Day Thirteen

Day Thirteen // March 11 // Stridence in Listening

“Language is a more recent technology. Your body language, your eyes, your energy will come through to your audience before you even start speaking.” – Peter Guber –

If stridence is the rotten fruit of gentleness, then awareness of how we listen is one of the keys to keeping the fruit fresh. We overlook the critical importance of body language in communicating. Body language is the unspoken element of communication that we use to reveal our true feelings and emotions. Our gestures, facial expressions and posture are windows into our souls.

When we are able to “read” these signs, we can have greater empathy and find a great capacity to really hear each other. It can greatly enhance our ability to understand the complete message of what someone is trying to say and make us more aware of people’s reactions to what we say and do. We can also use it to

adjust our own body language so that we appear more positive, engaging and approachable.

Jesus was the master of reading body language. He could cut through people’s words to see into their hearts. He knew the story of the woman at the well from observation. He could read the arrogance of the rich young ruler before he even spoke. His tuned-in nature allowed him to have honest, frank conversations with a gentle candor. He was able to convict others without judgment, challenge without rancor, and communicate in a way that seared people’s hearts with God.

We need to battle stridence with an empathy which comes from paying attention to body language. When we are having a difficult or uncomfortable conversation, don’t just think about our next words. Watch the person we are speaking with. If they are exhibiting one or more of the following traits, they will likely be disengaged, disinterested or unhappy:

Arms folded in front of the body. Minimal or tense facial expression. Body turned away. Eyes downcast, maintaining little contact. When we notice this, we can adjust what we are saying… or how we are saying it. This Lenten journey calls us to a new awareness. Our goal in life should not be to win debates. Our goal should be to connect with others so that love can grow. What a wonderful testimony it would be if someone could say, “I experienced Christ in you.” We should settle for nothing less.