RFD Issue 49 Winter 1986 by RFD Magazine Gay

$4 .2 5

A COUNTRY JOURNAL FOR GAY MEN EVERYWHERE NO. 4 9

W I N T E R â&#x20AC;&#x2122;86/7

FEATURING ALL THE (UN)USUAL (with unprecedented) NEWS BRIEFS ALSO FEATURING

LIFESTYLE OPTIONS WHICH MIGHT BRING THE COUNTRY CLOSER

but NOTHING about EGYPT

MANAGING EDITOR: ASSISTANT:

Ron Lambe Charles Simpson

VOLUNTEER DEPARTMENT EDITORS: In time for a snug winter's reading, we are bringing you an issue with lots to read. If you don't have a fireplace, light a candle, fix a nice hot pot of tea, find a comfortable chair, and dig in. This is our biggest issue since 1981. Although the feature turned out light of material we had hoped to get around the theme of communities and households, Michael managed to save 1t with some of h1s special brand of humor. There are a lot of re views in this issue; so much 1s being published that is interesting which we want you to know about. Walter Williams' new book about the berdache is a landmark publication, and we are fortunate enough to have Michael Clark review it for us on page 64. Dr. Clark wrote an article on the Native American berdache which we published in issue #40 (Fall 1984). We were also fortunate to have Light visit briefly to help out with lay out. You'll see examples of his imaginative art 1n a number of articles and pieces of short fiction. Charles has been a god(dess) send for typing especially. Others have pitched 1n as usual, so this issue has come to gether with the help of friends. If we add the contributors, the volunteer editors, and the production helpers, we get quite a number of guys co operating to produce this journal. I always find that heartening and re warding. As we close this calendar year, we remain in fair shape finan cially (at least we don't owe any money), we have a full staff of volunteer editors (joined by Pat Browder, a surgeon interested in holistic medicine and working with the NC Gay 8 Lesbian Health Project), and I have an assis tant, Charles, who is very capable. Yet, there are a number of projects and plans that are still undone: 1) the farm apprenticeship project has been put on hold and warrants some reconsideration for next year; 2) the Indexing project 1s too much for one person, and until Raphael can get some help, it will drag along - maybe we'll shoot for a 15-year index; 3) I still have hopes for an anthology of RFD writings, but we need a special editor or coordinator, funding, etc.; and 4) we need to find ways of pro filing guys living on the land - we just don't have the resources to send out a roving reporter. Our circulation is currently around 2200 but can still be expanded. There remain a number of improvements in production and policy just as a matter of routine, but in general, I feel that we have done well this past year just to keep it going. As I look back over the past 7 years at Running Water and the past 6 years' Involvement with producing this journal, I see a lot of dreams and hopes coming together and into fruition. 4s mentioned on page 2 regarding the Frection Droject at Running Water, John Fox of New York died this summer (of ATDS) and left Running Water the bulk of his estate. Until it is set tled, we can't say exactly how much is involved, but it will be enough to enable us to begin building a meeting house and make some improvements (like a bathroom!) in the old house. Stepping Stone (the corporation that owns Running Water) has an active and concerned board. We have plans to develop a sub-organization to host gatherings, sponsor workshops, and man age retreats. These developments are very exciting to me personally, and I want to participate in all of them. But, I also need to step back a bit, I feel, and turn over some of the responsibilities to others. In fact, I have been hired by the environmental group I have been working with over the past couple of years as a part-time office person. This will pull me into other efforts and make demands on my time. RFD remains one of my main concerns; however, I will most likely be stepping back at Running Water somewhat and hope to begin to rebuild a personal life. There comes a time when mothers have to let their children stand on their own feet. So must I; besides, there are many other dreams and projects I want to help get started. As I mentioned in last issue's editorial, I believe we are approachinq a time of crisis. Whether or not you believe in the prophesied earth chang es, at least most can see economic and political upheaval in the offing. In order to survive, we need to affirm that we want to survive, de v e ^ p networks of support and communication, and make changes in our personal habits to effect a healthy and happy lifestyle. We deserve it!

ARTICLES/ESSAYS: Richard Chumley, TN BK REVIEWS: Kenneth Hale-Wehmann, MA BROS.BEHIND BARS: Len Richardson, OR CONTACT LETTERS: Gary Wilson, MN COUNTRY KITCHEN: Buddy May, NC FEY ARTS: Franklin Abbott, GA FICTION: Randy Conner, CA GARDENING: Scott Tuzzolino, DC GATHERINGS: Sundance, CA HEALTH: Rat Browder, NC HOMESTEADING: Kim Grittner, WI POETRY: Franklin Abbott, GA P0LTT TCS: Stuart ^'orman, CA PROFILES: Warren Potas, DC SPIRTTUALITY : Gerry Kamp, NY RED is a reader-written journal for gay men which focuses on country living and encourages alternative lifestyles. Articles often explore the building of a sense of community, radical faerie consciousness, the caring for the environment, as well as sharing gay men's experiences. Editorship responsibility is shared between the Department Editors and the Managing Editor. The business and general production is centered at Running Water in western North Carolina. Features are often pre pared in various places by different groups. RFD is published quarterly on the equinoxes and solstices at Running Water, Rt. 1 Box 127-E , Bakersville, NC 28705. One year's subscription is $12.00 by second class mail; $18 ^or first class mail. Foreign subs (including Canada) are $14.00/year. Tel: (704) 688-2447.

ISSN *014Q-709X USPS *073-010-00 Non-profit tax exempt status under #23-7199134 as a function of Gay Community Social Services, Seattle, Washington. MEMBER: CCLM (Coordinating Council of Literary Magazines) C0SMEP (The International Assoc. of Independent Publishers) GLPA (Gay/Lesbian Press Assoc.) IGLA (Int'l Gay & Lesbian Assoc.) INDEXED by Alternative Press Index P0 Box 33109 Baltimore, MD 21218 MICROFILMED by Alternative Media_ P0 Box 1347 Ansonia New York, NY 1002-

drawing by Carl Vaughn Frick

(J.S. POSTAL INFORMATION U.S. Postal Service Statement of Ownership, Manage ment, and Circulation (Required by 30 (ISC 36R5). RFD (publication *073010-00) is published quarterly H o u r issues per year). Annual subscription price is $■>2.00. office o f publication is at Rt. 1 Box 127-E, Bakersville, NC ?070S; the Managing Editor is Ron Lambe. RF^ owned by Bay Community Socia1 Ser vices, R .0. Box 2222R, Seattle, WA 9°,1,12.. There are no bond holders, mortgages, or other security holders. RFD is authorized to mail at special rates (Section 15"?.122 PSM) and the purpose, function, and non-profit status of this organization and the tax exempt status for Federal Income Tax purposes have not changed dur ing the preceedlng twelve months.

FUTURE FEATURES Spring 1°B7: FUTU°r FEATURES *50 Spring

Excerpts from Wiggansnatch

*51 Summer

Cay Life in the Adirondacks

PRODUCTION THIS ISSUE: Feature - Michael Mason Running Water - Tom Creekmur, Ron Lambe, Light, •lames Martin, & Charles Simpson Cover designs by Michael Mason

Extent and nature of circulation (average for each issue during preceeding 12 months; actual number of single issues published nearest filing date). Total copies printed (2225; 2200). Sales through dealers and carriers, street vendors, and counter sales (599; 670). Mall subscriptions (946; 907). Total paid cir culation (1545; 1577). Free distribution by mail, carrier, and other means including samples, complimen tary and other free copies (260; 257). Total distri bution (1R14; 1R34). Copies not distributed: office use, left over, unaccounted, spoiled after printing (349; 366). Peturns from news aqents (62; 0). I cer tify that the statements made by me above are correct and complete to the best of my knowledge. Ron Lambe, Managing rditor RUNNING MATER ERECTION PROJECT After a great deal of discussion and deliberation, we have finally agreed upon a design for the Meeting House at Running Water. This has not been an easy decision as we had so many interesting and attractive designs to consider. We opted for a more conventional plan in order to incorporate more features inside hopefully. The design calls for a 30’ by 24' hall, kitchen, bathroom, porch on three sides, and two small rooms for office space. We have some $1,500 collected from donations, and a subscriber who passed away this summer, John Fox, has bequeathed Running Water some money which we plan to use for this project for the most part. Until the estate is settled, we don't know how much we will be getting exactly, but we feel certain 1t will be enough for us to get started and erect the basics. We are scheduling three work weeks this spring: April 5 - 11; May 3 - 9; June 1 - 6 . If anybody has building skills, especially carpentry and rock work, please contact us for details.

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CONTRIBUTORS Franklin Abbott............... 16 Alladres...... 6, IB, 33,38,50-S3, 61,63,75-82 Rig Stone..................36,63 Michael Cadnum................ 61 Carlos.....................IB,73 J. Michael Clark.............. 64 Louis A. Colantuono........... 71 Joe Col 1 ins................... 52 Darby......................... 30 Mike Dittmer.................. 51 Mark Eddy..................... 46 Sharon Farmer................. 17 Jamie FI olid.................. 73 Carl Vaughn Frick.... 1,25 ,47,66 Daniel Garrett................ 53 Kim Grittner.................. 30 Craig G. Harris............... 53 Michael Hathaway.............. 53 Michael Hi 1e .................. 69 Scott Humphries............... 68 Cary Alan Johnson............. 52 Greg Johnson.................. 62 Wesley Johnson................ 33 Henri Jones................... 42 Julian........................ 47 John Landry................... 53 Lee Lawrence.................. 31 Little Big Rear............... 5Q Lotus..........................27 Jeff Mann..................... 52 James Martin............... 20,68 Michael Mason........40,44,45,46 Buddy May..................... 58 Mark McNease.................. 54 Moon...........................59 Edward Mycue.................. 50 Stuart Norman................. 60 Richard Oloizia............... 71 Rocco Patt.................... 23 Israel Perkins................ 33 Numa Pillion.................. 72 Plum Nelly.................... 43 John Preston.................. 35 David W. Price................ 27 Dael Prichard................. 51 Martin Rochl in................ 49 Raphael Sabatini............. 24 Assotto Saint................ 52 Joseph Salack................. 41 Charles Simpson............... 69 Winthrop Smith................ 50 Stevie........................ 42 David Sunseri................. 50 Jeffrey Steinberg............ 38 Michael Swift................. Linda Thompson................ 56 Ivor C. Treby................. 53 Meg Umans..................... 70 Tim Waddington................ 22 Walden.......... 23,31,37,64 ,IBC Dan Ward................ 39,44,BC Skip Ward..................... 28 Mark West..................... 56 Ian Young..................... 50 Irene Young................... 16

A COUNTRY JOURNAL FOR GAY MEN EVERYWHERE

E IM B U R S E D

R E A M IN G

V O L . XIII No. W in t e r 198 6/7 ▼ ANNOUNCEMENTS ........................................................................................................... 6-15 ARTICLES & ESSAYS g^tch Points - R. Sabatini............................. *4

BOOK REVIEWS

BROS. BEHIND BARS CONTACT LETTERS COUNTRY KITCHEN FEATURE

FEY ARTS FICTION

GATHERINGS HEALTH HOMESTEADING

LETTERS POETRY

Participation in this journal does not necessarily indicate any particular sexual orientation.,

POLITICS SPIRITUALITY 3

Growing Old - S. Ward............ ..................... -Q •Heterosexual Questionaire - M. Rochl in................. _ Killing to Save One's Life - J. Preston................* Rural Gays - L. Thompson..... ••••••••................. A Summer Day Remembered - Little Rig R e a r .... (Lanz) - Colantuono (71), < (Howard) - Oloizia (71); (Self) - Colantuono (71); M A (Peduzzi) Colantuono (71); M ^siere) Martin (68); M (Gal ford) - Umans (70); <ecHile (69); (Plant) Simpson (69); (Palmer) - Humphries (68), (Uhrig) - Pillion (72); (Williams) - Clark (64); M*a c ^ u £ (Walters) - Umans (70); (Geller) - Umans (70), (Miner) - Umans (70) Everybody - J. Perkins................................. . 34 Joint Venture - R. Norton Mail Scam - W. J°hnson........

Javanese Woodioonkinq Toots lion 's Ven Halung BvtdhouS&A ahinq cUon Toys edltaU ons With the Hopi o tf CutpuASe inq U Together The Pink The SacAed Round Sex P ositive The Spisut and .\e Ftesh The Sun Js Not TfUangies Winter's Edge

Country Kitchen - B. May............................... Grow B a s i l M o o n ........... .................. .41 At Home At Last - J. Salack.. Plum Nelly............ ^3 Creating the New Clear Family Interview With God - M. Mason.......................... Livin' in a Community - Stevie......................... News Briefs - M. Mason......... ............ 45 Tell Mr. Mason - M. Mason...... New Words, New Music - F. Abbott ,54 A Boy Needs a Man - M. McNease.. Dreams Come True - J. FI olid........................... Mikhail and Vladimir - Big Stone Whirlpool - J. Steinberg....... ,47 Wings - Julian.................. .26 The Stag's Voice - G. Johnson... L. Hay's Tape on AIDS - R. Patt. Healing Outside the System - J. Martin................. Homesteading Notes - K. Grittner....................... V My New Buddy - L. Lawrence............................

,16

,36 38

.23

At the Turn of the Year - I. Treby (53); Before Night s Warm Fire - D. Prichard (51); Brown Boy - M. Hathaway (53); Crisis: Covenant - D. Garrett (53); Disconnected Love - J. Landry (53); Douglas Dead of AIDS - M. Swift (50); First Snow - I. Young (50); Scott Michael - D. Sunseri (50); Night Thirst - M. Cadnum (51); Phone Sex C Harris (53); Poem for Mike - C. Johnson 52 ; PWA W* Smith (50); Rationalize Me - J. Collins (52); Remembrance and Revelation - A. Saint (52); Seven Moons - M. Dittmer (51); Three Rectangles - E. Mycue (50), Walking Down West Virginia Avenue - J. Mann (52) Of Bull, Papal and Otherwise - S. Norman.............. pu Right Use of Will - Big Stone...

Dear Ron, I welcome the extension of the announcement department. Both ATVS and nuclear contamination are facing us. Among those worst k it by W the Chernobyl disaster are the Samen (kind of, abori.ginal people roaming over the north of Norway, Sweden, and Finland). They're liv ing on the meat oft reindeer and fis h ! which they eat and se ll. Both are not edible now. Also badly hit are organic farmers in the south of Bavaria. Their customers are more critica l than the junk food crowd. Thus, they can't se ll Hems. And the Soviet and the Western European governments are in a dirty cover-up cooperation assuring us that out side the Soviet Union everything is o.k. The reasons are obvious. Both sides are eager to proceed with nuclear energy. The victims get no material refund and the authorities on both sides are neither w illing nor able to pro vide i t . Wishing you well, Klaus, West Germany Vear Ron, 7 (ehoteheartedtu agree with your words in uour opening column in RFV #47 a^out the connections between the concerns of fairies, Native Americans, and people opposed to our government's mismanagement S misues of nuclear energy. T realty appreciated the "nuclear news" mge and the Big Mountain story. The connections are. obvious: ive who love the land, the body 8 sp irit do not want these things taken aunt/, spoiled, desecrated. Keep up the good work - - i t 's powerful for your readers like me. Vours, Steven Riel, Boston

Vear RFV 1 would like to take issue with several points made in Homesteader's tetter fissue #48) about hunting and trapping. F irstly, according to the U.S. Vept. of the Interior, hunters and trappers financed only 37% of w ildlife programs through fees and taxes in a recent year, with the remaining $148 m illion (631) paid by the average nonhunt ing taxpayer. The idea that hunters pay their way is simply not -true. I also take issue with the idea that, i t is kinder to shoot an animal than le t i t starve to death. Hunters like the Homesteader rarely mention that hundreds of thousands of "game" animals are le ft munded yearly by hunters, as well as countless other animals killed by "mistake." Nature, in Her wisdom, has natural predators k ill old, sick and dying animals, but leaves the finest in the herd for propagation. Starva tion and cold k ills weaker animals as well. Hunters, on the other hand, prefer killing the very best. As a result, the long-term survival potential of a species is diminished because the animals with the best genes are destroyed. Like meat eating, hunting is a moral choice, done mostly for pleas ure and rarely from necessity. Killing animals in the wild "for the animal's sake" simply does not hold (cater. Nathaniel Altman, Brooklyn, NV 4

How disappointing to mad Issue #48's anonymous le tte r which so blankly lied in its bloodthirsty attempts to ju stify the animalabusive, brutal, acts of hunting, and even worse--trapping [the traps don't care who steps inside, in cluding stray pets). Such violent behavior is clearly out of place in a journal which is nature-affirming (not nature-des troying) --th a t' s why dairies are vegetarians--loving, gentle, and genteel. The anonymous writer then proceeds to explain why i t 's good for animals to have their bodies blown apart by bullets and their limbs ripped off (if they're "lucky" enough to es cape by chewing o ff their paws) by steel jaw leg-hold traps. "It's better than starving," the mentallymutated animal killers claim. How would they know and since when would they core? Why can't they show us actual documentation of hunters ignoring healthy, well-fed animals while waiting for the starv ing animals to show up? He us es the same old tiresome and untrue excuses to ju stify this slaughter of the innocent, such as "w ildlife starving to death" and "population thinning," a ll of which proves that hunting does not work to thin alleged overpopulation. In fact, this or any other alleged overpopulation is CAUSEV BV HUMANS 'oho murder animals (such as the trapping of fox, coyotes and other fur-bearing animals, the deer's natural predators who die needless ly for humans’ evil vanity) . Plus, there is only one species who insists on overbreeding and then overbreeding more, even with the knowledge of mass starvation. By his logic we should a ll be hunting poor people because i t 's "more humane than lettin g them starve." So, i f that writer knew anything about w ild life he icould know that iohen natural vegetation gets scarce female deer stop ovulation in order to prevent the birth of deer -the habitat cannot support and that writer would also know that the reason w ild life appears to be overpopulated is that humans in sist on encroaching upon the animals’ environment to build new shopping malls and over-priced condos, thus displacing the very w ild life humans are responsible for protecting. Mark V. Holmes, Horsham, Penn.

swamp or to grovel ior crumbs irom Dear Ron, the heterosexual dicta torsh ip. Let me congratulate you on RFO, Yours, which gets better every issue. 7 cm delighted to read your stu ii on the struggle against the nuclear in Vavid Thorstad, New York City dustry. 7t goes on everywhere. Your articles on A7VS, too, are excelent. Thanks. Here and there in the pages p i RFV I see a ll the spiritual attitudes reflected that 7 have learnt in my study oi C. G. Jung. Oi course, not a ll your contributors have equal ui- Vear RFV, Sig'vt, but most seem to be on the inner journey to the Friend oi This le tte r is in response to Ur iriends--The M i . I most sula Enters Copley oi Homosexual grateiul tor the review oi Embrae7niormation Center {RFV, Summer ’86, ing the Exile by John fortunate, 7ssue 47): whZcTTeventually arriced here and th rilled me and severla others 7 "...b u t a man who claims to be bi have shown it. to. sexual admits to no sexual preierence or orientation; thereiore, He assured that this solitary rural Stanley (Richard Stanley--Suing Rig hermit appreciates RFV and that his Brothers oi L.A. ior discrimination) heart gives a l i t t l e jump ior joy cannot be discriminated against ior when he iinds a new issue in his this reason..." dusty roadside mailbox. " ...h is right to sexual privacy, and those oi a ll applicants to Rig Thanks, Brothers, have, been violated..." Tony Newman, Australia This statement irom not only a pri vate party, but a person who repre sents a sexual preierence organiza tion, is a prime example oi "homo sexual centrism," in which sexual oriented gender persons, see their uoay oi doing things, or their oppo sitio n to their ways, as the only Dear RFV: two (either/or) viable ways to be within the problem to be solved. 7 was gratiiied that you reprinted, There are other options available irom Gay Community News my analysis oi the passage oi the Mew York City and the bisexual option is the open option to not have a gender exclugay rights b ill. Host oi what was written in the gay and lesbian press siveness, but to have a sensual nature in which gender identiiicaabout the event was as superiicial tion to sexual iuliillm ent is abol as anything appearing in the ished and true ireedom oi seeing straight press. the person ior themselves, and not within the brackets oi gender, is One typo crept into your reprint, however. The "victory celebration" accomplished. in Sheridan Square was attended by Homosexual persons who see bisexuals about 1000, not 100. Also, your ty p ist rephrased one point in a way in the manner depicted by Ms. Copley could be called chauvinistic. We 7 iound odd. 7 said that the New could excuse this philosophy by say Vork Archdiocese, spokesman at the ing that what was done by hetero hearing in opposition to the b ill "was, by the way, obviously gay and sexuals to homosexuals is now being a victim oi seli-hatred." This was done to bisexuals as entrance to be changed to " . . .appeared, by the way, iu lly id en tiiied as a sexual orien tation within the human sexual to be g a y ...." 7 preier to call a bonds. We hope this is n 't so, ior closet queen a closet queen, and a traitor a tra ito r. And th a t's what knowledge is lo st i i i t is ignored or submerged into the passions and a gay person who publicly upholds the angry emotions oi homosexuals the bigotry and hypocrisy oi the striking back, because oi what has Roman Church is. been done to them. 7t 's hoped homosexuals oi this caliber w ill be RFV is reireshing ior its continu ing vision oi liberation, tohen most able to grow beyond these human, but disastrous needs to hurt others oi the gay "movement" has opted to mire its el i in the Vemoerotic Party as they’ve been hurt. 5

Ms. Copley’s statements are in line with western culture and philosophy on human knowledg e •' 7i i t 's A i t cannot be 8 7/ i t 's B i t cannot be C 7i i t 's A or 8 i t cannot be C In other words in sexual relation ships only two true orientations are available: heterosexuality and homosexuality. Anything outside oi these two polarities are non-exis tent and not to be held as a viable option. Bisexuality is a threat to the either/or mentality and the group exclusiveness which these homosexuals try to build: 1. seli exclusiveness, 2. group cohesive ness and mysterious charisma, 3. and a to ta l commitment and pride by making their sexual style the only alternative to heterosexuality. Another iear these homosexuals may have oi bisexuals is the trust bond: can 7 tru st you to be with me, to develop a relationship, or are you ju st having a f( ling, a one night stand. I i you ane, iine, we both want that--or, 7 uxmt more than that and you're incapable oi giving that to me and thereiore 7 don't tru st you ior you're not as com mitted to a man-to-man or woman-towoman liie s ty le as 7 am, and th a t's because you are airaid to leave your straiglit. world, and to choose to actively be a gay person. This question is n ’t a gender one, but a tru st bond in any relationship. 7i i t ends i t 's because one oi the two wishes i t to, and the hurt is at losing a person, not a person's sexual orientation bringing about the end oi the relationship. The bisexual person belongs to hu manity and looks ior intends, lov ers, and mates in either gender; he/she doesn't iorce themselves into a gender lim ited relationship choice. This choice is a iu ll aware conscious decision to enjoy the iruits oi human beauty wherever they may be iound. Human touching without the hang ups oi gender lim itation, makes the world oi bisexuality a beautiiul, /M illin g and sensuous joy to live. Each oi us mast ivalk in the ireedom to iind the loves oi our M e , iree oi any restriction upon us and in bisexuality this ireedom is assured. Thank you. Sincerely yours, Terry Johnson, Long Beach, Calii.

AMERICANS AGAINST CENSORSHIP A recent poll has shown that even though neo-conservatives have achieved the censorship of many books and magazines, the silent majority of Americans oppose such censorship. The poll, commissioned by the Americans for Constitutional freedom (ACF), showed that 67$ of all Americans believe that the government should not discourage stores from selling particular books and magazines. The poll found that 84% of Americans think the public should have the right to buy any book or magazine that hasn't been declared illegal.

FAIR JUDGES WANTED A vast majority of the American electorate wants the Senate to play an active role in reviewing nominees for federal judgeships, according to a nationwide poll commissioned by People for the American Way. 86% say it is very important for the Senate to play an active role in re viewing nominees for federal judgeships. By a margin of 78% to 16% voters took the position that "it is important for the Senate to make sure that judges on the Supreme Court represent a balanced point of view." In releasing the survey re sults, PFAW President Tony Podesta said: "The message is unmistakable that the American voters want a Senate that is not simply a rubber stamp for the President, and they want judges who are fair, honest and open-minded."

GAY FOSTER PARENTS A special joint committee of the New Hampshire legislature has approved new state rules that allow lesbians and gay men to become foster parents, according to the Associated Press. The 10-member Administrative Rules Committee voted unanimously in favor of the regulations prepared by the state Division of Children and Youth Services. The regulations drew praise from gay activists and civil libertarians because they ap pear to be nondiscriminatory. The guidelines emphasize that applicants must be able to provide a foster child with a "safe, nurturing and stable family environment which is free from abuse and neglect."

ANTI-GAY VIOLENCE

The National Board of Directors of the ACLU voted Dct. 19 to adapt a formal policy statement endorsing both gay and lesbian marriage and a range of economic benefits for gay and lesbian life partners. This statement will be added to long standing ACLU policy against dis crimination based on sexual orien tation and against criminal laws prohibiting homosexual conduct. The new policy statement describes both the recognition of gay and lesbian marriage and the recogni tion of economic benefits for un married partners as "imperative for the complete legal equality of les bians and gay men." The benefits covered by the policy include em ployee fringe benefits, insurance benefits, Income tax benefits, and visitation and next-of-kin rights when a lover is incapacitated.

Widespread violence against gay men and lesbians was the subject of broad-ranging testimony presented this fall before the House Subcom mittee on Criminal Justice. The National Gay & Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF), which pressed for the hear ings for over a year, was joined in its testimony before the Subcommit tee by a diverse array of witnesses from the law enforcement, social science, and gay rights communities. "The gay community is not only bat tling AIDS, but is also confronting a second epidemic, one that has re ceived far less attention from our public officials. That epidemic is anti-gay violence," testified Kevin Berrill, Director of NGLTF's Vio lence Project.

The hearings focused on the extent and roots of anti-gay violence as well as innovative ways to tackle this growing problem. The panelists discussed studies Indicating that anti-gay violence is a nation-wide problem and cited evidence that such violence is increasing in some com munities. Citing a recent NGLTF study, Berrill noted that "More than CONSCIENTIOUS CREDIT CARD one in five gay men and nearly one in ten lesbians have been physically If you are a peace person who is a assaulted because of their sexual victim of the credit card mania, orientation..." The panelists also you may wish to consider the new addressed the lack of a federal re Working Assets VISA card now being sponse to anti-gay violence. A offered by Nuclear Free America variety of organizations, both gay (NFA). The Working Assets Money and non-gay, presented written Fund is a socially and environmental testimony. ly responsible money market fund which seeks to avoid investing in NGLTF's recommendations to Congress companies involved in nuclear pro included: a call for federal, duction, pollution, etc. Working state and local governments to study Assets Fund has agreed to contribute anti-gay violence; tougher laws to S5 to NFA for every Working Asset combat anti-gay violence; official VISA Card account opened through monitoring of anti-gay incidents and NFA. The Fund also has a policy of other hate crimes; the establishment contributing 5t to other non-profit of innovative programs to improve organizations workinq for peace, police/gay community relations; the human rights or the environment provision of adequate support, coun every time a Working Asset VISA seling and financial resources for card is used. The annual fee for gay and lesbian victims of crime; the card is 522, the interest rate educational programs in schools, is 17.5*, and numerous personal churches and communities to combat benefits are offered. For an ac the prejudice that leads to vio count request form, write Nuclear lence; repeal of all laws criminal Free America, 325 E. 26th St., izing gay sex; and the enactment of Baltimore, MD 21218; or phone legislation protecting the civil (301) 235-3575. rights of lesbians and gay men. 6

PRIVACY PROJECT

GRAZING ON PUBLIC LANDS

The National Gay % Lesbian Task Force has hired Boston lesbian ac tivist Sue Hyde as Director of its newly created Privacy Project. The Privacy Project was created by the Task Force to organize for the re peal of sodomy laws at the state and local level. The Project will develop educational materials, work with state and local gay organiza tions to develop model strategies to achieve sodomy repeal, and will build coalitions among a variety of gay and non-gay organizations which have an interest in the issues raised by such laws.

Nearly 50% of the land area of the eleven western states is owned by all Americans, and virtually all of it that can be grazed (8015) is grazed every year by private ranch ers. Yet, these lands produce only 2% of the nation's cattle feed. About 30,000 private ranchers, sub sidized by taxes, graze their cat tle on public land for personal profit. They pay $1.35 a month to graze a cow and a calf--only 35% of the cost of managing grazing on public lands and only 20% of the cost of comparable grazing on private lands. Many ranchers re sell public grazing for as much as ^12.00 and pocket the profit. In direct and hidden costs run into the many millions each year. For personal profit, these welfare ranchers are ravaging public rangelands, forests, and even wildlife refuges and wilderness areas, lead ing to abusive overgrazing, destruc tion of native vegetation, massive soil erosion, depletion and con tamination of streams, drastic re duction of wildlife and wildlife habitat, endangered species and extinction of large predators, re duced access and enjoyment of our public lands, and more. A group of concerned citizens are cir culating a petition calling for the elimination of commercial live stock on public lands and the boy cott of beef. Write: P.0. Box 2203, Cottonwood, Arizone 86326.

larouche plan defeated BOYCOTTS There is a need for the lesbian and gay community to know about individ ual acts of discrimination and ha rassment. The social and political climate being what it is and dis crimination aqainst lesbians and gays growing in acceptance, the National freedom Boycotts is devel oping an elective support base to apply, through letters, telephone calls and outright boycotts, eco nomic pressure on companies, organi zations and individuals who dis criminate. All information collect ed will be computer edited and passed on to members and organiza tions in the lesbian and gay commun ity. A "hot line" has been estab lished in Reno at (702) 392-5496. Reports and requests for investiga tion may be forwarded to National Freedom Boycotts, 350 S. Center NO 350, Reno, NV 89501.

OZONE HOLES The "ozone layer" is a fragile veil that surrounds the earth and shields life from excessive ultra-violet rays. Scientists now admit that in the past decade, chlorofluoro carbon gas (aerosol cans for exam ple) have eaten vast holes in the ozone shield, especially over Ant arctica. The result is irrever sible and possibly catastrophic. It means an increase in skin cancer, eye disease, and damage to the body's immune system. The T-cells, which are attacked by the HIV, live close to the surface of the skin and would be among the first bodily cells to be affected by the increased radiation.

The voters in California resounding ly repudiated the LaRouche generated proposition that would have called for quarantining persons who test positive for the HIV/HTLV-T11 viral antibodies. The vote against the proposition was almost three to one which surprised many people watching the issue. The polls prior to the vote were much closer, motivating several groups to raise money, organize grass roots and educate the public regarding AIDS.

KENTUCKY VICTORY A county judge 1n Lexington, Ken tucky, has ruled that Kentucky's criminal sodomy statute is uncon stitutional, as it violated Ken tuckians' right to privacy under the state's constitution. "This is the first state court ruling striking down a sodomy law since the Supreme Court's regressive decision in the Georgia case," said Nan Hunter, director of the national ACLll Les bian and Gay Rights Project. "We appreciate the courage that was re quired for a Kentucky state judge to apply the law of privacy in such a principled way." The judge said, "The authority cited by the Defen dant indicates that the right to privacy under the Kentucky Constitu tion is broader than that provided by the Federal Constitution." It is unlikely that the matter will end at the District Court level, as the prosecutors have indicated their desire to appeal the new ruling. A District Court's ruling does not bind the entire judicial system 1n Kentucky. If the case is appealed, however, the ruling by the higher courts will be binding throughout the state. 7

MORE MONEY FOR AIDS The AIDS epidemic could result in one of the worst health catastrophes of the 20th century, a National Academy of Sciences panel said Wed nesday in recommending a $2 billion a year attack on the disease, through research, treatment, and education to be funded largely by the federal government. The report called Washington's current alloca tions for educating the public about AIDS "woefully inadequate." If funds are made available, most AIDS patients can be treated in their homes or 1n out-patient units instead of undergoing more expen sive hospitalization, the report said. The panel opposed coercive health measures like quarantining, banishing AIDS victims to isolation wards, and mandatory screening to determine who is Infected with the virus.

CREATIVE SPIRITUALITY

NAMBLA LIRRARY

Creation concerns itself with the energy of creativity that flows through the cosmos. Regular features on ritual, art as medita tion, science, mysticism, and con versations with some of today's leading spiritual thinkers. Con tact: Creation, P.0. Box 19216, Oakland, CA 94619.

The Southern California Chapter of the North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA/Southern Cali fornia) recently established the "Russell Research and Lending Library" for use by boys and men as well as others residing or studying in Southern California. The Libra ry, specializing in Intergenerational Relationships, Youth Libera tion, Sexual Freedom, and SelfDetermination issues, is intended as a resource supportive of Man/ Boy Love and other such consensual relationships. For info: NAMBLA/ Southern California Chapter, P.0. Box 48772, Los Angeles, CA 900480772; (213) 382-0614.

SAFE SEX VIDEO The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and the Exodus Trust are producing a series of sex-posi tive videos for AIDS education. The first video is entitled "All Hands On Dick" ($29.95 plus $2.50 postage), the documentation of an at-home safe sex party. Both educational and entertaining, this 40-minute video has broken new ground in the field of AIDS education and has been presented in safe sex workshops in the United States and rurope. Write: Fxodus Trust, 1529 Franklin St., San Francisco, CA 94109. (415) 928-1133.

A COURSE IN LIGHT "A Course in Light" is a spiritual course specifically designed by the Ascended Masters for those with AIDS/ARC as well as their loving friends. It is an instruction on a positive self-healing for the body and the mind. The course con sists of 16 "Levels" which range from 10 to 12 weeks per level. Level one is the physical body; level two is the emotional body; level three is the mental realm; level four is the astral-etheric body. Then begins Planetary one through Planetary twelve. Radesthesia or "dousing," a quartz crystal class, and a diet class on what the Masters suggest for AIDS/ ARC people are also included. Contact Kathy Sellick Nadalin at (914) 246-2532.

FRANKLY LESBIAN A new version of the diary of Anne Frank has been published by the Dutch government and included are lesbian sexual fantasies that were censored out of earlier versions. The Dutch Institute of War Documen tation is calling the recently published edition the "definitive version" of the diary. One of the passages heretofore unpublished reads, "I become ecstatic every time I see a naked figure of a woman, such as a Venus in an art history book. Sometimes I find it so wondrous and beautiful, that I have to hold myself in, so that I do not begin to cry." An English translation of the complete diary is expected to published soon.

GAY ALASKA RADI" A gay/lesbian public affairs radio program in Anchorage, Alaska, has received 3 awards for excellence in two 1986 competitions. "Out in the North," a weekly half-hour program produced at public station KSKA-FM, featured the winning entries during broadcasts in 1985. In addition, "Hut in the North" received 3rdplace honors from the Alaska Press Club for best ongoing public af fairs radio program in the state. It is heard on KSKA-FM (91.9 MHz) every Sunday evening at 8:30 p.m.

NEW BLACK JOURNAL

MEN'S MOVEMENT

A new magazine covering news and opinions of interest to the inter national black lesbian and gay com munity has been launched recently. Published by the National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays, the magazine is called B1ack/Out. Subs are $6 per year. Individual is sues are $2. Write: Black/Out, P.0. Box 2314, Philadelphia, PA 19103.

Nurturing News has published a special feature on the Men's Move ment (Pevisitedl in its fall issue. Tt includes a number o f articles examining the breadth of the men's movement. There is also a supple ment on children and sexuality. Individual copies are *4.50, subs are *16.00 per year f4 issuesl. Write: Nurturing News, 187 Caselli Ave., San Francisco, CA 94114. 8

RUNNING WATER LIRRARY Mainly with the generous bequest of a larqe collection of books from a subscriber, Running Water is devel oping a library. As broad as the subject matter is, there are sev eral weak points that we would like to strengthen. If anyone has ex tra books, especially in the fol lowing categories, we would deeply appreciate those contributions. Categories: Gay/Lesbian fiction and nonfiction, herbalism, spirit uality, nature/ecology, feminism and women's studies, Native Amer icans, mythology and folktales, self-sufficiency, and alternative culture. Write: Running Water, Rt. 1 Box 127-E, Bakersville, NC 28705.

BUYER'S GUIDE Have you ever thought that the same company which makes the ma chine that warms your muffins might also produce missile parts which could help toast your buns? You can find out about such things by consulting a new publication, The Socially Responsible Buyers' Guide. Sponsors of the Covenant for a World Free of Nuclear Weap ons have identified commonly pur chased consumer products and ser vices and divided them according to the company's nuclear weapons contracts. The guide is geared to show consumers how we might un wittingly support nuclear weapons producers. The guide will direct you toward buying with a clear con science. To get a copy sent $3 to Interfaith Council for Peach, 604 E. Huron, Ann Arbor, MI 48104.

SAFE SEX CALENDAR

TEACHING NON-VIOLENCE

TEACHING AIDS

In August 1*85, shortly after he was diagnosed with AIDS, photographer Glenn Mansfield prepared an educa tional and erotic "safe sex calen dar" which also could be used to raise money for Howard Brown Memo rial Clinic, which serves Chicago's gay and lesbian community. The publishers of Gay Chicago Magazine produced the calendar, and it was a success, raising almost S7000 for the clinic. Gay Chicago Magazine staff photographer, Jack Sitar, volunteered to work with Glenn to produce the 1°87 calendar. This year's black and white calendar is accented by color backgrounds. Like '’ast year, all of the money from calendar sales will be donated to Howard Brown Memorial Clinic. The calendar is $JO, plus $1.50 postage and handling, in plain cover. Order from: Gay Chicago Magazine, 1527 N. Wells St., Chicago , TL 60619.

Fighting Fair is a new video, curriculum, and poster resource which challenges students in grades through 9 to develop skills in dealing with anger within the framework of M.L. King's philosophy of non-violence. The entire pack age includes an 18-minute video showing a coach help a group of angry kids resolve conflict on the basketball court. The complete package is $69.95 plus $5.00 for postage and handling. The cur riculum and poster without the video are $14.95 plus $1.00 for postage. Write: The Grace Contrino Abrams Peace Education Foun dation, Inc., P.0. Box 19-1153, Miami Beach, FL 33119.

In response to the increasing de mand for educational materials covering AIDS, a timely curriculum "Teaching AIDS: A Resource Guide on Acquired Immune Deficiency Syn drome" is being published by ETR Associates/Network Publications. Coinciding with recent reports by U.S. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop and the National Academy of Sciences stressing the critical im portance of AIDS education, "Teach ing AIDS" is designed to be used by teachers, youth leaders and com munity health educators. "Teaching AIDS is a 124-page resource guide with 7 teaching plans, worksheets, an essential question and answer section, trouble-shooting tips for teachers and an AIDS resource list ing. Tt teaches 4 concepts: 1) AIDS is a viral disease, not a gay disease; 2) AIDS is not casually transmitted; 3) anyone can contract AIDS; 4) AIDS can be prevented. "Teaching AIDS" ($14.95 plus $2.25 shipping) is available only by phone or mail order from ETR Associates/ Network Publications, 1700 Mission St., P.0. Box 1830, Santa Cruz, CA 95061-1830; (408) 429-9822.

ALTERNATIVE GUIDE The Whole Aga1n Resource Guide is a directory to alternative and New Age periodicals and resource books. Newspapers, magazines, journals, newsletters, indexes, abstracting services, bibliographies, handbooks, directories, and other sourcebooks are included in the listing o * over 3200 publications. Cost is $ plus $ postage and handling, from Source Net, Box 6767, Santa Barbara, CA 03160.

2.00

74.05

AIDS STORIES Two Seasons is a new book by John rhism about the AIDS crisis. The short stories create a mosaic effect ’n dealing with the AIDS crisis from the points of view of a variety of gay and straight people. The time period focused on is the first two seasons of 1°R3, when the AIDS crisis gained worldwide notice as a growing tragedy. Cost is $6.95. Contact: John Chism, #631 , inn Henry St., Brooklyn Heights, NY 1201; ( 1R) 674-6000, ext. 76 1 , or j 70i-3556.

( 912

GAY GAMES VIDEO Gay Games Highlights and Women's Physique Competition are now avail able on video from the August Games in San Francisco. $39.95 ea. plus $2 shipping. Write: B-GG Produc tions, P.0. Box 421916, San Fran cisco, CA 94142. Indicate VHS or BETA.

COMPUTER LOBRYING Compupas, a computer and telecom munications organization, announces the formation of an electronic lob bying service called Constituent Express. It will serve only the progressive peace, labor, environ mental, and social justice com munities. Constituent Express will provide overnight delivery of elec tronically transmitted messages from organizations and their respec tive members to the II.S. Congress and White House for a fraction of the cost of a mailgram or overnight letter. Bending fees are D<f for a message consisting of lines and 60 characters per line. For info: Constituent rxpress, 408 13th St., #283, Oakland, CA 94612; (415) 836-7389.

TWO DREAM MAGS Dream Network Bui 1etin (670 E. Rio Road, Charlottesville, VA 229D1) is a bimonthly journal that attends to such topics as the nature of dreams, types of dreams, dream in terpretation, etc., along with a section for announcing workshops, Arming groups, and an occasional pen-pal request. A more scientific journal is Lucidity Letter (Dept, of Psychology, Univ. of Northern Iowa, Cedar Ralls, IA 50614-050*). This looks at the very interesting topic of lucid dreaming (a lucid dream is one in which the dreamer becomes conscious o* the fact that s/he is dreamingl. A typical issue contains readable abstracts of cur rent research in the field, as well as some speculation and approach to theory. 9

COMING OUT "Coming Out to Your Parents" is a 16-page booklet published for les bians and gay men who are consider ing coming out to their parents. The booklet, published by Philadel phia Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (Parents FLAG), identifies six stages most parents go through when they learn of their gay child's sexual orientation. For a free single copy send a self-addressed, stamped business envelope to Parents FLAG, P.0. Box 15711, Philadelphia, PA 19103. Additional copies are per includes 25t each; postage.

$20

100

WOODWORKING CATALOGUE The new Garrett Wade Woodworking Tools 1907Ti~~now available from Sterling Pub. Co., Inc., 2 Park Ave., New York, NY 10016, for $4.00 The Garrett Wade Company has established a reputation as the source for the essential, the un usual, and the hard-to-find in woodworking tools and accessories. The catalogue contains a goldmine of information, advice and helpful tips along with detailed descrip tions of each item, its technical capabilities, specifications and various uses for working with wood.

HOLISTIC AIDS GUIDF The Whitman Walker Clinic of Wash ington, D.C., a long-standing les bian and gay health clinic, has sponsored the publication of a large-format, 25 page booklet, "Al ternative and Holistic Health Care for AIDS and Its Prevention: A Sourcebook of Descriptions, Biblio graphy and Practitioners in the Washington, D.C.-Baltimore, Mary land Area." The idea for the pro ject grew out of a conversation be tween Caitlin Ryan, former Project Manager of the Clinic's AIDS Educa tion Fund, and Dr. Paul Van Ness, a clinical psychologist with a special interest in holistic health care. Although geographically limited in its listing of practitioners, the descriptions and annotated biblio graphies on the various approaches will provide valuable information to any reader. The sourcebook in cludes chapters on vitamin C ther apy, macrobiotics, guided imagery, acupuncture, massage, homeopathy, nutrition, and a special self-help section on the use of audiotapes for meditation, relaxation, guided Imagery and visualization. A supplement with new and updated Information will be available in January or February 1987. The sourcebook can be purchased for a *7.DO, tax deductible contribu tion. Checks are made payable to the Whitman Walker Clinic AIDS Pro gram, and orders are to be mailed to: Whitman Walker Clinic AIDS Program, 2335-lRth St., N.W., Wash ington, D.C. 20000, (202) 332-5039.

GAY HEALTH CONFERENCE

AIDS TAPES "Threshold of Power" is a boxed set of three hour-long cassettes for people with AIDS and their rela tives, friends, and counselors. These tapes compassionately present six half-hour therapeutic programs that take the listener step-by-step through grieving, letting go of denial , working through unfinished emotional business, healing memo ries, embracing one's whole world with unconditional love. David Richo, Ph.D., practices JungianTranspersonal therapy, supervises counselors at the Gay & Lesbian Re source Center, and has over 20 years experience in working with people on grief, letting go, and personal empowerment. To order, send $34 (includes post age, handling, etc.), check payable to David Richo, T.O.P., Box 31207, Santa Barbara, CA 93130.

The 1987 National Lesbian and Gay Health Conference will be held at the Sheraton Universal Hotel in Los Angeles during the weekend of March 26-29, 1987. The conference, which will focus on lesbian and gay healthcare issues and include the Fifth National AIDS Forum will be sponsored by the National Lesbian and Gay Health Foundation, George Washington University Medical Cen ter and the Los Angeles Gay and Les bian Community Services Center. This year's conference will include strong programming on mental health, women's health, sexually transmitted diseases, youth health care, and the health care needs of lesbian and gay people of color. For information on the call for papers and registration contact Greg Thomas, at GWU Medical Center, 2300 K Street, N.W., Wash ington, D.C. 20037; (202) 676-4285.

CONDOM GUIDE Accurate information, down-to-earth language, and detailed explicit photos combine to make The Hot 'jn Healthy Times a gay man's best guide to the ins and outs of using con doms. Copies are $2.00, plus 50<t postage. Write: Froticus, Box 410503, San Francisco, CA 94141.

SPIRITUAL HEALING HEALTH SOURCEBOOK The National Lesbian and Gay Health Foundation (NLGHF), a non-profit educational foundation, plans to produce and publish its second Sourcebook on Lesblan/Gay Health >-are ancT AIDS Services . Like' the *‘1rst edition, published in 1984, this will provide a comprehensive listing of national and local lesbian/gay professional organizations and caucuses, national and commun ity based AIDS service organiza tions and providers, local health services, and individual practi tioners. In addition, the Sourcebook will contain a bibMography of books and articles that directly relate to issues of health care and service delivery to lesbians and gay men. Write: Sourcebook, '•GLHF, P.0. Box 6r'472 , Washington, D.C. 20035.

tmmiinf

SUCCESS

An American doctor has reported success in using a bone marrow transplant from a healthy identical twin to restore the immune system of an AIDS patient. The doctor, Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease at Bethesday, Maryland, Derformed bone marrow transplants from healthy identical twins on three patients, all males aged 26, 31 and 34. Three months after the marrow transplant, the 26-year-old male had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy for pro gressive Kaposi's sarcoma, and the 34-year-old also developed Kaposi's Sarcoma. But the 31-year-old patient "feels quite well" with an increase in the number of cells that fend off disease. He has been able to return to work. 10

After 18 successful years as an accountant, Ken Bower has begun working full-time as a teacher of spiritual healing. He offers work shops across the country in the healing arts as well as private treatments for individuals. Bower is a Master of Reiki, a Japanese healing science. He sees his role as a vital part of a larger trans formation in the gay movement. Ac cording to Bower, many gay men and lesbians have already made signifi cant life changes in response to the AIDS crisis. "We need to re affirm that spiritual part of our selves that many of us have forgot ten," says Bower. "I sincerely be lieve that as a community we have the strength to overcome AIDS." Write: 1235 North Larrabee St., Los Angeles, CA 90069; (213) 8557059.

FARM DEBT

HUNTERS POISON BIRDS

Tn a summary of its outlook and situation report, the USDA says farm debt-to-asset ratio is begin ning to stabilize a^ter worsening between 1.982 and 1085. rarm debt has been reduced by 22 billion dol lars from 1981 to 1986 and by the end of this year farmers will have completed four years of a six-year debt reduction and asset devalua tion process, the department said. Tn the next couple of years, fur ther improvement in debt-asset ratios may occur since farm produc tion expenses are dropping and are expected to remain low.

U.S. hunters continue to fight a national ban on lead shot despite the fact that while intentionally Killing 21 million waterfowl a year, hunters kill another two to three million birds by lead poison ing from the 2400 tons of the toxic shot which they shoot into water ways . The lead pellets bring a grisly death to the birds which in gest them.

RABBIT R^VENGF BIOREGIONAL PROJECT

PERMACULTURE YEARBOOK The most comprehensive edition of The International Permaculture Species Yearbook (TIPSY) has been published by Yankee Permaculture. The latest TIPSY includes articles on wetlands Permaculture, the farm debt, tree seeds, philosophical con siderations in a Permaculture life style, an index of 1000 useful plants, a "green pages" listing of 1000 organizations, and more. Cost is $15. Write: Yankee Permacul ture, P.0. Box 202, Orange, MA 91364.

CONSERVATION TILLAGE Conservation practices known as minimum-till and no-till are gain ing ground rapidly in the South east. From 1973 to 1984, farmers in the Southeastern states in creased their acreage to minimumtill by 275%, and boosted their acreage in no-till by 290%.

Bioregional Earth Stewardship (RES) aims to reverse the current world wide ecological situation. Project RES addresses the full range of basic human and planetary needs. Here is how the system works. To unify individuals within a given watershed, an association of land owners and land users forms an ecologically-sound master plan. This plan becomes the basis of a stewardship agreement that will be entered into with political inter ests within that region. The local association becomes the governing body of that region. Project BES tries to place as many small tracts of land as possible under the stewardship of single families, then gives these stewards the guidance, means and tools to develop a self-sufficient living center, '/rite: World Earth Stewardship foundation, 73073 Sunvalley Dr., ?9 Palms, CA 92277.

In Adelaide, Australia, two savage hunters tied an explosive to a rab bit's ears, lit the fuse and re leased the rabbit. The rabbit, quickly realizing her impending doom, ran to the hunters' brand-new truck and waited underneath. There soon followed a huge explosion that turned the truck into shrapnel and the rabbit into another rodent martyr.

SQUIRREL MONKFYWPFNCHES TV STATION A squirrel has achieved martyrdom for its heroic action against a Madison, Wisconsin, TV station. After weeks of boisterously chatter ing complaints to relevant person nel, the squirrel resorted to breaking into a substation trans mitter box where she fried herself, creating an immense power surge that burned out electrodes. The squirrel’s action stopped the station's broadcasting for a day.

WILDLIFE REFUGES POLLUTED "The conventional methods of re peatedly tilling the soil by plow ing, disking, harrowing or culti vating have been greatly reduced in favor of minimizing soil dis turbance and leaving plant residues on the field surface," says Lee Christensen, economist with the U.S. Department of Agriculture. The major reasons, he says, are more effective control of soil and water erosion, and higher profits. In general, conservation tillage systems perform best in areas with long growing seasons, but suitabil ity of soil is also critical. How ever, surveys show increases in pesticide use may range from 14% to 42%.

According to a recent national sur vey by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service of its National Wildlife Refuges, at least of Alaska's 16 refuges (and dozens of others throughout the U.S.) may be con taminated by hazardous wastes. The Kenai National Wildlife Refuge Is particularly polluted, and its Swanson River oil field is listed as one of the ten refuge sites most in need of clean-up. This oil field has polluted the Kenai Peninsula with refuse oil and PCBs. To make matters worse, the Kenai Borough Waste Commission wants to place a new waste site, including a solid waste incinerator, inside Kenai Refuge.

SCOUTS CLASH WITH BEARS This summer there were several en counters between black bears and Roy Scouts in the Sangre de Chris tos near the Philmont Scout Ranch, Cimmarron, New Mexico. At one Philmont camp, bears were attracted to the scouts' tents by the odors of food and colognes. The scouts suffered minor injuries from claws and teeth; but the State Game and Fish Dept, (though officials ad mitted the bears had no malicious intent) trapped and murdered the curious bears. To protest this wanton slaying of their comrades, other bears temporarily disrupted the water supply to the Philmont Scout Resort.

CHERNOBYL CONTINUES

CHrRNPRYL

The short-term consequences of Chernobyl are devastating to the Samis (popularly known as Lapps) in Sweden and Norway. Reindeer and fish, staples of their livelihood, have been contaminated. "The Sami reindeer are being killed and buried in ditches," according to Northern Sun News. "Their flesh contains high amounts of radio active cesium, which the animals ingested from lichen that soaked up rain made hot by Chernobyl fall out. In addition the Sami cannot eat fish taken from lakes in this region. About 20 of the 54 Sami villages in Sweden have been af fected. The situation is similar in Norway to the west, where Samis have killed and buried 18,000 rein deer ."

Dr. Robert Gale, the bone marrow specialist who treated Chernobyl victims in the Soviet Union, said that according to a report re1eased by the Soviet government, "the amount of radiation released from the accident is at least equal to if not greater than the amount of radi ation released by the bombs at Hiro shima and Nagasaki."

Meanwhile, the U.S. nuclear indus try and its friends in the govern ment seek to create a more favor able climate for commercial nuclear power. The nuclear interests seek to extend the Price-Anderson Act, which limits the utilities' and government's liability for nuclear accidents. At the same time the Nuclear Regulatory Commission pro poses to loosen the standards for exposure to radiation for the public and nuclear facility em ployees, and Congress is consider ing nuclear licensing "reform" legislation to exclude public par ticipation in the process of siting and building nuclear reactors. The nuclear industry and government agencies in America downplay any similarities to Chernobyl by taking the position that our machines are better than their machines. As Soviet Yuri Medvedev warns in Peace News, "Your people mustn't fncfuTgeTn the illusion that your American reactors are not ready for their own accidents."

CHERNOBYL IMPLICATIONS HIDDEN While we hear from the mainstream press that only about 75 people, and no Americans, have died or will die from effects of the Chernobyl nuclear plant disaster, and that U.S. reactors are safer, these claims hide the truth. In reality, Chernobyl will kill many more peo ple in the long run, and more sig nificantly, it has already killed nearby trees and migratory birds who were passing near Chernobyl when the accident occurred. Also, the ac cident poisoned thousands of rein deer in Scandanavia, upon which Lap landers depend for their sustenance. Alarmingly, anti-nuclear investiga tors have learned that Chernobyl was probably safer than many U.S. reac tors. Its containment vessel was about twice as thick as that of such U.S. reactors as the Shearon Harris plant, now being built in central North Carolina. The con tainment at Chernobyl, contrary to many early reports, was substantial, designed to withstand pressures that are comparable to those in many American reactors.

SILKWOOD SETTLEMENT

WORST NUKE PLANTS Eight unsafest nuclear plants in the U.S. have been named by the "nion of roncerned Scientists (26 Church St., Cambridge, MA 02288), all the same design as Three Mile Island Unit 2. They are: TMI 1, navis-Bess, Rancho Secon, Crystal °iver, Arkansas 1 and Oconee 1 , 2 , and 3. Union also reminds us that contrary to "it can't happen here" press reports, Chernobyl did have a containment structure.

The Kerr-McGee Corp. and the heirs of Karen Silkwood reached an outof court settlement Aug. 22 in which Kerr-McGee agreed to pay 1.38 million. The settlement end ed 10 years of litigation. Karen Silkwood worked at KerrMcGee' s Cimarron, Oklahoma, 'Pluto nium processing plant, where she was a union official. In TQ74 Silkwood was contaminated with plutonium. She was killed in a suspicious auto c»-ash Nov. n , in7t, while driving to deliver in formation to a *'ew York T imes re porter. 12

The death toll from radiation-induced cancer from the Chernobyl ac cident is expected to reach 5300 eventually, according to U.S. ex perts. While the blasts at Hiro shima and Nagasaki killed about 100,000 people, the radiation from the bombs caused cancer in 500 to 1000 survivors. While the Soviet report says the "radiologic consequences" of the accident were "insignificant," U.S. experts examining the data say they would expect at least 10,000 cases of thyroid cancer alone from the radiation that escaped, with 1500 fatali ties. The report says that some plant neighbors received 6P times the an nual dose allowed for nuclear plant employees. It took a week to com plete the evacuation of an 18-mile area around the plant. Radiation levels at some spots in the vicinity will still be 2500 times normal a year after the accident.

RADON Radon is a gaseous, radioactive element, a decay product of ura nium and radium, which occur nat urally 1n various environments. If there is uranium or radium un der your home, it will decay and give off radon, which may seep in to your home through basement walls. The radon decays to become other, solid radioactive elements. Inhaling the radon or the decay elements increases the chances of getting lung cancer. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has equated the lung cancer risk of radon at a concentration of 4 picocuries per liter to smoking one-hal* pack of cigarettes per day. The rPA says the average home has a radon concentration of about one picocurie per liter. Radon levels build up in v/el 1 - insulated homes, especially those with in adequate ventilation.

NUCLEAR INSURANCE

UNSAFE OHIO PLANT

Three nuclear reform groups issued a report Sept. 27 which said nuclear utilities can afford to insure them selves and should not be insured at bargain rates by the federal govern ment under the Price-Anderson Act. Price-Anderson limits liability from a nuclear power plant accident to a fraction of the potential damages, according to the govern ment's own estimates. The report said that accident costs could be covered by requiring nuclear utilities to pay into a compensation pool following an accident. It also stated that utilities spend more than $12 on insuring their nuclear plants for every $1 they spend on insurance to compensate potential accident victims.

A report on the Fernald uranium refinery in Ohio, issued by a U.S. House subcommittee in late Septem ber, concludes that "It appears from these documents that the Dept, of Energy is incapable of assuring the public's health and safety." The Fernald plant, located northwest of Cincinnati, produces uranium metal for use in nuclear weapons. It is operated by Westinghouse and owned by the Dept, of Energy (DOE).

NUKED REINDEER Officials in Sweden order inspection of all reindeer meat for sale be cause a high percentage has been found to be contaminated with radiation from the Chernbbyl acci dent. Fallout from the accident covered deer grazing areas. A state inspector predicted that up to 70% of the 70,000 reindeer scheduled to be slaughtered would be contaminated in excess of standards.

X-RAYS A study reported in the New Engl and Journal of Medicine estimates that diagnostTc X-rays may be causing 1% of breast cancer and leukemia cases in the U.S., which amounts to about 1000 extra cancers per year. The article maintained that doctors should make sure the benefit of an X-ray outweighs the risk before ordering it.

RADIATION EXPERIMENTS Over 100 prison volunteers from Washington and Oregon were ir radiated in the 1960s and 1970s in radiation experiments funded by the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission. A report titled Effects of Radia tion on the Human Testes was re leased Sept. 22 to the Hanford Health Effects Panel. The volun teers' testes were irradiated with X-rays to study how reproductive functions would be affected.

The documents referred to showed that, among other things: some areas of the plant were so radio active a worker could have received an entire year's allowed radiation dose in five hours; workers taking radiation monitoring badges home could have contaminated their homes with the badges; 187 workers have radiation doses to their lungs over the limit set by the DOE. In addition to current problems at the plant, documents have revealed a disregard for the safety and health of the public and workers through out the 25-year lifetime of the plant. Losses of uranium from 1956 to 1961 into a stream flowing out of plant property totaled 39,100 pounds. Plant officials knew in 1960 that radioactive waste leaked from dis posal pits into the groundwater but never publicly acknowledged the problem. The six pits hold 11 million pounds of radioactive and other toxic wastes and are located above the Great Miami Aquifer, a major drinking water source.

EE T I N G S

GAY SPIRITUALITY Tayu Center, a Fourth Way Spiritual School, will be sponsoring the second annual Conference on Gay Spirituality on January 23rd through 25th at Shared Visions Cen ter in Berkeley, CA. COGS is a multifaceted exploration of the role of gay people in spiritual life. Gay spiritual leaders from across the country will gather to gether to offer workshops and panel discussions to explore the emerging Gay Spirit in today's society. Last year's speakers included Don Kilhefner of the Radical Faerie Movement; Z. Budapest of Susan B. Anthony Coven Number One; Tayu Mas ter Hassein (Daniel Tnesse); Judy Grahn, lesbian poet; and Zen Master Tundra Wind, Founder/Director of the River Zen Group. For further information contact: COGS, P.0. Box 11554, Santa Rosa, CA 95406; (707) 887-2490. TROPICAL RAINFORESTS "Tropical Rainforests: Strategies for Wise Management," a 4-day con ference, will be held Feb. 5-8, 1987, on the Colorado Univ. Boulder campus. Registration fees are $15 per day or $30 for all four days. For info: CU Environmental Center, UMC 331, Campus Box 207, Univ. of Colorado, Boulder, CO 80309; (303) 492-8308.

CALL FOR SHUTDOWNS DRAG BENEFIT The Critical Mass Energy Project, a Washington-based organization founded by Ralph Nader, called for a shut-down of all U.S. nuclear power plants. It issued a report written by Joshua Gordon that states, "The likelihood and conse quences of an accident, so dramat ically demonstrated by the Cherno byl disaster, strongly argue for rapidly phasing out the nation's nuclear power program." The report documents problems at U.S. nuclear plants, including ten serious accidents such as loss of radioactive and the indefinite shut down of nine plants. 13

The Imperial rourt System of North America will be honored at "Night o f a Thousand Gowns," a tribute to the pioneering role of drag in the ■esbian and gay communities Satur day, March 27, in the Grand Ball room of the Waldorf Astoria in New vork City. This first national charity ball hopes to attract 3000 attendees from throughout the U.S. and Canada to raise S5D0,000 for several national gay and lesbian or ganizations primarily concerned with AIDS funding and gay civil rights, ''rite: Might of a Thousand Gowns, 106% Lexington Ave., New York, NY 10016.

COUPLES NETWORK

GENDER FREEDOM GROUP

The concept of an organization for and by couples spread quickly from Long Beach, California to all parts of the U.S. and beyond. The Couples National Network now serves as the umbrella organization for its member-groups around the world. The Network currently includes groups in the Allowing states: Georgia, Nebraska, Ghio, Arizona, Texas, Washington, California. Write: Couples National Network, 343 Orizaba Ave. fiC, Long Beach, CA G081.4.

Transvestites, transsexuals, andro gynes, etc. for networking and sup port among peoples wishing to be free of restrictive gender roles. For information: Support Group, Asheville, NC, (704) 253-9882.

GAY COUPLES Short articles and commentary are sought for Partners: The Newsletter for Gay and LesMan Coup!es. Of particular interest are personal stories of past and present rela tionships, as well as informational articles on legal, sexual, financial and counselling concerns for gay families. The newsletter, edited by life part ners Stevie Bryant and Demian, is a resource and forum offering timely and concise news, features, media notes and interviews. Its stated purpose: "Partners aims to provide practical informaTTon and ideas to help gay men and lesbians develop and sustain relationships that are strong, satisfying and successful." Partners is an eight-page monthly, avail abl e only by subscription for $36 per year. To submit material or subscribe, write Partners, Box 9685, Seattle, WA 98109.

GAY VETS MARCH The Gay Veterans Association final ly got approval to march in New York City's Veterans' Day Parade, "he mayor's office intervened in the 2-year struggle with the Gay Vets. GVA has about 200 members nationwide.

GAY NEW AGE

GAY COPS

Choose the New Age is an organiza tion of lesbians and gay men who choose both their sexuality and their power, who teach love by example, and who want to share with other like spirits. Their first project is a newsletter and they solicit poetry and prose describing the spiritual experience of les bians and gay men. Later projects will include manifestations in other arts, special interest groups, buying co-ops, and a spiritual retreat center/community. Write: CTNA, 1 North First St., Suite 120, Box 89, San Jose, CA 95113.

The Gay Officers Action League, Inc. (GOAL) is a professional and social organization of women and men who are or were employees of the agencies of the Criminal Jus tice System.

HOLISTIC INSTITUTE The Elmwood Institute was bounded to help fac1litate the shi^t from a mechanistic and patriarchal world view to a holistic and ecological view. Its member share the convic tion that the *inal decades o f this century must be shaoed by an eco logical world view if we are to sur vive. Through small gatherings, conferences, publications, and other projects, the Hmwood Insti tute hopes to cross-fertilize new ideas, nurture ecological visions, and apply those visions and ideas to the solution of social, economic, environmental and political prob lems. Functions of the Elmwood In stitute include: a forum for ecothinking, a bridge between ideas and action, and a place of inspiration and support. For info: Elmwood In stitute, P.0. Box 5805, Berkeley, CA 94705; (415) 848-1127

PHILATELISTS, NUMISMATISTS, ETC. The International Journal, a publ ication of tlie Gertrude Stein Philatelic Society, is dedicated to the promotion, communication, and understanding of collecting hobbies. Tt includes personal and swan ads. Contact: Gertrude ^tein "hilatelic Society, p .O. Box 14665, San Francisco, 94114.

GOAL is now establishing a non-mem ber category of affiliation as well. Individuals and organiza tions on the Friends of GOAL mail ing list receive a copy of their newsletter, a certificate, a lapel pin, a logo shoulder patch, and an opportunity to participate on com mittees and special functions. For info: Richard Walters, 470 2nd Ave., Apt. 20A, New York, NY 10Q16, (212) 206-8142.

POSITIVE MAGIC The Franz Bardon Foundation is a nonprofit organization dedicated to disseminating information on Her metic (Egyptian) positive magic to the public. Inquiries welcome. P.0. Box 4869, Denver, CO 80204. 14

GAY YOUTH An International Pink Youthquake shook Oslo last August as nearly 100 gay Boys and Girls (self-titled) attended the Third International Gay and Lesbian Youth Congress. The conference drew youths between the ages of 16 to 27 from 17 coun tries, including Japan and the U.S. Last year's conference was held in Dublin, where homosexuality is il legal. Next year's conference is scheduled for London to protest their discriminatory age of consent laws (16 for heterosexuals, 21 for gay men). In Oslo they were wel comed warmly by the mayor as he donated the city's largest confer ence facilities in accordance with the equal opportunities policy. The Gay/Lesbian Youth Organization (IGLYO) has repeatedly shown much more bravado than their big sister/ brother organization, the Inter national Lesbian/Gay Association, as it routinely calls for the abolition of all age of consent laws (something ILGA refuses to back) and the teaching of homo sexuality in schools. Expressing its dissatisfaction with the sys tem, the group calls the system "educastration."

CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY

MEW ALLIANCE PARTY

An in-patient chemical dependency unit for gay men and lesbians, the second in the nation and the first on the West Coast, has been opened in Portland, Oregon, by a major na tional health care corporation. Right Step Recovery Program began processing its first clients in October into the 32-bed unit which includes a predominantly gay/lesb1an management, staff and treatment plan. The gay community has tra ditionally been ignored for its special lifestyle needs and issues by the health care industry. Adminitrator Christopher Fskeli said that addressing sexuality, home li*e, and related social issues like AIDS and discrimination are an in tegral part of the Right Step ap proach. Right Step is located 72 miles from northwest Portland along the Willamette River in a comfort able wooded setting. Patients at Right Step go through a 12-step re covery program similar to the Minnesota Model during an approxi mate 21-day stay at the center. The program provides family treatment with the special needs of alterna tive gay families in mind. It can include the parental family, gay partner, spouse or children. Write: Hr. Christopher rskeli, Right Step Recovery Program, 17645 N.W. St. Helens poad, Portland, OR R7231. Call: 1-800-221-9053; in Oregon, 1-603-621-3201.

The New Alliance Party (see RFD #44 Feature) has begun a lobbying effort to develop legislation to make in dependent candidates easier. The current restriction for ballot qualifications make it extremely difficult for any candidate outside the two major parties to get on state ballots. Write: New Alliance Party, 216 W. 102nd St., *2C, New York, NY 10025. The Rainbow Lobby working on the policy is at 236 Massachusetts Ave. NE, #409, Wash ington, D.C. 20002. C A R R Y I T ON 1 9 8 7 P E A C E CAL E NDAR

SUPPORT POR r|_nPRLY Or. A.J. Lucco, Asst. ^ed. Div. of the Lovindale Geriatric Center in Baltimore, has developed a listing of organizations and services for older gay men and lesbians in this country. The listings are broken down by state. Write: Dr. A. J. Lucco, 2434 '•/. Belvedere Ave., Baltimore, MD 21215.

Gil Gerald, a founding member of the National Coalition of Black Les bians and Gays (NCBLG), resigned to "pursue new personal and pro fessional challenges." He has ac cepted an offer to be the Director of Minority Affairs of the National AIDS Network. Michelle Parkerson, NCBLG's cochair, said "Gil's leader ship has been pivotal to the life and progress of NCBLG over the past three years. In his wake, the organization is stronger, more visible and fertile for the momentum of a new executive director." NCBLG, a network of 3000 people, is an autonomous, national Black Lesbian and Gay membership organization, with local chapters in several cities. For info: NCBLG, 930 F St., N.W., Suite 514, Washington, D.C. 20004; (202) 737-5276.

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SPRING GATHERING

TAYU CENTER

BLACK GAY ORGANIZATIONAL CHANGE

I9 8 7 includes .i silk screen on Nicaragua from Shock Battalion, a gorgeous mural by Daniel Galvez and Keith Sklar giving trib u te to the uncom promising w o rk o f our m usicians, dancers actors and poets; an oil painting of the four women m a rty rs In E l Satvaik* try Marion C Honors, CSJ and a photointlage on South Africa by Miranda Bergman 14*11 haded K ttti edition By mail $ 9 70. 3 / $ 2 6 S / $ 4 0 No Pa s.ir.ui is July calendar art and also a liandmade silkscreen print, by mail $27. SO Pull cotor catalog o f 7 S p o ste rs hoi ■day cards i atendais SOC Wtmtasale wek nme Syracuse C uHiit.il W orkers. Bo* 6 3 8 7 S y r* cuse. NY 13217. (315) 47 4 1132

Tayu Center is a Fourth Way Spirit ual School, founded in 1976 by Daniel Inesse, spiritual heir of Fourth Way Master E.J. Gold. The primary Tayu practice is a special form of meditation called Self-ob servation. This practice reveals the true nature and inner workings of the human organism, making it possible to restructure the aware ness to provide full and uninter rupted access to True Mind. Tayu Center offers a special outreach to gay people and is currently in volved in the organization of the 2nd annual Conference on Gay Spirituality scheduled for the end of January 1987. Other Tayu ac tivities include a regular Sunday meditation at the Santa Rosa Cen ter, and a Thursday evening study group that meets in San Francisco. For info: Tayu Center--A Fourth Way Spiritual School, P.0. Box 11554, Santa Rosa, CA 95406; (707) 887-2490. 15

Short Mountain Sanctuary in central Tennessee will host its "Rites of Spring and Beltane Bash" on April 23 through May 3. This is a faerie gathering for lesbians, gay men, and children. Write: Short Moun tain Sanctuary, Rt. 1 Box 98A, Liberty, TN 37095.

AUSTRALIAN FESTIVAL The three-week Sydney Gay Mardi Gras Festival will run from February 6, 1987, to March 1, 1987. The 1987 Mardi Gras Festival will Include a gay film festival, an art, craft, and photography exhibition, poetry readings, theater performances, and a variety of social and sporting events. The aim of the Festival is to involve the gay and lesbian com munity throughout Sydney and the State of New South Wales. On Feb. 21 the 10th annual Gay Mardi Gras Parade will march through the streets of Sydney. Write: Sydney Gay Mardi Gras Association Inc., P.0. Box 1064, Dariinghurst, NSW 2010, Australia; telephone (02) 332 4088.

New Words, New Music by Franklin Abbott

PILLSHAW

o z 2 0 > UJ

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feminist singer, encouraged Elliot and Lorin Sklamberg to perform together at a Men's Conference (a conference of anti-sexist men working against sexism and homophobia). Elliot and Lorin soon became a duo and began touring throughout the United States and Canada.

eels 1 ike Home is the new Lp from ETTTot Pilshaw on Iceberg Records. Elliot was featured in the Fall 1084 issue of RFD. Since then he has continued to expand his career. His new album features songs by Noel Toward, Willie Sordill, and Holly Near. His accompanist on fiiano is John ^ucchino.

After two and a half years of work toqether, Elliot and Lorin parted with differing musical goals. Elliot moved to Boston. In 1985 he met Tom Wilson Weinberg and became part of the first production of the "Ten Percent Revue" in San Francisco, Boston and most recently for a summer sold-out run in Provincetown on Cape Cod.

Elliot Pilshaw has worked as an openly gay singer and songwriter for over six years. He began his musical life in high school participating in the chorus, and acting in plays. His goal of professional acting was discouraged by family who thought entertainment a financially insecure career. Elliot went off to be足 come something else and ended up a singer. Some things are just meant to be.

Elliot's release of Feels Like Home marks a new staqe in his career. Aiming for national and international exposure in the gay community as both a solo and a collaborating performer, Elliot will be touring exten足 sively to promote this new LP. "I use my music to em足 power gay people and eliminate oppression. We deserve high quality entertainment that celebrates and affirms our 1 ives."

Elliot brought music to his gay political commitment in 1980. Two key events influenced this new involve足 ment for Hliot. First, he was exposed to "women's music," music that affirms women's lives, gay and straight, at the time he "came out." "I connected the personal and political and felt I had the power to change things." The second influence was the emerging men's movement. Charlie Murphy, a gay and

Feels Like Home is available from Iceberg Records, 107 E. Buffalo St., Suite 501, Milwaukee, WI 53202, for $7.95. 16

onditlons, poems by Essex Hemphill, is a new release from Be Bop Books. It is a collection of recent poems written from a black gay perspective, dealing with themes of sexuality, power, racism, love, pain, hope--inner landscaoes based on direct experi ence with the all too real world of double oppression.

Don't let it be loneliness that kills us. If we must die on the frontline let us die men loved by both sexes.

Essex Hemphill is a resident of Washington, D.C., where he has made his home for over twenty years. His poetry has appeared in Essence, Callaloo, Rites , B1ack Scholar, Blacklight, Blackheart ,~Targoyl e , James White Re view, Mouth of the Dragon, Obsidian, BlacF~African Literature Forum, and other publications. His poetry is anthologized in The Poet Upstairs; Natives, Tour ists & Other MyiTeries; Art 7^ gainst Apartheid, and In The Life--A~Bla'ck G’ay AnthoTogy. He is the recipient of two EeTlowships in Literature from the D.C. Commission for the Arts, and a recipient of a 1986 Fellowship in Poetry from the National Enment for the Arts.

Don't let it be envy that drives us to suck our thumbs or shoot each other dead over snake eyes. Let us not be dancing with the wind on heavy corners tattered by doom. Let us not accept partial justice. If we bel1eve our 1 1ves are priceless we can't be conquered. If we must die on the frontl1ne don't let loneliness kill us.

Mail order copies of Conditions from Be Bop Books, Farragut Sta tion, Box 33085, Washington, D.C. 10033, for $7.00.

- Essex Hemphill etween the Worlds is an album on cassette 'Ey-Rark Geisler. It is all original folk music composed by Geisler, and was recorded at his home 1n Seattle, Washington. All the arrangements, Instrumentation, vocals, and production in general was done by Geisler, except for the lyric booklet which was designed and typed by a very generous entity who wishes to remain unknown. The music deals with life, death, dreams, AIDS, Paganism, mysticism, and a whole slew of things. There is something here for everyone. Mark is a 26-year-old gay man who has lived in the Seattle area for the last 2H years. He was a student of Wicca for many years, and much of the music was influenced by this period In his life. He grew up in New England, and in h1s adult life has made his home in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, Atlanta, Georgia, and now in Seattle. He makes his living at an office job and works with music primarily because he loves to do it. He has been writing songs since the age of 14, though most of them have been written during his stay in Seattle. 17

he Crossing Press has released two new titles of interest to gay men and other homophiles. Crossing Press editor and poet John Gill (see profile in RFD Winter 1984) has joined with artist Carlos (Carlos' drawings, photos, and poems have of ten been featured in RFD) in pro ducing Erotic Poems from the Greek Anthology. This is a sensual and delightfully fresh '^ook of homoerot ic poetry from classical Greece.

The album is available on cassette only, and comes with the lyric booklet. It is approximately one hour in running time, and the price is $8.50 (which includes shipping and handling). It can be ordered from: Thoryan Productions, P.0. Box 9581, Seattle, WA 98109.

aeburn Miller's Millenary was reviewed in Booklist as follows :

The book is a collection of 45 homoerotic poems taken from the best of The Greek Anthology and enhanced by Carlos' superb drawings of the male nude.

"If Cavafy could be crossed with Emily Dickinson, Raeburn Miller might be the result. The broad learning subtly expressed, the concision and epigrammatic with, the abrupt turns ^pSgipJL/ ■vX^T'lv and quirky twists, and, above all, the intelligence and poignancy--they1re all here. Rut the comparison is unfair, for M i11er is a true original , his range of subjects broader than either and old-fashioned yet completely up-to-date at the same time. Among many other things, these poems con sider the meaning of tattoos; how northerners and southerners approach heat; S W sex; AIDS and suicide; nonattendance at Sunday service; Midas, Medusa, and other mythical figures, and winter wasps. Beyond the bright surfaces and amid the abundant wit and humor, however, there lurks a modern moralist, unsententious but keenly attuned to the abiding sig nificance and relevance of God (or the concept of the deity), and, not unlike Francis Thompson, searching for the meaning of it all down the labyrinthine ways. Bracing stuff." i

b"'

The Pa1antine or Greek Anthology is a collection of short Greek poems gathered from its long literary history, starting in the 7th Century B.C. and extend ing through the Hellenistic period to about the 2nd Century A.D. The Greeks were sophisticated and frank in expression --they literally had words for everything. They were also tender and loving, describing and defining the whole gamut of male-male relationships. Not surprisingly, these poems speak to us today across the centuries--new words in our ears as clear and as powerful as when they were first spoken. 16 of the poems are translated from Strato's Musa Puerilis. Strato's work has been largely ignored by translators because he was thought to be too gross. He is, however, refreshingly modern, a strong blunt poet who loved young men wholeheartedly.

Carlos

Raeburn Miller, a Texan by origin, has been on the faculty of the Department of Fngllsh of the Univer sity of New Orleans since 1960. He is currently Associate nean of the graduate school. He has published poetry in a wide variety of journals, in cluding RFD. Millenary is h1s first full-size collection. IT is available for $6.00 from NOPJ Press, 2131 General Pershing, New Orleans, LA 70115. A sample from the book:

There's a certain young man called "The Serpent" who's sly and handsome. But since he's a serpent how does he take another serpent into his hole? - strato

Carlos

is such a well turned word-I make conversation at parties about them when I see them, and am always caught up in those same details whether followed by pride or regret or curiously both, a onetime sailor's halfdramatic sense of the flesh and what it leaves us.

The numerical value of the letters in "anus" and gold is the same. I found this out once reckoning it up casually. - strato 18

nother new book from the Crossing Press is The Love Poems, lQ40-tQ85, by the well-known gay poet, Harold Norse. This volume is a summing up of four and a half decades of work by a poet who is one of the major talents of our time. It contains all of Norse's major love poems from 1940-1085. Harold Norse started his career in New York City in the forties as W.H. Auden's friend and secretary. Here he met and associated with a whole new generation of poets, novelists and playwrights: Allen Ginsberg, Paul Goodman, Frank O'Hara, Tennessee Williams and others. From 1953-1968 Norse lived in Europe, travÂ eling, writing and translating. Since 1968 he has lived on the West Coast. He has had numerous readings both in the U.S. and abroad, been published in many anthologies, been awarded a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship and is presently under contract with a major publishÂ er for his memoirs. These titles and others from the Crossing Press are widely available at quality bookstores or by writing the Crossing Press, Trumansburg, NY 14886. Erotic Poems from the Greek Anthology Is available for $6.95 pi us TT.OG handling. Love Poems is available for $9.95 plus $1.on handling.

the wind hurls through the straits white ruffs on greenblue water I will cross to Spain your bag is packed for the bus to Mel ilia back to the Rif

A T T k ir =

I see your mountain hut the scrawny sheep rugged Berber tribesmen scrape in the fields you will scrape

the moment widens--your voice VAST across the room--my head explodes into con scious speed an ache shoots along the nerve of my left eyes pushing to the center above my nose-your browngold skin dance flute laugh yes everything lives because I love you ALL levels at once brain flickers nosebridge pinches bright cells full of happening this can not FND

bye bye Mouniria so long kid

the boat slid from the dock into nothing

watched the sprayed wake churn green silk water peaks till mist twisted the white town--a face followed flashing sand ft wind ft cheap hotels--a face will follow voices cities ft after a year or two 1 'll grab a boat on a water chain pul U n g me back to turn me on agai n

Healing Outside The System by James Martin "Complications have developed," is the second most commonly used phrase in western medicine; it comes right after, "Do you have insurance?" With our cur rent Techno-medicine, Inc., there is never enough in surance, and too many complications. Allopathy is the prevailing mode of medicine. Allopathy frequently results in "iatrogenesis," which means, neurosis or physical disorder caused by diagnosis and/or manner of treatment by a physician or surgeon.

Currently, there is a big rush to hop on the AIDS BANDWAGON . . . medical "researchers" call for more money. Cure, is a vague promise, contingent on time and money. Well-intentioned celebrities are persuaded to hold benefits, and millions of dollars are raised. The money buys more animals for medical mutilation, more lab equipment; expensive office suites are set up anH salaried staffs are hired to push papers, punch computers, and take coffee breaks. Meanwhile, many an AIDS victim is reduced to abject poverty and socially ostracized. Bereft of hope, health and home, they live and die in neglect, in the basement . . . while upstairs, the staff is taking its coffee break, researchers poison monkeys and in the penthouse, the stars meet and have cocktails.

Increasing and irreparable damage accompanies current industrial expansion. Iatrogenesis is clinical, when pain, sickness and death results from medical care. Iatrogenesis is social when health policies reinforce an industry that generates ill health. Iatrogenesis becomes cultural when medically sponsored practices restrict the vital autonomy of a people by undermining self-reliance, the ability to care for each other, and the personal tools of imagination. The most profound effects of the medical techno-structure are suffering, helplessness, and isolation from each other in a world turned into a hospital ward. People are de prived of the ability to cope with nature, and dreams are devaluated as Idle and become impotent and vague hopes, bereft of vigor and focus.

The glittering herd on its way into a benefit at The Century Plaza in LA . . . big names, little names, sequins and concern, to benefit AIDS . . . exactly, to benefit AIDS . . . but, what of the AIDS victim? Let them eat Jell-o, and hospital food, and the victims become numbers in the column called, "growth indus try." People with feelings and histories, become mere statistics. Like the Viet Nam casualties shown each night on Walter Cronkite's news broadcasts. People dead become numbers, and those numbers are used to further alms that are self-serving; the num bers translate as dollars. AIDS is used by funda mentalists to reinforce hatred and with apparent de light, they point to AIDS as god's judgement on gays. AIDS is being used as a pitchfork in some cases, aimed at gay "practices" . . . sexual transmission, they affirm, is the mode by which this virus enters into the body and destroys the immune system . . . SEX . . . SEX . . . SEX . . . is the big buzz word, obscuring other possibilities.

The cynical and mercenary attitude of Medicine, Inc., was made all too clear recently on national television . . . a news reporter, covering the opening of an AIDS hospital in Texas, quoted the Medical Industry's view on AIDS: "It is the fastest growth industry in medi cine." AIDS, a growth industry!!! Medicine should be in the business of putting itself out of business; yet, in the past 30 years, in spite of the billions poured into research, cancer has increased. There is GOLD in them there ills. AIDS continues its ravaging march, while researchers fiddle and quibble. They pique and bristle among themselves, vying for pre eminence-elbowing each other out of the way in the mad dash to the vaccine copyright office. The real sickness here, is greed. The power of a demi-god . . . resentful and condescending towards "civilian" questioning, and handing out death-sentences with smug impunity. And we, the people, conditioned to ig norance, allow our "betters" to tell us how to live and when to die.

Other possibilities . . . for example: THE SKY IS FALLING . . . scientists admit that there are now mas sive holes in the ozone shield that surrounds our planet . . . the holes are the result of industrial "progress" . . . The shield, heretofore protected life from the harmful effects of ultra-violet rays from the sun . . . rays that cause: blindness, skin cancer, and SUPPRESS THE IMMUNE SYSTEM . . . Silicon Valley, California . . . workers in the so-called 20

healing properties . . . Mother Earth . . . The Goddess, The Virgin Merry . . . SHE provides, not the A&P . . . SHE heals, not the scientists . . . and SHE restores, not the churches . . . her green is the real wealth. But, first and above all else, healing is dependent on the mind. Mind creates what it be lieves; mind wills and by the power of will, mind can possess and become source. The mind is the most divine machine ever created . . . it is an instrument of creation in itself . . . yet so little of that mind power is utilized. The "why" may be found in the blinders of social conditioning that derides will-full as anti-social . . . and systematically and with malice, we are told by our "betters" that we have limits . . . that we are small things, and that "reality" is all there is, inside the iron triangle. And, the oak tree is forever clamped shut inside the acorn. Will is the key to mind source. Will, or lack thereof, determines each individual's access to the source. Healing, like love, is a simple thing, but the mind must strip away the wretched excess of a society that imposes upon us layer upon layer of complications and illogical procedures until the mind is weighed-down under a waxy build-up of false Im pressions, and, as such, does Indeed become a small thing, estranged from power, from neighbor and nature.

safe industry of computer chips are turning up with T-cell damage which translates as an immune system that goes haywire because of foreign toxins . . . and eventually that immune system breaks down completely . . . many AIDS victims have absorbed guilt and shame because of the AIDS/SEX link-up . . . society con demns the victim and not the disease . . . and yet, from LOVE CANAL to SILICON VALLEY, it is empirically clear that industry has flushed its toilet in the public's backyard. The immune system is being destroyed now by simply drinking the water, or sun ning at the beach . . . and Medicine, Inc., as the mouthpiece of industry becomes the "expert" witness, pointing the finger to the cause as anti-social prac tices, yet giving only cursory lip service to the in dustrial practices that destroy the immune system and barely noticing the growing evidence of the swine fever/AIDS connection. Perhaps it is a porkchop and not a penis that kills.* We, the people, are surrounded by and contained with in an iron triangle, formed by religion/science/government . . . at its center, money and power are wor shipped . . . information is bent and sent out the TV tube . . . disinformation, newspeak and a cloak called "national security" is invoked to conceal chicanery; we are, in short, being kept in the dark ages . . . only truth can make us free, and perhaps it takes a system so blatantly mad and bent on selfdestruction to cause the mind to at last cry, "enough!!" But, without the system, what is there? What there is, is a whole universe of possibilities . . . remember . . . "My father's house has many mansions." In other words, with the whole universe available, why settle for Newark? Outside the tri angle is a whole world of wonder and magic that has been systematically hidden from us and denied as "un real," "unscientific," "foolish" . . . it is a world without sharp edges and elbows . . . it has no banks or steel walls, no tech-NO-LOGIC instruments of Medicine, Inc. It is a world of endless power that leaves no toxic fuel fumes behind. It is strength without bloodshed and love without price . . . that world is beheld in the mind and kept and nurtured in the bosom of nature.

Nature provides the remedies that can reach the source of dis-ease. Homeopathy studies the particular healing properties of herbs and their application to specific ailments. The blood is the source . . . healing begins when toxins are eliminated from the bloodstream . . . when the river runs clean, every thing it touches will be renewed. Hemoglobin is that element in the blood that conveys oxygen to the tis sues; when hemoglobin becomes impaired, it fails its function. The result 1s a reduction in red corpuscles and oxygen deprivation to the tissues . . . anemia is the first result and eventually a breakdown in the immune system. De-vitalized hemoglobin then is the root cause of dis-ease . . . and it is CHLOROPHYLL that can infuse the bloodstream with vitality and repair the hemoglobin. The structures of chlorophyll and hemoglobin are almost identical, so chlorophyll can do the job of hemoglobin and allow the depleted blood to build-up the red corpuscle reserve which carries the life-giving oxygen. In his book, The Cause and Prevention of Cancer, Dr. Otto Warburg (Nobel Prize Winner, 1931) concluded that "oxygen deprivation was a major cause of cancer, and that with a steady supply of oxygen to all cells, cancer can be prevented, indefinitely." The first step is to eliminate the causes of oxygen deprivation: shallow breathing, alcohol, drugs (both over-the-counter and under), high-fat foods, overly-cooked foods, excessive protein, and smoking. Greens, deep breathing, excercise and raw vegetable juices will flood the blood with oxygen, and help keep the hemoglobin in balance with both white and red corpuscles . . . natural, simple, basic, these are the heart of a cure . . . pure, natural, gentle . . . no pills, no metallic cold therapy . . . simple . . . natural . . . as natural as the Earth . . . as basic as the axiom, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. Even the U.S. government, in its 1982 report, Diet, Nutrition, and Cancer, singles out meat, dairy products and otherTHolesterol-rich foods as contributing to cancer.

Currently, Nature is under seige. She is being nuked, puked, tarred and de-feathered. But she prevails and is available . . . we can, simply by an act of will, turn ourselves back to her and her simply fantastic * Currently in Belle Glade, Florida, researchers are investigating a possible link between swine fever and AIDS. Does pork carry the virus? That is the focus of the research. Until that question is settled, the sale of pork should be suspended. The health of a nation is its real security, so tainted pork becomes a threat to national security. The U.S. Department of Agriculture, which, ostensibly, works in the public's interest, not only HAS NOT called for a halt to the sale of pork, but in fact permits pig p r o f i teers to sell the remains of pigs destroyed because they carried swine fever . . . There is also mounting evidence that AIDS may be a legacy from the CIA. Allegedly, the so-called i n telligence agency in fected herds of swine in Cuba in the 7 0 's wi th swine fever. Research has established synchronicity be tween AIDS and swine fever . . . where one is found, the other is found. Some AIDS victims have been found to be carriers of the swine fever virus.

Meat, especially, is tainted with death; it is in fact a cadaver, and like any cadaver, it is in a state of rot. The putrefaction remains at least 21

three days in the intestines releasing toxins into the bloodstream, thereby damaging and destroying hemoglobin. The human body is not equipped for flesh eating. Out teeth are not for tearing but rather grinding; human intestines, are far too long to di gest and expel flesh before it rots . . . it takes three days in a 9R.60 environment for meat to com plete the internal process of digestion, bating flesh is a conditioned, acquired habit . . . the PR comes down from the flesh peddlers. Remember, too, there are steroids, hormones and anti-bodies shot in to the animal--all of which play havoc with the human ecology-heavy beef eaters who are male have been found to have developed secondary female charac teristics such as enlarged mammaries--the consequences of hormones in their steaks . . . how ironic that the butch image of the meat-eating male may in fact be making him, effeminate! And consider too, when an animal is about to be slaughtered, it is in a state of terror . . . the terror makes adrenaline and the adrenaline floods the tissues, where it lies, toxic.

in and garbage out. Once the garbage is out, keep it out. Scrub the skin every day, stimulate the scalp. Toxins rise to the surface and accumulate in the pores; conscientious cleaning keeps the skin breathing. Kaposi's Sarcoma is the visible residue of toxins in the system that rise to the surface in random bursts of angry splotches. The sarcoma is not a disease, but a symptom--where the blood clean ing process has begun, I have seen the sarcomas dimini sh. Music, fragrance, flowers, colors, crystals, laugh ter, baths, massage, enemas, accupuncture, loosefitting undyed cotton garments, and greens, and positive thinking, all help heal and enrich life. Abstaining from sex, is no guarantee; not while you ingest pesticides, eat dead flesh, absorb ultra violet rays, sustain the cacophony of screeching in dustry, the aggravation of a job, the angst of wor ry, and work in industries that utilize toxins. All of these are the iatrogenesis of the system . . . it is that system which is the killer, and it must be seen for what it is, and then, turned away from.

Currently, the idea of a balanced diet promulgated by the medical industry insists on meat for a centerpiece for at least one meal a day. And, animal liver is recommended for anemia . . . when one considers that the liver is a filter for toxins, it is not sur prising that, under a doctor's care, anemia usually leads to cancer. As far as a protein source is con cerned, meat, even the leanest piece of steer flesh, has nowhere the protein yield of a small portion of cooked soy beans. There are political and ecological ramifications of eating steer . . . in order to raise cattle, quickly and cheaply, the demands of fast-food chains are causing the clearing of rain forests for grazing . . . the environmental impact of rain forest clearing will take from the rarth our line of defense against pollution . . . trees absorb carbons and ex hale oxygen all to the benefit of life.

If a tree is to be made strong, the roots are fed. The strength is carried up inside the tree and feeds its leaves and limbs and, all it made new. Like trees, we humans stand with our feet in the ground and our heads in the sky. Vitality is drawn up from the Earth . . . and, above all, THE MIND . . . be lieving that all thinqs are possible . . . and it follows, that as a man believeth, so it will come to pass. All of the foregoing text would be empty words, if it were not for the fact that I have lived it in over coming lymph cancer. Tt was simple; I turned to the Goddess. It is fifteen years now since the diagnosis, and I continue to flourish outside the iron triangle.

rAT GREEN THINGS . . . "Take these green herbs for your meat" is a Biblical admonition . . . Dandelion greens, parsley, red clover, cabbage, greens of all kinds. These are the healers, the blood builders . . . they bring peace to the system and restore health. Fating this way does not put the ecology at peril nor does it shed blood and tears. The fruits and vegetables and herbs are Mother Farth's gifts to us and to our brethren, the animals.

photo by Tim Waddington

At this point, it is time to bring the enema out of the closet. Snickers and forced entry memories from childhood aside, the enema must be regarded as a most valuable tool in cleaning out the fester in the body. Out western-style fatty fiberless foods create a sogball in the intestines. In time, it hardens Into a critical mass. Most adults have upwards of 10 pounds of impacted feces in the colon. The enema is the quickest and easiest way to unblock a congested colon. rnemas help the perstaltic activity of the muscles that contract the colon wall, thereby looseninq old deposits. Rather than being repulse , rejoice that the rot is released from the body. I have had to administer an enema where the rectum was tumor-impacted. It is important, then, to con sider the patient's discomfort and perhaps embarrass ment. Humor and sensitivity must be the guides to help ease the patient. The first enema is the hard est; each one thereafter, becomes progressively easier. Cleaning inside is the basic of good health.

Garbage 22

AIDS:

A POSITIVE APPROACH by Louise L. Hay

BOOK ON AIDS-POPPERS CONNECTION PUBLISHED

Reviewed by Rocco Patt

Pagan Press has just published Death Rush: Poppers A AIDS, by John Lauritsen and Hank Wilson. Tbe heart of Death Rush is its Annotated Bibliography--34 pages of references to medical reports and other literature on the nitrite inhalants.

"AIDS: A Positive Approach," by Louise L. Hay, is an affirmation and healing imagery cassette tape, which can be ordered for $12.00 including postage and handling from: Hay House, 3029 Wilshire Blvd., #206, Santa Monica, CA 90404; (213) 828-3666.

In the first chapter, "Poppers & AIDS," Lauritsen and Wilson provide an analytical summary of the evidence from survey research, seven different studies on mice, various kinds of laboratory studies, and clinical reports, concluding that poppers are de finitely hazardous to the health, immunosuppressive, and at the very least an important co-factor in the development of AIDS.

Louise Hay is a metaphysical counselor, teacher, and healer who has worked with gay men a great part of her life. Right now she has a number of AIDS patients and some of them are in remission. She has also helped heal herself of cancer using the ideas explained on this tape. Louise says that she doesn't heal people but that she helps them see themselves in a different perspective --this viewpoint begins the healing process. The word "incurable," which is so frightening to people, means that "that particular condition cannot be cured by any outer means and we must go within to find the cure."

One chapter, "The Poppers Industry and Its Influence," is an expose of some shameful dealings on the part of the poppers industry, as well as its accomplices within the government and the gay community. Death Rush ends with an analysis of the "AIDS virus" Ttypo thesis, concluding that in the light of Koch's postulates, LAV (or HIV or HTLV-TII) cannot possibly be the cause of AIDS. An original toxicologic model is put forward: that gay men (and intravenous druq users) are developing immune deficiency primarily be cause of the immunosuppressive drugs they have been using.

Louise goes on to say, "I believe that all illness is self-created. Not that we say that we want to have this illness but we do create a mental atmosphere where this disease will grow and flourish. I believe that we are each 100% responsible for every experience in our lives--the best and the worst. We all create our experiences by the thoughts that we think and the words that we speak. That which we believe becomes true for us. Every thought we think and every word we speak creates our future. Words are powerful and got into our subconscious mind. Whatever we choose to believe comes true for us. However, no matter what we think or believe, our beliefs are only thoughts and thoughts can be changed. Even self-natred is only hating a thought we have about ourselves. The thought 'I'm not good enough' produces a feeling in the gut, or the heart, or the throat, or the back of the neck and then we react to that feeling. But, if we change the thought, the feeling must go. If you continuously think that 'I am wonderful,' you cannot have the feel ings that go with 'I am not good enough.'"

Death Rush: Poppers & AI_D_S, by John Lauritsen and Hank Wilson, is $3.95 (postpaid), 64 pages, published in 1986 by Pagan Press, 26 St. Mark's Place, New York City, NY 10003.

Louise sayd, "Release the past and be willing to for give." Love is always the answer to healing and the road to love is through forgiveness . . . Releasing resentment will dissolve even cancer and yes, even AIDS." Louise explains these ideas and how we acquire nega tive and destructive thoughts. She then explains how we might change our thoughts to begin the healing process using these ideas in addition to the work that we are doing with our doctor. The and Jai the

second side of the tape presents healing imagery self-affirmations to original healing music by Josefs. Louise suggests listening to this side of tape daily for optimal benefit.

Upon listening to the tape for the first time I found that I could identify with a lot that she said and the love I felt from her moved me to tears several times. May many people have the opportunity to work with this tape, especially but certainly not exclusive ly people with AIDS--we all need some healing in our 1 ives. 23

BUTCH POINTS

One does NOT request the award of butch points. One is recommended to receive points by someone who al ready has had butch points awarded to them. Butch points are awarded only for behaviors listed in Appen dix A. The person making the recommendation must swear (or affirm) that they physically saw the beha vior executed and that the subject is NOT aware of the recommendation.

An Examination of the Phenomenon in the Gay Movement and a Proposal to Objectify the Award, Recession, and Appeal of said Butch Points

A Noble System by R aphael Sabtini

The nominator requests award forms (Form BP-1) from the Social Commentator, c/o RFD. The name of the subject being recommended is entered on the appro priate blanks and the name of the behavior, as well as its computer code (for record keeping) must be en tered in the appropriate spaces. The BP-1 is then forwarded to the Social Commentator c/o RFD. RFD will forward the nominations to me and I will hold the unopened recommendations for a minimum of two months. If during the two months the recommendation miraculously escapes out of the envelope, the points are immediately awarded. All other recommendations for the award of butch points are reproduced so that one copy of each is sent to the five members of the Butch Point Award Advisory Council. The Council's membership rotates among those exceedingly butch per sons who have attained 100 or more butch points. The Council meets quarterly or in months with an R in their name (when oysters are in season).

1 August 1986, REV 19 September 1986

As one who has continually penned social commentary, I feel propelled to join my fellow critics and propose sweeping reforms for one of our most holy of cows--the sacred butch points. Now you might ask, or exclaim— "What the hell?!!!" Well, T challenge all of you: How many times have you vaguely awarded or retracted butch points for whatever the reason? My most recent experience was last Sunday when several fairies proceeded to canoe down a local raging river. It was a 14-mile trek (seemed like 40) and while I dumped the canoe four times, hit my head on a boulder, bruised my head, and scraped my legs, I had a wonderful time. When we pulled the canoe onto the bank at the finish, I quipped, "How many butch points do I get for this assault on nature?"

The Council members review the recommendations and each member, after serious deliberation, casts a vote to either award or not award points. Acts of defense of principles or people in the movement carry great weight with the Councilors and recommendations should be as specific as possible. If a majority (three or more) Councilors votes in favor of the award, the recommendation is forwarded to the Precise Number of Butch Points To Be Awarded Advisory Committee.

My partner nonchalantly volunteered, "Well dear, only 2.5 points."

The PN8PTAAC, also composed of individuals with 100 or more butch points, meets quarterly or in months with no R in the name, to determine the number of butch points each individual is to receive. Commit tee members individually champion each nominee's cause and submit their recommendations for the number of points to be awarded. Hot and heated debate en sues, and a majority of the panel must agree on the actual number of points to be awarded. The Committee informs me of their decisions and I beseech the keep er of the holy calligraphy set to inscribe an award parchment with the subject's name, type of behavior, and number of points to be awarded. When the calli grapher gets the time, the parchments will be for warded to the newly recognized butch person.

After extensive moaning and dramatic complaining (be havior which would be grounds for removal of the 2.5), I realized that I must appeal my partner's paltry award. But there wasn't anyone to whom I could appeal the decision, let alone any objective mechanism avail able for the actual award or removal of butch points. Therefore, with all the chutzpah I have garnered in 39 years, and since I can't be really butch, at least I can be catty enough to appoint myself the arbitrator of who really is butch. To that end, I humbly propose the following Noble System: A.

BUTCH P0INTS--AWARD

Subject, when he or she or other receives the parch ment, along with being overwhelmed with surprise, will be able to tell others of the nature and number of butch points they have as well as be able to nominate others for points.

BUTCH POINTS--GENERALLY

What are they? Butch Points are points awarded by the Social Commentator (my humble self) to individuals (male, female or other) for actions that lead to the furtherance of butchness. Butchness--what is it? It is the manifestation of all the physical, mental, sexual, visual, nonverbal, and masculine aspects of the Marlboro Man (except for the smoking of tobacco, of course). The Marlboro Man has has been beatified in some circles; in others, he has already been canonized. 24

BUTCH POINTS — RECESSION

There, it is done. Since I was so grievously wronged by the mere award of 2.5 butch points for a very butch canoe trip, I have rectified a lengthy wrong or at least afforded my butch brothers and sisters an objective (from my perspective) system to formally award, rescine or appeal Butch Points.

Some members of the movement who have had points awarded (and, in a few cases, who have no points at all) may commit behaviors that merit the recession of points. The behaviors that merit such recession ac tions are listed at Appendix R. Individuals with a total of 100 or more butch points who observe any unbutch behaviorfs"' must request a copy of the Recession Form (Form RP-?1 from RFD. Re cession forms are then sent to the Social Commentator at Running Water and when received by me, I will pre sent the Recession Recommendation to the Butch Point Recession Advisory Panel. That Panel, composed of 5 persons who are purer than Caesar's wife, meets quarterly or at the call of the Social Commentator. Recession forms are distributed to all five members and each action is appointed a devil's advocate from among the Panel. (All members wear black robes and powdered wigs to lend an air of jurisprudence). After the advocate has presented the case and oral argu ments are completed, the decision of the majority of the Panel is binding. If the Panel decides that points are not to be removed, the Social Commentator will so inform the malevolent proposer and tell him or her to mind their own business and not to bother me again. However, if the Panel agrees that points must be rescinded, I will inform the calligrapher to cause toilet paper to be inscribed with the Recession Order and sent to the subject. The order will Inform the subject to return the award parchment to me and, if the form isn't too mussed, it may be used again in the -future.

There will be some of you who will think my efforts frivolous and catty. They are.

APPENDIX A Behaviors for which Butch Points may be awarded: acting (good), attempting, baking, canning, chopping wood, cooking, courting, crocheting, embroidering, enjoying cartoons, farming, fencing (both), growing, initiating, knitting, learning, listening to NPR, loving, lounging around, reading, repairing cars/ trucks/other vehicles, riding bicycles/horses/others/ motorcycles/tricycles, sewing, sharing, skating, ski ing, stewing, tanning, tatting, teaching, thinking and watching PBS. APPENDIX B Behaviors for which Butch Points MAY be rescinded: acting (badly), bitching, cheating, chewing on nails (own), complaining, dumping canoes, harming others intentionally, lying, picking ass, picking nose, presuming to formulate a Butch Point System, stealing and wanting without trying.

If the subject refuses or just doesn't return the parchment, I will maintain a roll of dishonour of those miserable wretches and will recall their names with great dish at all the gatherings and the sanc tuary business mettings that I am able to attend.

BUTCH POINTS--SUMMATION

BUTCH POINTS— APPEALS

As unlikely as it may be that anyone would challenge the determination of points by the Social Commentator, the following is the means by which those foolish persons may proceed. Secure Appeal of Butch Point Action (Form BP-3) from RFD. Complete the Appeal form and return it to the Social Commentator c/o RFD The Appeal Board is composed of two members from the Award Advisory Council , two from the Precise Number Committee and two from the Recession Panel. I sit on the Appeal Board as the tie-breaking vote. The Board reviews the appeal as well as the initial award or recession action and, after lengthy dis cussion, makes a final decision. If I don't overrule the Board's decision, I inform the meddlesome petitioner who initiated the appeal o* the final decision. The appellee has only one appeal right funless he is very very Butch and in that case I'll give him 'most anything). 25

The Midwest Men's Festival has been a part of my life for the nast five years. It acts as a measure of my personal qrowth and chanqe. The past vear has been one full of introspection and self-discovery; true to its nature, the festival acted as my mirror, re flecting images of myself new and full.

The STAG’S

The following story tries to recount a waking vision that caught me there in the woods of the Ozarks, the annual setting of the Midwest Men's Festival. * I

VOICE

A Personal Story From the

'■'

...

Midwest M e n ’s Festival ■'-A

..... **--

-j V *

by Greg Johnson that grew at my side. Together, my hands and watching eyes formed the image of a standing stag, its antlers high and curving. I liked it--totem of the old Male God, the Lady's Consort. Enjoying what I'd made, know ing its significance and sensing where it belonged, I rose to climb the rocky slope to the fire circle, now an altar; I placed the stag in the center of the stone bed. Somehow my reason for coming felt fulfilled in this crude, lovely gift/symbol to the Festival grounds.

l found myself walking that long walk to the far end of the camp's peninsula, a winding, quiet path through woods and brambles. My steps caught me in their rhythm, my hands joined with their clapping, the joy of being again in that place drew songs from my throat. I sang and clapped and skipped for the trees' eyes and ears--they knew my coming and going on this path; I came here each year to think and laugh and sing. And see.

And I left.

The path terminated in a clearing, a beaten circle of dirt ringed with large oak trees. A large raised stone fire pit solidly grounds its center. This is the touchstone for me. A place of personal vision. A safe and sacred place T had claimed years back. I removed my clothes in honor of the D'iace, touched the trees of the four directions and sat, anxious for the voices I had always heard here.

Rack on the path pointed toward the gathering's body, I stopped. Along the path's spine were huge bright yellow leaves, ripe pear-yellow, glowing. So beautiful, I had to pick them up, hold them against my chest. Hands full of yellow, I turned sharply to face the tree-lined circle. Was it sound or movement that jerked my senses in that direction7 Curious, I fol lowed the urge to return, trusting the feeling though the "why" escaped me. with yellow leaves against me, I sat again there. Facing North, eyes focused on the stag. My eyes lost their focus, I turned inward . . . I saw myself as I rose and slowly walked in the woods at the circle's perimeter. I watched as I methodically gathered wild flowers and gently tugged clusters of brown oak leaves from long-fallen branches. The "me" I looked on circled back to ring the stag figure with the brown oak leaves. The flowers were made to play among its horns. I stooped to pick up the yellow leaves from the path. These were placed among the brown at five regular intervals, their cups filled with damp coal-remains of fire long spent, taken from the fire-circle's center on which the stag stood. From around my neck I slipped a blue and silver strand and draped it from one stag horn to the other. Simple gifts, common treasures, powerful symbols--I had fashioned a beautiful thing.

canopy overhead was green and full of lobed fingerleaves of the oaks, pin oaks. It was that Dak Voice that I first heard. A large tree--a Father Oak in vited. I rose, went to lean against its rough trunkbody and, dappled by those shadow hands, drew myself to orgasm. Rubbing my semen on its base, I paid tribute to the magic of the space and asked that it join me, new cleansed. With my back against my part ner, I sat in the large quiet. T dozed in the peace that followed. A whispered sound pulled my head up--wave on rock. My body moved to the calling. Down the rock bluff to the water's lips, I followed the inviting sound. Rocks, fuzzy with algae, warm in the sun, held me as I sat. Water lapping washed my body. It was comforting to simply sit in the gentle water's rocking, torso hot in the sun, thighs cool in the waves. Clouds passed over the sun causinq the scenery to go dark and light. Light on water. Light on rock. Light on driftwood. With each cloud's passinq, my eyes seemed to close and re open on a place changed as the sun caught some new angle of the life around me. Light on driftwood, shadow. Light on driftwood, shadow. Somehow these seemed special-lost bits o f trees returned by the water . . . but altered. Old yet new. Intrigued by ♦heir random scattering and their shapes, edges smooth, tips rounded, I gathered them from the cove's waterline. A few felt different, these I separated from the rest . . . I didn't really know why. My thinking-self didn't know but my hands did; intent, they wrapped and bound the wood with rushes and vine

In that thought of "this is beauty," I came back to my self. Just stood. A second time the work felt fin ished, complete. I had consecrated the ground with my semen, made the gift-image to the Festival, and now paid tribute to the spirit--thankful for its presence. As before I began the walk back . . . as before . . . I was asked to turn and return. Why couldn't I leave? °uzzled, questioning, determined, I stood again at the circle. At its edge I watched the play o f the sun and shadow on the stone altar, over the driftwood god, through the flowers and leaves. I saw the stage set. And I went in to play my part. 26

With a stick I drew a five-pointed star around the altar, laying lines of pow er. I knew, or felt, that if I moved around that star I could raise the power of vision, call down the power of the asking and answering voice. At the first star point I knelt, leaned forward, arms outstretched. I rubbed the Earth with my hands. My whole body rocked with the motion. Friction of pebbly dirt against my palms. I rocked and chanted--I meant to fall into trance. I sang. And I asked. I began to move around the circle, aware only of my voice and that steady hand fric tion; skin to Earth, skin to Earth. The second part of the star stirred my body--I felt some thing within spiral from a point in my belly to a wide circle above my head.I I saw the clearing from above at the star's third point, aware of the long fingered imprints I'd been 1eaving in the dirt as I rubbed the Earth. Long, long fingers, much larger than the shapes of my physi cal hands. Star apex four. rushing.

Building of energy.

And as a mirror turned toward another, images o f myself funnelled into themselves, glowinq and shimmering.

Sense of power

In the sudden silence, in the completeness that saw no images or surroundings, felt no edges of a body, I sat. Could only sit. Could only cry. Could only love myself in this truth newly found and claimed.

And at the fifth point I heard my own voice talking to my questions--not in a flowing dialogue but in a radiant message in entirety:

Not needing to look again, I saw, finally, able to leave the circle. Glad for my heart's ears that heard. Glad for my mind's eye that saw. Glad for my body’s light that shone. Glad for the Stag's voice--my voice that called and answered me.

It's not this place, lovely as it is, lifeaffirming as it is, that so moves you. IT, that power that opens and makes clear your eyes and heart is simply your own light, your own goodness. Feel how warm It/You are here? That warmth is you. Not just here in this place are you light; you car ry the power in your eyery-moment life. Give yourself to yourself.

How the path sang as I walked it!

free to exercise the opportunities and rights guaran teed by the Constitution. My belief in our cause is closely interwoven with my religious-humanistic be liefs. This belief is that someday, gay children shall inherit their share of the earth and, I guess, heaven too.

Growing Old Creatively

Growing old, for us who acknowledge that we are old, i simply another challenging period of our life. Bar ring complications of illness and disability, growing old is just one more period in our lives to be met and conquered. Many young people, gay or not, are apprehensive about what they consider a crucial time, when one is no longer 29. If one asks these people, do they associate socially or sexually with anyone over thirty, the answer is always "no."

by Skip W ard

Young gays who do not fear the aging process are socially well integrated with people of all ages. To find friendship, love, or a role model among older or old men and women seems to be an initial step to accepting gracefully one's own life process. And I find that older men and women who make themselves socially available to young people do not live so much in the past. They tend to think young.

[Copy of address, revised slightly, to students For Gay Awareness (SFGA), Louisiana State University, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, September 22, 1981. Material on loneliness o m it te d from the original. Permission granted to reproduce in part or whole, with credit.]

Youth-age symbiosis is virtually non-existent in our 20th century America, and we are all denied the benefits of mutually beneficial relationships.

In Rapides Parish, during my high school years in mid depression 1930's, boy-and-boy sexual activity was more or less common practice. No name was given to this recreation. Homosexuality as an entity did not exist. To jack-off, play peters, or to cornhole was about the extent of our same-sex vocabulary. Sig nificantly, no older man ever seduced me as a boy. I was then what might be called a dirty young man. At the age of 14, I seduced the 25-year-old hired man. Most of my boyhood sex partners grew up heterosexual. At that time I was never made to feel different, nor was I ever made to feel dirty. One of my sex part ners said to me afterwards, "You sure would make a good girl."

In my college days, after World War II, I gave a bit of thought to what I wanted to be like when I should be an old man. The best my imagination could conjure up was a picture of a neatly coiffed, gray-haired gentleman with trim moustache. (Moustaches were associated with age, then.) This well-tailored gentle man, with silver-headed cane, would pass the time sitting on a park bench, feeding the pigeons. Some where, at sometime in my boyhood days, I must have seen such a tableau--the old man in the park. Today, as I see old men and women, some in nursing homes, some able and about, in the parks even, I no tice mostly their quiet dignity and assurance. Most faces on the aged show them to be no longer goaded by ambition. A sex drive seems absent, but most will tell you that there is still fire in the chimney. They show no sign that their lives might be considered by them to be a failure.

I was 1n the Navy at the age of 17, and after my 18th birthday, on a week's leave in Los Angeles, I found another sailor in a gay bar. He was older than I, he spoke the hip gay idiom of the day, and I learned that the word "gay" referred to a vast secret society of men who loved other men, and I went on to find other sailors and marines with similar tastes. Sexual activity for gay people 1n the 1940's, 50's, and 60's was freely practiced but much more hidden than now. There was a terrifying fear that one would be dis covered, and penalties for discovery were severe. In the Navy in those days, prison was mandatory with dishonorable discharge

All of us, at any age, should know from them that the best age to be is the one we are in now. Many old folks will tell you, as they have said to me, "No, I don't want to go back and live my life over again. I'm happy at the age I am now." They have maintained their human dignity and pride. They have survived. May such survival be our own.

In 1971 I became actively involved in a movement for recognition of gay people in my own Unitarian Universalist church denominational affairs. From church denominational affairs I have gone to other fronts in our freedom movement. Central Louisiana is a vast wasteland of unconscious gay men and women, and the effort to awaken Central Louisiana gays from their apathy is a difficult one. Many of you know of what I speak.

Loneliness is said to be a problem for most old folks. For gay people loneliness is no more nor less a prob lem. Loneliness should be differentiated from a desire to be alone. A person whom we might judge to be lonely may be simply one who likes to be alone. The never-married gay man or woman has no thought of offspring who will support, comfort, or visit him or her in one's old age. With decreased expectations, gay men and women never experience the loneliness or bitterness of aging mothers and fathers who are neglected by offspring.

But I have a Belief in our cause. If you ask me, this aging gay, what sustains me now in the sixth decade of my life, my answer is simply: Belief--a belief that life is good and will become even better in pro portion to my own efforts. To the gay freedom move ment I give of my time, effort, talents, and money. I too dream of a time when gays and lesbians will be

What is different about the way we gay people look at old folks is that we do not have in the back of our minds this question: Is this person, can this old

Whether Christian or unbeliever, there are gay people too, who are sustained in the face of old age by a philosophy of materialism. Money and riches will buy for them a kind of companionship, love, comfort, face lifts, luxurious living, travel and sex. For most of their lives, these people worked hard, lived frugally, and had little time for human enjoyment. This belief in materialism is their faith and sustenance. It 1s not a matter about which we can be judgemental. Their belief 1s their own.

man or woman be gay? Sexual preference or gender is irrelevant to us when facing the aged. But should it unimportant? Might we not be more interested, more caring if this old man or woman were known by us to be gay? So little of our gay past--our history--is known. Very little is in print. Might not our own lives be enriched if we knew what they know? If we are a community of gay men and women, then the aging gay is a part of our communality. The aging gay has resources and reserves for our much needed selfeducation on the phenomenon of gayness.

What is common about all the methods of sustaining oneself in old age and facing death is the concept of belief--or faith. Seemingly, 1t doesn't matter what you believe. But the belief must be an affirmation that whatever happens, it is for the best. A nun I once knew shrugged and said, "Whatever God wants." Cliches may be elevated to the profound when we say simplistically, "Tomorrow will be better," or, "Most people are good people."

Norman Mailer wrote in Prisoner of Sex that he could think of nothing more pathetic or tragic than the plight of the aging homosexual. I was 50 years old when I read that. Stung and unbelieving, I asked myself what is so pathetic about us? My friends and contemporaries are now in their late 501s and 60's. They have grown old gracefully. Only one do I know who seems bitter and anti-social. He expresses contempt for all gay people and denigrates the gay movement. Of course, his problem is his low self-esteem. But the other aging men and women I know give back to life some of that which was given them. Several share their homes with their consider ably older mothers or fathers. One of them nursed his bed-ridden mother for ten years. Another, a les bian 67 years old, vigilantly cares for her 90-yearold mother.

Recall, if you will, Blanche Dubois in Streetcar Named Desire, mentally shattered, being taken from the KowaTsYi household by the committing authorities. She addressed her escort with the famous ^ ne» "T have always depended upon the kindness of strangers." Blanche somehow knows that she will be alrlqht. If you believe in the kindness of strangers, as does Blanche, today's terrible defeat will become tomor row's astonishing victory, of course, to trust stran gers is to be vulnerable to hurt or even disaster. But not to trust means to gain nothing. And are we not hurt by friends as much as strangers?

Pathetic indeed, Mr. Mailer! I call aging homo sexuals heroic. Many of them are worthy role models for us.

In summary, T say that aging and awareness of one's appointment with death 1s not a great problem for gay people. These are expected and natural processes. If gay people are lonely, old or young, it 1s not be cause they are gay. I see gay people's problems as being rooted in apathy, indifference, resignation, low self-esteem, church-1nculcated guilt, and demands for equal rights without accepting equal responsibil ity. These problems are all a result of Internaliz ing society's attitude towards us.

We can ask ourselves what's pathetic about that beautiful old man, Christopher Isherwood. If you've seen that splendidly aging face and body, listened to his well spoken ideas and soft voice, you can understand why I myself, long ago, chose him for my role model as an old gay man. Isherwood's novel about an aging gay university professor, called A Single Man, is a comforting story about aging and dying. Isherwood surely writes from his own exper ience with students and his own life as a teacher. Among the Who's Who in our out-and-proud gay world today are many people who can fulfill the young gay's need for role models. For women, there are almost legendary older living people: Phyllis Lyons and Del Martin, Barbara (Sittings, and Kate Millett.

Other problems we have for which we must hold only ourselves responsible. Alcoholism and drug use may well be the most pressing problem we face now. Al coholism is no more innate with us than with non gays. Rut we must realize that our blgnest social Institution, the gay bar, helps to produce alcoholism in one out of three of us. As a responsible person, I cannot ethicallv suqgest to anyone that we should "support the local gay bar." I am a social drinker, but in my home T do not proffer alcohol. If asked for such, as a good host, I share.

Concommitant with aging comes the occasional thought of one's death. Rev. Troy Derry may be conducting gay funerals, but there can never be such a thing as a gay death. For some--not all--gay people, the Christian faith in individual resurrection is out. Many gay and non gay face the fear of aging and dying without the solace of traditional Christian comfort. These in dividuals do not reject the Christian ethic; their feeling is that the church has rejected them. For these non-Christians there seems to come a stoicism about old age and death. My father's Baptist sister has requested her pastor to say a prayer in my father's hospital room. The minister politely in formed my father of his sister's wishes and asked if my father minded "a word of prayer with him." With good manners, my father replied simply, "It can't hurt nothin' . . . " Maybe when we are 75 years old we can acknowledge with the philosophers and poets that the world is a fter aT1 , only a burial place for fhe dead.

Alternatives to gay bars as social institutions now exist. Social, religious, political, and self-help groups exist in Louisiana. If not found in your home town, then let's start one. There is simply no excuse for saying, "Nothing to do in this town but gay bars." The gay activist finds that one's fear and guilt evaporate when religiously involved in the movement. We no longer need the psychologist, the psychiatrist, alcohol, or drugs. We find ourselves on an entirely natural high. We feel good about ourselves. For myself, I say: Away with the bar stools, the park benches, and the rocking chairs. I will s 11 on the committee chairs.

HOMESTEADING NOTES by Kim Grittner For those persons looking for a retreat situation, it is a buyer's market. Prices are very low in most areas. Look around for what you want; don't jump in to something right away. It is a place to which you will have to spend a lot of time traveling, to enjoy, so you should carefully weigh the distance vs. cost per acre factors. (Land prices are much higher near large cities.)

How are the HD's for the homesteader? That all de pends on who you ask. Existing farms are being fore closed left and right; the rural economy is very fragile at this point; and the current administration seems to care only for the largest (Corporate) farms. On the other hand, smaller farms that aren't too deeply in debt and have some specialty crops are do ing very well. These crops can be anything from squash blossoms to Italian beans. These crops are often grown for expensive restaurants or farmer's mar kets.

If you are not familiar with the job outlook in the area that you are considering, don't assume that jobs are as easy to come by as they are in the larger cities. The farm crunch has made it very difficult to find work in most small communities.

The problem for some farmers is finding a local buyer for these specialty crops. If you are considering such a venture, I would suggest that you contact large restaurants, distributors and suppliers in your area. In some areas, there are cooperative distributors that buy a lot of vegetables.

In summary, there are some incredible land deals that can be made, but there are some incredible blunders that can be made as well! Be mindful, and best of 1uck!

Since people are eating more vegetables in place of meat, it would be wise for many farmers to shift from growing grains to growing vegetables in high demand. people are also becoming more concerned about the chemical content o f foods, so organic farmers take heart! For new homesteaders the outlook is both good and bad. Land prices and used equipment are very cheap. The reason for the bargains? No, it's not a dimestore sale, it's called a failing farm policy, a policy which is puttinq many long-time farmers out of busi ness. Who's to say that you're going to be any more successful than the person who sold you the land?I I guess it all depends on what you do with the farm stead; recently, an old farmer who was going out of business said that he thought that there was a future for new farmers, but that these new farmers must be willing to go back to the old ways. No <10,000 trac tors! Just a small tractor, or horses if you have the right set up. The key factor is OVERHEAD. Don't fall into the loan game so far that you can't see the way out, as so many of today's farmers have. Also, be realistic and practical about project crop sales. 30

MY NEW BUDDY

Sometimes we walk in the woods, and if we can sneak off without the dogs following us, we're quiet enough to get close to the deer and watch them browse. He knows to keep quiet and not scare them away. Most folks, as soon as they spot them go, "Wow, look at the deer!" and they're gone before we've even had a chance to nod a "Howdy" to each other. Sometimes we hike back to the big tree. I call 1t that because it is. According to the U.S. Forestry Service it's the second largest buckeye in the Continental United States--r1ght here on my own farm! And they oughta know 'cause they came out and measured it. The largest is somewhere in Kentucky-but they won't tell me where--like I'm gonna go and cut it down or something. Well, some days — just when the sun's about to set behind the mountain, Teddy (that's my friend) and I go sit by the tree and make believe there are Indians padding through the woods in leather moccasins. The tree was here then. In fact it's been here for about 500 years, and in its presence even I shut my mouth. So we just sit and hold each other and watch the sun go down and listen to the evening sounds of the forest.

Jletteru

*7be 'parwt

by Lee Law rence We sleep, back to chest, my fingers toying with h1s furry front. Sleeping with someone, regular like, 1s a new experience for me. After so many years alone 1t took a little getting used to. The best time 1s early, when I'm half asleep-half awake and my thoughts wander at will. Once I've gotten up to piss, let the dogs out, make coffee and say hello to anything the mood Is lost. But until then, 1t 's just the two of us and 1t 's our special time. He listens without criticism, never laughs at my ideas--no mathow silly they appear later 1n the day. I can nuz zle the top of his head with my chin and it's a warm comfortable feeling. Sometimes we lie nose to nose; h 1s eyes are so deep and brown, so understand ing that I don't have to explain things to him--he just knows. Even if I'm feeling low he doesn't try to cheer me up--nothing worse than having somebody tell you, "Ah, cheer up!" when you really want to feel like worm shit.

This winter will be Teddy's first, on the farm. I'm sure he'll like the cold weather once he gets used to 1t— but then one snowy winter nights he'll have me. We'll snuggle up in front o f the telly with the fire flickering across the ceiling— and maybe this year some of the nights won't feel like they're ’4 hours long. No doubt about 1t--everybody should have a buddy like my Teddy. I used to have a friend like him years ago. We split when I went off to college--we had been the best of friends ever since I was four years old--but you know how it is. You grow up and just sorta go your separate ways. That was a long, long time ago and I really didn't think much about my old childhood pal--not until the day a big box came in the mail. I love presents and with all the excitement of a child I tore off the wrapping paper. It was like being a four year old all over again but instead of my Bambi, there was Teddy. My very own Teddybear, and dammit I don't care if I am all growed up I love that furry little critter!

He likes to stay in bed later than I do--well, ac tually, nobody likes to stay 1n bed later than me-but I'm better at feeding the horses, and somebody has to get this column written. While I get dressed he lies there gently, going with the flow of the water bed while I outline the day's activities. It helps me to talk out some of my ideas, and as I move about the room his eyes follow me like a Jesus nainted on velvet. He knows I'm not interested in con versation-- just a sounding board. I've got it in my head that I'm allotted just so many words per day, and if I use them all up in conversation and inane chatter there won't be any left when 1t comes time to write. So he's a listener and you know how hard they are to come by. Sometimes when I get back from doing the chores he joins me in my office and we go over the mail or edit what I wrote the night before. The written word is only successful 1f it creates an image in the reader's mind. If the writer is doing her or his job the image the reader sees will be the same the writer had in mind with the additions that only the reader's imagination can supply. That's what makes writing so exciting. I read to him out loud and watch for his reactions. Usually they're very sub tle; a sly smile, an approving nod or a disapproving frown. I may do four or five rewrites, and he patiently listens to every one. Find an editor that will do that! 31

The Brothers Rehind Bars Program is an outreach to our ga y brothers in prison. It has three major parts: ]) we provide a department in the journal as a forum for literary expression by gay prisoners .and oc cassionally information of interest and concern to gay prisoners; 2) we encourage pen pals through Joint Venture, which maintains lists of prisoners seeking pen pals, offers some screening and forwarding, and gives advice to people writing prisoners; 3) we offer free subs to prisoners, but we have to limit this offer to what we can afford. We encourage friends to grant gift subs to prisoners. The grantors can remain anonymous. Subs are $12.

BROTHERS BEHIND BARS BOOK AMD TAPE

PRISON NEWSLETTER

The Prison-Ashram Project in North Carolina has published a book by Bo Lozoff, W e 1re A11 Doing Time. Through insights , stories, car toons , and a profound sharing of over a decade's correspondence with prisoners throughout the world, Bo delivers his unique brand of practical, timeless wisdom for us all, "1n the infinite variety of prisons we create for ourselves."

Pi pelines and Persons in Prison Ex change , free to prisoners, is a ~ newsletter to bring about increased awareness of the actual conditions in our prisons today. It also publishes names and addresses of or ganizations that offer services to inmates. It serves as an informa tion pool for services outside of prison. Write: PAPIPE, P.0. Box 1668, Asheville, NC 28802.

Bo Lozoff has also produced a re cord, "Stumbling Toward the Light," which is a collection of original songs. The styles range from soul ful blues and quiet ballads to "sizzling electric" rock. It is available on LP or cassette.

AIDS IN PRISONS

The book is available at $10 and the record/tape at $8. Add $2 for shipping. Write: PrisonAshram Project, Rt. 1, Box 201-N, Durham, NC 27705.

TRANSSEXUAL PRISONERS Transsexuals in Prison is the name of a new monthly publication for "interchanging information for the transsexual prisoner; legal and medical contacts; and informative reading by transsexual inmates that are experienced in the field of correctional transsexual treatment." The "staff" consists of three orisoners, both male to female and female to male transsexuals, in three prison systems (Ohio, Texas, and Indiana). Monthly rates are: 50$ for TS prisoners; 75t for nonTS prisoners; $2 for supporting members; and $15 for contributing members. Send enough for the num ber of months you'd like to sub scribe. Money orders (only) may be made payable to: Vanassa Meri wether, 24493, TIP Secretary, P.0. Box 41, Michigan City, IN 24493.

AIDS in Correctional Facilities: Issues and Options, U.S. Dept, of justice, National Institute of Jus tice, Office of Communications and Research Utilization, 209 pp. From U.S. Government Printing Office, Washington, D.C. 20402. This is a compilation of papers, theories and practices from cor rectional institutions and indepen dent health department studies which form the correctional in stitutional guidelines on testing and treating AIDS in state and federal correctional facilities. A lot of these guidelines are now out of date even though they were com piled in 2-4/86. Medical issues are covered, such as detention, diagnosis, and medical surveillance. Testing high risk groups, mandatory and voluntary testing, and staff education are also covered, as are legal issues. There probably could be no worse place for an AIDS or ARC victim than in the correctional facilities of the U.S. Prisoners who have symptoms are put in special confinement quarters, isolated from the prison population and are most ly double punished and neglected. So, the person not only suffers from the effects of the virus, but also the sterile attitudes of prison staffers.

R0SENKRANTZ CONVICTION Many may already know about Robert Rosenkrantz from news announcements an an extensive story in The Advo cate (Issue #459) by Dan Siminoski. But for those who may have missed it, Robert is a 19-year-old gay man who killed a school friend for emotionally fag-bashing him. In an effort to remain closeted, Robert tried to get his friend to recant his accusations to Robert's family that he was gay, and in the passion of the verbal exchange, he shot the friend with a semiauto matic gun. Robert has been sen tenced to 17 years to life and is anxious to receive mail. Write: Robert Rosenkrantz D-34119, Room 1293-X , P.0. Box 8701, San Luis Obispo, CA 93409. LESBIAN AND GAY PRISONERS PROJECT The Homosexual Prisoners Project was revived at the 8th Annual Con ference of the International Les bian and Gay Association (ILGA) held in Copenhagen this year. The ILGA announced at the plenary ses sion that, "Since the ongoing Am nesty International investigation has not yet taken up homosexual 'crimes' as being 'political,' it is essential that the world-wide homosexual community take respon sibility for our colleagues. We intend to start Amnesty-like sup port groups working with individu al prisoners." The ILGA is attempting to gather material about gay men and lesbians in prison for violating age of con sent laws and for violating laws forbidding homosexuality as such. They are also looking for informa tion about cruel and unusual punishment of homosexuals in prison for acts not pertaining to sexuality. Any prisoner or friend of prisoners who has information that would be useful to this ef fort, or who would like to know how to start a support group of homosexual prisoners, should write: Peter Wingquist, Homosexual Prisoners Project, Box 17218, 104 62 Stockholm, Sweden.

Mail Scam : Further Episodes of Gay Life in Prison

fellow who was getting out of prison. Well, when the fag never showed the dude became worried and called here. Administration told him the fellow he was writing to had 25-to-life and would probably never get out.

by W esley Johnson (Cham p)

Well, nothing more came and then about a month later the fag got a letter from the dude's mother. The dude took a shotgun and put it in his mouth and sprayed his brains all over his bedroom.

Copyright 1986, Upward Productions [Wesley Johnson, also known as Champ, is woking on a book and has completed 25 chapters. Last issue we pr inted "Love Among the Ruins." This issue we have "Mail Scam."]

Then, I discovered the art of writing to fags for fun and profit. One of the oldest tricks is the mail scam. Usually, an ad would look like this: Hi! I am a W/M, 5'10", 180 pounds, blond hair, blue eyes, 20. I go home next year but I am very lonely and have no one out there. Please wr^e. Just look at some ads from folks in prison. Most are (1) young and/or (2) getting out in 24 months or less. For some poor lonely fag on the outÂ side, what more is needed? But, look at it from the prisoner's point. In here you get 3 meals a day and that is it! You want a smoke, a radio, shoes, socks, and some food worth eating. Ya got to make ends meet. How many people are going to respond to:

This really fucked up my friend, me, and needless to say, the dude and his whole family. So I just can't play with anyone's love for money anymore. Now when I write ads I come off as very honest. Since I do that it means that T ain't writing any! Who the fuck wants a lifer? I used to do it and rather well, but man, over the past few years I have gone through some head changes about myself and fags and the world and so on. You saw my ad. It makes me sound like the last person to write to because I got so much time left to do. Well, all I have is my gayness, nothing else. The guards can come in here and take away everything in this cell at any time and leave me standing here naked, but I will still have the fuckin' belief that I am better, I am more, because I am gay! For me to turn around and beat fags through the mail, well, that's fucked up. Don't misunderstand. I want some fags to write to me and send me stuff because Idon't have shit and need it. When they send it, I want it to be because I am another gay person who fuckin' damn well needs it! Back then, Ifound a fag that was willing to kick out for me to get a good degree from some correspondence school. How about a fuckin' AA or BA? In what? Oh, how about criminology!! Can you think of a better degree for someone who is going to end up doing 25 years and change? I will have all the views. They will test me and all that shit here. I almost had the fag send me to school. I checked it out with the school department here, and they would allow the books and handle the tests and so on, but he found out I was not going to be out in a few years, so he dropped me faster than an AIDS victim drops weight!

Hello. I am 30 years old. Have 155 years left to do. I am lonely. So fucking what! So you run an ad, tell them you got only so much time left and hit a couple for $100 for plane fare and clothes to get you there. You hit 5 or 6 like that a year and you are doing okay. Shit, you can live good in here, if ya don't smoke tobacco, on $10 to$18 a week. Of course you can't get high too ofÂ ten, but what the fuck are we talking about?? The very bare shit: Soap, shampoo, razor blades, toothpaste, coffee (lots of coffee) and food! My first ad was in Screw. I got about 60 letters (in 1979) and out of that I hit 20. A friend of mine (a fag) cut me into it. He also broke me out of it when this happened.... He spent about 10 months writing one fag. The dude was on the young side, 25 or 26. After about 10 months the dude was in love very hard so he sends the money to the fag to come home with. Now this dude has come out of the closet, told his family what was up and that he loved this

Everybody, Som ebody, A n yb o d y, & N obody by Israel P erkin s There was an important job to be done, and Fverybody was sure that somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought anybody could do it, but nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed somebody when nobody did what "anybody" could have. 33

Jo in t V en tu re NEWS OF A N E W 'VENTURE1

Ingenuity supports principle that's the news at Joint Venture. Because JV insiders are for bidden to beg for money or gifts, the organization itself refrains from seeking large-scale donations. But as the number of listings has gone well over the 1000 mark (in a directory of more than 70 pages), it has become ever more difficult to exist on the slender income provided by subscriptions and forwarding fees. Where other organizations might launch a fund drive, JV has decided instead to increase its income by doing more: applying the experience and expertise gained from running a prison pen pal operation to an entirely new area. Already in the mail is the first issue of Venture 2, a new publication in which the techniques and management which have made the prison correspondence operation successful are applied to correspondence and contact between gays who are not in prison. --More than "just another penpal paper," Venture 2 is a unique approach to the problems of gays seeking gays, whether for a relationship or just a night. For information and rates, send an SASE to: Venture 2, P. O. Box 26-8484, Chicago, IL 60626. SU MMING U P — A LETTER FROM J V ' S P R ES ID EN T

(This time of year, all of us tend to look back at what the year has meant to us. Joint Ven ture’s president is uniquely equipped to measure one activity in 1986, and w e ’d like to share with RF D readers his December letter to our membership.) As you read this, I have just finished a "log" on December 4, 1985. During that which were to inmates across the nation. exemplary of what Joint Venture offers to

year of correspondence, which I arbitrarily began to time I wrote nearly 700 letters, about 85 percent of I would like to report on that because I think it is all its members.

I wrote to 18 different men, about half of them black. Like you I chose them on looks, simiinterests, even birthdays and sheer whim. The only thing I consciously avoided were choices specifically based on intelligence and education. (I already know too many screwed-up gays with doctorates.) One inmate never responded. I made and lost a couple of friendships for various reasons: we just didn't hit it off. There was one attempt to rip me off, which we detected through the network of cross-checking that JV has built into its operation. There was one genuine whiner, for whom I still have no adequate responses. Two inmates were released, and I haven't heard from them since they left prison. I formed three intimate and continuing friendships: one is with a guy who won't be released until 1992; another looks forward to release next sunnier; and it appears that the third of my men will be here with me soon after New Year's Day. Over the year I ran into paranoia, fear, anger, frustration, and suspicion. But I also exper ienced with many of my men mutual trust, joy, laughter (those familiar prison ’smiles'), sur prise, some unmitigated lust, and more honesty between two men than I had expected. Sounds just like the outside, doesn't it? It has been worth it, for both the positive and the negative experiences. It would have been worth it for a single letter I received last month from a man serving a life sentence for mur der. It began, "I was really surprised and pleased by your letter to me. I haven't had mail from nobody in six years." So I am going to do it again, or, rather, continue what I am) doing. I wish you warm and happy holiday greetings. Thanks for caring for our men behind bars. You will never quite know what you have done for them, but they won't soon forget it. / Is id o r e / .

----- __

Richard Norton, President If ^ou haven't yet discovered the Joint Venture experience, send us an SASE and we'll tell you more about it....

P. O. BOX 26-8484 34

CHICAGO, IL 60626

He can't remember ever having done anything to offend anyone. He assumed that he could get by in the city by sticking to himself. Last April, two young men in Lewiston decided his existence was offensive.

Killing To Save One’s Life:

John Lalibertie and Timothy Mercier, both in their early twenties, began to verbally abuse Gravel--abuse that later escalated into harassing the gay man when he was driving alone in his car, forcing him to make illegal turns and frightening him by yelling "faggot."

The Story of a Gay Avenger

Gravel tried everything to defuse the situation. He left a note under Lalibertie's windshield wiper one day: "We all live in the same neighborhood. You lead your life. I'll lead mine." It did no good. Lalibertie accused him of defacing his car. He chased Gravel, knocked him down and kicked him. There was no doubt as to how angry the young man was. Gravel told the Telegram that Lalibertie told him: "I'm going to kill you. I don't care how long it takes, faggot."

by John Preston [Reprinted from Bay W i n d o w s , April 17, 1986, vol. no. 16.]

IV,

The Androscoggin County Grand Jury refused to indict Robert Gravel of Lewiston, Maine for either murder or manslaughter in the November 3, 1985 death of Joseph Saucier. The decision, made on December 11, trans lates into a statement that the jury believed Gravel had committed justifiable homicide. The state Attor ney General's office plans no further action in the case.

Maine is a hunting state. Guns are easy to get and to learn to use. Gravel went to a relative and was given the pistol and a box of shells. He took that threat against his life seriously. Lalibertie and his friends continued the harassment and Gravel continued to try to find ways to get them to leave him alone. He went to a lawyer and swore out a harassment notice against Lalibertie. In Maine, there is no legal charge of harassment until such a warrant is filed. According to police department records, the officer who delivered the written notice to Lalibertie was greeted with contempt by the young man's friends. He reported their attitude:

No one argues the facts in the face. On that day in November, Saucier, 24, and a group of his friends went to Gravel's apartment in the aging factory city of Lewiston. They attempted to enter the apartment, first by using fake names and disguising their voices and later, by trying to force open the front door. The intervention of Gravel's landlord and Gravel's announcement that he was about to call the police seemed to cool the men down for a while.

"Lalibertie's friends then started to make various comments that they were going to get even with Gravel . They claimed that since they had not received such a letter they could not be touched. I warned them that if they were ID'd as harassing Gravel I would issue them a summons, as they were now being warned."

But Gravel could see their vehicles still parked on the street. Refore the Lewiston police could respond to his panicked phone calls, Gravel went to the out side door of his apartment house. Gravel told Port land's 9iir Paper that a man he thought was acting as a look-out yelled to the others and began to run towards him. Gravel, who had a .22 calibre pistol in his hand, fired into the air. The man ignored the warning and continued to approach him. Gravel told Our Paper, "I never thought I could hurt anybody, hut I was afraid to die."

Still, the young men kept it up. In December, after another series of automobile harassments, Gravel called Lalibertie's and Mercier's mothers. He begged them to call off their sons. He told the Tel egram that he spent that night at home alone, rocfclng in his rocking chair with the lights out. He was terrified.

He pointed the pistol and shot him three times. Two of the bullets hit: one struck Saucier's head, the other entered his body and lodged in his liver.

The next day, the men appeared. They began trying to enter the apartment. Gravel told Our Paper that he had no doubt they were out to seven months of harassment had been topped with incredible frustration. He had done everything he could and he had done it right.

k111 TTm. The

Robert Gravel isn't the type of person one would think of as a gay avenger. He's a 35-year old shipping clerk for a Lewiston shoe factory. A descendent of one of the thousands of French families that immigrat ed to Maine from Quebec at the turn of the century, he was born into a large family--he has twelve brothers and sisters in the mill city.

He had approached the men's families, a traditional means of cooling disagreements in New England. It hadn't worked. Rut there was the pistol in the drawer. Gravel had never shot a gun before. But he was convinced that he was going to die. Gravel told the Telegram, "I was cornered. You corner an animal and what does he do? It's survival. . . . You don't point guns at people. But they said they were going to kill me and this was . . . judgment day."

Gravel's homosexuality wasn't really an issue for him. He simply lived his life. He told the Maine Sunday Telegram, "This is what I believe, what I want to do. T don't force anybody and I don't ask anybody. I have my special friend." His life was as ordinary as it could be. He went to work, over-indulged in his pastry-making hobby and spent his weekend nights at the Sportmen's Social Club, Lewiston's popular gay bar.

The judgment didn't come easy to Grave. He's sought counseling and has been hospitalized for chest pains since the incident. He told the Telegram, "I think 35

it was a broken heart from what I have done. I didn't want to do that. But I wanted to keep on living."

rocked by a homophobic murder. The 1984 killing of Charlie Howard the same brutal evidence of the extent of homophobia in our society. There, a group of teen agers felt it was all right to throw a young gay man over a bridge and to his death in a swirling river Now, young men only a little older, feel the same permission to harass and badger a gay man to the point w ere he s forced to kill and they feel no remorse for

What happened? Could it have been stopped? There's no doubt that the one specific incident was fueled by drinking. Saucier had an alcohol blood level well over Maine's legal definition of intoxication. But the drinking wasn't the real problem. Lalibertie has refused to discuss the case. He's pleaded guilty of the charge of having harassed Gravel and paid a $35 fine. But Mercier had no trouble telling us the real cause of the incident.

Gravel's left alone with the stunned reality that he had to kill to save his own life. It is not comfort able for him at all. He told the Telegram that he went to Saucier’s grave last month to visit the dead man. "I went there to do what I had to do, to make peace with him."

He told the Telegram: "[Gravel] got away with it be cause he was gay . . . I'd smash any homo . . . Be cause they are gay. Weird. Sick. I'd like to smash this guy [Gravel]." For the second time in two years.

IP mm

"What was there so much hatred for me?" he asked the newspaper reporter. "It's something I can't compre hend. It's ruined my life."

Maine has been

* p m

MIKHAIL and VLADIMIR by

Big Stone

Mikhail's tiny apartment was full of life that night. His good friend Vladimir had come to visit and show off his latest sketches. Mikhail returned tie complement by sharing a few of his newest poems. They critiqued each others' works and discussed the most recent news. Outside the Moscow winter howled m vain, unable to touch their world.

Wm c. 1986

fiery John Reed and had written an epic poem describing the American hero's exploits. Now, in the winter of 1920, the revolutionaries' idealism was still running high despite many problems. The peasants had rebelled against the government's farm policies and concessions had been made to them - dangerous, capitalistic ones in the eyes of some. But Lenin himself had ordered it and if his judgement could not be trusted then the revolution was in serious trouble. Food was scarce and expensive because of these problems, but men like Mikhail and Vladimir put up with them, still confident that things could only get better as the revolution progressed.

The three years since the revolution had been good ones for gay men and women in Russia. Lenin and his followers had swept away the Tsarist laws with their mediaeval penalities and declared homosexuality a "latter for scientific study, not government regula tion. In the atmosphere of sexual tolerance that toll owed, gay artists, actors, and writers spear headed a renaissance in Russia’s cultural arts.

As the two friends passed a shared cigarette back and forth, their conversation dwindled to small talk. Vladimir glanced out the window at the swirling snow from time to time as if he were looking for something. Mikhail wondered what was on his friend's mind and asked him.

Two of many young men attracted to Moscow by their Politics, sexuality, and dreams, Mikhail and Vladimir had met by chance in the revolutionary swirl of activity that went on in the capital of the infant communist state. The government was composed of dreamers and visionaries, and their messiah was the incomparable Lenin. He possessed the qualities of true leadership and artistic sensitivity - traits rare in themselves, but even rarer when found com bined in one individual. It was little wonder then that expectations ran so high in those days expectations of worldwide communist revolution, followed by universal peace.

"Ah, I was just wondering when this storm would die down. I must go apartment-hunting tomorrow and it is not good to be out in such weather." "Are you moving?" Mikhail asked, a little surprised to see his friend nod yes, "Why?" "The party needs the building I live in now for office space, so the tenants have a week to find other accommodations. I am not complaining mind you, the officials who were sent to tell us the news were very sorry - you could see it in their faces. And we must expect to make sacrifices if the revolution is to succeed."

The concept was a compelling one, attracting support 'rom war-weary intellectuals all over the world. Moscow had become something of an international city, with revolutionaries from all parts of Europe and even from America fighting for a common cause. Indeed, Mikhail had actually gotten to meet the 36

"Of course,... but, have you thought about where you would like to move to?"

torso was literally covered with a thick growth of red hair which made him chuckle.

"Not really, as long as it is warm. Do you know of any apartments for rent?"

"How could you be worried about the weather," he asked, "with a pelt like that?"

"I am afraid not," began Mikhail with a smile, "but I might know of one you could share."

"You would be surprised how cold I get even with this fur." Vladimir said, running a hand over his hairy chest. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed and extended a large, booted foot towards Mikhail. "Would you help me off with these?"

"Oh?" "It is not much," he said, taking in the sparsely furnished apartment with a gesture of his hand, "but I can guarantee you a warm bed."

Mikhail gladly knelt and removed his friend's boots and socks. He found their musky odor most stimulating, but it was the warm feel of Vladimir's skin that pleased him most.

"Do you mean it?" "Yes." Mikhail said more seriously, "I... I would like you to come live with me, Vladimir."

"Ah, it is just as I thought," Mikhail said as he held one of Vladimir's big feet, "even your feet are beautiful. I shall kiss them."

"Oh Mikhail." Vladimir said softly, touched by his friend's offer. Putting out the cigarette, he got up f"om his seat and walked around behind Mikhail's chair. Soon, Vladimir's strong hands were kneading Mikhail's shoulders and back lovingly.

"No, don't! I am, ha ha, ticklish, ha ha ha!" Vladimir gasped. Mikhail did not stop at the ankle, but continued to kiss and play-bite his way up the inseam of his friend's pantleg until he reached the hardened crotch. There h 1s lips detected a lump of generous proportions. In the meantime, Vladimir had been busy undoing and removing Mikhail's shirts.

"Ah, that feels so good, so gentle." Mikhail breathed, his body gone limp with pleasure. "This would be better if we removed our clothes." Vladimir suggested after a few moments.

Discarding the clothing, Vladimir reached down and hauled his now half-naked friend up onto the bed. It squeaked and groaned in protest as the two men rolled, kissed, and hugged each other tightly. Outside the Moscow winter howled in vain, unable to touch their world.

Mikhail was far from protesting at that point and moved to turn down his bed while Vladimir shed his shirts. Mikhail had always admired his friend's muscular physique, a legacy from Vladimir's hardy peasant forbears. Now Mikhail noted that his friend's

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flee through the night--on a highway through the 'desert. And I am a fugitive in the dark now-sleep ing, hiding from the daylight; lurking through the night. Life at night is always electric. It drips with the clarity and color of adrenaline. In roadside diners the lights are always archly globular and clean. He looks over the large pastel-plastic menu and sneaks glimpses of me and smiles behind the menu. He makes me smile. There are the regular stops at service stations where I feed the car and he huys Cokes and more maps to study. He has always studied maps and charts--ever since he was seven. It was a learning interest I had encouraged and fed--T bought him charts, maps, globes, books, anything he needed and wanted to facilitate and satisfy his curiosities about the world. At first, as he was a child, I gave him everything and then later, when he became a teenager, I provided him the opportunity to cultivate his wants through indus try and thri ft. So, he studies and virtually memorizes the road maps he picks up at every service station. He reads them like books--he builds a theme and plot around the little dots, flags, roadlines, statelines, elevations. He insists on our driving up to Seattle to live be cause I had once given him a picture of whales swim ming in the Puget Sound. I acquiesce because I am living on the run and really feel numb to decisions and expectations.

3V (JEfT*^&y We drive away forever, together. This dark sparkling evening we wear like a spangled bracelet at a dance. Sometimes I panic or begin to think. Then he rests a hand on my shoulder. It doesn't frighten me any longer. In the mornings, after a full night of driving, after sharing each glorious cross-country sunrise, I lay naked and alone upon a rumpled double bed in a cheap clammy roadside motel. My hair is wet--I am relaxed, tired. The cigarette smoke rises lazily to the ceil ing like cottony syrup. I remember that once I tried earnestly to stop this awful thing, to stop it only after it was in full swing. I tried dramatically, expecting to look foolish, hoping not to succeed. put my most clownish faults came to him as words of love and he responded and I fell. He was asleep like a baby curled in my arms, as he had once been, and I whispered in his ear, "This can never happen again, baby. I'm sorry." He did not hear me or awaken. But he said to me, "Where did you pick up your rules, old boy? I've been to heaven and back and I haven't seen anything like your fucking rules!" Then he nestled closer next to me and sighed.

It doesn't bother him, none of it--he doesn't worry. It 1s a great adventure for him. Though he isn't a selfish boy (no, at seventeen he's not a boy any longerl, he cannot, does not, deny the intense pleasuse this interminable trip gives him.

Coming out of the shower, lean and bare except for a damp towel around his waist, he slips onto the bed, into my arms. For him it is easy to shift roles rapidly from son to lover to wife to husband. I sim ply do not resist the current. Like a dazed Ophelia my body rafts downstream in cool beflowered waters of momentary grace. We open our hearts, our bodies, making love or silent conversation.

He has a totally current-modern focussing o f attention--guilt, shame, doubt do not dare plague his feelings. Yet he understands me deeply. He tends my wounds and loves. He sits at my feet with admiration and be guides me, too. For T have always been a good father and my parenting has been my passion, my passion is my pleasure and my pain. And what is this thing I do--a father eloping off the Farth with his son? I do not attempt to explain it; I'am beyond justifications. We are lovers; we touch as well as talk. He leadeth me to lie down; I shall not worry. We are committed.

For him this is the highway to great and eternal phenomena. This road unfolds before his moist parted Tips like a rose dripping for consumption. I have abandoned everything--family, career, friends. The red tail-lights ahead dip and curve like twin stars caught in a slow whirlpool. My tail-lights follow behind. I look at my boy. His head is resting back against the seat and turned toward me. He gazes back into my constrained, angry heart and smiles. Thus we continue into the long stretch of liquid night--two enflamed particles bound together in the timeless, ceaseless eddy of explored temptation.

â&#x20AC;¢An Examination Of Lifestyle Options*

(with

perhaps MORE

the Lat t er

than

t h e Former

but

(prepared in Washington, D.C.) 39

OH W E L L )

RE IM BU RS ED FOR DREAMING A lot of thought went Into this feature of Ho us e holds, Communities and Sanctuaries. There were the easy solutions - a history of past and present c o m munities, their hopes and destinies. During a visit in NYC, to the mu ch -bewindowed apartment in the Upper West Side, a loving spirit permeated the place, c o n veying The Essence of FELLOWSHIP there in the call ou s ed heart of Manhattan. People came and went, pausing long enough to participate in communion of some kind. There I began to examine the vital role of Households in the confluence of our network. In NYC, with the sounds of 91st and Broadway filtering up several floors, I saw that households are the basic unit from which expanding co mm un it y is formed. To shift to another level: examine YOUR household. RFP is FOR country gays - a yo u will all nod your heads and say Yes Ho w Did He Know? — standing by the ma ilbox in the dust of the post-person --- The thing is that many of R F P *s readers live in urban areas out of necessity, not choice. Well, we CHOOSE to live where we can make Money. THEN we can go to the country for awhile. Here, I feel, is where ou r network may serve to satisfy o u r several needs. You have a place - be it land and conscious collective ON that land, or you have a house or an apartment. Wh er ev er you live. Make yourself known to ot hers if you want what is available. Another interesting balance is for you, upon vi siting a city yourself — Many of us have space enough to house you comfortably, especially if o f f e r ed as much in return. The 'Household' as pect of this feature was not specifically dealt with: but you have only to read the Contact Letters section to re alize exactly what insight into the role of households in the cultivation of our chosen alternative. In an other era we were led to believe that e x pansive community's basic unit was the nu clear family. The new Christian right is currently thrashing us with the remnants of that tired line. The Faeries have had a little time to find each other. Our households, sanctuaries and communities are little punctuations across the body of America and the world. We are the pioneers o f the present and future - set to rediscover for ourselves a new basic unit of nourishment and nurturement. The materials directly pertaining to the sworn focus of this issue are - I feel - good examples of the nebulous focale. (Stevie's objective look at life from wi thin the Short Mo untain S a n c t u a r y ; Plum Nelly's accounting of his life as a new-age father in a large family; Joseph Salack's tale of living in a spiritual community.) And, perhaps T should tell you ho w deadline approached wearing quiet sneakers up the ca rpeted hallway, and there we were, or there I was, as the case turned out. Ironically, the on ly other co mmunity issue (although the feature was done by a group) was done by a c o l lective of One: Ron Lambe (issue #37). We laughed at the applicable ironies over the phone. Due to the deadline and available ma terials (or lack thereof) I threw in a lot of my own stuff. Well, I figured, here I was, in my 3' x 5' household doing this issue on Expansive Co mmunity — little diversity in materials — why NOT throw in some FUN? The 'MR. MASON - Advice Fo r a Price' was ki cking around for a while - a ye ar or more - Shuffling papers p r e pa ri ng for this, I discovered 'Mr. Mason' who gl ared at me to be included. It's ce rtainly a difference in

material for R F P . Through the tartness, I hope the humor (humor was intended!) can be seen. But, there is this vision within me I fear: you, at your kitchen table thinking 'RFP is really scraping the bo tt om of the barrell with THIS C R A P ! ’ We're not REALLY asking money for advice (but we'd TAKE IT!) The Write-ItDown-And-Run News Briefs was born in 1981 when a si nk hole opened in W i nt er Park, Florida. At one side of the sinkhole was an Imported Car lot, and the sinkhole ate something like 27 Mercedes Benz's before its h u n ger was slaked. My apartment was 9 blocks from the Sinkhole (now known as New Lake.) I do hope that you may enjoy this attempt at a little dry humor — (very little and very d r y ) ..... It'd be really wonderful to get REAL letters to Mr. Mason, but writ in g my own, I was able to do so u n afraid of offe nd in g anyone (in specific.) Well, enough explanation and apology. We live under the threat of AIDS in a world that has no sympathy; which eagerly blames us for the same threat coming close to where they live. On all this is hu ng the spectres of a mu ch -d is pl ea se d Go d and J e s u s .....in the end, we are all we really have. Rut then, I'm still an idealist, though thrashed about and rubbed raw on the jagged edges. My vision keeps coalescing in a furthered unit of us, dear readers. That with trial by fire we are bound only the tighter. We must ke ep ou r hearts alive.

AN RFP EXCLUSIVE:

INTERVIEW W/ GOD

RFD's Roving Reporter ran into God at an Instant Teller just off Dupont Circle. Ne arly unrecognizable in his dark glasses, God wa ri ly agreed to an inte rv ie w prov id in g that we took no pi ctures and did not want an autograph. "I kn ow ho w people ARE" said God. "They finagle an autograph, then they lord it ov er people at P a r t£es for YEARS to come. Parties to which I have not been invited. I'm tired of being Used." ~ RFD: God, yo u have been at the center of on going c o n troversy since Day One, and pres en tl y are stated to be at the b o t t o m of the New Christian Right wh ic h is set ting up moral standards with a sharp cutting edge have yo u anything to tell us about all this? I mean, yo u AP PE AR to be a pretty nice g u y ....." GOT: "Well, yo u see, I made a big mistake. I was w o r k ing on a book of mysticism, and deadline was ap p r o a c h ing. So, I was wo rk in g ar ound the clock, sometimes not resting for nearly a week. I made the mi stake of 'farming' some chapters out. (If you say 'Ghost Wr iter you will not be happy.) We auditioned several writers but in the end I just have to kick myself - if you wa nt a job done right, you'd better do it yourself." RFD: God, I'm so glad to have run into you. The m a g azine is going to press an d this will be really juicy dish. Thank you. GOD: "Well, I've always LIKED the country. But I'll be in the City 33 more hours and I'm staying at the ______________• (Here God gave the name and address of some Fairies in the District, with surprisingly lewd suggestions about what we could do should I corre to visit. "I've just got a ne w flick, and I br ought my own V C R ." RFD: But Go d - you should k n o w the almost sacred w i sd om of seminal retention. GOD: "Well, I ’ll tell y o u - it's been QUITE awhile. I'm ge aring up to come again." (R F D : p .s .:::We had a heavenly time. God, yes.J

AT HOME AT LAST

by JOSEPH SALACK Coming ou t to the circle was not easy. No t because of any actions on their part. But just in terms of our times, coming out can be an emotionally trying experience. In my history telling my father or a close friend took an awful lot of inner turmoil and hemming and hawing to finally say it. And here I was pl anning to come out to a group of a dozen p e o p l e . But the only stress about it was the anxiety and fear that I was carrying around about what could happen. Wh at has happened is that everyone is fine with it.

"Community evokes in the individual the feeling that "Here is where I belong, these are my people, I care for them, they care for me, I am part o f them, I kn ow wh at they expect from me and I from them, they share my concerns. I kn ow this place, I am on familiar ground, I am at h o m e ." D. Yankelovitch, NEW RULES

And so, one of the reasons for writing this article is to suggest to RFD-crs another p o s s i b ility of getting out into the country. To get the finances together to rent or buy land and shelter in the country, plus outfit yourself with tools and a vehicle is not within most of ou r financial grasp. To say nothing of the requisite skill, ambition and fortitude to make the shift from urban living to rural homesteading. An d so to

I'm going on m y sixth month of being, living, re joicing in the country. And these mountains of northern N e w Mexico, the pe op le I live with and the work I've taken on still feel as good as the first days I mo ve d here back in September. Better, actually. This process has been a long time coming. And I'm w r it in g to urge all yo u others on, who have held on to fantasies and dreams. There's nothing like checking them out, making the plunge. They ma y even happen.

"T O RESIDE

It's hard to trace down those first murmurs of desire, feeling diss at is fi ed wi th the ur bo/technoworld and want in g something other, half a lifetime away. One thing I do remember, when I was 14 or 15, reading up in my room in a suburb of Chicago, is coming across a question: "Which my th appeals to you more: Jo hn ny Appleseed or Henry Ford?" I wanted to emblazon that on my wall, with a large apple tree pain te d next to it. That incident triggered the dreaming that has finally brought me here, to a place and a lifestyle that I've wanted for so long.

IN A

COM M UNITY COULD BE A STEP ON THE W AY." I ask myself W hy did it take almost 30 y e a rs?

'Here' is the Lama Foundation, a spiritual c o m munity at 8,600', situated in pi ne -f or es te d mountains looking west o v e r the Rio Grande gorge. A very sp e c tacular setting for a place with some great vibes and good ideas on ho w to live together, on ho w to c r e ate and sustain the ki nd of living en vi ronment that has attr ac te d us to be here in the first place. ('Sustain', in the last sentence deserves some em phasis: Lama's been around for 18 years.) The c u r rent resident po pu la ti on is 14 adults, 8 men, 6 women, and 3 kids. And I'm the on l y gay person here. Perhaps bad news for RFD readers. But for me that's only a little minus among a whole field of posi ti ve things ha ppening here. I do miss ha ving ot he r gay men here on the mountain to share and connect and be playful with. It seems to be the shared dilemma of gay men in the country. But this lifestyle is feeding me in o t h e r ways. And I do have the a c c e p tance and support for the aspects of my self that I ’m acknowledging and sharing.

reside in a community could be a step on the way. Especially in terms of acquiring some insight for alternative lifestyles and to gain some practical skills and experience. There's a recently-published book called Builders of the Dawn by Mc La ug hl in and Davidson, about people who are pool in g their energies and visions and talents to create a world as they'd like it. None of the communities ment io ne d are gay, per s e . But like East Wind community in M i s souri, some may have an op enness to ga y individuals or couples as residents. From my own experience, my being in the Lama co mm un it y is o f fe ri ng me lots of support on a multitude o f levels and a ve ry e n riching experience. This isn't the place I'm going to spend the rest of my life, but now, as I revel in the beauty and serenity of being in the country, I ask myself why did it take almost 30 years? So consider Comm un it y an option. You may not find a sex p a rt ne r or lover, but then again, wh o knows? Joseph Salack

At Short Mountain we are learning the value of "checking in" with each other, trying not to let differences fester. We have set-up our "family circle" as a me di um to feel safer about checking in with each other. This has facilitated living together in greater harmoney. Emotional issues may not be resolved qu ickly or easily but by laying the cards on the table it enables us to play our hands with more information. If yo u kn ow where someone is coming from it creates a more complete un de r standing of the situation. The greatest gift for me that has come from living in a community is a stronger sense of my Self. This self has learned : not to get all hot and b o th er ed wh en things don't go my way; to give thanks for m y blessings and the abundance of life; to appreciate or at least try to appreciate each individual's gifts and to empower them; to be more committed in my re lationships, so I feel a much de eper connection; most of all I've learned to love myself. You might ask why did he need to live in a community to learn that. By getting constant feedback about who I am from the people I live with, I was able to change the aspects of my self that I didn't like. In looking at myself I discovered the abundance: of love in my heart, and let that overflow. To feel love and to share it; I have a little mantra now: "I am Loving, I am Loved." Living in a co mmunity has aided me in my search for my self.

Living in community is like being in a primary relationship : it's not always easy but the rewards are worth it. T have been living at Short Mountain Sanctuary for three years now, at times I wo nder what the hell am I doing here, then there are other times when we all work to ge ther on a hard project and it's completed with ve ry little effort. Days like that re mind me of the joys of living, working and playing, creating our own families. Many people fear that by living in a group they will lose their individuality. This is true to a degree. One learns to balance the self with what's best for the common good. We c a n ’t always have it our way. Learning the balance empowers the self. The need for a give and take makes a stronger you, through compromise and cooperation I can be tter understand what my needs a r e .

If any of y o u have thought about living in a community I encourage y o u to try it. Like a boyfriend if it doesn't work out you aren't co mmitted for the rest of your life. Though don't run away the first time someone confronts you about doing your share of the dishes. It's an op po rt un it y for growth, make the most of it.

Some of the greatest joys for me about living in community is the awareness that we are creating a society or culture that meets O U R needs. We control our day to day lives. We work for ourselves, not The Man, b e n e f i t i n g totally from that work. In wo rking together we can see the fruits of our labor and truly experience "many hands make light work." What I enjoy the most is knowing that by creating Sanctuary for Lesbians and gay men there is an environment that anyone in need can come and take ad vantage o f . Having a sanctuary in these times is very important. A place where we can go to re charge, enabling us to go back and move through the work with strength. As in a primary relationship there are days when things are not flowing in the co m munity. Here's where there's a difference between the two. In a relationship you choose wh o you interact with, in a community you could be living with someone that you might not choose to associate with if you were living in a city. This is where c o m muni ca ti on is the key. Interpersonal dynamics can be a difficult dance.

In our family, Mo m and Dad have always been a little queer. I can't say ho w things will be in the future, but for now this particular difference is not a problem. The children are more unhappy that we do not have a TV in our home than by the fact that their Dad ma y wear a house dress.

creating the NEW CLEAR FAMILY

I GUESS you might ask why am I doing all of this. After all I am a gay man, and she is a lesbian. And where do all those kids fit into the pi c t u r e ? — What is it that makes it all work?

A QUEER PERSPECTIVE

FIRST, having another adult to share it all with is of the utmost importance. Raising children is a full time job and requires a tremendous effort, both ph ys ic al ly and psychologically. Unless circumstances have forced you to be a single parent I don't r e c o m me n d it.

WHEN you've be en doing something for 16 years and that something seems so ordinary, it's hard to k n o w where to begin. I am the father of 5 children: 4 boys ages 16, 13, 10, 7 and a girl age 10. I am married, and all 7 of us live on a farm in Rural Americana. Wh at could be more or dinary than that?

The children are more unhappy that we do not have a TV than by the fact that Dad may wear a house dress

PLEASE don't get the wr on g impression, however. I am not a biological father. It's not my style. I am a gay man. I've been qu ee r ever since I can re member. The ch ildren are all adopted. Some came to live wi th us wh en they were only weeks old. Others were toddlers. My co-parent, pa rtner and friend is a lesbian. We have be en m a rr ie d for 18 years. We've kn ow n each ot he r for almost 25 years.

IN my case the term "father", other than d e s c ribing the male parent, does n' t seem appropriate. It doesn't say enough about the role I perform. I'm just not the traditional father most people think of wh e n they think of "a father." SECOND, it is necessary to have a solid, mature wo rking relationship with your partner, be that p a r t ner another man, woman, triad, quartet, etc. The numbers and combinations pale in light of a strong co mm it me nt to each other. THIRD, besides being very rewarding on a personal level, it is lots of fun. I don't want anyone to think I am implying that being in the family way is the only activity which is truly rewarding. Far from it! I am writing about being a parent, however, and for me it is very true.

TO be gi n with, economic circumstances have kept me at home while the "mother" has gone out of the house to work. Sometimes I think of myself as America's Last Housewife. Let me say that being a "Housewife" is indeed a full time job. I don't think mo s t pe ople realise ho w demanding a job it can be. I am lucky enough to have a partner that does more than he r share to h e l p af te r she gets home from a ha rd day at the office. I can on ly imagine wh at it must be like in all those traditional "All Am erican Homes" where the man "works" and the woman "just stays home".

I am a parent because I WA NT to be a parent. The most important thing is to be true to yourself. Breaking stereotypes is always a bit risky. If yo u are into becoming a parent, don't let the "conventional wisdom" stop you. Lead the kind of life you find rewarding. Create your own reality. There are many ways to create the "NEW CLEAR" Family. You might even come up with a new way.

IN some family situations, when a parent comes out after having had children, there can be a great deal of pain and anger cr eated by this ne w reality. Suddenly the children see their mo th er or father be having differently, and this of te n leads to a great deal of insecurity in young minds.

I wonder what that might be ?? PLUM NELLY

Public Awareness exhibited itself in the swift recognition on the Faces of the Roving Punks: taking in the Open Wound and the Potential Ramifications: they SCATTERED, with horrified 'I' m - g o i n g - b u t - I '11b e - b a c k - a n d - v h e n - I - d o - I 1m- b r i n g i n g - m y - b r o t h e r ' looks on their faces. Oh, it was too much.

The WRITE IT DOWN AND RUN hews service

D.Q. circed on down the street, with a gentle wind trying to bl ow through the gigantic silver Dolly Parton wig. When approached by this RFD Interviewer, D.Q. said: "Ooooooooooohhh YESSSS.". Isn't RFD that hot little journal for queers wh o get their mail in BOXES, way way out in The Stix? 'For Game Men Ever WEAR'? Well, Stuff, let me tell YOU.' I spent a weekend in a motel just off the interstate somewhere near Asheville (that's in the country yo u know) and that is one of my BEST memories of ALL TIME! I've BEEN to the C O U N T R Y , and I'd go back any t i m e ! Of course the closest I actually GO T to the country was walking through the Pa rking Lot to the Car, but I could see it, off in the distance. But still, I've BEEN THERE!"

(News Briefs From THE

...To counter the swirling rise of anti-gay terrorism sweeping the nation and world, some surprising new methods of self-defense are being entertained. Please note that these defenses may carry their own inherent forms of danger, to the wielder as well as the wieldee. A source close to the Big Chair in the What Hows said: "They're pu tting a whole new meaning on 'germ warfare', and we're re i n v e s t igating our own stance on the issue." ...The Prez was qu ot ed as saying: .....Later he wa s ridiculous! If we we'd have to have and T 'm no t gonna

(♦Editor's Note: Sour.*) Here D.Q. activated a Hidden Sound System, flicked a few dials on what looked like a Brass De coder Bra, and a tinny rendition of Dolly P.'s popular 'My Tennessee Mountain Home" we av ed into the air. D.Q. did one of those Pe rformances — Just For Us. "Now, WHERE'S your omnipresent RFD PHOTOGRAPHER? I don't see HI M and this is a pe rf or ma nc e Well Worth C a t c h i n g ! !!"

"No Comment.

Which re minded us of wh y we were there.

overheard to say: "Don't be issued BAND AIDS TO BAN A I D S , SOMEONE working the counter, do it."

Queen Wards Off Pack of

BAND AIDS TO BAN AIDS At least one practical ap pl ication of anti-anti-gay terrorism was ob served by Someone on a Friday night, near P and 21, NW, here in YO UR nation's capital. A drag queen was being he ckled by a ba nd of punks. (Editor's note: Drag Queen shall he reafter be r e ferred to as 'D.Q.'.) "Oh YESSSS!'." eage rl y supplied D.Q. wh en queeried. "I got the idea from an Ol d Movie, but on ly the hat-pin. The Blood was M y idea. Make sure you write THAT down. Give Credit where Credit is Due.

D.Q. was hi gh -h ee li ng it down la avenue, T h i n k ing Nought But Good, wh en a roving pack of punks a p pr oached from some confusing direction wi thin the Ne w Right. C e d i tor's note: Ho w can you be so far Left and STILL be in the New Right?*)

Here he flourished a 3' long hat-pin from that Hair-Do, and showed ho w he had pr ic ke d hi mself just for them. "You don't think I'd be getting Pricked by ACCIDENT, do you? Getting Pricked is a very conscious thing — you have to Want It."

Names we re called and ep ithets were hurled. Our Sissy Blood Boiled. However, D.Q. was undaunted, and ran a masculine hand through the Outer Layer o f his hairdo, and smiled, a secret unrevealed.

W h e n informed of the What Hows latest st at e me nt regarding the issuance of Band Aids to Ban Aids, D.Q. was qu oted as saying: "No Comment."

We saw a slight glint of metal, then, whipping of f that to-the-shoulder al uminum foiled glove, D.Q. raised that imperious arm of justice, displaying Lee Press-On Nails (*for the active things you do*) all pa inted a flawless pink and purple combination. D.Q. wi ggled that little finger an d made a Gr ow li ng Sound. (♦Editor's note: 'Little Finger' shall he reafter be known as 'Bloody Pinkie'.*)

A n d bell yd an ce d on down la boulevardia, en route to yet an other Dazzling Performance. Yo ur Roving RFD Reporter here in YO UR Nation's Capital

Dear Mr. Mason: I have read RFD several times and am aghast at the license you and others employ. Freedom of speech can hardly extend to the likes of you. A line MUST be drawn somewhere, and I'm ready to draw it! Mr. Mason, this can not Go On! It's people like you who impede real progress. You and your kind, you'd be happy at having the Red Army over for croissants and impiety-- you'd pr obably LIKE for us to dismantle our nuclear bombs and let Russia just have a GO at us! But as a serious American, I feel I have to d e fend what is dear to me. Mom, Apple Pie, Toxic Wastes and God. It's extremists like you who persuade me I am right to b e .

TELL MR. MASON

Constantly praying for the swift eradication of the likes of you, I am religious (and patriotic!) in Paris, T e x a s ...... ..........

Dear Constantly Praying For the Swift Eradication of the Likes of you, etc, etc..... By n o w Mr. Mason has become accustomed to let ters such as yours. One thing, however, that I (and ALL real Americans) find UTTERLY UNPARDONABLE is yo ur abuse of the English Language. You said (and I quote) "..Extremists like you", when — (if you ARE such a patriotic American!) the actual - needless to say, Correct?- wording should read "Extremists SUCH AS yourself." It is THIS and this alone which tells the telling tale to Mr. Mason

TELL MR. MASON YOUR DEEPEST FEARS, WORRIES, PENETRATIONS. CONFESS TO HIM YOUR ANXIOUS HOPES, YO UR DEEPEST HURTS, YOUR CH EAPEST E S C A P A D E S .....A N D JU ST WAIT FO R HIS COMPASSIONATE, PERSONAL REPLY. (AND WAIT.

AN D WAIT.

AND W A I T ! !)* I

Dear Mr. Mason:

Dear Mr. Mason: I am proud to say I have followed your ca reer from its very beginnings here in the pages of R F D . In that time, over and over I have thrilled when finding your work - always refreshing, always of ou ts ta nd in g literary QUALITY, and as well, those little notes, almost asides, about you are here, o r you are there, and what you may be doing. Mr. Mason, I feel that we are destined to be together. What I want to kn ow is: are you even aware that you HAVE followers? In fact, I am p r e sident of 9 fan clubs in 9 American cities. (Your fan clubs, Mr. Mason.) What we need are glossy photos of you in revealing poses, exhorting the faithful. But even more than this: I want to meet you, Mr. Mason — I want to LOVE you. signed, Your Eternal Devotee Dear Eternal Devotee: I was utterly taken by surprise upon receipt of your transmission. My responses are manifold, and as follows: 1/ Wh at do you want? 2/ Who sent you? 3/ What are you getting out of it? 4/ What's in it for me? 5/ The prob le m with having a 'following' is I like to defecate w/o having a line forming 'just outside', (or, Thank Goddess, they don't follow yo u EVERYWHERE!) 6/ I deserve royalties from the fan clubs. 7/ Faithful? Glossy? 8/ Revealing? 9/ Remind me ALWAYS to hang wr eaths of flowering garlic and to close the shades. Of course, your pretense at adulation has HARDLY fooled MR. MASON

I am interested in a country lifestyle for m y self, my lover, our dogs, cats, gerbils, carp(s?), armadillos, aardvarks, yamahas, yahoos and hep cats. I k n o w urine volved (get it hah hah) in a country lifestyle yourself, there at Running Water Farm. Tell me, Mr. Mason, and tell me truly: IS_ a country lifestyle all it's cracked up to be? Are there any animals at RunWa Farm? (Besides sex-crazed fairies hah h a h .) Of te n I have thought h o w I would like a country lifestyle for myself. Goats and chickens (bach bach, get it hah hah) and ot he r animals. Real Wild Life. But I don't really want to give up m y city life style. Mr. Mason, do you think I should? List reasons in de sc en di ng priority. signed, Happy in Honk-Honk Dear H. in H - H . : 1/ No. Get it hah hah? Thank you. M r . Mason Dear Mr. Mason: Mr. Mason, sometimes I am convinced I am the reincarnation o f Jesus Christ. Ot he r times I do NOT feel like this. What should I DO? signed, Melvin Smith (aka J.C.) Dear Melvin: My advice wo ul d be two-fold: 1: Make up yo ur mind. 2 Avoid crosses . Love, M r . Mason

Dear Mr. Mason:

TELL MR. MASON*

photo by Mark Eddy

Until recently, mv lover and T had a very good physical relationship, as well as a healthy spiritual exchanqe. But now he seems cold and remote, and wh en I ask, says it's because I'm SO politically correct. And it's true: I AM politically correct. I can't help it. It all began as a child, and as time passed, I was d e f e n d ing every cause there is/was. And you kn ow as well as I do, Mr. Mason, when you defend causes, you MU ST Attend Meetings! Mr. Mason, when I crawl into our bed at night, he makes an issue of going as far to the left as he can. When I say 'hemisphere' he is quick to point out this is ON E WORLD. When I touch him, he turns away and gives me profile. He says as long as I'm politically correct we won't physically connect. Because I'm always poin ti ng out h o w language contains inherent di sc riminations multiplied by our naive usage, his response is to tell me to shut up and end the argument altogether. Mr. Mason, what can I do? These conflicts of the heart are tearing at me. He never even calls vegetables 'green' or 'fresh' anymore. When I call a 'digging i m p l e m e n t ’ he calls a 'spade'. Mr. Mason, you're my last hope.

( 'F you

Dare)

Mr. Mason says:

signed,

"I'D JU ST AS SOON NOT BE SENT: your old shoes, old loveletters writ te n to someone else, old lovers smitten on someone else, old sheet music (unless you accompany THAT with an old Baldwin grand piano.)

Lost Cause in Helsinki

Dear L.C. in H . : BUT, thousands of pe ople have been Pressing me to re sume my career as a Dear-Abby-Type Columnist. Or maybe they get me Cheep. Butt Hook Airs?

From what Mr. Mason could make of your inco he r ency, how RIGHT you are to be c o n c e r n e d ! ! WHY have you wa ited so lonq to seek Professional Help? Why have you made Mr. Mason your LAST hope? C e r t a i n ly such st upidity on YOUR part will NOT be repeated. Secondly: tend to your diet. ('You are what you eat.') Ob viously your bl eached personality is in need of, shall we say, Color. Henceforth, make SURE your diet includes more: Black Beans, white Corn, Purple Cabbage, Summer Squash, Yellow Onions, Collard Greens and Blue-Collar Workers. And — let yourself f e e l : become 'green with envy'; 'see red'; experience a (non-violent, no n - j u d g e m e n t a l , non-racist) black rage. In short, EXPERIENCE! A N D AS FOR YOUR LOVER — he may be reacting to more than you are aware of; HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR WA SHRAG TODAY? Even though you didn't specify your nationality, I'd bet green money yo u're W H I T E . Cliticallv Erect,

YOUR BURNING OUESTIONS are usually more ashes by the time thev get here, and al though RFD does employ a Staff Psychic, all we EV ER get out of h i m is so me thing vague about: "You are meant to wear beanies." This, and an occasional insistence that he is NOT Nina Hagen (which we al ready knew) is what we get for 19 bowls of pinto beans and good cornbread month after m o n t h ...... You figure i t ..... SO--If you would invoke Mr. Mason's Deepest Sympathies, please include WI TH your letter (and Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope) CASH D O N A T I O N S ,.RISING STOCKS, HOCKABLE JEWELRY, or DEEDS to LAND in the Country: (*10 acres or more only, please.) And PLEASE: NO ONE DOLLAR BILLS - enclose a $5 (with Abraham Lincoln on the front, stupid), or more. Al exander Hamilton is certainly welcomed, and Benjamin Franklin will also always find a wonderful brief vacation here.

I am, Mr. Mason

For - just remember - Mr. Mason's time is MONEY! Mr. Ma so n must eat TOO! PRIVATE R E S P O N S E : f*th-is is where vour LARGE CA SH DONATION reallv INSURES Mr. Mason's crisp, compassionate c o ns id er at io n.*)

With a se mi-unconditional love for you, I go on being

Dear Still Hoping To Bag Dad In Biloxi: 1/ About the polaroids: D o n ’t Bother. 2/ About baqginq Dad - Good Luck! 3/ Shame ON you - - not IN you.

't* s

You sound like a real nut-bar to Mr. Mason

££

( 6*x K £ A 5v•U > f j c 2 ? 7 C$ « ADVICE

FOR

A PRICE*

he men were weav ing, weaving a cloak of h1s flesh, a harlequin's cape, parchment, mocha, rose, light purple, a coat of all the colors of his flesh. And each in turn would dance a spiral dance, first clockwise, miming the movement of the sun, then counterclockwise, miming the journey of their god, until the flesh became his own, until he fell into a trance, and the cape was passed to the man on his 1eft. They were gathering straw and feathers, they were sewing, sewing a doll of his flesh, like the teddy bear, the Hummel doll, he'd clutched in his arms as a child. He felt his fingers fattening, he felt his hol low belly taking shape. His head seemed full of cotton, and all the straw rushed to where his brains had been when they nailed his feet to the crotch of the pine. The slits once eyes now saw as the Egyp tian dead, who wander up side-down in the under world, who speak with their anuses, turds dropping from their mouths, the wind tossing him to-and-fro, the nail pulling at his flesh, as he wondered if and when and what might happen should he tumble from the tree. He watched as the men passed incense over his body, as they sprinkled water over his shrivelled groin, as they bent down to kiss the earth, and begged their god to feed them well, now that they had nourished him. Then they left him there, to watch over the fields, alone. The voices faded as the first stars broke through the canopy of night.

M i, Jn [J

up residence in the straw. Yet somehow he was certain it had remained behind. Oh, not all of it, to be sure, for he knew only too well that when they had severed and chopped and cooked and eaten the vari ous parts of his body, par ticularly the heart, the liver, the tongue, and the entrails, that 1ittle chunks of soul had drifted past the U p s of the men, some of the pieces floating upwards to the brain, oth ers floating downwards to the heart, the intestines, the genitals, all soon to pass through the anus, gift of his flesh, gift of the men, to the earth, those parts of his soul that would linger on, that would remain behind to wait for his return, that would weave themselves back into a new form, take up resi dence in a new belly, until it was time to be born again. The crow pecked at his head where his right ear had been. "Wake up!" it squawked. "Wake up!" He was determined to pay no attention. After al1, he'd never allowed them to bother him when he was alive, why should he give them credence, be intimi dated by them now? "Wake up!" it squawked again. "I'm Death, come to take you away! Wake up, I say!" How disappointing, he thought. A crow. I'd hoped for a H t t l e better than this, after all the years of waiting. A crow pecking at straw. "Goddamnit, boy, quit think ing, will ya! I should've thought you would've given up by now. Stop it right now! Open up your eyes, boy! Look closer and really SEE for once in your goddamn life!" The crow's voice now slowed, softened, deepened. "I'm only a crow for the live ones, so they won't see me before it's time. Surely you can understand." He might as well stop think ing, he considered, or at least stop analyzing

He wondered how his soul had managed to stay with him when all that remained j: was dried flesh stuffed with feathers and straw, as if the soul had sunk in to his pillow as he dreamt, as if the soul had taken 47

everything as he always had, after all, who would listen to the ravings of a dead man, the tirades of a doll? It felt, quite simply, like pulling the plug from the wall. "Retter?" the angel asked.

whose body betrayed him, the boy whose body had swung from the tree, who'd seen them riddle his heart with holes, the stave driven u d him, the iron mask shut, the sizzling of the wires, the echo of the gun, his mother calling him a good-for-nothing, his mother amazed at his ugliness as she stood beside him peer ing into the mirror, his mother pleading for him not to be born, begging his father not to strangle him, seeing how he'd poisoned the men he had loved, drag ging them down, down into his nightmares, drowning them in the blood of possession, strangling them with the lover's jealous rope, a prison guard watching every move, exploding at the slightest deviation from the path he had set out for them, the ways in which he spat upon their innocence and gave them the gift of vengeance, only to watch it used against him later, the vigilance, the stern commands, his dogma locking him into boredom, waiting for the clownshow, waiting for the boys to entertain him, waiting for the man who could claim him, whose traps were devised with more cunning than his own, waiting for the moment when the man would betray him, would sleep with an other, would list his crimes on a sheet of paper, would mention his flaws to another, would abandon him as his father had done, would leave him to play his childish games alone, the fool who waits for the bogeyman and weeps when he is raped, when his eyes are clouded over and his blood seeps into the sheets. The dreamer alone with his dream, and the night who weaves a quilt of his dreams, with the cunning of a fox, the bared teeth of the wolf, the panic which awakens us from our darkest dreams, as if only sound were present, as if it were only the music of fear that mattered, as if anyone would listen to the scarecrow's scream. We have moistened our tongues with honey, we have moistened our lips with blood. We have tasted the milk of men and our mothers, we have swallowed the wisdom of the stars. The serpent coiled its tail round our sleeping phalluses, the ser pent winds its way through the tunnels of the night. We are heard breathing, our flesh is tasted, our entrails are prepared over a crackling fire, our fears of rape and betrayal come to haunt us, and yet we are dead, without words and robbed of names. The disappearing act becomes a bearded lady, and the men are weaving nightmares of our flesh. The dream may disappoint us, and this our greatest terror: that the underworld may suffer in translation, that Hell's not all it's cut out to be. The dream of one wasted is the dream of one dead, and the dreamer has nothing to fear but his own lack of patience, his own pro pensity for boredom. And now he knew that Death had tricked him, had robbed him and raped him and left to fetch another.

"Yes, quite," he replied. "Are you ready then?" he inquired. "Do I have any choice?" "Not really, I'm afraid.

It's just polite to ask."

"Now," the angel's voice became that of his therapist, or maybe that of his ninth-grade mechanical drawing teacher, "it might be a little painful, but I want you to disentangle yourself from the straw and re lease yourself into my arms." That shouldn't be too difficult, what was left of him though, or rather, felt, considering the unearthly beauty of the man, or angel, as the case might be. He felt the sack which had held him growing heavier and heavier, he felt his spirit growing lighter and lighter, he felt his spirit leaving his head and floating down the intes tinal corridors, out the slit where the anus had been. "Good work!" said the stranger. "Perfectly painless, and amazingly simple, if T say so myself. If one didn't know better, one would think you're an old pro. Now," he paused, "I want you to imagine yourself as having wings. No, not dragonfly wings! I'm afraid dragonfly wings wouldn't get you very far. Sturdy wings, like mine. You'll need them where we're going." He was soaring, soaring on ebony wings, his palm in the hand of the stranger, no need of a rocket or a broomstick, into the night sky, into the basket of stars, into the womb of the goddess of night, her body spanqled with stars, her amulet the moon, her eyes and teeth reflecting the light of countless cen turies, her breath the breath of the fire-bringer, the opener of the lids, her furnace the wisdom of the world, her palace the palace of ice, her lips the lips of Judas, her brow the brow of Cain, her wings the wings of Lucifer, her heart the heart of the Queen of Snow, her drink the cool and quenching drink of death, the stranger’s ease, the knowing calm of the pilot on a flight made daily, curator, tour guide through a vast museum, lamplit, the mustiness swept from the testaments, the cobwebs swept from the sky, each star a hallowed light, a sacred fire, a life at one with the waters of the womb, with she who bears us, with she who bids us leave her dwelling, our pain of separation equalling her own, with she who weaves our lives and dreams together, ascending, plummeting, the cliffs and rivers swinging past, the towers of ice above us, the burning towers below, with she who would weave a quilt of our souls, soaring, soaring, soaring on ebony wings. The stars were breadcrumbs dropped along the way, so that the soul might find its way back to the place where its heart formed anew.

"That's a great way to find yourself a ghost, you know, haunting some abandoned housing project or some tedious millionaire's mansion." The angel was beqinning to squawk again, his wings were growing heavier and his vision was beginning to blur. His cheeks, incessantly whipped by sharp currents of air, were beginning to burn. "Be patient, child," whis pered his Black nanna Lola, "we ain't got far to go now. We'ze almos there." The angel smiled, saying, "Now how'd ya like that," and cradled the bird in his arms.

And here the dream ran into the dream, crashed into the room of his conviction, the judges peering down at him like crows, asking him where his soul had been the morning after he fucked the boy who told his parents who burned his house down, the dreamer who dreamed of the face he had seen, the boy looking up, his eyes stained with tears, the white sheets stained with the blood of his bowels, the boy he'd betrayed, the boy who'd betrayed him, the boy whose heart had turned to ice when he pointed to the man who had loved him, who had broken him, who had filled him with the wisdom of the serpent, whose cock was frozen,

Together they entered the mouth of the cave, the tail of the serpent, the rabbithole, as Alice had done before them, as the cyclone had swept Dorothy off her feet and had sent her spinning to the land of O z , as the blood travels up the arteries and rushes down the veins, as food is flushed down to the intestines, where it is churned, melted, and fashioned anew, 48

turds dropping to earth and bringing forth life. He found himself naked, without wings, without his com panion, adrift in the middle of an ebony pool, a well ■'nhabited by stars. The crows, the men, were bathing him. 4 thousand arms were touching him, caressing him, massaging him, healing him. The stars spiralled out into cobras and danced around him, radiant, lifegiving, the dancers who danced the dead into exist ence, as the dancers of the living had trampled him before. The king of serpents, lord of the dance, this was his way of courting the dead, of preparing the dead for the journey to follow, these were the men who bathed him, who wrapped him in a harlequin's cloak and rubbed the beads from his tousled hair, the diamonds from his taut nipples, sweet raisins in the waxing moon, as they anointed his body with jasmine and rose, dressed him in veils, placed on his head a wreath of narcissi, bent down to kiss his slender feet and named him bride of the kind of dreams. But now the men were slashing his wrists, slashing his veils, shredding his robes and tearing the flowers from his hair, tossing him about, pulling him down, each taking his turn, each forcing his way, each more violently than the one before, spinning him, spinning him as if he were a top, spinning him about until he spiralled through the ground, found himself struggling in a muddy river, a river composed of shit and blood, vomit and diarrhea housed here for millenia, wading, drowning, his eyes bandaged, his hands behind him with entrails for chains, drowning, his lips jerking on tasting the excrement, drowning, his mouth forced open, drowning, his nostrils flooded with the stench, gasping, gagging, his eyes sizzling, hair matted, breathless, drowning in the laughter of Hecate, the dirty jokes of Beelzebub. His soul a turd, a piece of graffiti scrawled above a toilet bowl, I have

swallowed turds whole, he cried, I have spit out my soul, I have drunk the blood of a man I have loved, and now, he cried, will you moisten my lips with honey, will you give me milk to drink? Will you make my soul a lion? Will you bathe me in the blood of the bul1? The drums grew louder, the cymbals crashed, flutes wailed and the knives were passed between them, each in turn gashing his arms, each in turn flailing his arms as blood splattered on the altar, all of them spiralling faster and faster, first clockwise, now counterclockwise, shrieking, moaning, wailing, blood swirling in the glitter of knives, as each in turn held his phallus, his testicles high into the air, shouting the names of Cybele and Attis, running and bleeding through the streets of the city, offering his testicles to the lady of the house, who would give him her finest gown in return, which he would wear always, til the day of his death, drenched in blood, bathed in the blood of the bull as he knelt in the cage, its blood seeping into him, into the earth, into the heart of Mithras, bringing forth power in all living things. He was ready now, ready to meet the lord of dreams, the god of the dead and those who dance, his father, his brother, his bridegroom, his kind. They would dine that evening in the great hall of the dead, and afterwards, in the bedroom of the king, he would taste the liquor of life and the living, would fall into dreams, would push forth from the womb.

Heterosexual Questionaire 1.

What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

When and how did you first decide you were heterosexual?

Ts n possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out o f?

Ts it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

you've never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

Why do you heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into your lifestyle?

Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexual ity? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

Would you want your children to be heterosexual , knowing the problems they'd face?

19.

A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. no you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

by Martin Rochlin

1.1.

with all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce is spiralling? what are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

\2.

Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

13.

Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you?

14.

Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear s/he might be in clined to influence you in the direction of his/her own leanings?

15.

How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexual ity, and fail to develop your natural, healthy homosexual potential?

16.

There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed which might en able you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

D o u g l a s D e a d of AID S by Michael Swiff I wanted to light a candle 1n St. Patrick's Tor you that Saturday morning before Christmas, Rut I was with the pagan. I felt like crying there at the State Theatre As the snow flakes gently fell upon the dancers Of the Nutcracker, but I was with those Mho would not have understood. It 1s only in this poem, hidden from the hard And cynical, that I allow myself to weep. It 1s only when the others sleep that I acknowledge Your presence 1n the room and dare to speak To you once Inore.

P .W .A . by Winthrop Smith

When Cary phoned and said You became blind at the end I wanted to scream like Oedipus. There was your name in the Times obituary list nn the day o* my parents' wedding anniversary. It made me think of Cod’s architecture for us. rt made me ponder the confusions Me surrounds Himself with, the fates He deals. I mused upon a Deity and h1s paradox Of giving and then taking away, Of taking away and then giving. God talk. Maybe it's not the Holy Spirit speaking. Maybe it's just my schizophrenia which You giggled about in a kind way, and thus Made it less frightening. Was there a mystical reason for your death? Can I learn something from the book of your life And its final dark chapters? Did you perish because I failed you in some way? You tell me, Douglas, you who are beyond telling. °nce more tell me something amorous, sweet, comedic. Te11 me, tell me more, you who told such wondrous things: That there was freedom in "'ew York, That there could he beauty and sensitivity in men, That kissing men wasn't something silly or profane. Somehow, spirit of Douglas, make all this bearable So that I can be moved enough and freed enough To touch another deeply as you touched me.

Scott Michael — In M em o ry by David Sunseri Tonight I cry for you but more for us all you left behind dear friend dear love you 1 ived on a tense wire the barest line dividing hurt and ecstasy always teetering We never thought you'd fall.

Simple things denied: The garden's gate Can't filter neighbour's flow Of cats and chatter; Simple things decried: The hustlers' streets ror one-night conquests spoiled With baby's clatter; Simple things allied: rmbraced by sleep Caressing lesions, moans Which soon won't matter; Simple things abide: A silent scream In isolation calms An old mad hatter.

Th ree Rectangles by Edward Mycue The neighbors hadn't changed; hadn't even gotten older. It was sobering to sober up from all that sentiment I imbibed from popular nostalgia. In Russia, I hear they sing bitter ballads. Here we mouthe lies, think in prose haikus; epics be damned. We lay there and ring. But my work is sensuous indeed. In deed, I create a union of tears, pre-cum, and vomit: so. Delicate effects are late poems. I'm not dealing here with poems. Here only is partial destruction. Discovery owes total destruction. I owe you, you owe me, we owe. We don't owe the death machine skeewhiffy.

B e f o r e N i g h t ’s W a r m

Fire

F irst Sno w

by Dael Prichard from Timber Wolf Eyes

by Ian Young

Before night's warm fire, % o n g dogs stretched out sleeping, I sit with you for hours, silently... Silent in human tongues alone.

Where the owl's voice calls or a few half-wild geese the lake keeps sound over water

What happens when we are with the sleeping universes, In the midst of the wilderness night, Is what every creature must long for: Sleeping, all trust us, though we are awake.

a night full of snow the first snow fills the air It's not enough to hear your voice now in this swirling whiteness I can't see the night I'm in It calls again clear now to who? to who? as I turn home Snow blows from drifts the first snow filling your name

by Michael Cadnum

Seven Moons

I dream I have a secret name, as private as a gland, and wake forgetting where I am. Manhole covers gleam like limbs lopped off and healed. The freeway

by Mike Dittmer i.

The moon is my brother He knows what I want And gets it for meI

ii.

Cheese! Can you believe it?

iii

I am a pool of water And I hold the moon close to my heart

IV.

Poor little pumpkin moon

is a fuzz of lights beyond town and the water runs hot, warm, and at last cold as it streams from the lake in the iron bones in the earth and outside the dog's eyes gleam, a skull-fire.

I sleep with the moon He holds my head when night is cold On dark nights That's where he is

VI.

Six ducks fly across the moon My heart stops

VII.

The moon Holds a string °lays puppet with my d^eam

*►

W alking Down

R e m e m b ra n c e & A Revelation

West V i r g i n i a A ven u e by Jeff Mann Tonight I move through youth and July, towards a man with a red-gold moustache. I sweat and clutch a door key in my left palm, in my pocket, trusting God too little to loosen my grip. Road warnings by the South High cemetery shudder and bl ink 1 ike firefl ies , the neighborhood apples redden. Tonight I am walking down West Virginia Avenue with the moon breathing down my back. The road says Dead End but I am learning better.

Poem for M ike a young bla ck hustler by Cary Alan Johnson

by Assotto Saint i want to celebrate those vicious officious cocks/ that kind with a hook or a mushroom head/ cast spells/ make me lose all consciousness when i was most alive/ forcing me to acknowledge there could be grace under pressure/ holiness in being truly low/ i want to celebrate warm cushionny groins/ balls that were a mouthful/ tough titties with clip marks & more high points that plato1 s symposium/ full lips, tongues that burned/ hairy fists armed with a magic twist which knew no limits/ let' s not forget this well-greased ass here which took pleasure in all its added dimensions/ hey no misunderstanding please, it a in' t shock i' m after but revelation of secrets i used to rather keep to myself or for those select few... ear lobes, belly buttons, little toes i worshipped/ fantasies full of hidden treasures/ full with desire/ all those last calls on Christopher street/ a stranger' s smile posed no danger then my instinct was my best friend/ hey no misunderstanding please, it ain' t shock i' m after but remembrance of a past i ransack now my conscience & my hands are my best friends/

"I dig the street life because there's no place T can go, Street life, it's the only life r know." â&#x20AC;&#x201D; The Crusaders

Rationalize Me

Walking is often the easiest way to get somewhere especially when the shortest distance between two points is a circle like the space between today and tomorrow empty as a winter night's long,

by Joe Collins White picket fences in my head A division you can't stand You say, "Sweet hypocrisy" I laugh and agree

I spied him caught him on one of his real nights when the chase was off. Mike was just partying a still young old man he'd seen Better Days on his nights out.

Loving all the wrong moments I cry for the idyllic You say, "Blue-haired, blonde-eyed boy" I nod and smile. Yet in sex your philosophy lies lopsided, heart beat backward:'

Mike and I talked for a minute and I would've bought him a drink maybe brought him home but I remembered seeing him on the Deuce and he remembered me seeing him on the Deuce. Both of us allowed ourselves to be caught in the opposite flow of traffic forever coursing through that bar coursing with the river of faces, numbers, bodies with the night, with the ocean of indifference and differences that mandated that we would never do anything except say What's up? and pass.

Let me try to set it How you say, straight? Rings and queen-sized beds amuse us You say, "Lovers of Today" I say Rationalize me, baby You do it so wel1.

At T h e T u r n o fTh e Y e a r

Brown Boy

by Ivor C. Treby kiss o kiss me Adonis the candle-flames flow the wind1s in the east tonight the sky indi go there are moths at the window Adoni s the omens are all good on the rocks he! ow the sea's in flood look to the west my Adonis the moon's a broken cup that even the whole world's ache will never fill up 1 is ten 0 1 isten Adonis the firmament turns the year breaks 1et those who must make the old mistakes tomorrow is ours sweet Adonis there's renewi ng tonight the tide runs fresh the lodestar burns bright

by Michael Hathaway

Crisis: C o v e n a n t by Daniel Garrett And you ask, where do I stand? Other winters weathered left me lean, trembling, my love mangled effort, hurt heat behind my eyes, wise as Socrates: ignorant and knowing it, having been loved and loving, hated and hating, having lain naked with truth, having detonated so many lies to protect my soul's cities, risen thick smoke hiinding me, scattered rubble burying all truth, learning again and again: defensible or defenseless the war is lost: life wins. Still you ask, Where do I stand? Have I begun to call death? What of God? Useless are mv prayers, desperation never being taken for faith or love by God or men. Though miracles fall at your feet, like necessary tribute, I can only believe in you, your faith, your laying on of hands, my body to rise, come with my soul to cry sanctified! walking with 1ight. Is there a new covenant we can make?

on a friday night just before school was out for summer we sneaked out of our houses to prowl around we walked ft found ourselves on the edge of town i had so much to say i couldn't talk the brown boy couldn't look at me we walked in that loaded silence until he let out a chilling warhoop ft began running ft clawing at his clothes he pulled off his t-shirt ft jeans ft flunq them into the embracing darkness i watched the brown boy dancing running naked in the moonlight he never let me catch him

Phone S e x by Craig G. Harris sixth sense... intuition... I can tell the point of coversation throuqh pauses when your fingers find themselves unconsciously exploring the expanse beyond your waistband phone cradled on shoulder you whisper into the mouthpiece trace the outline of bulging veins sigh a little at the appearance of pre-jac juice on fingertip taste your own sweetness drift toward euphoria )on will excuse yourself reach for the tube lubricant. ...... Copyright 1986

he was a tall young criminal with pale hazel eyes & a crooked killing smile he 1 iked me bcz i was smart ft quiet ft always did the right thing i liked him bcz he had long legs bcz he had a crazy-wild-ass spirit bcz being near him made me feel warm ft weak i knew he would go away ft always hoped if i could taste him just once his flavor might stay with me forever

isconnected Love by John Landry

The phone rings at 1 A.M. and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know who it is. I am a pine needle shaken from a dried out Christmas Tree. I am full of salmon pie and don't know why you just won't talk to me and show up at my door. All the other fighters don't care about the acoustics. Take off yr baseball hat and hang it on the barbed-wire playpen. I coax yr voice from yr throat and it's 1:30 and raining. vou insist on staying in bed safe in yr shorts and crawling all over yrself vicariously. I sit up and continue trying to persuade that bottle to cross the room without touching it. Copyright 1984

A Boy Needs A Man

by Mark McNease

The leaves are gold this time of year, gold and red and turning in upon themselves. With a slight wind they shimmer, little scales of armor in the sun. It's a wondrous passing, like a day's end met with the hues of a rare sunset. It wasn't in my plans to be back here, ever. Indiana is where I grudgingly say I grew up, as if it were an orphanage rife with troubles. I prefer to say I was born in Mississippi. That's where I'm "from." That's where I want my ashes spread, somewhere between the red hills and the river. But it's Indiana I've re turned to. The old man lost his balance Tuesday night. They don't know why. He doesn't smoke. He drinks a bit, but not like that. His heart's good for another fif teen years. So why? It's the possibilities that pulled me away from my one great love, los Angeles, leaving it was leaving the only place I've ever called home, to fly in the belly of a OCIQ back to a past where the faces are older, and the air even thicker than before. All because the old man lost his balance Tuesday night.

And me? I needed everything. What I got I can't really say, but somewhere there is a vacuum. Some where the hands remain outstretched, palms up and flat as leaves reaching for sunlight. That old man was the sun, filtering into my life on the fringe of a busy schedule. I s U in the back yard staring at a lawn I hated for so long. It was his to look at and mine to tend. This time o f year T would be raking leaves, expected to collect them all. In summer my feet would turn green ^rom the cut grass, and T'd stand inspecting a perfect job. Me always found a place T'd missed. Always The dogs -'ait bv the fence, agitated. They miss him, sensing trouble. Funny how dogs know too much. They can feel the earth shake days in advance. They howl at a storm when the sky is still a clear blue pool, smelling it as sure as oranges. Now they stand motionless, their ears pricked up as if hearing the whisper that's only begun in my thoughts. I spent an hour at the hospital last night. It hasn't changed since I was there for my tonsils. Hospitals never do. They get bigger, that's all; bigger and whiter and colder. The nurses still smile profes sionally: Fverything will be all right, Mr. Jones; you really should be in bed, Mr. Jones; I hope your affairs are in order, Mr. Jones, because we at the nurses' station know the details.

Waiting in Chicago's O'Hara Airport it occurred to me that I still felt safe. Chicago and L.A. are both centers of a vortex, hives alive with millions of hard working people who don’t pay me any mind. In that special privacy I knew it was the small town that disheartened me. Eighteen years I lived in a city the size of a large wheatfield. Downtown was in the corner over there, from where spread veins of streets that never clotted, never buzzed with urgency. Any news was big news, and if your plans were not of the local brand you might as well sell tickets to your life as a side show oddity.

His room was easy enough to find. It was simply a matter o* following the green tape. I suppose it's fest, this tape. So many people are lost when they get there; making one thing easy is an act of kind ness. Walking along it I wondered what lies at the end of the M u e and the red. Heart failure? Chil dren who don't know how sad they are7 They snaked off in their own directions, trailed faithfully by visi tors with stress in their faces. I saw them veer off at one point, then another, trying not to turn my head, to stay focused all the way to the elevator. It slid open with a hush, the sterile box of it taking me up, up to the sound of humming.

I remember there was a murder in '72. It was horren dous. What was the world coming to? They never caught the killer because he couldn't possibly have lived there. He had to be from somewhere far away-New York, maybe, or Mars. Any news was big news. Like the kid in junior high. They said he qot caught doing unspeakable things in the boys' room. I thought, how awful. To be like that, I mean. To endure the stares and the fear that burns like acid. How could I have been prepared? It was only a need in me then.

He was in a private room. There were already flowers everywhere. I should have remembered he's a popular man; thirty-five years in retail calls for friends, or maybe friends, or a few dozen people who want to be thought of as friends. A large bouquet rested by the television. The card indicated it was from his employees. He commanded loyalty. You have to when you pay little more than minimum wage. It struck me that all of his workers were men: Love, John; Best wishes, Eric; Please get well, WE NEED YOU.

We never talked about our needs in my family. Mother, she needed to play the piano at midnight because there were no words. My sister Kate needed to be in love, dashing with her boyfriend in a whirl of fool ish kisses.

I looked at the crumpled bedsheets, then at the bath room door. He was in there, feeling his age, fright ened maybe, though I had yet to picture him afraid of anything. Removing a potted plant from the chair by the bed I sat down to wait. When was the last time I sat down to wait for him? When I was fourteen? I think that's right. I was fourteen and feeling every inch a had boy. T'd done something wrong, lied or stolen or skipped school again. And I waited. All those years I waited for him to climb the stairs, to

Sister Carrie, she needed to stop eating. It was her way, years before the media caught on. Before Karen Carpenter. Before People Magazine. Before anyone knew that something had gone terribly wrong. My father, I don't know what he needed. My mother, I'm sure of that. His big hands and his silence. The work he did seemingly forever. 54

close the door behind him and mete out his harshness without so much as a word.

that I'd be so much more than that old man. I spent the next fifty years doing it, too. I was scared to death of being hungry, can you understand? Even when we got the house, and the Lincoln, and the bank book you could choke on--even then I was scared of being hungry. That's why I wasn't there."

He came out of the bathroom with something in his hands. It was metal with long thin legs, and it propped him up. Your own mortality comes to mind at the sight of your father with a walker. It's been said that when your parents go you know, you KNOW be yond a shadow of a doubt that you will die someday. Of course I go to the gym to keep the flesh as tight as I can. Of course I see thirty coming as if it's in a hurry, and I'm still alone, and I still can't tell you what I am now that I've grown up. He looked at me briefly before starting his trek across the room. I stood up to help him. He said, "No. I can do it my self." Dropping back into the chair I thought, Isn't that the truth.

"Because there wasn't time," I said absently, my mind elsewhere. I was remembering in the span of a moment a hundred times I'd looked out to see his face and he was gone, working into the night so he wouldn't be hungry again, my mother downstairs playing the piano with the fury of a woman in need. "Yes," he said. "Because there wasn't time, and now too much of it's passed to change a thing. All I can do is tell you I know."

Three minutes later he eased onto the edge of the bed. He swung his legs up and under the covers, and he leaned back against his pillows, closing his eyes. "I'm not used to it," he said.

He knew. For twenty-eight years he knew. I felt my throat go dry, and saw a trembling in my hand as I dug in my pocket for a cigarette. "A boy needs a man," I said, my voice no more than a whisper.

"Not used to what, Dad?" "Not used to being weak. I've never been weak in my life." He sighed heavily.

"What?" he asked, turning to look at me. "Nothing." I was certain he'd heard me very clearly. "I should be getting back to the house."

"You'll be all right soon," I said, staring at my hands.

"Would you get me some water before you leave?" I suddenly thought he would catch me in a lie. It had been a long time since he had. Instead he ignored my comment and said, "They think it's a tumor."

Nodding, room and was left he said,

"Mom says they don't know," I blurted too quickly. "She says the tests they took don't show . . . "

"She said she'd try. She's tied up with the store, but she'll try."

He stopped me with a wave of his hand. "I've talked about it enough. To the doctors, the technicians, to your mother." He opened his eyes and fixed them on me. "She's seen too much, that woman."

I couldn't bring myself to say, There isn't time. Don't you know you taught us well? Instead I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You rest," T said. "I'll be back in the morning with Mom."

Thinking about it I knew he was right. She'd seen her kids grow up to be everything but what she wanted. She'd seen her brother have the life sucked out of him by cancer, sucked out until he looked like a corpse weeks before his death, ^he'd seen her own mother struggle for three years in a nursing home, defying every stroke that hit her like the fist of God until she finally bowed her head and said, You win, you son of a bitch.

He patted my hand and rolled over to face the window. I left the room, closing the door behind me, trying to think of nothing but the green stripe set squarely in the middle of the floor. I sit looking out over a lawn that's harmless now, and the dogs wait, and the pool needs cleaning by someone other than me. I floated in it drinking whiskey when I was twelve, dreaming about the things I'd have some day: a name and a purpose and yes, a man. A boy needs a man, even when he is one.

I was shaken from my thoughts by the touch of his hand on my shoulder. "I’ve made mistakes," he said, follow ing the statement with a nervous cough. He pulled his ha nek away, knowing it was too intimate for us. I shifted uneasily in my seat. said.

I took the little green pitcher into the bath filled it with tap water, sloshing what ice to cool it. As I returned it to the bed table "Is Kate coming home?"

! think of my father and what he forgot. He forgot to teach me how to tie a full Windsor, how to shake hands firmly, how to talk man talk. He never told me secrets until yesterday, and when he walks out of that impotent room he never will again.

"Forget about it," I

"No," he replied. "Let me talk now, because I won't say it again." He took a deep breath. "I did the best I could. Do you believe that?"

A boy needs a man. I'm sure he heard me. I'm sure he needed one once who wasn't there. How we pass these

"Yes," I lied. "I didn't know any other way to raise you than the way I'd been raised, My father never talked to me. He didn't have time. There were eight of us, for godsake. He just didn't have the time. "I knew by the age of ten that I'd get out of there, /

fter hiding the facts from himself, his wife and rural hometown for decades, a middle-aged Wiscon sin man reached a cataclysmic moment of despair a few years ago and dialed a suicide hotline.

He had to race the truth or die.

The schizoid M ^ e

o r h e l m a gay man masquerading as heterosexual in a

sti11 don't get al1 the symbolism in the Wizard ,fhy is that so areat? T wish someone would tell me."

He's had a fairly amicable divorce from his wife of more than °d years and has confided in a *ew straight friends. But he doesn't dare come out completely in his hometown, which still leaves him with a double life--one persona in Madison, another in the country.

oicture-postcard little community go miles *rom Madisnn, Wisconsin, was destroying him. The handsome, oray-haired businessman had soent a lifetime denying his true *eeMnqs and had never, ever expressed his real sexuality, even with a kiss.

Nonetheless, George insists he wouldn't chanqe a thing.

"George” found a sympathetic listener on the hotline. Tnstead of killing h i m s e l h e came out of the closet, weathered some turbulent adjustments and is now mak ing peace with himself.

"I feel for the first time in my life, I know who I am. I feel like I've been performing for years and I wanted to go offstage."

I? A Lonl iness M arks Their Dual Lifestyle

Although George has found a measure of happiness, life in small-town America continues to be a struggle for him and other gays. Without question, the great est problem is loneliness.

by Linda Thompson

He's had help from a good counselor and a Madison support group for gay fathers, but George basically fashioned his new life by himself. The chilling isolation of rural gays like George is one reason Jay Hatheway recently started a statewide organization cabled "Among Friends." It is intended to connect rural gays through a newsletter and help them *orm socia1 networks to ease their loneliness-right in their own hometowns.

There seems to be no one in their communities to turn to--not simply for sex, but for companionship, accep tance, even medical advice. rorays into Madison have linked George with other gays and he’s made several ^riends. But the city, too, has its drawbacks *or rural homosexuals. The nay bar scene here o ften seems ruled by a hierarchy o r brittle sophisticates who make their countrv cous ins ^ee1 like hayseeds.

. ve had a lot of people say, 'You were an answer to my prayers,’" says Hatheway, a graduate student and reaching assistant at the University of WisconsinMadison.

’T don't know what's trendy, t don't know how to Hress,” Georoft confesses, a litt’e r u e ^ l y .

Hatheway previously ran a similar rural outreach pro ject T0r ,he United, a Madison gay and lesbian social 56

service agency. He left The "nited amid personality conflicts with a few people on its board of directors, and started Among Friends with his own funds. It is a for-profit effort, although Hatheway quickly notes he is losing money.

Despite troubles with the mainstream media, word is beginning to spread: Among Friends has a mailing list of , . And each day brings a few more cards and letters to the organization's mailing address (D . . Box 881, Madison, WI 53701).

Among Friends circulates its monthly newsletter at an annual cost of $10. Included are general interest articles, lists of professionals, such as doctors and lawyers, who are willing to work with gays in various communities, and a calendar of events, including sports.

Having grown up in Iran and Rome, the son of a petro'eum geologist, Hatheway knows what it's like to feel ostracized. He says he joined the Green Berets to pay off an ROTC scholarship and ended up being court martialed for homosexual activities only four days befor beino discharged. Another soldier turned himself in and implicated "atheway.

1 200

''"'though lesbians are we^ome, subscribers ten" to he older males who have emotionally accepted their sexual orientation, but are socially isolated. Hatheway hopes that more women will aet invoked.

"I was oay, but these were comp1etely trumped-up charges," Hatheway insists. He got the American Givi! Liberties "nion to represent him, got a less-thanhonorable discharge, and says he fought it until the U.G. Supreme rourt refused to hear the case.

To his surprise, the most controversial aspect of the newsletter is its "Dersonal-contacts" column, where gays can correspond and, if they choose, arrange meet ings. Hatheway says the original idea was to help people form support groups, which has already hap pened in several towns.

Later, while living in Galifornia, Hatheway claims he was fired from a public library job and almost didn't get his college diploma (even with a straight-A average) when the end of the military case hit the headli nes.

"It is not a sex-for-sale or dating service," he em phasizes .

Despite his extensive travels and worldliness, Hathe way says he can understand how loneliness could lead to emotional desperation for a gay man or lesbian in a place like Mauston, for instance.

Nonetheless, when Hatheway tried to place small clas sified ads in 207 Wisconsin newspapers, many refused to run the ads.

"Loneliness makes people neurotic, it makes them do crazy things. Gays are not unstable. It's the kind of society we're socialized to."

"I'm not sure how many have refused, I'm still check ing that. I know for sure that 15 have run them," he says.

Judging from the responses Hatheway gets, many rural gays long for company, but dread the idea of being found out. "Gome of the letters I get have no ad dress, just a post office box and initials."

Hatheway has contacted some of the papers and has heard a variety of reasons voiced for not using the ads. Some newspaper officials anparently thought Among Friends might be a cover for prostitution. Some feared they'd lose readers. Many, Hatheway is convinced, are simply prejudiced against gays.

Hatheway has high hopes for Amonq rriend$ and is now compiMng a separate referral quide, a sort of "Yellow pages" for gays.

Tn 1004, the Milwaukee " p u m a reused to run adver tising for The United and was accused by the state's Equal Rights Division of violating a state law that forbids discrimination against homosexuals.

The "nited, incidentally, will continue Its rural out reach as soon as a new project coordinator is hired, according to "nited coordinator Gusan Green.

The case was settled out of court.

"I wouldn't say there were hard feelings when Jay left, but there was some confusion about what he was going to do. I think it's being resolved so both services can live side by side," Green says.

"I never expected this kind of difficulty," Hatheway says. "Among Friends is an attempt to reduce isola tion. How do you meet other gays and lesbians if you live God-knows-where?"

Green points out there are some differences between the two efforts. Among Friends is statewide, charges for its newsletter and doesn't "aggressively" do out reach training for professionals who work with gays. The United's project, once it's going again, will cover a 1"-county area, offer a free newsletter and do training and advocacy.

Is there an underlying assumption that gays have no right to sexualize? "That's a good question," he replies. "I think some of these editors and publishers aren't aware of the anti-discrimination law.

Although he's enthusiastic about his new venture, Hatheway insists Among Friends is not some kind o f personal crusade.

’nne newspaper responded by saying, '"e don't accept fraudulent, illegitimate and unethical ads.' I de finitely reel that, to some o f these people, the words 'gay' and 'lesbian' are obscene."

"My attitude is essentially, this is a state in which it's legal to be gay, so let's be gay. I've never M v e d in an environment where the law says you can be gay, so let's enjoy it."

As for claims that individuals might meet through the newsletter and have sex, "I can't control what happens when two people meet," "atheway says. "What if a bar runs an ad for special beer prices on Friday night, and a frat boy and a sorority girl meet and become romantically involved? Is the bar a sex club?"

[Reprinted with permission from The Capitol Times of Madison, Wisconsin, Feb. 8, 1986]

by Buddy May

he last part of the book is a catalogue of food choppers/qrinders, juicers, water purification sys tems, dehydrators, milling stones, and numerous other items that can be ordered from JoseDh's Rainbow in Portland, Oregon.

Greetings everyone and have a joyous and safe holi day season. rven though this Is a time for joy, fun, and parties, there Is also a serious side to it. We are all aware of the great tragedy that has befallen so many of our brothers and sisters. They will be remembered and missed this holiday season. One of the main factors that is stressed so much in the pre vention of AT HR is nutrition. The healthier our bodies are, the better our chances o f fighting off this horrible virus.

My favorite part of the book was the marvelous rec ipes that he has included. They range from salads and salad dressings to main dishes, sauerkraut, sauces, seed candies, and desserts, including tarts puddings and pies. There is also a section on Italian foods and a section on oriental foods.

Pecent. v, a beautiful man in Hawaii sent a copy of a book be has published to PFH. Since it is a cook■ook, it. was passed on to me to review. It is Hy no means your usual cookbook. Tt is titled The Throw V°u.r Stove and Creasy Pishes No rook ^ e c i p i ^ o k and the author is Joseph He N0lf0 . book is voted to a total vegan diet--eating nothing but raw living foods.

If you are at all serious about vegetarianism and your health, I recommend this book be added to your library. Copies may be obtained from Joseph at no each, mailed bookrate (4 to weeks') or at on each mailed airmail to weeks). or more copies are each, plus shipping; just specify which rate you want and he will include a bill for shipping with vour order. His address is Joseph He Nolfo, D .n . Box akekua, HI His phone number is qnR-eeq_qqai.. r don't think you'll regret the investment.

in his letter to RFH, Joseph stated that for a number of years now, he has worked with patients who had many forms of cancer. After putting them on his diet astounding results were achieved. He is now receiv ing letters telling him about the marvelous positive results that have been achieved when AIDS patients have been put on this diet. Joseph says this diet is one of the simplest and purest methods of regenerat ing the cells of the human body and its immune sys tem. So far, the results of the patients that have gone on this diet are proving him right.

Since gave RFD permission to reprint something from his book, I thought I would give you one of his sim ple dessert recipes. By the way, this is also great ror breakfast.

BANANA-TAHINI

As I stated earlier, this is a vegan diet. There are no cooked foods in this diet, only fresh (organic if at all possible! living fruits, vegetables, grains, seeds, and nuts. Paw honey is the only sweetener nsed, and he say if you must use milk, please use ony fresh raw milk. There are chapters on "high and low oods and food combining, and the harmony that can be attained with a halanced diet--the yin-yanq principle. ue also tells you hot to do composting and ''*'til i in~. There is also a chapter on sprouts and sprouting especially wheatgrass which is a mainstav of this diet.

Grind up l/ 4c up sesame seeds in a handmill or blen der. lend in one ripe banana and enough rejuvelac to make a thick sauce. Pour the sauce over 1 or 2 sliced bananas in a bowl. Mix and serve. You can garnish this with some soaked raisins or apple or both and add a dash of cinnamon if you like.

'■fell , that's about it for this time. Take care of yourselves, stay healthy, and may we all have a hette"ew vear. God bless you all and keep up the aood work, Josenh. 58

A Summer Day Remembered

Grow Basil,

Eat Pesto and Be Happy!

July 4th At Little Bear Retreat

by Moon Ho you know Pesto9 f"Desto, meet my reader; Reader, meet Pesto."1 Another good introduction is Oorothy Rankin's recent hook Restos rThe Crossing press, D .n . Rox 6^0, s n y 14886, $7.95, 140 pp.j. That's right, "Destosy plural: it means "pastes," and refers to a variety of herh preparations from Cremona ("funny, you don't look Italian . . which has enjoyed a recent increased popularity in certain yupped-out circles ("have we met before?"). Pood fashions will move on, however, and pesto will still be a serviceable delight and an excellent way

by Little Big Bear July 4th at Little Rear Retreat on the Colville In dian Reservation of northeastern Washington . . . We awoke this morning, as usual, by the sun warming our faces as we lay in bed.

to preserve your basil crop--or a good excuse to grow one. A good cup of basil and a batch of pesto can warm your winter like a visit from Pan.

I empty my piss can and start the day by sitting nude on our small front porch, lett.inn the sun drift over my body as I watch the mists clear from the Kettle Ridge mountains east of us.

Ms. Rankin provides a thorough introduction to the process of making pesto, and spares us the excessive attitude of many food stylists--basi1 pesto from fresh and dried herb, sage pesto, tarragon pesto, rosemary pesto, entrees such as shrimp with cold cilantro sauce, sage pesto and greenbean salad and pesto bread. These, as well as directions for pre serving pesto, alone make the hook a value, but her directions for dried tomatoes make it a treasure. Her writing is personal and clear, and her book is delightful (but not as good as her food).

Little Rear comes downstairs from our sleeping loft, and we kiss and huq goodmorning. He starts a small outdoors fire to boll water for h1s tea; it's too hot already this morning to use the wood cookstove. The the chickens, pheasants, and dogs are fed and watered. The sun becomes wanner but a cool, re freshing breeze is coming from the north (the Colum bian Ice Fields are not far away, over the British Columbia border), making the wildflowers dance and the windchimes play tunes from all four corners of our home's roof.

nprothy's Classlc Basi1 nesto

?. cups fresh basil leaves ? Targe cloves o f garlic

Another beautiful day to enjoy and share.

^ cup freshly grated parmesan cheese ? tsp. freshly grated Romano cheese \ cup pine or walnuts h cup olive oil

After lunch of iced sun-tea and egg salad sandwiches (our own homegrown New Hampshire eggs), we walk out to the barn to watch our chickens. The new chicks are happy and healthy, running all over their cages as the mother hens keep clucking to them over bits of food.

Hand version--Use a mortar and pestle or chop it. Start with garlic and salt, gradually add basil and nuts, then cheese at last; gives a coarse puree.

Little Rear decides to do some reading and take a nap. Food processor--Buzz everything except the oil, which you add slowly during processing. Blend until you 1ike the texture.

I walk through our woods over to the little cabin where we have panted flowers and hung wind chimes. What a beautiful day! I spend some time in one of our hammocks just watching the tops of the pine trees sway back and forth and enjoying the sun.

Sage Pesto

h cup fresh sage leaves \h cups fresh parsley leaves

After dinner we walk down to garden is growing: ourfirst our water pump and water the each row of plants down past bedded them in.

9 large cloves of garlic cup freshly grated Darmesan cheese H cup pine or walnuts cup ol ive oil salt and pepper

the river to see how our garden here. We start garden well, soaking the straw mulch we have

Afterwards, the river sure looks good and in we go; the soft sand, smooth rocks, and cool water feel so good.

nuzz dry stuff in blender, adding oil unti1 the con sistency pleases you.

Later, the breeze dries our skin, and we slowly walk up the hill to our forever house to make love.

■ ■■ ■■ ■■ ■ • ■■ »■ ■■ ■■ ■■ ■■ ■■ ■■ ■■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■■ ■■ ■■ ■a

It appears the "Peagan Revolution" is over. I con sidered it a devolution. So, is Reagan a lame duck president or is he a dead duck? And with the furor over clandestine arms sales to Iran, Reagan is de finitely on the downhill slide. Rut has Reagan all along been an aberation in American politics'because of his popular image and personality and not because of his ideological and partisan views? Americans haven't supported his issues. Only by his force of personality and popularity has he been able to make any ideological/legal gains. But he has been the most partisan and unyielding of presidents. Only with a Republican controlled Senate could he have achieved his goals. Now that is at an end. The people have spoken against his party. The House still has a comfortable Democratic majority yet they only picked up 5 seats. But now the Demo crats are more conservative than at the time of the 1ast election. The party has moved away from minor ity issues toward a moderate mainstream. In state politics there were seven Republican gover norships gained, so that there are only 26 Democrats to 24 Republicans in office.

c. 1986

The greatest achievement for our community was the overwhelming defeat by a four-to-one margin of Pro position 64, the LaRouche sponsored anti-AIDS ini tiative, in Dalifornia. Had this passed it would have sent a strong message to the nation that gays and others carrying the HIV and all PWA's could be deprived of their rights, put in quarantine.

OF BULL, PAPAL AND

Up until election day returns began coming in, there was unsureness over how the vote would turn out, due to the large number of undecided voters in polls taken over the past few weeks. Apparently the 'No on 64 campaign paid off, plus the negative publicity

OTHERWISE

qanlzatinn S ? !nf ctlnents Boston of LaRouche organization officials accused of defrauding elderly Crimes.

by Stuart Norman

thousands of dollars, among other

The gay community in California led the fight, but it could not have been won without the support of the medical profession, politicians of both parties and °JS?rr Pe°ple of a11 Persuasions. The defeat at ast demonstrates gay political clout. That is an-

flnce again America has gone through the biannual cra ziness that characterizes an election. This past November 4, we hit an ail time low in voter turnout and in negative campaign advertising and rhetoric, which may have been a reason for the low percentage of voters at the polls.

fiabiry Sbe°proudSof9e t0 ^

natf°" that we can just1'-

Dut yet another message was sent to the nation by the r?.ea!; ! 1bera1 California Supreme Court justices

Tor the gay community and other progressive causes the wins/losses look about 50-50— a decided improve ment over the past tew years, with some positive in dications of a brighter future.

in a Mright-wing a h t °*6 B1rd’ T°Seph Cruz Reynoso in a campaign overGr0dfn their and apparent laxity

n c w T I I f 1?9 the death penaU^

’aw K

John n l w n '•’T 1D en California state Senator tJl ^ 99 ’ nho 1S Infamously known for sponsoring ers ad " e Propo? ,t1'°" 6 against gay schoolleachs, de.eat.ed nearly 10 years ago. Now Republican

The U.S. Senate is now firmly in Democratic hands with a 55 to 45 majority; more than expected. Cal 1ornia Senator Alan Cranston won his fourth term by a slim margin, defeating Republican Assemblyman and challenger Ed Zschau, a popular moderate. Cranston has been a long-time friend of the gay community and a supporter of the national Gay Rights Bill. At least now Democrats will now head committees Ted Kennedy, current chair of the Senate Judiciary Com mittee wants to chair the Labor Committee, leaving the Judiciary to Sen. Joseph Ryden. The question arises as to whether Byden will be able to focus as strong an opposition to the ‘ieese (in)Justice Depart ment.

wf 1^"apDoint'th 0ukf ejfan’ elected to a second term, w i n appoint three Supreme Court justices of conserto b ^ f i n p d ^ ’t h ^ thrS? appo1ntments are expected to be filled by those of impeccable legal credentials.

rahl l f I r n ! l T tant bacause in the Past as 9°es the court /wt X h mn w°url a,so 9oes the Ration's high court * .? 6wD J , R?hr’gu1st and Seal 1a already on the pe^haos h i l w ’ be ''""aaalhgly conservative and Thus we patently discriminatory opinions handed down Thus we have our work cut for us to convince leglsS u X

L Pn ™ PH 9gr::S,Ve l3WS C,rCU"Vent,n9 the

servative Supreme Court decision on sodomy (see ad dresses in announcements section).

Another potentially dangerous initiative that passed in California is the English Only, which makes English the only official state language. It will make life -M^icult for non-rnqiish speaking minorities who will soon make up a majority of residents in the state. It's all part of an anti-immigration feeling growing in the nation. And, with the recent passage of the Simpson/Rodino Immigration ^ill, the Immigra tion and Naturalization Service regulations are be coming stringent and discriminatory.

What the right wants is cultural preservation--a homogenous society, not a multiplicity of lifestyles and a plurality of beliefs. They see individual differences as a threat to the nation, the society, themselves. Ronald Reagan represents their feelings and fears. He wants a Norman Rockwell picture vision of America, an early 20th century view, part of a dead, nostalgic past when America was a land of limited vision and eternal hope, but still a dictator to and exploiter of the world, building an empire.

On the positive side, California Senator Republican Dete Wilson took a stand in support of the national Gay Rights Bill after seeing the discrimination around the Proposition 64 campaign. And there were recent hearings in the U.S. Congress on anti-gay violence, at which our national organizations present ed documentation on this form of discrimination.

Now again we are readying for war. Current society predicates on wars against symptoms, whether medical, political, psychological, etc. Symptoms are seen as the problem by men who should know better, and some of them probably do, but use the symptom to hide the cause in the name of political power. Reasons are ignored because they might indict our culture as the cause. So the problems remain, grow stronger, multi ply, causing ever stronger resistance from society and government and thus rationale for war and political oppression. This hiding the head in the sand approach will eventually create a crisis that will probably overwhelm all of us. Unless we can educate our people for cultural change, hope remains small.

A few months ago the American Civil Liberties Union set up a Lesbian/Gay Rights Project headed by Nan Hunter in Washington. They are working for equal partners benefits legislation and legalization of gay ma rrfages. Finally, Surgeon General rverett Koop's report to the nation on AIDS recommended sex education in the public schools to prevent this deadly plague. Perhaps the tide has turned.

The ultra-right and Christian fundamentalism raising their ugly heads could burn themselves out as people see their bigotry, denfensiveness, fanaticism, in tolerance, narrow-mindedness. They are a sickness of the social psyche. Tactics we can use against this psychopathology are to bring out the bigotry under lying their issues, strip away their rationalizations and expose them for all people to see. Then they will be rejected by most people. If we show people the raw hatred underneath their rhetoric, it will not be accepted. I have that faith in humanity. As in the 'No of 64' campaign, the far right will lose if vigorously opposed by reason.

But now for the bad news. After the ridiculous Meese Dornoqraphy Commission Report, the head of the Justice Department has called for a Pornography Task Force and Information Center to be set up. Now the witch hunt begins. I surmise that anti-pornography campaigns keep the political energies of the people distracted and di rected away from important issues. On top of that, the Pope issued a letter on October 30, strongly condemning homosexuality, even to the very orientation, and giving excuse for anti-gay violence. The letter was clearly aimed at the Amer ican Catholic Church and gay Catholic groups. Now we have a known enemy. In Christian theology the Pope could be called a false prophet. He certainly is making way for anti-Christian sentiment. This put the American Catholic Church in a quandary. Perhaps there is a chance of a split away from the Vatican by some bishops and an attempt at reform, bringing the church into the ?0th century as a force for moral social change.

For gays, we need to have wider Interests and involve ments than only in gay issues. There are many things equally or more important for humanity than gay rights alone, such as eliminating hunger, the nuclear threat and ecological problems. Someday the national (Gay Rights Bill will pass. There will still be discrimination against us, just as with blacks today years after the Civil Rights Act. And there will be suits and court proceedings over dis crimination. Society Is slow to change, and rational presentations do not significantly budge it. Laws do not end prejudice. But the move to the right with its disregard for the underprivileged 1s beginning to show the American people how bankrupt is its "moral" philosophy, one of a dark age no longer relevant.

I've always known why those declarations of the Pope were called Papal Bulls. But politics, the state and organized religion are one, so what do you expect? Aren't you glad there's a non-discriminating Goddess to worship?

It is time we wake up to world problems, and this political milieu is a lesson for us in changing our consciousness toward the world.

We should also be aware of an essential unfairness in American elections, such that third party and indepen dent candidates are restricted by state ballot access laws. Usually an inordinate number of signatures are needed on petitions to get a party or candidate on the ballot, usually several times more than for Demo crats and Republicans. And both the left and right support this political status quo. But the New Alliance Party and the Rainbow Alliance lobbying groups are mounting support for election law reform, gay rights legislation to thwart the con 61

The Rev. Charles Newton of Tolarsville Baptist Church in St. Pauls, NC, was interviewed in Playboy (Sept, issue) along with five other ministers who support Fun damentalists Anonymous, an organ ization aimed at helping people withdraw from fundamentalist churches and groups. Newton, who is presently organizing a chapter of Fundamentalists Anonymous in North Carolina, was quoted in the interview as having said, "I can tell you how dangerous the fun damentalist mind-set is. It's a mind-set that justifies child abuse as 'discipline in the home,' that excuses wife beating, since women should be submissive to their husbands, that fosters the bombing of abortion clinics, the murder of prostitutes or the lynching of homosexuals." As a result of the Interview with Playboy Newton says that some member's" of nis congrega tion have received threatening telephone calls and there have been threats by some to have him removed from the pulpit. Yet New ton says that he does not regret his Playboy interview or his state ments about fundamentalism. New ton also says that he is the first ordained minister to take a leader ship in Fundamentalists Anonymous, which already claims to have 22,000 members and 31 chapters, with a growing rate of 100 new mem bers each day.

VATICAN BULL The Vatican has made public a 14page document called "Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care on Homosexual Per sons," which reaffirms the church's condemnation of homosexuality. The document warns that homosexual acts are an "intrinsic moral evil." Their argument: homosexual tenden cies are not, in and of themselves, morally evil, but homosexual acts are.

Despite fears of criticism, the Evangelical Women's Caucus Interna tional (EWCI) has approved a resolu tion endorsing "civil rights protec tion for homosexual persons," ac cording to the Los Angeles Times. At its biennial convention in Fres no this year, the 12-year-old group which includes 650 members of evan gelical churches, voted 80-16 (with 23 abstentions) to approve the re solution. Following the vote, Ann Eggebroten, the resolution's spon sor, commented, "We have not said that theologically...homosexual be havior is OK with God; we took a stand on civil rights."

The Archdiocesan Gay/Lesbian Out reach (AGLO), a pastoral ministry of the Catholic Archdiocese of Baltimore, Md., has released a book that stresses positive images of homosexuality while downplaying the church's traditional censure of homosexual acts. The booklet, Homosexuality: A Positive Catholic Perspective^calls homosexuality a natural and normal variant of hu man sexual makeup" and carefully distinguishes between a homosexual orientation, which it calls "not sinful," and homogenital acts, which the Catholic Church has con sistently taught are sinful."

CHURCH VS. STATE

FUNDAMENTALISTS 3non fundamentalists representing 30 countries met at Bob Jones Uni versity tor the World Congress of Fundamentalists. The delegates approved some 23 re solutions opposing human rights for homosexuals and for blacks in South Africa, attacking the World Council of Churches, affirming their sup port for nuclear war and their sup port for protestant control of Northern Ireland. In keeping with the tenets of fundamentalism, all resolutions were passed without a dissenting vote. 62

The American Coalition of Unregis tered Churches, a national funda mentalist group, has called the im position of federal regulations upon churches by federal agents "an attack on religious freedom." The group insisted that the imposition of even health and fire codes upon the churches were a direct affront to their beliefs. They also called for a 100? quarantine of all AIDS carriers and for sodomy to be out lawed and punishable as a felony. The group accused the IRS of "ter roristic tactics" against Americans and compared the agency to the Nazi Gestapo and the KGB. They accused the IRS of a five year plan to en slave the churches and the selfemployed. The federal government should be allowed to make sugges tions, but may not force the church to follow any federal rules, Coalition forces argue.

repressed, have summonded up the spectre of a possible nuclear holocaust to force these spirits to face and deal with their fears.

RIGHT USE HF WILL received by reanne DeRohan One World Publications c/o Brotherhood of Life 110 Dartmouth SF Albuquerque, NM R71G6

Since God has seen these spirits will not face up to their fears (and eventually bring on the holocaust in reality) and since the Earth herself has already ask ed that she be healed of all the abuse she has taken, God has already thought of a solution in advance and various prophets have predicted it. The apocalyptic visions of doomsday were the prophets' reactions to seeing what would happen to those spirits who refuse to listen to God's advice.

160 pp, S7.on

Reviewed by Big Stone Right Use Of Will is a channeled book, the sender be ing none other than God. Not the hairy thunderer of primative Hebrew myth, but a vital, evolving God who transcends sex, race, creed, ect.; concerned with all spirits' well-being and willing to be anything they want, so long as they recognize the existance of God. In the book, God affirms a willingness to appear and communicate in any form or way to any spirit, but can no longer accept anyone totally denying God's exist ance and power any more.

God has decided to come and put everyone in their right place. There, everyone will have to face the reflections of their denials. This does not mean the experience could not be a pleasant one. Indeed, not all those going to the place called Hell will suffer there. Hell, if I read the book correctly, is a place where those spirits who have chosen to follow the path of violence may do so with maximum opportunity even to the extent of experiencing nuclear war if they wish.

The book has been sent at this time because the evo lution o* the spirits on Farth is being thwarted. This includes the Farth herself and the animals, who have their own destinies to fulfill, but cannot due to the activities of a number of greedy, hateful and destructive spirits. The patience of the Farth and the animals with man's destructive activities has been mistaken for lifelessness or unresponsiveness, but soon they will react to the pressure man has placed on them.

Other things will be going on during this 'cosmic housecleaning'. There will be massive Earth changes, the United States in particular being heavily struck by earthquakes and land subsidence along both Fast and West coasts, the Mississippi river valley, and the lands immediately to the south of the Great Lakes. There is ample evidence that the Earth has already begun to cleanse herself, a cleaning that will cul minate in the megaquakes predicted by rdgar Cayce, Nostradamus, and many others. Also 1n those times, the animals whom man has attacked, driven from their habitats, or otherwise mistreated will become fierce ly belligerent, or die, or be lifted o ff the Farth to continue their evolution elsewhere.

One of the main messages of the book is the concept of right place. All things which God has created are good when they are in thei r right pi ace, the place God in tende^for^THem. The Eartn was created to be the right place for a certain-group of spirits, but later on other spirits arrived on Earth, spirits who were seek ing for their own right place or fleeing from it, thinking it a judgement apon them. Right place is not a judgement upon spirits, but the place where the spirits will feel the best and have the most unlimited possiblities for higher evolution. The troubles on Farth, past and present, stem from the fact that there are spirits here who do not belong here. The carth does not feel good to these spirits (and vice versa) so they strike at her - mining, polluting, exploding nuclear devices underground, ect. Wan’s technology has made it possible to destroy all life on Farth - it is comforting therefore to hear from God that nuclear war will not be allowed to happen on Farth.

when things settle down, the remaining spirits (those whose consciousness can allow them to live w1th the Earth instead of off her) will find that they really are compatable and can cooperate to build a peaceful, productive, non-exploitive world. But the most Im portant thing is that these spirits will be able to continue their evolution without the distractions of the unloving, violent spirits that now run rampant over the Earth, exploiting and poisoning her without thought of or regard for their fellow spirits. Personally, as someone who has studied religions and belief systems for several years, I am very impressed with the material in Right Use Of Will and wanted my RFD family to know aboutTt. One last note; God says TfTthe book that no one is to force the teachings in Right Use Of Will on others. If only God had put that in the Bible!

Why did God allow these disruptive spirits to come here? Because all spirits have free will. God gives advice when asked, but does not want to order spirits around like a dictator. Gome spirits have experienced their right place and denied that it was right for them. So, God has allowed these spirits to go to other places where they think they would be happy. In this way they can find out for themselves.

But now, the excercise of this free will among the spirits who do not belong on Earth is interfering with the evolution of the spirits who do belong here. A few individuals, through their control of major industries and nations, are manipulating and regimenting the lives of millions on Earth, killing individual spiri tual gifts by not allowing any deviation from a narrow 'socially approved' norm; not to mention destroying life on Earth and the Earth's very ability to support life. This is because of deeply held (and therefore sometimes unconscious) death-wishes on the part of these violent spirits. Their death-wishes, denied and 63

u etw een

The G

ender O

Walter Williams’ 7

#BS'P'l'R'n

p p o s it e s

AW D7 7 A S S '#

Sexual 'Divm&ity Cu 'Indian (?u(tu%e by JM ichael Clark, Ph.D c. 1986 Exploring spiritual alternatives to traditional Juda ism and Christianity which are informed by our ex periences as gay people is an ongoing process for many readers of RFD. Two years ago, I suggested in these pages (issue' #40, pp. 22-30) that the role of the berdache in native America might serve as one model for these endeavors. Professor Walter Williams, of the Program for the Study of Women and Men in Society at the University of Southern California, has now published a book which confirms the centrality of spirituality for the berdache role and which similar ly discusses the relationship of the berdache to con temporary gay people and their spirituality. His text is clearly one which many RFD readers will want to examine (The Spirit and the FTesh: Sexual Diver sity lH Amerfcan IndianT u l ture, Boston: Beacon Press. lRBfi, 344 p p , S21.QS hardcover). His text is very well documented, including sixteen illustrative plates and an extensive bibliography. Williams' excellent scholarship does for the berdache in native America what Johr Roswell's 1PR0 text (Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, University of Chicago press) did for gay people in pre-medieval Christendom. Moreover, Williams' very readable book has already garnered the annual award of the Anthropological Re search Group on Homosexuality (A.P.G.H.) for 1RR6, and has been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. Dr. Williams is himself president of the International Gay and Lesbian Archives, past co-chair of the Commit tee on Lesbian and Gay History, and an officer of the A.R.G.H.; his work has also appeared in The Advocate and Journa~l of Homosexuality, among otTTers.

Williams is quite adamant on two points: the unique ly androgynous, "third-gender" status of the berdache, and the importance of spirituality to the character and self-understanding of the berdache. Insofar as native Americans believed everything has a spiritual aspect and no spirit is superior to any other, their egalitarian and ecological vision accepted all diver sity and assured a special, non-deviant status to human variation. The berdachehood, for example, is founded in native mythology, their destiny is designed by_the divine, and they are religiously and socially initiated into their roles. They are the spiritual intermediaries between masculine and feminine quali ties, between real men and women, and between the spirit and the flesh, the sacred and profane, as both homo'sexually active persons and ceremonial leaders. Recause their difference is not viewed negatively, the berdaches are not seen as handicapped or deviant, but as accruing special advantages, "freed from the restrictions of the usual." Because causality rests with the spirits, the ber daches are not held personally accountable for their difference. Ihere is no low self-esteem, no s u d pression of one's non-masculine qualities, and no pressure to conform. The berdaches were traditionally respected and protected by their religion, their cul ture, and their families; they had an integrated role within supportive family structures which participated nurturantly in the "coming out" processes of selfr®alization and initiation. Since native cultures did not exude homophobia, friendships between ber daches and non-gay men were also commonplace. Thus, rather than being ostracized, the berdache has tra ditionally been central to native American social and family life: "When family members know that one of their relatives is this type of person, . . . when they have positive cultural reinforcements . . . with out interference from outside religious groups claim ing that there is something wrong . . ., unpreiudiced family love can exert itself."

In his introduction, Williams describes the antisexual and often homophobic bias which colors most previous work on the berdache. He indicates that prior to this book there was no major study that com bined the historical documentation, anthropological literature, and direct fieldwork with . . . berdaches of different tribes,” certainly no such work from an openly gay-sensitive perspective. Williams eschews the extremes of these earlier studies, avoiding either a "facile equation of homosexuality and berdachism" or a denial of the berdaches' sexuality. His multi dimensional understanding discloses that androgyny, spirituality, and homosexuality are inseparably in tegrated by the berdache. He thus reaffirms my earli er contention that "the berdache(s) (are) our best example of homosexual persons who are able, through interaction with one another, their cultures, and their societies, to synthesize successfully both sex uality and spirituality, for both personal and social benefit." Will tarns' purpose in the present study is, therefore, "to examine how a culture can accomodate gender variation and sexual variation beyond man/woman opposites, without being threatened by it."

he absence of pressure to choose between opposites of masculinity and femininity and an egalitarian appreciation of aV[ gender roles enabled the berdache to embody the status of a "third gender." Williams' research and fieldwork consistently demonstrate that while the berdaches were always anatomically male, they were in fact both male and female, and not en tirely either. Urging us to transcend our western, dichotomizing ways of understanding and categorizing, Williams describes a mixing of attributes, dress, work, and idiosyncrasies which are not effeminate, transvestite, or gender-crossing activities as we westerners might interpret them. The androgynous character and heightened spirituality of the berdache 64

are far more important than any of our comfortable and customary categories. The berdaches belong not at the poles, but along a spectrum of gender and sex ual possibilities.

for all concerned, native cultures have evidenced a persistent tenacity against total cultural and reli gious assimilation: "Most Indians who have kept their traditions and ceremonies also seem to have kept the respect for the berdaches."

Sexual behavior is equally freed from polarization in such cultures. Same-sex eroticism, for example, is not limited to the (usually sexually passive) berdache role. A spectrum of sexuality, including homo sexuality, is incorporated into native societies (into incest and marriage rules), allowing bisexuality and alternating homo- and heterosexuality with sanctioned spousal roles for both partners. Same-sex marriages achieved equal status and advantages and were only restricted if they interfered with the need for chil dren among a threatened people. Polygyny and adoption precluded any real problem here. Williams concludes: "Stigmatizing people because of their sexual behavior, or restricting people's choices generally, is not seen as a valid function of (native) society. Personal freedom is too highly regarded for such an approach to exist."

Williams' groundbreaking work does not stop here. He also orovirles a cross-cul tural overview o * Mgures similar to the berdache in rskimo A1aska and Liberia, Korea-u ietnam-Tndonesia, Polynesia Tahiti, Hawaii, ^amoa, ^ew 7ealandl, India, and Africa, while examin ing dissimilar same-sex relations world-wide, with particular attention to the relationship of homo eroticism to male-ma"!e mentoring and training in the Socratic style. we is also astute to same-sex female relationships among indigenous peoples. While the institution Williams designates as "Amazons" is not an equivalent of the male berdache, it was also spirit ually designated and could entail shamanlstic prac tices. A more informal and less frequent role than that of the berdache, the Amazon was not particularly androgynous; she tended to be more masculinely iden tified, although falling short of acceptance as a "full-fledged" male. Different from men, women, and the berdaches, the Amazon constituted a "fourth gen der." Female same-sex relationships were also social ly acceptable, with the gender orientation fluid for non-Amazon partners as with non-berdache partners, al though again the urgent need for children limited a woman's options until children were produced.

Williams is quick, however, to place this seemingly idyllic picture of traditional native America in juxtaposition with the realities of European intru sion. The complicated European political and religious values, which included an obsession with sexual sin and a misogynist disdain for non-male work and which condemned the actions and exploited the possessions of non-conformers, were imported against indigenous Americans. Inquisitorial punishments and European diseases together decimated native peoples: "Instead of learning lessons about human variability in erotic attraction and gender role, the Spanish used the exis tence of homosexuality as evidence of Indian inferior ity (which) provided a major justification for the conquest and subjugation of the New World." A con sequent shift in the berdache role occurred, from a vulnerable, public ceremonial presence toward privacy. Their spiritual role became secondary to their an drogynous character and gender-mixing role.

Drobably the single most important chapter in Wil Mams' text for readers of RPP is that which connects the issues summarily discussed above with contemporary gay existence. I can only applaud and underscore what Williams says to us here. Truly cMiming the ber daches for fay history can restore an appreciation o f androgyny to gay identity. Peing gay should be more of a third gender existential standpoint, with a unique perspective and sensibility, not just a matter of sexual behavior difference. f*nly endorsing the homophobic oppressors' values can so limit our selfunderstandings. We need, instead, to establish our rootedness in history by reclaiming our historic sacred destiny, between the gender opposites. Con versely according to Williams, gay liberation can en able native Americans to reappreciate the value of the berdache tradition. A revival of native traditions increases the status of both the berdaches and gay people. Our shared concerns for civil rights and for pride in who we are could create strong liaisons against the forces of conservative, Anglo-Christian oppression.

Unlike the Spanish, the English did not immediately conquer and Christianize native Americans, instead pushing them ever westward for some 200 years. Wil liams thus hypothesizes that the all-male conditions on the frontier would have allowed Anglo-Indian couplings. Given sodomy laws in the east from 1610 (Virginia), the frontier was a good place for Anglo gays to flee, and the berdaches welcomed outsiders as husbands while their tribes welcomed loyal, contribut ing adult men. Couplings would thus be possible on the margins of so-called civilization: "To survive, male-male relationships had to exist away from colo nial control."

Williams does insist that the berdaches are tradition ally far more androgynous, spiritual, and communally/ culturally interconnected than urbanized and ghetto ized gay men tend to be. While we have liberated our selves sexually, we have neglected our spiritual dimen sion^). We need to broaden and deepen our self-under standings o f what being gay means and of what having an all-encompassinq qay character means. Tt will not be an easy task to relinquish our narrow, asslmilationist self-categorization as merely sexually different. We are called to move instead toward an integration and celebration o f human diversity. We need to re claim and nurture our spiritual aspects, to embrace and embody our myth-laden, third gender uniqueness-asgift, and to stand between masculinity and femininity, sacred and profane. It is my sense from Williams' text that only through such a spiritual renewal will the energies be released among gay people for genuine justice-making and liberation-seeking in the world.

Nevertheless, between 1840 and 1900, the Indians were banished to ever-shrinking reservations, their trea ties violated, their IJ.S. citizenship denied, and their religion outlawed. By law, the U.S. suppressed the berdaches' healing and ceremonial practices, gen der-mixing work and dress, and homosexual behavior. As forced assimilation diminished their social differ ences, their sacred status declined and, again, the berdachehood "went underground," secreted from non gay, white Anglo observers. Denying the mythical and sacramental underpinnings of the berdaches effected a cultural genocide, created confusion between tradition al and Christianized religion/moral messages, and denied the historical value of native Americans and the berdaches: "In its most extreme ethnocentric form, everything Western was sanctioned as the will of God, while everything (indigenous) was evil." Fortunately 65

Berdache! The excerpts from Williams' landmark book which follow are not intended, anymore than the foregoing critical discussion, to serve as a substitute for a direct e n counter with this text. They are edited and of fe re d by the reviewer merely as a fur ther taste of the flavor of Williams' readable scho la r ship and insights, and thus as an en couragement to p a r take of the full, rich feast he offers us. (The reviewer also thanks Jim Braden and Mike Feinstein for numerous helpful suggestions incor porated above.)

Indians, the institution of another gender role means that berdaches are not deviant--indeed, they do con form to the requirements of a custom in which their culture tells them they fit. Berdachism is a way for society to recognize and assimilate some atypical in dividuals without imposing a change on them or stig matizing them as deviant. This cultural institution confirms their legitimacy for what they are.

Briefly, a berdache can be defined as a morphological male who does not fill a society's standard man's role, who has a nonmasculine character. This type of person is often stereotyped as effeminate, but a more accurate characterization is androgyny. Such a person bas a clearly recognized and accepted social status, often based on a secure place in the tribal mythology. Berdaches have special ceremonial roles in many Native Americans, and important economic roles in their fam ilies. They will do at least some women's work, and mix together much of the behavior, dress, and social roles of women and men. Berdaches gain social pres tige by their spiritual, intellectual, or craftwork/ artistic contributions, and by their reputation for hard work and generosity. They serve a mediating function between women and men, precisely because their character is seen as distinct from either sex. They are not seen as men, yet they are not seen as women either. They occupy an alternative gender role that is a mixture o f diverse elements.

Societies often bestow power upon that which does not neatly fit into the usual. Since no cultural system can explain everything, a common way that many cul tures deal with these inconsistencies is to imbue them with negative power, as taboo, pollution, witch craft, or sin. That which is not understood is seen as a threat. But an alternative method of dealing with such things, or people, is to take them out of the realm of threat and to sanctify them. The ber daches' role as mediator is thus not just between women and men, but also between the physical and the spiritual. American Indian cultures have taken what Western culture calls negative, and made it a posi tive; they have successfully utilized the different skills and insignts of a class of people that Western culture has stigmatized and whose spiritual powers have been wasted.

Tn their erotic behavior berdaches also generally (but not always^ take a nonmasculine role, either being asexual or becoming the Dassive partner in sex wit*1 men. In some cultures the berdache minht become a wife to a man. This male-male sexual behavior became the focus of an attack on berdaches as "sodomites" by the Europeans who, early on, came into contact with them, from the first Spanish conquistadors to the Western frontiersmen and the Christian missionaries and government officials, Western culture has had a considerable impact on the berdache tradition. In the last two decades, the most recent impact on the tradi tion is the adaptation of a modern Western gay iden tity. This historical perspective is the subject of Part II of the book.

Many Native Americans also understood that gender roles have to do with more than just biological sex. The standard western view that one's sex is always a certainty, and that one's gender identity and sex role always conform to one's morphological sex is a view that dies hard. Western thought is typified by such dichotomies of groups perceived to be mutually exclusive: male and female, black and white, right and wrong, good and evil. Clearly, the world is not so simple; such clear divisions are not always real istic. Most American Indian worldviews generally are much more accepting of the ambiguities of life. Ac ceptance of gender variation in the berdache tradition is typical of many native cultures' approach to life in general. !pp. 2-3]

To Western eyes berdachism is a complex and puzzling phenomenon, mixing and redefining the very concepts of what is considered male and female. In a culture with only two recognized genders, such individuals are gen der nonconformist, abnormal, deviant. But to American 66

Knowledge of the berdache tradition has had a signi ficant impact on the development of qa.y liberation, but within the last two decades the gay movement has had a strong impact on younger Indians. The situa tion of modern gay people and modern Indians is similar in many ways. Individuals of both groups happened to migrate to the big cities as a result of the massive draft and defense industry during World War II, with urban Indian communities and gay commun ities emerging about the same time.

. . . It is important for non-Indians in our plural istic society to learn how other cultures deal with gender variation. Even more important is the situa tion of Indian youth. On many reservations today the status of the berdache has declined, and younger in dividuals who would formerly have taken a respected position in their tribe are currently stigmatized and lost in a society that is no longer independent o r colonial control, it is crucial for young Indian peo ple to be able to have this knowledge about their past traditions. IP- 141

There are major differences between a culture one is born into, with a family that socializes one from in fancy, and a sub-culture that individuals enter later in life. Still, both gays and Indians share a sense of being different, of being something other than what white America says is proper. In the same way that Indians were stigmatized as inferior savages, homosexuals were stigmatized as sick and sinful.

Spiritual justification, ceremonial roles, and a se cure place in the economic and social 1ife of the ex tended family combined to give berdaches a firm foot ing upon which to construct their lives and around which they could build a proud and unique identity. [p . 64]

[p. 207]

Berdaches get a special recognition in native society not because they become social females, but because they take a position between the genders. They serve a mediating function as Go-Between for women and men, in more than just a social sense. Because they are not considered the same as men or as women, their em phasized difference is a way of defining what women are, and what men are. Their androgyny, rather than threatening the gender system, is incorporated into it. Berdaches seem to symbolize the original unity of humans, their differentiation into separate gen ders, and the potential for reunification as well. Ironically, by violating gender norms, berdachism en hances the society's definition of what is woman and what is man. [d . 84]

Examined from the perspective of two traditions, In dian society and the Western gay subculture, American Indian berdachism today demonstrates that despite intense pressure from white people, Native American culture has not succumbed to cultural genocide. This tradition had to change and even go underground, but it has not vanished. By creatively adapting, berdaches--like American Indians generally--must be seen not as the vanishing American, but. the persisting American. It has managed to survive because of the respect that traditionalist Indians feel for the strength and the magic of human diversity, [p. 229] Today, in a world where peoples are interacting more intensively, knowledge of this diversity--and recog nition that the "modern homosexual" and the "modern heterosexual" are not the pinnacle of evolution--is necessary both politically and socially. The next frontier of research on both sexual and gender vari ance is to understand the many varieties of identities and roles. How they are different and alike is the question that will enrich our understanding much more than the simple answers that they are all the same or all different. They are both. The interaction of continuity and change is at the base of the human story, and any theory that ignores one of those ele ments is faulty. The interaction of these aspects, and of the social with the personal, is what is im portant. Their opposition is a false dichotomy.

. . . Sexual behavior with men is . . . an important element in the berdache tradition. Homosexual beha vior may occur between nonberdache males, but the cul tures emphasize the berdache as the usual person a man would go to for male sex. Kith the role thus in stitutionalized, the berdache serves the sexual needs of many men without competing against the institution of heterosexual marriage. Men are not required to make a choice between being heterosexual or being homosexual, since they can accomodate both desires. Nevertheless, for that minority of men who do wish to make such a choice, a number of cultures allow them the option of becoming the husband to a ber dache. IPP- 108-91

Generosity and spirituality, not homosexual behavior, are what underlie the social prestige of the ber dache from the Indian viewpoint, but these qualities are emphasized without denying the sexuality of the berdache. Spirituality, androgyny, woman's work, and sex with men are equally important indicators of berdache status. They are all seen as reflections of the same basic character of a person. rp. 127]

We can look to institutions like the berdache for new ways of thinking about sexual variance, love be tween persons of the same sex, and flexibility in gender roles. We can see from the berdache that friendship is just as important a value as family, and that such emotions and tendencies erotically ex pressed are not unnatural. We can question whether a separated gay sub-culture, a minority lifestyle built around same-sex preferences, is more preferable to integration of gender variance and male-male eroticism into the general family structure and the mainstream society. We can use the American Indian concept of spirituality to break out of the deviancy model, to reunite families, and to offer special benefits to society as a whole. At the least, our awareness of alternative attitudes and roles can allow us to appreciate the diversity of the human population, and the similarities that we share across the boundaries of culture. mmmm 1pp. 274-75]

Because the berdache institution has been subjected to extreme repression, it has declined in the twen tieth century. Berdachism may have gone underground, and it may have lost a religious role, but it has not disappeared. If white suppression of berdachism is a case study of cultural genocide, the continuation of the practice is an example of the strength of cultural persistence among contemporary Indian peo ples. This persistence has had a surprising effect on modern Western society as well. [p. 200] 67

an organic womb, safe and nourishing, which provides for the maturation of humanity--the Earth is MOTHER! How strange to think that a son would never tolerate it if someone spit in his mother's face, yet poisons are poured out on his ultimate mother, the EARTH. And we stand by in a trance of forgetfulness and do nothing, unconscious to the consequence that will en sue if such insult is continued. Three times before, according to Hopi tradition, humanity forgot our own Mother, our God, and ourselves, and three times be fore, catastrophe resulted. This is the fourth round for humanity, and from the looks of things, there may be need for a fifth. The Hopi remember the dovetail ing and balance of life; they remember in their Song of Creation and in their Kivas (underground caves made to simulate the womb). So far the Hopi have avoided cultural incursions, yet today, outside greed is threatening to taint the pure waters of their tra dition and break their umbilical connection to the Mother herself. If the government-church-utility scenario succeeds in causing divisions between the Navajo and Hopi, there will be crippling effects on the Hopi spiritual culture--for their nourishment is not only from that which is seen, but from that which is unseen as well. The Christian crusaders would do 'pH to send missionaries to the Hopi lands, not as teachers, but as students.

MEDITATIONS WITH THE HOPI by Robert Boissiere Bear K Company, Inc., PO Box 2860, Santa Fe, NM 87504 143 pp., $6.95 Reviewed by James Martin By way of description, this is called a "centering book," and that is exactly where the author puts the reader, at the center of Hopi tradition. As a child, Mr. Boissiere was adopted by the Hopi. This book is not an anglo-anthropological extrapolation, but the real thing as seen from the inside, a lineage of understanding and a code of conduct that cherishes and remembers humanity's relationship to the creator and to Mother Earth. "Hopi tell many stories; they all say the same thing--they all come from the same original people created by TAIOWA." The principal meditation among the Hopi is the Song of Creation. It is their prayer that sustains them through all ad versity. It calls to remember that t a i d w A is their spirit father, SOTUKNAMG is their adoptive one, and SPIDER WOMAN is the web which unites them all. How ever, if this mosaic of relations and interdependency between Earth, humans, and Spirit is forgotten, that forgetfulness will cause KOYAANSQUATSI (World out of balance). The results will be misery and illness. Remembering the "web" then, and the way it links all life seen and unseen, is reinforced in Hopi ceremonies, so that harvest and harmony will be sustained genera tion after generation. Remembrance has been sus tained through 800 years, during which time massive migrations of Hopi factions were led, through divine inspiration and direction, to come together as one people. Through all the hardships, migration, harsh lands and even Christianity, the Hopi remained un touched. They stayed high up on their mesas so that the dark shadow of the crucifix could not reach them, and they practiced ceremonies and remembered their source. Through it all, even in the metallic face of the 20th century tech-NO-LOGIC monolith called in tellect, the Hopi have sustained and survived, more or less intact, as a tradition because, rather than relying on the shifting temporary axioms of science and the vision of intellect, the Hopi rely on the right-brain function of intuition--the spiritual half.

This elegant little book calls us to remember that the luman being is not an island but a bridge. We are given insight into the beautiful Hopi heart, allowed to participate in ceremonies and poems, and helped to understand the Hopi social structure. Above all and under all is the land--the land as it was created by God and not as it has been tamed into desecration by "civilized" men.

THE SACRED ROUND Cd o p m S FROM AN ISLAND GARDFNl by Thelma '’aimer Island Publishers, Dn Rox 201, Anacortes, WA °8??1

67 pp., $7.a5

Reviewed by Scott Humphries Thelma Parker's collection of verse, The Sacred Round, celebrates birth, growth and life "through the metaphor of the cycles of a planted garden. The poems are light and airy and provide a refreshing break from the seeming conspiracy to keep serious poetry focused on the intensity and irony of life. Palmer keeps the reader focused on the emotion of Jjy- ?ome of the Poems almost take on metaphysical significance such as when the angel in "Starlight and Snowberries" speaks of these delights as "unions between heaven and earth." The subtle shift to deep er thought and meaning is appreciated.

Hopi ceremonies are tangible enactments of their codified revelations. However, they are not rigid and they allow for new insight. The underworld is to the Hopi the womb in Mother Earth from whence human ity issued. Unlike fundamentalist visions of demonic chambers of sulphuric horror, the Hopi underworld is

Although The Sacre^ Round lacks the punch and perhaps even the scope of "serious" poetry, it is a welcome approach to the art form and a joyous celebration of nature and life. 68

The Pink Triangle: The Nazi War Against Homosexuals by Robert Dlant Henry Holt & Co., Inc., 521 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10175 257 pp., tiq.ns clothbound, published 1QRF

memorialize our gay brothers--especially so since, as Plant makes clear, most historians, along with the general (straight) public, have been content to ig nore the sufferings of gay men under the Third Reich. This public silence is rooted in the same homophobia that motivated the Nazis, and that motivates "fanatical fundamentalists" in America to condemn us today. Plant writes: "One can only conclude that, for most historians, there was and still is a taboo in effect. The territory of gay history is strewn with such taboos. This book seeks to end the silence toward the fate of homosexuals under the Third Reich." That is why this book is so important. Gne can only hope that many people, straight and gay, will read it, and that more books on other as pects of the persecution (particularly the stories of individual gay men) will be written. "The crimes committed, and the crimes planned, were so unspeak ably monstrous that the human mind fails to apprehend their full dimensions."

Reviewed by Charles Simpson Robert °lant, the author of this book, fled Germany in 1933, a month after Hitler was named Chancellor of Germany and two months before the Nazis' first move in their war against gay men: the destruction of Magnus Hirschfeld's Institute of Sexual Science. Hirschfeld was one of the leaders of Germany's early gay rights movement, and as both a homosexual and a Jew he was doubly despised by the Nazis. By the end of Wor1d War II, twelve years after the destruction of Hirschfeld's institute, thousands of gay men had been murdered in concentration camps (by Plant's estimate; others have estimated the gay male deaths in the tens or hundreds of thousands). Plant has a personal investment in the subject of this book--though he managed to escape Hitler's war, his friends did not. The story he tells, which in cludes both personal memories and objective research, is difficult to come to terms with, but we have to know what was done to our brothers, and unfortunately, we must understand it, not as an inexplicable mad ness confined to a few years in the history of one nation, but as the completely logical consequence of centuries of gay-hating in western culture. As the U.5. Supreme Court recently reminded us, that same gay-hating is still with us.

Piecing It Together: Feminism X Nonviolence w Feminism and Nonviolence Study Group, T983 $3.00 Jennifer Tiffany, 525 S. Danby Rd. , Spencer, NY 14883

Plant's book is an excellent overview of the stages of the Nazi persecution and its official justifica tions. He gives us a brief sketch of the gay rights movement that preceded Hitler's rise to power. He takes us inside the mind of Heinrich Himmler, whose "raging homophobia" was the prime mover behind the mass murder of gay men, and who constructed a kind of crackpot "sexual cosmology" that demanded that German gay men be exterminated: "like stinging nettles we will rip them out, throw them on a heap, and burn them." Plant also describes the concentra tion camps, the dehumanization, torture, and murder of the Nazis' victims, and the specific position of gay men in the camp hierarchy. From the beginnings of the persecution to the grotesque "medical experi ments" performed on gay men in the camps ("the num bers of homosexuals used for these pseudo-medical undertakings was disproportionately large"), this chronic!e of the human capacity for evil is, for the acts and thoughts described, appalling reading, but it isn't a story we can choose to Ignore. At the book's end, the author issues a warning: "In many ways, the specters of the Third Reich still haunt us --not because a few elderly Nazis may be hiding in South America and not because groups of younger neoNazis demand attention with recycled swastika ideo logies and emblems. The specters begin to come to life whenever fanatical fundamentalists of any sort --religious or secular--take over a nation and call for a holy war against its most vulnerable and vilified minorities."

Reviewed by Michael Hile This study of the connection between feminism and non violence is the collective work of the Feminism and Nonviolence Study Group, which was formed in England in 1976, and published this booklet after a six year study of the issues common to both the feminist move ment and the peace movement. The work is divided into four sections, the first section outlines the roots of war, patriarchy, capi talism, the state and its institutions, and their ties to sexism. The authors write: "There is a profound relationship between the fact that individual women are commonly attacked and beaten up and that a nuclear war threat ens the entire world." The second section, titled "Breaking the Chains," ex plores ways in which feminist nonviolence can be used to create change in patriarchy and its violence-ridden institutions. The third section, titled "Claiming Our Lives," de scribes a feminist nonviolent response to male vio lence and discusses the role of feminists in the often male-dominated, church-oriented peace movement. The fourth and last section is clear and concise as a vision for the future in which "the material resources of the world will be shared equally between all the people of the world."

The Nazi war against gay men was, of course, only a small part of the larger Nazi war against all "un desirables": Jews, Gypsies, Jehovah's Witnesses, Marxists, the infirm of mind or body, and so on. As humans, we must mourn for all those who were mur dered , and as gay men, we must mourn for and

This pamphlet is an excellent outline of the manyfaceted issue of ma^e violence in all its forms and how to create change in a feminist, nonviolent manner.

MOLL CUTPURSF; HFR TRUr HISTORY by FI Ten Sal ford Firebrand Rooks, 141 The Commons, Ithaca, NY ?20 pp., $7.85

WINTER'S EDGE by Valerie Miner The Crossing Press, PO Box 640, Trumansburg, NY 14886 184 pp., $7.95 ($16.95 clothbound)

14R50

TRIANGLES by Ruth Geller The Crossing Press, PO Box 640, Trumansburq, NY 14886 186 pp., $7.95

THE SUN IS NOT MERCIFUL by Anna Lee Walters Firebrand Rooks, 141 The Commons, Ithaca, NY 113 pp., $7.95

Reviewed by Meg Umans

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Reviewed by Meg Umans

These two books are examples of the new genre of les bian novels. In both stories, the main character Is lesbian, and we see her begin and maintain a love re lationship . . . same as most lesbian novels. The difference here is that the actual lesbian content is slight, and mostly taken for granted, in the sense that we see people living their lives, coming from their orientation, rather than another fictional de scription of what it's like to be lesbian. Which means, by the way, that if you're looking for lots of sex or romance or political philosophy, you'd better look elsewhere.

These two new books, both from small feminist presses, are about categories of people we don't— at least I don't — spend much time thinking or talking about, and you probably have as few friends or acquaintances in each group as I do. Winter's rdge is a story of friendship between two old women . . . yes, I mean o1d, and The Sun Is Not Merclful tells some of the lives and legends of Pawnee Indians. Winter's Edge tells about Chrissie and Margaret, and the political issues concerning their downtown San Francisco neigh borhood, and how their emotional priorities influence their relationship. The Sun Ts Not Merciful consists of eight short stories, some describing daily life and some recreating stories of Pawnee origins.

c^p ur se ^ for fun. Moll lived in Elizabethan PnglancTTtfbe novel is based on a real woman named Mary Frith), and she was willing, and usually able, to outdo any man in any situation. She was bigger, smarter, stronqer, tougher. She trained kids to pick pockets (hence the title), and had crews working the streets and reporting to her. She worked and travelled with gypsies. She rescued her lover's aunt from persecution for witchcraft. She showed enough in genuity and enough love and compassion to be real and engaging, and almost pathologically independent. The story line alternates between narrative and flashback, which sometimes nets in the way of getting on with the action, but the series of vignettes is still enjoy able without a plot.

Chrissie and Margaret, in Winter's Edge, each live alone in the Geary Street area of San Francisco, and they've been friends for 30 years. They work long hours for minimal pay, and get most of their fulfill ment from their work and their friendship. As we meet them, the plot thickens, of course. Margaret's developing romance with Roger, and the ripples it causes in the women's friendship, are portrayed to show the strength and flexibility of everyone in volved. The violence, crime and partisanship in a local election highlight another strong character, the black woman candidate . . . and several weaker ones. Some of the descriptions are repetitive and long-winded, hut they're worth wading through or skimminq over, for the pleasure of seeing these women be themselves.

Triangles shows us the ties that bind Sunny to each of the members of her birth family, her ex-husband and dead daughter, and her lover. Sunny (Sonia) and her family are Jewish, and the novel is sufficiently im pregnated with Judaism and Yiddish to require--and include--a glossary. Again, there's not much plot, but an intense evocation of family life. Sunny's other life is with her roommate-turned-lover, Kay, and the intensity of thought and feeling are evident here too. The doubts and hesitations, the tangled motivations, are what we all think about in the middle of the night. The fights are painfully real. Sunny is a Jewish lesbian, and beyond that she's an honest and gutsy and real person.

The "real life" stories in The Sun Is Not Merciful may or may not be representatTve orTndicative or what it's like to be a Pawnee Indian. I wasn't able to get inside many of the people or situations de scribed here, but here are some outsider impressions: simplicity and honesty of language and feeling, stubbornness, pride in tradition and heritage, pover ty, discrimination. If these stories and myths are intended to increase understanding, I hope interested and empathic readers will ignore my short-sightedness and simply use this review to become aware of the book. I found it mildly interesting.

There's always room for more novels like Moll Cutpurse ar)d Triangles. They fill a different neecTTrom the novels that celebrate and explore and focus on les bianism. I see literature following life: once we've sorted out and integrated the many aspects of our identities, we can get on with being all of who we are . . . or at least get closer to it. It takes a long time.

Old women aren't alien to me, and I was eager to know and like Chrissie and Margaret. I was willing to know and like Walters' characters too, and if you're more familiar with their background than I, you'll probably be amply rewarded. Try either or both of these for a change of pace.

THF LION'S -DFN by Larry Howard Alyson Publications, Inc., 40 Plympton Street, Boston, MA 02118 u Distributed in Great Britain by GMP Publishers, PO Box 247, London, N16 6RW 240 pp, $7.95

MAKING BIRDHOUSES AND FEEDERS by Charles R. Self Sterling Publishing Co., Inc„, 2 Park Ave., New York, NY 10016 128 pp., $8.95 paper ($11.95 in Canada), $16.95 clothbound ($92.50 in Canada)

Reviewed by Richard Oliozia

Reviewed by Louis A. Colantuono

Lion's Den chronicles the love affair of closeted gay English professor Daniel Neuhaus and campus swimming star Matthew Reid. Set in a small college town in northern California, the novel spans the course of the semester during which the two men meet in an English composition course taught by Daniel.

In Making Birdhouses and Feeders, the author warns about not being a part-time provider for the birds. You either provide for them year round or you can help them through the winter, but don't hold them with promises of food for the winter when you don't want the responsibility of providing for them all winter long. I personally think this is a humane point to stress.

Daniel is a young academic, untenured, reluctantly caught up in the web of office politics in the de partment he teaches in, finding little time or oppor tunity to make contact with other gay men. His life is one-dimensional, unsatisfying, and empty. Enter the athletic Matthew, major undecided, sexual orien tation unknown, parentally dominated. He is uncertain, enigmatic, tentative.

In Making Bi rdhouses and Feeders Charles R. Self starts off with his introduction, then goes into choosing the proper wood for making birdhouses, into construction materials, and into the hand tools need ed. Mr. Self then gives us a chapter on power tools. He covers joint construction and finishes before he takes us into chapter 7 on birdhouse designs. In chapter 8 he describes birdfeeder designs and in chap ter 9 we read about bird foods.

The two men slowly, gradually become friends outside class. Daniel is hesitant, Matthew more insistent. They eventually become lovers, forming the first real caring relationship each has ever known. Their rela tionship is not without its (surmounted) obstacles, however, either for Daniel's teaching career or Matthew's relation with his family.

This is an excellent book with expert instructions, working photos and detailed drawings. This book also tells you how to make a birdbath for nature's singers. I liked this book for its easy-to-follow directions and its hand projects to delight our youthful partic 1pants.

The most gratifying thing about Lion's Den is witness ing Daniel and Matthew's growth toward maturity, fulfillment, and self-actualization. Although the ending of the novel is somewhat simplistic and too good to be true, it is heartening nonetheless to read the story of two men who help each other get what they want and who move toward greater openness, satis faction, and happiness in their gayness.

JAPANFSF WOODWORKING TOOLS: SELFCTION, CARP, AND USF by Henry Lanz Sterling Publishing Co., Inc., 2 Park Ave., New York, NY 10016 160 pp., $12.95 ($17.50 in Canada) Reviewed by Louis A. Colantuono

MAKING ACTION TOYS JN WOOD by Anthony & Judy Peduzzi Sterling Publishing Co., Inc., 2 Park Ave., New York, NY 10016 120 pages, $8.95 ($11.95 in Canada)

In the early 1970's was when I first discovered the RYOBA saw. This was a combination crosscut and rip saw with teeth cut on both sides of the blades. The difference between the American saw and the one from Japan was the one made in Japan only cut on the pull stroke, the advantage of this was the saw did not bind.

Reviewed by Louis A. Colantuono The toy projects in this book jump, swing, rotate, tumble, rattle, and clack because they are performing folk toys.

As a cabinet maker, I was lucky to know a Japanese cabinetmaker who taught me the basic use of his tools. This book explains in picture and text the manufac ture, the care and the basic use of the Japanese tools, from the water stones for sharpening blades all the way to shaping the bottom of your plane to suit your work purposes.

The Foot Clappers and the propellered Wotsit Stick are the simplest projects to make. The other projects take a little more time to make, but are not difficult to make with the clear and detailed instructions to help with each project. Starting on page 11 with "The Little Bit of Know-How on Tools and Materials," working right through to the finished toy, these toys are fun to make, fun to paint and fun to play with.

This book has pictures of each tool and text on how each tool is used. I personally used tools like the RYORA saw, Carpenters Hatchets, and the many off set of dog legs chisels. Many Japanese carving knives have no counterpart or equal in the United States.

Making action folk toys from wood is a growing hobby as well as a profitable past-time. This is an ex cellent book for the beginner to this interesting hobby.

This is a good book to own for the pictures, if no thing else. It's also a good book to own if you want to know more about tool making, tool design or tool use. 71

IS IT SAFE TO HAVE UNSAFE SEX WITH YOUR LOVER?

SEX POSITIVE by Larry J. Uhrig Alyson Publications, Inc., 40 Plympton Street, Boston, MA 02118 Distributed in Great Britain by GMP Publishers, PO Box 247, London, N16 6RW 94 pp., $6.95

[Reprinted with perm is si on from The San Francisco AIDS F o u n d a t i o n .]

Many men have the mistaken idea that Unsafe Sex with a lover is safe, especially if the relationship is monogamous.

Reviewed by Numa Pillion

This is rarely true. For most of us, there is no safe way to have Unsafe Sex during the AIDS epidemic.

This gem of a book puts its finger directly onto an astonishing fact: sex as taught in the Christian cul ture is given a negative accent. I have only to re view my own life to know this is so. When I was four years old I was made to sit in the cellar with the rats for exposing myself to my sister until promising not to do it again. I didn't know how babies were made until I was fifteen and I prayed that it was not true. Until this time I had hoped to somehow control my sexual desires but realized to my astonishment sex was to be a permanent part of my life. I would pro mise the priest in Confession that I would stop mas turbating. When I accepted the fact that sex was here to stay, I decided to be honest and admitted to the priest I would be doing it again. He got angry and raised his voice. I raised my voice, left the Confessional and the Church.

Nearly all of the publicity about AIDS has focused on avoiding Unsafe Sex with multiple partners. That is because from an epidemiological point of view, Unsafe Sex with multiple partners spreads AIDS far more widely than Unsafe Sex with a single partner. Monogamous relationships do cut down on the spread of AIDS, but they don't guarantee the safety of the men in the relationships. No one knows for certain just how much re-exposure to the virus is required for the disease to result. The body's defenses may be able to resist some quantity of the virus, but at some point, if you continue to be exposed ("even to viruses from the same person), your body's defenses may be overcome.

The author of Sex Positive writes: "We live in a sex negative world. We have been raised in sex nega tive value systems and religions." To this I say-Amen! brothers and sisters. Amen! and Amen!

It is not safe to have Unsafe Sex with your lover (or anyone else) UNLESS: 1. You have BOTH been relationship with each AND neither of you has fusions, or used other

The author continues: "Our task is to rethink the role of sexuality in our culture and to expose the socia’ and religious taboos that undergird our value system. We must rethink our interpretation of the basic symbols of our culture. We must reform the institutions that have been used to hold our sexuality and spirituality in tension."

in an EXCLUSIVELY monogamous other for at least five years shared IV needles, had trans blood products; OR

2. You have both been tested for HTLV-3 antibodies twice over a six-month period and have both received negative test results and haven't since been exposed.

The awakening of sex need not be, and should not be, a traumatic experience. We should not be weighed down with guilt so churches can claim us as their own sinners. Nor should we waste years of our lives de bating whether we should go "this" way or "that" way, follow what society dictates or what our inner natures distate.

Hardly anyone qua!ifies! Caring about your partner these days means protecting one another from re-exposure to the virus. Try new and safer ways of sexual expression. Use condoms if you have anal sex. Avoid Unsafe Sex.

Naturally these 94 pages can only expose the tip of the Iceberg. Everyone must join in this march to correct thousands of years of sex negative thinking. It is a long journey to change the culture of our history, but the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step; and the first step has already been taken.

°37 Safe Sex Calendar Csee Media)

Take care of one another. Take care of the commun ity. There is nothing you can do about the past. There is a great deal you can about the future.

The author wrote such a wonderful and needed book, I found it disturbing that he should include a fairly explicit description of having sex at the beach. He met the man moments earlier in a gay bar. They con cluded their evening having sex on the beach under a night sky illuminated only by the Milky Way. It was a one time fling. They never saw each other again. I couldn’t for the life of me accept the union as be ing a spiritual sign of God's acceptance regardless of what T felt was the author's attempt to make it appear to be so. Sex per se is not sin; not is all sex spiritual. Some of it is just having a darned good time. And there is nothing wrong with that.

he sun was high ahove as I raised to glance upward and it was an unusually hot late autumn day in south eastern Arizona. The bright sky was cloudless. Several buzzards were gliding effortlessly high above the distant hills. The only green to be seen were the many assorted cacti spread out over the desert floor. Everything else looked brown and near dead. I was alone in my little combination gas station, laundromat and mini-store. I stood silently wiping the sweat from my brow in the comparative coolness of the entryway. I was reading my latest issue of RFD, and suddenly, half a dozen motorcycles came roaring down the high way. They pulled in to the gas pumps in front of me. The riders were a boisterous lot, rough looking, talking loudly and profanely.

When all of the bikes had been serviced, their own ers climbed aboard them and wheeled off south into the desert. All but one--the boy had rolled his machine away from the others, nearer the laundromat area. He seemed to be having trouble with his starter or something. While he fussed with his motorcycle, one of the bikers circled back and shouted, "Hey kid, take care!" The kid waved back, looking up. He didn't move until the others were out o f sight and the roar of motors was beyond hearing. The boy's shoulders sagged as if a burden had been released. Dust and grease mixed with sweat stained his jeans and denim jacket.

I had a moment of apprehension. My mind flickered back to my youth, when I was free to ride my old hog down the highways of the southwest. Roy those were the days!

I noticed then, his straggly beard, his bright blue eyes, and his slender but well toned muscles. He turned, and briefly our eyes met. Emotion flickered across his lean face--doubt, longing, pain? He seemed to need, but to be somewhat shy without his friends around to boost his ego.

Except for my two dogs and the buzzards, no one else was in sight. I doubted if the bikers would respect my gray hairs, but they might respect my size. I'm a tall man about six foot two inches, weighing about a hundred and eighty pounds and still rock hard for a man of forty-two. Especially if they were intent on any mischief.

His lips slowly twitched as if he wanted to smile, but couldn't. Then he clamped them into a determined line. He reached into one of his saddle bags and pulled out a bunch of dirty clothes and proceeded to walk right past me into the laundry. I stepped aside to let him pass, turning. I watched his slender body head for a washer, my groin tingled a bit.

However, it seemed this bunch only wanted gas. While I took care of that, they went inside and stocked up on sodas and beer. A few bought other provisions for their run. One of them struck up a conversation and he said, "that they were headed into Mexico for a big party with several other clubs."

Moving outside, he washed and polished his big machine until it glistened in the sunlight, coming hack only to transfer his wet clothes to a dryer.

One of the riders, younger than the others--he looked no more than twenty or twenty-one underneath his cockiness and unkept blond hair--was the loudest and most vulgar of the lot. He strutted about with an air of machoism, as if to prove himself the toughest of the tough.

All the while I sat there reading my latest issue of RED, wishing that someone would answer my ad for com panionship or to be a pen-pal.

I wondered for a moment, what a boy of his youth was doing with this bunch of stinking misfits? Excite ment? Adventure? Companionship? At that moment, he glanced toward me and grew suddenly still, as if sudsuddenly aware of his crudeness. Leaning against the corner of my little oasis, he walked around the cor ner and was only gone for a short time.I I wondered, if he noticed my little garden and yard out back, filled with trees, shrubs and a vegetable garden, the pool, Jacuzzi and sauna. His eyes seemed to miss nothing, and he stood half staring at me; and I unnoticing, he thought.

Then, when his clothes were finally dry, he took them and disappeared into the men's room.

Twenty-five minutes later he emerged wearing the freshly washed clothing. His face was shaved, the whiskers gone and his hair neatly combed in a preppy sorta way. Handsome if ever handsome was, like a Greek god. He grinned in my direction, walked slowly to his bike, reached into his saddle bag and pulled out a magazine. He turned and walked up to me and said, "I'm here to answer your ad in this issue of RED."

Dear Friendf 5), 7 am originally from India. 7 am 35 years old. 7 have dank wavy hail, chocolate brown eyes, natur a lly tanned skin and a masculine appearance. i descni.be myself as a deep, sensitive, caning, and honest person. 7 am stable, dependable, reliable and capable oft giving and sacrifice. 1 am conscientious, hard-ioorking, motivated, goaloriented and driven. I dislike superficial, pretentious, and "syn thetic" people and their talk. 1 prefer people with depth and reality . 1 am a doctor (M.V.). In addition, I do research and teach. My life though busy is organized and 1 know how to prioritize it. My lover would be "numero uno." 7 enjoy literature, reading, music, art, theatre, ethnic foods and travel. I have not been athletic but do plan to get into a regular exercise schedule to maintain good health. 7 think 7 am attractive for an In dian but 7 am underlain about America. 7 am 5'10%", 175 lbs., best described as "academic"--the young university professor type. Sexually, 7 am Greek active, French passive. I am a combination of the East and West. I'd like to think 7 have assimilated the best of both, but 7 w ill le t you determine that. 7 seek a maa 20-40 who is wholesome and complementary to my Lite. 7 value honesty, sincerity, integrity, devotion and commitment. Education is important whether it is formal or self-provided.

RFD prints contact letters iree of charge. We also provide a free forwarding service for readers who wish to remain anonymous. Just give your address as "c/o RFD", and we will forward your mail. Of course, donations are always welcome! Please condense your letter to 200 words or less. Spelling and punctuations will be corrected as needed for clarity unless you specify otherwise. It helps to be positive in stating your in terests and preferences. Saying "no" to any particular trait or characteristic may unnecessarily offend a brother. The Brothers Behind Bars pen pal program is a separate ser vice provided for our readers to make contact with prisoners. You may want to write us for suggestions regarding writing to prisoners before responding to prisoner responses to your 1etters.

Let us place the relationship ahead of both of us. Nothing good in life comes easily or quickly. We must be wilting to make sacrifices fo r us. Please accept me the any 7 am, not the toay you toould rather have me or worse s t i l l like the xerox copy of some imaginary Mr. Perfect. 7 promise to accept you the way you are. Hassan P.0. Sox 14S2 Brookline, MA 02146 74

Vear RFVers, I am a rural, but not "back to the earth" reader. 7 had enough of the boonies for 20 years in the Marine Corps. 7 am now 50, in pretty good shape, and interested more in body piercinq and tattoos than in so il piercing. 7 have six of the former {right ear, both nipples, a pA and two frenums), and five of the la tter [USMC of the le ft bicep, an eagle on the le ft shoulder, a blue bird on the l e ft pectoral, a rain bow from the right shoulder to the right nipple, and a Sagittarius archer on the right shoulder). 7 would like more, especially in the genital area. Unlike most of the writers, 7 drink {beer and Scotch) and 7 smoke {Chesterfield Kings). 7 hope to hear from some of you other rural kinks. There must be someone else out there who is not pure. Siixcerely, Sob Knibbs p.O. Sox K rilmant,on, W 0323a

Vean RFP Brothers, Greetings from southern Mew Jersey, i live, in the rural area of MJ near Wilmington, Delaware. I'm a 45 yean old GU/M who Is looking for friends, companionship, and yes, mone if th at is possible. I'm honest, hand ivonking, caning and affection ate. My in te re sts: neading, the beach, flea mankets, th eater, music. T welcome Ileaning fnom others (letten s nathen than calls p lea se). Voun le tte n w ill be answered. Let's explore!! peace and Joy Skip Coney 22 Re.nson Ave. pen n sville, MJ 08070

Hello, My name, is Eric. T d n eatly tik e to correspond with men d o s e to my own age who seek honesty and kindness in a n elatio ns h ip. I'm 28, 6’ ta ll, and Weigh 142 lb s. My Genman an cestry has given me mu din ty blond hair and mustache and my grey/blue (bespectacles) eyes. Vm not ashamed of being in te lle c tu a l, because 7 enjoy getting physical too. My spin et needs a mixture of caneful thought and carefree laughten. 7 love to sing and play the piano, especially with othen musicians. I've also done some painting and have, wnitten a novel and sevenal plays. Manhattan was home fon a while, but V ve s.tnuck an uneasy balance in the subunbs (and am leaning towards the country). 7 have longed fon a loving friend since 7 was 16. Like evenyone, I ’ve been hunt, sometimes badly. 7 won’t be ccsed again, but 7 am ready to open up to a gen tle, genenouS soul. A good sense of humor and irony is neally appneciated, since 7 get kind of serious and anxious a t tim es. Tnendiness, ghetto li f e , and alcohol on dnug abuse don't in ten est me. Consis tency, community, and physical/ emotional health do. I'm disturbed by antcgancc and deceit., Hut 7 could love a modest, tru th fu l man fon the n est of my lif e . Enlc P.O. Box 533 Ho-Ho-Kus, MJ 07423

Enl-ends • Look fon me where the Rhododendnons and Hemlocks grow. Touch me. Bnlng me Tnlliums and da isies. Take my breath with you oven the mountain nidges and soan with me down into the va lleys. Swim with me in the pool of my in is. Whisper to me your hopes and dnearns. Warm me when the doled leaves one em bossed with fro st. 7 am 30, 6'3", 160 lb s ., blue eyes, hainy, tnim beand and moustache. 7 don't dnlnk. 7 am an independent minded professional. My in terests include c la ssica l music, gardening, hiking, camping, bicycle aiding, tennis, swimming, nefinishing old furniture, nomance and mone. 7 am looking to meet someone who enjoys being out of doors, doesn't smoke, has a tnim figure and is close to my age. Peace, Hope, and Inspiration, Bteven 478 South Logan Ave. Trenton, MJ OS629

VeaA RFr>OAA,

Plea se d o n 't s hon tchange i/ouns el f with the fact T'm 58 by the calen dar, because 7 look 38 and, fon the most pant, feel b etter and liv e mone. rich ly now than when 7 was IS. If you got yourself oven th at hurdle, here goes the nest: I'm white, 5 ’4", 145, cleanshaven, uncut, reasonably well-educated, w h ite-collar in a large corpora tion. Except fon onions, scallio n s, chives, drugs (including po t), drunkenness, excessive foul lan guage, bu llsh it, in sin cerity, d is honesty, pain, 7 can lik e anything IF you make me lik e i t . You can be white, black, yellow, green, on in betveen; ta ll on shont; cut on uncut; w ll-re a d or it l ite r a te ; rich on poor: old or young... none of that m atters, as tong as you are genuine, sincere, open, honest, a f fectionate, cheery, generally used to giving more than you demand. The ball is in youn count. George 852-59 US 1 Edison, MJ 0SS17-4669 (201) 287-4497

GAYELLOW BUSES

INFORMING THE G AY CO M M U N ITY SIN C E 1973 Accommodations. AA groups, bars, baths, book stores, businesses, counselors, dentists, doctors, hotels, lawyers, mail order, media, publications. Organizations, religious groups, services, social groups, switchboards, therapists, travel agents, etc . etc . etc (area codes & u p codes loo') USA & CANAOA J10

NEW YOBK/NEW JEBSEY S3 50; includes Manhattan tar notes & women s section SOUTHERN EDITION $3 50 Alabama. Arkansas, N S S Carolina. Florida. Georgia. Kansas. Ken tucky Louisiana, Mississippi Missouri. New Mexico. Oklahoma. Puerto Rico. Tennessee Texas. Virginia NORTHEAST EDITION S3 50; Connecticut Delaware District ol Columbia. Marne Maryland Massachusetts New Hampshire Ohio. Pennsyl vania Rhode island, Vermont. V/ Virginia SPARTACUS INTERNATIONAL GAY GUIDE lor men S20; The rest of the world does not include U SA or Canada men s coverage only Renaissance House Box 292IT VKage Station. NY. NY 10014 212-929-7720 AH books discreetly by first class mad your name kept strictly con fidential To kst a business or organization, or for further information, send stamped sett addressed business-size envelope Please contact us tor prices outside the USA In Canada, order from Glad Day Books. M B A Yonge St Toronto. Ontario M4Y 2A6 416-961-4161 (chock lor prices) Ask us about GayeAow Pages on mating labels1

HELLO new friend*! My name l* Ken and 7 am a matuxe CML ' I'm an attA actlve and young looking guy in my tfu A tie*. Being a frien dly, waxm, and caging pex*on; 7 am al*o AinceAe and nonett. 7 Aland 5’ 77" ta ll, with brown halx/eye*, and weigh 160 pound*. Hey Out Thexe, And, I'm Atxalght acting and ap pearing . fix tt thing** fix*t: i f o vex-fifty mxwA ovex-the-hill to you, Head 7 *eek new friend* fxom wheAeveA, no fuxthex. iox there i t no di*tance whexe good friend* axe concexned... After aJDC, S tilt with me? I'm Amall tom and we a ll need people, fxiend*, and auxal at heaxt, but xitlng taxet lo ve. .. and othex expente* have made, me a commutes. So i t ' 6 eight houx* a So, why not w xlte and le t'* begin daif in the city and the xett o f to gxow In new fxiend* hip th a t w ill the time xecupexatlng in up*tale hopefully be lo ttin g and 'A pecial’ ! Hew Voxk. when 7 'm not patching '’eak* in the xoof ok Acxapinq old Send you le tte x and plx and yo u 'll pa<nt, 7 find time to enjoy my*ell Mith reading, cooking, tl*tenlnq to receive mine — re a lly *oon! ruble, toxich<nq movie*. At? of that it pretty qood, but, of couxte, Keep Amiltng — keep Ahi.nlngl I t Mould be bettex *haxed... tike a to t o< other thing* *uch a* touch My coxing 6xiend*hip, ing, tauqking, loving. Antfhow, at Ken 5?. 5'10”, 155, 7 am keen to bung P.0. Box 42392 tho*e otheA thing* into my life . PittAbuxgh, PA 15203 7 w ould at*o tik e to hear fxom otheA "otdeA b roth er*" a b ou t how th e y axe g e ttin g by. 8le**ing*,

Ron o $ Up*tate MV !o RFri

'HI' GUVS! I'm Vanny, a HOT 20-yeax-old (M i. Looking to meet*ome new friend* fxom a lt ovex the countxy. 7 enjoy travelin g and meeting neu) guy*. And, you guy* axe welcome to v i* it me hexe in the nation'* #7 c ity - - PITTSBURGH! Let me heax fxom you Intexe* ted guy* out thexe RIAL SOON! Send me a photo of youxtWJ and mine w ill be out to you to o ! Vou won' t be dl*appointed - txu*t me! Let'* be <5xiend*, guy*! Luv and friend* hip, Vanny P.0. Box 3614 Pltt&buxgh, PA 7523(7

Veax Fellow RFV Readext, 7 am looking fax Aomeone to help me operate my *mall oxganlc farm. I t i t a nice place in a beautiful paxt 0(5 PA. 7 have been f axming oxganlc a lly fax a livin g and a* a llf e *t.yle box 25 year*. j have quite a bet 0(5 knowledge to *haxe. Thexe i t a lo t 0(5 tooxk to do hexe. Vay* axe lonq, but i \5 you lik e to woxk and accompli*h thing*, i t i t fun. Spen ding evexydau with * o il, plant*, animal*, and the weathex i t a xeal adventure! The fie ld ivoxk hexe i t done with the help of my team of pexchexin hox*e*, and thexe axe 5 athex Aiding and driving hoxtet, 100 tailing hen*, and a few pig*. In Aummer, thexe i t a Faxmex'i Maxket in toim on Fxlday* whexe 7 * e ll vegetable*, ftowext, and egg*. A* tax mu* elf, 7’m 45 ijeax* old, a quiet pexton loho enjoy* reading, drawing, painting, mu*ic, hoxteback xidinq and dxivinq, and AinceAe companion*hip. If you xead thi* and axe intexe* ted in getting to know moxe about a ll th i*, pi eat e wxlte. Edwaxd of PA d o RFV 76

I'm a txim, ta ll, and handtome 30 yeax old man looking fox a halxy and hutky matculine xuxal companion who Ahaxet *ome Aimilax lik e * and ideal*. I enjoy the ouidooxt, boating, and long *en*ual flx etid e encountex*. I don't dxlnk ox u*e dxug*, am p o litic a lly Aomewhexe between a Vemocxat and S o c ia litt, and enjoy mu*lc fxom Baez to S ib eliu i. I have, and appxeclate, a good *ente of humox, and am moxe than w illin g to *haxe in any week end woxk th a t need* doing. I ’m not in to garnet, but do have an attxactlon towaxdt active dominant Atocky men, 35 and oldex with thick coat* of body halx to keep me waxm on tho*e cold wlntex n lte t. Cu a xen tly an uxban dwellex, but fxee fox weekend v i t i t t . Hope to heax fxom you *oon. Vavld of Philadelphia d o RFV

Veax God 01' Countxy Boy* Evexywhexe: 7 xetlde in a *mall f i t king villag e *n Aouthexn Maxyland. I have clo*ed my l i t t l e countxy Atoxe and am txying my hand a t executive wxit*ng. I would welcome lettex * fxom otheA beginning wxltext and etta b lith ed authox*. 7 am alto a pxofetAlonal photo grapher and have * et up a Amatl Atudio in an old Amoke hou*e on my pxopexty. A* a photographer, I am vexy In texe* ted in the cuxxent bonanza of male "pin-up" calendax* flooding the maxket today. College Atudentt, * AAemen, and even policemen axe poAing and gettin g in on the action. 7 am qoinq to pxoduce the f lx t t Kasai Men ox Countxy Bog* male calendax, mainly a*^a fund x a iting pro ject fox gay centext and chaxltce*. I need input In the foxm of lettex * , and photo* fxom a ll of you hand*ome, mutculax countxy *tud* out thexe in RFV land.' vlea*e wxlte a* *oon~d* poAAible and enclo*e youx photo*, a-* Atxlpped down and a* "baxe" at the law w ill allow. I want to get Ataxted at' *oon at po**ible. All lettex* w ill be an&wexed and a ll youx photo& w ill be xetuxned. Hang" in thexe and thank*, Lexoy T. Gxay of Maxyland c/o RFT)

Vean RFV Family, In August I purchased 9.5 acres of land adjoining Running Water's property on the eastern line {from Pinnacle Point eastward). My de sire has been to subdivide this in to 4 equal parcels of 2.35 acres to create an extension of the Run iting Water family here on the Hi! mountain. At this point there are 3 of us committed to this land and I'm a GWM living in Fredericksburg, me are seeking a fourth person to l/A. I'm 28, 6'3", and have, dark buy the fourth parcel. brown hair and hazel eyes. I'm very lonely being that. I live in a Some information about the land small. tom area and i t '6 hard to i t has a southern and southeastern locate others like myself. exposure, is heavily wooded mf hard-moods, ranges from rolling to I'm basically a thy person, but I'm steep terrain, has wonderful, views also loving, sincere, and caning. of hit. Mitchell and the surround I can and m ill be a good friend to ing ridges, and is quiet and very those mho m ill le t me. I'm in isolated from the closest neigh tercepted in guys 18-35 that axe lov bors. Over 30 years ago, the ing and m ill express thelx feelings ivas used for farming (corn and band (don't mind hugging and kissing). wheat) so I expect that the soil But any mho are not into that I Is good for gardening. understand. The cost os this parcel Is $2900 I mould like to hear from and meet which Includes the land at $1200 any guys living in Fredericksburg on per acre the closing the surrounding area. But I melcome costs fromandthish ofsummer's hearing from a ll. Please give me a In purchasing the parcel purchase. you try and I m ill te ll you a ll my in mould also be milting to contri terests and anything you mant to bute h of the road and mater knom. development costs as well as your share of the re-survey and deed B ill Saunders of Virginia costs when the jxircei is divided c/o RFV into 4 parts. From my estimates with the local road builder, mater systems supplier, and lawyer, these costs should fa ll between $1500 to $1700 per person. So, i f you are Interested you-should plan on being able to spend around 64500. Those mho have looked at land before m ill realize that this Is a quite reasonable price! I am sure that most of you mho are Interested mould like to come v is it the land and speak with me for more information. I mould love to hear from you!. If you have been malting to be closer to Running Water this is perhaps the opportunity you have been malting for. Big Hugs, I ’m a GWM, 48, living in rural WV. I'm lonely as I don't have a lover. John of MC I love good gentle sex. Have much d o RFV love to give. I'm honest, sincere, and loving. I'd love to hear fnom like-minded brothers. I need your friendship and me'11 see what else m ill develop fnom there. I m ill ansmex a ll mho mnlte. Mason Crosier Rt. 81, Box 12 Ballard, WV 24918 77

The School For Gentle Hands Is a realitu In Atlanta. Classes in traditional Chinese medicine and acupressure and Motive American medicine are being taught here. Mow me need a medical botanist (or eager student) mho is milling to ta^e the 75 to 100 herbs here and propagate them Into a monastery garden. The gardener-herbalist-botanist can also turn the culinary-medi cinal herbs into a business this year. The name of this enterprise Is "One Straw" and is based in part on the ideas found in the book The One Straiv Revolution. Write to: Crazy Oiol The School For Gentle Hands 2304 Flat Shoals Rd. Atlanta, GA 30316 or phone (404) 243-8787

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Vear R-FV Reader, Is there someone out thaw who is wetting to commit himself to a Lifetime monogamou4 relationship with a 4tocky, cuddly, honest, lov ing and eating middle aged man? My name i t Bob, 48 yearn young, 5'9" ta ll, btown thinning halt and big btown eyes. I live in the mid-key6 area of the Florida Keys where it. i t summer a ll yean long, i oivn my own home and work to live instead of live to wotk. Tt would be great to 4hate this paradise environment wi th a younger man who enjoys the security and experience of a mature mate. The pace here it laid-back and easy going. If someone would like to join me in this holdout feom the pressures of the te st of the country please write and le t's explore the p ois ib ilitie s . A photo would be nice. Bob of the Florida Keys c/o RFV

Dear RFVers, I've 6 ec»i a participant in RFV fer quite a few years now and I feet certain i t has helped to change my life . I'm presently experiencing some of the most exciting days of, mu life . However, I s t i l t have hope of finding or being found by that someone special to share i t a lt with — perhaps someone reading this tetter r ig h t now! My interests center heavily around good vibrant health and i t is my belief that we do become what we eat, think, and express in our daily lives. I'm 56, a Cancer, 5' H'z", 170*, greying beard and mustache, blue eyes, a shiny bald head - people say I get younger every day. Things of inter est are health, good nutrition, some exercise (yoga - swimming - bike), astrology, ivorking in a field that one truly enjoys, loving the self which in turn allows us to really love and accept a ll others as they are. I also like to cook, preserve food, read, write, make love, and

find neiv ways to live the simpler life without, ignoring th is very complex world around us. I also do astrological, charts - please write for more information, w ill answer a ll who write. Vaniel P. 0. Box 553 Miami Beach, FL 33139

Dear Fellow Sojourners, By the time this issue is in your hands, I w ill have rejoined my spouse and best friend, Kenneth, on the Cumberland Plateau in Tenn. I'm currently putting in overtime with a big corporation in the big peach (Atlanta), which w ill la st un til ju st before Christmas. We are seeking friends around Mor gan, Fentress, and Scott counties in Tenn. being rather isolated and with out -the support of close-by compan ions. We're in our early th irtie s. Kenneth raises feeder pigs for a liv in g , and I 'l l be starting a small publishing business venture, for which I ’m sticking to my present grind for a few more weeks. s its I'm slim, active, and have a large Our part-house/part.-trailer meadows, hay fields, and pas and versatile sexual appetite. I ’m amid by pine and hard creative, a performer, and 40. I'm tures, - surrounded about 50 acres in a ll. The searching for a housemate/soulmate woods and closest neighbors are maybe lover. The rent is free. I mailbox can teach country living sk ills and about a half-mile away, out of sight. even money making crafts, and i f he Kenneth loas raised near Chicago, but can act and learn puppetry, I think spent vacations at. White Pines (the he could make my arts grant fly in property). He is an accomplished to a successful touring business pianist, with particular in te rst in that would show us the state (TV) from the 30's and 40'S, jazz, and make us fun and money too. M l music swing, etc. Our musical tastes are this and a country home. both eclectic, though, and between us we have a small but diverse I live in the deep stix about 2 bunch of records and tapes. We like miles (by foot.) from the Short Mountain Sanctuary in a hoase that home videos, too. Loo of us built and one is very, I'm interested in nearly everything, very lonely in. The Looter is hand- but I concentrate a lo t on garden pumped from a deep well, the lights ing of all. kinds and plants of a ll are o il lamps and candles. The kinds, mostly from reading about truck supplies electricity for these subjects and observation. I radio and some TV. am making some progress in hands-on though, doing a l i t t l e I would like someone who can create experience each year. I love herbs, wild with me and/or on their own. Some more plants, and foraging. I also cook one physically f i t and trim. Who the food we raise, most of the time. is active and not afraid of heavy disiitf work (cleaning the coop, We are open to acquaintances of any gardening, etc . ). Race, is no ob sex, sexual persuasion, or taste; ject; I'm attracted to dark skin hope to find at lea st one or two and white teeth - a well hung with enough common interest lover would be. nice, one who has a tofriends become close. We're not looking large appetite and is active, ver for additional sexual forays, nor sa tile, and safe, but a companion for correspondence with those not w ill do i f there is no magic. close enough to exchange - at least Make arrangements to come and v is it on occasion - v isits. for a spell. This place is beauti Get in touch i f you're near by, and ful but secluded. The upkeep work this winter come s i t by the woodincluding the gardens is in terest stove, sip some raspberry patch or ing, active, and varied. There is russian tea, nibble on some cherryan indoor to ile t and bathing room nut loaf and share the s p ir it to w ith sauna p o ssib ilities, also an keep us icarm. outdoor sweat lodge in the "ritual garden." Please no cigarettes. Happy dream-building, Gregory Richard Ghumleu of Tenn. Rt. 1, Box 121-A c/o RFV Liberty, TV 37(795 78

Vear PFV Readers: My name is William Lee and I'm realty having problems trying to te ll my mother I ’m a homosexual. I wonder how I could go about t e ll ing her as simply as I can. A lo t of people that work around me know I ’m gay. I read an article about a guy who wanted to know what goes on in a teenager's life and mind i f they are gay. I can te ll you. They look for some type of security and they look for lovers such as I. I can’t help i t because I lose so many. I ’m glad I can write to the public and le t them know how I feel and also to le t other teen agers that are out there know that they are not alone. Just write people i f you can't talk about it. I ’m also looking for pen pals and new friends. Please wrx te <f you are either a friend or a concerned person. Love Always, William Joseph Lee 246 Banham Rd. Locust Cottage Cincinnati, OH 45215

Vear RFV’ers, After years o f work I've cached my goal of self-relia n t country living with the freedom to travel. Como, s pAing I M ill plant a m a ll garden and make travel plans to v is it friends and k it the antique flea markets [a means of support). Al though my innocence disappeared token I became sexually aware, my desires for Intimacy and nurturance are strong. Patience, honesty, and a connection with the earth enhance my need to play and examine my re lationships. I would like to hear from others truly interested in a rural, life s ty le and desiring a re lationship developed on caring and tru st. I ’m 41, 5’ 11", 155#, healthy and energetic with a tide variety of talents and interests, especially a desire to share. With care, Johnni G. Looking for a companion to travel Rt. 1 Box 988 with me to see parts of the USA and Liberty, TV 37095 also planning a trip to Europe in Summer of '87. Ohio Traveler Having a city c/o RFV attack?

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For Free Info Send SASE To: Rt. 9, Box 145 Rogers ville, TN 37857 Or Call Lee at 615 272-4068

Vear Traveler: We have a small house near 1-24 as i t crosses the mountain near Honteagle, Tennessee. Tioo miles from the Holiday Inn at the University of the South, Sewanee-Monteaqle exit. We offer Bed 6 Breakfast in our home for a smalt fee. If you’re traveling between Nashville and Chattanooga in our area, plan to stop overnight or drop by for toffee. Write: Jim Gipson 8 B ill Strong Boxwood Cottage Midway Road Sewanee, TV 37375 /

I ’m a lonely 35 year old male look ing for companionship and a possible relationship. I ’m 6’, 180#, s e lf em ployed, discrete and honest. Enjoy travel, movies, and Quiet times at home. Very loving and caring. Race is no barri.er. Pleate send photo and phone number. Ken of Central Ohio c/o RFV ,------------------------------------ 1

j AMONG I FRIENDS I j I

A MONTHLY JOURNAL OF RESOURCES AND NETWORKS FOR THE LESBIAN AND GAY COMMUNITIES OF IOWA, MINNESOTA, AND WISCONSIN

I am a very lonely chubby chaser. I (oo-i born in 1933, a white male, 180 pounds, about 6’. My mom was from Asheville, VC, part English, Scotch, and Irish. My dad was from Chicago and is unknown to me. As far back as I can remember, my fir s t liking was cherubs Such as seen in Michelangelo’s art. I saw them carved on antique furniture, buildings, and on sheet music covers. Then in 1966 I sate the real, human masterpiece in a news photo but he teas already dead. Can you help? It must be permanent no one nighters, so cialites, or snobs. Just a quiet, reclusive, self-styled 300 lb. young man, hopefully a hobbist, maybe in te r ested in historical Americana, mechanical things, music. If you feel you look like this or know someone who does, write to: Vonnie 235 East Calvert St. South Bend, IN 46613

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Hello Brothers, Having been c ity hoik most oh o u a lives, we've had o u a h ill oh i t . We've acquired many helphul talents in our working yeaAS and would like to take -them to a harm setting and make a more quiet natural life sty le. My companion (not lover) and Hi guys, we’re Hocking for fniendI would like to share o u a sk ills oh s hips thru le tte r minting S hopeful building, maintenance, and farming meetings. We’re. on our 22nd year now. chores in exchange for room and '"’e're in our 40 - SO year ages. We board. We are hard working, enerare looking {on hornet, sincere. f r i getic, and inspiring for those who ends - no drugs, pot, don't need have nee.d of labor and friendship that to tuAn us on. We raise, can, on their farm, ranch, ect. Our ta and freeze a ll o u a own produce. We include fencing, decking, raised flowers hoA extra funds f< did lents electrical, plumbing, painting, quite well. We love camping, canoe sheetrocking, gardening, ing, skinny dipping wheAe we can and laying cement, roofing, and much more. RFV do love being nude wheAe we can. We Is new to us and we find i t has o u a aAe faithful in o u a letter m i ting. kind of people in i t . We would like We each have AegulaA jobs. Have a to meet other brothers like our i olaA gAeenhouse and do all o u a own selves, so don't be shy. If your carpentry, electrical and plumbing interests are oar's please write, work. We we*e raised on farms, so i f we would like to hear from you. anyone out there needs tips on soil building, crop rotation, ca ttle, <owl, ect., please write 6 we’ll try B ill Westioood Motel to help you. We have no color, race, c/o 2108 Fort Riley 8Ivd. #1 or sex prejudices, like a ll people, Manhattan, KS 66502 and attend our local MCC. We recom mend i t very highly - it w ill help your life . We have so much to give to you hoiks out there, Oua home is Dear Friends, open to travelers on weekends I ’ve fin a lly found the treasure map please m ite tfirst. (■ RFV) which can lead me to the treasure (you) I ’ve been seeking Art 6 Paul since I came out. Friends whose 10360 Concord School Rd. new-age, natural life sty le s are St. Louis, MO 63128 ju st that and not the la test trend to follow. I'm considered strange by the fairies in Houston because of my new-age beliefs, life s ty le , and musical. Interests. I'm seeking happy fairies who en joy life ; even though they are aivare of the changes that, need to be made in this world. People who enjoy people, animals, and the magic of everyday life . Vear RFVers: 7 enjoy a variety of music (rock, T am a happy loner, a professional new-age, electronic/instrumental, °* mid 40 ’s, ju st recently moved earth music, and dance music). I ’m to this small town from an unreioarinto massage and am very casual. 7 ding [love, social, and work) l i f e enjoy and have fun with the in style in the big cite. I am eager to security of life and am s t i l l grow correspond with like-minded brothers ing out of my childhood tapes and 7 o4 any aqe or ethnic background who aianf to do i t In the company of ate people-centered, open minded and your friendship while working enjoy writing. Short stories, erotic towards a more peaceful planet and fantasy and nude photography are a life sty le . hew oh my interests. 1 would be veAy pleased to respond to anybody out I'm single, 24, 5'8", 160 lbs., there who might like to establish have dark hair and moustache, brum contact. eyes, honest, sincere, sensitive, loving, and gentle. And I'm so Sincerely, glad I fin a lly found you. Rod Macintosh Oscar P. 0. Box 582 c/o 430 Artesian Plz. Vr. Poplar Bluff, MO 63901 Humble, TX 11338 80

Goodlooking, dom to earth country western man, 53, retired, 6'3", 185 lb s., brown hair/blue eyes, honest, quiet, sincere, non-smoker/drinker, e tc ., seeks pardner about the same, my age or younger to share quiet country life . Lots of opportunity for someone who wants to get back to basics - can garden - veg., flowers, and fru it and livestock, have lots of water. 7 have lots of interests: Art, Western, A rti facts, Reading, Aviculture, Horti culture, Aachaeology, prefer Class ica-l - easy listening music. No phone. Recent photo please and le tie r with likes and dislikes and what you're looking for in a relationship. Sincerely, Von Hatcher of Texas c/o RFV

- Colorado Homestead Hi! As you read th is, I'm somewhere in Thailand completing an around the worl.d trek; eager to s e ttle in the San Juan Mountains of southwest Colorado permanently by Spring/ Summer. I ’d like to hear from you i f you'd like a new friend or per haps a potential relationship later. I t ’s taken me quite a while to de cide where to live. Vou’d love the mountains, scenic beauty, sports, mild climate among a feiv others. Pagosa Springs area is also beauti ful, lots of potential. 7 plan to build a log home, clear land to grow things and would love to do i t with someone. I t could be a place where you could come visit, i f you a-re already settled . But beware, I want to leam to play the banjo, ha ha. I ’l l supply the ear plugs! If you'd like a neic friend or are in terested in more, please write. I'm 33, 5' 9", 160 lb s., br/bedroom blue eyes, a Libra, romantic but rather shy. Please take a chance. Greg Raymond c/o 216 South Washington St. Venver, CO 80209

My Interests Include mythology, languages, Mature, hiking, organic/ alternative life sty le s. I teach aerobic dance/fitness, love to swim, and do weights. My life cen ters around spiritual matters and I also have been regularly prac tising Yoga and TM for 5 years. I'm a vegetarian and also rather heterophobic. There are not many guys here who understand my In ten sity concerning Gaysplrlt., Pride, growth of Gay Consciousness. Am so cia list/left-o rien ted and would lik e to know about radical Gay men's collectives, gatherings, etc. I use no alcohol or druqs, but Un spite of being an aerobics fanatic and jogger) smoke cigarettes!! In Gay Pride and Love, Tim VentuA 650 South Cohran #5 Los Angeles, CA 90036

Dear Reader : I am a GWM Living In southeast Ari zona on the old Mexican border. My hair Is dark brown, my eyes hazel, and I often wear a -trim dark beard and mustache. LaAt July ['86) I turned 30, stand 6'1”, weigh 235 £6-6., and aw good looking and bright (Mensa wewbeA and a ll) . Douglas Ia a m a ll town of 14,000 and 7 make I t to tucson fan week end-6. SplA ltualtty, psychology, eclectic reading, small social gatheAlngs, music, and movlew aAe top on my l i s t of Interests. Quiet, times at home Interest me more than baas and cU a c o s . Traveling In Mexico Is fun. Intermediate goal: Arizona and out-of-state friendships. Long term: finding the right man for a dynamic, grab-the-brass-ring relationship. You are roughly In my age group, say from about 25 to about 35, and either match or complement my In terests. If you look like Scot Madsen, fine; I f not, don’t ivorry about I t. You are casual and have the jole de vlvre to be out even In a small 1950's type town. You are non-soclopathlc, but o Ia o non- Dear Travelling Brothers : accultuAated. Again I open my home to men passing through or visiting northern If you feel a spark here, fan I t California this winter or spring. Into a flame by writing to: I'm a good cook, te r r ific tour guide, fabulous dancer, sensual, J. Christopher Robin Reed masseur, and warm cuddler. P.0. Box 1132 Douglas, AZ 85608 I'm a GWM, tall., trim, attractive, 30's, bearded, healthy, non-smoker, affectionate, honest, sense of humor, easy going, down-to-earth personality, spiritual conscious ness. Dear. Brothers: Can accomodate similar man up to a week or so, providing he's not Into drugs, booze, S6M, or an exI am a young Gay man who loves the g ift of being Gay. Exploring the prlsoner. I would appreciate a history of Gay Consciousness and le tte r an photo at least 3 we,eks prior to your arrival.. A special Its diverse emanations fascinates me. I believe Eacrl.es are endowed welcome to European brothers with a special, unique awareness visiting the USA. and Insight. and that our state of being, spiritually, Is one of un Bon Voyage! bounded freedom. Our gentleness, creativity, and role as conductors Joseph of healing and lig h t are precious P.0. Box 640444 g ifts. San ERanclsco, CA 94164 81

Aloha Country Hunks Everywhere! This hunky Kona carpenter would like to share his paradise, estate with one or more attractive, masculine men Into hard toork, healthy fun, and a ll the qood things In life . Live In my two-story rounA home, just, two short blocks from a secluded black pebble and sand beach, while we work and play In the Sun. Learn a ll types of home construc tion, from design to framing to finish cabinet work - making cash on nearby projects and helping me finish the round house In exchange for being here. Start a home business, go windsurfing, swim ming, and help me harvest the fruits of this sunny southwest coast of the Island of Hawaii. At. a very young 40, well built., energetlc, a ttra ctive, po sitive, creative, Into culture, dance, art, music, live foods, vegetarianism, swimming, Sa lt boarding, I'm roman tic , versatile, and very attracted to muscular, attra ctive, romantic younger men who are ready to care and love. Are you ready for all th is, send a photo, please, a big plus for blonds, but a ll masculine men w ill be answered. And yes, I'm ready for a one-on-one with the right man! Joseph P,0. Box 1789 Keatakekua, HI 96750

NURTURING NEWS m ,7 The Quarterly For Nurturing Men

“One of the m ost vital sources of both information and sub stantive perspectives for any one concerned with m en's changing roles." Dr Joseph H. Plech W h e a t o n C o lle g e , M A Fall, 1986 S p e c ia l I s s u e “T h e M e n 's M o v e m e n t R e v is it e d ’’ R a n d y H ilfm a n , G u e s t E d ito r $5 0 0 pet c o p y

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Eon 15 years 7've been involved In non-violent social change. The la st 3 years have been In non-in tervention In Central America (Pledge of Resistance) and gay nights (stopping anti-gay I lesbian In itia tives, etc.). I'm also a pre-school teacher; knowing how we help children grow w ill Influence what kind of world we a ll w ill share. 71 also keeps me playful (sm ile). Recently, 7 joined the newly-formed gay men's soccer team in Seattle. Keeping a balance In my life is really Important. Though I ’m an a ctivist, 7 don’t lik e going to meetings a ll the time. I'm quest ing to be the most effective In what 7 do, while enjoying the present as much as possible. Everyone is welcomed to reply. Towards Love, Michael Slptroth (Firefly) 1425 East Prospect *5 Seattle, WA 98112 1206) 323-3007

man who might be right for me should be Interested, 7 would like to try. 7 am a 66 year old re tired GWM. I keep busy with moreor-less Intellectual pursuits and puttering about my place. At least once a week 7 go to town to shop, etc. On Sundays, 7 usually go to the beach or v is it friends. young man 6caking a home - a place Though my yard is not large, 7 find on a small ranch on suburb. Nothing myself with more yard- and house May out on wild a* 1 am a simple, work than I can keep up with. My everyday pennon. I'm a cook and need is far a reliable man, younger baker by trade, but miss the counand more energetic than 7, to make tAy immensely. I aw 40, non-smoker minor repairs to the house, care and drinker. Like to be buty. Love far the grass and flowers, perhaps ganden Monk. 7 at&o can and tike make a vegetable garden, keep the yand and floMen Monk. Like a place house clean, cook, and be good com Mhene 7 can feed the chickens, pany. (Being good company may very ducks, and maybe a com on two. Like well Include sex.) 7 can't offer a to have dinner ready ion him Mhen competitive salary. I offer a room he is neady. I am veny much a bot with its own entrance and bath, tom. Want to please him. Like p ri board, and a monthly salary far vacy and a Melt appreciative man. 7 Incidentals. Mill do my best. My place is In the mountains about Ron Peacock five miles from town. 7 liv e com 1734 NE Holsey fortably but simply. 7 have hypo Pontland, OR 97232 glycemia and am therefore careful about my diet. 7 exercise to keep <it. 7 don't use recreational Ve.ar RFV brothers, drugs and don't permit them on my property. 7'd prefer a nondrinker We are a gay couple, Mikael who is nonsmoker, but would not be ^ ff, Swedish, and Francisco who is Span and adamant on those points I f other ish, 30 and 40 years old respective REV Enlends, considerations outweigh them. My ly . companion should be someone who Have enjoyed REV fan many yean,; likes people but who does not de We lived together for 7 years In lots of good men doing good things pend on the presence of other peo Stockholm (Sweden) and since 1984 with their lives - me too. ple to make him happy. Speaking we have been living In Barcelona Spanish would be an asset. Know (Spain). I m Interested in contacting gay ing how to raise ducks and geese men near the Seattle area Mho are We have ahoays lived In big c itie s, would, too. Situation-seeking on situated In but cue are getting more and more the country. 7 grew up in the 7 addition to my house and yard, 7 fed up with urban life and we want Pocono Mts. oh eastern Penn. Be have 2k acres of land planted with to live In touch with nature. ing tired of, the winters and big coffee and fru it. A neighbor takes city "living" (Philadelphia), 7 ne- We w ill v is it the States in 1987 care of that property far me. From located to Seattle. 7t 's a great my own trees 7 have In season avo and ice coould like to stay in a farm place to liv e , but 7 miss the cados, bananas, breadfruit, guanacommune together with Gay country. 7 have a special fondness or bana, grapefruit, limes, and brothers, toork and learn any kind for the combination of mountains, oranges. Wild ginger and various of job, except k ill animals. coast, and rural-farming. 7 might tropical vegetables grow wild on my consider moving to a mrmer c li land. 7 cannot drink coffee, but Are there any farmers or communes mate, but have good relationships i t is here, though not yet In that ivould like to drop us a line? here. 7 am thinking of a trip to abundance. New Zealand, any contacts? Hugs, 11< anyone is Interested in this I ’m a GWM, 35, 5 ' 7", 130 lb s., Mikael Frolund 8 Francisco Rodriguez situation, 7 would welcome a long brown hair and eyes and am hairy. self-revealing le tte r and a recent Arago 227, 4rt. Have a significant other, we've photograph. I ’m not looking for E-08807 Barcelona ahoays had a "circle” of friends. penpals, but w ill reply to a ll In SPA7N Unfortunately, he's determined to terested persons and w ill return live in S eattle• 7 have a special photographs. 7 w ill enter Into cor fondness for chickens, ivould like respondence with those whose letters to live with these, maybe goats Interest me and w ill send my photo and one on more good men (women graph at an appropriate point. and 7 get along fine, too). My Tear RFVers, spiritual needs are mostly sa tis In Gay Love, fied by gardening and walking, but 1 have lived alone for so long that 7 like participating with other 7 do not know whether 7 can adjust Glenn of Puerto Rico beings too. to sharing again or not. But I f a d o RFV 82

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Reviews, G raphics

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