RFD Issue 56 Winter 1988 by RFD Magazine Gay

C o x v £CT)V6 The goats bleat, chickens cackle, and Taffy (our tom turkey) puffs up indignantly as our caravan enters Short Mountain Sanctuary bringing HFD to Tennessee from North Carolina. Our colorful crew begins to discover that Ron Lambe was do ing the work of at least six people. And we wonder, as Ron emits a sigh, how he managed to put out issue after delight ful issue. As a group, hands joined in a circle, we toss the I Ching coins to see what the more hidden powers have in store for this new venture. #19 -"Approach" or "Promotion"- a time for positive advancement toward attainment of goals; like the new vitality that issues forth in springtime; the sprouting of new shoots and their promise of future rewards. A soothing smile warms our circle. Now that we, the Short Mountain Collective, will be publish ing RPD, we'd like to tell you about us and how RFD will and won't change. Short Mountain Sanctuary is a Faerie community in central Tennessee. The residents live a simple/fanciful/ magical existence (without electricity) while learning to live on and from this beautiful land and its spirits. Pub lishing RFD is exciting for us, as we have so many creative individuals who are part of our larger community, and we have been close friends with RFD for many years. The jour nal's importance to so many people, many of whom visit us at Short Mountain, inspire us to nurture and develop it as an industry of our community. We're going to attempt publication and mailing time for the equinoxes and solstices and return it to a slightly more "country" focus. It will remain reader-written in its usual patchwork quilt appearance. We need your feedback, so please write to us and let us know how we're doing. Your comments and contributions, both literary and monetary, are RFD! We also acknowledge our responsibility to all our readers, whether or not they identify with the Faerie community. The Collective is technically and legally a separate entity from Short Moun tain Sanctuary, but you'll probably sense a smudge of glitter between the lines of each issue. No radical changes planned. Finances are particularly tough with the move to Tennessee and may remain so for some time. Consequently, we are look ing for a financial sponsor for the prisoner program so that it might continue. We must cut back to one free issue for each contributor, sending extras only on request. Many thanks to those who send extra dollars with their subscrip tion fee. Readers who contribute *50, as our gift of thanks, will receive an RFD T-shirt or can choose instead the book New Men, New Minds, ed. by Franklin Abbott. Contributions of S75 get both (see details in ad). A word about the Spring/Summer issue # 54. Each one year subscription to RFD consists of 4 seperate issues. Although issue # 54 covered two time periods it is not considered a double issue. Every subscriber will receive their 4 issues. Our best wishes for good luck, health and joy go to Ron, who may now have time for his new endeavors. His efforts have made this "country journal" a shining star in the lives of "gay men everywhere". With love and appreciation we offer RFD a new mountain home. S'KftflT "TVloiirvTa\a. C o v v i C T i Y £

RFD is a reader-written jour nal for gay men which focuses on country living and en courages alternative life styles. Articles often ex plore the building of a sense of community, radical faerie consciousness, the caring for the environment, as well as sharing gay men's experiences sharing gay men's experiences. Editorship responsibility is shared between the Department Editors and the Managing Edi tors. The business and general production is centered at Short Mountain Sanctuary in rural middle Tennessee. Fea tures are often prepared in various places by different groups. RFD (ISSN 0149-709X) is published quarterly for $15 per year by Short Mountain Collective, Rt. 1, Box 84A, Liberty, TN 37095. Second class postage is paid at Liberty, TN and additional mailing offices. Postmaster: send address changes to RFD PO Box 68, Liberty, TN 37^95 ISSN # 0149-709X USPS # 073-010-00 Non-profit tax exempt status under #23-7199134 as a func tion of Gay Community Social Services, Seattle Washington. MEMBER: CCLM (Coordinating Council of Literary Magazines) COSMPE (The International Assoc, of Independent Publishers) IGLA (Int'l Gay & Lesbian Assoc. ) INDEXED by Alternative Press Media PO Box 33109 Baltimore, MD 21218

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Elias Aaidon.......... 22 Pat Bar low................>7 Chief Dan George......... 23 Chief Seattle......... 23,42 Terry Del iaont........... 31 Brent J. Derowitsch.......18 Paul DuBois.............. 40 Clere Englebert.......... 26 Donald Engstroa.......... BC Steven Finch....... ..... '6 Kelly Fissi 11............ 57 Kevin Gerard...... inside BC Charles E. Hall, Ph.D .... 45 P. Haiier, Jr.............15 Michael Hathaway..........17 .......................... '7 Walton Hughes............ 59 Bangs Johnston........... 48 Robert Kaplan.............16 Robyn Kev 1in............. 20 Rudy Kikel............... 14 H. Koon............ 58 George Koschei........... 27 Raymond R. Lathaa........ 54 Dickie Lee.......... 6,62,63 Scott Luscoabe........... 59 Paul Maier............... 24 Dan Mason....... 39,41,44,48 V O L U N T E E R D E P A R T M E N T E D IT O R S Buddy May................ 49 Michele............... 22,50 Sister Missionary Position65 Moonhawk..................10 Bros. Behind Bars: Len Richardson, OR T. Neblett................'5 Fara and Garden: Scott Luscoabe, NY Jack Nichols............. 30 Gatherings: Heraan Struapf, OH Stuart Noraan.............12 Kitchen Queen: Buddy May, TN Carolyn Reuben........... 42 Lunar Calendar: Moonhawk, TN Elizabeth Roberts........ 22 Poetry: Steven Riel, MA Raphael Sabatini......... 56 Politics: Stuart Noraan, CA Assotto Saint.............. '8 Spirituality: Paul Maier, Scare Crow............... 44 Douglas Schuch........... 20 Hi lie 1 Schwartz...........15 Williaa Shepardson....... 50 Production this Issue: Mark Skinner............. 33 Short Mountain Collective Lee Steenhuis..............' C r e d i t O m i s s i o n s Heraan Struapf............ 8 Front Cover Designâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; i n **5 5 Michael Swift............ 56 o f A r t i s t s Michele L. E. Wi Ison. ............. 17 Photo by Sr. Missionary Raven Wolfdancer......... 38 Alladres, 53 Position Philip Wordsaith..........17 Carl Vaughn Erick, 18 John Zaluski........ .....15 Kevin Girard, 40,41,42,50,65 L_otus, 56,57 Back Cover Artwork: Donald Engstroa Our sincere apologies!

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R e-evaluating Food and D rugs no. a V@L. XVN0. X WINTER 1^11 ARTICLES AND ESSAYS Earth Prayers Cf A Refugee uogan Carter Dies In Hollywood Cut With Tne h i 1 1 o 1 1 1 v s "he Dutchess On Phones Poet’s '•"use Forbidden "ie Awakening C'f vv Faerie Spirit ,ntit.ed 3GOK REVIEWS Cay Spirit: Myth And leaning Red -iower: Rethinking Menstruation T ras*> Tne Wrong Apple BROTHERS BEHIND BARS Let’s Stop Criae CONTACT LETTERS FEATURE Re-Evaluating Food And Drugs What Is Wholisa ? We Are What We Eat A Balanced Body Iconoclast's AIDS Treataent The wnforked Message Of Chief Seattle Raoical - Taking A View 5rea«.'ast o * Cr.enta. Cnanpior.s AIDS: Passageway To Transforaation Do You Panic ’ rICTION Fundaaental Evil Bonsai GARDENING Winter Silhouettes

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LUNAR CALENDAR MEDIA NEWS PHOTOGRAPHY Lucid Dreaastates POETRY Larrv, I Larry, II Nones Polish Joke Troape L ’Oei1 Evening For Better Or Worse Processional Thoughts About The G-Word Dante ’s Flaw Prophecy Staying Out Of Trouble The Suaaoning POLITICS Ho Hu»! Another Election SPIRITUALITY Tools For Peace * I Tools For Peace # 2 Tools For Peace • 3

Elias Amidon, Elizabeth Roberts Clere Engleoert Jack Nichols Terry Deliaont Raphael Sabatini Michael Swift Kelly c iss 1 11 H. Koon

Rayaond R. Lathaa

Paul DuBois Carolyn Reuben Scare Crow Charles E. Hall, Ph.D. 3angs Johnston

Scott Luscoabe

10 7 5 33 33 14 14 14 15 15 15 15 16 16 16 17 17 17 17

Mark Skinner Rudy Kikel Rudy Kikel Hillel Schwartz John Zaluski P. Haaaer, Jr. T. Neblett Steven Finch Assotto Saint Robert Kaplan Pat Barlow L. E. Wilson Michael Hathaway Philip Wor dsaith

12 24 24 24 24

Stuart Noraan Paul Maier Paul Maier Paul Maier

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF WE WENT TO WAR?

Dear RFD,

Think about it.

I have noticed the absence of the North American Man-Boy Love Association advertisement from the pages of your journal in the last few issues. Are they no longer advertising with you?

Registering tor the draft is serious. W e're here to help you deal with it.

I would like to see an upcoming issue on this very controver sial topic. It remains still, the love that dares not speak it’s name.

Dear Friends at RFD, Of ail the greetings received during this holiday season, perhaps the finest is the post card from you saying that RFD still exists! For me it has been nearly a year since receiving anything from or about you. As yours is truly the lost meaningful publication I receive, naturally I have been quite concerned. So I am very happy to learn this great journal will be continuing and hopefully arriving here soon. Sincerely David Chevalier

Dear RFD, One of the main problems in prison is racial discrimination towards minorities, but mainly blacks and gay men. Some of the blacks and gay men in this prison have tried to complain, and have things changed, and ended up trans ferred to a worse prison, locked up like myself, and pressured and assaulted by other inmates at the urging of correctional officers. If there’s anyone at RFD who knows someone , or a group who is trying to help prisoners, and fight against the discrim ination towards blacks and gay people please write a letter of protest to the bottom address would be a big help. Supt. Bill Bunnell, PO Box 1031 Tehachapi, CA 93561 Thank you, Ronnie Ellard

I am an ex-offender who spent five years for sexual contact with minors and am trying to escape from the damage done to me by psychologists and law makers who had me convinced that what is a very basic pari of my spirit is “bad". It is most difficult when I dare not even bring up the subject with most people, especially since I am still on active parole. Sincerely, Michael (Ed. Note: Some of our ads run on a ’space available’ basis. Since this is a ’reader written journal,’ Michael, perhaps you can get the dialogue going with an article presenting your perspective and experiences.)

ccco 2208 South Street Philadelphia, p a 1 9 H 6

A Blessing From VVovoka In 1925, B-year-old Harry Hay went to work in the havfields o f his u n d e’s ranch in western Nevada. While there, a Paiute co-worker invited Harrv to an Indian fandango. In A Blessing From U bv oka, Hans describes vividly the curious goings-on of that celebration, particularlv his blessing from medicine man and visionary Win oka. originator of the Ghost Dance move ment. It was a day that profoundly influenced Harry ’s later political actions. His store is told as an oral histors recorded In Will Rosette, whose accompanying ess.iv traces Harry's involvement with Indian and ga\ communities. Send Sh per cops to: \ ( >K I I \ . !>( > Hoc I in;:. San I m i m

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NEW FROM I HE CROSSING PRESS! Join NAMBLA! T h e N orth A m erican M an Boy Love A ssociation w i> form ed in tV cem b er O u r n u tn goals are to o rganize support for m en and hoys involved m sexual and o ther relationships w ith each other and to help educate society about them O nly by stan d ing up fur the truth will w e t w m an boy km * from th e ch a in s that fetter it Even if you c an 't com e out openly as a boy tover or a m an lover you can help NA M BLA d epends on your support Join the struggle for your ow n freed om ' loin NAM BLA today M em bership is $1$ per year ($20 outsude nt th e U S and C anad a) Lim ited in co m e m em bership is $S Prisoner m em bership* are tree Library i» institutional subscriptions to \ y M w . A publications are $25 per year M em bers receive the NA M Bl A B ulletin (issued ten tim es yearly and the new spa per (issued iw k c Yearly) M ake all checks payable to the North A m erican Mam Bov L o se Avsouatton and send to N A M BLA Box 1’ 4 M id tow n Mat ton New York NY I DOW.

NEW MEN, NEW MINDS RRI A KING M \LE TRADITION Mow J o we change our lises: This is a book of t r i n f o r m a t i o n s , an anthology of i n s lev a n j personal confessions bv men exploring the rradmona' ru es of mascu'tnits

competitiveness

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COMING THIS FALL! the new RFD CALENDAR for 1900

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HOW TODAY'S MEN ARE CHANCING THE TRADITIONAL R I LES OF MASCULINITY a contact_club for rural met Monthly with nationwide ads, For a current issue send SASE and statement of age. P.0. Box 381 Sibley, Louisiana. 71073

EDIT ED BY FRANKLIN ABBOTT

SIMON NKCLI FOUND NOT GUILTY ANTI-GAY JUDGE COMES UNDER FIRE S M ? 5 ° r (Friday, r?d -i" the Dallas Herald Dec. 16, Times 1988) State District Judge Jack Hampton of Dallas, saying some murder victims are less innocent in their deaths than others, confirmed rumors about his motives in the very lenient sentencing of Dallas youth, PROTESTS IN TASMANIA Richard Lee Bednarski, for the brutal, execution style murder Gay men and lesbians have been of two gay men. fighting for Gay Law reform in Citing the assailant’s good Tasmania an island south of home, police officer father and mainland Australia where the the fact that he was attending penalty for engaging in sodomy college classes as factors he holds a maximum penalty of 21 considered in sentencing years in jail. To date over 130 Bednarski, he added, "I put have been arrested in the prostitutes and gays at about protests which have been the same level. If these boys occuring at the Saturday Sala had picked up two prostitutes manca Market where the groups and taken them to the woods and have a booth to gather signa killed them, I’d consider that tures on a petition calling for a similar case. And I’d be hard changes in the penal code in put to give somebody life for Tasmania. The Premier of killing a prostitute. Texas Human Rights Foundation’s Tasmania said quite bluntly that homosexuals are not Legal Director Tom Doyal said, welcome in his State. The "The statements by Judge Hampton constitute judicial groups involved intend to misconduct." continue their protests until "Hampton’s remarks display a changes are made. cavalier disregard for the integrity of the judiciary in . . . STEVE SLEPT UlTK MARK ON THE N1CHT OF HIS l i s t . that he makes plain his belief that punishment for homicide may be conditioned on the identity of the victim rather than on the nature of the criminal conduct," continued Doyal . "(Hampton’s) remarks show open disregard for the laws of our state. He has created an entirely new class of crime: Murder of expendable classes of people," Doyal added. FDA EASES DRUG RESTRICTIONS This action by Judge Hampton has made local activists even The new regulations are more aware of how necessary a designed to shorten the amount Hate Crimes Bill is to protect of time it takes for promising lesbians and gay men in Texas. new drugs to be made available to people with AIDS. Several national organizations have responded to the new regula tions saying they are encour SMITHSONIAN TO ACQUIRE PANELS aged by the FDA’s "commitment FROM AIDS QUILT to exploring alternative approaches" to experimental The National Museum of American drugs. The groups however History will acquire several expressed concern about access commemorative panels collected to promising new experimental by the Names Project for its drugs. In their comments, the AIDS Memorial Quilt. groups "commend... the FDA’s Roger Kennedy, Museum Director commitment to explore alterna said, "The Quilt is significant tive aooroaches to making not only as a symbol of those investigational drugs more who have died, but also as one widely available to people with aspect of the country’s life-threatening illnesses". response to that loss." The groups went on to add, the true test will be in the commitment of resources. 5

More than four years after his arrest in September '>984, gay anti -apartheid activist Simon Nkoli was finally acquitted of all charges and released. The trial results were a bitter sweet victory for Nkoli however, as eleven of his co defendants were found gully of terrorism and treason charges. The eleven could receive the death penalty. South African reaction to the convictions was one of anger. Nkoli’s acquittal means that he will be free to return to the politics of building the gay movement and fighting against apartheid. Nkoli said "Its time to continue from where we left off in 1984." BAD APPLES Alar a pesticide which is used to keep apples on the tree longer, insuring firmer, and redder apples is coming under fire from environmentallst and consumer groups. Because it permeates the apple, Alar cannot be washed off. When heated in processing a “potential animal carcinogen" is formed according to the EPA. Several supermarket chains including Safeway, Kroger, Giant, and A&P will not accept apples treated with Alar, as well as food processers: Heinz, Duffy-Motts, Gerber, and Tree Top. Use of Alar has drooped significantly since food chains have stopped accepting Alar treated apples.

YEAH WHOOPI “Last year after I went on the march on Washington, people said to me, 'What are you doing’ They’re gonna’ think you’re gay.’ People think that already, because I nang out with a lot of women. There hasn’t been a studio head I’ve worked for who hasn’t come out and asked me if I’m a lesbian.. I say, ’Normally, this would be none of your business. However, I will answer you.’ And I say, ’It’s possible. I’m not practicing at the moment, but I will not say it will never happen or hasn’t happened in my past." Actress Whoopi Goldberg, in the Advocate.

HEALTH DRINKING FROM THINE OWN CISTERN MUSHROOM EXTRACT MAY BLOCK SPREAD OF AIDS An extract of the shitake Rushroo* »ay slow or even block the spread of HIV virus associated with Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, according to Japanese researchers. According to the researchers, test-tube studies have shown that low concentrations of the extract called LEM inhibit growth of the HIV virus. Studies have also confirmed that LEM is effective in restoring and bolstering immune response, which may be vital in any successful treatment for AIDS. LEM apparently stmulates two important types of ii»une cells macrophages and lyaphcytes used by the body’s i«t»une system to destroy harmful toxins, bacteria, viruses and other foreign proteins, and aalignant cells. Researchers believe that LEM dosages of two to three graas daily would be required in treating HIV infection (or AIDS), at least initially. Once progress of the disease is brought under control, it is thought that dosages could be decreased to aaintenance levels of approxiaate1y a half to oneand-a-quarter graas daily. Although LEM has shown proaise as an inhibitor of the HIV virus in test-tube studies, LEM’s antiviral and laaunostiaulatmg properties will have to be deaonstrated in huaan patients before it can be considered of use as a priaary, or accessory treataent for AIDS More inforaation contact: Tia M. Shar on ,Ph .D ., 714-752-1152

FLU VACCINATION ENCOURAGED People who have tested positive for HIV(the virus believed to cause AIDS), are encouraged to becoae vaccinated against bacterial pneuaonias. People with weakened iamune systeas or other chronic health probleas should consider getting vacc inated. After doing a study of sero positive individuals it was discovered that often one shot was not enough to provide laaun1 zat1 on. The researchers reccoaaened annual vaccination against influenza followed by a booster shot four to six weeks later for all HIV positive individuals.

NEW AIDS DRUG TO BE TESTED The Food and Drug Adainistration announced a controlled clinical trial of a proaising new drug called ganciclovir. The drug will be used with AIDS patients who suffer froa cytoaegalovirus (CMV) retinitis, an eye infection that can lead to b 1indness. For several years, Syntax Corp oration the drugs aanufacturer has been supplying ganciclovir to AIDS patients on a coapassionate use basis. The drug has proven to be effective in pre venting blindness caused by CMV. One drawback however is patients who are taking A2T aust discontinue use when they begin treataent with ganciclo vir. Because both drugs are toxic to white blood cells, the two cannot be taken slau1taneous1y. For inforaation on the trial call the Ganciclovir Study Center at (301) 497-9888.

This is excerpted from a much longer article in the PWA Coalition of NYC newsletter. The author Quique Paiiaaino diagnosed with Kaposis Sarcoma, is exploring the use of urine therapy topically and inter nally, here are some of his findings. Urine is filtered and cleansed blood, full of vitamins, anti bodies, minerals, nutrients, proteins, hormones, and valuable salts (potassium and magnesium) that when recycled help the body regulate itself GENTLY, without further stress to the system. It is natures perfect antibiotic, antifungal, antibacterial, and antiviral! It is completely sterile. Most toxins and impurities are passed out through the large intestine. This alkaline detoxifying fluid cleanses the body and allows for the proper balance of electrolytes, enzymes, hormones, vitamins, antibodies and antigens necessary for good health. Urine has also been found to be effective externally in treating Eczema, boils, burns, cuts, infections, lesions, poi son ivy, hives, and fungal infections. The author learned that the morning urine is the most potent (in beneficial effects as well as in consistency), for during the night when the body is totally relaxed, aore healing and hormonal processes take place. As a result of drinking his urine his KS lesion became increasingly smaller until it totally disap peared. He suffered as well froa mouth ulcers and genital herpes neither have been a problem for him under auto genous uropathy. The author adds, “I have NEVER felt better in ay life and I no longer fear for ay life." For more inforaation on Urine Therapy call The Water of Life Institute, New York City Chap ter, at 212-929-3784.

RAOICAL FAERIE GATHERINGS From your Gathering Editor: I took on the task of Gathering Editor because I saw a great number of gatherings but little in the way of announcements or submissions on subjects gener ated at gatherings. Gatherings are a central part of the rural/faerie culture. Not to have full listings of all the gatherings and reports of activities at gatherings, paints a picture that little is happening, when in fact, its just the opposite. New circles and sites are springing up all the time. Many circles have a number of mini gatherings called impromptu, for a weekend or a potluck supper/slumber party. My hope is the facilitators of all the gatherings will get their dates and sites into RFO as soon as they are known. At least give the approximate date and site along with a contact person. With 20+ gatherings a year we ail need to make our plans early.

this fall was significant for it marked the beginning of a move toward a circle facilita ting political/social protest. In the past we have only individually participated in civil disobediance and other forms of direct political pro test. The Faerie Action Circle was called around the big picnic table one night this fall at Blue Heron planning the Faerie Action Gathering or F.A.G. this June in New York City. Hot debate occured about whether we snould do it at all and if so wnat should be our focus. I don't think there’s a gathering without such significant events. Events that shape our culture, construct our own reality. In summary: 1) Planners-send in your info. 2) Gathering circles- consider submitting communications, summaries, pictures, and art that results from your circles. 3) Gathering participantssubmit your pictures and personal pieces about your gathering experiences.

By now most folks know pretty well what generally goes on at gatherings. Take a look at a few back issues if you don’t. There are some real good des criptions. Now I think its time for some hard news pieces reporting on the details of important circles and events at gatherings. I have participated Thank-you Herman Strumpf in a number of real significant Gathering Editor action circles this past year. For example, the Faerie Action Circle called at Blue Heron 7

Here is a listing of ail the places we know that host gatherings some we did not nave contacts for. Please write to the contact listed to get more specific information. If you would like to be a part of this listing please let us know. Urban Faerie Circles can be listed as well. The more we network the stronger we become' Blue Heron Farm Rt. 1 Box 144 Dekalb, NY loodO Chicago Faeries c/o Midwest Men’s Center PO Box 2547, Chicago, IL 60690 Ganawango, western NY Jay Stratton 121 Union St. Westfield NY I4787 Gray Lady Place Kenn Wahler-Zanghi PO Box 611, Blum TK 76627 L ’Affarie David Givens Rt. I Box 6» 4 Pollack LA 7l4b9 Mid-Atlantic Faeries Bob Lubarsky 220 N. Mulberry St Lancaster PA 17603 Midwest Men's Festival David Hubert 1523 S 10th #108 Saint Louis MO 63104 New York City FAG Gathering PO Box 1251, Canal St. Sta. NY, NY 10013

GATHERING CONTACTS CONTINUED Nomenus PO Box 11655 San Francisco CA 9AI 0 I Northeastern Faeries To* Seidner 90 Lieb Rd. Spencer NY 14883 Northwestern Faeries 1206 1st Ave. #23 Seattle WA 98101 Northwoods John Sutton 2440 Garfield Ave. S Minneapolis MN. 55405 Ottawa/Eastern Canada no contact Running Water Center Rt. 1 Box 115 Bakersville NC 28705 San Francisco Faeries contact Noienus Short Mountain Sanctuary Rt. 1 r>ox 84-A Liberty TN 37G95

MID-ATLANTIC FAERIE rATHERING The Radio al Faeries are a grou P ded ica ted to the develop sent of faerie sp irit. Our gathe rings are for per sonal growth, worship of the gods and goddesses , regene rat ion and fratern izing with fell ow faeries. If you know of any rural space in the mld-At 1an tic area that might be sultab ie f0r hosting sue h a gather ing , or are intere sted in attend ing 0ne, contact: Bob Lubars ky at 717-293-8662 , or 220 N. Mu lberry St., Lan caster PA. , 17603.

SOFTENING THE STONE Men’s Gat he ring & Celebr at ion Meson al Da y Weekend May 26-29 1989 to play, teach and nurture, workshops, sweats, mudpit! dan cing, talent show, and other stuff. We outrea.'h to gay and straight men. Contact: Matthew or Phaedrus, Twin Oaks Community, Rt. 4 Box 169, Louisa VA 23093. Cost $15-30 for 3 days.

RUNNING WATER CENTER SUMMER GATHERING JUNE 1 6 - 1 8 Roan mountain, where Rhododendrons grow as tall as trees, is a nature-1over’s dre am come true. Located in wha t has been called "the most bea utiful section of the whole So uthern Appalchian range", Runn ing Water has often been referred to as "a natural hea ling place." It’s now in its 2nd decade of loving emb races. One weekend, but people can stay longer. Registration is $25 plus $6/day. Bring camp ing 1 gear. House has some fac i1ities. We’re open fo r guests from May to October. Write for more details: Runnin g Water Center, Rt. 1 Box 11 5, Bakersville NC, 28705.

SHORT MOUNTAIN BELTANE BASH

Let your hair down and run wild on 200 acres o f heavily wooded Southern California land in Middle Tennessee. Short Harry Hay/John Burnside Mountain Sanct uary is hosting 5343 La Cresta Ct. L.A. CA their ninth sp ring gathering, 90030 This year we w ill celebrate NORTHWOODS GATHERING with the windi ng of a maypole, Willow Hollow Ranch sweats, worksh ops, and fabulous This is the second year faeries PO Drawer 70 Purlear NC 28665 drag. Unlike m ost faerie will be gathering at the head gatherings we encourage the waters of the St. Croix river on 400 beautiful secluded acres. participation of wimmin as well as men. Regist ration is $2 5 in The dates for the gathering are advance $30 "at the gate“, plus August 4-13. Contact: John $6 a day for food. Noone will Sutton, 2440 Garfield Ave. S, be turned away for 1ack o f Minneapolis MN., 55405 funds. The dat es are Apr i 1 28 thru May 7. Th ere will be a pre gathering work week as well HAIMOWOODS SPRING GATHERING BALE FIRE SPRING RITES from Apr i1 21- 27. Please write: SMS, Rt. 1 Bo x 84-A, Liberty The White Water Valley Grove is This gathering is sponsered by TN. 37095, or call 615-536-5176 Men Nurturing Men and will be sponsoring a pagan festival in held June 1-4 in the Chicago East-Central Indiana April 28area. For more information 30, the cost is $35. For more write Midwest Mens Center, PO information write: Jade Tree, Box 2547, Chicago IL, 60690 Box 1728, Richmond IN. 47374 Midwest kens Center Faeries Vernal Eouinox Weekend March 17-19 WILLOW HOLLOW RANCH For more information call RAINWOODS: 2nd annual Spring Gathering 312 2 81 -1 1 8 0 A wilderness gathering place May 26-29 in the heart of rural Virginia. for more information write: Simple, basic tent camping Willow Hollow Ranch only-no luxuries, just what is Rt 1 Box 267 naturally here. Week-end and Purlear, NC 20665 week-long retreats individual 919 973-7053 ly and collectively. Planned seasonal gatherings. Visits welcome year-round. Nominal NEW YORK STATE Gratuities. For additional Pinebush gathering information and details write April 21 - 23 to: Skyhawk/RAINWOODS, POB 203, For more information contact Fork Union, VA 23055. Please CELEBRATE THE RETURN 0E THE GAY 90’ s include a BASE for your reply. Bru 718 789-5663 with the new RFO CALENDAR for 1990. Thank You! COMING THIS FALL! 8

PRISON BOOK PROGRAM One of only two such programs in the US, the Prison Book Program has been sending pro gressive literature and basic educational materials to pri soners across the country for fifteen years. Volunteers with the program open thousands of letters each year and respond to requests ranging from dic tionaries to biographies to historical works on black lib eration, the civil rights move ment and other political strug gles. While supporting study groups and individual educa tional efforts is an important part of the project, perhaps as significant is it’s role in helping prisoners feel less abandoned by the outside world. Its often this kind of support that gives prisoners the strength to speak out for their rights while imprisoned. To find out how to help write! Prison Book Program, c/o Redbook, 92 Green St., Jamaica Plain MA.,02130. jojojojojojo^ ANTHOLOGY OF POEMS ABOUT AIDS Submissions Sought Poems may be about any aspect of AIDS or your response to the AIDS epidemic. The anthology will strive to reflect a diverse range of experiences related to AIDS. Poems in any style, form or tone welcome. The collection will include both well-known and new writers Please include a SASE and a brief biographical statement with your work. Mail to: Anthology! 5111 Genoa St.; Oakland, CA. 94608 Deadline! June 30, 1989

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A new book which provides specific information on various therapies for treating AIDS has just been made available. The book entitled Roads to Recovery A Practical Guide to Options for People with AIDS and ARC compiled by Jeremy Bell a PWA offers general information on the disease, as well as tradi tional and alternative treat ments. The book is in looseleaf form to enable one to update the book with new information when it becomes available. The book which is over 800 pages covers every aspect of dealing with AIDS/ARC from diagnosis to drug therapies to natural healing techniques to spiritual approaches to doctor-patient relations. Due to the magnitude of the book the cost is $50 plus six dollars for shipping for individual and $65 for institutions. A limited number may be available for PWA’s/ARC. To order write Face to Face, P.O. Box 1599, Guernaville, CA 95446, or call 707-887-1581

A high school in sweltering south Florida set a precedent th is week by ordering boys to take o f f their mini s k ir t s and put on th eir pants. As a record heat cloaked the Miami area t h i s week, North Miami Beach High School's a ir-c o n d itio n in g s y s tem broke down. The school prohibits boys from wearing sh orts— but not sk irts. " I t was a way to remain c o o l," said Brad Meltzer, 18, student body p r e si dent, who wore his g i r l f r i e n d ' s blue cheerleading s k i r t . "They looked good," said Cori Flam, 17, "They wore the s k i r t s t i g h t . " "We have a policy about dress, and that was not normal dress." the sch oo l's a s s i s t a n t p r in c ip a l, Frank Johnson, told a reporter. "Tn c la s s they tried to s i t as la d y lik e as they could. But t h a t 's not possible i f you haven't practiced over the years." rd1tors note: perfect!

Practice makes

GAY AND LESBIAN SOURCEBOOK The National Lesbian/Gay Health Foundation (NLGHF) has publshed the second edition of The Sourcebook on Lesbian/Gay Health Care. It contains more than 2,000 listings of doctors, clinics, counseling services and research centers that spec ialize in lesbian and gay health care, as well as 42 articles by leading experts on lesbian and gay health issues. The Sourcebook directory covers every state in the U.S. as well as Canada, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom. The directory provides informa tion on every conceivable health issue from pysychotherapy, support groups, chem ical dependancy and other addictions, rape counseling, menstrual disorders, holistic treatment, and plain old basic preventive health care. The Sourcebook which is sold for $14.00, was edited by Michael Shernoff, ACSW, and William A. Scott, CSW, ACP. It is available in bookstores across the country or by contacting the NLGHF, PO Box 65472, Washington, D.C., 20035 202-797-3708. 9

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XUNAR CALENDER For those of you who are star gazers, there Is an event coming up In March that you may want to make note of. There will be a conjunction of .the planets Mars and Jupiter on the evening of March' 10. Tf you go out side ju st a fter sunset that evening, you w ill see a small cresent moon In the sign of Torus, Tf you are facing south', IX w ill be just to the west [right] of the mid-heaven, Almost directly overhead and l e f t of the moon, you w ill see the two planets almost on top of one another forming a double star. This event only happens about every two years so try not to miss I t . Hopefully, IX w ill be a beautiful clear evening so we a ll can see good. Those of you who liv e In the ciXy, should be able to see them,as th e y 'll prob ably be about the only stars you can see aver the lights of the clXy. A word of caution for this period , 7t w ill be a time of some very Intense energy coming In. If you are prepared for I t , you can use this energy to your advantage and b en lflt from IX, Otherwise, IX could run you straight up a wall and be a d iffic u lt time for you. After a ll, lookrwhat happened to poor Ceaser on the Ides of MarchSpring Is almost here and I t 's time to start thinking about that garden. 7 hope this calendar w ill be a help to a ll of you who work with the Mother and her bountiful harvests. Until nexX time, may love be the wind beneath your icings.

MOONHAWK

rose o f you. who have, been RFV readers over the years, you w ill remember that In years past, there was a lunar calendar. Somewhere along the lin e , I t was cUcontinued.One of the goat a oft the new management of, RFV Is to return RFV to IXs country roots for gayA who liv e In the country aA welt cla thoAe who liv e in mohe unban surroundings, Anyone who plants a garden, knows the importance of planting and harvesting by the lunar AignA, Beglning with th is lAAue, the lunar calendar w ill, become a regular feature, again. JuAt as the moon has a great Influence over u a , ao do the energies of the other ptanetA. 7 have Incorperated astrological, information Into the calender so that you can have a better understanding of a l l the energies that are In f lu e n c in g us I n our d a lly liv e s , 1 have tried to make, the calender as slmpie as possible and easy to read. 7 have put in the. time of day the moon enters Into a sign, the time I t changes phases, and the time the planets change signs. All of the times used In the calendar are central, stan dard time. For those of you In eastern time, simply add one. hour. For those of you -in mountain or p a cific time, you subtract one or two hours resp ectfu lly ,

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HO Humi What worries me about George Bush is his CIA connections. He is a former Director, thus he will be favorable to increased intelli gence activities of any government agency. Can he be trusted not to use this against our own people?

A N O T H E R E L E C T I O N BY S tu a rt:

And how will Bush approach foreign relations? Can he continue the bettering relations with the Russians? Will he attempt to continue the Reagan policy toward Central America, especially Nicaragua? Contra aid?

N o r m a n

By now we should all know that George Bush and Dan Quayle have been elected to the Presidency and Vice-presidency of our nation. They received no clear mandate from the people— only 54$ to 46$ for Dukakis-Bentsen. And it was the nastiest campaign in american history. Exit polls demonstrate that the people are very disturbed over the negative attitudes of the candidates and their cam paigns.

Bush is already tainted by Iran-gate. We still don't know how much he was involved. So how can he be trusted? The most important issue our community faces is AIDS. And it is becoming an issue of world-wide importance. Will the Bush admin istration be more open and responsive than the Reagan one?

Dukakis presented himself to the people very badly— closed, unhappy, unsure of himself, but that was only a TV image. Bush was open and sure of himself. However, neither can didate said anything of substance. They avoided AIDS issues and equivocated on most important questions. Reporters are either too polite to tell the candidates "You didn't fanswer my question," or else there is a media conspiracy by politicans and the media not to present the public straightfor ward answers.

At this point all we can be sure of is that defense and economic growth will be prior ities. Pew social issues for the disadvan taged will be approached. Examination of deep social problems will continue to be avoided. We need an administration whose interests lie in deeper social issues: overpopulation, the homeless, causes of crime, civil rights for everyone, the environment and health. The question is whether democracy can survive increasing overpopulation and the environ mental and political demands our affluence imooses on the world. America is not an overpopulated nation, yet.

The debates were a joke. Very few questions were answered directly. No one pinned the candidates down. I believe that presidential debates should be mandatory and operated by formal forensic methods of exposition, re buttal, counter statement and counter rebut tal— with a clear winner and loser. How much will Bush continue the Reagan legacy? Will he be as ideologically pure? More or less to the political right? There is some talk that Bush's appointees will be of a more pragmatical nature than ideological. He has already appointed James Baker as Secretary of State; a man well respected in Washington by both political parties. But Baker ran Bush's nasty campaign and must atone for that.

Will Bush and his cronies see the need for a world order rather than narrow national in terests? No nation can any longer be isolat ed. Now, nations are no more than states in a world-wide economy/government. And America is losing its preeminent place in that order. The current economy is good for most americans, yet there exists a wider gap than ever be tween the haves and have nots. We are be coming like the rest of the world. And Re publicans haven't rectified the national de ficit. Under the Reagen administration it has grown to the largest in history. A bal anced budget seems impossible.

Vice President Dan Quayle seems inarticulate, lacking maturity— a spoiled brat who is too up tight, narrowly and rigidly conservative than Bush. It is a frightening prospect to realize he could be in line for the presidency if Bush couldn't continue in office. Lloyd Bentsen would have made a better VP. It's unfortunate he wasn't selected as the Demo cratic presidential candidate. They might have won. In the debates he demonstrated how petty Quayle is.

It is most likely that economic and business interests will rule the world. It will be government increasingly by management prin ciples and economic gain— not necessarily the best for all people. Yet a positive aspect of this development is to promote peace, because business cannot thrive in a climate of world conflict. It needs stabili ty, thus it lessens the chance for world war. It is better to trade, buy and sell than fight. 12

Administrations have put up straw dogs as psuedo problems to focus us away from real problems. The drug issue is one of these. Prom the administration's position one could believe there are addicts lying on every street corner, in the gutter, or worse, hid ing their affliction in jobs which threaten the public safty. Yes, there is a drug prob lem exacerbated by our drug-oriented society. However, we do not have a drug—crazed pop ulation.

The problem with this approach is that lead ers have been and will have to be good mana gers. That isn't bad in itself, but the world needs people of transformational view points to lead us into new ways to thinking and viewing the world. We face so many crises that threaten the very survival of the human race. Management simply doesn't have the broad vision to face these problems.

Is the conservative backlash losing steam? Christian fundamentalists don't have the power and influence thev once had, especially since the Jim Bakker scandal. They have lost re spect in political circles as well as with the public.

And the political system, its laws, the bur eaucracy, the political machines, even the mainstream though and, lastly, special in terests hardly allow a president to make any major changes. If he can accomplish a change, he is doing very well indeed. A part of this trend has been across the political spectrum zen should have little to say process; only an intellectual rule.

For gays under the Keagan administration our worst fears haven't come true. We have not been quarantined, put in concentration camps, few heavily discriminatory laws have been passed. We have even made some gains. Yet we can't expect any significant gay rights gains under the Bush administration.

a belief all that the citi in the governing elite should

We are given few choices for whom or what to vote. Pew of us have had any input into the decision-making process. Issues are chosen by the governing elite. And politicans fol low public opinion only to find out what to say to us regarding their wishes— to sell to us what they think is best. Public opinion rarely changes policy. Thus politics is basically a public relations campaign.

At least we have a viable message about AlDb to present to the people and a fight for our and everyone else's rights. We are capable of continuing that fight. And we have just recently. In California, once again a propo sition for mandatory HIV reporting and contact tracing failed by a wide majority. The mess age to the people is that this will not be tolerated.

Yet many americans aren't interested in poli tical involvement. Most are only concerned with their little lives: careers, family, the next vacation or VCH. If they are com fortable and economically better off than a few years previously they will not want change. That is the current condition in America.

Many gays had placed their hopes on a Demo cratic win, not necessarily because of Duka kis, but because they have been more open to our wants and needs. But not all Democrats support us. They have reneged on their pos ition supporting gay rights. However, I be lieve they would have created an open and comprehensive AIDS policy. Only time will tell whether the Bush administration can meet the challenge.

We respond more to image and personality in political campaigns than to issues. And the media doesn't help that problem. We've also learned to accept lying in political campaigns and other dishonest actions of officeholders.

The Democrats will have to get their act to gether. At least they didn't lose any members of the House and Senate. They gained 5 in the House and one in the Senate, so the Con gress is firmly in Democratic control.

Election polls tend to increase our political apathy by influencing people to vote for the apparent winner or, thinking the outcome al ready determined, not to vote at all.

I suggest that the Democrates do what the Re publican party did a few years ago when Rea gan was first elected: purge the party. The Republicans purged their liberal element and became a true conservative party with a co herent message and policy. Therefore the Democrats should purge their conservatives and become a true liberal party. Then they should rethink their liberal positions and cast away outworn policies and ideas. Once again they could present a coherent position and attract new voters. Otherwise we need new political parties offering alternative solutions.

However, dissent is still alive. The popu larity and validity of political dissent was established in the 1960s and has had an important and lasting effect. Americans have successfully opposed contra aid in Nic aragua against the wishes of the Reagan ad ministration. There was a quiet, strong dissent from a broad spectrum of the people. And it will no doubt continue, especially now that we have a government vs. the people. 13

by Pudy Kikel

LARKY, i

LARRY, II

"Rudy, By the gallon I buy Old Spice cologne, because I know it reminds many gay men of their daddies— and I want

"Rudy, I think I don't like you much. While you were ensconced in academia learning how to intimidate the likes

all bases covered. Weekly, i skate at the North End rink and enjoy it, but even more I enjoy wandering with my

of me, I was living my; fucking politics— and you have the audacity to dress me down politically. Granted,

Bruins cap and hockey skates into t-rooms on my way home— expecting to be snapped up like a Halston gown in Filene's

I am more of a loner these days because I an a bit befuddled and unsure of where to go from here. It leaves my

basement. The only 'out* for myself I. can conceive of— a faggot with a 'pre-Stonewall* romance with the dark and dreary—

politics occasionally open to question— and I do every three or four months dash madly through city t-rooms, but

is the devotion of my energies to documenting my 'era.' Error? But I'm not adept enough at using

I still find that more upfront than working the bars. The entire bar concept has always reeked of oppression. You say it is 'our

the language to tone down my lust: it would be a case of cum spots on the treatise told a tale on me! Then there's the matter

history' and frequenting bars is part of what you call 'outreach.' Outreach, my ass! I watched you in bars. With these kids you were more

of my soul. I look at you. 1 assume that a good part of your delightful style steins from your having 'done time' in t-rooms.

condescending even than you are with me. They sense this shit, Rudy. They're not dumb— nowhere near as dumb as you'd like them to

Fine. Now what? Have you truly reconciled your gay life and your spiritual life? Did you touch bottom before your return to

be. So you go on breaking dates with your bevy of young men, but please check any impulse you might have to lecture me on

the Church? Can you share that with me? I really need this kind of support. Or am I asking too much of a month-old friendship?"

politics. In fact, it might be wise to stay out of my way. I ’m so thoroughly pissed, I'm likely to take a swing at you."

TROMPE L'OEIL by P. Hammer, Jr. Can we claim a forest by the message colored on each leaf, if it is shadowed by light wavering from this distance? Can the singular birch still green against a mass of taller turnings fool us? Have these tops already gone or is it just the slant of a mirror called sun cracking its prism on this late hour? As such, can we name any genus petrified by the word permanence?

POLISH JOKE by John Zaluski

Over dinner My father tells me That our people are the kind that would Look for Polish last names Each time they read: newspapers, magazines, anything. It is their way In a country which often mocks them. He says, yes write your poems Only, for those gay ones Could you maybe change your name Something, well ... I eye the kielbasa Then go bowling. NONES by Hillel Schwartz After each life you take inventory, slide your tongue down the spine of regret, the last chips of skull in the fur. So today I paw at my skin to make it clean of you, and you have left the country. Last life we crouched and sang in heat Motown blues, the Doobie Bros yaddling like cats across the U5s. Forty-eight now I am looking over my skin at you caught in the spider glass of collision, your legs splayed in the mercy seat. No miracles: numbers are numbers. A drunk at 8l runs through all the nines at once. I rub at ashes in my beard and stroke the fire on my chest. It is pleasant out here in the summer courtyard. The heat seems impossibly good and full, as if I could stretch to fit the folly of this living on.

EVENING by T Neblett I never cared for morning sex Until I met him ' Now we retire early in anticipation

THOUGHTS ABOUT THE G-WORD

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

by Robert Kaplan

for Miguel by Steven Finch

Sometimes people ask why i want everyone to know

News has it two Frenchmen had. their wedding televised yesterday, and over supper, we talk about gays married in church.

i'm G-A-Y.

I mention one off Broadway on Chicago's north side

Usually these people are white males who call their secretaries ms make their own coffee put their wives in glass boxes put an arm around my shoulder & ask why i want to make such a statement why i want to cut myself off from so much of the world why i want to be so obvious

(only to learn later on it was hell-bombed) and ask whether you would have our hands joined that way. You say you cannot see the point in such ceremony and I see Just what you mean, as, when in the quiet of night, after our love has been consummated, your right hand reaches out warm from underneath the bed linen and 3oftly you ask me for mine.

about it as if they would never stare when i walk down the street as if they would never whisper when i hold another man's hand as if they didn't know that i know that they know that if it weren't for it they would never have to ask any questions about anything at all.

PROCESSIONAL by Assotto Saint in the name of america beyond masks ancestors bore though thoughts too often misspeak brutally on this land of unsettled promises rise against an horizon where labels beacon you with vikings' tales sired in the snows of sundsvall i brick-dark from the country of loas coconuts toussaint keys chains hankies hang out of your pockets pearls from my ear trusting togetherness your voice of fugues my pen which paints heaven in hell across barriers states borders frontiersmen bearing sexuality as talisman we caravan 16

ever

STAYING

DANTE'S FLAW

OUT OF TROUBLE by Michael Hathaway

Tormented souls in Heaven who never knew what unleavened bread means Sold th e ir souls to never know that l i f e and death are in between and even though they seem to know they don't Who are they to judge so free that Hell i s not to be a place o f peace and serenity For Hell i s a home for some And Heaven i s sum for some Now 1et the people be For Heaven and Hell can be for now but both can be for eternity and they are You may go abovebelow even though they say not soyou can! For I have been before and I w ill be again and both have been home again for me

fighting is abhorent/i have very few muscles but something in me is scary/bold so strong i don't know what it is but i can stand stupidly w/out fear before hate/ lies look them bluntly in the eyes & win troublemakers/cowboys retreat when they feel that crazy truth in my innocent face i'll never give in i may lose but i'll hurt someone/something in the process as i'm not above dirty fighting nothing matters but surviving intact i can always bring a mighty important piece of them to the dirt w/me & will

THE SUMMON INC

by Philip Wordsmith Arise! Radical Fairies and sing triumphant! in fey tongues to flute and harp. Give flaming voice to the Joy of being beneath stars in the winter's dark.

the phoenix is rising this time from a deadly nest of spun and shredded steel his eyes are bright fire, all-seeing and his song is the firestorm there will be no escaping his vision or his voice and only one in ten will understand his anger and one in a hundredâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; perhaps, perhapsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; will live to see him die in agony, and be reborn this phoenix is rising in anger tomorrow, tonight, any moment now deaf to time-honored prayers and the All-American Dream old men set up in sham marble shall die entombed and none shall dare to mourn them young men bright with pride and hometown arrogance will find no sword to combat his swift burning smug women shall stand blind, march blind, and be damned ah, when my beloved phoenix rises at last the old balance will be regained, renewed the dance shall begin again, to harps and piping it will not be the meek who shall inherit this beauty but the wise children who never squinted in fear when looking upon the bright face of glory

Strike drum and rattle tamborine. Dance wild till shaman-drag whirls musk. Then in strength of gathering come and listen: as The Shawl begins again tc speak. Awakening the essences of our fellowship to flower in the rainbow rings of spring.

The first part of the anthology looks at the diverse roles gays have taken in society as makers of culture. Several writers examine the alternative social relationships gays can make with the larger human community. Dennis Altman distinguishes the options of forming a separate gay community or creating within the larger human community. Altman suggests that forming a separate community to bolster gay arts may lead to a culture perspective that is too introspective and therefore stifled. Altman states, "The problem is that we can become too obsessed with the internal life of one community to remember that the best art is that which transcends boundaries, reaching people outside the world from which it comes." (p. 19) The challenge is for gay artists to create for a larger human community without compromising their gay experience. Artists need to explore ways of using their gay sensi bility to illustrate and question broader human conditions.

Gay Sp_i fit: Myth and Meaning edited by Mark Thompson St. Martin's Press, 1987 310 pages $8.95 paper or $18.95 hard

Say Spirit is a provocative and inspirational anthology of gay consciousness. Thompson, the Advocate's cultural editor for eleven years, includes writers and thinkers such as Michael Bronski, William Burroughs, Harry Hay, Don Kilhefner, Will Roscoe and Mitch Walker. The essays are an introspective look at what it is to live and think gay and raises many ques tions for those of us whose coming out is life long .

An intriguing interview with Michael Foucault was done by Bob Gallagher and Alexander Wilson a few months before Foucault's death. Fou cault believes that sexuality is something we create and that sexual liberation is not dis covering secrets about ourselves and our de sires but defining and creating desire. Con cerning sexual liberation, Foucault tells us, "Not only do we have to defend ourselves, but we have to affirm ourselves; not only affirm ourselves as an identity but as a creative force." (p. 29) Foucault suggests that we should go beyond just demanding sexual toler ance but create new types of expressions and relationships.

Thompson's introduction is well written and sets the tone for the book. Thompson believes the gay man is like the shaman, who enters into a spiritual journey of the underworld, during the process of coming out or living with the effects of AIDS. The gay man returns from this inner journey with uniquely gay gifts and visions so needed in this self-de structive world. "There is a relatively un tapped potential to the gay experience, one rich in promise for humanity in its wholeness--in fact, necessary for the very preser vation of that wholeness--as humankind struggles for acceptance of itself." (p. xv) Thompson and many of the writers perceive that the time is ripe for the gay tribe to create its own myths, to define ourselves in our own style. In the introduction, Thompson writes:

Other essays in the first part of Gav Spirit look at how gay men have actualized gay roles and the creative force and meaning behind these roles. Essays include such identities as drag queens, leathermen, gay Christians, and gay American Indians. An essay on the adventures of anonymous sexual experience all over the world, in alleys, parks, abandoned buildings, and woods would have been appropri ate but is missing in this collection. Such anonymous sexual experiences, like the faerie, leather, or drag experience, has a history (a long one at that) and is still an institution in gay culture today. I realize some would call such experiences debasing, not to mention unsafe in this age; however, for many the anonymous sexual experience is spiritual, adventurous, and practiced safely.

I would define gay people as possessing a luminous quality of being, a different ness that accentuates the gifts of com passion, empathy, healing, interpretation and enabling. I see gay people as the 10-between ones; those who can entertain irreconcilable differences, who are ca pable of uniting opposing forces as one.... (p. xvi)

The second part of the anthology focuses on the visions and theories of gay people in the past and present, examines how we may define ourselves as distinctly gay, an awareness that comes from within. We read the ideas and theories of Walt Whitman, Edward Carpenter, and Gerald Heard, men who first saw gay people as a distinct people.

Throughout Gay Spirit the writers probe the various contributions, identities, and visions gay people have given to humankind.

Don Kilhefner's introductory essay makes the same dichotomy found in Michael Bronski's essay in the book's first part. Both writers see two groups which sprung from the earl gay

Reviewed by Brent J. Derowitsch

with respect. Hay believes human survival, which is on the brink of self-destruction, depends on gays, "to develop this gay con sciousness to its deepest and most compassion ately encompassing levels." (pp. 197-98) Hay suggests that the subject-to-subject way of relating is the oldest way of relating, almost lost but now being rediscovered by gays.

movement, two paths gay people can choose. The path of assimilation or reform is chosen by those who wish to work within the male heterosexual social structure by seeking leg islative reforms and gaining respectability by mainstream society. The assimilationist wins respectability by complying to the "homosexual myth" as defined by the straight medical and psychological professions. The other path is affirmation or liberation for those who wish to affirm their gay identity and contributions as distinctly their own. Affirmationists work toward fundamental changes in society to make the social structures more inclusive to human diversity. Kilhefner writes, "As gay men continue to reclaim our cultural and spiritual history outside the Myth of the Homosexual, we are discovering a rich historical lineage pointing toward the current emergence of gay consciousness." (p. 126) Bronski believes as people who are the innovators and vanguards of culture, gays are in the empowering position to challenge society. Bronski states, "Cul tural change ... has the potential to radical ize and transform basic social structures, consequently attacking the very foundations of all systems of oppression." (p. 14) Both writers uphold that gay people have been the cultural movers whose time has come to build a more loving human community.

The third part of the collection describes a world of our own making by gay men inspired by their fairiness, how such a creation begun and its meaning. This new world enables us to continue our personal and social growth, to expand our contributions to the rest of the human tribe and to discard the old homosexual myth and to create our own myths and meanings. In Thompson's "This Gay Tribe: A Brief History of Fairies," he observes that the fairie move ment sprung from the need to redirect the gay liberation movement. In the mid-70s it was apparent that the revolution was moving toward assimilation; however, small pockets of gay men around the country were afoot to explore gay consciousness. This exploration was shaped by experiments in rural and urban com munal living and by the circulation of the magazine R F D . The rising consciousness was influenced by Arthur Evans' reclamation of gay history and by Harry Hay's theories of faerie identity in gay men and subject-to-subject consciousness. In 1979 the first Spiritual Conference of Radical Fairie was called in the Arizona desert. No one expected that the response would be so great when over 200 gay men came to the gathering. Since the first gathering, hundreds of Radical Fairie gather ings have been held throughout North America. Thompson writes, "For several thousand gay men, fairie gatherings have provided a unique opportunity to examine and to reclaim a part of the self previously denied, an intense experience to be digested and then used in the context of everyday life." (p. 268) Thompson feels that the gay men who have responded to the fairie movement are those who believe that gay liberation begins within each person's heart. The revolution inside means confront one's own homophobia and begin to affirm one's fairie consciousness.

William Moritz's "Seven Glimpses of Walt Whit man" suggests that Whitman was the first to make the gay-straight distinction. Whitman described people who today are called gay as "adhesive." The adhesive people, those who bond together, have a special vision, a spiri tual essence. As described by Moritz, Whitman believed they had "a vital role in the society at large: the shaman of 'The Sleepers,' the nurse of 'The Wound-Dresser,' as well as the trappers, laborers, and loafers." (p. 143) Edward Carpenter observed the role of gay people or what he termed the "intermediate type" in non-western cultures. These people tended to be the spiritual leaders, artists, and healers of their community. In Gerald Heard's essay, he coins the term "isophyl" for those who share gay attributes. The isophyl has what appears to be a prolonged youth or retains youthfulness into adulthood. This youthfulness allows the isophyl to be open, explore, and develop into alternative experi ences and expressions. Heard speculates, "The isophyl has the mind-body make-up that makes possible the openness of heart and mind with out which toleration disappears, progress is arrested and society declines into tyranny." (p. 178) The isophyl shares their discoveries with those who create children and must become rooted in careers in order to support their children.

Gav Spirit is not just for Radical Fairies but for all types of gay men who realize their specialness. The book celebrates the gay spirit which manifests itself in a myriad of ways, holds up our gay past as inspirational, and speculates about our gay future in exci ting ways. There is a West Coast bias that gay consciousness rose from that corner of the continent. I believe and have experienced the rise of gay spirit from all over this country as well as Canada. Gav Spirit is an anthology that will be used and quoted by enlightened gay men who will continue to explore gay con sciousness and to create a new world. The collection is one of the first to examine the blossoming gay spirit and gay contributions to society and to acknowledge the importance of this blossoming to gays and the whole human community. Hopefully this book will be the first of many works to explore and magnify the gay spirit now fully alive.

Thompson's interview with Harry Hay before the first radical faerie gathering in 1979 shows how Hay continues to develop the historical awareness of distinctly gay attributes. Hay believes gays have a "special window," a dif ferent vision of the world, which Hay calls subject-to-subject consciousness. The gay person or subject sees other people as sub jects like himself, to be treated equally and 19

Trash by Dorothy Allison Firebrand Books 141 The Commons Ithaca, NY 14805 $8.95 Reviewed by Robyn Kevlin

Red Flower; Bethinking Menstruation by t)ena Taylor

"Between my mama and Aunt Alma there were five other sisters. The most terrible and loved was Bess, the one they swore had always been so smart. From the time I was eight Aunt Bess had a dent in the left side of her head. My uncle, her husband, had come up from the deep dust on the road, his boots damp from the river, picking up clumps of dust and making mud, knocking it off on her steps, her screen door, her rug, the back rung of a kitchen chair. She'd shouted at him "Not on my clean floorl" and he'd swung the bucket, riverstained and heavy with craw fish. He'd hit her in the side of the head dented her into a lifetime of stupidity and half-blindness. Son of a bitch never even said he was sorry, and all my childhood he'd laughed at her, the way she'd sometime stop in the middle of a sentence and grope pain fully for a word."

The Crossing Press Freedom, CA. 95019 $8.95 Reviewed by Robyn Kevlin Many women greet the appearance of their monthly ‘courses with something less than en thusiasm. The pain and inconvenience are accompanied by the constant worry of "having an accident". Heaven forbid our lover should find a bloody spot on the sheets, and what would our room-mate think if she saw the un successfully rinsed underwear in the laundry hamper? Most women have had a negative view of men struation since their mothers first told them it was dirty and refused to discuss it with them. We hardly mention the word ourselves, referring instead to the "Visitor" or the "curse". After all, that ultimate reference for protocol, the Bible, says that a men struating women must be secluded as unclean when "the flowers" are upon her, and that she must make ritual sin offerings each month to atone for having menstruated. But it was not always so....

Trash is a collection of stories full of despair and hopelessness. Set in the deep South of the fifties and sixties, the writing is powerful and evocative, mixed with fear and loneliness, and a certain fierce pride. Whether written autobiographically, or just for shock value, this book contains vivid images of family relationships too painful to credit, and too realistic to ignore. Even while we try to convince ourselves that such things do not happen, a small voice whispers "Yes, they do."

Ancient women treated menstruation as a holy gift, inextricably linked with giving life. Men held a women's monthly flow in reverence, using it to consecrate the land to insure its fertility. It was called "wise blood", and a women reaching menopause was considered venerable indeed, for she no longer allowed her wisdom to flow from her each month, us ing it instead to guide her people through her words.

Sometime, when you're ready for a heavy dose of realism cum pathos, pick up Trash. But be prepared to read it all the way through once started, it is hard to put down. The Wrong Apple by David Rees

Dena Taylor's book offers new angles in con sidering menstruation, and should be a "must read" for women (and men) in all stages of life. It is filled with poetry and vignettes that might help overcome some of the nega tivity we've absorbed about an important aspect of our lives.

Knight's Press P.O. Box 454 Pound Ridge, NY 10576 $8.55 Reviewed by Douglas Schuch David Rees is a prolific British writer of books with gay themes, both for teens and adults. Many of his works, including this one, appear to be semi-biographical. The Wrong Apple deals with all the personal pain and turmoil, the decisions required, and the stress on relationships that arise when the central character, David (whose resem blance to the author goes far beyond just the name) learns he is HIV positive. It is par ticularly painful for me to read in that, 20

while David is aware of safer sex techniques, he only uses them once he learns he has the virus. David definitely assumes his infection is due to a recent sexual encounter, so the obvious moral I can see is "practice safer sex!" This means more than only sleeping with people who have minimal sexual experiences, or who currently sleep only with two or three other men— the approach of David's that led to his infection. However, if this is the author's message, he leaves it up to the read er to assume David never regrets his decisions to practice unprotected anal intercourse with multiple partners; never acknowledges the fallacy of his risk reduction concepts. His only voiced regret is in taking the test, thus learning his status and having to tell his lover, causing the gradual collapse of their relationship. I assume that had he not taken the test he would have continued to have un protected sex. David is contrasted to Mike, one of his casual sex partners, who also tests positive, and is the presumed source of David's infection. Mike falls in love with another man, develops a relationship with him, but never tells him he is HIV positive and does not practice safer sex. While David does not approve of Mike's actions, he is jealous of M i k e ' s b u d d i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p as his crumbles, recognizing the unfairness of his situation; the costs of his honesty. All of this seems to qive the message that safer sex is for those who test positive. Mike is the villain for not doing so. David's lover is somewhat the villain for not being compassion ate. David is the hero for being honest and insisting on safer sex after he tests posi tive. I only hope that all who read this book reach the conclusion I did— the real villain is a virus, and it is easily defeated--practice safer sex no matter what your assumed or tested HIV status.

ous" often ignores the physical, and "erotic" fiction usually ignores all but the physical. Often, the books I enjoy most (and can relate to most) are those that recognize both as pects. It is a rare book that can make me horny and also make me cry or otherwise move me emotionally. David Rees is capable of both.

WANTED---- BOOK REVIEWS I am interested in readers sending me a brief review of the best books they have ever read. One's choice of books is very telling and a review of that special book may stimulate others to also share it. I will collect all the reviews and submit them to RFD for pub lication. (It may be necessary to edit re views due to space constraints). Therefore, I eagerly await hearing from as many of you who care to share your best reads. Thanks. Send to; Raphael Sabatini 1301 Vermont Ave. NW, Apt. 602 Washington, DC 20005

While I have some questions on what message The Wrong Apple gives on reducing risks, I enjoy Rees' honest portrayals of gay men and their relationships and friendships. The primary relationship is that between David and Kim. Their relationship starts ad a purely sexual one and grows from there, but never truly escapes its physical origins. There are large differences between the two in age, education, intelligence, and compassion (David having the most in all categories) and as the relationship ends David realizes how selfish Kim was throughout. As the book ends, David is beginning as new relationship that, while maybe not quite the same in the physical at traction category, has a foundation of hones ty, trust, compassion, and condoms. This definitely delves into an area that is acknow ledged and analyzed by gay writers more than non-gay: the role of physical attraction in forming relationships. Gay men are much more willing to discuss "types" in considering relationships, a concept often denied by les bians and straights. But while David Rees acknowledges it (his central characters in most of his books are fortyish men involved with men in their twenties), he is also saying in The Wrong Apple that there has to be much more. This balance is often needed as "seri

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YOU ARE INVITED to join in the creation o f an in t e rÂ fa ith Earth Liturgy, a c o lle c tio n o f ecological prayers, l i t a n i e s , songs, b le s s in g s , graces and invocations for healing and alin gn in g human-Earth re la tio n s . Our Earth is in trouble and we know this at the deepest le v e ls of our being. He need to tune the resources that are within us and between us for helping our world to heal. This volume o f EARTH PPAYERS w ill help us focus both individual meditations and c o l le c t i v e prayers on the joyful interpenetration of human l i f e with the l i * e of the planet. I t i s also our hope that these prayers and blessin g s w ill contribute to the celebration o* holy days and r arth f e s t i v a l s - such as s o l s t i c e and equinoxes - by in d iv id u a ls , communities and s p iritu a l groups around the world. The volume w ill include private and common prayers for the wild, for species of animals and plants, grace for food, prayers for the land, the a i r , the oceans, poetry and blessings for s p e c ific places, and invocations for the seasons o f the year and the special days that mark the cycles o f the sun and moon. Earth prayer i s the ecological alignment o f our s p i r i t s . It is the recognition that matter and s p i r i t , Earth and Heaven, are an inseparable whole and that our role is not to be redeemÂ ed from the Earth but to become true celebrants in i t s d iv i n i t y . By re-honoring prayer we reclaim an essentia l way to become aware o f the sacredness of l i f e . I t i s in th is s p i r i t that EARTH PRAYERS i s being created. We invite you to join us in t h i s search for a deep ecological li t u r g y and welcome your suggestions from e x is tin g material and your contributation s o f o rig in a l expressions. To be t r u ly responsive to the s p i r i t u a l vacuum evidenced by the re le n tle s s desecration o f the planet, th is book of prayers must a r is e from the commitment of many hearts. Please add YOURS!

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Authors w ill receive free copies o f the book and w ill maintain th eir r ig h t s to publish th eir material in other forms. Contributions and suggestions for the volume can be of any length and in any language, and can be in the form o f prayers, r i t u a l s , invocations, l i t a n i e s , b le s s in g s, songs or psalms. Please address correspondence to: EARTH PRAYERS E li a s Amidon/Elizabeth Roberts 130 Sherman Street Santa Cruz, CA 95060

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"But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall teach thee; Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee; And the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee. JOB 12:7-8

****************** TOOLS FOR PEACE #1 ****************** The spiritual body of this planet is changing. So are the subtle bodies of all the beings who live upon it. New centers of awareness are emerging. Their function is to transmit the energy of Peace.

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In the body of the planet, several new energy centers are awakening. New York is built upon one of them. Geneva, Nairobi, Bombay, HiroÂ shima, Sydney and Buenos Aires are built upon others. In the middle of West Antarctica another point emerges. The frequency these centers beam outward is Peace. They have the capacity to become great healing centers. In the human body a new center also awakens. For thousands of years there were seven main centers in the subtle body, called chakras, each working with a different frequency. The root chakra, at the tip of the spine, for grounding; just below the navel, the sexual chakra; then the solar plexus, for will; the heart chakra, for love; the throat for commuÂ nication; the third eye for psychic intuition; the crown chakra at the top of the head for spiritual attunement. But now, as humanity evolves, a new chakra awakens, mid-way between the heart and throat chakras: the chakra of Peace, the thymus chakra. Feel this new chakra awakening. Feel its power. As the thymus gland generates Peach in the body by strengthening the immune system, the thymus chakra generates Peace in the world. Sit quietly. Draw energy up from the Earth and let it fill you. Then draw energy down from the heavens and let that fill you, too. Feel the energies weave together, as you think about Peace. Fill your body with the feeling of Peace, and then beam it out to the world through your thymus chakra. Think about starting a Peace working group with your friends. Sit in a circle, and fill your body with energy as you do when you wor.k alone. Now direct your energies to a point in the center of the circle. This point is a collective chakra. Feel Peace spread out from there into the world. A web of Peace begins to weave itself around the planet. It connects the world's Peace centers, and spreads out from there. Whoever does this work joins into the web, joins into the weaving. Let us turn the first night of each month, between the hours of 10 and 10:30, into a global celebration of Peace. Alone or with others, join into the weaving. Sing of Peace, dance of Peace, speak of it, do this work. Together, using this tool, we have the power to transform human life and heal our world. 24

****************** TOOLS FOR PEACE #2 ******************

****************** TOOLS FOR PEACE #3 ******************

The brain has two hemispheres, with different, interconnected functions.

By form and by function, what other living being on this planet is most like a human being? If you answered "a chimpanzee" or "a gorilla" or "an orangutan"— you are wrong.

The brain of the planet also has two hemi spheres. The neurons of one are composed of human beings. The neurons of the other are composed of cetacean beings, dolphins and whales.

By form and by function, like a human being is a know this instinctively, of trees for comfort and

It is time for the two hemispheres to work together, in our individual lives and in the life of the planet. The cetaceans are waiting for us. They were sentient 29 million years before us. We do not have to hold them pris oner in tanks to communicate with them. We do not have to leave our rooms. All that we have to do is sit quietly in meditation, reach out to them--and they are with us.

the living being most tree. As children we and turn to the arms friendship.

Trees can live for hundreds of years. Some live for thousands. They operate at a slower frequency than we do. But our shared vertical form implies our function. We are the living beings who connect upper and lower, who weave together the energies of the heavens and the energies of the Earth. Peace is the harmony of Earth and heaven. The life of a tree is a constant weaving. When we work with the trees, when we join our energy and dreams of Peace with theirs, we bring the time of Peace upon this world a little closer.

The word Peace comes from the root "to bind together." In the past, shaman/healers worked with animal guides. Think of the planetary healing we make possible when we join together with the cetaceans. Sit quietly, eyes closed. Feel the rise and fall of your breath. Move out with it into the sea of consciousness. See and feel the presence of cetaceans around you. Find a particular cetacean friend. Swim together, dive together, leap through waves joyously. Do this again and again until the sense grows stronger. Know that somewhere on this planet a living cetacean reaches out to you, swims with you. Feel its songs. Let your own soun ding voice reach out a song too. Before our ships polluted the waters with noise, the songs of the cetaceans could be heard from one end of the ocean to the other. Now, let us reach out in the sea of mind and sing of Peace, of joy, of healing.

Find a particular tree friend, in your yard, on the street, in a park, in the woods. Touch it, hold it, hug it, sit beside it. Feel your body press into its bark. Close your eyes and feel that you are slowly melting into the tree, merging with it, becoming one with it. Feel your energy start to slow down, and the energy of the tree speed up. You are building a spiral bridge of energy between you. Feel it move up and down your bodies, and then upward to the heavens and down into the Earth. Now, fill your mind and body with visions of Peace, dreams of Peace, prayers for Peace. Feel them spiral outward, weaving Earth and heaven together. And feel that energy spin back into you, strengthening you and the tree as Peace workers.

We are the planet's shapers, makers of things and of beauty. The cetaceans are the planet's connectors, dreamers, pattern-singers. Let us build spiral coves where we can swim together, dance together, sing together — first in our minds and then in the world. Let us make sharing and learning and healing places. Let us weave our ways of sentience together. This is the power of Peace made possible. This is the planet's dream of conscious evolution.

For thousands of years, people have turned to the trees as oracles. Now, it is our turn to speak to them--of Peace. For thousands of years the trees have been inspiring humans. They have given us shade, beauty, food, wood for fires, for shelter, for making things. To inspire means literally "to breathe." We breathe in oxygen and the trees give it out. They take in the carbon dioxide we exhale. Trees and humans breathe, inspire each other.

Now we humans have the capacity to destroy this world. The wisdom the cetaceans with to share with us is about how to live fully spi ritual lives— in our bodies, in the world, in communion with the planet itself. Destruction is not possible when a species knows this. So let us reach out to the cetaceans. They are waiting. Each time a human and a cetacean connect, the neurons in the planet's living brain all shimmer with new possibilities. Each time a human and cetacean share their dreams of Peace, the day of planetary trans formation is brought closer.

Trees are the lungs of this planet. Part of our Peace work must be ending the destruction of the Earth's forests. Visualize the re greening of this world, ,the rebirth of its wooded places, its jungles and rain forests. Without them, all life on this planet is threatened with extinction. Plant a tree for peace. Plant circles of trees that we can gather in for prayer and meditation. Encourage others to do this. Teach others how to join with the trees and work with them.

Continued on Page 32 25

Inappropriate because we have nothing to be ashamed of. If you're alive to read these words then you've survived in a society that has a mega-deathwish for us. And whatever a person has done (that hasn't hurt others) that's allowed them £.£ survive is basically just that! Whether those past actions are still appropriate in a time of growing truth is for each person to decide. I wanted to shake all the lesbians and faggots that had ever known that young man and say, "Hey, folks, get with it! That's part of our job. This guy can't get over his prejudices until we show him that he can. Our truth makes it possible. If we're hiding who we are, he's gonna think we've got something to hide and he's gonna keep swallowing the lies that soci ety dishes out. Shame is totally inappropri ate in our lives and judging ourselves is one of the stupidest habits i know of. What other people think of us once we've let the truth flow is not our concern at all. But if we're judging ourselves, babe, we're doin' damage!"

... OF fl REFUGEE by clere englebert

PREFACE: Words have played a large part in my life. They are completely a cultural thing. They're something that humans invented— to be an aid. and how often i've seen them used to separate people! so in these words that i've written, i've taken the bizarre step of leav ing blanks— for you to fill in. Use whatever word(s) feel right within you (goddess, god, the divine, Christ, buddha, the eternal, alia, yaweh, wakantaka....) or just leave it blank. That's just as appropriate! There's countless words in a million languages, living and dead. That which we speak of cannot be trapped in our tiny words--it's infinitely greater. Please don't let words divide us— that's such a waste and abuse of a valuable tool.

Individual people make up society and society creates its culture. The main culture that we're living in now is very sick. It's a death culture— one that refuses to cherish the earth and all beings on/in it. (There's no separation— being on the earth is being in the earth. Our bodies are made up of material that are being borrowed from it.) It's not a culture that's worth identifying with— in fact it's much healthier not to. As a sissy child, i learned early how to live out in the open. The identification with the main culture just wasn't there. The southern woods where i grew up also had no identification with the main culture. They were just woods; part of the earth. A place where the heart of a new being could open freely within nature and know the blessing of a human body on planet earth, what can i say, folks--if you're readin' it you're livin' it!

My actions (the choices that i make that are visible) are my signatures on time. I can create love in each situation through my abil ity to change and adapt. There are no "minor times." Every moment, every second the gate is being opened. The message is being deliv ered. I am m e e t i n g __________ and how do i respond? The only thing that is required is to do my best right now. All my resolutions, all my intentions about using my will power in the future are just fantasies. Will is some thing of now, of the constant present moment.

Then along came hippie time and letting the identification with the main culture fall away completely with the flowering of an alterna tive culture. I learned that within the framework of a capitalist society a new cul ture could be built by very conscientiously directing the green energy ($) that passes along to us. I learned to keep asking myself, "What am i buying from this main culture— literally and figuratively?" Paying good money for poison didn't make sense then and it don't make sense now.

Truth flows out of love and vice versa. To let this truth show in every aspect of my life and allow it to grow deeper requires courage (another word for will) and imagination. The imagination to see myself differently, out of whatever rut of habit i've created and then the courage to just do it. Courage because its not usually easy, especially when dealing with the lack of inertia that comes from years of not changing. Change is a lot like water, with little changes joining together to make bigger changes easier.

Society as a whole cannot heal unless it knows the truth of our being--unless it hears the words "I am gay" coming from its daughters and sons, mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, neighbors and co-workers. __________ already loves us, but this society has got a ways to go. Truth is not separate from love. No matter what words we use, our lives are our only religion and how we live them is pretty vital. We are called upon for a major healing and the love within us will not let us down-

Two of the ways that the truth of my life becomes part of the world in through my words and my actions. I was hitchhiking recently and got picked up by a young straight man. In the course of our talking i mentioned that i was gay. He was quiet for a while, then he said, "You're the first gay person i've ever met." All i could say was, "No, i'm not. I'm just the first honest one." But, inside me i was burning with a totally inappropriate shame for all the gay people he'd known in his life.

Continued on Page 32 26

"I want to get lost in the crowd. space is too small for me."

I have this theory--every story of revenge begins with love. That's the way it is with me.

Jay was scared. I had been scared too when I was first coming out in the mid-seventies. The worst thing you could catch then was syph ilis. Regardless, coming to terms with one's sexuality is an internal process, but I fig ured I might be able to help Jay.

There was this gay bar in southwest Louisiana. It was on the other side of the English bayou off a little-used asphalt road on the edge of a swamp. It didn't have a name, but gay folks from the area knew where it was. Occasionally men from Houston went there. "Just slumming," they joked.

"Jay, I've lived in San Francisco and New Orleans, and, believe me, cities are not ne cessarily the pot at the end of the rainbow for gay people."

The bar had a tin roof and an all-weather fan on the slide window. The owner said he couldn't afford air conditioning. There was a patio on the back surrounded by a wooden fence. That's where I met Jay.

"But you left," Jay said. "And came back." "But why?"

It was a Saturday afternoon. The drag queens were at home getting ready for that night's show, and only a few men were inside watching a football game on television.

"A sense of family brought me back. I'm out with my parents. They're not exactly thrilled with the idea but they accept my homosexuality because I am family.

I got bored and went out onto the patio. Jay sat on a bench. He was thin, and had thick blonde hair that hung down over his forehead. I walked over to him. Herbert." We shook hands.

"My name

"My last lover was from New Orleans," I con tinued. "He met my family and they accepted us. I never met his family and we lived in the same city."

is Frank

We talked and drank throughout the afternoon into the evening. We left before the drag queens made their appearance on the makeshift stage, and went to my place.

"My name is Jay."

I haven't seen you around here before. you new in town?" I joked.

All of this

Are

The next morning Jay woke with a start. "My God, I've got to get home." He stumbled out of bed. "I drank too much last night."

"Unfortunately, no." "Why the 'unfortunately?'" I asked.

We drove back to the bar to pick up Jay's car. The owner had told him it would be safe overnight.

"I was supposed to be in school--college-either Tulane or Rice, but my father is very ill. I'm helping my mother."

Jay half-dozed in my car as we drove west along Highway 90 to get back to the bar. As we passed Reverend Wilton's Baptist church, Jay became wide-awake as though some self activating alarm had gone off. "My mother goes to church here." He slumped down in the front seat.

"I'm sorry." "Thanks. Anyway, come this spring this little old country mouse is going to be a city mouse." "Don't be so quick to put down the country," I said.

"Don't be silly," I said. 27

Jay was almost on

About the same time the media began to focus their attention on the AIDS epidemic. MagaÂ zines ran cover stories; television news seemed to run stories daily; and it became the disease of the week for television melodrama.

the floor. Rev. Wilton was a local evangelist. He had formed his own variation of the Baptist church, saying that the Southern Baptists were too liberal and the Catholic cajuns immoral. New people who previously had come to southern Louisiana because of the oil boom flocked to his church.

As a result, I suppose, sometimes it was a real effort to get Jay to go to the bar. He resisted going, not because it was a bar, but because it was a gay bar. I thought of our l i t t l e f o r a y s out to the bar as being therapeutic.

We got back to the bar; Jay's car kicked up gravel as he sped away. Even though I had given Jay my number, I never expected to see him again.

It was Saturday; Jay and I were going to the bar to celebrate the birthday of Bobby, one of the popular drag queens. We wanted to have a good time with the big celebration. Even Jay seemed in high spirits.

Weeks later I was getting ready to go to the hardware store and the phone rang. It was Jay. He wanted to come over. "Sure," eager.

I said,

hoping

I didn't

sound

Jay and I were in his car, and as we crossed the small bridge over English bayou, Jay said, "Oh, no."

too

When Jay got to my house, I felt awkward. How should I greet him? I gave him a fraternal pat on the shoulder.

I looked up. At the edge of the parking lot in front of the bar near the road, Rev. Wilton and a handful of pickets marched. A placard read, "AIDS is G o d ' s j u d g m e n t agai n s t homosexuals."

"I was getting ready to go to the hardware store when you called," I said. "This doorÂ knob is broken. Even when the door is locked, all you have to do is push it and it opens." "It's not the doorknob," he said. hinge. Do you have a screwdriver?"

"I'm sorry," Jay said. He might recognize me."

"I can't go in there.

"It's the "I know.

I got the screwdriver and Jay tightened the hinge. Jay fixed the door.

Just let me out."

"You're angry at me," Jay said. "This isn't the time or the place for this."

"Success. store."

You saved me a trip to the hardware "How will you get back?"

"Little old genius me," he said jokingly.

"I'll get a ride."

"I like the way your mind works. I think I'll keep you." I pushed the hair off his forehead and kissed him on the mouth.

He put his hand on my shoulder, but I scooted out and Jay sped off. Nothing much happened at the bar, a little name calling, but after a while Rev. Wilton and his friends left.

Jay and I started seeing each other on the weekends and a little during the week. Jay was a tinkerer. He liked to fix things, or, more precisely, he liked to take things apart and put them back together. "I wish I were as mechanical as you," him.

I got drunk. It was Bobby's birthday, and the pickets had given us a sense of unity. But I was sorry that Jay had left.

I told When I got home, Jay wasn't there. I really didn't expect him, but I was going to call him the next day. I owed him some anger. He had to stop being so afraid.

"All it takes is patience," he said. "I suppose I don't have much."

I tried calling him the next few days. There was no answer. Gradually fear overcame my anger. If only I could contact him. Then it happened: I called him and his number had been chang-ed to an unlisted one. Shortly afterward, I got a note from Jay. "Perhaps Rev. Wilton is correct. Maybe AIDS is God's judgment against us. Please don't try to contact me any more. Jay."

"We all want what we can't have," Jay said. "Maybe what we want for ourselves we can get from each other." "Perhaps," Jay said. He gave me his phone number but not his last name. I figured that would come in time so I didn't press him about it.

The next few days I sat around the house and

drank. I called a friend for solace. I told him what had happened. He told me he had seen Rev. Wilton interviewed on local television. My friend laughed as he told me Wilton was offering a counseling service for homosexuals who wanted to be heterosexual. My friend camped, "We don't hate homosexuals, just homosexuality."

He said, Savior."

"I deny Jesus Christ

as my Lord and

I started to squeeze the trigger. "You promised," he begged. I kept on squeezing the trigger until the gun clicked, then a series of clicks followed in rapid succession.

My hurt became hatred directed against Rev. Wilton. I was amazed at how quickly a plan formed in my head. I only had to buy a gun.

"It's empty," Wilton said.

I called Rev. Wilton and told him I was a homosexual who wanted counseling. He agreed to see me. I parked my car a few blocks away and walked, the automatic concealed under my coat. It was early evening, and Wilton and I appeared to be the only ones there.

I tossed the gun in his lap and started to walk out. Leaving his office, I saw a picture on the wall of Wilton with a teen-age boy who was holding a football. I guessed the boy to be his son because of the strong resemblance. The boy didn't look at all like Jay, but his hair fell across his forehead just like Jay's hair had. I wanted to reach into the picture and push the hair back out of the boy's eyes. I got out of Wilton's church and cried all the way back to my car.

He greeted me with a smile and ushered me into his office. He didn't shake my hand. Maybe he recognized me from the bar when he had picketed it. If he had, he didn't mention it. He sat ramrod straight in his chair, his fingers splayed across the top of his desk. He had a well-scrubbed, immaculate appearance, a black pompadour, severely judgmental eyes and a Rolex watch.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your Money...

He told me his fee and I gave him the money. He then told me about the power of prayer and the need for discipline. "Fight your temptaÂ tions," he exhorted. He said down the road I might want to consider dating a nice Christian girl. And read your Bible. "You do have a Bible?" he asked. "A King James version," I smiled. "Hmmm." He seemed disappointed. "Is there anything else before we conclude our session?" k i

"Just one thing." I stood up and pulled the gun from under my coat. "Don't move and keep your hands on your desk." It was as though I was hearing my own voice from miles away."

You can't take it with you, but you can decide who gets it.

"What is this?" he asked.

Be a Hero!

Fear was in his voice and his hands trembled. "Are you going to kill me?" he asked. "Maybe," I said. yourself."

"But there is a way to save

Remember the Community.

"How?"

Prepare a Will today.

"Deny Jesus." "What?" he asked.

A community service m e ssa ge from this publication and the

I said it again. He swallowed.

National Association of Black and White M en Together.

"I deny," he said. THE PERFECT GIFT FOR 1990 the new RFD CALENDAR LOOK FOR IT THIS FALL!

"That won't do," I said. "Say, 'I deny Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.' Say it or I will kill you." 29

L0 6 A N DIES IN HOLLYWOOD by Jack Nichols

Hoiiywoodi . . C a l i f o r n i a

Carter was born in Daytona Beach (November 5, 1954) and was reared in Tampa, where he is now buried. His childhood dream was to "dance upon the stage and be among the stars." He first left Florida at age 13, attending for a time the same Hollywood high school that Mari lyn Monroe attended. His impersonations of Monroe were considered uncanny for their accu racy, and some believed Carter a kind of medi um for his ability to recall female spirits in his appearances.

Logan Carter (known to southern fans as "Roxanne Russell") died June 23, 1988, at Hollywood Community Hospital, of complications due to AIDS. He was 33 years old. In recent years Carter had s uccessfully launched a career as a Hollywood actor, ap pearing in films and TV sitcoms. His was a life filled with the color and magic of the entertainment world. In 1974 he won the title for the Miss Florida Female Impersonator's Pageant. During the 1970s his pioneering shows were a major draw for southern audi ences. He was best known, perhaps, for his impersonations of Marilyn Monroe, though much of his stage work found him changing gender to the Charles Aznavour song, "What Makes a Man a Man?"

In Manhattan, where he also lived for several years, Carter distinguished himself as a model, an actor, and a make-up artist. His male and female images appeared in major fashion magazines, including Harper's Bazaar (Italy) and Mode International (Paris). He shared the fashion stage with such models as Pat Cleveland and Iman, and was sought out by some of the country's foremost photographers, including Lynn Davis, whose portrait of him appears, along with one of Ronald Reagan, in her books.

In an essay ("Butcher Than Thou" in The New Q&y. L i b g JLHti2.Il Bggk) author Jack Nichols called Carter "an incredible androgyne" and says Carter's contributions to the cause of mail liberation have been immense. Also, said the author, "He was one actor who never hid the fact that he was gay."

Carter's more recent TV appearances included a spot in the Pat Benatar video, "Sex as a Weapon," where he is shown as a beautiful woman lying on a leopard-skin bed. He ap peared opposite Elliott Gould in the sitcom E,R. (Emergency Room). Gould mistakes him for a real woman and eagerly flirts with him throughout the show. He appeared in the Vanessa Redgrave movie, Second Serve, as an impersonator admired by Redgrave as an example of impersonation itself. He had a small part in Repo Man, a popular black comedy. His most recent appearance found him playing a fero-

Between movies Carter appeared in the cast of the chic West Hollywood dinner club, La Cage Au Folles, where he changed from a female beauty into an equally impressive male. This changeover was first captured on film by movie-makers at New York University where academics produced Gender showing Carter in both male and female garb. The film was used to encourage debate about gender politics, explains Nichols, a long-time friend of the actor, and it was shown in classrooms across the country.

Continued. 30

on Page 32

O U T W IT H T H E H I L L B IL L Y * bij 'fer'i'Lj DeLimont Howdy, ya'll; and welcome to the OzarksJ Pull up a stump and let's jaw a while. They call me the Rocky Top Hillbilly around these parts and I'm glad to meet ya! I've been hearin' a lot from the city folk about how they love our country lifestyle out here in these hills; so I'm here to give ya a little guided tour. With these little visits, we'll try to cover it all -- from hillbilly cookin' to some scenic tours of this great countryside. That's a lot of territory; so I hope you're man enough to keep up. JViaybe I'd best start with a little personal history. First thing, there's an introduction to be made. That tali' handsome blonde ya see workin' in our garden over yonder is Mountain B o y -better known as my better-half, Brad. He's sorta quiet and shy; but he's my hillbilly heaven. Anyway; Brad and I own Rocky Top Farm -- situated on the very top of a hill above big Beaver Lake here in Northwest Arkansas. It's just a few chickens, cats, our dog, and some goats on some pasture ground -- but it's right to our likin'. In my 36 years, I've seen a lot of the ole USA; but I ain't never found nothin' to compare to the peace of these hills. Nude beaches in California, hot nightlife in Florida, or the cocktail circuit in New England just don't measure up in my book. But enough about me. Drag your heavy end up and let's be off to our first point of in terest. Best bring the suntan oil, cause we're headed down to Beaver Lake. Don't mind the country music; my ole Ford pickup won't run without it. Beaver Dam was constructed in 1966 on the main stem of the White River just northwest of Eureka Springs, Arkansas (we'll visit that special town in a later get-together). The dam is used to control local flood water and to generate hydroelectric power. Us hillbillys may live in the back woods; but we still like all the "comforts of home". The lake created by Beaver Dam covers over 28,000 acres and has around 480 miles of natural shoreline. The long, warm summers of the Ozarks (usually from late March through mid-October) allows for lots of fun in the sun. There's water skiing, boating, scuba diving, swimming, hiking trails, natural caves, camping grounds, and many secluded alcoves where even skinny-dipping is avail able. After all; Arkansas is "The Natural State". Fishing at Beaver Lake is second to none. The fisherman's paradise holds largemouth, smallmouth bass, crappie, bream, channel cat, white bass, trout, and huge striper that often weigh over forty pounds. Now that's a BIG fish I Since the Ozarks has been judged to be gay (up from the 10> national average); the spark ling blue water of Beaver Lake is a favorite meeting place for our community. Sunbathing, camping, and swimming areas are always a mass of unforgettable "scenery"; something for everyone, that's the Ozarks. The mountains surrounding the lake are lush green pillers dotted with every type of wildflower imaginable. The air always seems to be full of their scent even over the smell of the hot suntan oil as you browse the lakeside retreats. Well, we best be gettin' back up to Rocky Top before we all over-work our eyeballs and libidos,

coniinued on paye 31

32.

' Tookfor Peace, Trees and humans have the ability to connect Earth and heaven. Working together, we can heal the world.

...of a Refuaee My words are the songs of my life. Let them be worth saying. Let them be worth singing. To only speak the truth and only do the truth often requires more silence and less action. A changing of priorities till my inner life (that which nourishes the brilliant light growing within us) is my priority. This chan ging may not happen as a sudden flash (or it may), but the longing for it is enough to make it happen. A quiet listening in the mind/ heart.

Reprinted by permission. TOOLS FOR PEACE is a New York-based meditation project and information-sharing organization. More TOOLS FOR PEACE are available. Send a long SASE to TOOLS FOR PEACE, PO Box 20219, NY NY 10025-9992.

Loqan Carter

i take refuge in __________ i take refuge in that which _________ _ teaches i take refuge in those who know

Out

with the

cious drag hooker brandishing a switchblade in the Carrie Fisher movie, Hollywood Vice Squad, where he dominates the first segment of the film. Carter is survived by his lover, Mark Herman, by his grandparents, by sisters Mary and Marthel, and by Frank, his brother. Until the onset of his illness (complicated by a 1986 foot injury sustained in a motorcycle acci dent) Carter's Hollywood career had shownbright promise.

ttillbilhjs

Squat yerself down here on the stump again and let's let our breathing get back to nor mal while I shoot you a few general facts about this country life.

His friend, Jack Nichols, says, "He was the master-mistress of gender illusion. Even more important, he was a real artist. He believed that much of his life had been spent as an educator: teaching large audiences about the negligible line between the masculine and feminine. His friends will remember him as a very bold and honest man, a down-to-earth man whose passions for life and love were immense. He was a man of vision, of compassion, a man who knew how and when to use drama and song."

1) We hillbilly boys ain't dumb. Every gaymale on the prowl out here knows that a con dom is their best buddy. So don't leave home without itl 'Ain't no go if ya don't know" is one of our mottos. 2) Ozark nature is here for everyone; so please don't pick the wildflowers. Leave 'em for the next guy to enjoy. (This, how ever, does not apply to our local men. If they're bloomin' don't just stand there sniffin' the air. )

Michael St. Laurent, who worked with Carter before his own death, wrote that he was "a Florida legend," a "hip-swiveling, b u n bumping, hair-tossing, lip-pursing bundle of mental and visual pyrotechnics."

3) If ya ain't never been horseback ridin', don't try it by yourself. Some of these trails are rough even for us; and we can't have you leavin' with saddle sores instead of friction rash.

Carter's last Florida appearance (June 1987) was at the Miss Gay Universe contest (which he'd won in 1978) where he delivered a mono logue castigating the Reagan administration for a defense build-up that ignores the real enemy, AIDS.

Well, Partner; it's time to gather the eggs and check the still. Ya'll come back and see us again on your next trip through. Maybe we'll get in a visit to Eureka Springs next time.

Carter was always modest about the bouts of fame he enjoyed. Other entertainers remember him as a giver, one who shared with his co workers the secrets of his creative illusions. After receiving the Miss Florida award when he was 19, an interviewer asked him, "Was that like the heights?"

Until then; take care, play safe, and don't let the coals die in the campfire. Editors note: This is the first in a series on life in the Ozarks. If anyone else would like to do a series of articles on the area where they live please let us know.

"Oh, no," answered the young winner, "that was not the heights. There's never the heights. There's always tomorrow." He leaned forward and repeated himself so there could be no misunderstanding: "There's never the heights. There's always tomorrow." 32

ia t& iti

an att u

<9 Mark Sk inner

" EEa c h p h o t o i s a r e c r e a t i o n of5 a d r earn t h a t I h a v e h a d d u r i n g m y R .E .M . s t a g e o f s 1 e e p, I h a v e b e e n s t u d y i n g m y d r e a m s and d r e a m r e s e a r c h since a b o u t 1 9 * 7 9 . I keep a J o u r n a l of 1 t h e m , w r i t i n g them down, sometimes even dr a w i n s q u i c k s k e t c h e s .

the photography of | M a rk

S k in n e r 33

Of his work Mark says, "The term ’lucid dreaming’ aeans to be in full possession of your waking faculties while dreaming and soundly sleeping. This usually happens in your R.E.M. stage of sleep. . . To lucid dream is to think as clearly as ever, freely remember details of your waking life and act delib erately upon conscious reflection."

"The human form represents feelings, emotions and thought movements of myself. The use of the nude human form, at first, was to convey something non-tangible with the human form."

0 Mark Skinner

"These images are the last s t e p in a p r o c e s s o f d r e a m a n a l y s i s for s e l f a w a r e n e s s .

<ÂŁ) Mark Sk inner

Feature:

e -EVALUATING

Food D We haveonlybegun to seriouslyinvestigatetheconnec tionwhichexistsbetweenour emotional,psychologicaland spiritualselvesand thehealthof ourphysicalbodies.Allofus workinginthefieldofalterna tivemedicineare,atbest, pioneers,studyingand wonder ingabouttheinvisiblepowerof human emotionsand theeffect thisinvisiblepowerhasupon the visibleworldofmatter— boththe "matter"thatisourbodiesand the"matter"thatformsthe planet. Healingrequiresacomplete transformationofone'slife.The emotional,psychologicaland spiritualstressesthatexistwithin theexperienceofAIDS penetrate thewholeofone'slife. The fundamental principle thatunderliestheholistic approachtohealth,and tolife,is thateachperson'srealityis createdthroughthepowerofhis orherown beliefs,attitudesand mentalintentions.Thispercep tionchallengestheassumption thatillnessoreventswhichoccur withinourliveshappen at random.Traditionalmedicine assertsthatdis-easeattacksthe bodylikean invasionfrom an outsidesource,theholistic approachassertsthatillnessis createdwhen emotional,psycho logicaland spiritualstresses withinapersonbecomesoover whelmingand thattherelation shipofspecificstressestospecific dis-easesisintimateand identifiable.Therefore,a Willow H ollow R anch

and!

rugs

knowledgeofthisrelationshipis ofcriticalimportancetothe preventionand healingof diseasesand tothemaintenance ofhealth. Itiseasytorecognizeman's influence,forexample,inthe "creation"ofairand water pollution.Our societysharesa "collective"beliefthateconomic concernsarethepriority decision-makinginfluencein almosteverysituation,often timesovershadowinghumani tarianand/orecologicalinterest. Becausesomany peoplehold this"collective"belief,itoperates asanactivecurrentofinfluence upon political,socialand businessdecision-making policies.As aresult,we have "created"apollutedenviron ment becausemostofus,tosome degree,believethateconomic gainismoreimportantthanthe qualityoflife.Thus,theresponsi bilityforthecreationofairand waterpollutionrestsnotonly withthecorporationswhose factoriesreleasetoxinsintothe air,waterand soil,butalsowith eachpersonwhoseown life,in whateverway,reflectsthesame prioritiesand beliefpatterns. The Easternormacrobiotic understandingofAIDS,ofits causeand henceofthepossible methodsoftreatment,is completelydifferentfromthatof theWestern medicalcommunity. Atthispointmostoftheir researchisbasedon theideathat thedis-easeiscausedbyavirus. Thustheway topreventAIDSis

sometimesextremeprecau tions- toprotectoneself."Victim consciousness"means livingin thebeliefthattheworld isan unfairplaceand thatitismostly unfairtoyou. Some victimconsciousnessis considerednormal socialbe havior.Peoplewho liveincities orinhighcrimeratedistricts know how many precautionsare deemed necessarytoprotect themselvesfrombeingmugged, raped,murdered orburglarized. Considerthelegalprecautions thatarcdeemed necessaryin businesstransactionstoavoid beingcheated;thatis,tocom pensateforthefactthatwe assumedishonestyinourtrans actionsratherthanhonesty. Adaptingaform ofvictimcon sciousnesshasbecomenecessary forsurvivalinmostofourenvi ronments.Whilenoneofusfinds itcomfortingtothinkofour selvesashavingafearofbeing victimized,adegreeofvictim consciousnesslivesinusall. Peoplewho havedeveloped AIDS viewbeingaliveasa deeplythreateningexperience. Unlikethepreviouslydescribed formsofvictimconsciousness, Victim Consciousness theseindividualsshareafeeling Victimconsciousnessisa o feitherhavingbeenbom "one perceptionofoneselfsocom pletelylackinginpersonalpower oflife'snaturalvictims,"or believingthattheybeganlife thatonecontinuallyfearsbeing b attlingsuchgreatoddsthatthey takenadvantageoforhurtin neverhad afairchancetomake some way.Thepersonassumes theirliveswork,even fromthe thatheorshewillalwaysbeat beginning.Thecommon some levelofdisadvantagein psychologicalterritoryembodies mostsituationsand therefore atypeorqualityofpowerlessmustalwaystakeprecautions— topreventtransmissionofthe offendingorganism,and theway tocurethedis-easeistodestroy the"viralvillian". From ourpointofview the realcauseofAIDS isthe underlyingbiologicalcondition oftheindividual,inparticular and immune systemthathas beenabused and rendered ineffective.Sotoprevent AIDS and tocureitwe must focuson strengtheningand revivingthe naturalimmune functionofthe human organism.Peoplemust learntoeatand toliveinaway thatsupportsratherthan debilitatesthebody'snatural abilitytodealwithinvading organisms. AIDS,likethenuclearcrisis and thethreatenedconditionof ourecology,isaglobalproblem. Thevirusisnotcontained within theboundariesofany nationbut is,infact,spreadingthroughout theplanet.Itisbecoming thefirst full-scaleplanetaryepidemic. Scientificprojectionswarn that AIDS willtakethelivesofatleast 100millionpeoplebeforeany degreeofcontrolIsestablished.

nessthatcomesfrom believing thatwho and what we areis simplynotacceptablewithinour presentsocialenvironment;for example,beinghomosexual,a prostituteoradrugaddict.AIDS hasemerged inepidemic propor tionsamong certainsocial groups— mainlyhomosexuals, intravenousdrugusers,Haitians, prostitutes,and certainpopula tionsofAfrica.The peoplein thesegroupsareamong themost powerlesson ourplanet,and thereforethemost vulnerable.

The Earth Has AIDS

AIDS resultsintwomajor physicalillnesses:pneumocystis, whichisaseriouslunginfection, and Kaposisarcoma, whichis thedevelopmentofcancerous lesionsbeneath theskin.Imagine theearthasifitwereahuman being.Now considerthemassive destructionoftherainforestsof South Americaand thedestruc tionoftheforestsofNorth Americaand Europefromacid rain.Theseforestsarethelungs oftheearthand theyarerapidly becomingunabletoproduce The Planetary Connection oxygen.Further,theairover What aretheelementspresent everymajorcityoftheearthis pollutedand thispollutionis inour world thatmake it spreadingtoeven lesspopulated possibleforAIDS toexist?Are regions.Theearthhasdeveloped we meant tolearnsomething "pneumocystis." fromthisepidemic?Does this Lookatthelesionsthatare dis-easeholdasymbolic createdwithintheearthby message? We areunaccustomed to nuclearexplosionsunderground and thelesionsthatarecreated thinkingaboutplanetEarthas havingconsciousness.Most ofus throughabuseoftheland.These haveneverconsidered thatthe destructivelesionsarephysically earthexistsasaformoflifethat analogoustoKaposi sarcoma— cancerouslesionslocated isindependentofthehuman experienceand that,asaformof beneaththesurfaceofthehuman body.Theearthhas life,theearthhasspiritand intelligence.Thisisaperception "Kaposisarcoma." The ionosphereof thatisnotnoveltocertain theearth— that spiritualtraditions,butmany protectiveatmos^ individualshavenevergiven phericwomb inwhich suchmysticalperceptions theearthresides— scientificormedicalcredibility, mush lessseriousenvironmental symbolicallyrepresentsthe earth'simmune system. concerns. Recently,aholehasbeenfound Keep inmind though,that AIDS thrivesupon and isdrawn intheionosphereabove theSouthPole.Scientists tovictimconsciousness.The thaatofnucleardevastationhas do notknow theextentof theeffect(s)thatthishole made usallpotentialvictims— willhaveupon theearth, includingtheearthitself.Not onlydo we now holdeachother buttheyarecritically concerned. "nudearlyhostage,"we are Itmay bethattheearth,a holdingtheearthnudearly c o n sciousnessthatisasaliveand hostageaswell,becausethe v i t a laswe arc,issufferingfrom earthwillnotsurviveanudear "AIDS" asaresultofthesame waranybetterthanwe will. oppressingvictimconsciousness Itispossiblethatthereason thatisthreateningallofhumanthattheAIDSepidemichas exploded upon usnow isthatthe ity. earthitselfhasAIDS— theresult, asinthecaseofhuman beings,of Can AIDS Be Healed? Thequestionisnotcan emotionalpsychologicaland physicalstresseshavingreached AIDS— orforthatmatterany abreakingpoint.Theearthitself dis-ease— behealed,butwhat aretherequirementswhichmust isnow avictimofthesame bemet inorderforhealingto stressesthatthreatenhuman occur? survival.

Ifapersonbelievesdis-easeto beaconditionwhichexistsonly withinthe"physical"body,then forthatpersontherequirements forhealingwillcenterprimarily on respondingtotheneedsofthe physicalbody.Medicine,surgery and more traditionalapproaches toassisttherecoveryofhealth willbetheonlyconsiderations. Ifdis-easeisrecognizedasa conditionthatiscreatedthrough stressintheemotional,psycho logicaland spiritualareasofa person'slife,thentherequire ments forhealingmust include attentiontothesefactors.My experiencehasbeenthat completehealingoccursonly when theunderlyingemotional, psychologicaland spiritual stressesaretreatedasequal contributingelementstodis-ease. The Spiritual Connection

Attheheartofthejourneyof healingisthechoicetoremain withinthephysicalexperience oflife.The strongests anchortothe physical L— -

thatone'slifeis valueless,meaning- Mi lessand lovelessfuels ■ '' thepowerofthedis ease.And yet,value, meaningand lovecannotbe createdupon demand.They emergefrom withinone'sbeing, when apersonisreadytoseek them.Prayer,meditationand listeningtoone'sinnerguidance arestrongmedicines.Prayerand introspectivethoughtignitea levelofcourageand inner wisdom fromwhichsprings forththenaturalhealingcapacity ofthehuman spirit.Ninety percentofhuman beingssay

theybelieveinlifeafterdeath and inGod. Activationofthose beliefsand ofasenseofpurpose isthemostimportantfactor anyonecanusetocreatehealth. Inatimeofdespair,onesimple questionmay servetoinitiate hope— "WhatcanIleam from thisexperienceinorderto becomeamorespiritually maturepersons?" We may nothaveavacine readilyavailableforuseinthis epidemic,butwhat we do have isthevaccinewhichcomes from theheart.We havelovetogive alongwiththeotherrichesofthe human experience— we have compassion,hopeand under standing. Thecirsesthatarefacingusas aplanetaryfamilywouldbemet withverydifferentreactionsif we couldallbeginthinkingof ourselvesasunitedinourefforts tohelphealtheseproblems— itis ourenvironment whichispolluted; itisourworldthat isthreatenedwith

nuclear annihilation;itis ourfamilywho hasAIDS.Itisall ofuswho sharethesecrises— and everyoneofthesecrises challengestheway inwhich we seeourselvesinrelationshipto ourworldand ourparticipation inthisworld asmembersofthe same family. Loveistheonlyvaccinethat canhealtheseillnesses. (ExcerptedfromAIDS: Passage way to Transformation byCaroline Myss & Norman Shealy) ■Sm u * Heads' d 983 Orawng by Ravsn WolKanca

Feature: Re-evaluating Food and D rugs

W h a t is W h o l is m ? Most peopleenterintothe holisticworld throughcrisis.The breakdownoftheirhealthisthe reasontheybegintoseekan alternativeway ofthinkingabout life.Ineverycase,nomatter what theparticulartrauma may be,thepersonincrisisexists,in thatmoment,inhisorhermost vulnerableand weakened condition.Having toseekhelp, perhapsforthefirsttime,can itselfbeanoverwhelming experience. The holisticapproachtohealth isonlynow emergingintoour lives.Thetechnologiesthat reflectawholisticcosmologyare unfamiliartomany and, therefore,notunderstood in termsofwhat makes these technologieseffective.The reasonforthisisthat,ingeneral, peopledo notenterintothe healingprocessalreadyskilledin thepracticesofvisualization, biofeedback,B'^genics,yogaor meditation. Wholismand holismaretwo termsrepresentingaphilosophi calviewoflifewhichrecognizes thatallofthesystemsoflifein thisuniverseareinterconnected. The termsthemselvesdifferin thattheword "holism"isrooted intheword "holy",and therefore absorbsintoitsdefinitionthe spiritualrealityoflife. A holisticapproachtohealth orhealingbeginswiththe assumptionthatthe"cause"of theillnessisdirectlyrelatedto theemotional,psychologicaland spiritualstressfactorspresentin one'slife.The perceptionof holismrecognizesthatitis impossibletomaintainastrong, healthyphysicalbody ifaperson livesorworksinanenvironment ofcontinualemotionalstress. Prolongedand intensefeelingsof angerorresentmentorfearpene tratethephysicalbody.The processofcauseand effectwhich existsbetweenemotionsand physicalform iseasilyrecog nizedwhen theillnessisanulcer; itisnotoftenasobviousinthe instancesofcancerorheart W illow Hollow R anch

disease.Treatingtheconditionof thephysicalbody whiledisre gardingtheconditionofone's emotionsand psychologicalstate cannoteffectcompletehealing. Physicaltreatmentofanillness mostoftenresultsinatemporary reprieveofanillness.Surgery may beabletoremoveatumor, butsurgeryisincapableof removingthepainofan emotionalhurtortrauma. Healingatthisleveloftheillness cannotbedonebyanyhealth carepractitioners.Itrequiresa personaltransformationof consciousnesstoalignoneself withone'ssouland towork on one'sindividualpurposeinlife. Theholisticmodelofhealth and healingisthepatientwho empowers thehealingprocess, notthephysician.The holistic approachrequiresthefull participationofthepatientinhis orherhealingprocess.The holisticapproachrecognizesthat illnessiscreatedwhen emo tional,psychologicaland spiritualstressesbecomeover whelming,and thusbreak through intophysicalmanifesta tion.Completehealingofany physicaldysfunction,therefore, must includethehealingofone's innersymptoms. Themostessentialshiftin awarenessapersonmust ignite on hisorherjourneyofhealingis thatthetechnologiesofthe holisticapproacharedependent upon thewillingnessand capacityofthepatienttoenter intothedisciplineofinnerwork. Theholisticapproachtohealing doesnotaccommodatethe attitudeof"helplessness,"but, rather,encouragestheposition thatoptionsand choicesare alwayspresentinone'slife,even ifthesechoicesholdthepossibil ityofignitingatotaltransforma tionofone'slifepatterns, relationshipsandoccupation. Which Approach Is Right For Me?

Itisveryeasytobecome overwhelmed bytheabundance ofapproachesavailableinthe holisticfield.Psychotherapy, nutritionalprograms,homeo pathic,naturopathicandacupuncture/acupressuretreat 39

ments,biofeedback,herbalism, and visualizationtechniquesare justsomeofthemany methods ofholisticmethods. Beforeanychoicescanbe made,everyindividualmust identifytheoriginofthestresshe orsheisexperiencinginorder thattheappropriatechoicesof therapycanbemade. Itdoesa personlittlegood tochooseacu puncturetreatmentswhen what may berequiredisacomplete evaluationofone'snutritional program.Nor ismuch assistance foundinchoosingtoalterone's nutritionalprogram iftheheart oftheproblemisarelationship thatisnotworking.And nutritioncannotcompensatefor thechemicalabuseofsmoking. Itisalsocrucialtounderstand thatapproachinganyoftheses healingtechnologieswiththe attitudethattheywill,inand of themselves,bringabouthealing iserroneous.What allofthese methodshaveincommon isthat thepatientempowers the process.No therapiston the

planetcanhelpaperson who refusestorecognizethatcertain patternsinhisorherlifearenot working. Theholisticapproachto healingincreasesindepthand magnitudewhen itisrecognized thatwhatoneisactually choosingisanempowered way ofliving. Thealternative treatmentfieldrepresentsthe firststepspeoplecantake toward realizingthateachofus canchange what isnotworking forusinourlives,thatnoneofus needstofeelthatwe arevictims oflifeorofaparticulardis-case, and thatwe canlivelifefullyand dynamically.No matterwhat pathtoward wholenessaperson choosestotake,and nomatter what specifictechnologiesa personelectstobringintohisor herhealingregime,theyall inevitablyleadtothesame realizationthatnoneofushasto livealifewithoutpowerand choice.Becoming wholeisthe finalliberation.

W e A re W h at W e E at by Paul DuBols Naturalfoods,aswe know them today,arenotasnaturalas we arcIt'dtobelieve.Naturalin thesenseproduced by nature, fax'from pretensionor artificiality,isnotalwaystrue when theterm naturalisused to markettheproducts.Thegreater percentageofthefood we eathas beenexposed (treated)with chemicalsinoneformoranother. Whetherchemical fertilizer,in secticides,processingorthe additionofpreservatives,our fcx>dsarenotastheywerein theirnaturalstatesofdayslong gone. Therearemany factorsoutof ourcontrol.We stillhaveoptions inspiteofthisfact.Freedomof choicebecomesimperative.We need toeducateourselvesinnu trition,and takeactionifwe wish tobehealthy,happyand enjoy lifetoitsfullest.

TheFood and Drug Admini strationsimplycannotorwillnot regulatefoodsintheway they areproduced and processed. Theydo justenough tokeepthe majorityofftheirbacks,while supportingthefood industry. Bigbusinessdictatescontrolover themajorityoffoodsinthis countryand would killtheir grandmothersiftheycouldget thelastpennyoutofher.They

eitherdon'trealizeorcarethat theearthand itspeopleare becomingillasaresultofthis. Perhapscontrolisoutofcontrol. Healthisan importantissuein todaysbusyhecticworld.AIDS isthelatestofdis-cascdbody conditionstoexpressthat something,somewhereiswrong inour world.Man, animal,plant, fish,birdorreptilenormally doesn'tbecomesickunder naturalconditions.When they do,theyinstinctivelyknow how tohealthemselves.Unlessof course,thecauseisoutoftheir control.Thisappearstobethe situationinwhich we areliving today. We arefacingarudeawaken ingasthiseraunfolds.Yetwe areslowtoopen oureyes,speak up and educateourselves.Many ofusarebecoming illourselves orarcaffectedbytheillnessof someone we know and love. Preventionisstillthebest medicinethereis.Inoursociety, therearehighexpectations placedondoctorsand medicines. We need towake up!Thereisno magic wand towave when it comestohealth,nutrition,and wellbeingintoday'sworld.We asapeoplearebecoming ill,and theresponsibilityforchangelies within usand usalone. Awarenessisthefirststep when we begintorealize problemsinourlives.We need toevaluateourhealth,ourlife stylesand ourattitudes.We live inatimeinw'hichthesystem,in actuality,doesnotprovide natural,complete,orhealthy foodsources,and lacksinpro vidingnutritional,chemicalfree foodthatourbodiesrequire. A good ,healthyhabitto developisthereadingoflabels on thefoodyoubuy.Label readingcanbeanumbing experiencewhiletryingtoFigure outthecontentsand thequality ofpackaged food.Faced withthe taskofinterpretinglonglistsof "realfood"ingredients,plus flavorenhancers,dyes,stabiliz ersand otherseemingly mysteriouschemicalcom pounds,theaverageshopper findsitalmostimpossibleto makeadiscriminatingchoice. Under federallaw,ingredients 40

must belistedinorderofde creasingpredominanceby weight. On April18,1986theFood and Drug Administration(FDA) approved regulationswhich allowallfreshfruits,vegetables, grains,nuts,teas,spicesand some meatstobeexposed to radioactivematerials.Propo nentsclaimfoodirradiationwill extendfoodshelflife,destroy insectpests,controlbacterial

RADURA growth,sterilizefoodatvery highradiationdosesand control theripeningtimeofsomecrops. Othersconcerned withradiation levels,citescientificstudies showinghealthdamage aswell asinsufficientevidenceofsafety asthebasisforconcludingthat thehazardsoffoodirradiation faroutweighthepotential benefits.Againthisbehaviorand attitudeofgreed,and lackof concernfortheconsumer(which isyouand me)exists. Our bodieswerenotdesigned forthislifestyleand thisispartof thereasonwhy we arelessthan healthywhilemany intheworld areexperiencingAIDS. FDA regulationsrequired writtennotificationtothe consumeronlyuntilApril18, 1988.Afterthat,noticeof irradiationinvolvesnothing morethanpresentationofthe "RADURA". Thissymbol resemblesastylizedflower.It doesnotconveyamessageof potentialhazardnordoesitgive consumersreasontothink "caution"isadvised.Inaddition, nolabelofanykindisrequired forpreparedorpackaged food norforrestaurantfoods,school cafeteriafoods,oranyinstitu tionalfoodswhichcontain irradiatedingredients.Need I saymuch moreatthistimeabout thetreatmentmany ofourfoods

receivebeforewe evenobtain them? Asidefromthecontamination factor,animportantaspectto considerishow much nutritional valueisactuallyinthefoodswe consume. Much ofthefood we eatarefillersand containvery little,ifany,"live"nutritional valuethatisrequired fornormal maintenanceand health.A good indicationisovereatingand carryingextraweight.Many of thefoodswe eathavelostmuch oftheirnutritionalvalue.So,we need toeatmore tosatisfythe body7srequiredneeds.Check yourwaist.Byeducating yourselfand gettingallthelive nutritionalvaluefromthefoods you eatyou willnotice(asyou begintoshiftyourdiet)the differenceinhow much you consumeand thesatisfied feelingsyou willexperience. Crainisveryimportantin yourdietand has100% live nutritionalvalue,thatisifeaten whole,and cooked withcarenot tolosenutrients.Veryfewifany cerealscontain'live"whole grains.When alive,wholekernel ofgrainiscrackedorchanged fromitsnaturalstateitbeginsto loseitsfoodvalue.Slowly, withinthenext3day periodit losesallofitsnutritionalvalue and basicallybecomesjusta filler.Therearecerealsavailable withfortified(?),enriched(?),and enhanced(?)additives.The choiceisyours.Breadisalong thesame orderwithmany additives.Freshground organic grainisthebestand healthiest, unfortunatelynotaccessiblein mostsupermarkets. A goodand easywholegrain breakfastisConji.Conjiisa mixtureoforganic,wholegrains premixed and prepared over night.See"BreakfastofOriental Champions" formoreinforma tionand recipesinthisfeature. Red meatandchickenshould slowlyberemoved fromyour diet,unlessyou haveaccessto totallyorganicmeats.Thefeed forcommercialanimalsarefilled withchemicalswhich intum wind up inyourbody. I'dliketomake anobserva tionatthispointaboutgirlsand theirdevelopment. Backinthe

Feature: Re-evaluating Food and D rugs

sixtieswhen Iwas growing up, thegirls'bodies,even someof theyoungerteachers,werenot welldeveloped. Nowadays, a thirteenyearoldgirlcanpassfor 22.1believeitisaresultofthe foodwe eat. Beefand chickenarefed hormonesand steroidsto achievematurityinlesstime, whichexplainswhy today's younggirls'and boys'bodiesare developingfaster.We arewhat we eat.Itisfood forthought. Processedsugars(orrefined, astheyarecalled)arewhite deathand shouldbetotally removed from thediet.Thereare many alternatives,suchaslocal honey,dates,raisins,and most fruits.(Beawarethatsome honeysaremade bybeeskept indoorsand fedsugar). A healthydietshouldconsist ofgrains,proteins,carbohydrates (vegetables),salads,nutsand fruits.Proteinssuchasnuts,tuna, cheeses(notimported,remember Chernobai),tufu,eggs,and there aremoreyou'lldiscoverinthe learningprocessofanutritional diet.Vegetableschould neverbe overcooked (anyfood willlose itsnutritionalvalueifnot handled withcareinthe processing).Always wash your supermarket fruitsand vege tables,alsopeelthem. Unlessof courseyou canbesurethatthey

W illow H ollow R anch

aretrulyorganic.Trytogrow yourown orbuyorganicfoods fromagood healthfoodstore. The pricesmay costmore,but thetradeoff,beingaquestionof yourhealthand wellbeingis worthit. Saladsarebestifeatenafter yourmeal,astheyscruband aid thedigestiveprocess.Ifpossible forbestdigestiveand nutritional value,allowshortintervals betweeneatinggrains,proteins, carbohydrates,salads,and lastly fruits.Thiswillallowyou to absorbthemostfromyourfoods. Eatingincoursescanbepleasant, healthy,and arewarding experience. Most foodsinsupermarkets arenotwortheating,yourbest alternativeinthisdayand ageis toshopathealthfoodstores,pin acooporgrow youown foods. A largeportionoftheweeds growing inyourdooryardare edible,wildsaladgreens,serving asfoodswith healthy,herbal propertiestoaidyourhealthand nutrition.Sproutsarcahealthy, easyfoodyoucangrow inyour own home (becarefulthatthe seedshaven'tbeenpretreated). Sproutsalsodetoxify,clean-out toxinsfromyourbody thatyou haveverylittlecontrolover. Gatheringnutsinthefallis fun,supplieswholesome proteinsthroughoutthewinter, and allowstimetocommune with MotherNature.Collect fruitsand dryorcanthem if possible.Eatmisoasoftenas possible.Itwillaidagainst exposuretoradiation,which againcannotbeavoided these days.Alsotrytoeatfoodsthat arenativetoyourgeneral location.Ifyou liveinthecold north,don'teatorangesand bananasinthewinter,because theycoolyourbody. Eachand everyoneofusis responsibleforourown health and food intake.Now isthetime tochoosewiselyand educate ourselvesabout what we have controlofand what we putinto ourbodies.We need notwait untilwe becomesickbeforewe takeaction.Remember preven tionisthebestmedicinewe can possiblytake.We aretrulywhat we eat,Isuggestyou eathealthy. 41

A B alan ced Body Intoday'stryingtimes,with illnesssoprevalentaround us,it isimportanttokeepourbodies balancedand ingood health. Alongwithanutritiousdiet, exerciseisnecessarytoobtaina balancedbody.Exercisesdon't alwayshavetobestrenuousand sweatbreakingtobebeneficial forbetterhealth. Thereareseveralenergy exercisesaround which will stimulateenergymovement and balancethebody fromwithin. Dis-easeisblockedenergyand thereforeanytoolwe canuseto stimulateanaturalenergyflow withinourbtxiies,thehealthier we willbe. Exercisewillincreaseenergy, strengthenyourimmune system, helppreventdis-eascand give

youagood generalsenseofwell being.Therearcseveralmethods tochoosefrom,ie.Yoga,TaiChi, Ch'iKung,Tibetan,EightPieces ofBrocadeand avarietyof breathingexercises.Withalittle researchyou cancomeup with somethingsuitableforyour needs. Usefultoolsinbalancingthe body'senergyflowareaccupressure,massage,touchforhealth, accupuncture,chiropractic, reflexologyand many more.Diet alsohelpstobalancethebody7s energyflow. PeoplewithAIDSarcliving todayasaresultofdiet,exercise and accupressure,alongwith otheralternativehealing methods. Today’s Education In Health Can Save Your Life Tomorrow

self-treatmentprogramisdis cussed,when communitiesare sounreasonablypanickedbythe AIDS spectreofAIDS thattheyspawn arsonistswho bum thehomeof T reatm ent threechildrenwiththedisease, when initiativesareafloatto forciblysegregateinfected Survivors of AIDS admit individualsfromtheirlovedones they used nutrition to heal themselves and communitiesofsupport,do By Carolyn Reuben you havetoasktwicewhy many who havesurvivedAIDS past LaurenceBadgley,M.D.ofSan theirexpected lifespankeeptheir Bruno,CA, hasseenabout 100 good news tothemselves? AIDS patientsinthelastfew Ifphysiciansweren'tafraidto years.Maybe adozen have leavethepack,theywould atthis chosentotreattheirillnesswitha verymoment bereadingboth naturalfoodsdietand other Badgle/sbookand onebyScott changesinlifestyle.Inhisbook J.Gregoryand BiancaLeonardo Healing AIDS Naturally (Human calledConquering AIDS Now! EnergyPress,370West San (TreeofLife,513WilshireBlvd. Bruno Avc.SuiteD,San Bruno, 244,SantaMonica,CA 90401)A CA 9*1066)Badgleydescribesthe quicklookAIDSdoctor'sdesk. storiesoftheeightofthese Imaginethesnickersfrom pioneers.They areamong the medicalprofessionalsupon survivors. readingthatlymphaticand "Itisnotenough tosaythat internalcleansing,artificially someareluckyand someare induced fever,avegetariandiet not,"saysBadgleyatthe ofmostlyfresh,uncooked foods, beginningofChapterThree, Chinesemushroomsand other "Survivors.""Inalmostallcases herbalformulasand nutritional when you studythestoryofthe supplementsplusdailymedita survivorsyou learnthattherearc tionand imagerycan,among specificthingstheydid which otherdetailsofself-care,allow made thedifference."Theeight many tohealfromsuchadeadly men describedhad different diseaseasAIDS. storiestotell,butallhad one Bothbooksemphasizethe thingincommon: thefactthat crucialimportanceofeliminating theirswas aroadoftheirown fromthehealingdietany choosing,insteadofonepre processedfoodswithpesticides scribedand mutely,passively and preservatives,coloring followed. agentsand growthenhancers,as Atatimewhen itisblas wellasfromsugarand white phemy tosuggestthatthereisa flourproductsand otherabomi cureforAIDSapartfromanan- nationsofpost-industrialcuisine. yet-undiseovercd potentdrug, Bothadvocateamostlyun thatphysicianswon'tevencome cooked,vegetariandietthatthe topublicmeetingswherethe authorsclaimwon'tstressthe immune systembutwill,instead, encourageitsrejuvenation. PEACH PIE

I c o n o c la st's

(from the H igh

Integnty Diet)

Crust: 1cupground almonds 1cupground cashews 1cupground dates. Riling: 6cupsslicedfruit sauceoftwosoftpeachesand fivedates,blended. Mash togetherthecrustingredientswithcleanfingersand flattenintoan8-inchpieplatelayertheslicedpeaches(or anotherfruit)and pouron thesauceSetintherefrigeratorfora fewhourstoset.Eatwithinoneortwodays,beforethecrust getssoggy.

Badgleymakes useoftwo kitchenwizards,SylviaGreen and MichaelSchleyer,toteach patientstocreateattractive, deliciousand fairlyeasymealsof gourmet livingfoods.Thediet worked forGreen,whosebreast lump dissolvedaftershe changed herdiettolivingfoods. Greenwas inspiredand educatedby Ann Wigmore, founderoftheHippocrates HealthInstituteinBostonand theguidingspiritoftheliving foodsmovement intheU.S. Greenmoved beyond Wigmore'ssproutsand wheat

T h e U n fo r k ed M essage of C h ief S eattle One of the consummate speeches of the nineteenth century is the address of the Squamish Chief Seattle to the "Great Chief" in Washington, D.C. This speech, which integrates politics and religion, was delivered in 1854 to mark the transferral ofancestral Indian lands to thefederal govern ment:

How canyou buyorsellthe sky,thewarmth oftheland?The ideaisstrangetous.... Ifwe do notown thefreshness oftheairand thesparkleofthe waterhow canyoubuythem? Everypartofthisearthis sacredtomy people.Every shiningpineneedle,everysandy shore,everymistinthedark woods,everyclearingand humming insectisholyinthe memory and experienceofmy people.The sapwhichcourses throughthetreescarriesthe memoriesoftheredman.... The whiteman'sdead foiget grassjuiceregimentocreate almost300recipesforbreakfast, thecountryoftheirbirthwhen theygotowalkamong thestars. lunch,dinner,snacksand desserts,and havebeencollected Ourdead neverforgetthis beautifulearth,foritisthe inacookbookbySchleyer. motheroftheredman. We are Here,forexampleisonethat partoftheearthand itispartof willputyourmind torestif you'rethinkingthatlivingfoods us.The perfumed flowersare oursisters;thedeer,thehorse, isno moredelectablenor thegreateagle,theseareour interestingthancelerysticks: brothers.The rockycrests,the Badgleyishittingthelecture flowersinthemeadows, the circuittospreadthenatural body heatofthepony,and healingstorytothepublic."I man— allbelongtothesame can'tsaythatlivingfoodsisthe family. keytothesolutionforAIDS," So,when theGreatChiefin saysBadgley."I'veonlybeen Washingtonsendsword thathe seeingpeoplewithAIDS fora wishestobuyourland,heasks coupleofyears...butwe now haveascientificexplanationwhy much ofus.The greatChief sendsword hewillreserveusa fresh,uncooked fruitsand vegetablesareworking.It'sbeen placesothatwe canlive comfortablytoourselves.He will shown thatbetacarotene beourfatherand we willbehis pigmentsand chlorophyllhave anticancereffects,and pigments children.So we willconsider youroffertobuyourland.Butit fromplantshavebeenfoundto willnotbeeasy.Forthislandis inducethecytotoxicT-cells(in theimmune system)thatgoafter sacredtous. Thisshiningwaterthatmoves viruses." inthestreamsand riversisnot justwaterbutthebloodofour ReprintedfromHEALTH ancestors.Ifwe sellyouourland, magazine,Oct.5,1987.

Feature: Re-evaluating Food and D rugs

youmust rememberthatitis sacred,and you must teachyour childrenthatitissacred,and that eachghostlyreflectioninthe clearwaterofthelaketellsof eventsand memories inthelife ofmy people.The water's murmur isthevoiceofmy father'sfather. Theriversareourbrothers, theyquenchourthirst.Therivers carryourcanoes,and feedour children.Ifwe sellyouourland, youmust remember,and teach yourchildren,thattheriversare ourbrothers,and yours,and you musthenceforthgivetherivers thekindnessyou would givemy brother. Theredman hasalways retreatedbeforetheadvancing whiteman,asthemistofthe mountainrunsbeforethe morningsun.Buttheashesof ourfathersaresacred.Their gravesareholyground,and so thesehills,thesetrees,this portionofearthisconsecratedto us.We know thatthewhiteman doesnotunderstandour ways. One portionoflandisthesame tohim asthenext,forheisa strangerwho comes inthenight and takesfrom theland what everheneeds.Theearthisnot hisbrother,buthisenemy,and when hehasconquered it,he moveson.He leaveshisfather's gravesbehind,and hedoesnot care.He kidnapstheearthfrom hischildren.He doesnotcare. Hisfathers'gravesand his children'sbirthrightareforgot ten.He treatshismother,the earth,and hisbrother,theskyas thingstobebought,plundered, soldlikesheeporbrightbeads. Hisappetitewilldevourthe earthand leavebehindonlya desert. Thereisnoquietplaceinthe whiteman'scities.No placeto heartheunfurlingofleavesin spring,ortherustleofan insect's wings.ButperhapsitisbecauseI am asavageand do notunder stand.Theclatteronlyseemsto insulttheears.And what isthere tolifeifaman cannothearthe lonelycryofthewhippoorwillor theargumentsofthefrogs aroundapond atnight?Iam a redman anddo notunderstand. TheIndianprefersthesoftsound Willow Hollow Ranch

ofthewind dartingovertheface ofapond,and thesmellofthe wind itself,cleansedbyamid dayrain,orscented withthe pinonpine. Theairisprecioustothered man, forallthingssharethe samebreath— thebeast,thetree, theman,theyallsharethesame breath.The whiteman doesnot seem tonoticetheairhe breathes.Likeaman dying for many days,heisnumb tothe stench.Butifwe sellyouour land,you must rememberthat theairisprecioustous,thatthe airsharesitsspiritwithallthe lifeitsupports.The wind that gaveourgrandfatherhisfirst breathalsoreceiveshislastsigh. And thewind mustalsogiveour childrenthespiritoflife.And if we sellyouourland,you must keepitapartand sacred,asa placewhereeventhewhiteman cango totastethewind thatis sweetenedby themeadow's flowers. So vyewillconsideryouroffer tobuyourland.Ifwe decideto accept,Iwillmake onecondition: The whiteman must treatthe 43

beastofthislandashisbrothers. Iam asavageand do not understandanyotherway. I haveseenathousand rotting buffaloeson theprairie,leftby thewhiteman who shotthem fromapassingtrain.Iam a savageand Ido notunderstand how thesmokingironhorsecan bemore importantthanthe buffalothatwe killonlytostay alive. What isman withoutthe beasts?Ifallthebeastswere gone,men would diefroma greatlonelinessofspirit.For whateverhappenstothebeasts, soonhappenstoman. Allthings areconnected.... You must teachyourchildren thattheground beneaththeirfeet istheashesofourgrandfathers. Sothattheywillrespecttheland, tellyourchildrenthattheearthis richwiththelivesofourkin. Teachyourchildrenwhat we havetaughtourchildren,that theearthisourmother.What everbefallstheearthbefallsthe sonsoftheearth.Ifmen spit upon theground,theyspitupon themselves.

Thiswe know.Theearthdocs notbelongtoman: man belongs totheearth.Thiswe know.All thingsarcconnectedlikethe blood which unitesonefamily. Allthingsareconnected. Whateverbefallstheearth befallsthesonsoftheearth.Man didnotweavetheweb oflife;he ismerelyastrandinit.Whatever hedoestotheweb,hedoesto himself. Even thewhiteman, whose god walksand talkswithhim as friendtofriend,cannotbe exempt fromthecommon destiny.We may bebrothers afterall.We shallsee.One thing we know, whichthewhiteman may onedaydiscover— ourGod isthesameGod. You may think now thatyouown Him asyou wishtoown ourland;butyou cannot.1leistheGod ofman, and 1liscompassion isequalfor theredman and thewhite.This earthisprecioustoHim and to harm theearthistoheap contempton itsCreator.The whitestooshallpass;perhaps soonerthanallothertribes.Con taminateyourbed,and you will onenightsuffocateinyourown waste. Butinyourperishingyou will shinebrightly,firedby the strengthoftheGod who brought you tothislandand forsome specialpurposegaveyou dominionoverthislandand overthered man.Thatdestinyis amysterytous,forwe do not understand when thebuffaloe areallslaughtered,thewild horsesarctamed,thesecret comersoftheforestheavy with thescentofmany men,and the viewoftheripehillsblottedby talkingwires.Where isthe thicket?Gone.Theendofliving and thebeginningofsurvival. From 'TheUnforked Message ofChiefSeattle,"Fleshand Spirit: A Religious View of Bicentennial America, Gamaliel(Washington, D.C.:Community forCreative Nonviolence,1976),p.72 or Soelle,DorothocwithCloyes, ShirleyA.,To Work and To Ijjix: a theobgy of creation, FortressPress: Philadelphia,1984,pp 17-20.

R a d ic a l — T a k i n g A V ie w Thisisacomplexerainthe evolutionoftheuniverse.There waslifebefore,therewillbelife after.Our concerniswiththe hereand now. Humankind cannothelpbutview what is beforeus.We, theconcerned mustseekthetruth,do ourpart and speakourminds. We canbeginbyexamining ourvalues,and askingourselves, wheredid we getthem? A fair

amount ofthem havebeengiven tous(orwe tookthem) from thosearound us;family,friends, teachers,churches,politicians, peers,orcolleagues.Therecomes atimeofrealizationthatwe are believing,actingorlivingother peoples'beliefs.Then we discovertheshellofanempty man when weaskwho we really are and takingaviewofoneself. Reachingthispointwe must sitdown and gettoworkat sortingoutwhichvalueswe wishtokeeporridourselvesof. We thencanbecomeourown personand seekoutourown truth.Then wecanspeak proudlyofourconvictionsand noonecaneverdestroyor threatenourpersonalfreedomof who tve are. 1daretobedifferentbecause1 wishtobemy own person.I've viewedtheworld,notliking much ofwhat 1see,making the choicesofwho 1am, what 1do, notoutofignorancebutbypure choice.Respectforothers,aswell asyourself,isthemain responsi bilitythatmustgo hand inhand

withthischoice.With thisin mind we canberadicalinour beliefs,behavior,andaction, searchingourrootsorsourceof ourbeing. The world we liveinhas many bizarreaspectswhichare notcompatiblewithourwell being,asindividualsand asa people.Itistothepointthatwe need todo somethingdrasticor extremetoeffectthebasic changesintheworld we livein. Ifwe don't,who thehellwill? TakealookattheNative American.Whereishetoday, what hasbecomeofhim,his land,hisbeliefs,hispeopleand theearthhecalledmother. ChiefSeattle'smessagehasa greatdealtorevealtomany peoplesofalltimes.No judge ment oropinionsarcneeded.If we don'tspeaknow, theremay notbeanyonelefttospeak.This prophecyhasbecomealiving reality. Stopand considerthepolluted air,waterand land.Theearth herselfissickinmany ways,we might sayherown formofAIDS. AIDS inman isnotadis-easeof homosexuals,butratheradis easeofourtimes,areflectionof what ishappeningonourplanet, asaresultofman'sgreed and disrespect. Many willdie,theearthwill shedanotherskin,healherself and man willsurvive. Ijustspentaweekend inthe city,quiteastrangeplace. Returningtothequietand peace ofthemountainswas like awakeningfromanightmare.In thepasttwo weeks, lhavemet 10people,(60% non-gay)who wereorhavebeensickwiththe samebodyconditionasfull blown AIDS.Thesepeopleare fortunateinthattheyarenot dealingwiththefearsand chemicaldrugs(tothesame degree)thatgaysare.They are unawareoftheirconditionand inthiscaseignoranceisbliss,yet onlytimewilltell. Thetelevisioncommercials thatIsaw whileinthecitywere beyonddescription.Ibelieve advertisementsarecapableof sellingbikinistoEskimosorafur coattothedevil.The products would serveman withaboutthe

sameresults. Clarence,ourFairyfriend, celebratedhis62nd birthday withabashtotopany I've experienced.Balloons,flashing lightsand imaginablesplaced aboutinhisyard.Allthishoopla createdtrafficproblemsand even some fenderbendersinfrontof hishouse.Observingthepeople who passed,Inoticedthatmost peoplesimplyrefusedtosmile.I went toanightclubwherethe peopleappearedasclones standingaround lookinglonely yetrefusingtoreachoutand talk tooneanother,theverything theycame thereforinthefirst place.Ido notunderstandthis. Idanced withonefellow whom Ihad metearlierinthe day,and afterItoldhim thatthe poppershe wassniffingwas not verygood forhisimmune system,heavoided me asifI weregoingtocutoffhisarm. Those who justdon'tcarewillbe thefirsttogo. Iwent toWashingtontoview theQuilt,which isaliving

memorial tothosewho have diedofAIDS.Our numbers were small(lessthan60thousand), many straightpeopleand families,awholedifferentenergy thanthe1987Marchon Wash ington.As Charlesand Iwere leavingthequilt,afellowwas goingaround smudgingthe perimeterofthequilttopurifyit. Thecandlelightvigilwas powerfulbeyonddescription withmany wonderful speakers. TherewerealsospeakersatLayFayetteCirclewhose theme was this:We'vebeensilentfor10 yearsnow and ithasn'tworked. We'redyingasilentdeathand its timetostandup and speakout. October11thw'asNational Coming Out Day and ifwe don't standup and speakoutand be accounted for,we'llneverbe free.Imarched on Washington in 1987forwho Iam and what I believein.Theycouldhaveshot me down withmachineguns and Iwould havebeen proud to dieforwho Iam. Ilivewiththe samebeliefshereatWillow

Feature: Re-evaluating Food and Drugs

Hollow,working with PWA's in theBibleBelt. Martin LutherKingJr.isan exampleofsomeone who died forhispeopleand hisbeliefs.We thegaypeoplecanalreadycount theHarvey Milke'sand there willbemore. 1would beproud tobeon thatlist. Icountmyselfamong the radical,and I'mproud and comfortablewithwho Iam. Some view me asastrangepiece. Compared tomuch oftheworld my strangenessissanity.Ionly hopethatthewhitecoatswon't comeafterme withastraight (Goddessforbid)jacketuntilI threatentheirown beingwith whattheythinkrealityshould be.Untilthathappensorthey silenceme inanotherfashion,I stand,speak,continuetocare and fightforwhat Ibelievein and Iencourageyou todo the same. On electionday,youcanbet thatIwroteinJesseJackson's nameon my ballot.Some say that'slikevotingforBush,butI disagreestrongly.Idon'tneed to supportaparty,Istand forwhat Ibelievein.When allissaidand doneIcansitbackand trulybe happywithwho isinside.There isahighpricetopay inthetrade offofdaringtobedifferent,but itsthebestinvestmentI'vemade ofanythinginmy entirelife.I contributemuch ofmy self acceptanceand selfesteemto becominginvolved withthe RadicalFairies.IhopethatRFD, now housed atShortMountain, takesamoreradicalpointof view. To sum up,"Radical— Taking aView",Ichallengeyou tolook withinand askyourselfifyour valuesarewhat you would like them tobeordo theyserveasa pleasantlittlemask forsomeone who justwantstogetby.You cansleepwithmany different men,butthereisonlyoneyou wakeup witheverymorning. PEACE, ScareCrow

Willow Hollow R anch

theoxygen pranaand PoChito create"getupand go."Thecin B reakfast of namon helpsthefirebycreating heat.Thebeanshelpthewater O r ie n t a l elementcopewiththeenergy rush;and thehoneygetsthe C h a m p io n s earthelement(stomachand spleen)busy withdigestion. by Charles E. Hall, Ph. D., Peoplewho arereallysick, practitioner of traditional and eventhosewho arevery Chinese medicine. well,willgetareal"upper." Were itup tome, Iwould put Conjiisthechickensoupof conjioneveryhospitalmenu. For theOrient.Itisfedtopeoplewho thosewithparasitesconji aresoillthattheyhaven'tthe strengthensthecolonand lightly strengthtodigestordinaryfood. flushesthemucus system. Itisastaplebreakfastfood.And Now foradditionalvariations inthemartialartsdojos(schools) ofthebasicmix.Englishorblack ofChina,itisthehighenergy breakfastthatkeepsthestudents kickinghighand punchinghard. ThismarveloftheEastern world isverysimpletomake. First,prepareabasicgrainmix: one pound ofshortgrainbrown rice,and aheapingtablespoonor walnutsfreshfromtheshellzap moreofadzuki beansorred t hewaterelementand makecum kidneybeans.Second,getout thickand lumpy forsome yourcrockpotordoubleboiler and putinthreequarterscupof people.They helpstoreany excessenergy,perhapsinthe water,onequartercupofrice/ beanmix and aquarterteaspoon formofadrenalin.Pumpkin seedsdo aboutthesame thing. offinelychopped freshginger Ifyou haven'tcleanedyou root.Turn yourcrockpoton its c o l onofaccumulatedcrap,add lowestsetting,about 150to160 halfateaspoonofpsylliumseeds degreesF.orputyourdouble tothestewforan intestinalscrub boileroverthelowestflame down. possible.Letcookovernight.In Ifyou tendtofeelblueorfeel themorningadd cinnamonand s o r ryforyourself,putadashof honey totasteand it'sreadyto A n g ostura Bittersorgenetian eat.To cookovernight,you may bittersonthegrainsbefore putthegrainmixinaglassor stirringinthehoney.There'sa stainlessthermosand pourin smileallday inashakeof boilingwater. Angostura.Sometimes Iadd a Itisimportantnottoboilthe fewhopsbeforecookingforthe grains.Boilingkillsalotofthe samereason.A littlepopcornor good nutrientsinconji. Hopi Bluecom warms thespirit Therearemany variantson conji.Thisfirstvarianthastodo inthefireelement. Thisbreakfastissonutritious withacautionforpeoplewho t h a t1gettiredofitifIuseitmore getoralherpesorredintheface t h a nthreetimesaweek.My orwho sunburnorrun fevers body justdoesn'tneedany metal easily.Theseareindicatorsofa elementfoodmorethanthat. fireelementimbalanceinthe Only peoplewho getlotsofcolds body and addinggingerand cinnamon isputtingunnecessary orsinusorbronchialinfections need itmoreoften.Thosewho heatinthebody.Insteadof ginger,useasprinkleofcayenne havecolitisproblemsorgetflu willfindriceconjiveryhelpful; and forgetthecinnamon.These and iftheirspleenmeridianis peoplewillfindwalnuts,which w orking properly,theywill helpcontrolthefire,agood reallylikethebreakfast. additiontotheconji. Herearesomeofthevari Thericeand cayenne/ginger a t i onsIusetoroundoutmy feedthemetalelementofthe g r a inintakeamong theFive bodyand helpthelungstakein Grandfather's Cupbaord

elements.Theseareallreplace ments fortheshortgrainbrown rice.Keep theotheringredients justthesame. Oats(metalelement)and barley(wood clement)havea Scotchflavor.TheScotsprobably made thisasaporridgelong beforetheyheardofChina. Equal partsofbarleyorwheat (w'ood),millet(earthand fire), oats(metal)and rye(earth)make amoreearthymix withmore balancetoit,especiallywitha littlecom (fire).Icallthisthe "Fiveelementmix." Milletaloneisverygood fora variation,especiallyinhot w'eatherduringAquarius, Taurus,LeoorScorpiowhen the seasonsarechanging.Wheat and ryeareagreatcombinationtcxi. Withalittlecaraway Med and lemon peelit'slikeryetoastwith jellyon it.Thesetwograinsdon't "explode"likericeand milletdo, soIsometimesrunthem through my Corona grainmilltobreak them up alittleand helpthem cooksofter.Otherwisethetakea lotofchewing. Addingbuckwheat inthe wintercreatesbody heatfor thosewho work outsideand want toenjoycold weather.It's particularlygood forarthritics and thosewithexcesswater weight. Ifyou sproutthegrainsfora coupleofdays,cookthematat lowertemperature,sayabout 120-130degreesF.Dr.Christo pher,anherbalist,and the Aquarian AgeGospelarcbigon thismethod. Dr.Christopher saysthecooked sproutswillstill grow ifplanted. Don'tforgettochew theconji well.Chewing mixesinthe saliva.Ifyou boltitdown quickly,you willmissmostof thenutritionbecausesalivais necessaryfordigestion.You mightevendirectakindthought towardsthepeoplewho helped you fillyourbelly.Begood to yourfoodforinthenexttwentyfourhoursitwillbecome partof you. 1want tothankBob Flawsof theBluePoppyChi Kung AssociationofBoulder,CO for introducingme tothisone.It wasaFinegift.

AIDS: Pa s s a g e w a y t o T r a n s f o r m a t io n Thegreatestwealth whichcan beattainedwithinthehuman experiencecannotbemeasured inphysicalterms.You cannot putapriceon thevalueof knowing youarelovedby someone. Norcanyou trulyfind anexchangeofphysicalgoods whichisequaltothefeelingof innerpeace.You cannot finda substituteforthesatisfaction whichcomes from livingalife richwithmeaning. Foreach human beinginteaselydesiresto experiencethetruththathisor herlifeisofvaluetoothersand tothedynamicoflifeitself.The need fortheseexperiencesof love,ofmeaningfulness,ofinner peacearecriticaltomaintaining balanceinyourlifeaswellasin yourphysicalstateofhealth.An integralpartofthehuman experienceeachofyou sham, therefore,istheprocessof learningtomakechoicesinyour lifewhichempower youor contributetoyour wholeness and permityou tofeelgrateful nessforthegiftoflife.The naturalresultofpersonalem powerment isanabundanceof loveand theawakening within youofaclearunderstandingof yourspiritualsignificance. Becausethistruthissovital,life on yourEarthcanbeaccurately describedasthejourneytoward empowerment and spiritual clarity,forinherentineveryform ofhuman expressionisan opportunitytogrow evermore deeplyinawarenessofthis reality.Thejourneyofempower ment isaninnersojourn,apath ofintrospection.Itistheprocess through whkh yougrow in understandingofthenatureof yourown consciousness, throughexploringyourinner life,yourbeliefpatterns,your conceptoftruth.Eachhuman beingisdrawn likeamagnet to theexperienceofwondering, "Who am 1?Why was 1bom?". Thesearenotjustsimple questionsthatyou askyourself

duringmomentsofconfusionor despair.Thesequestionsare invocationsforspiritualdirection and guidance.Whetherornot you reali7.ethis,doesnotalter thatwhich istrue.1tellyou that eventhoughyou may askthese questionsoutoftheconscious nessoffearorinresponseto circumstanceswhich momentar ilyseem tooverwhelm you,itis theuniverseitselfwho hearsand respondstothesethoughts. Spiritualgrowthismeasured in termsofperceptionsand the maturationofbeliefpatterns. Beliefpatternsarefluid.Theyare energyinmotion,continually participatingintheconstruction and alteringofphysicalmatter.It iscriticaltoyourwell-beingthat you grow inawarenessofthis processforchangeisconstant. Alloflifemoveson aprogressive path.Your innerconsciousnessis noexceptiontothisabsolute dynamic patternoftheuniverse. Itisthenon-physicalenergiesof yourconsciousnesswhichdeter minethequalityofyourphysical realityon Earth.Eachoneofyour beliefpatternscanbethoughtof asanindividualthreadof consciousness,connectingyou to anaspectofyourphysical environment.Thisincludesall thatyou experienceexternally, relationshipswithpeople,the physicalenvironment inwhich you liveand work,andyour physicalhealth.Thisdynamicof consciousnessisthecentralcore oftruthforthehuman reality. Yourinternalunderstandingof power, whetherthatbean awarenessoftrueinnerstrength orafellingofpowerlessness,is completelytheresultofwhat you believe.Ifyou believe,for example,thatyoudo nothave thecapacitytochangeasituation w’hichisnotworkingforyou, thatbeliefwillinstantlyactivate withinyoucertaininternal processes.First,thethought conflictswithahighertruth knowm toyoursouland that truthisthatchangeisconstant. No situationremainsthesame. Secondly,though theillusionsof physicallifecanappeartobe absolutelyreal,thatisyou can touchand seethetraumas,your body may indeed begrowing

weaker.Thatisnonethelessbut oneperceptionofthewhole processwhichisoccurring.The beliefthatanysituationis withoutsimultaneousrealitiesis spirituallyinaccurate.And yetit iseversoeasytobelievethe dimensionofthephysically obvious,notrealizingthatin doingso,you relinquishalevel ofpowerand breathlifeinto yourfears.Given thistruth, recognizenow thattheguidance eachofyou receivesfromthe non-physicalworldisalways directedtoward encouraging eachofyou torejectbelief patternswhichencumberor interferewithyourpersonal development.Non-physical guidanceoccursconstantly.The instantanegativebeliefpattern entersorinvadesyourcon sciousness,positivethought formsareimmediatelyprojected intoyourconsciousnessthrough non-physicalteachers,inorderto balanceand removethenegative pattern.Ifyourconsciousnessis notalerttothissensitive communicationthenthe negativethoughtformbeginsto takerootand grow.Ifthe negativepatterncannotbe discharged,itbecomes repressed anddamage tothephysicalbody and toyourphysicalenviron ment beginsimmediately.As negativepatternsaccumulatein yourenergysystem,your consciousnessbecomes increas inglyparalyzed,frozeninto thoughtformsofeverincreasing intensity.From yourexperiential levelthismightmanifestas heightened feelingsofanxiety, innertension,orstatesof depression.Energybecomes blocked,nolongerflowing smoothlythroughyourcon sciousness,yourbody,oryour physicalreality.The removalof theseblocks,therefore,becomes necessarytothesurvivalofthe organism.Inthesecritical circumstances,itistheactuallife forceoftheuniverseitselfwhich mergeswithyourown energyin ordertocreateenoughofan impacttobreaktheblockof negativethoughtforms.From yourhuman perspective,thisis calledcrisis,thebreakdownof yourphysicalenvironmentorit

may manifestinyourphysical body.Theactualpointof physicalmanifestationis secondarytothespiritualprocess which isoccurring.Physical crisisbecomesthepassagewayto personaltransformation.Itisan opportunityprovidedbythelife forceitselftoreleasenegativity and rebuildyourconsciousness withpatternsofempowerment. AIDS isonesuchopportunity, apassagewaytopersonal transformation.Likeallcrisis, AIDS istheresultofaccumu latednegativethoughtforms. How bestdoyou beginto understand theissueswhich createAIDS? First,lookclearlyat thesymbolicexpressionofthe dysfunctioninthephysicalbody. Thehuman body,breaksdown. What beliefpatternsorpercepv tionsattacktheimmune system? Prolonged personalcircum stanceswhichresultinthe depletionofinnerpower contributetoaweakeningofthe immune system.Whilethereare numerous fearswhichcanbe activewithinthehuman consciousness,Iam speaking specificallyofthetypesoffears which may causeyoutofeel powerlessorvictimizedby externalsocialorpersonal structures.Forexample,fears emergingfromyourpersonal experienceofsexualitywhich causeyou tofeelvictimizedby theaspectofyourown reality, attacktheimmune system. Indeedany fearwhich specificallycausesapersonto invertpatternsofenergyinto behavioralpatternswhichare self-destructive,weaken the immune system.Thesefearscan besexualinnatureortheycan relatetoone'stotalpersonal senseofvalue.Thecriticalpoint tounderstand isthatthese patternscreatetheillusionof helplessnessand thereforethe immune systemremains constantlyon alert. Human beingsthrivein environmentsinwhichthere existstrust,acceptanceofone anotherand avenuesforhonest expressionoftheself.Denialof theseareasofneed,whetherthat beself-denialortheperception thattheexternalstructuredoes

Feature: Re-evaluating Food and D rugs

notpermitself-expression, producespatternsofresentment anddistrust.Ifthesepatternsof negativityincreaseinstrength,a senseofpersonalsecurityand safetyontheEarth,weakens. Self-protectionbecomesthe majorthrustofone'screative energies.Fearsbegintoreplace perceptionsofinnerconfidence. Graduallytheindividual assumesalevelofvictim consciousnesswhich isbest understoodasaperceptionthat depletespersonalpowerbecause itdeniesthehopethatan individualcancreateasafeand lovingpersonalsupport structurewithinone'slife.Itis thevibrationofvictimconscious nesswhichultimatelymakesa personsusceptibletotheAIDS virus. Many peopleareaskingwhy AIDShasmanifestedsodomi nantlyamong homosexuals, leadingtothebeliefthatAIDS is asexualdisease.Itisnot asexualdiseasethough itistransmitted sexually.Thegreat learninginherentinthe collectiveconsciousness ofthemalehomosexual culturerelatestothe balancingofthemale/ femaleenergypatterns inthismanner. Because thehuman societyhas viewedhomosexuality asanegativelifestyle, naturallovingand balancedrelationships havenotbeenallowed todevelopforthe majorityofhomosexual men.Thereforethe emotionaland psycho logicalneedsorthat whichisassociatedwith feminineenergy,have beenlargelyignored and replacedbyan overemphasisonthe physicalaspectof sexuality.Therepressionofthe human needsfornurturingand emotionalbondinghave producedevengreaterdemands onthelevelofphysicalcontact andyetnogreatersatisfaction hasbeenachievebecausethe deeperauthenticrequirements arenotbeingmet.Thisrepres Willow H ollow R anch

livingorganismand therefore, likeyou,itcanbesaidthatithas animmune system.Duringthe lastfortyyearsoflifeon your planet,thevictimizationofthe Earth— it'sair,water,land,and naturalecologicalbalance— has beenseverelyabused.Your Earth'simmune systemisnow criticallydysfunctionaland itis notinaccuratetodescribethe consciousnessofyourEarthas thatofvictim.Thereforetoward it'sown survivaltheEarthseeks acleansing— atransformation intobalanceand health.Each human beingiscomprisedofthe sameelementsastheEarth. IndeedyouareEarthitself.Thus intermsofvibrations,the imbalancewhich theEarth experiencesiscommunicated or relayedtoit'sinhabitants.Set: thisclearly— therehavealways beenfearsexistingwithinthe human consciousness.Therehas alwaysbeenhomosexuality.But therehasneverbeforebeena populationwiththepresent patternsofself-destructionso dominatingthe collectiveconscious ness.Thereisnodif ferencebetweenthe repressionsand fears experiencedbythe homosexualculture and thoseexperi encedbyanyother grouporculturewho livesinfearofselfdestruction.The majorityofyour planetarycommu nitynow liveson the edgeofthatfearof violentdestruction. AIDSenteredthe homosexualculture becauseofthe similarityinpatterns ofvictimconsciousness itshareswithgroups who havemanifestedthevirus. Drug users,Hattians,South Af ricans,allarefamiliarwithwhat itistofeelvictimized.Becauseof inoneindividualreflectsthe it'sepidemicquality,therewill wholenessyou know aslifeon Earth.Considersimilarities bethosewho willattractthe vibrationwho arenotsexually whichexistbetweenthe experienceofvictimconscious active,suchaschildren.Thisis nessthatonepersonmay realize theresultofthefactthatyou and thevictimizationoftheEarth cannotescapetheenergyofthe Earthand AIDS isnow very itself.Likeyou theEarthisa sionand self-denialhasbeenand isbeingreleasedinpatternsof physicalsexwhich lacktender nessand formany includelevels ofbrutalityand violence.Victims confrontingvictim.Formany individualsthesexualexchange hasbecomeamethod touncon sciouslyreleasetheangerand ragewhichonefeelswhen emotionalneedsarenotbeing met.Again itisthenegative consciousnesswhichisbeing breathed intotheactofsex whichisthecriticalissue.The processforexpressinglovehas becomeachannelforexpressing rage. Thecollectiveconsciousness ofthehomosexualexperienceis inneedofemotionaland psychologicalhealingand their repressionasaculturehasmade them susceptibletothisvirus. And yetthatanswerisincom pletewithoutaddingtoita greateroverview. AIDS isa planetaryepi demic,nota sexualone, becauseitis

much apartoftheenergy. IhavecalledAIDS apassage way totransformationbecause thatisexactlywhat itis.Likeany crisiswhichoccurswithinyour life,itisalsoanopportunityto re-evaluatebeliefpatternsand releasenegativity.AIDS is thoughtofasbeingincurable.It isnotincurableifoneunder standsthepowerofhealing inherentinpersonaltransforma tion.Foreachpersonwho has AIDS,heorsheneedstojourney inwardand beginthebalancing ofemotionaland psychological needs.Seekoutand dwellupon thosespiritualtruthswhich empower youand releasethe thought formsactiveinyour consciousnesswhich renderyou powerless.Interactwiththe forcesofnatureinorderthatyou becomeawareofthenatural balanceofalllifeand thenbring thatbalanceintoyourpersonal awareness.Feedyourbody with only naturalftxxlsfromtheplant and vegetablekingdoms. Recog nizetheneedswithinyourfor nurturingand bringthatenergy intoyourlife.Most significantof all,become fullyconsciousofthe truththatyouraresacred.Lifeis sacredand you arelifeitself. When you alignyourconscious nesswiththedynamicsof healingand balance,thenyou canrecognizethepower inherent inthejourneytoward wholeness. Seeyourhealingasintimately connected withthehealingofthe Earthitself,forthatisindeed what istrue.Itellyou thateach personultimatelydrinksfrom thesame well.AIDS isbutoneof severalopportunitieswhichthe human kingdom must presently confrontbecausethegreater truthofEarth'spresentmoment isthatthequalityoflifeon your planetisslippingrapidly.Thus intoeach person'slifewillcome anopportunityfortransforma tion.Seekthereforetoreleaseall thatiswithinyou which interfereswiththatwhich is sacred,knowing thatindoingso yourareparticipatinginyour own healingaswellasthe healingoftheEarthitself. Be,therefore,blessed. Iam Genesis.

What do you feel when you have tested positive? Which doctor do you intrust your life to? Which way do you turn? Do you tell your family? Do you share it with anyone?

Doy o u panic? Do you begin now to put your health in order? Have you learned the nutritional values of live foods? Have you been living to eat or eating to live? Do something now before it's too late.

Don't blame it on society, upbringing, economics, the government, or anyone else. You must take charge of your life and become a healthy, living example. Bangs Johnston

Books and Tapes

R e so u r c e s Practitioners Supervising Alternative AIDS Therapies Charles li. I lall, Ph D. (Crazy Owl) Ihe School for Gentle 1 lands 2301 Rat Shoals Rd Atlanta, GA 3(1316 404 2438787 Paul S. DuBois Willow 1 lollow Ranch PO Drawer 70 Purloar, NC 28665 919-973-7053 Robert F. Cathcart Ml, M.D. 1272nd St Los Altos, CA 94022 415-949-2822 Russell J at fee, M .D., Ph. D. Sera Corp/ Advanced Coll Technologies 2177 Chain Bridge Rd. Vienna, VA 22180 703 938-7360

Michael Janson, M.D. Cambridge Center for Holistic Health 2557 Massachusetts Ave. Cambridge, MA 02140 617-661-1225

You Can H eal Your Life, Louise Hay 1242 Berkeley St. Santa Monica, CA 90404 213-828-3666 Psychoimmunity and the H ealing Process: A H olistic Approach to Ilealin g AIDS, Jason Serinus, Celestial Arts, (1986)

Richard Shames, M.D. 232 E Blithedale Mill Valley, CA 94941 415-383-1262

AIDS: Passageway to Transform ation, C Norman Shealy & Caroline M. Myss, Stillpoint Publishing (1987) 1800-847-4014

jim Johnson, M.D. The Green Cross 1512 U St. NW Washington, DC 20002 202-265-0100

Breaking Through Illness, C Norman Shealy & Caroline M. Myss, Stillpoint Publishing, 1-800-847-4014

Emmanuel Revid, M. D. 164 E. 91st St. New York, NY 10128 212-876-9669

I Choose Life, Patricia A. Norris & Garrett Porter, Stillpoint Publishing 1-800847-4014 Alternative and H olistic Health Care for AIDS and its Prevention: A Sourcebook o f D escriptions, Bibliography, and Practitioners in the W ashington DC, Baltim ore, M aryland Area, Paul N. Van Ness, The Whitman Walker Clinic, 2335 18th St. NW WashingÂ ton, DC 20009, 202-332-5939

AJan Brickman, M.A. PO Box 210121 San Frandsco, CA 94121 415-668-1611

Keith Barton, M.D. Berkeley Holistic 1 lealth Offices 3099 Telegraph Ave. Berkeley, CA 94705 415-845 4430

H olistic Health Care for AIDS: A D irectory o f Resources A vailable to People with AIDS and ARC in New York City, New York AIDS Action, 263A W. 19th St., New York, NY 10011,212-807-0699 Love, M edicine & M iracles, Bemie Siegel, M.D., Harper & Row, Publishers, 10 E 53rd St., NY, NY 10022(1986) . H ealing AIDS N aturally, Laurence Badgley, M.D., Human Energy Press, 370 West San Bruno Ave, Suite D, San Bruno, CA 94066 Conquering AIDS N ow, Scott J. Gregory ii Bionca Leonardo, Tree of Life, 513 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 244, Santa Monica, CA 90401 AIDS, Cancer & the M edical EstablishÂ ment, Raymond Keith Brown, Robert Speller Publishers, (1986) AIDS, Alan Cantwell, Jr., Aries Rising Press, (1986)

Feature: Re-evaluating Food and Drugs

Kitchen Q ueen

says

L E T 'S

EAT BY buwv

may

Greetings Everyone,

CRUST In a blendea , paepoae 2 c. aaw sunflowea ieed meal [ itop befoae you get to <sunflowea buttea]. Empty out and iet ailde. Whlal togethea In the blendeA:

2 c . Aaw cashew pieces 1 c. [ok l e a ] spaing watea, as needed to whlal. smooth. ( the le ss watea, the easlea the cAust w ill be to handle] Add to the blendeA: % c. qaated coconut 4 Tbs. honey 4 Tbs. cashew buttea Whlal until well blended. Tuan Into a bowl and add the sunflowea meal a little at a time, mixing well oftea each addition, until It has a thick doughy textuAe. Paess Into a lightly oiled pie plate and aefaldgeaate foa seveaal houAi. When the caust Is set, add the filling and gaanlsh with caaambola ( staa, fault] slices. The "pie" will, likely Acs lit any e.ffoat to seave It In neat., intact slices. The ca aambola slices will dlstaact attention faom the tack of gaaclousness, and the taste will fully aedeem the aesthetic. ( If you toa.nl It hot, you can altoays zap It In the mlcaowave foa a few seconds]

I hope all of you are doing fine and you haven’t floated away with all the winter rains we’ve been having, but so badly need. Hopefully, the drought cycle has been broken and we’ll have plenty of water for our gardens this summer. Last summer, at the Solstice gathering at Running Water, I met a beautiful man named Laughing Dragon" from Pennsylvania. He attended the Thanksgiving gathering at Willow Hollow Farm in North Carolina, which I was unable to attend. He sent me a recipe for a raw foods "mince pie" via Sister Mish who did get to go to the gathering. It’s a recipe he freely adapted (some say per verted) from one of Ann Wigmore’s recipes. With more and more people becoming very health conscious these days and eating more raw foods, I thought it would be a great recipe to share with all of you.

ENJOY!

Editor’s note: Nearby here, we have a food club run by a lovely couple, Jim and Barbara Joyner and their two charming daughters. They operate it out of their home. With no electricity at Short Mountain, RFD has been very hard pressed for a computer to use. The Joyners graciously allowed us to use their computer to put our mailing list on and to print out all the necessary mailing labels to get out this and the last issue of RFD so quickly once it was back from the printers. I per sonally want to take this time to publicly say "THANK YOU" to the Joyners for their generosity and for being a friend to RFD when it really needed one. I purchase most of the bulk and organic foods that I use in cooking from them. I have found the quality to be excellent and the prices to be quite reasonable. If you are having difficulty in finding some items at your local co-op or you don’t have one nearby where you can shop, you may want to drop them a line and get their catalogue. They will ship any order by UPS within a 600 mile radius of Nashville, TN. Their address is: Morningside Buying Club Sunshine Ridge Rt. #1 Liberty, TN 37095

RAW FOOVS "MINCE PIE" FILLING

2 c. medjool dates, soaked, daalned, p it ted and chopped 2 c. aalsln s, soaked and drained chopped peel 0 |{ \ organic lemon ( may be soaked, too] 2 laage McIntosh apples, gaoled 2 t ip . cinnamon 1 t ip . nutmeg, faesh qaound % t ip . each: qaound cloven, a lls p ic e , coalandeA, and caadamon daih o k 2 cayenne ok to youA t o it e /alee of. the above k lemon h t ip . baandy extaact h t ip . oKange extKact. honey to t o it e [ stoat with h c. daakJ MTx and age In maion jaK i In the faldge

aX le a it oveanlte. I f at f lA it I t t a it e i hopelessly ovea-splced, don't woaay. The fau lt ieemi to e xit up the e xce a . 49

Room 512. "Hi, Maurice." I entered the room and walked over to his bed. He was asleep. Maurice didn't look so good. It had been five months since I'd last seen him before I moved to LA. I had no idea he could have lost so much weight so fast. The room was dark, but the light from the hallway reflected off his sweaty forehead. His long red hair was all messed up. His face reminded me of A n t o n e l l o 's "Saint Sebastian." It didn't look like Maurice at all. There were plastic tubes going into his nose like in the movies.

BONSAI

I looked around the room, but there wasn't any incense burning.

by William Shepardson "Hi, Buddy." It's not often that a bonsai tree writes to me, but this one was special. It said my closest friend, Maurice, was very ill. After my Hebrew class on Friday, I caught the first flight I could from LA to Oakland.

"God, Maurice. me. "

You scared the hell out of

"Sit down. I was pretending to be asleep. I thought maybe you might do something dramatic like kneel and pray."

"Excuse me, could you tell me which room Maurice Wenders is in?" The homely nurse looked peeved. Obviously I had picked the wrong time to interrupt her. She was reading a Harlequin novel called "Flowers of My Heart." She laid it down and looked up at me. The neon light behind her head framed her curly brown hair in a ghoulish fluorescent halo.

"You know me better than that." I gazed over at him. He looked cherubic in the hospital gown, a thin ghostlike cherub. "Is it ok if I hug you?" "Sure, Deano. You can't get AIDS from hug ging. At least that's what they tell me. But then again, they said the T i t a n i c was unsinkable."

"Let me see. That's a new patient, isn't it? Room 512. Down the hall, turn right and it's the third room on the left. You can't miss it."

I leaned over and held him tightly but gently in my arms. We had done this so many times before. He felt warm and smelled like sandal wood and rubbing alcohol. I sat back in the chair.

"Thanks." "What's that?" Her eyes pointed to Maurice's diminutive cypress tree.

"That felt good, Deano." "It's a bonsai."

HOW TO TRAIN A BONSAI

"Hmmm. I think I read something about those things in 'People' Magazine. Lauren Bacall raises them. Or was it Madonna? Do they need a lot of sun, because if they do Mr. Wender's room won't be good for it at all." "I don't know. It's his plant. Thanks." moved on quickly. She was boring me.

"You're welcome a lot." I heard her slide the paperback off the table to resume her romantic reading. The hospital was very quiet. The hallway seemed too wide. The doors were all open. I looked in one room and saw a very skinny guy hooked up to an artificial respira tor. He stared right at me. I didn't look in any more rooms. All I was looking at were the room n u m b e r s . The s m e l l hit me first. Maurice must be near. The place smelled like a Hindu laundry.

1. Study the tree thoroughly to learn i t ' s structure.

"Where in the hell is that sandalwood smell coming from?" "Can you keep a secret?" I nodded my head as he stuck his thin arm in the crack between the mattress and the boxsprings of the bed and pulled out a small red vial. He opened it and splattered a few drops on the bed. "It's driving the nurses insane. This is pure one hundred percent essence of Madras sandal wood. Very rare." "And very powerful. the place."

2. Determine as c le a r ly as possible how the tree is to be trained.

You can smell it all over

"Yes. Isn't it fabulous? Makes this place smell less like a morgue. I hate it here."

Suddenly I realized there were no get well cards or flowers or anything in his room, just a Mars bar wrapper, a "San Francisco Chron icle" paper, Mildred, and a copy of "Callboard" magazine, the local actor's guide to Bay area auditions and theater openings.

"Look who I brought you." "Mildred! Mildred Pierce! You brought Mil dred. Oh, thanks, Deano. Set her down right here by me. I 've m i s s e d her so much. 'Course, not as much as I've missed you. How's UCLA? Tell me everything."

I thought about the first time Maurice and I had met at the Introduction to Acting class at Laney College in Oakland. We were both going to be rich and famous and hobnob with Meryl Streep and Duston Hoffman. I had just arrived in Berkeley from Omaha and had never met any one who wanted to be an actor, let alone some one who was gay. My only experience with homosexuality was with a friend in junior high. Neither of us cared for it much and that was the end of that. Before I had moved to Berkeley the idea of being gay kind of repulsed me. It was easy to blame my bigotry on my Nebraskan origins, but I worked hard at becoming a California liberal.

"Everything's going great." "Except, I thought, "my best friend is in the hospital dying." "Met any nice Jewish girls lately?" "A few. Problem is most of the Jewish Studies majors are either guys or goyim or both. I can't figure that one out at all." Well, as a goyim guy I find Jews extremely interesting, especially cute ones like you." "God, Maurice. like this?"

On the first day of class the acting teacher was late. All the students were staring guardedly at one another, silent as watch dogs. No one knew anyone else.

How can you flirt at a time

I knew I had said the wrong thing. away from me.

He looked One slim black woman with blond hair was knit ting bright orange and blue yarn into a kalei doscopic sweater. I stared and she looked up and smiled. I smiled nervously back and looked away. I was totally upright. This was not Nebraska.

"Keeps me from crying." I could see tears begin to well up in the corners of his green eyes when he turned his head back to me. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to...." And then I saw Maurice. He looked like a bodybuilder and had on a tight black Gold's Gym muscle shirt. His long red hair was tied back with a dark blue bandanna. He was wear ing faded Levi's and reminded me of a guy that beat me up when I was 14. This guy had to be tough.

Hey, Deano, it's ok. I'm just glad you're here. it gets lonely. No one has exactly been busting down the door to get in here." 1 pulled back to look at him. With all the friends you have?" "Had. I might Plague."

as well

have

He saw me staring at him.

the bubonic

"Hey, Handsome.

"What about Sarah and Tom and Karl and...."

How ya' doing?"

My mouth gaped open. I didn't get up the nerve to talk to him for two weeks, but then finally he came up to me and asked if we could work on a scene together. I said yes. He played Big Daddy and I played Brick in a scene from Tennessee Williams' "Cat on a Hot Tin

"I don't want to get into it, but let's just say I haven't heard from too many of ray friends. Can we talk about something else, Buddy? He coughed hard. It seemed to come from deep within him, someplace I didn't know. 51

Roof." He picked the scene in which Brick admits to having sex with his best friend and then turning against him.

"Sure, Deano. right?"

You've got a date with Sylvia,

"Right."

We quickly became good buddies.

"Such a lucky girl," he said with his Jewish mother accent.

One of our favorite things that summer was lying out in the sun in the gay section of Lake Temescal in Oakland. Maurice called it Lake Testicle.

Sylvia was great in the sack, but Maurice was a lot more fun to talk to. I could tell him anything and he would listen. That's probably what he did with Mildred. I'm sure she lisÂ tened to him all the time.

"Look at that dude over there," he whispered. "Which one?"

Once over at his apartment he let me watch as he trimmed her.

"The hunky blond with the blow-dried chest hair. He played Stanley in 'A Streetcar Named Desire' at the Berkeley Rep. I think I'm in love."

"Ah, Mildred is the most special of all my bonsai plants. She was a gift from a semifamous concert pianist who told me I had the most sensuous eyes he'd ever seen and took me to Tahiti to prove it. Would you believe she's over thirty years old? That's older than me."

And he would proceed to tell me everything he'd heard or thought about the guy. I laid back down beside Maurice, our arms against each other. I could tell he was nervous being so close. I was, too. The sun was baking us and our sweat was mingling together like brothers.

"Why it's...." "She.

"Hey, Deano."

Mildred's not an it.

"Why she's only nine inches tall."

"Yeah?"

"Bonsai trees are very delicate." He trimmed her meticulously as if her were trimming a loved one's hair. He turned Mildred this way and that, looking at her from every possible angle.

"I love you." "I love you, Maurice." "So let's get married."

"You see, she's been deliberately stunted. She's actually kind of a freak. She's not exactly what Mother Nature had in mind. It's the human touch that has kept her so small and delicate. But it's beauty unlike any other plant. Doesn't she look like a lightning bolt the way she juts out?"

"I don't think that would be kosher." He laughed and kissed me on the forehead. I blushed and turned over onto my stomach and watched a lone seagull playing with a piece of paper on the grass. It would clasp the white paper in its bill and shake it a bit, then drop it and the wind would carry it a ways while the bird hurriedly tried to keep up with the paper, then it would pick it up again, drop it again, over and over. The action looked stupid to me. Futile.

He caressed her small branches. "You keep cutting and clipping away. She's kept just at her essential nature. There's nothing extraÂ neous, no fat. Just essence. She could have been a huge cypress on the side of an ocean cliff. But here she is."

"Ready to go?"3

"You sound like you're in love with her." "Isn't it obvious? However, it's strictly platonic. She's never left me. Plenty of guys have. Mildred always listens to me. I guess I wasn't meant to have a lover." Don t worry, Maurice. the right guy."

Some day you'll meet

He stared into Mildred. "No, my heart belongs to Mildred." and set her down. "And to you." He leaned over and hugged me. Mildred. That's all I need."

3. Prune out a ll branches d e f i n i t e ly unnecessary for final shaping.

He laughed

"Just you and

The year passed quickly. I decided to trans fer to UCLA and was accepted. Maurice was thrilled even though he hated to see me leave. "So I guess this will be the end of us." looked at me with his sad green eyes.

I was day I iting but I hand.

I was late getting to the hospital that last night. I had stopped by Sylvia's and one thing led to another and I lost track of the time. I got to the hospital just as visiting hours were over. I took the side way to Maurice's room, avoiding the nurse's station. Room 512 was empty. The sandalwood smell was gone. Maybe they had moved him to another room. My heart was beating fast.

"Hey, you'll come down to LA and visit a lot." "And you'll meet some nice girl and get mar ried and forget all about me and Mildred." "How could I ever forget about you?" "Can I be the bride's maid?" "Your biceps are too big. being my best man?" "Very cliche. will do it."

Would you settle on

But I'm honored.

only in Berkeley for three days. Every went and stayed with Maurice until vis hours were over. He fell asleep often, stayed there holding his small warm

I went to the front desk. No one was there, except for Mildred. I picked her gently up. Taped underneath was a note.

For you I TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, DEANO. TAKE CARE OF MILDRED. I LOVE YOU. I ALWAYS WILL.

"Why don't you move down to LA with me. We'd be great roommates. And we both can become famous actors together." "And be interviewed by Robin Leech on styles of the Rich and Famous!'"

YOUR BONSAI,

'Life

MAURICE

"And Lisa Hartman on 'Entertainment Tonight!'"

I took Mildred up into my arms and walked to the elevator. We would have a long, long talk tonight, Mildred and me.

"And Rona Barrett!" "It'll be fantastic."

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Bend branches into -final form using copper wire anchored in s o il at the base of tree.

G E T IT A T H O M E

We hugged each other, contemplating our future fame and enjoying the closeness that our hearts and futures seemed to occupy. Maurice planned to move down in time of Chanukah.

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Not long after I moved to LA, Maurice's health began to fail. He told me nothing about it until I got a postcard that said, "Maurice is very ill. He needs you." It was signed Mildred.

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I made immediate reservations on an AirCal flight to Oakland and flew up Friday night after class. I rented a car, stopped by Maurice's apartment, talked briefly with his roommate, and found Mildred. She was looking shaggy. Then I was off to the hospital with Mildred. 53

•»»«* *

work without turning back to criminal ways such as forgery and falsification. The rapid increase in our prisons is a "ticking timebomb looking for a place to explode." We have more men in prison than all western countries combines. We also have the only death sen tence. Our judges hand down a year in prison for each month of sentence given by european countries. Yet, our public write letters to the editors, saying that our prisoners are coddles and that we need tougher sentencing. Certainly it is time for some research into the problem. Scour al pages for suggestions and all for more and more of the same; ad

changes and the editori opinions are infinitum.

Nowhere does anyone suggest going back to the original cause of criminal behavior, as if it is not important. Experience should tell us that once the formative years are passed, it is very difficult to change anyone's way of life. We have started by "writing off" those whose lives and futures are already wrecked by the present system. Only those will change their ways who rehabilitate themselves. We need to concentrate on the next generation, not by brain-washing them by fear and finger pointing .

by Raymond R. Latham Today, there are over 608,000 Americans in state and federal prisons. City and county jails, detention centers, reformatories, etc., hold another half million, a total of one million, one-hundred thousand behind bars— the population of a large city. The number is growing rapidly, over 8% per year: 900 prison beds or one new prison every week. Where will it end?

Common sense tells most thinking persons, if you want to cure a problem, you start at the source of it. One has to assume that common sense to be in short supply, for nowhere is there even a suggestion of adequate efforts made to correct the next generation of crimi nals. Street crimes start very early in life, mostly amongst the less fortunate and impov erished .

The National Institute of Justice says that it costs over $25,000.00 per year to house each prisoner and to maintain his prison and guard force. That's 28 billion a year. Estimates reveal that by 1995, there will be 2 million prisoners costing over 50 billion a year. It cost all the taxes of many families to lock up each prisoner. But the real cost is that it brutalizes all Americans and is wrecking our world image. We have slipped to 18th place as a free country in our observance of civil rights and basic individual freedoms.

You are a boy of ten, with never even the price of a candy bar. You see others, 9 to 17, shop-lifting, snatching pocketbooks, stealing anything not nailed down, burglariz ing or running drugs for money. How do you, intending to be a good boy as your mother wants, react after a few cross words or a whipping? You say to yourself, heck, why not? No one loves me or care what I become!! In these words lies the original motive that allows the first shop-lifting of theft— the first breakdown of good intent, each theft encourages the next, until it becomes a habit.

How has it affected the crime rate? As in all totalitarian police states, the crime rate grows with the number of sentences, like the time when England hung pick-pockets. The crowds at the hangings had their pockets picked. The true cost to victims is in fear, terror and destruction of family units. A noted American historian, Henry Shield Cornmaker, recently said, "The problem we face in the U.S. is our concern with crime and punish ment. It will destroy us. New York City has over 1,700 murders per year. Stockholm, Sweden, also a very large city has only 1% this amount— 17 or 18 murders a year." Why? What makes New York City a hundred times more dangerous than cities on northern Europe? What are we forgetting? What are we doing wrong? When men leave our prisons, they are handed $25.00, taken from their earnings, if they were so fortunate as to be given a job. Usu ally less than $0.90 a day. Twenty-five dol lars worth of t r a n s p ortation back to the slums. Rehabilitation and job training are non-existent in our penal system. Ex-cons have a most difficult time trying to secure 54

So, what is the antidote for this social sick ness? Punishment? No, it is counter-produc tive. Someone who cares very much and partic ularly at that age where the mother's influ ence is dropping off. After all, the opposite of selfish crime is LOVE, RESPECT and care for others in the young impressionable mind. This calls for a personal tutor, mentor and role model.

The unruly boy in school is proof enough that the biological father has already relinquished his responsibility, leaving him adrift. The formative years are from the onset of abstract thought ability to make first decisions at about age eight until his character is locked in at age 14-16. It is during these years, and only these six years, that an errant char acter can be easily reconstructed. The teacher sees the need and reports it to some sort of "criminal prevention agency" who, in turn, appoints the boy to a responsible male mentor, held accountable to the agency for the lad's progress--to be certain he is being t a u g h t v i r t u e a n d r e s p e c t , not b e i n g exploited.

Scout troops, Big Brothers, etc., all make an effort in this direction, but far too ineffec tually. A boy walks away from a meeting back to his bad associates, still feeling that no one personally cares. He still feels: no one loves me, only me, enough to care what happens to me. Two young murderers in prison, one of them facing death for triple killings, have said that their first crimes were at the age of 8, aping the actions of their macho peers. A mentor then, they agree, would have kept them out of prison and save 5 lives.

Do this thoroughly each day, with the same intensity of purpose with which today's prisons are being operated and, in one genera tion, police departments can be halved. In twenty years, prisons can start coming down. In thirty years, we can again leave our front doors unlocked as we did fifty years ago. There is no other wayl

If you look back in history to see what can be learned, a similar, only worse problem existed in Greece, 7 centuries before Christ. Quite by accident, a solution came about, caused by a population explosion amongst the Minoans on the Island of Crete. As a matter of birth control, marriage of men was delayed until age 30 when a man might take a wife as young as 15. Both Lycurgus the Law-Giver and Solon are known to have visited Crete and carried the idea back to the mainland.

"If the majority refuses to believe the truth, then the problem is not with the truth, but with mankind's perception of what is true." Note: Ray is in his 70s and has been sen tenced to two 20 year sentences for criminal love with a minor, or what the system terms "crimes against nature."

In Athens, and eventually other Greek cities, every elite youth was expected to adopt a young boy as student and companion. This intense, one-to-one relationship, molding character and intellect, lies at the heart of the intellectual and artistic achievements of classical Greece. The Spartans borrowed the idea just before 600 B.C., then the Ionians adapted it as an educational structure. Crime came under control, Olympic games started, the Spartans became the most renowned warriors, miraculous advancements were made in philoso phy, geometry, the theatre, architecture, art, sculpture and astronomy. Plutarch wrote, "There isn't a boy in all Greece who isn't cared for by at least one man."

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HEALING AID S

If it worked so well then, why did it end? History records, "[I]t was a new religious philosophy, opposed to reason as well as to nature, that ended what was left of it after the calamities of the mid-third century de stroyed the basis of Classical civilization."

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PHYSICIANS, HOLISTIC & ALTERNATIVE PRACTITIONERS & PWAe C a N i v ta r o f Local a

After that came the burning of books, and the dark ages. Concept of the world went from round to flat as mandated by the Roman hierar chy. So too, the concept of man-to-youth Greek companionship went from respect to dis respect, then to today's perception of it being odd.

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How else can we reduce the legions of crimi nals than by teaching respect for virtue which can only be taught by caring and instructing today's unloved? And, on a one-to-one basis only. 55

Sorry I can't answer personally but I'm on the toilet and don't have a potty phone. So please leave a message and I'll return your call as soon as I can. Beep.

THE DUTCHESS ON PHONES

Hi. Sorry I can't answer the phone but I'm out enjoying this wonderful city: the SIGHTS— street people, pigeons & traffic; SOUNDS— gunfire, squealing tires and yelling; SMELLS— exhaust fumes, urine in the alleys and ragweed pollen. If I recover from this excursion, I'll call you back if you leave a message. Beep. Darling, I'm positively tied up. I responded to one of those personals in the paper and my new master just left the apartment. Unfortu nately I'm bound, gagged and plugged and can't reach, let alone answer, the phone. So, please leave a message and if I'm very good my master may let me return your call. Beep.

by Raphael Sabatini Dutchess of Columbia, Embroiderer to the Em press of Short Mountain, Friend and Confidante to Cardinals, Archbishops, other Clergy, Kings, and countless Queens.

WHAT DO YOU WANT? Beep.

Leave a message or else.

While we are still glowing about the publica tion of our little article on "Fairy Fashion Consciousness," we now turn our attention to another of those rather difficult situations; that is, ringing someone up and getting a very BORING or OFFENSIVE message from their tele phone answering machine.

Hi. This is Raphael and Jay. We're not home but will be back soon. We are at our psychia trist's office and will return with our Thora zine soon. We will return your call when we pick up the phone. Schizophrenically yours. Beep.

Therefore, we would like to suggest to our gentle readers that when one is making an answering machine message, some creativity would certainly be appreciated.

The list is certainly not exhaustive. Hope fully it will inspire those offenders into corrective action. For those of you who have no phone— never mind.

However, we know that urban dwellers are short on time and long on excuses so we have drafted some possible telephone answering machine messages that need only be slightly modified and read into the machine: Hi. This is the residence of Tom, Dick & Harry, a very unusual but harmonious triad. Tom's a voyeur, Dick's into Harry and Harry's in ecstasy. Needless to say, none of us will answer the phone right now so please leave a message at the sound of the beep and we'll respond as soon as possible! Beep. Wow! I'm not all here now. Like I'm spaced and doing a phone is just IMPOSSIBLE. Make a message to me and when I return {if I return). I'll connect. Chow. Beep.

POET'S MUSE FORBIDDEN by Michael Swift Why do we devour them, these divinely-inspired substances, this candy for children far from innocence?

Darling— you got me at the worst moment. I'm doing my nails (fingers & toes) and have little cotton balls between each making it impossible to manipulate the phone. Plus, I'm in bed with the plumber's friend; that attrac tive thing with the see-through running shorts! So do be a sweet and leave a message and I'll call you right back when the polish dries and the friend is through! Beep.

You see, we're tired; our blood, our bones are tired. We're so exhausted— by headlines, by gossip, by wars, by petty betrayals--we almost lust for the final benediction of the noble woman dressed in the black cloak of fatality who comes to us on the back of the eerie wes tern wind. But we sense years, many tiresome, arid years will intrude before the Dark Angel brushes our faint, trembling bodies with her cool wings, kisses our pale lips for the last time, releases us from painful, temporal bon dage, offers us up to the judgment of God.

I'm in bed with a trick. Am having a ball and wouldn't, if I could, answer the phone right now. You've been there! So please leave a message and after we finish, I'll call you back. Beep. 56

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0 ‘\ f-%. Are we to endure this coming eternity of years entirely nude? Without our chemical kinds of eucharist we can never face carnal morning unimaginatively turning up every single mor ning, face year after year the mindless din of the radio and the television set, fact the pedestrian mail which never fails to come at three o'clock and which consists of catalogues full of luxurious pretensions we vulgarize our endless living rooms with and printed entice ments to feed, obliquely by check, the star ving babe whose existence in the distant, sweltering slum introduces anxiety and guilt into our placid, air-conditioned afternoons. Without drugs the boredom and emptiness of modernity defeats us.

THE AWAKENING OF MY F&XRII SPIBIT by Kelly Fissill

Take away our drugs and you take away our dreams, the dream of thinking the startling painting that makes the truly blind truly see, the architect's dream-vision of a skyscraper so tall and majestic it impinges in terms of imaginative conception on the idea of the sun, the moon, the stars.

Each weekend morning I will awaken around 6 AM to take advantage of the "quiet time" here on M t . Washington. While my lover lies in bed, I will quietly rise up to walk downstairs to make a pot of coffee. While the coffee brews I prepare breakfast for the kids (our four cats). Once that is done I'll head out to the back yard with cup in hand.

Deny us our elixirs and the bridge-builder will never construct the perfect bridge which connects faithless, faltering man to the honesty, the wholeness of God, which links prosaic earth to the glories of paradise. Take away our opiates and man becomes a pebble, a blank little stone on a dirty beach kicked around by vandals in blue.

This particular Sunday morning I was sitting in a chair with our youngest kid in my lap. I was feeling the cold morning mist on my face, feeling warm in my sweat clothes, listening to a distant wind chime in the breeze, birds were in flight and singing to greet the day.

Strip us of our pills and potions and we be come mute, mutant. We become hollow men. We are converted into ghosts of hysteria seques tered in an austere, white-walled clinic some where in the Switzerland of hell where songs are never heard along its corridors of de spair, where lush Eros is never seen, felt, caressed, imagined.

As I sat I noticed two mourning doves sitting in my neighbor's Chinese elm tree. I looked at the cat in my lap then back at the doves and felt myself amazed at God's creation and in awe in nature's balance. The mourning doves have no teeth or claws like the cat has, but yet it has wings that allow it to simply fly away. Doves probably repro duce faster then cats, so for every dove downed by a cat, the dove just fucks that much more, sounds greatl

And so I have said what I wished to say. I lay down my pen. I, like Cocteau, like Freud, like Hermann Goering, take the proffered opi ate and begin my nocturnal voyage so cher ished, so dear to me, so e x t r ao rd ina r e . Please let me travel a little while longer. Beyond the shadow there is a pure light. Let me go into that light, through that light. Let me be transported to finer worlds of poet ry and platinum altars and grace and hushed afternoons in sainted gardens where cruel words are never spoken and ugliness never intrudes.

It dawned in my limited "western" mind that "balance" is the real name of the game. There is no equality or fairness, only balance. This balance is God. In the past, and I mean the long ago past, we fairies lived in balance with God, i.e. na ture. We were nurtured and cradled by nature and in turn we learned to live in harmony with God.

Surely you have heard that complete sobriety kills too.

We learned to use nature's gifts to heal out of love for one another. We paid reverence to nature by living in balance with nature. It's my uneducated opinion that all that changed at the time that the prophet Jesus became christianized by the good Europeans. 57

Workmen were all gone. Just you two together. Since Jackie is a short small boy you lift him gently for a look in the windows. Your hands cupped firmly across the front of his Levi jeans. A warm tingle reddens your face as he slides down and your hands feel gentle bulges. There is no resistance— you wonder what if I pull open the three buttons of his fly?

Suddenly balance and harmony that we fairies were nurtured by was replaced with dominion and exploitation. Subject-to-subject was replaced with subject-to-object as Harry Hay might say.

Exploring further you enter the workmen's privy. The ammonia odor is repulsive but you stay to catch a glimpse of half hard finger thin untrimmed prick as Jackie sprays the back wall all the way to the top. When done he shyly buttons up and turns to you smiling. You walk out arm in arm, slowly wending toward town, kicking stones along the sidewalk. You know Jackie waits at their store before his dad takes them home to supper. You part at main street with, see you tomorrows! You drift out the long trail to home and chores wondering why you can't just ask him for a closer inspection--or even— yes that too!

This turn of events did not only spell doom for nature, but spelled doom for us fairies. Our work, spirits, or very essence was to be controlled. We were written out of history, we were a people to be dominated and con trolled as any other people that differed in any way with those who decided to control. With my ever-awakening fairie spirit I am increasingly aware of the domination of the non-fairie world.

Later one evening after football practice. You were both late for showers. Slowly others drifted out and left for home. Lingering in the hot steamy stalls it was pleasant watching each other half hard and pretending not to see and fearful of the coach or janitor might pass through. Toweling down and dressing visiting quietly. Afterward why didn't you mention your mutual excitement? Perhaps he wasn't thinking of you but a girl.

I'm very pissed off. I work the way they want me to work, I dress in a style set and ap proved by them, I've been taught to conform so that I may feel part of them for their sakes. But even worse is that I've been taught to believe as they do, my religious beliefs are their beliefs, my politics are their politics, my standard of living belongs to them, even my vocabulary belongs to them. My saving grace is that I am not one of them.

Three years of high school changed nothing. Both of you were breathless for further action but somehow there would be a day when every thing would happen. Jackie graduated, you went on another year. That fall when on a job Jackie showed up the last day. Your courage came on strong and you made a date for the evening down by the river a mile from where each lived. Meeting in shared hope you inspected each other. Quietly mutual clothes were scattered along the sands in the cool evening. Even though both were eager to get into action you both just sat with monster erections. Jackie asked you if you liked girls and you asked him if he knew you had always wanted to play with his prick. Then as you grasped his erect, bobbing prick and began to slowly rub up and down, as he had taken you gently in hand feel ing the throbbing heat of wanting held back so long— all the years— such breathless desire— to at last be grasping each other flesh to flesh.

I thank you Harry Hay, Arthur Evans, Mitch Walker, with a special thanks to Don Kilhefner for your work and fairie sharing. You have shared with me ideas that I consider my ticket out of hell. I have taken the first step. I've become aware of my suppression. Suppression from the non-fairie world and suppression from within my false self. I've come a long way and have a long way to go. With work and loving I know that I can make a difference in this world as a Fairie. We will turn the world back around, our awa kened presence will make the difference.

Suddenly a horse was heard crashing through the underbrush, luckily it was a friend but older so there was no danger of carried tales and exposure. Still the moment had passed forever. You both grew up and went off to war and many years and families later you met with nothing said of those sweet nostalgic moments of intimate knowledge that had been our long ing desires such a great while.

Hey, Remember Clear days of autumn. School had just dis missed. You lingered waiting for Jackie, your favorite pal. Not that you were constant companions, you just got together— a magnetic magic. Now he comes from the gym. Both go along the wall saying little, heading to in spect the new grade school being built there. 58

Most aliums (leeks, garlic, garlic chives) have striking seedheads which are sturdy. Stalks of berry-laden asparagus take on rather geometric poses on the landscape as they tum ble down through the winter. The flowerheads of sedum "Autumn Joy" remain all winter as if in perpetual bloom. post driven into your garden in fall can be the focal point for bird feeding. Sunflower seedheads nailed to the post are ornamental and can be revitalized by spreading peanut butter and bread crumbs on them after the seeds have been removed. A feeder suspended from a limb near a window can make a static garden scene lively with feeding frenzy from dawn until dusk.

I originally took over the gardening editor's position because I saw the need for articles on gardening in each issue. A part of the rural experience, and hopefully the urban one too, is working with soil and plants. I thought to come up with a short article four times a year would be no big deal. It turns out to be more work than I thought and also I realize that I don't know it all. There is so much to be learned in each year of gardening and I would like to think that there are many of you who would like to contribute your bits of gleaned wisdom occasionally. I know you are out there, you closet garden writers, who would love to talk about gardening if given the chance. So come on, Bruce, Mark, David, Doug-o, Ed and all you other manipulators of the soil. Write a short piece about a favor ite plant, garden (yours) or horticultural technique and let's share the wealth.

The more permanent silhouettes are the shrubs and trees in your garden. Striking effects can be had using contorted cultivars such as Harry Lauder's Walking Stick (Alllilli) • cork screw willow (Salix), and weeping birch (B&fclir 1&) . The red-twigged dogwood (£fiiniiLS) pro vides a red coloring for the winter landscape. If you can put up with thorns, the berries of some wild roses (£££&) and barberries (fifiiz beris) retain their fruit all winter. A flat area in your garden can be given more dimensionality by placing a dwarf evergreen i a choice location. Often completely obscured by tender plant growth during the summer, they can shine through a winter with a green presence. While it may be true that midwinter is a time of rest for the garden, it needn't be forgot ten or unappreciated. Give your garden inter est all year 'round by choosing shapes that ■jiii chinp t-hrouah the cold and snow.

With winter upon the garden you'd think there would be nothing to do or at least very lit tle. In cold climates a layer of frost and snow can radically change the form of the garden. Even in less severe climates plants are in a more or less static mode until new spring growth starts. Now is a good time to look around and see the shapes left in your garden after a year of growth. In fall, with warm sunny days at a premium, one can reasonably expect to spend a few afternoons cleaning up dead growth from annuals and perennials. Often a few stalks of certain plants left scattered about the garden can give it more interest in winter. For me this originally happened more by mistake or oversight but now is a more conscious design. The starburst seedheads of Echinacea hold up well all winter and even provide some food for the finches. I find the fallen stalks in spring result in new seedlings which are al ways welcome. Often a particularly expressive mullein seedstalk (Verbascum) is left and can withstand the winds of winter. Even bear's breeches (Acanthus) seedstalks hold up well and look exotic draped in snow. I usually leave a motherwort (Leonursis) or teasel (DiP~ ■§acus) stalk near my living-room window so I 59

friendship (real friends) who enjoy "somewhat crazy" people. I come from a large family, and enjoy socializing of all sorts, but prefer small inti mate groups. Am non-smoker with mustache, dark blond hair/grey-blue eyes. Enuff said!

■

CONTACT YOUR FELLOW RFD READERS J?Fn prints contact, tetters free o* charge.

O'e also provide a Inez forwards ina 6 z a v 4.c z lor readers who prefer not to publish their address. Conations, however, are greatly appreciated. 'He a6k that houla letters be brief (under 2 nn words) and po6itive in 6tatinq your preferences. Waning NO to a par ticular trait or characteristic may unneceS6arily offend a brother. RFV assumes no responsibility for claim6 made in the letters, and we urge correspondents to exercise caution, especially with any financial dealing6. For responses from prisoners we advise contacting Joint Venture, P.0. Box 26-8484, Chicago, JL 60626, before replying.

!SSS!SsS!S!S!SSSS!S!S!SS!SSS!S!^

A current city dweller with a heart that loves the country more would like to meet a man in New York City, or environs of a reasonable distance, who is open to a committed loving relationship. I'm 34 years old, 6'1", 165 lb., attrac tive, with light brown hair and blue eyes. I'm clean shaven, hairy chested and in very good h e a l t h . I stay h e a l t h y in this c i t y that challenges health at every turn by being vegetarian, exercising regularly at the gym, meditating and doing pranayama daily. I have been a devotee of Swami Satchidananda for 10 years and at one time was preparing to become a monk. Although still very much connected with him and his teachings, my path is dif ferent now and I'm looking to hook up with a like-hearted man. Meditating, hiking, cam ping, home related activities are what I enjoy most but I also take advantage of the typical city pleasures of which New York has many. I see myself as intelligent, introspective, responsible, capable of being disciplined, strong-willed, intuitive, motivated to know the Self and compassionate. I live very much from the heart (although not always fearlessly). I

have a strong inclination toward people and things that are peaceful and I live trying to be mindful that the real essence of life if within. I recognize and am willing to explore the depths of my dar ker side. I'm most o f t e n attracted to men who, too, are trying to live in the aware ness that we are first and foremost spiritual beings. I'm drawn to down to earth, masculine, responsible men who are open-hearted and enjoy a good laugh. Physically, I'm a sucker for attractive, dark men with beard or moustache who are roughly my size/shape/ weight. This is not a hard and fast rule but more of an inclination. Best wishes readers .

all

RFD

J.W. 17 Cleveland Place Apt. 18 New York, NY 10012

SSSSsSSSSSSsSsSiSSsSiSiSSsSS® GWM New Yorker, mid-Hudson area, would like contacts in suburban New York City and mid-Hudson region. I am 36, petite and youngish, 5'6-l/2", enjoy swimming, hiking, Catskills, running (non-competi tive), pagan spirituality, intellectual pursuits. I am a c o l l e g e i n s t r u c t o r , pro fessional, and am looking for 60

C o n t a c t me c/o RFD. Your photo gets mine + letter. Bob Dorn c/o RFD $$$$$!$§!$!$!$!$$$$!$!$!$!$!& Dear RFD Readers, What we have here is a unique rare breed of Rural/Urban Fane. I feel I'm an endan gered species in that because I have a job in the city, thus must live there, however deep in my heart I have alwa y s loved the quiet, clean u n spoiled beauty of the country side and nature in its purest form. I'm a white male, 6 ', 172 lb., 38 years old. I've got a slim build with blond hair, mustache and green eyes. I love to hike/roam the woods, find secluded areas at the river to sunbathe at. I enjoy good home cooking and cook good too! I like all forms of music, long walks, crisp au tumn and warm summer nights under a full moon. I swim 3 to 4 times a week, bike, and am shy when it comes to men. I have a need to have a spouse who is a g g r e s s i v e and can really get me lusting for him. I like good reciprocal tit play, good ball play and good reciprocal oral action. Race is no barrier to me. All I ask is that you be an aggres sive, manly, male farie with a good build (trim) and between the ages of 32 & 45 and sin cere in your response to me. Also that you are not feminine or incarcerated. I am not rich nor a scholar, nor can I travel much. I am a simple attractive, caring male who needs that special "fire fly" to put the glow back in my heart and take away the cold and dampness. Photo appreciated returned.

and

George 403 N. Belmont Ave. #1 Richmond, VA 23221

Hello Young Brothers, Are you looking for that "spe cial" older brother or just want to meet a caring friend? Well, here I am! Go ahead little brother— drop this sin cere and caring guy a line today! I'm a G W M , goodlooking and young looking at 25, I stand 6 ', brown hair/eyes, slender type smooth body, and weigh 158 lb. I enjoy meeting new people, and writing. I'm honest, very friendly, and affectionate. I am straight-acting and appear ing, and I'm not into drugs or alcohol. I'm very romantic and I love to cuddle, hold, touch, and kiss all-nite-long! I've many interests from music to getting outdoors and taking long walks in the country. Younger brothers under 30 years write me as I'll look forward to hearing from you! Send me your photo, too, and when I answer, I'll send you a "smiling shot" of me. Please write to me very soon. William B. O'Neal, Jr. 112 Palm Beach Place Apt. 7 Va. Beach, VA 23452

GWM, 45, shy, and still in the closet (rural Alabama does that to you) seeks discrete correspondence with other Alabama GWM (or others) who wish to trade youthful photos, nude or good erotica. I buy, sell, and trade small quanti ties for personal enjoyment only. I do not d e s i r e an early encounter. Perhaps later if vibes are good. I have good material, seek good material. Emphasis on young models. Prefer correspondence within a half day's drive or so from south Alabama. Rick Davis Route 2 140 Miller Drive Newton, AL 36352

I would like to be in contact with others who climb trees a lot just for enjoyment. Clere Englebert Route 3 Fayetteville, TN 37334

I w o u l d like to hear from people who live on or near US H i g h w a y 30 from co a s t to coast. I am interested in d r i v i n g it and w o u l d like information on local condi tions, local lore, local cruising and local hospitali ty. If you can provide any or all of the above, please let me hear from you. If you can't, I'd still like to hear from you. Thanks. John C. Power P.O. Box 14271 Chicago, IL 60614-0271

Dear Friends, I am a down-to-earth country boy, 26 , 16 5# , 5 •11" , blue eyes, beard, and brown balding hair. My inner goal is to be a composer/naturalist. In a few years when my educational loans are smaller I will be able to devote more time to that longing and hopefully relocate to a more acceptable environment. Having made it through one of the toughest transitions in my life and feeling that I am stronger and closer to my center than I have ever been, I feel that I am ready for a special person with whom I can share my life. I would like to find someone of my generation who respects the environment, cherishes the need for personal inde p e n dence, has to have intellectu al as well as sensual stimula tion, can laugh, smile, cry, care, and s o m e t i m e s be a little silly and off-color, is old fashioned yet not stifled by tradition, and is happily intrigued with the new and avant-garde. I would like to build a good friendship through correspondence, first, then meet and pursue a loving relationship. My heart is in the Midwest but I will happily respond to that perfect soul mate that may live in another area. Tracy of Michigan c/o RFD

SsS$S!S!S!SS!S!S!S!S!SS!S!S!S!S^ THP NEW RFD CALENDAR FOR 19Q0 WILL PE OUT THIS FALL look

rnp it !

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 61

Touring partner, That's it, after nearly ten years of traveling alone, while following the Grateful Dead, I want and need some gay friends to be companions with, on the road and off. I'm 27, I live in a small midwestern city. I've been with the Dead since '77, on the road since '80. I play the drums and I love music. When I'm touring I bum rides (pay gas) from show to show, as I don't have a car. It's a good way to meet people. Though I haven't been able to make any solid friendships. I'm not a g a i n s t h a v i n g sex on the road, but I'm not looking for a sexual partner. Just someone/people to share my love for the Dead with. Would enjoy trading tapes, corres ponding, etc. Going it alone has been really interesting, and I've met some really good people. But I need some friends to share this with. I'm in it for the long haul, won't you join me? That way "we will get by, we will survive." Maybe a group of people even!! Well, if you're into the Dead, one or many, and this sounds like something you'd be in terested in, please "let the words be yours, I'm done with mine." Contact me through RFD. Dave c/o RFD

I was reluctant to leave this place. This place of soaring pines and babbling streams. My encampment, high in the Roc kies. But today I must go, rather, t o d a y I can go, I found what I was looking for. Light of day dawned and so did my remembrance of last night's realizations. I am not a pagan or a fairy or any of those other things you call your selves. I am a man. I like to party and rock-nroll. Love to be naked in the woods, build a fire, bar-bque, drink a beer, and smoke one. I am a very healthy man. I am 34 years, 5'10", #180, brn hair/ eyes, and a beard. As much as I enjoy intimate tender sex, I must admit that I enjoy something a little more aggressive. Top or bot tom, no SM/BD though. Just good man to man sex. I sup pose all this stems from roman ancestry. Yet I am a l one, an e r r a n t nomad. As I climb on my Gold Wing and fly to the high coun try I thrill to the feel of all that power, the power and the glory. But I am still alone. On occasion I am lucky enough to have a rider, usually not. The feel of a man riding my big Wing with me is something I miss a lot. To meet a man who'd take the controls and ride me is a dream. Most guys are afraid or lacking in faith & trust. This summer Lois (my faithful steed) and I did a 3K mile tour. In October we'll do it again & return to our winter ing grounds. Perhaps you and I'll meet, if not you'd better write. You are probably a lot like me, about my age, have a lust for life and no "fear of flying." I need a mate. One to grow with, to settle down with. To climb on Lois-yours or mine, ride front or back top or bottom. To build a home and a life, and fly to gether. Come on-let's break the laws of gravity and fly to the stars. Let those who say only opposites attract be damned. Learn "How to Save Your Own Life."

By the way, this winter, I hope to share in more detail, some s t o r i e s of what will total almost 8000 miles on a bike called LOIS, with RFD readers. From the deserts of the Southwest to the Rocky Mts, wheatfields of wheat, the Ozarks, the Blue Ridge and the East Coast. 11 states in all. If riding 1000 lbs of steel and chrome across northwestern New Mexico at daybreak and the throbbing drone of the big ma chine between your legs might put a lump in your levis, come on let's fly. If there's a special "Lois" in your life good, I like doing it side by side. I want to give you and take from you what is needed to make the two as one. I am ready and I am man enough, are you. I don't care where you live. I don't care what you do to earn a living, I support my self and know you are capable of doing the same. I'd like to do it together, but I tried it o n c e and got b u r n e d . That's not to say I wouldn't do it again. If you've taken the time to read this, thank you. These have been the thoughts of a man sitting in a hammock, in the Rockies, overlooking the edge of the Colorado Plateau. I just wish you were here. Maybe next time.

I'd like to hear from young men interested in older expe rienced correspondent/phone calls later. Like hiking, camping, cooking, some pain ting in oils. Herb Koon P.O. Box 211 Flora Vista,

87415

Dear Readers, I'm seeking some honest soul who likes animals, birds and plants as a vocation. Accom modations and salary (negoti able) for a compatible person here. This is an interesting s i t u a t i o n s o c i a l l y , etc. Located 25 minutes from Sacra mento; 2 hours from San Fran cisco Bay Area and 3 hours from Reno. F. Newhall P.O. Box 722 Galt, CA 95632

Be ever mindful of the needs of others and have a grateful heart. Love, Nomad c/o RFD

Hello, I'm 23 years old, white, brown hair and eyes and somebody says I am attractive. I love to travel, sex, to photograph seascapes and men. I collect photos of black men and I im mensely would like to get the August issue from 1986 of HOT/ SHOTS magazine, the February issue from 1987 by INCHES magazine and the special issue MEN OF INCHES. In change I cannot send coffee, banana, Carmen Miranda or Samba to you, but I can sent pictures of the Indian Portuguese, African Negro miscegenation (or mixture) which resulted in 62

a glad people, healthful, so willing and eternally bronzed by the sun that sines in this tropical country on the South of Equator, blessed by God and naturally full of beauties. I would like to contact models and actors who perform homoerotical movies. It seems to me it's a very interesting profession, I'd like to get more information about that fascinating work. I also want to contact white homosexuals that feel attraction for black ones or black homosexuals that feel attraction for white ones. My g o a l is to get friends through letters and exchange photos of any type. I like sex, I'm passionate for the theme and I immensely like to discuss it, but I prefer when I practice the theories. But I'm not an empty person or destitute of feelings due to this strong inclination. I am sincere and I don't fear to take charge of my preferences, although exaggerated, for sex. I guess sex is life and life is something that will never be solved, so this eternal q u e s t for sex, to s o l v e life___ Pedro Viera Araujo C.P. 854 60.001 Fortaleza CE Brazil

Dearest RFD & Faeriebrothers, It has been a solstice and a bit, since I wrote to you all about my LEATHER CAPE (now named, appropriately "CAPE") and how I w i s h e d it to be stitched and loved together with leather from all over the land. Since that issue, I have had no less than four wonderful responses, all from around the continent! Bless them all! I have "mapped" out the styl

ing and configuration of CAPE, and of course, if anyone else would like to send along their 'donation,' I am more than happy to include it as I go along in its creation. So far, scraps of leather have come in the forms of a piece used to rep a i r b e l l o w s in player pianos; a side of a hiking boot that has seen the like of Israel, and the Grand Canyon; a complete green cap that I'm sure has 'seen' many things from its wearer's head; and a piece of leather coming from an experienced leather f a e r i e on the west coast. Quite a start I'd say! So CAPE will be starting out just fine I think. And just for the record, I am still 35 years old at this point, now own four cats (lost three of them, unhappily), plants and books, and I still have that short hair on top, long blondish pony tail at the back! Wella Balsam is still alive and kicking up her heels for the masses (see issue #54), and now she has a long-lost brother to cope with...Wel lington Balsam! Thank the goddess they don't like each other too much, so they never appear together in the same place! My candleburning goes on for those who need it. Yellow becomes my focus color, while red (my favorite color) impas sio n s me with much n e e d e d energy for doing all I do in this life. I burn blue all the time when l e a v i n g and arriving in my travels. And I handle purest white with care, k n o w i n g it is a b e a u t i f u l light/color/power to behold. Blessed be to all merryfold who cross my many paths, be it faerie, leather, rubber, s/m, squaredancing, theater, or travel in general. You are all wondrous to me and I will always have much to learn from you, no matter how 'experi enced' I feel I have become. Do write me and let me know how you are. Send the leather to CAPE, and I will honor you and your gift to it and me. Light on your path, dearest ones.... Northwind P.O. Box 2253 Vancouver, BC Canada V6B 3W2 63

PHYSICAL: I am 27 years old, 5'11", 145 lb. black Jamaican male. Very attractive (some say handsome), clean cut, bl a c k hair, b r o w n eyes, petite. PERSONALITY: Mature, loyal, honest, sincere, fair, bal anced, intelligent, refined, sophisticated with a fantastic "taste for life" and a sense of humor. INTERESTS: Traveling, reading (Psychology Today, Architec tural Digest, National Geo graphic, Connoisseur), watch ing Old Movie Classics, lis tening to contemporary music including latin music, collec ting antiques, gemology and meeting interesting people. SPORTS: Badminton, nis, lawn tennis.

table ten

PROFESSION: Consulting Analyst with specialization in human resources. DISLIKES: Club scenes, any form of drugs, S&M, leather freaks, Perverted Sex Maniacs, chain smokers and promiscuous persons of ill repute. SEEKING: Special friend with similar morals and ideals. Should preferably be in the 25-50 age group mature profes sional who s h a r e the same interests. Mexicans, Cubans and other Latins are a plus. Let's build a long and lasting friendship, let's visit each other, exchange gifts, travel t o g e t h e r and s h a r e e a c h other's secrets. If you are serious then write to me today with or without a photograph. It took me 6 months to decide to write this advertisement, in fact it is totally out of character. So if you feel the same way then write today. Thanks for reading. Andres P.O. Box 316 Kingston 10 Jamaica, W.I.

■

sags • ■>. ' r • ^<4

Friends, Brothers across the sea, I plan on a trip to Canada/USA for the coming spring/early summer and would like to meet with some new people as well as old friends. The itinerary is not yet completely fixed but I want to see Quebec and maybe even Alaska.

O IO W N N S R O O T

3 4 5 S O ir m 12111 8 T . • n i U A FA 1 9 1 *7 G a y M en's, L e sb ian and F e m in ist B o o k s, m agazin e s, records, etc. Sto re and M a ll order

Me, I'm 30 years old, dark blond hair and beard. Maybe we can get together and you'll show me your part of the country. If planing on a trip to Europe then you're very welcome to visit me. Munster is a cen trally situated city with a beautiful country side. Hope to hear from you soon. A warm big hug from HENNING MAKBUHGEfl Cheruskerring 47 4400 Munster West Germany

I spin sheep’s wool into yarn for handknits and other things. I’d like to support nyself by spinning. Please write to *e if you’re interested in getting yarn for your next winter’s projects. Fairy Fleece c/o RFD

r'.n o o o o 0 6 0 c 000 o * ® d o>

I le v ie w

a gay men’s literary journal Annual subscription: $17, two years Sample issue: $2.50

$12 Canada

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The James White Review PO Box 3356, Traffic Station Minneapolis, MN 55403

B E S T E V E R ! Third Edition! TT)e W hole Q ay C atalo g For gay men and lesbians, their families and friends, this THIRD EDITION of T H E W H O L E G A Y C A T A L O G brings the world of lesbian and gay literature as close as your telephone or m ailbox. Offers a m ultitude of BOOKS, plus VIDEOS, R E C O R D S & TAPES, GIFTS, and more! Over 100 pages, indexed. O R D E R

T h e Q u arterly F o r N u rtu rin g M en

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YOU R S N O W ! F R O M T H E W O R L D ’S L E A D I N G G A Y A N D LESBIAN BOOKSTORE!

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Subscription Rale • 1987

Please send me Vfo Whole Qay Catalog I Enclose $2.

M ail to:

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Lambda Rising

187 Caselii Avenue San Francisco, CA 94114 415-861 0847 David L. Giveans. Publisher

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a$S$!$!SSS 5s!SSS!$SS53 ^ ^ Dear RFD’ers --

The

Am&

Call for our catalogs: 1 8 0 0 2 2 2 6 9 9 6 ( O U T S ID E PA) (2 1 5 ) 9 2 3 2 9 6 0 (PA)

On my two previous trips I had the chance to meet some gentle beautiful men and hopefully it will be the same this time. I enjoy the country side, good vegetarian food, music and books. I also have a great love for bearded men.

“The Jam a White Revifu/s editors and their contributors together are producing a valuable contribution not only to the Amencan literary scene, but to our self-affirmation and eventual survival as a people.” Gay Community News

WE NEED TM ORVER TO HELP RFC OVER ITS CURRENT CASH FLOWTZOBLEM WE ARE MAKING A SPECIAL APPEAL FOR VONATIONS. AS A PART OF THIS APPEAL WE OFFER THE FOLLOWING SPECIAL INCENTIVE. FOR EVERY VONATI ON OF $50 WE WILL SENT VOU, WHILE THEY LAST, ONE OF THE NEW RFV T-SHIRTS, ALL 100% COTTON, W A COPY OF NEW HEN, NEW MINVS, THE CURRENTTF^T~ W r L E R EVJTEV SV FRANKLIN AWIT. FOp A VONATJON op *75 (t’E WILL *FNO vnu snrH THE T-SHIRT [PLEASE SREC.IFV SI7F) A W THE BOOK! IT’S A GREAT VEAL FOR vt\i ANV A ^REAT HELP FOR US.

YOUR SUPPORT!

Y E S

(fo r a l l g a y m e n )

Yes w e h a v e cou rag e Yes w e do. It w asn 't so m eth in g w e w ou ld ever use It w a s fo r it?

b a ttle s

w asn 't

or m ou n tain clim bin g. Or w a s it ours to ev er hav e, did w e even b elie v e it w ou ld m erge in our shou lders m ove ou r arm s m a k e th e bed co o k th e next m eal, sm ile.

A nd cou rage sm iles

yes i t d oes

an d it is given w hen it is needed. So n ow w e are sp e c ia l

Yes

bu t n o t in any p o m p ou s w ay , ju s t f o r every sm ile, w e register cou rag e th a t w ay .

■JOHN & faerie-brother CHARLES, Summer ’87

O ur n ew g ift

J O H N

w e w o u ld ra th er n ot so sternly carry

B ut death's as real as m oney an d rum an d the w ild stars c a ll w ith sudden v oices. Tom Young

In cre d ib le . lu s t incre d ib le . Th is m a g a z in e is 6*sl I ’ve s 99n. e t p r e s s i n g the id e a s ot the A q u a ria n m a g ic a l m o v e m e n t today. C h a n g e s Journal

... 4

fine m a g a z in e

Anna McCalfay E le g a n t to toon at. a n d g o o d re a d in g. C le a r ly tills a need.

Gary Sn/dar . 4

h a p p y venture.

Ray Bradbury

M e encouraged us to embrace a philosophy of delightism. He taught us by loving example. With courage he suffered more than five bouts of pneumocystis, the effects of cryptococal meningitis, CMV, MAI, and two years of the best medical experimentation Johns Hopkins could muster.

Contributors have included • • • • • •

S O

R ai sed by de af par en ts , educa ted at An t ioch , and skilie d as a care giver to the d ifferent1y-a b1ed. he was the k inci o f PerSO I about wh0m we can say "the bes t arid the br igh test" wi th0ut hype rbole. Ind<sed he was th e fruit and f1owe r of our mo dern gay 1iber at i0n moven ent. Ever thought ful , und erSt and in8 and t01era n t, he app 1ied with in teg rity the se att r lbu tes to his gent 1e i dance of 8a1tlmo re’s PWA Co ali t ion. Af fronted by £0cial and econom ic iin jus tice he ch a11enged the statu 2 quo of a cor ruP t body P01itic w ith miss i0nary zeal and pe rce PtiV e po 1itlca 1 analysis. ’Role m0de1’ is insufflc lent . An othe r era would hav e ca lie d him a ’saint ’ or ’ sage.

CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY IN THE ’80s takes you on a transform- ,j i ative journey as it ex- 4 plores ancient and ■• modern myths, magic L ^ and mysticism, chart''1 v ing the development A •f x of a new global age. r . ' t

R I O

O n e of the most compassionate and gentle faerie brothers to have graced our lives and gatherings, John Glorioso died on Epiphany Eve of this year. He spoke of himself as an ’isosapiens,’ a believer in and advocate for the equality of all sentient beings, a lover and respectful of all life.

or h a v e m u sic tw ice as sw eet.

M agical Blend M agazine

L O

April 12, 1953 -- January 5, 1989

o r sm ile in the f a c e o f so much

reprinted from l i v e Minneapolis, MN

ROBERT ANTON WILSON RO&ERT FRIPP JOAN HALIFAX WENDY PINI PETER GABRIEL JOHN LILLY

n«v*iafor> laaiu'as •

nn Tarot. A*iroio$r. Moitaiic Hea'th *n<columns t * Whaias and

DoJO'^ms • Vi*»onary A»t • Poetry • Com»cs

F-’or those of us who loved him and were blessed with his gentle love and concern, the mystery and apparent injustice of life and death remain. We grieve his passing, acutely feel our loss and hope that we may reflect in our lives some of the grace and goodness so manifest in his.

L Sample copy $4 4 Issue subscription $12 8 issue subscription $20 Mail check to: . . Magical Blend Magazine. Dept, n r u P O Bo* 11303 San Francisco. CA 94101

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A QuarttHy Journal o f Kerbs

Articleson Growing & Cooking with Herbs Folk Medicines. Recipes & Book Reviews Plant & Seed Sources & Calendar of Events Available by Subscription— $10 yearly

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Ch,n« ln« *•" of » U ■(>], eulturn. And sexual orientations strlvln* to crests a Celebratory and Healln* Space for •'* Sh»rln« - Fl»y and Ritual £hich Is non-sexist, llfe-afflraln«, snd Esrth-centered. Publishes Brotherson* i 1 ^ Bothers ths Earth. Subscription" issue 's f 90< " *5^ 57 For m o r * Inforaatlon on Network and Publloatlon oontaot EsrtWtln at above address.. .C o m nro wicrs...C I toT

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Healers, Shamans, Gay mens Lesbians, Friends , We at this faerie-operated sehool invite you r to come and • celebrate your body, ^ • study the language of touch, • experience the healing power of breath, • learn to heal with erotic energy.

A WEEKEND WORKSHOP FOR GAV MEN TO REDI5C0UER OUR TRIBAL ROOTS "Who are we?" "Where have we come from?" "What are we here for?" It is time to move from becoming "respectable" on the straight world's terms to learning self respect. Shake off the wounds of conformity and claim your gay vision. Explore the deeper signifi cance of gay identity. We gay folk, who Great Mother Nature has been assembling as a separate people must now emerge from the shadows. When we begin to love and respect Nature's gift to us of gay ness. we'll discover that the bondage of our childhood and adolescence was actually an apprenticeship she designed for teaching her children new cutting edges of conscious ness and social change. FACILITATED BV JULIAN SPAL DING AND TERRV BROUN. For in formation. write: ENSPIRIT MENT WORKSHOP, POB 35160, Albuquerque, NM 87176.

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Includes the current issu es of The Unicom & The Littlest Unicorn newsletters; P L U S descriptions of courses of study, retreats, & the Mystery School which trains Priests & Priestesses in the Tradition of Lothlorien.

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The medical profession totally mis understands the concept of constipation Foods with excess fat. protein or car bohydrates take 6 10 times longer to digest than fully nutritio us fru its and vegetables; hence such foods constipate. The exceptionally slow movement of such foods m the digestive tract causes America's leading diseases: gastritis, heartburn, ulcers, appendicitis, diver ticulitis. gall bladder and heart disease Longer digestion time also increases tox ms through bacteria proliferation which m turn causes mal absorption of nutrients and immune su p p re ssio n; problem s which give rise to a host of various com mon ailments and strange degenerative diseases Colon hygiene daily detoxifies the body allowing internal awareness For his published research. Enem as for Health, send $ 10 to Steve Firk in s. 1226 Haight St.. San Francisco. CA 94117 The Shower Bidet $50 (safe, quick cleansing) Phone Consultations $25, $50.

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ue welcome advertising - especially from gay-owned enterprises.

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is not copyrighted. However, each accredited contribution published (photo, drawing, C o V i R\ £>H-T > pFD i t s e l f material) remains the property of those contributors, and nothing of theirs may be used ► *_»**,**•«*.* * •*•» ».*•* or~written without their permission. Any non-credlted material may be republished freely. Mention of sourer '»*«.*•* would be appreciated. W ; Due dates for submissions to receive full consideration are: ,*£ DUE PATE5 1989 Tssue 457 Jan. 15, 1989 tvt rr* »■„•*/ * Spring Summer 1989 Issue *58 April 15, 1989 Fall 1989 Issue 459 July 15, 1989 ***** -** *1,1 »»*♦. So me material can be used if received after these dates, so try anyway.

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