Your turn 6.3 Look at the following transcript of a student speech and its accompanying visual language, then answer these questions. a Consider the presentation’s overall structure. Identify the key ‘stages’ of the argument by drawing a line where you feel the speech shifts focus. Is it a logical structure? In what ways could it be considered effective? b Study the student’s verbal language closely. Select one or two standout strategies at work at each key stage of the speech and write sentences to explain the potential impact of each one. c Study the visual support, which appeared in the form of slides at key moments of the presentation. What impact is the speaker hoping for? How is each one being used to support the opinion? d How does this student attempt to engage the audience of fellow Year 12 students and English teachers? Pick out specific moments in the speech where you feel this audience engagement is best achieved and explain why. e Can you ‘critique’ this speech? How might the student have improved the presentation? What different approaches might have been adopted? Discuss as a class.
Sample oral presentation
high-scoring response
Part 6
Peter Greste [shows first slide] Let me tell you about a man called Peter Greste. This man is not a terrorist nor a murderer, yet he is held like an animal in a cage. He is not a drug dealer nor a thief, yet he has wasted away in an Egyptian prison for more than 12 months. No, in fact Peter Greste is a well-renowned multi-award winning journalist who has spent his life reporting from around the world … and he’s an Australian citizen. Yet, on the 29th of December 2013, just a few short weeks after arriving in Egypt, Peter Greste and a number of his Egyptian media colleagues were arrested by Egyptian police, charged with ‘falsifying news’ and ‘spreading dissent’. Over the 12 months of his captivity, the Australian Government has been largely silent. Today I ask you to consider this question; what should our government do? When should our government intervene if an Australian citizen is arrested in another country? Now, as we all know, if you’re arrested in Australia, you can expect a number of things, notably: the possibility of bail, as well as a fair and speedy trial that presents and examines the evidence. Peter Greste was captured
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and imprisoned in Egypt, where this is also supposedly the case. Way back in 1967, Egypt became party to an international treaty – the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, which states that anyone who is arrested has the right to be: 1 promptly informed of any charges against him 2 promptly tried in court 3 not be deprived of his liberty without good reason. This is what should have happened, what Egypt as a nation pledged to do. So why then, has Greste suffered in prison for months, with no trial, no evidence, no justice … no hope?
Because of all of this, there have been repeated calls for the Australian Government to intervene. Thousands have flocked to the Egyptian streets in protest, while more than 38 000 people have signed a petition calling for an end to Peter Greste’s captivity. But you see, politics and international relations are complicated at the best of times; on the one hand nations must respect each others’ sovereignty and independence; on the other, they have a duty to protect the rights of their citizens. And sometimes these principles can conflict. Now this isn’t the first time the government has found themselves in such a situation. [shows second slide]
Stern Hu is an Australian, a senior employee at Rio Tinto. In 2010 he was arrested in China on charges of spying and bribery. Now, as we all know, China’s human rights record and its legal system don’t have the most glowing reputation; the Chinese Government’s brutal response to the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests ensured that. So you can understand that when Stern Hu was arrested it was front page news and there was lots of pressure on the Australian Government to take up his case. However, in this instance, Stern Hu was in the wrong; he pleaded guilty, with his employer Rio Tinto reportedly persuaded of his guilt. So it seems that the government did the right thing in not jumping on the bandwagon and assuming he was innocent; instead they stood back and allowed the evidence to unfold.
Well, the first complexity lies within the political situation in Egypt. The country is in crisis, plagued by years of destructive violence. The current government lacks legitimacy, after seizing power and imprisoning their opposition – seemingly with little regard for the law. The Muslim Brotherhood, whom Greste was accused of supporting, has been involved in a rising tide of violence and is now banned in Egypt as a terrorist organisation. This isn’t The Lord of the Rings; there are no white knights in Egypt, no good guys in whom to trust. The second complexity relates to Greste’s employer, the Al Jazeera news network. Another respected Australian reporter, Jennifer Byrne, revealed that Al Jazeera’s principal backer is the Emir of Qatar, who has been accused of influencing his company’s reporting about the Middle East with his own political agenda. So it is possible that Al Jazeera’s coverage of Egypt and the banned Muslim Brotherhood is not as fair and unbiased as has been claimed; it’s possible that Greste is not completely innocent.
Part 6
Let me tell you about Stern Hu.
So back to Peter Greste – what should the government do? What do they need to be careful of?
What is clear, however, is that Greste and his colleagues have a right to a fair trial. If there is evidence that they have deliberately broadcast false information, this evidence should be brought forward and they should be given a proper opportunity to defend themselves. The Australian Government needs to use diplomatic channels to push for this. Prime Minister Abbott’s single scant phone call to the Egyptian President is not enough – our government must actively and consistently uphold the legal rights of their citizen. As the months tick on and Greste remains questionably detained without a clear case to answer, our government must act to protect the rights of their citizen; a man trapped alone far from friends and family in a country which, in his words, ‘sees anyone just trying to report alternative views as a threat that needs to be crushed’. [shows first slide again] Thank you. Paul Colman, Year 12 English student, 2014
part 6: Presenting argument
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Sample statement of intention My aim with this speech was to draw attention to the need for our government to ‘actively and consistently uphold the legal rights’ of its citizens, even when to do so might be difficult. I am fascinated by the role of journalists in reporting the truth of the world’s conflicts, and the extent to which some countries will actively campaign against this right in order to preserve their authority. I had followed the case of Peter Greste in the press and was drawn in by his description of Egypt as a country which ‘sees anyone just trying to report alternative views as a threat that needs to be crushed’; I saw this as a brave assessment of the undemocratic climate in this country and decided to produce a speech that argued for the defence of a journalist’s (or any citizen’s) right to protest and right to freedom of expression.
Part 6
To make the issue less abstract, or more human, to my audience of Year 12 students, I opened with a photograph of Greste so that they could put a face to the problem. My opening remarks were emotive – the simile comparing Greste to ‘an animal in a cage’ and imagery describing him as having ‘wasted away in an Egyptian prison for more than 12 months’ were designed to create sympathy and to establish the inhumanity of the Egyptian government. To emphasise this poor treatment I deliberately contrasted the emotive descriptions with Greste’s professional achievements, noting that he is a ‘renowned multi-award-winning journalist who has spent his life reporting’. My aim was to create a sense of injustice, to highlight the inappropriateness of his imprisonment and to establish the need for Australian Government support of his plight.
I then sought to deepen the sense of injustice with evidence, by highlighting Egypt’s commitment to the 1967 International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights and the fact that over 38 000 people have ‘signed a petition calling for an end to Peter Greste’s captivity’. These details were designed to establish the sense that all governments are obliged to follow through on their promises, and by focusing on Egypt’s failure to do so I hoped that my Australian audience would better appreciate the need for ‘our government’ to do better. However I also understood that this is a complex issue, and that there is the issue of national sovereignty to consider – that is, respecting another country’s rights. This is why I introduced the second example, or case study, involving Stern Hu; I used this example to show that a government must be prepared to allow the legal process to run its course, to avoid jumping in too quickly and thereby corrupting the course of justice. This is also why I added the details about Egyptian political instability and the complexity around the Al Jazeera news network – to show that this is a complex and murky issue, which makes it hard for our government to act without hesitation or concern. I wanted my audience to appreciate the various problems that any government faces in such a delicate scenario – to avoid seeing the issue as black and white. I finished with a strong statement of my contention in clear, unambiguous language – that people deserve ‘the right to a fair trial’ and that our government ‘needs to use diplomatic channels to push for this’. I wanted my audience to be left in no doubt about my position, and by returning to the image of Greste on the screen to conclude I hoped to remind everyone of the human cost of inaction.
6.4 Read this extract from a 2014 speech by US President Barack Obama to students at the University of Queensland, before the G20 meeting. This speech focused on climate change at a time when the Australian Government’s reluctance to address the issue contrasted with China’s and the US’s demonstrated commitment by agreeing to substantial greenhouse gas reductions. a Consider how effectively Obama targets his specific audience and directly addresses them at times. The best speakers show genuine engagement with their audiences – this is why Barack Obama is considered such an effective orator. Highlight all of the moments where you can see Obama directly appealing to the audience in question.
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