Freedom Wall: On Why Being Who You Are Matters

On Why Being Who You Are Matters

written byJay Fernando

I would never have imagined that lying in bed with my eyes closed and listening to my all time favorite songs could become a source of deep anxiety. It should have been one of the things I love doing, but at that moment fear was slowly creeping in – more and more people were getting sick, as the government scrambles trying to figure out how to abate the rising infection rate, and the economy is shut down.

In what usually is a moment of rest, I felt restless. When you’re in social isolation, you start asking questions. Perhaps because you were accustomed to talking to people, you start talking to yourself more. You start with the small easy questions: Like if you’re going to be stuck for a long time at home, will you be able to just subsist on canned sardines? or How am I going to wash my clothes without a laudrymat operating? Inevitably you move on to the harder ones: If you get laid off, are your savings enough til the economy stabilizes and get re-hired? Are the relationships you’re tending dying? Then you move on to more existential questions, to questions about your identity and basically how you’ve lived your life thus far. You ask about what you think you have control over and what you do not. For some LGBT people, that includes your gender identity and presentation.

Like perhaps – is my gender identity of importance when most of our pressing questions are about surviving a pandemic? I’ve never felt comfortable with how society sees me as I am obviously coded male. And though my gender dysphoria hasn’t made me completely transition to a more female-coded body or presentation, it is enough to make me question if my gender identity is something I do have control over. It has made me ask these questions years ago, and came to the conclusion that I am nonbinary. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been much talk or representation for nonbinary people in the country. I myself, after years of identifying as nonbinary have a hard time explaining what it is to my friends and family. I just tell them that I do not associate with being male or female, that I question gender roles in society, and that’s that.

Ive always asked why being nonbinary is not as popular in the Philippines, and I could only surmise an answer. We as a people are not accustomed to asking questions, and more and more nowadays to ask questions against authority is something discouraged, if not completely shot down by the perpetuated culture of fearing authority for your life because of the Duterte regime and its tagging of people pushing back against power. This is more apparent during this time of the pandemic. But the capacity to ask and search for answers are fundamental to freedom. And freedom is crucial to our most human endeavor of making sense of our lives.

Servitude and obedience have been how we are perceived to be as a people, and to actualize is something that is contrary to what our society has prevented to do. A country of slaves, made to put things in tidy small boxes, understandable and not conflicting. In times of economic suffering caused by the pandemic, in a poor country like the Philippines, it seems as if gender identity is a non-essential concern. It will be easier if you just accept things “as is” and not something you question or make a big deal about. Being nonbinary seems to be, at least to most people, is something hard to explain and moreso “be” when questioning the gender binary is an activity we could just not do.

And this is why I think it is perhaps important for me to be who I am, and know myself more than anybody else who could lay claim to that privilege. In times of the pandemic, I realized how deeply important this is – being who you are, truly and without reservations. Questions like this about gender identity are not questions most people have when faced with the reality of survival. But it is an essential question, if not one of the most important ones about our identity.

Lying in bed thinking about these things, that I am still capable of knowing and insisting on who I am instill a sense of control over my life. At least it is for me, as I face my own mortality. And to question and confront are in themselves vital not just in our survival but in our evolution.

Graphic from freepik.com

Finding One’s

True Identity written by Asha Gutierrez

Being a Gender LGBTQ ally and example, “What or who do we truly de- tions. To realize what it can be to tackle HIV advocate studies allow us to sire?” This question should be answered in or understand one’s own identity and perrethink and reshape our lives. averse to the ‘biased’ perspective of cer- sonal gender preference. As Garcia said, tain constructs. As Blumenfield and Ray- “Good or bad this is truthfully — this time

It enables one to question and understand mond assert, truth is a provisional and more persona’s the existence of terms like “sexuality” and fiction — how gay life in this neocolonized the history that they possess. It creates a world ought increasingly to be seen” (xv). sense of openness towards each individu al through education. To respect each in - “Sexuality as more than Our own identity should never subordinate to the viewpoints of the society in dividual despite the differences they may have; it is where they learn to accept diver- merely a behavior but is itself. Genders do not merely tackle one’s gender. It reflects one’s own experiences sity as the norm of today and help create a future of inclusivity. rather an aspect of personal identity which strongly regarding race, ethnicity, class, and globalism. To see ourselves as part of the community and gain feelings of belonging-

Discovering different aspects of ourselves helps us piece together our identity. For influences the ways people ness and motivation. live their lives and view the world at large. The term It is one’s right to be respected and hopefully, accepted by the other. Respect is important given that it teaches us to real'heterosexual,' 'homosexual,” ize that each gender has its right to exist. Such as the Filipino gays who are mocked and 'bisexual' are then, and derided as a lesser being called, ‘bakla.‘ This makes the word into a derogatory labels which refer not only to sexual behaviors but also lesser meaning. They are even considered as a funny joke or an amusement. Apart from that, gay existence has become an in-

Always realize that to the persons who engage in those behaviors”. herent problem to others due to religious beliefs of misconception. Michael Tan expresses this concern, “In society such as the Philippines, we face a double dilemma where religious dogmatism condemns you can get Such is the importance of having a strong what used to be “normal” (not necessarily normative) behavior as sinful” (209). The coming out process of the gay, thus, bebetter. Your sense of identity for one’s self. Through finding one’s identity, it is easier to positively define and perceive oneself. Michael comes a challenge due to prejudiced con structions. best work Tan confirms that the medicalization of homosexuality is a modern ideal (203). Learning this enables us to realize that it This highlights the importance of gender awareness. Its benefits will pave the way for future generations to be more has not been done yet. is a social construction and therefore be careful about what it claims to be true. This opens up the eyes of the public to the misconceptions that society has created towards the idea of homosexuality. Also, open-minded. The Philippines and its traditions can well be prosperous with both not only economical but also spiritual while simultaneously accepting gays, lesbians, transgenders, and other genders. want. discovering this can help homosexuals feel if not at home, but at least safe within their own society. Without the perceived notion Our country is adamant in its beliefs such as having a head or breadwinner in each home, the man, while the woman takes of believing that there is something wrong care of the children and does tasks at Les Brown with them, they are given a chance to live a better life. home. By better educating the youth today through gender studies, LGBTQ, and HIV awareness, our future can be much more Such awareness give us the opportuni- liberal and non-restricting, a vision of an ty to explore different depths amidst our accepting Filipino community. own familial, cultural, or social expecta10 10 10

Beyond the Advocacy: written by: Russel Clint Francis So

LGBTQIA+ Representation

Social commentaries regarding with strict social norms and traditions that and advocates. Imagine seeing more of LGTBQIA+ representation is cru- may not necessarily be conducive to a the members of the LGTBQIA+ communicial to honing the youth for their queer child growing up. Although we are ty taking up space. A transgender woman fulfilled future. There’s a scene breaking the glass ceiling in terms of be- prominent in public service, a transgender in The Devil Wears Prada where ing acknowledged but it’s a far cry to what man in the armed forces defending our Andy confides to Nigel about her we truly and rightfully deserve. For a child country, a gay man presenting his research frustrations about the work she navigating the world with what seemed to study abroad, a lesbian woman flourishputs in and the lack of validation thrive in binary categories it can be dis- ing in her chosen profession, an empathic she receives for her tireless ef- couraging and even be harmful to an ex- and loving ally, and a non-binary individual forts. tent. breaking gender stereotypes and being a Candle lighting and bike parade @KabisdakPride KPLUS WAD Conversations among Mr. and Miss Kagay-an PLUS Winners @kagayanplus2015 Community outreach @LAKANCommunityCenter SaferNowPH Summit 2020 force to be reckon with. “This is a shining beacon of hope for… oh, I The point of the matter is, if we can presdon’t know… let’s say a young boy growing ent ourselves fearlessly then we can show If we can be present and present ourup in Rhode Island with six brothers pre- the LGBTQIA+ youth that it’s okay, we are selves as a beacon of hope, not only are tending to go to soccer practice when he valid. At this very moment there could a we achieving the goals set in advocating was really going to sewing class and read- child losing hope in pursuing their fully re- for social awareness and education, we’re ing Runway under the covers at night with alized selves. There could be children set- also instilling hope for the future of the a flashlight” Nigel passionately exclaims. To ting aside their talents just because they LGBTQIA+ youth. We can lead them to a some, it just a way to convey that art in its are made to believe that their dreams are shift in perspective that they can in fact purest form regardless of medium should trivial pursuits. take up space and follow their dreams. As be sought after with true intent. But to a we use the different medium of platforms little gay boy growing up in the province it What I wished growing up is that I wish I to champion for change, let’s not forget translates a little bit differently. could’ve seen more of what I see now. The about the hopeful youth that is silently Seeing a version of someone you want to diverse representation, intelligent, talent- here, we are queer, and we’re here to stay. be is particularly lacking in an environment ed, skillful, and kindhearted volunteers

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