RFD Issue 57 Spring 1989 by RFD Magazine Gay

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As you can see, we are just about back on schedule with RFD. The momentum of publishing the last three issues has left us somewhat breathless, but smiling. We hope you won't tire of hearing us say how much we truly enjoy preparing every issue, for we do - we knew from the beginning how important RFD was to each one of us individually. But we really were not ready for the response we received from you, our readers, to our re quest for help in issue #55. Contributions started flowing in from hither and yon. We put every dollar to good use, and, although not yet completely out of the hole (more contributions are still needed), the anticipated struggle for survival has been almost totally alleviated. We took the more spiritual stance of having faith in our readers than giving-in to the "harsh financial realities" - other journals might have dis solved under similar circumstances. If it were possible to publish all the encouraging response, monetary and otherwise, you would understand the glow we are feeling now. However, financial pressures forced us to put on hold both the PWA and Prisoner programs which brought RFD to these brothers. We are presently exploring grant possibilities (maybe a sugar-daddy?) to enable us to resume this important outreach. Especially important to us is to improve on producing a "coun try-focused" journal that addresses your wants and needs. We read your letters at our weekly staff meetings and want you to know that they are the most motivating force for RFD's direc tion. And since the proverbial "squeaky wheel" does get the oil we ask for more of your letters to tell us what you want. For example, we have discussed including more news items such as the important Sharon Kowalski issue, but decided that other publications handle that area of Gay news, our focus being somewhat different. Do you feel that way too? We use the term "country-focus" - what does that mean to you? More gardening? More fiction? What kind? RFD is truly a jewel in the area of Gay publications. help us polish it to an even finer brilliance, With gratitude and love,

HORTYfloiAA>?*i>J Cow.k.eC7iu£

Please

RFD is a reader-written jour nal for gay men which focuses on country living and en courages alternative life styles. Articles often ex plore the building of a sense of community, radical faerie consciousness, the caring for the environment, as well as sharing gay men's experiences. Editorship responsibility is shared between the Department Editors and the Managing Edi tors. The business and general production is centered at Short Mountain Sanctuary in rural middle Tennessee. Fea tures are often prepared in various places by different groups. RFD (ISSN 0149-709X) is published quarterly for $15 per year by Short Mountain Collective, Rt. 1, Box 84A, Liberty, TN 37095. Second class postage is paid at Liberty, TN and additional mailing offices. Postmaster: send address changes to RED P0 Box 68, Liberty, TN 37095 ISSN # 0149-709X USPS # 073-010-00 Non-orofit tax exempt status under #23-7199134 as a func tion of Gay Community Social Services, Seattle Washington. MEMBER: CCLM (Coordinating Council of Literary Magazines) COSMPE (The International Assoc, of Independent Publishers) IGLA (Int'l Gay & Lesbian Assoc. ) INDEXED by Alternative Press Media PO Box 33109 Baltimore, MD 21218

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C ollective Production this Issue: Short Mountain Collective Feature: New Mexico Faeries

VOL-UrsITEEtEfR

D E P A R T M E N T

Book Reviews Ken Wal1er-Zanghi Kitchen Queen Buddy May TN Lunar Calendar Moonhawk TN Poetry Steven Riel MA Spirituality Paul Maier KY

E D I TX

CREDIT OMMISION FROM * 56: Feature: Faeries of Willow Hollow Ranch,

Front Cover Design: Adapted & Enhanced by Walton Hushes 2

Back Cover Artworx Oonaia Engstrom

B ondar F esttvo D esnudo R ebirth F rom the D esert Vol. XV No.3

Spring 89

ARTICLES AND ESSAYS The Shawl The Absence of Fear: An Open Leter Gurleens Engage in Faerie Direct Action Out With the Hilibillys Doub1e Rainbow BOOK REVIEWS Gays/Justice. A Studv of Ethics, Society. & Law Love Alone: 18 Elegies for Roo The Hidden Image A Mistress Moderately Fair Unnatural Quotations CONTACT LETTERS FEATURE Spiritual Reflections From the New Mexican High Desert Interview Witn a Biosexual Holv Ground is Where You Find It From a Leter To a Friend Poem A Gathering of the Tribe The Connections Created Go On... The New Mexico Lesbian & Gay Spirituality Conference: A Personal Experience Book Review: The Chalice and the Blade Jane Fonda in Tibet"-Body Electric Workshop With Joe Kramer Swastika Lovers Alex in the Sky With Diamonds FEY ARTS If You Meet a Poet... GATHERINGS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS HEALTH KITCHEN QUEEN LAW

An Ooen Letter to the Readers of RFD What to Do When the FBI Comes Calling LETTERS LUNAR CALENDAR NETWORKING NEWS POETRY Corroboree The Dance Master Living Alone Faggots An Intrusion on Her Retirement Dreamers Waiting for No Man To the Other Language Master For the Man Who Eats Worms Idiot Pied Piperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pencil Cold Boy A God-Damn Cave Brook SPIRITUALITY A Letter to RFD Readers Faeries, Shamans, & Other Wild Beasts THEATER More Than Names: A Review 3

No. 57

18 20

Jack Davis R. Timothy Jackson Mabeline Gur1een Terry Deli mont Hyperion

26 56 58 51 5) 52 52 53 53 55 27 27 29 30 31 3I 32 33

Di m id Michael Mason David Edington Douglas Conwe11 Mari Susan Selby

33 35 36 37 38

Buck A. Rhodes Milo Pi lo Mark Lind Rand B. Lee

22 22

Frank 1in Abbott

Frank E. Grant Steven Riel Mark Skinner Robyn Kev1 in Plum Nelly Dimid & Milo

10 50 25 25 25 5 12 7 8

15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 16 16 16 16 16 16

17 17 50 39 39

Ivor C. Treby Winthrop Smith Robert Kaplan Nora Mitchell Jane McCle11an Patch Quyn Hillel Schwartz Larry D. Griffin David Gerry Greg Zak Tasche j.w.m. Steven Smith Alan Atkinson Paul Maier Michele Lindroos Raphael Sabatini

Dear Brothers, It wouid be GREAT to read one AIDS-FREE issue (a year’) (once in awhile.) I’m not unsymoathetic/empathetic. So much “Aidress" seems to be 'almost) an internalization of heterosexist stereotyp1 f1 catlon.

RcC , Please cancel ny subscription to yeur magazine. I was d.sappointed in the content of my first issue. Feel free to keep the balance o* my subscription fees.

C.J. Connor

00000©

Gooa luck with your efforts, H.R. Beni ine

Dear people at RFD, The winter issue was inter esting, Thanks.

Short N't. Collective, Thanks so much for taking over RFD. I liked “Out With the Hillbillies" and would enjoy reading more about areas of the U .S . How about a question and answer column for RPD. I'm sure many o* us have the same questions about AIDS, sex and rural gay life in general. Blue skies, John Ucoiano Great idea! how bout it folks. Friends,

000 0 0 0

Just wanted to tell you what a thrill it was to open my mail box and pull out a maniia envelope with an RFD stamp on it 1 It *eit like a visit #rom a iong lost friend. Many blessings for the folks at Short Mountain. May the magazine flourish there'

I was disgusted, however, to see the following line on p 37 “People wno have developed AIDS view being alive as a oeepiy threatening experience. I KNOW this to be a LIE, an indictment, and pure 3ULLSHI'r. I hope tie phi iosophy of RFD is not going in this direction Are we reacting so much to western medicine that we go to the opposite extreme? °i ssed, Satya littiebear

0000 0 0 Dear rnends, Hate to think Ron is no longer with RFQ, but I’m sure being tired over-worked and underpaid wears thin, wish him all the best! Your picture made me smile. The word diversity came to m ind ;

000000 Hello, Imagine my amazement, upon receiving a sample issue (#55) of RFD, to discover that there are Radical Faeries out there, too. I hac begun to conclude that I was something "different", but put a name, and a concept and a magazine to it, too. wonderful. Please *eep it up 1 Yours truly, wee D. Doran

Dear RFD,

I am very happy that ny faverite periodical is once again coni * > w C w* w • WO * w 3w 6s in ao many norths. Fantastic! This housenold is verv p*eased that Moonhawk is provid ing us with his beautiful urar Cal endar. A very useful tool, net only for gardening. I must take exception with something he saia in issue 56. Voonhawk said that the Lunar EcLpse will not be visible in toe U.S. I am here to tell you that the eclipse was beautiful ~ne ~oon turned to a moody snade of red-orange and carkened as the eclipse became total.... “he experience was power ful. I anxiously await the solar eclipse and the conjunction. wove and light, Joseph E. Wegener Palmer, Alaska Moonnawk responds:

Love, Paul

00000 Dear RFD,

Best wishes \ much 1 cv », Michael Hampton

000000

I .eaily like what you’ve done with issue $56 and I’m even more delighted that you’re going toward a more "country" focus. I was :orn and raised in the ”boonies" and I love it and miss it and can’t wait to return “Cut With the Hillbillies" is a great idea and Mark Skinner’s photography is sensa I I cn a 1 . You’re Going a terrific job. Keep it rolling. Love you all and best wishes, James V. Smith a

When I said the eciiose wouid not be visible in the U.S., I was referring to the contin ental U.S. I did not mean to slight Alaska and Hawaii. I apologize for offending you.

000000c: Dear People, Sever before have I written to a magazine when my subscrip tion ran out, but RFD is not just a magazine, it is something that’s neeced: a gathering when we can't gather always wit hi friends, broths. -> and those we love) a place to -easure growth and awareness: a •*cr c e , a vo.ee H r positive charge) a bit c •*--yes- - oar ity .

2* zr

RCD

cror sale, RCD :su ss # 1 -29. vaks ae an of^er. Wr its tc AV i5q , At he ** V ~-~ •> 3 wwA Aiie w 7 1 2 3 l. Enc icss SASE if you want a reply.

©ee>e>© RFD Editors, In response to the article "Flu Vaccination Encouraged". I was disturbed reading this! Who is doing the encouragement And Why? I appreciate RFD as a reader written journal, realizing each article is the opinion of the contributor, yet I need to state "opinions taken are not always in our best interest." We gay people at this time are faced with many choices/alter ra tives where health issues are concerned. Unfortunately many of us are plugged into mainstream "Western Thinking" and chemical medicine. We need to re-evaluate what our choices even are. Vaccinations SEEM to be part o' the muitifactorial ca*.se ox weakened immune systems in AIDS patients, -he May !1, '987 London Times reportec that the incidence of AIDS is highest in those countries where the World Health Organ ization (WHO pursued wicespread sraali-pox vacci nation in the !970’s. Brazil has one of the highest rates of AIDS cases in the world, and Brazil is the only South American country where small pox vaccine was widely used. About >4,000 Haitians (one of the supposed "risk groups") worked in the mines in Zaire in the •97 0 ’s before returning to Haiti. Incidentally many U.S. homosexuals took char tered vacation trips to Haiti in the '970’s. Finally guess - o -as chosen for -..bespread hepat^t.s-3 vaccination in the • ' •~ w . w < /**.cc w * w r.t ft-o*o ~ j ta ua * Experiments conducted pri marily through the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and the dru0 companies, 'housands of gay «,eo volunteered for these experiments *n \ew York, San Francisco, and .os Angeles C’978-) 93 :>.

The fact exists of biological agents that have found their way into various vaccines, through the tissue cultures which were used that were contaminated by neglect before the vaccine was grown. These facts are being stated by highly intelligent scientists, medical doctors, researchers, and authors with practical, open minds through free press methods. Even if the AIDS contamination of the vaccines was not deliberate, there has been a deliberate "cover-uo" of a lot of information. I only ask you to consider your choices wisely, as your life may depend on it. Scarecrow ©e©e>© Dear Short Mountain faeries

(')

Hi* Welcome to carrying the RFD torch! I was "shaken" a little to see that amoung the possible cut backs you’re considering are the already bare-boned (support-wise) gay prisoners. For a group of fine queers who are often able to remember the "secunfying" role that money and white skin and being strait can play in tis society, we do forget now and then the regular (not unusual) disregard our "justice" ("Just us") department has for the unmonied (un-lawyered etc.), the colorful and the queer. (“Well if they’re in there, they must have done something!") Well, I’ve been doing a prisoner project at GCN for about 10 years now, and believe me, it ain’t so clean as all that; and I hope RFD and its readers won’t choose to aban don this already much abandoned part of our body politic. Your readers who are specially interested in seeing a "fresh list of gay penpals each week may be referred to Gay Community News 62 Berkeley St, Boston MA, 02116. Thanks for all you do, Mike Riegle

Dear RFD/Short Mountain Collective, Congratulations! Your Winter issue #56 was a splendid be ginning in your new home in Tennessee. After spending many of my evenings this past Fall reading our collection of past RFD’s, it’s wonderful to see the progress of the magazine as well as the con tinuity of traditions. Having had a hand in the pre paration of the feature, "Re evaluating Food and Drugs", I quickly realized that many long, tedious hours are spent on each issue, and I thank you for ail your efforts. RFD is a priceless journal of our gay/rural/faerie heritage that hopefully will make a difference in the lives of those who are touched by its pages and networks. In issue #56, I especially en joyed "Bonsai” by William Shepardson, the photography of Mark Skinner, and the poet ry of Rudy Kikel, T. Nebiett, Robert Kaplan and Philip Wordsmith. It was exciting to see the new or perhaps re vived sections in the jour nal: Lunar Calendar, Spirit uality and Gatherings. My only wish for RFD is that the gardening/farming section be expanded and more fiction/fan tasy stories included. I would like to publicly thank W. Wayne Lindsey (Moyock) for his exceptional work in the layout of the fea ture “Re-evaluating Food and Drugs". Without his help, it would not have been the pro fessional piece that it is. Thanks again for your dedica tion and love that has only just begun to make a differ ence in the lives of gay men everywhere. Sincerely, Pinecone e e e e e

RFD’s current prisoner program is to offer one back issue to any prisoner who requests a free sub scription. Subscriptions are available to prisoners for $ 1 0 . We are looking into grants to fund our prisoner program, so we can again offer free subs, to prisoners. Please consider donating a subscription so our gay brothers behind bars can enjoy RFD too. Thanks. 5

RADICAL FAERIE GATHERINGS

ITHACA RURAL GATHERING

Here Is a listing of all the places we know that host gatherings some we did not have contacts for. Please write to the contact listed to get more specific information. If you would like to be a part of this listing please let us know. Urban Faerie Circles can be listed as well. The more we network the stronger we become 1

Friday June 16- Tuesday June 20 rhis gathering is held on Tom Seidner’s iana outside of Itnaca ■"here is lots of room for camping (and camping) as well as a lovely pona for swimming. Many good spots for rituals, one is planned for the full moon Sunday evening. The cost is $7/ day or pay what you can afford. After tne gathering faeries will oe caravaning to NYC for the FAG. For more information C 3 l l Tom at 607-273-0558.

Blue Heron Farm Rt. I Box I44 Dekalb, NY 13630 Chicago Faeries c/o Midwest Men’s Center PO Box <1547, Chicago, IL 60690 Ganawango, western NY Jay Stratton 121 Union St. Westfield NY I4787

Nomenus PO Box 11655 San Francisco CA 9410 1 Northeastern Faeries TomSeidner 90 Lieb Rd. Spencer NY 14883 Northwestern Faeries 1206 1st Ave. #23 Seattle WA 98101 Northwoods John Sutton 2440 Garfield Ave. S Minneapolis MN. 55405 Ottawa/Eastern Canada no contact

Gray Lady Place Kenn Wah1er-Zanghi PO Box 6 1I, Blum TX 76627

Rainwoods Sk yh awk P08 203, Fork Union, VA 23055

L ’Affarie David Givens Rt. t Sox 6i4 Pollack LA 7l4o9

Running Water Center Rt. 1 Box 115 Bakersville NC 28705

2ND ANNUAL QUEENS BIRTHDAY PETE "he Ontario faeries invite you to attend the Second Annual Queens Birthday Gathering May 19 thru the 2 2 , situated on an idyllic 100 acre farm. Last year 35 people from as far away as New York, Toronto, Chicago and Montreal attended. ~ne eastern Ontario iocation is only 60 miles from the American border. Easily accessable by Interstate 81 for our American friends, -or information call Ken at 613-2325220.

Mid-Atlantic Faeries San Francisco Faeries SOFTENING THE STONE Bob Lubarsky contact Nomenus 220 N. Mulberry St Lancaster PA Men’s Gathering & Ceiebraton 17603 Short Mountain Sanctuary Memorial Day Weekend Rt. 1 Box 84-A Liberty TN 37G95 May 26-29 1989 Midwest Men’s Festival To play, teach and nurture. David Hubert Southern California Workshops, sweats, mudpit 1 1523 S 10th #108 Saint Louis MO Harry Hay/John Burnside dancing, talent show, and other 63104 5343 La Cresta Ct. L.A. CA stuff. We outreach to gay and 90030 strait men. Contact: Matthew or New York City FAG Gathering Pnaedrus, Twin Oaks Community, PO Box 1251, Canal St. Sta. NY. Willow Hollow Ranch Rt. 4 Box 169, Louisa VA, 23093. NY 10013 PO Drawer 70 Purlear NC 28665 Cost $15-30 for three days. 6

RUNNING WATER CENTER

1989 PA INBOW GATHERING

HAIMOWOODS SPRING g a t h e r i n g

Summer Gathering June 16-18 This is a mixed gathering of This gathering is sponsored by Roan Mountain where Rhododenfolks who live on the edge of the Men Nurturing Men and will oe druns grow as tali as trees, is mainstream culture. Since 1981 held June 1-4 in the Chicago a nature lover’s dream come true the Radical Faeries have partici area. For more information write Located in what nas been called pated with their own camp, adding Midwest Men’s Center, PO Box "the most beautiful section of the lavendar band to the rainbow 2547, Chicago IL, 606^0 the whole Southern Appalachian flag. Each year we find greater range”, Running Water has often acceptance in the Rainbow family. been referred to as "a natural RAINWOODS Come and make this the most healing place”. Its now in it’s fabulous camp ever. The dates are 2 nd decade of loving emoraces. July 1-7 the location is in a A wilderness gathering place in One weekend, but people can stay National Forest in Nevada. the heart of rural Virginia. longer. Registration is $25 plus Contact: Dennis or Jonathan at Simple, basic tent camping only$ 6 /day. Bring camping gear. no luxuries, just what is 415/558-8616 House has some facilities. We’re naturally here. Weekend and weekopen for guests from May to long retreats individually and October. Write for more details: NORTHWOODS GATHERING collectively. Planned seasonal This is the second year faeries Running Water Center, Rt. 1 Box gatherings. Visits welcome year will be gathering at toe head 115, Bakersville N C , 28705 round. Nominal gratuities. F0r waters of the St. Croix river on additional information and 400 beautiful secluded acres. details write to: Skynawk The dates for the gathering are SHORT MOUNTAIN BELTANE BASH Rainwoods, POB 203, Fork Union August 4-13. Contact: John VA, 23055. Please include a SASE Sutton, 2440 Garfield Ave. S, Let your hair down and run wild for your reply. Thank Vou! Minneapolis MN, 55405 on 200 acres of heavily wooded land in Middle Tennessee. Snort M O R E ! SEE HOT FLASH PAGE 9 Mountain Sanctuary is nosting tneir ninth spring gathering. This year we will celebrate with the winding of a maypole, sweats workshops and fabulous drag. Unlike most faerie gatherings we welcome toe oart i cipation of wimmin. Registration is $25 in advance, $30 "at the gate”, plus $6 a day for food. No one will be turned away for lack of funos NEW MEXICO RFD’ERS The dates are April 28 thru May 7. There will oe a pre-gathering There is an organization in New work week as well from April 21- INTERNATIONAL LESBIAN-GAYMexico for those who are inter BISEXUAL YOUTH CONFERENCE 27. Please write: SMS, Rt. 1 Box ested or involved in land-owning 84-A, Liberty TN, 37095, or call (including coooerative purchasing Copenhagen, Denmark is hosting 615-536-5176 t m s years gathering, July 30-31 Bartering of produce, goods, services, cottage industries, and August 1-3. There will be a crafts, gardening, or simply variety of workshops and MIDWEST MENS FESTIVAL rural/country life in general, discussions on the theme of with gay (and lesbian) friends "SEXUALITY". For information The dates for this years men’s and neighoors. Write to: New contact: Ungdomsgruppen, IGLYO fest are August 19-September ]. Mexico G/L Homesteaders’ Associ Conference 1989, Knaorostraedet This is a mixed mens gathering 3, DK-1210 Copenhagen <., Pnone: ation, c/o ACL, Box 6)35, Taos, with outreach done to gay and NM 87571. >45 1 131948 nongay men. Tpe usual wonoerfui activities founa at most gatherings wiil nappen. The NAMES PROJECT QUILT festival is held at a group camp 1989 NORTH AMERICAN TOUR at Lake of the Ozarks State Park in Missouri. Caoins as well as TOUR CITY DATE -OCAL CONTACT camping are available. Contact: David Huoert, 1523 S 10th #108, Aust in A p n i 28-30 Daniel 512/478-8014 Saint Louis MO 63104. Oklahoma City May 5-7 Matthew 405/949-2952 Philadelphia May 12-14 Charlie 2)5/627-0360 WILLOW HOLLOW RANCH Rochester NY *ay 19-21 Tim 7)6/428-7538 Portland ME May 26-28 Ed 207/774-6877 P holistic healing center in the Halifax June 2-4 Paul 902/455-7347 mountains of North Carolina, Montreal June 9-11 Willow Hollow is nosting their Ottawa June 16— 18 second annual Spring Gatnering June 23-25 Toronto on May 26-29. Sweats and talks Winnipeg June 29-Juiy 2 on health will oe featured. More Calgary July 5-8 information: Willow Hoilow Ranch July 13-16 Vancouver Rt. i Box 267, Purlear NC, 28665 Ancourage To be announced Doug 907/277-3862 919-973-7053

networking,

xx The ACLU of Alabama and 13 Alabama AIDS, political and re ligious groups filed a com June 30 this year marks the th third anniversary of the Hard plaint on January 23, 1989 wick decision in which the Su against three Alabama judges who asked HIV-infected defenpreme Court upheld the right dents to enter pleas and to of states to criminalize les hear sentences by phone rather bian and gay sexuality. than by apDearing in the court room. Should Alabama’s Judi The NGLTF Privacy Project and cial Inquiry Commission find CRY OUT!, Pittburgh’s lesbian/ gay action group, are collabor that the judges acted uneth ically, the process will move ating to mobilize the U.S. gay to Alabama’s Court of Judici and lesbian community to com ary which has the authority to memorate and mourn this deci censure the judges publicly, sion. They will distribute suspend them without pay, or packets of materials this remove them from the bench. spring to organizations wish ing to take action. Interested xx On February 6 , 1989, the organizations can contact: U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sue Hyde, Director Eight Circuit held unconstitu NGLTF Privacy Project tional a mandatory HIV testing 1517 U St. N.W. program for employees of a fa Washington, D.C. 20009 cility for the mentally re (202) 332-6483 tarded in Nebraska. It was the fist decision on the issue ACLU NEWS of mandatory workplace testing by a federal appeals court and xx Miguel Braschi lived with was the strongest judicial his lover in a rent-controlled statement vet that mere specu apartment in NYC. His lover lation of risk is not enough died. The landlord wanted to to justify mandatory testing. evict Braschi even though NYC regulations permit surviving spouses to take over a rent HATE CRIMES STATISTICS ACT control lease if the tenant dies. It went to court and Last year a Hate Crimes bill Braschi wasn’t evicted. An in passed by a majority of 383 to terim appellate court reversed 29 in the House. However, it the decision. On January 23, was kiiiea in the Senate after 1989, the ACLU filed a suit on threats by Jesse Helms to gut Braschi‘s behalf to take the it with anti-gay amendments. case to the Court of Appeals. ACLU staff attorney William On February 22, 1989 the Hate Rubenstein said, "The court’s Crimes Statistics Act (H.R. decision will have a tremen 947) was introduced in the dous impact on how ’family’ is House by John Conyers (D-MI), interpreted in a wide variety Barbara Kennelly (D-CT), and of legal contexts." Hamilton Fish (R-NY). It re quires the Justice Department xx Centinda Hospital Medical to collect national data on Center in Southern California crimes of prejudice committed has had the policy of exclud because of race, religion, sex ing HIV serooositive patients ual orientation and ethnicity. from its in-patient chemical An October 1987 report soli recovery program. An HIV posi cited by the Justice Depart tive but symptom-free patient ment stated that "homosexuals filed suit against the hospi are probably the most frequent tal under the Federal Rehabili victims (of hate crimes.)" tation Act and federal dis trict court judge Pamela Ann Lesbians and gay men are urged Rymer ruled in his favor. The by the Human Rights Campaign decision set a precedent by in Fund to contact their congresscluding asymptomatic HIV + per persons to cosponsor this leg sons among those protected by islation. federal law from discrimina tion by any recipient of feder al funds. The ACLU of S. Cali fornia and Lambda Legal De fense announced January 10. 1989 that a settlement had been reached. HARDWICK DECISION ANNIVERSARY

FAIR HOUSING BILL TAKES EFFECT On Sunday, March 12, the Fair Housing Amendments Act of 1988 takes effect. The law bars dis crimination against persons with disabilities including PWA ’s and HIV infection. It applies to virtually all housing in the U.S. Under the new law, it will now be illegal for landlords to discrim inate against persons with AIDSrelated conditions in the sale or rental of housing. It will also be illegal for landlords to ask questions of prospective tenants about whether they have AIDS or a related condition. If a person were evicted or turned down for an apartment because he or she had an AIDS-related condition, that person could file suit in federal court. GAY MAN ON BOARD On January 9, 1989 Harry G. Britt became the first openlv gav man to be President of the SF Board of Supervisors. He was Harvey Milk’s successor in January 1979. He was sworn into office by Mary C. Morgan, a lesbian municipal court judge in San Francisco. FINGER WALKING In the “yellow pages" of phone books in New York and New Eng land, there will soon be a spe cific sub-heading for "Gav and Lesbian Organizations" under the heading of "Social and Human Services." If vou look under "Gav" or "Lesbian" you’ll be referred to the en try under "Social and Human Services." This comes as a re suit of an agreement on Janu ary 16 between GLAAD (Gav and Lesbian Alliance Against Defa mation) , CPB (Consumer Protec tion Board), and NYNEX (Sounds Verv Te1ephonish).

FAIRNESS IN ENTERTAINMENT A "Campaign For Fairness In Entertainment" has been launched by the NGLTF, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), and the N.Y. chapter of NOW. The Cam paign’s goals are 1 ) to make it economically and morally un acceptable for the entertain ment industry to subsidize and promote homophobia, sexism and racism; 2 ) to support equal op portunity for gays and lesbi ans in the entertainment indus try; and 3) to challenge the industry to counter bigotry and intolerance by donating money to community-based pro grams that fight racism, sex ism and homophobia. The Campaign is currently call ing for action to protest the release by Warner Brother Re cords of an anti-gay "comedy" album by Sam Kinison. An ex cerpt follows; "Safe sex, god damn these fucking bastards, get off of our backs! Because a few fags fuck some mon keys, they got so bored their assholes weren’t enough, they had to go in the fucking jungle, grab some fucking monkey and fuck him in the ass, and bring us back the Black PI ague of the ’80’s. Thanks guys! Because of this shit they want us to wear fucking rubbers." Concerned individuals can boy cott Warner Brothers Records and write to Mo Ostin, Chair man, Warner Brothers Records, 3300 Warner Boulevard, Bur bank, CA 91510 (818) 846-9090. Copies of correspondence should be sent to GLAAD, 99 Hudson St., NY NY 10013. BIODEGRADABLE PLASTICS Some legislators and technolo gists are looking more to the development of biodegradable plastics as a way of curbing the mountains of plastic waste Americans produce. Plastics normally require some 200 years to degrade, and the amount of plastic waste in America will double by the year 2000 at its current rate of production. Non-degradab1 e plastics are composed of long chains of hy drocarbon molecules, which re sist the digestive action of

microorganisms. The molecules of biodegradable plastics are designed to contain weak points which can be acted upon by fungi and bacteria. These molecules can then be further broken down. Other types of disintegrating plastics are chemically degradable and photodegradable, though these two types do not break down com pletely. Chemically degradable plastics contain agents which react with the soil, reducing the plastic molecules to an "edible" size. Photodegradable plastics break down upon expo sure to ultraviolet radiation from the sun. These last two types of plastic do not break down completely. Biodegradable plastics are al ready in use as surgical su tures, protective sheaths for tree seedlings, and plates and screws to hold broken bones be ing healed. A researcher at Purdue University hopes to de velop a degradable plastic for use in fast food wrappings and garbage bags. Legislation has already been undertaken to require the use of degradable plastics. Some 16 states require all six-pack beverage yokes to be photode gradable. A bill introduced last summer by Rep. H. Martin Lancaster (D-N.C.) requires EPA to mandate that, within two years, all plastics made in the U.S. be degradable. Critics of degradable plastics point out that they provide no easy solution. Their use may dull current efforts at recy cling. Further, it’s unknown what impact could be made on the ground water and soil by the residues of degrading plas tics. Some are known to pro duce gases such as methane while they’re breaking down. The cost of degradables is pre sently high ($15/lb. compared to $.65/lb. for regular plas tics), and industrialists ad mit that research follows pub lic demand. Other approaches to the pro blem of plastics disposal in clude substituting other mater ials where possible and manag ing landfills that combine recycling and degradable tech nologies. Even regular news paper, if not given access to adequate water and oxygen, can take 10 years to degrade. Source: Technology Review, 9

CD PLANNED IN SOUTH CAROLINA On April 20, ACT-UP will protest the South Carolina AIDS law, a law which prohibits anonymous HIV antibody testing, establishes quarantine provisions, extends prison sentences for HIV + prisoners, requires state disclo sure of HIV antibody staus for those suspected of carrying or transmitting the virus, as well as disclosure of HIV antibody status of children to school system officials. "Legislation such as this which serves to fos ter fear and drive the disease underground, must not go unno ticed," said Chip Rowan of ACT UP/Atlanta. “These types of laws are at the core of the pandemic, and in part, responsible for AIDS rising to such epidemic propor tions." Concerned individuals who are interested in demanding this law be overturned should contact ACT UP/Atlanta at 404/286-6247.

HOT FLASH

Just in off the wire.... FAE FAMILY REUNION Sister M. Flatulent Roadkill cordially invites the radical faeries to the sixth reunion. The setting is a rustic ski lodge 25 miles from Mt Rainier Park, in Washington state. Bring ideas and dreams to share. Faes are requested to contribute $10 and bring food offerings. For further infor mation: Sister Roadkill 206/324-9254.

UNISI^TLJF?^l_ Q U O T A T I o r s is .

From the book of the same name compiled by Leigh Rutledge That homosexuality has been a natural condition of kings, composers, engineers, poets, housewives, and bus drivers, and that it has contributed more than its share of beauty and laughter to an ugly and ungrateful world should be obvious to anyone who is willing to peer beneath the surface. Writer Martin Grief

"and radiation as well as building immunity through their nutritive values. The following supplements were advised as useful healing sup port: Vitamins B 6 , B12, C, E, Beta-carotene, acidophilus, zinc, selenium, iron, calcium, AIDS HEALING SUCCESSES SHAPED IN germanium, silica, Siberian LOS ANGELES Ginseng, kelp, spiruiina, evening primrose oil, golden Researchers and healing workers seal, echinacea, beet powder, gathered in L.A. to share their black walmut, blessed thistle, success in the alternative chaparral, red clover, burdock, treatment of AIDS. The long term dandelion, yellow dock, comfrey, subjects of these treatments and myrrh. Shiitake mushrooms shared their experiences, are said to be interferon encouraging the fearful and inducing thus immune strength giving hope that many could find ening. (For a further listing, the same transformation that write to RFD, LA Conf.) AIDS had brought to them. Though they found no "magic bullet", The presenters at this informa the approaches being discovered tive and enlightening conference spoke loudly and clearly of the concluded that the many sick possibility of living full pro nesses of today’s society are ductive, healthy lives. acting as a karmic cleansing for the individual spirit and the Broad agreement on imperative planetary culture as a whole. lifestyle changes included diet and exercise, meditation, stress From the many schools of treat reduction, vitamin, mineral, and ment each person must choose the herbal supplements, support path that resonates with them. groups, and touch. Massage, All agreed that the power to accupuncture, and accupressure, overcome AIDS lies within one’s spiritual, mental and emotional self, and that we are each our counseling were praised as very own greatest healer. helpful as were goal setting, detoxification, and choosing a healthv and clean environment. WHO CONNED ’EM Dietary Changes Stressed The general consensus was that caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, meat, drugs, synthetic and nonorganic foods posed the greatest health danger. A vege tarian diet with whole grains was recommended. Several speci fic foods were advised such as beet juice and powder for liver regeneration. Grapes, black currants, nuts (raw), raspber ries and strawberries to aid tumor regression. Brewers yeast was said to be of value in the treatment of Candida. Cab-bage and other members of the brassica family, all high in sulfur, were found to be effective against cancer. Also noted were the use of cranberry juice for urinary infections and garlic and onions to stop tumor growth and strengthen the immune sys tem. Potatoes were said to bind and eliminate heavy metals and be a gentle cleansing laxative. The products of bees; honey, pollen, propolis, and royal jelly were found to be antibac terial and good for preventing colds, flu, and gum problems. Wheat and barley grass juices were excellent against cancer

Would you trust a one inch con dom7 According to the National Women’s Health Network, the FDA has approved two new devices to be marketed as "condoms”. Neither has been tested for effectiveness, although both devices employ radically new designs. One is a fraction of the standard size, the other is a latex bikini with a condom extension.

PAWS Pets Are Wonderful Support-that says it all. Pets make wonderful companions; they give us contin ual, non-judgmental love. Since pets may spread some diseases to humans, and since people with AIDS/HIV are more liable to catch infections, there have been disagreements within the health care community about the possible spread of illness from pets to people. Safe Pet Guidelines For People With Aids/ HIV is available through PAWS, this brochure offers suggestions to help keep your cat healthy, and to minimize possible dis ease transmission from pets to people. Write: PAWS, POB (160489, S.F., CA 94146. There is no charge, donations accepted. PASSIVE IMMUNOTHERAPY A recent study conducted at St. Stephen’s Hospital in London found passive immunotherapy effective in the treatment of AIDS/ARC. The process involves taking blood plasma from HIV+, but healthy donors and trans fusing it into people with AIDS/ ARC. The treatment succeeded in neutralizing the virus in the blood. No new cells were infected, and no new infections spread through the bloodstream. Dr. Karpas who headed the study was very encouraged by the results. Since the onset of the study, of the ten participants, one PWA has died, the others have not suffered from another opportunistic infection.

CORRECTIONS: In the last issue of RFD (#56), phone numbers were given for more information after two articles.Ue were informed by a Men and women attempting to pre reader that they had been dis vent pregnancy and HIV transmis connected, here are their addresses: Mushroom Extract LEM, sion are likely to assume that Tim M. Sharon, Ph.D., 25422 these FDA approved devices Trabuco Rd. # 105-464, El Toro provide the same protection as CA 92630. Urine Therapy, Water traditional latex condoms. of Life Institute, POB 223543, Hollywood FL 33022. Sorry if The NWHN has petitioned the FDA this caused you any inconven to require effectiveness tests of these "condoms” before they ience. are marketed. Your support is RFD receives health information needed. Write: Commissioner from many different sources, in Frank Young, MD, Food and Drug Administration, 5600 Fishers L n , an effort to offer as many diff Rockville, MD 20857. Send a copy erent viewpoints as possible we print Western medical as well as of your letter or further holistic treatments. If you inquiries to: NWHN, 1325 G St. happen to find something you NW, Washington, DC 20005. from Building Economic Alterna think would be useful to our readers please pass it on to us. tives, published by CO-OP Thanks. America. 10

F.A.G.

We can’t do anything about that. But we can join together in Manhattan and mark the end of an era. As in any transformation, with death comes birth.

THE BABY WAS NAMED STONEWALL

If you are one of the fortunate faeries to join us at the fairy action gathering, you can look forward to the following fun-filled, frolicking, festive, fabulous, furtive, forward-looking activities:

* A full moon ritual in a rural setting in upstate New York on Sunday night, June IStlt. *

Caravan from Ithaca to New York City to make an entrance into the city on Tuesday, June 20th.

* Summer Solstice ritual and extravaganza at Tompkins Square Park in the East Irillage with witches, queer punks, pagans, queer anarchists, and drag queens, on Wednesday evening, June 21st. *

A mock mounting and funeral procession for Judy Garland, on Friday evening June 23rd.

Sec and he seen and make a scene in the streets and subways of New York City.

* Invent faerie (askance) direct action and civil disobedience (CD). * Recreate and restage the Stonewall riots at the original site on Saturday, June 24th (legally and with permits, but CD for those who choose it).

* Faerie dancing and prancing in the original gay pride parade, on Sunday, June 25th.

Why a gathering in New York to celebrate Stonewall? Twenty yearsago,on the nightofJudy Garland’sfuneral,New York Citycops went about theirusual routineofharass inggay-bar patrons. But something happened that nightthatwas anythingbut routine. An unorganized rabbleofdrag queens, radical streetqueers and theirfriendsattheStonewall Inn Bar inGreenwich Villagebegan toharassthe cops back. They went on a rampaging riot,and anew consciousness was born. For the firsttime,gay people took torioting inthestreetstovisiblyand militantlydemand thatwc be treatedwith respect. Inthemonths that followed, radical groups began springing up tocontinue tofightforthespiritoftheStonewall Rebellion. Inthe lasttwenty years,our movement haslostsightofthevalue ofour diversity.Our movement has forgottenthatour people arc made up ofdrag queens, butch lesbians,s/m leatherboys,vegetarians,day-glohippies,radical faeries,separatist lesbians,boy lovers, queeranarchists,witches,queer punks, pagans, and everyone elsewho ismost concerned with being herself. Let s remind everyone ofwho wc are,and what wc stand for. Our visibilitycan helpcreate aconsciousness fora new, more radicalculturethat fuckinglovesdiversity,and lovesfuckingdiversely. So honey, get your act together, and write or call for directions and a registration packet to Bru Dye, P.O. Box 1251, Canal Street Station, New York, New York 10013 718/789-5663

LUNAR CALENDAR

Blessed be, MOONHAWK Apr 1 1 “be Si ns with the change to daylisht savings time, so this calendar will have all the u s e s in COST. The month starts with two vet y intense ener gy uays on the 3rd and 4th. On the 6 th,the evening after the new moon, there will be a good chance to see a very thin cresent moon just above the western ho rizon just after sunset. On the 21st, the Lyrid meteor shower comes by. You may set to see the brightest ones since the full moon of the previos evening may obscure tnem. Tne 28th will oe another day of high intense en ergy to end the montn. As a side note for all of you Capricorns, there are 3 major planets in your sun sign that turn retro grade, giving you a lot of things to wor« on kar m i d y . May will be a good month for you star ga zers with telescopes. On the 1st, Mercury will be visaDle just above the western ho rizon just after sunset. In the early morn ing of the 4th (2^24 AM) if you know where to look, vou could get a look at Pluto. It Will be at it’s closest point to the earth it has ever been this year. That morning, it will be opposite tne sun and at it’s bright est. That same morning just before aawn, the Eta Aquand meteor shower will be visablle. On the 16th, Mercury and Venus will conjunct

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LIVING ALONE

CORROBOREE

by Robert Kaplan

by Ivor C. Treby by the crocodile river at Katherine our two shadowed figures stand close: on the landing-stage grill our bodies seem poised in defiance of gravity the dark water runs menacingly beneath us nothing bites but the mosquitoes your thrusty prick poked in my open trousers rests wet on my inner thigh, our two shafts tangled in my underclothes if either of us moves slightly i feel your moisture renew the sensation is potent, electric

When I open my door sometimes you come in and sometimes you go out, that's the beauty of it. Yes, it's a great arrangement we have: me and my two cats and you coming to visit every now and then for a while. Sure you can stay and explore, even for a day or two if you’re nice. But there are times when I just want to lie alone in my bed at 2:00 A.M. with a glass of scotch and a good book, spreading out on my mattress as if it's my own private continent. And it is, you know. It is.

at the homestead, beneath the Indian rain-tree the nightly corroboree continues— the dance on the Frog, of the Medicine-man, the dance of the Emu— down to us here at the river's edge drift vacuous laughter and applause the fat white tourists, slumming, go native, Joke at the 'boongs* to their face, condescend to a culture immeasurably ancient our tribal ceremony is ancient too— you have invoked the Earth-spirit, with animal-Juices traced magical patterns on my skin— another memory from the Dreamtime part ritual, part invention wholly instinctive; we wear more clothes than the dark-skinned players up on the hill but even this difference will be remedied very soon

FAGGOTS by Nora Mitchell My lover says sometimes that I look like a faggot, meaning like a man who looks like a woman. On the dark street a woman veers away from me and walks faster. Hands jammed in my pockets and fast-moving, I am also trying to stay safe in my city at night. Like a child I want to protest, I'm a girl— over and over— to this woman, to my father's two friends in the hardware store. Huey said they'd have to see me throw before they'd believe me, but I knew that I threw just like a boy. Coming up behind me, my lover teases,

THE DANCE MASTER by Winthrop Smith He tilts Your head, adjusts The wrist or reach of toe (You lean within The frame

you swish, as if I had to pretend to walk like a woman, or it were something I could mimic, like a man. Like her I love the way faggots move; I love the humor in their eyes, their wrists, their chins, as if their bodies kept faith with the fire of laughter and repeated

He's made Supported), turns Your body toward, away (You hold his hand To claim

some old joke the world could never get. Queens are men who leave their names behind with all their reasons as delicate as the works in the heart of a watch. Robert becomes Robin, or someone more extravagant, more vulnerable still.

A role Upon it), lets You practice...paces...waits (You mime a d&ncEr lame Across The stage to sit Beside his feet), he lifts You taking all The blame.

(reprinted from Your Skin is a Country with the permission of the poet and Alice James Books)

WAITING FOR NO MAN by Hillel Schwartz My £ is desperate for loops. I watch it spurt and puff like a sea urchin, anxious to be old and full. It wants closure, constancy. No, I say, my hand crabbing, keep it clear, keep it calling out. But the £ waits for no man and rolls in over upon itself, so secure, o so smug. All along it wanted this confusion between Carbon and Oxygen, company and centimeter. My longings have gotten the better of me, all my letters now bursting with circles. Oh, says the analyst} I see,

AN INTRUSION ON HER RETIREMENT Her brother's home again. by Jane McClellan What he has learned to call his "classical bent" is no longer an insinuation stirred into the town’s coffee cups but a live-in friend of the same fraternal order— pledging Greek from the left, so to speak. Cliches comfort her: she holds her head high, thinks the situation could be worse and considers that this too shall pass.

When her friends come for bridge brother pours iced tea. When eaves begin to peel, brother scrapes and paints. She's raped by kindnesses he dispenses as casually as chocolate drops. ihe friend's toothsome ways transform cabbages to casseroles, pancake mix to flaming crepes, while the kitchen stays as clean as a Bon Ami ad. At night, with ears that strain against the sheet, she hears murmurs and muffled laughter. Each day brings new pleasures— an ochre and russet drive through the fall countryside, three tickets to a play— that serve to compromise her more. How nice, the neighbors say, how convenient. But the men have filled the downstairs wing with more than neckties and jockey shorts: The shame of teenage years— whatever party she wasn't asked to, the boys who smiled and never called, the girls who roomed with someone else at camp.

Moon.

TO THE OTHER LANGUAGE MASTER by Larry D. Griffin

This classical bent that skewed her youthful world off true returns to find her old, devoid of trumps and excuses, wanting more from life than a house full of empty rooms.

L . ) .•*.•

im —

Our conversation was a demolition of words: In existential exasperation the adverbs Came careening into the track of our discussion; Above the din of dying words the percussion Of screaming suffixes, prefixes amputated And the anxious abstractions, so long over-rated, Splattered their emptiness over all that was concrete. I knew what you felt, but I couldn't move from my seat.

•// So if you can find it again in your heart to speak Language masters like us might salvage this in a week. 15

FOR THE MAN WHO EATS WORMS

we stop the car and the guy from Albany is digging in the ground finding worms and eating them, I tell him, remind me not to kiss you now I remember in life when we met in Provincetown I found his strawberry haired lover more beautiful

by Steven Smith

by J.w.m.

by David Gerry it*a the guy from Albany who is in my dream tonight driving my car his lover is in the back seat watching us in front and as in my dreams I don’t know what is being said

A GOD-DAMN CAVE

COLD BOY

Cold boy without you the night burns me up if only you'd reach out touch my touch what holds you back skin smooth as ice eyes dark and concealing does the hidden heart yearn do you cry ice needles alone in your room behind doors closed to my beating heart

when the guy from Albany comes on to me I think, what the hell, sometimes life is dirty like this, as in all my dreams I wake up before I am about to arrive.

I don't suppose you know What to do with my used ego? "Oh— free. Just take it away." As I've beat the he-she bitch Black 'n' blue, And the bastard still bleeds . . . I've copied eagles even, shit— Once I even sat inside a universal mind. Then what do you suppose? "Yep, there it goes again, from Yin-Yang to spitter-patter-SPLAT RIGHT BACK Smack center in black, Black and Black again, As a caveman's cave, And me raving gutteral pagan praises, Dripping blood Like a stuck Dionysiac cow . . . While the whole world dances around me, Smiling, celebrating Life, While I'm dying inside— A GOD-DAMN CAVE.

IDIOT BROOK by Greg Zak by Alan Atkinson You know how it is when the summer boils, it fries your brain. You fuss with your hair and count every crack in the sidewalk. You eyeball anything with naked legs. You watch the dust swirl up into the trees, and if someone looks at you you try to move your lips. Maybe then you pray for rain.

A clear mountain brook to pan gold from gravel that's what I'm after last night at the bar beer ripped off my head and as usual I lay in bed like mud nothing but half-hisses and babble of hope through the memory

PIED PIPER'S PENCIL by Tasche I always used to write poetry with a pencil Often clumsily whittled to a blunt black end with my lousy knife And without eraser before I learned to cross out and go on I always used to sit at a tortured old desk Pacing the wall away from the window, toward my books And the old salt-sprayed ship's lantern I found on the beach And like Ray said to me this afternoon the flute Was a big part of those sitting pencilled days before I awoke And life became too removed to even dream about — That tarnished silver voice was better to me than anything then, Haunting me with the sound of its own world and I followed inside And down, further into the sea mist and salt snow And now sitting huddled here on dripping winter's dark porch With dull pencils and old notebook I close my eyes and In a weary young dream I hear again my soul

but this morning waking up into feelings I tell you and you tell me there's gold in the streams and streams in the mountains come o n , love, let's get up get out and travel

Dear a F j Readers, As most of you know, A/j is one of the few gay publications to give regular, ongoing attention to gay spirituality. This makes very special and important. Gays are so often ^stereotyped as silly, shallow people with few concerns for anything wF beyond the physical. Since its inception, has proven this stereotype to be wrong. As the new Spirituality Lditor for RRD, hope to see this aspect of our journal' grow and prosper. ,/e can do a great service to the gay community by o f f e r i n g ^ our brothers inspiration and hope during these difficult times. •■ith that in mind, I am calling upon our readers to give our Spirituality department an infusion of new life. am actively £ * soliciting manuscripts, letters, articles, artwork or whatever from any of our reader^^ who feels he may have something to share, wany of the articles we publish in RFD have oeen reprinted from other sources, ana we shall continue to do so as long as good material is available and permission is granted to use it. However, I would like . to see more original material written M expressly for U P by our readers. *

4 U

o say to our readers and adhe to reasonable standards of good taste. Some very impressive contributions have been passed over in the past because they wore extremely long or abstruse; sc please try to keep them within limits, and written in a 3tyle that can be understood by an average reader. If you would like to contribute and aren't sure what to write about, you might begin by considering these questions: how does spirituality fit into my life as a gay man? './hat gives meaning to my life? ./hat inspires me and keeps me going? ..'hat have I learned that might inspire others? ./hat special gifts do we gays have to contribute to the growth of Light in our world? You can send your contributions to Rio in Liberty, ennessee. Please let us know if you would like your material to be returned if it cannot be used immediately; or if wc may keep it for consideration in the future. If you would like it returned, please .enclose a stamped return envelope. I ’ll be looking forward to hearing from you. ove and Light,

yudL 3

TH E SHAVL ^ 102>

by Jack Dav.

---

____

gatherings that it had been to. But now I'm not so sure that the abundant fringe is going to have a chance to accumulate.

The shawl is getting old. It's been on thou足 sands of shoulders and it's starting to show wear and tear. It's like an old pair of jeans; each time it's laundered, it develops a little hole.

One of the reasons that it is beginning to fray has to do with how it is constructed. The area of the shawl above the dick that rests on a faerie's shoulders when he is wear足 ing it is more open, the chrocheting is less dense there. The shawl is pretty heavy and the weight of the shawl hangs from an area that is structurally weaker than other parts of the shawl and is showing a lot of wear. T h i s is o n e of t h e a r e a s t h a t I am reinforcing.

I'm writing this at the end of September. The shawl has been at my house for about two months now while I'm repairing it. I'm rein足 forcing and reconstructing parts where it is showing the most stress. While it has been here, I've been thinking about the shawl. It's wonderful that the faeries have this handmade object that has been used as a talisman and magical tool at g a t h e r i n g s and rituals. U su a ll y at each gathering or event there is a ribbon or bauble attached to the edge of the shawl. When I first saw the shawl I had this picture in my head of how it would look in the future with a fringe going all the way around it made up of ribbons and other things from all of the

Another reason that the old dear is showing signs of age is that it gets very dirty at gatherings. Dust, grime, body oil and sweat (ooh! oohl) all contribute to the deteriora足 tion of the fibers. In my opinion, the shawl needs to be hand washed (not dry cleaned) after each g a th e r i ng so that when it is 8

* Realizing that this shawl has a finite lifespan, I have some interest getting to gether with other fiber faeries and planning a roup weaving of a shawl at a gathering. Not as a replacement for this shawl, however. Maybe the time has passed for the faeries to think of this shawl as THE talisman, that the gathering you are attending isn't a "major" gathering unless the shawl is there.

stored, it is clean. A dear faerie friend has asked me whether hand washing is going to be more destructive than leaving it dirty, since at this point, each time it is cleaned more holes will probably develop. My response was and still is: I think it should be hand washed and kept clean. We can continue to repair the shawl, but there is going to come a time, I think, when it is going to have to be retired. Here are some of the things I have been thinking about. I am p u t t i n g t h e m out for o t h e r f a e r i e s to consider.

* Perhaps we need to develop several talis mans, ones that can be exchanged from gather ing to gathering, from region to region. We have Crit's scepter which I understand is also being repaired right now. I think we need other sacred objects, other magical tools. Maybe one for Short Mountain, maybe one for Wolf Creek, maybe one for g a t h e r i n g s at Breitenbush, maybe one for Star Circle, maybe one for each group of faeries that puts on a gathering. Maybe each gathering could have several talismans, each from a different group or region or sanctuary.

* We can keep on using it at gatherings and not repair it any further. * We can keep repairing it until it's more repair work than original shawl. Eventually the shawl will either be in tatters or we will have done something else with it. * We can continue to use the shawl at gather ings, wearing it on naked (ooh! ooh!) shoul ders, but try to keep it out of the dirt. One faerie has suggested that the shawl only be used at gatherings as a talisman and not worn outside of circles. Upon consideration we both thought that not only would this "rule" be hard to enforce, but it seemed like too much of a restriction. If we are going to continue to use the shawl, we should really use it until another purpose or use or destiny is determined.

In closing, I want to say that I am convinced that this shawl is a living thing and should be honored. Whether you think of it as a sacred object, a ritual tool and/or a beauti ful handmade shawl, it is more fragile than it used to be. It needs to be cared for and definitely kept clean. I do not at all intend to bad rap any of the c a r e t a k e r s of the shawl or to imply that people have not taken good care of it in the past. The shawl is in the condition it is in because it has been used the way it was inten ded to be used. This obsessive Virgo fiber faerie thinks we should rethink the purpose of the shawl and begin to take even better care of it.

* Maybe we can have a shawl faerie at gather ings whose job it is to know where the shawl is and keep it out of the dirt. * Perhaps we need a shawl mat that goes in the center of a circle, so that when there is no one to take it, the shawl is placed on the mat and not dumped on the dirt. Yes the earth is sacred, but it has its destructive powers.

These are merely ideas, things to think about. I don't have all of the answers, only a few. If you have any response to what I have writ ten, talk to other faeries, write to this publication, write to me. I will share all input that I receive.

* We should eliminate the practice of throw ing the shawl on the ground and stepping on it with Dlack leather boots to show that we don't think that it is a sacred object. I promise never to do this again.

Jack Davis 29 Pearl San Francisco, CA 94103

* It can be put on permanent display some where, never to be worn again. This way fu ture generations of faeries would be able to enjoy it.

FACTS ABOUT THE SHAWL The Cernunnos shawl was crocheted by Dennis Melba'son in 1979. He presented it to the faeries at the 1980 Colorado Radical Faerie Gathering. Dennis died in 1982.

* It can be ritually destroyed/transformed, either burned or buried. This is one tradi tional way to deal with ritual objects that have outlived their function. As with the idea of a permanent display there is the ques tion as to where this will take place. Per haps the place where it was made. Was that Short Mountain?

The shawl is a triangle. The top is the widest edge and is 102 inches. From the top to the bottom point is 57 inches. The central figure of the shawl is a fact with horns, a beard and pointed ears. It is Cernunnos, one of the m a n i f e s t a t i o n s of the horned god. Appearing over the head is an erect penis. The penis and face are surrounded by a vine with leaves. In each upper corner is a cres cent moon and a star. Across the top is a row of 25 small male figures, every other one standing on its head. At the very bottom is a square, circle and a triangle. In one upper corner is the date 1980. In the other corner there appear to be the letters NOLA.

* It can be retired from active gathering duty, but still used. If the shawl weren't worn at gatherings it would probably last longer. it could be used as a healing tool for faeries with AIDS, ARC or who are HIV positive. Instead of going from gathering to gathering it could go from faerie to faerie staying with each one for a few days at a t ime. 19

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I was around 11 years old when I was first called "Faggot", for many effeminate or androgenous boys growing up black, the worst thing you could be called was a faggot. It was the trigger to your deepest fears, easily tripped by family members who "never meant to hurt you". In retrospect Alexis, I think the cruelest part of being labeled "Queer" or "Sissy" was the lack of explana tion of what it really meant. I could count on any and everyone to spit the Word at me, but there was no one to go further and say that along with the daily anguish of looks, sneers, and catcalls, there would also be the love of a man. The touch of a black man that would set ray body to tremble, tingle and ache in all the right places. The gentleness, personal insight, and unique perspective that would also be awarded me. At the very least, it would have made a painful situation easier. Now Alexis, though I know you will cringe to hear it, I call myself faggot with pride, and to my surprise, I have found it "un fashionable" or just not "politically cor rect" to do so. It seems that some black gays and lesbians believe that we must for get about being faggots and other such pe jorative terms and instead label ourselves Black Homosexual Male or Black Homosexual Female. Well, I beg to differ. I like faggot. It has served me well in the past and I have no need to trade it in for some thing else. You know I am "out" 24 hours a day and therefore feel sufficiently qual ified to make this statement. On any day as I step on the uptown #4 or #5, I am im mediately confronted, sometimes by chapter and verse from the Bible, with exactly how almost everyone on the train feels about who they think I am and what they think I do in bed. At which time, usually adorned with my "Silence = Death" and "In the Life - Lesbian and Gay Pride" buttons, I look each commuter in the eye and say, either with my body language or verbally, "Yes, you have guessed right. I am a faggot and I am ecstatic to be so." Then, standing 5' 10y" and weighing all of 120 lbs., I stare down even the roughest looking homeboy, while he and the rest of the people on the train return to reading hemorrhoid ads or hiding behind a newspaper.

Alexis: How are you chile? Well, again I am worrying about our people. Today, more than ever we -brothers - must reach out to one another, accept our faults, bandage each other's wounds and hold on to each other for dear life. And yet, I'm terrified that we won't - that we just won't. We must start deal ing with our present lives in ways that are inclusive of one another and our past. We must accept the challenges of changing and redefining the things that need redefin ition, and accept those that do not. The definitions of ourselves that I speak of are the word "Faggot" and the image of "Queen". I know how you agonized over this, vacillating back and forth, only to concede to the social norm. You always showed your true allegiance though, by turning into the royalest queen on this planet with the com ing of the night - your time for mischief. I know, deep in your heart, you loved your total self - faggot - queen - whatever although you never actually said so; not even on your death bed, battered and beaten by AIDS. This is the reason I bring my concerns to you. I, more than anything, wanted you to embrace your total self be fore you left this world. Your not being able to do so, even as we sat in your hos pital room playing roles of "the victim and the friend", seemed to make the situation more tragic and painful for both of us.

Having been the victim of an attack by three young homophobes on the D—train to Harlem two years ago, when one of the B-Boys, probably a banji (a street tough type that in reality is just as gay as I) taunted me about looking like Michael Jackson, spread ing AIDS and perverting other decent homeboys with my "homo—shit". He then, quite angrily, proceeded to threaten to smash my face in with a Calvin Cooler bottle and take my $185 walkman. Alexis, I think stating that I was a Black Homosexual Male, polit ically correct and well read, would have done little to prevent him from rearranging 20

my facial structure. Being "confused" about — my sexuality at the time, i withstood the insults and escaped serious injury by mere luck. Sitting there, shaken to my very core, ** the truth about who I was echoed through me and terrified me more than the B-Boys. I had a problem with being gay. I had been labeled gay for as long as I could remember and energetically fought for gay rights as a good liberal. No, being gay wasn't the horror, being a faggot was. I like you, had refrained from snapping my fingers or speaking too stereotypically, though it was my truest nature to do so. I refused to be who I was and attached myself to a lie, be ing more afraid of the label than my feelings. Therefore, deliberately cut off from myself, I was nothing. Shortly after, I asked my self, what was the big deal? What would it really mean to my life to be labeled a faggot? Nothing I couldn't handle. I decided that if being judged and misunderstood were to be the conditions of my existence, I would exist knowing it would not be easy or fun to fight the battles necessary to be who I was, but I realized that I was willing to do so. I am, at the very least, a faggot and that's all right. In fact, it's the way I want it. It wasn't Black Homosexual Male that was yelled at me as I walked down school hall ways or city streets. It wasn't Black Homo sexual Male that started the numerous catfights between me and others; including family members. It wasn't Black Homosexual Male that made me cry at 11 years old. It was faggot. And it's faggot' that I will now embrace like the prodigal. I'm a relatively intelligent, progressive, sensitive and fun ny human being, and if someone is ignorant enough to attack me or dismiss me because of who they think I am or what they think I do in bed, then they aren't worth my time. Alexis, you know that we weren't "black" ^ifty years ago, and will probably not be black" fifty years from now. That same is true of faggot. It is a bundle of sticks, not a person or a specific type of person. It has been given the meaning of homosexual male (with negative connotations) by our society. However, we can now decide what it will or will not mean. Another example of this is the word "nigger". At one time it was pejorative only, but that is no longer the case; some have desensitized it. How many times have you heard someone say, "He's my nigger" , meaning he's rny iriend, or he's my man. The fact is that some orothers and sisters call themselves Higger with affection, as a point of ident ification, or as a show of comradery. For hem it still has its negative power and if it were to be used by the right person unaer the wrong circumstances, it would still e a pejorative. They haven't forgotten ■tie past, but at least on this subject, ney are dealing with it. They have re cognized that nigger has been too interwined and seared into our culture and crams to ever be dismissed or disregarded.

*** *

vu * * *

V tA V O L . * * * .. “ "

* * * .....

It is a reality of our existence and there fore they have found a way to embrace it. We must also desensitize the word faggot in order to move closer to our true selves. Whether we like it or not, in our heart of hearts we are the sissy or faggot we were cruelly called in grammar school, that's why we're so bothered by the word even now. We give the word, and more importantly, the people hiding behind it, great power over us. The power to triger our deepest fears and now mature insecurities about ourselves. The power to hurt us still. I have been hurting long enough and will not continue to give some stranger the power to hurt me with a word. We must stop being victims. Alexia, I have you, in the form of memories, with me all day. The most touching memories being those of you at your bitchiest and queeniest. Times when you were again threatening to throw out your roommate, or making your sharp verbal responses to your father's snide remarks (it smells like fish in here). You are a martyr, a hero. As you know, the image of the "Queen" as hero is not something a large number of macho, butch or boy-next-door type black gay brother wants to see, but it is a reality. It pains me (as I suspect it did you) that so many of my fellow brothers look down on me for snapping my fingers, adding "Girl friend" to the end of my sentences or ma neuvering my hips; for being a "Queen". These brothers suffer from a selective am nesia. You see, it was Queens, in high heels and chiffon that fought the cops for Stonewall. Sissies who had bottles and billy clubs to confront as they marched down the street for "our" rights. It was the Drag Queens that patrolled the piers with straight razors fighting with and sometimes dying at the hands of joy-riding homophobes. We have allowed our brothers, who aren't ready to make "The Statement" yet or who can't be identified as queer uotown, to lead reasonably comfortable lives, enjoying Gay Rights, the Pride Parades, the bars, parks, baths and movies. Its downright tragic to think that the brother giving me a dirty look is a fellow black gay man. As you know, nothing hurts more or longer than being sneered at by a fellow sissy or given that "You're a dis appointment" or "Butch-up" look from another faggot. 1 only ask these brothers and sisters that the next time they see a queen, think twice about looking down your nose at him. Before you turn your head, remember that our true heroes are proud queens who died for your right not to be a queen. This one time, all that glitters is gold. Continued on page

fey feRANKLIN e

to m

IF YOU MEET THE POET ON ThE ROAD HUG HIM, KISS HIM, AND RUN YOUR FINGERS THROUGH HIS HAIR Before dinner James and I were sitting on the sofa in the living room of his and Joel's apartment home— out the window the wonderful twinkle of the city and the bay in the deep ening grays of twilight. James is holding my hand in his own smooth hands. Holding is not quite the right word, for James' hands are lapping like the soft ebb and flow at the edge of a pool of water. P e rh ap s he was polishing his hands with mine, mine with his, like water over pebbles. Joel and William are in the kitchen peeling the burnt skins off peppers Joel has roasted for the pasta primavera we will soon dine on and sigh over. Back on the sofa James is telling me stories. One remark I remember in context to what I forget (like a sentence you circle in a text and then forget the chapter) . James was saying that there was never enough thanks or praise, that one couldn't thank or praise enough. Having myself grown up and been thoroughly indoctrinated in the school of "no news is good news," this was a radical no tion. Old trickster of light and moving color, sound and breath that James is, I wonder if somehow as he said it he rubbed it also into the flesh of my hand in a hiero glyph of touch. Whatever else we talked about that wonderful evening I have forgot ten, but "praise and thanks" still linger years later, and for that I thank James and praise his delicate wisdom.

Several years ago on my first visit to San Francisco I was had as a guest to dinner along with calligrapher William Stewart by James Broughton and his lover and devoted partner, Joel Singer. I had seen James, the esteemed poet and prize winning film-maker, only twice before. My first glimpse of him was in the late 70s at the third national radical fairy gathering in New Mexico's Pacos Mountains. He had left abruptly. His young son Orion had been gravely injured in a mo torcycle accident back in California. I remember after the news and James' departure, many pf us fairy fellows stood in a circle of healing and chanted long, in dulcet tones, "Orion, Orion, Orion...." My second meeting with James was at the At lanta airport. He and Joel had come to At lanta with James' films and faith that we might generate sufficient interest amongst fairies and film buffs that James' celluloid paintings would find their viewership. All went well, of course. There were even the little miracles like the standing ovation James received after reading his poems to one of Atlanta's more off-beat/up-beat congrega tions at the First Existentialist Church Sunday service. James beamed and then later there were tears of joy shed over strangers who had showed him such appreciation. 22

HOOPLAS is one of James' new books. Though now in his seventies he keeps making films and writing poems. And, why not? He is a master in both forms. Retirement is some thing you do with something you don't like is my own opinion: we should retire in our 20s and 30s from what doesn't suit us so in our 70s, like dear James, our craft is so nimble we can weave with the web of the spider and lose not a drip of morning's dew. HOOPLAS, published by San Francisco's Pennywhistle Press, is a book of fine spun praise and thanks, "festive tributes to friends and intimates of the author, which salutes their talents and personalities with song, fanfare and wit." They are also a sweet chronicle of a long living man who's danced many a dance with many a partner. The book divides in half. First t here are poems w r i tt e n on "births, troths and departures." Part II is entitled, "Friendly Relations and Foolish Business." Two poems from each section are reprinted below.

So, Handle me lovinglyl said the Penis of Baby Jesus. Always remember that I am the divining rod of buried treasure and the barometer of rising and falling bliss. (c) 1988 James Broughton James' other book is published by the Jargon Society to celebrate his 75th year. LifeI.1.P6 S contains an aphorism for each of those years. Here's a sampling: If you feel completely at a loss You are probably on the right track. B e li ev e the u n be l i e va b l e . E n liven the unlikely. Always carry change for the unchangeable. Enrich your repertoire of useless acts Watch waterfalls, sniff lilacs Reply to meadowlarks, attack artichokes. Serve forth your ripeness before it rots. James serves forth his aphorisms smorgasbord style, all you can eat plus a grain or two of salt. He says, "Crazy old men are essential to society. Otherwise your men have no suit able models." I believe him and thank him for the maps he makes for us.

The Word for No is Yes I know a boy whose heart trembles, troubles and tricks him, who leans over uncertain waters questioning his reflection, whose long a ch ings fill the night with ungraspable stars, who tethers his faun at a sheltered bed of thistle and thorn, unleashes that faun fitfully fearful of what is not a dream. I know a boy whose heart startles, stirs and strangles him.

Hooplas is available for $8.95 + $1 handling from Pennywhistle Press, 2637 Hyde St., San Francisco, CA 94109 or request your bookstore to order for you.

-.M W ---¥-ri f -wwii..... ir w

But there is a place where, believe me, heart and mind meet, there is a place where the bloodstream and spirit embrace, there is a place at the source of the lonely fountain w h e r e the m a r r i a g e of f i re and w a t e r liberates the event. In the realm of the fiercest oppositions, believe me, the word for No is Yes, and the star and the faun are One.

* * ..... * * * ........ M W -MM-M

- M W ........H

M MM

M MM y

The Absence of Fear... Well Alexis, I don't know what will come of this letter, but I do know that writing it, that talking to you has helped calm my an xieties. On this note I will stop, because as I look out my window I see how beautiful the night is and know somewhere out there you are off to find mischief. Perhaps I will join you, someday.

A Parable for the Feast of the Circumcision For Sister Missionary Position at her New Year's Ball According to his churchly fathers Baby Jesus on the first of January had his cock cut in the Temple to put him in good with Jehovah who was highly orthodox in those days.

Much love and faith,

The Absence of Fear was originally published in the PYRAMID PERIODICAL, "the provocative quarterly for gay people of color", and reprinted with permission of the author. The PYRAMID PERIODICAL appears quarterly. Newsstand price *3.95, subscription price <,16.00 a year. Mail to PYRAMID PERIODICAL, PO Box 1111, Canal Street Station, NYC, NY 10C13.

Ooohl Touch me tenderly! said the Penis of Baby Jesus Now I may be only a teeny Holy Thing but soon I shall become a substantial comfort to those who have faith that Holy Things can provide uplifting epiphanies. 23

year, that I wouldn't have stood a chance at a trial, and the jury would have found me guilty regardless of the prosecution's lack of a case — not to mention the publicity I would have had to endure. I agreed with my lawyer and still believe he was right. During my years of probation I received sev eral phony mailings from the feds, mailed from both within and outside the U.S. These mailings were further attempts to entrap me. Some were letters claiming to be from lobby ists trying to change "age of consent" laws and offering "hot newsletters." Some were questionnaires, asking me to detail my sexual preferences and sexual history, and then to date and sign the questionnaire, in return for which I could advertise free in their "newsletter" and receive "hot photos." Some were simply ads for "hot photos," saying they got my name from a "reliable source" and "know what I want." Never in my life had I ever received mailings offering me such mate rials, and now, out of nowhere, I was sudden ly receiving them regularly.

AN OPEN LETTER TO RFD READERS After reading John Swadey's article, "The Post Office Sting" in issue #55, I feel I must write to warn RFD readers that the feds can use any publication to initiate contact with a potential victim, even RFD. I would be very wary of contact letters asking for or offering "hot photos," or using phrases like "all ages welcome." Such letters do not read like the typical contact letter, but seem i n t e r e s t e d in g e t t i n g r e a d e r s hot and bothered enough to answer and sound as if they're aimed at a ny b od y and e ve rybody. Also, such letters sound as if they're writ ten by professional advertising writers; that is, they read more like commercials than letters. I know what I'm talking about, since I was a victim of the kind of sting operation John Swadey writes about in his article, and I have been the recipient of many phone letters from the feds in an at tempt to entrap me again.

The ordeal is now over for me, but for others it's just beginning. I know of a person who answered an ad in another major gay publica tion, an ad which read simply, "Photos of Young Guys." The guys turned out to be youn ger than he'd expected, and he went through the same persecution and humiliation I did, only worse, since the laws have since changed and the penalties now are much worse. The feds made a criminal out of this person, and they'd like to make criminals out of a lot more people, so my advice to RFD readers is that you be very careful in answering adver tisements or even contact letters. Don't answer an ad or letter that sounds suspi cious, and if a correspondent starts asking leading questions about your interest in "young guys," or wants to exchange photos of "young guys," become extra careful. And if, in spite of your caution, you are ever unfor tunate enough to be confronted by federal agents, don't talk to them. Identify your self, but use your legal "right to remain silent" and don't say another word--not one more word. Keep vour mouth shut. In my own case, the most incriminating evidence the prosecution had was what came out of my own mouth during the raid; I admitted having ordered the magazine.

I once answered an ad in a major gay publica tion, which offered, "Boyish magazines: Models 18+." The models turned out not to be 18+, and shortly after receiving my order seven armed federal agents burst into my home, and over a period of hours--during which I was held at gun-point and interro gated— tore the place apart and photographed everything, including my private papers, letters, and address book. When I asked the head agent why this was happening, his re sponse was, "This is an election year." Six months later, shortly before the presidential election, I was indicted by a federal grand jury on a charge of "importation of an ob scene book." That's when the fun began.

I'm writing this now— anonymously— because I don't want what happened to me to happen to anybody else. I believe it could happen to anybody— if they're ignorant of what's going on and they're not careful. Within the last year I've read a few RFD contact letters that sound something like the phony entrapment letters the feds sent me. I won't say which o n e s , but p l e a s e use y o u r h e a d and be careful.

After paying a lawyer $6000 to sit through the hearings with me— not easy on an income of $4000 a year— I finally pleaded guilty to the charge and was fined $2000 and put on several years probation. At the sentencing, the federal judge asked the prosecutor how he had expected to prove that I "knowingly and willingly" committed the crime, which showed that the judge didn't think the prosecutor had much of a case. However, my lawyer had been convinced that due to the nonstop media bombardment about "child pornography" that 24

A look at reasons people have given for tal king with FBI agents and the repercussions of their cooperation shows that the safest, most defensible thing we can do is to state imme diately that we do not wish to speak with FBI agents and close the door, if open, in their faces. WHAT TO DO WHEN THE FBI COMES CALLING Gav Community News, March 5, 1983

PITFALL I: "I'll talk now so they'll leave me alone." So far the opposite has been true. The likelihood of continued harassment greatly increases when someone demonstrates a willingness to talk to FBI.

Political movements in America have continu ally been subjected to surveillance in the guise of judicial process. The Grand Jury, an imposing sounding but nebulous entity, allows for a wide range of information gath ering with all too few individual rights. Last year, when the Nyack Brinks truck rob bery seemed to be leading toward a wide spread fishing expedition in the feminist and left communities, GCN reprinted a pamphlet p r e pa r e d by the G r a n d Jury P ro ject and others. With the increasing pressure to investigate NAMBLA members, many individuals may encounter FBI officials or even a Grand Jury. Because the Grand Jury's purpose is to hear testimony to determine the presence of criminal misconduct, all sorts of extraneous people may be called in. Even you could be called. Attending a meeting, signing a peti tion, being on a mailing list, standing next to someone at a rally, or just "being in the wrong place at the wrong time" c ould be enough for a prosecutor to believe you have information relevant to their investigation. So, once again, it seems a good time to re print information on your rights. (editor)

PITFALL II: "I don't know anything important anyway." Keep in mind that the FBI is en g aged in m a ss iv e i n f or m a t io n gath e r in g . Seemingly innocent information— who was wor king at a certain place at a certain time, for example, or who a c e rt a in p e rs o n ' s friends are— helps establish a data bank which, serving as a guide for police surveil lance and infiltration, can lead to further harassment of individuals and the destruction of c o m m u n i t y . No FBI a g e n t a s ks idle questions. PITFALL III: "I won't tell them anything they don't already know." They may well lead them to think they know more than the actual ly do. In fact, they may be merely guessing or testing unreliable information or seeking to "legally" substantiate information they have gathered by illegal means. PITFALL IV: "I've got nothing to hide--why not answer them?" Our innocence is to be assumed— we don't have to prove it to anyone. Those who have tried this approach have found their answers severely distorted, taken out of context, and used against them.

From a leaflet prepared bv the Boston Grand Jury Project The FBI has a variety of come-ons: sometimes friendly, sometimes tough (as has been done a lot in gay communities) , sometimes they pre tend to be identified with voter registra tion, the census or credit bureau, or the long-lost high school friend of a friend of yours. Often they come in pairs so if you do talk to them one can corroborate in court the other's story of what you said. They some times use physical disguises and dress in ways intended to get you to drop your guard. Or they use interrogation tricks, such as "We have information which tends to implicate you in your neighborhood bank robbery. If you could answer a few questions, I'm sure we can straighten things out." This can easily lead you to describing your activities, where abouts, and companions on a certain date. Don't lose your cool. DON'T TALK TO THE FBI.

PITFALL V: "Why not try to find out what they're after?" Getting information from a highly trained agent requires considerable skill. Don't try to outwit them at their own game. Tell them to leave immediately. They are trained in interrogation techniques, psychological trickery, all sorts of ways to get you to talk. PITFALL VI: "I'll mix them up with a bunch of lies." Again you are risking having to testify in court— and penalties for perjury are worse than for non-collaboration. There is no law r equiring us to talk to an FBI agent--but it is a federal crime to tell a lie to them. LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS— THE ONLY SAFE RESPONSE IS A REFUSAL TO TALK TO AGENTS.

---- t i i ---- W TTM —

If you have been contacted by the FBI, or want more information, call the Boston Chap ter of the National Lawyers Guild: 227-7335, or for their lawyer referral service call: 227-7008. Another resource for legal and political information is: The Grand Jury Project, 835 Broadway (rm 1116), N.Y.C., N.Y. (212) 674-6005.

yp f t 25

We walked past the group, ignoring them. Garoldine and I took up residence against a tree about ten feet from the end of the pick et line and began necking. We kissed and we billed and cooed, and we talked to each other about how much we loved each other, all with out giving the others so much as a glance.

GURLEENS

ENGAGE IN

Their resolve began to quickly melt. Within two minutes, a young mother took her children out of the picket line and hurriedly ushered them away from the scene lest our evil influ ence corrupt them. Then, a woman removed herself from the other marchers and stood between us and the others, using her placard to try to shield the picketers from the view of our amorous display. We moved to just the other side of the placard and intensified our efforts. The woman quickly skulked back to the safety of her heterodyne peers.

FAERIE DIRECT ACTION

The group caucused, and, with sunken chests, packed their placards, slogans and chants, and drove home. Garoldine and I were ebullient. It had all happened so quickly— within the space of ten minutes. We were in the process of debrief ing ourselves and proclaiming ourselves Gur leen heroines when a beautiful man exited the clinic, joined us, and thanked us on behalf of the staff inside. Epiphany! As a member of ACT UP New York, I know the power and effectiveness of actions that are directly confrontational. I do feel that the faerie model of "askance" actions demon strates another powerful model for direct action.

December 27, 1988

My faerie girlfriend Garoldine Gurleen and I, Maybeline Gurleen, had traveled upstate from New York City to Ithaca to attend a gathering for the Winter Solstice. After a day with faeries, Garoldine and I, full of faerie energy and magic, ventured into the town for a little shopping and cruising.

This coming June, faeries from all over the United States will be gathering in New York City to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion, and to explore more fully what it means for faeries to en gage in askance direct action. Queer anar chists will also be gathering. My hope is to see a profound celebration where our tribes live up to the spirit of the S tonewall Revolution.

As we drove into Ithaca, we spotted some picketers. We noticed that the building behind the protesters was a Planned Parent hood office, and with dawning horror realized that we were encountering fundamentalist crusaders. They comprised men, women and children, about then of them, carrying plac ards with clever slogans like "stop the sec ond holocaust."

With Faerie Love and Magic, Mickey J. Wheatley, a/k/a Maybeline Gurleen

We pulled the car to the curb opposite the marchers and booed them. They responded with typical stoicism, raising their placards and chests a little higher, only internally rev eling in their martyrdom. We drove off the park the car, disappointed that we had merely fueled their resolve. We decided that we simply had to go back and somehow create counter action. We had had a Gurleen Roundtable the month before, and wanted to take our notions of faerie politics to the streets. We weren't sure what we should do, but took heed of Harry Hay's ad vice that a faerie action is not done in opposition to something, but rather comes from askance. 26

Rondar Festtvo Desnudo

R ebirth F rom Spiritual Reflections from the New Mexican High Desert by Dimid and Milo Introductory notes and queries: How do we integrate/differentiate the participation of gay men (and lesbians) in the 'New World' spiritual renewal from the development of a uniquely gay Faerie spirituality? Does our participation in any of the many ancient or newly-arisen spiritual traditions of these times complement or hinder our own unique spiritual quests as Faeries?? Do we need to feel th a t our s p ir itu a lity is descended from a cen tu ries-o ld tra d itio n , be it Catholicism, Zen Buddhism, Native Shamanism, or Dianic Wicca; or is it enough to deeply feel and explore the spiritual connentions that rise up from deep within us?? Do we trust and listen to our own feelings enough to develop a spirituality from our own unconscious, or do we need to rework and deconstruct the images and archetypes of the older traditions and make them our own?

We don't have an answer; we offer this collection of articles and images as a glimpse into the current and immediate universe of spirituality as we see it from here. We are gay, white men in the dominant culture, and have been severed from our true spiritual heritage and lineage; we have to create it totally from the meditations and feeling within. Our response to this creative urge will shape our futures. Our dreams, loves, lives, and how we live in and through them are the creators of tomorrow. It is like weaving a new garment out of the varied threads of many ancient tapestries, while we spin new threads to integrate as well. Who knows what the Final product will be, or maybe the weaving will ju st continue! Being in an area that is considered to have many vibrations of spirit moving through it-one does keep a healthy skepticism about it all. Exploring our senses of place and connectedness. Being native to this land-as we are all natives-in a worldview that strives to ascend above all sense of differentness or separation. Make love on the floor of your puptent with an endangered species-show them you care! There is a powerful link between the land and the cycles of nature, connected to other individuals and a community of activities promoting right livelihood and goodwill. May all beings be happy was my mantra as we walked the labyrinth just after Brigit in the wind and snow. This was pulled together by a couple of sissy-faggot bio-sexual kind of guys, so it shows some of our biases-pardon our slips!! 27

Healing the earth, healing ourselves: As we each are a living, breathing body, so too the earth is a living, breathing body. And as we each undertake the work of healing our individual bodies, the earth is strengthened in her own renewal and healing. The work we need to do with the earth has more to do with making amends with Her than it has to do with healing Her. To say that we need to heal the earth feels to me like a continuation of Human-centric values. A continuation of AMA-like values th a t the doctor is going to come along and heal the victim. As we know, the true healing comes from within the individual. The earth is healing itself, we need to expand our honoring of her, and surrender to her in service. But the earth is going to continue on with or without us. Humans live in a very narrow environmental niche. Many species of life live beyond that niche. They and the earth can endure the potential changes much more. We need to make amends in our relationships to the planet, but it

loving the earth and everyone on it: The concept of being a biosexual has to do with the bridging of concepts between or beyond the limiting words of male/female, heterosexual/homosexual . . . to take us to a place almost beyond words to a gestalt of being. Ju st as the earth has been objectivfied and abused so too have the personal/interior identities of all people as individuals. When we can get beyond the lim itations we adopted to survive when we were children, there is a place of unique wholeness that d o esn 't know lim ita tio n s. O ur u rg e s/d riv e s to fulfillment are able to have their own expression. Gay men and lesbians are already moving to explore these inner states of being--but that does not mean that one must BE a gayman or lesbian to do this. It simply means that one must not be afraid to explore this aspect of their potential expressions. Once one has moved into this and through it, and that's determined by one's own criteria, the individual is freer to choose the options available. This ties into the "bio-" aspects in that the integrity of the earth has also not been allowed its own free expression. It too has had to go "under-ground to survive--yet it is now moving into a place of do-or-die as we see reflected in the dramatic conditions of weather changes, etc. As the earth moves into and thru its power, we too are being asked to move into our places of power. I see these to be more within the individual, and not so much going to "places of power" as so many others are feeling drawn to.

Notes on post-industrial animism; For me there's a big difference between religion and spirituality, and right now for a lot of people, and for civilization in general, there is more conflict about what constitutes religion or what is spirituality; even within organized religions and the Christian denominations, there's this upheaval. Certainly there are lots of options available to people now in America in terms of spiritual practice; there's a smorgasbord, everything you could imagine. Personally, I think I'm still missing or still trying to bring into being, a spirituality that gets away from the duality, gets away from judgment about what's spirit, what’s bad, what's good, what's evil. We've had so much beaten into our brains about Christianity, about carnal sins, or how the flesh is wicked. That’s our cross to bear in terms of how religion has crucified us, if you will, feeding us so much guilt for so long. I hope I've left that behind, but I'm still looking for the positive image. Some of the things Christianity calls "sins” are my sacraments. I have the hope or the dream that there’s some kind of new vision, sometimes I call it post-industrial animism. I’m looking for another kind of earth religion for the 21st century. You know, if we still have an earth left in the 21st century, if we get through these crises, then we're going to perhaps treat the earth again as a Goddess truly, and have a new kind of earth religion that isn t sexist and isn’t denouncing the body as nonspiritual. Its crazy to me the whole way religions operate. Unfortunately, all of the major world religions are patriarchal, and so are most of the gurus, and I found that leaves men who are sensitive alienated from these patriarchal types of workings. I’ve dabbled in Paganism, and I’ve dabbled in Buddhism, and I’ve dabbled in Native American earth religions, but there’s still some kind of synthesis for me waiting to happen yet, and I hope and believe in th at. I'm waiting for some renewal of something that comes from us, comes from our own imagings and our own deeply heart-felt needs to have some kind of spiritual rebirth that ties us back with the earth.

"We would not keep reappearing under the laws of natural selection, over the millenia, if we didn't, in some way, favor survival. I'm suggesting, that if that is the case, we begin to use it consciously, and begin to act in a responsible way, for the spiritual survival of our family, namely Homo sapiens." Harry Hay, from an interview broadcast on "This Way Out," February 18, 1989. Harry Hay, born in 1912. was a co-founder of the Mattachine Society, the first modern male homophile organization in the United Stales, in the late 1940’s. He was also one of the convenors of the first Spiritual Gathering for Radical Fairies, held in Arizona in 1979.

INTERVIEW WITH A BIOSEXUAL: (milo tells all) RFD: When did you become aware of your Biosexuality? MILO: One of my best memories was going to Nashville with a truckload of people from Short M ountain-this was before the faerie sanctuary days--there was a male/female couple on the trip, I think I had a crush on them both. They were in love and ju st exuding sexual energy--I felt relatively alone, but very turned on. The bush honeysuckle was in bloom, it's so common around old houses there, well I just went up and kissed a flower, and felt the rush of sexual/erotic energy up my spine (it may have helped that I was probably stoned at the time but what's it for anyway). This was my first conscious sense of getting erotic satisfaction from in te rac tio n w ith th e vegetable community (not counting penetration by Zucchini, but that's not as consensual anyway).

MILO: To get to that truth I believe there is a sense of unity between them. But to get there we need to deconstruct everything that the religions of western civilization have taught us about sex being sinful. RFD: Well, it seems we're getting pretty good at that! MILO: I th in k th a t's been a rem arkably strong tendency or fact of the belief system of Faerie ways, as well as the more Lesbian/Feminist trends in Wicca; the sooner we realize that our bodies are literally part of the body of the earth, the better off we'll all be. Since there is this connection, how we relate to the earth reflects how we treat ourselves; it's just not doing bad things (not smoking, not littering, not clearcutting); it's doing good things-loving ourselves, loving the earth and her creatures. You need to put out that, feeling, when you see a beautiful tree, or a wounded bird; really feel the love, sorrow or compassion as you would for a lover.

RFD: Did you tell anyone? MILO: No, I didn't. RFD: Did you feel you couldn't or didn't want to? MILO: It was too special, and I needed my little secrets then. This was my special secret, I didn't have a word for it. I knew when the right people came along I could share it with them.

RFD: what about Biosexuality and Ecofeminism? MILO: It's another m^jor tenet of biosexuality that the Ecofeminist analysis of the linking of the oppression of women and the oppression of the earth can be turned around by loving the earth and everyone on it. The Ecofeminist analysis is that the ecological crisis and the sexism crisis are both manifestations of the same androcratic/dominator mentality; the two oppressions are analogous and linked. Ecofeminism has shown the links, and helps us understand this situation. What biosexuality does is take another leap, and offers a possible solution. It says that by confronting one oppression, we can begin to heal the other one. By healing the male/female split, with play, love, creative healing interaction, we can add energy to the web that will heal and resolve the earth/human split. By the male/female split, I mean not ju st between the genders literally but also the split within all of us, the right/left brain, body/mind duality split, and the false dichotomy of gender-constructed behaviors which we have been taught. There are for sure differences between men and women, some of them perhaps in how our brains work--but with all the conditioning, unless we really do the work to get below some of that, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never know what it really means to be fully human.

RFD: What year was this? MILO: Possibly 1975. RFD: Had you always felt so different? MILO: That experience put a lot of things together for me; it gave me a great deal of hope that I didn't have to be lonely, if I could tap into the infinite well of erotic energy that was in Nature. RFD: Is there any figure of mythology that feels similar to this energy for you? MILO: Well, Pan and Diana from Classical Mythology, the untamed, raw sexual energy of nature feels like them. RFD: Can others feel it or learn it? MILO: Yes, everyone should--for me, it's important for men to get out of their ego for their sexual energy. We re just channels for the energy, we don't own it, and in fact have an obligation to share it with the Universe and not hide it. Put it out on the Web, as Joe Kramer says. The ego wants to create a setting of containment of it-b u t it is very liberating to realize that we are channels for it, that we don't need to be attached to loving or losing in love, but that all of life is a dance of these energies-sexual, erotic, reproductive.

RFD: What about the "subject-subject relationship" concepts spoken of by Harry Hay? Does that relate in some way? MILO: Of course; this named a state of being already in our hearts. We know we want to manifest relationships and all human interactions, personally and socially in th is way. It is u ltim a te ly a visio n of h e a lin g alienations of gender, race, age, etc. We have tried to model it in our relations with women, m odeling subject/subject relations here as well.

RFD: What is the relationship between sexuality and spirituality? â&#x2013; ,

nature of life. Going hand-in-hand with life's rhythms or cycles is the strong central belief common to all native cultures worldwide that all life and every place is sacred. I did not know what this meant until recently, as I began to explore the rhythms of joy and pain in my own life. For an example of life's rhythms, look at the Mayan Calendar, which is set up as cycles of varying lengths that intersect like cogwheels in a gearbox. As a gear or cycle moves, it interacts with other gears that intersect with other cycles. All are in motion, each with its own tempo. I look at the varying rhythms of life like this. There are the daily rhythms: waking, brushing teeth, eating, working, playing, going to bed; the weekly rhythms: Monday to Friday, Friday night out, observance of the Sabbath; the monthly events: payday, the waxing and waning of the Moon, paying the ever-recurring utility bills and car installment (these sometimes feel like a treadmill instead of a cycle); the seasonal observances: a quarterly haircut, gardening, team sports, the school year, hunting seasons, holy days and festivals; and as I grow older, the two to 10-year cycles: elections, graduation reunions, special "marker" birthdays like 30, 35, 40, 50, etc., and the various "itches" that go along with them. And then I can look forward to the longer cycles: watching my children grow and become adults and possibly p a re n ts them selves of children--m y grandchildren--with more cycles to unfold. In the recurrence of cycles, rhythms and rituals, I find a special quality that I am beginning to realize is sacred. Often there's no flash or pizazz. Part of me wants more excitment, but I also realize that's not so important anymore. Recently I was going through a lot of emotional pain over events in my life. I felt I had no direction, like a ship adrift with no rudder or anchor. After days of struggling with the pain and thrashing about, I fell back on a comfortable ritual; I went for a walk. There's a dirt road near my home. There's not much to it. It runs out west on the plain south of Santa Fe. To the left of the road, I can see Tetilla Peak, straight ahead the Jemez Mountains and to the right, the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. The road isn't very long, going about a third of a mile before it runs into Agua Fria Street. It's lined with barking dogs and barbed-wire fences for most of its length. Despite the distraction of the dogs and the ugliness of the fences, I have walked this unremarkable road many times. On this day, I found myself on that road again. As I walked and looked toward Tetilla Peak, then to the Jemez and around to the Sangre de Cristos, the chaos in my mind began to to calm, and the strong breeze began to carry away my worries. Then I realized that this familiar, comforting walk had become sacred to me in its simplicity. I had turned to it once again as a comforting, nurturing ritual. And I realized that finding the sacred in a profane world had much to do with simplifying my desires and clarifying my intent. To want sacredness, I discovered I must honor the sacredness of myself and others, and my relationship to them and this planet, my home, in all its appearances. I had desired beauty, but to find it I had to let go of a preconceived idea of beauty and see the beauty and sacredness in what was before me, even an ordinary, dusty road.

Holy Ground Is Where You Find It by Dimid Strangely enough, I was in the Los Angeles area when I began writing this article. I had purposely "saved" my thoughts, because I find my best writing comes when I keep it bottled up, brewing inside until it's ready to pour out in a gush. I also felt that being in LA would give me some strong contrasts with what I was trying to express. It certainly did. The subtlety of the unspoken, the unspeakable, ever present in northern New Mexico, seems lost in southern California. There, everything needs to catch attention. In the dom inant culture of the U nited S ta te s, value is determined by how much something is desired by another person. Something highly desired by a lot of people has much value. There is no room for something to have value in and of itself, simply for existing. As far as value goes, it is through the contrast of the old and the new, the familiar and the innnovative, that we may become aware of our traditions and their value. These traditions may be threatened by new methods, and yet the old may gain value by the mere presence of these new threats. It's a paradox of our times. A newcomer, a refugee from the dominant culture, I find great value in the traditions of the Pueblo peoples, the proud, independent, Hispanic culture and the smaller but no less proud group of n o rth e rn E uropean frontiersmen and settlers. But it doesn't feel right to attempt to immerse myself in them, to try to find meaning in someone else's traditions and values. So, I have been exploring how to find my own values and traditions. To do that, I start with my own roots. I was raised a liberal Protestant in rural Minnesota. My parents gave me a foundation that I still respect, yet they haven't felt the need to keep me, their adult son, in the fold. So I'm fortunate. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to contend with a personal tradition that is burdensome, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been allowed to find my own truths. Sometimes I epjoy returning to my parents' church and hearing again the songs and rituals of my youth. My parents a re n 't farm ers, but nevertheless a close association with the land sustains them. Back home there is much of value--a sacredness that is honored-but it doesn't offer me a sense of tradition that can sustain me in 1989. For this, I, like many others of my generation, have had to go out into the world and within myself to find sacred values. It is a process I'm still involved in. A key starting point for me in developing a sense of the sacred has been to look at those aspects of life that are cyclic or have their own rhythm. It feels good to do this. Even mundane tasks like paying utility bills take on a new light when I see them as indicators of the cyclic

tour to D.C., Fla., N.C. (family), and to SMS [Short Mountain Sanctuary]. But I may well return to SMS to live during the Spring. I long to be there with the community of souls I so love and champion. I know for sure that I want to be at Short Mtn. when I leave my body-out at the Medicine Wheel, with people who love me gathered round to drum and to sing me out of my body, and on to the next phase, with my eyes open and my heart beaming. For the moment I am quite please to be healthy enough to have a break from Manhattan. Maintaining any quality to/of life here is just too demanding. Why make it harder? I am tru ly sad th a t J e ffre y 's c h an g es have necessitated his breaking all ties with me, us. I would love to see him, be with him, again. But if it's not to be, it's not to be. There's the possibility, of course, that he may already be dead. But if he is alive, I can not help but feel hurt by his silence. If he is alive, he will feel sad when he discovers I tried for so long to find him -and I don't want to promote that or to nurture THAT. I just wish he'd let SOMEONE know where, how, that he is. I would be very happy to get impersonal word of him-I'm not too demanding. These several years I have kept a candle burning for him in the window of my heart. I wish he could see it, be warmed by it.

From a Letter to a Friend by Mason These days, I find myself embracing the invisible world just as much as the visible world. There comes a realizatio n , th e visible w orld is only a p a rt of reality-although we vainly attem pt to ignore the not-visible world because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s too unknown--and thus, to most of us, too fearful. And yet, now that I've begun to let go my fears, I feel so whole, and very peaceful. I find m yself am used by m uch th e s e d a y s--th e little frustrations of life--my mother complaining because she has a cold--my lover going crazy because one of his client's lamps was due for delivery yesterday. We let these trivial things occupy our minds because if we DON'T, we may be forced to think. My dreams are almost surreal-often I find myself in eloquently beautiful places--like m ountaintops in desert-like old temples in ruins, with the underlying conviction t h a t th e re a re th in g s like c ry s ta ls , submerged beneath the visible-still hum ming- waiting.

I love you, Michael Mason

"And in the midst of the burning city, there she stood, pen in hand." Paul Kantner, from The Empire Blows Back

Fantasies, ironically, are our truest truths. Fantasies are a running tap from our inÂ side selves, untouched by the ego, floating naked and blind in front of us. 1/17/81

These days I find myself travelling inward, seeking a new peace, and finding it. I've let go of a lot of "normal" stuff-to upscale the quality of my time. I'm on a lot of drugs and healthy. And happy. I've been tending to my "loose ends" in relation to other people-clearing stuff up, for my sake and my friends'. No reason for any of us to live with shit in our lives, but we do, always believing th at there will be time to tend to it. My directness has resulted in a few relationships ending, but many others have been greatly strengthened by the act of speaking my heart. The hardest part is, and was, mounting the courage to begin the process. Why do we wait so long? Why do we waste such a precious element-Time? This makes a travesty and a blasphemy of love. By the time I go out of my body I want to be as clear as possible-deal with the inherent Karmas of this incarnation, so I may have the chance to be born again with less baggage to plow through. I want to be a child who is ready, next time. A child who KNOWS-whosp Karma is cleaned-up, a child who is prepared to DO, who sees the way and GOES for it. This is not to intone that I have given up on THIS life already-for I most definitely haven't. But as my body becomes less com fortable to live in, I can contemplate leaving it with fewer regrets. If you were driving and your car quit going, would you sit there in its empty, useless shell for long, by choice? Try to crank it a few times, but get out and start walkingNext weekend I'm leaving NYC for a 3 week driving

23 November '79 Softness. A hush; a strong but gentle whisper. A slow and sure pace, an open heart, an open soul, . .. accepting eyes. Softness. A tender falling tear slowly rolling down my cheek. Caring for other people, for their woes, and their exuberance. I want to be soft. I want to be strong to be sure, but I need to be soft, to be seen by being partially a soft person. David Edington 30 Old Arroyo Chamiso Santa Fe, NM 87505

"It is the recognition of this heritage and its expression in contemporary society that we (explored) through the Third Annual Lesbian and Gay Spiritual Conference . . . This is perhaps the only gathering of its kind in the United States. "We do not pretend to offer experiences in every faith and spiritual practice. Yet the space and time that has been created will offer a wonderful opportunity to share the depth of our own individual enspiritments and that of others--and if we listen closely, we will hear the heartbeat that connects us all." By the end of the Conference, lesbians and gays who had come from as far away as Hawaii and the East Coast had held sw eat lodges (both together and separately), danced and delighted with costumes and fireworks, cast the unwanted into a burning fire of Shiva, Shiva, and journeyed through the beautiful forested mountains of Lama in silent meditation. Here's a sampling of workshops which were held: Gay Enspiritm ent, Families of Choice, The Spirit World of Plants, Shamanic Journeying, Walking the High Wire (ropes course), Shame, Sex and Spirit, Drumming to Open the Gate of the Inner Landscape, H e a lin g th e In n e r C h ild , an d C o n te m p la tiv e Improvisation. Besides the workshops there was early morning time for Tai Chi, Zen meditation, and Yoga with guided meditation. Separate men's and women's Pan and Diana Dances merged in a Kali Dance of Purification. There was even an optional river raft trip on the Rio Grande. It was, truly, a "Gathering of the Tribe,' in a way that empowered the vision of ourselves and our culture through love and the spirit of play. This year, the Fourth Annual Lesbian and Gay Spirituality Conference will again be held at Lama during the July 4 holiday, with an additional day. There is limited space available on the mountain; so, you are urged to register early! Contact: Foundation for Human Enrichment P O. Box 807 Albuquerque, NM 87103.

A Gathering of the Tribe by Douglas Conwell It was an event that was perhaps unequalled in the history of gay and lesbian people in the United States. During the July 4 weekend in 1988, nearly 150 of us gathered for the Third Annual New Mexico Lesbian and Gay Spirituality Conference at the Lama retreat center north of Taos. Words are not enough to describe what happened; but let me try anyway! First off, like any large organization, it took months of planning and many meetings, letters and phone calls to pull it all together. This year's Conference was preceded by two others that wonderfully paved the way for this third gathering. Without the vision of Buck Rhodes and those associated with the Foundation for Human Enrichment in Albuquerque, this could never have occurred. An open letter of invitation to the Conference sums up the heart of its purpose: "We live in a world that often seems to be spinning out of control, verging on the bou n d aries of self-destruction and chaos. Yet, at the same instant, we can find acts of love and courage, hope and faith that exceed all our dreams. When we speak of 'spirituality' we speak of a vital force that seems to course through all existence, a spark of divine grace that makes brothers and sisters of us all. "As gay men and lesbians, we have been given a gift of seeing and believing in a way that may be unique in our world. Because we are different from others, we have had to reach down deeply into our souls, search for meaning and define our own truths. It is the blessing of this gift that our search has brought us closer to our own hearts and those of others. "We do not define our totality of being simply by our preference for loving men or women. We also know that we share a heritage of spiritual traditions with gay and lesbian shamans, priests, priestesses, medicine people, and religious leaders from all cultures throughout the world. 32

The New Mexico Lesbian and Gay Spirituality Conference: A Personal Experience by Buck A. Rhodes

The connections created go on . . . uy Mari Susan Selby The Third Annual Lesbian and Gay Spirituality Conference gave me a glimpse of a world I want to live in. A world of wholeness and acceptance, where I and all of us could express ourselves in freedom. You could call this a family of brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. I found I need Gay men in my life to fill out the expression of both my male and female sides. We do need each other, not only because of AIDS and the shutting out, invalidation (whatever you want to call oppression) we receive from society in general. We can create a world based on love and acceptance; not a brave new world, after all weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been in existence for millenia. When I feel more whole I know the contribution I can make to the healing of the planet is greater. "Torch Song Trilogy" was great not just because of the "voice" we were given, but also because of the positive role models shown. At the Conference, both as an organizer for three years and as a participant, I saw Gay men doing their thing and proud of themselves. This past summer, I saw Lesbians proudly doing their thing, and the bridges, the loving that was shared between us was wonderful. As a woman and as a Lesbian, how wonderful to be able to share my heart with my sisters and Gay men who accept me as I am. What a fullness, a sense of wholeness I felt. I have tremendous gratitude for being a part of this Conference. For the first two years, often I was one of a small handful of L esbian-type people involved in the Conference. Sometimes I felt frustrated and alone. Sometimes I was able to accept and take in the love which was offered. My joy was so much more complete when more than 60 women showed up last year; and then to see my vision of sharing be actualized! (It was not only my vision, I just felt alone sometimes.) We really can create wonder. More than the high of the moment, the connections created go on. The caring demonstrated whenever we see one another, whether at dances or at AIDS awareness day, is so wonderful. As I said in the beginning, I need Gay men in my life, I feel more whole. And when I see and feel the bonds we share, how much more powerful I feel, how much more whole the world is! Thanks for being there.

Some gays search for the spiritual side of their lives in traditional religious organizations. Many others abandon this side of their lives or pursue their spiritual life privately. A few of us are spiritual explorers and our numbers seem to be growing. We search amongst many traditions and sacred practices for those aspects which fill us with joy and wonder without being roped into highly organized institutions. Each summer for the last three years, many of us have gathered at the New Mexico Lesbian and Gay Spirituality Conference. Our gathering has a series of experiential workshops and celebrations. We learn, we share by experiencing together. We sing, we dance, we play, we meditate, we worship, we sweat together, we create ritual together. We don't preach nor do we listen to sermons, but we do give our attention to those who speak from th eir h e a rts tellin g of the real life experiences. We primarily nurture each other. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen the gathering grow from 30 to 60 to 120. I've seen lesbians and gay men really enjoy being together. I've heard new songs being spontaneously generated by whole groups of people; I've experienced ritual that takes on a life of its own; I've seen gays and lesbians smiling clear down to their belly buttons. We have danced for joy, we have danced the celebration of our lives. We danced to a drum played as it has never been played before. We have seen brothers and sisters truly happy being gay, celebrating being gay, and understanding the true value of being gay. We have seen the staff of the Lama Foundation understanding this too; they became caught up in our joy, our loving, and cried with us when we left.

Pair of ithyphallic spirits or deities greeting each other Print of Cerillos Basin New Mexico rock art, enhanced with pen and xerox. Thanks to Peter Igo 33

Book Review: The Chalice and the Blade by Riane Eisler

by Milo

(ISBN # 0-06-250289; $ 9.95 US)

This book was given to me by a woman-friend just after this past Winter Solstice, and it has had a profound effect on me. Strangely enough, it had been shown to me several months before, but I was not attracted to it. I think when I saw it the first time I thought it was another mytho-psychological analysis of "feminine" versus "masculine" values. I was in a space of trying to explore my own sense of a new masculine ethos and I didn't want to read what I thought would be a book on women's archetypes or psychological explorations. I needed a more grounded sense of what it means to be human at this time in history. When I finally opened up the book, and actually began to read it, I couldn't put it down. Instead of being the psychological or mystical volume I expected, I found a remarkable exploration of "our history, our future," as it says on the cover. Riane Eisler has taken a look at the entire sweep of human cultural evolution from a new perspective, th a t of the partnership, or "gylanic" viewpoint. Her central thesis is that all the bases of human culture, arts, and civilization were developed in a reality in which women and men were both respected, in which sexuality was free, and where the technology was of nurturanee, not destruction. This is, in short, the lost "golden age" of myth and legend. It really happened!! Our dreams of the future have their firm basis in a past which has been denied to us because of androcratic m isinterpretation of both hum an nature and the archaeological record. For example, we carry with us the image of early "man" as holding a club with which to hit something over the head and kill it; in actuality the first technological invention was probably a vessel of some kind, either for gathering vegetable foodstuffs or for cradling children. These were, of course, invented by early

Women hunters running. Painting in red - Oenpelli, Unbalania, Northern Australia.

A lot of emphasis is placed in the book on the importance of Cretan or Minoan Civilization to the developm ent of W estern c u ltu re. This highly technologically advanced civilization, which was at its height about a thousand years before Classical Greece (ca. 1400 B.C.E.), honored both women and men equally, was notably non-warlike, and worshipped the Great Goddess. Who has not marvelled at pictures of the bull-leapers, the Snake-Goddess statues, or the delicate paintings of lilies and dolphins which adorned the walls of the great palace at Knossos? And let's not forget the Labrys, or double-axe which is today a prominent icon of Lesbian/Amazon culture. The origin of this symbol is in the Goddess-religion of Crete. The Chalice and the Blade is an inexpensive volume, published by Harper and Row. It will be available in your local regular bookstore (if it's not sold out), or in the library. Since itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inexpensive, it doesn't have glossy color photos of the Minoan art treasures mentioned in the text. I found it useful to have a couple of art or archaeological books by my side to be able to see the wonderful scenes of young Minoan men with flowers in their hands or priestesses performing the rites of the Great Goddess. My dreams have not been the same since!! Another important feature of The Chalice and the Blade is its exploration of the "stunted morality" of Biblical law in regard to women. Quoting Eisler: "We have been taught that the Judeo-Christian tradition is the greatest moral advance of our species. The Bible is indeed primarily concerned with what is right and wrong. But what is right and wrong in a dominator society is not the same as what is right and wrong in a partnership society. There are . . . many teachings in both Judaism and Christianity suitable for a partnership system of human relations. But to the extent that it reflects a dominator society, biblical morality is at best stunted. At worst, it is a pseudomorality in which the will of God is a device for covering up cruelty and barbarity." When I learned ancient history in grade school, the assumption was that law and morality began with the Code of Hammurabbi or the Mosaic Laws. In reality, these dominator lawcodes were set up after the overthrow of legal and moral systems which valued all human life, female and male, and which governed peaceful, not warlike, societies. In addition, the classical Greek ideas of liberty and democracy (for free men only) were but watered-down versions of the earlier traditions which had their origins in pre-androcratic societies such as Minoan Crete. In fact, Pythagoras and Socrates were pupils of women-Themistoclea and Diotema, respectively. Much of myth, classical, Biblical, and otherwise, recounts how the Goddess was overthrown, raped and murdered. These myths developed as justifications for the continued dominator/androcratic rule following the

Group of naturalistic baked clay statuettes of the Mother Goddess from Hacilar level VI (ca, 5600 B.C.E.).

The implications of this viewpoint are staggering; this book is justly receiving great acclaim from a wide range of sources. The noted anthropologist, Ashley Montague, is quoted on the cover as saying that this is "The most important book since Darwins Origin of Species." The concept of a lost "matriarchal golden age" is central to the more spiritual trends in Feminist thought, and is a heartfelt belief or wish of modern Dianic neo-pagans. In fact. Feminist Spirituality is frequently criticized by more materialist viewpoints for not being grounded in an historical reality. The Chalice and the Blade puts the lie to these doubts about the validity of Feminist Spirituality by scrupulously analysing the historical and archaeological record to support its premises. 34

It is apparent that the vision of a gylanic society is that of "subject-subject" relations writ large; the faerie vision of gentle loving men living in harmony with nature is what we offer for the re-emergence of the future partnership society which must be the path of humanityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s future. Now is the time for us to carry our vision forth into the new world which is being created by all the human visionaries and poets who sense the turning of the cosmic wheel.

destruction of the earlier peaceful, agricultural societies by warlike, pastoral peoples from the more marginal areas of Eurasia. Riane Eisler also recounts how the partnership or gylanic mode of society has periodically resurfaced, only to be supressed again. Some of the teachings of Jesus reflect a loving vision of peace and harmony; the later church fathers supplanted this with a warlike and hierarchial "Christianity." The very word "hierarchy" was coined to describe the organization of the early church. The word "gylany," or "gylanic" has been formed by Riane Eisler to describe the type of society which flourished in ancient times and toward which we must move today if our species is to survive; it is a combination of "gy," derived from the Greek root word g yn e, meaning woman, and "an," from a n d ro s, or man. The letter "1" between the two is for linking, and is derived from the Greek lyein or lyo. This verb has a double meaning: to resolve (as in analysis) or to dissolve or set free (as in catalysis). This word and its origin sums up the main thesis of the book; that how a society organizes the relations between the two halves of humanity (men and women) has o orofound effect upon all of its institutions and values, and the direction of its cultural evolution, particularly whether it will be peaceful or warlike. Needless to say, in a technological era where the "blade" is a thermonuclear bomb or a nerve gas canister instead of a sword or slingshot, this is a matter for the very survival of our species. While The Chalice and the Blade focuses mainly on the ways relations between women and men are constructed as a gauge of how totalitarian or warlike a society is, there are abundant references to ways in which men, particularly "sensitive" or "effeminate" men are oppressed by androcracy. As we know, and as Eisler points out, these warlike and totalitarian societies (Hitler's Germany, Khomeini's Iran, etc.) are the most oppressive to women and to peaceful tendencies in men, or to spiritual minorities (Jews, Baha'is, etc.). In regard to the issue of maleness and warlike values, here is Eislerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s viewpoint: "For millenia men have fought wars and the Blade has been a male symbol. But this does not mean men are inevitably violent and warlike. Throughout recorded history there have been peaceful and nonviolent men. Moreover, obviously there were both men and women in the prehistorical societies where the power to give and nurture, which the Chalice symbolizes, was supreme. The underlying problem is not men as a sex. The root of the problem lies in a social system in which the power of the Blade is idealized--in which men and women are taught to equate true masculinity with violence and dominance and to see men who do not conform to this ideal as 'too soft' or 'effeminate'."

Goddess with lions and devotee - redrawn from a Minoan seal of Knossos.

We and the rest of the human species are obviously facing a crucial period in our history; either we will fall back into a kind of androcratic technofascism in which women will be slaves, free sexuality will be supressed, and the organisms of the planet will choke on human filth or be incinerated/radiated in a nuclear holocaust; or we will somehow develop a new culture which values nurturance, has respect for life and humanity in all its variety and sexual flowering, and finds ways to meet its material needs without extinguishing other species and terminally fouling its nest. Khomeini and the Moral Majority understand how Feminism, civil rights, free sexuality, ecology, and peace are linked, and they oppose them all with a vengence; we who realize how these values and issues are part of our vision and hold the key to our survival must continue to become what we want in the world and create the myths in our lives which will be the stories for our people to live by. The Chalice and the Blade has given me hope. In this month of re-dedication to the principles which I have cherished in my h e a rt for y ears, th is book has strengthened my vision and allowed me to feel part of a past and a future of joyous, loving, and harmonious women and men, living in deep communion with the Earth and its creatures. Who could ask for more?? 23 February, 9989 Riane Eisler and her associates have formed the Center for Partnership Studies to investigate and promote the ideas explored in The Chalice and ihe Blade; in addition, a study guide for group work is available from the Center. For more information, contact: Center for Partnership Studies P O. Box 51936 Pacific Grove, CA 93950 An article by Eisler also appears in the Fall 1988 issue of 'Woman of Power' magazine.

CRET AN GODDESS BEF ORE HER WORS HI P ERS

"Jane Fonda in Tibet" - Body Electric Workshop with Joe Kramer by Pilo Sex! Either we are excited by it, afraid of it, addicted to it, or all of the above. When I first decided to do the Erotic M assage Workshop with Joseph Kramer my thoughts about it went every which way. My First thought was, "Boy this could be fun!" I went from that to, "What will I tell Ben!!! He will kill me, I can't go through with this. It's wrong! I should be ashamed of myself!" Despite every thought I had about it being wrong, I knew there was a reason for my doing the workshop. I knew that I had problems with sex which stood in the way of my functioning as a whole person. I had always felt that sex was dirty, not to mention a carnal sin. The fact that I felt attracted to men made it so much the worse. I was going against the will of God. This, I assure you, was only the tip of the iceberg. Driving down to Albuquerque to do the workshop was the hardest part of the entire affair. Not only did I put myself into such a state that I missed my exit, but I had a flat tire, a headache, a backache, and I even cried a little. Lingering in some dark corner of my mind was my fear of making my sexuality public. Having my sexuality go from something private to something public makes me open to judgments, to criticism, to putdowns, and to rejection. I could not have been more nervous. Moments after I arrived, however, I became much more relaxed. Joseph Kramer was my dream of the perfect man. He was handsome, intelligent, and seemed to have a genuine interest in helping gay men to have a deeper and more complete understanding of our sexuality.

Collage by Henri.

rubbed by the man we were facing. Next we would switch off and rub the genitals of the man we were facing, as he rubbed his own chest, all the while taking short, shallow breaths. Then each man would take a step to the left forming new couples and the process was repeated again until we once again faced our original partners. By this time the group had bonded and we were on our way to the grand finale, our first full body orgasm.

My experience of the workshop was not as difficult as I thought it might be. Entering into it, many of the other men had some of the same concerns I had. Somehow knowing that most people feel they need a few more sit-ups makes it a little easier. Though most of the workshop was done in the nude, the group had a chance to bond before we became disrobed. Also this process is done in such a way that it became exciting and fun. In fact the entire workshop was designed in such a detailed way that it was more of an adventure than a workshop.

Describing a full body orgasm is not easy, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure it's the same for everyone. My experience was so complex and rich that words can only talk around the sensation. To start with, I felt a rush of potency flood my entire body filling every cell with ecstasy! I felt my hair stand on end and was aware of every inch of my body all at once. I was also feeling very sexy and desirable. This feeling lasted for weeks. My concept of sex went from the goal of ejaculation to one of intense interaction.

The workshop begins with exercise designed to relax the body. These exercises were simple, ranging from stretching to rubbing each others backs and looking deeply into the eyes of another man. Once the group had become more relaxed and familiar with each other, the clothes slowly came off and the work became a bit more intimate. The goal of the workshop is to bring the entire body to a full body orgasm. Getting there is half the fun, that is if you like all sizes, shapes and colors of naked men. The next step incorporates one of the basic principles of Tantric body work. This part of the process begins with exercises designed to relax the body and stimulate it at the same time. This step starts to connect the erotic or lower energy with the heart or love energy, to bring the entire body to a full climax.

It was wonderful to watch men having this type of orgasm! Listening to the sounds they made, and watching the expressions on their faces suggested that they were having an encounter with God. Perhaps that is what having an orgasm is all about. .. Watching men have this experience is in some way like watching a birth, the body, soul, and mind are all hitting new heights! If I ever doubted the existence of God, now I know I was wrong. I also know God is all love. Joe Kramer runs the Body Electric School of Massage in Oakland, California. He says he has a three-year plan to change the way Gay men deal with their sexuality' and to radicallyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; alter everybody's definition of what is erotic!! Watch for his workshops to come to your neck of the woods.

We formed two circles, one inside the other, so that we had a ring of two men facing each other. Each exercise from this point on became more and more erotic. We began stroking our penises while our solar plexi were being

We are whirls of energy . .. within the universe. * Symbols of Life are, one of our love's We see that symbol in the universe ... within us. As we walk together the Swastika is our migrating, our migratory movements, It precedes us, and follows us; it is our destiny. We see it in often in our daily lives a quadrant of multiplicities. The Swastika is a breath whorl as it departs and enters my body / our bodies / our Body while in ecstasy.

The Swastika is an age old symbol (literally) from the time when first human did lay first step(s) or dance. It is found throughout the world in all the early civilizations of human (and spirit) - from India to America, from the Druids to the Trojans, from China to Greece; nearly everyw here, it has been seen or incorporated. The word 'swastika' is a Sanskrit term (of India) which means "well being," "good fortune," or "it is well." Used also as "Peace," and "Harmony;" it is also a symbol of "Spirit.” The Swastika is found on neolithic pottery and rock drawings; it was associated with Buddha, his doctrine of peace, and came to mean a benevolent society in classical China; Hindu for All is Complete; American Indian for "center" and "balance." It's the crux of the New Mexico state flag (an ancient Zia Indian symbol). Still revered in many parts of the world., from western America, to Asia, to Tibet (arms turn in both directions by all cultures - a balance of forces; the Nazis endorsed only one direction, not the balance).

♦ This beautiful 25,000 year-old symbol of 'the good,’ its turned 'bad' for 50 years (by one man) is a shameful crime. To let it go on being misinterpreted would be more shameful. It is an international symbol of peace and balance; I see it as Peace and the movement of the Sun, and our revolving journeys. May it bring good fortune to all. Speak of it - in good fortune.

Each of us. * It is in our love . . . It is love And when he makes love to me, I see life whirling My mind is whirling our love is stirring. * We are the electro-vibratory spiritual/material bodies of love . . . and in that, we are Balanced and One. The Swastika leads us it rolls across the universe it blows in circles in the trees, and the clouds roll in the sky We move with it we are the Swastika lover's.

Mark and Eric are residents of Santa Fe. Mark is a poet and writer. Eric is an artist and sculptor. Mark is, soon, coming out with a book on The (Complete) Swastika. Correspondence can be made to: Eric or Mark 613 1/2 Galisteo St., Santa Fe, NM 87501. 37

ALEX IN THE SKY, WITH DIAMONDS by Rand B. Lee © 1989 The week after Alex died, I took my wolf-dog, Kaz, out into the wintry New Mexico woods. Snow had softened the ground’s harsh clays; the sun was shining brilliantly off the white-clad junipers and little pinon trees. Kaz led me in a romp-and-tumble over the hills and down some arroyos until we both ended up, limp and panting, in a valley floored by a frozen brook. I was in that state of heightened awareness that often accompanies deep grief. I'd hardly eaten for a week; for all the two years Alex and I had spent together as best friends and channelers, his sudden, accidental death had taken me utterly unprepared. He'd developed ARC after being infected with HIV in an accident at the Key West lab where he'd labored as medical technologist; we'd assumed that either AIDS would kill him someday, or old age would. The former had seemed less of a possibility as, one by one, his ARC symptoms had gone into remission. We'd put it down to clean living and the effects of our metaphysical researches. But I found him one morning anyway, body cold and vacated and neatly arranged on his bed. They claimed it was a reaction to pain-killer he'd taken for an abscessed tooth, due to be extracted the following Monday. In the valley that afternoon, I hunkered down and watched my wolf nose cattails. Gradually the sunlight seemed to take on personality, seemed to shine not me but fat me, and I knew, abruptly, that it was Alex, somehow. He seemed undismayed that I had been calling him a selfish bastard all week. I'm not given to visions; my psychic experiences are quiet, undramatic, noticeable only because I’ve trained myself to notice them. Alex was the visionary. Every time he surfaced from a deep-trance channeling session, he said to me, "It's so beautiful there, where I was; one of these days I'm just going to stay." Dusk fell. I called Kaz, started carward, and got lost in the shadowy streamcourse. Nothing looked familiar, even remotely. The moon came out, and there was Alex, again. Guard-dogs barked at a farm. I felt afraid, glimpsed images, like memory, of barbed wire, German uniforms, Alsatians pulling at leashes and a dead run for a clipped fenceline. "Through here," said Alex in my fantasy memory, pushing me ahead of him so that it was he, not I, whom the dogs got. I am not given to visions. "How do I get out of here?" I asked the sky. A prominent star winked, then burned steady. By its light, I spied a side-track I’d not noticed. Following it, I found myself back on the road Kaz and I had taken from the place where I'd parked the station wagon. Alex again. You’ll have to take my word for it. Once upon a time I worked on the first Ozark issue of RED.. hated my body, and resolutely kept love at arm's length. Since then, I've climbed nearer to forty, sold some of my science fiction stories, learned to suck cock through

a condom, and found out that the reason I always kept love aw ay--fear of the pain of loss--was en tirely justifiable. Alex's death is the most terrible thing that has ever happened to me. But it wasn't the most terrible thing that ever happened to him. The day in the arroyo showed me that. I'm certain that death, for Alex, has been an explosion of joy. I drove home that night with Kaz's paw on my right shoulder. Three months later, on an empty road near my house, some guys broke his back with their speeding truck and I had to say goodbye to him, too. I buried Kaz's body in my rented garden, between the French tarragon and the double coreopsis. For two weeks I had nightmares that, somehow, the vet's needle hadn’t taken, that I'd buried him alive, that he'd awakened, stifling, with dirt in his lungs. That he felt, in short, like me: buried by the Physical Plane, unable to get free of it. Those dreams have faded. I’ve taken to going to the Santa Fe Animal Shelter and comforting the doomed dogs there. I assure them that they are merely passing through a door into another, more expanded kind of life. They do not understand my words. The puppies, however, like being picked up, and one of these days I'm going to pick one up and not set it down again, pick it up and risk my heart once more. We will go back to the arroyo where Alex, Kaz, and I played together, and we will let may dead friends slide their light over our bodies, until the time comes round again for us to change.

Borders from Style trends in Pueblo Pottery, by H. R Mera. Memoirs of the Library of Anthropology, Vol. 3. Santa Fe, New Mexico. 1939. Various petroglyph images from Indian Rock Art of the Southwest, by Polly Schaafsma, University of New Mexico Press, 1980; and Signs from the Ancestors: Zuni Cultural Symbolism and Perceptions of Rock Art, by M. Jane Young, University of New Mexico Press, 1988.

The NAMES Project Foundation

presents

a new play based upon the National AIDS Memorial Quilt The play is an abundant collection of vign ettes held together by the Quilt (six stit ches to the inch). One character portrays Jones and moves throughout the evening with messianic mania. Another character represents the man Jones got to handle the 'business end— pay the bills'. Another manages the sewing room; amother knows every thing about sewing. Other characters live out the period from November 1985 to October 1987 consumed with their day to day tragedies and successes on a platform smack in front of the audience. The characters make you believe; the highest praise I can relate.

DAVID LEMOS Premiered September 29, 1988 at the New Playwrights Theatre, Washington, DC

Technically, some vignettes could be cut (my own personal opinion). Others could be expanded into entire plays themselves. A PWA and his lover split, both terribly dis traught. We know why but that one short scene could have been an entire act unto it self. A straight women and her manfriend have serious 'relationship' problems over her compulsion to work with 'a bunch of fags'. I wanted to know more about that situation. A beautiful man in a slip was the quintes sence of 'genderfuck'. The actor had clear ly reached within himself and found that masculine/feminine continum and was free enough to 'play with it'. The female seamstress and gay man who runs the sewing room are wonderfully zaney. The straight women who's gay friend dies accuses gays of kill ing him; an accusation that 1 am sure lies buried among many. She finds her path to let him go and, hopefully, shows us we can also let our loved ones go.

Review by Raphael Sabatini I wasn't in DC for the National March for Lesbian and Gay Rights in 1987 and, as a result, also missed seeing the 1500+ panel Quilt. That is a loss I'll always regret. But the Quilt returned to Washington on October 7, 1988 and I am proud and humbled to say I participated in it's return. It's much bigger - 8288 panels. It covers the entire Ellipse behind the white house - over 7 football fields and that soft sculpture laid there as an accusation and also a testimony to those who have died and to those who are still alive. That sea of pain and hone is so profound that I can't begin to even relate its impact on me. But accompanying the Quilt was a troupe of ac tors who also came to Washington to premier a play that chronicles the development of the Quilt.

There is little, if anything, funny about this show. I cried from the start to final ly getting to sleep much later in my bed. But, like the women, I've started finding my own path to releasing those I've lost; and, HOPEFULLY, realizing how much I want to cherish those I still have with me.

David Lemos wrote the play MORE THAN NAMES to document how the original idea of the patchwork memorial started. Clive Jones saw the paper names pasted on the San Francisco Federal Building and thought that a collection/patchwork of those names could concretize people's pain, fear, anger, rage, loss, etc. That concrete collage could memorialize those who had died and hope fully stimulate the living into action to alleviate this scourge. The idea of the Quilt was born.

MORE THAN NAMES will be touring the country. If it comes anywhere near you— GOl It's very easy to always find excuses; but for this one there are NO excuses for not allow ing yourself the opportunity to grow. The Names Project Foundation: A National AIDS Memorial

The play chronicles how Jones overcame nu merous obstacles that seemed to doom the possibility of his idea from becoming reality. Volunteers came and went and generally didn't share, let alone comprehend his zeal. The time factor— not enough panels to even have a 'hankie' on the Mall; let alone a Quilt that would make a statement. Not enough time to get the hundreds of panels that arrived late sewn together and shipped to Washington on time for the March. The loss of volunteers to AIDS during the entire process.

Post Office Bo* 14573 San Francisco, CA 94114 (415) 863-5511 Cleve Jones Executive Director Michael Smith Genera] Manager

^ a « ri« 5 , Sh a m a n s 4 O f h « r Wild @ « a $ f 5 an interview with Aaron Wood by Michele Lindroos At t h i r t e e n 1 w a s u p r o o t e d f r o m m y h o m e in C o n n e c t i c u t : I r e t u r n e d y e a r s later, v i s i t i n g f r i e n d s a nd o l d p l a c e s o n l y to d i s c o v e r that t h i s w a s r e a l l y not h o m e at all. So w h e r e w o u l d I find " h o m e " ? T h e l o n g i n g a nd p u r p o s e w i t h w h i c h I left F l o r i d a , m y r e s i d e n c e s i n c e C o n n e c t i c u t , c e r t a i n l y d i s c o u n t e d that area. Q u i t e o b v i o u s l y , "home" c o u l d not be a r e t u r n to past p l a c e s but w o u l d n e e d to be d i s c o v e r e d in s o m e n e w m e a n i n g f u l p l a c e — if it w e r e to be f o u n d at all. T h i s past Fall, a l o n g w i t h t wo friends, I v i s i t e d Short M o u n t a i n S a n c t u a r y for t h e i r seasonal gathering. Here 1 met Aaron Wood ( f a m i l i a r l y k n o w n as " b l a n c h e " ) , a s h a m a m c c o u n s e l o r c e r t i f i e d w i t h the F o u n d a t i o n for S h a m a m c S t u d i e s u n d e r the d i r e c t i o n of Dr. M i c h a e l H a r n e r . B l a n c h e is a l s o a Fa e r i e . b l a n c h e i n t r o d u c e d us w o r k s h o p p a r t i c i p a n t s to d i a l o g u e w i t h the s p i r i t s of the land, to a n c i e n t t e c h n i q u e s of a l t e r e d s t a t e " j o u r n e y i n g " into s p i r i t r e a l i t i e s . I b e g a n to feel a s t r a n g e a n d p o w e r f u l s e d u c t i o n to the land — he s a i d t h i s is p art of F a e r i e h e r i t a g e , but the p o w e r that 1 feel h e r e a n d the s u s t e n a n c e the S a n c t u a r y g i v e s me m a k e s h i s t o r i c a l v a l i d a t i o n i r r e l e v a n t . So w h a t ' s a n i c e s e l f - r e s p e c t i n g l e s b i a n like me d o i n g in a p l a c e like t h i s ? — I'm not q u i t e sure. I ' m c e r t a i n l y not a tag-hag. But I'm the o n l y w o m a n r e s i d e n t a m o n q a small g r o u p of G a y m e n w h o 1ive a n d w o r k h ere and act as s t e w a r d s of the S a n c t u a r y . A f t e r a t t e n d i n g that t h r e e - d a y w o r k s h o p , I k n e w I h a d r e a c h e d my goal — 1 k n o w t h i s is w h e r e I m u s t be — I 'm home. W h e n B l a n c h e t o l d m e he w a s to w r i t e an a r t i c l e tor R F D a b o u t F a e r l e / s h a m a n i s m , I s u g g e s t e d we d o an i n t e rview, as h e s e e m s to r e s p o n d b e t t e r to q u e s t i o n i n g t h a n d i s s e r t a t i o n . H e r e it is.

A a r o n : I feel t h e r e a re G a y p e o p l e out there, women & men alike (although I k n o w RFD a d d r e s s e s i t self p r i m a r i l y to m en) w h o are u n a w a r e or the t r a d i t i o n s a nd h i s t o r i e s of o u r prim a l a n c e s t o r s . P e o p l e w h o in o ur c u l t u r e a re c a l l e d "Gay" h a d a v e r y i m p o r t a n t p l a c e in m a n y of t h o s e s o c i e t i e s a n d w e r e not l o o k e d u p o n w i t h d i s d a i n . T h e y w e r e held in h i g h e s t e e m b e c a u s e of t h e i r s p e c i a l p e r c e p t i o n s of t he w o r l d a r o u n d t h e m a n d the e x t r a d i m e n s i o n t h e r e b y g i v e n to the larger c o m m u n i t y ' s u n d e r s t a n d i n g of the u n i v e r s e , it w a s i n d i c a t i v e of a tale n t for c o m m u n i c a t i n g w i t h the spirit, w o r l d , a n d it w o u l d o f t e n be e x p e c t e d that s u c h p e o p l e w o u l d s t u d y to become tribal shamans. W o r k i n g w i t h s h a m a n i s m is g o i n g b a c k to t h o s e o r i g i n a l r o o t s ; w i t h s o m e t h i n g that g o e s d e e p l y b e n e a t h o u r o w n b e l i e f s y s tems. It s e e m s to i n t e r f a c e so b e a u t i f u l l y w i t h the R a d i c a l F a e r i e M o v e m e n t w h e r e we a re r e d i s c o v e r i n g an a n c i e n t i d e n t i t y for o u r s e l v e s a n d a s t r e n g t h that w a s a l w a y s there. W e ' r e r e - a w a k e n i n g the d e l i g h t or r e s p o n d i n g to the w o r l d in w a y s that s o c i e t y w o u l d not p e r m i t w h e n we w e r e y o u n g e r . L i v i n g at the S a n c t u a r y , a v e r y m a g i c a l place, e n a b l e s me to w o r k w i t h s h a m a n i s m in a m o r e d i r e c t w a y t h a n I c o u l d e v e r h ave i m a g i n e d b e f o r e . It's v e r y e x c i t i n g .

M i c h a l e : Blanche, w hy do yo u w o r k w i t h s h a m a n i s m , an d w h a t ' s the c o n n e c t i o n w i t h y o u r living at a F a e r i e s a n c t u a r y ?

Could you give

a definition

shamanism?

A,- S h a m a n i s m is a t e c h n i q u e of g o i n g into a different reality, a non-ordinary reality" (to q u o t e C a r l o s C a s t a n e d a ) to g l e a n k no wl e d g e and h e a l i n g m e t h o d s n o r m a l l y hidden from our o r d i n a r y r ea l i t y and per ceptions. It u s e s an a l t e r e d s t a t e of c o n s c i o u s n e s s , w i t h the m o s t u n i v e r s a l a n d s t a n d a r d v e h i c l e b e i n g the m o n o t o n o u s s o u n d of d r u m m i n g . A lso u s e d c an be r a t t l e s , c l i c k s t i c k s — whatever

— but it is u s u a l l y s o m e sor t of r h y t h m i c , m o n o t o n o u s s o u n d t h a t ' s used. A n d a n y b o d y can do it. M: M i g h t we call it a v e r y e s o t e r i c psychological investlaation?

f o r m ot

A : No. S h a m a n i s m d o e s not n e e d the infant s c i e n c e of p s y c h o l o g y , w i t h its q u e s t i o n a b l e t r a c k r e c o r d , to e x p l a i n or j u s t i f y its value. It h a s b e e n p r a c t i c e d t h r o u g h o u t the w o r l d for t e n s of m i l l e n i a . It c a n s t a n d on its o wn m e r i t . P s y c h o l o g y is a t o t a l l y d i f f e r e n t s y s t e m ot p r o b l e m s o l v i n g . I t h i n k it's w i s e not to c o n t u s e the two. M:

W h a t is the b a s i c c o n n e c t i o n shamanism and Faerie?

between

A : E a c h p e r s o n w h o w o u l d d e f i n e h i m s e l f as a Faerie might have a sl ightly different d e f i n i t i o n , but b a s i c a l l y it is an ant 1 a s s i m i lat l o m s t s t a n c e in life. It's our w h o l e p e r c e p t i o n of life t h a t ' s v e r y d i f f e r e n t , t h a t ' s v e r y F a e rie: a s e n s i t i v e , se n s u a l , b e a u t i f u l , g e n t l e , sexy, c a m p y a nd c a r i n g w a y of r e l a t i n g to e v e r y t h i n g i n c l u d i n g the E a r t h a nd its b e i n g s . We F a e r i e s t y p i c a l l y s ee the i n t e r - c o n n e c t e d n e s s of all t h i ngs. We a re e n v i r o n m e n t a l l y c o n s c i o u s , not so m u c h by logical r e a s o n i n g , as by h e a r t - f e l t e m p a t h y . C o n s e q u e n t l y . I w o u l d sa y the la r g e s t p r o p o r t i o n of us i d e n t i f y o u r s e l v e s as p a g a n s or n a t u r e people. We d e l i g h t in t he s t r e n g t h of w h o we are a n d in a c o n t i n u a l d i s c o v e r y of the E a r t h ' s m a g i c . T h i s is a l s o at t he h e a r t of shaman1 s m . M o s t G a y m e n t h a t I know, and a g o o d n u m b e r of G a y w o m e n — al though 1 come more into c o n t a c t w i t h G a y m e n — do have what I w o u l d c o n s i d e r a s t r o n g s h a m a n i c sense. But we h a v e l e a r n e d to r e p r e s s it . We g r o w up. we r e a l i z e we a re d i f f e r e n t , that our g e n d e r i n t e r a c t i o n w i t h the w o r l d is d i f f e r e n t . A n y t h i n g t h a t s e e m s d i f f e r e n t is not o n l y s u s p e c t in o u r s o c i e t y , but. it's a l s o s u s p e c t in o u r s e l v e s , a n d we learn to s u p p r e s s all t h o s e f e e lings. N o w s h a m a n i s m , m o r e s p e c i f i c a l l y " c o r e " s h a m a n i s m , w h i c h is w h a t 1 work with — is p r o b a b l y t he m o s t d i r e c t m e a n s of e x p l o r i n g t h o s e f e e l i n g s , t h o s e E a r t h c o n n e c t i o n s , a n d the h e a l i n g e n e r g y of b al a nc i ng w i t h E art h harmony. 1 see us s t a n d i n g out in g r e a t r e a l i t y a nd g r e a t r e l i e f a g a i n s t the r e s t of s o c i e t y . It's a m a z i n g that, a d i s p r o p o r t i o n a t e n u m b e r of G a y p e o p l e s e e m to be v e r y i n v o l v e d w i t h s h a m a n i s m , but o n a less a c a d e m i c level t h a n the a n t h r o p o l o g i s t s . We G a y s s e e m to have a s t r o n g p r o p e n s i t y for f e e l i n g it a n d d o i n g it. We a re t r u l y e x p e r i e n t i a l a d v e n t u r e r s .

C fje r fftjL

d C A s r v ffty '

F o r e x a m p l e , m u c h c a n be s a i d f or T h e W i z a r d of Oz a n d w h y so m a n y G a y p e o p l e r e l a t e to that s t o r y — a nd w e do, we t r u l y do — b e c a u s e it's a s h a m a n i c f a n tasy. But it's that k i n d of s e n s e of n o n - o r d i n a r y r e a l i t y a nd the w i l d a nd u n u s u a l t h i n g s that c a n h a p p e n t h e r e t h a t I t h i n k t o u c h e s us s o m e w h e r e d e e p l y , a n d we k n o w that s o m e h o w t h e r e is s o m e t r u t h to all of that. M:

You ment ioned explain.

.. .

sha manism.

Please

A : C o r e s h a m a n i s m is s h a m a n i s m d e v o i d of the c u l t u r a l s p e c i f i c s that c u s t o m a r i l y a c c o m p a n y its p r a c t i c e . It is the " b a r e - b o n e s " ot the shamanic technique. M:

Why do y o u want speclflcs ?

to a v o i d

cultural

A: P l e a s e u n d e r s t a n d that I h o p e to e n c o u r a g e a n d d e v e l o p "Gay" c u l t u r a l s p e c i f i c s in s h a m a n i c p r a c t i c e . A l t h o u g h m u c h c a n be l e a r n e d from, say, A u s t r a l i a n A b o r i g i n a l s h a m a n i s m , or H a w a i i a n K a h u n a , or h a k o t a S i o u x or S i b e r i a n s h a m a n i s m , 1 c a n n o t be a p a r t or p r o d u c t of t h o s e c u l t u r e s . T h e i r p r a c t i c e e v o l v e d w i t h t h e i r o w n p e o ple, on t h e i r land — a u n i f i e d o r g a n i s m of p e o p l e / l a n d / c u l t u r e / s h a m a n i s m . But if I use the u n i v e r s a l t e c h n i q u e ot a l t e r e d s t a t e c o n s c i o u s n e s s for g a t h e r i n g h i d d e n i n f o r m a t i o n for b a l a n c i n g , t h e n m y o w n c u l t u r a l e s s e n c e will h a v e a b l a n k c a n v a s u p o n w h i c h to p a i n t its m a s t e r p i e c e . M:

Then you approve Indian shamanism?

A b s o l u t e l y , but l e a r n i n g y o u r own.

learning

n e v e r at

American

the e x p e n s e

But it our c u l t u r e has no s h a m a n i c p r a c t i c e , h o w a n d f r o m w h o m d o we learn o ur own? A : By l e a r n i n g t he t e c h n i q u e of e n t e r i n g s p i r i t w o r l d a n d le t t i n g y o u r o w n spirit t e a c h e r s t e a c h you.

the

E a c h of m y g r a n d p a r e n t s is f r o m a d i f f e r e n t c o u n t r y , so h o w c o u l d I g o b a c k and r e c a p t u r e t r a d i t i o n ? W o u l d 1 h a v e to s e p a r a t e into four d i f f e r e n t p i e c e s ? O r m a y b e five b e c a u s e of m y G a y c u l t u r a l h e r i t a g e ? A : T h o s e are v e r y i n t e r e s t l h g q u e s t i o n s . Y o u w o u l d p r o b a b l y find for y o u r s e l f , as I did, that t h e r e is o n e p i e c e of y o u w i t h a p a r t i c u l a r t r a d i t i o n that for s o m e r e a s o n w a n t s to e x p r e s s itsell m o r e s t r o n g l y t h a n o t h e r s . P r o b a b l y if y o u w e n t b a c k to the n a t i v e land of that t r a d i t i o n , y o u w o u l d feel a nd find s o m e t h i n g v e r y s p e c i a l . But y o u m i g h t a l s o find a G a y h e r i t a g e w h i c h c o m p l e m e n t s or e v e n p r e c l u d e s an e t h n i c spiritual con nection. M:

-j-,p

" c ore"

In the w o r k s h o p , we " j o u r n e y e d " into the E a rth, the " l o w e r w o r l d " , to c o m m u n i c a t e w i t h a n imal s p i r i t s . S o m e of o u r r e a d e r s m i g h t find t h i s w e i r d a n d w a n t to k n o w the r e l a t i o n s h i p to s a t a m s m ?

/A.* Christian fundamentalists might call it satanism because it's connected with animal spirits and going to the "lower world". However, this is not the underworld of Dante, but the "lower world" of shamanic journeying. And there seem to be good and bad spirits dwelling there as well as in the "upper world". Christianity has polarized the upper and lower spirit worlds into good and evil, heaven and hell. It is not satanism because Satan is not acknowledged as an entity. Shamanism in general is a technique of going into this alternate reality to do good for the community or an individual.

shamanistic technique the tribal shaman would use and that I am working with. The trance state might be induced for a young man or woman going into puberty, going out to seek their vision on a vision quest and very often it is induced with starvation, lack of sleep, or even psycho-active drugs. It doesn't have to be that brutal, however. But that certainly is effective. Traditional Native Americans live with a sense of both realities at all times and feel comfortable communicating in both. It's our culture that has decided to separate the two and call non-ordinary reality insignificant and unrea1. Even Judeo-Christlanity, the basis of western culture and ethics, developed from the shamanic visions of the great prophets. Moses went to the mountain and Jesus to the wilderness for their visions. And somewhere a Native American boy is embarking on his vision quest. We can all be prophets and discover our own deep spiritual vision.

Do some people fear danger of being possessed by these animal spirits?

M :

A : At first, some do. But that usually clears up as they experience them. The animal spirits are there all the time for help and protection, whether or not you are conscious of them. To be possessed by them would be to give up control. Shamanism is a way of getting the very strongest control of your particular "non-ordinary reality". In fact, possession would be more likely if you're not working with shamanism to promote and nurture that protection and strength.

M: It seems to me that we are the uncivilized ones.

A: If we are going to use modern technology as the yardstick by which we measure civilization, then definitely the primitive peoples are uncivilized. However, if we are going to measure the health of this total world organism and all its entities including animals, trees and rocks, then without question we are the uncivilized and destructive ones. It really has to do with the way we measure, which is indicative of the bias of our culture.

M : Can you elaborate on "ordinary" and "non ordinary" realities. A ; Ordinary reality is what we live in everyday, when you stub your toe. when you make a good souffle, get a little drunk, goof on your taxes: that's ordinary reality. And of course, in primitive societies, ordinary reality would be such things as hunting, weaving baskets, etc. However, their ordinary reality wasn't devoid of spirit the way ours has become. But the spirit reality is considered by such people and myself to be a place of profound vision, insight and knowledge. This vision and knowledge, hidden from ordinary reality perceptions, can heal the soul and the body. What fascinates me and started me in intensive study and work, is the fact that shamanism is found literally all over the world. The universality of its practice indicates an obvious effectiveness. Survivalist peoples have no time to toy with systems and techniques that don't work.

M : Does shamanism have any relevance to those of us who are not of a heritage such as Native American?

A: Everyone of us comes from a shamanic background; anthropologists say that it seems all peoples on the face of the earth were shamanic at one time. In the western world it was wiped out by the Church. Probably all or our ancestors practiced shamanism. M : Then, primitive groups unaffected by modern technology are more aware of tne otnei reality and of the spirit world in their daily activities.

Then it is important to distinguish between the ordinary world and the spirit world?

A : Definitely. It is so vital to their existence. Their rood supply, their health and their death all need the help of the spirit world. And their trust in that helps to keep them closely connected to their environment and to each other.

/A.- Very much so — for those who do direct shamanic work, such as the professional shamans and the students I work with today. Too much "non-ordinary" reality can make one quite uncentered and unbalanced. But in the culture groups closer to nature, the general populace need not worry. These groups have their professional shaman or two — the ordinary people seem to have a connection with that non-ordinary reality in their everyday lives. They will talk to the deer spirit when they encounter a deer. They'll just talk and expect the spirit to hear; they won't necessarily go into a deep trance state which is the type of

M : Which would explain why they would get so upset when the whites came west and slaughtered buffalo for sport.

A: UmHmm., Well the whites didn't always slaughter them tor sport, but they certainly slaughtered them without any great concern for their continuance. That has to do with the respect for the animai spirits. When an Indian would kill the animal, he would say prayers to the animal's spirit — lr it were a buffalo, he would say prayers to thank the 42

b u f f a l o sp i r i t . A nd he w o u l d w a s t e n o t h i n g ; that w o u l d be d i s h o n o r i n g the a n i m a l ' s spirit. He w o u l d p r a y to th e s p i r i t to k e e p the a n i m a l s c o m i n g ror the p e o p l e ' s sustenance. N o r w o u l d t h e y t h i n k ot c a s u a l l y c h o p p i n g d o w n a l i v i n g tree. T r a d i t i o n a l I n d i a n v a l u e s i n s p i r e the u s e ot d e a d t r e e s b e c a u s e s o m e t h i n g t h a t ' s l i v i n g is to be a c c o r d e d as m u c h r e s p e c t by y o u as y o u e x p e c t f r o m i t . And in m a n y or t h e s e s o c i e t i e s it w a s c o n s i d e r e d that h u m a n s w e r e t h e low b e i n g s on the list or b e i n g s — the b i rds, an i m a l s , r ock s p i r i t s , t r e e s p i r i t s , a n d s o forth, b e i n g higher e v o l u t i o n a r y b e i n g s — a n d that, I know, is v e r y h a r d for o u r c u l t u r e to fat horn. But i m u s t s a y h e r e that it's e a s y to r o m a n t i c i z e the N a t i v e A m e r i c a n N ot all h a d the ''traditional" v a l u e s I 'm s p e a k i n g ot . But 1 reel that t h o s e v a l u e s a re v i t a l to our c o n t i n u a n c e as a s p e c i e s — a nd b a y s c a n be p r i m e m o v e r s and e x a m p l e s m that d i r e c t i o n . M : ban y o u talk about W:»srei u cu 11 ui e .

s h a m a n i s m ’s d e m i s e

S h a m a n i s m is m o r e p e r v a s i v e in o u r a n c e s t r a l h i s t o r y t h a n c h a n n e l l i n g . It ia d o n e by m o r e c u l t u r e s a n d d o n e w i t h m o r »• s u c c e s s for h e a l i n g , etc. It is the flip s i d e in that the s h a m a n g o e s into the s p i r i t s r e a l i t y , i n s t e a d ot the spirit e n t i t y coming into ours. So the c o m m u n i c a t i o n is d i f f e r e n t . T h e s h a m a n m u s t d i s c r i m i n a t e and is a w a r e or w h o t h e s e e n t i t i e s a re a n d h o w they present t h e m s e l v e s , a n d c a n m a k e on the spot v a l u e j u d g m e n t s as to t h e i r v a l i d i t y w i t h o u t b e i n g a w e d in o r d i n a r y r e a l l t y by t h e n m a s s appeal or p r e s e n c e t he s h a m a n is act. ua t ly in m u c h g r e a t e r c o n t r o l u s i n g the s t a n d a r d t e c h n i q u e s ot s h a m a n i s m a n d < vines b a c k w i t h h i d d e n i n f o r m a t i o n t rom the spirit world.

>4: In W e s t e r n c u l t u r e s h a m a n s h a v e b e e n completely o b l ite ra ted — murdered — at first by the R o m a n e m p i r e , t h e n by Christians. Shamans — p e o p l e w h o a re out t h ere f i n d i n g t h e i r c w n s p i r i t u a l s u s t e n a n c e , finding t heir o wn spirit t e a c h e r s and b e c o m i n g t he p r o p h e t s for t h e i r c o m m u n i t i e s - are a l w a y s a t h r e a t to a n y k i n d ot organized political structure, whether i t s r e l i g i o u s l y b a s e d or not, a n d m o s t p o l i t i c a l s t r u c t u r e s h a v e a l w a y s h ad a r e l i g i o u s base. T h e C h u r c h a s s u m e d the m o n o p o l y o n h e a l i n g , m a k i n g its p r i e s t s (males only) int o instant doctors. S h a m a n i c w a s q u i e t l y c a r r i e d on by women, e s p e c i a l l y m i d w i v e s — and we know wha t h a p p e n e d to them. M:

M: What sort >,t Bidden intormat ton' A: H i d d e n i n f o r m a t i o n 'h<Jt will h e l p an i n d i v i d u a l or a c o m m u n i t y t<* b a l a n c e — and " b a l a n c e " is p r o b a b l y the k e y w o r d w i t h s h a m a n i s m , it y o u a re hungry, t h e n g e t t i n g fed is a b a l a n c i n g . S h a m a n i s m has b e e n u sed to rind out w h e r e h e r d s oi a n i m a l s are t<.r food, and to fin d what p a r t i c u l a r p l a n t s ca n he u s e d as r e m e d i e s lor p a r t i c u l a r p r o b l e m s , to n a m e but a tew of its p u r p o s e s T h e r e micrht he a s p e c i f i c s o l u t i o n r e v e a l e d to an i n d i v i d u a l ’s p r o b l e m that will be v e r y h e a l i n g , but w o u l d not h a v e the s a m e el feet on a d i f f e r e n t i n d i v i d u a l w i t h the s a m e problem. W h y that is. 1 d o n ' t know. (■Science w o u l d not he a b l e to e x p l a i n it. Vet that, p e r s o n r e s p o n d s to s o m e t h i n g that we w o u l d c o n s i d e r r e a l l y b i z arre, a nd h e a l i n g t a k e s place.

T h e witch-hunts';!

A : E x a c t l y . T h a t w a s the last v e s t i g e ot s h a m a n i s m in o u r c u l t u r e . W e ' r e t r y i n g to r e c a p t u r e s h a m a n i c p r a c t i c e s w i t h o n l y a few g u i d e p o s t s to help. M: Is t r a n c e shamanism?

channelling

>4 .• In o ne s e n s e it is. B o t h c h a n n e l l i n g and s h a m a n i c j o u r n e y i n g c o n n e c t w i t h spirit, beings. T h e d i f f e r e n c e is in the a b i l i t y to d i s c r i m i n a t e a n d r e m a i n in c o n t r o l . C h a n n e 1 1 ing is like the flip s i d e of s h a m a n i s m , in t h a t a s p i r i t e n t i t y f r o m n o n o r d i n a r y r e a l i t y (very o f t e n s o m e o n e w h o has d i e d or n e v e r lived) c o m e s t h r o u g h a nd s p e a k s in o u r o r d i n a r y r e a l i t y t h r o u g h the c h a n n e l l e r . T h e c h a n n e l l e r is t o t a l l y u n c o n s c i o u s in m o s t c a s e s a n d h a s no m e m o r y of w h a t h a p p e n e d w h e n the e v e n t is over. A n d it c o u l d be H i t l e r c o m i n g t h r o u g h , u s i n g a B i b l i c a l name, a n d s a y i n g that he is s o m e g r e a t p r o p h e t . A n d h 6 w w o u l d we k n o w any b e t t e r ? In tact if H i t l e r is h a n g i n g a r o u n d in n o n - o r d i n a r y r e a l i t y , it's p r o b a b l y e x a c t l y t he k i n d of t h i n g he w o u l d w a n t to do. So I a l w a y s feel v e r y s u s p e c t of c h a n n e l l i n g ' s valu e .

So what he a i i no ?

is t he

shamanic

d e f i n i t i o n ot

A g a i n ba l a n c e , a l w a y s b a l a n c e — b a l ance is h a r m o n y but it a l s o m e a n s that p e o p l e m u s t die. That is a b a l a n c e in i t s e i t . Ihe idea is not to k e e p s o m e b o d y f r o m d e a t h n e c e s s a r i l y , but to put t h e m in b a l a n c e . And if the g r e a t e s t b a l a n c e im-ans that an i n d i v i d u a l must live — that's great But n he must die, as ail p e o p l e m u s t , t h e n s h a m a n has the d u t y o f m a k i n g s u r e that the d e a t h is t he best p o s s i b l e d e a t h that c a n be for that pe r s o n , i n c l u d i n g e s c o r t i n g h i m to "the land o f tn e d e a d . " That is a n o t h e r s h a m a n i c duty. A:

So what can we do within the Faerie community or the Gay community?

is a t e c h n i q u e to s o l v e p r o b l e m s m o s t s p e c i f i c a l l y of t he c o m m u n i t y , a n d t h e r e is d e f i n i t e l y a p h i l o s o p h y that i s s u e s f r o m its practice. I ’d like to r e l a t e an o b s e r v a t i o n . R e c e n t l y , w h i l e w a t c h i n g a p a i r of m a r t i n s (birds) f l y i n g a c r o b a t i c a l l y w i t h the m o s t i n c r e d i b l e p r e c i s i o n , I b e g a n to w o n d e r " w h o ' s l e a d i n g a n d w h o ' s f o l l o w i n g ? " It s u d d e n l y c a l l e d to m i n d large s c h o o l s of fishes where thousands move spont an eo usl y w i t h the s a m e u n c a n n y p r e c i s i o n , o b v i o u s l y all of the s a m e s y n c h r o n o u s i n s t i n c t . Do y o u g e t w h a t I'm d r i v i n g at?

A Well 1 t h i n k the F a e r i e c o m m u n i t y has p r o b a b l y the m o s t p o t e n t i a l of a n y g r o u p to h e l p the s o c i e t y at large, the w h o l e of s o c i e t y . It m a y t a k e s o m e t i m e for G a y w o m e n a n d m e n to c o m e to tha t a w a r e n e s s — it's p r o b a b l y g o i n g to t a k e an e v e n l o n q e r time for s t r a i g h t s o c i e t y to c o m e to that a w a r e n e s s . But we G a y s d o h a v e s o m e sort of c u l t u r a l g l u e tha t b i n d s us. And I w a n t to tell a q u i c k l i t t l e story, b e c a u s e it hit m e k i n d of t u n n y w h e n s o m e b o d y s a i d we h a v e a c u l t u r a l h e r i t a g e a n d a c u l t u r a l c o n n e c t i o n . 1 th o u g h t , "Weil, w a i t a second, c ult u re m e a n s y o u r neighbors, r e l a t i v e s , y o u r a n c e s t o r s , etc. My p a r e n t s w e r e n ' t Gay, so h o w ca n it be a c u l t u r a l t h i n g ? ” A nd just g o i n g t h r o u g h that t h o u g h t p r o c e s s , it f i n a l l y hit me tha t I a m t h e ’ e x p r e s s i o n , the a l t e r n a t e , the wild, the F a e r i e e x p r e s s i o n of s o m e t h i n g t h a t t h e y c o u l d n e v e r be. It d i d n ' t s u i t t h e i r lifestyle — t h e i r f r ame of r e f e r e n c e for th e u n i v e r s e , but still it's in a p art of e v e r y b o d y . F a e r i e s ar e f r i g h t e n i n g to s t r a i g h t s a n d m a i n s t r e a m G a y s b e c a u s e the y t h r e a t e n a s s i m i l a t i o n . " F a e r i e " d o e s not s e e k assimilation.- it s e e k s s e l f - i d e n t i f i c a t i o n a nd s e l f - d i s c o v e r y , a nd a s s i m i l a t i o n is c o n t r a r y to that.

I t h i n k so. A s i n g u l a r , collective consciousness?

unified

A : P r e c i s e l y . M y t h o u g h t s w e r e t h e n d r a w n to a s p e c i e s of ant that, for the b e n e f i t of the co l o n y , w ill kill h u n d r e d s of w i l l i n g c o l o n y m e m b e r s to m a k e b u i l d i n g m a t e r i a l ( f rom the d e a d bo d i e s ) for a b r i d g e to c r o s s an o t h e r w i s e i m p a s s a b l e r a v ine. In o u r c u l t u r e w e v e n e r a t e total s e l f s u f f i c i e n c y . T h e trib a l 1 n t e r - d e p e n d e n c e a n d m a g i c ar e gone. We c o n s t a n t l y s e e k to u n d e r s t a n d o u r s e l v e s as i s o l a t e d e n t i t i e s . We g e t a p s y c h o t h e r a p i s t to tell us w h y we t h i n k the w a y we t h i n k a n d w h y e v e r y t h i n g h a p p e n s to us the w a y it d o e s a nd h o w to m a k e c h a n g e s w i t h that. We m a k e o u r i n s t i n c t s a n d o u r spirit — our hearts — an a c a d e m i c e x e r c i s e . We w i n d up b e i n g so m y o p i c , not b e i n g a b l e to s ee b e y o n d o u r o w n s e l f - i n t e r e s t s , so c o m p l e t e l y a l i e n a t e d f r o m o u r s e n s e of tribal r e s p o n s i b i l i t y . We d o not s ee o u r s e l v e s as an integ r a l p art of the c o m m u n i t y w h e r e the w e l f a r e of th e c o m m u n i t y t a k e s p r e c e d e n c e o v e r that of the i n d i v i d u a l as is the c ase w i t h a l m o s t all n a t u r e p e o p l e s .

M: T h i s might be off the t r a c k of F a e r i e s h a m a n i s m , but d o y o u t h i n k the A I D S c r i s i s has had a p o s i t i v e e f f e c t o n t h e c o m m u n i t y ? A : Wow! I'm g l a d y o u a s k e d that. T h a t ' s not r e a l l y off the t r a c k at all. It h a s d e f i n i t e l y h ad a p o s i t i v e e f f e c t . M o s t p e o p l e s ay it's o n e big n e g a t i v e , but I d o n ' t agree. I s ee p e o p l e s e a i c h i n g , t u r n i n g to a l t e r n a t i v e c o n c e p t s of h e a l i n g ; not just a l t e r n a t i v e m e t h o d s but a l t e r n a t i v e d e f i n i t i o n s . P e o p l e s e a r c h i n g d e e p insi d e a nd b e y o n d t h e m s e l v e s , r e a c h i n g o ut for others,f i n d i n g what I t h i n k is p r o b a b l y t he g r e a t e s t e s s e n c e of F a e r i e — strength and gentleness.

M : So in o t h e r w o r d s , A I D S d e ve lo pin g a Gay tribe?

is sor t

A : r t h i n k v e r y m u c h so — not t hat t h e r e w a s n ' t a G a y t r i b e be f o r e , but it's f i n a l l y b e g i n n i n g to e x p l o r e the d e p t h s of its r e a l i t y a n d b e a u t y as o p p o s e d to m o r e sup er fi ci al tim es w h e n those d e pt hs were s e l d o m felt a n d n e v e r v o i ced. N o w if I c o u l d p r o j e c t m y s e l f a h u n d r e d y e a r s into the f u t u r e ( a l t h o u g h t h e r e m a y not be a n y Earth, t h e r e m a y p o s s i b l y be E a r t h and p e o p l e but no AIDS ) , I w o u l d h a v e to s a y the A I D S c r i s i s w a s s o m e t h i n g that m a d e G a y p e o p l e s u d d e n l y a w a r e of t h e i r o w n inner s t r e n g t h s , the n e e d to s e a r c h t h e i r o w n v a l u e s , g a v e t h e m an o p p o r t u n i t y to s t a n d p o w e r f u l l y in the w o r l d a n d not o n l y d e m a n d t h e i r r i g h t s a n d needs, but a l s o find a v e n u e s for g i v i n g t h e i r g o o d s , t h e i r s p e c i a l t a l e n t s a n d i n s i g h t s to t he larger c o m m u n i t y . If we h a v e a b r i d g e of d e a d b o d i e s , t h e n w h a t is the r a v i n e we ar e c r o s s i n g — whats on the o t h e r s i d e ? Of c o urse, m a n y of us m u s t m o urn, but e v e n t u a l l y we m u s t c r o s s the b r i d g e if we i n t e n d to r e m a i n m e m b e r s of the tribe. C e r t a i n N a t i v e A m e r i c a n g r o u p s s a y that they pierce the ir flesh d ur i n g some c e r e m o n i e s "so t h a t t h e i r p e o p l e m a y live". T h e y g o t h r o u g h s e l f - i n f l i c t e d p a i n ' s o that

I still d o n ' t q u i t e u n d e r s t a n d h o w is all this p a i n a nd s u f f e r i n g e q u a t e to s o m e t h i n g p o s i t i v e ? D o e s it h a v e to be tha t w a y ?

^ •' T h i s is p r o b a b l y the h a r d e s t t h i n g for a ny of us to u n d e r s t a n d . T h i s is w h e r e I see another connect ion with shamanism. S ha ma ni sm

I take myself as an example of that. I was tested HIV anti-body positive which made me look deeply into my reasons for living. I left New York City, a very high-pressured corporate job and lifestyle to live here at a Faerie sanctuary; to do the shamanic work that I had very little time and energy to really do the way I wanted to in New York. I had no idea how powerfully fulfilling the experience of living here and doing such work was going to be. If 1 could change the test to "negative" by returning to my old highpressured, meaningless, futile existence, there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind — I would choose my new life: Short Mountain, shamarnstic work and tested "positive." My life can end tomorrow with a sense of meaning and fulfillment. So to be healed does not: mean that a positive test result is changed to negative?... or that all AIDS opportunistic infections are gone?

their people may live. Only recently have 1 begun to understand that. What is hurting ourselves going to do so that our people may live?

A : No. That's the accepted view ol healing. But from the shamanic perspective, great healing has taken place for me. Great, great hea 1lrig because there is harmony and balance lri my 11 1e .

Then shamanism is something more than another New Age lad? M:

It is, in a way, deeply acknowledging "My Individual pain is less important than the welfare of my community. The good of the community comes first, the good of the individual is secondary". There is something to be said for the mental and emotional impression that is made by equating physical pain (especially if self-inflicted) with a concept like this, which is the way modern reasoning might explain the dynamic of this Indian practice. A:

I guess that in our society that would sound totally insane.

A : But look at. what's actually happening. On an individual level it's very hard to see things that way when people are dying — if you, your lover or a friend has AIDS. But when it comes to the Gay community, look at the wonders it has done — how much strength Gay people have found that they truly do have inside, how much love they have inside, how they are able to express that and put it into action. And those actions have something magnificent to teach straight society. One day they may be willing to learn from us. But, until then, we must keep developing our value no matter how blind they may be.

A : Yes. It’s a very ancient art. We do know enough from cultures that still practice it to have guidelines to work with, thouqh the New Age Movement has given it an arena in which to re-awaken. Most people who start to work with shamanism sense that it is touching something ancestrally deep. And I think Gay people have an opportunity -- but we must sei^e it — the opportunity to set the stage for future generations of Gays so that we rnay b e n o t only totally valid members of t h e larger society, but with very special offerings. And those things will be the storytelling, the myth-making, the teaching, and the healing of our t r i b e s and our Earth — "so that our people may live".

BEST EVER! Third Edition! l$ e

So harmony and balancing is the most important goal of shamanistic healing.

A : And not necessarily getting rid of what we consider to be an intrusive virus. A virus is an entity as well, and shamanism would have an individual or a community of people balancing themselves with that entity. If it means that the entity must leave, then that is balancing. If it meanfs that the individual must learn to live in balance with that entity, letting it remain in the body, then that also is balancing and very healing.

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OUT *>w ,W t

Hey, Ya'llI Welcome back to Rocky Top Farm here in the Ozark hills.

Mountain Boy and I are always proud to receive guests; so ya'll come on out to the fence rail and let's jaw awhile. You'll have to excuse my partner, Mountain Boy," for not joinin' us. He's been workin' all week in our rose garden. He raises some of the most prized roses in the county, ya know. He's forever a prunin' and mulchin* or some sorta somethin'. Why just the other day, he even let me in on one of his most top secret rose care tips. Did you know that a plain red rose can be transformed into a deep blood-red beauty by just one simple step? Sure enough! All ya gotta do is collect some metal shavings (the tiny gravel type) from a sheet metal factory or anywhere that they cut sheet metal. Just sprinkle them shavings on the ground right up next to the rose bush stalk and leave 'em there. Watering thru them shavings all the time will deepÂ en the red color of your roses beyond imaginin'. I ain't" joshin'; try it fer yourself. Mountain Boy swears by it; and he's got the roses to prove it. There ain't no feeling like cornin' in from a long day in the field to be greeted by the sweet scent of all them beautiful flowers I But here I am a reminiscing; and I bet ya'll came out today for the tour of Eureka Springs that we promised on your last jaunt through these parts. Well, hell fire I Let's git gathered up and be a goin' It's only about an hour ride up the mountains from here; but there's so much to see, we'll need plenty of tourin' time. While we're gone, ole Mountain Boy is gonna whip up a batch of Clinch Mountain Vinegar Pies for us. So ya'll set yourself on havin' some good eatin' when we git back to Rocky Top! Turn up that Country music, boys; we're on the road again I Centuries ago, the Osage Indians related to early pioneers stories of a wonderful spring where waters flowed into a basin-shaped cavity of rock, high in the mountains of their favorite hunting grounds now known as Carroll County in Arkansas. Hundreds from the Osage tribe traveled from prairie homes, miles away; just to find this spring every year. Descriptions handed down through many generations fit perfectly the spring situated in what now is the historic district of Eureka Springs Arkansas. During the pioneer years, a doctor named Alvah Jackson found the spring and settled nearby to open his medical practice. He was convinced of the "medical virtues of the water"; so he bottled it and carried it across the country as a treatment for all types of ailments. It was even used to treat battle wounds during the Civil War. As his news of miraculous waters spread, settlers began to arrive in the hills in droves. Almost all of them were either an invalid or caring for one; so they all eagerly camped in an area that became known as The Basin. On July 4, 1879, they all gathered at the spring to witness healing and named the new community they were building. Because of their long, hard search for the area; the town was named Eureka Springs for "Eurekal I found it!" By the spring of 1880, Eureka Springs had a population of over 5,000. The unbelievable Victorian homes that still are plentiful today began springing up all through the community. By 1883, the railroad finally snaked its way through the hills to bring permanence and comÂ munication to the town. Businesses sprang up to make the town a nationally known health spa for the ill and resort for the weary. Cable and trolley cars were installed as local 46

For the young at heart, there's the Land of Kong Dinosaur Park. Sixty five acres of land has been returned to the way it appeared over 290,000 years ago. Over 100 repplicas of reptiles who lived in the area at the time are sta tioned throughout this drive-thru park. It's an actual step into history and a photographers dream come true.

transportation and the city dove into prosperity. Other medical treatments soon replaced interest in the waters, but tourism continued to boom in this unbeliev ably natural community. The entire community is built like stair steps literally cling ing to the side of the mountain. No two streets in Eureka Springs meet at right angles. Hundreds of feet sepa rate the highest street from the lowest. Even today; the town has no stop or traffic lights, and there's even a Catholic Church where the en trance is located at the top of the bell tower!

Then there's Quigleys Castle, War Eagle Mill, Thorncrown (All Glass) Chapel in the Pines, War Eagle Cave, Queen Anne Mansion, Wings Victorian Home & Aviariums, Eureka Springs/North Arkansas Railway, Blue Springs Nature Park, Carry Nation's home, Cosmic Cavern, Pivot Rock & Natural Bridge, --- the list just goes on and on. In the midst of all this, our gay sisters and brothers find themselves right at home.

When the Great Depression of the 1930's hit, the town's tourist in come failed. But the community was quickly converted to an artists col ony which still surives today. Wri ters, musicians, poets, and painters flock to the Ozark Mountains for the simple living to practice their craft. History is alive forever in this "City That Water Built". There are tours of the breathtaking homes and guesthouses; trolley car bus tours of the unique city structure; plus craft and spe cialty shops to match every possible interest. Now; besides the hundreds of quaint shops, galleries, music shows, and historic sites throughout Eureka Springs -- there's a touch of excitement for every visitor built right into this natural mountain area. Lake Table Rock is just north of town and it's home to both Holiday Island and Table Rock Resorts. Just east of the city limits is the home of the Great Passion Play; where live actors relive the story of Christ in an enormous outdoor ampitheater production. The theatre compound also includes the Bible Museum; a live recreation of the Holy Land; souvenier shops; and the Christ of the Ozarks Statue. This mighty artwork giant stands on top of the mountain overlooking Eureka Springs. It's four—stories tall and it's outstretch ed arms span beyond the length of two tour buses parked end to end. Each hand is large enough to hold an automobile. For the spelunking crowd, there's Onyx Cave Park. This cave is Eureka Springs oldest attraction and a self-guided tour is a MUSi when you're in the area. It's called a "living cave" because it's still growing and changing even though it's hundreds of years old.

Accommodations are plentiful every where; but the Greenwood Hollow Ridge Guesthouse is nationally known for its special attention to visiting gay and Lesbian clients. While touring the streets of downtown Eureka Springs, an "absolute must" is dining at the Center Street Cafe. It's gay owned and operated serving the very best in dining variety. Sunday evening, MCC of the Living Springs hosts Worship Services for the Christian Gay Community. Exciting evenings are spent with drinks and dancing at the Center Street Cafe. Wow!

Now that's living!

With all these tours and walking these wind ing streets, I'm gettin' sorta hungry. How 'bout we all head back to Rocky Top and have some of Mountain Boys famous Vinegar Pie and some fresh ground coffee. Ya'll sit yerself fer a spell while we have a bite of this beautiful country treat. It makes a perfict desert after a big country style meal of fri catfish and hush puppies. Hey, that's a great idea! Ya'll come back to see us this spring so Mountain Boy and I can take ya'll out catfishin'I There's lots of places for us to try our luck and we'll hit 'em all on your next visit. Now that we're all full up on this good country cookin', ya'll have a safe trip back home so as to be able to come back this spring with yer fishin' poles. In the meantime; ya'll take care, play safe, and don't let the coals die in the campfire.

sacraments. I partook and went to the main circle for the noon event. I joined the gxyantic circle that had formed on the penin sula, the air reverberating with O M . The circle condensed toward the center and we sung "Give Peace a Chance." I exchanged smiles with the tall naked wild man on my left. The black woman on my right had a crystal cluster balanced on her head which she transferred to me, all the while belting our soulful harmonies. A focalizer (there are no "leaders" in Rainbow) made some an nouncements about No Guns, the woman who was run over by a jeep (driven by the son of the man who has the grazing rights in that part of the forest) . We sent No Guns healing energy. Conga drums were brought in and drumming and chanting began. The mushroom spirit brought me beautiful, colorful, crys talline visions in great variety. I ex changed hugs with Danny from Whole Foods, in one of his wild and colorful drags as usual. Watermelons were brought to the outside of the circle. I've never enjoyed watermelon so much, and even ate the rind. More wild and frenzied dancing and chanting. We chanted "Rainboooooow, Rainbow Ja" to the throbbing drums. People were dressed in great variety, nude, or covered with mud. Eventually I wandered back to the Faerie camp, passing a chanting group huddled around a squatting woman holding a crystal. Many beautiful, beautiful people. I sat around the camp with other faeries. I think all of us were trip ping. There was lots of silliness. I wan dered back to the pickup to grab some food and camping gear, and coming back I hitched a ride on the back of a truck and set up my hammock and tarp in the Faerie camp. There was a lot of good music in the neighboring camp, where they periodically shouted "Tea Time" at all hours of the day or night (won derful herbal teas) . All music was live at the gathering. No recordings. Everyone was all the way live. No tourists. I wrote down some contacts for a woman's coming out gay friend. Our Faerie Light Show began at dark. Glow sticks of many colors were strung on ropes and swung around by several of us in circular patterns, which were very striking in the darkness, while the rest of us played music--an Irish sort of tune on tin whistle, drum, tambourine, and rattle. We made our way along the lakeshore throughout the camp. We were a big hit, and brought shouts and screams of delight from all around. I left the light show as we came to the main circle area. An enormous fire was casting an eerie and compelling glow on the group around it. Sparks flew, and the insistent, throbbing conga drums make everyone move and dance. Then it was back to camp for a p e a ce f u l sleep, even though the drums continued all night.

ONE FAERIE'S EXPERIENCE OF THE '88 RAINBOW GATHERING, ANGELINA NATIONAL FOREST, TEXAS by Hyperion Sunday morning, July 3.... Approaching the Caney Creek encampment area, at a fork in the road I noticed some obvious Rainbow people, and nearby a squadron of law enforcement vehicles. I stopped and greeted the Rainbow folks and someone directed me down the road to the welcoming committee. A friendly lady handed me an "Always Free" paper and directed me to a parking area down the road. I parked and walked the long dis tance down the road to the main campsite. Lots of uptight law enforcement officers and television news teams were rushing around and stationed at the crossroads. My first im pression was that of an impending confronta tion. Then someone shouted that an ambulance would be coming through soon. Staying to the side of the road, as I walked into the camp ground I was overwhelmed by a multitude of campsites set up in the forest around the lake, and throngs of beautiful people min gling among the trees and around the informa tion and "rumor control" booth. I soon learned that the commotion was about a woman who had been run over by a vehicle. I wan dered around until dark, and then went back to sleep in my pickup where it was parked. The people across from me had set up house keeping in a marvelous old VW bus. The next morning I walked to camp again. All was quiet and peaceful. A yogi chanted in the forest across one arm of the lake. Ibises waded in the shallow water looking for crayfish. A few people here and there in the water quietly enjoyed the morning. Around a bend I reached the Radical Faerie camp. A big banner was strung between trees. Parabacchus from Chicago (and everywhere) was the only one I recognized, and I ran to greet him, but soon met others, mostly from San Francisco, one from Panama, three guys and a lady from Austin, two guys from Houston, another from Chicago, and Walton from Short Mountain Sanctuary in Tennessee. One of the San Francisco faeries passed around some

I awoke late the next morning. It began to rain as we sat around Parabacchus' campsite (a colorful sight with several different fabrics hung from the trees) talking and eating. Many people stopped at our fire to visit, as they did throughout the gathering. It was such a nice feeling to have such total acceptance. A lovely woman started singing 48

and there was much sharing. One man talked with some of us about coming to terms with his sexuality. I later saw him in the mud getting in touch with his sensuality even more. A beautiful, strong, naked wild man with long hair and beard brought us more logs from the forest for our fire. When the rain stopped I went for a walk to one end of the camp, passed a marvelous Gypsy wagon and entered the sweat lodge which was set up as silent vigil for world peace. The caretaker of the lodge reclined opposite the door. After a woman entered and took her seat oppo site the fire from me, the caretaker added more wood to the fire, reclined again, align ing himself with a giant crystal pointed toward the fire as we meditated. A very powerful meditation as I breathed and as energy was focused from Earth through us, through the crystal, up and out, purified by Father Sky, pouring blessings upon the Earth, and down again, being purified by Mother Earth, and up again. I left the lodge, stopped at the drumming tent, played with a pet python, drummed for a while with two brothers, and then went to the lakeshore to wallow in the mud. C o ve r ed with mud, I walked to the other end of the camp and lay down on a wide, quiet expanse of grass by the lake to dry. An enormous Swallowtail butter fly floated by. A couple under a clump of trees nearby were doing a Japanese tea cere mony. A very peaceful place. I bathed in the lake after the mud had dried, and felt totally cleansed. Walking back to the Faerie camp I passed an African (or Afro-American) in long brown robes singing and sending his prayers out over the water in a strange tongue. Parabacchus, Walton, and I decided to head for the Vegetarian kitchen for sup per, taking a trail through the forest marked by yellow ribbons. The forest was intensely quiet, but soon we heard soft music drifting through the trees, and coming upon the kit chen, we were served a d e l i g h t f u l meal. Lying on Parabacchus' rainbow cloth, we re laxed for a while by the lake listening to the ethereal sounds of the glass xylophone. A yogi slowly exercised by the water, and I investigated a mud oven on the bank. We went back to our camp as darkness came, and to another peaceful night's sleep.

joined the drumming circle around the main fire pit for the rest of the morning. A nude man came to join us and jumped on a small trampoline in time with the drums, twirling sticks in each hand. Another ran out of the trees and danced in big circles around us for a while in a trance, then pulled of his elab orately tie-died clothes, drew ritual designs in the mud by the fire, drew designs on him self with charcoal from the fire pit, and sat transfixed in prayer. A beautiful Spanish woman ran to him, drew a large triangle on the ground with a stick behind him, and di rected energy through him and up the smoke into the sky. The rain began again, first softly, then heavier, so it was back to Faerie camp, where I met someone that I sat next to on Sunday at the main circle. We were both tripping and I had borrowed his tambourine. His name was Rob. He gave me some beautiful parrot feathers and fastened them to my drawstring pants with a red rib bon. As we talked, someone else came by with a box of trading goods. I traded some soy milk for 3 shark's teeth. The rain abated. Admiring the vulture feathers on the shrine in front of Parabacchus' tent (which evolved from a stump that people were tripping over), Rob and I agreed to go look for the carcass, which was supposed to be in the forest near by. We talked of many things, but didn't find the vulture. Rob had to go to town to make a telephone call, so I agreed to go with him. We gave a girl a lift to her car who was also going to call to tell her mother that she was running away to Montana with her new lover. R e tu rn in g to camp after our little expedition, the rain began to fall again. As we neared the lake, it looked just like the ocean. Rob ran to the water to take a swim. I coaxed him not to go in the water with so much lightning around, so he just took a shower in the rain. I went to my hammock to take a nap, but was awakened by shouts and screams, so rushed out to the lakeshore to see what was happening. Every one seemed to be on the shore. The rain had stopped, and a magnificent rainbow arched across the sky, touching down at a nearby island in the lake. We were all overwhelmed, and since it was time for me to go, I said my goodbyes and departed.

The next morning the drums had an especially magnetic pull, and I went to join them. The sweat lodge caretaker was leading the drum ming, nude except for a sash around his waist, and his long golden hair and beard swayed with the beat of the conga he played. I stayed for a long time, and then went look ing for the gay Buddhist camp that was posted on the map. I didn't find the gay Buddhists (perhaps it was only one looking for others) but found a wonderful sandy beach covered with tiny mussel shells on the other side of the peninsula where a few people were swim ming. The entire Rainbow camp must have occupied at least two miles of forest edge along the lake, and this beach was on one end. Hiking back to "downtown," I checked out the trading tree, under which all sorts of jewelry, crystals and stones, and assorted handmade objects were being bartered. I

There were so many things I missed: the Reg gae groups (many beautiful Rastafarians), the Gypsy Theatre, Parabacchus' puppet show, the Dances of Universal Peace (don't know how I missed that), the emotional healing circles, the pipe ceremonies, and I only sat in on one council meeting (where consensus rules), and many other things, but it was a very full and meaningful experience. The forest law en forcement officials filmed everyone coming or going from the gathering, making us feel like animals in a safari park with their general free run of the place, and television news teams and the highway patrol were often pres ent, but with all of the love from when I first set foot in the camp, the group shouts of "I love you" echoing from one end of the camp to the other throughout the gathering, all of the smiles and bliss, and signs "Wel come Home," I indeed felt T was leaving home

Snap off tough ends of asparagus. Remove the scales from stalks with a knife or vegetable peeler, if desired. Steam the spears for a few minutes until crisp tender. Remove the spears from steamer and arrange in a lightly greased 2 -quart casserole. Melt butter in a saucepan; add mushrooms, and saute 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the next 3 ingredients and simmer about 10 minutes. Spoon sauce over asparagus and top with the parmesan cheese. Broil 2 to 3 inches from heat for 3 minutes or til the cheese is a light golden brown. Yield: 8 servings MARINATED ASPARAGUS 1 lb. fresh asparagus spears 3 Tbsp. vinegar !* c. vegetable oil H tsp. sea salt H tsp. pepper (fresh ground preferably) 2 Tbsp. diced pimiento 1 Tbsp. dried parsley flakes fresh leaf lettuce Snap off tough ends of asparagus. Remove the scales with a knife or vegetable peeler, if desired. Steam the spears for a few minutes until crisp tender. Place the cooked spears in a flat bowl or serving dish. Combine next 6 ingredients and pour over the asparagus spears. Marinate overnight. Serve on salad plates on a bed of fresh leaf letuce. Yield: 4 servings.

Greetings, Well, I hope all of you made it through the winter alright. Now that spring is here, I hope all of you have your gardens planted or at least have them ready to plant, depend ing on what part of the country you live in. To me, one of the great joys of spring is fresh asparagus from the garden. This ti«e I thought I’d share some of my favorite rec ipes using asparagus with you. Nutritionally, asparagus abounds in vit amins and Minerals. One serving ( 5 spears) supplies 1.2* RDA calories, 3.8* protein, 1.7* carbohydrate, .3* fat, 13.9* thiamine, 12.2* riboflavin, 7.9* niacin, .9* vitamin B 6 , 80* folic acid, 18* vitamin- A, 44* Vita n n C, 9* potassium, 102* chlorine, 2* io dine, 6 * copper, and significant aiounts of silicon, sulfur, and broaine. For those of you with compromised imune systems , folic acid (vitamin M) is necessary to healthy blood, more specifically to the maturation of red blood cells. It’s also an aid to the intestinal tract. The clorine aids digestion and elimina tion and is necessary to normal heart activ ity. It helps regulate osmotic pressure (flow of fluids) in the tissues and aids in maintaining the acid-base balance in the body.

Editors note: As an added garnish, I usually top the salad with some #resh sliced mushrooms and a few rings of purple onion. PICKLED ASPARAGUS 4?i lb. fresh asparagus spears 3 cloves gar 1ic 1 tsp. pickeling spice 3 c. water 2 c. vinegar (5* acidity) • Tbsp. pickling salt Snap off tough ends of asparagus. Pack as paragus tightly into hot sterilized wide mouthed jars. Leave '4 inch headspace. Put a garlic clove in each Jar. Remove whole cloves from pickiung spice; reserve for other uses. Combine pickling spice and remaining ingredients in a medium saucepan; bring to a boil. °our vinegar mixture over asparagus, leaving *4 inch of headspace. Cover at once with canning seals, and screw rings on tight. Drocess in a boiling water bath for 15 minutes. Yield: 3 pints

ASPARAGUS WITH TOMATO SAUCE 2 lb.

fresh asparagus spears 2 Tbsp. butter 1 c. sliced fresh mushrooms 2 (8 oz.) cans tomato sauce 2 Tbsp. chopped chives ■i tsp. dried basil !St C. grated parmesan cheese

I hope all of you enjoy these recipes as much as I have. Bon appetit everyone. Take care of yourselves and stay well. 50

their crinolines which, to continue to meta phor, do not have starch enough for us, too.

* Cfo"#~OTXO

According to Mohr, gays need finally to own their own movement where they might do well to mount large and wide-spread, nonviolent yet assertive civil disobedience efforts akin most recently to ACT/UP political theatre. As we become more visible, we may become more willing, through small courageous acts, to come out— the ultimate gay political act. We should begin, for example, to marry ourselves in city hall until city hall will do it with

Gavs/Just ice. A Study of Ethics# Society# and Law, by Richard D. Mohr Columbia University Press ISBN 0-231-06734-8, 357 pp. Reviewed by Frank E. Grant Gays clearly have no justice in these United States. What has been won is fragile, frag mented, impermanent, and grudged by a society intent on protecting the tradition of "com pulsory heterosexuality" as evidenced by its enforcement of institutional inviability, especially of the nuclear family. Gays are hated directly because of the threat their sexuality poses to this tradition, even though the threat is more imagined (gays are not about to take over the world), than real. The hate is real, however, and takes just about every form of discrimination and vio lence, including mandatory HIV antibody test ing (yes, AIDS is a gay disease), and even the immoral closing of bathhouses, a viola tion of the public good— if one sees an unen cumbered sex life as good. Further, this hatred— immeasurably fueled by the AIDS cri sis— is interalized by gay people themselves, and figures primary in the failure of gays to establish and maintain loving relationships with each other.

>2Und, what will this get us, besides the self - r e s p e c t which comes from standing up for one's (neglected) rights? Justice! (Mohr, b r il li an t , and thank the Spirit, is an optimist.) There is room for us gays— and specifically for our sexuality, the core of gay male culture--in the Constitution, if we can only get our judging justices to look. The Ninth Amendment, for example, tells judges that they are warranted in finding additional implicit rights in the Constitution. The Equal Rights Clause in the Fourteenth Amend ment tells them where and how to look; it directs that the privacy (and other) protec tions of our Bill of Rights "shall not be allowed to be underexclusive"— that is, sole ly supportive of the heterosexual bias. It should include gay sex and its most important legal consequence: consent, as a protected, private act. The status or condition of limited access to a person, as through sexual sharing, an ex ample of substantive privacy, should over shadow the issue of procedural rights, which merely regulate how or what information may be gathered about one. This focus on proce dural rights effectively allows for all sorts of discrimination— the selectively enforced sodomy laws, for instance, which allow the public "to express its hatred of gays system atically and officially without even having publicly to discuss and so justify that ha tred." We should not slogan the government out of our bedrooms (for that might allow license to do harm there rather than merely share sex there). Rather, we should shout for equal protection under law, which would be protective of sex, viz. privacy, viz. consent, in any place appropriate to share it. This, Mohr believes, is crucial to our freedom as gay people because, "sex is one of the central values of human life: as the chief portal to ecstasy, as a recurrent na tural need, and as the near occasion of, undergirding for, and necessary prompt to love."

Thus philosopher and gay activist Richard Mohr, in styles ranging from academic (legal heritage) , eloquent (sexuality as a private manifestation), to conversational (his gay studies class at the University of Illinois), clearly and cleanly portrays for us our lot as gays in struggle with society. The book is well documented with legal precedent and ethical proposition, and the intent reader will see this as a sourcebook of gay advocacy and reasonability as the gay presence in America is elucidated. And what have we gays done about this state of affairs but resorted "chiefly to the low key lobbying efforts of business-as-usual politics and have had little success," apart from the e s t a b l i s h m e n t of gay p o li ti c al groups on state university campuses; or, we have tried to swish under the p o li ti c a l skirts of the black, women's and poor rights movements, content to peek out from under

A c q u i r e t h is organize!

✓

b o o k!

♦ 4 *

Study

it!

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Then,

In terms of form, these poems, written in huge blocks of print, without punctuation or sec tion breaks, allow for both undiluted anger and black humor— or indeed for most senti ments, as long as they involve urgency and inevitability. Monette comments on the forms of his poems in his preface:

Monette, Paul. L&ve A l ^ n ^ 18 Elegies for Rfig. (New York: St. Martin's Press, 1988), 65 pp., $13.95. Reviewed by Steven Riel Since I am myself a poet, I find it a little embarrassing to admit that poetry seldom makes me cry. However, tears came to my eyes before I e v e n got t h r o u g h the p r e f a c e of P a u l Monette's L££§. Alone; several of the poems still choke me up upon rereading them. I mean this as a recommendation, not discouragement. These are some of the most beautiful, heartwrenching poems about love and grief that I have ever read.

"I want them to allow no escape, like a hos pital room or indeed a mortal illness.... I wanted a form that would move with breathless speed, so I could s c re am if I want e d and rattle on and empty my Uzi into the air. The marbles of Gseece kept coming back to mind." A friend once wrote to me (I'm not sure whom she was quoting) that real poetry was "emotion recollected in tranquillity." Monette's poems are screams carved into stone. That they contain clever and astute observations and polished imagistic and metaphoric patterns make Monette's voice no less agitated; that he probably lacked tranquillity when he wrote them makes them no less beautiful.

Monette s lover, Roger Horwitz, died on Octo ber 23, 1986, as a result of AIDS. In these pages, Monette attempts somehow to come to terms with, or at least describe, that harrow ing experience, the abysmal loss he feels, and his memories of that joy he and his lover shared. Monette captures their happiness by describing one type of moment: the two of them ... sometimes would look up from a book from peeling an apple their bright astonished eyes would meet and nearly falter gladness is like looking at the sun.... ("The House on King's Road")

The Hidden Image The MIT Press Massachusetts Institute of Technology Cambridge, Massachusetts 02142

" IT 1he more I live the more I think / two people together is a miracle," writes Adrienne Rich ("Twenty-One Love Poems," in The Fact of & (New York: Norton, 1984), poem XVIII, lines 3-4). In the case of men like Monette and Horwitz, it is the unexpected loss of the miraculous that seems to cruel:

Reviewed by Mark Skinner The Hidden Image is a stunning collection of male nude photography from the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. What comes to mind first wheh viewing this collection of 142 images is how incredibly new the medium of photography actually is and that the male nude as a serious art form is an idea that still has much exploration to go through. This b e a u ti f u l p o r t f o l i o of work is not limited to one genre of photography, in fact the only common element in all the images is that they contain practically nude to ""fully nude men. B e ca u se of this it is a very important record of the changing iconography of t h e m a l e n u d e a n d i t s r e p r e s s i o n throughout the history of photography.

... a month before you went you cried What happened tq pur happy life starting blind out over the garden Rog it's here it's here I know because I am the ghost who haunts us I am the last window ("The House on King's Road") Encouraged by a cousin after Roger's memorial s er v ic e "to turn the page" on his grief, Monette realizes that it is through grief that he remains united with his lover: "oh what a page Rog how can they not see / I am only still here to be with you" ("The Very Same"). Out of his loss comes a deepened spiritual connection with Rog. Whether curling up in Rog's bed, burying a belated wedding ring in the soil beside his grave, dreaming about him, or visiting D.H. Lawrence's grave site in Taos, New Mexico, Monette's world is infused with Rog's absence, like a negative print of his presence:

The text provided by Peter Weirmair covers some distinctions between various movements of photography and how the male nude fits into each movement. Weirmair also discusses the idea of camouflage of "alibi," which is so evident throughout the nineteenth and early part of the twentieth century work. There are some famous p i ec e s by Edward Weston, Imogene Cunningham, Chuck Close, Han Ray, Robert Mapelthrope, George Platt-Lynes, and even Jim French, who works out of^Colt Stuoios in California. Some of the most noteworthy pieces are the Arthur Tress and Buane Michals work.

... how did they think they could hold us on one ground we met on a journey that is why the world though stopped like a car wreck keeps doubling back robbed of you___ ("Three Rings")

Besides educational, this book is sensual, erotic, romantic, and a complete pleasure to view.

Monette s world is also expanded by his new found sense of spiritual communion with those who have met unnaturally early deaths and those mourners who are left behind.

{____j 52

A Mistress Moderately Fair by Katherine Sturtevant Alyson Publications 40 Plymoth Street Boston MA 02118

It’s your Money...

$8.95 Reviewed by Robyn Kevlin A womens life in London in the 1670's fell into one of two categories. If she were high-born, she could look forward to having her husband chosen for her, and her hours spent raising his children and minding his household. No thought was given to her needs or desires; instead, she existed solely for his pleasure and expediency. If she were born into the lower classes, she would live her short life as servant to her more fortunate sisters, or as whore to their husbands, or both. Women's roles were pre ordained, and their lives were often dismal. But somehow, admist all this despair, Katherine Sturtevant has created a passionate novel of two women who choose to live their lives be yond the pale of London's dichotomy. We are engrossed by the courage and talent of Margaret Featherstone, a rare female playwright, and Amy Dudley, the brilliant actress who brings Margaret's plays to life. Margaret amd Ainy discover the best of themselves in each other, and therein lies the tale. A Mistress Moderately Fair is a wonderfully readable book - treat yourselves.

UNNATURAL QUOTATIONS by Leigh W. Rutledge Alyson Publications 40 Plympton Street Boston, MA, 02118

$7.95

u You can’t take it with you, but you can decide who gets it.

Be a Hero! Remember the Community. Prepare a Will today. A community service message from this publication and the National Association of Black and White Men Together.

THr PERFECT GIFT FOR 1 9 % the new RFD CALENOAR LOOK FOR IT THIS FALL!

Reviewed by Plum Nelly Unnatural Quotations is a readers delight. I was surprised to find that once I started reading it I couldn't put it down. The book is a potpourri of quotations by and about gays and Lesbians. One of the most interesting aspects of the book is the homophobic quotations which are juxtaposed against the more positive homophilic quotations. I was struck by the fact that this combination of quotations clearly shows homophobia up for what it really is: A simple prejudice against a group of people who are different. Another surprise for me was the feeling of affirmation I felt after reading Unnatural Quotations. It made me feel good to read the many wonderful and witty things so many people have said about gays and Lesbians. I highly recommend this book to both gay and non-gay readers.

Tames A W h it e Review

“The J a m a While Review's editors and their contributors together are producing a valuable contribution not only to the American literary scene, but to out sctf-affirmanon and eventual survival as a people." G ay Com m unity

New

a gay men’s literary journal Annuli subicnpoon. $17. rwo yean Sample aaue: $2.50

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fr e e o i charge. ("e a l s o p r o v i d e a f r e e forwasid* i n a s e r v i c e f o r r e a d e r s who p r e f e r n o t t o p u b l i s h t h e i r a d d r e s s . V e n a t i o n 6, h o w e v e r , a r e Qne.atX.it a p p r e c i a t e d . Ve a s k t h a t t o u r l e t t e r s be b a t e * [u n d e r 2on iv o r d s] an d p o s i t i v e i n i t a t i n a y o u r p r e f e r e n c e s . S a t i n g NO t o a p a r t i c u l a r t r a i t o r c h a r a c t e r i s t i c may u n n e c e s s a r i l y o f f e n d a b r o t h e r . RFV a s s u m e s no r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f a r c l a i m a made i n t h e l e t t e r s , an d we u r q e c o r r e s p o n d e n t s t o e x e r c i s e c a u t i o n , e s p e c i a l l y w i t h a n y f i n a n c i a l d e a l i n q a. For r e s p o n s e a from p r i s o n e r s we a d v i s e c o n t a c t i n q J o i n t V e n t u r e , P . 0 . Box 2 6 - S 4 S 4 , C h i c a g o , IL 6 0 6 2 6 , b e f a r e r e p l y i n g .

Bachelor K. V. Dethman We lost these addresses during the move: please write us. Lynn of California John G. of NYC M. S. RFD Hometown

Dear Friends, Unlike most of the letters that appear here, I am not seeking to leave the city and move to the country. T like the city and would like to offer a young man from the country the oppor tunity to come to the city and share its many opportunities and possibilities with me. I am a G W M , 46, 6'1", 190, black hair and beard, looking for a young man from a farm or small rural community for a lifelong relationship. I am seeking someone not older than 25 who would like the opportunity for education, travel, theatre and all of the other possibilities that city life has to offer. There are not limits to the possibilities. Notice that I m e nt i o n e d r elationship. It might be labeled "Father-Son," as the young man I am seeking must be interested in a rela tionship with an older man. I am not interested in being a "Sugar Daddy." I am looking for a loving relationship for myself and a chance to share my experience and love with some one who might o t h e r w i se not have the chance to experience the many p o s s i b i l i t i e s that life has to offer. If you are interested, please write to me at the address below, telling me about yourself and what it is you are looking for out of life. All serious replies will be answered. Phone number and photo appr e ci at e d. Hope to hear from you.

Dear Brothers & Sisters, We are aware that we must take care in our lives not only to have safe sex, but "safe love" as well. Now, not all of us are so f o r t u n a t e to h a v e a b anker b o y f r i e n d (or g i r l friend) for safe sex, but on the other hand, we can have at least ourself for "safe love!" And if we need rubbers for one, why not other protective equip ment for the other— like heal ing hands? REIKI is a natural healing way that is easy to learn, powerful in effective ness and effortless to give (as well as receive) . As a REIKI master I am wanting to reach out and share this loving ener gy with others who have a com mitment to healing oneself and Others (HAVE HANDS FOR HIGHER— WILL FLY) please write with a SASE if you'd like more infor mation. Remember, in serving each other, we fee the Mother! And if you are moving thru the Big Apple, you may want to be moved by "THE BLISS BROTHERS'" special of bouncing chakras, performed by my sexton (he's actually very light) and myself (a Bodhi therapist) . It is accurate to describe this expe rience as "Bliss by Osmosis." We await in light and ment with laughter. Rev. Glenn of Trees Mission of the Laughing Heart 411 W. 48th St. New York, NY 10036

D.C. P.O. Box 369 New York, NY 10021

I am a 48 year old fresh air, water oriented therapist/designer, living on the sea's edge with the comings and go i n gs of the t i d e s , s e a l s , eagles, and the sun— my utterly private passive solar house, all wood inside and out with w a l l s of g l a s s is o p e n yet tenderly sheltering, a metaphor for its dweller's spirit. I am broadly educated, especially in the arts, the alternative psy chologies, and spiritual/energy development, enjoy all sorts of outdoor recreation, salt spray being my favorite, am widely traveled having lived abroad in the Netherlands, Italy, India, and S c o t l an d (member of the Findhorn Community) , a radical conservative I value the simple understated life, yoga, medita tion, awareness, play, and the sheer e n er gy and delight of being alive. Tall, slender, dark, bearded, good looking, healthy, I do no drugs, alco hol, tobacco, coffee, or su gar— simply wore them out. I am lusty, versatile, gentle, a passionate cuddler. For the astrologers: Sun/Mars in Virgo, Moon and Venus in Cancer, early A q u a r iu s rising. I am very open to hearing from like-min ded friends out there who may be traveling/moving this way, and am most open to a close r e l a t i o n s h i p with someb o d y about my age and young in spir it. My l i fe is b a s i c a l l y stable, quiet, yet adventure s o me . As my t o l e r a n c e for Maine's long winters, despite the joys of cross-country ski ing, comes to an end, a move at some point may be in order. I love warmth! In Oneness, John Star Route 2, Box 168 Arrowsic, ME 04530

Hello my friend, If you like the stability of a monogamous relationship and can deal with sharing your partners time and a t t e nt i o n s to his child, enjoy being snowbound and s n u g in s e c l u s i o n at a Catskill mountain retreat, like to help with r e n o v at i on and remodeling, are strong and intelligent and can put up with a 31 year old 5'10" 155 lb. red haired college educated care taker that wants to have some one to love be a best friend to and would be willing to share in my life help me grow and are patient enough to let a new comer that is somewhat shy and uneducated to the gay life to learn and accept your love and guidance. Let's get to know each other. I want to develop a r e l a t i o ns h i p with someone aged 21-31 around my size but vary caring and sensitive to the problems of being a single gay p a r e n t . W r i t e at t hi s address: Fred Fox P.0. Box 575 Woodbourne, NY 12788 / W W W W V W V ^ Dear RFDers, Greetings from western New York State. Recently I moved back to this beautiful part of the state, the finger lakes area, near G e n e v a , NY. I am 62, recently retired. As a new comer to these parts I know very few people and would like to find new friends. It would be nice to get to know RFDers. My lifestyle is simple, quiet and pleasant. I'm not seeking a change in my living situa tion, nor in anyone else's. I just want to meet some guys from the area for friendly gettogethers. I also need garden advice! A letter from you to me would be a good investment for both of us. And you'll get a d i v i d e n d - - a n answer. So, please do. Best regards, Kim c/o RFD r f W V W W V V W W ^ Dear Brothers, 1 am a 53 year old social wor ker living in Philadelphia and am happily active in the life of my parish. Although I have some close gay and s traight friends, I long to become sexua.lly and emotionally intimate with a furry Roman C at h ol i c

priest. Please reach out. Absolute discretion is assured. Bob Rushton 233 S. Camac St. Philadelphia, PA 19107 215-735-0292

Dear brothers & friends, My name is Ken and I am a gay w h i t e m a 1 e . I'm 37, y o u n g looking and a t tr a ct i v e guy. Also, I'm very sincere, friend ly, and caring. I stand 5'11", brown nair/eyes, and weigh 158 lb. And, I'm straight acting and a p p e a r i n g . I seek new friends from all over. (Per haps a relationship out there too c o u l d p o s s i b l y d e v e l op??!!??) In any event, there is no distance too far where good friends are concerned. Then too, w£ a l 1 need people, friends, and l o ve ... . So why not write me today and let's begin to grow in new friendship that will hopefully be 'spe cial 1 and long lasting...!!! Send me your letter and picture and you'll receive ruine--REALLY SOON! Keeo smilino--keep shim. ing! Affectionately,

Dear RFD Penpal Hil I'm 24, 6 ft., 160, brown hair and eyes, seeking PENPAL from high school and college, and armed forced, that is in terest to sell something for cash. I buy anything that is less than one year old. Gay magazine, gay newspaper, sex toys, old RFD magazine, penis enlarge, word processed com puter, and YMX newsletter or G a y M o rm on or G a y C o m p u t e r Contact, a n yt hi n g from NYC, Florida, U n it ed K i ng d om . I will only buy it between 50 to 75 percent off retail price. I will be very happy to give you

very good advice on how you can make more money at home as mail order such as wholesales, real estates, bookkeeping and tax prepare.

For those who interest in pen pal, friends, and lovers. I don't mind having penpal from high school, college and armed forced, because I love to par ty, go to field trip, camping, w a tch high school football, baseball game or just having a friends that don't mind travel or share money with me for the trip and travel. I be happy to Ken exchange photo, like or dislike P.O. Box 42392 letter. I'm lonely, there Pittsburgh, PA 15203 nothing wrong for you to by Boy « w v w w w w w > G e or g e, and L i b er a c e albums from me. If you want to be Hi Guys! special person to me, or inter est that special person. I My name is Dan ana I'm a 'HOT' don't mind being your buddy or 22-year-young gay white male. just being your friends as well Great looks and body too! I as lovers. Send photo and long enjoy writing and meeting new letter to friends from ALL over the coun try.... I like traveling and William B. O'Neal, Jr. meeting new guys for friendship P.O. Box 7 and (safe) FU]i TIMES! Auu, you 112 Palm Beach Place guys heading this way to the Apt. 7 b e a u ti f ul #1 city of P I T T S Virginia Beach, VA 23452 B U R G H ---- gjDT IN T £ UC H . . . ! ! ! ( W W V W V W W W We're sure to have one 'great' I am a GWM and, like so many and 'super' time together! Let me hear REAL SOON from ALL you other gay men, T am lonely and interested and exciting guys desire to correspond with ocher out there.... Send me your pix men regardless of their Lace, location or desire. I welcome (in any form!!??) any my HOT all. So w r i t e a n d b e g i n a pl.x will be out to you too! f r i e n d sh i p that may d e v el op You'll not be d i s a p p o i n t e d guys--- trust me! Let's be new into something else. I love friends guys! All ages and garden, music and country life. Please v/rite. Wi 1 ] answer all races welcomed to write too!!! correspondence. A new 'HOT' pal, Dan P.O. Box 3614 Pittsburgh, PA 15230 55

John P.O. Box 180 Peterstown, WV 24963

Dear RFD Readers, This southeastern North Caro lina part-time farmer and full time professional seeks a good helper and friend. I am 36, 6'1", 220 lb. I'm not a body builder, although I do work out some and have much hard work to do ori the farm. T am v e r y healthy, intelligent, percep tive, masculine, and have the q u a l i t i e s of a c o m m i t t e d friend. I am looking for a monogamous friend who is be tween 30-43, and who can help me with the farm work, be my best buddy, share life's good and bad, and keep me company on long winter nights and hot summer nights. All this in exchanqe for good company, good fresh vegetables and a place to live. The climate is milcl, and if you like rural, this it it. The area is near Camp Iejeune Marine Base, and not far from Wilmington, N C . You need to have some monetary source of your own, a lt ho ug h the farm yields many good benefits. I cannot live with c i ga re tt e

smoke,

I will not live with

drug^, but a good beer sounds nice if it does not involve getting drunk. I am very un comfortable with bars. I like peace and quiet and nice even ings at home with my buddy. The skies are blue, the air is fresh, and a buddy would make it perfect. G i v e me a try, write soon.

Dear Friends

Hello RFDers

I am a 24 year old GWM, 5'81/2", 335 lb., med-dark brown hair and brown-greenish eyes. I enjoy reading, music, I'm a movie freak, camping, hiking, love thunderstorms and rain, nature, ritual, and spending quiet times with someone I care about indoors and outdoors. Really enjoy men who are affec tionate, caring, a well bal anced psyche between masculine and feminine (like me), 25 to 40, hairy with well groomed, trimmed beards, sparkling eyes and free spirits. However, physically, these are not defi nite necessities. I am a p a gan, Wiccan s p ec if i ca ll y , I have been practicing for over t h r e e y e a r s w i t h a lot to learn, but I am tired of being a solitary practitioner, and would very much like to hear f r o m o t h e r g a y men who are pagan, Wiccan, or otherwise in the faerie tradition. There m u s t be a few of you in my area. It's terrible feeling like you're all alone. All the gay men I know I couldn't ever bring up such things. So I w e lc om e all who write, from anywhere, to begin a friendship of love and light and maybe s om e th in g m.ore--but enough about me--please write. Take care, walk in the light and blessed be!

I am very glad to have access to a publication which allows longer, more personal type ads; and which seems to draw a more "human” type of men. I live in rural FL and would very much like to meet non-smoking men of any race, reasonably in shape and in my age range roughly. I am educated and interpersonally aware; and consider myself to be more interested in and con c e rn e d about other p e o pl e ' s feelings and situations than most. Some of my interests are running, biking, hiking, cam ping, swimming, using weights, theatre, bridge, music, non violent movies, gay videos, and cooking, baking, and eating good food. I'm 36, 5'9, bear ded, and weigh about 142. I feel good enough about myself not to need to be one up, and I value that very much in other people. In close relationships I am very physically affection ate and want that in return. I am also interested to write to and possibly meet men outside my area, except p r isoners. Please send a picture and your phone number. I look forward to hearing from you.

Ar iel 502 E. San Miguel Colorado Springs, CO 30903

P.W. P.O. Box 1450 Jacksonville, NC 28541

I am a 25 yr old W/G/M who just got out of the NAVY & am trying to make new friends & possibly find a lover. I don't drink at all or do drugs and I like the outdoors and exercise— but, I'm finding it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to make even friends because e v e r yb o d y else p ar ti e s & I don't & the times when I do go to the bar all I see are sis sies, drag queens, & drunks & d r uggies. I love camping, fishing, target shooting, hiking, tennis & basic, manly, simple activities. David Smith 105 Dogwood Lane Vinton, VA 24179

/ w w w w w w w Where is that pretty, romantic, shapely, loving, m a r r ia g e minded Bisexual girl? He is short, handsome, well-built, young, well-educated, romantic, a ffluent, marriage-minded, full-length photo please. Wayne Rt. 2, Box 163-A Nicholls, GA 31554 •

Bisexual Lady Wanted For Mar riage by d i gn if i ed , stable, i n t e l li g en t execu t iv e. I'm honest, loving, loyal, faith ful. Your age, looks, educa tion, location don't matter to me. Reply guaranteed. Please hurry! Wayne Rt. 2, Box 163-A Nicholls, GA 31554 56

John c/o RFD A#VWWWWW\!

Dear RFDers, I'm seeking--have been for more than six years. I'm 66 years old (or young depending on your viewpoint) 6', 155#, grey hair and mustache. The top is thin ning too! I live in a home that I'm currently buying, in a resort community about 50 miles north of G r a n d Rapids, MI. Currently, I've income enough to almost pay the bills, sup plemented by a gay daughter, living at home. For the last six months I've had a "live-in" that solved one of my needs— a "chauffeur"--but not the really irr.portant one of a "lover — sex partner." (I've been accused of being "horny as hell."} I'm open to my family, a retired high school teacher, a widower after 29+ years of marriage, HTLV- I would promise a mutual retesting "if and when," espe cially since I would expect a monogamous relationship. Bob c/o RFD

WGM, 39, seeks non-smoking mate to share rural estate. Wm. Matthews P.0. Box 3417 Mentor, OH 44061 V J W W V W W

GWM couple in mid-40s, enjoying sheep r anching and raising children in the Montana Rocky Mountain country, would like to meet new g ay and l e s b i a n friends for correspondence and exchange of visits. Box 6314 Bozeman, MT 59715

RFD Readers, I am an e l e m e n t a r y s c h o o l teacher in a small town inter ested in c o r r e s p o n d i n g with other rural teachers, especial ly those who have an interest in the wLitings of John Holt, Joseph Chilton Pearce, Herbert Kohl, Neil Postman, or Rudolf Steiner among others. If you feel teaching is your calling, if you are sometimes energized, sometimes daunted by the chal lenge of small-town life, if yon want to continue growing as a t e a c h e r , if y ou d r e a m of changing the world from your own tiny corner of it, I would like to hear from you. Craig of IA c/o RFD ^ w w w v

I've had a restless life. From wild young hippie to mad art student to w a n d e r i n g h i t c h hiker and farmboy. I'm now a professional baker, and a good one. I've lived in big cities, small cities and in the wilder ness. And I prefer the wilder ness, though I also like the city.' I'm deeply spiritual, somewhat eccentric and slightly psychedelic. I like all kinds of music, e s p e c i a l l y Irish folk, electronic and art music. My interests include physics, religion, polit ic s, science fiction and fishing. I'm open, friendly and humorous. Though I ultimately find life a bit disturbing. I currently live in Minnesota but seek a like minded soul from anywhere. Particularly the Northwest or Hawaii. I'm a nice looking 28 year old W/M 5'7", 1401 with blk hair and brwn eyes. Peace. John of Minnesota

Dear RFDers, I'm a GWM living in south cen tral Kansas. I am 5*11, 165, blonde, blue eyes, masculine, 39. I have many and v a ried interests. Love animals and plants. Am very active in 'New Age' groups and teachings--both for my own growth and to aid others. I presently live in the city, but hope to move to the c o u n t r y s oon. P l a n on building a solar home and doing much of the work myself or with special other. I own s o me acreage in southern Kansas with creek, river and woods. See a small spiritual community and/ or a retreat on it one day. I'm not talking about a gay community, but a community of many types. What they have in common is their openness, ac ceptance, desire to continue to l e a r n a nd g r o w , a l o ve of Mother Earth, and a desire to live in harmony with her. They realize a dive r se c o mm u n i ty provides more opportunities and support for e v eryone. I'm looking for someone to share life with. Someone who enjoys doing things together, but is self-confident enough that he also enjoys doing things alone. Y ou are 3 0 - 4 5 , m a s c u l i n e , honest, caring, faithful, enjoy c ud d li n g and quiet e v en in g s together, and love self too much to smoke, drink, or do drugs. You love to travel, but realize that the responsibili ties of p l ants and animals don't always permit it. I have a definite preference for slim types; but as for the other p hy s ic al attri b ut es , 'inner beauty' is the most importance. Ideally you live in the area already. Hoping this puts us in contact with each other, S. Central Kansas

Dear Friends, I am a Mask Maker. During the past year, I have been conduc ting mask making workshops with children and adults. What I w o u l d r e a l l y l i k e to do is conduct a mask making workshop as part of a Faerie Gathering. No charqe. We would make per57

sonal Faerie Spirit masks, then have a circle ritual of our own invention, ideally wearing only the masks. The possibilities are new and endless. Present ly, my life partner and I live in the Mid-West. If you are holding a Faerie Gathering in the M id-West, p l ease let me know if you are interested. I really w o ul d do it with o u t charge. It's been a dream of mine, you see— who knows where it will go. I would only ask that, if possible, the brothers who participate might help out with the very minimal cost of supplies. It could be a lot of fun, as well as an enlightening and soul-enriching experience. The maximum number in the group should be 12-15, but we can work out the details. About me: I've been making masks for the theatre and creating wear able wall sculpture for about five years. I'd be happy to send you slides of my work. Sound like a good idea? Please write--and I'll contact you. Very sincerely, The Mask Man c/o RFD u T W V V V V V V W V W ' I'm 6'3", 160 lb., lean, with b r o w n h a i r a n d b l u e e y es, shaved face and defined body; aged 48 (everyone says he looks younger, but I can send a snap shot); healthy (swim daily, eat no junk, don't smoke, drink moderately, practice safer sex, test HIV-neg); I am living a low-tech rural life (organic garden, orchard, woodlot, bee hives); I'm educated and have some horticultural training; I listen to NPR and c l a ss ic a l music; I'm emotionally stable (a veteran of therapy); spiri tual l y active ( c re ationist Christian, not fundamentalist); environmentally responsible (Sierran); steadily employed; masculine manner; not material istic nor r a ce -m i nd ed . I'm also uninterested in astrology, dope, football, TV, glitz, c o mputers. I live near St. Louis, looking beyond. I'm looking for a partner, not a duplicate, but someone reason ably similar. I plan to travel in late 1989 or 1990, and would like to b egin c o r r e s p o n d i n g with other free men who think a meeting might be worthwhile. Write, if you decide you and I could be compatible. Illinoian c/o RFD

Howdy— I'm the one they call a lone wolf b ec au se I'm very p r iv a t e and keep a d is t an c e from the crowd--most of this stupid anti-nature society we live in t u r n s me off and I basically have no use for the gay scene. Outside I'm a WM, 33, 5'11", 172 lb., blue eyes, autumn hair and beard, smooth and well-built all over body, with handsome, healthy looks. ( A l w a y s b e e n i nt o h e a l t h y habits, including safe sex.) I'm not perfect or rich but there ain't nothing wrong with being proud because you're not p h y s i c a l l y or m e n t a l l y just average. What they don't know about me is that inside there is a lone some teddy bear who wants to find just one g o o d -h e a r t e d friend who is a big (tall and powerfully built— not fat) bear type with rugged, hairy good looks, very big and very hairy hands, arms, legs, balls and chest, has a thick, heavy full beard, and e x t r e m e l y bushy, thick pubic hair. If that's you and you have strong protec tive instincts for nature, anim a ls and soft hearts and like long hours of very gentle, slow and easy huggin' and kissin' and suckin' and lickin' mixed with sunsets, backroads and laughs, then all the TLC you could ever dream of is here for you. Please send a full length photo and I'll respond with the same. Thanks. C.R.D. #294 P.0. Box 2013 Austin, TX 78768

Dear RFDers, Hello Everybodyl My name is Jackie Mitchell. I'm 28 years old and will be 29 on February 16, t h u s m a k i n g me a " fr e e spirit" A quarius. My m e t a physical interests are evolved into reincarnation, spiritual (soul & God & inner being), and developing my potential psychic abilities. However my interest is not with black magic. I am

deaf person and use sign lan guage. I can read lips some. If a nyone who is w i ll in g to learn or know sign language, I will be glad to c o mm u n i c a t e with each other in a friend s hi p . I h a v e a f a n t a s y of meeting a gay Colorado mountain man type. My pastime are read ing books (AVIDI I don't know how to throw away old b o o k ) , hiking, swimming and travel. I am not into drugs, heavy drink ing and S&M. W o u ld love to looking forward to receive a l e t t e r w h o i n t e r e s t s in metaphysics. Friend & Light, Jackie Mitchell P.O. Box 580852 Tulsa, Oklahoma 74152

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WANTED: A TALL FRIEND? Greetings from the Llano Estacado (stacked plains)! My name is Leon and I am interested in beginning a friendship and the possibility of much more with a man of height and warmth. I live in a small city of 25,000. The region is bucolic and wes tern. Nearby is Amarillo, the regional hub in the vast and diverse plains of the south west. I am a warm and sincere GWM, 28, 5'7", 145 lb., br./ha zel with musta c he . Just an average guy with simple pleas ures. My interests are music, plants and horticulture (trees are a rarity out here and I love them, too), long walks, books and movies, the practical and sensual approach to massage and reflexology (foot reflex ology) and a S a g i t t a r i u s by sign. I am most interested in a TALL (6'2" plus), warm and sincere man to 46, with the same simple interests as mine. This letter is a calling to any TALL RFD reader who is content, but alone, and would like to know better someone short, like me, to establish friendship, to meet and to share our inter ests. I w e lc o me you to r e spond. Warmly, Leon 1122 Sierra Dr. Pampa, TX 79065-2630

Hello everyone! I am a 21-year-old university student here in New Orleans who has recently begun to ponder the Big Questions regarding Gay people: who are we, why are we h e r e , a nd w h e r e do we c o m e from? It started in earnest when I ready Judy Grahn's A n other Mother Tongue. This work of art spoke directly to me, enchanted me, all through the hours I spent reading it in the library stacks. Reading Gay Spir Myth, and M e a n ing made me decide to finally reach out to other Gay men who, like me, wish to go beyond the rootless -- p o l i t i c a l e q u a l i t y -s t r a i g h t - acting -- "sexual orientation" lie. I've been invo lv e d with a gay student group and political group but haven't felt anything like true community. I want very much to hear from any and all Gay men in the New Orleans area inter ested in forming a gay spiritu ality discussion group of some kind. Please write soon! Doug Ulmer P.O. Box 1336 New Orleans, LA 70148 58

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Greetings, A child of our time invites you for a friendship. Part monkey, part faun, part pony— all hip, well-traveled faerie with sweet questing loneliness that soaks up warm sunlight musing on the possibilities--requests the pleasure of your company. I need some kindred spirit for a boyfriend! Artists, writers, satyrs are encouraged. A per son in his early 40s living in the Eugene, Oregon area would be ideal. I am black, 43, 150 lb., 5'7" and generally pleas ant. Naturally, I have a mind, but what I would really like is the s p l e n di d a s s u ra n c e of a real good friend for laid-back good times. RSVP with detailed letter. Persilca P.O. Box 11024 Eugene, OR 97440

Howdy Men: Brrrr-cold winter in Northern California this year, but then the summers are hot and dry. I've got a place that's only two acres, but includes a three bedroom house to share, 1/4 acre garden, 50 fruit trees, and open space surrounded by viney a rd s on two sides. My farm is 3 miles from downtown Cloverdale, California, pop. 5,000. It's 40 miles to any gay night life (GuernevilleRussian River) , 90 miles from Bagdad-by-the-Bay (San Francis co) . Santa Rosa (civilization) is 30 miles. I'm looking for some on e to share the place, a roommate, a friend. O th er s w el c o me to visit. Prefer someone in 30s, masculine, green thumb or me chanical k n o w l e d g e w ould be helpful, but not required. Mellow, layed back c ou n t ry lifestyle. I grow and sell my veggies and fruit at local farmers markets. Rent negoti able. T hr ee cats, one dog, perhaps 1/4 acre unplanted and unplanned. G i v e a c a l l or write: Peace— Steve Ginsburg P.O. Box 778 Cloverdale, CA 95425 (707) 894-4623 w w w v w Country Brothers,

We live very quietly & comfort ably on a small farm on the Big Island of Hawaii. Yes, it is paradise and we're wanting to share it because there's always work to do and more projects to develop. We're in our 40s and very selfcontained. We like it that way. For more sociable types there is a scattered community of men farming in d i ff er en t parts of the island, but this is not a mecca for liberated gays— there isn't even a bar on the island. Some people leave because of the isolation. So, if you' re used to rural life, you've reached a point where you're happy with yourself, you're a practical person and you'd like a move to this sub-t r o pi c al i s l a n d -- g et in touch. We'll pay a regular salary for regular orchard, landscaping and nursery work.

A guest cottage can be part of the deal, either w h ile you acclimatize or more permanently. We've enjoyed having one ener g e t i c c o u p l e h e r e for two years, but t h ey're getting ready to move on the their own dreams. Not in a hurry to fill that gap. We'll wait for the right person, or couple. Write & introduce yourself, and in the meantime take good care. Lionel & Bernhard P.O. Box 86 Honaunau, Hawaii 96726

H<\ i.1 Comrades, GWM, 27, Aries, Sag Moon, Cap rising, old soul scholar living in the San Jacinto Mountains of southern California— is curious as to whether there are any k i n dr e d spirits about? Not p a r t i c u l a r l y looking for a l o v e r , just s o m e f r i e n d s . R ec e nt l y r e lo ca t ed from the East— cur rently teaching ceram ics and counseling at a tesiue n i;i a 1 high school for the arts, situated in the mountains above Palm Springs. Main in terests are ceramics, astrolo gy, writing, the occult, tap dance, travel and adventure, interacting w it.h interest i n g people, and figuring out the m ea n in g b e hi n d a p pe arances. M oved west to play in clay, which was put on hold after graduating school. It is dif ficult to Raku in the city. Anyone working in clay needinq an assistant, and/or wanting to trade slides and ideas do get in touch. If you don't live in the immediate area, write any way, I tend to get a r ound a lot. A move to San Francisco early this summer seems to be imminent. (Anvone need a con genial and responsible room mate?) Folks passing through the area my find this diverse environment of interest: moun tains, desert, sweeping views and large bould e rs . r<top a line in advance. Dan Sauers P.O. Box 38 52500 Temecula Rd. IdyllwiId, CA 92349 59

Big City guy 6'2", 190, 35, fed up w i t h l i v i n g . R u n s the w o rl d' s only t r a n s v e s t i t e transsexual contact service but has no lover to help me with living and making love. Look ing for a person who will live with me, not in the country. Seattle has to be acceptable. I do not smoke and am clean shaven. I am look in g for a long-haired androgynous malefaerie who can take care of me emotionally and sexually and make life w orth living. My hope is 4 more years in Seattle and then to take this person to New Orleans to retire with me. You should look very feminine looking as a male. W e a ri n g women's clothes is not a neces sity. Naive, country girl-guys is my target area. With hope, Philip. Dr. Philip Salem 1206 East Pike Street Seattle, WA 98122 (206) 329-8887

Derr Friends, I'm writing to you wishing I could have new friends after you r e ad t h i s. My n a m e is Claudio, a Brazilian gay white man, brown eyes and hair, 26, fair built, hairy chest, great smile. I'd c o ns id e r myself handsome, 6'2", 180 lb. and I'd really like to have p e n pa l s worldwide. I travel very much, especially to the US where I have a brother who lives in DC and I could come here often. I want masculine men, 20-40, who share some of my interests which are: movies, theater, dancing, reading, t a 1k i n a , meeting new friends that might become lovers if he's the right person. I've always lived in the urban area, but T also love country life and animals. Take the chance of knowing someone from a beautiful country like Brazil. Write soon, Claudio Azevedo SQN 202-H-608 70382— Brasilia— DF BRAZIL

Hi I'm asking yourselves, as men with shared p e r s p e c t i v e s as mine, for contacts to the fairy world. I have the intent to come to the U.S. during your next summer primarily to spend time to learn from men with the fairy values as I understand them, rural, nude environmen t a l ists caring and loving. These men I think are my type of men, a type which doe not yet e x i s t h ere. I h o p e by spending time with them to grow in my own stren gt h of these values. I also wish to enjoy the most significant gathering of these men this summer, if you c o uld please advi se the detail. My travel arrangements at this time are very flexible. A bit of myself. 40 looking to a semi retirement. I've lived in a quiet beautiful valley for 14 yrs farming and of late used my home as a lodge for gay men. It's always been d ifficult doing this for the diversity of types catered to and now wish to use this place for a life style more in keeping with my own varied lifestyle choice. You did write of the homestead 151. Thank you. I do very much look forward to hearing from you and subsequently en joying that lifestyle which you encourage. Kindest regards,

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