Creaturae 2022 by St. Andrew's Episcopal School

Creaturae Writing and Art Magazine 2022

Letter from the Editors Dear Readers, This year has seen the return to a new normal. In-person school at full capacity, optional mask-wearing, sporting events, and school dances have reminded us of what life at St. Andrew’s used to be like. The traditions and rituals that deﬁne our school have resumed, and with them some of the spirit and pride that the pandemic stripped away. As editors, above all, we are so proud of the art and writing that St. Andrew’s students produced this school year. Moreover, we are endlessly grateful for the community that supports and encourages St. Andrew’s artists, writers, and creatives. We hope you ﬁnd as much joy in reading these pages as we did in compiling them! Sincerely, Creaturae Editors

Table of Contents Front cover: “Egyptian Ratscrew” by Katie Skinner Page 1: “Nature is Listening” by Claire Gerber with “The Lone Tree” by Sasha James Page 2: “Bandages” by Charlie Fernau with Slow Motion” by Leila Edu Page 3: “Abandoned Churches” by Rebecca Piercey with “Mother Nature is a Climate Refugee” by Sasha James Page 4: “Burnt Leaves” by Audrey Quint with “Fading” by Wenxi Zhu Page 5: “Ezekiel to Esther” by Rebecca Piercey with “View over Delphi” by Katie Skinner Page 6:“Untitled” by Anwen Kelleher with “Beyond the Paintbrushes” by Rose Curie Page 7: “Reply to Sonnet 144” by Simeon Sannieniola with “Betta Drapeado” by Andrew Saavedra Page 8: “Seven Days of Snow” by Harrison Kehler with “Alone” by Wenxi Zhu Page 9: “new year’s night” by Rebecca Piercey with “Glowing Oranges” by Rosie Curie Page 10: “Ennui” by Taylor Giﬀord with “Ruminations” by Hannah Newman Page 11: “Car” by Charlie Fernau with “Freedom in the Maze” by Gabriela Henderson Page 12: “I Am Britney Spears” by Halyn Schoenfeld with “Generation” by Katie Skinner Page 13: “persimmon” by Anwen Kelleher with “Orange You Glad?” by Rose Curie Page 14: “A Rose by Any Other Name” by Rose Currie with “Wish for you to be happy and healthy” by Pamela Kim

Table of Contents Page 15: “Untitled” by Melissa Nugent with “Progression Onwards” by Katie Skinner Page 16: “Reply to Sonnet 87” by Conor Roberton with “Loop and Loop” by Wenxi Zhu Page 17: Excerpt from “The Hidden Voice of Leper Lepellier” by Gabe Amha ‘25 with “Landing” by Katie Skinner Page 18: “Born to Decay” by Audrey Quint with “Make Sure You Wash Your Hands During These Trying Times” by Katie Skinner Page 19: Excerpt from “Hometown, my belonging” by John Zhang with “The Long and Winding Road” by Sasha James Page 20: Excerpt from “Goodbye” by Savannah Graf-Suleman with “Not Quite a Sunset” by Gabriela Henderson Page 21: “The Garden (Love Grows)” by Anwen Kelleher with “Gabriela- An Introspective Look)” by Gabriela Henderson Page 22: “Pride” by Charlie Fernau with “Untitled” by Lia Walton Page 23: Excerpt from “Ophelia’s Detainment” by Charlie Fernau with “And He Was Touched By The Hand Of Time And Made Holy” by Katie Skinner Page 24: “Joni Mitchell Eyes” by Anwen Kelleher with “Palm Beach Paradise” by Rosie Curie Page 25: “Fools Fighting” by Charlie Fernau with “Old Memories” by Wenxi Zhu Page 26: “Happy” by Hannah Newman with “Cat’s Reﬂection” by Wenxi Zhu Page 27: “Nothing but You” by Charlie Fernau with “The Girl With Peace Earring” by Gabriela Henderson Back cover: “Egyptian Ratscrew” by Katie Skinner

I am not proud of how I have treated human beings Like band-aids for paper cuts I call past infatuations How I thought of them in my mind as a cure for some illness Brought on by the intensity of my own passions I rip oﬀ my bandages, even though it hurts, Before they have the chance to fall away. And just like I treat a bandage, I dig my nails into it I tug at the thing that’s supposed to help me heal Maybe because I don’t believe I deserve to get better Or maybe just because I want a reason to be worse “Bandages” by Charlie Fernau ‘22

Artwork by Leila Edu, ‘24 “Slow Motion” 2

Spring is turning into Summer the days are getting Warmer I can feel life ﬂow through My stem my sun brings love again!

An Excerpt from “Burnt Leaves” by Audrey Quint ‘22

Something has changed Their love felt like a warm embrace Why am I now feeling smothered I wanted more of their love But this is too much We talk for hours that feel like days The oxygen from my leaves Bursts from my surface I cherish their gift of light Every day I can’t escape Even at night they linger Their touch scorching the land During the day the ﬁre That consumed my core Explodes across the sky

Artwork by Wenxi Zhu ‘22 “Fading”

Ezekiel to Esther Rebecca Piercy View Over Delphi Katie Skinner

Irises that can only hold pain Repentant and prayerful The words of the dead Have meanings and angels

Ezekiel to Esther The sins of dead Ancestors carved into your bones etched into your eyes

Hands clasped together Looking up to heaven Spinning out words Lost in adoration

Symbols and swirls Drawn onto your skin Holding up a Bible Grasped in holy reverence

If you run fast enough Maybe you can escape your past If you pray for long enough Maybe you’ll be forgiven

How can one have two loves and function well Love is not duality and should not be bad But still you pain me and cast me to hell The reoccurring impact of your disregard makes me sad And however I continue to love with trust No matter the count or the brainless disgust Your love stings like that of a honeybee Still I pursue you until my heart bust Trust is blind and words the deaf can hear For I live in doubt and bathe in fear The fearfulness of your wrath still shocks And the key to my heart your love will lock Till my days decrease and are numbered Oh for your love, I will make any silly blunder

“Reply to Sonnet 144” by Simeon Sannieniola ‘23

Artwork by Andrew Saavedra ‘24 “Betta Drapeado”

7 Days of Snow by Harrison Kehler Alone by Wenxi Zhu January. The first month of the year is defined by attempts at resolutions and freezing temperatures. We transition from the holidays and festivities from last December. Overall, we feel a winter burn---a symptom among students caused from returning to school after two weeks have passed without school to observe holidays and have a break from homework. Despite the break, this phenomenon happens in early winter---about two weeks into the season defined by snow and cold. A sign that the break is over comes the day after New Year’s Day. Depending on the day of the week, the ideal student might go back to school as early as January 2 or as late as January 7. Regardless of the day of the week, students feel time has passed too quickly and wish they had more time. A resolution to this is to extend that break with the power of student collaboration. The name of this student-lead holiday would be deemed Seven Days of Snow. This new holiday would occur a week starting from the Monday before, on, or after New Year’s Day and last until that Sunday. If snow is present, students gather wherever they want except school and celebrate their snow days filled with sledding, snowman building, and more. If no snow is present, students have the option to do whatever they want to spend their third week of winter break. In the case of a blizzard, students are to remain home until it is safe to head outside to embrace their snow fun. By extending the break to 3 weeks, students should feel well prepared to return back to school to properly learn and not lose focus on concentration. If only faculty felt the same. 8

The gravel was rough My flip flops were a little too tight Music was loud I was walking with spite Screamin my lungs out Singing like this was the last time Into the darkness No sight from behind Down the winding road I stumbled and fell Until i turned off my flashlight And was alone in the night Two days before Halfway through the field My brother found bones From a dead deer He pointed them out to me And i thought about keeping them Then realized that it wasnt for the best Because people who like death Arent the type who should be around it We have a tendency to forget that living has just as much value It’s easier to wrap our fingers into strings of misery and longing Safe in the melancholy Then stare directly into the sun Look at the moon And say someday thats where im gonna go

“New Year’s Night” by Rebecca Piercey ‘24 Artwork by Rose Currie ‘24 “Glowing Oranges”

“Car” by Charlie Fernau Do you think If I ﬁlled this whole car with cigarette smoke It would swallow the swell of music from the stereo Choke out the murmur in my heart Start to burn that little aching feeling Or would I just cough and let it out? It’s hard to tell what would happen When you’re too afraid to try Too anxious to lay back, still Rest your eyes on the manila roof Seat fully reclined, boots on the dash For a short-lived, relaxed moment Before remembering your mom making dinner Waiting for you to open the door For the same thing every day— That you say, “I’m home”

“Freedom in the Maze” by Gabriela Henderson

“Untitled” by Melissa Nugent ‘25 Artwork by Katie Skinner ’22, “Progression Onwards” The sun is fun. The land is dandy. The creatures are…less than ideal. Frankie died a few weeks ago now, I would say I miss him but those bastards changed him. Made him…violent, bloodthirsty. I miss the old Frankie, my little brother Frankie, chipped tooth Frankie, scared of the dark Frankie. Not the Frankie that Pa killed with his double barrel behind the wagon on that humid night. I could hear him crying. He didn’t speak for days after that. No one wants to bury their son, especially in that condition. But he had to move on quickly after he was in the ground, for the swarms of ravaged families and parties descended on us like vultures to a cow’s carcass. But now Pa says we’re only 3 more months from California; all we have to do is survive. Just three more months until safety, “the land of gold” as Frankie used to call it. By “gold,” he was of course talking about safe land, healthy people, water. But you know that. 15

“Reply to Sonnet 87” by Conor Roberton ‘23 Artwork by Wenxi Zhu ‘22 “Loop and Loop” ‘Twas not you, you did no such wrong; ‘Twas me. You hath no such reason for it, ask anyone. I had to ﬁnd myself, so I let you free. It is for the best, that we shall be done.

I plead you understand where I come from. I felt what I felt, and that must be that. Don’t put this on yourself, you are no bum. Go live your life in full, don’t become ﬂat.

You deserve the best, I mean that truly. The best for thou was not me, don’t thou see? Thou love was there; mine lacked signiﬁcantly. I had to let go, you had to let me be.

Sleep as a king, as I shall sleep as a queen. We will both ﬁnd love, you see what I mean?

An Excerpt from “The Hidden Voice of Leper Lepellier” by Gabe Amha ‘25 Artwork by Katie Skinner ‘22, “Landing”

I remember when Finny saw me, that day after chapel, still armed with his last shreds of innocence which had been so violently ripped from me. As I looked at him, his face turned into many other recognizable faces from my past: Gene’s, my mom’s, Brinker’s, the colonel’s, so many faces I remembered. I saw the way he looked at me when he spotted me hiding, looked at me like I was a completely diﬀerent person, which I now am. Looked at me the way someone would look at a section-eight discharge, someone psycho. Is this really what I’ve become? Have I become someone who will be shunned from society for the rest of my life? Am I going to be someone who is looked down upon? Will I be someone who everyone pities, but no one wants to help? Whatever the outcome of my life is, one thing is clear: the war changed my life for good. 17

“Born to Decay” by Audrey Quint In the moonlit forest a young girl rests her black dress tattered and torn the rose she holds in pristine condition the dry leaves swirling around her A gentle breeze picks up young moths slowly ﬂutter by landing on her sleeves before eating away at the thin fabric until only scraps are left Two crows appear gutterly cawing out of the darkness they swoop perching on her face before skewering her eyes on their beaks plucking them out of the sockets before returning to the night

The frogs ﬂee when the snakes slowly slither to her damp body surveying each limb and appendage before unhinging their jaws to envelope every extremity the rose falls to her chest

The sun at long last sets and beings of darkness rise the wolves decide it’s time for prey to be found luckily the dinner is defenseless

The snakes took all day to ﬁnish devouring each arm leg ﬁnger and toe her cold torso and head rotting away even more under the relentless heat of the dead of summer The forest is exhausted from feasting on the vitality of others the trees can only provide so much shade as they need energy too

Storm clouds roll in bringing rain pounding against the forest lighting snapping against the sky thunder rumbling against the trees worms squirm along her soggy body resting in open sores and eye sockets squelching their way across her skin The rain slows as the sun rises a thick mist blanketing the ground covering her with dewdrops along her crusted eyelashes and knotted hair Pools of water surround her attracting mosquitoes and frogs harmonizing their buzzes and croaks as the mosquitoes lay eggs and the frogs eat leftover bugs

“Make Sure to Wash Your Hands in These Trying Times” by Katie Skinner

“The Garden (Love Grows)” by Anwen Kelleher sing along like it’s an autobiography, don’t you dream of spreading happiness? love scattered behind you like candy, objectiﬁcation, the third person, your value in sweetness left on the tongues of others. grow fruit to give it away, pick some herbs for soup. parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. oranges have too much sugar, not enough ﬁber for a keto diet. fun facts, right? do it. throw the citrus at his face. let lilacs grow from the dead ground under your feet, let cruel words slip out like morning glories. let them linger. still, do not drown here in their poison; do a tarot pull, do your missing work. there is so much use left in you!

“Gabriela- An Introspective Look” by Gabriela Henderson 21

“Pride” by Charlie Fernau What exactly does pride mean? Is it when you feel good about someone else Are you trying to take the satisfaction From their accomplishments And use it on yourself? How exactly do you show it? Is it when you want to lift someone else up Do you really think there’s a way to measure The eﬀect that mere words can hold On someone else coming from you? When exactly is it supposed to manifest? Is it when your standards are low Will you still be proud of me when I start out okay and you don’t know How far I’ve come? Who is allowed to have it? Is it when you ﬁrst learn their story Can you really know how much someone Tried to get better when You’re hearing the story from them?

“Untitled” by Lia Walton 22

I’ll be my own Ophelia Pretend to be wanted And drip lilies and violets into my tomb I’ll dress up like something beautiful And soak it in my misery Stain the porcelain deep red and black And purify myself of darkness Be the soft and delicate thing I should be Rather than the sparkling, crumbling Unstable mess that I am. Temper the steel of my blade in bathwater And sheath it until it’s time To sabotage myself again. This wet dress will stick to my skin My floral flowing lovely straightjacket For my mythical asylum But for now I’ll rot Prostrate to the God that made me hate myself Looking up into the light Wondering if I’ll ever gaze forwards Instead of down At my own fire Excerpt from “Ophelia’s Detainment” by Charlie Fernau ‘22 Artwork by Katie Skinner ’22 “And He Was Touched By The Hand Of Time And Made Holy” 23

I miss the way you were last week, when i loved messy hair glimpsed through the door of a classroom with the windows open, and an imaginary breeze making its way east. I miss the way you were when the sun set at eight. The scent of geraniums, how it carried on the wind, an in-between scent for an in-between time. The lavender growing in its garden with the peonies and the bitter dandelion greens and the envy, sweet on my tongue. I miss the way you were when this would have been a love poem; i miss when I could look at your Joni Mitchell eyes and feel more than just bitter, Heart screaming “all hail the queen of nothing” Of stopped hearts and red tablecloths and dirt.

“joni mitchell eyes” by Anwen Kelleher ‘24 Artwork by Rose Currie ‘24, “Palm Beach Paradise” 24

“Fools Fighting” by Charlie Fernau I dug our garden big enough To ﬁt your heart and mine I planted you there to grow for me Gave you all my love and more The fumes of what I have to share Dirt in my cuticles

Calluses on my palms “Lost Memories” by Wenxi Zhu Spades dented and shining Waiting for you to grow into my arms And the fruit you have to bear Reads “not enough” “Not enough”, “not enough”, “not enough” Rasping and curling from your aloe teeth Words twisting like mirrored smoke I choke out your last words And the dew that drips from your leafen hands Stains my green thumbs red. 25

“Happy” by Hannah Newman ‘22 Artwork by Wenxi Zhu ‘22, “Cat’s Reflection” On her desk, there was a small box of mints. From Kate to the Thurstons. Happy holidays! There was a bowl with rubber bands and paper clips and erasers and one eraser in the shape of a rose. There were two diplomas on her wall: one from the University of Michigan and the other from the University of Maryland. Behind the mints sat a card, politely propped up to display a cartoon of a drooping flower and the word “happy.” The irony almost made me laugh. How am I supposed to be happy if even the cartoon flower is wilting? You don’t have to water a cartoon. Drawings don’t need constant love and attention to feel okay about themselves. I looked back at the mints and considered taking one. They looked pretty tasty. I had an odd urge to take something, to hold something. Maybe I was just drawing out the time spent analyzing my surroundings in an attempt at self-soothing. I grabbed the rose-shaped eraser instead. I turned it around and around and around in my hand, tracing it from my fingertips to my thumb to my palm and back again to my thumb and to my fingertips. Circling and circling, I focused on the rhythm, on the sensation of my fingers and thumb touching the soft rubber, squeezing it into my palm. But my eyes kept drifting back to the card with the flower. Happy. 26

He told me he could hold me all day With slats of light ripping down from the window He said let me be your escape You’re the girl I always dreamt of He said I’ll always be thankful you taught me to love You’re the kindest girl I know and the distance is tough He said you’re gonna have your hands full when we meet up Just let me hold you, close when it’s rough He said if you read then read the words to me So I can listen to nothing but you He said your hair looks soft in pictures Someday I’ll wake up feeling soft next to you He said be patient love I’ll be there soon He said I want to live with Nothin but you

Nothing but You Charlie Fernau Girl with Peace Earring Gabriela Henderson 27