Saying one final goodbye

Caroline Groceman

2023. Four numbers that always felt so far away, but are now changing my life.

I never would’ve thought I would be here, writing this final goodbye for the Pepper Box. If you would’ve asked me freshman year if I would’ve joined the newspaper I probably would’ve laughed. I’ve gone from being a shy, quiet girl who hated having to be in a position where I was leading to a girl who became outgoing and someone who willingly joined a club that needed me to be.

It all started in Mrs. Tedgerdine’s kindergarten classroom at Wyland; the play kitchen in the corner, the small backpacks on the back of the small chairs, the color behavior cards, the holding a ‘bubble’ in the hallway to stay quiet. It all feels like it was yesterday, but here I am today about to graduate.

High school in particular was an experience. I knew going through high school was going to be a challenge but it was something that I always looked forward to. Going through high school and experiencing Covid along with it was something that I never would have ever expected. Hearing the news freshman year and thinking, “wow I get an extra long Spring Break,” ultimately led to sitting in my room sophomore year during school over a computer. The pandemic definitely put a damper on my high school experience. I missed out on so many things that I had been looking forward to and so many experiences that were supposed to change my life. It definitely brought up some challenges, but ultimately made me a stronger student. I had to learn to hold myself accountable for the work that I do and make sure that even if there are obstacles in the way to still do your best.

Junior year I joined the Pepper Box and from there my life was changed forever. I used to be terrified at the thought of having to interview someone, or stand up in front of the class and present something. Now as a senior, I am much more confident and comfortable with who I am as a person, and the Pepper Box was a huge part of that.

I made many new friends and understood that when I was terrified to stand up and present or interview someone that I wasn’t alone and that ultimately no one was paying much attention anyways. Now here I am ending my year with the Pepper Box as not only a staff member, but an editor as well.

I never really saw myself being involved in high school because even though I could talk to people, I didn’t like being the social butterfly. As high school went on I realized the more things you are involved in the more friends and relationships you make and the more enjoyable high school is. If I would’ve spent my time secluding myself I would have never figured out who I was and who I am meant to be.

Pulling yourself out of your comfort zone is probably one of the hardest challenges of high school. Being able to put yourself out there even when you are terrified is something that I think everyone should do, it will change your life. Yes, there are downfalls and hard times but if you just keep pushing through it will all be worth it.

Being the seniors of the school always felt like it would mean something. Don’t get me wrong, it definitely does, but not in the way you always thought it would be. Instead of feeling like the top of the school, it was more of a feeling of accomplishment. We earned this spot and we worked our butts off to get to where we are today. Ending this chapter of my life is something that is bringing me more emotions that I thought you could have at once; the relief of being done with this responsibility, the sadness of leaving so many people behind, the happiness of moving on to something new, but also being terrified that everything is about to change.

The last 13 years of my life had been structured for me. I knew exactly what I would be doing during the months of August-May and that summer vacation was my time. Now here I am never getting that same summer vacation again, knowing that my summer will be spent working and preparing for college.

While I am excited to start a new journey after high school, I have to say that I will miss it. Even though high school was rough it is something that I will always remember.