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QUIBBLER September 2012
Issue no. Five
http://pottermoreforum.net
A look back on the PFF Olympics A NEW HOROSCOPE FROM MANDY AND KARMA LILYLOVEGOOD27’S LONG LOST ARTICLE
Yes, we have finally acquired it and it’s ready for publishing! Ready for the scoop on Rita Skeeter? Continued on Page 4
Severus Snape opens up in his first interview since joining PFF!
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: - BLAST FROM THE PAST: SQUIRRELS TAKE OVER THE WART AWARDS - NEW COLUMN: SPELL DISSECTION BY OAKNIGHT - INTERVIEW WITH SEVERUS SNAPE - A REPORT ON THE DUELING TOURNAMENT
AND MORE!
NARGLES RUN AMOK
PumpkinPasties619 was at the center of a Nargle attack. Being the loyal Quibbler reporter he is, he of course interviewed other people who were involved. Continued on Page 6
THE LATEST HARRY POTTER NEWS
As every month, we have the freshest, juiciest, best Harry Potter-related news for you, all in a handy little package. Don’t miss a thing in Potter-world! Continued on Page 10
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The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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Olympics, Dueling... and a Quibbler! Eep, my first time writing the foreword! I hope I can do Luna justice! I suppose I should update you on Luna’s whereabouts first. Along with her Watch Out! article, she sent us a letter. Apparently Rolf Scamander asked her out! Oh my, I do hope it’s not just the result of a Evoller sting. What, you don’t know what an Evoller is? You’d better turn to the Watch Out! column then to read all about them- these things can be dangerous! If you don’t know what to look for, you could just be going about your business like normal when suddenly - WHAM! - you’re madly in love with your broomstick. Or cauldron, or best friend - whatever is closest at the time. Dangerous, I’m tellin’ ya! Last month our dear Karma Crude and Mandy Wunkpip weren’t able to give us a horoscope, so their- er, interesting neighbour had to step in. This month they’re back in action though, and of course they’ve got their predictions ready for all you virgo’s out there! Of course we’re also reporting on the Olympics, which took pace at the beginning of August (as you most likely know). Seamus and Oliver had a little accident so they couldn’t make it, but I think we found a good replacement. She took some time out of her very busy training schedule especially for us! Who am I talking about, you wonder? You’ll just have to read the article!
The Dueling Tournament also concluded this month, so we sent a reporter out to report on that, too. Quite a sporty issue this is turning out to be! Oh and I’d almost forget! You remember that article LilyLovegood27 wrote which kept getting stolen by Nargles? Well guess what?! We finally got it back! We got some Aurors and some Mountain Trolls to guard it for us (though the Aurors didn’t seem too happy about that for some reason - I wonder why?). So you’ll finally be able to read the juice details on Rita Skeeter! Now if only I could find my Travels with Trolls (and Jack) article... darn Nargles! So how did I do on my first foreword? -Rhynn, Quibbler Editor
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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Blast from the Past: Squirrels take over the WART Awards BY RHYNN In Blast from the Past we present articles from older Quibbler editions, one article each month. This month’s article is one from the very first Quibbler our current team made. It’s our first report on the Squirrels and how they tried to control the WART Awards. AS MOST OF YOU KNOW, the
Minister for Magic is in the middle of the W.A.R.T. (Wizarding Award Reward Trophy) awarding process for the third time. And we’re starting to notice a disconcerting pattern. The nominees are supposed to be selected by a specially trained Committee, known as the C o m m i t t e e o f N o m i n at o r s (C.O.N.). However, for each of the three award periods, this committee has been unable to do its job.
And each time, the Minister has given a reason which has something to do with squirrels. This time the reason is thus: “Due to a recent accident involving an army of talking squirrels and a questionable acorn, the nomination committee for the W.A.R.T. awards will be unable to nominate contenders for the Awards once again.” SO WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON?!
We think we have the answer. As we’ve mentioned in a previous article, we strongly suspect the Minister himself of being a squirrel. He may well be the
mastermind behind the entire nargle/squirrel alliance. However, there might be a small faction within the squirrel community which is against his devious plans. The questionable acorn? We think it was a spying device planted by this opposition. At first, the Minister did not suspect a thing, of course. After all, who would suspect a deliciouslooking acorn? Reports tell us he stashed the thing safely away to be feasted on this winter. However, the Opposition’s technician is apparently still a bit of a rookie. He had put in old
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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batteries and after a few weeks just a month before the start of the award process - the acorn started beeping for a change of batteries. Of course the Opposition tried everything to get into the Ministry and replace the batteries. They thought the best way of reaching their goal would be to sign up and train for the C.O.N. And, hard workers as they are, they reached their goal. In fact, the entire committee was made up of Opposition squirrels all the other applicants did not manage to get the required grades on their Nomination Exams. They had not, however, fully planned out their infiltration. After they had gained access to Level One, where the Minister’s Office and the Winter Stash is located, they went for the acorn en masse. Of course this did not go unnoticed by other Ministry workers, who called for the Aurors immediately.
Not one squirrel got away. At present, they are all being held in Azkaban on suspicion of treason towards the Ministry - quite serious charges! The Wizengamot is scheduled to hear them within the upcoming month. As is our policy for such events, we will be sending a Quibbler reporter to the scene, so expect a follow-up of this story in next month’s Quibbler!
A spying Opposition squirrel, just after noticing our cameras pointing at him
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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Undercover Truth: The Scandalous Scoop on Rita Skeeter BY LILYLOVEGOOD27, GUEST REPORTER WE HAVE ALL READ HER STORIES, wether we
agree with the or not, seen many of her books including one of her bestselling novels, ‘A r m a n d o D i p p e t : Master or Moron?’ or even, ‘The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore’. Rita Skeeter is one of the most recognized reporters in the wizarding world. But do her blonde curls and blue eyes really make her look that innocent? How does she get all of her information? What stolen secrets will be drawn from her inkwell next? And most importantly, who will stop her? We have the answers and we are here to report it first thing to you!
Rita Skeeter always wanted to be a famous journalist. She wanted to be a Golden Quill w i n n i n g ( w i z a rd i n g world’s version of the Muggles’ Pulitzer Prize award) house hold name. She would do anything to be in that position! Anything... she needed the juicy stories with fantastic secrets, and she got them. But how? She has been quite dramatic in articles and her controversial books, but how does she come by such gossip for her columns? We wanted to know and we knew our readers would, too. Let’s get the scoop on Skeeter.
As some people may now know from Rita Skeeter’s new column in the Daily Prophet, Aurors are looking for the remaining Death Eaters. The ministry, including Aurors Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, had a top secret meeting about the whereabouts of a high-ranking Death Eater. There were only eight people in the meeting that day. The next morning, the papers were littered with all of the plans that were discussed and none other than Rita Skeeter had the buzz. Everyone was so outraged by t h i s, t h at t h e M i n i s t r y demanded answers. The next day, Rita Skeeter and her cameraman, Bozo, were taking into the Ministry for questioning about the incident.
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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Rita of course said she got a tip from an anonymous source. Bozo, however, was so upset by this whole ordeal that he spilled the beans on Rita almost instantly. Being with Rita almost constantly in order to be able to catch a story at any time, Bozo knew all of her dirty little secrets. First, he told us that she used a jinxed Quick Quotes Quill designed for a dramatic story no matter what. However, this isn’t what we were most interested in. How does she get such confidential information? In that top secret meeting, there were actually nine people in the room. Rita was there too, although she was not in human form. Other trusted, confidential
sources confirmed that Rita S k e e t e r i s a n u n re g i s t e re d Animagus. The form she takes is a beetle, in order to be able to sneak into places without being seen to get dirt for her next story. Our latest sources say that she is awaiting trial at the Ministry and could be facing anywhere from 10 to 15 years in Azkaban for Slander of regular citizens as well as the Ministry of Magic, trespassing on multiple properties from which she had been banned, giving strong truth serums to unsuspecting informants, and not registering as an Animagus for an unknown number of years. Her cameraman, Bozo, is now working for the Quibbler in the same
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capacity and has totally turned his life around. Rita Skeeter has written horribly embellished tales about many witches and wizards, and even the Ministry of Magic itself. However, she now won’t be writing many articles anymore. Who knows, she could change her ways; but for now, the only stories she’ll be writing are about the Dementors, written on her prison walls.
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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Scandalous Scuttlebutt FROM OUR RESIDENT WISECRACKING WITCH, XAPPLECHAIX THIS MONTH, THE CRAZY ANTICS of
our PFFers didn’t let up! As usual, our Slytherins have been sneaking around, and this reporter (being a bit sneaky herself) was there to witness everything! So put down any liquids you may be inclined to ingest, as the person across from you doesn’t appreciate getting sprayed - yes, it really is THAT scandalous! FIRST UP WE HAVE THE CASE OF the feline fiasco-
let’s just say those pesky squirrels have a new enemy on their paws! Although known for their love of kitty cats, this devious duo found themselves in too deep when they recently ‘visited’ the Magical Menagerie in Diagon Alley. As most of you will recall, the streets were flooded with cats of every size and colour not that long ago, causing mayhem everywhere. As it turns out, the two responsible are none other than Dia and Isobel! Whilst running some errands in Diagon Alley, this reporter
happened to see the whole thing! The two were obviously in cahoots with each other, planning
with the nargles, the cats are planning to ambush the squirrels for their afternoon snack... This reporter can’t decide if this new squirrel-feline feud is a good thing, or a CATastrophe waiting to happen! NEXT UP WE HAVE A CASE
to have Dia distract the saleswoman while dear Izzy opened the cat cages and shooed them out. Using ‘alohomora’ on all the cages at once was clearly where the two went wrong. Nobody was expecting waves of cats to rush into the streets! The ice cream parlour was especially in trouble when the cats rioted and chased the patrons away, licking away the remnants of dropped ice cream cones. The dastardly felines were quite obviously pleased with their success and formed an army. Last heard, while those squirrels are forming an alliance
of a certain girl going all ‘ninja’ on our fellow PFF members Last week I happened upon Rhynn by chance, tripping over her while doing some sleuthing of my own. I asked Rhynn just what it was she was doing, to which she replied, “Watching”. Well, while that’s a little creepy, I decided to stick with her to see if anything interesting would come of it. She seemed to be following Dani around, the latter taking an innocent stroll through the moonlight. “Did you know Dani has a scar on her arm?” Rhynn asked me. I told her I didn’t but was confused as to what she was getting at. Sensing my confusion, she whispered, “Teeth marks- a vampire!”
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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This is not the first time Rhynn has thought she has crossed paths with a vampire, and at that moment I realized that with her pale blonde hair and light blue eyes, Dani resembled Fleur Delacour, who is Rhynn’s former victim. “She’s either a vampire or a very suspicious Veela,” Rhynn declared. “Why are Veela suspicious?” I asked, but Rhynn just shook her head. “The question is: is she Dani or Danibella?” At that point I decided it was in my best interest to leave, reminding myself to warn Dani to take her daily strolls outside in the strong sunlight every once in a while. A message to all the PFFers out there- if you suddenly feel like you’re being watched, ponder if you’ve been exhibiting any vampire-like behaviours lately, it could be that Rhynn is suspecting you too!
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course at this point the Gryffindor alumni all started cheering, drowning out any sounds to everybody else. This reporter was just close enough to Riv, however, to hear her sigh, pull her fist to her chest and say, “I’ll never wash this hand again,” before running off. Watch out Astoria, I think it can be said that Draco was put in his place by a charming young lady in a dirndl- one who took off without telling Draco her name. Ahh, what a lovely Cinderella story this may turn out to be! Rattle on! xxxAppleChaix!
FINALLY, WE HAVE A SWEETLY SCANDALOUS ENCOUNTER between often fought-over bad boy,
Draco Malfoy, and our sweetheart Slytherin, Riv. While this encounter could have resulted in a happy ending, it’s unfortunate that crowds of Gryffindor alumni were near Draco and Riv during the exchange. Draco was witnessed showing actual kindness to a lost child (although let’s be honest here, he was probably just showing off), straightening up and shooting a wink at Riv, who stopped in her tracks. A conversation was had between the two, and Riv seemed to be acting flattered and shy, a light blush coming to her cheeks. It was at this moment when this reporter overheard Draco make a BIG mistake. “So uh, what’s with the getup?” “It’s called a dirndl, do you like it?”, asked Riv, a hint of hope in her voice. “Sure, but you realize it’s not Christmas until December, right?” Draco barely got out a laugh before Riv reeled back her fist and decked him right in the nose! Of
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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KC’s Korner
FUN AND GAMES FROM KCMARAUDER
The Ravenclaw Edition! Hey everyone! Welcome to another awesome issue of KC’s Korner. I hope you enjoyed the special birthday edition last month, as well as the birthday celebrations the mods and prefects put on for you. I know it took a few days for me to recover from all those brownies and bottles of butterbeer... *Ahem* Well, enough about that, I’m back on home territory this month, as you readers voted for a claw theme for this issue! At least I didn’t have to borrow clothes this time! Our emblem is the eagle! Which soars where others cannot climb! So put your arms out like wings and flap ‘em all crazy like an eagle and show us claws some love! (Oh dear, Dani is flapping around the Quibbler office with Luna now, who dropped in for a bit... No Dani! Watch where you are flapping those arms! Rhynn is walking through the... oh, too late...)
Caption Contest!
And the winning caption goes to... Sapphire! “Cedric was so much better when he was alive... Now he doesn’t smile... he sparkles” Don’t forget to check my thread in the Wizarding Wireless Network to check the latest caption contest!
Celeb Spot!
Ever wonder what your prestigious ex-editor here at the Quibbler gets up to in her spare time when she’s not exploring? Want to know how Luna Lovegood kicks back and relaxes? Well look no further, ‘cause here we have a cheeky snap of her gatecrashing a performance at last year’s Leaky Con! Yup, she just jumped on stage with those snazzy heart glasses and got her boogie on! (Photo was sent in anonymously, it was not I repeat NOT stolen from Luna’s desk drawer... *cough*)
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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Tweet Tweet! Some Claw related tweets to celebrate our clever eagle-ness!
Ravenclaw Tweets @RavenclawTweets #youknowyourearavenclaw when even your less clever ideas are still pretty impressive.
Ravenclaw Tweets @RavenclawTweets A smart person knows what to say. A wise person knows whether to say it or not.
Creature of the Month! It only makes sense that the creature this month be our lovely golden eagle. Yes that’s right EAGLE, not RAVEN! *ahem* anyway... The golden eagle is a protected species (and so it should be!) so it is against the law to kill these lovely birds. Here in the UK, they mainly reside in Scotland, living in the moorlands and mountains (probably quite near Hogwarts...). They mate for life (aww) and perform impressive aerial courtships to win over a mate. Golden eagles have great agility and are able to catch animals such as rabbits, squirrels, foxes and sometimes even reptiles. Are you listening, Slytherins? Be nice to us! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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Well, I hope you all enjoyed the special claw issue this month! I know I enjoyed writing it! Not that I’m biased in any way at all... Just remember, KC’s Korner needs your input too to keep being so awesome and what not. So remember to check my thread and send me all your funny stories, jokes and the captions for the contest! Thanks for Rhynn and Luna for putting this all together, you guys rock! Next month of KC’s Korner will be back to normal non themed... Boring you say? Fear not, Quibbler fans, KC’s Korner will be just as fun next month! And Gryffs and Slyths, fear not, you will get your themed issue soon! Until next month, folks! Keep flapping! KC
JOB OPENINGS The Ministry of Magic is currently looking for applicants to fill several positions. Send an inquiry owl to the Undersecretary or visit the Ministry for more info. To apply, send an owl carrying your resumé and application letter to the Undersecretary to the Minister.
Due to a small accident, the Wizengamot needs a new court scribe. Quick writing skills, impeccable grammar and an affinity for law are required. Send your application in threefold by owl to Mr. Percy Weasley.
Like sports? Apply for a job at the Department of Games and Sports! Free tickets to Quidditch games, adventures looking for lost referees, endless debates about rules - sounds like your cup of tea? Apply now! Experience as a Beater is a pre, we need one for our team.
The Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes has had a little accident, minor catastrophe really, and needs a new clerk. Minimal field work, cozy office, friendly co-worker. You’ll be set for life! Owl Mr. Arthur Weasley to schedule an interview!
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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We wish to congratulate the following people on getting a well-deserved promotion on PFF!
DawnPumpkin33 Congratulations on your promotion to Professor!
KCMarauder and EmmyK Congratulations on getting promoted to Head Prefects!
Heartrose Congratulations on becoming Gryffindor Prefect!
Raytoria and Jag17 Congratulations on your new positions as Hufflepuff Prefects!
Dia Congratulations on becoming Slytherin Head of House!
Want to write for the Quibbler? Send an owl or Personal Message to any Quibbler reporter with a sample article and details on what you have to offer us. Or, if you want to just submit one article, owl or PM that to any Quibbler reporter and it just might appear in the next issue! The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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Assorted Announcements HOGWARTS GRADUATES
This month, some Hogwarts students have graduated and entered unemployment! We congratulate them and wish them luck with getting a job! The graduates: -Aspy! -Deaniebeanie!
The Department of Mysteries did not have to miss an Unspeakable for long, however, as they drafter PumpkinPasties619 from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Good luck in your new position, PumpkinPasties619!
MINISTRY PROMOTIONS
The Ministry of Magic is pleased to announce that Riv has been transferred to the Department of Mysteries! We have no idea what she will be doing in there, but we wish her luck with whatever it is!
SEPTEMBER BIRTHDAYS
We would like to wish these people a happy birthday this month: -03: Dia -05: Facundo -07: xAppleChaix
-15: Ghost of Cedric -17: BleepBloopBuzz -17: Mad Arrow -26: Sam -30: Riv The complimentary birthday package courtesy of Sugarplum’s Sweet Shop will soon be making it’s way towards the birthday girls and boys! As always this is provided Errol Jr. will find its way. Congratulations!
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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Sparks fly at the Dueling Tournament! BY KCMARAUDER First of all, let’s all give a huge congratulations to Dueling tourney winner DRACONIS! As well as giving a huge round of applause to all the finalists and other competitors! In case you haven’t seen it, Draconis has received this very lovely trophy to display in the Hufflepuff common room and to proudly display in his signature on the forum!
But how exactly did we get from nearly twenty-five duelers to one victorious? Well, I’ll tell you! The Dueling Tournament idea came about oh so very long ago way back when Pottermore was not open to everyone and we had the house of Profugo. Well, this made it all very difficult to duel and it seemed unfair to leave them out! But alas! Pottermore opened to everyone and plans recommenced to start PFF’s very first dueling tournament! So the Prefects of the forum banded together and started planning the tournament. Members of the forum rushed to sign up for the
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tournament and it wasn’t long before the preliminary rounds started. Duelers from every house would be whittled down to two competitors, to represent their house in the finals for the chance to win the title of first every dueling champion! The preliminary rounds kicked off with the easy pimple jinx, then moving on to the leglocker curse to narrow the competitors down. Many duels were fought until two contenders from each house were left. After a long break the final rounds of the competition started! The finalists from each house were Rhynn and Ashdust from Slytherin, Heartrose and Dutchess from Gryffindor, Viridis Aureus and PotionScale
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Dusty The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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from Ravenclaw and Draconis and Rumbleroar from Hufflepuff ! We kicked the first final round off with the tickling hex. The pairings were randomly selected and were as follows: Rhynn vs. Rumbleroar Ashdust vs. Viridis Aureus PotionScale vs. Heartrose Dutchess vs. Draconis Rhynn and Rumbleroar rushed to get their wand straight aw ay a n d w a s t e d n o t i m e throwing the tickling hex at each other! After a lot of throwing the jinx at the same time, Rhynn finally overpowered Rumbleroar, and he was left giggling on the floor like a mad hatter! PotionScale and Heartrose then picked up their own wands and begun their round, with Draconis and Dutchess following closely behind. Potsy took an early lead and looked pretty confident
as she threw that hex at Heartrose. But Heartrose looked determined, and she hit back hard and took the round from Potsy. Potsy congratulated her opponent, wished her companion Viri luck and took to the stands to watch the rest of the round. Meanwhile, Draconis sent a perfect hex at Dutchess that could just not be matched and took an easy defeat over her, progressing to the next round. The winners so far were Rhynn, Heartrose and Draconis, However, Viri from Ravenclaw was nowhere to be seen! Plot twist! The favourite to win, PFF’s most famous dueler, has gone MIA! Ashdust sat around watching the other duelers looking rather bored as we sent various owls and messages to Viri. After hoping that Viri is ok, we put Ash through by default and Viri was eliminated from the tournament.
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After a restful few days, the new pairings were up and the new pairings were as follows: Rhynn vs. Heartrose Draconis vs. Ashdust Two Slytherins, a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff. Ravenclaw was out of the competition! For the penultimate round we threw the jelly-legs jinx at our finalists! They looked slightly worried as they all skulked off to have a bit of practice before facing their opponents. After a few practice shots, Rhynn and Heartrose got stuck in with Rhynn taking an early lead. Heartrose fought back hard and got a few great shots in. It was very close with a lot of ties, but it wasn’t enough to knock Rhynn back and she took another victory and left another finalist behind! Heartrose took to the stands with thunderous applause and well wishes from her fellow
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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PFF’ers. She fought well and didn’t disappoint her house! Meanwhile it was time for Draconis and Ashdust to duel, Ashdust looking particularly ready for action! But maybe all that time off did Ashdust no favours, as Draconis makes yet another easy defeat! That left us with one Slytherin and one Hufflepuff to battle it out to become PFF’s very first dueling champ! All the finalists shook hands and congratulated each other (my my, we are all such good sports here!) and Rhynn and Draconis prepared for their final match with the whole of PFF watching them. Of course for the final spell we gave them one of the hardest spells we could muster and presented them with: the Tongue-Tying spell! The great hall was a sea of yellow and green, the noise was deafening and everyone cheered for their very last finalists! Both Drac and Rhynn looked very determined as they gripped their wands and got ready for their final duel. PFF’s top two duelers began firing their spells at each other, hoping to leave their opponent as tongue tied as Harry on a date with Cho, and take the trophy and victory for their house. Draconis really is a sensational dueler though and he makes his third
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and final straight win against Rhynn. Rhynn’s tongue was immediately un-tied so she could congratulate the winner and doesn’t just shake his hand, but gives hum a great big hug! N’aww! Hufflepuff house goes ballistic and they whoop and cheer and throw yellow confetti around the place like lunatics whilst Draconis happily accepts his well-earned trophy! He was shaking just a little whilst stammering his congrats and thanks out. Hufflepuff are still going crazy about their first win here on PFF and so they should! If you haven’t congratulated Draconis yet, don’t forget to! He never lost a single shot, amazing! I bet there was some amount of Butterbeer in the common room that night! Everyone seemed to enjoy the competition and we all agreed it was a huge success! Many thanks to the members for signing up and making the tournament so fun to watch! And of course thanks to Velmur who posted the original idea, DawnPumpkin33 for picking it back up and all the Prefects for working hard to make it all happen! I look forward to the next tournament! Again congratulations Draconis, and well done to every other competitor! You were all great.
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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So many syllables, WHY? BY OAKNIGHT Hello and welcome to my new column (that will probably not appear in column format, but that’s hardly the point) in which I dissect incantations. Together we will explore why it is that we say these crazy words in order to perform spells. They may appear nonsensical at first blush, but with a little luck I will be able to show you how in fact they are not simply random concatenations of syllables.
the same thing. Wingardium has an obvious connection to the word wing, and Leviosa sure looks like levitate. So isn’t it redundant to have both words? Wouldn’t simply Leviosa work? In fact, Hobart had good reason to add Wingardium to Leviosa, and that reason is that Leviosa on its own is already a spell. It is the Levitation Charm, and unlike the Hover Charm, it can only levitate the object, it cannot move it around.
For this edition of the Quibbler, let me examine one of the most basic of the spells: the Hover Charm. As I’m sure you are all aware, the incantation for the Hover Charm is Wingardium Leviosa. Now who would be so cruel as to make the incantation to the first charm you ever learn so very long?
But then you ask, why not Wingardium on its own? Sure, it doesn’t sound as cool when unaccompanied, but it would be easier? And don’t try to tell me that it is a spell which moves things around on the ground, because the incantation for that spell is Locomotor.
Jarleth Hobart, that’s who. Now when you glance at this spell it looks like it is all talking about
To answer those questions and observations, let’s take a look at the etymology of the incantation. Wingardium has two roots: wing and
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arduus. Wing in Wingardium probably doesn’t refer to the noun wing, since the spell doesn’t cause the object to sprout wings. Instead it is most likely from the verb to wing, meaning to fly. Arduus on the other hand, is a Latin word meaning lofty or steep. Tack on the common Latin ending -ium and you have Wingardium. As for Leviosa, its root is in the Latin word Levo, meaning to lift up, just like the English word levitate. With this in mind, here’s how I see it. Wingardium doesn’t work on its own because it is designed to move objects around when they are already in the air, and if the objects aren’t in the air already, what is it supposed to do? That’s where
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Leviosa comes in. Leviosa provides the levitation required for Wingardium to work. Thus we have Wingardium meaning ‘to fly high’ and Leviosa to cause the object to be high so that it can fly. Have ideas for spells to analyze? Think this analysis needs some tweaking or is just plain wrong? Send me an owl (PM) and I may print your thoughts and/or analyze your spell in the next issue!
Magical Advice from our Wonder Witch! BY OUR TRUSTED ADVISOR, EMMYK
For many of you, you will be making your journey back to Hogwarts very soon. With the summer ending and the start of the school year approaching, so is the stress. To avoid the late nights, forgotten papers, and rushing to class, here are some tips for you to stay calm, cool and collected this year! Keep a planner - As soon as you have something that needs to be done, put it in your planner. This way, when you get to the end of the day, you aren’t trying to remember that ‘thing’ you had to do for Potions. At the end of each school day, check your planner to see what you must get done and check it off as you do. It will help you feel more in control of your busy schedule. Form a study group - Round up some fellow classmates from a variety of houses (you all have something different to offer up to a study group) and meet weekly to go over class notes and homework. Take turns discussing what has been
giving you troubles. This way, you are reviewing and are able to hear other opinions on a certain topic. Keep things in perspective - It is easy when we get overwhelmed to think that things can’t possibly get better, or that we won’t be able to get through it. Remember to take a deep breath, and remove yourself from the situation. Instead of looking at everything you have to do, take it step by step. In the grand scheme of life you have to remember that the Transfiguration homework you can’t figure out will not be the end of the world. Think of metaphors to help you through; instead of thinking of your problems like one big knot, figure out how to slowly untie the know one piece at a time.
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“Dear Emmy, I’ve been having problems with the students here at Hogwarts. I’m a Ravenclaw, but I’m not super dedicated like the rest of the claws. I don’t really fit in with these students and I’m not sure why the sorting hat placed me here. They all have their inside jokes and whenever I enter the common room, they just go about their conversation and don’t even acknowledge my existence. I just want to stay in my room all the time now. I don’t even know what to do anymore. -The Ravenclaw Recluse” Oh my dear Ravenclaw Recluse! I am so sorry to hear that this is going on. Just know that you aren’t alone in those feelings. Some might tell you to put yourself out there more, to include your self in their conversations. Honestly though, if they aren’t realizing that a fellow house mate is being left out, that might not be the group of people you want to be around. Who says that you can only be friends with people in your house? Venture out of your room, go to the library or the game room and find some students who have
common interests. There are many students at Hogwarts, you are bound to find someone who likes the same things you do. Gryffindors are usually kind and outgoing, they make good friends. Hufflepuffs will love you no matter who you are. And Slytherins, well, if you are looking for a good time they will definitely show you the way (just be sure to stay out of trouble)!
“Emmy, I want to try out for the Quidditch team, the only problem is that I’ve never played Quidditch before. I grew up in the Muggle world, so I never had any exposure to the game. I’m a fairly good flyer and I love to watch matches and read books on it. I just think I would make a fool out of myself if I even tried out.
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Muggle world, and was the best Seeker Gryffindor ever had. From the sound of it, you know a lot about the sport. Even if you do not make the team, it will be a good experience to try out and you will gain more knowledge for the next time you try! You never know what will happen, but it is worth the shot if Quidditch is something you truly enjoy. Better to try and fail, than never try and wonder ‘what if ?’ Good luck! Let me know how it turns out for you! Do you have a (magical) problem? Or do you need advice on anything? Don’t wait, send an owl to EmmyK!
Dire Flyer” Fabulous Flyer (may I call you that instead), You need to have more confidence! Just because you did not grow up around Quidditch, doesn’t mean you won’t be good at it. Take Harry Potter for instance. He grew up in the
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Watch Out! The Evoller BY OUR MAGIZOOÖLOGIST, LUNA LOVEGOOD We l c o m e b a c k fo r my second time doing the Watch Out! Column! This month I’ve got a fabulous creature for youliterally! The Evoller looks quite fabulous and dashing, with its lilac, turquoise and pink feathers. This bird struts about, looking like a tiny version of Gilderoy Lockhart! I first saw this bird when I was out in town with Rolf (Scamander). They don’t usually live in urban areas, but this one was actually not quite alive anymore. I noticed the creature in a stall off in an alley that needed some cleaning and a light. I asked the stall owner about it - for some reason he seemed a bit hesitant to answer. But still, he told me it’s an Evoller and not to bother with it. I couldn’t help but examine it a bit better, though. Its beak reminded me a bit of a Hummingbird, but it’s quite a bit larger. Its neck was dashingly pink, the wings brightly turquoise and the long tail feathers are a lilac that would make Mr. Lockhart jealous. The bird is about as large as a parrot, I would say.
Rolf wasn’t very comfortable in the alleyway, so we left again and went back to our camp outside of town. When we arrived, I couldn’t be more surprised - there it was, s trollin g aroun d! A n oth er Evoller! And it was heading for my dad. I was about to call out to him to turn around so he could see it, when the Evoller stung him with his beak - right in the behind! The effect of the Evoller sting was instantaneous. Daddy looked at the tent... and went in for a hug! I approached and found him whispering sweet things to the tent flaps. Daddy had fallen in love with the tent! It wore off after an hour or so, by which time the Evoller had left already. But it seems an Evoller sting causes the person who was stung to fall in love with whatever is closest. And it doesn’t even matter if whatever is closest can love back! What a wonderful thing!
But, I can imagine it can cause some problems. I mean, if you’re in a relationship with someone and you get stung by an Evoller causing you to fall in love with, say, the table, I’m sure the person you’re in a relationship with would be a little upset. Some people might even be upset enough to end the relationship! I wonder how many breakups there have been already because of these very much unknown creatures? And I wonder... would Evoller stings be more potent or less potent than Amortentia? Does it really create love, instead of just an obsession or infatuation? Well, I don’t know, but I definitely am going to investigate these fabulous birds. Meanwhile, I urge you to Watch Out! for the Evollers, lest you suddenly find yourself in love with odd persons or objects!
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August Horoscope: Virgo BY KARMA CRUDE AND MANDY WUNKPIP Karma Crude and Mandy Wunkpip are back! Their Firewhiskey poisoning is over, Peach Pail is on a well-deserved vacation in the Arctic Circle and Karma and Mandy have gotten out their crystal balls once gain to foretell the future. This month is Virgo month; Virgo’s, listen well to what the lovely ladies are saying - it might save your life! Though that might require doing exactly the opposite of what they’re saying... Karma: Mandy, why is it so dark in here? Mandy: What? I’ve got no firewhisk- Oh... that. Funny think, I overheard some Muggles talking about being green. Confused me, of course, so I asked what they meant... K arma: Give me that bottle, woman! Wait... You spoke to Muggles? Mandy: Oh yes. Lovely creatures, those Muggles. I could have sworn the one was a Death Eater. Apparently skull and serpent tattoos are common among Muggle men, though. He had other tattoos, as well, and they looked like Azkaban inmate symbols... so, of course, I was quite certain he had to have been a dark wizard and was just disguising - Karma, are you okay? Karma: (stutters) M-MMandy... you didn’t attack him did you?! Mandy: Blimey, no! I just asked him if I could touch the serpent to see if it would wiggle.
You know, test if You-KnowWho was around. He just laughed. K ar ma: (mumbles) I wonder why. Mandy: What’s that? Karma: Oh I said... so why are we in the dark? Mandy: They told me to be green, you need to conserve energy. One of the ways of doing that is by turning off all the lights. So I did. Karma: So.. you turned off all of the... candles? Mandy, you do know that Muggles... never mind. Mandy: Yes. Burnt my fingers in the process. See! So can’t I have my drink back? Karma: Oh for the love of Godric Gryffindor... woman! What am I going to do with you? And how do you suppose we’re going to be able to read the crystal ball for our next Quibbler reading - in the dark? Mandy: Simple - Lumos Maxima! There... all lit up! Oh! There’s the bottle.
Karma: Oh, right... forgot about that. Anyways... this month, dear Mandy, we are doing a special reading for the lovely Virgo’s out there. Mandy: Virgo’s! You know who was a lovely Virgo? That dear girl, Hermione Granger. K ar ma: Ah, yes, Ms. Granger. She exemplifies Virgo quite well, wouldn’t you say? Mandy: Quite, yes. Modest, r e l i a b l e, f u s s y, p r a c t i c a l , perfectionist, intelligent.. she screams Virgo! I hear she can be a bit obsessive, though. K arma: Speaking of which, did you hear about that poor Virgo who was so fussy she spent an entire month cleaning her house? She did nothing else but clean! Mandy: I did hear that! So fussy about everything needing to be perfect... shame really. Did you know she scrubbed the detail right off those gorgeous tiles in the kitchen? Neurotic. Karma: Yes, that’s the one! Oh, it is such a shame. Those cat
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patterned tiles were just lovely; with all those curly whiskers and button noses... speaking of cats Mandy, where is yours? Mandy: My cat? Dolores, Do-o-olores, where - oh, there you are, pretty kitty. Oh Dolores... you got milk on the crystal ball. Oh wait, no... the fog is swirling. Karma, what do you see? Karma: (mumbles) Dolores? Who calls their... never mind. You didn’t put firewhiskey in her bowl again did you, Mandy? Mandy: (coughs) No, never, As if I’d share? Karma: Right... anyway, back to the crystal ball. Obsessive cleaning isn’t the only tragedy our Virgo’s face this month, isn’t that right, Mandy? Mandy: Oh, no, I’m afraid not. Their need to analyze and be critical of everything will actually cause them a lot of harm in weeks
to come. I see many Virgo’s putting themselves in danger just to analyze Muggle traffic patterns - traffic patterns! I don’t even know what that means! Karma: Traffic patterns? I think I heard about traffic on a Muggle picture box once. Has something to do with those motor thingamabobs. Whatever their function is, I will never understand. That Arthur Weasley, bless, always tooling around on one, though. It’s a wonder the Ministry still lets him! Mandy: Motorbobs, right, of course. Well, seems as though our d e a r Vi rg o ’s w i l l h ave a n unquenchable thirst to figure out those motorbob patterns! Maybe we should send them on over to Mr. Weasley? Might save some dear Virgo’s, no? Karma: Might be wise to just warn our readers, Many. It
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isn’t like they’re going to be Mandy, where are you going? Mandy: I thought our guest might like some pie with her firewhiskey. K ar ma: Mandy, Rhynn doesn’t want pie nor firewhiskey. She’s just trying to finish up our reading so she can head back to the Quibbler office. Mandy! Mandy? Oh blimey... did she go out the back door again? Well, Virgo’s, I’m sorry but all I can say is beware of Muggle motorbobs and if you happen upon Mandy, please send her off to St. Mungo’s - I mean, home!
A look back on the Olympics BY GINNY WEASLEY AND XAPPLECHAIX Hello PFFers! Ginny Potter here, bringing you all the exciting news about the Olympics! First of all, before we begin, you guys know that I came up with the idea for a Harry Potter fan club first, right? Right?! It was way back, when I was a First Year student, you know!
My older brother Ronald, out of sheer dumb luck, sat beside Harry on the train to Hogwarts when they were First Year students. Harry had even been to my house the summer before I started Hogwarts- he was so sweet, you know, andwhat? Don’t be so rude, Ronald! Fine, fine, I’ll get on with it.
On August 12th, 2012, after a tremendously exciting round of games, the very first PFF Olympics officially came to a close. Did you know my brother Ronald snuck out to the Muggle side of London to carry the torch to the stadium? He used h i s f a l s e n a m e , Ru p e r t
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something or other, but everyone knew it was him! Mum was so mad, she whacked him over the head with a broom when he came round for dinner afterwards! But, ahem, moving on... During the closing ceremonies the medals were officially handed out for the individual competition and the trophy was awarded to the team with the highest points. For the individual competition, receiving a bronze medal with 72 points was... Aspy of Team Draco and Slytherin House! Wonderful job Aspy! Next up, with a total of 92 points, the silver medal went to Heartrose of Team Dragon and Gryffindor House! Whoo! Go Gryffindor- excellent work Heartrose! And the moment you’ve all b e e n w a i t i n g fo r, w i t h a
staggering point accumulation of 146, the gold medal went to SilverWolf of Team Dobby and H u f fl e p u f f House! Congratulations SilverWolf, and make sure to show off that gold, you’ve earned it! And of course cong ratulations to all the participants, you were all marvelous! After the medals were handed out to our amazing competitors, everybody waited in anticipation to hear who had won the trophy for the Team Competition. First place was awarded to... Team Dragon! Consisting of Hermione Leviosa, Heartrose, Dutchess and Ashdust, the team was able to pull in a total of 184 points, with Team Dobby in a close second at 173 points, and Team Draco in third place with 158
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points. Congratulations Team Dragon! Hope you guys enjoy that gorgeous trophy! Well, that’s it for the first Olympics, everyone! A big thank you to OakNight and Rhynn for making the games run smoothly and donating so much of their time to the event! Also thanks go to all our participants, congratulations on your hard work. We hope you had fun! Perhaps I’ll see you all in another two years, although I think Ronald will find it difficult to sneak into Russia for the ceremonies, being a redhead and all.. Oh dangit, I’m late for Quidditch practice. Come see me at the match against the Chudley Cannons on Saturday!
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An Interview with Severus Snape BY RHYNN Ever since we started making the Quibbler, we’ve been trying to get Severus Snape to give us an interview. He refused time and time again... but with only a little bit of- er, I don’t think I should tell you our methods. No, that’s not a good idea. Anyway, we interviewed Snape! Enjoy! Q u i b b l e r : We l c o m e , Professor! How are you today? Snape: *glares* I’m not so sure if I really feel welcome, here. I actually have no idea where here is. How did you bring me here, wherever we are? Q u i bb l e r: U h m , w e l l , that’s... *cough* Let’s just get started with the interview, shall we? You’ve been on PFF for a while now, how did you learn of the website and what made you decide to sign up? Snape: Fine, if an interview will shut you up, I will play along. But do NOT think I will forget this. You have been warned.
I heard of PFF while at a soirée at Malfoy Manor. Draco was discussing the website with Mr. Potter - why he was present I do not know. Their talk made me curious, so I decided to take a look. I noticed some discussion with myself as the subject. Now, normally I would not care, but I heard about an upcoming Yule Ball which sounded quite interesting so I decided to stay. Quibbler: Ooh, so you stayed for the Yule Ball? Snape: That is correct. The ball was, for lack of a better word, enjoyable. I then decided to stay around in order to keep an eye on what was said about me.
Quibbler: Interested in the gossip, huh! Now, a question I do actually already know the answer to, but I know there are readers who are wondering about it. How did you survive Nagini’s bite? Snape: Ah, that. *strokes the scars in his neck* I always knew I was at risk, so I carried a vial of antidote to Nagini’s venom on me at all times. When Potter left me for dead, I ingested the antidote and healed the wounds in my neck. In my weakened state I failed to heal them completely, which explains the presence of these scars. Quibbler: Wow, they look quite painful!
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There’s something I just have to know. You can fly. How did you learn? Snape: The Dark Lord taught me. I do not know how he learned the skill, himself, but he was an exceptionally powerful wizard and quite resourceful. Perhaps he developed the skill himself. I do not know why he found me worthy of learning the skill, but during one meeting he told me to stay behind. I was quite surprised when he told me he wanted me to learn how to fly, but as it is quite a useful skill, I did not complain. In all, it took me about a month to master it. Quibbler: I bet it feels amazing to fly without a broom or something like that. Now, something completely different. Why do you always wear black? Snape: Why do I- what a ridiculous question. I just don’t like colours. Dark green and a bit of silver are alright, I suppose, but they don’t look good on me. Quibbler: Nah, I think you’d look dashing in any colour. Except maybe pink. I don’t think that’d work well on you. Why does your hair looks so greasy? Snape: *raises an eyebrow* You try hanging over cauldrons in dank dungeons half your life and see how your hair turns out. And before you ask, yes, I wash it daily.
Quibbler: Hrm, maybe you should try some of that new shampoo Lockhart developed... I heard it’s quite amazing. Or maybe Lucius can give you some tips, his hair is amazing! *notices Snape’s expression* Er, right, on to the next question. We all know you’re mad about Lily. But have you ever fancied or liked any other girls? Or boys, whichever you prefer, some fan fictions about you areSnape: I do not fancy boys, thank you very much. Lily... Lily was special. There is not a woman in this world who can compare to her. Nevertheless, when she and Potter got together, I saw she was happy so I gave up on winning her over. I did have relationships, however, none of them lasted very long. Apparently I compared the women to Lily too much. Quibbler: Speaking of women, what do you think of all the witches who fancy you? The fangirls? Snape: They are quite annoying. I try to ignore them. Quibbler: Aww, you should give them a bit of attention some times - they like that. Trust me. You obviously know your way around the internet. Have you ever read fan fiction about yourself ? Snape: (Snape turned a bit green here, he seemed nauseous) I never went looking for fanfiction,
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but I did once happen upon something I would rather not have known about at all. It was... well, whoever thought that up should be locked up in a secure ward at St. Mungo’s. It was disgusting. Quibbler: There is fanfic out there which isn’t too bad, really. I think you were just very unlucky. Well, I think that’s all the questions I had for you! Snape: So I’m finally free to go? And you will not bother me with requests for interviews anymore? Quibbler: Well, you could stay if you want to... but if you really feel like you have to leave, then I suppose I don’t have much of a choice... We may ask you for interviews again in the future, though. Snape: Don’t you dare. Quibbler: Ooh, a challenge, I like that. Well, have a nice day, and thank you very much for the interview! You should be able to apparate out of here now, my colleagues should have lifted the charms by now. Snape left without another word, but we’re sure he enjoyed the interview and would be delighted to speak to us again in the future. We once again wish to thank Professor Snape for his time and wish him good luck in his future endeavors!
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Puzzles Last month, we had a word search for you all to solve. We promised to mention everyone who solved it, so here goes! Great job on getting it, all of you! -Riv -Aspy -HazelMagic -Draconis -Bex -LinaiAtcus The sentence that could be found was, of course, Very Happy Birthday to PFF and to Many More! This month we don’t have a word search for you, but OakNight, our newest addition to the Quibbler team , h as made you a Sudoku. and Nim has made you a crossword! Good luck with them, and let us know once you finish them so we can mention you in the next Quibbler! For those who aren’t sure about the Sudoku rules: The number 1 to 9 should be present once in each row, each column, and each of the squares of 9 numbers. If that doesn’t help you with the rules, it’s best to google it - there are many explanations on the internet ! Good luck!
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ACROSS
DOWN
1. Librarian 2. The one place to keep something 9. Need to breathe under water? 11. The Keeper of the Keys 12. School for Witchcraft and Wizardry 13. Pass me a broom!
1. Shield spell 3. _____ Section 4. He Who Must Not Be Named 5. Originally a bird 6. A beloved owl 7. Wouldn’t want a kiss from one of them! 8. Get out of my chat room! 10. Wizard prison
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Potter News BY POPPY_POMFREY Hi everyone, welcome to another exciting edition of Potternews! This month we have plenty of news to report, especially on the Olympics and the Casual Vacancy. So if you have any spare time, tune in to hear all the latest Harry Potter news! RUPERT GRINT RUNS WITH THE OLYMPIC TORCH
J. K. ROWLING AND VOLDEMORT IN THE OPENING CEREMONY
Rupert Grint ran with the Olympic Torch on day 68 of the torch relay, carrying the flame near Middlesex University. He was one of the 8000 torch bearers. He said he was happy he only had to run downhill, since he’s out of shape. As he ran down the hill, he had to avoid fans who wanted to touch him. After the run, Rupert’s #1 fan site caught up with him and told him that this year for his birthday, they will be getting money from his fans for a charity of his choice. After some debate, he chose Teenage Cancer Trust. Unfortunately, they didn’t reach their goal of $1000 by his birthday, but they did get $300 which will help the Teenage Cancer Trust.
In her first public appearance in a long time, J. K. Rowling read from Peter Pan in a segment of the Olympic opening ceremonies dedicated to children’s literature. Although she only read for around thirty seconds, it was enough for nearly ever y sing le Potterhead to scream from joy. While she read, a giant Voldemort rose up and caused havoc until Merry Poppins came and killed him. I personally thought tat was ridiculous, I mean Harry Potter took seven years to kill him and Merry Poppins just coms and kills him? Anyway, it was amazing that Harry Potter had a part in the opening ceremony.
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As he ran down the hill, Rupert had to avoid fans who wanted to touch him.
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RUPERT GRINT IN THE BEAT OF LONDON
Rupert Grint appeared on the Beat of London with Amy MacDonald and Ellison and Elizabeth from Team U.S.A. Ellison and Elizabeth mainly talked about their medals. Ellison said, “and sitting here with Rupert, it’s a dream come true.” She’s a huge fan of Rupert and had given him a nickname: Rupdog. “Rupdog” then talked about the amazing atmosphere in London. The talk then moved on to Quidditch, where Rupert watched a clip of real life Quidditch. Rupert then revealed information about his siblings, showing his sister’s music video. The dance off happened next, Allison and Rupert copying moves for the win. Both of them were horrible (no offense, Rupert!) although Rupert won by a large margin. Rupert came 15th out of 16th on the scoreboard and Ellison came last. The next Rupert bit was of him showing off his Didgeridoo skills. The show then finished with Rupert talking about his new film, Into the White. All in all it was a great show,
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and I highly recommend it to any Rupert fan.
HARRY POTTER TOPS NPR POLL
Recently, NPR held an online survey of the 100 best Young Adult novels of all time. NPR received over 1000 book nominations from 75000 readers, the biggest response it has ever gotten for a book survey. The results showed that the magic of ‘the Boy who Lived’ still lives on. That’s right, Harry Potter came in first, pushing the Hunger Games to the second place. It also beat classics like To Kill a Mockingbird, Lord of the Rings and Fahrenheit 451. Twihards won’t be happy with these results, Twilight came in a sloppy 27th place.
The results showed that the magic of ‘the Boy who Lived’ still lives on.
J. K. ROWLING TO PARTICIPATE IN A LIVE WEBCAST
Scholastic has announced a Harry Potter Reading Club which was made
SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO READ IN THE QUIBBLER? Every month, the Quibbler team does its best to bring you the most interesting news, articles and interviews they can think of. But, of course, you are the ones reading it. So we would like to know: What do you want to see in the next issue? Which articles do you want to read? What have you always wondered about? We want to improve and for that, we need your help. So, share your ideas! Let us hear your thoughts! Send your feedback to any of the Quibbler reporters, either by owl or Personal Message. We will take what you tell us to heart and try our best to adapt the Quibbler to your wishes. Don’t hesitate: let us know! Without you, there would be no Quibbler! The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
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for the enjoyment of the next generation of Harry Potter readers. Along with the club, came the most exciting news of J. K. Rowling doing her first webcast since 2007 to promote the club! On the 11th of October at 2 PM ET, she will be speaking live from her home in Edinburgh, Scotland. She will discuss many things, including Pottermore! The activities for this month will include a ‘make your own wand’ download, a search for Harry Potter objects, and a creative writing exercise. So make sure to tune in on October!
J. K. ROWLING TO APPEAR AT THE CHELTENHAM FILM FESTIVAL
On October 6th, 2012, J. K. Rowling will be at the Cheltenham Film Festival to promote her new book, The Casual Vacancy. Afterwards, she will be signing copies of the book. Tickets went out to members on the 13th of August, and to the public on the 20th. If you’re going, we’d love an article about your experience afterwards!
J. K. ROWLING PROMOTING HER NEW BOOK IN THE U.S.A.
All the American Potterheads must have been waiting for years for J. K. Rowling to come to America and have probably started to give up hope. Well, guess what? To promote her new book, for the first time ever, J. K. Rowling will be making a public appearance at New York’s Jazz at Lincoln Center on October the 16th! It will be in a venue with only 1111 seats, so get them fast! They will be sold for $37-$44, depending on how you buy the tickets. In her public appearance, she will be interviewed by another author and will sign copies of The Casual Vacancy! Now all the non-British and American fans have something to be jealous of !
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HARRY POTTER ALLIANCE; EQUALITY FTW
The Harry Potter Alliance (a Harry Potter charity organisation) have launched a new campaign, their biggest yet. The money raised is going to expand the fight for gay marriage, help their chapters get resources, etc. Their goal is $50 000. That’s not all, when you donate, you get to chose a perk that you will get when you donate. The catch is, for each perk you have to donate a specific amount. So far the released perks are: A history in tweets ($13) Best of Wizard Rock ($15) Hank Green Wrock Songs ($20) The Sequel by John Green ($25) HPA t-shirt and chocolate frogs ($40) Puppet Pals mention in a video ($45) Joe Moses Costume ($50) Evanna Lynch signed HP book ($150) SOLD OUT StarKid Signed Poster ($200) StarKid Original Doodle ($300) Evanna’s Phoenix Pendant ($700) So, if you can, choose any of these amazing perks and donate here: http:// www.indiegogo.com/equalityftw!
INTRODUCING CAMP 9 AND 3/4
Camp 9 and 3/4 is a non-profit camp for Harry Potter fans. Its purpose is to discuss, debate and look at the Harry Potter series in a new way. You have to be between the age of sixteen to ninety-six. The camp will be hosted in Marble Falls, Texas, from the 11th to the 15th of October, 2013. The programming consists of academic prog ramming (book discussions, creative workshops, etc.) fandom programming (wrock and quidditch) and last but not least, camp activities (rock climbing, archery, crafts, etc.). The cost is $350 which includes EVERYTHING.
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
THE QUIBBLER! J. K. ROWLING TO BE INTERVIEWED IN AUSTRALIAN TV SHOW
West Australian has announced that it will be interviewing J. K. Rowling for a special called J. K. Rowling: Life After Potter. The interview will be done by journalist Jennifer Byrne on September 27th 2012, the day that The Casual Vacancy is set
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to be released in Australia. This is the third country in which J. K. Rowling will make an appearance for the release of The Casual Vacancy (the others being the U. S. A. and England). During the interview, Jo will be talking about her Harry Potter success as well as the release of the Casual Vacancy.
Squargle Spy infiltrates PFF Chat BY PUMPKINPASTIES619 As many of you know, the Squargles are still on the loose. Only two weeks ago, there was another attack, right in our PFF Chat! We have two witnesses to the attack, who have informed me that one of our very own PFF members is a Squargle Spy... but who? We’ll find out in this article! The two witnesses were Mad Arrow and Halcyon. We have interviewed them in an attempt to get answers from them. Let’s start with Mad Arrow. Quibbler: We know the spy was a PFF member. Who do you think it was?
Mad Arrow: I’m pretty sure it was you, Pumpkin. Quibbler: Did the spy talk to you? If so, what did they say? Mad Arrow: Well, the spy said something about hacking into a moderator’s account. Then he tried to steal Halcyon’s Schrödinger-Ray thingy. Quibbler: Were you scared when it happened? Or did you think of it as a joke? Mad Arrow: Nah, I wasn’t scared. I was just annoyed and was waiting for the chat to shut down. Quibbler: Did the spy take anything? PFF information, objects, anything else? Mad Arrow: Not as far as I know, no. Quibbler: Do you think the spy will come back?
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
THE QUIBBLER! Mad Arrow: Gheh. Not after the treatment he got, if he’s smart. Quibbler: Do you have any other information on the spy? Mad Arrow’s answer was very, very lengthy, so we had to omit it. If you would like the Quibbler to send you the answer to this question, please owl PumpkinPasties619! Quibbler: Do you think the Ministry of Magic has anything to do with this? Mad Arrow: Possible... it was an Unspeakable after all. Quibbler: Anything else you would like to tell our readers? Any tips for them? Mad Arrow: Don’t trust anyone, especially Pumpkin! As you could read, the witness, Mad Arrow, believed it was me, your favourite Quibbler writer! That just goes to show how powerful this spy is, being able to trick someone into thinking it was an innocent child such as myself ! We have to be careful when in chat, or even when just logging in to PFF! Of course we also interviewed the other witness, Halcyon. Quibbler: We know the spy was a PFF member. Who do you think it was? Halcyon: Oh, I haven’t a clue. *looks pointedly at Pumpkin* Quibbler: Did the spy talk to you? If so, what did he or she say? Halcyon: He told us his plan to shut down the PFF mainframe in order to disrupt the First Birthday party. He also told us he was terrified of turkeys in hats and dislikes pink *looks pointedly at Pumpkin again* and he tried to pass himself off as an Auror, which of course we saw through instantly. Quibbler: Were you scared when the attack happened? Or did you think of it as a joke?
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Halcyon: Scared? Why would I be scared? I have Science on my side! *caresses her precious, the Schrödinger Harmonic Interference Ray* Quibbler: Did the spy take anything? PFF information, objects, anything else? Halcyon: He stole our wands, but we got them back. Not that I needed mine, because I had Science. My Schrödinger Harmonic Interference Ray disrupts quantum states, so it can counter pretty much anything. He tried to steal that too, but I put it down, so it was obvious how fast it was moving. And since the Schrödinger Harmonic Interference Ray is strictly governed by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, if you know how fast it’s moving (or isn’t moving), then you cannot also know where it is. It’s thievery-proof. Quibbler: Do you think the spy will come back? Halcyon: Well, Mad Arrow splinched him. So if he does, he’ll be after brains. Quibbler: Do you have any other information on the spy? Halcyon: He’s short, sounds kind of young maybe 11, or so? - and is deathly afraid of small boxes, pink, and turkeys in hats. Quibbler: Do you think the Ministry of Magic has anything to do with this? Halcyon: I avoid political entanglements at all costs. I claim no proof of anything (except, perhaps, the spy’s identity, which I may be willing to divulge - for a price). Quibbler: Anything else you would like to tell our readers? Any tips? Halcyon: Those squargles are nasty little buggers. They’re hard to kill, and they go after shiny things, so keep your friends close, and your death rays closer. *Cradles the Schrödinger Harmonic Interference Ray* As you can see, the problem is quite severe. The spy seems to have addled the brain of both of the poor witnesses!
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
THE QUIBBLER! I will warn you now, the Squargles could be anywhere. They could be behind you, next to you, in the next room, under your bed - ANYWHERE! So watch out! The Squirrels and Nargles have joined forces, and next you know they’ll have the Wrackspurts coming after us. So, just a recap from our previous articles on the Squargles. If the chat or site crashes, be wary. Even though the moderators may say the server is failing, that doesn’t always have to be the case. The Squargles could be coming for you! Please, don’t just go up to a squirrel in the park or on the street, even if they’re just playing cards or if they’re being very cute or adorable. They will not play nice. If you’re a Ministry employee, try to warn all your coworkers of this thread. Spread awareness!
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Of course, also try to make sure the Ministry of Magic isn’t a squirrel himself. And let us know about it, please. And ALWAYS remember these four easy ways to keep Squargles away from you: 1. Wear a Butterbeer Cork necklace 2. Eat a lot of ice cream 3. Wear radish earrings 4. Increase your cellulose content For more news, read the next Quibbler! Pumpkin will sneak into the Minister for Magic’s office, and we suspect he will find a horrible secret there. This is a must read! See you in October!
A look back on the PFF Birthday BY DIA Last month, PFF celebrated its very first birthday on August 9th! To celebrate this momentous anniversary, the PFF staff came up with many activities and contests for members to participate in. Included was a Shop Contest where members could win a shop or fireplace in Diagon Alley, by telling the staff why they felt they deserved to win. Winners were HazelMagic and MoonLight166. Rhynn had also set up an exciting treasure hunt. At the end were goodies: a button, avatar, wallpaper, and another chance at winning the shirt lottery. The aforementioned lottery gave the members a chance at winning one of three prizes- first prize: a shirt and a five-pack of Prefect badges; second prize: a $15 gift card to Diagon Alley, third prize: a five-pack of PFF Hogwarts badges.
The winners were as follows: KCMarauder won third prize, second prize going to Riv, and lastly, first prize to Aspy! Members were also treated to a sneak peek at House-themed forum styles to come, a staff appreciation topic to give thanks to all the staff, a Prefect-organized party topic including party favours, dancing, brownies, and butterbeer galore! To top it all off, Prefects treated us to a Find the Cake game, where finding the a cake under a square was awarded with another ticket for the shirt lottery. It’s safe to say our birthday celebration was a fun occasion! We thank everyone who celebrated our birthday with us. We hope to see you again next year for the second birthday!
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London
QUIBBLER!
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Credits Head editor: .Luna Lovegood Text editors: DawnPumpkin33, Rhynn Layout: Rhynn Typesetting: Rhynn Publishing: Rhynn Images: Rhynn Reporters: .Luna Lovegood., PumpkinPasties619, Rhynn, x A p p l e C h a i x , KC M a r a u d e r, DawnPumpkin33, EmmyK, poppy_pomfrey, Dia, OakNight, LilyLovegood27 Seers: K ar ma Crude, Mandy Wunkpip Ads: Rhynn; Butterbeer & Firewhiskey ads by SailorSlytherin Images which have not been made by Rhynn and which were not separately credited here, were found on Google. As such, we do not know who made them and thus, who should get credit for them. If you recognize an image as belonging to you, please contact any Quibbler reporter and we will give you your due credit in the next issue. Want to advertise your Diagon Alley shop in the Quibbler? Check the Diagon Alley section of the forum or contact Rhynn. Have an article or image for the Quibbler? Send it to any Quibbler reporter and it might get published in the next issue! Want to become a reporter? Send an application to DawnPumpkin33. Want to say thanks, correct us, or contact us for any other reason? Send an owl or PM to any Quibbler reporter.
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Next month in the Quibbler: - A REPORT ON THE HOUSE CUP - THE LOST TRAVELS WITH TROLLS (AND JACK) - MORE BLAST FROM THE PAST - A NEW HOROSCOPE BY OUR RESIDENT SEERS - A NEW SPELL ANALYSIS FROM OAKNIGHT
AND MORE! Don’t miss the next issue! It will be available on PFF October 1st. If you have anything to send in, make sure we have it before the 25th of the month - preferably the 20th. Don’t be shy - we love to see your contributions! Ideas on new sections are, of course, welcome as well. Don’t forget to contribute to next months’ KC’s Korner! The new Caption Contest image will be available soon after this issue has been published, so check it out and send in your caption!
THANKS FOR READING AND
SEE YOU IN OCTOBER!
The Quibbler, Ministry of Magic, Level 3 1/8, Quibbler Office, London