WHEN IS ENOUGH, ENOUGH?

BY SUMMERLY ROWLANDS, OWNER AND CREATOR OF WWW.MY22QT.COM

As a parent, there will always be challenges and rewards when it comes to our children. The same is true for a special needs parent but elevated to the extreme.

My daughter was born in July 2021 and diagnosed with the rare genetic disorder 22q11.2 deletion syndrome when she was 22 days old. Since then, not a day has gone by without a challenge or reward. But lately, it feels like we’re facing challenge after challenge and I want to scream out “When is enough, enough?!” If you’re reading this, you’ve probably felt the same; like life can be so unfair. My sweet and innocent daughter is nothing short of amazing, and she doesn’t deserve what is being thrown at her. In our case, she doesn’t even know what she’s facing or up against because of her young age, so when we’re told about a new diagnosis or a new surgery needed, I just stare at her and hold her – I don’t ever want to let go. The world feels too big and the unknown of what’s next feels too scary. I want to take all of her challenges away and just shower her life with rewards. At 20 months old, she’s gone through more than the average person does their entire life, and enough is enough already.

But again, if you’re reading this, you also probably know that we can’t focus on the “when is enough, enough” because the real focus needs to be on the positives, the silver linings as I like to remind myself, because without that being the focus, the worries and stressors can become too much. There really is no other choice when you’re the parent but to remain optimistic. As the mom, I am on the frontlines – it is my duty to protect my child and with that, it is my duty to stay strong for her and be there for her no matter what. But if we’re being honest, the reason I can stay so strong is because of my daughter. Her resiliency is a force to be reckoned with. Like I said, she doesn’t even know the strength she has, but I do, and because of what she’s shown me, I know she is capable of getting through any barrier.

While enough is enough, we know that this life is never going to slow down for her or any of our special needs children. There will always be new findings, new changes, new meds, new treatments; new challenges and new rewards.

But that still doesn’t make it fair. I came across a saying recently that read, “I’m not sure how, but I will”, and that resonated with me deeply. Isn’t that just the total truth as a parent in general? It’s also true for our kiddos. Every time something happens or a new challenge arises, I’m the one finding myself unsure, but alas, she will conquer whatever it is. And she does.

While enough is enough, we know that this life is never going to slow down for her or any of our special needs children. There will always be new findings, new changes, new meds, new treatments; new challenges and new rewards. Let’s focus on those rewards. It’s so easy to sulk in the negative, but any win is a win, big or small. And those wins will look different for every individual. Even on the days where it feels too difficult to find the joy, look at your child, look at their smile. For me, my daughter’s smile can get me through anything. I will be her strength just as she is mine. That I will focus on.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, but there’s no stopping it, so always remember that God is enough, love is enough, and your child is enough. That’s the “enough” I will seek.

Visit our website, www.my22qt.com, to read more about Izzy’s condition and our story.