RFD Issue 75 Fall 1993 by RFD Magazine Gay

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«• «! during their week of summer. Hopefully, by the time this issue gets to you, things will be cooling v/o down for all of us and for those of you who have deciduous trees, you’ll be seeing them start to slip on some new colorful drag. i* • •

ere is the seventy-fifth RFD, and the first of four issues celebrating our twenty years of continuous production. Our feature this time is the result of sifting through the first four years (16 issues) of RFD and compiling the best articles and graphics, as well as leading you through the politics and growth of what has now become one of the country's oldest gay magazines. We can all witness the deep struggles the various collectives had in keeping RFD afloat, as well as the magazine's richly political and funky roots. Of course, many of the issues and concerns that embodied RFD then still do today: spiritual content, homesteading, audience, our relationship to the mainstream, etc. • . ♦ ertainly for those interested in RFD's history, or a sampling of the earlier issues, this will be a great * feature to peruse—perhaps for some it will be a read down memory lane. And if any of you are interested in a particular back issue or want to fill out your RFD collection, we are offering back issues at very affordable prices.

re are also celebrating two new regular columns that are beginning this issue. An informative and well'• laid out quilting article, entitled Gentlemen's Choice, * is sent to us from Steven Berg. And music reviews * will now be done by Short Mountain's own Khir, who this issue is reviewing RuPaul. To see a picture of Khir, turn to the last page . where he is displaying one of our 20th anniversary T-shirts and * RFD pansy bag (the one holding the board, on the left). And while you're there, consider ordering a T-shirt or bag for yourself or . fellow friend. .

Between Ihe-hines

here is also a five-page photo feature of Mark Chester's images. His photographs are the subject of RFD Press's second book (the first book by the way is Ghetto, a collection of poems by Winthrop Smith, which is still available). While we have a substantial grant for this project, if you would jike to help sponsor it, see the feature for details.

gain we want to thank the over 150 respondents of the RFD questionnaire (Issue 73); the collective recently spent a evening in the cabin sorting through all the returns; we appreciate the varied and often humorous responses you all gave. We are finishing compiling the information and will have an article in the next issue. One thing we noticed when asking folks how they discovered RFD, most said it was through a friend (as opposed to a book store, a magazine, or finding it in their father’s linen closet), which means that you all are still the greatest resource we have for finding new readers. So, as the winter holidays roll around, consider sending a friend a subscription of RFD.

ntil the winter issue, may your harvests be plentiful, your longer nights lusty, and your shorter days all the sweeter. Peace,

‘J I b c a b b i n g ^ o r m b r ' J J b c a d b s "VOR. aX X

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°[SSOB 75 RFD is a reader-written journal for gay men which focuses on country living and encourages alternative life-styles. Articles often explore the building of a sense of community, radical faerie consciousness, caring for the environment, as well as sharing gay men’s experiences. Editorial responsibility is shared between the Department editors and the Managing Editors. The business and general production is centered at Short Mt. Sanctuary in rural middle Tennessee. Features are often prepared in various places by different groups. RFD (ISSN # 0149-709X) is published quarterly for $18 per year by Short Mt. Collective, Rt 1, Box 84A, Liberty, TN 37095. Second class postage is paid at Liberty, TN and additional mailing offices. Postmaster: Send address changes to RFD, PO Box 68, Liberty, TN 37095. ISSN # 0149-709X USPS #073-010-00 Non-profit tax exempt status under #23-7199134 as a function of Gay Community Social Services Seattle, Washington.

Member CLMP (Council of Literary Magazines & Presses) IGLA (Int'l Gay & Lesbian Assoc.) INDEXED by AltemaUve Press Index PO Box 33109 Baltimore. MD 21218

Cover of R FD # 9, Fall, 1976

D E P A R T M ENT KITCHEN 01 EEN Buddy May, GA IT \ \K CALENDAR Moonhawk, GA POETRY Steven Riel, MA SPIK1TI AL1TY Dan Leatherman, IN

Photo by Candor Smoothstone

Design by Michael Ford.

EDITORS BOOK REVIEWS Garland Terry, OR B B B PEN 'PA L Gilson Redrick, GA FICTION JanNathan Ding, TN GARDENING Greengenes, TN

BROTHERS BEHIND BARS Len Richardson, OR

FRONT COVER conceived and executed by Wayne Sizemore T-Shirt Design by Mark Kuszmaul

BACK COVER Graphic by Scot D. Ryerson

INSIDE COVERS Photos by Tom Kwai Lam

A Subscription to RFD saves you money and really helps us. SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

FICTION

CONTENTS A R T IC L E S Living on the Body of the Mountain A Country Journal Entry Gentleman's Choice

15 20 49

BROTHERS BEHIND BARS

C O N SC IO U S NEW S

Jannathan Falling Long Robin & Sylvan Steven L. Berg

Robin

CO N TA CT L E T TE R S

C U L IN A R Y Kitchen Queen Baker's Buns

16 17

Buddy May Peter Baker

F A IR IE A R C H IV E S

Goat Boy

FEATURE Recalling Former Decades

The Attack of the Fearless Pumpkin Killer Need

30 32

Gavin Geoffrey Dillard Troy Tradup

G A R D E N IN G Good Trees to Plant

Timothy the Gentle Soul

G A T H E R IN G S

L ETTER S TO T H E ED ITO R

LUNAR CA LEN D A R

Moon Hawk

PH O T O G R A PH Y

Mark I. Chester

3 4 -3 6 ,5 4

PO E T R Y

R E V IE W S Book Music Video

60 63 74

S P IR IT U A L IT Y

Dan 1xxuherman

RFD *3. Spring 1975

OtafOdegaard

R E M E M B E R IN G

Gydion Baggins Acapulco Peter Baker Steven Baratz Steven Berg Mark I Chester Mark Contralto Stephen Doonan Gavin Geoffrey Dillard Joseph Ditta Arthur Evans Vaughn Fricke Kevin Girard Goat Boy Peter Gritt Humble Pi Mark Kuzmal David Kwasigroh Dan I^eatherman Jannathan Falling Long Mike Lutes

55 17 5 49 25-29 63 34 30 14 62 60,61 11,12 34,52 80 64 65 13,14 57 15,74 61

Buddy Mav Mish Moon hawk Scott O'Hara Robert Karl Penn Jr. Robin Eugene Rouhier Eugene Salandra Khir Shananda John Steczynski Sylvan Timothy the Gentle Soul Troy Tradup A. Vera Jeff Walt

16 64,65,74 22 31,54 54 6,20 56 89 63 57,58 20 13,60 32 54 55

CONTRIBUTORS

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RFD , In many ways through many days, I sit and think of all those special ways that RFD brings into my life the friendship and joy that otherwise would not exist in a place for me, full of hate and sin. Time is time, and so it shall remain; but with my RFD time becomes more than just days off my sentence, time becomes a vehicle for which iove, joy, friendship and understanding may shine through like the Sun after a brief break during a rainy afternoon. My RFD means more to me right now than does finding a "spouse" to share the rest of my life with. Right now RFD is all of these things to me for which I need not find a replacement. RFD does for me that which no-other paper, tnaga/ine or book could ever do! I love you dearly my precious RFD and the many readers too, who without RFD would just not be. THANK YOU!!! Maurice J. Mathie Wallkill, N.Y. Dear RFD , I've been a reader for several years and am pleased with your magazine. Although I live in New York City, I have a strong affinity to country life. RFD has broadened my world view, and continues to influence my high rise, urban life with fresh ideas, an opportunity to communicate with people whose lives arc different from my own, and some really good recipes.

David and 1 both served in the U.S. Navy before coming out, and my take on the issue of gays in the military is that we need to expose the services' total lack of integrity and propriety, and protect our brothers and sisters from harassment. Seems to me that young men and women join the service while still feeling the need to conform, stall feanng their unique fairyness, not knowing their true natures, not knowing what they’re getting into. I know I didn't join the navy with a full deck-, the Vietnam war was on and I would have been drafted and sent right over, had I not volunteered first. I saw that "Homosexual Tendencies" box and decided . not to mark it because I still thought I was the only one in the whole world and had no idea what the military establishment would do to me. I lived in terror. I tried to fit in, everyone seemed to know I was queer, and I desperately didn't want them to know. Military recruiters are under a lot of pressure to fill quotas. They will sign up just about anyone who comes to them wanting to join a "Brotherhood of Warriors" and be made into a big strong man. We are exposing their lies and recruiting our own army of lovers. Edward Camp San Francisco, CA

Peter Chorine New York. NY. letters to the Editor, Dearest RFD Faeries, I'm glad you received the pictures of the late queer poet David Emerson Smith in time. The current trend of reclaiming the word ":queer" might have begun with David reading proudly queer poems and spraying "Queer Poet Lives," his tag for the walls of the city. I think there's a lot of power in reclaiming all these pejorative epithets of derision. When we were vulnerable children in public schools we had to conform to survive; as maturing adults we have to dig deep to rediscover our individuality, knowing that whatever was beaten out of us in childhood and adolescence must be taken back and cultivated as our own unique gift to the essential diversity of life. Queer poet lives!

In your latest issue (summer ’93), you asked for reader response on several different topics. I love the "Baker's Buns" column. I frequently bake bread (usually Julia Child's French bread), and I like being introduced to new ideas. I have a question for the Baker; I've been making French bread for 20 years, but lately, when I slash the top for decorative effect just before placing the bread in the oven, the loaves deflate and I end up with bread pancakes. What's happened? Second, 1 think that making RFD a gay and lesbian magazine would be a disaster. When I began writing my book review column two years ago, I made the effort to include lesbian books as well as gay male books. I receive books every month from lesbian publishers, and I am appalled at the anti-male hatred they express, especially the

Naiad Press. No matter what type of novel it is-mystery, romance, thriller-all Naiad books seem to have the same premise: a group of wonderful, caring women tyrannized by drunken, sadistic men. In one murder mystery, I counted three castration references before I got to page 20. Many of these women are obsessed with castration. I hate to talk in stereotypes, but most lesbian writers express virulent disdain for men and masculinity. Gay men have more in common with straight men than we do with lesbians. I subscribe to Playboy (a wonderful magazine despite those silly pictures!) and I strongly identify with the bewilderment P layboy's writers express at the hatred heaped upon men by radical feminists. Playboy presents a male view of contemporary issues-the rights of fathers in child custody cases, the conservative tilt of the Supreme Court, the debate over censorship and pomographywhich is relevant to my life as a man, regardless of sexual orientation. I worship men, even straight men (although gay men are so much more interesting!) I adore women. Most of my heroes are females (Billie Holiday, Mae West, Sophie Tucker), and most of my deepest friendships have been with women. But the vast majority of lesbian-feminist writers are contemptuous of men. They dismiss men's concerns as insignificant compared to their own issues, they ridicule the men's movement as nothing more than a pathetic imitation of the women’s movement. So long as the majority of lesbian-feminists are disdainful of men, I think it is dangerous to make them a part of RFD . There are exceptions. Many lesbians are active in the fight against AIDS, which is far more prevalent in gay men than gay women. Cleis Press publishes books by lesbians which are sex- and men-positive. Susie Bright and Camille Paglia are lesbianfeminists who are extremely supportive of men. But they are rare exceptions. Paglia. in particular, is widely condemned by other lesbians. In fact, most lesbians are widely condemned by other lesbians. Lesbians seem to have considerably more trouble agreeing with each other than gay men do-and God knows we have our problems! I would never say that a writer should be rejected by RFD simply because they are female. But I think that any attempt to include lesbians as a group should be delayed until lesbians as a group show more sensitivity to men. I would also like to address the issue of whether or not RFD should carry advertisements by NAMBLA, which promotes sex with underage boys. This organization enflames strong passions in me because I was sexually abused as a child.

The whole idea of a man having sex with a boy makes me ill. I condemn everything NAMBLA stands for. However, despite my personal disgust, I would never ask you to resort to censorship. For all I care, you can print ads by the American Nazi Party, the Moral Majority and the KKK. I’m not afraid of ideas. I'm terrified of censorship. I’m sorry to ramble on for so long, but you asked for it. What I would urge you most of all is, keep doing what you're doing. RFD has a unique vision of gay men. Please don't try to change in order to be like other magazines. We have plenty of urban, fastlane, night life, high-fashion gay magazines, but only one RFD, home of spirituality and passion. Rather than changing, I hope RFD continues to become more of what it already is. Ron Abraytis Chicago, IL note: This is only one example of the letters RFD received on these topics. If you have an opinion please write us here and the re sponses will appear in the next issue.

Dear RFD, Though I am new to your magazine, the two issues l have read were excellent. RFD serves a great purpose by providing a forum where we, as Gay brothers, can share, communicate, laugh, cry, voice our views, and find that joyous comradeship which is often denied us by straight society. RFD is a place where we can be ourselves. You can imagine then, my disgust after having read the letter signed "Four disgusted homosexual men in Atlanta...Straight acting and proud to say so" (issue #74). What’s with those guys? How can they accuse RFD of catering to heterosexual stereotypes of Gay men (queers, queens, etc.), when they themselves are slaves to another heterosexual stereotype: acting like "real" men. True, there are homosexual men who act and appear as straight as the masses and are comfortable with their lives. More power to them. But others can not act straight (like "real" men). These brothers find their home at the fringe, perhaps lonely because they don't "fit in," but glad to know there are others of their kind., Our straight acting friends in Atlanta must be lonely too, for they don't really "fit in" either. They are straight acting, not straight. As Gay men, shouldn't we have come to realize long ago that we are all inherently different? True, we share a common sexual orientation, but other than that, there are no rules to being Gay. Our four disgusted brothers need to learn this. Who are they to dictate what we should be? We are what we are. By saying "queer," "queen," "faggot," etc., are dirty words, these men are betraying their fear of inadequacy in straight society, fear of their Gayness.

Re-examine your thoughts boys. I’m not saying you have to don pink jock-straps and purple boas, but be aware there is no one, true image of the Gay male. There is great power in our individuality. If we have the courage to be ourselves we just might find i t Joseph Ditta Jr. Brooklyn , N.Y.

RFD welcomes letters from our readers; we need to hear from you. We strive with each issue to create a magazine which is unique. If there is an article you particularly liked or disliked let us know, or better yet write something and submit it._______

(BSSMil&LL The General Store serves much the same function as a bulletin board at your local Natural Foods Coop or grocery, if you have a service that you think can be of use to RFD readers or a need that could be met, please send it to us here at the magazine. Experience The Reverend Dinky Doabreath Show in the safety of your own home! This debut release features the Faeriepunk hits "The Reverend Dinky Dogbreath Song," "It's Flard When You're Hard," and "Fun to be Fern" and a dozen others. Send $7 (includes postage) to Pete Sturman, 5131 Seven Lakes West, West End, NC 27376. This is not a rip off. Fags Rule!

IN SEARCH OF Are you looking for someone you have lost contact with, a gay brother who may read RFD ? Send us the information in as few words as possible and we will print it in three consecutive issues. Please refer to due dates on the information page for submissions. ""An address for a faerie group .in Great Britain called QAMET, We lost your address but here is the address for Garnet - Wild Lavender, 34 Queensdown Rd. , London,E5-8NN, ENGLAND ""Joseph Napoliatano. last seen at Wolf Creek sanctuary, contact Chip C/O RFD. ""Larrv Morello. formerly of Miami and Chicago, Contact Satya, 2206 Jefferson, Berkeley, CA 94703 ""Judy Seidenberg, (Sheena Spirit) of N.Y.C. Contact Satya, 2206 Jefferson, Berkeley CA 94703 ""Ron Radke. I've apparently lost you, in Hartford, CT. Please write me: Gavin, 4520 Ashworth Rd. Mariposa CA 95338 ""Dennis Michel, left Washington (Olympic Peninsula) in 1986 headed for Alaska, Minnesota, or northern Rockies. He was a paralegal. Contact Warren Potas, P.O. Box 97000, Kirkland, WA 98083; (202) 797-8125(voice mail D C.) ""Osceola, Probably from Long Island. Please send Address so I can respond to your letter. A. B ., P.O. Box 149, Dublin, New Hampshire 03444. ""Chris Robison, pop/rock performer who produced albums of thoughtful and sprightly gay music on his own Gypsy Frog record label in the late '70's or early '80's.Contact Vera, Rt. 1 Box 84-A, Liberty, TN 37095 (615) 563-4397

Harry Hay and entourage at SMS Spring Gathering

C O N S C IO U S In the Fall, 1992 edition of RFD, lengthy discussion was made in the news section regarding the emerging genetic manipulation of children. Around the country, some 15,000 children had become the subjects of experiments with a genetically-engineered "human growth hormone", administered by pediatricians and with the sanction of the National Institutes of Health. Children without any health problems, but who showed signs of growing up to be shorter than their peers upon adulthood, were being run through batteries of injections, psychological tests, and repeated clinical examinations in the hopes of spurring greater growth in height than it was assumed they would achieve if left "untreated". At the time of the article one year ago, the NIH had reluctantly consented to suspend the enrollment of new children in these experiments when opponents pointed publicly to the array of accompanying effects being achieved by these drugs in some of the children. These grim effects include leukemia, hip disintegration requiring replacement with a prosthesis, and a diabetes-like syndrome.

NEW S

ASYLUM GRANTED IN THE LAND OF THE FREE

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Setting a hopeful precedent, immigration judge Philip Leadbetter of San Francisco ruled in late July that a Brazilian man, Marcelo Tenorio, must be granted asylum in the United States because of the certainty of the persecution facing him in his home country because of his homosexuality. Although asylum has been granted to foreign lesbians and gays in Canada, Germany, the Netherlands, and Australia, this is the first case in the U.S. in which sexual orientation served as the sole basis for such a ruling. At the hearing in May, Brazilian gay leader Luis Mott testified that various gay rights groups have documented the existence of 12 paramilitary death squads in Brazil that target gay people and transvestites, and that an average of one gay man is murdered by such organizations every 5 days. Citing such evidence, Judge Leadbetter stated in his remarks that "anti-gay groups appear to be prevalent in Brazilian society and continue to commit violence against homosexuals, with little official investigation and few criminal charges being brought against the perpetrators." It is not yet known whether the Immigration and Naturalization Service, which originally apprehended Tenorio last year, will appeal the pathbreaking legal decision.

_ _ / 1 \ ____ ___ . , , ^ In late June of this year, the San Francisco Chronicle reported ^ that outgoing NIH director Dr. Bemadine Healy had given permission ^ in May for the experiments to resume. Opponents continue to point out that these demonstrably damaging experiments are being used on children who suffer no illnesses. These children are simply marked by traits which are the object of potential prejudicial treatment in a heightobsessed society. As genetic research proceeds and new ways of tampering with the genetic code arise, it may well be that parents will be able to correct for other traits deemed by some to be unacceptable or economically detrimental or morally suspect, such as skin-tone, weight, gender, or sexuality. , Âť a

This erupting issue is of the utmost importance to the lesbian and gay liberation movement. The mass, mainstream press has recently been filled with news of researchers isolating genes deemed to "cause" homosexuality. With scientists and policy-makers willing to develop drugs to tamper with as relatively benign a trait as sub-average height, it can be fairly assumed that energies somew'here will be devoted to altering a trait like homosexuality, a trait still reviled or at the very least unacceptable to a great many people. Gay and Lesbian people must be alert to these developments, and be ready to speak out forcefully should the medical community begin experiments with genetically-engineered drugs designed to treat children for potential homosexuality. In fact, scientific investigations into the "causes" of sexual variation should themselves be challenged, in that they imply a distrust of human freedom. Queemess needs no scientific justification, and it certainly needs no medical correction.

NO APOLOGIES AND NO EXPLANATIONS' CELEBRATE IN NEW YORK!

The twenty-fifth anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion will be marked and celebrated and thundered into the world's consciousness in late June early July of next year in New York City. On Sunday, June 26,1994. a massive march to the United Nations will call on that international assembly to recognize the rights of sexual minorities. Pride celebrations in other major cities will be moved to other dates to encourage the largest possible showing in New York. At the same time, Gay Games IV will commence in the Big Apple, drawing over 12,000 athletes from some 50 countries. The International Lesbian/Gay Association wall hold its annual conference there as well, and a wide variety of other queer organizations will also be hosting conferences, conventions, concerts, historical and art exhibits. It promises to be a wild, unforgettable and heady extravaganza of the rich diversity of the international queer movement.

LOOK INTO IT FOR YOURSELF A recent issue of Mother Jones magazine presents some .controversial information on the possible link between sunscreens and malignant melanoma skin cancer. The basic implication is that sunscreens trick the body into staying out in the sun longer than is healthy by circumventing the body's built-in warning system. Most sunscreens block out the 5% of the ultraviolet radiation spectrum responsible for burning the skin, the UVB rays. However, the UVA rays, making up the other 95% of the sun's rays, make it through and in fact penetrate more deeply to the skin cells which become cancerous in melanoma. So, those using sunscreen remain in the sun for longer than the body would let them if left uncovered with the sunscreen, feeling no bum, thus ending up subjecting themselves to carcinogenic levels of the UVA rays. Those maintaining a natural, unmediated relationship with the sun sense when to get undercover and thereby spare themselves the longer, unhealthy exposure Additionally, the UVB rays blocked by sunscreens are crucial in the production of Vitamin D in the body Vitamin D has been shown to inhibit the growth of various tumors, including those of melanoma, breast cancer, and cancer of the colon. The article suggests that a slowly-evolved, deep tan is protective against skin cancer, while periodic intense exposures to the sun leading to deeper bums is the source of trouble.

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\ According to the New Report On Sex, published by the famous Kinsey Institute, sexual potency and normal sexual function can be maintained through one's later years, and need not decline at all. The notion of decline stems from the incorrect conclusion, from the correct statistics that show that younger males do think about sex more frequently than older men, that older men are declining sexually in general. However, the evidence is clear that, with proper diet and exercise, men of all ages may enjoy a healthy and satisfying sex life. Here are some of their conclusions: Lack of zinc in the diet can lower sperm counts and impair sexual function. High amounts of zinc may be found in sea foods and whole grains and pumpkin seeds. High-fat meals can suppress testosterone levels by 30% even 4 hours after a meal. That’s enough to dampen sexual desire. Alcohol after the first drink can inhibit sexual desire and performance. A chronic high-stress level keeps blood in the limbs as part of the "fight-or-flight" syndrome, thus reducing easy blood flow to the penis, leaving him sadly dilapidated. Researchers put 2 groups of out-of-shape men with an average age of 47 on 2 different exercise programs. Those who walked 3 times a week for an hour each time reported no noticeable change in their sex life. Those who partook of regular aerobic workouts reported 30% more frequent intercourse, intensified pleasure from orgasm, and fewer sexual problems overall.

PRISONERS' WITH AIDS SUPPORT ACTION NETWORK PASAN has created a comprehensive program for dealing with AIDS in prison and presented it to the governments departments of Health and Corrections. This brief calls for a comprehensive AIDS strategy including: mandatory education for all inmates and staff done in a culturally sensitive manner, safer sex materials distribution and needle exchanges, confidential testing and counseling by outside agencies, access to adequate medical care including experimental treatments and clinical drug trials, and compassionate release procedures. For more information contact: Lin Elliott League for lxsbian & Gay Prisoner* 1202 E. Pike St, Suite 1044 Seattle, WA. 98122-3934

League for Lesbian and Gay Prisoners

PRISONER'S JUSTICE DAY

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Prisoner Justice Day began in 1975 after Eddie Nalon, an inmate of Canada's Millhaven Penitentiary, bled to death in his cell. Fellow prisoners organized a work strike and fast, while outside supporters adopted the date as a day of solidarity. Building solidarity between socially aware prisoners and outside movements is essential. Over the past few years, there has been a renewed interest among progressive people everywhere in the plight of prisoners and prison issues in general. We all benefit by overcoming the artificial barriers which prisons erect. Prisoner Justice Day is observed each year on the 10th of August. For more information contact: Lin Elliott League for Lesbian & Gay Prisoners 1202 E. Pike St, Suite 1044 Seattle, WA. 98122-3934

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having TH£M P/P5T.

Prisoners should not have to tolerate solitary confinement, forced transfers, institutional racism, sexism, ableism and homophobia. A prison sentence must not be a death sentence.

Arizona Radical Faeries Box 26673. Phoenix, AZ 85068 602/277-5745

Atlanta Faerie Circle 404/622-4112

#******^ ^

Austin Area Faeries Casa de Estaban,l2514-b Esplanade St Austin. TX 78723

British Columbia Radical Faeries 923 E 10th Ave , Vancouver BC CANADA V5T 2B3 604/874-7470 Michael or Lar

Chicago Faerie Circle 2524 N Lincoln Ave., #461 Chicago IL 60614 312/561-8909

Nomenus

no contact, anyone interested?

POB 312 Wolf Creek OR 97497 503/8662678 415/626-3369 (San Francisco) same as teie-faerie number

“Feydish"

Northeastern Faeries

D.C. Faeries

Computer Bulletin Board 415/861-4221

Faerie Bear Share

(including Blue Heron Farm) POB 1251 Canal St Sta NY NY 10013

Joe & Mike Totten-Reid 1712 Calle Poniente Santa Barbara CA 93101 805/569-1615

Northwestern Faeries

Fey Dirt--News and Information

c/o RAW/ARZ 626 S Chautauqua #2 Norman, OK 73069 405/366-7743.

Line m Portland OR area 503/235-0826

Frontiers

1510 19th Ave Seattle WA 98122

Oklahoma Radical Faeries

Ontario Faeries/ Fees du Quebec

Socials, discussions and outdoor events for Gay and Bi men 14 W Mifflin St Suite 103 Madison Wl 53703 608/251-7424

Amber Fox Sanctuary Box 65 McDonald’s Corners Ontario CANADA K0G 1M0 613/278-2744

Ganowungo Sanctuary, W. N Y.

PO Box 9543, Santa Fe, NM 87504 505/ 982-6827

Jay Stratton 121 Union St Westfield NY 14787

GAYA-Gay Consciousness and Spirituality Heidelberg Faerie Crete Blue herstrasse 1 W-6900 Heidelberg Germany 49/6221-860535

Holy Faery Oatabase

Pantheos

Philadelphia Faeries

Rheinland Faeries/Germany Geert 0228/443218

Rose of Sharon Sanctuary c/o Charles Thornton or Michael Ogelsby 214 South Church Fayetteville AR 72701 501/521-7387

House of the Dawn

Rural Gay Men's Group

112 W Way POB 637 YarneH AZ 85362 602/427-3112

PO Box 1404 Port Hardy B C CANADA VON 2P0 support network for Canadian®

Kawashaway Sanctuary

Sacred Faeries

BREITENBUSH

3612 Chicago Ave So Minneapolis MN 55407 612/823-6996

POB 252 Salt Lake City UT84110 801/531-6846

L'Affaire

San Francisco

Leather Faeries c/o Michael Dreyer 1434 Alemany Blvd S F CA 94112 415/469-0625

Men Nurturing Men

Santa Cruz Fairy Line 408/335-5861 Events and message tape for the Santa Cruz area 206/783-2011 event tape for Seattle area

New Hampshire/Vermont (southern)

Short Mountain Sanctuary

Seattle Fairy Phone

Ron 603/478-5437 or Tom 603/673-0921

Route 1 Box 84-A Liberty TN 37095 615/563-4397 (messages)

NYC Faerie Circle

Southern California Star Circie- Faerie Dish Rag Los Angeles CA 90026

GATHERING

The 13th Annual Winter Gathering of Radical Faeries at Breitenbush Hot springs will be held the weekends of February 18-21 and 25-27. Breitenbush is about 90 miles from Portland, Oregon. On the property are meadow hot spring pools, medicine wheel hot tubs, hot steam sauna, Breitenbush River, a magnificent old lodge, 42 cabins, a gorgeous sanctuary, sweat lodge, and assorted other structures. In this nurturing, peaceful, healing space we will enjoy ritual, dancing, soaking, fashion show, talent show, heart circles, and all the other elements of faerie magik. Contact Riversong at 206/357-4503 or 7541703.

Tei-a-Fairy 415/626-3369 Events and message tape for the Bay Area faeries

c/o Midwest Mens Center POB 2547 Chicago IL 60690 312/348-3254

POB 1251 Canal St Sta NY NY 10013 Gay Switchboard 212/777-1800

This years gathering will be held from October 1-10th. Come join us in celebrating the abundance of our harvests. The gathering is open to wimmin and children. We discourage pets, so please don't bring them, if you must they can be boarded in Woodbury 8 miles away. The pre-gathering work week begins on September 24, or come a few days early and celebrate the Equinox with us. Contact SMS for details. Carpooling is very important since parking is limited and so is the ozone layer.

c/o Earth 2221 Spring Garden St #3R Philadelphia PA 19130 215/864-9922

(networking tool for faeries) c/o Harry Ugol/ Michael Dreyer 1434 Alemany Blvd S F CA 94112 415/469-0625

The Beau Monde POB 3036 Pineville LA 71361

SHORT MOUNTAIN HARVEST FEST

POB 26807

followed by five days free for tourism then meeting again for another 3-5 day gathering in France or Germany EUROPEAN FAERY GATHERING Yes the dream is still alive to have a gathering in Europe! Here are some of the needs of the organizers to make this dream a reality. — having a quorum of North American residing faeries express interest in attending a European gathering and faery mission abroad... It would be great to have at least 10-15 North American faeries for a first European gathering. Please let us know if you are interested in such a gathering. — the names and addresses of any European or European residing friends that you feel might be interested in receiving information about the gathering. — any SPECIFIC places that you might know of for use as a GATHERING SPACE. The feeling at the circle was that it may be challenging in Europe to find a space with enough privacy where a gathering can feel safe from outside intrusions. — your comments about the proposed GATHERING SCHEDULE. The circle seemed to think that most faeries coming from North America would like to have some time for tourism as well as for a gathering. In addition, we thought it would be a good idea to have two 3-4 day gatherings in two different countries in order to reach to as many of our European brothers and sisters as possible. Therefore, we have as a TENTATIVE idea to first have a 3-5 day gathering somewhere in Great Britain

Please send your ideas, suggestions expressions of interest, etc. to: John Ferguson, Noordeindseweg 107a, 2651 LG Berkel en Rodenrijs, The Netherlands, fax 011 31 1891 20404.

ThiS 5nd That WELL EARTH GROVE Born on July 4th, 1992, we are trying to heal ourselves, our sisters and brothers and our planet. We believe it is important to be an Earth keeper and to care for all life. We celebrate the old holy days of Samhain, Yule, Imbolg and Beltane. We celebrate the equinoxes and the solstices. We choose the ethics of the right hand path. You can know a left hand path by a focus on sex, money, violence or abuse of power. We believe there are great changes coming on the planet and that we can survive these changes if we become a spiritual community. What is a Keening Circle? Keening means wailing or crying in Irish. In olden days, the women of the Celts cried ouTfor the dead. The 9

women performed the weeping and wailing while the whole community listened. This was a service they did for the whole community. We are retrieving this old ceremony and making it available to all people. We do this on an ongoing basis and for some of us, we accept this as a lifelong service. We don’t intend to ever stop. Celebrations, pictures, showers, gifts all attend the arrival of a baby into the world. But when that precious one departs, a lot of the pain and grief is unspoken and unex-pressed. We feel that this open expression of pain and grief is needed now more than ever. We know it's hard for some people to express grief in this culture — especially men. With HIV touching us all, we want to especially extend this offer to those who have lost people they love in this way. There needs to be more loving regard to those who face HIV. To have a loved one keened for by our circle, simply send us their name. We call out every name and then cry for them all. This can be done once or on an ongoing basis if you like. Just let us know. If you would like to know more, or if you wish to have someone keened for, contact: Well Earth Grove, A.D.F., PO Box 602696, Cleveland, OH 44102

World Wank Alert PIGJO! RETURNS! For the ninth year, the PAN INTERNATIONAL GLOBAL JACK-OFF takes place everywhere — a planet wide therapy for peace and joy. This ninth year’s theme is taken from Schiller’s poem known in English as the Ode to Joy! The idea of Beethoven's 9th Symphony and the yearning for world brotherhood inspire us to energize our best and highest selves to this beautiful, hands-on healing festival. The PIGJO! festivities begin 8:13 the morning of Monday 27 September (local times) and the wad shoots into space and finishes Sunday 3 October at midnight. Join men and women, girls and boys everywhere during these times. Reach out with your dickthoughts! Look where it comes again! Wank for peace! Teach a friend to wank! Now, and always, wank for joy! Tell your friends! Plan picnics, parties, parades and publications! Go wild! Meditate on globality and feel for the pulse of the planet. Chant OM YEAH!!!

Suggestions and guidelines for responding to pen pal ads. The purpose for the penal listing is to offer the community at-large the opportunity to relieve the pain and loneliness that most inmates endure. When responding to ads, be especially wary of any requests for loans, and do not cash money orders (they are easy to alter). Readers should embark on a dialogue with an inmate with one expectation: giving uncompromising help to the inmate. RFD denies any assurance of truthfulness in the contents of such ads, and will not assume any responsibility for losses or damages. Readers are encouraged to respond to the ads, but at their own risk. Inmates can submit their ‘ads’ as short as possible to RFD, PO Box 68, Liberty. TN 37095. The coordinator reserves the right to edit ads according to his judgment. Notes: Inmates are listed in Zip Code order within the same Zip Code, alphabetically by last name. All inmates are supposed to be gay unless specified otherwise. Bi=bisexual, W white, B=black, NA=native American, A=Asian, H=hispanic, PR=Puerto Rican / age in years/ height/ weight in pounds/ color of hair/ color of eyes: bd=blond, bk=black, br=brown, bu=blue, gn=green, hz=hazel, rd=red, gy=gray, drbr=dark brown. NOTICE: For the sake of saving printed space, inmates' addresses are given ONCE per facility.

CCE__EQB_2QQ1 PANNEMORA

NY. 12929-

ARTHUR BEAN 90B1291 L-H-5-30 23 br br W looking for someone to teach me the .ropes., looking for tvs./crossdressers, any age , looks unimportant love is , plan to be released jan 21st 94. y c i J L I , POIL221 EA1LFORD FL. 32083 JEFFRY A. MUEHLEMAN 094506 28 6 200 solid, W. Very athletic, warm, sensitive, intelligent, good looks, humor, open minded and free spirit. Down side on death row but proving my innocence!! photos exchanged, no games and will answer all . STEVE R. BUNCH 709856 Young, attractive, muscular, wellhung, over sexed. seeks friendship poss more, looks or weight unimportant, will answer all. FSP POB 747 STARKE

32091.

DAVID L. NUETZEL, Jr. 077780 K-l-N-9 31 5*7 140 HIV- W. small build, cute, clean-shaven, straight acting, tai chi, yoga, jogging, body builder, non smoker/drug user/drinker/ Seeks friendship/relationship, one on one, sexually go all ways, cut. Your photo gets mine. STEVE TONEY 063588 32 5'8 185 W br gr bodybuilding, exercise, honest, sincere, romantic, versatile, seeks similar 40+ photo on

re q u e st.

JAMES BROWN 069836 B seeks correspondence, lonely in need of friendship, lots of love to give, answer all. OSCAR A. TORRES 095700 N-l-N-15 29 5’10 180 scorpion, beaches, horses, music, reading, writing, caring, generous, loyal, extroverted, loving, sensitive, new age, soon to be released, seeks sincere honest never ending frien d sh ip s. ROBERT TATE 105685 F.S.P. 24 br bu W fit mentally and physically, seeks mature male who wants and can handle a young mans wants and needs, no head games. LUTHER K. EVANS 395730 J-2-N-10 6 ’4 225 bk curly br.Black ebony Adonis. I’m interested in meeting people from all over the world, no game players, sincere and passionate peoples. TRACY BROXSON 079989 29 5*8 185 W rd/bd bu good looking, athletic build, reading, music, skiing, travel, snuggling, seeks cute intelligent, TVs or fem gays, release Feb. 96, answer all, please send photo. RONNIE W. KING 072122 31 6' 160 slim muscular build, attractive, sincere, honest, understanding, friendly, very active, sports, music, very social, reading, fishing, walking, picnic, swims and c uddles.

)<;p POB

MICHIGAN

IN- 4636Q.-Q041

JERRY MULLENS 26536 B-529 32 5'7 168 br br not had looking, lonely, seeking friendship or something more serious, age, race, sex unimportant, on games, please write. POR F. JACKSON MICHIGAN H <? X °< + LARRY McCULLOGH 188475 35 6' long bd bu W camping, hiking swimming, making love, H1V-, will write to all. 1JSP POB 250

DRAPER UTAH 84Q20

RUSSELL VICKERY 21996 UNITA3 6-11-T 21 5'8 165 br br Italian, good looking husky, well endowed, seeks life mate, out 1st 94. KEN KANFIELD 16405 UNITA 3 6-11 -B 45 6' 170 gybr bu Irish, slender-husky, well endowed, sks life mate, out sep. 94. LANCZ CASTAGNOLA 21711 UNITA 3 6-11-B 24 5*8 150 bd bu Italian, very good looking, slender-husky build, smooth, HIV-, well hung, seeking life mate, please write.

CSP POB 5002 CAL1PATR1A CA 92233 PETE ALVARADO E 33531 D-3-242# A.k.a. GeeGee 34 5'5 br br H bowling, baseball swimming, wrestling, very lonely, sexually experienced, will accept Bi. ROBERT A. BODIFORD E-95227 A-l238LOW 38 B desires to come out, caring, sensitive, affectionate, very open to responses, prefers someone real.

CCI

POB 19Q2,IEB ACHAH.CA.9358 L

DANIEL WYGNANSK1 D 03922 4 B-2A-107 32 6' 1 br gn Disease free, camping, swimming, row boating, quite romantic times, beach, mountains and life to the fullest. Age or race not a factor but a good heart is. MCSP

40001 StftleHiighwjiy. I Q ^ i O K A

£A_.95426 OSCAR SCALES E21607 C-l5 231 LOW 24 5'7 B long br Sagittarius, straight forward, understanding, caring, favors W, A and H and likes to travel, adventu re. all

LEM CHAVIS II H 19143 B5-201-L 28 B/PR 5'11 212 br br loving person, conversation, oriental men, music, camping, sking, fishing, seeks pen pal KENNETH McINTOSH E-71051 C-l 205-U 22 5'6 150 bd bu looking for a friend to

w rite JOHN LOUIS REX .H-68061 C2 112 19 5’11 155 W enjoys surfing, weights and sports.seeks pen pal. MARTIN BRYANT H-27491 20 5’4 br eyes B size age or race does not matter, seeks correspondence with gay man.

WAYNE ROGERS H 16577 C-l 1-120 21 Mexican serving eight years, thankful for a penpal. JAY CHAMPION C-92938-A/3-110 upp. 29 5'8 165 bodybuilder, college degree, intelligent, writing, reading, music and bible.sks extremely serious individual openminded to my situsation, will respond to all. KARL MARSHALL E 400 C-12-1151ow 47 6'1 B likes to write very much, Muslim, restore antique autos and furniture, auto detailing business, out next year. POB 2000

TOD P. CRAVENS 29 5’10 170 light frien d sh ip .

C-64989 C2 236 br br seeking

U103. VACAVILLE CA, 95696,

DAWIN RASMUSSEN E98206 42 Looking for a penpal to help pass the seven years I have to do before I m free.

OSP 2605 STATE STREET SALEM OR, 97310-0565 MONTANA WAYNE CARVER SID 4567261 24 5'10 160 br br loves out door&city life, 14 months short after 4 years, seeks sincere HIV- person, I have what you've been looking for to lay in front of the fire place with. JACK SHARP 2784015 54 6'2 240 br bu more than likely. I'm down for my duration, not a pleasant thought so one and all drop me a few scribes to help me endure this madness, into wood working, crafts, faceted beads, answer all. DENNIS JOHN DAVIS 4761807 23 5'8 158 long br bu W seeks older effeminate older effeminate gay male interested in being my friend/lover, might be young but know what my heart desires, sincere, serious minded only please, your picture gets minefno Polaroid's allowed). W£R P0B.. J I 2 M.QJS.RP£. WA*. 98222 CHRIS CANTLEY 986944 A-l-13 30 6' 165 br hazel W interests music esp. classical, walking, poetry, camping, hiking, dancing, writing, reading, seeks, 21-37, race unimportant, down to earth and sincere, out in 98

MICHAEL CHICHI FARIA 083668 38 5’8 bk hr Italian, sensitive, fun, intelligent, beaches, camping, walks and food. Released mid 93 or early 94. Age, and looks not important as heart and outlook.

NORMAN GOODLOE 22410 dorm 3 34 5'9 160 fun, caring, loving gay guy, seeks a friend or mate to share life with in correspondence in letters, will answer all, out soon.

FC1 PQB 3000-WHITLEY-A MANCHESTER KX..4Q962 KENNETH E. SHERRY 03328-027 37 6’ 225 hr bu W interests include politics, history, romance, computers, hunting, fishing, biking, traveling, music, serving 12.5y with 9 to go. Prison life is very lonely with no one I can trust or share any kind of intimacy

RODNEY BOWEN 89095 5-3E-3 29 5'8 155 br br W healthy, clean cut and good looking, seeks man 30-60 for correspondence, will answer all who w rite. FRANKIE COVINGTON 32852 C3-12L-17 28 handsome, intelligent, well hung, seeks correspondence possible relationship. I'm affectionate, warm, kind, and sincere. Interests include working out, hiking, dancing, handball and music. No drug users or drunks. Age /race unimportant, will send picture, released soon. MELVIN HOWARD 84702 3-11-R-6 35 6'3 210 clean shaven and in good health, honest, kind, dependable, seeking that special person, but any and all can write.

ROBERT LEARY 862248 26-2A 27 5'11 210 of muscle br hazel, looking for someone to share my life with, friends possibly lover. Into power lifting, basketball, football, tennis, outdoors, camping, swimming, horseback riding, Italian food, sense of humor, lots of love to give. .7 27 MOON ROAD. PLAINFIELD

IN.

JEFF SIGLER 860528 A-dorm 26 5'10 125 br br seeks friends to correspond with.

tK.CC. BOX 036 WEST UBEBJX..KX 11422

ERIK GAREY 912315 M unit 21 6T 140 rd/bd bl NA/W Bi HIV-, music, traveling, camping, warm, sensitive, lonely, 6 mths. left, sks open & honest relationship, no head games, your photo gets mine, answer all.

ELBERT PARIS 76546 B seeks new friends, age or race not a factor. Very caring with a wide range of interests, and lots of love for the right man. People always use me and hurt me. I want a man to share his warm Christian love with me first, then his basket of good fruit.

STEPHEN JOHNSON 85571 1 20 6'5 200 br bu NA/W Bi athletic build, weight lifting, horses, movies, music, camping, hunting, warm, sensitive, caring, age unimportant, very lonely, answer all, released soon.

PUP 128

BRAD J. BURKE 100577 3-13R-4 26 5'10 155 hr gr W in need of penpals, friends and or relationships. I’m a human being that made a mistake but please write. I'm desperate seeking friendship, someone to share thoughts with, intelligent, romantic, zestful, charming, all letters welcome. BRONALD K. JOHNSON 85972 3-I1-R-7 32 5'8 160 br bu W cute, seeks someone for serious relationship, can be from 3 0 -6 0 PATRICK BROWDER 99391 11-R-ll 27 6' 150 B nice looking, clean in good health, released late jan 94 very soon, looking tor that's special person to cum home to, any and all letters will be answered seriously, please write. BEN REED, JR. 77654 3-11R 8 38 6’ Bi W muscular build, well endowed, seeks someone older to correspond with, have several interests and hobbies, will answer

CAREY GREGORY 880114 26-4D 21 5'9 160 W have G.E.D., ready for college/voc. school, seeks professional GWM any age to share interests, wants warmth, f r ie n d s h i p /r e l a t i o n s h i p .

46168-9400.

w ith .

KSP

SONNY ZICKEFOOSE 9679 27-2-A 38 6'3 220 long br bu beard, tattoos, weight lifter, inside 17y, 6y to go, seeks feminine acting gay, tv or ts between 18-45, serious minded to start a new life with, no game players for me , send photo with letter and I’ll send same, I’m top you bottom, lets find life's happiness together.

all.

TONY 23 6’ head seeks

LR— PQB 30 PENDLETON IN 46064 TONY FIELDS 910371 28 5'10 160 hairy affectionate, fun loving, seeks person who enjoys life, sensitive, loving, wants to be loved, long term friendship, life is short, go for it, will answer all. REGINALD SCRUGGS 16232 26-6A 32 6' 200 long bk dreadlocks br bright complected, handsome, will answer all from any where, interested in visitors, a g e /r a c e / lo o k s unimportant.

BENNETT 912188 270 dr hair, recently come out, no games, released l&half years, true teacher, answer all letters.

JEFF ALAN LAMBERT 863437 24 6'2 168 br/bd bu NA/W Bi H1Vnicely hung, dirt bike racer, rock/country music, ceramics, camping, fishing, very warm, sensitive, very warm, very lonely, seeks honest 18-60 gay or Bi for correspondence and friendship, who knows what? no head games, your photo gets mine, ans. all JOSEPH WILLIAM KUNZ 2087 IHU 54 6 240 gy/bu Bi W HIV- musician, religious, country music, keyboard/bass, camping, fishing, sports minded, loving, caring, sensitive, been big brother/father figure for younger offenders, seeks penpals/friendships etc, aged 18-80, Nambla members welcome, photo exchange.

Golden Weeping Willow (Salix Sepulcralis) has beautiful golden yellow twigs and long pendulous branches that have dark green thin tapered leaves on the top and a blue-green underside. It is suited for low lying areas around ponds and streams. If you want golden weeping willow in your yard, plan them at least 100 feet from the house because the root system will invade everything below ground. This tree is suited for the eastern United States in the north, midÂ west and south. Mature height of this tree is about 65 feet with an equal spread. Life span is about 40-45 years. The Tulip Tree is a huge ornamental tree suited for the eastern United States, the mid-west and south. The Tulip Tree has dark green leaves on top and is bluish-white underneath. This tree becomes monstrous in height and width and is for large open spaces as its mature stature is approximately 150 feet in height, and 75 feet in width. It has beautiful huge tulip like blossoms whose colors can include orange, yellow and green on the same flower. It starts blooming somewhere between 15 and 20 years of age, but is well worth the wait. Tulip Trees live for several hundred years. I have seen trees six feet in diameter in excellent health. These trees are basically pest free except for a rare occurrence of aphids that sit on the leaves to draw water from the leaves and whose harm is inconsequential as a result.

(flattening toitij ttjeJlitri ts

00o?r trees to plant by timothy, the gentle soul.

The Horse Chestnut is one of the most beautiful trees I have ever seen, with its large dark green five to seven leaflets that fan outwardly to 12 inches long. Horse Chestnut trees grow upwards of 100 feet high and to forty feet in its spread. It lias long flower stalks 12 inches long with white blotched red coloration. It has large nuts that drop in the fall. Don't eat these nuts. They are toxic to humans and therefore considered poisonous. Nuts should be thrown into wooded areas where they can sprout or to furnish food to animals that are immune to the toxic properties of the nuts. The tree grows in a surprising large range; the eastern United States, north, mid-west, south and has been seen growing at the Bandelier National Monument which is a section of far northern New Mexico near the Colorado border. This tree is definitely worth seeking out to gather seeds for planting, as nurseries that carry this tree are few and far between.

I have been an ornamental horticulturist for 19 years restoring barren, desolate land into fairyland fantasy landscapes. 1 want to share my knowledge with readers so they may do likewise and transform the land. If you live in the mid-west, the south, and deep south, you may plant Bald Cypress. It is a beautiful stately tree that has feathery green leaves that almost look fern like. The tree grows broadly columnar at a medium growth rate (about a foot per year) and is well suited for low, moist ground or around ponds where it does best. The leaves drop in the fall, turning russet. This tree lives for hundreds of years, so choose your site carefully. Mature height is over one hundred feet and spread is about 50 feet. Plant at least 60 feet from your house and not over septic tanks or water or gas lines. Red Maple is a tree for the eastern half of the United States; north, mid-west, and the south. It has a medium growth rate (about a foot per year.) The leaves are dark green on the top and blue-white with hairs on the underside. The leaves turn a flame red in the fall before dropping. In the spring bright red buds appear before the leaves. It is a very good ornamental tree. Mature height is 80 feet and 25-30 feet wide. This can be planted in the same type of conditions as Bald Cypress. Red Maple is also referred to as Swamp Maple. The life expectancy of this tree is about 150 years.

Sweet Gum is a tree for the eastern United States; north, mid-west and south. It is a large, long lived tree that reaches a height at maturity of 130 feet with a medium growth rate of about a foot a year. The leaves are star shaped, dark green in summer and multicolored in the fall. It should be planted in low, moist areas and around ponds and is frequently seen growing with Bald Cypress and Red Maples.

Sugar Maple is a good tree for the eastern United states, north, mid-west and south, but not for the deep south. This tree grows slowly, about 6 to 8 inches a year and has dark green leaves in the summer and red, yellow, gold, orange, and burgundy leaves in the fall. It is a very beautiful tree if you don't mind waiting for it to become large. Sugar Maples can live to be up to 200 years old if it is not tapped for the sap used in making maple syrup.

Scarlet Oak is a tree for the eastern United States; north, midÂ west and south. It is one of the most beautiful fall trees because of the deep scarlet colored leaves that it produces in October. It has a particularly large taproot which makes it difficult to transplant if it is more than three years old. You may have more success planting Scarlet Oak acorns than moving an existing tree. The leaves are a dark glossy green on the surface and pale green on the underside. Mature height of this tree is about 80 feet and its spread is about 40 feet. It is a long lived tree with a diameter of two to three feet. The scientific name for Scarlet Oak is Quercus Coccinea and is not to be confused with Red Oak (Quercus Rubra) which is much more common and not quite as beautiful. Silver Linden is a tree for the eastern United States; north, midÂ west and south. It has flowers that attract bees that smell the trees wafting sweet fragrance. The leaves are somewhat wide and almost heart shaped. The tree grows 80 feet tall with its dark green leaves that provide good shade. It is a tough, sturdy, long lived tree with a mature branch spread of 40 feet. The underside of the leaves are silver colored, thus the name. The growth rate is medium, putting on about a foot of growth per season. "Rivers" Weeping Purple Beech is a gorgeous dark purple leafed tree that weeps. This tree is rarely seen and grows slowly, about 6 to 8 inches per year. There are two other weeping beeches; cooper beech and the regular green leafed European Weeping Beech. If you are fortunate enough to purchase property with mature specimens, don't prune weeping branches unless they are dying, diseased or dead, as beeches don't like this and die back when they are unnecessarily pruned. ITiese trees are best set out in large open areas where they can develop fully and live their full life span of several hundred years. They don't like to be watered, even in hot weather and need to be planted in rich soil or composted soil. l evel or high grown is a good spot for beeches. Water seems to cause wilting of leaves and root rot in beeches, so water sparingly if you must. Beeches are expensive, so coownership might be an option. I hope this has given readers an ample selection of trees to choose from and an awareness of types and availability,

note: "Gardening With the Faeries" appeared as a title for an article which appeared in Issue #7

photographs by David Kwasigroh

A CALL FOR CONTRIBUTIONS Do you have a favorite gardening technique? Perhaps one that your father or grandmother shared with you. How about an especially tasty variety of vegetable, or a flower that would make any neighbor jealous. Write it down and send it to us here at RFD. Even a simple paragraph would be fine; you'd be surprised how much you know when you think about it. Let's share the wealth!! In this next issue of RFD ,in time to order for the spring planting season, I thought we could do a listing of our favorite seed catalogues and/or our favorite company to order perennial plants from. If you have a particular catalogue you think other readers ought to know about send the information in by the 31st of October.

SEED SW AP For me. the Autumn season is a time when I go around and gather seeds to save for next years planting. Nothing gives me more satisfaction than planting seeds that I harvested myself. Do you have seed that you would like to share with fellow readers? If so, please respond by October 31 for the Winter issue and January 31 for the Spring issue. Send all information to TV d o RFD.

n g

t h e

b o d y

t h e

m o u n

by Jannathan Falling Long fuel; the wood stove generates a great deal of energy and is free, but produces smoke. The same goes for lighting. The solar electricity is free, efficient, yet it's not good for the solar to get too low; the kerosene lights use fossil fuels, yet conserve electricity. It's a constant reworking of the mind.

8.13.92 I cop out of the Thursday night movie to sit still on the knoll, bv myself; me and the night, nothing between us. Without thinking of the past or future, the moment remains beautiful, just night. 8 25 92 I can place these words here, markers of the unsayable, unplacable. I read Rilke and he tells the young poet not to write of love. Instead then I write of this body, dissectable like a cow, which can be chopped up into different cuts. And some of the sections could be cut out to remove the thoughts that draw out a pitted feeling in the abdomen, a heated rush to the skull, a shaking over the whole body, and a wetness down the face.

9 27 92 When sleep is a tranquilizer, I sit still, just as I am now, feeling the cool hum of my body, feeling calm beyond my character. Morning in Hobb’s cabin. Savage Gulf State Park. A huge moist tarp of green with a bathtub wind, the uncertainty of rain. From the field ot wood chips under a tree, I witness soft opaque light from the vibrating sky; it's like mornings in Nepal, early, tired, displaced. I he numb body is neither in pain nor in movement. Damp air. hovering in its morningness, the threat of rain is so unlike rain itself.

9.7.92 Sylvan and I pick up cans and trash on our property, just below the county dirt road. At one point a pick-up comes along with three adults in the front and three kids in the back. They drive by really slowly staring at us, as if they are in a safari ride and we arc the wild animals they had been hoping to spot. Long-haired, out-ot-place tor these parts, and hunting through the forest tor the unlikely treasure ot garbage, we must have looked strange, stood o u t Curiously, I noticed that 1 was staring back at them, their chubby, dirty faces, their unsophisticated looks, their eyes recessed so far into their heads it seemed that they were trying to meet. A fog of judgment seemed to hang between us. 1 felt invaded, spied upon, yet curious, superior—it was a meeting of aliens. Perhaps each of us was also yearning to tell a little bit more about ourselves to the other?

10.3.92 Dear Rupert, The moon is bright like a pellet in a Miss Pacman game whose quarter has run out. I visited a couple communities recently. Some of the places had dish washers and tv dish antennas. They were living in the woods, but you couldn't run around naked. What's the point of going off to live in the middle ot the woods where no one is going to bother you, it you can t run through your property in the middle of the night-or day-- with no clothes? If you can’t shout, or jump, or have orgies whenever you want, what's the point ?. F.ven in the sauna they wore clothes! 10.25.92 I talk with a friend about a former lover who I barely hear from anymore. What a strange, voidish feeling you can have toward someone who was once so close in your lite, and now shares nothing certain or deep; the residue of emotions is haunting. I think of how my former lover said I was his closest male triend, but as soon as we stopped having sex he had no need to call, write, talk, consult. And I wonder how sometimes lovers, though they be friends, could never be just friends, there is a type of sharing, a type of need-and-give, that doesn't always translate into a relationship without sex. Did a real friendship vanish that quickly or was it ever there? Can it be that one is so ephemeral that there is no wonder in it being there one day and not at all the next? . , 4. . Working these past days on the women s outhouse there is that good feeling, that full feeling, that sense of meaning. Trie! and I cut locust trees in the woods for the posts and just struggling in the forest with those logs, actually straining the body to the point of exhaustion, was enlivening.

9.20.92 An image: Mish at midnight feeding the goats, his pin light clenched between his teeth, beaming a flood of bluish light down upon them and out into the dark: a manger scene. His plum face hallooed by his white hair and beard. They gathered around him like disciples in the night, surreptitiously taking the leaves and gentle words he had brought them. I imagine it a midnight ritual set in hostile lands: the secret feeding of the goats. 9.22.92 After a long talk with Robin on my bed 1 turned and noticed something crawling on my wall. 1 put on my glasses; no, not a spider. It looked a bit like a crayfish. I blinked. A scorpion! I was frightened like when you get completely drawn into the tarantula scenes in the James Bond movies, except that this was real life. I had to sort through what I knew to be true: Tennessee scorpions are not really that dangerous. I squished it dead with a nervous thwack of my shoe. Yet it was still hard to fall asleep that night and I dreamed of being chased by 3 foot lobsters in my room. We had roasted gluten tonight, which can be tasty, but turned out rubbery, inedible. Someone commented that long ago they used to make tires with this stuff. Another chimed in, "Yeah, some of those tires are still around." We considered using the recipe to make super balls. Someone suggested tricking the snakes in the chicken coop by making egg-shaped gluten balls and seeing if they can digest them. Morning. I arise while it is still cool. In the kitchen someone is looking over last night's dinner and suggests making banana-gluten smoothies with the left-overs. I noticed the prolific poison ivy, walking through it wearing nothing but sneakers as I lay the pipe for the women's hot tub. Although I don't seem to get it, I recognize it instantly when 1 see it and think of it differently from other plants. It is not so distinct looking from the other plants on the forest floor, and yet it holds a completely different meaning than the other plants, even for me. It is a symbol, a representation of danger, just like the relatively harmless scorpion was. They are emblems of fear, even though they present no real threat. They are fear simplified, solidified. They are based on facts that are not static, a truth that is never a sure thing.

10.27.92 Friday night, cards briefly and then writing. I go out to Chestnut ridge, cool breeze, stars, make love to myself under chamois sky and to the sound of dry leaves falling, alighting like footsteps in the forest. I was almost frightened by the sound—-footsteps?!—but then I looked up into the silhouettes ot the trees ana see an outline ot a deer and squirrel hovering over me, protecting me, witnessing. Saturday morning, and the wonder of being a naked body in the woods, rising early to milk our bodhisattva goats. 10 30.92 I wake with three mental images: the fresh ground walnut meats we shelled yesterday, the periodic table hanging on the ceiling ot the RFD office, and the phrase 'grace and complete trust.’ During a ritual last night someone spoke of being converted by a tree. She was watching the leaves fall— some landing on the ground, others landing on a stream— and while watching some of the leaves float away, she realized that they are taken by the wind and the water, ’with complete grace and trust’. It was then that she decided that this was how she wanted to live her life as well. And already, look what has happened! I rose, stuck my head out the window, and cool air graced my face. 1he thinning leaf yellows stretched out over hills, into the out-of-focus horizon. I hen a gust ot wind came and blew a few dozen trusting leaves across the tin roof of the porch.

And truth doesn't just stand still. For instance, it's never clear whether it's better to use the propane stove or the wood one. It depends on the amount of cookine. The Drooane is efficient, but it s a fossil

thinly slice half with stem, cutting to, but not through, stem end. Set aside half without stem for other use. Arrange pear half with stem on top of pie, after baking pie for 40 minutes; sprinkle with Sh S???* t nBake- garnished pie, uncovered, an additional 10 minutes.

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HONEY-BAKED PEARS

6 medium pears, cored and halved lengthwise 3/4 c. honey 2 T. crystallized ginger 3/4 c. water

G R E E T IN G S I hope you've had a wonderful summer. My sympathy to those of you in the Mississippi River Basin. We certainly could have used some of your rains here in the south. My poor garden really suffered. But, now it's fall and cooler temperatures will make us forget the recent heat.

Arrange pear halves, cut side down, in a lightly greased 13x9x2—inch pan. Drizzle with honey, and sprinkle with ginger; add water. Cover and bake at 350 for 45 minutes or until tender. PEAR AND SWEET POTATO GRATIN

Fall is such a wonderful time of year and one of the things 1 love about fall are ripe, luscious pears. They're great whether in a main dish, a dessert, or by themselves. A pear will give you a fair amount of riboflavin, potassium, iron, and a real good dose of zinc. In Chinese herbalism, pears are prescribed as a decongestant. So if you get a stuffy head, eat a pear.

2-1/2 lb- (about 3 or 4) sweet potatoes, peeled and grated coarse (about 7 cups) 4 ripe Anjou or Bartlett pears (about 2 lb.), peeled, cored, and grated coarse over a bowl, reserving the juice 1/4 c. fresh lemon juice 3 T. unsalted butter, melted 2 T. firmly packed light brown sugar 1 T. all-purpose flour 1/4 t. cinnamon 1/4 t. ground ginger 1/8 t. ground mace 3/4 c. freshly grated Parmesan 3/4 c. fresh bread crumbs

The recipes I have for you this time are two des serts — ginger-pear pie and honey-baked pears — a fabulous pear and sweet potato gratin, and a great pear chutney you can have when you cook it or you can can it for this winter. GINGER-PEAR PIE

In a large bowl combine well the sweet potatoes, the pears with reserved juice, the lemon juice, 2 T. of the butter, the brown sugar, the flour, the cinnamon, the ginger, the mace, and salt and pepper to taste. Divide the mixture between 2 well but tered 1-1/2 qt. gratin dishes, packing it down firmly, and bake the gratins in the middle of a preheated 400 F oven for 45 minutes, or until the potatoes are tender and the gratins are golden brown around the edges. in a small bowl combine the Parmesan, the bread crumbs, and the remaining 1 T. butter, sprinkle the mixture over the gratins, and broil the gratins under a preheated broiler about 4 inches from the heat for 30 seconds, or until the topping is crisp and golden.

1 unbaked 9" pie shell 1 c. gingersnap crumbs 1/4 c. firmly packed brown sugar 1 T. all-purpose flour 1/2 t. ground cinnamon 1/8 t. salt 1/4 c. butter or margarine, softened 5 medium pears, peeled, cored, and thinly sliced (about 2-1/2 pounds) 1 medium pear (optional) 1 T. finely chopped pecans (optional) Bake pie shell at 450 for 9-11 minutes; set aside. Combine gingersnap crumbs and next 5 ingredients. Layer half of pear slices in pastry shell? spread half of gingersnap mixture over pears. Repeat procedure with remaining pears and gingersnap mixture. Cover loosely with aluminum foil, and bake at 375 for 40 minutes. Uncover and bake an additional 10 minutes, if you do not plan to garnish. To garnish, peel optional pear; cut in half, leaving stem intact in one half. Remove core and

And from Rose City, MI., Steve Berg: This is a vote of support for "The Baker's Buns." I've been reading the column and enjoying it. Yet, I have never taken the time to write. But your comment about writing in a vacuum has gotten me to the typewriter. My original reaction to your column was that it was a wonderful idea. I also decided that I could use it as a model to contribute something to RFD on quilting.... Anyway, I was unable to make the offer to RFD right away because I'm not sure that I could follow through on the commitment, so I put the idea on hold for a few months. When I finally wrote to R F D . they liked the idea and the first column will be out in the fall issue. Greetings, Gentle Bakers!

So that is one thing that has come writing.

from your

The awaited RFD has arrived and with it another Baker's Buns. I hope your summer was (or better yet,still is) an enjoyable one and that the heat did not deter your ovens from churning out fabulous delectables.

To be truthful, as a general rule, cooking/recipe columns are generally not that interesting to me. What makes yours appealing is your explanations as to how things work the way they do. I'm also looking forward to reading what you write from a historical perspective.

I have received 2 letters from my readers. S.F. Smith from Salamanca, N.Y. writes:

Anyway, this needs to be a short note because this is a busy period for me. But I did want to write. I'll also look forward to what you have to say about what I write. Best to you.

Dear Peter A short note to tell you how much I have enjoyed your feature columns in RFD. They are, as you know, very professional and show much effort in the organization. The facts are clear, concise and appear most accurate. .... I do bake my own bread and thought I would pass on a few tricks from the novice to the

Steve's letter, I will add, came inside a card with (what appeared to be) hand-made paper on the front, pink, with a flamingo drawn in it! Thank you both for your comments and support. The dishwasher/proof box idea sounds very inventive: a nice and moist environment for the dough. Perfect! It is interesting that folks not into baking read my column. And what better compliment then that my column has inspired another to write his own! S.F. also sent his favorite bread recipe along. I gave me an idea for a column consisting of people's favorite baking recipes, so I will save it for then. Send your favorite recipe, along with comments, suggestions, questions to: Peter Baker P.O.Box 554 N.Y.C.,N.Y. 10025 Now, let us turn to the subject of this issue, namely identifying and correcting the causes of cake faults. The list given below is by no means complete: I will only cover the most common problems encountered. Obvious solutions will not be spelled out. If you have any questions about some problem not covered here, you can write me. 1 2 3 4

professional. For rising in a cold house: run hot water in bottom of dishwasher, turn on dry cycle for a few minutes. Wonderful proof box. So Peter, keep those buns warm and I really do appreciate the way you have been sharing them. By the way the new version of Cook's magazine approaches the level of your column. I also find many great dessert recipes in a magazine "SouthÂ ern Living". Those southerners do great food & desserts. Let me know if you would like to share some of my favorites.... Thanks for the column.

Cakes Crust Cakes Grain

fall during baking. is too thick and/or dark. are too small and/or tough. is dense ( or nonexistent!! ).

5 - Cakes burst in the oven. The first one, CAKES FALL DURING BAKING, is a very common problem. I still, on occasion, have fallen cakes.

[A]

Oven temperature is too low. Check temperature with a spirit or mercury thermometer. Home ovens are notoriously off and what's more, not necessarily proportionally off.

[B]

Too littlm batter in the pan. 2/3rds to 3/4trs is the proper amount.

[B]

Jarring the cake, esp. before it sets.

[C]

Cake batter is too cold.

[C]

Excessive baking powder or creaming.

[D]

Pan is too small. The reasoning for A - D is similar: the protein network created by the flour &/or eggs does not get a chance to harden and support the cake. In C & D, the batter rises too fast, too far ahead of the protein setting. In A, the temperature never gets hot enough to set the protein.

[E]

Batter is too rich.

[F]

Excessive sugar or fat. These last two reasons are due to an unbalanced formula which I will not get into in this column. Not all cook books are created equal! Use a reput able one.

[O]

time to rise to its maximum.

Remember? Baking powder is part ially activated by heat. The proteins set before the leaven ing becomes fully active. [D]

Leavenings do not last forever esp ecially if they are not stored air tight. Both of these reasons produce the same result: too little leavening action.

Insufficient baking. A cake tester or toothpick inserted in the center of the cake should come out relatively, if not totally clean. If there is batter stuck to

[E]

Flour too strong or hard. This produces a glutinous batter that impedes rising. (See my last column)

[F]

Improper creaming/mixing; batter curdles. If the emulsion (fat/sugar/egg) breaks apart, you lose some of the trapped air. If the mixture is too warm it will not hold air well.

[G]

Batter too dry or too wet. In the first case, the reasoning is the same as for strong flour (E). In the second, the batter is too thin to hold entrapped air or carbon dioxide produced by the leavening.

[H]

Overmixing. Same as (E).

it, then it is not finished baking. THICK and/or DARK CRUSTS are not especially appetizing on cakes, which are generally on the delicate side. Applying to both: [A]

Too much sugar. Sugar caramelizes at oven temperadheres. The more sugar, the greater the degree of caramelization.

For dark crusts: [B]

If your cakes are TOUGH:

Oven too hot, especially top heat. Some ovens are top heavy. Set the cake on a lower rack. Making a tent of tin foil (shiny side out) and draping it over the cake helps a lot.

For thick crusts: [C]

Too long a baking period in a cool oven. The outside, naturally, bakes first. If you have to bake for a long time to cook the inside, the outside will get overdone.

[D]

Flour is too soft ( too little gluten ). I can't explain this one! Don't use pastry flour for cakes. Use cake flour. (See my previous column)

[I]

Too little sugar and/or fat. Both of these are responsible for tenderness. You can reduce sugar only so much before it seriously effects the quality of the cake.

[J]

Too much flour or flour too strong.

[K]

Batter is overmixed. Both J and K are produce the same results as E.

[L]

Batter too dry.

Whew, that was a long one! Let's look at a simpler problem, that of DENSE GRAIN. The two most common reasons for this are:

Another very common problem is SMALL CAKES. Often these cakes are also tough and/or dense. There are many varied possibilities here: [A]

Too little leavening. Leavening is old.

[A]

Wrong type of flour. This means flour that is too soft, there is not enough protein to trap air or carbon dioxide. Conversely, flour that is too strong will also produce a dense grain by constricting the ability of the batter to rise.

[B]

Insufficient leavening.

Oven temperature is too high. The cake protein sets before it has

Lastly, we will look at why CAKES BORST ON TOP. \± K j& h £ n Q u t£ Y i± \ [A]

Oven temperature is too high. When the oven is too hot, the crust sets before the inside has finished rising so that it breaks through the crust.

Continued from Page 16 PEAR CHUTNEY

3-1/2

lb. (about 7) firm Bartlett pears, peeled, cored, and cut into 1/2-inch dice (about 8 cups) 1 lemon, seeded and chopped fine, including the peel 1 garlic clove, minced 1 red bell pepper, chopped fine 3/4 c. firmly packed light brown sugar 1/2 c. granulated sugar/honey 3/4 c. cider vinegar 1 c. golden raisins, chopped coarse 1/2 t. ground ginger 1/4 t. allspice a pinch of cayenne, or to taste 1 t. salt 1/4 t. freshly ground black pepper

In a heavy kettle combine the pears, the lemon, the garlic, the bell pepper, the sugars, the vinegar, the raisins, the ginger, the allspice, the cayenne, the salt, the black pepper, and 3/4 cup water and cook the mixture over moderately low heat, stir ring, until the sugars are dissolved. Bring the liquid to a boil and simmer the mixture, stirring occasionally, for 1 hour, or until it is thick and a small spoonful holds its shape on a plate. The chutney keeps, chilled, for 1 week.

[B]

overmixing.

[C]

Flour too strong.

[D]

insufficient liquid. Interestingly, the reasons for cake that bursts are similar to those of small cakes. Too much gluten or gluten development, if it doesn't produce a small cake it will cause the cake to burst due to overrising, i.e. the protein network traps too much gas.

Alternatively, the chutney may be preserved: Spoon the chutney into sterilized Mason-type jars, fill ing the jars to within 1/4 inch of the tops, and rap the jars on a hard surface to eliminate any air bubbles. Wipe the rims with a dampened cloth and seal the jars with the sterilized lids. Put the jars in a water bath canner or on a rack set in a deep kettle, add enough hot water to the canner or kettle to cover the jars by 2 inches, and bring it to a boil. Process the jars, covered, for 10 minutes, transfer them with tongs to a rack, and let them cool completely. Store the jars in a cool dark place. Makes about 6 cups. Well, I guess I'll sign off for now, but before I go I want to say thank you to all the wonderful faerie brothers and sisters I've met over these years as the Kitchen Queen. As you know, this issue starts the 20th year of RFD. This issue starts my 7th year as the Kitchen Queen. Since '86 I've known and loved many people in the fey world. Some are no longer with us and will be missed alwavs. I quess that's why I treasure the loving

You can see from the above information that many of the most common problems experienced when bak ing cakes stem from the area of the cake's struc ture, its protein network. Use of the right flour, having ingredients in their proper propor tion, mixing techniques, even the size of the pan all seriously effect the quality of the cake in this regard.

friends I have in my faerie tribe and I want to say thank you for your love and support these past seven years. I love you all. Take care of your selves and each other. So long for now.

Do note that the above discussion and that in the last issue pertain to cakes other than chiffon, genoise, tortes, sponge or angel food. In other words, this information is for the more common type of creamed cakes. Well, that's it for this time around! See y'all in the winter. HAPPY

BAKING,

BRONCOS ! !

references: A TREATISE ON CAKE MAKING Standard Brands, Inc., New York, 1935 THE BAKER'S MANUAL by: Joseph Amendola Hayden Book Company, Rochelle Park, N.J. 1972

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I hope this finds all of you in good healtl good spirits. I don't know about you, but h survived the sweltering heat of summer, I'm for some cooler weather, especially at night, that summer gardens have begun to play out an winter gardens are coming along nicely, mayl can take a breather and have some time to do star gazing. October begins with Mercury conjuncting Mars the evening of the 4th. Mercury will be above and left of Mars. The next evening they will be reversed with Mars on top. The evening of the 9th, we'll get to see the Draconid meteor shower. It will peak about 10:00 PM EDT and will be coming out of the NW at a rate of about 10 per hour. The morning of the 13th, just before dawn, you'll see the crescent of the old moon conjuncting Venus. It will be above and right of Venus. The evening of the 16th, we'll get to see the faint crescent of the new moon just slightly above and left of Mars. Just above and left of the moon will be Mercury. The next eve ning, the moon will be above Mercury. The morning of the 18th, the sun conjuncts Jupiter and in a few days, Jupiter will appear in the earlv mornina situ, morning star

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T h e m o r n in g o f zotn, we will p a s s t h r o u g l ^ h e Orionid meteor shower. It will peak about 5:00 AM EDT and will be coming out of the south at a rate of 10-70 per hour. The evening of the 21st the waxing moon will conjunct Uranus and Neptune. It will conjunct PM3

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► UNj ** r'RcUR.'j**'* • IV/sM U^ * * ••* MAK$ •* * • * JPfT%R. lur^ANU^'* • * _ ___ _ them with NepTun^Toeing slightly above and left of Uranus. Try 9u X C > * • t * • ? to remember where they are in the heavens so you'll be able to find them again in a few nights. The evening of the 24th the moon will be conjuncting Saturn. It will be to the right and above Saturn. That same evening, the 24th, Uranus and Neptune will make their third and final conjunction. The actual conjunction takes place at 2:46 AM EDT on the 25, but they will have set in the west long before that. For those of you in Hawaii, it will happen at 8:46 PM your time. Neptune will be directly above Uranus. This is why I suggested you remember their position from a few nights earlier.

s D 8c]

The best days for above-ground crops in O ctober are 16, 17, 20. 21, 25, and 26. The best days for below -ground crops are 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, and 31. The best days for above ground crops in N ovem ber are 16, 17, 18, 21, 22, 23, 26, 27, and 28. The best days for below ground crops are 4, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12. The best days for above ground crops in December are 14, 15, 18, 19, 20, 23, 24, and 25.The best days for below ground crops are 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 29, and 30. Well 1 guess I'd better sigh o ff for now. I want to wish all of you a wonderful Solstice and happy new year. May the Goddess be good to you and bless you. Take care o f yourselves and may love be the w ind beneath your w ings.

n s is the last time w e ’ll get to see this. The next time they conjunction will be around 2165. The evening of the 28th, retrograde Mercury comes back to conjunct Mars again. Mercury will be slightly below and well to the left of Mars. The morning of November 8th our two morning stars, Venus and Jupiter, will conjunct. Venus will be above and left of Jupiter. The next evening on the 9th, the Taurid meteor shower will be giving us a show. It will peak around midnight and they will be coming out of the south at a rate of 5-15 perj hour. The morning of the 12th, just before dawn, the faint crescent of the old moon will be conjuncting the three morning stars. Right on the horizon will be Mercury. Just above it will be Venus, with Jupiter just above it, and the moon above Jupiter. It will conjunct Jupiter at 6:44 AM jEST. The new moon will produce a partial eclipse of the sun. It isn't visible here in the USA. The [only time I have for this eclipse is 9:34 PM GMT on [the 13th. Since it is only visible in northern| [Australia, Antarctica, and southern South America, it will be sometime the morning of the 14th there, I think. The morning of the 14th Mercury will conjunct Venus. That same evening, the moon will conjunct Mars. I don't know if it will be enough time after the new moon of the previous day for the thin crescent to show or not. The morning of the 16th we will pass through the Leonid meteor shower. It will peak about 5:00 AM EST and will be coming out of the south at a rate of 5-20 per hour. On the evening of the 20th, the moon will conjunct Saturn. The moon will be above and left of Saturn. The 25th through 28th, we will be seeing the Andromenid meteor shower. It will peak about 10:00 PM EST and be coming out of the south at a rate of about 10 per hour. There will be a total eclipse of the moon that will start the evening of the 28th and conclude the wee hours of the 29th. It will be visible throughout the USA and Canada. The moon' enters penumbra on the 28th at 10:27 PM EST (7:27 PM PST). Totality will begin at 1:02 AM EST on the 29th (10:02 PM PST on the 28th). At this time, I have no info as to how long totality will last. The moon will leave penumbra at 4:25 AM EST (11:25., AM PST) on the 29th.i

[December doesn't get 10th when the moon conjuncts Jupiter. The moon will be below and right of Jupiter. The actual conjunction takes place at 6:03 AM GMT, so if [you're in Europe, you'll get to see it. The morn ing of the 12th the crescent of the old moon will [conjunct Mercury at 6:20 AM EST. Just below and right of the conjunction will be Venus. On the [morning of the 13th we will pass through the Geminid meteor shower. It will peak about 2:00 AM [EST and will be coming out of the south at a rate of 50-80 per hour. Since this is the morning of the new moon, the sky will be very dark, making it great for star gazing. The evening of the 17th the moon will conjunct Saturn. The moon will appear below and right of Saturn. The actual conjunction! [will take place at 8:54 PM PST for those of you on the west coast. To begin the new year we will have 6 planets in Capricorn— sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, [Uranus, and Neptune. It looks like '94 will be a very earthy year

On exploring the meaning of gav male mysteries

Ritual

An Essay and

(ÂŁ) Mark I. C h ester

The Photography of M a r k

E v e r sin ce I c a n re m e m b e r, I h av e a ro u n d me. A nd on th e v erge o f 43, m e a n s in my life.

felt d if fe r e n t. A lo n e. I am still try in g to

Ch e s t e r

I s o la te d . N ot p art o f e v e r y th in g u n d e rs ta n d w hat b e in g d if f e r e n t

P olitically I define m yself as a gay man. But personally, I think o f m yself as a h o m o a ffe c tio n a l ra d ic a l sexualist. T hat's a m outhful; but it means that w hile my affectional energies are drawn tow ards other men. my basic form o f sexual expression is radical. For me, because radical sexuality is more a term of inclusion than exclusion, it covers a wide range o f sexual behavior beyond m issionary position fucking and sucking. It is based on the idea of exploring sexual pleasure and is not lim ited to or focused on the penetration o f one partner's body by an appendage o f the other partner resulting in physical orgasm .

I grew up in an environm ent that was hostile shoved into my hands were supposed to answer o f time in the library reading. The books psychiatric studies of sexual perversions sad o m aso ch ism . I read story after story o f som ething in this related to my fantasies, but

to the honest discussion of sexuality. Silence and a book all my questions. O f course, they didn't. So I spent a lo t on sexuality that were not locked up (literally ) were and dy sfu n ctio n , including both h om osexuality and tortured lives and psychological problem s. I knew that nothing in these tw isted case histories excited me.

The Public Museum and the library shared the same building. I occasionally stopped to look at the Indian exhibits, perusing im ages of tim es gone by. And then one day 1 was m esm erized by a copy o f a painting o f Mandan Indians doing a "torture rite .â&#x20AC;? I was stunned. I couldn't take my eyes o ff the painting. When 1 pulled m yself away from the painting, 1 felt energized; a strange kind o f mental m a s tu rb a tio n .

Mark Kadota : P a ssio n Flower

ÂŠ Mark L C h ester

Braves hung o ff the ground, through piercings in the chests or shoulders, from the tip o f the ritual lodge. From their bodies hung ritual totem s including feathers and skulls. G uides w ith w ooden staffs walked am ong the hanging bodies. The tribe joined as w itness to the ritual. Som ething in this touched me in a very deep place. I still can't tell you what that is, but it let me know that there were other rea litie s than M ilw aukee, W isconsin 1960â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. In my travels through

the library

stacks, I also

cam e

across

a book

that

had

surprising

interest for me. first published in 1594. The book had draw ings of the tortures o f the early C hristian martyrs. And while I was not turned on to the idea o f people being hurt and dam aged, I was turned on by the ex trem e bondage positions and the resulting stresses it put on human bodies. T heir facial ex p ressio n s were o th erw o rld ly and rem inded me o f the Mandan braves facing this personal test o f faith and spirit.

A book called. "Tortures and Torm ents o f the Christian M artyrs," a 1904 edition o f a book

Around that tim e, I started doing, ... t h i n g s to myself. I experim ented with my body and my dick and explored endless possibilities. Trying to find out what it was that made me feel good. In some of those explorations, I tied m yself up, tied raw hide around my cock and balls, hung m yself upside down by me feet and jerked off in my face, stretched my body with rope, w eighted my body down with barbell w eights, cut o ff my circulation and cut o ff my breath. We live in such an incredibly twisted society. My father yelled when he found m agazines w ith pictures of nearly nude men. But that was nothing com pared to his rage he found porno book novels of heterosadom asochistic sexual delight. (1 couldn't find any In these novellas, dom inant women tortured and abused weak w illed men whose dicks th e ir

my m asturbation and fury when that w ere gay.) alw ays raged at

abuse.

To my father, the very idea that someone could consent to, let alone be sexually turned on to erotic intensity and erotic torm ent was sick and perverted. But my father had no trouble hurting me, hitting me, slapping me, kicking me, strapping me, yelling at me, pushing me or debasing me. That to him was h e a lth y .

L u st o n a S ea o f D esire As 1 explored photography. alw ays looked fetish o f dark they had little

c ' Mark I. C hester

my sexuality, the only sexual images o f men that 1 could find were in But sexual photography o f meninto radical sex was very hard to find. staged and the men looked posed and stilted. They im itated the outw ard sexuality but not its heart or passion. The men were interesting, but for the to do with the men that I was turned on to and even less to do with my

com m ercial i he images veneer and m ost p art, developing

s e x u a lity . W hat I felt, what I desired, what caught my eye, what made my dick h a r d - in other words, w hat in some ways defined for me the most essential pieces o f what it was for me to be gay and s e x u a l- were not reflected back to me from either the m ainstream culture at large or the hom osexual culture in p a rtic u la r.

Scott & Dwayne

ÂŠ Mark I. C h ester

Runner

c Mark I. C h ester 28

So in

1979,

cam era

certain

I began

A lthough

the

p h o to g ra p h e d ,

but

m irror

changes

from

sexual

dev astation spiritual a sense, and into and

men we

the

have

I have

also

the lived.

d ra m a tic

gone

through

o b session,

and

loss,

exploration

to sexual

life.

im a g e s

w hich

They

record

h ap pened these

not only reflect during

the

u n in te n tio n a lly ,

dark

use

docum ent and

aspects

tim es

healing.

and They

through back are, in

snapshots of my life; a

explicit my

on-g o in g

co n tin u in g

the

m eaning

spirit

and

diary

ex p lo ra tio n of

sexuality gay

male

m y s te rie s . ▼

overview of 13 yedf’5 (+ \arV I C h e s t e r ’?

pkofogr& phic w o rit will be on display in <3 or\e m an 5k o w , W o rk /. C hew ier ~

jfe x u a f Pfjo fo g ra p h y ’ r c n g '? X - P a f e d Choice?, of the Leslie ~ Leh m a n Cay h f\ Foundation, )2? Prince 5 h , M ew YorL & dL 26 “ tte c . 6, 1993 <!3pen Tue?. thru Moon " 6pm (2 12)6 7 3 -7 6 6 7 . /^o rk con be reached at (4 1 3 )6 2 1 -6 2 9 4 V m 42256 1, 5P, CA 94142 SUPPORTERS ?

sfte>N S P RS ? } BE NEFACTO RS.! . I t PQKOfl-S^ A i^ L J -i-i

RFD happily announces that the second book from RFD Press will be DIARY OF A THOUGHT CRIMINALrThe Photography of Mark I. Chester. We are already in production and have raised over half the amount required for publication. But more is needed. Will you help us with a donation? You can become a BENEFACTOR. 000 or more for which you will receive a signed special edition of the book plus a signed and matted photograph by the photographer. SPONSOR......... $500 & up for which you will receive a signed special edition copy. SUPPORTER $100 & up for which you will get a signed regular edition copy. DONOR.............. -Any amount for which you will receive acknowledgment in the book. Donations can be tax deductible and checks should be made out to; RFD %PO Box 68, Liberty, TN 37095. Please specify if you want your gift to be tax deductible. Thank You! 29

THE ATTACK OF THF FEARLESS PUW PKW

KILLER by Gavin G eoffrey Dillard photography by Scott O'Hara It's too hot to sleep, there's gnats in my ears and the cicadas

But he is not smiling here, his mouth is puckered just slightly

sound as though they may be peeling away the shake walls of my fragile

into a sneer and his eyes are squinted with malice. The sides of his head

farmhouse. I've jacked off twice thinking about David and I've

appear shaved beneath the backwards-turned baseball cap, but a lovely

consumed every bit of junk food in the house. Reading doesn't help as I

bouquet of dreadlocks fall flaceidly about his right shoulder.

can't concentrate a damn bit, and every story I try to write just comes

"This is the only current shot that I have," he warned me on the

right back arciund to psalms and paeans to the man.

outside of a custom-made envelope in which the photo came, along with

I have only one contemporary shot of him, and all those modeling 8 by 10's from however many years ago it was.

a puppy shot of his now three-year-old cream Labrador, Sally.

I always

thought that they made him look like a grown-up Little Ricky, cute, but

We met at high school, David and I, when 1 was a mere fifteen,

hardly the vulpine demon that he has since grown into.

he fourteen. Our union had been swift, as though we had business left

In the snapshot he is wearing a red football jersey shirt that is

over from a previous incarnation. What the hey, hg was a vegetarian J

covering up the spectacular-sounding eagle tattoo that he has informed

was a vegetarian, we both had long hair, we had both just converted to the Bahaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;i Faith.

me is being birthed across the splay of his chest - it bums into his heart, he cajoles me, the way that he has only felt with me when we

His penis looked just like mine, only the skin was always more

were pretzeled into the shameless and sadistic contortions of passion.

loose. And he had a definite head start with the body hair, which

He is holding the head of a pumpkin w ith his left hand, while slicing an

annoyed me no end and made me feel obliged to pork him twice for

eye with his nght. The Jack already has a red-chili-pepper nose and a

every one time he did me. Well, he was younger after all; that was all as it was supposed to be.

voracious smile, the way that I remember David's. 30

The year that he got AIDS 1 ordered him to get out of the city

Years passed after high school, as they do, and we both ended up in Los Angeles as "talent" in the same pom film. I was the headliner, but it was a cinch that David would steal the scenes that we both shared. Afterwards we ate quaaludes and went to Probe for hours of mesmerization and neo-tribal camaraderie. It was great until I found him unclothed in the rafters, tied up with lighting cords, his face in the crotch of a giant black mesomorph, while some weedy Middle-Eastern thing was pounding away at his derriere. "Damit guys, lay off," 1 threatened with very little energy. I was white, and better looking than either of them, which at the time brought

and come join me on my small farm just west of Yosemite. He refused AZT and the other poisons that were being offered him and I agreed wholeheartedly. We did a strict diet of carrot and beet juice, raw garlic and a continuum of echinacea extract. We both daily consumed eight ounces of our own morning piss as an eons-old homeopathic prophylactic. And other food and substances too numerous to mention. "I'm scared now," he would tell me as he shoved that glorious Grecian nose into my armpit at night. "I'm really scared." "Fear not, dude," I would offer, "I'll find you wherever you

unlimited power. "He's mine," I stated flatly, while unwrapping his ankles and wrists. I never even found his jeans; he was way too

are, in this world or that, and I'll jump your bones nonetheless." He would writhe away from me when I approached him

incoherent to remember having parted with them. I took him out back and threw him naked into the Mustang.

This was the Seventies,

remember, and life moved very differently. All that David could think of once I had gotten him up the five flights of stairs to my flat that morning was grape juice, which I pumped him full of until something erupted and it all shot out in a violet typhoon against the side wall and one of those dismal gray Seventies sofas.

sexually, but he had grown too weak to resist, and I would pump his furry melons until the liquid feces was around us in puddles. I knew he could smell his shame, but his mind was confused and he would remember sweeter times when his thighs performed wonders of hygienic kinesthetics. Nowhere in all my experiences have I encountered a butt so alive of its own accord, so vibrantly and thoroughly translucent, as though lights shown from within to guide the swooping dragon into his lair. And his hole. There was another mouth there, ever expressive, capable of the most sophisticated subtleties of communication, always

And his hole___ another mouth ever expressive,. . .always wanting, always thirsty,. . grasping. ..

wanting, always thirsty, a new-born ever grasping for its first breath. Then the dude got well. All we had tried, combined with minor ozone autohemotherapy, brought him back to his most effulgent personification yet. And so he left me, back to the farm his parents left him in upstate New York, with some man named Drew and this pernicious little puppy that dominates their marriage. When 1 look at this, snapshot I see the malice in his eyes, the

"Fuck, David," was all I could say, but there was no animosity within me. 1 merely straightened out his unconscious form and began

sneer on that entirely perfect upper lip. I his is not the mere carving ol

licking the salt from within and without its concaves and convexes. His

an autumnal festive adornment. A murder is going on here, a destruction

sphincter was inverted slightly from the previous foray, and let out the slightest pussy-fart when I parted it with my tongue.

of what had once been alive and ensconced in the clover-laden fields of

Beef, I could

life. The knife is poised into the eyes of the jack-o-lantem...But the

smell; beef and onions. Yes, we were no longer strict vegetarians, were

pumpkin is smiling like the devil at a party in Hell.... we?

I want to rip that jersey off and bear my teeth into the eagle that

1 began with three fingers pushing up farther until I could feel all

is taking flight upon his chest. 1 would take the scalpel from his hand

of the man's insides within my hand. It was like delivering a baby

and slice my way through the carrion-fowlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s breast, prying apart its

somehow, but inside out, and as 1 watched the drool gurgling from his

wings and sliding my own talons deep within to feel that fragile heart

softly-pouted pomegranate lips, I realized just how fragile life was,

beating within its sacrosanct shell. His heart then in my left hand, and his dismembered cock in the

from either inside or out.

other, in the photo I would be smiling, my nose shiny and red like an

When I look at this photo it is hard to imagine the fallen sylph

Anaheim chili, my hair nappy and fallen to one side, blood dripping

that I had come to know this sprite to be. There was never this sort of

from the curls, down across my chest like a giant red tattoo.

determination, never any malice or intent other than to survive the night

He has the sexiest mouth. He is July in the same Tom of Finland

and relax through the day until the next one. David always smelled to me of amber and honey.â&#x20AC;?It's the carrot

calendar in which I am December. Angels give up their wings for lips

juice," he told me, which he drank frequently to the point of turning

like those. I remember his ass when it was spewing sickness across my

completely orange, from the palms of his hands to the rift in his glans.

clean flannel sheets. And I would clean them up, cleaning him as well,

But he smelled that way even during the years of fast-foods and beer. It

and he would never even know what a mess we had created.

was his chemistry, the pheromones that moved us together like myriads

Bless him.

of invisible rubber bands that spanned as far as Eire Island to Kona. 31

NEED by Troy Tradup D uring the summ er, Nick spraw ls in the sun like im possible cat. "You look like an Aztec," Michael tells him. "You look like some Mayan statue." N ick narrow s his eyes. "I need to fuck you," Michael says. They have been together for three y ears.

"1 think 1 need som ething to d o with my life," Nick says, thinking it's a new idea. "You have som ething to do with your life," Michael answers. He strips o ff his shirt and tousles his hair the way Nick likes, and Nick laughs. A fter, though, when M ichael has gone back to his w'riting, Nick is always surprised and saddened to feel the inexplicable need flow so easily back. The sound o f M ichael’s typew riter in the other room is startling, like tiny snaps o f bone. M ichael spends all sum m er in front o f the air conditioner. He strips down to nothing and works through yet another draft o f his new novel. Loose pages from previous drafts flutter in the cool air around him, like tiny pagans fanning their naked idol. Nick com es in and opens himself, shivering like one o f the sheets o f paper. M ichael w rites. "I am unhappy," Nick w hispers into the I am unhappy, and 1 don’t know why." Michael nuzzles against Nick's back. "Stop it, he says. "E verything's fine." Nick tw ists around to see if M ichael's eyes are open. They are: bottom less, black, h e a v y -lid d e d . 'I'm unhappy, M ichael,” Nick says. "U nhappy with me? Unhappy w ith us?" "Just unhappy." "I’m not sure I know what to do about just u n h a p p y ." You could tell me you love me." There is a long silence in the room, and then the sound o f N ick and M ichael together. dark.

awdKC m achine-gun spray o f M ichael's ty p ew riter from other room. He smoothes out the com forter. He looks the ceiling. He waits. 32

M o r n in g . In the m orning, N ick has learned, anything is possible with M ichael. A fight. A rom ance. A playful w restle th at m ight turn into an exhausting m arathon, leaving N ick so drained he can barely keep his eyes open. Som etim es, he w ill lie there after one o f these sessions, one o f these attacks, and he w ill hear M ichael's fingers pounding the keyboard o f the typew riter in a w hite blur. When N ick finally does drag him self out of bed, when he can drag him self out, M ichael will look up with a sly, seductive sm ile and point to one corner o f his desk, to tw enty or even thirty pages that were not there earlier. Such days are infrequent, but when they do occur, when N ick is confronted by this sheaf of papers and by M ichael's sharp, dark grin, he alw ays feels as though those w ords are really his, and not M ichael's at all. He feels as if those words have been ripped by M ichael from som ew here deep inside him, and he hates M ichael then. He hates M ichael with an ignorant blind conviction that seems total and eternal. And then - suddenly - the hate seems to simply float aw ay, to waft out of him ot its own accord, and with such a punch of em otion in its place that Nick has to leave the apartm ent in order to breathe. When Nick walks back in, Michael turns o ff the ty p ew riter and sm iles. T h ree years. Nick has developed a silent mantra. A litany. 1

think / need something to do with my life. I think I need something to do with my life. He volunteers at a soup kitchen dow ntow n, but it is too depressing. He tries a teen hotline instead, but the stories the counselors tell, and the sad, w hispered m onologues that crackle into the office over hollow phone lines, are terrifying. The need out there is terrifying. Nick returns to the park, returns to the sun, r e tu rn s . One day in the park, N ick sees a very old man sitting on a bench. The old man is talking softly to him self, crying a little now and again. N ick avoids looking at him for a long tim e; he concentrates instead on the heat of the sun against his face, the feel o f dry grass pressing into his back. Finally, Nick stands. He walks over to the old m an's bench. There is nothing else he can do. "I'm sorry," Nick says quietly. "I couldn't help noticing that you’re upset. Are you all right? Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man is startled by N ick's sudden presence. A m om ent o f fear or em barrassm ent or maybe even anger flashes across his leathery skin, through his pale eyes, and then disappears into a mask of quiet, aching resignation. If Nick had approached with a knife, the old man might have quietly offered his throat.

"I'm sorry," Nick says again, but it sounds staged, "Are you all right?" "No," the man says simply. There is no feeling in the word, no offer to elaborate. "I'm sorry," Nick says. A fter a moment, he sits on the bench beside the old man. "My wife died," the old man says. "Oh." Nick realizes that now is when he needs to say som ething, but of course he doesn't. He looks at the ground. "She was old," the man says. "Yes." "I’m old." "I suppose." "I am," the old man says. "I'm dam ned old. I didn't even like her much anym ore. She didn't like me an y m o re, e ith e r." N ick isn’t sure how to answer. He says sim ply, "Oh." "But we stayed on, like people do." The old man takes a yellow ed handkerchief from the pocket of his shirt and wipes at his pale eyes. "Until we were all used up. And now she's dead."

plastic.

Nick and the old man sit for a time listening to the sounds o f the park -birds, cars passing, a dog. Finally the old man says, "W ell." He gets up and picks his way slowly across the park. Nick w atches until the old man has crossed the street and disappeared into an apartm ent building. As Nick walks home, he realizes that the leaves on the trees lining the park have begun their first tentative shadings tow ard yellow . It is a m inute difference from the color o f the leaves a week ago, but Nick notices. "The book is finished," Michael says quietly. " F in is h e d ? " "I guess it’s been finished for a long time. I've been w riting in circles." Nick leans in and they kiss. Then he pulls back, su rp risin g them both. "You look funny," M ichael says. "W hat's wrong?" "I don't know for sure," Nick says. "I was in the park, and I suddenly felt like I'd figured som ething out. Something I've been trying to figure out for a long tim e ." "L ike w hat?" "Something. Just on the tip o f my tongue, you know ? It was like som ething really extraordinary was happening ju st a little ways aw ay." ""In the park?" Michael says. "That's not all that unusual, you know ." "But it w asn't like a person-som ething," Nick says. "It wasn't like a mugger, or a pusher." He lies; "It w asn 't th re a te n in g ." "W hat then?" M ichael leans forw ard, his interest aw akened by the hint of a story, a plot tw ist stranded in the fragrant winds of a small city park.

q oxcG oy Pavana in spirit. No place to rest Love from a man I dare not request; for I'm a lower form of being Surrounded by handsome Bodies and faces, And this monster, Having no graces except in green and mossy places surrounded by thickets, brambles, and thorns Safe from those who revile my horns Making love to goats and trees Non are better friends than these ? I hough the beautiful men Give me an embrace, to save them from karmic disgrace, They know to go any further with me would be committing acts of beastiaiity. My goat lovers have all gone away In loneliness I now sadly stay Dreaming of my cloven friends, Dancing in the realm where the universe ends 'Round a monolith jagged and gray. There on my flute I gaily play Pan, A/.azel, Hern, and the others Oh I do miss my satyr brothers.

Nil D,

continued

Nick opens him m outh, but no sound com es out. He teels the truth m oving through him like some loping, starved beast. He looks into M ichael's eyes, touches the strong shoulders, the sm ooth skin. Nick feels very safe with M ichael. He knows he needs this safety. He knows he needs to feel this. But he also knows som ething else. "I'm com pletely em pty," Nick says. "Your book is finished and now there's nothing left inside o f me. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m all used up."

"It was so odd." Nick says. "It felt like there was this great truth, this great answer, ju st right there. And then along with it was the great question that it belonged to." M ichael laughs, a cascade o f sim ple happiness over their lives, over N ick's blushing dism ay for not making much sense, over the world. Nick scowls, but he can't hold it. He wants to be perturbed, wants to feel as if he is being laughed at, but M ichaelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s laughter alw ays makes him feel only w o n d er.

Michael thinks about this. He kisses Nick and w alks into the living room. Nick sits on the bed. He wraps a blanket around his shoulders. He stays perfectly still, w aiting. A fter a time, Nick hears the electric w hisper of M ichael s typew riter. He hears the first ten tativ e pecks at the keyboard; finally, an aching sigh. Nick waits, m otionless, while a new page opens itself. 'Sjjfct

"Come here," Michael says. He grabs Nick with a squeeze that steals the breath from both o f them. "I do love you, you know," he says. "In my way." M ichael's eyes seem bottom less. From som ew here deeper than Nick can im agine, they flare and dance. 34

‘JL e CAEEING ^O RM ER ^ E C A D E S AN RFD RETROSPECTIVE &

T O § O M M E b R l9 7 8

This Fall’s issue of RFD , # 75, starts our twentieth year of continuous publication. Twenty years is a long time in the life of any magazine. The Short Mountain Collective is especially proud to be a part of the RFD tradition. From the very first issue in the fall of 1974, RFD has been put together by an odd assortment of fey men (and a fey woman or two) who volunteered their time and creative energy to make RFD a reality. Over the next year we plan to celebrate this Twentieth Anniversary by Recalling Former Decades. These next four issues will feature a retrospective of RFD : its development and growth, how it has changed, what were the issues, who were the people. We also want to remind you that we have many copies of most back issues available for those of you who wish to flesh out your collection. Looking back on the first years of RFD has proven very interesting, especially in light of some of the controversies that are still with us. The question of whether RFD is really a country journal and what that means was covered in the first issue's collective statement. They said: We hope to break down the feeling of isolation from things gay that many of us experience in rural settings, to build some sense of community among rural gay people and to provide the means of sharing with each other our thoughts, feelings and ideas about our unique experiences as gay country people. The idea of involving lesbians with RFD , which was mentioned in Issue # 74, was also of interest to those who initially worked on the journal. The first collective statement notes: No women have contributed material for this first issue, but we hope it is not so maleoriented/dominated to prevent lesbians from using this magazine for communication with each other. And perhaps, with the Earth as our common ground, we can begin a much needed dialogue between gay women and men. However, the men who put together Issue # 3 state:

"[S S U R S

1 6

all production, layout and financial support is provided by faggots. So far, most of the feedback we have received from our Issue # 74 Reader Survey indicates that most of you still want RFD to remain a gay men's magazine. Another bit of RFD history concerns Mother Earth News (MEN ) the alternative country magazine. We have reprinted a rejection letter from Issue 1, received after a member of the collective requested to place an ad in MEN which read, "Country isolation, need to share, especially among gay people . . . "

A REJECTION TH E M OTHER EARTH NEW S ...it tells you how fsix times ■ year) Ju n e

25 , 19714

Stew art S c o f i e l d Malcolm H e i g h t s C o l l e l t l v e R.D . # 2 Malcom, I l w a 50157 Dear S t e w a r t , Many t h a n k s

fo r your l e t t e r .

We h e r e a t Mother have a g o n i z e d , s o u l s e a r c h e d and ar gue d w i t h e a c h o t h e r r e g a r d in g th e running o f P & S l i s t i n g s f o r gay p e o p l e . The outcome o f a l l t h i s was a d e c i s i o n — v e r y much a g a i n s t our p e r s o n a l b e l l e f s - - t o make I t an e d i t o r i a l p o l i c y n o t t o run s u c h l i s t i n g s . We c o n s i d e r o u r m e ssa g e t o be t h e most Im por t a n t a s p e c t o f t h e m a g a z in e and— u n f o r t u n a t e l y — many o f o u r r e a d e r s are not y o u n g , h i p , open -m in d ed f o l k s , but are l i t t l e old la d les in ten n is sh oes. Have a happy d a y , Nancy Blrfiop f o r THE MOTHER EARTH "EWS

P.O. BO X 70. H E N D E R S O N V IL L E , N O R T H C A R O L IN A 2 8739

The most important realization we came to was that RFD is and should be for faggots. For us this means that all material used is created by faggots and 35

We are happy to report that a recent phone call to Mother Earth indicates that they changed this homophobic policy a number of years ago.

AN INTRODUCTION TO S L A B A R T -.

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RFD continued to evolve in its second year from: Autumn (05) Raving Flamers Diary. Winter (06) Red Fire Dancers. Spring (ft!) Rhododendron Forsythia Daffodil, and Summer (08) Raspberries Fresh and Delicious. In this second year the magazine was produced • by three different rural collectives, so considerable space was devoted to articles about communal living. The rural roots continued to be emphasized with numerous articles on homesteading. With issue 07 RFD moved its home from Iow a to Oregon. RFLJs second year of production demon strated a niche the magazine filled. Several letters were received w-hich affectionately detail what RFD meant to its readers at that time.

With Issue ft 2, Winter 74, the production staff increased from seven to eleven individuals, with five of the original group still involved. Layout also moved from Iowa City to Eugene, Oregon. By Issue ft 4, Summer 75, only one of the original collective members was involved with production and the layout was being done in McLeansville. In Issue ft 3 we found the forerunner of the current Kitchen Queen in Uncle Ned Says, "Let's Eat!" The recipes from that time - Uncle Ned's Dill Bread, Spring Fever Soup and Peach-Apple-Nut Pie to name just a few -sound just as good today as they did then. Forest Shelter, an article from Issue ft 3 which we are reprinting here, is typical of the interests and concerns of those early RFD s. Many of those early issues carried articles about different gay communities, homesteads and communes that were forming around the country: Hopback Commune (Issue ft 1), Elwha Land Project iff 2), Two Tales o f New Sodom and Things That Go Bump in the Night (both in ft 3). There were also articles about growing fruit trees, herbalism, goats and something about mushrooms called Radiant Fungus Declaration iff 4). We also want to mention some other parts of those early issues which caught our attention. The first three issues each had a Color Page of some beautiful picture to be colored in by the reader. There was a short three-act play, At The Pass, in Issue ff 3, Gay Green Thumbs, a six-page interview with two men who live in a small town iff 3) and, as today, lots of contact letters from people all over the country looking for like-minded folks as a part of the burgeoning RFD network.

I want to return to the land that raised me and leave the city that now holds me. In your pages my recurring gay loneliness recedes, con crete becomes open fields, buildings a forest, hope a reality. And I know now that even on the rolling plains of Kansas there can exist what I need and w ant All of it is here, the struggle, the sharing, the rewards, the people. It wants only to be bom. RFD, you are everywhere and the people are everywhere too. Thank you for being. You are as Braille to my still sightless hope. Greg, Topeka, KS

I’ve spent most of my life within twenty blocks of Bloomingdale's and nature has been a philodendron on the fire escape; but your spring issue of RFD is a terrific inducement for kissing the city good-bye. Arthur, New York, NY When I read RFD for the first time I had the feeling that therein was a lot of pure love. I gather that most of you are a lot younger than I. If there had only been a light like yours when I was growing up my head would have been screwed on a lot better. Jack, San Francisco, CA

As you add to each season a new RFD my hopes and dreams of a country life are renewed. I read the pages for perhaps the third or fourth time and. in so touching the lives and worlds of so many, 1 rejoice for having found you. For so long I thought there were no people who wanted a gay country and communal lifestyle.... That era was dead I was told. It wasn't the gay thing to do.

...R F D is one of the only publi cations that has ever really "touched my life style." I am a faggot struggling to live an honest and non violent life outside the ghetto of my conception. There is a great deal we have to say and give each other, we who love mother earth and brother man. The gay city ghetto may make us appear marginal; but if survival, restoring a respect for the harmonies of nature and learning to love one another are still important, then we rural faggots are on the front line. Sandy, California

intensely did have its after effects at times... The hay harvest was post poned, and the summer garden failed to get planted because the production of RFD was foremost on our minds. The serious, rather intense atmo sphere prevailed in the house most of the time... Every day we all gathered around one table and discussed what we were doing, what each one of our feelings were toward what we were doing and toward one another. It was a rather warm, dry May which had at least six men constantly working away to put out a magazine for the unity of country faggots every where...

Even with the obvious need for RFD, the collectives involved, both in Iowa and Oregon, struggled with each new issue. As a newly-formed reader-written journal, lack of material to include was a problem, along with the perennial concern of having enough money to print each issue. More than once the collective relied on the generosity of one member’s inheritance. What appeared to be the greatest hurdle was the interpersonal dynamic of collective living and relationships within the collectives. The collective statement, titled "Getting Laid," in Issue #1 addresses some of these problems. Not only was there a lack of material, but at the same time the magazine was moving from Iowa to Oregon. The boys in Iowa decided "they needed to do other things." The folks at Butterworth Farm in Massachusetts produ cing issue til write: The transition from Iowa to Oregon has not been happening gracefully, and as a result we have felt confused and even wondered if all this effort is going to see the light of day. We hope that RFD will con tinue to happen, and we urge country gay people to try to find a little time to contribute work to the magazine. Much of what we received for this issue comes from city people who identify with the spirit of RFf>, it's fine for RFD to reflect the exper iences and feelings of its urban readers, but if the magazine is to remain a country magazine, people who are actually doing the country trip are going to have to make some time to contribute articles, drawings and photos for use in RFD. "Laying Out” in Issue tiS continues some of these thoughts and observations: We were planning how things were going to be. Finally there were six or seven of us sitting together going over stories, articles and poetry, expressing our individual feelings how each article or poem touched us. Many times we were split and things were tossed around for hours... From time to time someone dropped in to inspire and help keep our spirits high, and adding more ballast to the magazine. Being together in a new farm and working

The focus of RFD as a journal for country faggots continued, with many dreams of that life becoming manifest. Several collectives or communes were involved in the early years. These groups -- in Grinnell, Iowa, Wolf Creek, Oregon, Elwha. Washington, and Butterworth Farm, Western Massa chusetts - were pioneer gay social experi ments in the back-to-the-land movement bom out of the idealism of the late Sixties. Some of the issues that arose out of these collective living situations were expressed, throughout the second year, in a series of taped conversations transcribed for the magazine. In til, produced at Butterworth Farm. "As the Butter Churns" was a dialogue between community members discussing what it was like living in a group setting, as well as chronicling the evolution of their community.

Artie: There's a lot of different kinds of situations that exist between groups of people. And lots of times it’s really helpful to hear about how other people are getting on, and how they relate. It seems like five or six years ago people started out like we did, in the sense of wanting to all live in the same house and wanting to do pretty much everything together. And it seems like our group has changed in lots of ways from that initial conception. I think most of us feel a lot of that change has been good in the sense that we all have more freedom and our own space and we can still relate together. John: The direction we've gone in getting further apart physically is better because it allows people more freedom to express their own personality. It gives us more auton omy. And yet we're close enough physically to be able to get together without any trouble. Also. I’m feeling more of a sense ot community w ith a lot of people around here. Artie: When you live with people in one structure, and when you're really doing a lot and working hard and don’t have that much time to relate to each other and be sensitive to each other, unfortunately there gets to be lots of tensions. Building the houses and getting the money together to buy the land, and all that, meant we had to work a lot more than our heads could take a lot of the time. And now, with the separateness that we have, hopefully we can begin getting through a lot of the scars that came from living with each other in a small space without much time to deal with each other sensitively. Allen: Even though I recognize the advantages of the separation, 1 still feel a lot of disappointment, because the idea of a larger number of people living together and doing things together has so much to recommend it, in terms of being able to accomplish work together, being able to share equipment, being able to share something like the same amount of fuel to heat a space that houses more people. But a lot of that's theoretical. In practice, for example, it’s hard to share tools, because different people have different ways of using tools or caring for tools. It was even hard to do a garden together, la st summer we had four separate gardens!... Sometimes I feel that the inability to do it all together comes from an unwillingness to compromise, and that's what bothers me. That's why I feel a sense of loss about it. Bobby: Steve and I are burned out as far as living with groups of people in the same house. It's just too much to deal with. 1 don’t want to have to deal with the specific problems of how somebody cleans up their toothbrush after they’ve brushed their teeth... that little petty stuff that

various projects. Each week a different person has control to decide what he wants done on his day. We hope this article will shed some light on what our lives are about.

%o H*iu 1 v doesn’t mean anything, but after you're living with people for a while in certain spaces it starts to be a problem. I just don't think it's worthwhile. I'd just rather be in a house by ourselves and be able to relate to people on more meaningful levels and deal with more meaningful problems than that kind of stuff. Artie: A lot of the letters we read in RFD talk about people's alienation and loneliness from living in the country. Of course, here we really support each other. But aside from that, we've felt really good with the contacts we've had in the area, not only with people who, you know, are culturally the same, who are our peers, but, you know, the old Yankees in the area w'ho have really helped us out so much. It just seems like the atmosphere here is such that we can do whatever we want with our private lives. People have seen what we've done with our energy. We're working hard for what we believe, and people really respect us off of that. And it's felt good. Allen: Well, one of the things, again, that we all agreed on even before we bought the land was that we were not going to move to the country with a "we/they" approach to people, that we’d be open to getting to know people. A lot of the things that you learn in the city, like acting toward people in a confrontational way, just don't work. The following issue, #$. was the first to be produced on Creekland in Oregon, continued in the same vein.

Carl: Well, I've been feeling alienated all morning, and not liking people. George: You know I feel that in you Carl, and I sort of have an understanding of how you feel that way. But my feeling is that you do belong here. In principle and well, I just feel you here. I think that's partly the vehicle of workday. And we’ve defined a way in which we're a community and in that way all of us at different points go through not feeling part of the community. I feel that you're in that place a lot. I don't want to get into particulars; with you, and work day doesn't bring up those situations. Samuel: Well, I think that's important and yet I think if there are feelings that happen during work day they should be talked about at some point, maybe at the end of work day. I'm curious though why you don't want to get into these feelings. Carl: It's just too much. It's just not what I want to be doing with my life. Samuel: But I think that we’re all going through changes. It’s just a matter of how much we all want to deal with each other in terms of those changes. I think that Carl has a right not, to. London: I feel funny about work day sometimes because sometimes you, Carl, and Allan work real hard up at our place. I try to not worry about it but try to emphasize the fact that I want it to be a relaxed day when a lot of things get done but it's not real pressured, pushing yourself. And it's real hard working with Ed because he overworks and I just felt real guilty when l was working with him because I felt the whole day that I was underworking. Carl: There's sort of a tight line about being oppressive by work ing too hard. Allan and I have that prob lem all the time. My work energy makes him feel incompetent and not wanting to work anymore. So largely we don't work together, but when we do work together, it's real loaded, and we have to design it real carefully, stop and talk and kind of work it through.

This tape was made by a group of gay men all living in Wolf Creek, Oregon. The reference to workday refers to a clay once a week when we get together'to help each other on

Community (common unity) was a thread that wove through RFD and bound it together. Many people for the first time were discovering the joys and hardships of living together -- or simply coming together, as in the Northwest Faggots Gathering the summer of 1975, which may have been the first gathering of its kind. I was so high those few days that I was oblivious to arty kind of nega tivity. I wanted it to be like a good dream, and so it became just that During the days and nights of the gathering, we met often in one large group to plan a format of some kind. We sang and shared our thoughts. Down by the river we built a sauna. There was folk dancing and so much food! Some of us collected mussels. We discussed couple-ism, practiced yoga, went on hikes, and read our poetry, which moved me deeply. Most of all, I made new friends. Steve, California A group space in Philadelphia called Rutabaga House shares the higfy. they exper ienced living collectively. I find it hard to write into words the exhilarating feeling we received from working together, whether on a festival, cleaning house, throwing a party, or making a day in the country out of a trip to Ridley Creek to fill 40 jugs with spring water. So many magic moments, never forgotten - in times of high spirit between us, we were more sensitized to each other, a feeling that remained once the "cheap high" subsided. It was as if we developed a "mother's touch" with each other, always able to tell when someone was troubled. After a hard day, "so good to be home." Keeping the house charged with good energy provided a nice space in which to center ourselves. Along with joy, burdens were shared, our strengths and weaknesses. By pointing out each others' times of spacing out, our work on ourselves was facilitated.

RFD continued to be the light that many people needed in order to see their way to their dreams of a simpler life. The second year was full of many suggestions for how to make that life happen. Articles on home steading took many forms. In a single issue one could learn about how to build a podtype structure AND a yurt, rent a film on dome building, build a folding desk, or read about "Shit." Other issues featured: "Recipe for a Small Cabin", which outlined in detail (including a materials list) how to build a simple living space; "Gardening With Fairies" explains the benefits of companion planting, moon sign gardening, and drawing on the spirit world; the self-explanatory "Buying Land is Easier Than You Think". "A Look at the Collective Kitchen" in Issue #6 has Ric detailing the most effective way to deal with a collective kitchen. "Some of the roughest times for collective living situations center around getting the shitwork done. And cooking, dish washing, and cleaning up the kitchen are usually on the top of the shitwork list. Any "meeting" on the matter ends up in arguments over who’s not doing his share, who’s the worst slob, on and on....half of people's reluctance to pitch in may be due to the kitchen

In an effort to find out who the readership was, the first RFD reader survey appeared in Issue #5. The response was great: 276 returned! Issue #6 listed some of those responses. The question "What subjects would you like to see in future issues?" elicited these replies: "More on personal liberation"; "More on gay spirituality i.e. witchcraft and the mother’ goddess"; "More experiences of men who came from the city. How they lived through the first year."; "RFD could do an issue on RFD . That is, tell us how it got started, who puts it together."; "Alternative methods of healing." Issue #8 presented more survey analysis. It is interesting to note where readers lived. Nearly half were in big cities; only one fifth responded as living in the country. To the question of drug and alcohol use (especially interesting in these days of the ’’War on Drugs") over two thirds of the respondents said they used marijuana, three fifths used alcohol and nearly half used both. (These were separate questions, so the answers total more than 100%.) The median age of respondents was 25, with the heaviest concentration between the ages of 22 and 31. Issue #8 was again wrought with financial crisis, prompting the first Financial Report. Well, Pansy, Here's the dish. A financial statement, cuz you gotta have one. (And I must say only the most pressing need could drive me to do all the number games necessary.) We hope if you know RFDs, financial shape, you will seriously come to our aid. We will stop publishing with this issue if we don't get some dollars and cents help..,. We faggots and visionaries, whether political and/or spiritual, must learn to support and nourish not only each other, but also the institutions, the culture, the art, yes, the magazines we create. Not only must we, but we gotta. And we could say, "The rest is history," since RFD made it through that financial crisis (and several others). But wait! The excitement continues!

The eclectic zine-like quality of RFD is what attracted many of its readers. The collectives chose to include articles on a broad range of topics, not limiting themselves only to articles on homesteading. Issue #6 featured several articles on children, one titled, "Kids are Those Little People You Belong W ith.” Some included confessions of intergenerational love, still an issue today. In #5 an essay entitled "the gayswho are we? where do we come from? what are we for?" was presented by The Circle of Loving Companions of which Harry Hay was a member. The article, appearing as it did in 1975, during the early years of Gay Liberation, is informative from an historical perspective, (see side bar)

An excerpt from "the gays-who are we? where do we come from? what are we for?" by: Harry Hay In Summation To be a true homosexual is to be born with a set of genes that puts us at odds with home, school, and society, whose cultural ritualizations are to us alien. We are so other that we have to learn early how to protect our very survival. Since conformity has few rewards for us, we learn and learn and learn ways o f being and doing and loving that they know not of, while at the same time we leant their world and its unconscious assumptions with the kind of clarity that is given to outsiders. Unknown to them, we cherish our singular vision of love and beauty within our hearts and we grow to mind and awareness in the light of our own truth. But, the world that we see beyond, through our Gay window, calls us to engagement and responsi bility. To find our way to the high levels of knowledge and under standing where we know we are embraced in human tradition truly and fully in our own right, we are forced to struggle ceaselessly and with utmost alertness through an unmapped world full of traps and hazards. (Among these is an invitation to self-betrayal particularly cruel, the "gay ghetto" with its agony under the tinsel, dealing out death to the spirit but surfaced with glamour.) For those of us who refuse to trade our independence for the comfort of acceptance in the herd, the way leads arduously and joyously on to Gay consciousness: Gay love. Gay life. Gay vision, and Gay creative self fulfillment. At last, looking at the world around us, we give thanks to our stubbornly perverse genes. It's a Gift to be Gay! Good for us, in itself, and by our works Good for Humankind.

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In issue ft 8, Summer 1976, a letter from a San Francisco man criticized RFD for not dealing with the political aspects of gay oppression. He derided what he perceived as the magazine’s counter-culture consciousness and orientation toward middle-class white men who "can indulge in the luxury of an alternative lifestyle."

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"While you produce issues with cute little dome houses nestled under a starry sky and silently covered with a fresh blanket of snow on the cover, we are busy in this so-called ’gay Mecca’ trying to get it together to just survive a bus ride without getting hassled on the way to the park. . . . No organic gardens or macram6 plant hangers will ease our situations."

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,m irpZ lK M .W wm w M ,ieyetf.frem r&6k NWM&uweh'ic« w wm oRHenyrriwMct the&tf ft'#* X ?r*W(, * M f inorefm,cm p>rs Mpiets » 'W ’ rppfW t* rr INTOYtvf'foMe ro 6 0 *g ' mxooyww.mM? on political issues and hoped to "develop a viable all-encompassing Milieu," another preferred a much more limited purview. . . . RFD is not a political pamphlet and, I believe, was not intended to be one. It is a gay-oriented, back-to-the-Iand magazine for those who are there, hope to be, or just want to keep a finger on what’s happening. It should be involved with helping people contact other people and with providing information about areas of the country, both good and bad, about methods and aids for those who are starting, and about those o f us who are serving as examples. While this reader’s insistence on an undefined "Socialist Feminist revolution" as the only viable method of social change was clearly identified by many rebuttals in the Fall Issue ft 9 as the limited political view and epithet-flinging it was. these responses -printed under the rubric Rhetoric and Reality - also helped focus questions about the magazine's content and audience. Where one subscriber welcomed the "greater dialogue"

The question of whether Urban/Rural is a dichotomy or a continuum seems to have been with this journal forever, and always avoiding simplistic resolution. Issue ft 2 was specifically sub-titled A Magazine fo r Country Faggots; Issues ft 3 and ft 4 bore the more inclusive motto For Country Faggots Everywhere.. It would not be until #12, in the summer of 1977, that RFD again appeared under a self-descriptive label, and

For historical background: The first six issues of R F D were printed, collated and published in Iowa, printing done by the Iowa City Women's Press. In addition to collating those six, we did layout of three of them. The Northwest collective laid out three with the help of others, and have published the two most recent copies [Issues #8 and 9]....[T]hey were our severest critics....There were differences of politics and opinion. We in Iowa felt a certain West Coast elitism as regards us (Isn’t that where they grow potatoes?). There were also social and class differences between some of us that we felt were not taken into account....There were suspicions from both sides which drained vital energy from RF D. We forgot that we were doing something none of us had done before. -- Ollie [Issue #10] 42

then begged the whole question with the legend A Country Journal By Gay Men. A publication which depends upon its readership for most of its content may be doomed to a continual identity crisis Perhaps it is enough to say that the issue is a hollow one, more perceived than real. Clearly the one concept that has remained at the center of all these definitions is "country," and during its third year, RFD continued to emphasize rural content On a practical level, there were articles about using mill-end lumber for heating and construction, managing a goat dairy, hot water systems for wood stoves, turning a bus into a mobile home, making simple clothing, vehicle maintenance and healing with herbs. Issue #11 (Spring 77) contained the first appearance of Confessions o f a Kitchen Queen, providing a personal focus on natural cooking and a department title which, in abbreviated form, still is used today. Another current department, Brothers Behind Bars (originally Behind Bars ) began in # 10 (Winter, 76) as a tentative idea to reach out to gay prisoners. If there was a lack of response, the feature would be discontinued. By the next issue, the inundation of requests forced the editors to begin selecting for publication only those letters which they felt would be of interest to rural RFD readers. By Issue ft 12 there was a priority to provide space for prisoners to speak to each other and to the outside which has continued to the present.

On Labor Day weekend in 1976, The Wolf Creek Collective hosted 140 participants for a Faggots and Class Struggle Conference on the Creekland. In the heady crucible of ’70's alternative culture, politics were not only personal but intensely earnest, in a way we would not see again until the forceful AIDS and Queer activism of recent years. Critiques of the conference in Issue #10 describe it as "an intensive and foresighted direction never before examined on the West Coast" and pronounce that "It is ridiculously hetero for two faggot 'lovers' to live alone on several acres of land . . . Privileged faggots have to MOVE OVER and share their resources."

The discussion became a blowout confrontation as politics became personalities. There was some confusion as to R F D policy and what it was. (The production group changes each issue with an accompanying change in attitudes.) There is continuing controversy as to the editorial role of the R F D staff, especially as pertains to politics. We encourage feedback as we struggle to define this further. — Issue #11

With Issue # 11, the magazine began a series of theme issues. The first was Machinery and our love/hate relationship with it. #12, Summer 1 1 , was a spirituality Issue, a delicious stew of varied traditions. Peyote Spirit, Electric Consciousness, Sharing the Mysteries and Spiritual Soapbox were some of the articles. And those who believe R F D 's traditional rural roots have been usurped by an "alien" growth of Faeriedom in recent years will be well surprised to find Faggot Shaman and Faerie Consciousness all over the pages some sixteen years ago. Draw ihrwj panti

Letters from Issues # 9 & 10. 1976 T W 8

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One detail of RFD policy from this time shows how earnest political beliefs could be transferred into individual action. In an attempt to help undermine the nasty, rampant "-isms" of gay culture, the collective announced they would not publish height, weight, race or age in the Contact Letters. The noble experiment began to crumble just six months later, when ages managed to sneak back into personal descriptions. But the letters continued to be open and impressively free of the social/sexual supermarket style which can slip into the Contacts all too easily nowadays.

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lUrou j A• During these exciting years of RFD 's development, it is in the collective statements and individual diary entries that we are given the fascinating details of the journal's editorial history. It is a story of continual inter-personal struggle and growth which can only be quoted inadequately in this limited space. Especially insightful is Webb’s depiction of the Iowa-Oregon transition in Issue # l l , entitled. Difficulty at the Beginning: a Wolf Creek Journal. By the end of its third full year of publication, RFD was still in a monetary crisis, over $1000 in the red. The cover price had risen from the original 50 cents to $1.25, still a ridiculously small figure by today's standard. But fairy magic made a little go a long way, and miracles continued to happen. 43

Being on the collective of this bookshop, 1 see and read most of the world’s gay print, and of those, yours is the one I feel a strong rapport with, the only one I look forward to. . . .Until I read RFD I was the world's #1 Amerikaphobe; I didn't really think there was much more to Amerika than big, dirty cities, big dusty Wild Wests and big brash multi-national businessmen. Well, now I know there are some really beautiful people and places I could love. Lots of love, Quentin, Dr. Duncan Bookshop Hyde Park, S.A., Australia I know my age group is outnumbered by the young. I hoped there’d be rapport between us. As a minority, we should be much closer, instead of all this "youth cult." I say ridiculous, because, take the hundreds of ads in gay papers such as Advrx:ate and the younguns are crying out for stable relationships, having sickened of the bars, T-rooms, etc. And it is we that are older, that in most cases can offer this stability. There are a few younger guys that visit me occaisionally and we get along well. If only they lived nearer! At the beginning I got some friends to subscribe, and they've all been very disappointed in the results, so I hesitate to recommend RFD to older guys and those who especially want country articles. Hope things improve and that you can give some consideration to us that are older, also those of us living in the country and not fantasizing about it from the city. Love and peace. Rod Lyons, OR

Issue 12: A Collective Statement At the Faggots and Class Struggle Conference in Wolf Creek last fall, some of us talked about having a faggot healers celebration. So some of us in the Bay Area started meeting together to talk about it. By February the group had become a circle of three, and the fantasy of a healing conference died. Jada, Howie and Larry visited a lesbian tribal home in the country...feeling tribalness... interconnecting circles...seeing nurturing loving struggle... politically involved, not isolated,., pushing for changes but holding each other up so we don't fall. Back in S.F..., feeling real high. Chenille arrived from Wolf Creek and was invited to join a circle of ten faggots and lesbians for Candlemas/Brigid’s Day celebration...an opening, sharing time for us. Some days later, up on a roof top we (Jada, Howie, Larry and Chenille) recognized the tribal connections between our Bay Area community and Wolf Creek...tried to connect the two circles. Conference fantasies were abandoned tor more personal connections...So why not come together around the next RFD issue on spirituality. We decided to spend a weekend together to get a better sense of each other’s spirituality. Problems arose...other S.F. faggots feeling excluded, their wanting to have input in RFD not taken seriously. A d a le was called to clear these feelings and it ended with Jamal being included with those of us wanting to go to Wolf Creek. Meanwhile Steven from Wolf Creek was in S.F. and he and (’henilie got together...Chenille brought up that he had invited the Bay Area men to Wolf C reek. Steven was excited with the possibility, but warns Chenille about making plans before clearing them with the RFD collective, ( henille left S.F. promising to write the Bay Area four about the collective's reactions to his invitation. Chenille comes home to Wolf Creek paranoid and crazy, fearing criticism around his misuse of power. The shit hit the tan., much mess...others in the collective felt mistrustful...resentful...having to decide about working with four new people...fearful about whether the RFD circle and the Bay Area circle could mesh...a lot of confusion about what people really wanted, but the feelings seemed favorable to all of us working together. Chenille wrote to the Bay Area circle expressing this but emphasizing "that a final decision was still to come. When Chenille’s letter arrived, plans began to be made for the journey north to Wolf Creek. We Bay Area faggots continued meeting weekly., ritual plans, what to wear who we’d sleep with, sleeping bags, food, where wed camp on the way up...friends to say goodbye to, fobs to leave, rent to pay...basicemotions were aroused about leaving our homes, community, commitments. We wrote Wolf Creek saying we were looking forward to coming. Back in Wolf ( reek, there were furthe problems. Some of the real fears am reservations began surfacing., the collective began to realize they had to give up thei expectations and begin a new process o deciding about working with the Bay Are; men, based on their real feelings at th< time...nobody was going to get exactly wha they wanted, but everybody realized that the} felt good about working together and tha compromises would have to be made two ol the Bay Area men would come. A letter waj sent off.

This letter arrived in San Francisco and we were plucked! Anger, anger, why did they lead us on for so long...it was only 2 1/2 weeks before we were supposed to leave...why are they so afraid of us? A group of city sissy exCatholic anarchafeminists were so threatening to them? Oh! now we felt scared to meet them, too...all our feelings and plans seemed discounted and Howie was angry at the Creekers and the San Franciscans for being grouped with the Catholics (he being Jewish) and with the city faggots, having just moved to Berkeley from the country. We couldn't imagine breaking up our circle so that just two of us would go...no one wanted to be one of those two...we wrote that it was all of us or none, at least for the first week, then make a decision collectively...call us as soon as you know what you want from us. Steven arrived back in Wolf Creek and expressed interest in working on the spirituality issue. We got the angry letter from

S.F.///freak out...fear, joy in some quarters...we capitulated in the best interests of RFD . We saw the need to share the power held in our being so connected to the magazine...Chenille called S.F., Come for a week, we ll see how we d o " The Bay Area men arrive. The circle opens. I he four are greeted enthusiastically by some and with stony silence by others. This is the history of the coming together of the spirituality collective. Needless to say we had much to work through. What follows is an attempt to relate some of the magic, pain, joy of our living and working together during the four weeks of RFD production. A slow beginning, time to feel each other's energy...the Bay Area men and Chenille slept in his tipi the first week..developing, among other things, a sexual dynamic (dynamic sexuality?)...the cuddles..morning centering ritual...and general dish session: attractions, roles, fantasies and nurturance issues. Personal history circle starts us off, talking about our spirituality..."the way we feel the spirit ....political differences.... discovering our unities. 44

As the Bay Area men merged more and more into the day-to-day inner workings of the group here, things got pretty heavy. By the end of the first week, we need a feelings circle..it was called. Hearts of stone. Hearts hearts, hearts...heart images had been everywhere all week...people wearing red heart jewelry, talking about the sacred heart, about bleeding hearts, opening our hearts, about giving...but now it was hearts of stone Chenille had found a stone shaped like a heart...passing it in the circle it felt cold...difficulty speaking from our hearts. Chenille began a litany that came to him from the spirit of some bones he came across in the woods ~ wolf bones?...heart of the wolf, have mercy on me...heart of flesh, have mercy on me...heart of Larry, have mercy on me...heart of Len...Steven ...Jada...the tears began flowing, the stone heart grew warmer as it was passed around and worked its magic on our hearts. The next day...Mayday...ritual musical procession to the Big Maple Tree...the Maypole Tree...we circled around as musical intensity built...we passed the magic herb...consecrated the holy altar at the base of the tree, to the Aztec Sun Mother - Our Lady of Guadalupe...then danced like a snake, our hands joined...to the spring to visit the shrine that Jada created...Faygele arrives at Magdalen to live and to type this issue. Another personal dynamic to integrate into the process. Work begins with a short meeting to divide tasks up among ourselves. Smaller sub groups to work on articles, poetry, graphics Struggles around our politics and spirituality became intense. The RFD work took over our lives., barely enough time to deal with our sexual tensions, sexual politics; but not willing to let them be neglected either...plagued from the start with colds, crabs, scabies and pinworms, poison oak, syphilis, and just when we thought we'd had it all, the clap. It put a damper on some people's sexuality. We occasionally needed time to be in some other space...a different form of release...there was a party...others from nearby came...cake and wine, tequila and dope. Lots of dancing...time to expose different sides of ourselves time to play...one of us missed the last part of the evening...too much tequila...we got to play nursemaid. Layout began...as did the late nights. Many worked until 4 and 5 am., a good time to be centered in the work...rain, rain, rain, ten ot us together in a one-room house...craziness, tension. As layout began to draw to an end and three of the Bay Area men started to think about leaving, we saw the need to circle to evaluate our time together, to write about it for these pages. We came together on a sunny afternoon in the meadow...Faygele has a lock ot hair cut by Chenille to pass as a ritual object and we begin...some of us write while others talk...about having grown, about resentments, about the historical details of our coming together to work...peeling back layers of ourselves and finding more to struggle with than we imagined. Three days later, Jada, Howie and Jamal left for San Francisco...it was hard letting go. Larry stayed with Chenille, Steven and Faygele to finish up...then Steven and Larry are off with the magazine to the printer in Portland. RFD #12 Production Staff: Howie, Chenille, Jada, Steven, Len, Samuel, Larry, Jamal and Faygele.

R FD rn year four (as before and since) was undergoing rapid transition and redefinition. From "A Country Journal by Gay Men" (#13, 14) it became "A Journal of Gay Culture and Liberationâ&#x20AC;? (#15, 16); som etim es it had a "collective statement," som etim es a "staff statement" and som etim es none at all; its material manifestation started the year on newsprint and moved to a heavier magazine stock; its geographic hom e shifted with each issue (two different locations in Wolf Creek, Oregon; Klamath Falls, Oregon; and San Francisco); and only one issue that year, #13, had R FD serve as an acronym: "Recruiting Feminist Drakes." (Huh?)

The earnestness with which authors grappled with the political implications of personal issues, as well as the personal implications of political issues, is striking from the vantage point of jaded post-m odem 1993. Issue #13 examines the them e of aging. "How can we do an issue on aging?" the staff (as they called them selves in that issue) asks. "'Some of you are young.' Well, aging is a process that affects us all, that we're all involved in." So, folks young and old (well, older) addressed the them e in a variety of ways, including a profile of Sam, a seventy year-old gay man in Western Massachusetts, an announcem ent for the "G40 Plus Club," a how-to article on dowsing for water, a skill author Allan Berub6 (who later went on to help found O U T/LO O K magazine)

learned from his grandfather, fiction about intergenerational love between a young adult and a forty-five year-old man ("The days he spent here were made bright by his presence, like a child's visit to Grandpa in the country"), and much political analysis, like this excerpt from Steven's staff page essay By making youth into a sexual com m odity we devalue aging and at the sam e time, place enorm ous strain on those w ho are 'privileged' by their youth and limit their possibilities for growth as whole people. It w ill require continued struggle to free ourselves from these alienations

RFD

Issue #15 was the small towns issue. It to o is a mix of political theory and intimately personal experience. The issue was produced in the Oregon town of Klamath Falls, population 17,000, and carried com panion essays entitled "Why I Left," by Candor Sm oothstone and "Why I Stayed," by Richard Pastega, which articulate a painful dilemma familiar to many R FD readers then as now The small towns theme issue also includes a terrifying story, "Defiance," by Bill Walker, about the murder of an out gay man in Billings, Montana, which prompted the police to investigate not the murder but the local gay community

Why I Stayed It is possible to be gay and live and grow in a small town. It is more difficult to be openly gay and not becom e the symbol of homosexuality for the community. Nevertheless, this "professional homosexuality" is a phase and will eventually fade. In the m eantim e it is exciting being part of the great changes occurring where I live. Howard Brown in his book, .Familiar___ Faces. Hidden Lives. discussed his decision to settle in New York Q ty in order to accom m odate his hidden life. The lure of the city has been overwhelming to many gay people. The collecting of gay people in cities has resulted in the building of a strong gay identity Yet, until we make it safe and attractive to live anywhere we want we are not liberated Richard Pastega "(The police have] obtained a large list of 'know n hom osexuals' and have promised to step up harassment of the gay community A similar murder in that city a decade ago caused a mass exodus of gays to Denver, Minneapolis and the West Coast, not unlike the Boise

A montage image by Jai Elliott From R FD #14, the visual issue 45

incident of the early fifties. Again, the them e is underscored. Leave town. Leave the state. M ove to the City. I don't know any gay person in Montana w ho hasn't had to face this issue. The migration generally takes two forms; those who leave permanently, usually at an early age, and the larger group of us who leave and com e back again and again Self-destructive? No way! But destructive, certainly. Because whatever forms our rationalizations may take, it is DO! the beauty or excitement or opportunity of the city that pulls us It is the pervasive and very real fear of violence coupled with the constant pain of rejection, that forces us out. Issue #16 focused on w om en Its cover featured a photo of two wom en, and it included poem s and photographs by women, as well as a campy homage to recently d eceased Susan Hayward, a reverent hom age to Marge Pierc/s Woman on the Edge of Time, and a bibliography on feminism and sissie effeminism. The bulk of the issue, however, w as filled with gay men's sincere explorations of their relationships with w om en Lawanda Rose's essay, "A Time Apart," excerpted below, addressed the issue of separatism: The only support I recaved as a child was from wom en I was a sissy and did not fit into a traditional male role Men shunned me and were disgusted with m e Boys saw me as someTHING to revile and beat up W omen protected me and nursed my wounds. This became the basis for what I call "the sissy dilemma " that is, you tum to wom en for love and to men for sex not a very

rewarding process for anyone concerned... A lot of hatred and anger toward men is still there but hatred and anger always seem to have another side- love. I am trying to learn to love myself and other men for the first time in m y life... So far I have not been overly encouraged in struggling with men but I have been encouraged in learning about myself as a man and about m y commitment to go on trying In finding the support of other sissy men like myself, I found a gold mine and a new kind of faith. N o longer do I feel alon e Aside from the Visual Issue, #14, the R F D s of year four were all

highly political. Letters to the editor were split between those with even loftier political dem ands ("It is frightening to open R FD and see the ambivalence and political apathy"), and those which complained that the political focus had displaced the country emphasis ("When I see the political shit you print I get sick"). A letter in #15 opened a dialogue which rages on today. "I feel put down by sissy consciousness," the letter stated, "and I find it oppressive I am not a sissy. I am tall, broad and strong I like to play sports; I have a preference for blue jeans; I rarely wear drag I'm not saying any of this to brag it's just the way I am. And while I do not put anyone down for being a sissy, I am tired of being put down by sissies for being som ething else...Sissy fascism is just as bad as any other kind of fascism!" RFD invited responses and received them. Issue 16 featured

From R FD #16: The Two Larry Hermsens, photos by Carlotta Rose 46

five pages of letters plus a special section entitled, "Sissy/Butch: a forum for readers' com m ents on editorial perspective." R FD responded to these heated responses with two photos of the sam e man in contrasting drag get-ups.

"Sissy fascism is just as bad as any other kind of fascism!" On the subject of photos, it is interesting to note, especially in the context of the ongoing controversy about NAMBLA ads in R F D , the presence of photos of naked boys in many issues of this period. When these photos appeared 15 years ago, apparently there were no legal

Dear RFD, I am originally from the west coast and know that is where it's at 1 W h y , it's even hard to catch gonorrhea in the midwest! (the coast has a good supply.) After reading the "new" . im proved Ronko RFD, I have a sub mission which should suit your paper well! (Please see RFD #1 1974, page 13).

WHITE WEST- ] COAST CA&ABflCE

3#u«r It has all the same qualities as your paper. (West Coast oriented with no use to country folks). By the way, I went through the last RFD and found this:

48 p ag e s t o t a l 7 pp. letters (2/3 — 1/2 from the west coast) 4 pp. ads 12 pp. poems, photos, and articles from other places than the west coast 25 pp. solid west coast garbage

repercussions and not a single letter of com m ent was printed. Today, it seems likely that a gay magazine featuring photos of a naked underage boy with his penis visible would be seized by postal authorities, and by reprinting one of them here (even covering it— and ourselves) we virtually guarantee ourselves reader comment. With issue #16, the RFD Northwest Collective bid the magazine farewell. "At this point, those of us who have been the RFD collective are tired and need space away from the magazine. As w e stated in #15, the time has com e for the magazine to pass on to another group. The last few months has seen us expending the last of our collective energy to produce issue #16 and to transfer the magazine as gracefully as possible to a new collective." And off R FD went, southeast to North Carolina.

Also issue #12 has showed me that whites can be Indians tool Al though whites have murdered, raped, destroyed, starved, and cursed the Indian peoples to the ultimate, pages 8, 18, and 23 indicate they need only strip off their clothes, glue on a few chicken feathers, and dance around naked with a hard-on. Ta dal Instant Indian! What a wonderful world it is when ego-maniacal greedy white children can become all that their ancestors murdered in an instant. Golly gosh boys, deal me i n ! My priorities must be really fucked. Here I thought farming was important for country folks, but n o , RFD wouldn't hear of it. Too many West Coast problems to write crummy poems about. Please inform me if this will not be printed, for I didn't have the money to mail it from the West Coast. According to the odds from the last issue, I would have 3 times as much luck getting it in if I lived there. Thank you. Arnold J . Cornbelt Midwest, NE Routs 1984 Sticks, MS

Letter from R FD #15.

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I I

From "The Bath," a photo essay by Candor Sm oothstone in R FD #15

A CO UN TRY J O U R N A L % R GAY MEN EVERYWHERE SPRING. SUMMER. FALL. WINTER

COUNTRY

LOVERS

The graphic art work of Allan Troxler has graced the pages of RFD beginning with the first issue. We have created this collage to honor him and his many contributions to the journal over the years. Thanks Allan.

® A COUNTRY JOURNAL ® FOR G A Y M E N E V E R Y W H E R E SPRIN G. S U M M ER . F A L L . W IN T E R

"In quilting, as in life, an important part of inner growth is an understanding and appreciation of the heritage of history, and the traditions of American patchwork, which are rich in lore and legend." The word "Quilt" originally came from the Latin word which translates to stuffed sack, mattress, or cushion. Today, the word quilt generally refers to two or more fabrics which are held together with stitches. However, quilts—especially those made for everyday use-are tied together. It is not possible to determine exactly when quilting was first practiced, but we can assume that it was the result of the discovery that when two or more layers of fabric were stitched together, they were stronger and warmer than the individual pieces. A statue of a Pharaoh of the Egyptian First Dynasty carved around 3400BC shows him wearing a quilted mantle. Early quilted clothing was often used to protect soldiers in battle. However, quilting was eventually employed to decorate clothes, a trend which could be seen in some nineteenth-century men’s fashions. Coats and jacket linings were of quilted satin as were the turned-back collars, cuffs, and lapels. Dandies of the day wore their coats open in order to better show off the lining. Today, quilted and embroidered vests are especially popular among women. cu lcita

Embellishing quilts with embroidery was done as early as the seventeenth-century. In E n g lis h H o u s e w if e , which Markham published in 1615, "instructions would seem to indicate that there was an attempt in quilting to achieve an embroidered effect. Contemporary fabric artists often combine embroidery with other embellishments such as beads, buttons, lace, and other small objects to enhance the beauty of quilts and quilted wall hangings. It has been suggested that today’s quilters "often seem to be motivated by a strong urge to create something of lasting value, even a masterpiece in which the values and traditions of the past are incorporated within a validly contemporary work." In modern American society, quilting is often associated with women’s work and there have been recent attempts to recapture women’s history through quilt study. While it can not be denied that quilting was generally the primary responsibility of women, men and boys often took an active role in quilting. In a frontier society where laborers were in short supply, boys learned to sew and were expected to contribute to the household needs. Quilts which are specifically attributed to men are rare. Yet, we know that Jacob Shaffner of Little Sawtooth, Pennsylvania signed the quilt he made in 1890 and John W. Tcary pieced a quilt in 1830 when he was only seven. Evidence exists which shows that General Dwight D. Elsenhower and his brothers helped their mother piece quilts. Another President who quilted was Calvin Collidge who was cutting blocks for a Bay Blocks Quilt when he was 10 years old. And George Brownell, in the August 20-27, 1716 Boston N e w s - l e t t e r advertised that he could teach quilting. Fiction, likewise, records the experiences of boys who quilt. In J o h n n y Lip a n d J o h n n y D o w n , Mabel Leigh Hunt tells the story of a Quaker mother who taught her son how to do patchwork in order to refine him. Although Johnny was pressured to finish his quilt, he became a hero when the quilt was utilized to capture a rampaging ram. The idea that values are transmitted through quilts Is also a theme in T h e Q u ilt T h a t J a c k B u ilt which Annie Fellows Johnston wrote in 1904. In this book, Jack’s mother tells him that she will pay him one cent a block to piece a quilt for her so that he could earn money to by a riffle. After getting the neighborhood boys to help him, he finished the quilt in just two weeks. His mother had not yet collected her turkey money; money that she would not get for several months. But because mother had told him that she would pay him the very hour he finished, in order to obtain the money, she cashed in a cherished gold piece which her father had given to her.

My father, Lorain, teaching my nephew, Alex, to build a split rail fence and the split rail fence quilt which warms my bed.

Years later, when Jack was at school, he was preparing to go out drinking with a group of his friends even though he had promised his now deceased mother that he would not drink. As he was getting ready for the evening’s adventures, he saw the quilt and remembered how his mother had kept her promise to him. lie, therefore, resolved to keep his promise to her. Passing on family tradition has been a vital part of the American quilting experience. Pioneer work ethic stressed that nothing could be wasted. Tills was likely as much a result of the poverty with which the pioneer families found themselves as it was from the Puritan religious tradition which has dominated American culture. Even the smallest pieces of fabric could be pieced together into quilts. And this fabric often came from clothes worn by family members. A piece of clothing might have a 30 year life span before it became part of a quilt. An adult might wear a shirt for several years before the usable parts would be cut down into children’s clothes which would then be cut down into baby clothes. Baby clothes might be made into curtains or used for rags before the fabric became part of the quilter’s scrap bag. Ore wunan describes the joy of going through her scarp bag because it helps her remember her family. "D if f e r e n t o n e s o f m y f a m i l y a r e a lw a y s a p p e a r in g f r o m o n e o f th e s e h a g s.

When I quilt, I typically work in smaller pieces using crazy quilt techniques because I particularly love the embroidery work and other embellishments. Part of the joy I acquire from quilting is that it connects me to people who are special to me. I designed a piece on which to feature the lace which Loma gave to me. There is the fabric which George sent to me from Japan and the designers samples I obtained from Tim and scraps which a former student thought I should have. Eric bought buttons for me at an auction and Christopher gave me buttons for my birthday. When I use these and other cherished gifts, I am united with these people. Eric’s mother gave me some antique quilt blocks which I will piece together into a full sized quilt for everyday use. With each stitch, I will be united to her and to her son and to our shared friends. This coming Winter, when I drift to sleep under the quilt, I will merge with Eric who lives in another state. The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt draws its power from the long tradition of passing on one’s heritage in one’s quilting. The potency of the Quilt comes from the fact that "each quilt panel has its own tale, and it is the richness, humanity, and vital nature of these many and varied stories that together compose the greater story of the NAMES Project." Rather than commemorating illness, the panels are "stories of courage, fear, and anger, and mostly, they are stories of love. They tell of people who worked and played, who laughed and fought, and who are finally remembered." As with the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt, quilts throughout history have celebrated major events such as birth, death, marriage, and the separation of friends who moved West. Nineteenth-century magazines designed for the rural audience made little mention of quilts and carried no patterns, "an indication that for those readers, it was no more necessary to discuss how to make pieced quilts than it would have been to describe how to fill a pail of water." Quilting patterns were passed from mother to daughter. A woman who saw an interesting pattern might immediately piece her own block in order the pattern.

J u s t w h e n y o u th o u g h t y o u ’d

f o r g o t t e n s o m e o n e , w e ll, lik e r ig h t h e r e .. .I r e m e m b e r th a t p a tc h . T h a t w a s a d r e s s th a t m y g r a n d m o th e r w o re to c h u r c h .

I s a t b e s id e

h e r s in g in g h y m n s , a n d th a t d r e s s w a s so p r e tty to m e th e n . j u s t r e m e m b e r h e r in th a t d r e s s n o w . "

I can

Another woman describes how she is connected with family when she uses her quilts. " It's so m u c h f u n to p ic k u p th e s e q u ilts a n d se e e v e r y b o d y ’s d r e s s e s in it. O h , h e r e ’s o n e o f m in e w h e n I w a s s ix te e n . M o th e r s a v e d p ie c e s f r o m e v e ry d r e s s s h e e v e r m a d e f o r m e; w hen

I g o t o l d e r sh e g a v e th e m

to m e to m a k e a q u ilt. "

Recently, 1 purchased a flannel quilt. My experience tells me that each piece of flannel was from a shirt which the quilt maker made for one of the men in her family. The importance of quilts as conveyors of family heritage was recognized by Alice Walker in her brilliant "Everyday Use." I he short story focuses on the relationship between a mother and her two daughters. One daughter, Dee, had left the poor rural area in which she grew up in order to live in the city. There, she takes the name Wangero Leewanika Kemanjo in order to better identify with her African roots. In the story, she complains that her sister and mother don’t understand their heritage. Yet, it is Dee who only views the handmade quilts as objects to hang on her wall, not as items whose value comes because they can be used; items whose use passes on the family heritage.

THE FAMILIAR SQUARES OF FADED PATCHWORK MET Hlb EYE**

Patterns often reflect the world in which the pioneers lived. It has been suggested that the American’s quintessential quilt pattern is the log cabin because it depicts an image which was all too familiar on the American frontier. "Both the quilt and the cabin came to symbolize those perceived qualities of self sufficiency and individuality historianFrederick Jackson Turner would choose to identify as integral to the American character." Tradition holds that the center square in the log cabin is to be red to symbolize the hearth which is the center of the home. Other common quilting patterns included the rows and furrows, the school house, various star patterns, and the split rail fence. During the last two years, my father built a split rail fence to protect the family herb garden. He obtained cedar trees from the neighbor’s swamp which he cut into the proper length before splitting them. My mother was so impressed with his efforts that she made a quilt using the traditional split rail fence pattern to commemorate his efforts. At night, I sleep under a quilt which is a variation of this traditional pattern. In future Issues, I will discuss how friends are remembered in specific types of quilts. I also hope to incorporate the stories about your experiences in quilting, so please write to me.

REFERENCES FOR ARTICLE Colby, Averil. Quilting. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1971. Cooper, Putricia and Norma Bradley Huferd. Tht Quilters: Women and Domestic Art. New York: Douhleday, 1977. Duke, Dennis and Deborah llarding, Ed. America's Glorious Quilts, New York: Park Lane, 1987. Fox, Sandi. "Comments from the Quilt." Modern Maturity (Aug.-Sept., 1990): 58-

63. Holstein, Jonathan. The Pieced Quilt: .4/t American Design Tradition. Boston: New York Graphic Society, 1973. Johnston, Annie Fellows. The Quilt that Jack Built. Boston: L.C. Page & Co., 1904. Ruskin, Cindy. The Quilt: Stories from the NAMES Project. New York: Pocket Books, 19X8.

FLOW ER BASKET n in e p a t c h

"Gentleman’s Choice" will appear as a quarterly column in RFD. The column reflects my own interest in the rich history and tradition of quilting as a community activity. Not only would I like to see the column encourage an appreciate for the stories behind the quilts we use, but I would like it to facilitate the collection of the experiences of gay men who quilt so that our contributions are not lost. I encourage the readers of RFD to send me letters describing your experiences with quilts and quilting. You might write about quilts you make or which were made for you. Experiences which feature a quilt or took place on or under a quilt would also be nice. I would also welcome pictures of you and your quilts which I could use. Don’t hesitate to let me know what you want to see in "Gentleman’s Choice."

Steven L. Berg 675 Oyster Road Rose City, MI 48654

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| —

i r

i c

r c

i v

r r ?

W hen v a lle y ,

p r-csco rcci b y CJo<xc S o y

p la n ts .

th e

tw o

e x ile s

K i k u o ’s f i r s t C a r e f u lly

cam e to

ca re

th e

litt le

w a s f o r th e

he d re w

th e m

green

im p ris o n e d

fo rth ,

t r im m in g

th e s to c k s a n d r o o ts a n d p la n t i n g th e m w it h s lo w ca re in a s p o t w h e re / t h e s o il w a s r ic h a n d fe lt th e w a r m g la n c e s o f t h e s u n a ll d a y lo n g . “ Y o u , to o , h a v e c o m e i n t o e x ile ,” s a id he.

“ M ay

y o u r b le sse d s p i r it s p ro s p e r a n d g ro w , b r in g in g jo y a n d c o m f o r t t o m y b e lo v e d l o r d ! ” T h e s p ir it s o f th e flo w e rs g a ve a b e a u tifu l a n s w e r to

K i k u o ’s lo v in g ca re .

F ro m

th e v e ry f i r s t th e y

t h r iv e d as th e y h a d n e v e r d o n e in th e o ld g a rd e n in th e

p a la c e g r o u n d s .

S t a lw a r t a n d r o y a l- lo o k in g

s te m s p u t f o r t h , each se a so n , g r e a t g o ld e n a n d b ro n z e g lo rie s t h a t r iv a le d th e v e ry s u n a n d m o o n in lu s te r , a n d n e w faces o f c h r y s a n th e m u m s , n e v e r b e fo re seen

OLD MAN CHRYSANTHEMUM

in J a p a n , c a m e s ile n t ly i n t o b e in g in th e l i t t l e v a lle y b e lo w f ile s n o w -c a p p e d p e a k .

(From the Japanese)

IK U O

was

th e

i s u g a ru .

f a it h f u l

s e r v a n t o f h is

lo r d ,

W h e n he w a s n o t w a it in g o n

h is

t im e

th e

tw e lv e

r o o ts

b e ca m e

th o u s a n d

a n d , r a n k o n r a n k , s t o o d lik e a s m a ll a r m y h o ld in g

m a s te r , he w a s t e n d in g th e m u c h p r iz e d c h r y s

u p t o h e a v e n a m y r ia d o f g o ld e n s h ie ld s .

a n th e m u m s t h a t g re w in th e m a s te r ’s g a rd e n .

and

o u t a m o n g th e m , as f a it h f u l t o t h e m a s t o h is o ld

S o o fte n w a s th e g r a y h e a d o f th e s e r v a n t seen

m a s te r, w e n t K i k u o th e tire le s s o n e , a n d T s u g a r u ,

b o b b in g u p a n d d o w n a m id th e g o ld e n a n d b ro n z e

f o r g e t t in g h is e x ile in th e jo y t h a t c a m e t o h i m o u t

b lo s s o m s t h a t p e o p le b e g a n t o re fe r t o h im

o f th e s u n n y fie ld s , s lo w ly fa d e d a w a y a n d d ie d in

b y th e

m im e o f K i k u o , w h ic h m e a n s in J a p a n e s e , O ld - M a n C h r y s a n th e m u m .

th e m o n t h a b lo o m .

N o w i t h a p p e n e d t h a t T s u g a r u , le a d in g t h e e m p e r o r ’s fo rce s, w e n t o u t t o b a t tle .

when

th e

c h ry s a n th e m u m s

A f f e r he h a d g o n e , K i k u o

T h r o u g h tre a c h

e v e r a m id th e flo w e rs .

w e re

f u ll

la b o r e d h a r d e r t h a n

“ N o m o n u m e n t c a n I ra is e

e ry , he w a s so b a d ly d e fe a te d t h a t h e a n d K i k u o

to h im

v in e c o m p e lle d t o flee in th e n i g h t in t o th e re m o te s t

g lo r y

p a r ts o f th e k in g d o m .

w h o le v a lle y b e ca m e f ille d w i t h w o n d e r fu l b lo s s o m s .

T h e re th e y h id th e m s e lv e s

w h o h a s g o n e ,” s a id he, “ g r e a te r t h a n th e

o f th e

flo w e rs

he lo v e d .”

S o, in

t im e , th e

a w a y f r o m m e n in a l i t t l e v a lle y t h a t la y lik e a g re en

T h e fa m e o f ( h e ir w o n d e r s p re a d f a r a n d w id e u n t i l

la p b e tw e e n th e t w o knees o f a g r e a t s n o w -c a p p e d m o u n t a in .

e m p e ro rs s e n t t r u s t e d s e rv a n ts t o p u rc h a s e ra re sp e c i

B e fo re le a v in g

th e

o ld

hom e K ik u o

d e re d w h a t he c o u ld t a k e w it h h i m

had

m e n s a t th e p ric e o f m a n y g o ld e n c o in s a n d ge m s.

w on

B u t th e d a y c a m e in la te f a ll w h e n K i k u o lin g e re d

t h a t h is m a s te r

o n th e v e ra n d a o f h is h o m e .

lo v e d m o s t a n d t h a t w o u ld c o n tin u e t o be a jo y t o h im even in h is e x ile . H o rs e s , s o rro w .

H is s ilv e r sh e e p w i ll p e ris h o n

llis

c o s tly

ra n k .

ro b e s w i l l

b e tra y

o u r s e cre t t o

H i s fin e s w o r d w i l l m a r k h im

m y m a s te r,”

th e w a y .

h e a v y g o ld e n g o n g w ill s lo w d o w n o u r f lig h t ,

eyes

p r y in g

W h a t th e n

s h a ll I c a rry t h a t w i l l c o n s o le m y lo r d ? ” J u s t th e n K i k u o d o o rw a y .

g la n c e d o u t t h r o u g h t h e lo w

th o u s a n d

g o ld e n

and

b ro n z e

c h ry s

a n th e m u m s n o d d e d a f r ie n d ly g re e tin g t o h im . th e s o ft

m o o n s h in e

s w a y in g

th e

f a it h f u l s e r v a n t.

th e y

breeze.

seem ed lik e “ H is

litt le

f lo w e r s ! ”

fa irie s

c rie d

th e

“ I l i s b e lo v e d flo w e r s ! ”

Q u ic k ly K i k u o r a n i n t o th e g a rd e n . fla s h e d here a n d fla s h e d th e re .

he s a id , “ I c o m e t o y o u . ”

w a n d e re d

out

o v e r th e

g lo r io u s

T h e n h is

fie ld s

w h e re

th e c h r y s a n th e m u m h e a d s n o d d e d in th e breeze.

as a m a n o f

A ll these w e m u s t le a ve b e h in d .

H e w a s o ld a n d b e n t

H i s h e a d w a s lik e a s n o w y b lo s s o m

a n d h is o ld eyes b u r n e d w i t h a n in n e r lig h t . “ T s u g a r u

s a id K ik u o , “ w i ll d ie a n d b r in g m o re

lb s eyes.

u n d e r h is y e a rs .

H is s p a d e

I n a m o m e n t he h a d

“ W o u ld tw e lv e

th a t

r o o ts

fro m

h a ve been b o r n . ” am ong

th e

t a ll

c o u ld w h ic h

co m e b e a r in g a ll

th e sa m e

these flo w e r c h ild r e n

C ommunity S p ir it

A s h e s p o k e , th e re w a s a m o t io n p la n t s

b e fo re h im

e lb o w in g a w a y t h r o u g h

as o f s o m e o n e

a n d , o n e b y o n e , tw e lv e

b e a u tifu l c h ild r e n r a n o u t o n th e g re en la w n b e fo re th e ho u se . K ik u o r u b b e d h is o ld eyes, th e n s m ile d a q u e e r, s a tis fie d , k n o w in g s m ile .

“ B e a u t if u l a re y o u , m y

c h ild r e n ,” s a id he, “ as th e m is t m a id e n s w h o d a n c e b e fo re th e s u n

at dawn.

B e a u t if u l, a ls o , is y o u r

g o ld e n a n d b ro n z e c h r y s a n t h e m u m h a ir . ” “ We

are

th e s p i r it s

le a d e r o f th e l i t t l e

o f th e

c h ild r e n .

us w it h

a lo v e s e c o n d o n ly

S p ir it .

W e h a ve com e to

we s h a ll g o w i t h y o u t o

flo w e rs ,”

“ You to

s a id

I t^s a F am ily T hing

th e

h a v e c a re d fo r

t h a t o f t h e G re a t

t e ll y o u t h a t t h is n ig h t

Dial-1 service 24-hour customer service Call anywhere in the world 100%) Digit;il FiberOptic Network Free calling card w hen away from hom e Just like you hive now, with a difference

th e g r e a t c o u n t r y o f th e

s p i r it j u s t as w e ca m e w i t h y o u t o t h is v a lle y b e tw e e n th e l u lls . ” “ I t is w e ll, ” s a id K ik u o .

“ M a y G o d b e p r a is e d ! ”

T h a t n i g h t K i k u o d ie d a n d a t t h e s a m e h o u r a c lo u d ro lle d d o w n f r o m th e p e a k o f e v e r la s tin g s n o w . Iks ic y

b re a th

s tiffe n e d

th e

b lo s s o m s

th e

fie ld

t i l l th e y r a n g lik e fin e g la s s a t th e p a s s in g o f th e w in d . de ad .

W h e n th e m o r n in g ca m e , th e

flo w e rs were

B u t s o m e w h e re o n th e h ig h s u n n y h ills th e

L esbian & G ay P h o n e L o n g D istance

s p i r it o f K i k u o m e t h is m a s te r T s u g a r u a n d sh o w e d h is h a p p y eyes th e tw e lv e s p i r it s o f t h e flo w e rs .

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PAETRY Feel Yes. I would hear that song se n s e the p resen ce feel the sp irit w hether d iasp ora entered my vocabulary or not

^ Ra pe

For its m elody drifts across d ista n ces broader than ocean s The p resen ce pervades populations scattered sp arsely over seven co n tin en ts

Would I se n s e th is rape Had 1 never v isited Africa Never met an A frican Did I sen se diaspora long before I heard it nam ed Could 1 have b een spared

V itality is the legacy m y parents hum m ed in lullabies com forting m e on r e stle ss n igh ts rea ssu rin g w h en nick n am ed "Sambo" by w hite acq u ain tan ces

What m ade the Nile sin g Or trained my ears to hear Its m elody ring clear

Yes. I would se n se her w ith ou t ever go in g there A s the devout bow to M ecca M other Africa is the pole m agnetic to w h ich I ever turn

I could be M ossi, Kikuyu, Fulani, Peul, Tonga or another If I only knew the language And se n se d the h istory tradition and respect Every A frican toddler know s

R o bert

Eorl P e n n ,

T^berl E<arl 'Penn, <Jr. dr.

...A n d P e r h a p s 5 o m e W in e to C le a r /^ y T h r o a t The stereotype o f harps'n'haloes H alleluia heaven w as not expounded to me in so m any w o r d s -lik e m ost societa l norm s, it's p a sse d on alm ost telepathically. It's w idely ridiculed, n o w -a n d yet, I have no doubt there are ad h eren ts to the Old S ch ool of Hereafter. My Reward is subtly different: if there truly were a god who w ish ed m e happy in eternity, he w ould provide (I u se the m a scu lin e a d v ised ly n otw ith stan d in g all respect due w om en, any deity I'd ack n ow led ge 'Omni' m ust be m ale) e n d le ss rows and ranks and crow ds and hordes of m en w ith one desire: to sin k their cock s into m y throat and plant their seed. C oncom itant to this, a thoughtful god w ould sm ooth my teeth (or pull them out), stren gth en my m andibulars, and pad m y knees. To su ch a god, yes, 1 w ould gladly kneeL

5 cc>H C$'\-\ara

T on igh t lying in a sin gle bed I recogn ize ju st how divine I am and w onder that the world or its representative does not rush to w orship m y throbbing godhead.

A. 54

\Jera

W e 5 t o f IKe

Im a g in a lio n

W est of the im agination lie s the sacred land, and I on sum m er days subtracted grudgingly from the heavens' tim eless count, w andered lost and lonely. Searching w ith stained glass vision for w ords of liquid w isdom m y cup I held before me, always in hope of inspiration's chancy fill or the M use's fickle bounty. Still she calls and still I hear, though now w ith b leeding ears the wild sw an's cry holds n eith er grace nor comfort.

A S <ame Called T^ape

West of the im agination flies the sw an v o icin g her secret th ou gh ts over a sacred land w hich hold s them tight again st her bosom .

in my grandm other's livin g room my brother and 1 played a gam e called Rape. We attacked one an oth er with clen ch ed fists and elbows, w ith a hold called T he Claw. And I see my eigh t-year-old brother standing h alf naked and red in spots;

L yd ia n

B a g g m ^ -A c a p u lc o

underw ear torn and loose, thin legs, k n ee s b ent and locked, small testic le s sh ow in g like egg-sh ap ed E aster ch ocolates. He threatened to crush m y skull and I said I'd cut off h is cock as he beat me against a wall like a rug full of dust. When we could go no farther, we stood back to view the v ictim sâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; two lost children left a lo n e panting and w ondering w hat cam e next. My co u sin caught us; she said we'd grow up and m ake perverted real as J e su s. Our m other n ever knew our gam e. What I saw and con tin u e to see: the sexual object o f m y brother, flawless, palatable and sw eet our m im ic resurrected, h is head on strangers' b o d ies flecked w ith h is freckles. I am unable to d ig est h is im age, eating entire streets o f men.

PH A W R A T H

deff W alt

Candor

fr o rr^

5rn o o th 5to n e

"R F D I 5 5 u e 5

* 9 -1 3

Here is a little ex ercise for you if you would like to have a vague idea of what it tak es to hold th is pain at bay I w ant you to rem em ber two th in g s the m ost pain fu l p h ysical experience and the m ost pain fu l em otional experience you have ever had in your life now try to hold them both at the sa m e tim e for four years now you have a slight idea w hat it is like to have AIDS although your pain has healed m in e continually renew s itself and I can't m ake it stop so if I ask you to hold m e for a m om ent so I m igh t rest u n d erstan d now w hat I m ean

P o u r U n title d P o e m ^ by E u g e n e *R. IRouhier

Please m u st th is be the way it is threshold is su ch a m islea d in g word hold what lim it o f pain what is a lim it and w hen cro ssed what is the relief

Am I d ep ressed that d ep en d s on your standards or m ine by your definition I should be paralyzed by my definition it is a good day I no longer en tertain th ou gh ts o f h ap p in ess I w ish only not to fall to desp air to be functionally d ep ressed is all I can hope for so I can live longer so I can lose m ore o f me

Once w hen I w as a young m an I sat in m y room for a very long tim e I w atch ed a s the dust settled I w anted to m ake it stop a s the dust settled I cried into m y pillow I sh riek ed at m y in activity a s the dust settled slow ly I saw the dust and got up one day to clear the dust a little again I sat again the dust settled I ask ed m y self "Why did you do that" I answ ered to rem ind m yself that I could there is n othing I can't do if only I want to if I don't then who cares but me so I got up again and w ith alittle effort m y room w as in order as m y life w as soon to be until the dust settles for the last tim e 56

SPIRITUALITY B Y DAN L E A T H E R M A N

Our Summer '93 column evoked a “bicoastal" response: John Steczynski, an artist from Massachusetts, and Bob Barzan, editor of WHITE CRANE NEWSLETTER. San Fran cisco, both sent thoughtful letters. To begin this one. we share excerpts from each. Also, the graphics labeled Steczynski” are photo-reduced from a series of John's work, “Meditations on an Iconography for Chthomc Grief " JOHN WRITES: While...names have a kind of importance, I think people in general place too much of the wrong kind of importance on them. I understand Tom Stama s antipathy to some names (I have my own), but feel shar ing religious experiences (like Amos Marie's altars) is more productive and nurturing Actually, the word I hate used in this context (apologies to both Tom and Dan) is spirituality ’’ I'm not a spirit, and don't feel it ’s proper to strive to become one Essential to being human is having a body, which is more than a container of breath. In the cosmos, humans uniquely bridge spirit and body. We are both and have an awareness of both. I probably have as many grievances as anyone with historical/institutional Christianity, but haven’t found for me a better formulation than its mcarnational/sacramental basis. Things are sacred because they embody and manifest spirit in their very matter. Amos seems to understand this. Anything that separates this unity is for me false and creates serious problems. What is generally called ‘ materialism" shows no real respect tor matter (disposables, pollution, etc ). At its basis it is really anti-materialism—or could we call it the wierd other side of spirituality'? A major thing Christianity has struggled with, is still unresolved about and scarred by. is the spirit/matter di chotomy...|'m an artist. Trying to manifest the spiritual in the physical is my primary ritual I also do altars, both at home and as set-ups for my drawing classes 57

I've offered no alternative name Basically a Christian in a qualified way, I also identify with paganism and have no serious problems with that name despite its origins In the end, no label is really adequate for what I believe, do, or am. Naming/definmg may partly meet our need to understand more fully who we are. but religions begin to lose their essence when they defme/doctrmalize their beliefs rather than celebrate them {Ed : John, since I didn t choose the word “spirituality.” you needn't apologize to me. Short Mountain supplied it with the "job description"! But what could replace it? Perhaps it's similar to what Churchill said about demo cracy as a form of government--"lt's the worst except for all others tried To me. focus on the "spiritual" doesn't need to ignore/exclude "embodiment ' I agree with you on the incarnational/sacramental basis of Christianity Ancient Jews saw the material world as good not because God indwelled it pantheistically but because the one God (Pure Spirit) CREATED it During the Babylonian Exile Jewish monotheism was influenced by Persian dualism (eternal struggle between good/evil) which Christianity inherited in modified form: but the Church, despite its incarnatiomsm, really embraced the spirit/matter dichotomy by using Greek philosophical language/concepts for its early dogmatic formulations However, I wonder whether being the spirit/body bridge is uniquely human. Cant other species contribute also"? Within nature, humans defensively define ourselves by our uniqueness (as do Christians among world religions) OVER AGAINST others, rather than emphasizing common alities or seeing whatever uniqueness we may have as our contribution to the “stone soup” bubbling in the common cauldron of universal knowledge/experience Come to think of it. we gays tend to do the same thing, but as the Summer 93 column noted, whatever our uniqueness, it’s

not merely for self-indulgence but for the social good ] BOB WRITES: Thanks for mentioning WHITE CRANE NEWS LETTER in the latest RFD I appreciate the exposure and am pleased you find inspiration in it. My own struggle to define spirituality continues In my article on native spirituality (WCN #17), I begin to explore the concept of "unhealthy spirituality." If spirituality is whatever in creases our ability to love, forgive, be generous, live authentically, etc., then unhealthy spirituality would be whtever decreases that ability—e g , Fundamentalist religion as a spiritual path breeding hate/intolerance. These are new thoughts for me People usually assume a biased view that spirituality is always good. It's not -th a t's becoming more clear all the time. Do you have any thoughts on this? I'd enjoy hearing them. A letterto-the-editor in WCN #17 argues no spirituality exists apart from all we do in life; the way we live IS our spir ituality If so. since gay men learn to love by relating to other men. gay spirituality DOES exist! Does this make sense? What do you think? Is spirituality more about the PROCESS of learning to love/hate. about the GOAL, both-or neither? Let s keep pushing this Thanks for raising it in RFD

After this column was sent to RFD, we received another reply to Tom Stama's critique of “pagan." Fortunately Layout was still able to insert it John Yohalem, with ENCHANTE': THE JOURNAL FOR THE URBANE PAGAN (NYC) submitted "Pagan I Am":

[Ed Bob, I agree "spirituality" is an objective neutral term linguisticaly that can have healthy or unhealthy forms/effects Too often we use it only positively— like saying someone has "personality" if we like them (or attitude if we don't); these really are also neutral terms linguistically However, liberals—to say nothing of autonomous/anarchistic F a e rie s-fin d it difficult (or politically incorrect?) to label others' views/actions "unhealthy,'' Nazism and Fundamentalism may be excep tions. they foster spirituality few of us see as "healthy." The distinction logically flows from defining spirituality as whatever increases/decreases certain moral values, of course, we could still argue whether specific attitudes/ actions are positive/negative

I've called myself Pagan since I was building temples to various gods/goddesses on my bureau top at age eleven. The word is very acceptable Originally "countryperson,” theologically it refers to nature-based religions in con trast to those that focus on the soul, afterlife, and some unknowable, ineffable, dubiously real Creator. ..Stama ob jects because the word is "derogatory ” To whom? To early Christians who used it for “country bumpkins who still practiced sexual rituals of the Earth”? Who made them boss—our boss? Leatherman notes many words of derogatory origin have been reclaimed...No word for my religion would be acceptable to narrow-minded mono theists: not all are that, but why bow to their prejudice?

In your article on "Native Spirituality," I also found the concept of "spirituality of place" very helpful Most of us moderns not only spend too little time in Nature, but move too often to put down roots, to learn to love/care for the people as well as the flora/fauna of a locale Moreover, too many who move from the East or Midwest to the semi-arid West never accept desert landscaping but insist on having the kind of plant life they know, ir rigate profusely, and upset the ecological balance I read recently that something's radically wrong when suburban lawns look the same in Las Vegas as in Boston! Ancient nomads moved, of course, but mostly within limited fa miliar boundaries, not transcontinental^; in fact, they moved precisely because of their close ties to the lande g , following the seasonal cylce seeking food/water for themselves and their livestock I enjoy this kind of conversation with you. and sharing it with our readers Yes. let's keep it going ]

Stama says. "Were neither believers in false gods nor foolish. I II buy that, but it's not what Pagan means. He also says it means “not Christian, Jew, or Muslim,” then decries its negativism. Again, to whom? To those three groups? Why let them define him? If Christian is ' Non-Jewish believer in the Jewish god.” does that make it negative? “ Spiritualist means trying to communicate with the dead—THAT really doesn't describe me or my many Pagan friends If Stama doesn't want to be anything some Christians don’t like, he should give up being gay [Ed Can we all agree we should define ourselves, not let not let others do it? But if we need (or want) to commun icate with people for whom "Pagan" is a red flag, can we find a word that at least allows us to begin talking? That needn't change who we are or what we believe Wasn't this Tom s basic (if unstated) premise? John, your points may be valid but your tone seems (stereo?) typical 'New York 58

star" I d discovered with the aid of my pink triangle cap -harsh, snide, argumentative-more like VILLAGE VOICE or NY NATIVE than RFD; but we can take a bit of "urbanity"!] Louise knitted at the Mountain-whom I told you about at the May gathering and cut short my stay there to v is itproved to be only a passing comet “whose brilliance but SPIRITUALITY FOR "ORDINARY TIME” briefly brightened my western winter sky," though his powerful temporary deflection allowed me to escape the Gaia's seasonal cycle can be a metaphor for four-phased binary system in which I was orbiting toward entropy. spirituality--planting, growth, harvest, and rest, while the Christian "church year" is basically bifurcated: the Finally, like the promise/fulfillment gap in Clinton's first half recounts Divine actions-Advent, Christmas, "end to the ban on gays in the military," my hope last Epiphany, Lent, Easter, Pentecost-as KAIROS (holy) spring to be formally accepted as an openly gay member time; the second evokes/nurtures response to the events of a local Mennonite congregation is eroding into doubt as Christians live daily in CHRONOS (ordinary) time. as we move to final discussion/decision this fall. My reaction to a possible "Nay" vote is already written as Gaia's followers may find planting/harvest exciting; an added stanza to Bob Dylan's "Blowin' in the Wind": but what about the long hard work weeding/watering during summer growth—or worse, depression/boredom HOW MANY AISLES MUST SOME POEPLE WALK DOWN during winter rest/darkness? If Christians feel spirit BEFORE THEY CAN JOIN A CHURCH'? ual only for "holy" days/seasons. might- they experience YES. AND HOW MANY YEARS MUST THEY TRAVEL ROUND "letdown" or "disconnect” during ordinary time? How do UNTIL THEY CAN END THEIR SEARCH? faeries (or gays generally) find "spiritual maintenance" OH AND HOW MANY DOLLARS MUST THEY GIVE TO MAKE between Short Mountain semi-annual Gatherings, annual OTHERS SEE THEY HAVE OTHER GIFTS TO SHARE? Pride parades, or once-a-decade Marches on Washington? THE ANSWER MY FRIEND IS BLOWIN IN THE WIND, Must one be a "festival junkie" (as I once heard someone PRAY THAT IT WILL SHOW GOD S LOVE AND CARE call himself) to maintain a "spiritual high"? Consider a three-fold "plan" to redeem (not just survive) ordinary time: 1) In your regular routine, try to be both more aware of ordinary things themselves and more alert to serendipities that may "intrude." Schedule time (daily, if possible) to relax/reflect—morning walk, meditation, journaling, bedtime prayer, etc—when you can ponder their meaning for your own “inner journey." 2) Regularly share resultant thoughts/feelings with trusted friends for “communal nurture ” 3) Accept/create opportunities for external witness" to spiritual realities in your life that foster self-growth while educating others. Once when my first lover and I were buying groceries, a three-year old being carried by her daddy kept pointing/shouting, “Those two men are shopping together!" That scene will always remind me how early in life are heterosexist norms/assumptions instilled, but what a wonderful title for a book on gay male relationships' ln 1989, returning by train from SF, Len and I were seat ed in the dining car across from a hetero-couple. After some small talk about other trips we'd taken together, fhe woman asked, “ Are you brothers; you wear wedding rings; where are your wives when you travel like this? 1 gleefully snapped shut the “trap" I had not intended to bait “We have no wives; the rings symbolize our com mitment to each other!” Was the moment of silence that followed to honor our commitment? Both they and we experienced memorable spiritual growth that day! Personally, | ’m ready for some ordinary time Thus far, 1993 has been highly stressful. After six years, Len and ! separated in May; he bought my half of our property, and 1 found another house alone Then that Colorado “rising

Speaking of prayer, heres a spiritually refreshing per spective on PRAYING HANDS, originally a genuine work of art shamelessly transmogrified into a prime example of religious kitsch: The model for the famous engraving by the 16th century German engraver/pamter, Albrecht Durer, is usually described as the artists "long-time friend" in frequent Sunday School retellings of how both wanted to become artists, but lacking money, agreed one would work while the other studied Durer studied first, but by the time he finished, his friend's hands were too gnarled/crippled from hard work to pursue a painting career, so Durer did the engraving as a tribute RESEARCH HAS SHOWN THE TWO MEN WERE LOVERS! “There s delight in discovering that a traditional overused Christian icon of piety is also a memorial to the love of one gay man for another " How many heterosexuals would make such a sacrifice for [merely] a friend? —Adapted from a 1988 AFFIRMATION (gay Methodist) newsletter [READERS, for this column, we solicit both original contributions and responses to what the editor or someone else writes,]

RFD #8, Summer ’76

And It Stoned Me S L IP F O R M

O W N S T 0 N E H O U S E U S IN G T H E E A S Y M E T H O D . B y K a r l a n d S u e S c h w e n k e . Storey

Communications, Pownal, Vermont 05261. 1991. 164 pgs., illustrated 511.95 soft. Reviewed by Timothy, The Gentle Soul I read this interesting little book after developing blueprints from another book that I reviewed in the last RFD, The Octagon House: A Home fo r / by Orson S. Fowler. I decided to build my home out of stone to ensure that the octagonal-shaped house would last, hopefully for centuries, as stone structures do in Europe. It you are creative in adapting this book’s wisdom, you can build other structures such as “pergolas” (stone structures with open areas on the top and sides), obelisks, stone benches, tables, lily ponds, grottos (subterranean rooms with a fountain or a pool of water), follies (the construction of ancient-like ruins), trellises (stone structures with pieces of wood lathe attached to the top and sides), temples (round structures with pillars and a domed roof), pavilions (rectangular buildings with a pitched roof and draped on all sides for picnics and banquets), large barbeque pits, smoke houses, wishing wells, stone privacy walls, cascades tor streams, stone fountains, barns, garages, and also dovecotes — structures built for doves that are circular and tall with ncf T th,e toP for birds to enter so they may nest. The top has a cone-shaped roof to encourage nesting in the rafters. It you want to build a sundial, a stone base could be made and you could either make a metal dial using a metalcraft manual or buy the metal sundial from an architectural salvage firm that retrieved the metal part trom a broken stone mounting, then set the sundial into your own mounting. J It you have horses or other farm animals, a stone watering trough would be good, because it wouldn’t rot like wood and the animals wouldn’t kick it over. Canned fruits and vegetables could be placed in a stone root cellar built into the ground. Jams, jellies, preserves, and wine could also be stored ^ nd ' y? u want to grow your own mushrooms, a stone root cellar that s deep and cool enough would do the job. Pictured is a blueprint for a large Dutch-style barn with a large silo. The main barn has a stone wall for the first story and then cedar shake J inf ieL ° n the ° uts,lde of the second and third stories. Those shingles should be treated on both sides with the best wood preservative available. I he roof can be of whatever material you can afford; regular roofing is ;’ , u t ‘ yOU™n a^ ord slate, terra cotta, or concrete shingles, that * ? “ld ** be‘ter Rubberized tin is also available for roofs and has a very thick layer of tough rubber that will make the roof last over forty years. ™ i S,L° 1S made of stone all the way up to roof level, the roof being a slllght rounding at the top for a copper cap and the roof bung flared upward at the bottom so a gutter may be attached. CnOUgh t0 ** divided into many bedrooms for r n i.^ n aTd breakfast or as a community house. Incidentally, the column-shaped tree next to the silo is Quercus robur fastigiata’(L), a columnar form of the common English oak. It is a good tree to plant hou^ I ^ n S ' l S u e r

' ' m Plan,i" g " ° " a" SWeS ° f ,he 0C,a80" al

And speaking of planting, there is another book that would be good to have for a person intending to blend garden accessories and furniture with their stone creations. It is entitled The Official Price Guide to Garden Furniture and Accessories, by Margaret Linquist and Judith Wells. The price is $10 and it is published by The House of Collectibles, 201 E. 50th St., New York, N.Y. 10022. The book is well researched from a historical standpoint as well as containing myriad items for each and every purpose imaginable. The photographs show stately, elegant pieces for formal gardens, both city and country. It is the best work I have seen in many years on the subject. It is 327 pages of reading pleasure for the person who enjoys classical garden ornament and Far Eastern ornament in both antique and contemporary styles.

Coming Out Under McCarthy MUSIC I N E V E R D R EA M E D OF. B y John G ilgun. Amethyst Press, 462 Broadway, Ste. 400, New York, N.Y. 10013. 145 pages. $9.95 soft.. «=►Reviewed hy Mike Lutes Take a fictional trip back through time with Steve Riley as he comes of age and out in the darkest of Joseph McCarthy’s 1950s. Raised in a strict Irish Catholic family in Boston, Stevie tells of his first sexual encounters with the boys, “bopping” as he calls it. and the embarrassment of confessing it to the parish priest. As he grows older the boys tire of the mutual frottage from “bopping,” and search for new sexual stimulation, girls. The rite of passage becomes sexual intercourse; the only problem is Stevie wants no part of the game. But failure to take part lets everyone know you’re homo or queer! In order to retain his straight identity, Stevie eventually passes the test with a fellow worker. Still feeling unsatiated, he insightfully recalls not long afterward: There’d been a door. Everyone told me the door was there. Open the door and pass on through. The door was sexual intercourse with a woman. After you passed on through, you weren’t queer. They’d told me there was a door and maybe there was— for them! But not for me. For me it had been an illusion. I had opened nothing and passed on through nothing and I was where I'd always been. I was back at the beginning. I was queer. No amount of intercourse would ever make me anything but what I was. I loved men. I’d always loved men. T hat’s all I’d ever wanted—just to love men. I was queer. But it’s the 1950s, Uncle Miltie (Milton Berle) appears in drag on television, and McCarthyism is sweeping the country. Just how, where, and when can Stevie find another gay man, in a climate like this? Most importantly, can he come out during this time? Stevie chillingly describes the mood of that era which all gay men encountered: This is my nightmare vision of The Fifties— a city street, appliance stores, show windows filled with hundreds of television sets, every set turned on in the middle of the bright blue sunstruck afternoon, every screen projecting the image of Joe McCarthy.... Irish taverns on side streets in Boston with their doors open to the spring breeze, television sets over every bar, Joe McCarthy on every screen.... Beyond the city, suburbs exploding out from the center like the concentric rings of a hydrogen bomb, a television set on in every carpeted living room, with Joe McCarthy holding forth, hectoring, scowling, snarling, snapping, hissing. His message was unequivocal: “ If you’re different, I’ll destroy you!” Soon thereafter, one night while half asleep and awake, Steve has a prophetic vision that changes his outlook on life and his gay sexuality: I looked up and I saw them, standing at the foot of the bunk, spirit Figures. I knew in that wordless way you can know while in that state of consciousness that these were my ancestors. They'd never had the words to describe their condition or a language to express their physical and spiritual longing.... Their lives had been lived in an acquiescent numb silence. Their guiding spirits had whispered to them

year after year, but they hadn’t listened.... They had died unfulfilled. Then I was aware that other ancestors were crowding in behind them and these were the ones who’d been ridiculed, reviled, beaten, jailed, burned.... Then I saw hundreds of others— No man had ever held them, kissed them and said “I want you.” And they gathered at the foot of my bunk to tell me, “You are one of us. You’ll live like us and die like us.” And every cell in my body replied “Oh no I won’t!” Steve’s prognostic dream sends him on a journey of self-discovery and fulfillment. Remembering it’s the 1950s, where and how could he embark on this passage, and could he complete the trip? The climactic ending of Steve’s personal exploration left me with a renewed sense of spirit, something that has been accomplished by few novels lately. G ilgun’s fictional biography goes beyond the standard fare, and effectively relates a tale of where we have been, where we are going, and how boundless we can be.

The Spirituality of Time E A R T H F E S T IV A L S C A L E N D A R A N D A L M A N A C , 1994. By Robert Barzan. White Crane Press. PO Box 170152, San F rancisco, CA 94117-0152. 1993. $9.95 soft, plies $1 shipping. Reviewed by Arthur Evans (author of Witchcraft and the Gay Counterculture and The God of Ecstasy) Festivals, along with the rituals and myths that accompanied them,” writes Robert Barzan in the introduction to his new 1994 pagan calendar, can serve as doorways into a deeper understanding of what it means to be human and what it means to live in community with all creation.” This deeper understanding of the spiritual dimension of time permeates Barzan s beautifully illustrated work, which is the first effort in modem times to integrate the principal feats of the ancient Teutonic, Celtic, Roman, and Greek deities of both sexes into an actual work-a-day calendar. Barzan stresses that the ancient pagan deities were originally associated with the recurring cycles of nature, and that human sexual variety was viewed as part of these cycles. He presents his findings in an easy-toread fashion, devoting the top part of each monthly section of explanations of specific feasts that are listed in the appropriate day-boxes in the calendar below. For example, the box for August 12th mentions the Hercalia, which is explained in the upper section as follows: I he Roman feast of Hercules, god of Strength and Master of the Animals. I he rites of this day were exclusively for men. but everyone in the city was invited to eat of the sacrificial meal.... In Greece, male lovers exchanged vows of fidelity at the altar of Hercules, then spent the night together in the fields.

The feasts & festivals of the Teutonic, Celtic, Roman, & Greek traditions, according to the ancient sources.

Barzan spent three years working on this calendar, and it is so full of interesting information that it can actually be read through as a book rather than used as a calendar. But I suspect its full impact will not be felt until it is lived through, day by day, with the user reflecting on the rich cyclical mythology which the ancients uniquely associated with each passing day. Used in this way, the calendar is likely to convey in a very tangible way the understanding which many native peoples had of time as a spiritual celebration of the entire community rooted in the cyclical mysteries of nature, rather than as an externally imposed mechanical device for regimenting and atomizing meaningless work in soul-killing institutional niches. Although many thinkers have written abstractly aboia these contrasting concepts of time, Barzan is the first to provide an artful means of experiencing the difference concretely on a daily basis. The text of Barzan’s calendar is complemented by a fine selection of beautiful woodcuts and line drawings. Its graceful look, added to its easy readability, will no doubt make it a popular gift item. Barzan is a former Jesuit priest who left the order in 1987 to seek out a more gay-positive spirituality. Since then, he has founded the highly successful quarterly White Crane, the nation’s only journal exclusively devoted to exploring gay male spirituality. Although both White Crane and Earth Festivals Calendar and Almanac began as merely personal steps in his own spiritual path, each has flowered into a resource that can enrich us all. T H E E A G L E ’S Q U EST. By F red A la n W olf. T o u ch sto n e, $12.00 soft. In his study of and personal quest through the shamanistic world, Wolf encounters natural healing, firewalking, shape-shifting, outof-body experiences, time travel, and lucid dreaming. E R O T IC IM P U L S E : H o n o rin g the S en su a l S elf. B y David Steinberg. Tarcher/Perigree, $13.95 soft. This book serves up thoughts, feelings, findings and fantasies about our erotic nature and of fers a liberating vision of sexual potential for those seeking to expand and deepen this area of their lives. E N C Y C L O P E D IA O F U N U S U A L S E X P R A C T IC E S . B\ Brenda Love. Barricade Books, $29.95 hard. A guide covering more than 700 topics, from the simply bizarre to the very extreme, in a nonjudgmental way. QUEER VANE E X P LO SIO N . By Larry-bob. d o Holy Titclamps. Box 591275, San Francisco, CA 94159-1275, send SASE with 2 stamps fo r 1 issue. To keep up with the fast-changing scene of gay and lesbian zincs’ — or small, usually home-based, self-distributed underground publications— the editor of Holy Titclamps also publishes Explosion, listing over 300 current issues, their descriptions, prices and a d d r e s s e s . Titles such as Girl Germs, Hissy Fit, Demure Butchness, Salt & Sage. and Diseased Pariah News run the gamut from literary to radical to hu morous to unclassifiable. The Factsheet Five of the gay ‘zine scene. (Titclamps is $2 an issue, or three for $5.)

Including the feasts of Hercules, Venus, Dionysos, - a Freya, Eros, Cybele, Thor, Athena, Neptune, Brigit, Faunus, Diana, Lugh, & more than one hundred other gods & goddesses for:

1994 62

THE FUTURE bELDDCS

T n

THOSE WHO CRTS SHELL

iT CUHRIRG

"h e l l o "Well you know that Prince changed his name to Symbol and I have an anouncement, Im to changing my name, now my name is Prince.......Princess."

I’ve been living at Short M ountain for a while now, and have taken the job of "House DJ"(Low Tech) and now the music editor for RFD. Living in the country i’m not often able to "go to town"(Bars, N ig h tlife,etc.). But that doesn't mean I dont like to dance. In listening to music there are certain qualities I listen for; good message, and dance-able beats. I'm realy moved by this m usic, there are lots of good messages that flow through his songs. I like the social and political statements being made by having an in your face drag queen perform ing in mainstream m usic. H e's a hom osexual, he's OUT,and he's in the top 40 music charts. Go girl. Every time I listen to her music I can't help but move. When asked why he did what he didfprom otional disc), RuPaul answ ered" 1 look great in a pair of high heals and a w*g- . . My whole message is about learning to love yourself and giving that love to other people. . . You can be a star and be glam orous or do w hatever you want to do. . . ft doesn't m atter what they say about you, if you feel it in your heart of hearts „ , . .Y ou can do it." I especially like her song Miss Lady DJ( Being the fag DJ that I am). There are 12 songs she put out ,ranging trom dance music to love songs.

Album: RuPaul,Supermodel of the world Tommy Boy Music,Inc. Produced by Eric Kupper for Hysteria Prod.

Open

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Basically I feel like M adonna better make room because the A rnold Schwarzenegger o f the 90's is com ing through and she is fierce. HELLO 63

letter to RuPaul

I just have one thing to say; I smell it and its com ing. Keep up what you are doing. You are making political and social statem ents through your m usic. People are watching you. You are a Diva, a new shining star. And with that power comes a voice, one of light, OUT in a world o f darkness. Close mindedness, bad politics and p reju d ices are co n stan tly a rem inder that we as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and T ransgender people, need to help to raise co n scio u sn ess w here-ever we can. You have the ability to do this in a big w ay. I challenge you to continue your m essage o f love and understanding o f one a n o th e r,"Free your mind, and let yo u r love light sh in e”. Take good care o f yourself. Eat w ell(O rganic if possible) and take time to reflect. In peace and love KhirShananda'

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Sept 20, 1954 - Ju n e 7, 1993

A Re memb rance and Fare well by Don Bla ckm or e A carder and spinner of wool fleece into home spun yams, a natural dyer using nature’s own color palate, a knitter, a weaver a fabric artist, a linguist too -an d the most gentle of souls. Dale asked little of life other than to be left at peace so he could pursue his own inner creative glow. That inner glow became very real and tangible to me within days after we met in the spring of 1989. We were sitting in the kitchen at the Sanctuary and he was carding some wool at the table. He knew I was observing him and he had a joyous smile on his face, but what really struck me was that his motions as he worked the cards could only be described as poetically sublime and his being seemed surrounded by a spiritual glow. I was mesmerized and at that moment our spirits b aa m e eternally bonded. It was a strong bond because we were soon spending all of our time together, walking around the Sanctuary hand in hand or arm in arm working on the garden, on the water system, building a raspberry trellis, etc. (later a shed)... but mainly just being together and celebrating the great joy of our lovingness and making plans for working and building our future together. He moved out of the Sanctuary’s cabin and into my "van home" with me and the van (3 m * smaLl space!) became our home together for almost three years. Things happened fast. By June we were off to Mark and Mike s in Arkansas to help with their organic Blueberry Harvest and then on to Iowa to learn how to detassel acres and acres of hybrid com tor seed and then up to the far north to "rake" blueberries (low-bush) in Maine. We were work buddies. We were comrades We were lovers. We were soul brothers. The pressures of hard work and the tensions ot living in such a cramped space caused a few incidents" but they blew over fast and for the most pan our life together was supportive and loving. e The next winter Dale became a tree planter with me, first on a company crew, then just working as a pair of "self-employed" independent contractors. For two winters we planted hundreds of thousands of trees. Our bodies became ever stronger. Our legs carried heavy packs ot seedlings up, over and around the rough terrain and our arms threw our "hoedads" up and then down to sink in the soil beneath our feet, ripening yet another crevice to plant yet another seedling. Side by side day after day, swing those hoedads, plant those trees. It was good! It was good! Then a separation came. I moved on to West Virginia and Dale back to lennessee then on to Colorado with his mother after his father's death. Fhere he became gravely ill. I felt so sad and sorry that he lost his physical vitality and was oftentimes confined to a wheelchair. We made our peace with each other over the winter in an exchange of letters. I sent him two large poster prints, one of him in the waterfall valley in WV where we hiked together and one "reaping" wheat with a small one hand scythe at Mark & Mike s. He had them framed and hung on his walls. They brought the outside in to him and clearly revealed his strong spiritual conncection

RICHARD

STRANGE

Richard Strange, aka Heartsinger, died this spring from AIDS. Heartsinger had been a frequent visitor to Short Mountain and Running Water, where he lived for several years. Heartsinger had a unique ability to sing in a counter tenor voice as well as in the tenor range. He did extensive research in the troubadour songs, and he performed those m concerts and at gatherings. He also recorded a tape of original songs by Ron Lambe taken from the poetry of RFD. Richard was a proponent of gay men’s music and often sang works by gay composers such as Samuel Barber, Ned Rorem and Menotti. Richard was born in Chicago and lived in a number of places, most notably Boston. He spent the past few years in St. Louis at the Unity Seminary. 3

And so, f arewell. Dearest Dale. I have felt your pain and anguish in the most powerful of physical sympathies. You have entered the realm ot pure spirit now and no longer have to suffer the pains and imperfections of the body or the limitations of time....I am still in the realm of the flesh but before long my spirit will also be set free See you again soon! I almost long for the day! But there are more trees an* flowers to plant for now.

cjK

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1 9 5 f......................... 30, 1993 Ob. gentle spirit. Seeder of truth, centered oneness. GT each er of gentleness, student to music

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Jon Greenberg i i , „ Jon Greer>t>erg died of AIDS-related Cryptococcal Meningitis on July 12, 1993 at 9:59 PM at St. Vincent’s Hospital in New York City, surrounded by friends. 1 first became friends with Jon two years ago in un * was interested in learning about alternative HIV treatment options, and Jon was ACT U Fs alternative treatment guru. Jon was and is an important aspiration to many people literally around the world ^no are living with AIDS and HIV. By his example and through his eloquent words, he challenged us to empower ourselves by taking control of our own eatment decisions and thoroughly educating ourselves about our health care options. His exasperation with the a5 k weH-documented information about nonPharmaceutical treatments led him to found the Treatment itematives Project (TAP) to promote controlled clinical nais ot alternative AIDS treatments. !n, ^ e (w° years in which I knew him, Jon also opened himself

P to spirituality. He was a visionary truth-seeker whose enthusiasm

was boundless and whose trust in the universe grew and grew. He integrated his developing spiritual beliefs with his high profile treatment - „ advocacy, and expressed his ideas freely and joyously. *"*'*"" Jon loved visiting Short Mountain. 1 saw him last here, at the Beltane gathering, which he attended in spite of constant headaches from the meningitis. He loved all beautiful rural places. Whenever we were together in the country, I would join him in a healing ritual he had created, which involved exposing our assholes to the sun. Jon always respected his body’s sacred intentions. When he was episodically sick, Jon embraced his symptoms of the moment as his body doing its best to adapt, and relentlessly sought out creative ideas for supporting his body. Jon came to view AIDS as his body releasing its defenses and barriers, something he actively sought to do in every sphere of his G — life. Jon, your presence continues and grows. -Sandorfag

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Jim B a k b0dyn/ n C a r y o u h a n d le an innocent 52 aga, ' jeaZY submissive, rageful, ^ | guilty, sleS ’NNY bizarre queer boy tK J irresistible, F u i . > . ... n me like ; „ke me? , want a man w h o» " S e c r e t s , ’ • » , a kite to Pluto, where there a ^ ^ 3 and to Venus, w rtrc w ( me : divinity. 1 want a man who U 1' , « v,

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' * ^ * £ ^ * 2 Wf*'- 1 own a Pnv..c tro p ic garde,! .„5 a ' “sfe . s „ , / | ane”;d "d * P °°' which is „ T°W" which is warmed h" ,k hcan °< d“™ « 'he day, and j. ™ / h, V r0pical Mn :

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I the journey and move here to tb T ‘ ^ °f * knortheastern New • tbe mounlains of 5 , 6S50s.I building V e„ u ° ,y " ,e1'*"d « a' 4 I friends to. It*s a beautif i • we,conung our ,V covered wi.h hieh^eaks , 1 5 ' ^ ^ ' ' " a° d Br J

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' V ’ 1/u a«a I m 6’1", 175 shapes and friendly natures Rnth r --- ’ artists-painters and nkBoth of us are | ^ J inZ 7 a u Z j JJ makCrS’ 3,50 both We’re building a studio households. -rture both o §f those ^ J v to j and herbs at the farmers markets W e l ^ u 1 fhe quiet and soh’tude here but ai . m h I [J°y of bright comnanv and Ik love the I folk as well. We’llhave ° tOUcb °f 8°od meditate,play a plle fn 3 P,3CC l° W°rk and I climate (or at’leas, ‘ 7 ‘',hepnVacy and I move without much cinth^ stoves) to A H and a space for the energiefoT bmh^ % mg, and massage Tn J bathmg, soak- h M ,"> us b f e C T a Jb°0t aK lha; We're cullingt/*,1 food and space, work or studio fo, short ° , h 8 ° “r >f ' for tripsto the nearbv hot g ways,some tf gaIheringsor a"d «■' f. once m inaa while" while. There are ... th!' ,k genUe> gefHle'sane «seaon<* “ “ .aj *

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7 7 u,u«ner unto her death r 7 u Ilna,ly familyand wish to share the ^ aJ°nc Wi,h no nfw j a k)Ving. IIIV negatlVc Z °fmy Ufewith mc How young? Anyone^ ma <TnOUnger ,han j y bnancia'iy«>hd andv^ "e/ f t045' 1a" never a bottom) J rsa,l,e in sex, (but B"te' « d to care Brink very crowds. I prefer nn/e ,or b«rs, dancing or «5- i Broadway shows. I w S 'c,a“ lcal music, and my *over physically aTd V °W affec,i°n «o . * a"d m private AND w ishT '10^ 3^ “ pub,ic W \ “ me * «m a cuddler smiZ lo do Ibe hinkerwith a creativeconsri^ a"d proSress've P H 1 Wan( Physically in a k)^ ° Uf"ess W hat do and »fhe speaks Germ, U?der 6’’sli".

I This is a difficult letter to write. It is a hum bling experience to admit to others that you are | lonely, particularly to so many people. This 48 year old Native American Two-Spirited (Gay) man has just moved back to his hom e rcservaI tion after living in an urban setting since the | early 70's. I missed the support system that existed for me in M inneapolis. It is going to Pass from now until we m oJ r 563501,5 to I take time to establish the same here in this that seem s like a niw> f 6 ID for S004! and rural setting. Yes, the homophobia is present m eet, through words thT f !t COrrespond and in our community but there is also support friends and neighbors i f ° k Wh° ^ OUr from those who live and practice the teachings might choose t o ^ s it at r y° U nearby or J * * am I. I given to us as Native Americans. What ». - *c. ac, a c “n S n f pPon„“. I f " ° “ asking for? I’d be lying inter- ? " d We'“ ^ w im 'itottrlyinf if I said I wasn’t |I ested1 m in a relationship. I’d interested d be very m terestea „ . . ------relationship I-------P,us- What do I want ‘ " as 1 do> an extra Boxholders appreciate an 1 in a Lone Ranger who would app ~ p O. Box 338 j - # .K",dn'ss'donpaarioa, 8 few? 1 encourage mes to further explore my identity as Guadalupjta, NM 87722 Bavc «> relalives left , d ' “s,,« - I a Native American. Heck, while I’m at it, I ,»3 i f i fn " d W w b e d w L J ' * fever and 1 may as well mention this Sundancer (from V g ,n >” “> id ler. | * Dm " L " d o P '" h e .n e d | Denver) that I have always been interested in. anyone in jail who ha W,sb to hear from I D ear RFD Readers, ^ I Seriously, I am interested in friendship (a place , W ; who drinkshcv!^ ‘ “ l ™ ” " 1 v b a # I to start?) with others who are into personal 1shallbe away untiic.. °,Uses heavy drugs Rural gay men and lesbians anywhere in Cana-.^ growth and spirituality. Currently, I am the %!: "c ou, .here' ^ V™ da, I’d like to hear your varied, heroic, w o n -'I Supervisor of Chemical D ependency/M entall drous, difficult and startling life stories, for a ^ § ,h' end »hd a ""f- Y»“ H ealth/Dom estic Violence programming on our I book I’m writing, working title O u t H e re in th e reservation. Prior to this, I was the director of | ^ CHvD C o u n tr y . I’m gay, 49, live with my partner in*: l a culturally specific CD halfway house for j !°S Hi'zabe.h Street rural eastern Ontario, survive as a writer— o ft | Native American men in Mpls. My own recov-1 Kcy Wes«.PL 33040 books (eg T h e F irst S to n e , McClelland & S tew -| ery from chemical dependency and internalized art/1991, on the lesbian and gay ordination J homophobia/oppression has been largely due to battle in the United Church), also plays fo ri healing I have found through Native American stage and CBC radio. Starting this autumn F ill _________________________ teachings and ceremonies. I am also one of the be traveling across Canada gathering interviews! co-founders of American Indian Gays and and impressions for this new book, a look atl Lesbians, the group that organized the first 'h diy nei f0 ^ why w e’re here, how we get by, deal with] v£& vSare sP nciat" ndSt youpp , / circle 0H National Gathering for Native American Twoisolation, neighbours, aging and such, com e ou Spirited People 5 years ago. I have a lot to My.f'«'e to :iivr d,w," 6e*rdl°'dcr. w l (or not), get sex, love and respect. My theme share— and am open to both interracial and > M ?"<i"e fi,n,S '"'‘reels. ba “ "”« *oodf we are everywhere, and we are astonishing! I intertribal communication. A photo would be . you ’ll risk sharing your story with me, I wi appreciated. My gwetch (thank you). ^ f°um>er'c,»7,n' wriripg ,ea markets.j respect whatever degree of confidentiality yo B f t W * <travel,„p 'he b e a ^ ' ^ ' need. Interested? Send me a note aboe Lee E. Staples yourself, with an address and/or phone numbe P.O. Box 528 where I can contact you in return.

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Hello Dear Brothers,

j s . . ' nd,v,t “, 'iust bis se*“ a' ' are not desired'" Ute «n 1 J 0f drugs ar n by a f t * oh 0L0^ e s t e r n ‘ °“ " % v „ e g G * M "

This is a relatively new path that I am axing, so please be patient. After 33 years, including 10 of heterosexual marnage I decided to stop the game and deal ^ t h t h e reahtyofw hoU m . A large part of thathonesty is coming to love my gayness. This is how the spirit expresses itself through me. I am seeking a soul mate. He may be a friend, he may be a lover, he may be an eternal partner. But it is im portant that he accept me for who I am

” » Please resp ersonals. background and p

♦ iA V

d e r l L ? ^ SpintUal Vege,aria" who urn dt lanuds the un,,y of all life. I undere n h d that thf PUrpose of ,ife is to create, f nhance, and promote playful love in all ,tS n,any manifestations. I have found my ye\ but Y° U may "0t have f- n d yours I Lvel I Seeking' ° n a socia' evel, I am non-violent, non-capitalistic (although I do have a "good" job) and non-materi,rustic On a personal level | have two beautiful children who live with me primarily and whose spiritual, physical and emotional development i take very’

^ i t ^ k i d plans w e ^ o try living. beek

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An? W<? haVC Some serious On a physical level, I have been W,th re,atlve 8°od looks, which 1

1 am just finishing a year of teaching in Mexico and will return to my little home in northeast Texas this summer to complete a book of Indian stories and then in ^ the fall I will begin teaching bilingual f*' theatre and social studies to Mexican kids in a small town near my home. For over 15 years 1 have lived in the country in a small house I built myself. I have a good live, simple, yet productive and interesting. Quiet (I’ve missed that here, Mexico is a loud country), yet filled with cultural and intellectual excitement of my own making. I’ve sponsored several large fairy happen ings at my house. My place is magical, | filled with art, books and artifacts, sur rounded by pine forest. I love my home in the woods, yet I thrive on the excite- JJ! ment that comes from discovering the "different." I love to go. I’ll be going to *5 I Costa Rica just before school starts, my •*, third adventure into the rain forest there. • £ Next summer I plan on going to Cuba- if there is still a Cuba. 1 consider myself, at 45, a whole person, healthy and alive to * 4 the glories of life. I feel I am someone I * like, someone I respect. I have something j of value to offer another man. I long for j another good man with whom to share my life, someone who is intelligent, conscious, i v warm hearted and thoughtful. I am more ** interested in inner beauty than in outward v appearance. I’m more attracted to a full head and happy heart than I am good head and body parts. In order for this**

I want. You too sane balance, uai«ii'-v> r I i attractive, affect'00* * genuine and * 4> H1V-, moral, monog ^ en-Qy homecommitment-onen ed. ces and simhfe, nature’ ^ o u r ’pioneer spirit likes pie pleasures. ° u" te comfort Challenges, but we a p pPe la• te ^ ^too. & £ We desPise ^a™da educated, mature * * * sionate, interest g, sexualicomfortable with my . ed. j have had 1 relationship-

Former flight build and maintain one-u c^n ^ com. attendant (10 years) y rm 5’8", 155 fortable in P“^ C nice body, norlbs., brn/brn, grea 0id-fashioned m, l life, C hns,'a^ t „ s;C.p o ^ « s b u s iimegnty. enjoy list has ness acumen. J "husband-type, item: a white, m characteristics for topman with sim . n education, life-mate. Income, P rug/alcohol

anyone who wishes to communicate. ‘l am * / / * able to travel a bit, and would also weij Oh come visitors. I pray that all my brothers M ountain was a and sisters traveJ an(j wjy J g Beltane at wonderful and magical e « « ^how T »w o n - ‘^ r - AAg a in m , their unique paths. Peace, y P ?£ M Myy^Lovelies, t0 have encountered y embraCe yo“ to encoun wa^ Mark Martin a r n t s a r e noen °Pe" and “ V ^ s l e r n town in the I 519 Arpia St hete, in th“ sm* , * L within vtew of 5 hills, neat the ™ 'S„ lco. where even Lexington, VA 24450 } the mountains of deliciously cool (703) 463-9448 * in summer the « g h « ^ lefs rendezCOME Y/rite. n Mountain, vous next spring at peace

appreciated.

Tommy c/o R F D /7 5

Amos

*£3

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* ***

annual * * g" u ear p r Come on OT ' tr,e nds My search is for relationships (monoga- 'W contact lexer U> mously amorous or platonic) with emo<fovear' * W t .'age tionally-mature men of substance (not image). I’m a saucy Mediterranean, re- ^ ) n s t d o n ^ H e h t o j sin 8le s L Mo„o 6a- o „ * * * « rUsltcc°upk o ld V H S c o lle c f*retE 55, bearded, non-conforming or ■' 9 Fuck-buouica. Technology's the mainstream, professional, bilingual, and suffering from multiple chemical sensitivi tittle, ties. Potential companions who are chron'av 'g'CitVn ° /o' • »b o u will t leav in thTruck e p a rparking k i n g ’" ' * V eve^ Week that »*»% ically-ill (CFS, AIDS, intractable pain, Vco“p f e 0f i ■ k'4 • V • etc.) are invited to contact me for a synermake jt gistic and practical (not idealistic) union. Vm "PS Z 7 e W * Objectives: slow-lane socializing, compreL ou H a m b u rg tension and appreciation, expressions of tenderness and sex, fun and humor, or f° r that in °r in H Y e ° .u *ve m Qr 7a«e as «Centralis, » 985M nierely to exchange audio cassettes ("living (206) 736-03^0 P o n e " ...... letters"). Occasionally 1 visit the San Francisco Bay area. Men who are authen«,*T* ,‘c* aware and informed, originally from T f A f * * ' « * W e've C o r r i b tilJte t C° rresP o n d : think +Z ’*j lê ^ ast Coast or Europe, are especially m maybe dear to me Being physically "unfit," a next h Place ? * W ': H&K , \ v curmudgeon, or elderly is fine. Some in°r , ° m 1 terests of mine: personal growth, liberaC/o «FO/7 5 y B0ys tion, and discovery; cultivating orchids; ^ consumer, prisoner, and disability advoca ’W } C e b - ' ° the Sce cy; quality and truth; overnight trips; cêer/« ary * massage, exotic and unprocessed cuisines, ?ader aitl / and environmental health, erotic videos, word '/77}er games and wordplay. All aspects of sex, ^ Cr, . ,,0a Sh )rn?e/' 7— 71ode/ OWs | literature, the enniagram, voyeurism, m » y <0^ ' 'or theatre, animals, pre-’80s films on video, I ’i ^ ° s e 0/° ' " u*nt n o ”tn ^t'other i iove ” 0se disclosing conversation, robust humor, Z yoiJels~ R £r^ e/ r* are thosert7a'l), *">’ but ~ ^Q er estate sales, social criticism, a healthful F ta n t i u ° ° ks’ aS e h ,lt 1 e a o ^ ° r e o ’ lifestyle, film actresses of yesteryear, the ; To ? h e Z etc. ^ 4 ,° " desert, and teratology. All letters an swered. ,4 , * e n 4 ;r°pe9« 4 ° rs*<>e<. K ' ^ e i POB 3464 r £ 3f’ 1 yon Ss^ e r v' ■> Ca u / jVg 1^ t nudes Jtire ? USanta Cruz, CA 95063 totos C° ^ e on. get attr J - -/v e yGr < 3] , 6o/?l0/7?" ,^.5<%« , V «, e,"en.'; 5 .. >7 Pi" „ ^ 'arn/s;:i\creat/ 00kinp'? * * fr. * * > $ * ? ' H. •>«*</«?S '*4 *> 1lchael * 0/77 C/,, . ■0/Va// C/V ^J/T y /- r /d a ; $ ° r ^ e and t £ *oj0" » '. ® . ' /7o “-o ide*s°forer fo r '”* c 05 4 a/?d Dear RFD 'een 37 eP "A/° ^ 0</ n the great state of W ^ S s H e r e l am ,n ; e -*ca> e r44 a^ Washington y°fCeH 1 Hr,d eên 'V° u rr, dS ê// e / ■ , , site 1 am «"» wt ooy>r have a trim uoay. " *o7 ,* * '* / ■ ? '« >>r£ W .?'■ « ' .F > . ? though l look you1 8 ’ a pallUer and am fun loving, adventurouâ P* { m in d . A* ,ith a creative gardener w...^ whQ fa tall 5'10" or

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& The spring issue of RFD #73 ' ad that pretty well described w

I-ve done what I promised! I’ve pur- ^ W chased and am in the process (been here . h* \ less than a week) of settling into a perfec J . * « e in No Central Florida, lfs a quiet W historic area but within walking distance ?*%' Of all kinds of businesses and shopping malls or traveling by car almost anyt.hmg W you want, state parks, the ocean amuseS S ment areas, medical care, gay bars eta Set up much like a compound, heavy shrubbery surrounding a landscaped yard provides privacy for any nudists living here but you’re only minutes from big city conveniences. Two screened porches offer ...:.u u n n sauce but

w s?»j® J

selling his 40 acres, small uuuav omv. assorted out buildings. Tlie road is lightly used, the land is rolling, a ■ open and wooded and there is a l stream parallel to the road which _____ the property into 25 acres (with buildings) and 15 acres vacant. It would be nice to have RFD neighbors. Weve owned an adjacent 82 acres for 17 years and most of it is now entered into various tree farm and wildlife encouragement programs through the state. Our area of Wisconsin is clean, quiet and remains quite rural. For further information please contact: Chuck Bauer and Chuck Beckwith Rt. 1, Box 184 N-9075 York Ctr. Rd. Blanchardville, WI 53516

wunuui uit -----, room father-in-law apartment for a gay couple (long term) or two friends m the | back of the building with a Private e" ' trance Two bedrooms are available to conservative gay men who would like to share the main house with me and the central air conditioning. I’m rcaHy hoping this will be the start of a wonderful new lifestyle, providing love and support for a small group that will grow. Expenses and chores will be shared and sex ca" be ™°r than just an exciting word. As tar as employment goes, temporary service jobs are plentiful but the pay-scale is low. My chariot is a seven passenger van so I can 1 provide temp, transportation until you can afford a bicycle. If you can enjoy a quiet h J ! conservative but loving and caring future, JJV v V ' I’d be delighted to discuss the possibilities with you, but no collect calls will be accepted. Until we meet or talk, I remain your brother and playmate. Wayne A. Hardt

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, " d e n t a l projects t v ,ety ot r? 4 * ° lake us im„ m ■ J ls *°rk will ( ( T -Vnerican countries w e h Mhw U li" I ™ ' y°“ "« gay Hispanic m ° pe ,0 find a I man who Spef ks q ™ ”’ " ^ F young 1 lilfp to join our or Spanish, wkn w°uldi like " ---- ’ 4V ,,U tf.

b - I've the s p i r i t u a l l if e s t v l e ° UP r"? ,<?arn ,() t J would travel with 2 W<? fo ,,o w H e \

j speaking countries and h 'T i l,U Span,sh ° r us un,d we have l e a r n t lrans,;if,ng m|j language well. He J d '° Speak I I I *1 w orkhard m . .t inu ta,en(s- .He must be W]|/,S ° Wf' crea^ e $ 7 i- . . h. ilh n g to leave his ° ,d hfe behind mi and pletely, new faniilv nr "” en,cr 1,1,0 a com th ePath of discovery " 1!" t '° *rc aU 01 I a” d support and ,,e W|,J receive love "A ow/ffhe!p £ l ™ ^ i P of men , $: v !ant ways- If you w o u l d 'V r ny ,mpor’ $ .sA.; know US, write and tel I ? * fo 8ct *° F 1 a»d what interests VOu I ab° Ut your*elf have to have anv T "Ve You don’t I dhisfn. or the other subiT?™ * W" h f3ud- " , Cd ,n’ f>ut you do need an S re 'n,ercs,W must have enough PCn m'nd’ and for real __ 5 c°uraee in ^ ■ ■ ' y S ^ rz ; : .to: Kach ^ Ken ch en Keep c/° RFD/75

lifiiti,

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We t? v ic 3 small /»„ ^ wfl° Practice Buddhism ° f ! iermit~m°nks and western p h ib s, nd study eastern **4 paths. We Jive a h e a lth l^ *nd sp,r,Ujal v j I and are involved in manvV'! — ilfest>',eallow us to be out in * tlv,t,es which ?<? j canoeing, backpackino " a,ure ' Ve enjoy 'M remote wilderness Pan 1 ?Xphhring VeV -5 <1 hve in our seclu d e f the ye*r ....

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come true &

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Readers,

* Gw m m sincere friendship and ^ ^ person. atn discreet, hones ^ any response Don’t have anyc®ppreCiated. Come on would be e P y answer. and let me hear. £

Southwest VA

do RFD/75

m iVi [<*gbk Z ' - *0 U ,rt*h D,°es ‘a/t/i ly; hap p / n - . .. . . 'tion >ody o f, Perh p s tani* n 0 ,n8’ als° "•jvy hi any

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[Greetings Brothers.

large porch after a hard .0<gether °" ‘be I ;no to New Mexico over two T n ? ; our homestead I’d nr J * y Wo^ " g on ‘ Si"Ce am surprised that 1 haven'. l masculine man, 24~p * gentle yet yeMS h t ,o connect with any faenes Cw,,h humour, likes t« , ° P/ nan- HIV neg been able to F _r:e Gathering n,on°gamy, caring S k' f ’ be,ieves j here. Actually. o » l) in the ^ s h e r e i n t h e s o u t h w esU A ^ )^ [of a country setting ^ h S|milar dreams = ' ^ . o h M rfro * ' ^ j W , o g e ther .| summer of 19 ^ Ce[taj„,y yQU WOuld . » care. fa ttf with 8° all " r . htt e unspoiled the » Greg think V ^ nature, ^ and jO -l E. 9th Ave. #153 Nauve A f A rtists and healers here, that Denver, CO 80218 abundance of art>s* New Mexico a the faenes w o u d c o n s i d ^ e ^ q{ En_ mecca. After a , involved chantment, 1 did “ « p that was Dear RFD Readers: bn 1 r ; . t , ’g . h " . a S a g ^ e e , , n y mostly straigni, mY own Howdy from peaceful and sunny North it d.sbanded^and^nOn^ ^ loving faerie Dakota. It’s a great state to live m beagain. S New Mexico or who are •‘ cause the cost of living and crime rate is brothers living in New M me (0[ one of the lowest in the country. I m a planning a visit h Wicca. f] friendly, good natured and sensitive further amusement. 'eW „„cks, my. G W M - 3 0 - 6 ’ -200-dark brown hair-hazel eyes-moustache-large build. 1 am looking ^ v T t u ' r pueblos.' ancient ruins. for a GWM, 25 and up-maybe you are te a l festivals, rodeos flea marked r "still in the closet” like I am and inexperisage and phallic worship (Don *„oto ij enced, for friendship and a soulmate. I bring your magic w an*) Here « P refuse to go into a gar bar scene that is of me Please send me one oi y i ' S ! miles from here. I am a non-(smoker, Om Om on the Range, same. 1 enjoy £ * 5 drinker, drug a ru g user). u ^ .;. Prefer a .--------- 11.:__ in the n»rif •.‘•a* walkine park lookine looking at the stars or V « even in the rain puddles with a man of my ^ p a NTHEOS dreams-YOU! I spend my leisure time ; . J Box 9543 ' ! , » cooking, camping, gardening, caring for _ Sa„,a Fe, NM 87! 04 m»t«ic movies, boating, clean fun, ^ , ,

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Dear RFD Reader I guess I’m what some people would call have g a prude. At least, it seems most of my Jog house atop 3 friends feel that way. I’m the kind of guy >«» # ft that thinks there are much better things to $ do than roll around in bed all day. If you $ like deep, spiritual discussions that last for 'f m « hours, rainy days, long walks in the woods V g staying up late on a full moon night and £ waking up just to see the sun rise, I d •Jim Gipson § really like to hear from you. I m a 21 ;°n Cem. Rd. ft? year old college student (majoring m Environmental Science) with the senousTN (615) 598-5012 ness of a 30 year old. I have blondis brown hair, hazel-green eyes, and a red? £ dish-brown beard. 1 stand about 5 , $4 weigh about 150 lbs (when I haven t been too busy to eat), and I have an average build. I’m not going to say if I m han some or not, because I think that s something for you to decide. I enjoy hiking, br°wn eyes, yellow f i * ha,r> dark boating, fishing, and pretty much anything ^ M r e l a t i o n s L p L ™ ^ ' " ; ^ ' ' * male for else that is done outdoors. I read and ,c *«5 travelling 1 1 11 "’U5IC' T V . J L I’m discreet, sincere, gentle, honcst Age write quite a bit, and I have a weakness C and a 24 Enjoys the theater, music, arts, beach for Japanimation. I listen to a lot of New e. kindness es book/and travel and would like to get & S Age music and am a Wiccan at heart, so * I guess you could say I’m one of those Chai to know any American or of ’hippies of the Nineties.’ While I m hardly alitv willing to drop a line to a Brazilian voung Do I stand a chance of getting to the epitome of masculinity, I am not a fern I’m one of those proud to be a man knovf any? I do hope so. I hope to hear Know any r.. „ co that we can types, and I celebrate my masculine na from someone out there develop a good friendship. Let s be ture ' Most of my closest friends are ei ther straight men or lesbians because most , friends and know more about our conn of my previous gay friends referred to me I tries, lives, wishes. Pici cure it.. •.hor s e s as the ’butch man from hell. What l m looking for is someone who is looking for swimming poo/';If .» ° n . a "U l hillside. ^ * Andre Monteiro H iking u„.j - .. *e Middle o f me If you like what you’ve read so tar, Rua: Zacarias Lyra Pessoa, G2 x and ridimr "rt, ...of a hayfield. Lonesome Pine M K * ,e , r “il ««l of ,he and are between 20-25, moderately Alto Branco masculine (but not afraid to show emo 58.103-023 — Campina Grande mores,fishing,e “o l y'• - (f ampflres a'"Pfires and tion), and ready to consider settling down, Paraiba BRAZIL n,ghls. flowers, far"' critters, deer flow/ write to me. I will admit that I will not be exciting people eer' * cozy r,re, bright S K living here in Missouri for more than Country cooking. -r!!t *? “' for real farm Httitude! Cun v, . H escape. ‘ M another year since a friend and have o n f , ,, . *■an >ou p i c t u r e ir> lr Hn“ n o 1 0 — made plans to move to the big, ba R Colorado and take up herb growing, cure e ah«ve afJd more if * P man**e all of the K casting, season worshipping Wiccan lifeffl style, but who knows what the future may ,0t ,o f old baggaae ,! r b,,r(,ef,cd with a hold under the right circumstances, % P rorid* «I, the l e a n J r CH" '"*■ help m yard I**II t i t * ' w would really appreciate a picture, prefera . o» re smarter than >n ° C“n hand<e It f a man or m e" ^ Rardening--<an b et0 r Lhere's a miserlv . ? me- « v*n he bly full length, but it isn’t necessary (nudes 1work—house ^ better. V , ,sL drug^ r u n k s - - ^ r good as you are. ‘ a,ar> »nd tip* are as « § ? a r e fine. I want to know all about you, age 70- n o jail birds J -n pleasing and if that is your thing, I may like it) i games I am and security LaO Lee at 615-272-40M $ R i respond to every letter I get, and I really or write \ m en—nothing bafee-—canned fruits wouldn’t mind making a few writing o' 9 B°x 223 most im portant I do very good K ogersvill,. Tn. buddies. l !Ieg—keep a clean bouSve^ orked on acreV*r^. i yard & gardening-"Jd ^ ttin g or very « * V ‘ , ... V . age-prefercountt^std ^ d n n k. Dwight Politte rural. Am safe c l « afrald o( work. y ??& Rt. 1, Box 667 , 40-and like nature Ironton, MO 63650 //. | Thank you.

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E V I E W 5 , continued from page 63 GAY ANI) LESBIAN STUDIES, by Henry L. Minton, ed. Harrington Park Press, 10 Alice Street, Binghamton, NY, 13904. 202pgs, soft.

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Reviewed by JanNathan Long To many a homosexual is distinct from a gay person not simply because in our culture the two words have different political connotations, but because they also have distinct social connotations. The former is a clinical term for anyone who has sex with the same sex; the latter is a cultural term for those who perhaps do the same thing, yet also identify with the gay culture at large. Such distinctions are important in the field of gay studies, as are more difficult questions, such as who exactly are gay and lesbian people? Anyone who chooses to identify? Those who profess an attraction to the same sex? Those who actually have sex with the same sex? Who exactly this body of people is and how they are perceived will greatly effect later political and social debates and laws concerning them. In the collection of essays entitled simply Gav and Lesbian Studies. Henry Minton, editor, has assembled a sampling of some of the pertinent questions raised within and about this rapidly growing academic field. The essays are an accessible introduction; in fact, they are often simply historical surveys with a few questions concerning the role of gay and lesbian studies in the future thrown in.

Attired in a tuxedo with red boutonniere, Joseph Kramer, founder of the Body Electric School of Massage and internationally respected sex therapist, emerges from behind a six foot phallus of bronze-like proportions to deliver his always lucid and enthusiastic narrative on the joys and benefits of Taoist Erotic Massage. He is capably assisted by his two expert masseurs, Matthew Simmons & Steve Davis. It is their handsomely photographed and fluidly edited duet of mutual pleasuring that engages the viewer’s interest and gives incentive to master the two dozen different cock massage strokes they illustrate. To an entrancing new age musical score they do the R ain bow Rub, R ock A round the C lock, Twist & Shout ("You twist; he shouts, Joe says, "and use plenty of oil."-food grade coconut recommended) H and Jive, Ring Balls, H airy Palm Sunday & C arpe Diem to mention several. continued on page 80 B'RATHE'R5,

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One of the initial problems raised in the book is the question of whether gay and lesbian studies is keeping in touch with the gay communities and movements. Jeff Escoffier, editor of the former OUT/LOOK magazine, asks whether Gay and Lesbian Studies and gays on the streets are loosing touch with each other as the field enters more into mainstream academia.

But in an interesting article which traces the distinct growth of Dutch 'Homostudies' (while pointing out the ethno-centric conceptions of U.S.-centered articles), Gert Hekma and Theo van der Meer, ask whether Homostudies and gay political activists really need to have the same goals. They describe the burgeoning Homostudies departments in Utrecht and Amsterdam as often being deeply divided, the former devoted to "applied research.. .with direct relevance fo r.. .the gay and lesbian movement" and the later concentrating on "fundamental cultural, historical, and literary research and on theoretical issues." The authors point out that the theoretical can have valuable effects beyond simply generating egalitarian material advances for gay men and lesbians. 1heory can ask questions about the very social-political structure of the culture and language and can help define and redefine the very subject of the debate, and thus greatly influence the outcome.

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Taking this argument one step further, ki nameste makes a cogent and insightful case for an epistemological critique not only of gay studies, but of the academy as a whole and how it attempts to relegate marginalized groups to specific sub-studies, reinforcing their very marginality. (By the way, within nameste's essay s/he(?) gives a clear explanation of the role ot deconstructionism in the critique of the academic institution and how to use it to dismantle the assumptions within academic discourse.)

Available at newsstands, or by subscription. 4 issu es SI 7 00, s a m f ^ o p y 5^95 PDA Press, Inc., P 0 Box 460292, San Francisco, CA 94146

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While these elemental considerations are important, the book does not go far beyond them. Some of the articles are merely brief histories related to the development of the field, or personal accounts of individuals' works. Yet it is a good introduction into the field, particularly if one was more interested in the development of Gay and lesbian Studies rather than the issues such studies actually address.

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■REVIEW?, continued from page 74

For those who have taken the Body Erotic workshops, this video is a gratifying refresher course; and for others, a visually pleasing and informative introduction—not without moments of camp humor and always with a high standard of production values and a satisfying erotic and sensual appeal. Or as Sr. Maya Butthrill did say, "There's a glorious cock teasin' in their high spirited squeezin’." Ah Men!

liver present is the insistent and core emphasis cm the breath-deep breathing, shallow breathing, rebirthing breaths, always conscious breaths—and all leading not to a conventional orgasm but rather the Bif> Dra w, a Tantric climax to the massage that results not in cumming but rather a surging and release of the generated erotic charge throughout the entire body of the massage recipient A tew in my home viewing audience of ten or so fey men and one lipsync lesbian found some of the masseurs’ dialogue too contrived. But as I heard Matthew and Steve sign and speak to one another "You are special among all my relations" I was transported back to the time I took the Body Electric 2 day intensive erotic massage class with 32 other men. In that workshop we experienced directly the power and pleasures of communal erotic explorations and affirmations that had us very quickly and sincerely viewing one another as "Sacred Intimates." A dozen years into the terrible devastation of the AIDS epidemic with the dominant culture's attempts to have us repress our abundant and expressive sexuality, the men and message of Body Electric and EroSpirit would have us practice a conscious and healing sexuality that has us caress our cocks to stimulate our spirits and center in our hearts. 80

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