Question mark march 2016 by RickBaber

Foreword

? Magazine March, 2016 ď&#x20AC;

? Question Mark Magazine Vol. 2 No. 3, March, 2016 Published by TigerEye Publications P.O. Box 6382 Springdale, AR 72766 E: cybermouth@hotmail.com Copyright 2016, Rick Baber Question Mark (?) Magazine is electronically published monthly, free to online subscribers, by TigerEye Publications, through ISSUU.com

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March 2016 * Volume 2 * Issue 3

CONTENTS Why a political issue? Destiny. Gotta be Destiny.

Page 1 You think everything going on politically is just happenstance? Bret will straighten you out.

Page 9

Nancy Reagan was a Class Act. Camille Nesler

Zach’s got a “Berning” sensation down in his soul. He tells you why.

Page 18

What if you were a little girl, living between politicallyopposite parents? Angelia was.

Page 13 Here’s why Hillary Clinton is the better choice for Democrats.

Page 22

? Magazine March, 2016  YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO GET

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March 2016 * Volume 2 * Issue 3

CONTENTS

Rhonda Crone experiences the laying on of the hands.

PAGE 25 Are you mad at us yet, Storm Trumpers?

Page 34

Nothing political here … or IS there? Starra, on life.

ABOUT OUR COVER

Page 28

Ready for Confession? Pope Mark needs to know why you support Donald Trump. It’s multiple choice!

Page 31

Electrolytes! It’s the only way we can explain it! Not that we’re saying America has finally achieved total “Idiocracy,” you understand. But we’re close. Very close!

? Magazine March, 2016  YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO GET

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? Bret Burquest

Boldly Going Nowhere Albert Pike was born in Boston on December 29, 1809. He studied at Harvard and was considered a genius, able to read and write in 16 different languages. At various stages of his life he was a frontiersman, journalist, poet, philosopher, crusader for Native Americans, prominent Washington lawyer and a Civil War general. In 1831, Pike moved to Independence, Missouri, where he joined an expedition to Taos, New Mexico. His horse broke down and Pike was forced to walk the remaining 500 miles. In 1833, he settled in Arkansas where he purchased and published a newspaper.

, requiring long-term planning and patience. The trick is to manipulate the world into a desire to be conquered, to be controlled by a single entity. It's simply a matter of causing problems of a global nature that require a global solution, then being in a position of "solving" the problems you created in the first place. A statue of a Confederate general, Albert Pike (1809-1891), stands on a pedestal at the foot of Capitol Hill, near the Department of Labor building, the only statue of a Confederate general on federal property in Washington, D.C. Pike was honored, not as a commander, but as a leader of the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry. He was one of the most predominant figures in the history of world Freemasonry.

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He studied law and passed the bar in 1837. He became the first reporter for the Arkansas Supreme Court and wrote a book titled THE ARKANSAS FORM BOOK, a guidebook for lawyers. During the Mexican-American War, Pike joined the cavalry and was commissioned as a troop commander. He later got into a duel with his own commander over differences of opinion. Although several shots were fired, no one was injured and the two combatants were persuaded by their seconds to call it quits. After the war, Pike settled in New Orleans in 1853 where he practiced law and wrote a book about Roman and French law. In 1857, he returned to Arkansas and made several contacts with Native American tribes in the area. On their behalf, he negotiated an $800,000 settlement between several tribes and the federal government.

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? When the Civil War started, Pike was appointed as Confederate envoy to the Native Americans and negotiated several more treaties. In November of 1861, Pike was commissioned as a brigadier general and given a command in the Indian Territory where he trained three Confederate regiments. Once again, Pike butted heads with his military superiors, this time resulting in an order for his arrest for insubordination. Rather than face military discipline, Pike turned in his resignation in absentia and escaped into the Arkansas hills. After the Civil War, Pike relocated to New York and later to Canada. In 1865, President Andrew Jackson, a fellow Freemason, gave Pike a formal pardon for his military misdeeds, which were found to be lacking in evidence. Free to practice law once again, Pike became an associate justice of the Arkansas Supreme Court.

been brought to Greece from Egypt by Pythagoras in the fifth century. This Secret Cult of Satan was introduced into the inner circle of the Masonic lodges. On May 1, 1776 (the original May Day), a Bavarian anarchist named Adam Weishaupt formed a secret society known as the Illuminati (the "enlightened ones"). Its ultimate goal was the formation of a oneworld government that would be covertly controlled by the secret society. In 1834, Giusseppe Mazzini, an Italian who later founded the Mafia in 1860, was selected by the Illuminati to head worldwide operations. Mazzini was a 33rd degree Mason who believed in the unification of Europe, and ultimately in a unification of the entire planet under one ruling order.

In 1867, he practiced law in Memphis, Tennessee, where he also served as editor of the newspaper, Memphis Appeal. He finally moved his law office to Washington, D.C. in 1870 and became editor of the Patriot newspaper. As a 33rd degree Mason, Pike was a founding father and leader of the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry in the United States. From 1859 until his death, he was Grand Commander of North American Freemasonry.

Of the tome, Mazzini wrote, "Through this supreme rite, we will govern all Freemasonry which will become one international center, the more powerful because its direction will be unknown." Between 1859 and 1871, Pike created a military blueprint for three world wars and certain global revolutions he considered to be favorable toward creating a one-world government in its final stage in the 20th Century As Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry, Albert Pike wrote a letter to Mazzini in 1871, outlining the three World Wars that would lead to global domination of their Secret Cult. These wars were to be created by Illuminati operatives, as well as funded by Illuminati interests who would reap great rewards from the conflict.

Palladism had 10

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March, 2016 ď&#x20AC;

? The first World War was to be a conflict between the Germanic empires and the British Empire. The primary objective of this conflict was to overthrow the Czars of Russia. The second World War was designed to lead to the creation of a sovereign state (Israel) in Palestine. The primary objective for creating a homeland for Zionists (Jewish immigrants to the Promised Land) in the Middle East was to eventually trigger a global war within the Islamic world, the third World War, that would lead to the ultimate goal of control of the entire planet. The first two World Wars instigated by the Illuminati have been carried out as planned. The third World War is on the horizon. The following was written by Pike in the 1871 letter to Mazzini concerning plans for World War III.

Illuminati would be in a strategic position to control this world government, secretly behind the scenes.

There is a cabal of secret societies on this planet that have been manipulating human events for a very long time in order to lead to a one-world government, to be controlled by them. This includes upper tiers of Freemasonry, the Illuminati, the Bilderberg Group, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, the Round Table, Skull and Bones, Knights of Malta, the Rosicrucian Order, and so forth. They presently control politics, finance, commerce and the media. Their ultimate goal is to control the world. Those at the very top who control the Secret Cults have a common genetic bloodline that can be traced back to Sumer and Babylon. Their agenda includes establishing their bloodline into key posts of economic and political power. Throughout history, members of this chosen bloodline have been thrust into high positions of power, including royalty, clergy, politics, finance, etc.

Presumably, at this point, the world would be so devastated by conflict that it would welcome a strong, omnipotent world government, controlling all aspects of life. By then, the upper echelon of the

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"There exists in our world today a powerful and dangerous secret cult. This cult is patronized and protected by the highest level of government officials in the world. Its membership is composed of those in the power centers of government, industry, commerce, finance, and labor. It manipulates individuals in areas of important public influence â&#x20AC;&#x201C; including the academic world and the mass media. The Secret Cult is a global fraternity of a political aristocracy whose purpose is to further the political policies of persons unknown." - from THE CIA AND THE CULT OF INTELLIGENCE by Victor Marchetti, former CIA operative.

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? The Secret Cults started with the Mystery Schools of ancient Babylon, perhaps even long before that, and are still with us today. The thirst for power and greed never ends. 

Secrecy is necessary to cover up their corruption.

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Misinformation is necessary to manipulate the masses.

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Conflict is necessary to create fear.

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War is necessary to justify the need for strong centralized rule.

There is no freedom in this world. We are being manipulated and enslaved by powerful elitists who meet secretly to make decisions that affect our personal lives and the fate of Planet Earth. The first step toward preventing enslavement is to recognize it is taking place. ___________

Their plan revolves around central banks of the world, acting in concert, driven by secret agreements contrived among select-elite private individuals. Stepping stones to this objective already exist with the formation of the Federal Reserve System, International Monetary Fund, World Bank, and so forth. After Mazzini's death in 1872, Pike appointed an Italian banker and 33rd degree Mason named Adriano Lemmi (1822-1896), to succeed Mazzini and run the Secret Cult operations in Europe. Subsequently, Lemmi was succeeded by Lenin and Trotsky, then by Stalin. The nefarious activities of all these men were financed by British, German, French, and American international bankers, all dominated by Rothschild banking interests. 12

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Bret Burquest is the author of 11 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a few dogs and where life is what happens when you can't sleep. March, 2016 

Living bad, they took pleasure in letting him know how much better times would be under Republican control. I was like a sponge and absorbed arguments from both sides. Dwight D. Eisenhower was president when they married, followed by a John F. Kennedy. (If I was a betting person my young mother might have voted Democrat that year, because, well, he was hot!) And I listened to their rhetoric through the Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, and Reagan years. By the time I was 18 and election year rolled around my boss decided I had to register. It was the same boss who handed me a little white pill every morning so I could waitress my skinny ass around those tables. The irony does not escape me that my boss, who was running for sheriff, kept me supplied with illegal drugs. And, I’ve been voting ever since.

Swinging both ways Angelia Roberts

My parents will soon celebrate 61 years of marriage and that many years of cancelling each other’s vote. I think that speaks highly of marriage. It also means their only daughter swings both ways on election year when it comes time for X to mark the spot.

For years, my mother’s side of the family was literally out of the running because it took an act of God to get someone with an R elected, but it didn’t keep them from casting their votes for the conservative party. Political discussions were not just regulated to election year. If times were good my dad would lord it over my mom and her family about how important it was to be a Democrat. If times were

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The only thing consistent with my voting record was the fact I was dedicated to showing up for every election ranging from school board to president. And boy how things have changed.

We’ve become a divided nation, intolerant of each other and we can’t seem to find our way to a common ground where we can cuss, discuss and agree to disagree. Being raised with two different viewpoints gave me the opportunity to listen as they debated, teased and took credit and gave blame. But in the end, those two people managed to coexist together. They’ve been doing that for 60 years. We could all learn a lot from them. It’s OK to disagree. It’s Ok to have different points of view. But at the end of the day the thing that is most important is that we have each other. And, it doesn’t matter if we are black, white, believers or non-believers, straight or gay. What’ matters is that we are all Americans. Even after all these years I’m still like a child trying to please both parents. So, I’m still gonna swing both ways.

March, 2016 

Editorial

rank the women on categories such as, being the White House steward, accomplishments, integrity, leadership, public image, and value to the president. Seriously. Again, Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton? WHAT?!? Some more specific questions in this poll included, “who best managed their family life during their time in the White House” and “Who could have accomplished more during their stint in the White House.”

ncy Reagan was a Class Act By Camille Nesler

On Sunday March 6, 2016 the world lost one of the classiest women to ever grace the White House in my opinion: Nancy Reagan. I’ve had a few other favorite First Ladies, Jackie Kennedy and Eleanor Roosevelt just to name a few. But Nancy Reagan is my all-time favorite, largely due to the fact that I actually lived through her reign, and didn’t just read about her attributes in the history books. Recently a new poll from Siena College came out, ranking the nation’s top first ladies. And for the fifth time in a row, Eleanor Roosevelt claimed the top spot. But what amazed the heck out of me, was the fact that Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton were ranked 5th and 6th. Are you KIDDING me? The poll was conducted in conjunction with CSPAN as part of the network’s series “First Ladies: Influence and Image.” Respondents were asked to

What I’d like to know is the ages of the women who participated in this poll. I mean come on, in a day and age where idiots like Beyonce and Kim Kardashian are hailed as “strong” women, I’m curious just what attributes and characteristics those taking the poll are using as their guidelines. After all, these days our young girls are looking at role models like Miley Cyrus and the morons on “Teen Mom.” So who, exactly, are today’s WOMEN looking to? There is one thing about Nancy Reagan that you can’t say about a whole lot of women in politics these days. She had CLASS. She was truly and 100% in love with her husband and she stood by his side until the very end. Their love story started in Hollywood, and withstood not only that glitz and glamour, but also the rigors of the White House. Their marriage didn’t fail as so many celebrity marriages do. They first met on November 15, 1949 when Nancy was a young actress and Reagan, newly divorced due to his first wife’s affair, was president of the Screen Actors Guild. After their first date they were

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Editorial already planning their second date and not long after that they were completely inseparable. They were married on March 4, 1952. Even during the presidency, these two were known to frequently show affection. According to one press secretary, “They never took each other for granted. They never stopped courting.” After her husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 1998, Nancy Reagan told Vanity Fair in an interview, “When I say my life began with Ronnie, well, it’s true. It did. I can’t imagine life without him.” Now, let’s compare THAT to Hilary Clinton’s statement in the 1992 presidential campaign, “Look…I’m not some Tammy Wynette standing by my man baking cookies here!” Yeah….way to be classy. Or what about the 2013 Inauguration luncheon in which Michelle Obama rudely rolled her eyes at Speaker of the House John Boehner, her husband’s Republican “opposition”? Is that the way a first lady should behave?

husband to run the country to care what the feminist crowd thought. And hey….maybe those feminist chicks should take a page from her book. She loved and supported her husband, and as a result, we sure didn’t see HER trying to hide his numerous affairs over the years because *gasp* there WEREN’T any. Ronald Reagan’s death on June 5, 2004, ended what actor Charlton Heston called, “the greatest love affair in the history of the American presidency.” And he was right. I highly doubt we will ever see that type of mutual respect, love, support and unity in the White House again. And that should make us sad. It should make us question just what we are settling for. Next time CSPAN and Sienna College decide to conduct a poll on the “greatest” first ladies of all time, I certainly hope they find some people with a little more intelligence to pose their questions to. With THESE results? I’m thinking they polled the same 100 people that Family Feud has been using for years.

Yeah, you definitely had a handle on things, Nancy Reagan. Nobody can claim YOU rolled your eyes at any official or dignitary, or spoke rudely or out of turn, or ran your mouth at the wrong times. Nancy was known to be an excellent hostess who planned every dinner and event way in advance, even down to the music selections. She was the first to arrive and the last to leave. As first lady she worked with a large number of charities and spent a great deal of time visiting veterans, the elderly, the disabled and the handicapped. And who can forget her “just say no” campaign? When asked by a school girl what to do when offered drugs, Nancy told her, “Just say no.” This became her primary project and focused on education and informing kids of the dangers of drug abuse. She also encouraged youth not to give in to peer pressure and she didn’t succumb to it herself. Nancy Reagan never felt the urge to perform for the public. She didn’t care if people viewed her as “too conservative” or “too much of a 1950’s type traditional wife.” She was too busy helping her 16

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Editorial

A New Deal For America (defining the current reality)

Go to any American street and ask the first ten people you meet if they believe their government truly represents the people. Blind, unbiased polling indicates that eight of ten will answer with a resounding “NO”. They believe their standard of living has been in steady decline for decades and that the American dream is now just an empty promise. They have good reason to feel this way. They live in a country where agreements like the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) have taken their good paychecks overseas. They live in a country where it takes two or three jobs in the average household just to make ends meet. They worry that any unforeseen calamity, such as a personal health crisis, a job layoff, or just a random string of small unfortunate events would instantly throw them and their families into financial ruin. These people have no faith in their government. They feel that they have been pitted against each other for an ever shrinking portion of a slowly rotting pie. The shining city on the hill which they were promised all those years ago exists for someone else but no for them. The few people who do live in that shining city on the hill (one per cent of the population) hold all the power. They use that

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power (money) to fund the campaigns of those who will do their bidding in government. The trickle coming down that hill is foul and yellow and the pendulum has swung as far as it can possibly swing. This is the year of the anti-establishment candidate. Whether you are a Republican, a Democrat, or an Independent, you’ve lost faith in the status quo. Why else would the likes of Donald Trump, a reality TV star, or Bernie Sanders - a self-proclaimed Democratic Socialist, even be in the conversation?

Upon leaving office, most of these individuals will go on to work as lobbyists for these special interests, with no regard whatsoever for the constituents who have made them rich by electing them in the first place. It is a system fucked up beyond all repair and needs to be completely dismantled. Enter campaign finance reform—the only real way to affect change in any measure. Before we go on to discuss the merits of this year’s crop of candidates, let’s have a frank discussion about the ghosts of candidates past. I grew up in Arkansas and was nearly giddy in my support for Bill Clinton all those years ago. Now I see a different “Bill” as I am not so blinded by my own southern pride.

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Editorial Though I do not subscribe to the outlandish notions put forward by the rabid right, there were a lot of key decisions he made which contributed greatly to the collapse of our economy in late 2008. The responsibility for the deregulation of the banking industry falls squarely in his lap. It was a crony deal from jump street and everybody with half a brain knows it. George W. Bush didn’t help matters any by allowing the military industrial complex to lie us into an unfunded and unaffordable war. We lost a lot of international credibility during the W years that we may never get back. As another consequence, he destroyed his brother Jeb’s chance of ever becoming Commander in Chief, who, in my estimation was the cream of the Republican crop for this cycle. Thanks, George, for making The Donald even possible. We certainly “misunderestimated” your capacity for mindless audacity. Perhaps a bag of pretzels would have helped except that would have left us with Cheney, the war criminal.

He isn’t really a Democrat, (by today’s standards, but don’t tell anybody. They may be so blind in their party loyalty that they wouldn’t support him if they knew. Bernie doesn’t take ANY special interest money because he calls bullshit, loud and clear, on the system described above. He doesn’t want Goldman Sachs, or the pharmaceutical industry, or the military industrial complex (Boeing, McDonnel Douglas, Haliburton, etc.), or the insurance industry to be able to call in any favors. Gee, what a novel idea!! A government for, by, and of the people……….hmmmmm……. what an absurd notion!!! He wants to stop

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this ridiculous regime change policy in the Middle East and spend some of that money rebuilding the crumbling infrastructure here at home. Gee, that’s a lot of good jobs!! That’s crazy, right? OH, another thing………..Obamacare???? He wants to replace it......with something much BETTER. It’s called Single Payer Healthcare like every other civilized nation in the free world. Imagine that…….No….REALLY…..imagine that!! Did you know it will cost you less than you are paying now even though you will be paying ever so slightly more in taxes? At the end of the day, what matters is what you actually have left to put in your pocket, right? By the way, he doesn’t believe in the concept of prisons for profit. He thinks it is immoral, DON’T YOU?

Hillary will tell you whatever you want to hear just to get your vote, with only a secondary responsibility to the truth. She is part of a huge, well-oiled corporate purchased/political machine which is prone to easily vacate principle as a matter of political convenience. She lacks Bernie’s integrity, his record, and his character. She, and sadly, politicians like her, are the problem, and Bernie is the solution. -

Zachary Mann

Hillary Clinton is an establishment politician, nothing more and nothing less.

March, 2016 

Editorial

Which Way to Utopia?

principle, and turn around and go home. I respect them for their integrity. But I’m not so anxious to sacrifice my family for their values.

(The case for a Hillary Clinton nomination)

I’m about to enter into a knife fight. In front of me stands a man, infinitely more powerful than I am. He is a vile, disgusting, horrible example of the worst of humanity – and he makes no pretense that he isn’t. He will, I am convinced, destroy my family and my way of life, if he is allowed to continue on his path. Behind him is his impressive horde of lackeys, willing to do anything to help him succeed even though they don’t know why. For them, there are no rules. On my left and right are my friends – not so much friends as enemies of my enemy. One has a reputation – deserved or not – of ruthlessness. She holds a sword and there is no doubt that she is willing to use it. The other is known for his character and promotion of fair play and equality. He knows he has virtue on his side, so he doesn’t wield a weapon. I can only take one of them with me into the fight, across the line that has been drawn in the sand.

The followers of the sword will stand behind us, even if I should choose the virtuous man. If we fail, they will continue to fight on, vastly outnumbered, feeble as that attempt may be, to keep the horde from advancing. They will lose. That’s my analogy for the Democratic Presidential primary fight. Here’s why… It is practically impossible to get a Bernie Sanders supporter to say that he/she will vote for Hillary Clinton in the general election if Hillary should get the nomination. While the Sanders supporter – I’ll call them “Berners” for this analysis – wholeheartedly agrees with the Clinton supporter (Clintonite) that Donald J. Trump is Satan Incarnate, for reasons that were fathomless to me, if their candidate should not make it to the big dance they say they will sit at home and watch Satan ascend to the throne.

Behind us are the armies of my two friends, split among philosophical lines. Half follow the woman with the sword, willing to use whatever weapons they have at their disposal to help her prevail – if she is chosen to accompany me. In short, it boils down to my belief that they are simply “spoiled,” reminiscent of a child who would rather burn his Halloween candy than share it with his siblings.

Should I choose the sword, these people will abandon the fight on

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The Berners Movement started out honorably, calling attention to political corruption and corporate greed and the inevitable intertwining of the two; desiring to take “big money” out of the political equation through sweeping campaign finance reform, thereby allowing more peopleserving individuals to reach high offices that have, for as long as anyone can remember, been attainable only by the elite. It was a grassroots

March, 2016 

Editorial movement that quickly turned to a grass fire and spread into an inferno.

Then, when Trump destroys the country – figuratively or, perhaps literally – as they expect, they’ll be able to turn to the rest of us, middle finger extended, and shout “We told you so!” When asked why, they point to Hillary’s “business as usual” tactics, claiming that she’s no better than Trump because she accepts the corporate money to finance her campaign, and is thereby beholden to corporate masters. Of course, Trump doesn’t accept corporate money, like all of the other Republicans; he IS corporate money. So, do they ignore the concept that Hillary is using that money and her less-than-honorable (according to the Berners and Republicans) tactics to work toward many of the same ends that they, themselves, want to achieve with the election of Sanders? It would seem so. But, in reality, they simply stand on their moral high ground, insisting that they don’t want to win by cheating. To Hell with the poor and disenfranchised. To Hell with the environment. To Hell with the multitudes that will be killed and maimed in needless, unnecessary wars brought on through Trump’s uncompromising, un-diplomatic arrogance. Let the rebel flags fly! Let the missiles rain down upon us! America deserves this, because she refused to play the game our way. And only our way.

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Hillary is far from the ideal candidate to these people. She’s not promising to step into office and make the sweeping overnight changes that Bernie, Trump, Cruz, etal say they’ll make. This is because she understands the reality of government.

She understands that any promise made by a presidential candidate is only smoke being blown up our collective ass if there’s no way to get it through Congress, who holds the president’s purse strings. She understands that Executive Actions can only take us so far – and they can be easily erased by the opposition once they regain office. And mostly, she understands that, for Americans, there are two polar opposite definitions for “Utopia,” and neither of them will ever be achieved.

We simply believe that moving nowhere, if it comes to that, is better than descending into Satan’s lair. We call it pragmatism. We have seen the enemy, and he is not Bernie Sanders. We wish the Berners could understand that.

March, 2016 

Living

On the subject: Political Man Hands - I Must Brush Up on MeetingWorld-Leaders-WhoTouch-My ShoulderWith-Their-Man-Hands Skills

By Rhonda Crone Due to recent talk regarding the size of politicians’ hands… So, one night at chick night Happy Hour,

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my friend Carolyn and I discussed the size of men’s hands over martinis. We discussed other things too, some not quite clean enough to write about even here. So in short, this conversation wasn't to say that a man's hand size is 100 percent indicative of penile size, but generally, let's face it, hands say a lot. The eyes, yeah they're special, but the hands… the hands are a window to, uh, well, you know. A few months ago, I was sitting at a Ruth's Chris bar with another friend and there was this business man eating a *petite (yes, PETITE) filet, and I was stupefied by his tiny, freakishly small hands as he tried to make small-talk with us, and all I could think of was his poor, poor wife. I mean they were like little TRex hands. And I felt totally sorry for him. I don't think penis pumps really work, so what can the poor guy do? A woman can get vag rejuvenation, boobs, butt implants, their own butt fat injected into their lips, lipo, you name it, we can fix it, with enough money. But this guy, who I’m certain had plenty of cash, what can a man with tiny hands, and regrettably, a matching penis do? It's not fucking fair, and I feel for that guy. I was totally nice to him, which was the very least I could do. ANYway, back to mens' hands. Even if they're not overtly gigantic, but positively proportionate to his frame, they are a fairly good indicator of his ... junk. And, even if they aren't superduper large, they can still testify to how well he knows how to use said...junk. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck here, March, 2016 

Living people, I do know a few things. So Carolyn’s and my conversation turned to the hands of our former president, Mr. William Jefferson Clinton. Around here, in his original neck o’ the woods, we call him Bill. That man has some gorgeous, and large hands. Long, elegant pianoplaying fingers. He's always flaunting them, flailing them about during speeches, touching his temple with them. Pointing with them. I notice these things. So, call this coincidence or what you will, but his baby-soft, large, expressive left hand only a short four hours before this was rubbing my left shoulder. Yes, that would be Bill's. We're now on a firstname basis. I was sitting near the front door of Starbucks, because it was full and my usual seat in the back was oddly taken (fate? I think so). There was a college girl studying in the seat next to me. Through the glass doors we both notice Secret Service guys unloading from an un-tinted SUV, and we wait to see who appears. Jim Bob Duggar? Star Jones? Maybe I dunno, Justin Beiber? No. A big lovely white head of hair popped out and I immediately knew. "Holy Shit!" my Tourett's syndrome resurfaced. “It’s Bill Clinton!” I shouted. As he slowly entered, the timid girl stood up and quietly told him her father was someone who had worked with him, and died last year, and they shook hands. She was very serious and almost solemn, I'm just sitting on my stool, trying to contain myself, chomping at the bit for her to shut the hell up! I thought, I am NOT gonna let this opportunity pass

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me by to meet a world leader. At Starbucks. And it WON’T be like when I met Mr. Big at Peet's Coffee in LA. (What's the deal with coffee shops anyway? and why didn't they just drive through?). Anyway, Bill looks at me, with that face so familiar I feel like he's family, and I stand up and ask, gushing like a little girl at a Jonas Brothers concert, "can I shake your hand too?" "Why sure,” says Bill, and grabs my little (this is a good thing if you are a girl) hand with his big, soft, manicured, intelligent man-hand, and shakes it and holds it, as I fumble to impress him that my brother's ex ex ex girlfriend or some shit worked at the Rose Law firm when he and Hillary were there and nothing comes out making ANY sense. Not an ounce. And he shakes his head like, “yeah,” and I ask if I can take a picture. "Sure!" He takes my iPhone from my hand to his and hands it to a (cute) Secret Service guy, who takes an off-center picture when Bill takes the college girl's and my shoulders under his big manhands and poses. I have on a strapless sundress (it’s July) and his lovely soft hand rubbed my shoulder tattoo, a little bit. I’m thinkin’, that's kinda like kismet or somethin' right? The hand thing? Bill's not thaaat old, is he? Stop calling me Monica. Also like an idiot, I asked, "can I put it on Facebook?" as I take the phone back, and Bill says in his scratchy Southern way, "Sure, you can do whatever ya want withit! ...So you live here too?” SO, with a shit-hole start to my day, a little hungover, just a little, and March, 2016 

Living somewhat depressed, I meet a world leader. Nevermind that I was a total dork; I think he found it endearing (5 years later I will have a similar encounter with Sir Robert De Niro, to whom I say, “I wasn’t trying to grab your butt.”). But, I have a tendency to always think of something waaay cooler to say after the fact of meeting someone famous. (Or anyone really, for that matter.) Here's what I wish I could have said to Bill: "Oh, hello there Mr. Clinton. My friend Carolyn and I were just talking about your big beautiful hands over drinks last night. Coincidence? I think not." That woulda been cool. But oh well. I think he dug me. On the other HAND, I’m not sure what this means for Hillary.

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Rhonda Crone loves to write about food, local culture and travel and secretly has a lifelong dream to write for Rolling Stone. When not working as the Northwest Arkansas advertising representative and one of the writers for Arkansas Times Special Publications, promoting her regional cookbook: Local Flavor of Northwest Arkansas, dabbling in screenwriting or writing her blog, rhorhosbistro.squarespace.com, she drinks and cooks, taxis kids, does hot yoga and bikes Fayetteville’s city trail system with her family.

March, 2016 

Living

acted out. Family occupied in any spaces we couldn’t fill.

Life by Starra Dotson How do we ever know we made the right decision? I’m not talking about the, “what to fix for dinner” kind of decision. I’m talking about a life direction kind. As I sit here, drinking my Sailor Jerry and Coke, I realized - I finally did make the right decision. Last year, feeling more than burned out from running someone else’s business for too many years while they played semi-retired, I decided 2015 would be the end. While I was trying to implement my exit, work place drama was making the day-to-day operations way too stressful. Anyway, after giving notice that was met with disrespect and disbelief, I left that huge part of my identity and life behind to move forward into a new chapter. My kids were always looked after by my immediate family; such a blessing. And to my former employer’s credit, I was able to be with my kids when they needed me, until too many of my family’s cancer scenarios required me to be gone more than he was willing to tolerate. My husband and I balanced sickness, school activities, and award ceremonies between us. It totally worked being able to switch off being there whenever the girls needed us, and they never complained or 28

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Over the years I would talk about leaving work and coming home to be full time Mom, and the girls and our mothers would always tell me I wouldn’t be completely happy or fulfilled if I did. My mother-in-law worked full time as a remedial reading teacher, and raised four children. My mom was the accountant for our family’s successful construction company, and raised three children. It wasn’t expected of me to work AND be a mom, but it was my example. I’ll never forget it, on a Saturday, a patient asked me if I was a mother. I said yes. Then with a verbal smack in the face she asked me, “who is with your children right now?” I had NEVER had another mother challenge me about me being a Mom. I took a very deep breath and responded, “they are with THEIR father.” After everything I had accomplished and built, one very simple, and I must say, uneducated woman asked me that insulting question….but, was she really wrong??? We are born, given dolls and tea sets, pressured to have boyfriends, get married, and, “when are YOU going to have children??? Why can’t you do It all?????” In contrast to what I had been struggling with being a working mother, a friend had been a stayat-home mom for over twenty years. Facing an empty nest, she enrolled in college and received an associate’s degree. After she started working, the disruption in her family’s routine caused such a rift, the small fissures in her marriage became an abyss. Another friend of mine worked as an RN for many years, only to decide that the balancing act with work and raising children was totally affecting her health. She retired from nursing and became an aesthetician, self-employed, and more available March, 2016 

Living to her kids. Ultimately what was best for her shed light on problems in her marriage. Now both friends are single working mothers, but are finding their happiness in healthy, fresh starts. I love my daughters more than my own life. It doesn’t matter if I am here, there. Aren’t children in the world who are loved by their mothers that much the lucky ones? I am adopted, and even I know that. I have two daughters. I want them to be anything they want to be. I would do anything to make that happen. Mothers too, if they want too. I would never tell them they couldn’t be anything and mothers too. Back to the, ‘making the right decision.’ The months after I left my huge job and relationships I had with that life, I really struggled with the, “oh my God, what have I done with my life.” I threw myself into carpool, anything at school, completely available to anything the girls needed, taking care of our house, family, husband…there were so many days were I asked myself, “wtf?’ I have come to realize that I really love my husband. I love my children. They probably want me to go back to my old routine, but I am finding happiness in being their rock. I’m building new habits. Another surprising plus is reconnecting with my friends. They are all working moms, struggling to figure out how to have it all. It really comes down to what fulfills you the most. And, just maybe, I got out of the working game in time to be a mom too. Starra Dotson resides in Oklahoma with her family. She recently became a stay-at-home mother to her two princesses, and an experimental cook. Her new pastimes are housekeeping, laundry, and animal wrangling. She enjoys spending time with family and friends, music, cooking, traveling, and reading thrillers. Her creativity is limited to crocheting. She would like to thank her husband for continuously encouraging her to write for 22 years. He is very happy that she finally did it.

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March, 2016 

The Pope’s Poll Mark Peoples

As promised, here it is. THE ULTIMATE TRUMPF POLL. ONE-STOP SHOPPING. Something for everybody. All of Mark's Trumpf polls rolled into one easy post. As with any "greatest hits" album, there is some previously unreleased material included here. Okay Trumpolinis. Tell us all WHY you support the Dumald: 1. Bless my heart. I really am just dumber than a box of rocks; 2. Because I am a misogynistic racist, etc.; 3. Because my favorite TV shows are Jerry Springer, Duck Dynasty, and Real Housewives of Outer Mongolia; 4. ‘Cuz Sarah Palin is HOT!!! 5. Because I was a third-grade narcissistic egomaniacal playground bully and I have immense admiration for someone who can retain those qualities even at his age; or

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6. Because he has a lot of money. This means he will not be beholden to anyone else. This means that he will make decisions using only his enormous brain. His brain is bigger than everyone else's put together. If you don't believe him, just ask him; or 7. Because I am a member of ISIS and I really dig the Dumald’s plan to alienate the 99.35% of peaceful non-militant Muslims, thus increasing the chances that they will join us; or 8. I really just miss Mussolini a lot; or 9. Because I am a life-long Democrat and I want the Republicans to look as bad as possible; or 10. Because I really identify with Trumpf. I could not pass an 8th-grade civics class either; 11. Because he just wants to fix things. He doesn't worry with dumb stuff like the Constitution, etc. 12. Because I am basically "weak willed" and conform to the authority of a will much stronger than my own without question. I do not question the stronger will because my conformity is not based on facts, but on emotions; 13. Because Trumpf has a plan to make America great again. I really like the fact that he is keeping the plan a secret. That's OK, because none of us is smart enough to understand the details of his many intricate plans anyway; 14. Because GUNS, damn it! 15. Because neither David Duke nor Thom Robb is running this time; 16. Bless my heart. I really am just dumber than a box of rocks; 17. Because I don't know what ad hominem means, but I sure like the way it sounds; that's got to be somethin' good; 18. Because I think men who have to talk about the size of their "manhood" are SO sexy; 19. Because Trumpf tells the truth! OK, he sort of tells the truth some of the time. Well, OK, he says what I WISH was the truth, March, 2016 

? even though most of the time he's just making shit up; 20. Because FEAR, HATE, and PREJUDICE - WE LOVE IT! 21. The Dumald. With HIS finger on THE button. That would be so cool; 22. Because I absolutely love the fact that he’s willing to commit war crimes by intentionally killing innocent children and that NOBODY, not even our military leaders will be able to stop him (since they WILL do as he tells them; ‘cause he’s a leader, damn it!); 23. Because he's real. Real mean, real sexist, real racist, etc.; 24. Because I am tired of having to wear this white cloak and hood all the time. After Trump is elected, we will all be able to come out and show our faces in public; 25. Because I think it would be kind of neat if all of the youth of America wore uniforms with armbands, got military training, and learned to march and sing songs in praise of Trumpolini; 26. Because he wants to take America back -back to the 1950s when women, gays, and minorities knew their place; 27. Because I am a combat veteran who DIDN'T get captured like that loser McCain; 28. Because I am an unemployed brick mason; 29. Because I am just bat shit crazy; 30. Because I am an evangelical Christian and Trump is …, er, well … um, hey, let me get back to you on this, k?; 31. Because Obama sucks! (Yeah, that’s it); 32. Because his stance on gay marriage is so well expressed: "A lot of people — I don't want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It's weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink threefooters anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist";

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33. Because I am tired of being lied to by politicians. I would much rather be lied to by a shameless, egomaniacal, sociopathic, racist huckster; 34. Because he is TOUGH! I know this because he sometimes makes a really mean face when he talks; 35. Because he KNOWS global warming is just a Chinese plot (yes, he actually said this); 36. Because this is America, damn it!!! And we’s a country for the WHITES. Oh, I guess it’s OK to have a few of them othah ‘ns, as long as we ain’t got too many of ‘em; 37. I can't decide which I like better: his promises he cannot keep, his rhetoric he cannot support, or his “policies” he will not explain; 38. Because I always loved Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy used to always say “Bully.” Dumald IS a Bully, so I guess I like him, too; 39. Didn’t his wife pose nekkid or something like that? Duh. That cinches it for me; 40. Because I reside in some Bizarre-o-world alternative universe where evil is good and unicycles are pudding; 41. Because I always thought it would be so neat if we could have WWIII in my lifetime.

Come visit our Facebook page and post your answers!

March, 2016 

Afterword

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