite.

Randy Ziegler #95842 Box 97 State Prison McAlester, CK 74501

The Triangle Gay Communications and Planning Committee, in Raleigh, NC is looking for peo­ ple interested in being part of a Gay/Lesbian Action Alert (GLAA). Too many times peo­ ple like Anita Bryant, Jerry Falwell or Phyllis Schlafley come to town and nobody knows about it until it's all over.

If you’ll send them your tel­ ephone number they'll let you know before they get there.

a

Dear RFD, I was told you ran a free pen-pal list for prisoners.

Is this true? If so, would you please place mine?

W/M 24, 5'10", 155 (lbs).

Wesley Johnson o55448 P O Box 747 Starke, FL 32091 I will answer all!

5—

Dear RFD,

The Virginia Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Rights adopted its inital charter at a meet­ ing on Oct. 11, 1980 in Char­ lottesville, VA. For more information on this emerging group, write: The Virginia Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Rights, Box 552, Richmond, VA 23220.

Gay Rights National Lobby (GRNL) is looking for people to become part of a constitu­ ent network. Congressional Action Alerts will be sent in discrete envelopes.

Our re­ presentatives and senators will never worry about our rights unless we do. Write: GRNL, P O Box 1892, Washing­ ton, DC 20013.

I am serving a 3 to 9 years sentence in NY State prison.

I am a Pisces/Aquarian cusp; 37 years old. My interests are fine arts, classical music, books of all kinds, the oc­ cult, astrology, and tattoos.

Tattoos cover my arms, hands, chest and back. All were pro­ fessionally done.

I would prefer corresponding with residents of New York, especially NYC metropolitan area.

I will respond to all with similar interests.

Paul Cheuvront 79-A-2017, C-2-18 Box 51 Comstock, NY 12821

The Triangle Gay Communica­ tions and Planning Committee (TGC PC) needs to broaden its mailing list to at least 200 people in order to use their bulk mailing permit.

If you are interested in receiving a calendar of gay events tak­ ing place in the Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill (NC) area, send your name, address and $2.50 to: TGC PC, PO Box 5614 Raleigh, NC 27650

The National Steering Committee of the Anti-Klan Conference Coalition is continuing a dis­ cussion on how to focus atten­ tion on increasing Klan activi­ ty and repression of human rights. For more information write to: Anti Klan Conference Coalition c/o Christie Inst., 1324 N. Capitol, Washington, DC 20002 or phone (202) 797-8106.

67

YEARS I THOUGHT MYSELF ALONE

by Stream Years I thought myself alone At the Parka glance, a sharing Physical release needed And afterwards maybe an openness Yes, I'm lonely too But yet we seldom meet again

LAZARUS

by Diane Glancy Lazarus, called from the dead came like the phoenix, another immigrant of that land.

There is a unity shared by all A place of acceptance is needed Where we're no+ a lone But where is a brother iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.friere are my brothers and sisters Who have no desire for the energy the beat of the city

The crowd around him offered persimmons and tea, and asked how it wasthat tremulous flight.

But few listened when he answered with the swell of locust wings.

THE JUGGLER

by John Soldo

1980

The double bind of living in a small town- one must be discreet, unobtrusive, no outward signals like keys or kerchiefs added to the costume; one must keep a low profile in a game of pretension; be seen wi th women as if all social events were a show of sorts; and, on the other hand, desire and need drives one to search out fellows of the persuasion in chance encounters in the underground of friends, Like a juggler your balls are in the air; gradually you become adept and none of them fall.

But how long can you go on juggling?

In the city you can street cruise, but in the town you only admire what beauty nature has fashioned like a bit of window shopping-innocent and perverse.

CITY STREETS

by Steve Pallagi Hushed hollows, standing ear to ear, Stare deafly dumb into the night As city street, like giant tongues, Their clamor cry in dissonance.

Resounding up the caverns, frought With rows of gleaming, stainless teeth, The strident cries of city streets Rasp the yawning mouths of steel That press cold lips against black breasts.

68

THE LITTLE BOY IN ME

LONG DISTANCE

by John Soldo

by Jim Long

c 1980

No one sees the little boy in me the little fellow who paints rooftops yellow and cries at the death of a tree.

the rain pebbling the bottom curve of the drainpipe has stopped the solitude of the night has returned except for an occasional

Nor do you see the son who tries so hard to please Or the little boy who prayed "Please God, please, don't make roe grow up,"

the ringing of the phone was as insistent as the rain I put a stop to it a dozen times saying I would try again

You seem to look at me the way I look, too not recognizing that roan staring back from the mirror at the little boy in me.

pitched like a flat roof I lean toward you thousands of miles away my pretense was to say I had arrived safely though the plage was an hour late but what I wanted was your shadowed voice you

HIERARCHY to Karl Marx

by Crazy Owl There is a rule for every occasion There is an exception to every rule The seat of power is control of the exceptions This is the source of hierarchy

that haunt threatened existences.

Neither birthright nor even blood ties will bind ghostly images, dark with yesterday's terror.

A beaten child learns to obey rules The person who beats the child controls the adult A beaten child cannot be free of the fear of being beaten Every parent knows this

And yet , each of us mus t , without just recourse, go on into this moment; Our every breath the reconciliation of this life we have been blessed with.

Every child knows In a nation which Every adult needs to avoid the next

this beats its children rules to obey beating

Inside every roeanie inside our fear is a beaten child

69

WINDY-NIGHT-TIME MORNING

SUMNfcR NIGHT/WINTER WISH

by Rick Cole

by Don Sunseri

I hear the wind outside my window and as it rushes thru the leaves I feel the trees knowing voices beckoning to m e .

Their subtle secrets blowing from leaf to gentle leaf Let me know there's something growing And it waits out there for me.

Summer night firefly night lightbug in the blackscape lady finger star f lash Summer day most complete green saturate saturate green hear t/heat green Winter wish green , green I want you green.

' ,

< * - t' . f a

EARLY EVENING

by Mel Riley

v'

...early evening; wine-colored, the sky comes to marry the earth Summer rain, winter snow; they are here, then gone like the breaths of passion.

In the silent darkness, I hear your breathing, feel you move beside me.

NO TRACE

by Franklin Abbott Like jade translucent from some hidden light moving, cresting falling lacey irridescent vanishing fringe on sand turning jasper, slate, mahogany a face lined imperceptibly holding and yielding the smallest of shadows

FLOOR OF THE FOREST

by Jerry Vanderraoss Delicate grasses and shadowy trees, Skipping grass-hoppers and patient spiders, Energetic ants in rush-hour traffic.

Rudding mushrooms on moldy bark, Young pine seedlings claiming space, Sniffing bear cub leaving prints.

The clouds remember pink and orange a sun fallen deep behind dunes and soon there is only the sound of the rising and falling of wave after wave only the Pleiades diamonds in onyx only the wind blowing sand in our footsteps yielding and holding the smallest of shadows for only a moment then gone with no trace

Eye-piercing hawk watching lunch, Scented blooms in orderly aloneness, Quick stepping chipmunk ever alert.

Natural teachings of tolerance and respect, Healings extended to the thoughtful, Balanced harmony, the Whisper of God.

70

FINGER PAINTING IN THE FIELD ALONE

by Crazy Owl

by Stream

Life is a box of crayons

In the field alone The sun and humidity, Sweat pours from my body and cleanses it.

I make love to the earthl

Some take one to color their days all the same Gold green orange black white

LANDS END Mine are the colors of the rainbow One of each

by Michael Cullen Holy Man enters casting cool amber shadows raising legs parting love breaks into a soft moan while sea air reveals

CIRCUS CLOUDS

by Steve Pallagi Bag of peanuts, sidewalk table, Bottle of pop, curbside label, Park bench cone, if you're able, Watch the tent float down.

REFORMING THE BEACH: LONG NOOK

Cotton candy midway sky, Catch 'em quickly if you try, Animal crackers you can't buy Up there runnin' 'round.

by Ron Schreiber alone in mid-September naked now the season rangers --the ones who leer & write tickets-are laid off for lack of funds

Licorice cracking, make 'em prance, Bubble gum snapping, start to dance, Horses, hippos, marching bands, Circus clouds in town*.

I wonder whether there'll be another faggot in the dunes & if we'll like each other

Now pretend you're ice cream, melting.

Imagine being cut up with a spoon, exposed to the warm air, mixed with the sauce.

Feel your crystals turn to water; think you're more like what you ought to be, more able to please.

With all your edges softly gleaming, now you're ice cream.

Everybody loves ice cream.

You think I should have them bronzed and put them in the living room.

Perhaps I'll pick them like flowers and put them in the dictionary.

71

Qu3rtct by y ^ ic h a c l y^ Q soq

I GOT MYSELF IN TROUBLE

I SPENT A FULL MOON NIGHT WITH CASANOVA YOU CAN CALL ME A YOUNG MAN I spent a full moon night with Casanova On a single bed.

In a little room, In a little world Built on the words He said.

You can call me a young roan But you don't know what I've seen.

I’ve seen mountains in fhe distance Turning brown and turning back and Turning green again with spring.

Lovers and their changing faces, Taking one another’s places.

I've seen their mornings Waking up alone.

The story's on the inside, It does not show on my face.

The traces of the turnings As they turned to me And turned new leaves Before they turned away.

Sometimes it is reluctantly We return to being free.

9 )0 0 0 0

I turn to myself these days, And to myself these nights.

Turning on a different kind of Turning on a tender wheel.

Turning older every day And learning how to feel.

Full with life as those isine eyes ’That turn me down the paths I take, And are looking for me there.

Cxp

CONTEMPLATING PIGEONS

Contemplating pigeons And drinking beer at noon: It was always said I'd Come To This Though it wasn't planned So Soon.

You can call me a young man But you don't know what I've seen.

I’ve seen mountains in my very depths Turning brown and turning back And turning green again with spring.

72

tzducatinq

by ~/tdam /

A

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Shrents

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-Jo n es '“Y

well feed me? you'd think they were doing it on purpose. And diaperst Sometimes it'd be hours before I got a change.

I know parents don't have a natural sense of hygiene, they have to acquire the ideas of dirty and clean , they're just like blank tablets awaiting a message, but I don't mind admitting sometimes I screaroeed at them.

I mean perverse is all very well, but I swear sometimes they wan ted not to understand.

I v « tried to bring up ray parents to share ray values and my sense of humor.

I ’ve really tried. But somehow parents never turn out the way you expect them to. When I think of how much I hooed for, when I think of how patient I’ve been, it’s hard not to feel bitter sometime 5• It's not that they're mean parents. They're cood oarents, and I did everything I could to give them a good start.

I’m not the lazy mod­ ern sort of son, the sort that thinks every­ thing’ll turn out fine if you just leave them alone. Perhaps I loved them too much, perhaos I sooiled them, but that's a generous fault, isn't it? Maybe I tried to protect them too much, but isn't a guy allowed to feel protec­ tive? Is that wrong? They're so young, so young for their age, and I suppose I'm partly to blame for that. They'll have to grow up sometime, everybody does.

Still, I got used to them.

I expect I came to depend on their need of me.

1 wish I had photos of the way they looked then, always so fresh and untouched, learning something new evtry day, coming to me with their pet projects and their little enthusiasms.

I never thouoht we'd grow apart.

I never thought they'd lose thAt fresh­ ness. Bill (he's the older), always so grave and preoccupied, he always looked as if he was running the world, as if everything and every­ one depended on him. That was so cute.

And mi and Sheila, that's my little girl (not so little any more), we always humored him, we always let him think he was getting his own way. But Sheila would give me a sly little wink to show she knew what was really happening.

Sheila was always the bright one, bright as a button.

I suppose whe was really my favourite.

It's all so different from what you expect.

When you take the big step, when you decide to be a child, you think everything is going to be easy. And to start with, it is. You have this tremendous sense of purpose, this great cer­ tainty that you're doing the right thing.

I m not saying that morning sickness is fun, and things get pretty uncomfortable towards the end, but you don't really have any doubts.

And then you turn around and suddenly they've changed.

Suddenly they're brash and assertive, and it's want want WANT all day long.

You real­ ly want them to make a good impression on your friends, but they let you down time after time.

I suppose the forties and fifties are a diffi­ cult age, but it's hard to be patient with them.

And then there’s sex, the facts of life and all that.

It’s only natural that they should want to know, but that doesn’t make it any easier to tell them.

I prided myself on being approach­ able, and I relied on them to ask questions.

But the time came when I had to make a state­ ment.

I remember how many false starts I made, just how hard it was to tell them I was gay.

Maybe they were too young for it, not ready for it yet. And if you tell them too early, it can mess them up badly.

You’re taking a real psy­ chological risk, and it's a hard decision to make. Watching them take those first unsteady steps towards maturity is heart-breaking. They stumble so easily, and you know you won't always be around to pick them up.

Labor is hell , believe me. That terrible squeezed lurching, that terrible pressure, you think they'll go on forever. But finally it's over, and there you are with your newborn par­ ents. And of course they don't look young at all, they look old, old and short-tempered, demanding and just plain tired-out.

But I re­ member how proud I was, thinking how far they d come. A few hours ago they were a couple like any other, waiting there in the darkness. And now here they were in a whole new world, bonny and healthy.

No complications.

I don't care what anyone says, parents are only beautiful when they're yours.

I don't expect anyone else would have thought much of roy pa­ rents, he so red in the face, and she so pale.

But I loved them, and they were enough for me.

And when I saw their first smile, and heard their cries for the first time, those cries that every child knows, cries which somehow combine possessiveness, exhaustion, pride and hunger, I remember thinking with incredulous delight , I did that!

I did that 1I

Growing up Gay is like growing up Jewish in a family of anti-Semites.

In effect your parents tell you, with all the naivety that can be so charming in the right place, that Jews are main­ ly interested in the ritual murder of young Gentiles; you have to correct their mistakes and keep your own balance all the while. And par­ ents just don't listen nowadays.

I suppose nothing will ever match up to those first few moments. After that it's mostly de­ mands and disappointments.

In a few weeks you're lying there thinking How the hell am I supposed to get any sleep if you don't damn 73

Continued on page %

Rudolph Steiner in Germany (d. 1925) and Sir Howard from England (d. 1928) assured that com­ post was not putrifying matter but alive matter with a self-generating temperature.

Steiner was the founder of Spiritual Science and bio­ dynamism by which the secret knowledge of nature proven by the most ancient cultures was still valid. The sun, the stars, the moon...all cre­ ation had influencing forces to offer to make life possible on earth.

Sir Howard was more of a biologist. But both Steiner and Howard fathered the organic movement in this century, admidst the laughter of the followers of the technological revolution, and consumerism. At the end of the 20th century the latter has made the earth a "drug addict" while Steiner and Howard have helped restore the concept of the earth as a living thing, and a giver of life.

Com posting by ffcv. Stephen Von Fauer

The INDORE Method of Howard reads: HEAP COMPOST 1 . a layer of brush at the base for 6 to 1 0 inches thick.

2 . a layer of 6 - 1 0 inches of weeds, crop waste, vegetable trimmings, leaves (green matter) 3. a layer of 2 inches of manure or any high nitrogen component.

4. a layer of top-soil and limestone 2 inches thick.

THEN YOU START A3 AIN, layer by layer up to 5 to 6 feet high. a. allow the pile to rest for 3 weeks. b. after 5 weeks let air in (punch the heap as you would punch a hole to make donuts - use a bar . c. leave it alone for 3 months.

The best way to transfer the bio-dynamic power of nature to other living things which will nourish the earth is by composting during the winter so that plants and animals will live in spring and summertime.

The cycle of life demands rest to re-create cells, digest and assimilate. The earth needs the rest of the winter to do the same.

Composting and fall/winter go together.

After the harvesting we always have a pile of left­ overs which neither we nor the animals consume.

We have stalks, roots, wasteparts of vegetables, trimmings, peels, gone-by fruits, straw, hay... and brown gold (manure), human or animal...not to mention the last dressing of mother nature (leaves).

The amount of bacteria found in the "rotting" combination of all these things is more than enough to kill a horse in less than it takes to say it. But the LIFE (bio-dynamism) of dead matter is much more than a combination of min­ erals: it is a mystery so real and spiritual as is the change of an eaten potato into human b 1 ood.

This Life is so dynamic that even a manure pile is always warm.

It becomes a "life giving" ma ­ terial made of millions and trillions of micro­ organisms that a plant will need to feed on.

Lavoisier put it this way: "Nothing is destroy­ ed; all is changed into something else"...by some secret law of the Creator of life who silently blends the elements by which life be ­ comes LIFE all the time.

Oftentimes in Europe the Johns are outside on a mount, when the raw matter is high they add the above ingredients to decompose during the winter without covering the pile with dirt for aeration.

HOW DO YOU COMPOST? Just like making a cake, that is, by using the right ingredients in mixed proportions and at the right time, with plenty of air, warmth, moisture, cold, exposure to the active yeast, blending, etc.

In the USA it's very common for people to use chicken wire in a circle or in a square shape.

Just think that a plant needs plenty of nitro­ gen. why not use things that nobody even eats and are full of nitrogen like hair, molded left-overs, saw-dust, weeds from stagnant water, egg-shells, rotten leaves, old wool and cotton clothes and paper?

The fastest way to compost is by shredding what goes into the heap. Amazingly enough, the time can be reduced to 15 days for composting when the solid matter (organic) has been shred­ ded, and is subject to the right aeration and 74

temperature.

In case of shredding it is re­ commended to cover the pile with cardboard, cloth, or a plank of wood to allow retention of moisture and heat.

Animal manure (all kinds) is very high in nitro­ gen and therefore is heat producing.

So is blood, dead animals, sewage, fish scraps, soy­ bean meal, bones, etc. Remember the way the Indians planted their corn: one fish next to the grain in the soil.

The temperature inside the pile goes up to 160 degrees F. which is the most desirable compost­ ing temperature. This allows the killing of disease organisms and other pathogens, insects, weed seeds, etc.

For Steiner composting is not composting without the earthworm.

"The best allies of the farmer," he wrote, "are the bees, the stinging nettle, and the earth worm." The secret of having worms in the compost pile is that the worms work their way through the pile and take care of the aera­ tion, plus the addition of their own wastes and digestions which is very nitrogenous.

Of all things, you hear some old Yankees tell you how a sprinkle of milk "keeps the worms coming". The truth is that in the worst of winters a well wormed-up pile ripens up better and faster than the pile without worms.

Sun­ light is not a must for a compost pile; on the contrary, it is recommended to either cover the pile or to make it in a shaded place. Worms do not like the sunlightl

Notes

from

ftermtf Wo((oa> (kj John It happened!

It paid off to suggest that o and young auys should communicate. The older need direct contact with some of the present young ideas, whilst the younger ones need the leavening experience from those that've travel­ ed the rugged road a good bit farther.

From an ad I wrote in a State paper there were a dozen replies.

I invited most to visit, which they did. One, named Mark, in his mid­ twenties was the one that had many similar ideas to mine, plus was country born and raised before going to work in a city.

The initial warming up to each other was soon over and we felt relaxed as we shared our dreams and hopes for a continuing life together.

The two moments when the affair could have end­ ed was mainly my fault because I didn't realize that at Mark's age I too had vacillated and changed ideas as quickly as new ones were born.

Now, (it's eight months in October), we both feel free to expose our thoughts without comment from the other unless they are in form of a question asking to be discussed.

I think of the advice a gay priest and friend gave me a few years ago: "It takes both to give 1 1 0 % of themselves."

One important recommendation: make sure that you know the acidity of your soil so that you may add the necessary limestone to the compost pile.

Do not make compost with only one kind of raw material.

Whilst I'm inclined to be serious, Mark is full of laughter. We both have a sense of humor, yet both are very sensitive which may be a good thing because one tempers remarks instead of being caustic.

Who can do the turning of the compost for you?

Believe it or not the humble chicken can do a great job at turning your compost pile...and at composting your garden. Make a big enough cor­ ral to partition it in two or four sections.

One section will be used for composting, while the other will be the chicken coup.

When the compost is almost ready let the chickens occupy the first section where the compost is, and use the other section for a new compost pile.

In two years you can have a garden fertile enough to feed a family of six without effort, includ­ ing the old chickens now ready for the freezer.

There were bumper crops for canning and freez­ ing from my vegetable patch. Friends call it a jungle as everything is grown close together short and tall - plus volunteers, but for next year we both are planning an orderly garden based on a Chinese couples' book Bet ter Vege­ table Gardens the Chinese Way -

Please, during the summer do not forget to use plenty of mulch to help your compost work like the yeast in the cake. The Japanese have been using plastic cloth to raise the temperature of the soil and to keep the moisture in the soil.

Likewise, don’t forget that your potatoes like acid soil, i.e. without limestone.

Sandy soils would be the best potato soils.

Jhe. end

We chose to replace my three hens with six banties and a rooster. After six weeks, two have gone broody; one or two are laying but we can't find the nest. The nest may be at the back of the woodshed and can't be reached until winter fires have reduced the log pile. The banties are cute little devils'.

Living alone, I've never bothered to decorate the house for Christmas beyond displaying the forty-odd cards from gay friends. This year it's going to be different since Mark has al­ ready made wreaths of garlic seed heads and everlasting flowers. He has a whole tray of more dried flowers to convert into colorful arrangements.

For the last four Februaries I've had a party for twenty gay friends. Next February it'll be a first anniversary too - it's gotta be; we've already started planning the menu'.

First, I recommend before trying to obtain windpower that you live without any outside energy sources other than what you can obtain with your own hands. This process allowed me to learn the thinos I could do without and those which T felt were necessary for my wants.

After two years of nothing but firewood and muscle power I opted for followino thru a slow evolution. First was a 1940's vintage Servel refrigerator still readi­ ly available. The Servel runs on natural gas or can he converted to propane.

I use propane which is a byproduct of gasoline manufacture and readily available. These refrigerators are incredible: No moving parts hence nothino to wear out and virtually silent. Then came a small propane range to supplement the wood Home Comfort.

I love the Home Comfort and it's a wav of life, but when the temperature and hu­ midity both near 10 0 the toys of cooking on a wood stove wear thin - as does cuttina wood.

Wood heat was and still is a "joy, but not in mid-July.

the site and wind conditions. The site problem is obvious. My location is in the Blue Ridge Mountains and I had to get above the trees where the wind is. A thorough knowledge either by experience or actual testing equipment of your wind availability is a must or you'll blow everything - literally. Once I had determined my power requirements and type of tower I went out in search of the best price. Here I learn­ ed the hardest lesson. Don't buy from the cheapest source. There are a lot of entrepre­ neurs in the business.

If you're not able to do it yourself (a good oossibility) actually visit the guy who can provide the hardware and make up your own mind as to his reliability.

Check with his or her other customers.

I'll gladly tell you whom not to buy from. And if you’re not used to working at heights strapped to a tower by a belt, and don't have a friend so inclined, then be prepared to hire someone.

All the how-to and technical advice will be found in Other Homes and Garbage.

The first venture in windflower was with an 8 ' Aeromotor water mill.

Haulnng water, five gal­ lon a day consumption, and exhausting the hos­ pitality of friends for showers grew thin in short order. This windmill was a gift of the Universe free for the dismantling and removal.

There are plenty of these around in repairable condition which can be bought similarly or for very little. But beware’ . The dismantling and re-erection (wow! what a word) are not simple.

I gave up in the process and enlisted the aid of an Amish company who did the feat verv reasonably. Name on request.

And so I lived for another four years saving money tor an investment in an eletric generator.

I was actually very content without electricity but thought I had to have it.

I read everything I could get my hands on about wind generators and found the ultimate best sources were Other Homes and Garbage (an excellent technical manual written for the layperson put out by the Sierra Club) and Wind Power Digest, a quarterly where you can find out what's happening and what's available.

Address: 109 E. Lexington, Elkhart, IN 40514.

Due to the site, the tower and generator I put up was a difficult and expensive process. To­ ward the end of that effort someone asked me "WHY?" I thought a while and felt foolish when I responded, "I want the ability to flip on a light at night and listen to unlimited tunes."

Eventually I opted for a revamped 1930's vintage Jacobs generator to go on a 100' self-supporting tower. The generator rated at 4000 watts was more than ample for my needs at that time. The height of the tower and type was determined by

1 did attain those wants, and now that I've done so I'm reminded of the old adage, "Be careful of what you want, for you'll get it."

7f>

If I had it to do all over and given the same situation I would opt to remain as I have de­ scribed before the wind generator along with the 2000 watt Homelite generator to run tools such as a power saw when necessary. The wind generator for me is essentially a luxury which in turn presents problems such as maintenance, mechanical failure, and dealing with DC current.

Nothing is manufactured in the way of electri­ cal equipment which is AC/DC regardless of the popularity of the expression. My location, a mile from the nearest power line, dictated a DC system with batteries for storage.

I had to become adept at converting AC appliances or tools to DC or reverting to the old gas genera­ tor, or employing an expensive not always sat­ isfactory inverter. There are problems.

Ideal­ ly if I lived near a conventional power utility I'd have an everyday plug-in with a windgenerator in conjunction. Of course, this is depen­ dent upon wind available. However, this permits a system which is AC. There are no batteries.

When there is no wind you use directly from the power company.

When there is wind you use all you want free of charge, more or less, and if there is an excess it is piped back into the utility lines thru an inverter, and theoretical­ ly you run the meter backwards.

It's the best of two worlds right now - and expensive.

ITS THE MOVTSTCAINS THE COALITION SHIRT Available in Green/blue on Light blue, Sand, or Green/white baseball shirt $1 per shirt benefits The Southern Vermont LesbianGay Men's Coalition

T-SHIRTS

Cost, $ 6 each, SML, postpaid Can be ordered directly from Carrington Screenprints, Box 16 Marlboro, Vermont 053-14 Or at coalition meetings

Silicon photovoltaic cells are the hope for the future now available.

Yet the cost is prohibitive, tho rapidly coming down. These cells use sunlight and convert it directly to electricity.

SOLAR'. It's the way to go.

THE

R F D

SHIRT

In purple on Sand, Light blue, and Blue/white baseball shirt. $1 per shirt benefits R F D

Richard Davis Drawer B Free.Union, VA

22940

NORTH CAROLINA: DISCOVER

The News & Entertainment Paper for N.C's Gay Community

z p iM P m Subscript ton S12 yr Sample Cop', $! 00 A d ra te s a v a ila b le o n re q u e st

P O Box 2 5 M 2 Raleigh N C 27 6!!

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77

Cooking With

Pan-Fried Tofu with Sauce(serves 4/

Sog Dairy Tofu

4 tablespoons oil 1 pound tofu, cut crosswise into 8 slices 1 tablespoon soy sauce (shoyu) teaspoon garlic powder 2 tablespoons soy sauce (shoyu) 1/3 cup water l teaspoon honey or maple syrup 1 teaspoon cornstarch Pinch of salt and oepper Heat a skillet and coat with the oil. Add tofu slices and fry for 4 minutes on each side.

While frying, sprinkle tofu with soy sauce, garlic powder, and nutritional yeast. Mix sauce ingredients and pour over tofu in pan after tofu is fried. Simmer, stirring gently over medium heat, for about 2 minutes, or until sauce thickens.

From New England Soy Dairy Submitted by Ronald Alsobrook

Tofu is a versatile, hiah protein soyfood made from soybeans, water, and natural nigari that provides an attractive altern­ ative or supplement to our traditional sources of protein.

Americans, increas­ ingly concerned with their health and re­ viewing their stand­ ard diets, heavy in animal fats, are turning to tofu for its lack of choles­ terol , its low fat, calorie and carbohydrate levels, its high Bvitamin and mineral content, and its digesti­ bility and relative purity.

For more inform­ ation and recipes see THE BOOK OF TOFU by 8 hurtleff and Aoyagi, Autumn Press, 1975, or the condensed Americanized version, Ballantine Books, 1979.

(Q)®®©m

Serving

Suggestions

season tofu liberally- it absorbs flavors well.

Make pan-fried tofu into a sandwich with let­ tuce, tomato, mayonaise and mustard. Add 1-inch cubes of fresh tofu to soups, stir-fried vege­ tables, salads and casser* les.

Rocky5 N ut L o a f

Cut tofu into 1-inch cubes, drain, then freeze, '•'hen tofu turns yellow ( 1 2 hours), remove from freezer, thaw, and droo cubes into soups or saute with vegetables. Tofu will have a soonqe1 ike tecture.

Storage

From Autumn, 1980 Equinox Gathering at Running Water Farm, by request: cup butter or safflower oil 2 medium onions, chopped 1 pound mushrooms, chopped

3 cloves garlic, minced or pressed

Refrigerate tofu, storing it under water. Chanoc the water frequently so tofu will last 7 to 10 days.

Nu’rition Information per Serving..

Serving Size Servings per container Ca lories ’rot ei n Carbohydrat e Fat Cholesterol (0 mq/lOOg) Sodium (less than 10 mg/lOOg)

Percentage of U.S. Recommended Da i1y A1lowances Protein Vitamin A Vitamin C Thiamine Ribof3avin Niacin C a 1c ium Iron Phosooherous

2 bell peppers, chopped

3 ribs celery, chopped 1 cup almonds, finely ground (blender or mouli) 1 cuo walnuts, finely ground (or 1 / 3 c. e a :

sesame, sunflower, and walnuts) bread crumbs, more or less 1 cup wheat germ 2 eggs, lightly beaten 3 T Brewer's yeast, optional 1 T Soy Sauce 1 t Rosemary 2 t Sage Veg Sal and pepper to taste

1 cud

4 oz .

4 90 1 0 grams 1 gram 6 grams 0 mgs Less than 1 0 mgs

Saute vegies together in butter or oil.

Mix the vegies and their liquid in a large bowl with the remaining ingredients until well blended, add­ ing more bread crumbs, if necessary, to achieve a slightly moist consistency. Conversely, if the mixture is too dry, add more liouid (i.e. milk, stock, whatever). Assemble into an oiled mold or 9x3x3" loaf pan and bake 40 min. in a preheated 350 degree oven.

If you like, serve with a vegetarian gravy or tomato sauce. The nut loaf, when cold, can be spread on crackers with cream cheese or used like a sandwich spread.

YUMI YIELD: 8-10 servings.

15 0 0

4 2

O 4 13 13 78

The Understanding Abnormal People S c rie s

'"VEGETARIANISM ” What's it all about?

by Dr. O s c a r M e y e r Some vegetarians are always on the prowl, searching at all hours of the day and night for a ripe avocado or young mushroom. On the other hand, there are the eieter vegetarians who eat at home, occasionally using their blenders, which may result in beverages of high nutrition­ al value.

Vegetarianism is the love of eating vegetables and other non-animal foods. Many beautiful things have come out of vegetarianism, such as carrot cake and pickled beets. Nevertheless happy vegetarians are uncommon.

It is contrary to the normal diet of our society and makes eating with these people difficult, even during the best of pot lucks.

From what we have said, the possibility of "curing" vegetarians is fairly apparent.

It a vegetarian wants to be cured it is possible with enough treatment. Most vegetarians who come to a doctor do not want to be meat eaters but want to be relieved of the symptoms which often occur among vegetarians, such as anemia, kale cholic, or broccoli farts. Many of them are over-eaters and cannot resist "picking up" a vegetable plate at any time and in any place.

Some vegetarians carry this so far that even if they are in the company of meat eaters in a public restaurant, they will take off for a granola bar if they soot a likely looking health food shop.

Nearly everybody has vegetarian desires of which he or she is not aware. Vegetarians are usually in a great deal of conflict since they are resented by meat eaters, whom they make un­ easy by stirring up latent vegetarian feelings.

Often they are hated or at least found hard to understand. Vegetarians can often sense iust how close to the surface overt or latent vege­ tarianism is in others and they may launch a campaign to "bring out" these carefully repres­ sed desires in others by such subtle moves as suggesting a chef salad for lunch.

It should be emphasized that children are curious and tend to experiment.

Occasional play with carrots, potatoes, or other vege­ table matter does not necessarily indicate that the child or adolescent is headed for vegetar­ ianism or any other unusual eating habits.

WHAT IS SOCIETY TO DO WITH VEGETARIANS? Their eating habits are confused enough as it is and punishment is not indicated. The best thing one can do is treat them as politely as one would anyone else.

They, on their part, should be expected to abide by ordinary rules of decency.

They should not eat with minors or force their food on people who are not interested. They should not flaunt their desires in public bv carrying exposed salad dressing bottles and thev should not embarrass those around them by eat­ ing raw cucumbers or talking about such acts in public.

If they behave and control themselves, their private lives should be of no more concern to anyone else than should a meat eater's pri­ vate life. Putting them in jail with our now common farm prison camps often, or even usually results in provid-ng them with added opoortuni­ ties to "mingle witn the greens” , so to speak.

There are roughly four ways that vegetarians develop.

(1) The first type may show oeculiar eating habits from early childhood, spitting out the liver paste in preference for the mashed sugar peas.

(2) The second type may seem entirely normal until they grow up and then they find to their surprise and anxiety that vegetables interest them more than meat.

(3) A third kind of vegetarian development occurs in situations where no meat is available.

As hunger builds up people get less and Icsparticular about their food and, if the pre­ ferred food is not available, they will often take whatever they can get.

(4) The fourth wav in which a boy or girl may develop overt veaetarianism is by seduction.

Seductions are not uncommon in gardens and the seducing gardener has been a theme for many plays.

It is occasionally possible for we meat eaters to form shallow friendships with vegetarians if we can just continually remind ourselves that, when it comes to f >od, the salad is our option.

Groups of vegetarians are found in certain health food stores and food co-ops in every large city.

Some of these "eating establish­ ments” cater almost exclusively to vegetarians so that a meat eater feels out of place in them.

An unsophisticated visitor to one of these "joints" might be surorised to find a large number of normal looking, healthy appearing women and men, some of them in fact ex-meat eaters, mixed with the obvious "nuts and "berr ies".

(c ) 1979 by Jim Frederick Gem Box 2392 Fayetteville, Ark. 72701 79

Tht- 81 Lunar_Ca londar "dedicated to the Goddess in Her many guises"

by Nancy °assmore and Joan Anderson Published by Luna °ress (Box 511 , Kenmore 8ta . , Boston, MA >221 a) at $o.25 postpaid.

IB o o k

Reviews

The Fifth Annual Lunar Calendar, 1981 edition, is now available. The format has changed this year, which will no doubt disappoint some and delight others.

Instead of the large wall cal­ endar that used to hang beside our kitchen tables, enabling us to chart our bleery-eyed early -norning lunacy while waiting for the water to boil, we now have a books ize format (5-*" by 8^") that we can tuck into our purses and bags as we journey into the eighties.

Or, alternately (and with cashflow willing), we can buy several copies (2 for $12; 3 for $17.r-0; 10 for $35; 40«? discount for more than 10) and scatter them about our daily lives: one in the bedr o .m and one? in the kitchen, f ’sure; one for the altar or shr.ne; and certainly one each in the barn and .lotting shed would be tremendously helpful. For this year Luna °re?s has included articles on Mo in-gardening, Fertility, Astronomy, Astrology, and Time (how it has been politically manipulated bv patriarchy), as well as beautiful graphics and the enspiriting poetry and stories we've come to expect from these wonderful Women.

Pi nk T r 1 a no 1e s* 1 Edited by Pam Mitchell Published by Alyson Publications, Inc. (75 Knee1and Street, room 309, Boston, MA 02111) at $5.50 postpaid.

This book contains fourteen essays of radical perspectives on gay liberation.

Why the title "Pink Triangles"? "Today the Pink Triangle has been revised so that we don't forget our gay history or that the gay movement is part of a larger movement fur social liberation." The essay* are written by various activists involved in both left politics and gay liberation.

In subject matter, the essays are as diverse as the authors who write them. gay liberation tonics range from the use of cosmetics as an act of re­ volution to pernography, on to childhood sex­ uality and paedophilia, etc. Many prejudices, laws, and social customs are examined and ouestioned.

A central theme throughout the book is the essen­ tial relation gay liberation has to left politics.

Left politics is interpreted to include Marxism, gay/lesbian oppression, androgyny, and opposition to the patriarchy. The severe oppression that's inflicted by the capitalistic system on gays is not unique to us but reaches all working class people - often more subtly, sometimes quite blatantly. Consequently it is concluded that gays must work with all peoples for mutual bene­ fit. Personally thought provoking is the impress­ ion that by every act of remaining "in the closet" and patronizing the system, we further oppress ourselves and strengthen the system of inequity.

by Rocky of Running Water 80

For those not familiar with the use of this par­ ticular lunar calendar, learning to use it can be a bit tricky at first. Basically you read from right to left. Each lunation is laid out on a doublepage spread. The phases of the moon corresponding to the days of the solar year are shown visually on the righthand page. On the lefthand oage , in columns reading right to left, are the exact (EST) times of moonrise, moonset, and precisely when the moon enters each zodiacal sign. Also on this page is information about those Planets visible in the morning and evening twilight.

Each of the thirteen lunation is preceded by another dnubleoage sorcad that can he more con­ ventionally read. One page shows/tells us o m n what days and in what zodiacal sion each of the moon's four quarters falls, as well as remindino us which of the eight greater or lesser sabhats is occurring in that lunation. Ample space has been left on this page for making moon-notes.

The facing page contains a beautiful drawing of the plant or tree symbolizing that month and something of what it meant to our ancestors who followed the lunar year.

It is on these pages that one can begin to grasp the larger symbols behind the ceaseless flow of time and change.

The '81 Lunar Calendar "dedicated to the Goddess in Her many guises" is, indeed, an enchanting and indisoensible carrying companion for paaans and poets, 'aomen and witches, mothers and mid­ wives, farmers and feminists, lovers, lunatics, and healers.

- Dennis Melba'son

The Men With the Pink Triangle

by Heinz Heger Translated by David Fernback Published by Alyson Publications, Inc. (75 Kneeland St., room 309, Boston, MA 02111) at $5.70 postpaid.

The only thing that I didn't find satisfactory about the book was the section on sources of seed.

Most of the companies listed don't have more than one variety of soybeans and a few don’t carry any at all.

It is hard to find the rare varieties of edible soybeans, but T am doing some research in hopes that I'll net the needed information for the next copy of RFD.

"This book is a unique first-hand account of the life and death of homosexual prisoners in the Nazi consentration camps."

- Randy L. Sly

According to Heger the Nazis persecuted Queers with utmost brutality and hatred far beyond the horrendous punishment and torture that the Jews, Gypsies and other minorities endured and usually succumbed to.

It's most amazino that any human being could even exist through such treatment a few days or months, let alone six years as Heinz Heger didl

V is ion a iy Love : A Spirit Bo < f_Gav Mv ttology and Trans-mutat iona1_ Faori£

by Mitch Walker & Friends Published by Tree-roots Press (-R3* Folder 5t , Berkeley, CA 0471")) at $4 .» (plus 7 c* > per c:o>y). Distributed by Bo >k >, >1, 1 ' >* 1.

I discovered it very interesting that homosexual behavior pervaded the very ranks of the oppress­ ors, and was kept quiet and under cover.

Heger even observed a camp commander 'get off' on sev­ eral different occasions while watchino prisoners being whipped on the whipping horse.

A Capo (a prisoner with responsibility for a work detach­ ment) often had a favorite homosexual partner who serviced him and in turn received protection.

And, on up the chain of command this service for gays prevailed.

Only by using these means was Heinz able to live through terrifyino life and death situations.

There is a growing awareness a -'no 1arge nu-1i r of Gay men that the time has come to m>ve out from the incredible- 1i fi--diving lessons learned from our sister L* si ians and fern, rusts and begin to shape our own culture. W* car s« • our awaken­ ing consciousre-ss fuming in national and region­ al Fairy Gatherings all over the country, $om«times the quest for our mythic identity take . the shape of covens in the tradition of the Craft, Some-times ancient Celtic Druidic tradi­ tions, speak to our inner selves. Many of us are drawn to the Hebraic Kabbalistic tradition.

Still others of us seek our roots it the Coptic and Gnostic teachings of Je-us (which are not to be confused with Christianity).

Wo have ..ntb.ukC-d on a mythic journey that will take us to the center of our essential Gayness.

It's a book well worth reading. Could it ever happen again? Let's hope not'. In reflection, does the Moral Majority pose as great a threat for us in its 'Christian' crusade as Nazism once did???

- by Rocky of Running water

In Visionarv Love, Mitch walker t.ike - us ■>' a mythic iournev in the tradition of Gay shamanism as encountcre-d in nature-ce nte re d cultures the world over -H'rh.t >s those best known t > mos ’ >f us are the Native Ame rican be rdarhe and winkte .

But Mitch draws his symbols from a wide range of human cultures, seeking in e ach f r the arc* c typal Gay male image - the. faggot warrior, the fairy.

It is not an easy journey Mitch takes us on. Mythic journeys never are , for they take us past the encrustations of individual egos and into the core of Be-ing. For Gay people this means stripping away from our Selve - all therole models and ways of thinking that have been conditioned in us by a heterosexist socittv.

The Soybean Book

by Phyllis Hobson Published by Garden Way Publishing (Charlotte, Vermont 05445)at $5.95 1 >e Soybean Book is a very helpful and inform­ ative book about soybeans.

It covers a wide range of soybean information from growing to using nature's miracle protein.

*1 As we depart straight realms our thoughts, languages, lifestyles, environments will all change. periods of confusion and dis­ orientation are inevitable. But ke e.r> in mind that, as a gay person, the? trio from straight to gav is a healing journey, a journey to wholeness, to health. The trav­ eller must abandon the perversions, corrup­ tions, cancers gained in Straight life .

The prison walls of straight space, strainh* time will crumble . There are multitudes <v dimensions, realities and be inns ’" • ence, and much mav see-" ur be lie vably or even terribly fantastic at first."

The book has all the facts that you will need to know - how to grow, harvest and store soybeans, plus how to save seed for next years crop.

Also, included are different ways to process your soy­ beans, in addition to pages of recipes for soy­ bean products.

It has a section on growing soybeans for animal feed and recipes for making homemade dog and cat food.

It also gives information about how to use soybeans for soil improvement.

It's a book well worth reading, it has 167 pages packed with helpful information.

HI

Mitch si'cs "gayness a s very much a part of, caused by, leading into and through this Chang­ ing.

I see gayness as a door, a source, a Spirit, a lover, a teacher, or rather as sourc­ ing, enspir i ting, loving, teaching.

It s p i r i t s me away somewhere magickal, strange, profound...

I feel ecstasy, wonder, delight.

I feel SPIRIT," With tremendous courage Mitch opens up to us his ecstasy, wonder, delight - his spirit, his vis­ ions. He asks not that wc follow, but that we join him in the task of building "fairy mythol­ ogies - gay ways of thinking and doing - to realize and protect our loving soulful brother­ hood, to reclaim our Selves, re-create our cul­ ture', regain our heritage, rc-member our fates as beings of Spirit, wisdom, power, compassion, truthfulness, light."

Mitch sees Gay people as being at the forefront of the New Age. On a species level, Gay people are the quickest to grasp the archetypal image of wholeness and unity - the Androgyne. As Mitch says in his book Men Loving M e n , "This is a great gift and a burden, because with it comes a responsibility to help ourselves and humanity become more whole and harmonious," And in the unfolding of this task Mitch wisely recognizes that "there can be no such thing as gay leaders or hierarchs, only sharers, only inspirers; so likewise there can be no followers, no armchair or vicarious gay travellers.

For gay evolution to be successful, it must come from and haooen in each of our own livino Selves, authentically."

Throughout Visionary Love, proceeds from which will be used to further gay-spirit and feminist projects, Mitch speaks primarily toGa<’ men.

As he. says in his Introduction: "I think being a lesbian is radically different from beino a gay man, although I feel our visions are very close.

So this is why 1 w on’t speak about or for women, because it's not my place, though I know many lesbians will see their visions in our eyes too.

I welcome them to share my writings.

I hope that some day we will build powerful alliances toge ther."

As I said before, the journey described in Visionary Love is not an easy one.

It is often deliberately obscure and, for me, unnecessarily mystified.

My first stumbling blocks were the names Mitch gave to concepts that defy linear 1anguage.

I found the problem of naming to be quite perplexing.

I puzzled over it and medita­ ted on it for quite a while. Over a ocriod of weeks, I became totally immersed in this quest, ignoring my other obligations and worries.

I wrote to other gay people f«r suggestions, and stent hours makino up al ­ ternate words. However, nothinn was satis­ factory, and I sensed that the answer was beyond my intellectual grasp."

Rut. in the tradition of nature cultures, where parents bring their children to the Gay shaman to be named, Mitch continues to search for a symbol of sounds or letters that will help him get a conceptual grasp on his feelings. Even­ tually ROIKA came to him as a sound-symbol, a na:ne‘ by which to evoke the Gay spirit-force that is at the heart of his mythic journey.

And it was around in here that I began to get lost, for short upon ROIKA came LOKA and YAN. I think, after three readings, that LOKA stands for the Primal Child within us, that trueself we were before mama, papa, and teachers began to define for us a folseself system, "the things wt call personality and identity." And YAN, I think, stands for the doorway - sometimes cal­ led the Rainbow Bridge - to the mystic oneness of the Androgyne.

It is through our sexuality, as I understand it, that we explore the pathway of YAN. Mitch calls it "cock-energy" and de­ scribes men on this path as "faggot warriors" whose aim is "nothing less than the transfor­ mation of reality."

So you can see that we're dealing with heady stuff in this book called V is ionary Love. Mitch is asking nothing less of us than that we blast ourselves out of conditioned ways of thinking/ acting/being and join him in becoming faggot warriors on the journey through LOKA and YAN to ROIKA. Mitch's path is not everyone's path. He knows that well. And I urge anyone reading this article to get a copy of Visionary Love and ex­ plore Mitch's oath. His visions are rich with insights and meanings that we all can learn from. Mitch is a Gay shaman, and as such de­ serves our honor, our respect, and our gratitude for revealing to us his own trueself.

The opening section of the book, written over the Spring Equinox of 1)76 and first published in the Winter of 1976-77 issue of Gay Sunshine, is called "Visionary Love: The Magickal Gay S p i r i t - P o w e r I n it Mitch attempts to set our growing Gay consciousness against a historical background of the Gay Liberation Movement postStonewall. He describes how alienated many of us have become with what he calls the Homophile Movement for Equal Rights, the "gay Normals" who would have us conform to the heterosexist sur­ face values of "social norm, success, integra­ tion, acceptance, assimilation." I especially recommend Mitch's passages in this first section on the Myth of the Homosexual and Gay Personali­ ty Development in Western Society.

It is here that his concept of the falseself and how it grows on us is most succinct and least mystified.

For me the serious flaw in Visionary Love is Mitch's shaky grasp of how political realities shape our visions. He states early on that "we must bring our vision to birth, where its powers can act and grow in the world.

We roust develop it in a body of anylysis and action, so it can take root in the soil of daily reality and gen­ erate a new liberation." It is here, in his analysis of "the soil of daily reality," that I feel Mitch fails. He dismisses the contributions Gay Marxists have made to our collective visions, for example, by saying that "An economic analy­ sis of gay oppression is absurd... The origin of anti-gayness is not to be found in economics."

I profoundly disagree. The origins of antigayness are manifold and complex. And I think it is a mistake to ignore the fact that in a patriarchy - whether capitalist, socialist, or communist, whether Judeo-Christian, Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Shintq, or atheist - Gay people are oppressed becuase we are not, on the whole, breeders, producers of nuclear consuming units or cannonfodder.

beliefs, undermining their mythic foundations."

Quite simply and bluntly, this is a misreoresentation of historical fact.

Indeed, what bothers me most about Visionary Love is Mitch's lack of, or at least failure to display, an understanding of W s t e r n history either culturally, politically, or anthropolo­ gically. Mitch's statement that "Modern western society is dominated by a spirit-being variously called the Senex (the Old Man) or Saturn (the Old Father)" strikes me as naive at best, fool­ ish at worst. Mitch describes the qualities of the Senex as

Two things disturb me in this passage. Mitch writes as though patriarchy came to dominate western civilization within the Christian era.

This is not true.

Beginning in the early 1920s with Margaret Murray (The Witch-Cult in ’testern Europe) and Helen Dinar (Mothers and Amazons), feminist historians have g o m to great lengths to research the rise of patriarchy and trace the historical processes by which males came to seize total power.

In recent years Elizabeth Gould Davis (The First Sex), Evelyn Reed (Woman’s Evolution), Esther Harding (Woman’s Mvstcrii s ) , and Merlin Stone (K’h e n God ’7as a_ Won a n ) have carried this research further, so that bv now wc can begin to grasp some understanding of 'Western anthropology and how our culture has been(and continues to be) politically manipulated by the men in power.

It seems to me that Mitch need­ lessly mystifies our reality. Perhaps I'm lazy.

But I find it easier (though of course not at all "easy") to root out of myself known-knowabIt histor ical/cul tural inhibitions on my f u - m o than to struggle with amorphous, out -there somewhere spirit'beings called Senex or Saturn.

lifelessness, intellectual knowledge, order, abstract justice, regimentation, and tht grey pall of senility.

Anxiety, depression, boredom and frustration are some of the experiences of people living in his domain.

He's opposed to anything connected with life-forces: plants and animals, eroticism, birth, growth, creativity and change in general.

Yet this spirit-being is com­ passionate towards those who are loyal to him.

The senex's love of regimentation and order result in strict hierarchial systems based on father-figures, with sexist rules and taboos. His truth of death-in-life and his intellectual system of knowledge op­ pose all other spirit beings, ways of life, and systems of knowledge.

He seeks the destruction of social myth systems that don't exalt him, and the destruction of myths and spirit-values within his mythic system that aren't manifestations of his essence. Thus, a society oriented around the Senex devotes itself to the elimination of other societies, and to the repression „ .

- V of all non-Senex values in its own people.

And the other thing that bothers me in this passage is its subtle ageism, the implication that "old" is somehow not-good.

I'm sure this was not Mitch's intent, but I feel it nonethe­ less.

I am 48, so perhaps my stepped-on toes are overly sensitive to this issue. Rut again I think that Mitch's analysis of "the soil of daily reality" is faulty. Daily reality for most of us is that under-18 and over-h> need not apply. Notwithstanding our symbolic figure­ heads - presidents, premiers, prime ministers, kings, mul lahs , ayatollahs, popes cardinals, and gurus - the patriarch in most of our daily lives (the boss, landloard, banker, cop, politician, preacher) is usually middle-class, usually whitt, usually male, and almost invariably roiddl* -aged.

Patriarchy uses ageism lik* tht cliched doubleedged sword, cutting out both old and young.

Mitch seems here to hone one edge of the ageist sword while in no way blunting the other.

This sounds to me like a perfect description of' Yahweh/Jehovah, not Senex/Saturn, for what Mitch is describing is the forced imposition of a patriarchal tribal god onto the culturla val­ ues of an entire civilization.

It seems to me dangerous and self-defeating to put cultural values - "good," "bad," etc. - onto spiritforces.

It was patriarchy, latterly in the guise of Jedeo-Chr is tiani ty , that has been tht; destructive force in Western history, not "spir­ it-beings" representing the Old Man or the Old Father, both archetypal images that are not in­ trinsically evil or destructive.

For anyone interested in getting to the center of Gay consciousness, a careful reading of Mitch's passages on Fear and Crazv Faggots in the second section, "Becoming Gay Shamanism” (written over Winter Solstice, 19/f), is in order. Too many of us are caught up in the clone image, terrified of any Gay man who isn't instantly identifiable by word, deed, and ges­ ture as a M-A-N. Witness the roacho/sissy con­ troversy that raged in the pages of RFD all through 1978-79.

(‘l l s g y BUTCH

Further, Mitch claims that Western society came under the domination of "Senex" through two major factors, the second of which he forgets to mention. The first, according to Mitch, is humanitarianism, which he traces from St. Fran­ cis of Asissi through such Enlightenment writers as Rousseau and Voltaire on down to unnamed modern humanists and liberal religious thinkers.

Mitch further states that "humanitarianism has been concerned with justice and mercy for the individual. Therefore it has tended to oppose collective political, social, and religious

It is in this second section that Mitch attempts to describe the nitty-arittv spiritual work in­ volved in a Gay vision quest. Bear in mind whil< reading this section that Mitch says ROIKA is "a” name for the Gay spir i t-force - not th < naro,. .

This is a crucial distinction. Mitch is not saying that he has received the Final Vision, 83

and neither does ho claim to be revealing the Ultimate Word. Mitch Walker is a searinaly ho­ nest l.;ry, with himself and with us. Perhaps it is necessary for each visionary to name his spirit-forces. Madame Blatavsky, Aleister Crowlev, Alexandra navid-Neel, Jane Roberts - each have named the spirit-forces that speak to/thru them. Mitch's ROIKA may not speak to you. As the I_ China says, "No blame," Seek your own visions. Find your own forces.

Name your own names.

Ages through translations from Arabic and Hebrew scholars who preserved this work while the Cath­ olic Church was busy destroying it. And to equate this historical inaccuracy with the in­ fluence of Afro-Americans on U.S. culture strikes me somehow, in a way I cannot easily define, as racist. This bothers me a lot be­ cause I know in my heart that Mitch Walker is not racis t.

It seems to me that in this passage, Mitch is perpetuating the light/dark color dualism that has been a trademark of Western culture from the days of Persia's Zoroaster (Ahura Mazda vs.

Ahriman in 600 B.C.) on down to America's Ku Klux Klan (white vs_. black in 1930). And why, I wonder, does Mitch define the color black in terms of the witch -hunters rather than the witches, who saw the color in very different terms ?

The most troubling passage in all of Visionary Love for me falls in this second section.

Mitch calls it The Black Faggot Maoickal Wand, by which he means, if I understand him correctly, our cock. Mitch writes: "in her "Notes on 'Camp'” Susan Sontag says "the two pioneering forces of modern sensi­ bility are Jewish moral seriousness and homosexual aestheticism and irony"... But Su an ignores the imoort/meaning of black culture.

Seemingly unbeknownst to her, there's a hidden and subversive unity of "homosexual" and black culture, a sinuous, sexual, cock-rigid, snake-sliding, holeseeking, underground flow. The snake in the Garden of Eden was a black fag.

What Mitch is talking about in this oassaqe is sexua 1 ity . Period. To put a color symbolism on it only confuses the issue. Mitch romanti­ cizes the color black in a wav that seems to me limiting, alienating to blacks and whites alike.

I'm not black, so how could I ever partake of this magicka 1 sexuality?

Indeed, not all blacks are black.

I wonder how a 1 ight-skinned black would react to this passage? Or a black Latino?

Or an Asian? Or a Native American?

In this one instance I do not hesitate to say that Mitch’s way is not The Way. I think Mitch is wrong here, and I hope he hears my criticism with all the love and compassion that I offer it.

This holy sensuality is akin to that of all nature peoples, and not just the ancestors of Afro-Americans.

But black people in the U.S. have been extremely influential in carrying this nature-energy, having taken on a role similar to that of the Catholic Church in the European Middle Aoes. The Church, you'll recall, saved much of the intellectual work and history of Greece and Rome for the sake of the European cul­ tural rebirth called humanist scholasticism, or later, the Renaissance.

In the sane way black jive/juice/conl/jazz/strength brings us the power/wisdom of African high culture.

My favorite paragraph in the second section "Tp. is: "All faggots are feminists, and militant ones at that. To cultivate your woman-energy, your femin­ ism, is to increase your ability to see and walk thru the great portal.

In fact it's essential".

In the passage called MA'LOKA Mitch explores what he calls "cock-consciousness". For those of us who are into goddess-wor­ ship, this passage is very holt>ful. Mitch calls his goddess figure the Lady of the White Rose whose essence

'well, this black juice turns out to be the fag sap in the ROIKA tree (the Tree of Knowledoe in the Garden of Eden). The holy snake talking to Eve is a spirit-being, a personification of black faggot magick.

And by b lack I mean here that special color, the opposite of white, the tone of deeoest night, called dark Satan prince of sabbats

by European witch-hunters'

''cones from matter, and in fact never leaves it. Her love doesn't separate the "spiri­ tual" from the "material" but carrits the seeker to the Spirit in materiality. Thus her love is of the body, is sexual in fact.

We see this in so many Woman-Spirits such as Shakti, Isis and Aphrodite, Goddess of Fucking.

In ancient Babylonia, for example, Ishtar's temples were holy brothels where her female and male representatives, the c. nsocra ted ones , brought her ecstatic Gift by screwing the eager worshippers.

Many animals such as the fast-fucking doves, the large-horned cows and goats, the cock-like snakes and prolific rabbits are all holy to the Lady of the '-bite Rose.

The Lady’s sexuality is the rhythm of the uni ver se.

I find this passage dee »ly disturbing.

First of all, it was not the Catholic Church that "saved much of the intellectual work and history of Greece and Rome." Mitch writes as though Hypatia and the Library of Alexandria, both of which were cruelly destroyed by Church fanatics, never ex­ isted.

It is documented historical fact that the intellectual work - the history, science, philosoohy, medicine, drama, poetrv, etc. - of Greece and Rome came into the European Middle •14

H eart Centered Consciousness bij Hranklin Abbott

For no the richest passages in Visionary Love are in the Final s ec t ion , Trans —m u ta t iona 1 Faerie," written over the 1979 Fall Lou inox af­ ter last year's Spiritual Conference for Radical Fairies in Arizona.

(A 180-minute tape of Mitch L'alker reading this section is available from Raven's Head Communications, Box 11472, San Francisco, CA 94101.

Write for details.) T!is section begs t"1 be read aloud, and I would urno all Gay covens and Fairy Circles who encounter this book to gather together and do so.

In i t , with a clarity often lacking in earlier sections, Mitch sets forth his vision of Gay peml. as evolutionary Beings. Quoting Harry Hay, Mitch asks us to "throw off the filthy green frog­ skin of Hetero-imitation and discover the lovely Gay-Conscious notMAN shining underneath."

Love can be an idea, "What life would be like if someone loved me, if we all loved each other." l.ove as an idea can provide thi basis for reform and revolution.

It can give form to relation­ ship. As an idea Love can also be ouestinned to account for the suffering. The disappointments just come in its wake. Things never quite fol­ low their thinking out. Tire idea of a lover, the idea of benevolence are almost always sepa­ rate from the experience of those notions.

Love can be an action: making love, charitv, lib­ eration from tyranny. The act follows the idea imperfectly, with consequence. This love can be charted in time and space.

It has quantity, duration, weight.

It begins, stays, and is over. There is with it foreshadowing and afterniath .

In a very real sense, Mitch is asking us to die - die to the Androcratic patriarchal culture around us and focus our collective will on re­ generation and rebirth in ways that "do not oppose destruction and dissolution, but under­ stand them as natural events in the Great Spiral Dance...aware that death and birth are Perfectly linked, that the ultimate fruit of all labor is creation." with a beginning quote from Andrea Dworkin's WomanHating, Mitch reveals the per -

Love can be consciousness, a way of se* ino, a still place from which a dance may emanate.

It is nothing in advance and is only as it i like a well-made fire burned down, no charred wood is left, only the finest ashes.

s o n a l / p o l i t i c a 1 / e c o l o g i c a l / m y t h i e task b efore us:

"The commitment to endino male dominance as the fundamental psychological, politi­ cal and cultural reality of earth-lived life is the fundamental revolutionary commitment." The commitment of a gay man to ending male dominance wi thin himself is a great and magickal Night journey of sharoanistic trial and transmutation, a com­ plete and thorough self-a 1 teration, a great and living Round in growing, glowing consciousness, a double-helixed, evolution­ al Self dancing.

These essays are autobiographical, a description of one Gay shaman's mythic healing journey "from straight western civilization to new, gay plac­ es, an exploration in thought, being, time and space." Mitch's words "make no claim to per­ fection, gospel or authority." For him "the outer forms of the writing are not as important as the inner spirit," and he asks that we re­ ceive his words "with the same love and care in which they came to me." It would be disrespect­ ful for us to do less that honor his request.

V is iona ry Love is an imoo r tan t book , a beg inning step on the path to Gay awakening. Buv it .

Read it. Grow with it. Change yourselves.

Remember: too much is not enuff. written by Dennis Melba'son with love, support and criti­ cism from Stacy Brother 1over, Aurora Corona, and Clover Change. October, 1980.

A

Hdeditati

Find a quiet comfortable plact t < be alnm .

Place both hands palms down over your heart.

On vour chest feel the warmth of your hands, in your palms sense the ‘ brat of your heart.

Allow this to intensify over a few minut. ,, the warmth and rhythm spreading out lik* a golden elixir relaxing your body, soothing your mind, forming around you a circle of 1 ight that warms and protects. Begin focusing your breath­ ing on your heart, feeling vour heart expand as you inhale and as you exhale feel you breath streaming out of your heart space. Breathing in and out, filling and overflowing, the feeling in your heartspace increasing in intensity. Now focus your awareness on someone you love, on a need of your own, on the planet beneath you, on a hard place in your life.

In that direction focus your overflowing, outgoing energy as a way of sending love without expectation of what that love will do.

The meditation can be ended by refocusing aware­ ness on breathing in and out of the heartsonce.

It can be practiced between tw > people who after completing the first phase then place left hands palms down over each other's heart and focus on the circulation of love energy between them.

It can be oracticed in a group of People who after the first phase join hands in a circl< allowing the e n e m y to come in through their left hands and be passed on through their right hands making amongst them a mandala of loving energy .

As the meditation is practiced, its effects will grow stronger and more immediate, more spontaneous and paradoxical.

It intimates a way of loving outside of cause and effect.

It is a direction given not to be mistaken with the path it points to.

85

Retrospective

by Rpn Lambe In going back over the back issues which I had not seen before, it occurred to me that it might be helpful to others as well as to myself if the data regarding each issue were organized for quick reference.

It affords an interesting overview of the past six years of RFP, and it should be especially helpful for those orderino back issues.

In spite of many problems and ad­ versities, somehow RFD has managed to produce four issues a year for the oast six years.

It is quite a testimony t > those dedicated indi­ viduals and collectives wh » have struggled and sacrif iced so much t > keen RFD alive It means n gre. t deal to many. <«jte now have some' of all the back issues EJCEPT numbers 1, 2 , 4 & 24.

These are' $1 each.

No. Date> Theme 1 FI 74

2 '■'r 74

Where produced "Title” Mai n articles Iowa "Rustic Fairy Dreams" Stevens McClave Deadly Nightshade (Young) Hop Brook Commune A Rejection (MEN) (Troxler) Coming Home (Whitman) Old Farmer Full Circle (Meager)

5 FI

26

E 1wha 4 -t "Reckless Fruit Delight" Elwa (Faygeic) Orchard (Carl) NE Men's Gathering (Richard) Forest Folk (Olaf) When we'r< Snowed in (Billie) Gay Tarot (Carl) Gay Men & Children (Richard) Road to Malcom (Stewart) Iowa 48 "Really Feeling Divine" NW North Carolina (Dalton) City Country (Mintz) Two Tales of New Sodom (Jay) *>'histlers on the Wind (Ollie) At the Pass (Carl)

4 sm 73 Dance

North Carolina 44 "Rabbits, Faggots and D r a g o n f l i e s " Language of Flowers (Beckwith) Ga\ Green Thumbs (Todd/Alien) Loomis (Milo) Summer Came as a Surprise That Year Dance Liberation (Dobson) (Jacoh) Loving Dance (Carl) Paper Cuttinn (Mark) Goats (Beale) Radiant Fungus Declaration (Milo)

Elwha 44 "RavingFlamer's Diary" Sexual Tension (staff) A River, of a River Only Connect (Jerry) NW Faggots' Gathering (Camas) Shit (Car 1 ) Who are the Gays (Loving Companions)

6 Iowa 48 wr 75 "Red Fire Dangers" Children A Look at the Collective Kitchen Alternative to Alienation (Bill) Commune Odyssey (Willy) Kids are Those Little People You Belong With (Ollie) Ivy Blues (Willy) Pongley & Ollio (Heiman) Fairy Fables (Kim) Faggots and Children (Mark) The Cook's and the Bouchard's (Allen) Some Experience with Children (Maya)

Pages

3 Sp 73

75

7 Sp 76

Butterworth 44 "Rhododendron, Forsythia, Daffodils" Gardening with the Fairies To a Country Soul from City Soul As the Butter Churns (Ron) Notes from a Gay Landscape Architect Rutabaga House (Carl) (Carl) Recipe for a Small Cabin (Bob) Walden Pond (Michael)

8 Sm 76

Wolf Creek 40 "Raspberries, Fresh & Delicious" Golden Conversation Just another Story i suppose Lesbian Mother Witch Hunt Strictly Taboo (Sean) Buying Land is Easier Than You Think Scarlet's Ribbon (Joe) (Kent)

9 FI 76

Wolf Creek 48 "Remembering Forgotten Dreams" Letters from the Forest (Whitman) Candor's Ritual (Smoothstone) A Home on Wheels (Wilson) You Were the Straightest One in Your Class (Stewart & Schofield) Range Boiler for Hot Water at Home Buying Land is Harder (Peter) Than you Think (Newby)

10

Wolf Creek 48 "Raven Fleeing Darkness" Goat Dairy (Ted) Toad Suck Farm (Morton) Moon Over Miami (Lowe) A Critique of the Conference It Just Happened One Day (Len)

76

86

11

wolf Creek 48 "Rotary Fluff Dryers" sp 77 Mechanics Difficulty at the Begining (Webb) The Sled (Paris) Machine (Faygele ) Human Machination (Jim) Wolf Creek 56 "Religious Fanatics Descend" Sin 77 When the Sun Stands Still (Hermsen) Spiritu­ Wholeness (Steczynski ) ality iye Circle Around (Jada ) Peyote Spirit (Mariposa) Politics and Faggot Spirituality Faggot Shaman (S. Abbott) (Zowie ) Sharing the Mysteries (Caradoc ) Spiritual Soapbox Clarity of St. Therese (Chenille) Weather (Fox) Healing with Herbs (Littlebear) Ass-whole (Dickmeyer)

19 Sp 79

Atlanta ° (no title) A Boy's Trees (Penrose) Tanker Riding Low (Smyth) Slow Dancing to Amazing Grace (Frost)

20 Sm 79

Tennessee 20 "Roaring Fresh Decisions" June Boyd: A Black Strong Woman wild Fruits from Coast to Coast Country Antique Dealings (Milo) Victorian Queens (Greenwell) (Berube ) Nuclear Realities - Part T (Fire) Gay Awareness & The First Americans (Harry & John) Why was Heaven Built so Far Away (Frost )

12

13 FI 77 Ageism

21 Butterworth 56 FI 79 "Rightfully Feeling Delirious" New Eng. Woodstock NY - a Remembrance (Tuck, r ) Condos for Queens (Lino* i ) Our Hired Man (Penrose) In Southern Vermont: Steamt awn Steam The Andrews Inn Rural Free Development: A Real Freak's Desire (Rurr) Forging Communities in So. Vt. Richie 8. Ellen & Grant «. Susie Organizing Compcsinos in So. Texas

wolf Creek 48 "Recruiting Feminist Drakes Fran - Observations at 50 A Story for Paul (Wilson) Dowsing for Water (Berube) Coming Out as an Old Man (Dan) Forrest Anderson (Lowe) Finding Wombats in My Mind (Quentin) A Touch of Age (Fernandes)

(Coreno )

14 Wr 77

San Francisco (no title) all photos and graphics

15 SP 78 Smal 1 Towns

Wolf Creek 56 (no title) Looking for wolfcreek (Fernandes) Small Towns Klamath Falls - Why I left (Candor) Klamath Falls - Why I Stay (Pastega) Defiance (Walker) Dr. Jeckel & Miss Hyde (Mitchell)

16 Sm 78 Women

Wolf Creek (no title) Sisters (Podas) Sissy-phus Tale (Segal) Westward Storm (Lewis) Woman on the Edge of Time (Candor) Double J: The Joy of Sisters Sissy/Butch Forum (Phillips)

17 FI 78 Southeast

North Carolina 12 "Ramblings From Dixie" Aloe Community (Ron) Twin Oaks (F) H a y e s v i lie/Other Places (Troxler) Southern Celebrations

18 Wr

New Orleans 22 "Revolutionary Faggots Desire "Ripe Fruit Delta” Tsusiat Point (Jugram) Sissie What to do Until IBM Goes Broke How to Make Baskets (Czyinski) Out of Baling Twine (Enalebert) Lunar 79 Calendar (Luna Press)

78

56 22 New Orleans Wr 79 "The Returning Forest Darlings" SpirituIowa Farmboy (Frey) al Conf. Country Survival by Mail Order Retailing (Bach) Chain-Chain-Chainsaw (Milo) The Fairies Gather: Desert Circle (Roscoe) Fairy Spirituality (Sheriff) Army of Lovers (Page) A Drama of Fairv Politics (Liner) Subject to subiect (Hay) Ritual Notes from the Gathtrino of Radical Fairits (Moon) A Re-membering (Cohen) A Resort of the Gathering (Frurip) Shaman Story (Sheriff) Backwoods B oyhoog (Long) You are What You Eat Fanfare (Hamilton) 23 Sp 80 Fathers

Atlanta 82 (no title) Sweet Anarchy (Sadananda) A Parable (Plato) An Open Letter to the SE Network Research on Daddy (Abbott )(Cough ) Oh Master (Harvey) Notes from Hermit Hollow (John) Bee Keeping The 1980 Elections: A Place for US A Resource Guide to Under(Milo) standing & Combatting the Corp.

Food Chain (Gross)

continued on inside back cover 87

W sion Circle T ru st J \ % p o r t f o r t\d D Many of those at the Colorado Fairy Gathering attended the Land Trust Community Circle.

(Those four words work in any combination! ) One of the projects coming out of that Circle is the Gay Vision Circle: A Gay Community Land Trust.

In the months since the gathering much talk, work and awareness has been generated through individuals and the networks about the Vision Circle Land Trust. Here's an update on it as of the end of November 19BQ.

The Gay Vis ion Circle is the heart of the dance and will be the center from which our collec­ tive work and giggles will radiate.

Probably having somewhat of the feel of the Arizona and Colorado "Spiritual Gatherings for Radical Fairies", it will be an annual In-Gathering of our people - a chance for sharing in the work and play of Gay Spirit and making those insights, explorings, and knowings more available among our brothers.

The second draft of the Articles of Incorpora­ tion and By-laws for the Vision Circle: A Gav Community Land Trust has been completed. >0e feel that we're getting close to a final docu­ ment but that a third draft will probably be necessary to achieve the clarity of word and vision that we are all collectively reaching toward.

The Circle of Residents will facilitate the day to day functioning of the permanent Land Trust Community.

It's composed of residents who con­ sider the community as their home and who have a deeoly-felt commitment to its on-going growth and development.

The Circle of Trustees will fulfil specific le­ gal functions for all of us; interfacing formal­ ly with the man's world.

In the process, it serves as an outer circle of protection, helping to safeguard the secure space which is needed for many aspects of the work we will be exDloring .

If you haven’t had t o > much experience working with documents like these, remember that the Articles of Incorporation are desioned to state the general purposes of the corporation; and, the By-laws are designed to state the specified methods by which the corporation will conduct its business and provide general accountability.

Much of the format and wording are "boiler plate" dictated by law; others are of our own choosing. Hopefully you'll be able to detect which is wh ich.

At ter the Articles and By-laws feel good there are two things we will have to do with them; fi_£s_t, file them with the State of California registering us as a non-profit corporation (usually an easy trip if you've prepared the documents well); second, apply to the Federal Internal Revenue Service for Section 501 (c )3 taxexerapt status as a non-profit, charitable organization. u>e're in the process of getting a first draft of this application together the steps become more subtle since we're an openly gay organization, and other land trust groups report that the IRS has hassled them in their applications since the land trust conceot is a new one that doesn't fit into their cate­ gory systems.

Already mailings qo out to over 400 of us and the uses of your support grow broader.

If you'd like a copy of the Articles and By­ laws, second draft, please send 75C in stamps to: The Gay Vision Circle: A Gay Community Land Trust, 5343 La Crests Court, Los Angeles, CA 90O3H, (213) 409-7949.

If there is anything that seems weird to you or if you have any ad ­ ditions, deletions, etc. that you'd like to feed into the process, send them to us in Los Angeles.

The core Circle which is in the orocess of getting itself together, will be gather­ ing during the Winter Solstice in southern Ore­ gon to trv to finalize these documents.

Accord­ ingly, any comments, changes, additions, etc. you would like to make should be sent to us soon.

Discussions among the Core Circle have Dointed out an interest in holding workshops and circles on the land as well as a great annual gathering.

There is interest in convoking a gathering in southern Oregon next summer.

Another part of the work of the solstice gather­ ing in Oregon will be to scout the area and fol­ low up on the talks already begun about land there. We feel very strongly that grounding, very literally, is a growing and immediate ne­ cessity for the core circle who long to be re­ sidents and for the development of the vision circle at this point.

Each step in its time and at its pace. again peasants unite!

By way of our hearts...

Don, Sai, John, Harry, David, Mitch, Pat

The broad model that seems to be revealing it­ self is briefly described below. Rather than seeing the corporation in the traditional pyra­ midal, hierarchical "organization chart" way that's so much a part of straight male culture, we are suggesting that visualizing at least three concentric circles forming a whole as be­ ing more fruitful, for us...

8S

Born-

RFP prints "contact" letters free of charge (donations welcome, however) and with only spelling and punctuation corrections. Views and pre­ ferences expressed are those of the writers and not neces­ sarily that of RFP. When writing a contact letter, may we suggest that one state his affinities, interests and goals in positive terms rather than "no" this and "no" that.

Why offend a brother unwitting­ ly or unnecessarily? Also, brevity helps a lot. * I am a gay male, 24, into gardening, carpentry, being out-of-doors - in the country, good, conscientious worker in need of a situation utiliz­ ing my talents in a mutually beneficial relationship with another or others.

I'm look­ ing to expand existing skills through practical experience.

I will help you build your house, plant jour gardens and castle in the sky in exchange for a warm place to stay.

(I’m) basically vegetarian but on occasion will eat fish and foul - no tobacco - some­ time wine; homegrown; organics.

I move with the earth explor­ ing - torching via swimming, hiking, canoeing, cross coun­ try skiing, camping, the list cont inue s . .• (It is) important that people involved are responsible for themselves and supportive of indivual growth.

I am not in­ to any heavy spiritual/political trips and care not to gen­ erate my energies in these directions.

If you have need for an apprentice in anything relatinc. to the above mention­ ed, please share with me your feeli nos.

Dar ShaVin 35 5 Sea Bright Av e . Apt 2 Santa Cruz, CA 95060

Dear friends,

Dear R FD, There are several parcels of land near that property I have here in central Florida. Some of your readers might be inter­ ested in some of it.

It's off the beaten track, but not iso­ lated. Five minutes from 1-75 and a state forest; 50 minutes from Tampa to the south; 50 minutes east to Orlando (Disney World); 30 minutes north to Ocala and 45 minutes north to the University of FL at Gainesville.

Sells for $2K/ acr e .

Maybe too, some reader with a strong young back might be in­ terested in becoming a pardner/ share holder in developing mine. Something like commer­ cial farm or just a few thor­ oughbred cattle on all that grass.

Write for details: c/o Uncle Tom 11997 - 105th Ave. Largo, FL 33540

My name is Nachshon Lustig and I was born and raised in a kibbutz in Israel.

I came to San Francisco five years ago, primarily to be close to Paramahama Yoganda’s discioles, to study wholistic medicine and other subjects related to the New An- and to be close to gay Peooli Now I feel it is time for me to go back to th« country and oursui my study of herbs, flowers and nutrition.

I a seeking a worv ing-1 ivlnrj sit­ uation it' a farm or a ranch, preferably with oav o«ool. ( r < ven oik person), wher* I car bi of helo and find suoo.rtiv* atmosphere, for my study and o row th .

Do you know of any places mentioned above in C-lifornia (or other states) where I can contribute my help, energy and knowledge and friendship?

Thank you very much.

-i We are looking for a capable man who is willing to work on our mountain homestead in eastern Tennessee.

We will provide room and board - plus - for right person.

We are stable, 30's, hard-working and fun-loving. Tell us about your­ self and your experience.

Send detailed letter and recent photo to: D. Yoder - B. Christopher Rt 11 Box 94-A Greeneville, TN 37743

Sincerely, Nachshon Lustio 3600 2 1 st

San

St .

Francisco,

*

309

CA

Dear RFD Brothers Later this wintir and in the springtime, I would like to share my films with my faggot brothers.

I will also be traveling with an underground print of Jean Genet's film "Un Chant d'Amour".

I'd love to hear from other faggot art­ ists in any medium and from any circle which would like to screen these films Fairy lcve,

I FOUND MR RIGHT

39

04114

Feys^n Rt 1 Box 98A Liberty, TN 37095

Dear North Carolina RFDt.r ,

------- CONTACT LETT ER5 •— -

We are two gay men who have been discussing the possibili­ ty of buying property in the country together. We're in­ terested in starting a small biodynaroic farm somewhere in Northern California and pur­ sue our interest in growing food and in the joys of sim­ ple living.

Self sufficiency being a common goal , we want to keep expenses as minimal as possible.

In keeping with this, we hope to pay cash for the land and thus avoid being ripped-off by the monthly mortgage payment.

We both own homes in Modesto.

On the sale of these, we should have enough capital to buy the land outright and have enough money left to build a small, energy-effecient living space. After that, who knows. We're writ­ ing to see if maybe there is someone out there who has similar desires to ours and would be interested in dis­ cussing the possibility of pooling capital and resources.

If so, would very much like to hear from you. Also, would appreciate hearing from anyone who has thoughts on or experience in what we hope to d o .

More details and warmth can be easier conveyed in a per­ sonal letter to you. Hope to hear from you.

Sincere1y , Mike Matherly Charlie Young l 31 l Paradise Rd .

Modesto, CA 9 >3Si

GWM, would like to rap with ot her G W M . Vr ite : R. W* Dean 3800 S'*’ 102 Avt . Aot B206 Miami , FL 331 65 Thank you.

Robert '*’. Dean

As I mentioned in my contact letter (in #24), I am looking for a home in the country and someone to share it with.

Surely there are lots of gav men like me who want to live in the country but don't have ouitt enough caoital to get a decent olace.

I want t > team uo with one or more of them.

Western North Carolina would be ideal for me s Lnce mv "hone­ ful ly relocatable nursery" con­ sists of over a thousand young rhododendrons.

The rising cost of heating a greenhouse is driving many nursery men out of the Northeast to your area, where growing conditions for rhododendrons are ideal.

My plants are special, newly hy­ bridized varieties designed for, and ju^t now becomino available in, the Northeast and Southeast, where they are readily marketable. They re­ present my hope for a supple­ mentary retirement income. At tht very least, thev will grace my orooosed new home.

They will grow as far northeast as Boston or as far northwest as Southern Wisconsin; so ray preference for North Carolina is strong but open to discus­ sion.

drift of power into more and more centralized hands must be reversed. My book will show htxv this reversal is consonant with our history and with our thinking about that history, why such a reversal is neces­ sary, and how it can be ac­ complished .

What do I want in a housemate?

Not much.

If he can match my $25,000 we should be able to get an acceptable place.

I might be anle to get a handy­ man's special if my partner can only put up a secure fouryear lease as a tenant.

Needless to say, I do want someone who is notably respons­ ible in financial and other matters. Sexual and social compatibility are charming but quite unnecessary attributes in a housemate. One's sexual and social needs can always be met away from home. Since I want to spend a few hours writing every day and some time in my garden and my nur­ sery, I will orobably be too busy to be a one-man enter­ tainment committee.

Sincer ely, John J . Fox 666 Nor t h ’ Ter race Ave Mt . Vernon, NY 10552

S> Let me describe my intellectual interests a bit in case you know anybody who miaht be in­ terest id.

I have decrees from Harvard ard thi University of Chicago in government and eco­ nomics respectively.

I had strong minors in history and sociology and have rtad exten­ sively in psychology and an­ thropology. That whole back­ ground has now snanoed into focus, and I have a book buz­ zing in my head demanding to be written.

Ever since ray undergraduate days I have been a non-Marxist radical. Nowadays I think of myself as a radical democrat.

I see Watergate as a Consti­ tutional crisis in the history ot the republic which reflects a major spiritual crisis in the history of the people.

Successful resolution of those crises must involve the con­ struction of networks of vol­ untary comm uni tie’s with real economic power. The steady

Hello in there...

I am a gav young man living in the country, a Dreamer am I, one who lives in a Fantasy world.

I live with a very straight male, very oDDosite, very trying.

I am the young­ est professional meat cutter I know, and a damned good one, too.

I don't eat meat (beef, that is) (or fish, deer, duck, etc.) and am very healthy; my life is comfortable.

I work in my parents' shop. Both Michael and Jo keep me sane.

I am as old as I can be at nineteen, and will someday make someone a very nice com­ panion.

I love to cook, sew, work in the yard and cut wood, and after all the chores I love to "get high" in the woods and watch the sun set.

continued on next oage

continued from page 90 I live between the woods and the waves in my sunny little home.

If anyone lives in the Fort Bragg area or iri general northern California and would like to write me, just to say "hello", do itI'm looking forward to it.

Robert Prothero 24521 north Hwy 1 Cleone , CA 964 37

I'm looking for an RFD type living situation in Southeast­ ern US or California.

I’m an instructor now and could visit on some school breaks and dur­ ing summer vacation.

I'm cer­ tified to teach history, soc­ ial sciences at high school level; am now teaching compu­ ter science at a junior college.

I have been a vegetarian (more or less) for past 8 years - the less part is when I'm on the road, at friends, etc.; the more part is when I'm at home.

I don't smoke, drink or do any drugs.

I exercise regularly & have kept my 38 year old 6' 140 lb body in pretty good shape.

I do a full yoga rou­ tine twice a day (asanus, T M , TM-sidhis) but I'm not a Droslytizer nor a mood-maker ("Oh, wow, cosmic") nor an esoteric freak ("It's your dharma") nor a fatalist ("It's my karma").

Would like to hear from people in Southeast US & California and visit them this summer.

Drop a line or call: Rich Chorley 214 N. Hyland Ames, IA 5001 J (515) 292-9217

I have recently moved back to Connecticut after spending the past 2 years in Wisconsin.

I would very much like to become acquainted with gay men & wo­ men who share my interests & concerns. My interests include: Herbs - Their cultivation & use, exp. as regards "Folk-medicines."

Foraging - The what's & how to's of sharing the Goddess' bounty.

Shiatsu - its practice & use as a physical and psychological prophylactic.

Modern Paganism (Witch­ craft) - the celebration of Goddess in all her vari­ ous forms & temperments.

Androgeny/Effeminist issues.

My concern at this point in time are many. However, of priority, is the belief that the future will involve a cer­ tain amount of over t/covcrt social repression.

"Backlash" is already evident in many areas, notably women's rights & minority social concerns.

I do not feel there is a need to partake of the end-of-themillenia hysteria, which is becoming evident worldwide (its worst form being the commonly accepted belief in a global nuclear war); however, I think it will prove prudent for the gay community (male & female) to join with other oppressed groups in a "sub-cultural" network to provide each other with essential goods & services.

Such networks, often called barter systems, are already operating successfully in other parts of the country.

I would be interested in seeing the establishment of a New England­ wide or Northeast Region-wide system among gay brothers & sisters linking the urban and rural sections of gay-life into a self-supoorting system.

Should a period of severe social repression occur, it should be obvious that private (gay) bus inesses/ser vices ar.d small-scale support systems (food cooperatives, medical clinics, etc) will be the first to be effected. Their opera­ tion could be closely observed & hence tightly controlled.

However, a larger, more amor­ phous network could substitute for conventional business'" service enterprises & bv its very nature evade the stric­ tures of regulation.

Indeed, I’m proposing the conscious &

"underground” now - when such work can be easily done.

(An ounce of prevention, etc).

The system would be benevolent, beneficent & within the bounds of law.

It would sustain, materially & spiritually, gay existence during periods of social bounty, as well as social famine.

It would link urban and rural supply centres syrobiotica11y in a very tangi­ ble manner. The network would be founded uoon & guided by human need, not human politics.

Well, I have rambled long enough.

If you have read this far, please respond (pro or* con), as interaction is the foundation of synthesis.

I would be most delighted to hear from anyone who would care to respond to any part of this let ter .

Finally, to those who might care to know: I am 26, 5’6", b l o n d / h a l eyes, beard/mustacbe and a Taurus.

Affection & kindness to you all.

Dave Templeton 50 Shultas Place Hartford, CT 06114 PS: I would like to hear of any gatherings or convergences of radical fayres or practic­ ing pagans in the northeast during the coming months.

Thanks. Dave

Dear Ones, Lee Oris Spruell, New Colony, Rt 2 Box 3 »0A, Linden, TX 75563. May 7, 1948. Blond/ bearded, six foot, 165 lbs.

Live alone, in a small house I built myself, as the only single, gay member of an east Texas "new age" community.

Work as a house parent in a home for 24 deliquent boys.

Into reading, growing, know­ ing, organic gardening, building, theatre, alterna­ tive education, listening to music and just simply living.

Like all of us I (am) looking for someone to share the good life with; to grow with; to 1ove.

Thank you.

Lee Spruell

Dear Editor:

Jerry Vandermoss: Cancerian, moon in Virgo, ascendant - Sagittarian/ Capricorn. Consciousness raising via Himalayan Institute of Yoga Science and Phisophy Swami Rama; ear1y=part-time on BO acre farm, semi-vegitarian, interested in tree & vegetable farming, love animals, 35mm slide photography, contemporaryart, gay love in art, writing; Hope=a gay lover/partner achiev­ ing a satisfactory life-style and income, preferably in north east Wisconsin. My educational background was: BA Philosophy and Theology. Coming out pro­ cess 1968-1980.

Am attached to parental health and well­ being - thus preference for NE Wis .

Address: c/o 1059 Shadow Lane Green Bay, WI 54 304 Thank you.

Dear R F D e r s , I am a gay male, lover of country and city living.

I grew up in the country and while I have the concept that within the next few years I will decide to live in the country full time, I am now spending most of my time on Manhattan Island.

I would like to meet gay men who live in rural areas in the NY/NJ/Conn region and in Ont­ ario, Florida, Minnesota and Colorado; places my work takes me.

I enjoy sharing the out­ doors, hiking, camping, swim­ ming, evenings by the fire, doing chores, preparing meals, etc.

I do not smoke; I do weave.

I would like to hear from re­ sponsive country men, whether they would like to snare their country, my city, or both.

Bob Wolff 31 ) Riverside D r . *709 New York, NY 1002 5

A yt ar a m a fritnd passed along a cooy of your magaz:ni.

At that ton a job transftr made it necessary to leave NoCalif, and move to Palm Springs.

Belicvt me, this is also tempo­ rary'.

Dallas and I both yearn to get back to the country where we . both originally came from.

However, two things orevent that right now. One is the chronic ailment all such asoirant's face, money. The other is our hone that wc can increase our number and have more willing bands hefore we launch off on our dream oroject .

It is this second stumbling block that oromots this letter.

Hopefully, there art others out t ere who want what we want but it s hard to find them.

We both have a lot of exotrience and knowledge. We aren't idle dreamers who fail to re­ alize what getting back to the earth is all about.

I was raised on a working diversified farm in Conn, which provided the sole support for the en ­ tire family. Dallas grew up on the Russian River of No. Calif, His entire background is also totally farm oriented. '*'ithin the next year we will be moving to our own farm. The area is not yet firmly estab­ lished but right now wc lean toward the Pac:fic Northwest or one of the fortsted states cast of the Mississiooi.

Without going into a lot of detail I'll try to outline what we hone for, and where our heads are at.

We hope to create an extended family - a real brotherhood not just a loose group that floats in and out. We also home for isolation, but cer­ tainly realize that we- must be within reach of those things which are necessary to life.

Although we are certainly gay the door is not closed to wo­ men if they can fit into the group. We arc also not ooooscd to children. As a matter of fact, we really conceive oavness as a "dead-end" if one is thinking in terms of an on-qoinq group.

92

I smoke, Dallas doesn't. we both drink moderately.

In short we are not fanatics in any area. we can both live pretty well without meat - yet, we certainly eat it.

I'm just trying to make the point that we- are quite moderate in most things.

There are some things we are opposed to. Drugs, except per­ haps for the limited use of marijuana does concern us. So does a feal pressing need or abuse of alcohol. The oply other area I can think of where I have pretty firm feelings involve religion. Nature, the earth, the wind, the sun and the stars are far more likely to earn my worship than somedoctrine which stifles our humaness.

If anyone out there is interes­ ted in getting to know us bet­ ter, we would certainly welcome the chance to start some communica ti o n .

Sincerely, Edward Mazzarella 2733 Via Escuela Palm Springs, CA 92262

BEFORE YOU }®ET THE HANDSOi'E PRINCE

YOU ’VE GOT TO KISS A EOT OF TOADS

Hello, The Loving Brotherhood in Sussex, NJ 074 61, P O Box 5 56 has some members talking about an Intentional Community for Gays. They want men of all ages and hope to get 10 to 30 serious members wh--> would d o o I their resources and talents to become a selfsufficient grouo.

So far they have collected $190 and are continuing their search for a gay lawyer to help them in­ corporate.

If you have an interest in this, write: Karl Volk 4 .3 vtii11 ier B1 v d .

Poughkeepsie, NY 12603 o r , T.L.E .

Zodian historv as the Real World - not the norm in my other fantasies .

AN EPISTLE FROM A SEARCHER It was many factors that lead to the writing of this open letter - the last bit of prompting coming from Sadananda's article in issue #23 en­ tiled "Sweet Anarchy".

It could have been written by me.

Except I grew up Conservative Orthodox Jewish instead of Catholic. Even down to the Charlie Brown illusion.

Charlie Brown was my family, and self given nickname.

My way of dealing with all the "garb(age)" I was forced to dress in, was to retreat into very elaborate, overtly real­ istic fantasy worlds. By the time I was 12 I had nearly thirty very distinct fantasy worlds to escape to (or live in). Last count was 48 fan­ tasy worlds in total - I'm 26 now; we've come a long way together.

In these fantasies I could explore the world as well as every facet of my per­ sonality . I could fuck-up and just be me, without fear of retaliation or punishment at the abusive level (something I had to live with in "R al Life" ).

The first of these fantasy worlds to emerge, called for convenience sake, the "Zodian reality" or "Zodi", was and is the most important of all of them for me.

It developed out of a very early love of science, philosophy, sciencefiction, psychologv, metaphy­ sics and people (though I was a loner). By age ten, the Zodian reality was more real to me than my Real Life.

I won't go into the entire evolution of Zodi. The few facts worth noting are as fol­ lows. Like most children’s and adult's daydreams start, Zodi began with an image of an intergrated, super me. By the age of 13, this was no longer the case (in Zodi or any of the other 47 fantasy worlds).

I also keot the same name, family and pre-

But it was the basis of Zodi which has most influenced my beino. The founding of the Nation of Zodi was du* to the invention (by me) of a usable, control labl. substance which would aosorb any energy form, store it indefinitely, ard be a ilt to send it back out as any other tneroy form desirtd; making energy unlimited and chean.

And Zodi alone had it.

(Unfortunately, it also became the component oi an ultrapowerful weapon. But that helped to serve as a deterrent to outside interference; al­ lowing Zodi to develop along the 1ines it has).

With most of life's basic con­ cerns easily handled, a n d therefore deemphasize>d (due to an economic revolution, caused bv unlimited tmerov) the sciences, arts, etc. of Zodi flourished.

So did the people. And the government.

Actually, in direct relation­ ship to the or ow th of ot h* r areas of existence, oolit ics orew lesser and lesser; until it became almost nonexistent This took approximately 2b years, Zodi time; about 7 our time.

People worked, produced, play­ ed, invented, traded, social­ ized, etc. as they pleased.

They grew on all levels of being; and a New Society was truly developing.

What I didn't know was I had "discovered" Anarchy and SelfActualization without knowing what the hell thev were. For the voracious reader I an, I had never come across Abe Mas low and the Humanist Psy­ chologists (Freud and Juno held the most fascination for me when young), or Ursula K. LeGuin s "The Dispossessed" until 3 ytars aoo. And with­ in the same month! The re was Zodi in beliefs and concents (Maslow), and almost - some differences exist - entirely in practice (LeGuin).

I was in a heavy time of shedding my "garb(age )", and trying to decide what I truely believe'.

I had worked it out in Zodi, found their reality in Maslow and LeGuin (and now some others ) , and have been making them a part of the Rf al , new­

93

ly integrated me via friends and psychotherapy.

And it's happening. My ideol­ ogies are becoming principles T daily live by. My fantasy worlds are becoming integrated back into the "original me".

I'm beoii no to se 1f-actua1ize.

As a symbol of this new reali­ ty l have taken, as will as been giver bv friends, who claim its aooronriatness, th< name Shevek. I also love its Androgynous o r i o m - a goal of mint on the spiritual and emo­ tional lc vels.

As part of the "new" mt , T'de­ cided that I most share this journey of mint with others; as well as its conclusions.

Therefore, I’ve been writing (for 2 vi ar s now ) my thes is on a workable anarchy based on Humanistic Psychology.

(Anti writing in general - something I've loved to do s inct* v« ry young. Though my skills have far to go). Mv work will be highly detailed.

I hope to have it completed and Pub­ lished within the next H yrs.

I have a lot to do and learn; am looking forward to it*.

'•that I desire from mv RFD fr ie nd s is help with th* fol1ow ing; 1) A list of books, groups, etc. whose work, concepts, etc. you believe would bt o«rtinent to mv studies - no matter h 'w obvious tf tv might set m . (I've felt very cutoff from the' world of anarch­ ists arrel Humanists - even during the year I lived at Twin Oaks Commune.)

2) Correspondence with those interested in, with opinions on, or are working towards similar goals.

(Visits are encouraged if you're ever in my area of Virginia.)

I'm working hard on making ideologies real, but am need­ ing support.

You'll find I gladly return the sa-e.

Thanks, Love and Peace Your Brother, She-vak alias Steven Mark Hertzendorf 2245-E Commonwealth Dr. Charlottesville, VA 22901 (804) 973-6871

Dear RFD,

Dear RFD, My two friends and I are deeply involved in building a communi­ ty where gay and bisexual men could play as large a part in child-rearing as any other people - - a community centered around ideals-based friendships.

After two years on this project, we're still firmly committed to the belief that what holds peo­ ple together in an equalitarian community is sharing the same ideals and agreeing on what are the best practical means of living by them.

Our ideals include Peace, Equality, Liberation, Faith, Joy, Truth, and Love. Here are some of the practical standards we have adopted to help us a chieve them: Personal responsibility and self-direction - no lead­ ers, sexism, racism, ageism - acceptance of varied sexual identities Open, honest communication - a high regard for ra­ tionality & verbality no secrets Po1y fide1i ty - multi-adult families relating nonpreferentially (rather than as couples or proroiscously) Economic sharing - on a community land trust - concern for ecology & self-sufficiency Creating a model for posi­ tive social change The unifying concern throughout is our desire to live in an environment that will encourage fulfillment of our individual potentials.

We presestly live in north­ eastern Wisconsin but are con­ sidering moving soon, perhaps to southwestern Wisconsin.

I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who wants to explore the possibility of joining a community based on the ideas mentioned above.

Charles Munch Rt 5 Sturgeon Bay, Wl (414) 743-9679

54 2 3 5

Arlene Margaret Schwegroann, a mother of 41 is wanting to move into the country to live and raise the family's five children: Ervin (5); Susan (7); Joey (10); Linda (12); and Raymond (15). Raymond is in a foster home in ND, but once the family is settled with a caring country gentle­ man, legal proceedings can be instituted to have him re­ turned to the family.

(I will pay the legal expenses).

Currently they are living at 1224 East Colfax, Apt. 19, Denver, CO 80218. There is no phone at the Apt., however Bill Mclllhargey (at the M t .

Airy Hosp.) is a close family friend and will relay urgent messages to Arlene. His no. is (303) 322-1803 Ext. 590.

Arlene's exhusband refuses to pay regular child support.

There are several judgements against him concerning child support. Her mother lives with the family at tiroes and adds her small monthly S.S. check to the family fund.

(She's very sick and needs to be in a nursing home).

Arlene gets food stamps and a little welfare support.

She did work at one time and is trying to obtain S.S. benefits.

Christmas 1980 will be some­ what bare again this year for the children. Toys are needed'.

Raymond was raised by a gay fellow as were two of his older brothers (Lloyd, Jr. and Bobby), and he is aware of the gay scene and life­ style. Att. Stephen R. Perez (of Chalroette, a suburb) as ­ sures roe he can have Raymond returned to his Mother's custody within 30 to 60 days of legal proceedings being ins t ituted.

Please contact me should you have any further questions.

Ray Woodall, J r .

2800 Grovier St. D-4 New Orleans, LA 70119

Gay musician (42) would like to share a corner of paradise on earth with someone out there.

I live on 40 acres of land right on the Conn. River with my piano and sheepdog in a large old house (11 rooms).

It's mostly woods with a brook bordering the south end of the place. The house has 3 woodstoves and spring water plus a sizeable barn in very good shape and an old shack (former­ ly broom shop about 100 yrs. old).

So, the possibilities are there, but the direction and companionship are not.

My interests other than music are outdoor activities (canoe­ ing...), keeping fit at the YMCA, working around the house (painting and cutting fire­ wood), theater, reading and travel plus learning the stained glass technique as a new hobby.

Personally I'm quiet, consci­ entious, responsible, open to new things and ideas, a semi­ vegetarian, non-drinker and non-smoker who gets incredibly high on music and living in this place.

If interested please contact: Ron Klinka Box 137 Deerfield, MA

01342

My garden of Eden seeks another kindred soul to make it com­ plete.

It's located in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains in North central California, 25 acres of forest and meadows, all year creek, lake stocked with fish, berries, apples and gardens and 4 sea­ sons.

I'm seeking a lover to share my eden, tho a roommate is possible too.

I'm 37, 6 ft, longhair, beard, Jewish, Aries, sensitive, and sensual, organ­ ized, energetic and upfront.

I’d like to meet some dude who is intelligent and together and has ideas of his own for living in the country. Physically (I) prefer guys with beard or long­ hair or hitsute, taller, late 20s to early 40s.

Write with love (have no phone here )...

Steve Ginsburg Cherry Berry Farm P 0 Box 79 M t . Aukum, CA 95656

Dear Friends,

r/

.jWijk.

-- CONTACT WETTER5---

Dear Friends, We are two men, currently living in the country, on the tantric path of joy in and through experiencing our phys­ ical bodies in an intimate relationship. We are forming an ashram for the spiritual advancement of ourselves and others, through mutual support and sharing of tantric experi­ ences. Tantric, in our con­ text, means worshipping and experiencing God in the pre­ sent and in the physical body, through ongoing, long-term re­ lationships with other men, relationships that continually unfold as they become more in­ timate, joyful and freeing.

Partaking of the abundance of all that is given, we find ourselves creating our own practices, rituals and cele­ brations as we manifest both our uniqueness and our common humanity and divinity.

If you are interested in joining with us, please write and let us know what you would hope to contribute, and what you might hope to derive from the Ashram, along with any other information, ques­ tions, or sharing that seems important to you. Our address: Govindananda Ashram P 0 Box 14 04 6 San Francisco, CA 94114

W/M, 36, 5'10", 132 lbs ., Libran, witty, passive, br hair, bl eyes, seeks to write and meet good-looking, honest, sincere, gentle, affectionate, intelligent W/M or B/M under 40. I like movies, long walks, nature, music, reading, thea­ tre, architecture, travel, quiet evenings at home under candlelight and soft music.

Thank you.

I'm sitting here now running several old piano rolls thru my marvelous 51 year old Fischer/Ampico player-grand, and being a Type A workaholic always doin' two things at once.

I'm Norwegian, late 40's, 5'10", blond and blue eyed and 170 lbs. with me, work and progress is the name o' the game. But man doesn't live by bread alone; and after slaving 18 years to build this orchard operation, I sure do now feel the loneliness.

I need someone who can love this land and view and country livin' as much as I do - and who can keep up with ray sex drive, too.

I sure need a mate.

For work purposes, I'd hope he was 35 or under - long hours for the winter pruning of three months, probably is the hardest work - I have much machinery to do most things.

It produces 360 tons now; 14 of the 40 acres being planted in Golden and Red Delicious.

And, I belong to a 120 member co-op packing house.

Here in eastern Washington, we produce the finest apples in the world - even with Italy and France in hot competition.

It's the combination of vol­ canic earth here and the very hot days and cold nights. A bout 4 each afternoon, the wind comes up; the hot air of summer is pushed south and the cold north air comes in for the night. Then, up comes the wonderful color and all the sugar to make the fine apples.

I want to begin a worker/mate at $300 a month plus I'll pay all our housing and food. He has to like dogs - I have 8 little orphaned angels. And they have their own heated kennel and runs, where they are locked at night - during the day they have these 40 acres to roam and play in.

Orven Storlie Rt 1 Box 60-C Brewster, WA 98812

I have some things I would like to say. The first thing I'd like to say is this: I need you. What I mean by you is you at RFD, your magazine and all those readers out there. That is why I sent this donation: to help you out because you've helped me out.

I was lucky to even see a copy of your magazine this past summer. Fortunately, someone happened to have a copy and cared enough to say, "Hey, have you ever seen one of these?" It made a difference.

Now I know I'm not the only gay man with these ideas.

I can't describe the energy boost I get from reading the articles in RFD. I hope that more of your readers will b e ­ come aware of your financial needs and help out with any­ thing they can.

If we art all to grow, then we all have to help that growth along, to nurture it. We can't afford to let the flower die before it has even bloomed. That is how I feel about RFD. I also hope this letter will serve as a contact with other readers.

I am 25, currently living in Missouri - but I will be moving to New Mexico after the first of the year.

I would like to hear from anyone, but exDecially people in these areas.

I am a vege­ tarian, non-smoker, nondrinker. My interests are nature, crafts, art, others, and I am basically what I would term a natural mystic.

If any of this strikes a chord, please write - it would be magical to hear from you.

This is all I want to say.

I hope things will look uo for the magazine.

I'm sure that if we each and everyone do what we can (in terms of writing, donations, caring, vibrations) (it will) keep this fragile network of com­ munication alive and well, with love to you al l , Mel Riley 115 Montford Ave. Asheville, NC 28801 PS: Mail will be forwarded after the New Year.

Norman Selby 5509 Belmont #412 Cincinnati, OH 45224 95

Educating JtJgParents Continued from page

It wasn't easy. But my Sheila learned fast, she's a good girl and makes me very proud.

Bill I'm less pleased with; he's so stubborn and un­ yielding. He always feels he has to challenge my authority, and he fights me all the way on every issue. Was it too much to hope, that he could take my word for something I know about and he doesn't? Apparently it was, but he has lots of time to learn.

I hope he uses it well.

I've really tried to bring up my parents. But they seem so easily led. They run with a set I really don't approve of. Their friends are mainly lawyers, doctors, academics, businessmen, and I think they set bad examples. My par­ ents think the world owes them a living, really they do, and they know so little about the way it works.

Sooner or later they're going to have to leave the nest and make some discoveries about themselves. They've been protected too long, that's all there is to it.

7he

Kitchen Queen Gets Down?

Yes, the time has come for a book on faerie food preparation: to share our healing attitudes about what we put into our bodies; the secrets of our tastes; and the deft styles that make our dishes (and selves) so alluring.

If you have unique info, to contribute (such as sources of good, cheap wire whips, or delish veggie substitutes for animal nasties, or growing, harvesting, preparing soy products on the collec­ tive farmette) or if you have bizarre talents/ experiences and would like to oversee an aspect of the book (such as outrageous production & mar­ keting, or a section on (as a working title), "Recycling the Wild Meat-eaters: Sissies' Remedies for Corporate Destruction, Tiredness & Assimila­ tion", or research on methods & manners, Gay culinary history, sources for ingredients & equipment, etc.) send a note (not a sample yet, please) of your interest, possible commitment to: Krisga c/o R t . 1 Box 93A, Gassaway, TN 37093

But I'm still crazy about them. Call me a sen­ timental fool if you like, but I think everyone should have the experience of being a son or a daughter.

You owe it to yourself.

It's not something you should rush into without consider­ ing the alternatives, but there's no experience to touch it.

I've tried to bring up my parents to be a credit to me, and I can't say I've suc­ ceeded one-hundred-per-cent. But, looking back, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

i I t . * , - , , U V .k V 1 U I)

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S U B M I S S I O N S

Please share your knowledge and visions through RF D . We welcome material of all varieties for possible inclusion in future issues. WRITTEN MATERIAL: Neatly typewritten and/or double­ spaced is helpful, but not required. What is more important is that your work leave your hands a_s you wou 1d have it appear in print since we prefer not to edit anyone’s work other than for punctuation, spelling and clarity.

Please indicate any inten­ tional stylized variation from standard English.

PCf-THY: Send what you feel is your best work, with an eye toward succinctness.

GRAPHICS: Black and white only, please. Do not exceed ten inch column width. PHOTOS: Should be black and white only and high contrast if possible.

Identification of subject, time, location is also helpful and should be included when possible. Also helpful would be a SASE (self addressed, stamped envelope) if you want your work returned whether it’s used or unused. We look forward to hearing from you with love.

D E A D L I N E S

Dates to get material in issues are: spring - Feb. 15, summer May 15, fall - Aug. 15, and winter - Nov. 15.

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F E A T U R E S

N E X T

An

I S S U E

Each issue of RFD will include a ’’Feature" section prepared in various areas by various groups sometimes focusing on various themes.

If you wish to be a part of this creative process, please write for details.

The theme of the spring issue will be Music and Dance.

Please send all materials to RFD, Rt 1 Box 127-E, Bakersville, NC 28705.

RFD Retrospective

C o n tin u e d Jrom p a ^ e 8 7 24 Sro 80

Running Water "Rhododendron Fire District" Running Water Farm Rex Remembers (Harold) itfiat’s Left? (Milo) Micky (Uher ) Gay People At a Critical Cros (Kilhefner)

Toward the New Frontiers of Fairy Vision (Hay) Faerie Power/Gentle Resolve (Abbott) A Call For a Gay Community Land Trust (Hay) Today's Best Buys/Back Tax Sales (Brauer) Growing and Canning Tomatoes (Frey) More Notes From Hermit Hollow (John)

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