Risen Magazine - Winter 2012

Winter 2012

$4.95 US

contents

winter 2012

interviews

>>

08 Kylie Bisutti

From Scantily Clad to Truly Glad: Why Model Kylie Bisutti Walked Away from Victoria’s Secret

16 Jim Sonefeld

Sweet Surrender: Hootie and the Blowfish’s Drummer Jim Sonefeld Leaves a Hard Beat for a New Heart Beat

22 Clayton & Ellen Kershaw

An All-Star in Africa: Dodger’s Cy Young Pitcher’s Overseas Project

28 Joe Kissack

From Seinfeld, Success & Seeking His Father’s Approval to Three Fishermen and Life-Transforming Faith: Joe Kissack Went from Rock Bottom to Rock Solid

36 40

Gillian Gibree

Standing Up and Giving Back: Pro Stand Up Paddleboarder Gillian Gibree

Matthew Emerzian

Transforming the Way You See the Week so that…

Every Monday Matters

departments

>>

Miracle: 44

GenerateHope’s Susan Munsey

There is a Way Out: Organization Offers Hope to

Girls Caught in the Web of Sex Trafficking

Outreach: 52

Give Clean Water’s Darrel Larson

Fiji: From Sickness & Survival to Sustainability & Strength One Man Created A Solution for the Country to Have Clean Water

Q-5: 58

59

60

Argo

Ben Affleck & Bryan Cranston

James Bond in Skyfall

Daniel Craig & Javier Bardem

Alex Cross

Tyler Perry

Sound 61

Mucic Notes

Mumford & Sons, Imagine Dragons and Ellie Goulding

Photo: Darrel Larson

Shift in

Perception

Whether it’s the way you interpret the American Dream, or the idyllic view in your mind of the tropical islands of Fiji, or how you come to understand the way six Americans were rescued during the Iranian hostage crisis…these accounts are perceived one way by most, but entirely differently by the ones that have actually experienced them. I hope there are several times when reading this issue that your perception of something you thought you knew to be true, shifts.

Joe Kissack had it all – according to the world’s standards; yet he was far from happy. His story includes glitz, glamour, wealth, addiction, depression, and a now, rock solid faith. But what I appreciated most when talking to him was the very raw telling of his relentless pursuit to earn his father’s approval, the emptiness that came with chasing the American Dream, and that only true fulfillment comes out of serving others and the Lord. Perception shifted.

I also had the incredible opportunity to travel to Fiji with Darrel Larson and the Give Clean Wa-

ter team. We went into the rural villages to install water filters and see lives instantly changed. From the kava ceremony, to meeting with the Ministry of Health’s Madame Chief Una Bera, to hearing the stories of sickness and survival, the Fijians are such warm, welcoming people, full of rich tradition and a positivity to be admired. Yet, there are some interesting facts about the selling of Fiji water. I hope you gain as much insight from this article, as I did on the trip. Perception shifted.

And finally, I can’t forget Ben Affleck. He’s three for three as far as I’m concerned when it comes to directing. He not only is behind-the-camera, but also stars in Argo, a film about the top secret mission to rescue six U.S. diplomats from Tehran. It’s the movie, about a fake movie… and both were executed brilliantly. Perception shifted.

Blessing to you for the upcoming holiday season!

Editor-in-Chief

PUBLISHER :: Allan Camaisa EDITORIAL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF : Kelli Gillespie CONTRIBUTING WRITERS :: Mei Ling Starkey, Henry Ortlip, Samantha Baer, Jess Fierro, Kelli Gillespie, Nikki Jimenez, Heidi Ortlip, Jake Hamilton COPY EDITOR: Patti Gillespie

ART ART DIRECTOR :: Rob Springer CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS :: Jon Soo Hoo, Darrel Larson, Henry Ortlip, Rob Springer, Kefski Photo, Chris Schmit Photography, Nicolaas de Bruin Photography, Claire Folger, Francois Duhamel, Sidney Baldwin, Joanne Max, Shana Siler, Chris Klau, Senses Reeled Photography, Matthew Glac, Fishco, Laura Sonefeld

MULTIMEDIA WEBMASTER :: Brett R. Schoeneck

PUBLIC RELATIONS AGENCY Focuscom Inc :: info@focuscominc.com DIRECTOR OF MEDIA DISTRIBUTION :: Jess Fierro EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR RISEN PROJECT :: Megan Camaisa

PRINTED :: USA

PUBLISHED :: San Diego, CA

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Risen Media, LLC

5715 Kearny Villa Rd Ste. 108 San Diego Ca 92123 Tel: (858) 539-5650 • Fax: (858) 430-3150 info@risenmagazine.com

The views and opinions expressed by the subjects interviewed are not necessarily those shared by the publisher or staff of Risen Media, LLC. All interviews remain the sole property of Risen Magazine.

All rights reserved. No part of the contents of this magazine may be reproduced without the written consent of Risen Media, LLC. Copyright © 2012 “Risen” is a Trademark of Risen Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Cover Photo :: Jon Soo Hoo

Photo: Kefski Photo

From Scantily Clad to Truly Glad: Why Model Kylie Bisutti Walked Away from Victoria’s Secret Writer: Samantha Baer

eing called a “fat cow,” or being told you’re small frame needs to drop more weight is never something you want to hear, especially if you’re one of the top supermodels in the world. As Victoria Secret Angel of 2009, Kylie Bisutti rose to the pinnacle of her career triumphing over 10,000 other beautiful women hoping to earn the coveted title. But instead of basking in all the glory that comes with achieving your dream, she ended up walking away. Yes, you read that right; she left it feathers and all. Risen pulls back the wings from her Victoria’s Secret photo shoots, to insecurities, her strong beliefs, and why modeling lingerie made her realize that her body should only be for her husband.

Interviewed exclusively for Risen Magazine in San Diego, California

Risen Magazine: Did you grow up wanting to become a model? What has your journey been like to get where you are today?

Kylie Bisutti: I pretty much wanted to get into the modeling industry from a very young age. My parents said as soon as I was out of diapers, I was already talking about modeling. So I feel like it was definitely something that was on my heart for my whole life because I don’t know how any little two-year-old really knows what modeling is.

I was 14 years old when I actually got started. I traveled to Thailand to get my [modeling] book going. I lived in Las Vegas at the time so I did a lot of local stuff for magazines, Fashion Show mall, and different runways.

When I was 16, I moved to New York and that’s when my career really started to take off.

RM: There are so many different ways that talent gets discovered. When did you sign with an agency and how did it happen?

KB: I signed with an agency when I was 14 years old in Vegas. I’m sure it is the same in a lot of places. People will just discover you when you are walking through the mall and ask you if you’ve ever considered modeling.

So I kind of got discovered that way and also my mom had sent out some pictures of me when I was younger to different agencies in the area and one of the agencies in Las Vegas picked me up. They are the ones that sent me to Thailand and eventually to New York and Japan. It was pretty much a local agency where I got my start.

RM: Since you were still a minor, how did your parents feel about you taking this path and what amount of influence did they have on your decision?

KB: My mom came with me to Thailand. I went to New York by myself and moved into a “models” apartment which was just me and few other models that worked at my agency. I pretty much just lived there on my own up until I got married at age 19.

RM: Who were some of the supermodels that you aspired to be when you were learning the business?

KB: I’ve kind of always looked up to Tyra Banks because I used to watch America’s Next Top Model when that show was really popular. I just loved her and her personality and she was always really positive, happy, and very successful in the modeling Industry.

RM: Living in New York, traveling to Thailand…at what other fun locations did you work and how was your education handled through it?

KB: I went to Japan for two months when I was sixteen, and of course when working with Victoria’s Secret I went to the Caribbean, but not for a lengthy amount of time. For education, when I was sixteen, I left high school and started doing an online program through BYU – I’m not Mormon – but that was the easiest to do because it was all online and you could pretty much just do it all yourself. I did not end up going to college. I also never really had the desire to since I was making so much money modeling - and that was really my passion -and you don’t have to go to school for that. So that worked out.

RM: How did you feel about leaving high school early?

KB: I was pretty sad having to leave high school because I was on the basketball team, as well as the track team, and sports were really important to me. I left mid season so it kind of sucked having to leave my teammates, but I still got to experience most of the stuff that high school students enjoy. I went to prom when I was a sophomore so I still got to enjoy that experience and all the sports, but modeling was really my dream so it was worth it to me to give that up and go ahead with the online route. I (actually) was madefun of through high school so it was easy for me to leave because I didn’t really have a ton of friends. risenmagazine.com 09

RM: While a big accomplishment for most 16-year-olds is learning how to drive, you had already started modeling and left the normal school setting.

What did a typical day look like for you?

KB: For the most part it was just castings all day long but it was kind of nice because you didn’t really have to get up early. You work when the clients want to work. Most of the castings started around noon which is a pretty good schedule and they would go to like 6 p.m. On average there would be four, maybe five, castings a day. On working days, jobs usually started pretty early in the day so you would just work rather than go to castings. Not a lot of clients worked on Sundays so you usually had that day off.

tion, posing in lingerie, and all that. He is very naive to the whole industry – that’s what I loved about him when I first met him. He didn’t even know who Heidi Klum was! And he didn’t even know what Victoria Secret’s was when I first met him. It wasn’t until I was always looking at the catalogs, so he only knew about it because of me. He didn’t really know exactly what came with being a Victoria’s Secret model so he was just really excited for me and really proud of me and he knew that it was something that I was really passionate about. Eventually, when he saw that I was posing in lingerie and doing lingerie competitions and he saw all kinds of pictures all over the Internet of me, it really started wearing on his heart and he started praying about it after that.

RM: Did he approach you about this?

ctually, if it weren’t for me KB: It was wearing on his heart a lot earlier it was on mine and he was just pray doing Victoria’S Secret, I than ing about it. He didn’t really come to me. He just brought it to God and then eventually it

Wouldn’t have a platform started convicting my heart and that’s when I now to talk to young girls about came to him and I asked, “Do you think what I’m doing is okay? Should I continue to do this? I everything that I went through don’t really know.” All he said to me was that and everything that I’ve experienced. he wanted me to make the decision on my RM: Becoming a Victoria’s Secret model is quite a status symbol within the modeling world now, how did you get picked to become an angel?

KB: When I was pretty much newly married my mother-in-law had told me that she heard about a casting for Victoria’s Secret. I was living in California at the time, because that is where my husband lived, and New York really didn’t work out for us in our married life. She told me about this casting and I decided I might as well go on it. I did and I ended up getting selected for the final rounds that day out of a few thousand girls. From there they chose ten girls because they had four different auditions throughout the United States.

So in total, there were about 10,000 girls that ended up auditioning for it and they chose ten from those girls. After that we all [model finalists] ended up moving to New York and pretty much competing, similar to America’s Next Top Model, but on a lot smaller scale; it was a lot quicker and there were less challenges. America voted and I ended up winning the whole thing!

RM: How long was this process and were you secluded from your husband too?

KB: I think I went almost a month without seeing him and then he was allowed to come [see me]. But he wasn’t allowed to stay at the house that I was staying at, and I wasn’t allowed to stay with him, but we did get to see each other and have dinners. The hardest part I would say was definitely being away from my husband for so long because we have a really close relationship – we have a hard time even going a full day apart, let alone a month.

own. But he did say, “How do you feel about me looking at other women in lingerie, or going online and seeing pictures of other women half-naked?” I said, “Well I wouldn’t feel good about that.” And he said, “That’s what all kinds of guys are doing with your pictures.” So it was really eye opening for me. I don’t want to be the woman that other wives husband’s are looking at.

RM: Speaking candidly, there are so many men who share the same fantasy of marrying a Victoria’s Secret model… what were men’s reactions to you?

How did you feel around men?

KB: I know a lot of friends of my husband really thought that he was the coolest guy ever to be married to a Victoria’s Secret model. It was kind of a turn-off to me. That’s what they put their value in and my husband puts his value in my heart and my inner qualities rather than my success or outer beauty. It really made me appreciate my husband more. He wasn’t one of those guys excited to be married to me because of my modeling and my career. It was a good thing that a lot of his guy friends, and even my guy friends, reacted that way because it made me appreciate my husband more.

RM: Speaking of your husband… how did the two of you meet?

KB: We met in Mexico on vacation. He was there with his dad, and I was there with my parents and we first saw each other at a restaurant at the resort.

The next day we were going on a snorkeling excursion and he was on it as well so we started talking and pretty much the rest was history!

RM: What about your parents? How did your dad feel about seeing his daughter in lingerie?

KB: My dad loved it and was very proud of me. He was not a Christian when I was modeling with Victoria’s Secret. He didn’t see anything wrong with it and was always bragging about me. He was just really happy and knew that my dream was to be very successful in modeling and that this was the top of the modeling industry. My mom was as well. Now it’s a lot different. My mom is very happy that I’m not modeling lingerie anymore. She’s expressed to me how much that has affected her life and how she has a different perspective on life. My dad is now a Christian, and he sees that his daughter modeling lingerie for other men to see is not something that he’s excited about anymore.

RM: How did your husband feel about you entering the Victoria’s Secret competition? Was there a discussion beforehand or any hesitations?

KB: There wasn’t really a conversation. He didn’t really express anything to me. I don’t think he really knew all that it would mean, being in the competi-

RM: When and how did faith start playing a role in your life?

KB: I was 15 when I first got invited to go to church and ended up getting baptized. My parents were not Christians so it was a new thing to me and it was kind of weird how it all happened right before I moved to New York. I

10 Risen Magazine

Photo: Chris Schmit Photography

12 Nicolaas Risen Magazine Photo: de Bruin Photography

went to church by myself in New York, and actually when I first moved there it was really crazy because I’ve only met a handful of models in the modeling industry that are Christians, but the first girl that I met in my “model” home was a Christian. It was like God had it all planned for me to go there and already have a friend who had the same belief system. So we went to church together for the first couple of months and then she ended up moving, so I went to church by myself after that.

RM: How did the other girls in the “model” home influence you? Was it hard to stick to your beliefs?

KB: The other girls did a lot of partying. They would be out until 4 a.m. and would come back drunk because a lot of models get free alcohol. Club promoters take them to the clubs and give them all the alcohol and food that they want. Luckily, I wasn’t really influenced by those girls. I think that it was because I was a new believer at that time and I was really reading my Bible and listening to Joyce Myer tapes and stuff.

did this effect you, your heart, your career and how did you react when they wanted you to be smaller?

KB: It definitely had an effect on me. I’m very thin naturally and I always got made fun of and was called anorexic. I always thought that I was too thin and tried gaining weight. So you can just imagine how thin I already was. When I went to New York they told me I was too fat for modeling and called me all sorts of names like the “fat cow,” and “fat pig.” My hips were too

o matter how thin you got,

or how in shape you were, they

would still Photoshop you for catalogs or magazines…so you could never be perfect enough.

RM: At anytime while you were modeling, did you feel convicted or wonder if this was the right place for you to be?

KB: It’s funny because I really feel like God had all of this planned out before I even started modeling. You would think that naturally I would be convicted because even at the age of 16-17, I was modeling without a shirt on. And obviously now looking back I see how sad that is, and how destructive that is. At the time though I didn’t see anything wrong with it – even being a new believer. I wasn’t convicted at all by it. So I really feel like I was just convicted in God’s timing after all the Victoria’s Secret stuff happened. Actually, if it weren’t for me doing Victoria’s Secret, I wouldn’t have a platform now to talk to young girls about everything that I went through and everything that I’ve experienced.

RM: What advice would you give to Christian girls that aspire to be models?

How can they go after their passion but still keep God first?

KB: That is actually the most common question that I get from girls because I feel like whether girls are Christians or not, it seems like most aspire to be a model or an actress or some sort of celebrity. Now I actually just flat out tell them that it’s something I do not recommend at all. It’s an industry that I think is very destructive to young girls unless they are really solid in their walk with Christ and really know who they are in the Lord and are confident in the Lord. Because I just know how destructive that industry is. I was doing very bad things at such a young age and it could have very easily, outside of God’s grace, gone really bad. I’ve seen so many young girls with eating disorders, and I advise them to pray hard and examine their hearts to see if what they are doing is for the right reasons.

RM: What about you in the future being a parent and having a daughter who would want to pursue this as her career, what would you say to her?

KB: If I have a daughter one day and she wants to get into modeling, I am definitely going to encourage her not to. As long as she is under 18, I won’t be letting her get into modeling. After she is older than that, I hope that she will respect my decision [realizing that] I’ve already been through it all. But I definitely will advise for her not to get involved in the industry.

RM: Modeling is an industry with extreme pressure on being thin. How

big, my waist was too big, my thighs were too big…it really had an effect on me because I went my whole life thinking that I was too thin and they were telling me if I wanted to make it [as a model] then I needed to be even thinner. My mom knew this and when I would look in the mirror, I wouldn’t see who I really was [but instead] would see a fat pig and always wanted to see myself thinner. Thankfully, I never ended up with an eating disorder. But I definitely lost a lot of weight doing cleanses and stuff like that - I lost more weight than is natural. Even at that point I still saw somebody who wasn’t thin in the mirror looking back at me. Now that I am out of that, I just see me and not a delusion.

RM: Do you still have pressure?

KB: No I don’t anymore at all, thankfully. But I did for a lot of years.

RM: How did your peers react to the pressure to be so thin?

KB: I know a lot of the girls felt the pressure. Some would take liquid laxatives trying to dispose of everything they ate, some would throw up their food, other girls would just cry and become depressed because they weren’t thin enough. It really didn’t seem like anybody felt good about themselves.

No matter how thin you got, or how in shape you were, they would still Photoshop you for catalogs or magazines…so you could never be perfect enough.

RM: You’ve said, “There was always a constant struggle to be myself in the industry because it was always so superficial and demanding.” Can you explain a little bit about what that actually feels like?

KB: Yes, it seems like no matter what you do – they always want some sort of change! I don’t know if it’s about control. I guess that’s just how the industry is but it is very disruptive and you really can’t feel like yourself or be happy with yourself because they’re always trying to change you. When I had brown hair they wanted to dye my hair blonde, when I had blonde hair they wanted to dye my hair red. Sometimes you’re too tan and they want you to be pale for high fashion, so they’ll tell you to dilute your tan to look more sickly. But then other times they’ll want you to be more tan. They always want fake hair in your hair, fake eyelashes, tons of make-up and then they always Photoshop you, so you really can’t just feel like yourself.

RM: Every girl has feelings of insecurity at some point, and to hear you say “The further I fell into the dark hole of ‘Satan’s playground’ the more insecure and risenmagazine.com 13

unhappy I became,” probably leaves most baffled. You appear to have it all or at least all the world has to offer. What brought out the insecurities and how were you able to identify and then ultimately conquer them?

KB: What brought the insecurities on as I grew in my career and my success, was that everything revolved around my outer appearance. Once I was working with Victoria’s Secret, I had to always be super tan, I was always getting my hair done, I always had hair extensions in, I always had make-up on and it was like I always had to be this sex symbol all the time and never just be me for who I am. If there was a day when I wasn’t tan enough, or thin enough

They weren’t really happy with me when I told them that because obviously they were losing money on it and there were other clients that wanted me to do swimwear. I had to turn jobs down at that point because I made the decision not do any of those anymore.

RM: So you didn’t necessary leave Victoria’s Secret, you just decided to not model specific things with them?

KB: No, I didn’t do any more jobs with them after that.

RM: How did you feel about your decision then, and how does it sit with you now?

KB: I actually wasn’t really sad about it at all. I think in the beginning I was more scared of what other people would think, especially some members of my husband’s family that really put their value in that kind of stuff and success.

So it was more what other people thought of me, I wanted to be accepted after that. I didn’t want them to think that I was just throwing my career away and not successful anymore. But when it came down to it, the Lord showed me that I was way happier and more fulfilled and I ended up not caring what anybody thought after that because I was so at peace with it all. My relationship with the Lord grew, my relationship with my husband grew, and I felt like it was the easiest step and decision in my life. Other than getting married and stuff like that, for my career it was a peaceful decision.

y relationship with the

Lord grew, my relationship

with my husband grew, and I felt like it was the easiest step and decision in my life. or I was bloated, it would cause all these insecurities and on top of that, they would Photoshop [my pictures] doing all these things to change and mold me. It just creates a very very insecure person because all of your value is placed on your outer appearance. They only value you for your looks and that’s it. You always had pressure to look perfect all the time because that’s what you were hired for and where your value was. I was finally able to get past that by putting my value in Christ because that’s something that I hadn’t ever really done in my life; my career always came first. Putting Christ before all that and putting my value in my inner qualities, the qualities that he looks at, allowed me to get past all those insecurities. Of course I still struggle with them here and there, and of course some days more than others, but I always work on trying to put Christ above those and find my value in him rather than my outer appearance.

RM: When did everything change and was there a specific event or person that God put in your life? Or was it a gradual change of heart?

KB: It was kind of gradual, but there was one really big turning point and that was after I had posed for FHM magazine. I really did things there that God convicted my heart of – things that were not honoring to him or my husband. Obviously since FHM means “For Him Magazine”, it was me posing for other men. I mean my husband doesn’t even look at those magazines.

So me posing for other men to see, that’s really when the Lord just opened my heart to all that I had been doing. He confronted me with the questions [to answer] of what kind of wife and role model he wanted me to be.

RM: How did the conversation go with Victoria’s Secret when you decided to leave and stop modeling?

KB: I just stopped modeling lingerie and swimwear all together. The lingerie first and the swimwear came a little bit later. It was really just my modeling agency. I signed with Elite and they pretty much handle everything as far as knowing what jobs I will do and what jobs I won’t do. Obviously before, I was open to everything. They have these [clauses] that say will you pose with: alcohol, tobacco, nude, lingerie, etc. When I was younger, I had in there that I would pose topless, in lingerie, and in swimwear. It is really a conversation with your modeling agency to tell them which jobs you will and won’t accept.

14 Risen Magazine

RM: What has modeling been like for you since leaving?

KB: It really cuts out a lot of jobs when you decide not to model lingerie or swimwear. My standard is that I won’t model anything where the ad is trying to sell sex or it’s provocative, even if I’m fully clothed. I have became more selective in jobs I take. And now, I’m not really doing much modeling because I’m so busy with my speaking engagements at a lot of different churches and I’m writing a book about my experiences. I have a website where girls can email me and ask for advice on insecurities, eating disorders, confidence and anything that has to do with the Lord and their relationship with Christ.

It is really keeping me very busy and I’m a lot happier doing this. I feel it’s where the Lord has called me rather than doing modeling now.

RM: Obedience to God and really pursuing his calling for your life is never an easy road, but it’s so clear how the Lord has been able to use you as a role model for so many. What is the most important lesson you’ve learned through the process?

KB: I would say that the most important thing that I’ve learned is that God’s first commandment says, “Thou shalt put no other Gods before me.” And I was definitely making modeling my idol. I put it before a lot of things in my life and definitely put it before the Lord. Once I started putting the Lord before my modeling, and focused on honoring him in making those decisions not to model lingerie anymore, it was then that I found true fulfillment in life, true happiness, and true confidence in him. I learned that by putting him first, truly first in all things, then everything else falls into place. I’m a lot happier and things are way better.

Photo: Chris Schmit Photography

Photo: Laura Sonefeld 16 Risen Magazine

Writer: Jess Fierro

tanding before nearly 7,000 fans at a recent Hootie and the Blowfish concert, ex-band member Jim Sonefeld preformed one of his new Christian songs with his previous band mates. Later, after hearing only about half of the song, a listener commented online, “I think he’s singing about God!” Indeed he was. This past summer, Sonefeld released his first contemporary Christian album, focusing on his freedom from addiction and his changed life. A talented drummer, songwriter and now lead singer, Sonefeld took time to share with Risen about his struggles with alcohol, broken relationships and the void that finally forced him to seek help. Today, with a clear perspective of the past, this musician is sharing his experience and message through new songs and reaching out to help others who battle addiction.

Interviewed exclusively for Risen Magazine in San Diego, California

Risen Magazine: What were you like as a child?

Jim Sonefeld: I would say I was shy, but competitive, if I could make that contrast. I think most of my favorite childhood memories came on soccer fields [laughs] or anything involving the potential for a ball and chasing it. I love sports. I was good at most things I picked up. I had a big family of boys and a little sister surrounding me – we all were pretty active. So life usually involved a soccer ball, or playing some tennis, or basketball in the driveway with my family and friends.

RM: Was it like that through your whole childhood; through high school?

JS: Yes! In fact, it’s probably the only thing that got me to the University of South Carolina – that I still had a sizeable dream in my heart of playing professional soccer, or taking it to whatever the next level was.

RM: You started pursuing music at a young age also. Being part of Hootie and the Blowfish, when was the moment you knew that it was going to be really special?

JS: It was always something very special because it’s rare to be part of four guys in their early 20s who firmly believe in the same goal; to write songs and travel, and persevere. We just loved doing that and we loved the atmosphere.

That was super special. I had never really had that so equally with three other guys. [Regarding] the special moment, I don’t think I ever thought, “Oh, my gosh – we’ve just broken through! This is happening!” It was all a smooth, sort of ramp-up from about ’89 to ’94 and then things definitely went to another level in ’95. But even then, you’re just playing music, and your fans are there, and you sort of take it for granted, like this is normal.

RM: As one of the main writers for the band, where did the lyrics come from for you?

JS: My lyrics are all life experience; the love and the pain that I was living came out in my lyrics. I also did do a bit of writing about a lot of other peoples’ love and pain. So I just can’t say it was about me. I could also write a love song about someone else’s love. It didn’t always have to be my own heart.

RM: Some would say a number of those songs are among the most recognizable in the English language. Was there ever a pressure to outperform yourself when something you’ve written resonates across the country or around the world? Did you think, “I’ve got to do better than that to keep on the upswing?”

JS: There’s always slight pressure we put on ourselves as songwriters to write a better song. That’s the same whether there are 10 people listening, or 100, or 10,000. I think when you bring in record companies and budgets and marketing plans from separate entities, that can really add pressure that’s not your own; it’s other people’s pressure.

RM: That’s the real business side of it.

JS: Yeah. The business side is something most songwriters don’t know they’re going to have to take part in. It’s destroyed much better songwriters than myself along the way. We got great advice from David Crosby, from Crosby, Stills and Nash, when we were recording our first Atlantic record, and we asked him specifically, “Dude, you’re here in the studio singing backup vocals for this ‘Hold My Hand’ song. We’ve been performing for five years, tell us something that can help us along this path – just in case the path ends in 90 days.” He said, “Make sure you can separate the music from the music business.” And that was the risenmagazine.com 17

Photo: Courtesy of Fishco

best advice I’d heard at that point, because they are two distinctly different things. And if you do mix them, you’re probably going to become disgruntled, or jaded or frustrated.

RM: You were writing songs and drumming in Hootie and the Blowfish. How did your role develop?

JS: I spent a couple of years in a local cover band learning how to sing and drum, and I dabbled in songwriting. So I had a little bit of practice. But in our Hootie forum, we were all equal. We were all learning how to write songs.

We all thought we could sing. It turned out only one of us could [laughs]. In a lot of ways, we made it up as we went along.

RM: That’s the key to the creative process. You don’t necessarily have a blueprint for it and it just kind of develops.

JS: Absolutely – that’s well put. It’s creative, therefore, there’s no standard, necessarily, besides trying to keep your song under four minutes [laughs]!

RM: As the band became very successful and as you had more success and fame, money and ultimately access to whatever your heart wanted back then, did you ever feel satisfaction at the time like, “Wow, this is exactly what I want” or did you think “There’s always going to be more?”

JS: I think the satisfaction in the early ‘90s was I get to write songs and travel around, and our fan base is growing slightly – that was our simple attitude then. But when the big time hit – it challenges your motives. That was something I think we did well on, in that our motives were pretty good; to write 18 Risen Magazine

good music and to have people sing and dance and frolic. That really didn’t change when the big time hit.

RM: I’ve read about you back then and now, and you’ve been very open about addiction in your life. Could you walk us through how it began and how it affected your career?

JS: Well, I think addiction for me has always been a subtle foe. I think I always fit in enough where I didn’t party too hard, yet I would never turn down a drink. Rarely was peer pressure a factor. I just didn’t have the filter that most normal people have to say when it’s enough. After some years of that it led to using alcohol, and then drugs medicinally, to numb the real pain and the void I had in my heart. Unfortunately for most addicts, they’re unaware that this is what they’re doing.

RM: How did it affect your personality and how did you gauge that there may have been something wrong?

JS: You know what, I only learned most of what I know today about my addiction from getting sober. It’s when you get sober that you’re able to start looking back and can say, “Whoa, that wasn’t right,” or “I had a trend in xbehavior or the way I dealt with relationships.” It’s only in cleaning up that you can look back and start earmarking your maladjustments. While I was under the grips of alcohol, I had no clue anything was wrong. At the end, and by the end, in the early 2000s, it hurt a lot and I had a sense in my heart and in my head that something wasn’t right. But, that’s not enough to get most addicts to quit.

Photo: Matthew Glac

RM: How did addiction affect your family and personal life?

JS: It certainly leaves a lot of carnage. I would say that broken relationships were the norm, unhealthy relationships, most definitely. But the blessing is that at some point, by God’s grace only, I became aware that it was too much, and it was too wrong, and it hurt. And I was able to get to that point and that’s a blessing. All of the crap I had to go through, and the amends that I’ve had to make for my bad behavior, were really what it took to get me to where I am today. I am blessed in that sense.

RM: You had a Catholic school background so how had that faith played a role in your life up to that point?

JS: I had a problem in that all I had was belief in “a god” and that I believed that there was a god out there. I didn’t accept or understand, or as Beth Moore (Speaker, author & Bible teacher) would say, “I didn’t believe God.” There’s a difference between believing in a god and believing God. When I got sober, that thought really stood out as a very important question I needed to answer for myself. Do I just want to sit around and simply believe that there’s something out there, or do I actually believe that those promises are for me and that life could be for me?

RM: When was the defining moment when you knew you needed the Lord, that it was more than just knowing about him, but actually knowing him?

JS: I spent a couple of years in a 12-Step program, and I don’t know at what point, but somewhere along the way I realized that it was God who was working in my life and that was what got me sober. Maybe my whole way to where I was two years into sobriety was just God – God doing his wonderful, extraordinary work. It wasn’t me, or even those around me. It was him the whole time. That was part of me believing God. Because I got to the clearing where life finally didn’t hurt so badly, and who was there in the clearing, but God. So, that was a big moment.

RM: What specific changes did you feel you had to make to keep this new commitment?

JS: My most specific change has been a daily surrender. That’s what I need as a person, as a recovering addict. I need to tell my thick skull and my heart every day, “I’m his” and “Thank You, Lord.” I need for him to take me and guide me and let me serve him, if I can. I’m a bit stubborn.

RM: How accepting of your decision were the people in your life back then?

Which ones are still around today?

JS: Getting sober was very good for those around me [laughs]. They were very supportive. I found it more challenging to be bold in Christ than I found it to be bold in the announcement that I was recovering from my addiction.

RM: It takes courage to stand for your beliefs. What tools are important to help in living your faith? The 12-step recovery program provides tools for daily living. Do some of those tools overlap with the tools you use to live out your faith?

JS: Absolutely! It’s a spiritual program; any of the 12-step groups are spiritual programs. They’re also anonymous which leaves most people to not publically announce their participation. But the spiritual principles that I know today, that I learned partly through 12-step programs, are for everyone – for Christians, for people who are not addicted – because we’re all sinners, we’re all sick in some way. I learned that I had to go all the way back and look at the beginning; look at my whole life. I had a lot of signs that were out there, believe me, God was trying to hook me in long before I realized that it was him speaking to me.

RM: There are a lot of folks who aren’t familiar with the 12-steps. Are there a couple [steps] that really reinforce your faith that you can cite or describe?

JS: I’ll stay away from fully talking about the program, it’s not that the steps are secret, but the idea is, and it’s lasted 77 years, that would be like putting myself as being more important than the actual program – because no individual is stronger than the group of individuals trying to keep sober. But, I’ll say that what I’ve learned and the principles that Jesus has taught and the commandments that Moses brought - are the real deal! It’s the truth risenmagazine.com 19

and I shouldn’t be afraid of it. I think that [for] most of my early Christian upbringing, I was afraid of it.

RM: Forgiveness goes both ways; to forgive and to be forgiven. What does forgiveness look like for you?

JS: Forgiveness is God’s miracle on this earth. That could be me on the receiving end, the giving end, or just reading a story about someone else’s experience in forgiveness. It is a miracle if you can receive it, if you can believe it!

RM: If you could go back to the beginning of those Hootie days and give one piece of advice to Jim Sonefeld then, with the wisdom you have today, what would that be?

JS: I would say to myself, “Be more truthful.” I think I was often afraid of the truth and I would just go the other way.

RM: How were you inspired to follow the musical path you’re following today and development of your own band?

JS: I am following a calling to be a lead singer and to sing the praises of Jesus – and not necessarily by choice. My problem is I’m inspired because I’ve received God and I believe God, but I’m also somewhat troubled by the fact that I have to learn how to become a lead singer [laughs].

RM: How would you describe the contrast of being part of Hootie, to now performing songs of faith as the lead singer of your new band?

JS: Well the best thing is that I get to sing about the celebration of life now.

I wrote from the perspective of the pain of broken relationships and the pain of trying to do God’s job yourself. And now, I get to sit here and write songs where I know that I’m a little guy down here, God is a big thing out there and I finally get to write in that perspective. And that’s the proper perspective.

RM: Can you tell me about Found, your new CD? What was the inspiration for the title? Did you find God, or did God find you?

JS: He’s been waiting for me. I finally found enough courage to walk his walk. But the more I see of my life today, the more I realize how lost I was.

You can get lost subtly and you can get lost drastically, but I know today, I’m found!

RM: Your new song Calling All Prayers encourages us to pray for, and with, others. How important is prayer in your life?

JS: Oh, it was a big step for me to realize that I didn’t know how to pray. I was a forty-year-old man desperately asking God to guide me and I just didn’t know how to pray. I didn’t know how to sincerely give it to him. Prayer is just a foundation for myself and for my wife. I’ve found it very powerful to pray with my spouse. It was scary at first, but I’m learning.

RM: What has been the reaction of your former band members to the new direction you’ve taken in your personal life and your music?

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JS: Well I got a great compliment from our singer, Darius [Rucker], by text one day last spring saying he was just loving the new songs and so supportive.

It felt real good to hear that. I just try to lead by example. I can’t judge anybody else’s level of spirituality. I can pray for them. But it is real invigorating to hear from Darius, or Mark, or Dean that they’re diggin’ my new music.

RM: You’re also involved in a few non-musical projects. Can you tell us a little about your ministry in helping others with addiction?

JS: The way that I stay sober is by putting myself in the position of a servant.

So I look for others who need help staying sober, I share with them my experience, and working with them is what is going to help me stay sober today.

So that is very big. I got to speak at a prayer breakfast the other day for about 300 civic leaders and Christians in our community. I am glad that my story could be of some value, but it’s God’s story when it really comes down to it.

RM: Having come from that place, what advice would you give to someone struggling with addiction now?

JS: Be brave! Look in the mirror, try and be as truthful as you can at that moment, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Obviously our greatest fault as humans, and as men, specifically, is the fear of asking somebody else for help.

RM: How has what you’re doing now impacted your life – being a servant and helping others in their addiction?

JS: It allows me to feel useful, because when you’re addicted, you’re living a life of secrets and lies, and darkness – you don’t feel very useful. That helps strengthen me certainly every day.

RM: Where would you like to see yourself in ten years?

JS: Just learning, growing the way God would see fit and living in line with his will better than I have today.

RM: Do you have a favorite scripture, one that you’ve read during the most difficult moments or one that brings you joy, peace or assurance?

JS: There are certainly many, but I’ll give you one that I read yesterday from Colossians that applies to my walk not only to addiction to a substance, but also to my greater struggle to my addiction to idol worship. It’s not just alcohol; it’s being a warrior against material goods, lust, money, success. These are very human issues every day for me. So, I have to be strong in that. The scripture is Colossians 3:2, “Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.”

Just live in God’s joy. There is joy, laughter and love for you – and it comes through Christ. Go get him and have joy in doing it.

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An All-Star in Africa: Clayton & Ellen

An All-Star in Africa: Clayton & Ellen

Writer: Henry Ortlip

t a time when most kids are graduating college and entering the real world, Clayton Kershaw had become one of the best pitchers in baseball. At a mere 24 years old he’s already won the Pitching Triple Crown, Golden Glove, and the prestigious Cy Young Award, plus he’s a two-time National League All-Star. Being a talented left-handed pitcher, and playing for the Los Angeles Dodgers, has many comparing him to the likes of Sandy Koufax. But Kershaw’s abilities don’t stop off the field. He recently wrote a book with his wife highlighting the starting of an orphanage in Zambia and their journey together. Risen sat down with the Major Leaguer and his wife Ellen, to talk about his career, God’s place in baseball and beyond, and their heart for the kids overseas.

hey were mesmerized, not only by a large exclusively Risen Magazine in San Diego, California whiteInterviewed man being infor their territory, but also Risen Magazine: At a young age you showed promising ability, how serious RM: What sacrifices were needed an elite ballplayer in high hey were mesmerized, by tobefore. abecomelarge because they had never not seen aonly baseball did you take baseball growing up? school?

white man being in their territory, but also because they had never seen a baseball before.

Clayton Kershaw: I was an only child and my dad played catch with me a lot. I enjoyed playing and I love to play baseball. I played all the sports growing up and they were equally important to me, but once I got to high school I start focusing on baseball. I think it was a matter of not being good at any of the other sports, so I just started focusing on baseball.

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CK: I think a lot of people made sacrifices for me. My mom was driving around to Timbuktu letting me play baseball in the summers. There was a lot of time, and a lot of practice. But that’s part of doing what you’re doing.

I really love baseball and feel pretty blessed to get to do it everyday. It was more fun than sacrifice.

RM: You were in a great position coming out of high school, but it’s a layton was kind of in his using toughelement question, go pro or go to college? his What influenced you to make your unique ability to glorify decision? the Lord over there.

CK: Well the short answer would be money. The financial relief was a huge

RM: At what point did you realize your arm was a talent? And was pitching always your preferred position?

CK: I love to hit and play first base. I got to do those when I didn’t pitch. I knew I was okay at pitching, but I think it was my junior year of high school when colleges really started to take a look at me. I thought I might be able to play baseball past high school and by my senior year, I thought I might be able to do this as a job.

blessing to my mom and me, and that was kind of what made it an easy decision for us. (Clayton turned down a scholarship at Texas A&M to sign with the Dodgers in 2006, with a bonus estimated at $2.3 million.)

layton was kind of in his element using his

risenmagazine.com 23

RM: Looking back at the decision to go pro, how do you feel you handled the pressure, and the paycheck, that comes with being in the majors?

CK: I don’t think it really affected me. It definitely gave my family and myself some security and relief, which was great, but other than that it didn’t really mean much.

RM: Describe the feeling of your first game as a Dodger?

CK: It was awesome. Walking out for the first time was definitely a little

RM: Do you pray before games when you pitch?

CK: I say a real simple prayer every time I get on the field. I say, “God, whatever your will is, let it be done here.” And that’s it. I don’t pray for a win or anything. I just want to glorify the Lord out there. That’s the only prayer for me.

RM: Moving off the field, talk about your relationship with your wife.

When did you meet Ellen? And at what point did she become the one in your mind?

hey were mesmerized, not only by a large white man being in their territory, but also because they had never seen a baseball before. nerve-racking but I had a lot of fun. And I had a lot of family there, it was awesome.

RM: How does that compare to now when you take the mound?

CK: Similar. I still get the butterflies in my stomach every time I pitch. But I think now I’m a little more comfortable and understand what to expect when I’m out there. I’m just a little bit more prepared now.

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CK: Ellen and I started dating our freshman year of high school. I think for us we were just more of friends, and then started dating. It kind of stayed that way through high school. I would say we got closer when she went to college and I stared playing professionally. We both kind of figured out stuff on our own. I think that really helped our relationship now. As for when she became the one? I really don’t know. I guess somewhere late in high school, or early college.

layton was kind of in his element using his unique ability to glorify the Lord over there.

RM: In a relatively short amount of time you’ve achieved so much including the Cy Young award last year (2011). How do you hope your career looks moving forward?

CK: I hope we win. I think that’s any baseball player’s goal. No one wants to be sitting at home watching the post season. I want to win as team. That’s the only goal I ever set for myself… just to win.

RM: It’s evident each year you get better and better. What’s your recipe for continued improvement and growth?

CK: No recipe, I think it’s just keep working as hard as you possibly can and don’t become stagnant. If you don’t get better, you’re getting worse. Try to stay at that level of work ethic which got you there and continue to work on that constantly, day in and day out.

RM: Baseball is a career, like for many others who may be a dentist or lawyer or schoolteacher, but with pro sports it seems so many other factors blur into one’s mindset. How do you view baseball in your life?

CK: It is just a really, really fun job. Sure there is some extra pressure at times, but it’s such a fun thing to get to do everyday. I definitely don’t take that for granted.

RM: Do you think there is a place for God in baseball?

CK: Absolutely. I think there is a place for God everywhere.

RM: What does your faith look like?

CK: The ultimate goal is to try and fit Jesus into every part of my life. I think that is a good basis to put Jesus in everything you’re doing instead of just making him one part of your life. I’m on the baseball field 10 hours a day… so if you just go by time management, baseball is the biggest priority in my life. I think if you put Jesus in the center of everything that you’re doing, he will get the glory and in turn you will feel a lot more centered in your own life too.

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RM: Ellen, at what point did Clayton become the one for you?

Ellen Kershaw: I think our relationship was more of a friendship like Clayton said. We really had to work on our relationship when I was in college and he was in the minor leagues. I think we both realized it was definitely worth making an effort and towards the end of my college career, we both realized our lives were so much better when we were together than when we were apart. We could accomplish so much more; with my passion for Africa and Clayton heading into his career in baseball, it felt like the Lord was up to something pretty cool with both of our passions.

RM: Clayton’s passion in high school was baseball; your passion was Africa… how did these different interests come together?

EK: During college. I was kind of jumping in and out of his baseball life, getting to come visit him on weekends, or just hanging out. When we got married it was very important for me that Clayton understand and see first hand my passion for Africa. I think the perfect picture of it was when we were in Africa and about every night Clayton would go on the dirt outside the complex we were staying in and throw a baseball with the kids. I remember such a vivid picture of the sun setting and Clayton throwing [the ball] to this other American on our team… just seeing all these little Zambian children lining the side of the dirt road to watch him throw. They were mesmerized, not only by a large white man being in their territory, but also because they had never seen a baseball before. Clayton started playing catch with the kids and teaching them how to throw and wear a glove. For me that was kind of an Ahha! moment where I felt like the Lord is up to something really cool by connecting our two passions. Clayton was kind of in his element using his unique ability to glorify the Lord over there.

RM: Both of you have a heart for Africa and just over a year ago you started Hope’s Home in Zambia. How did this come about?

EK: I had met a girl named Hope years ago, and Clayton got to meet and

Ellen and Clayton Kershaw in Zambia risenmagazine.com 25

An All-Star in Africa: Clayton & Ellen

hey were mesmerized, not only by a large white man being in their territory, but also because they had never seen a baseball before.

c

layton was kind of in his element using his unique ability to glorify the Lord over there.

get to know her on these past couple trips. We had been fostering her and it’s been a huge blessing in our lives to see the growth in her life. To see what can happen when you provide a child with education, medicine, and the food that they need. Over the course of our visits, I think we continued to see that something very important was missing in her life and that was a home to go to at night, and parents that would love and nurture her and empower her to be the chance her country needs, and to be whoever she wants to be and reach her potential. And so for Clayton and I, it was a pretty simple natural commitment that the Lord was leading us to. We needed to build a home for kids where they could really feel loved and nurtured and could reach their potential. We came home [from that trip] and it was Clayton’s idea to do “Strike-out to Serve”. He wanted to donate $100 for every strike-out he made towards this project of building Hope’s Home. That’s kind of how it all started.

RM: There are many more great stories and insight into your trip in the recent book you both wrote called, Arise – what made you want to put your experiences on paper?

EK: I don’t think it was anything we expected to do. At our age we didn’t really feel like we had enough life experience to be able to help others. It really 26 Risen Magazine

was just an opportunity that presented itself and we were hesitant to jump into it at first, kind of seeing our inadequacy. But the Lord really moved us to realize that I don’t think we’d ever consider ourselves perfect or in a place to do this. Regal (book publisher) had contacted us about doing this and we thought about it, and prayed about it, and I guess we just realized that if we started writing maybe we would see the Lord’s blessing on it. And we definitely did. We got to see the Lord’s will played out, and it’s an incredible story of his faithfulness in both of our lives… growing up separately, then entering marriage, and beginning Kershaw’s Challenge.

RM: It’s great to see you use your fame as a platform to inspire youth and also by spreading the word about how God is making a difference in lives.

What do you hope readers take away from your book?

EK: We hope people take away that we all have a platform; we all have a really important purpose that the Lord puts in each of us. I think that it’s never too early to start speaking out and to start putting that into action.

Clayton and I are just like everyone else. I don’t think that we see ourselves any different from any other 24 or 25-year-old. I think that we both had a very normal upbringing and we were both raised in the church. I think we both have a personal faith. I think too many times we wait until we are

financially secure or we are career bound or excelling if different ways or until we figure out what our passion is. I also think we feel inadequate and that someone else will do a better job of it. What is important to take away, is that the Lord is the only way to be fulfilled.

RM: You’ve taken outreach a step further and actually donate $100 to the charity for every strike-out you pitch. How did you come up with this plan?

CK: It’s kind of a fun way for us to give to our own cause and also try and get some people involved. I don’t remember how I thought of it or why, I think it was kind of a fun idea and alternative instead of a normal donation.

RM: Hopefully, you will continue to have a long and successful baseball career. Since you’re involved in everything from books, to speaking, family and church, have you given thought to what life might look like after the game? Do you think you’ll always have a part of you connected to the baseball industry in some way or will you be ready for a complete new adventure?

CK: I have no idea. I don’t know. I love baseball right now and I’m going to try and play as long as I possibly can. Hopefully something will present itself after. Maybe God will keep me in baseball, or maybe I’ll need to find something else to keep busy, but right now I can honestly tell you I have no idea.

CK: I think there are a lot of people out there that have tons and tons of wealth and positions and they aren’t very happy. In going to Zambia, the people just have their basic needs met and they are the happiest, most joyful culture that I’ve ever come across. And you start thinking to yourself, “Why is that?” I think faith is at the center. Not even faith, Jesus is at the center of that. I think he can fulfill you no matter what your circumstances are and what you have and what you don’t have. All the other stuff is great if you treat it the right way, but I think Jesus is the ultimate fulfiller in anybody.

RM: Do you as a couple want to have your own children? Maybe adoption?

CK: I’ll let Ellen answer that one.

EK: [Laughter] I don’t know, we have thought of that a little bit. We are so happy with where we are right now, but I think anything is possible. I think up until now the Lord has been really faithful about revealing to us what the next step is, so I am confident he will continue to do so in our lives, whether that’s with our own children or adopting.

RM: Are there any other hobbies or interests you have?

CK: I’m a great ping-pong player, humility aside. For hobbies, I hang out with my buddies and that’s really about it.

RM: When people look at your life many probably they think you have it all – pro athlete, loving wife, solid faith and direction – and let’s be real, you do. When you look at your life, what fulfills you? And what advice would you share to others on the idea of having it all? risenmagazine.com 27

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From Seinfeld, Success & Seeking His Father’s Approval to Three Fishermen and Life-Transforming Faith:

Joe Kissack Went from Rock Bottom to Rock Solid Writer: Kelli Gillespie Photographer: Henry Ortlip

Standing on the red carpet at the Emmy Awards, one would think Hollywood executive Joe Kissack was living the American Dream. He had power, wealth, and a loving family while managing the domestic sales and marketing efforts for dozens of television shows and movies, including the multi-billion dollar assets of Seinfeld. But as many quickly learn in Hollywood, images can be deceitful. Masking emptiness and insecurities with alcohol and medications, it wasn’t until Kissack hit rock bottom and was hospitalized for his addictions and suicidal depression that he finally began to better understand his story – a story that includes a complete transformation and love for Jesus Christ, and a journey that miraculously intersects with three fishermen who were rescued after being adrift at sea for nine months. Risen talked with a very open Kissack about everything from the price of success, and the pain of seeking a father’s approval, to a praying wife, an unshakable faith, and the victory in knowing that circumstances don’t define one’s spiritual story.

Interviewed exclusively for Risen Magazine at Morgan Run Resort in Rancho Santa Fe, California

Risen Magazine: What was your childhood and family life like when you were growing up? Was working in Hollywood someday even on your radar?

Joe Kissack: It was loosely, and part of that was that my first medication was television. My first escape from the chaos in the house was in the Munsters, Gilligan’s Island and Hogan’s Heroes – those classic shows that used to run on WGN early in the afternoon. During the really, really rough times when you’re being threatened, either verbally or physically, that was kind of my happy place. It was the safe place in my mind that took me out of the moment of a beating or my parents screaming at each other. I could close that door and turn the TV up. And I was in that world instead of the reality that was going on in my house.

This really was interesting to me because when I started to get healthy, I hired a therapist and she had me write down every memory I had as a child – every single thing I could ever remember [chronologically]. We went through every single one of those memories and it was the healthiest thing I’ve probably ever done because once I got this junk out of me, I had distance from it. I encourage people to do this. I had distance from it and I had someone walking alongside me that could connect some of the dots on why things were the way that they were. It was the beginning of me understanding my own story. Then I dove deeper and deeper into that because I really wanted answers. How does a guy like me end up in this place where I am about to kill myself? It doesn’t make any sense. So we went through these memories and the saddest thing was, none of them were happy. There wasn’t one happy moment that jumped off the page or out of my memory. It made me angry and I had resentment over that, and I’ve really grown from that.

The dad of my best friend from home passed away and I had made a decision I was going to go to the funeral. I was flying there and I thought, “What if somebody asks me about Mr. Walker, what would I say?” And I started to think about him. And I started to laugh because this guy was just hilarious. I started writing stuff down and here’s what I realized, I did have happy childhood memories, they just weren’t at my house. They were across the street at my best friend’s house. After the funeral I went over to Tom’s [best friend] house and I said, “Mrs. Walker, I realized something flying up here. Do you know I was at your house almost every day for 13 years?” She said, “ Yea, I know.” I didn’t realize that’s where I escaped to. The process I’m going through now of understanding my story, of why I am the way I am, why I’m driven the way I’m driven, is more than just me and my linear timeline of my life. It goes back generations and it goes off of that grid into other people’s lives. And because some of those things that were so negative were so dominant, I forgot other things. All I really needed was a little reminder and it just brought this tremendous joy to me. I think with enough searching and understanding, people can actually find that if they look hard enough. It led me to the point where I started to understand other people’s stories in my family. And I don’t have all the facts about my dad, no one will ever know. He’s never told anyone what happened to him and what made him the kind of person that walked away from every member of the family with no interest in communicating with his children, and into a man who never gave up his love affair with alcohol, which ultimately destroyed our family.

I was the last one saying, “He’s our dad, we have to love him.” And my older siblings were like, “ You have no idea.” Because they had it worse than I did. risenmagazine.com 29

Barry and Ginny Thurston with Joe and Carmen Kissack

Healing is available and it doesn’t come through drinking more, and it doesn’t come through acting out, and it doesn’t come through all this stuff we use to medicate ourselves… it comes from The Healer [Jesus].

Even though I didn’t know what it was, and I had so much grace and mercy heaped on me, I started to say, “Oh my gosh, he doesn’t even know why he is the way he is.” It’s really not even his fault. He’s the product of an environment.

The only thing I had left to do was give grace. That’s when forgiveness came, the resentment left, and the anger was gone because I took the time to understand him better. It took the sting out of the more painful moments and the power that had over me for years.

RM: When you were younger, were you then fearful that you would turn into a version of your dad?

JK: Yes. We take these vows, you know how it goes, “I will never _________!”

I took the vows. I was a positive little guy. Mine were like, “I will always be successful. I will prove to him I am good enough even though I didn’t make all the free throws; even though I missed that last putt; even though I got a B.” Our gladiators today, aside from the football field, are people in business, that’s the new coliseum. So I set off on that track and television popped up. I could see myself becoming another version of him; that generational chain was just going to be passed down again. It creates self-loathing and confusion, 30 Risen Magazine

Joe, Courtney, Hannah, and Carmen Kissack

because you don’t want to be that, yet that’s what you are becoming. That is at the core of the reason I was so conflicted in my life. I thought that by achieving this stuff, by being successful, by proving myself, somehow I would get [my dad’s] approval, and all of those feelings would go away.

When I was in a group session in the hospital, my therapist used an example to show what we are trying to get, and what we expect, from a relationship with someone. She said, “Some of you are in a rose shop and they have flowers, but you need a gallon of milk. And they don’t have it. And they are never going to have it.

And you can’t get it there. First of all you have to understand that, someone can’t give away what they don’t have.

So you’ve got to figure out a way that you can somehow get close to that. Someone that can give what you need to you.” It’s why so many young women run into the arms of the first man. It why so many of us are attracted to things we think are going to satisfy us, because we couldn’t get it someplace else. But we still have this desire to get it. Ultimately, my desire was to get [my dad’s] approval. This is all in the subconscious of course. I’m never saying, “Dad, I’m going to get a Porsche and I’m going to show it to you, and then you’re going to approve of me, right?” No one has that on their goal sheet.

Four years ago, we did this series in church called Fight Club. And basically it said that you don’t get to choose your family, but those relationships are worth fighting for even though you know you’re going to lose. At the end of the series, Andy [Stanley, pastor] said, “Who are you going to call today?” I came out and one of my friends said, “Are you making the call today?” because they know my story. And I was like, “Okay, what’s another kick in the face.” You long for this approval and affection, it’s natural, and when you can’t get it, you want to keep trying, but it hurts so much you don’t want to

The Fishermen: Jesus, Joe, Lucil, and Salvador

do it anymore. You want to just say, “Well that’s never going to happen.” So I called him up. “Dad, we’re doing this thing and here’s what I would like for you to do. You’re coming [to visit] in a couple of weeks, would you think about what it would look like for me to be the son that you would want me to be? And can we talk about that when you get here?” And he says, “No. I’m not going to do that.”

I say, “What do you mean you’re not going to do that? Why won’t you do it?” He says, “I don’t want to do that. You have your life, I have my life, and we don’t need to talk about stuff like that.”

The kick was as hard as any one I’ve ever had before. I said, “I can’t do this anymore. It’s too painful for me to keep putting myself in this position.” I don’t candy coat this experience. I think it’s important for me to share the truth of the experience, but my intention is not to hurt anybody. My intention is that by sharing this experience, I can encourage people that have had a similar experience, yet never talked about it to anyone, to know they are not alone.

RM: What would you say to someone who is in a similar situation where they just try and try and try to get that approval, but it doesn’t come?

JK: During the time that I was turning into that person of my dad, my wife Carmen–who is the hero of all of this–kept praying and praying. She realized the issues I had weren’t her issues and that the issues my dad had, weren’t in turn my issues. And there is not much you can do to change the past, but you can understand it much, much better than you do. I promise you, if you’ll do the work to understand your story better, something happens. The power is released and God can heal anything. Healing is available and it doesn’t come through drinking more, and it doesn’t come through acting out, and it doesn’t come through all this stuff we use to medicate ourselves… it comes from The Healer [ Jesus]. I think it’s okay for a person to not have to go through that anymore, they can find healing and they don’t ever have to have that conversation [with dad, etc]. I have healing, and I’ve forgiven, but we’ve never had a conversation about it; it’s not necessary for me to do that.

RM: You mentioned the importance of having your wife Carmen praying for you through this… was she following God before you, or did the two of you grow together? Being married, what role did your faith play?

JK: Carmen grew into a really solid faith. She grew up Catholic and I wasn’t anything. I think especially for men, they either grow up in a family where you are exposed to faith from a very young age, or you’re in a family that are cultural Christians, or you’re not [exposed to God at all] and once you have a child, and you’re not in church, the next thing you have to do is go to church so mommy can have a day out. You’ve got to join a church for that.

We were in Dallas, and we lived by SMU [Southern Methodist University] and they had a Catholic campus ministry that was just across the way and Carmen said, “There’s the church. This is our front yard. We’re going.” My oldest daughter was six months old so I thought, “ Yea, okay I’ll go.” I had been to many Catholic churches, I just had no idea what was going on because it was up and down, and up, and there was no salsa with the chips, and I was like, “What is going on?” But there was this young priest and I felt like, “Oh my gosh, this guy is speaking directly to me.” So I went through RCIA, the adult education, and ended up joining the Catholic Church. And after that it was like, “Okay I did that. What else? Should we join an auto club too? Check that off the list.” [Laughter]

Carmen’s faith was growing and she was light years ahead of me, we move to Atlanta and she joins a Bible study with women. It was there her faith started to exponentially explode. She’s turbo-charged and going deeper and deeper. I’m oblivious to it, but I go to church because she wants me to, and it’s the right thing to do, and every once in a while during a business conversation when someone says, “What church do you go to?” I say, “Oh we go to Holy Spirit, yea.”

RM: So when did your faith become more than obligation, and something that fully transformed you?

JK: After I hit rock bottom. My surrender, in a moment, was cowardly. I risenmagazine.com 31

just wanted out of the pain. And the surrender by the way was, “Please just let me die.” This was the night before I went into rehab; everything changed for me that night in an instantaneous and binary moment where I became a different person from the inside out. I had no idea what had happened. I didn’t know anyone this had happened to. I knew I had changed because it manifested itself very obviously to me. The addiction and compulsions I had were instantly taken from me. The thing that twisted in my stomach every day as I got out of bed worried about doom and gloom…was gone. The lump in my throat was gone. And I knew it; I could feel it. I was like, “What is this? How is this even possible?” Then it showed up in other places. One of

within that I found ways to go deeper and deeper and deeper into my faith.

I’ll admit, mostly with new Christians, for a time it was Joe pontificating all of his knowledge, which was about six months old, about God and the universe. I realized as much as I wanted to instantaneously pull [my kids] into what my new world was; that was unrealistic. I had lived in a family line that I could go back to the people that I actually knew, and I’m pretty sure they were misled. My father was misled, and at that time, I had been misled for 99 percent of my life. My children lived half of their lives with a father that was misled – in the most critical years for them. So generationally, my first real shot are my children’s children, to start from the very beginning of their lives, because I think that’s how long it takes to turn this stuff around.

I think I realized with a shift in culture from my generation, to my children’s generation (who are now in their 20s), is that there is so much noise in their lives, they cannot hear and distinguish between what’s important and what’s not. And they really have a difficult time hearing what you say. So I made a decision when I was cutting the grass one day…it’s where I do all my heavy thinking. Because it’s just one line out, and one line back and it’s like, “I’ve made a pattern!” Or like Tom Hank’s in Castaway, “I made fire!” It’s one of my simple pleasures in life; I still mow my own grass. I volunteer when I stay with people to cut their grass. And if they have a riding mower, I will pay them. “I will pay you twenty bucks to let me cut your grass.” [Laughter]. So I’m mowing the lawn and I realize if I’m really going to leave the legacy I’m hoping for my children, if I can help them understand how to make better decisions in their life so they will have fewer regrets, the only way for me to do that within the culture we live in, is model that for them. I made a decision that whatever I’m going to do; I know they are watching.

I knew I had changed because it manifested itself very obviously to me.

The addiction and compulsions I had were instantly taken from me. the other things I noticed that happened was I used to love to swear. We would have swearing contests to see if we could do an entire paragraph with just swear words and see if it could make sense. That was my creative, back then. How silly is that? And I didn’t do that anymore; it was gone. And it wasn’t me. I wasn’t like, “Okay, I’m not going to swear anymore.” It just didn’t come out of me anymore.

RM: Was the transformation frightening to you? Were you excited?

JK: No. I was very excited because I was filled with this unbelievable peace and joy. It was confusing because it didn’t make any sense for me to feel this way because I was getting ready to check into the cuckoo’s nest. I thought, “How can I be filled with this peace? My life is a wreck.” I was sure I would get fired when I went back to work because you don’t get to be that guy anymore when you go to the loony bin; you become that other guy now. It was like, “My life is so good and I can’t wait to go to this hospital everyday.”

After this, everything changed for me; from wanting to serve people, to obeying the traffic laws. It was very strange. I had a 911 Cabriolet and went 120 mph every single day to work, and all of a sudden now I’m going 55 mph in this car and people are looking over at me in the right lane saying, “Is your car broken?” I just thought it was weird and I didn’t understand what it was until I started going to Buckhead church, which is a part of North Point – this is almost 10 years ago – and Andy Stanley did this one message where he talked about the Holy Spirit. And he talked about this thing called the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. And he talked about people that he had counseled that had serious issues and then when they had an experience like this, they quit drinking, they didn’t go to the same places, they didn’t hang out with the same people, they quit smoking, they quit this, they quit that… and I was sitting in the front row thinking, “Oh my gosh, this guy is reading the email of my brain.” And it clicked, “Was that an indwelling of the Holy Spirit?” That’s what it had to be, there was no other explanation for it.

Then I wanted to know everything I could find out about God. Everything.

And The Purpose Driven Life was the first book that I picked up. I just said yes to that and that is when I quit working and started to get really healthy.

I ended up joining that church, and within that I found a group of men, and 32 Risen Magazine

RM: In that process what specific instances occurred where you know that they were watching and it was actually changing their perceptions?

JK: One day I walked into the bank and said, “I have to give you my car today.”

And you know what [the bank officer] said, “It’s happening a lot right now.”

And you know what, the world didn’t end because my car got repossessed.

The world didn’t end because I got a letter from the IRS that said, “This is the amount of money you owe us and we have to talk to you.” And my kids have seen all this. I’m really, really thankful for the rough circumstances and for them to be able to see it at a time where it’s just the beginning of the different storms that they are going to face in their lives, and probably won’t be the last for us. During this time of all the accounts draining, my friends would say, “I still haven’t figured you out, your financial life is a disaster, but you’d never know it by talking to you.” And I say, “It’s because that’s not what I depend on anymore. I don’t have to worry about that anymore because none of it was mine to begin with.” God’s big enough that if he wants to drop a bunch of money on us, he can do that. All those things are circumstances, and they don’t define who we are.

My oldest daughter especially was watching. She wrote a scholarship letter when she was applying for college expressing how inspired she was that her dad, who used to be this guy, is now this guy trying to tell a story of faith and survival. Carmen and I saw this letter and just balled like babies because I said, “Honey, she’s seen it. She’s been watching for the last three to four years. She saw our faith. She saw the difficult times and she saw us never waver from our faith in all of this.” Now, she’s never said this to us, even to this day.

It’s against the law for children to tell their parents they appreciate them.

She’s seen God’s provision in ways that I think are miraculous.

RM: That’s a stark contrast from when at one point, by worldly standards, you did have it all; top-level exec at Sony, money, fame, power. Many people think if they have any combination of this, they will be happy. How did you feel at the top?

JK: I had everything and I was still so unhappy. The core of it was I would ask myself, “Why couldn’t I be happy if I had all of this stuff ?” That is part of the reason why I felt the need to medicate the discomfort and horrible feeling inside me. This eventually made me become an addict. I just wanted to feel normal. Even when I quit drinking, I had more clarity, but the feelings didn’t go away. I was just in a lot of pain but sober. I went to 12-step programs and I stuck with what they said I should be doing. It was really interesting for me in the 12-step program because it was three years after I stopped drinking that I had this spiritual transformation. And there is a step in there that says this will happen to you, but until it happens to you, you don’t even know what that means. And when it happens to you, you’re like, “Oh my gosh, it’s happened to me.” I’d been to all kinds of meetings including atheist meetings and thinking, “Oh my gosh, these are just angry sober people.” Because where is the healing going to come from? But you don’t realize what you don’t know about stuff like that. I’m lucky because at a relatively young age I had worldly success, and then realized it’s not the answer. A lot of people, who aren’t going to achieve that, don’t know that it’s not the answer. And they won’t know it’s not the answer until they achieve it and realize it’s not the answer.

And all the time and energy it takes to do that is exhausting and consuming. But I’m a typical guy, a typical knucklehead, you could have told me the truth about what that is and I don’t think I would’ve been able to hear it.

I think what has happened to our culture, and our country, is that we have been sucked into the twisting of the American Dream. The American

Dream was a post-World War phenomenon that said we conquered, we’re back, let’s get our country healthy, and there was this unity. This is really simplifying it, but Madison Avenue got ahold of this idea of the American Dream, which was supposed to be about hope, growth, faith and family and they sold it to us on a billboard on the edge of town that has a mom and a dad, a little boy, a little girl, a golden retriever, a Buick convertible and a house in a place called Pleasantville.

So we went out there and did that generally speaking as a culture. We achieved the American Dream, and it wasn’t enough. We needed the bigger house. We needed the second house. We needed to fill the house. And it got fueled and fueled and fueled until at some point, it turned into this insidious obsession of us consuming. The way our country runs, I can’t think of another single thing that’s more universal or more prevalent than that. It’s why the condition of the country, is the condition of the country. It’s why so many people have financial issues. It’s the cause of relational issues. It teaches our children the wrong values. We have bought into the lie that if you just get these things, you’ve made it. That all happened for me and there is no making it. I’m blessed that I’ve been through what I’ve been through.

Whether I have money, or don’t have money has nothing to do with my spiritual condition. What I have learned is that I’m never more fulfilled, happier, and satisfied, than when I’m serving people; when I’m leveraging whatever it is that I have for other people.

RM: Let’s talk about your book The Fourth Fisherman. How did the intertwining of your story with these fishermen come about?

JK: It wasn’t my idea. They are part of my story, but I’m not part of their story. After their rescue I am, but I wasn’t on the boat with them. Something grabbed me with this; it chose me. I couldn’t shake it; I tried to. I walked away. When you think something is for you, say no to it and put it aside. And if it doesn’t come back, it’s probably not for you. But when risenmagazine.com 33

L to R: Lucio Rendon, Panchita Rendon, and Joe Kissack

If you don’t have peace when you’re starting out with something, don’t think it’s magically going to change just because you made the decision to go do it. it continues to come back maybe that is where you’re supposed to be. And then I always ask, “Do you have peace about this?” If you don’t have peace when you’re starting out with something, don’t think it’s magically going to change just because you made the decision to go do it. I didn’t choose it, but I did it anyway. My faith deepened so much the first day I was in Mexico because of those coincidences that happened, that I thought were coincidences, but were eventually revealed to me as being led, one step at a time without knowing the next step. I don’t know how many times it had to happen until I got it.

When I came back, [to the states] I had the details and major beats of what I thought the fishermen’s story was. I met with a lot of people in the movie business, which I sought first because I thought I knew people there and it would be easier. But, I had people tell me everything from, “We don’t believe it,” to “That’s not the story I would tell.” Then I was in meetings with people I had worked with before and I was telling them the story of the fishermen and I got to the point about telling how they survived which was on turtle blood and their faith in God, and they would say, “Okay, yeah, what else?” I said, “Do you realize this was almost a year, and almost the entire Pacific Ocean? 6,000 miles in a boat smaller than your office, that’s not enough?”

And one of the people said, “Joe, how did you get this story? I mean, the last time I saw you, you were selling Seinfeld [into syndication]. Why do you have this story?” And I said, “Well that’s another story. That’s my story and I hope to be able to do a book about that someday. Here’s what’s happened since I’ve seen you last.” And one of the guys, who I think was head of creative, said, “Oh my 34 Risen Magazine

gosh, that’s Act 2.” And I said, “What does that even mean?” He said, “It means these two stories go together. Your story and what you were going through, contrasted with their story, is a great mix.” They actually made me an offer, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do at the time.

Some guys that I knew asked me to come share my story at a Sunday school group, and it was the first time I told any of it publicly.

And it took three hours. When I finished someone came up to me afterwards and said, “I’ve been sitting in the back of the room arguing with God on whether I was going to say anything to you, and I have obviously lost that battle. But I’m a Ph.D. candidate in story structure and rhetoric and you’re telling the story wrong.” The woman said, “The fisherman weren’t lost. They look like they are lost, but they have their faith. You’re the one that was lost, but you didn’t look like you were lost.”

I kept trying to give the story to professionals [to develop] and I finally said, “Okay God, are you trying to say you want me to do this?

You want me to write this? That makes no sense.” And I kind of sat on that and then decided to give it a try. When you do things Jesus’ way, you get Jesus-sized results, when you do things your way, you get you-sized results.

RM: You did more than give it a try, your book is incredible and the way the stories are juxtaposed is so impactful. And now turning that into a movie, where does the script stand?

JK: It’s just kind of been set aside and every once in awhile I’ll pray, “ You know God, if you ever wanted to do that movie I don’t have to be a part of it, but I sure would like to be. But I’m okay if not.

I just want it to be whatever you want it and need it to be.” I’m just trying not to screw that up. I’m human and that’s what we do, we screw things up because we think we know better. I got traction on the book and I said, “Look God, it seems like you’re blessing this, you want me to focus on this and I’m sure you’ll let me know if you want me to be doing something else.” My filters have become crystal clear and I don’t need to be doing anything that doesn’t honor God, or for my work, isn’t Kingdom-building. If it doesn’t go through those two filters with the answers of yes, and yes, then I have no business doing it.

None. And it makes it easier for me.

This book, this movie, they aren’t mine. These are God stories. Each of us gets a choice to either add value, or extract value. That’s kind of our whole life question, am I adding value or am I extracting value? For the longest time I was all about extracting value, mostly for myself, and now I try to figure out how can I add value. It’s been such an amazing journey and thrill for me. I looked at this career I had as a waste, until now I see, not only was it not a waste, it’s been absolutely necessary and all the dots that have ever connected in my life leading up to the very moments that I’m in, all can have value and God can make them what he wants them to be. To me, that’s a miracle.

Photo:Shana Siler

Standing Up and Giving Back: Pro Stand Up Paddleboarder

Gillian Gibree Writer: Mei Ling Starkey

hen Pro Stand Up Paddleboarder (SUP) Gillian Gibree is not winning competitions, she can still be found in the water giving back to others. From helping with surf camps to teaching water safety instruction, her passion is inspiring others to do what they love and give back to the community. Even though she has several SUP titles to her name, Gibree stays grounded by taking the focus off herself and using SUP to raise awareness for other organizations. Risen sat down with her to talk about how she got started in her career, what she has learned from her mistakes, and why she enjoys helping others.

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Interviewed Exclusively for Risen Magazine in San Diego, California

Risen Magazine: You grew up in Massachusetts out in the country and played softball in college. How did you start doing Stand Up Paddleboarding?

Gillian Gibree: I started out lifeguarding in Cape Cod and did it throughout college. I was also a competitive swimmer. As a lifeguard, you get into beach running, prone paddling, and other water sports because everyone that you work with loves the ocean. You all live together in these townhomes right near the beach. So in the morning we would get up, go surfing together, train for work, go to work, then go surf or hang out at the beach.

That is what really got me into the whole beach lifestyle fitness scene full time. After college, I lifeguarded in New Zealand. I wanted to try lifeguarding in one of the most difficult places in the world. It was really challenging and I wanted to experience a different culture. Then I moved to San Diego and things transitioned from there with competing as a professional athlete and teaching SUP fitness.

RM: Wow! You moved to New Zealand to experience some of the toughest lifeguarding. What was the most challenging thing that you faced?

GG: Their season is opposite of ours, so our winter is their summer. The hardest thing I had to do was a body recovery on Christmas day. In the United States, you have towers spread out across the beach and everything is pretty condensed. When you call for a rescue, ten fire trucks come. However, in New Zealand, there is a lot of rugged coastline and less lifeguards and rescue teams. There is a lot more going on and a lot more responsibility. It was definitely challenging. Even though I considered myself a water person, it taught me a lot. It also taught me a lot about water safety.

RM: How have you taken that experience and translated it to your career?

GG: I have had to make rescues in crazy rips and surf and in dangerous conditions. It made me more comfortable in the ocean. Now I am confident when I am competing in races where you have to go in and out through the surf. In Hawaii, we will be in these down winders out in the middle of the ocean and the winds are 35+ mph. I now feel more confident being in water

and those types of conditions. I also have the opportunity to teach certification to other people who want to teach SUP yoga. The biggest thing that they are lacking is water safety skills. Many teachers think that SUP is very easy and it is, but when you are bringing 10-20 people out in the water and the winds pick up without notice, you have to know what to do. I try and teach the instructors what to do in emergency situations.

RM: How do people view SUP as compared to surfing?

GG: There is some tension, but some of the best surfers in the world are hooked on SUP. The guys don’t even want to look back to surfing. You have guys like Gerry Lopez, Laird Hamilton, and Dave Kalama some of these guys have been charging on short and long board for years. They really have embraced this whole new lifestyle. SUP is more diverse than just surfing.

Surfing is about two percent of the industry as a whole. SUP is recreational and really uniting because a lot of people can do it. Families or a group of friends can do it together. Whereas, surfing is really high impact and you have to be a pretty decent athlete or you will get drilled into the sand. SUP is more put-the-board-in-the-water and go. Sometimes there is tension in the water in the line up when people are trying to catch a wave. But it stems more from people who don’t know the rules of the water or are trying to snag all the waves. Because SUP is not restricted to the ocean, it is becoming more widespread. People are able to do it on lakes and rivers. People are also doing white water SUP and fitness classes.

RM: You recently mastered a brand new SUP race format to win the elite “Survivor SUP” at the Quiksilver Waterman Collection Waikiki Paddle Festival. How did you prepare for a race that hadn’t existed before?

GG: It was sprint in and out with a lot of buoy turns. It was similar to what I have done before at the Battle of Paddle race. The Battle of Paddle is the biggest race in SUP. Both Quicksilver and Battle of Paddle are very similar to lifeguard competitions. You sprint, you have your heat and then you get ready for the next sprint. Doing a lot of lifeguard competitions helped prepare me for that race. risenmagazine.com 37

Photo: Chris Klau Photo:Shana Siler

It is so touching to hear all the amazing things that people are doing and using SUP as a platform to do it.

The part that was completely different was that from when the first person finishes, you only have five minutes to recover before you have to race again. You can’t just slack and say, “Oh I made my heat,” because then you would have less rest. You have to strategize, “Do I want more rest between races and push myself harder during the race?” or, “Do I sit back, not exert myself and have less rest?” There was a lot of strategizing. Mid-way through the day, I decided that I didn’t need to win every heat, but just do well and then go all out when the final came. Sprints are fun for me because some of the other competitions are five or six miles, whereas Quicksilver is more like one-mile formats, which I do better at given my swimming and softball background. I’m used to sprint swimming and stealing bases. That is an advantage for me as compared to other SUP competitors who are better at distance and enjoy doing 30-mile competitions.

RM: It’s really interesting to hear how the different sports you played and experiences you had have helped you in your SUP career. What advice do you have for readers who are often told to focus on one activity so that they can become proficient at it?

GG: Try as many different things as possible. Organized sports were great for me growing up. Once I got to college, I played softball and realized that it wasn’t for me. I didn’t like getting screamed at by a coach three times a day or having my whole schedule controlled. With SUP, my schedule is a lot more flexible. I am able to train and still work. Find what works for you and what sports you like. Some people need structure; others need to be outdoors with nature. Try everything, see what resonates with you and then go for it!

RM: You paddled 36 miles across the Cape Cod Bay to raise money for the Boston Children’s Hospital. How did you decide to be a part of that event, 38 Risen Magazine

because it sounds like you have a pretty busy schedule?

GG: It’s a really special event to me. It’s nice to be able to give something back that’s not, “Hey look at me.

I just won a race.” It does something for people that need the extra help. Everything about that event is special to me - the location, the people, and the cause. I grew up in Cape Cod. I do the race with my friends and then at the end I get to see my family. They don’t always get to see my races. Thirty-six miles is a long way for an athlete and a lot of these people that do this race are not athletes, they’re full-time working people. They don’t even have professional race boards. They do the race on their beginner boards, but they do it because they are passionate about the cause and giving back. I was shocked by their dedication and everyone worked hard to raise money for the cause. The creator of the foundation was there as well. It meant a lot to me to be a part of that event.

RM: Why is it important for you to give back to the community?

GG: It makes you feel good. I love being able to use my passion to be able to help other people. Everyone should do that in life. Once you find what you love, you should share it and help other people. In SUP, it is amazing to see how many people are doing that. People are doing distance paddles to raise money for breast cancer. It is so touching to hear all the amazing things that people are doing and using SUP as a platform to do it. There is a woman who paddled down a dangerous river in India to raise money for young girls who have cervical cancer. For me, it is great to be a part of it. One of my sponsors has a non-profit called Surfers Healing. The founder has an autistic son and started the organization. They do surf camps all over the country for autistic children. I got to be a part of that this summer which was really special. There is something about the water that calms the children. There is something about the ocean that is healing to them. It was really great to get

Photo: Shana Siler Photo: Senses Reeled Photography

to be a part of that this year and I hope I get to do more camps next year. It is cool to work alongside other athletes who are giving back as well.

RM: How do you physically and mentally prepare for your competitions?

You talked about one-mile sprints and 36-mile paddles, which require completely different ways of conditioning.

GG: My training is so diverse as compared to an Olympic sprint runner who will do one specific race. With SUP, there are so many different types of races. I do distance, sprint, and there are different types of water such as river and ocean, which affect the race as well. I have to maintain overall fitness. I do a lot of running and SUP surfing. I do interval workouts three times a week, which is an hour to an hour-and-a-half on flat water going all out. Once a week, putting in an eight to ten mile distance paddle. In the spring, it is easy for me to keep a regimented schedule. In the summer, when I am competing it is harder because I am traveling. I do yoga sculpt to build my core strength and get some cross training too. In the winter, I get to do more relaxing yoga. I do a lot of pool swimming for my prone paddle races. SUP athletes are very diverse. Many come from an outrigger or kayak background. Even though SUP is relatively new as a recognized sport, the athletes are not new to water sports. One just got an Olympic gold this summer in kayaking, another is an Iron Woman athlete, and another is an Olympic trial swimmer. The competitors have diverse backgrounds, so our training has to be very diverse.

RM: In the ocean, it is all about picking the right wave. Pick the right wave and its smooth sailing, pick the wrong wave and it could wipe you out.

Looking back on your life, how have you seen that play out?

GG: Sometimes you do end up picking the wrong wave and you learn from it. All of this didn’t happen overnight. There are times where I picked the wrong wave, I learned from it and got back out there. People look at what I am doing now and they get really excited, but what they don’t realize is that there is a lot of behind-the-scenes work. It took me three years to balance being a professional athlete and owning my own business. There are a lot of learning experiences, but you grow by learning from your mistakes. As long as you have that end goal, you keep going forward. You have to stay focused

and not allow things to set you back. Whatever you are doing, there are always going to be those waves or things that set you back, but you have to keep things in perspective and keep going forward. Two of the people that inspire me are Jeremy McGee and Jeff Denholm. Jeremy was in a terrible motorcycle accident and now he can’t feel from his waist down. He straps himself to a surfboard and goes out with a kayak paddle. Someone watches him, but he is more fired up than ever before. He also skis and drops into these back country ski locations to inspire people. Jeff had his arm ripped off in a fishing accident. He attaches a prosthetic arm and does a 32-mile paddle out in the middle of the ocean. That puts things into perspective for me.

RM: Where would you say you are at on your spiritual journey?

GG: I grew up Christian going to church every week with my family. Doing what I do makes me thankful for every single day. I feel extremely spiritual when I am out in the water. Being around dolphins, seals, and sunsets is very spiritual for me. I have so much appreciation for it. It gives me gratitude for everything I get to do. Being able to give back with SUP has helped me to take the focus off me and put it back on others.

RM: You are one of the pioneers for women in SUP. What type of legacy do you want to leave?

GG: It encourages me to hear stories from others who are being impacted by what I do. Because so many people are able to do the sport, I get to hear stories from people from all different walks of life. There was a woman who had breast cancer and had a double mastectomy. She said SUP yoga helped her to get through it. For many women, SUP is inspiring. Sometimes I feel silly for posting a video, but then I hear feedback from a woman that said she watched it and it helped her in her healing process. I want to inspire women to live healthier lives. I also want to help certify others so that they can help train others showing women that they can do anything. A lot of women fear the ocean, but this sport gives women confidence. I want what I do to inspire others.

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40 Risen Magazine

Transforming the way you see the week so that…

Writer: Nikki Jimenez

o many, weekends are the best days of the week, held far superior to any others, particularly in contrast to Mondays. But to others, like Matt Emerzian, Mondays are the best days – because Mondays are days of intentional service. It wasn’t always like that for Emerzian however, working in the entertainment music industry where the nights ran long and the alcohol, smoking, and partying overflowed. Surprisingly, Mondays were marked by anxiety and suicidal thoughts until it was introduced to him that he matters, that every Monday matters. The result is a non-profit organization that fuels a movement created to include everyone.

Interviewed Exclusively for Risen Magazine in San Diego, California

Risen Magazine: Before Every Monday Matters was even a thought, you were in a very different place, where did your journey start?

Matt Emerzian: After getting my MBA from UCLA, I was hanging out with a friend who was in a band signed to Sony Records. We were sitting around on a Monday night, watching Monday Night Football, drinking beer, eating pizza, and smoking weed. In this really altered moment he said, “ You know Matt, you just got your MBA from a top 10 business school so you must know how to manage people, right?” And I said, “ Yeah, that’s exactly what they taught us.” We pulled out a pizza napkin and made an official contract on a napkin, marking the first night of a 10-year career in the music business. So after managing artists in Los Angeles, I was eventually hired by Robert Kardashian who owned a major music marketing company where [his daughters] Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney all ran the front office. I was still working with local bands but that [opened doors] to working on projects with U2, Coldplay, Tim McGraw, Avril Lavigne, Usher, and the Black Eyed Peas.

RM: Sounds like quite the life! What changed?

ME: I’m working my butt off during the day and there’s a lot of going out at night, wining and dining. With that lifestyle comes partying, drinking, and for me, smoking marijuana—no other drugs—but also objectifying women.

When you’re in it, it’s fantastic. But then, I woke up on a Monday morning one day to get ready for work and I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to the doctor and they did tests and said, “Listen, you’re not having a heart attack. You’re just having a really strong panic attack. Go home and rest and you’ll feel better.” I went home but it didn’t get better, it got worse. It turned into chronic anxiety disorder, 24/7. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t drive a car. I couldn’t look out the window when it got dark because I thought that the sky was falling.

RM: What a wild transition and mix of emotions. How did you deal with the chronic anxiety?

ME: My parents ended up moving in with me. I was 32 years old at the time, but I needed help to get through my day. My mom’s best friend referred a therapist to me in Huntington Beach. One of the first times I was with her she gave me a book called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.

She said, “I want you to read the first sentence of the book,” which says, “It’s not about you.” She said, “This is going to be the motto for your recovery and until you understand that it’s not about you, you’re never going to feel better.” I didn’t understand that concept at all because I worked in a very narcissistic business, so what could I do? The therapist said, “This Saturday, I want you to go out and feed the homeless.” The next Saturday she told me to pick up litter on the streets and the next Saturday to read to elderly people. Over time, all these things started changing my heart and I remember realizing one day that this was my favorite part of the week.

RM: Through this process of serving in some capability, you’re learning that it’s not about you. Did it all make sense then?

ME: The therapist suggested I learn why it’s not about me and challenged me to go to church. I was freaked out. This bass player was playing though and he was amazing. You could look at him and think, “This guy is cool.”

He had his eyes closed and he played unbelievably. He didn’t think about what a single soul thought about him. He was led by the [Holy] Spirit. In that moment I knew I wanted that. I honestly didn’t even know what that meant at the time, but as I served on local missions, I came to understand a relationship I had with Christ. I truly understand that we are at our best when we are serving others.

RM: You quit the music industry and devoted your full attention to creating and writing a book about, Every Monday Matters. The book was published almost five years ago and in it you offer at least 52 ways to make a difference. What kind of feedback have you received?

ME: About a month after the book came out, I received an e-mail from a 24-year-old single mother driving in Palm Springs. She saw a car pulled over on the side of the road with a woman hanging out of the window. She decided to pull over to see if the woman was having car trouble. It turns out the woman was there to commit suicide. The woman who wrote me the email told me that if it wasn’t for the book, Every Monday Matters, she would never have pulled over. I knew that there was something here. It was my God-moment to make Every Monday Matters my new mission. risenmagazine.com 41

The power of us individually matters. We can choose to ignore it or choose to be empowered and make a difference.

RM: Who is Every Monday Matters for?

ME: We wrote the book with the idea that it’s for everyone. You matter.

You have a purpose and you can have a positive impact on the world. We got a call from a program that deals with convicted felons and we started using the book with men and women who were literally in handcuffs and chains.

We shared this idea with them that they still matter. A man stood up and said, “No one ever told me that I mattered in life. That’s why I am where I am today.” And he started crying.

RM: Because of the book, you’ve participated in various letter-writing campaigns, started curriculum in schools, and done various team-building events. What’s behind your slogan, You Matter?

ME: Some people think it’s a Monday makeover book. Look, here’s this day everyone hates, and all of a sudden – wow! Now we can love Mondays because we can do cool things! But there’s also this idea behind our slogan – You Matter. I think that so many people just don’t feel that way about themselves. For example, one of our Mondays is, to not flick your cigarette butt. We researched and found that annual cigarette butt litter, end on end, measures more than 2 million miles. That’s 337 round trips from Los Angeles to New York! In the beginning for me, it was about changing that number.

But what I realized is that it’s not about changing the number, but the end results. If people understand that they matter and the things they do in this world make an impact, then they won’t flick cigarette butts anymore.

You change it by going after the person, not the number. The power of us individually matters. We can choose to ignore it or choose to be empowered and make a difference.

42 Risen Magazine

RM: What else have you learned through this idea that you matter, yet it’s not about you? Do you still have anxiety attacks?

ME: I really learned to appreciate God’s sense of humor, because sometimes I think that’s the only way I can handle some of the things that I’ve faced. “God, I get your joke and we’re going to keep moving forward.” [Laughs].

Do I still get anxiety? I do, sometimes. We get a lot of communication from students and adults who are struggling with things like depression, anxiety, not feeling like they matter, and suicide. I have so much compassion when I hear what they’re going through because I know exactly what they feel like.

I’ve learned that anxiety is my kind of “Spidey-sense” in a way where God is speaking to me. It prompts me to stop and say, “Okay what are you not seeing right now, Matt? What’s not in truth?” Anxiety cannot live in truth so I think that the anxiety is a way to let us know where we’re not being truthful about something.

RM: It’s wonderful that you’ve been completely transformed. What’s next?

ME: Looking back, my panic attacks were wild. At the time, I wanted to kill myself. I had no more joy in life. And now I look back and see that I wasn’t seeing it all. God definitely used that time to get my attention. [End of this year] we’re going into 1,200 high schools in Texas to spread this message that you matter and can make a difference. That’s seeing 3.8 million students! I’m looking forward to reaching more and more people through the non-profit. We’re excited to take on this social movement for all people, no matter who you are, how old, your race, or your gender. We want to make sure that people know; You Matter.

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44 Risen Magazine

Dept: Miracle

GenerateHope

There is a e Web Girls Caught in th g of Sex TraffIckin

Writer: Samantha Baer Photographer: Joanne Max

he was a young teenager feeling lost and alone. Seeking approval and love, she was led down a path that ultimately destroyed her life. This scenario is all too common for hundreds of girls, who become victims of sex trafficking. According to the U.S. State Department, “Child/Human Trafficking is one of the fastest growing crimes in the world. Child/Human trafficking is the world’s second largest criminal enterprise, after drugs. Approximately 80 percent of human trafficking victims are women and girls...” * While sex trafficking is a global problem, it’s also one that hits hard in cities throughout the United States. Once a target herself, Susan Munsey founded an organization to provide a safe place for victims of sex trafficking to be restored through longterm housing, healing, and education. GenerateHope is a faith based organization that helps women reintegrate into society and walk powerfully into their future. Risen recently sat down with Munsey to talk about the trappings of prostitution in sex trafficking, the hold it has on its victims, and the hope that can help them escape.

Interviewed exclusively for Risen Magazine in San Diego, California

Risen Media: For people who are unfamiliar with the term sex trafficking how would you explain it?

Susan Munsey: I see sex trafficking as an umbrella term, and underneath it a lot of different things can fall. It can be somebody that has moved from Russia and is now being sold in brothels in Amsterdam, to somebody who is trafficked against their will and being held in chains, to somebody that answered an “Internet Bride” ad where she thought she was going to be a wife, or a housekeeper or a nanny; or, it could even be somebody – like the girls GenerateHope sees most often – which have been lured into prostitution and are being sold on the streets, or sold through the Internet.

Using the Internet is much more common now; it’s where most of the business happens--through the web and cell phones. I think people tend to think it, [sex trafficking] only happens like in Cambodia, Thailand, Amsterdam, Germany or somewhere foreign. But it’s happening right in our backyard and all over the [United] States. California has three of the top eight cities in our nation for child prostitution: San Diego, San Francisco, and Los Angeles.

RM: How has having a degree in clinical social work impacted the way you approach your ministry?

SM: Oh it has helped tremendously! In just the way that it has shaped my mind to be helping people along with my faith, but I think there are so many other skills that I have learned in social work that apply to working with the girls. Clinical social work is more the therapy, which is what I was doing before I started GenerateHope. Throughout the day there are therapeutic opportunities with the girls and while they aren’t always open to talking in

the beginning – like many of us, we don’t necessarily pour our hearts out to strangers – as they get to know each of us [GenerateHope team] and trust is built, they begin to open up.

RM: How do you find the girls?

SM: A lot through law enforcement and also through social service agencies. We work closely with the police department if they are referring girls, or to help them if the girls are going to be testifying in a case, and just trying to help support the girls as they acclimate in the process. We also have girls that have found our website themselves, or someone has referred them.

RM: Explain the mindset of a pimp and how he usually approaches the girls?

SM: Girls may be looking for love and attention and meet a guy online who is portraying himself as somebody that he isn’t. The mall and the bus line are the two places pimps patrol regularly looking for young girls; they’re predators and they know exactly what to look for. For instance if they go to the shopping malls and see a young girl walking around the mall during school hours, they already know there is a problem because she’s skipping school.

They look for signs of low self-esteem, or if she’s troubled and they begin talking to her. We call it “love bombing.” They start making the girl believe that they really care about her, that they want to listen to her problems, they will even buy her a cheap meal or maybe [offer to] pay to have her nails done. The pimps begin to give the girl some things that look like love, and if she is missing love in her life, then she can be lured pretty easily.

RM: How long does the process usually take before he has lured the girl?

SM: It’s usually a very short period of time, about a week or two. And he risenmagazine.com 45

Dept: Miracle

always gets her phone number and texts her telling her how much he loves her to really groom her into the process.

I really don’t think they talk a lot about the details that are going to happen, it’s more just slowly pushing the boundaries.

RM: Explain in more detail what impact social media has played in finding girls?

SM: So many people are online now and they may be home alone where nobody is monitoring their computer use and then they start talking to the wrong person. Especially young people who are at a phase in their life where they are no longer looking to their parents for advice and support but more to their peers. Now, here is this supposed peer online who is giving them attention and support and the girl gets lured in pretty easily. It can happen that the guy presents himself as someone who he isn’t too because usually he is a lot older. The girl may be 1416 years old, while he is 30-40 years old, but saying he is 25 years old. The girl is just enthralled that this older guy is interested in her.

RM: What percentage, would you say, of girls involved in this type of situation are forced, versus their own free will?

SM: I think that it’s 100 percent force, fraud, and coercion. Nobody chooses to sell themselves unless they don’t have any other choices. So it may be that a girl makes the “choice” to sell herself, but she does that because she’s afraid she’s going to lose this guy [pimp,] the only “love” she has ever had, if she doesn’t.

Or she’s afraid that she will get hurt, or her family will get hurt. The girls have a quota every night that they need to bring in and it’s usually around $1,000. If you think about it, if a pimp has a couple of girls and each one is bringing in a $1,000 a night, well it can become a very lucrative business. So the pimps are going to use whatever means they need in order to keep these girls doing the job that they have set up for them.

She is trying to get out of a very difficult situation and the girl doesn’t realize that she is jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

RM: Just imagining the situation these girls are in is heart wrenching. How do most girls get into this type of situation and what are common elements from their backgrounds that could be possible indicators?

SM: Abuse is very common. Whether it’s physical or sexual abuse, and neglect is something that we see a lot of. There might be a rape in her history, but somehow these girls have learned that their body is not their own, they don’t have a right to say no, and they need to give their bodies up. So there is even an earlier training ground that happens for them inadvertently.

RM: A conference speaker mentioned how Facebook was being used to have girls convince their friends to be part of the “lifestyle.” What have you heard about this or any type of reward-based recruiting?

SM: Yes, there is definitely recruiting that goes on. The girl recruiting is called “the bottom” but she is actually the top – it’s a reversed kind of thinking. She may go into the schools and lure girls choosing whoever is vulnerable; some may particularly prey on Special Education kids. It could be meeting a girl on the street, through Facebook, or some other social media means that they can bring them in. The more girls the [recruiting] girl brings in, the better the treatment she gets. Such as they can get clothes, or maybe they don’t have to work as much, they might get to be the boss over the other girls; whatever it is that might make their life easier. I don’t know if this is a spoken deal, but the [recruiter] girl knows that the more girls she brings in, the better she is treated. But overall, the girls are taught to be pitted against each other. Pimps don’t want anyone getting secure, or feeling like they all can [band together] and gang up on the trafficker.

RM: How does the seduction process work? How are these girls manipulated to do whatever the pimp wants?

SM: There is a lot of what is called Stockholm Syndrome – that’s where there is some bond created between him [the pimp] and her [girl being trafficked.] There is a lot of brainwashing and fear that is involved. The girls may have seen another girl beaten, or they may have been beaten themselves. There may be some pictures that have been taken and [the pimp] threatens to put them on the Internet, or maybe he will say, “If you don’t do this for me, I’ll get your little sister to do that!” or he’ll threaten the family, etc.

46 Risen Magazine

RM: In your opinion, how premeditated are the actions of a pimp? Does he have a goal of how many girls he wants to have?

Is there a venue he provides for the sex?

SM: I think these are cruel people. My guess would be that they are all anti-social and their goal would be to make as much money as they can in whatever way they can. It doesn’t matter the cost. Most all the work happens over the Internet.

There may be a trafficker who is sitting in the hotel room with let’s say three girls. He puts out an [online] ad, and when people answer the ad, he responds to it as if he is the girl. Once a date is set up then he’ll send one of the girls out to another hotel room to meet the guy [who answered the ad] and provide the services that have been agreed upon. That is how most of it happens, but there is still some street prostitution.

RM: Media isn’t always the best example, but in the movie Taken, the girls kidnapped into sex trafficking are also drugged. How accurate is that when it comes to this line of work?

SM: Drugs can be involved and oftentimes the girls need to do something to get through the night. They need some sort of technique of getting away from whatever it is that is happening to them without ever actually getting away. Some girls will disassociate and try to leave their minds, which they may have learned when they were being sexually abused as a child. But other times girls will use drugs to deal with it. They drink a lot and then use cocaine, or ecstasy, to keep them awake so they can still do their work. People sometimes think that women are involved in prostitution because they are drug addicts and that’s the way they pay for their addiction, but that’s actually a very small percentage of the women. It’s more typical that drugs are used to get through what these girls have to get through. And sometimes the pimp provides [the drugs,] and sometimes the girls provide [the drugs] for themselves.

RM: Does a pimp take a girl, or does she agree to live with him full-time because she is so brainwashed? How is it arranged?

SM: It can vary, but typically the girl will agree to leave her life. There is usu-

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Dept: Miracle

ally something [she is trying to escape,] or maybe she is even being abused at home. She is trying to get out of a very difficult situation and the girl doesn’t realize that she is jumping from the frying pan into the fire. She doesn’t always know what he [the pimp] is asking for either. It may be that he is still “love bombing” her saying, “ You can come stay with me. It sounds like your family is terrible,” or “ You don’t have to finish school, I’ll take care of you” and all the things that she wants to hear, or actually needs to hear, in order to leave.

RM: What happens when they are no longer needed? Age out? Not sexy enough?

SM: Well, it’s not common that they would age out. There is a high mortality rate in this business, if you can call it that.

Women can be killed; they are frequently raped and abused. They can die, get too involved with drugs, or be sold to another pimp. If a girl is giving her pimp trouble, he can sell her to somebody else who is more brutal and may be more capable of controlling her.

They are starting very, very young and the penalties aren’t severe because the boys are still minors. [If caught,] they do their little bit of time and then they go back out and continue to do the same thing because it’s very lucrative. Most pimps will continue until they get busted, something else happens to stop them, or they go into a different crime. I really think that most all pimps have “Anti-Social Personality Disorder.” They aren’t thinking in the same terms that normal people do. The only thing that is important to them is that they get their needs met, and in any way they need to do that, they will.

the most lucrative business for organized crime, or gangs, is guns, drugs, and then prostitution. And they know they can sell the girls over and over again, yet can only sell the guns or drugs once.

RM: It sounds as if the traffickers work together. Explain how this occurs.

SM: Yes for sure. There is also a lot of gang activity so rival gangs sometimes even work together to help keep the girls under control. Gang involvement is another way of entry into that world. We see a lot of this, where the girl may have been gang raped or gang beaten, as opposed to being lured in, and told what to do [by being threatened into submission] with the pimps saying, “We will kill your family,” or “We will do this to your little sister or brother,” or “We will kill the family dog.” And the thing is, once the gangs have played this trick, once they have gone out there and done that to a girl, it’s really hard for the girl to come back. You see there is a psychological change that happens to the girls, there is also a change that happens physically and spiritually as well. It’s sad, but the most lucrative business for organized crime, or gangs, is guns, drugs, and then prostitution. And they know they can sell the girls over and over again, yet can only sell the guns or drugs once.

RM: Where are these girls staying during the daytime?

SM: They are usually staying in motels. Sometimes there may be a house that they stay in, but very often they just stay in a motel because the gangs or pimps keep moving them around. There have circuits. They may move the girls up to Oceanside, and then down in Chula Vista, and then back up to El Cajon Boulevard. Or they could move them from San Diego to Las Vegas or a city where there is a big sporting event happening. The more movement, the less stable the girls feel. The girls don’t feel they have people around that can help them escape, no family, and they may not even know what city they are in. The pimp will often take the girls’ identification so they couldn’t even get a bus ticket if they wanted to because they don’t have their ID. RM: Besides the obvious money, what would possess pimps to want to be in this business?

SM: Sometimes it is a family business. It may be a father, or an uncle, who teaches the younger boy what to do. The boys start “pimping” as young as 14-15 years old now so they are right there in the schools with the girls.

RM: How often are pimps caught?

SM: I think that law enforcement does try to catch pimps by talking to the girls after they are in recovery, but remember, the girls are brainwashed to protect the pimp, so it takes awhile for the girls to stand up against the perpetrators. I think in some cases if a woman is raped, that woman may chose to not go to court, or she may choose not to report it because she doesn’t want to have to go through all that comes with giving a pimp’s identity. I think what often helps is that when a woman has gotten treatment and had a chance for her head to clear, she realizes more about the entrapment and is much more likely to testify against the pimp.

RM: Education is a key component that is unique to GenerateHope versus most other programs. How does it work?

SM: We provide all the basic necessities, food, clothing, housing, and such.

We also have an education component in which the girls go to school every day and work towards their high school education. When they have gotten their diploma, we work towards college or a trade school. There are also other classes mixed in; art, jewelry-making, or like today everyone went on a field trip to a museum. We also have psychosocial groups where the girls can work on the trauma from the sex trade. It may be a PTSD [Post Traumatic Stress Disorder] class, or a substance abuse class, but there is group and individual therapy. We also offer classes that work on some of the things the girls have missed in their adolescence, like money management, communication skills, and social skills. Everybody takes turns cooking and takes a rotating chore. On Saturdays the girls try to get their chores done by noon so the rest of the weekend is free [time]. Once the girls have been with us long enough to get stable, they may transfer to the transitional housing where they have less supervision, but still have support available. From there they can go to a subsidized apartment until finishing their education or are able to get a job and support themselves.

RM: How shielded from regular life do you keep the girls in the program as they transition back to normalcy?

SM: We have a lot of structure. We have house rules and things they have to abide by, and when they come and go, they have to check in with the “house moms.” We have a white board to write where they are going and when they will be back. The first month they are at the house, they have to stay on campus unless they go somewhere with a volunteer or instructor. risenmagazine.com 49

Dept: Miracle

There are a lot of outings that they still can go on, so it’s not like lockdown, but it’s really like they are in a “holding state” –we are holding that person in a loving way so they can start to change their thought processes, their habits and behaviors. After the first month, they are allowed one day a week to go and do something that they want to do, like go to the park, the mall, or meet a family member. They slowly own more and more free time as they become more responsible.

RM: Hearing how family life has played a role, whether positive or negative, what contact are the girls allowed with their families?

SM: It depends on the individual. If the family is healthy, then we want to encourage that connection. Oftentimes the family is not healthy, or they are basically nonexistent so that’s not a big part of the girls’ healing picture. We certainly don’t want to discourage them from having contact with their family if it is a healthy situation.

it’s really like they are in a “holding state” – we are holding that person in a loving way so they can start to change their thought processes, their habits and behaviors.

RM: What percent of the girls who are caught, usually go back and continue working for their pimp?

SM: It’s pretty common. I would say probably 30-40 percent of the time, girls will leave and then come back [to GenerateHope.] It’s a hard habit for them to break. We do everything we can to get them to stay, but we do give them free choice. We will talk with them and say, “I don’t think that you are making a good choice right now,” or “ You do have other options so lets talk about those,” or “Can you sleep on this tonight? I know that you are very upset right now, but this isn’t the best time to make a decision.”

We work to keep them here, but we don’t chase after them, or go looking for them when they leave.

RM: Has a pimp ever tried contacting a girl in your program, and if so, what has happened?

SM: No, and the reason is sad. It’s easier for pimps to go and get a new girl than for them to be bothered with somebody that will give them trouble.

These are people that are crime perpetrators and bullies and they don’t want to deal with a responsible adult like one of the “house moms.” So if the girl is gone and at a place where there might be somebody that wants to protect her, the pimp doesn’t want to mess with that.

RM: You were actually a victim of being sex-trafficked. To now be in the leadership position and helping young women in a similar situation, how are you able to help the girls feel more understood from your personal experiences?

SM: I think that it gives me some initial trust with them, but only initially.

I have to still show them that I care about them and that I’m not somebody else that just wants something from them. I still have to build trust with them. I was fortunate not to be involved in that [lifestyle] for very long. I think God really protected me, even in a bad situation, and used that bad situation to turn it around for good. I had had enough of a taste of what the good life could be, and I got out [of the bad] soon enough so there was not a lot of damage. I was able to go through a lot of counseling and get my head straight before I started working with people who have been through what I went through as a kid.

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RM: If you could have grabbed yourself at that age, and given yourself a piece of advice, what would it be?

SM: I was 16 years old and feeling very lost and very alone. I probably would advise myself to try talking with my parents or getting some help. It was a time where kids didn’t go to therapy as much as they do these days and I think that would have been helpful. I would say, “ You are going down a path that you have no idea what is at the end.” And then talk to myself about what things I might be getting into.

RM: What role does faith play in your recovery program?

SM: Faith is a big part of our program and it’s a big part of the people’s lives that come and work here. We are always praying for these girls, and we have prayer warriors who are also praying for the girls, and praying for us [staff ]. It’s a big part of the foundation of this program. We have Bible studies and opportunities for the girls to go to church, but it’s a choice for them and not something we mandate.

Interestingly, most of the girls that come here are at such a deep, dark, place that they are reaching out for help and looking for whatever that help is. Often, the girls will ask for prayer or ask about our faith, or will want to go to church and will pray to receive Christ. It’s really neat to see how God works in their lives no matter what we are doing. All the girls have stories about how God is working in their lives before he even brings them here to us. Church is their choice, and we like them to go with us but it’s always just an invitation.

RM: Where has your faith been most tested throughout this whole process?

SM: I think that anytime there have been tense moments, whether it’s been that we weren’t going to be able to pay the rent, or something that has been going on with one of the girls, I’ve had to really learn to rely more on God and to wait on him, and know that he comes through every time. This is his ministry, it’s not Susan’s ministry; as much as I try to charge on out there acting like it’s all mine, it’s Gods. I have to keep coming back to that, and keep coming back to him, asking, “Okay Lord, what do you want me to do with this?”

RM: A lot that has happened these past two years. What are the current needs that your organization has and how can the public help?

SM: Finances are always a need. People can also volunteer by coming in and helping with the classes, or getting girls to appointments, or taking them out for a fun day trip. We also welcome help with the new minor’s house we’re opening. We will have a need for a variety of ways to help there. If somebody feels so called, they can become a “house mom.” There is always behind-the-scenes work from accounting to grant writing, or fundraising, even admin stuff. If somebody wants to come here and help, we can find a place for them!

For more information about GenerateHope visit: *Stop Child Trafficking: http://www.sctnow.org

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From Sickness & Survival to Sustainability & Strength One Man Created A Solution for the Country to Have Clean Water Writer: Heidi Ortlip Interviewer: Kelli Gillespie Photographer: Give Clean Water

iji is a place known for its breathtaking beaches, world-class surfing and high-end bottled water. But it’s also a country where half the population doesn’t have access to clean, bacteria-free water and one organization is trying to change that.

After spending years working for a non-profit group that builds homes in Mexico, Darrel Larson embarked on a new journey.

One where he envisioned being able to provide every person in Fiji with sustainable access to clean water. The result is the nonprofit organization, Give Clean Water.

Larson developed a relationship with the Fijian government, and in October 2008, he took a group of volunteers to Fiji for Give Clean Water’s first official trip to the islands. They installed new, top-of-the-line filters for more than 300 families. Since that time, not only have thousands of lives been improved, but Larson’s plan has been adopted by the government as the immediate solution to the country’s water crisis. Risen traveled to Fiji with Larson and his team for a firsthand experience in the villages, and to learn more about the “what’s needed” to have sustainable clean water for all the islands.

Interview exclusively for Risen Magazine in Suva, Fiji

Risen Magazine: What made you want to start Give Clean Water, and why the islands of Fiji?

Darrel Larson: I was looking to do a project that would give back to the world and water seemed to be the one I was most interested in. As we began looking for a country where we could network and partner with people in the community, Fiji came to our attention. There are about 900,000 people that live in Fiji. There are approximately 300 islands, with 110 of those inhabited. So, half the population basically does not have access to any kind of treatable water that is bacteria-free. Ultimately, we realized it was the place where we could work with the local health ministry and leaders to move towards solving the country’s water crisis.

RM: You’ve been to Fiji at least a dozen times. What do you most look forward to about returning to the country?

DL: I look forward to being with the people and the opportunity that’s going to be there when we go into a village and change people’s lives. In a matter of hours you can go into a village and change lives forever. I’m always anticipating that. It’s a bit of a challenge, because things are always changing. In Fiji they don’t do time like we do in the United States. You have to be willing to go with the flow. But this can also provide some great, flexible opportunities where you really get to experience the beauty of the culture and the people and realize that you are going to make an imprint on the world by helping to change their lives.

RM: There seems to be a disconnect between the perception of Fiji, and the reality. How is it possible that half the country doesn’t have access to clean water?

DL: Fiji is a beautiful country with the scenic places and resorts you see on TV, but realistically, Fiji is a second-world country. Infrastructure is a challenge in a place with so many remote mountainous areas, some of which are only accessible with a really good four-wheel drive vehicle. Water access is there, because it rains a lot, but with industrialization and a growing population, it becomes more of a challenge to treat that water. The biggest struggle Fiji faces is trying to play catch-up with the development in rural areas that are so far removed. The country is working as fast as it can and has a great long and medium term plan, but in the meantime, the people in the villages that are really far away from everything, have to get their water from a creek, or the river, or rain. People don’t tend to think there would be a problem in Fiji because they see a picture of a resort that has everything self-contained.

But once you get outside the resort you see how the rest of the population lives. And although it’s a very beautiful country and is full of the warmest people in the world, the logistics of getting clean, treated water to people is a huge challenge.

RM: I’m sure people are wondering how a country known for its high-end bottled water could actually be in need of access to clean water.

DL: That’s probably the number one question we get asked as an organizarisenmagazine.com 53

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tion. Fiji has some of the best water; the country has amazing artisan springs that come and flow down from the mountains. It’s a natural filtration process and some of that water is able to be captured and bottled and shipped off to all parts of the world. The water comes from very select and specific places in the country. Because of the lack of infrastructure and remote location of the artisan springs, you can’t exactly tap into it and run pipes to all the villages, much less get it to all the islands.

RM: What relationship does Give Clean Water have with Fiji Water (the bottled water company)?

DL: Giving back is something that is a part of Fiji Water’s strategy. The company has been very gracious to the people of Fiji, and actually gives back substantial amounts to the country. Fiji Water has built schools and provided water access. It has also sponsored Give Clean Water projects to help distribute filters to people in the villages.

RM: Give us an idea of what it’s like to visit one of these remote villages.

DL: You can’t just walk into a Fijian village; you have to go through protocol, which includes asking for permission to enter. First you pay respects to the headman of the village and the tribal elders. Typically, upon arrival you will be taken to the community hall and brought before the elders for a traditional welcome ceremony. When you enter the hall you must remove your shoes and stay seated. The tribal elders will be gathered around a big bowl of kava, a traditional Fijian drink. During the ceremony you will be 54 Risen Magazine

welcomed and given a blessing to move freely throughout the village. You will all then drink kava together. The elders make kava by grinding it out of a root and mixing it up. Accepting a drink of kava is almost like a right of passageway into the village itself. Once you go through that process, the headman will say something and then the tribal elders will welcome you. It’s really an honor and a treat to be able to go into a village that rich in cultural traditions, and get to experience that kind of a welcome. After the ceremony you can move freely through the village, and every home you enter, in a sense, becomes your home.

RM: What is Fiji’s government doing about this crisis, and what has the feedback been?

DL: The government has a long-term and medium-term plan to create infrastructure that would deliver clean water to people in rural areas. The biggest challenge right now is the immediate needs that arise. The government is really concerned with data, so officials are very much a part of monitoring what we’ve done, primarily in the western division of Fiji. They have seen firsthand the change in communities that were once infected with water borne diseases like typhoid and e-coli. Once we install filters, there is an immediate turn around and change in health. It’s been an observable thing that they’ve been able to see the data, as it shifts from lots of water-borne illnesses, to no water-borne illnesses after the installation of the water filters. It’s really exciting right now because we are in the process of coming up with a memorandum of understanding with the government. Basically,

Dept: Outreach

this formalizes Give Clean Water’s relationship with the Ministry of Health.

We don’t just want to be an organization that goes in and does a project to someone; we want to be an organization that does the project with all of the community leaders. So the memorandum of understanding allows us to work in conjunction with the health ministry so we can partner together and help solve that crisis right away.

RM: When it comes to educating the Fijian people, what are some of the biggest challenges Give Clean Water faces?

DL: In many instances people have spent their whole life drawing water from rivers and collecting water whatever way they can. There is a bit of a built-in mindset that the water is clean and pure. But as the country has developed and the livestock population has grown, water sources have become contaminated much more easily. We spend a lot of time trying to educate people and reinforce that the water is contaminated. A lot of times villagers think their water is clean, because it looks clear. Then when it floods the water will get cloudy and that’s when they think to boil or filter the water.

But the idea that bacteria can be present in clear water is part of the education process. So many times you will ask them the question, “How do you feel, how’s your health?” And they will say “Oh, everything’s good.” But if you ask them if they ever have diarrhea, they’ll tell you they get it all the time; it’s just part of their lifestyle. However, left untreated it can become detrimental to a villager’s health and ultimately lead to death. We want the people to understand that this is for their health and well-being.

RM: How does Give Clean Water make sure the work being done is sustainable?

DL: When we go into people’s homes, we teach them basic hygiene and how water becomes contaminated. We give them a little poster that explains all the different ways water becomes polluted and bacteria filled. An important part of process is that we actually teach them how to assemble and to use the water filter. Then they have to demonstrate to us that they understand how the system works. With cleaning and proper use, these filters are meant to last a lifetime. The final step is to go back and visit the villages where water filters have been installed. An additional part of the process has been working with the health ministry and the health workers assigned to each village. Partnering directly with them and including them in the follow-up process is a big part of our memorandum of understanding.

During a follow-up visit, our staff goes back to each house to verify that the filters are being used and working properly. This is also a time that we can collect data to pass onto the health ministry. The follow-up visits are a great part of what we do that separates us from other organizations. It’s the hard work of going back to villages and finding things that perhaps aren’t going 100 percent well.

RM: Aside from the Fijian government, what other support have you received?

DL: On a recent trip to Fiji we were able to be one of the charities of the Volcom Fiji Pro surf contest. Thirty-four of the top surfers from around the world came for this competition. It was amazing; some of the best waves ever. One of the days was set aside as a day [for the surfers] to give back in the villages. Volcom and Tavarua Island were both sponsors and purchased water filters that we were able to install in two villages. Pro surfer Kelly Slater was on that trip and saw firsthand the affects of unclean water. He was able to spend some time with the chief of the village whose wife had been sick for weeks. Leba had contracted a bacterial disease called Leptospi-

eople don’t tend to think there would be a problem in Fiji because they see a picture of a resort that has everything self-contained. But once you get outside the resort you see how the rest of the population lives. rosis*, which comes from the water supply. It can cause all kinds of problems and ultimately, if untreated, can lead to death. During a follow-up visit to the village, we were able to check on her, and thankfully she had recovered.

It’s great to know that by installing water filters you are changing lives. (To read more about Leba’s story see the inset on page 56) RM: How many people have received filters from Give Clean Water since you’ve been going to Fiji?

DL: Over the past few years we’ve been able to reach 20,000 people in the most rural remote areas of Fiji on the big island. We are working mostly on the western division where they have the most flooding and cases of typhoid. It’s a pretty cool thing to say you’ve gone to that many remote rural people and given them drinking water.

RM: With the combined efforts of the Fijian government and Give Clean Water, is the country’s water crisis solvable? What would it take?

DL: We believe that in the next ten years we will solve Fiji’s water problem and the country’s development will be able to catch up with the work we are doing in the rural areas. But accomplishing this will take donors. Give Clean Water has a lot of great companies that want to give and make a difference in the world. One of the things I love about our organization is that when people give money it goes right where it’s supposed to go. It goes right to purchasing water filters and providing the clean drinking water filters for every village, and doesn’t get sucked up in all kinds of crazy overhead costs. risenmagazine.com 55

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e believe that in the next ten years we will solve Fiji’s water problem and the country’s development will be able to catch up with the work we are doing in the rural areas.

It’s a tangible finite dollar amount that’s attached to being able to solve the country’s clean drinking water problem.

RM: After your work is done in Fiji, what’s next for Give Clean Water?

DL: If we can create a model and develop partnerships to solve Fiji’s water crisis, then we can take that model and apply it in different countries. My heart has always been in the South Pacific. Growing up where I did and being around Pacific Islanders all my life, is a big part of who I am. I would love to go to some of those places. I’m thinking Samoa or Tonga of Indonesia and parts of Asia Pacific. But we are open to wherever we are led to go and what partnerships we develop as we grow as an organization. I feel like we are going to be able to do some great work all around the world.

Leba’s Story of Survival I didn’t believe that I’d be able to sit in front of you and your team this afternoon. I’m thankful to the Lord for his greatness. It was nearly two months ago that I got this sickness. I had a high fever; it was really high. I got very cold, but my temperature was 104 degrees. I had a headache, vomiting, I was not able to walk. My family had to hold me up if I had to go to the bathroom.

I was frightened of the water too. I couldn’t even touch the water. I was not able to see properly. I couldn’t recognize people, even my family. I went to a private doctor and they took my blood two times and I got an x-ray, but he didn’t see any sickness. The doctor told me there was nothing to worry about and all was okay. I had my husband take me to another doctor. He was not happy with my results. He said “Leba, we checked your blood sample again and discovered you have Leptospirosis.” I was really afraid. The doctor told me that so many people die from this sickness. I asked the doctor if he was able to cure me and he said, “I can cure your sickness.” So he kept me there and gave me injections with antibiotics. I could start to recognize people again after my fourth injection. The first time those buckets [Give Clean Water’s bucket filter system] came I didn’t make use of them. I thought it was just the same as the drinking water. But the second time you brought the buckets, we are very thankful to you because it has changed so much in my family. Every time I use the bucket filter now. Everyone in my family is better, no more diarrhea, and I got much better. *Leptospirosis is a bacterial disease that affects humans and animals. In humans, it can cause a wide range of symptoms, some of which may be mistaken for other diseases. Without treatment, Leptospirosis can lead to kidney damage, meningitis (inflammation of the membrane around the brain and spinal cord), liver failure, respiratory distress, and even death. Source: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

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ARGO:

BEN AFFLECK & BRYAN CRANSTON

Writer: Kelli Gillespie Photographer: Claire Folger (L-r) BRYAN CRANSTON as Jack O’Donnell and BEN AFFLECK as Tony Mendez

In 1979, a group of Islamic students and militants took over the American Embassy in Tehran. Fifty-two Americans were held hostage for 444 days. It became known as the Iran hostage crisis and was widely televised. But what people didn’t know, until 1996 when the information became declassified, was that six U.S. diplomats hid in the home of the Canadian Ambassador until they were rescued with a unique plan of a fictitious movie called Argo. Thinking outside the box was what helped the State Department bing home thses 6 Americans. Ben Affleck stars in and directs the movie Argo, based loosely on CIA operative Tony Mendez’s account of the historical rescue. Bryan Cranston also stars and Risen talked with them both about integrity, courage, and taking risks.

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Interviewed at The Beverly Hilton hotel in Beverly Hills, California

Risen Magazine: These characters have such integrity.

They step up in courage because they know what needs to be done is right. When was a point in your life when you made a decision that maybe wasn’t the norm, but you just knew at your core that you had to do it?

Ben Affleck: Making a movie like this about people in the State Department who are overseas risking their life, actually is humbling to me because it makes me realize I haven’t had to make choices like this. I haven’t had to make sacrifices like this and I feel really lucky. These people have extraordinary character. I try to live my life as best I can according to my values, but I haven’t ever done anything like that.

RM: When it comes to your work and your life, how often do you find yourself thinking outside the box?

BA: It’s definitely something that Hollywood – directing, acting, any of that stuff – teaches you. It’s a really good lesson to pick up.

Which is that oftentimes the idea that is more unusual that you haven’t seen, that you don’t expect, that sounds stupid at first blush, turns out to be the really good idea. The most inspired, brilliant choices are things I never would’ve thought of [in the norm]… so I actually look for those kinds of ideas. Anything that feels like the normal thing, the ordinary thing, the safe choice, is surely wrong.

What you’re looking for is that thing like, why would you just get up in the middle of this interview and start walking around and talking from over there. You might think it doesn’t make sense, but you’d feel all of a sudden like something is interesting and weird.

You’d think why is she talking over there? Is she weird? Is she crazy? Is she angry? Which is why I think those choices are really worth looking at.

RM: When you’re directing and acting, how do you keep the pace of humor and action and every nuance that keeps the audiences on the edge of their seat?

BA: It’s a balance and I guess that’s sort of the craft of it. You

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know some of it needs to go there, and this part needs to be a little more intense, and oftentimes humor is used to let the audience release for a minute. Because you can’t just keep turning the screw during the whole movie or the audience would rebel I think. So there is a nice balance that you want to achieve until the parts that just have to be more and more intense and make your heart beat.

The stuff I’ve learned, honestly, I learned mostly from watching other movies and watching the art of the way other people did it. I just watch it and think, “How do I feel watching this? Does this make me feel more anxious? Does this make me feel more tense?”

RM: How important is it to step up in courage and take risks?

Bryan Cranston: I think it’s unavoidable. There are times in life when you have to step up and do things that are uncomfortable.

You need to be the person to do it. Face the music, be responsible, and keep your integrity. Those are the times that develop character.

The actions which we take under duress are what develop character in a person. It’s not during the good times.

RM: What will you remember from your time spent at CIA Headquarters?

BC: They are very dedicated people, they believe in the greater good, and that’s why they are there, and yet there is something somewhat lonely about it. Just imagine this, you’re married to someone in the CIA, or you’re in the CIA, and you come home and have absolutely no conversations about what happens at work.

Your spouse cannot know, does not know the extent of what you do. That can really separate a relationship and how to manage through it.

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James Bond: Daniel Craig & Javier Bardem Writer: Kelli Gillespie Photographer: Francois Duhamel

Daniel Craig (left) and Javier Bardem

It’s been 50 years since James Bond’s big screen debut in Dr. No, and for the golden anniversary, the MI6 secret agent is still the gold standard. Daniel Craig reprises the role for the third time opposite the ultimate bad guy embodied brilliantly by Javier Bardem. Risen talked with these foes about Skyfall, sacrifice, and sins.

Interviewed at the Crosby Hotel in Soho, New York

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Risen Magazine: What do you feel like you’ve had to sacrifice, if anything, to be where you’re at today in your career?

Daniel Craig: The only thing you sacrifice is being away from your family for so long. That’s the toughest part of it, but I get home as often as I can and I make sure that I see my family as much as I can. You have to, otherwise you go a bit insane.

RM: A theme in Skyfall is Think on Your Sins… What do you think James Bond puts his faith in?

DC: In himself, his loyalty, and his own ability. He gets tested and what makes him interesting is that he is fallible and brittle at times.

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RM: Looking back at being a part of this Bond film, what will stand out most to you?

JB: There is this one scene where James Bond and M were looking at me and I forgot my lines. I realized they were looking at me and I thought, “Why are they looking at me? I may be the villain in the movie?” I forgot my lines it’s true, then Sam [Mendes, Director] came to me laughing because he knew and said, “What’s going on?” And I said, “I just realized I’m in a James Bond movie.” They were all laughing at me, which is the best way to approach insecurity.

RM: If you could disappear for a bit and people didn’t know you were Daniel Craig the actor, what would you find yourself doing?

DC: I would get on a plane and fly places and not worry… go to a museum in the mid of day because it gets a bit too difficult if there is a crowd around. There is not much I don’t do. I try to live my life as well as I can.

RM: There’s a lot of reflection in this film on where these guys are at and how they got there, and whether it was by instinct or discipline. How do you make decisions?

Javier Bardem: For me it’s always about the impact. Something has to create an impact on you. Whether it’s intellectual or emotional, something that tells you there is something of worth to do… and then seeing yourself being capable of doing something.

Because sometimes we have so much ambition and we don’t really connect with our own limits and it’s not meant for us. risenmagazine.com 59

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ALEX CROSS: TYLER PERRY Writer: Jake Hamilton Photographer: Sidney Baldwin

TYLER PERRY stars in ALEX CROSS

Tyler Perry was born into poverty and raised in a household of abuse. But through strength, faith, and perseverance he was able to rise to the height of Hollywood. From months sleeping in his car, to collaborating with pastor T.D. Jakes, and even Oprah, Perry’s fan base has welcomed his dozens of plays and hit movies as part of the fabric of their lives. Now Perry is stepping into the shoes of the iconic character Alex Cross and he talks with Risen about his career and the grace of God.

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Interviewed at the Four Seasons at Beverly Hills in Los Angeles, California Risen Magazine: Alex Cross understands if you’re going to be a cop, there is an inherit danger that comes with the job. In acting, what is the inherit downside that you just have to accept?

Tyler Perry: For me, the fame part of it I don’t enjoy as much. I love making the movies, I’m a very private person and I love my privacy. I like going to the store and being able to buy my milk and not end up on Twitter and the tabloids. So that for me is the downside. You know, I tried to go to my favorite restaurant to eat the other night and there were 15 paparazzi outside. I had to go home and make a sandwich because I had to think, What am I wearing? What are they going to say about me? Is my hair cut? I don’t want to think about that crap.

RM: How do you think the mentality of revenge affects people?

TP: For me personally, I am not a person that believes in revenge. I believe you reap what you sow. So whatever you do will come back to you eventually. If you put it out there it’s going to come back to you. And it may not come back to you from me, it may come back to you through someone else. That was one of the struggles I had with the script, but what I wanted to do in this movie was be the actor and give into whoever this character was even though some of that wasn’t necessarily Tyler Perry, I understand how it is Alex Cross. I understand the anger and the frustration, and the hurt of this guy Picasso, played brilliantly by Matthew Fox, coming after Alex.

RM: When was the first time in your life, in this business, when you thought: “I don’t know how to handle something like this?”

TP: That’s every day. It takes a lot of prayer for me to deal with what happens in this business, how it happens and how things

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unfold. But I’ve learned a great deal these past six to seven years since my first movie regarding how to navigate through this thing called Hollywood. So it’s pretty interesting.

RM: You have such a journey… do you ever look back and think, “How did I get here?”

TP: Yes always. And my thought is that this couldn’t have been anything but the grace of God because there is no way in my life, where I come from with every statistic being against me, there is no way I’m supposed to be here…but for some reason here I am.

RM: It’s great you attribute it to the grace of God and are very open about prayer, particularly in a time when people pull back from taking about things like that in public. Is it important to you to maybe push it even a little bit further?

TP: No. I’m not trying to push it any further than this is what I believe and this is who I am. I’m not trying to be in anybody’s face. I respect people for what they believe and I just want them to respect me for what I believe.

Dept:Sound

Writer: Henry Ortlip

Mumford & Sons - Babel Mumford & Sons’ debut album, Sigh No More was a worldwide success back in 2009. The bands unique folk/rock sound along with Marcus Mumford’s raw vocals resulted in global success. This fall Mumford & Sons released their sophomore album, Babel. The album is full of Christian themes, and biblical metaphors. The songs however, aren’t worship songs, but merely songs based on the human experience. Babel isn’t just enjoyable for the ears, but it causes one to reflect on their life. It searches the mind, asking the listener deeper questions.

Babel is must! Mumford and Sons are going to be in business for a long time to come.

Grade: Recommend tracks: I Will Wait, Babel, Lover’s Eyes

Imagine Dragons

- Night Visions

Night Visions is the debut album from this quartet from Las Vegas. Led by Dan Reynolds, this album stands out among other alternative albums this fall. The album has a broad range of tracks, from stadium anthems like Radioactive to bubbly jingles like On Top of the World. Imagine Dragons was able to find the balance of being adventurous while remaining polished. It’s one of those albums where you buy one track on iTunes, then two, and before you know it they have won you over completely.

Grade: Recommend tracks: Radioactive, It’s Time, Demons

Ellie Goulding

- Halcyon

Halcyon is Ellie Goulding’s sophomore album. Her first album, Lights (2011) had more of a pop/electronic feel, while Halcyon takes on a darker mood with Dubstep undertones at times. The album is honest and demands to be listened to with thought as a contrast from the bubbly pop we previously received from her. This album is not a disappointment, but I don’t believe this style suits Ellie best. Hopefully, this album is only a pit stop with many more sides of Ellie to be shown in the future. Ellie has a fantastic voice and is no doubt a talent to keep an eye on.

Grade: Recommend tracks: My Blood, Anything Could Happen, Figure 8

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