Riverfront Times, February 12, 2020

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FEBRUARY 12-18, 2020

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MARCH 6-12, 2019

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THE LEDE

PHOTO BY THEO WELLING

“For you and I to get from Point A to Point B in our minds, we take a certain path. We’ve used it enough that it just kind of wears a path. But for him, he doesn’t have that option.

He has to find a different way around. ... That’s all it is.”

CATERINA SLAY, PHOTOGRAPHED WITH HER GREAT NEPHEW AIDEN BRANDES, WHO IS AUTISTIC, AT SHREWSBURY LANES ON FEBRUARY 4

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Doyle Murphy

E D I T O R I A L Managing Editor Liz Miller Arts & Culture Editor Paul Friswold Music Editor Daniel Hill Digital Editor Jaime Lees Staff Writer Danny Wicentowski Restaurant Critic Cheryl Baehr Film Critic Robert Hunt Columnist Ray Hartmann Contributing Writers Jeanette Cooperman, Thomas Crone, Mike Fitzgerald, Joseph Hess, Robert Hunt, MaryAnn Johanson, Roy Kasten, KE Luther, Bob McMahon, Christian Schaeffer, Ymani Wince Proofreader Evie Hemphill Editorial Interns Trenton Almgren-Davis, Kristen Farrah, Hanna Holthaus, Jenna Jones, Monica Obradovic

COVER

Surviving Goliath After decades fighting Catholic clergy abuse, David Clohessy is down but not defeated

A R T Art Director Evan Sult Contributing Photographers Virginia Harold, Monica Mileur, Zia Nizami, Andy Paulissen, Nick Schnelle, Mabel Suen, Theo Welling, Jen West

Cover design by

EVAN SULT

P R O D U C T I O N Production Manager Haimanti Germain

from a photo of David Clohessy by

M U L T I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Advertising Director Colin Bell Senior Account Executive Cathleen Criswell Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel Multimedia Account Executive Jackie Mundy

DANNY WICENTOWSKI and the Cathedral Basilica by

TRENTON ALMGREN-DAVIS

C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

INSIDE The Lede Hartmann

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News Feature Calendar

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Welcome to the Hawley roamin’ empire

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Peking Opera Blues | “Could This Be Love?” | My Bloody Valentine | The Mystery of Irma Vep | Annapurna | etc.

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Film

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Cafe

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Short Orders

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HARTMANN Un-Hawley Alliance State Republicans fall on the sword for politicizing attorney general’s office

W

e’ve got the sequel, Missouri! The Senate Republicans had barely finished tearing the U.S. Constitution into little pieces with its trial hoax. Moscow Mitch McConnell had just delivered the good news to Donald Trump’s witches that they were free to come out of hiding from Sean Hannity’s man cave and would no longer be hunted.

Trump himself was fresh off delivering his illustrious “I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!” speech (caps required by executive order). Many people had just started

saying it was much better than the Gettysburg address.

All these things had just happened in real time, but our Missouri Republican politicians didn’t miss a beat in carrying on the spirit of Trumpism with our localized version of all that drama.

Working off the script provided

by State Auditor Nicole Galloway’s scathing audit of Sen. Josh Hawley’s previous stint as Missouri’s drive-by state attorney general, these Republicans did Dear Leader proud with their outrage over actual facts.

Galloway, acting upon a 2018 referral from none other than Republican Secretary of State Jay Ashcroft, last week released an audit report finding serious fault — but no criminality — with Hawley’s misuse of his office for political purposes. Ashcroft did, of course, come to his own finding of “nothing to see here” with respect to the conduct of Hawley and his office.

Notwithstanding that stunning

development, Galloway continued to go forth with a standard audit of awley and his office after Hawley left for the Senate.

With no disrespect to Galloway, in ordinary times, the apparent misconduct she came across would have come and gone as a “sun rises in the east” passing news story.

To be clear, Galloway’s audit uncovered damning stuff. There’s the ordinary misuse-of-statevehicle sort of thing, but Hawley appears to have done far worse in the misuse of state resources by importing out-of-state political consultants to help run the attorney general’s office and, more importantly, raise his national profile for a .S. Senate race.

That assertion was consistent with what we already knew: that Hawley was preparing his Senate campaign before his parking spot was assigned in the state capitol.

The Kansas City Star reported: “Whether Hawley or his staff broke the law is unclear, the report concludes, because they reg-

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ularly conducted state business off government servers through use of private email and text messaging.” So there was that.

But would anyone who even casually follows state government not have expected Hawley to have used the office for political purposes? In his warped worldview, the A. .’s office was his campaign office. e is who he is.

As the RFT posited last week in a scholarly legal blog post, “being a hypocrite and a narcissistic weasel is not against the law.” So the audit, while interesting enough, has no real consequence to Hawley, who now regards the Beltway as home and Missouri as the tiny farmhouse in which he grew up as a wealthy banker’s son.

Were we not living on Planet Trump, that would be the end of the story. Instead, to the political good fortune of Galloway, Republicans have inexplicably decided to go full Jim Jordan by screaming at the top of the lungs that Hawley has

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been victimized like some immigrant child placed in a cage. (That’s actually not the specific example they used.)

For example, Attorney General Eric Schmitt, heretofore known as a reasonable enough albeit too conservative fellow from our town, has decided that the real culprit is Galloway. Why, yes, it was Galloway who broke the law by releasing the transcripts of depositions with former staff, emails, financial records and other documents.

Said Schmitt, in his finest legalese “As the Chief egal fficer for the state of Missouri, the Attorney eneral’s ffice has repeatedly expressed and continues to express serious concerns with the political nature of this audit and the unprecedented inclusion of transcripts, likely in violation of Missouri Statute 29.200.17, which states in relevant part that ‘audit work papers and related supportive materials shall be kept confidential.’

Galloway responded that it was Schmitt who failed to cooperate with her office and it was he who was politicizing the whole thing.

The traditional he-said-she-said thing ensued.

But if you’d like some back-atyou legalese, Elad Gross, Schmitt’s likely Democratic opponent for attorney general — and a former assistant attorney general under Chris Koster — has already issued a point-by-point refutation of Schmitt’s position, including quite a few parts of RsMO 29.200.17 that the attorney general seems to have overlooked. You can access Gross’ analysis through his edium profile medium.com bigelad.

More easily digested by us lay people, Gross says Schmitt is not only wrong but the one who ought to be under the microscope: “The Attorney General clearly attempted to interfere with an audit requested by the Secretary of State and legally conducted by the Auditor,” Gross said in a public statement. “His attempt to obstruct a corruption investigation — especially considering the Attorney General’s role previously as counsel for the Auditor and as the target of the audit — should be investigated by the Legislature.”

Good luck with that. Even though Gross — who doesn’t get nearly the coverage he deserves — is right, the Republicans won’t be investigating Eric Schmitt any-

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time soon. Most likely they’ll be smart enough not to do anything more than growl at Galloway who, by the way, is technically supposed to be represented by Schmitt owing to their respective offices.

But who needs investigations when we’ve got the essential message from Schmitt to work with: “Don’t read the transcripts!”

Now, that’s something we can relate to, something that makes us feel we’re still part of that whole impeachment cover-up non-trial.

Who doesn’t like irony?

Speaking of that, we must celebrate that we have Hawley in this story. Just to keep the sequel theme, in a recent press statement, Hawley described the audit detailing his obvious abuses as “total exoneration.” Sound familiar? Along with this stunning Trumpspeak for “you didn’t catch me,” Hawley of course followed the master’s plan by unleashing a tweetstorm.

Back on January 14, Hawley launched a torrent of preemptive attacks on Galloway, with the comfort of knowing she was not in a position to defend an audit she hadn’t yet published. He railed about her nefarious connections to Claire McCaskill and the former senator’s campaign manager — how dare a politician have dealings with someone of their party?

— and he called for investigations of the audit and all that.

But that wasn’t the real Tweet Hawley we’ve come to know and love. No, for that, you’ve got to go back to what Hawley was tweeting away in December 2018, right around the time Ashcroft had turned to Galloway for assistance.

Here’s his tweet from December 7: “This complaint about my work as AG by Hillary Clinton henchman David Brock is totally absurd.

This is the SEVENTH legal complaint Democrats have launched against me in last 18 months. All frivolous. All political. Not one has succeeded. Election is over and Dems lost. Get over it.”

Please read those last three words from 2018 again. “Get over it.”

Get over it? If Josh Hawley wasn’t pals with Trump Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, he could sue him for plagiarism. Take a bow, Missouri. Impeachment may be over, but we’re still in the game. n Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhartmann@sbcglobal.net or catch him on St. Louis In the Know with Ray Hartmann from 9 to 11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

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NEWS St. Louis County Police Chief Belmar to Retire Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

S

t. Louis police Chief Jon Belmar announced on Monday he plans to retire in April.

Belmar had weathered rough stretches during his six years leading the force. He took over in 2014 just months before eighteen-year-old Michael Brown was killed by Ferguson police Officer Darren ilson. n recent months, he has faced calls for his resignation sparked by the jawdropping discrimination lawsuit by a gay sergeant who was passed over repeatedly for a promotion.

St. Louis County Executive Sam Page announced on Twitter that Belmar had decided to retire. Page

Suspect Charged in Cabbie Stabbing Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

A

21-year-old woman was charged over the weekend with stabbing a cab driver in Jefferson County.

Ajla Zekan was arrested on Saturday during a traffic stop in St. Louis County, authorities say. Police had been searching for her since February 4 when, they say, she attacked the driver “without notice,” stabbing him eleven times.

She had apparently been grocery shopping that night at the Dierbergs Market off of Tesson Ferry Road, near Mercy Hospital South. The taxi picked her up nearby and drove her to Windemere Drive, south of Arnold. Zekan, who was seated behind the driver, pulled out a four- to six-inch knife and began stabbing the man, according to a probable cause statement.

The driver bolted out of the taxi and ran for help. He was taken to the hospital with “serious injuries to his face, hand, chest,

St. Louis County police Chief Jon Belmar says he will retire in April. | DOYLE MURPHY noted the chief had taken over during a difficult time and had created a diversity unit and helped secure a tax increase to raise officers’ salaries.

“Thanks for your service,” Page added. shoulder and lower torso,” authorities say.

The driver, 47-year-old Inam Allah Khattak, told KMOV News 4 that Zekan had him stop for cigarettes, but her debit card was rejected. She then had him pull up to a garage, claiming her father would pay him.

Instead, she started stabbing him, he said.

“She told me, ‘I want to kill you,’” Khattak, who goes by “Sunny” and drives for United Cab, told the television station.

After Khattak fled, Zekan is accused of climbing into his seat and driving off in the minivan. The next day, the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office circulated photos from one of the grocery store surveillance cameras, reportedly showing her shortly before the stabbing.

She was taken into custody on Saturday

by St. Louis County police. The same day, Jefferson County prosecutors filed charges of first-degree assault, armed criminal action and tampering with a motor vehicle.

Zekan’s criminal court history is limited, mostly traffic cases. She has a pending stealing charge in St. Louis County.

In that case, the judge issued a restraining order, banning her from any contact with the victim or Mercy Hospital, unless “medically necessary.”

In December of 2018, she was listed as a missing person on a Missouri State

The police department sent out a news release shortly after, highlighting a 34-year career with the county. During his tenure as chief, the department swelled to 1,020 officers and 3 2 professional staff employees — a significant ump from the 53 officers and 2 staffers when he succeeded retiring Chief Tim Fitch in 2014.

Belmar’s future had seemed rocky since October when the county lost a discrimination lawsuit to ieutenant Keith ildhaber in stunning, and expensive, fashion. ildhaber, then a sergeant, contended that the department leadership, including Belmar, denied him promotions nearly two dozen times because of his sexuality.

A ury originally awarded ildhaber a nearly $20 million verdict. (Page announced Monday evening the county has instead negotiated a $10.25 million settlement.) The county has since promoted ildhaber and installed him as the head of a new diversity unit.

Page also replaced four members of the five-person St. ouis County Board of Police Commissioners, the board that oversees

Ajla Zekan is charged with first-degree assault.

COURTESY JEFFERSON COUNTY POLICE Highway Patrol database, but that notice was later removed.

In her past court cases, she has listed an address at a Sappington condo complex, but the Jefferson County Sheriff’s detective described her as homeless in the probable cause statement.

After her arrest in the stabbing, she was held by St. Louis County but was expected to be transferred to the Jefferson County Jail. Her bond is $500,000. n

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the police chief. “ or months, have been listening to council members, police board members, the police chief, activists and community leaders about the police department’s future,” Page said in a statement days after the verdict. “The time for leadership changes has come, and change must start at the top.”

The county executive referenced those comments in a follow-up statement on Monday. “ have said all along that change begins at the top and it did, with my appointment of 4 new members to the five-member olice Board,” Page said in the statement. “ encouraged Chief Belmar to lead the olice Department through the transition and he has.”

Page added that Belmar had previously told him he was considering retiring this year, so his decision seemed to be “in the natural course of his plans.” n ctober, county Councilwoman isa Clancy called for Belmar’s resignation, citing a problematic “culture” within the department.

After the chief announced retirement, she tweeted it was “the right decision for St. Louis County.” n his statement, Belmar thanked his officers but gave no reason for leaving. “ t has been an honor to work with and for the women and men of the St. ouis County olice Department,” Belmar said in the news release. “ he dedication, sacrifice, and bravery of those that work for this Department is unmatched.

The citizens and businesses of St. Louis County deserve nothing but the best, and firmly believe they receive that from us every day.”

Chairman of the Board of Police Commissioners Ray Price also released a statement, thanking Belmar.

“On behalf of the Board of Police Commissioners, would like to thank Chief Belmar for his 34 years of service to the citizens of St. Louis County,” Price said. “Because of his work, and the work of all the other members of the Department, the St. ouis County olice Department is one of the finest police Departments in the country.”

Belmar’s last day is scheduled to be April 30. Page said he has already begun discussing the department’s future leadership with the police commission. n

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After nearly 30 years leading SNAP, David Clohessy reflects on a career of controversies, press revelations and the battles still to come. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI

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After decades fighting Catholic clergy abuse, David Clohessy is down, but not defeated

BY DANNY WICENTOWSKI

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n June 13, 2002, David Clohessy stepped into the light of history. A former altar boy in a rural Catholic church in Moberly, Missouri, he stood at a podium in a massive hotel ballroom in Dallas — and staring back at him from row up upon row of tables, packed into the room ten-deep, were some 280 Catholic bishops.

Many in that audience were already familiar with Clohessy as the national director of Survivors Network of those Abused

by Priests, or SNAP, the country’s longest-active support group for victims of clergy abuse. Clohessy had spent years trying to grab the bishops’ attention.

Indeed, Clohessy seemed to be quoted in every other newspaper story about a predator priest going back to the early 1990s. He’d show up at churches with iers listing support group meetings for victims, and he’d prod reporters to cover the protest. He held press conferences with tearful victims announcing lawsuits. He insisted on calling accused priests “perps.”

He was, in a word, a nuisance to the Catholic Church. And until that moment in 2002, that’s all he

had ever been.

That day, with his squareframed glasses slightly askew and his outfit of a simple gray suit and white shirt, the SNAP director looked more like an accountant than the radical victims’ rights advocate. But this meeting of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops was focused specifically on the exploding clergy abuse scandal — and it had drawn the eyes of the world.

After a smattering of applause, Clohessy began his speech. From almost the moment he opened his mouth, even before describing the local priest who molested him as a boy, he started to cry.

“I’ve been encouraged to talk about my personal experience, being molested, sodomized by Father John Whiteley in the Diocese

of Jefferson City, and the effects it’s had on my life,” Clohessy said.

“I could describe nights curling up in the fetal position and sobbing hysterically while my wife Laurie simply held me, and having to get up and change the bedsheets because they were soaked in tears.

I could talk about nightmares, depression, sexual problems. About how, even now, almost every day I fundamentally somehow feel like a fraud.”

But whatever self-doubt Clohessy’s trauma left in him, the emptiness and pain, there was no hesitance in his voice when he addressed the bishops about their role in the coming reckoning. He addressed them as “smart men” who “know the right thing to do.”

“Fundamentally, it’s simple. hat causes sexual abuse? hat’s complicated. How to begin to treat these men or cure them? hat’s complicated. What to do when an abuse survivor walks in your door?

“Gentlemen,” Clohessy said, “I submit to you, it is not complicated.”

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ven for Clohessy, who is fond of rhetorical ourishes, his message to the bishops still stands as an almost too-perfect shot of understatement. In reality, no scenario has been more fraught

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with moral, religious and legal complexity than the moments after a survivor brings their story to a church official. or years, Clohessy had been trying to convince the public that the church’s typical reactions — the blunt denials, secretive settlements and retaliatory lawsuits — were, as he put it in the speech, like applying a “dirty bandage” to an “infected wound.”

This was the dawning of the era of the investigations chronicled in the 2015 movie Spotlight, as the Boston Globe began publishing the stories that would not just reveal a systemic cover-up of clergy abuse in Boston, but the entire United States. The stories would win the paper a Pulitzer Prize in 2003 and usher in a new era of greater scrutiny and accountability.

Eighteen years have passed since that day in Dallas. Despite Clohessy’s pronouncement of simplicity, the sub ect is as complex as ever.

For SNAP, an organization that had for years thrived with a tiny and nimble staff, its recent history has been defined by multiple lawsuits and internal strife. The hits came in a rattling sequence during a span of six months at the end of 2016. SNAP, which was no stranger to being sued by priests, was taken to civil court by one of its former

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SURVIVING GOLIATH Continued from pg 13

employees who accused it of running a kickback scheme with attorneys; then SNAP announced it had reached a defamation settlement with a priest it had once labeled a “cunning predator.”

Finally, adding organizational injury to legal insult, SNAP lost its triumvirate of officers in a wave of resignations, starting with Clohessy.

SNAP’s longtime critics in the Catholic world cackled, and even mainstream outlets ran stories that linked the resignations to the organization’s run of controversies. At the time, the story appeared to be a simple one: SNAP fought the church, it spent several years getting walloped, and now it was crushed.

One of Clohessy’s longest allies, clergy abuse attorney Jeff Anderson, believes there’s truth to the notion that in SNAP’s lowest moments, its opponents took the upper hand.

“The Catholic bishops had the resources and ability to overwhelm SNAP. It was a mismatch,” he says, adding. “Goliath slayed David.”

T

he funny thing is, David Clohessy never really went away.

In a series of wide-ranging interviews earlier this month, Clohessy sat down with the Riverfront Times to re ect on a career in survivor advocacy that, at least for the moment, is in something he calls “a dip.”

That’s one way to describe it. In the past three years, Clohessy says he’s undergone several trips to the emergency room, four surgeries and 30 sessions of chemotherapy.

These days, most of Clohessy’s activism is confined to a two-story home at the back of a quiet cul-desac in St. Louis’ Ellendale neighborhood. On a recent afternoon, a circular wooden table in the dining room is covered with the accessories of his ongoing work.

There’s a laptop, several newspapers and an apparent explosion of incongruous printouts and notes.

Underneath some of those notes is a large planning calendar with a date marked for an upcoming MRI. Another pile of papers hides a small plastic basket filled with pill bottles.

When I tell Clohessy about Anderson’s metaphor that compares him to David getting stomped by a Catholic Goliath, he laughs.

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” he says, chuckling through his sarcasm.

“The church gave me cancer! And

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Clohessy and SNAP have staged hundreds of protests against clergy abuse. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI it gave me a brain tumor!”

It had started with throat cancer. Then came a second diagnosis, for prostate cancer.

“Actually, Clohessy now clarifies, “the third thing I got was a brain tumor, in that order.” His tumor is non-cancerous, which is doubly significant as it was a brain tumor that cut short the life of Clohessy’s older brother Brian in 1993.

Clohessy is 63 now. He’s focusing on his health, working out at the local YMCA every day and continuing to see doctors to monitor his cancers. If he had energy, he says, he would still be on the road, pulling 60-hour weeks and hounding state investigators to keep the pressure on Catholic bishops.

But he’s tired. or the first time in his life, he can’t get through a day without a nap.

When Clohessy stepped down as SNAP director in December 2016, he insisted that his health was the driving motivation for leaving a role he’d held for nearly 30 years. He adds now that it was his emotional health as well. In the last five years of his directorship, SNAP had faced two major legal attacks by priests, in Kansas City and St. Louis, and both sought a judge’s order to allow them to access the network’s library of survivor statements and documents.

To Clohessy, it was a dire reversal. “In a very short period of time, a group that had spent its history playing offense was suddenly having to play substantial defense,” he says. “There was real thought that we were not going to survive.”

But they did, and now, thanks to medical intervention, Clohessy has survived his own brush with an existential threat. e’s now technically a volunteer spokesman for SNAP. Still, after a lifetime of running, it feels strange to stop and take a

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breath.

“I have a dismal track record of predicting the arc of my own life,” Clohessy admits — but unlike Anderson’s biblical metaphor, he doesn’t see that arc as one of defeat.

“If this were somehow a battle to crush or hurt the church, then yeah, we’re losers,” Clohessy concedes. “But that’s never what this has been about.”

D

avid Clohessy was born in 1958 to a devout Catholic family in Moberly, a small farming town about 35 miles north of Columbia. he second of six children, he grew up in the embrace of the church, which was just down the block.

He was an altar boy and a precocious student: According to a 1969 story in the Moberly Monitor-Index, he’d participated in that year’s annual St. Pius Civic Oration Contest — a competition in which the then-seventh-grade Clohessy had placed runner-up for his speech on the given subject, “Family Unity in Our Changing Times.”

That year, Father John Whiteley came into his life.

“He basically became my dad’s best friend,” Clohessy recalls. “He came over to the house all the time. And he charmed the socks off of all of us.”

The charm soon became something else. Clohessy’s parents were delighted a priest was taking a personal interest in their son, and they readily signed off on trips between the priest and middle schooler. They traveled the country, camping, skiing, canoeing and hiking. At night, they slept in motels, tents or Whiteley’s RV. “First time I saw the ocean. First time I saw the mountains. First time I saw a big city besides St. Louis. Everything was with him,”

he says. “It was always the same pattern, every night, every time it happened. I would be asleep, I’d wake up, and ’d find him on top of me.”

When it started, Clohessy was twelve years old.

“Eventually, he’d stop, and he’d roll off me and he’d fall asleep.

I’d lay there, just dazed and paralyzed. Eventually, I’d fall asleep.”

But something happened between the moment Clohessy fell asleep and the moment he opened his eyes the next day.

“I’d wake up,” he says, “with absolutely no memory of it whatsoever.”

It would be decades before the memories came back to him, jarred loose in 1988 during an innocuous viewing of the film Nuts, whose main character is revealed to have been abused as a child.

Suddenly, the memories of those nights, of Whiteley on top of him, became a bomb going off in his mind. Clohessy broke down and started going to therapy. Soon after, he found a support group for survivors of clergy abuse based in Chicago. It was called SNAP. Clohessy decided to take action.

He wanted Whiteley to answer for what he’d done. But he’d never considered the possibility that he might not be the only victim.

“It didn’t even cross my mind that he might have molested someone else in my family,” he continues. “Until I started making phone calls to my siblings.”

The reality was worse than even the one buried in his memories. While Whiteley had focused most of his attention on young David, the priest had made similar advances on multiple Clohessy children, including David’s older brother Brian — who had placed first in the same 19 9 essay contest on family unity — and younger brothers Patrick and Kevin.

David Clohessy’s call to Kevin would prove significant for another reason. By then, Kevin was an ordained Catholic priest serving the Jefferson City diocese, the same diocese which Clohessy aimed to sue for its failure to protect him from Father Whiteley.

Clohessy assumed this might create a complication for Kevin; he worried that naming his brother’s diocese as a defendant could drag him into the case.

At the time, though, Clohessy couldn’t have known just how complicated it really was.

“I told Kevin about Father Whiteley, and he said, ‘It happened to me too.’” Clohessy recalls. “And then he said something that at the time sounded reasonable and now sounds chilling.”

According to Clohessy, Kevin ended the conversation with, “We should probably not talk anymore.”

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hat summer of 1991, Clohessy filed his lawsuit against Whiteley and Jefferson City diocese. By then, the aging priest had already passed through a dozen assignments across Missouri. (He would soon after leave the priesthood.) During a press conference, Clohessy was anked by his attorney Jeff Anderson, one of the first lawyers to speciali e in priest abuse cases in the country.

Anderson is a former public defender based in St. Paul, Minnesota, and he was already famous for bringing cases against the church — he had ust filed the first-ever lawsuit directly against a Catholic bishop — but Whiteley’s alleged crime was more than twenty years old, far beyond Missouri’s statute of limitations. Though Anderson would fight the case all the way to the Missouri Supreme Court, the lawsuit was ultimately doomed.

Clohessy’s case was far from the only one Anderson had seen tossed to the wayside because of the legal system’s broken understanding about childhood sex abuse, which failed to acknowledge that survivors might need more time to file their cases.

“The trial court hid behind the statute of limitations,” Anderson says, “just like trial courts across the country did.”

In any case, the litigation took years — and Anderson started seeing his client’s name in the newspaper. Clohessy had become the public face of SNAP, and in the process, became “without question the most in uential and elo uent survivor voice in the media.”

“I saw David emerge,” Anderson says. “David became what I would call a ‘clearinghouse’ for messaging around child protection and the priorities that survivors have.”

With Clohessy as its face, SNAP was reaching more survivors and building a network of support groups in dozens of cities — which, naturally, led to more litigation brought by survivors. The lawsuits created a steady drumbeat of headlines and settlements.

And usually, the drum beating the loudest belonged to Clohessy.

But rather than activism, Clohessy says that it was SNAP’s primary role as a support group that first drew him in. or the first time in his life, he met survivors who had gone through similar traumas in parishes all over the country. At some weekend gatherings, he says, he basically never

stopped crying.

The process was slow, but he put his life back together. That was good enough. There was no bigger picture — yet.

“We weren’t trying to piece anything together,” he recalls, noting that the trauma of childhood sex abuse had followed many survivors into adulthood in the form of depression, drug abuse and suicide.

There were other, more telling similarities in the damaged ranks that showed up to the support groups. Clohessy brings up a memory of one of his first S A group meetings, a day when he’d listened as a room full of survivors described their attempts to talk to church officials at their schools and parishes.

Clohessy remembers looking at SNAP founder Barbara Blaine, who herself had been sexually abused as a child by a parish priest in Toledo, Ohio.

“After the last person talked, she was shaking her head, and she started laughing.”

Clohessy had been shocked but remembers Blaine telling the group she’d noticed something in their talks. “Did you just hear what we all said? very one of us said the same version of this sentence” — here Clohessy launches into an imitation of Blaine, dragging and emphasizing her response in a singsong pantomime of naivete.

“Well, I talked to myyyyyy bishop, and myyyyyy pastor, and they said I was the first person to ever report aaaanything like this in our diocese.”

Clohessy remembers it as a moment of revelation. They couldn’t all be exceptions, right? hey couldn’t all be “first-time victims — after all, some priests, such as Whiteley, abused multiple children only to be transferred, with a bishop’s blessing, to a new parish.

“We all started laughing,” Clohessy recalls. “Like, that just simply can’t be.”

Blaine and Clohessy would go on to become the dual powerhouses of SNAP, with Blaine’s organizational ambition establishing SNAP chapters in every U.S. state and nine countries. Meanwhile, Clohessy applied his professional skills in community organizing for labor and environmental groups to the issue of priest abuse. He staged press conferences and met with victims, steadily churning out mentions in news stories throughout the 1990s.

This was the decade when, for the first time, the atican began its crawl to finally admitting that something was very wrong in Continued on pg 16

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SURVIVING GOLIATH Continued from pg 15

the clergy. Addressing the issue for the first time in a 1993 letter to Roman Catholic bishops, Pope John Paul II wrote that he felt “sorrow and concern” for victims. The pontiff’s letter began with a quotation from Matthew 18:7: “Woe to the world because of scandals!”

It would be a decade of scandal, and more, for the Catholic Church.

By the time Clohessy spoke to the bishops in June 2002, the Boston Globe had already started publishing the first of the 500plus stories it would run that year on the mechanics of the church’s cover-ups. This was the year of the “Spotlight” investigations.

Two months before the bishop’s conference, in April 2002, the newspaper ran a front-page story about a whistleblower in Rolla named Donna Cox. Before she was fired by the Diocese of Jefferson City, she had spent years as a lay youth minister working with the high-school-age students in the St. Thomas Aquinas Seminary in Hannibal.

The Globe story revealed that Cox had been terminated in 1992, not long after her attempt to warn church officials about troubling incidents involving six priests — five of whom were eventually removed from ministry after additional reports of abuse.

The story led with the fact that the seminary had spent 25 years under the directorship of Bishop Anthony J. O’Connell, who acknowledged in 2002 that he’d abused multiple victims. But there was another name that stood out in the story: the Reverend Kevin Clohessy.

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avid Clohessy had known about the accusations against his brother Kevin for nearly a decade before the Globe story ran in the spring of 2002. He’d even called Kevin the night before its publication to warn him of the impending media storm.

“I know this is going to make your life really hard,” Clohessy remembers telling him over the phone. Kevin had responded, “Thanks for the heads up.”

Days after the Globe story broke, the Associated Press ran a followup, focusing solely on the doubly dramatic saga of the brothers Clohessy. The reporting added further information from the Diocese of Jefferson City, which confirmed that Kevin Clohessy had been removed from his post in a Catholic student

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In September, Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt revealed that church personnel files showed 163 priest abuse cases, but none have been criminally charged yet. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI center because of “sexual contact with an 18-year-old in 1993.”

After that, the diocese had transferred Kevin to a treatment center, and then reinstalled him in the tiny town of Taos near Jefferson City. Several years later, he left the ministry.

It was a perfect soap opera — the priest brother of the country’s foremost voice for sexual abuse survivors was himself an accused abuser. And that’s how the Associated Press ran it, under the headline, “2 Brothers: 1 is activist; 1 is priest accused of abuse.”

The most detailed account of the Clohessy family drama came one month later when New York Times journalist Frank Bruni reported on the case based on Cox’s accounts and the diocese’s description of “inappropriate and serious” behavior with an 18-year-old victim. Bruni wrote that “Kevin’s specific transgression ... hovered at a murky intersection between a possibly repressed homosexuality, which was being channeled inappropriately, and outright molestation.”

David Clohessy knows how it looks: Just two months after the Globe story ran, during his emotional speech in Dallas, he pleaded with Catholic bishops to make the right choice, to “fight the temptation to turn away from the horror.”

He made no mention of Kevin in that speech.

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uring one of our recent interviews, I ask Clohessy to reconcile the apparent contradiction. For years, a handful of conservative Catholic blogs and religious pundits, most prominently Catholic League President Bill Donahue, who once called Clohessy “a con artist driven by revenge,”

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pounced on the easy argument: that Clohessy is a hypocrite.

After all, here was the head of SNAP, protesting in front of churches, demanding bishops divulge names and histories for priests accused of abuse, and yet ...

“For nine years,” Clohessy says, completing my sentence, “I knew about my brother and didn’t call the police.”

But to say that Clohessy failed to act isn’t, strictly speaking, the truth.

After first learning that an abuse allegation had followed his brother out of a parish in 1993, he says he confronted Kevin over the phone — and went as far as contacting police departments in the Missouri towns of Kirksville and Taos.

He says those efforts came to nothing. He didn’t have any evidence to offer, didn’t know of any witnesses or even how many victims might be out there.

Still, the case presents a distinct contrast: Over the years, Clohessy and SNAP had launched numerous public campaigns to alert parishes to the past presence of accused priests — sometimes coming right out and calling them “predator perps” before lawsuits had been filed.

Asked about it now, Clohessy maintains there was no hypocrisy and that he did exactly what he would have advised another survivor in the same situation to do.

“During that period, we were painfully aware of what it took to ‘out’ a priest,” he says. “I knew what it took. Kevin never admitted it, never been charged, never been sued. A church employee had reported him and nothing happened. Is there any reason for me to think that if I said, ‘Hey, I think he did it, too,’ that the bishop would do anything different?

Of course not.”

When it came to his brother, Clohessy was on his own, and out of the spotlight. He called the cops, called Kevin and says he gave his blessing to “dozens” of reporters persuing the story. Many considered it, but nothing hit the public eye until the Globe’s piece in 2002.

That piece had a lot to do with Clohessy. He says he connected the Globe reporter with Donna Cox, knowing that her story would intersect with Kevin — and he knew this because Cox was the one who first told him that church officials had removed Kevin from service in 1993.

Still, this was hardly the first reporter he talked to about Kevin. As the New York Times’ Bruni would later write, Clohessy thought it was unlikely the Globe would publish his brother’s name, since he had never been formally charged or sued.

That is, until the diocese itself put it in the public record. In 2002, church officials in Jefferson City confirmed to reporters that a credible accusation had been made against Kevin. It was out in the open.

Today, there’s almost no trace of Kevin Clohessy. It appears he worked for a time in a funeral home in Columbia until at least 2012, and his funeral director’s license is still active with the secretary of state. From there, the trail goes cold.

Clohessy’s actions would forever damage his relationship with his parents. They believed Kevin had been falsely accused, and that rift was never fully healed.

The brothers have barely spoken in the last two decades. Clohessy says their last substantial conversation was in the 1990s.

There is no easy reconciliation here. Two boys, both abused by the same priest, went on to lead very different lives. Kevin was compelled to stay in the church, and he was protected, at least temporarily, by its fortress of secrecy. David left the church and tried to tear its walls down from the outside.

It’s complicated. It’s simple.

“The safest, easiest thing to do, at any time, in any situation, is to do nothing,” Clohessy says. “Ultimately, the plain and simple truth is I did out my brother. I did what I thought I could do. I don’t know how I could live with myself if I didn’t.”

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avid Clohessy leans back on the living-room sofa and watches his blackhaired poodle, Vinnie, snoring in a furry pile by his lap. This is the sofa on which

Clohessy often falls asleep while wearing the prescribed medical compression garments that help move uid around his body, a task which, until recently, was accomplished by his now-removed lymph nodes.

“I’m not ever going to be 100 percent again,” he admits. “One of my greatest failings is that I’m not able to maintain balance. This crisis can so easily become allconsuming for me.”

That’s what a crisis does, though. It consumes. And in 2018, Clohessy couldn’t sit the latest crisis out, no matter what his title at SNAP was.

In August of that year, the Pennsylvania ffice of Attorney eneral released the result of an explosive two-year grand jury investigation, which had evaluated hundreds of thousands of pages of documents and heard testimony from dozens of witnesses. The report named 300 priests, who were accused of abusing more than 1,000 children in cases stretching back 40 years.

And for the first time, Clohessy notes, the report named bishops, the “enablers,” as he calls them, who shu ed previously accused priests to other parishes in the diocese — or, in the case of nine Pennsylvania priests, relocated them to Catholic rehabilitation fa-

cilities in St. Louis.

Clohessy turned up outside the Cathedral Basilica of Saint Louis to protest and demand the archdiocese release more information on the priests and investigate whether there were other local cases of potential abuse — the same sort of demand he’s made hundreds of times in the past.

There are some things that were different, however, from the SNAP of old. Barbara Blaine, whose mid-support-session laughter had sparked an epiphany for Clohessy, had died suddenly of a heart condition only a few months after her own resignation from SNAP in 2017. The third member of SNAP’s longstanding triumvirate, Barbara Dorris, who served as the outreach director, also resigned that year. (Reached by email, Dorris declined to be interviewed for this story.)

But SNAP is moving on. In 2018, SNAP’S board appointed Zach Hiner, a former assistant to Blaine, as the group’s new executive director. Its website lists dozens of support groups for victims, including St. Louis.

In 2015, Clohessy again approached the diocese in Jefferson City about the “effects of betrayal” he suffered during four years of abuse by Whiteley. He asked the

Clergy abuse attorney Jeff Anderson says the church “depleted” SNAP through lawsuits. | ANDERSON AND ASSOCIATES diocese to post names of problem priests, warn Catholics living near Whiteley’s home in Florida and pay $200,000 to cover the cost of decades of therapy. This time, the diocese responded, eventually writing him a check for $40,000 but rebuffing his other re uests.

The progress for victims has been slow like that. Clohessy, though, shows no signs he’s looking for an exit strategy. here’s too much to do: The attorneys general in Missouri and Illinois launched investigations in the wake of Pennsylvania’s, but Clohessy has al-

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ready condemned both for being “woefully inadequate” projects for relying on the church’s voluntary disclosure of personnel files. his is the next chapter of the story, the one which Clohessy and SNAP helped author for nearly three decades. Dioceses across the U.S., which for so long resisted naming priests, are now falling over themselves to do so.

“Bishops see the writing on the wall,” Clohessy says. “They see that unless they make belated, grudging, pseudo-reforms, judges and lawmakers are going to make real reforms.”

That substantive legal action is what Clohessy still waits for — he wants the legislature to amend the laws around statute of limitations and create a “civil window” for victims to sue their abusers as adults. He has little regard for the Missouri attorney general’s announcement in September that it had found 163 priest abuse cases in the files of the Archdiocese of St. Louis since the release didn’t include the priests’ names and only twelve of those cases are still prosecutable.

Five months have passed, and none of those cases have progressed to criminal charges. Clohessy isn’t holding his breath. He

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SURVIVING GOLIATH Continued from pg 17

wants Missouri to empower its attorney general, Eric Schmitt, the way Pennsylvania did its own Josh Shapiro — with a grand jury and a fusillade of subpoenas, the sort of resources needed to drag a full accounting of the state’s predator priests into the light.

For Clohessy, that day in 2002 when he faced the bishops in that Dallas hotel was just the beginning of a story he knows will outlive him. It’s a simple story, of victims taking action in the face of stupefying odds. It’s a complicated story, filled with impossible choices, broken families and endless lawsuits. But it’s what comes next that matters most.

For Clohessy, Goliath isn’t the church — it’s the things that keeps survivors silent, alone and unbelieved. It is power. It is institution.

And Goliath still stands.

“What gives me hope is that every single day, a survivor tells their husband, their mom, calls the police, calls a journalist, goes to AA, gets their GED,” Clohessy says. “We were once powerless, we’re not powerless now, and I would beg victims of any kind of violence anywhere: Err on the side of action.”

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At the 2002 conference in Dallas, Clohessy asked U.S. Catholic bishops to resist the temptation to “turn away from the horror” of the abuse in their midst. | SCREENSHOT VIA C-SPAN Clohessy’s own place in history began with action. It was during that 2002 speech to the U.S. Catholic bishops, which is preserved in video by C-SPAN archives.

At the time, Clohessy was busier than he’d ever been, fielding do ens of calls per day on the SNAP phone lines. He heard from victims who were just starting to understand what happened to them. They were survivors who had recognized

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their abuser’s name in a Spotlight story. They were people who had believed, for years, that maybe they really were the only ones.

It just couldn’t be.

As he spoke to the bishops that day, Clohessy reached inside his jacket pocket and produced a photo of 27-year-old Eric Patterson, one of five cases of suicide involving five former altar boys. he story of their alleged abuse by a Kan-

sas priest would be reported one month later in devastating detail by both the Wichita Eagle and Boston Globe. The stories would eventually lead to criminal charges — and so Clohessy was beating the newspapers to the story. Of course, the bishops would read the details soon enough, but he was going to tell them about it anyway.

“One perpetrator, some of you may know of,” Clohessy said, his words struggling through his tears.

“Father Larson in Wichita Kansas. ive young men — e sexually violated five young men, and five of them have taken their own lives.”

Clohessy held up the photo. He said Eric Patterson’s name. And then he did something that, oddly, is not included in the written version of the speech currently available on the website of United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Clohessy asked the crowd to pass the photo around the room.

He asked them “to think of Eric, and say a prayer for him and his family.”

Clohessy left the stage, and the C-SPAN camera tracked him as he approached the nearest table, his hand extended with the photo of a dead young man. A bishop took it.

The camera followed the photo as it was passed, hand to hand, bishop to bishop, down the line. n

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20

CALENDAR

BY PAUL FRISWOLD

Jean-François Millet, French, 1814–1875; Starry Night, c. 1850-1865; oil on canvas; 25 3/4 x 32 inches; Yale University Art Gallery, Leonard C. Hanna, Jr., Class of 1913, Fund 2020.44

THURSDAY 02/13 Hong Kong Beauty Hark Tsui’s martial arts comedy Peking Opera Blues was the first of his films to hit the American arthouse circuit back in the 19 0s, but it’s not an easy film for a esterner to follow unless you’re a keen historian of the Chinese evolution . Still, there’s a great deal of visual appeal and action to tide you over. Brigitte in, Sally eh and Cherie Chung are three strangers thrown together by the rising chaos of 1920s China. Sun at-Sen is waging war against the empire in hopes of establishing a new republic, and various warlords are trying to grab as much power as they can. Brigitte in plays the cross-dressing sao an, whose father is a general.

Sally eh is aspiring opera star at eil, whose ambition is thwarted by the long-standing tradition of men playing women’s roles on stage, while Cherie Chung is a petty thief. ogether they run from the palace to Bei ing heater, trying to do what they think is best. here’s much footage of the amboyant Chinese pera, as well as rooftop fights, narrow escapes and some slapstick comedy. t’s a visual feast. Peking Opera Blues

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is shown by the ebster ilm Series at p.m. hursday, ebruary 13, at ebster niversity’s oore

Winslow Homer, American, 1836–1910; The Bright Side, 1865; oil on canvas; 12 3/4 × 17 inches; Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, Gift of Mr. and Mrs. John D. Rockefeller 3rd 2020.55 Auditorium 0 ast ockwood Avenue www.webster.edu filmseries . ickets are 5 to .

FRIDAY 02/14 Love in Motion f you’re tired of the dinner-anda-movie route for alentine’s Day, maybe it’s time to step up to dinner and a ballet. he Saint ouis Ballet oins forces with the Arianna String uartet to present a romantic evening titled “Could This Be Love?” he centerpiece is the ballet The American, which was choreographed by Christopher heeldon for the Broadway musical An American in Paris. he piece is set to Dvorak’s String Quartet No. 12 in F Major, which is set to the climactic ballet performance at the end of the musical. t should set an appropriately romantic mood. Also on the program are new ballets by company artistic director en oriuchi and mery eCrone. “Could his Be ove? is performed at p.m. riday and Saturday and 2 30 p.m. Sunday ebruary 1 to 1 at the ouhill erforming Arts Center on the niversity of issouri-St. ouis campus 1 niversity Drive at atural Bridge oad www.stlouisballet.org . ickets are 3 to 59.

Peaks and Valleys Laurie McConnell and John Pierson in Annapurna at St. Louis Actors’ Studio. | STLAS.COM

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lysses is dying in a s ualid cabin, with the ocky ountains his only

WEEK OF FEBRUARY 13-19 endary haunted house will be open for business from to 10 p.m. Saturday, ebruary 15, with gruesome grooms and blood-spattered lurking throughout. he entirety of the Darkness has been rethemed for alentine’s Day, with a lovelorn soul named icky at the center of it. icky never had a date, and now she’s coming back with demons in tow to seek her revenge on the male gender. f you really want to test yourself, there’s a new coffin-escape challenge, during which you have five minutes to get out of a coffin. ickets for y Bloody alentine are 25, and only 1,000 will be released, so don’t dawdle.

A Mystery Is Afoot Jean-François Millet, French, 1814–1875; Summer, The Gleaners, 1853; oil on canvas; 15 1/16 × 11 9/16 inches; Yamanashi Prefectural Museum of Art 2020.80 witnesses — until his one-time wife mma shows up. nce he was a poet and college professor with a wife and a son, but now he has only his oxygen tank and his filth. eunited after two decades apart, mma and lysses rehash their broken past and why she ultimately abandoned him in the middle of the night, taking their son with her. Sharr hite’s drama Annapurna charts a course into the unsteady territory of love and loss, and what’s on the other side of both. St. ouis Actors’ Studio presents Annapurna at p.m. hursday through Saturday and 3 p.m. Sunday ebruary 1 to arch 1 at the aslight heatre 35 orth Boyle Avenue www. stlas.org . ickets are 30 to 35.

SATURDAY 02/15 Valentine’s Fright f you forgot to book a restaurant for alentine’s Day and you’re worried it’s too late to have a special evening with that special someone, fear not. he Darkness 1525 South ighth Street www. scarefest.com is once again celebrating the holiday of love with My Bloody Valentine. he leg-

rma ep is the new bride of ord dgar illcrest, who may not be entirely over the mysterious death of his first wife, ady nid. rma attempts to settle in to the stately andacrest estate, but both the housekeeper, Jane, and the houseboy, icodemus, mourn their former mistress too much for rma to be comfortable. By the time the werewolves are howling on the moor and the portrait of ady nid is spewing fog, even ord dgar feels he has to investigate. So off he pops to gypt to resume his work in ancient tombs, and then things at home really go pear-shaped. Charles udlam’s ictorian-horror-comedy spoof The Mystery of Irma Vep creates supernatural amounts of laughter from nothing more than two actors and a sharp eye for the cliches and coincidences of B-movies. he epertory heatre of St. ouis presents The Mystery of Irma Vep uesday through Sunday ebruary 1 to arch at the oretto- ilton Center 130 dgar oad www.repstl.org . ickets are 20 to 9 .50.

SUNDAY 02/16 Dog Dash he costume traditions of ardi ras are not ust for humans, and the Purina Pet Parade is the proof. n Sunday, ebruary 1 , beloved dogs who are comfortable wearing clothes, costumes or ex-

Saint Louis Ballet dances to the song of love this weekend. | COURTESY OF SAINT LOUIS BALLET, PHOTO BY PRATT KREIDICH otic outfits gather with their people at South 12th Street and Allen Avenue www.stlmardigras.org for the 1 p.m. parade of pooches. t’s free to watch, and if you believe your dog has the charisma and “wow factor to be named one of the best-dressed pets in the parade, it’s only 10 to register a single canine the udges will select the most gloriously attired pups for the Court of the ystical Krewe of Barkus at the Coronation ageant, where the King and ueen of Barkus will be anointed with their crowns. egistration fees help the pen Door Animal Sanctuary.

And don’t forget the wiener dogs Starting at 2 p.m. at Soulard arket ark afayette Avenue and South ighth Street , those dashing dachshunds will be separated into four categories and then race in six-dog heats to determine who is the fastest frank-shaped dog during ito’s iener Dog Derby. t costs 10 to enter your dog in the race, and admission is free for spectators, although watching options are available.

Father of Modern Art Jean- ran ois illet’s fingerprints are all over the works of an

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ogh, onet, Camille issarro and unch, but his in uence on modern painting is not well known. By the time of his death in 1 5 he was one of the best-known modern painters, revered both for his skill and his pioneering sub ect matter. illet was at the forefront of using rural laborers, landscapes and nudes as his sub ects, and indeed many of his individual paintings were later recreated or at least reimagined by his successors. an ogh’s famous Starry Night over the hone iver bears more than a passing resemblance to illet’s earlier Starry Night, which depicts a night sky over the countryside. an ogh’s devotion to illet was complete, calling the elder painter “ ather illet. Millet and Modern Art: From Van Gogh to Dalí, the new exhibition at the Saint ouis Art useum 1 ine Arts Drive www.slam.org , features an astonishing number of illet’s paintings paired with those of the artists he in uenced. he exhibition resets Jean- ran ois illet at the forefront of modern art as an innovator and radical who pushed painting into a new era. Millet and Modern Art is on display from Sunday, ebruary 1 , to Sunday, ay 1 . he gallery is open uesday through Sunday, and admission is to 15 but free on riday . n

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IES ALL LAD A RECEIVE TARY N E M E COMPL N O FLOWER ’S E IN T N VALE DAY!

FEB JOE MACHI Last Comic Standing 13-16 Live at Gotham

FEB GREG WARREN Late Night with Seth Meyers 20-23 Dry Bar Comedy

MICHAEL PALASCAK 1/26- Late Late Show with James 3/1 Corden, Late Show with Stephen Colbert

PUMP & DUMP MAR Parentally Incorrect 7 Night Out for Any Mom! 2-Shows only!!

BILLY PEEK SATURDAY FEB. 29

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FEBRUARY 12-18, 2020

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GREG WARREN FEB FAMILY FRIENDLY 23 SHOW! 3 PM Appropriate for All Ages Treats for the Kids!

FILM

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[REVIEW]

See Jane Suffer The Assistant shows the damage wrought by a lecherous boss Written by

ROBERT HUNT The Assistant Written and directed by Kitty Green. Starring Julia Garner, Matthew Macfadyen and Makenzie Leigh. Opens Friday, February 14, at the Landmark Plaza Frontenac Cinema.

I

t is almost impossible to watch Kitty Green’s psychological drama The Assistant without thinking of Harvey Weinstein and the lurid details of his trial.

Though he’s never mentioned by name, echoes of his notoriety and the many allegations against him hover over reen’s film both consciously and, one assumes, coincidentally. Even an early shot of the film’s protagonist, Jane, riding across a bridge to her Manhattan office in the wee hours of the morning recalls — unintentionally, I assume — the opening logo of iramax films during its glory years in the 1990s.

Jane, played with depth and uiet frustration by Julia arner, is an aspiring producer working as an office assistant for an unnamed film company and its demanding boss. Working almost around the clock, she makes copies, takes out the trash, attends to details and spends most of the day in constant motion (and an equally perpetual state of panic) trying to cater to her boss’s unpredictable needs. Not limited to the daily operations of the workplace, these include helping avoid his wife’s phone calls, talking her through minor domestic problems and picking up the abandoned earrings and other evidence of the boss’s indiscretions.

The nameless mogul himself is a spectral, almost omniscient figure, never seen but occasionally overheard through his office door or over the telephone, as when he calls Jane to demand an apology for some minor transgression he

Julia Garner stars as Jane in The Assistant. | TY JOHNSON/BLEEKER STREET

The Assistant is less a timely story of abuse of power than a Kafkaesque nightmare updated with the banalities of the modern workplace. has discovered. (Company tradition, she is told by her co-workers, requires her to respond quickly with a contrite e-mail begging forgiveness and thanking him for the privilege of working for him.)

Writer-director Green presents Jane’s anguish in a calm, minimalist style. Rather than linger on more sensational elements of the story, she focuses on the drudgery and oppressiveness of Jane’s daily routine. Through Garner’s sensational performance, The Assistant becomes less a timely story of abusive power than a portrait of the emotional and spiritual damage it causes, a Kafkaesque nightmare brought up to date with the banalities of the modern workplace.

The details of the business are presented obliquely. We see stacks of headshots piled on Jane’s desk, some of them matching the faces

of the young women who parade through the mogul’s door. We see guests come and go with no clear idea of why they’re there, usually unable to actually meet the boss face to face. There’s an almost comical sense of repetition and futility, tempered only by Jane’s gnawing anxiety and increasing desperation.

Her anxiety reaches its tipping point with the introduction of the boss’s newest interest, a twentyyear-old Idaho waitress whose chance encounter with the mogul brings her to New York, where she is housed in a luxury hotel and added to the office staff with no apparent abilities or responsibilities. inally driven to outrage, Jane, in the film’s longest scene, visits the human resources office to express her concerns; the unctuous HR executive patronizingly dismisses — and confirms — her complaint with a dark punchline worthy of The Trial Jane doesn’t need to worry about the boss, he explains. She’s “not his type.”

The Assistant is a muted, restrained work, but quietly seething. The bleakest look at the dark side of white-collar work since artist Cindy Sherman’s rarely seen Office Killer (another shot of inadvertent Miramax synchronicity: The 199 film was released through its Dimension subsidiary), Green’s deceptively low-keyed approach turns the prickly subjects of office politics and power into a potent exploration of psychological despair. n

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FEBRUARY 12-18, 2020

RIVERFRONT TIMES

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THIS WEEK THE GROVE SELECTED HAPPENINGS

IN

Day or night, there’s always something going on in The Grove: live bands, great food, beer tastings, shopping events, and so much more. Visit thegrovestl.com for a whole lot more of what makes this neighborhood great.

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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13

DAY SHOW OF LOVE & REVENGE

CHICK FLICK TRIVIA

$5, 7 PM AT ATTITUDES NIGHT CLUB

7 PM AT TROPICAL LIQUEURS

HAROLD NIGHT

UNRAVEL: A DECONSTRUCTION $10, 8 PM AT THE IMPROV SHOP

$8, 8 PM AT THE IMPROV SHOP

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14

SATURDAY BLUEGRASS SESSIONS

KID FRIENDLY V-DAY HAPPY HOUR! 4 PM AT HANDLEBAR

BAD ROMANCE: A VALENTINE'S

1 PM AT GEZELLIG TAPHOUSE

MISSOURI MUSES: A CELEBRATION OF MO WOMEN IN ROCK $10, 6 PM AT ATOMIC COWBOY

Sat Feb 15 Missouri Muses: A Celebration of MO Women in Rock Featuring: Aina Cook, The Burney Sisters, Molly Healey

Sun Feb 16 still silent but sexy silent disco

FRI FEB 21 6th Annual DRE DAY

DJ Mahf & VThom (The Method)

SAT FEB 22 Post Parade Party w/ Funky Butt Brass Band

fri FEB 28 western states

sat FEB 29 julian davis & the situation

w/ chain station & barbaro

COMEDY SHOWCASE AT THE SHOP $12, 8:15 PM AT THE IMPROV SHOP

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 16

5TH ANNUAL CUPID'S CRAWFISH BOIL $25, 2 PM AT GEZELLIG TAPHOUSE

OPEN MIC NIGHT 8 PM AT HANDLEBAR

STILL SILENT BUT SEXY SILENT DISCO | PRESIDENTS DAY SUNDAY

$12, 8 PM AT ATOMIC COWBOY

8 PM AT THE READY ROOM

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 17

PLAYERS LEAGUE

OPERATION CHERRY TREE

$6, 8:15 PM AT THE IMPROV SHOP

8 PM AT THE IMPROV SHOP

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20

RELEASE THE HOUNDS 2 : A BENEFIT FOR STRAY RESCUE OF ST. LOUIS

THE IMPROV SHOP - STL PRODUCERS WORKSHOP 6:15 PM AT THE IMPROV SHOP

TAURUS RILEY

$10, 7 PM AT THE READY ROOM

ONE FOUR FIVES: AN IMPROVISED MUSICAL $10, 8 PM AT THE IMPROV SHOP

DJ MAHF PRESENTS 6TH ANNUAL DRE DAY $7, 9 PM AT ATOMIC COWBOY

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22

THE YOUNG AND THE RECKLESS

POST PARADE PARTY W/ FUNKY BUTT BRASS BAND

$5, 7 PM AT ATTITUDES

$12, 8 PM AT ATOMIC COWBOY

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FEATURED DINING CRISPY EDGE

THEKICKINCRAB.COM

314.310.3343 4168 JUNIATA STREET ST. LOUIS, MO 63116 What began in 2013 as a passion project in the founder’s kitchen has now grown into a retail and wholesale potsticker manufacturing facility located right in the heart of Tower Grove South. Crispy Edge believes that potstickers are the perfect vehicle to explore authentic global flavors from breakfast to dessert: handheld, wrapped in dough, and CRISPY! The restaurant features indoor and dog-friendly outdoor seating, private dining room, and a café lounge.

The full bar and hot beverage program highlight local specialty coffee, cocktails, and beers.

All products are made in-house and sourced from the finest ingredients. From Ordinary to Extraordinary - Crispy Edge is a global community for those who want something fun, tasty, social and exciting to eat.

CARNIVORE STL

314.888.8688 9616 OLIVE BLVD OLIVETTE, MO 63132 The Kickin’ Crab has joined the Crustacean Nation and is here to satisfy your taste sensation. The Kickin’ Crab is a fun-filled Cajun seafood destination where patrons come and escape into flavor paradise. Offering a distinct ambiance to enjoy the finest and freshest Cajun seafood around!

Kickin’ Crab is a great place to hang out with friends, family, or both! No plates...no utensils! Just your hands, a bib, and our unique and absolutely irresistible KC sauces - a combination of spicy, sweet and tangy flavors - over freshly prepared seafood that will give your taste buds satisfaction unlike anything else you’ve ever tasted. Join us and partake in the festivities and quality of seafood that The Kickin’ Crab has to offer.

THREE MONKEYS

CARNIVORE-STL.COM

THREEMONKEYSRESTAURANT.COM INFO@THREEMONKEYSRESTAURANT.COM

314.449.6328 5257 SHAW AVE, ST. LOUIS, MO 63110 Carnivore fills a nearly 4,000-square-foot space on The Hill with a dining area, bar lounge, and adjoining outdoor patio gracefully guarded by a bronze steer at the main entrance. Always embracing change, Joe and Kerri Smugala, with business partners Chef Mike and Casie Lutker, launched Carnivore STL this summer. As the Hill’s only steakhouse, Carnivore offers a homestyle menu at budget-friendly prices appealing to the neighborhood’s many families. Steak, of course, takes center stage with juicy filet mignon, top sirloin, strip steak and ribeye leading the menu. Customize any of the succulent meats with sautéed mushrooms, grilled shrimp, or melted housemade butters, such as garlic-and-herb and red wine reduction, on top of the flame-seared steak. Other main dishes include a thick-cut pork steak (smoked at J. Smugs) and the grilled chicken with capers and a white wine-lemon-butter sauce. St. Louis Italian traditions get their due in the Baked Ravioli, smothered in provel cheese and house ragu, and in the Arancini, risotto balls stuffed with provel and swimming in a pool of meat sauce. With an exciting new brunch menu debuting for Saturday and Sunday, Carnivore should be everyone’s new taste of the Hill.

314.772.980 3153 MORGANFORD RD. ST LOUIS, MO 63116 Under new ownership, Three Monkeys has transformed into one of the best neighborhood restaurants & whiskey pubs in the area. With an ever-growing list of over 60 whiskeys, 16 craft beers on draft, specialty cocktail & an exciting new menu of gastro pub favorites - they have something for everyone. The menu is ample with offerings, including some of St. Louis’s best hand-tossed pizza, great shareable appetizers, burgers, vegetarian options, pasta, steaks & more. Embracing the price point of other south city pubs, Three Monkeys offers a great happy hour! Come enjoy $6 select appetizers, including the best fried Brussels sprouts in town, $5 Manhattans, Sazeracs & Old Fashions, as well as discounts on wine & craft beer. Sunday features one of the most extensive brunch buffets in the city, loaded with your favorite breakfast items, an omelet & pasta station, plus seafood, appetizers, desserts, & many other goodies.

Located in Tower Grove South, it’s the perfect place to have dinner, share a pizza with family, or just belly up to the bar with your favorite drink.

BLK MKT EATS

CRAWLING CRAB

BLKMKTEATS.COM

314.328.3421 6730 PAGE AVE ST. LOUIS, MO 63138

314.391.5100 9 S. VANDEVENTER AVE. ST. LOUIS, MO 63108

Looking for the best seafood in St. Louis or the Midwest—don’t fret, Crawling Crab is now open! Here, we drizzle everything in garlic butter and then sprinkle on our magic dust! In a fun and casual atmosphere, you’ll enjoy fresh, hand-cleaned seafood ranging from lobster, shrimp, and of course crab legs. All platters come with corn sausage potatoes and Cajun boiled eggs and shrimp that won’t disappoint. For those pasta and veggie lovers out there, there is a spot for you here too! Enjoy our double dipped garlic butter rolls along side with your meal.

And if you are still not stuffed, we have homemade dessert on the menu too! Have a big family coming in or an event coming up? Enjoy our family meal options and our beautiful seafood tables. As we continue to grow, we are excited to add new items to the menu, get creative with new recipes, and give back within the community.

Join us on the first Tuesday of the month for $20 platter specials, and $5 appetizers on every Wild Wednesday!

Open Tuesday thru Saturday 4pm-10pm, currently located in the 24:1 Coffee House Cafe.

RIVERFRONT TIMES

6 RESTAURANTS YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT...

THE KICKIN’ CRAB

CRISPYEDGE.COM

26

SPONSORED CONTENT

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2020

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The fast-fresh, made-to-order concept has been applied to everything from pizza to pasta in St. Louis, but the sushi burrito surprisingly had no Gateway City home until BLK MKT Eats opened near Saint Louis University last fall. It was worth the wait, though, because BLK MKT Eats combines bold flavors and convenience into a perfectly wrapped package that’s ideal for those in a rush. Cousins and co-owners Kati Fahrney and Ron Turigliatto offer a casual menu full of high-quality, all-natural ingredients that fit everything you love about sushi and burritos right in your hand. The Swedish Fish layers Scandinavian cured salmon, yuzu dill slaw, NOT YOURAnother AVERAGE Persian cucumbers and avocado for a fresh flavor explosion. favorite, the OGSUSHI Fire, featuresSPOT your choice 9 SOUTH VANDEVENTER DINE-IN, jalapeño TAKEOUT and OR DELIVERY MON-SAT 11AM-9PM of spicy tuna or salmon alongside tempura crunch, masago, shallots, piquant namesake sauce; Persian cucumbers and avocado soothe your tongue from the sauce’s kick. All burrito rolls come with sticky rice wrapped in nori or can be made into poké bowls, and all items can be modified for vegetarians.

STAGE [REVIEW]

Walking Tall Three Tall Women is expertly performed and revealing in its toughness Written by

PAUL FRISWOLD Three Tall Women Written by Edward Albee. Directed by Gary F. Bell. Presented by Stray Dog Theatre through February 22 at the Tower Grove Abbey (2336 Tennessee Avenue; www.straydogtheatre. org). Tickets are $30 to $35.

A

” has come to the end of her life, and “B” is there to help her manage these final hours with comfort and dignity. “C” is present to remind “A” of all her unfinished business, and the dreams, hopes and fantasies she’s lost along the way. t’s a cruel thing to do at the end, but “A is well-versed in cruelty, callousness and long-held grudges. dward Albee’s drama Three Tall Women takes place in the bedroom of an aged, patrician woman, and in her memory. Their names are placeholders, because A has trouble remembering names and people. All she has left is her anger, her pride and the unceasing pain of a broken arm that will no lon-

From left: Angela Bubash, Jan Meyer and Donna M. Parrone in Three Tall Women. | JOHN LAMB ger heal. t’s a tough play, but you have to be tough to get to A’s age.

Three Tall Women, currently being produced by Stray Dog heatre under the direction of ary . Bell, revels in that toughness. t’s an un inching production, but there are ashes of tenderness that help to limn the character of A with an inviolate humanity. f you live long enough, you’ll lose the people you most love, either through death or your own actions.

Bell’s cast of three — Jan Meyer, Donna . arrone and Angela Bubash — portray the same woman at different ages. Meyer played A in St. ouis Actors’ Studio’s 201 production and here reprises the

role with the same inty-eyed pragmatism. n the first act, she’s forgetful and frail. er caregiver, B arrone , indulges her fancies and kindly helps her navigate the blank spots in her memory. C Bubash is a representative of A’s lawyer and tries to command the old woman’s attention and then chides her for her failing to stay on task.

Their three-way conversation is spiked with Albee’s trenchant wit and a musical sense of timing, as shared lines pass from one woman to the next. In the second act, all three women are A at different stages of her life, gathered together in A’s failing memories

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27

as her physical body goes about dying. Bubash is A at 2 , a funloving young woman whose confident “ ’ll marry and be happy is uickly dismissed by eyer with a hand ap and a weary, “ e’ll talk about happiness. t’s arrone who’s stuck in the middle at 52, both chronologically and emotionally. er A is wiser than Bubash’s but also wants to know what changes come in the next 0 years to make her so lonely and aggrieved. hat uestion is answered when their son comes to visit and arrone ares into a screaming rage at the sight of him. Even Meyer, so wise and all-knowing, seems shaken by the fury of her younger self. he uestion hangs over this second half of the play hy isn’t A able to forgive her son for disappointing her and leaving her? hy wasn’t he able to take the first step toward reconciliation? Bubash’s young A, so full of dreams for a happy family, is stunned into horrified silence by it all ow does love die so uickly? ow does a family degenerate into warring factions?

All three women are excellent, and Bell’s direction is so smooth that the intermission comes unexpectedly soon. f there’s a aw here, it’s that the final moments come to an abrupt end and almost don’t land.

But maybe that’s how death is.

Just when you think you’ve hashed it all out and have finally come to grips with life, the lights go out. n

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CAFE

29

[REVIEW]

Fountain of Youth The Soda Fountain at St. Louis Union Station offers a magical retreat for the young and young at heart Written by

CHERYL BAEHR The Soda Fountain 201 South 18th Street, 314-923-3939.

Sun.-Sat. 11 a.m.-10 p.m.

W

hat is the point, you might wonder, of placing a gigantic rainbow-colored, unicorn-shaped lollipop into the even more gigantic Very Happy Un-Birthday milkshake that’s already garnished with a snickerdoodle cookie? And whipped cream. And sprinkles that coat the entire top-third of the glass. There’s even a full-sized cupcake — it too covered in whipped cream and its own layer of sprinkles — balanced atop this spectacle. The lollipop could be considered the cherry on top of this aptly named Freak Shake, were there not an actual cherry on it as well.

To answer this question, you must step inside the mind of a sixyear-old — in this case, my daughter — who saw the sucker not as a gratuitous addition to an over-thetop confection but as an opportunity. Using it as a spoon, she dunked the lollipop all the way to the bottom of the glass and dug out the ice cream and whipped cream, with melted sugary cream smeared all over her face and dripping from her hands to her elbows. At one point, the “unicorn sucker,” as she called it, proved to be the perfect implement for chiseling off the layer of vanilla frosting and sprinkles that surrounded the glass. She was a hot, sticky mess, and she was living her best life.

This scene is precisely what Lodging Hospitality Management, or LHM, had in mind when they conceived of the Soda Fountain, a 1950s-style ice cream parlor and

The egg salad sandwich and double cheeseburger alongside the All-American Sundae and A Very Happy Un-Birthday Freak Shake. | MABEL SUEN diner at the reimagined St. Louis Union Station. After purchasing the landmark property in 2014, LHM knew they wanted to do something grand that would reinvigorate a place that was once a must-visit destination, whether in its first incarnation as the city’s rail hub or its reinvention in the 1980s as a dining and shopping destination. heir first step was to renovate the hotel and its iconic Grand Hall.

What to do with the back part of the property, however, required more thought. As they looked around to other cities of similar size, they realized that St. Louis’ lack of an aquarium was an anomaly. After settling on that for the interior of the property, they came up with the idea for the St. Louis Wheel, a miniature golf course and a carousel. The lake would be turned into a light show with ames shooting out of the water to music, and there would be a ropes course, a mirror maze and a playground. All they had left to do was plot out the food options.

Originally, LHM thought they had that figured out. All the way up to 2017, the Hard Rock Café was supposed to stay put, and, at the time, it made sense. The restaurant chain was known throughout the country as an entertainment destination, so it seemed like a good fit. owever, when the Hard Rock pulled out, LHM saw their opportunity to create a restaurant that would be even

more cohesive with the St. Louisthemed, orld’s air-in ected vision they had for the property.

A soda fountain made perfect sense. Not only would it nod to the 1904 World’s Fair/Louisiana Purchase Exposition and St. Louis’ alleged role in inventing the ice cream cone, it also would evoke the sort of nostalgic, familyfriendly whimsy that they wanted the property to offer. With that vision in mind, LHM partnered with the Lawrence Group to help them convert the former Hard Rock space into a pastel-hued fairytale land: part soda fountain, part diner, part candy store and all fun.

You don’t have to be six to appreciate the stunning aesthetic that LHM has brought to life. The moment you step in the door, you feel as if you are being transported into a Neapolitan-colored dream. Pale pink, white and pistachio-green paint and oor tiles cast a pastel glow, and round glass lights line the ceiling to make you feel as if you are on a carousel.

Although the restaurant occupies 10,000 square feet, it’s smartly divided into three separate areas — the soda fountain counter and a dining room, a central dining room and a retro candy shop — to make it feel less cavernous. In the evenings, the room is particularly magical, as the twinkling lights from the St. Louis Wheel, carousel and other attractions glitter

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through the restaurant’s many windows, lighting up the room with a jewel-like twinkle. f needed confirmation that their idea for the Soda Fountain was a good one, they got it in the form of the overwhelming reception they’ve received. Though there was no wait on either of my visits — which were on weekdays with no St. Louis Blues home games — the restaurant is already famously busy, with wait times as shocking as its Freak Shakes.

On weekends, it’s been known to have a four-hour wait time, which would prohibit dining there were it not for the fact that the restaurant uses Yelp Waitlist and has an entertainment complex mere steps outside its doors.

To accommodate the potential for such wait times, chef Russel Cunningham (who oversees all of the restaurants on the Union Station property except for Landry’s Seafood House), smartly kept the Soda Fountain’s menu simple and straightforward. However, at a restaurant that easily could have phoned it in with sub-par, frozen concession stand food because of its captive audience, he does this simple food well. A griddled double cheeseburger is the quintessence of the form — crispy around the edges, juicy in the center, topped with molten American cheese that soaks into every crevice of the

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THE SODA FOUNTAIN Continued from pg 29

patty and garnished with crisp iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, raw white onions and pickles. The soft bun is perfectly griddled, and its buttery top glistens under the carnival lights overhead. It’s the sort of easy comfort you want from an amusement-park-adjacent eatery.

The fried chicken sandwich is equally well executed. The thick, breaded chicken breast is shockingly juicy, its golden-brown coating nicely seasoned with just a whisper of black pepper. Tucked into a soft, mayonnaise-slathered brioche bun, the simple lettuce and tomato garnish add a welcome pop of crisp refreshment to the deep-fried chicken.

Both the egg salad sandwich and tuna melts were pleasantly surprising in their execution. Rather than mushy — as is so often the case with these salads — both were perfectly dressed with enough mayonnaise to allow the components to adhere together, but not so much that they were overwhelmed by the condiment. The egg salad, in particular, had a wonderful, rustic-chopped texture that paired well with the accompanying wheat bread.

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Even a straightforward grilled cheese is elevated; the thick toast acts like a sponge for so much butter that it forms a glorious crust.

The sandwich is a triple-decker, and you get this buttery effect on the interior piece as well. It’s a nice contrast of texture with the generous and melty layers of cheddar and jack cheese that tie everything together.

Crinkle-cut fries and onion rings, served a la carte, are standard but well prepared. Unfortunately, the bacon on the BLT was not so impressive. Chewy and overcooked, it may have been passable as an addition to a chicken sandwich or cheeseburger, but as the star of the show on the BLT, it was lacking.

Nothing is lacking when it comes to the Soda Fountain’s desserts.

Admittedly, these are designed to dazzle with their eye-popping decadence. However, there is substance as well; the restaurant uses ice cream from local Clementine’s Naughty and Nice Creamery as the base of all of its desserts, and the quality is evident in everything from a decadent and subtly nutty chocolate malt to the restaurant’s signature Freak Shakes.

Consider the Cinnamon Spice & Everything Nice, a cinnamon

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2020

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roll in milkshake form, its vanilla cream and candied pecan encrusted rim evocative of a loaded morning bun. Whipped cream caps the glass like a snow-covered peak, and a full-size cinnamon roll somehow defies gravity, placed atop the whipped cream and barely resting on two straws and some strategically placed chocolate pieces.

However ridiculous the presentation, it never obscures the gently spiced cinnamon and vanilla richness of Clementine’s ice cream — a feat that speaks to both the quality of the ingredients and the balance of avors.

The Everything But... is pure spectacle, but it also has this thoughtful avor balance. anilla ice cream serves as the base for a Jenga-like sculpture of chocolate-covered pretzels, potato chips, a chocolatedipped pretzel rod, caramel sauce, a peanut butter cup and a whole chocolate-chip cookie. For those who like to mix their sweet and savory, this one is the motherlode.

The Soda Fountain’s boozy concoctions may not be as Instagrammable, but they pack a punch that’s just as powerful as the Freak Shakes’ visual intensity. The Way We Were is a fantasy-land version of a Screwdriver, the blood orange vodka so prominent through the

blood orange soda syrup and vanilla syrup, you wonder if there should be a two-drink maximum.

The añejo tequila in the Hanoi to Oaxaca is subtler, but it still adds a noticeable warmth to the dulce de leche, coffee extract and milk concoction.

And of course, the Soda Fountain can’t let the kids (or non-drinkers) have all of the fun: The St. Louis Standard is the boozy answer to the Freak Shakes. It’s made with Clementine’s gooey butter cake icecream base, a buttery sweet canvas for Still 630 Expedition rum and Golden Road brown ale. It’s like a cold version of a hot-buttered rum.

As I found myself using an oversized blue and white straw to mix the generous pour of rum into the gooey butter cake ice cream, I glanced over, noticed my daughter now using her “unicorn lollipop” to slice her shake’s cupcake garnish in half and realized that the effect the restaurant had on us was not all that different. That’s the magic of burgers, shakes, sprinkles and carnival lights: They can bring out the kid in you.

The Soda Fountain Griddled double cheeseburger ................. $10 Traditional chocolate shake....................... $7 A Very Happy Un-Birthday Freak Shake ... $18

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31

[SIDE DISH]

Chef Bill Kunz on Longevity in the Restaurant Biz Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

L

ooking back, Bill Kunz knew at an early age he was destined for the food business.

His grandfather was a chef; so was his uncle. Holidays at his great-grandmother’s house were massive culinary expositions — and completely non-negotiable.

On weekends, he’d go with his grandfather to Soulard Farmers’ Market, and every year, right before Thanksgiving, the two would go together to Mama Toscano’s Ravioli to make ravioli. Even his first ob, washing dishes and scrubbing oors at a bakery on the Hill, seemed to seal his fate.

However, when it came time to make a career decision, Kunz had other plans.

“I graduated from high school and went to the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, knowing I wasn’t going to be in the restaurant business,” Kunz says. “I wanted to be a professional football player and even played in college, but that didn’t work out. I saw that the University of Nevada, Las Vegas had a hotel and restaurant school and figured, ell hell. might as well become that.’”

Now chef-owner of Hwy 61 Roadhouse and Kitchen (34 South Old Orchard Road, Webster Groves; 314-968-0061), it’s hard to imagine Kuntz choosing another path. His career has spanned roughly three decades and all different types of environments, and he has thrived every step of the

Bill Kunz is the chef-owner of Hwy 61 Roadhouse and Kitchen. | ANDY PAULISSEN way. His career began right out of college, when he was convinced to return to St. Louis thanks to an offer from the restaurant group that owns Houlihan’s. He started out at the est County location and eventually moved to the St. Louis Union Station property. At the time, it was one of the chain’s busiest locations in the country, and when he was asked to go from front-of-house management into the kitchen, he received quite an education.

“I spent eight months there,” Kun recalls. “ e were a scratch kitchen, and I still have nightmares of working for one of the guys out there. However, I learned a ton from him.”

After roughly five years working for Houlihan’s, Kunz was recruited by the Hyatt hotel operating at Union Station at the time.

Hyatt was looking to get into the free-standing restaurant business, and they wanted him to run their restaurant, the Powerhouse. He did that for about a year and then left for Club iverport and eventually Hooters. Though he stayed

with the wing company for five years, he admits that it was not the sort of ob he wanted.

“It sucked,” Kunz admits. “I helped them open estport, then became GM of [the] Union Station [location] and then area supervisor. I didn’t like it, and I realize it’s because I didn’t like being taken out of the day-to-day running of a restaurant. That’s what I loved.”

Kunz left Hooters for an opportunity with a gaming development that took him to Dubuque, Iowa. There, he was tasked with redeveloping the food and beverage operations for a riverboat casino — an industry that was in its beginnings. The gig took him back to the St. Louis area, where the development group was opening Growler’s Pub, then to Miami for another gaming boat and finally back to rowler’s. e en oyed his time working for the organization, but when a friend approached him with an offer to get into the business in his own right, he realized it was the direction he wanted his career to take. heir first restaurant, rank and

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Patty’s, was a humble hamburger and hot-dog spot in Kirkwood.

Though they believed in what they were doing, they had larger plans in mind — namely a large restaurant in Lafayette Square they would name Lafayette Town Hall. However, their plans were dashed when Kunz received a phone call that is every business owner’s worst nightmare. “ e were going to open on a ednesday in September, and a Friday right before, I got a phone call from one of our construction workers,” Kunz recalls. “He told me, urn on your — the building is on fire.’ here was a huge fire in a warehouse nearby, and two of the fiery canisters blew out of the warehouse, landed on our building and burned it to the ground. thought, So much for that.’”

Kunz had no choice but to keep moving forward, so he and his partner purchased the building in ebster roves that would become Hwy 61 Roadhouse and Kitchen. Immediately, Kunz knew

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Continued from pg 31

that he wanted the restaurant to have a Ca un in ection, not simply because he’d always been intrigued by the style of cooking but because it was a way to connect St. Louis to its sister city down the Mississippi River, New Orleans.

He and his partner settled on the name Hwy 61 as a reference to the “Blues Highway” that connects the cities along the Big Muddy, then they traveled down it, picking up memorabilia for the restaurant and ideas for the menu along the way.

The restaurant received instant recognition, including a spot on the Food Network’s Diners, DriveIns and Dives. However, before the show aired, Kunz’s business was almost derailed by something even worse than a fire.

“I had a heart attack on October 4, 2012,” Kunz says. “I was in the recovery room for another surgery when it happened. At the end of it all, I realized that I had to make some changes — that if I was going to stick around I couldn’t

weigh 460 pounds. I made the decision to have gastric-bypass surgery and have been doing what I do ever since.”

Now the solo owner of Hwy 61 and a longtime veteran of the restaurant business, Kun is re ective when he thinks about where he’s been and where he sees the industry going. He admits it’s a tough business; in his time working around town, he’s seen many great restaurants come and go.

However, he feels that having that valuable perspective is what has helped him see a path to success in an increasingly competitive field. “ ith so many new restaurants opening, we have to do something to distinguish ourselves,” Kunz says. “I hate the word staycation, but maybe we can call us a dining-cation. e’re definitely trying to provide people with an experience.”

Kunz recently took a break from the kitchen to share his thoughts on the St. Louis restaurant scene, his passion for cycling and the two upcoming concepts that are able to pique the interest of a man who’s seen it all.

What is one thing people don’t know about you that you wish they did?

That I’m not as outgoing when I’m not at work.

What daily ritual is non-negotiable for you?

I have to ride my bike.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

The ability to read minds, discover the best possible employees and [learn] what makes them tick.

What is the most positive thing in food, wine or cocktails that you’ve noticed in St. Louis over the past year?

I think the new food truck park in Affton will be very interesting.

What is something missing in the local food, wine or cocktail scene that you’d like to see?

I’d like to see food critics give some love to the restaurants that have been around a while and not always focus on what’s new.

Who is your St. Louis food crush?

Uncle Leo’s Pizza with Zatarain’s Ca un hot sauce.

Who’s the one person to watch right now in the St. Louis dining scene?

[FOOD NEWS]

Guerrilla Street Food Closes Tower Grove East, Maryland Heights Stores Written by

LIZ MILLER

O

ne of RFT’s favorite local fast-casual chains recently shared some very sad news.

Guerrilla Street Food co-owners Joel Crespo and Brian Hardesty announced in a press release last week that they would be closing their Tower Grove East location at 3559 Arsenal Street as well as the shop at 11658 Dorsett Road in Maryland Heights. Ian Froeb first broke the news for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch ahead of the release.

The Dorsett location shuttered first, and the Arsenal spot closed for good on Sunday, February 9. Hardesty and Crespo are also seeking a chef or restaurateur to take over their lease for the space in the Delmar Loop at 6120 Delmar Boulevard.

Operations will continue at that location for the foreseeable future.

The Webster Groves store at 43 South Old Orchard Avenue and the window inside 2nd Shift Brewing (1601 Sublette Avenue, 314-669-9013) will remain open for regular business, as will the food truck.

Guerrilla Street Food has closed two of its area locations. | KELLY GLUECK “We will continue to operate Delmar for as long as we can,” Hardesty and Crespo say in the release. “Our hope is that we are able to salvage enough of our operations to continue service beyond February at our counter inside of 2nd Shift Brewing, as well as our newly opened Webster Groves location, and if we are lucky, our food truck will resume operations in the spring.”

The business partners say that their decision to downsize their brick-and-mortar locations is due to “many contributing factors,” but at the end of the day, “it has been our choices as owners that have led us down this path.”

“We are here to take full responsibility for those choices,” the release continues. “We will immediately reorganize, focus and hopefully, save Guerrilla Street

Food. We hope that the upcoming effort is not too little, too late.”

Guerrilla Street Food first hit the streets of St. Louis in 2011 as a food truck (and just ahead of the food-truck craze really taking off in town). A lot has changed in the past decade, but the concept’s excellent Filipino-inspired fare has not. When Froeb, who was RFT’s restaurant critic when the food truck opened, first reviewed the truck eight years ago, he described signature menu items such as the Flying Pig with the same praise we’d echo today.

“The ‘Flying Pig’ is Guerrilla’s standout dish: tender slow-roasted pork on a bed of jasmine rice, the meat’s natural flavor subtly spiced and then spiked with chiles, sriracha sauce and calamansi,” Froeb wrote at the time. “And that slow-cooked

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ith Schla y Beer purchasing railhead Brewing Co. , it will be interesting to see if they are going to grow their brewpub business.

Which ingredient is most representative of your personality?

Salt and pepper. Low key but very important as a finishing avor enhancer.

If you weren’t working in the restaurant business, what would you be doing?

I’d either learn to repair bikes, do computer graphics or teach at a culinary school.

Name an ingredient never allowed in your restaurant.

Swai fish .

What is your after-work hangout?

After work, the bed. I hangout more before work, and that’s on Grant’s Trail.

What’s your food or beverage guilty pleasure?

Black ellybeans.

What would be your last meal on Earth?

A protein shake after my final bike ride as therapy for my soul, then pizza from Ale Emporium in Indianapolis or Andolini’s [Pizzeria] in Tulsa. n egg on top, which has a texture like no other egg you’ve ever eaten: White and yolk are thick and supple, like custard. I’d happily eat one of these eggs on its own; deployed in tandem with the pork, it fully justifies the dish’s name.”

Just last month, RFT restaurant critic Cheryl Baehr described the impact that Guerrilla Street Food has had on the St. Louis dining scene over the past decade.

“It’s hard to remember, but there was a time not all that long ago — 2011 to be precise — that the St. Louis food truck scene was virtually nonexistent,” Baehr wrote. “If you have to point to one truck that set the mobile culinary scene on its course, Guerrilla Street Food would be it.

What owners Joel Crespo and Brian Hardesty did for the St. Louis food truck scene was important, but their lasting legacy is their visionary approach to Filipino food.

With a respect for tradition, Crespo and Hardesty have pushed the idea of what we think Filipino fare is and can be with a creativity that’s just as sharp as their cooking skills. And what skills they have: One bite of the Flying Pig and you’ll wonder why we all weren’t clamoring for Filipino food in St. Louis sooner.”

The release ends on a note of gratitude for the many customers who have patronized Guerrilla Street Food over the past nine years.

“Whatever happens with the future of our restaurants, it has been an honor and a pleasure to serve you,” the release concludes. “Please accept our most heartfelt thanks for your support throughout these last nine years.” n

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Ronnell Banks, Molly’s operational manager, dresses up for opening night at Carnival. | KRISTEN FARRAH

[FIRST LOOK]

Carnival, A Mardi Gras Pop-Up Bar, Opens in Soulard Written by

KRISTEN FARRAH

I

n the hours before its grand opening on January 30, Carnival (808 Geyer Avenue) transformed from a neighborhood bar into a section of New Orleans that somehow got dropped in Missouri.

Operated by Molly’s in Soulard (816 Geyer Avenue, 314-241-6200) owner uke eynolds, Carnival is a Mardi Gras-themed celebration of New Orleans in both decorations and food and drink. The theme is apparent in the handmade beaded chandeliers, bottles and curtains currently outfitting the space, which also hosted a holiday pop-up bar in December.

Emma Donohue, restaurant and events manager at olly’s, okes that she has scars from hours of using a glue gun to craft decor for

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the pop-up.

A big fan and frequent visitor of New Orleans, Reynolds wanted to stretch out Mardi Gras festivities this year into the threeweek-long celebration known as Carnival around the world. f course, he already has a captive audience come Mardi Gras weekend, when Soulard is the spot for the Bud Light Grand Parade and other festivities.

“I’ve owned Molly’s for sixteen years, and I’ve probably been to New Orleans at least once a year for the past ten years — and probably 25 times overall,” Reynolds says. he menu at Carnival features St. Louis twists on New Orleans classics. Donohue shared with the Riverfront Times how to make a few of the bar’s eight signature cocktails. The Jester, for example, is one of the signatures and features local ingredients. “ e wanted to represent Soulard in that one, so we used locally sourced owers from iley’s Flowers] and 1220 Artisan Spirits’ rigin gin ust to kind of have a local cocktail that was not only us, but the whole neighborhood,” Donohue says.

She thinks The Rex Shareable Goblet will be the drink of choice at Carnival in the next few weeks. he cocktail mixes together Captain Morgan, melon liqueur, Malibu rum, Blue Cura ao, sour mix, pineapple uice and Sprite. t’s garnished with rock candy and purple lollipops and is recommended for two people to share, but Donohue said divvying it

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2020

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“King cakes are delicious in the flavor realm but not so much in the texture realm, so we decided instead of doing one as a dessert we’re going to do it as a dessert cocktail.” up among three or four patrons might not be a bad idea. nstead of including King Cake on its food menu, Carnival features the avors of the dessert in a martini: Purple sugar coats the rim, and a paper crown rests around the stem of the glass.

“King cakes are delicious in the avor realm but not so much in the texture realm, so we decided instead of doing one as a dessert we’re going to do it as a dessert cocktail. And it turned out absolutely fabulous,” Donohue says.

If you’re wanting something a bit more savory, the Oyster Shooter should be your go-to.

Made with bloody mary mix and

Absolut vodka, the drink comes with an oyster on the side to, you guessed it, shoot with the cocktail. f you are asking yourself, “ hat is New Orleans drinking without New Orleans food?” Reynolds is way ahead of you. Carnival’s Creole-inspired menu includes the classics everyone loves, such as warm and uffy beignets coated in powdered sugar, and other things you never knew you had to try, including alligator cheesecake. ep. hat is not ust some cutesy name. This savory cheesecake includes real alligator meat sourced from an alligator farm in Louisiana. If that’s too adventurous for your palate, try the fried deviled eggs or Ca un chicken and andouille wontons. And of course, Reynolds says, the menu would not be complete without the chicken-andouille gumbo. Reynolds is looking to expand into crab and crawfish gumbo soon as well. “ umbo is the holy grail of dishes in New Orleans,” he says.

Crawfish are almost in season, and Reynolds hopes he can get enough in soon to start hosting crawfish boils every Saturday at Molly’s.

Carnival is open various days through Fat Tuesday. The pop-up bar is still taking reservations, though Reynolds says the Friday and Saturday slots are filling up quickly. He adds that Molly’s will soon be announcing the addition of Carnival Sunday brunch in addition to Molly’s regular brunch menu; stay tuned for those updates soon. n

[FOOD NEWS]

Whisk Bakery Plans Expansion on Cherokee Street Written by

LIZ MILLER

C

hanges are coming to a beloved spot on Cherokee Street.

For months Kaylen Wissinger had been debating how to best expand her bakery Whisk: A Sustainable Bakeshop (2201 Cherokee Street, 314-9325166).

The pastry chef says she’s needed a larger kitchen for quite a while — business has been booming, and her current 297-square-foot space with just one cooler and mixer is no longer cutting it.

Near the end of 2019, after seven years in her current space, Wissinger started to seek out a new location for the bakery, convinced at the time that she couldn’t expand the shop’s current footprint.

“I was working with a realtor who I loved and was looking around everywhere for a space that was better suited to our needs,” Wissinger says. “When we launched Poptimism last year, everything

Whisk owner Kaylen Wissinger hopes to reopen the bakery in late March. | MABEL SUEN just happened so quickly and it became so chaotic and crazy in the kitchen trying to keep everything straight, from our wholesale accounts, our daily retail baking, all the [ice] pop prep and weddings ... it was just bananas.”

Wissinger says that she looked at a few places, but none of them felt quite right. It wasn’t until Dan Guenther, alderman of the 9th Ward where Whisk is located, suggested that Wissinger expand

its kitchen into the shop’s cafe space that she finally settled on a solution.

“We just decided to go for it,” Wissinger says.

When Whisk reopens after construction concludes this spring, Wissinger says it will no longer offer cafe seating in order to make room for the larger kitchen. Instead, guests can expect a classic bakery counter and case for carry-out purchases. Wissinger says

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the extra kitchen space is especially key for the two largest growing sectors of the business: Poptimism, her icepop brand, and her ever-evolving list of wholesale clients.

“We’re almost tripling our production and prep space with the expansion,” Wissinger says. “It will allow us to expand our wholesale program and add different items to our retail lineup, which I’m really excited about. We just bought an ice-pop machine from Brazil [for Poptimism], and it will have its own dedicated space and we’ll have lots of prep space around it.

Poptimism is going to be everywhere in 2020, that’s my goal.”

Wissinger outlined her plans for Whisk’s expansion in a recent Facebook post, sharing that construction on the revised layout will begin on Monday, February 10. The bakery will be closed during renovations, and Wissinger hopes to reopen Whisk’s doors in late March.

“It’s really bittersweet; I have a lot of emotions these days,” Wissinger says with a laugh. “I know it’s the right decision for us, and I’m really proud of the work the team here has done, because a lot of places don’t even make it past that five-year mark. There’s a demand, and we’re going to meet that demand with flying colors, I hope. It’s exciting but also sad, because I love having a space where people can have a first date, meet up with friends or just come in and sit and do work for a bit.” n

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MUSIC + CULTURE [HOMESPUN]

Up to Eleven Mills Custom’s artisan amps help bands near and far make a mighty noise Written by

CHRISTIAN SCHAEFFER

J

ust south of the Hill neighborhood, in the shadow of the looming, green-domed St. Louis Psychiatric Rehabilitation Center, sits an unassuming warehouse that holds quite a bit of firepower. he head uarters of Gateway Fireworks Displays doesn’t look like much on its quasi-industrial stretch of Fyler Avenue, but it houses the materials that illuminate the Cardinals’ home victories, corporate events and even l onstero’s bombastic Pink Floyd tribute sets.

In fact, the members of El Monstero use that warehouse as the band’s rehearsal space, and ust beyond their amps and drum kit sits the workshop of a smaller operation, but one that is also focused on making a big noise. Justin Mills uses his corner of the warehouse to make bass and guitar amplifiers for his line, Mills Custom. His amps, pri ed for their light weight, their unique mix of tube and solid state technology, and their distinct wood-grain aesthetic, are a common sight on local stages. ills’ career as an amp builder started back in his home state of Florida, where a few strands of his background combined: He studied sound engineering, which gave him insight into the technical aspects of sound amplification his work as an art handler at a Miami gallery taught him how to work with wood and his time as a gigging musician convinced him to ditch heavy amps for something easier to lug around.

His move to St. Louis was hardly part of any master plan, he says he had begun building amps and pedals back home but sought a change of scenery. “I needed to get out of South Florida — I had been there my whole life, ills explains. “ wanted a change, and shipping

Justin Mills poses with one of his creations, a 50-watt Atlas amplifier with a 1x12 cabinet. | VIA MILLS CUSTOM costs on this stuff were killing me from Miami.” Mills sought a more centrally located base for his operations Chicago was the first choice, but one look at real estate prices in St. ouis led him here. “ he rent for a whole house was $700!” he says, laughing.

Mills Custom uses a windmill for its logo, and in a fitting bit of kismet, his drive into town took him along Gravois, where he eventually passed Bevo ill. “ he day we rolled in here we passed

by Bevo, and we had ust come up with that logo,” Mills recalls. “So it was a total coincidence, but we said, K, cool, we’re in the right spot.’

Despite never having set foot in town, Mills settled here almost five years ago. nitially, ills Custom was run out of his basement — a novelty in itself for someone who comes from below sea level: “I was really enthralled with the concept of a basement because never lived anywhere where they

“It’s super organic; I try to make as little of a carbon footprint as possible.” existed,” he says. A few different locales followed — including the backroom of the Gaslight on the Hill — before settling in the back of the fireworks warehouse. ills Custom amps are marked by their exposed-wood casings, compared to most off-the-shelf amps and their tweed or olex coverings. ills’ process includes allnatural wood dyes as opposed to stains or lacquers, and heavy-duty burlap covers the speaker enclosures. “ t’s super organic try to make as little of a carbon footprint as possible, he explains.

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Mills is in the midst of restructuring his line of amps at the moment. His biggest seller is the Atlas, which he describes as a clean-sounding, straightforward amp — what gear-nerds would call a “pedal platform for its ability to showcase the nuance of stompboxes rather than impart its own intrinsic tonality. he Bayonet is his bass amp the atchet guitar head offers a clean channel and a high-gain distortion channel. he forthcoming Foundry adds a third, “super high gain channel that ills considers his agship. hile ills Custom has partnered with Gaslight Studios for marketing help, the company does very little advertising outside of social media posts ills’ success has been almost purely a product of word-of-mouth enthusiasm from local musicians Brother Lee & the Leather Jackals use an array of ills amps on stage, for instance). yan asoba, who produces local bands in his Edwardsville, Illinois-based Bird Cloud ecording, initially bought a Mills Hatchet to play in the instru-metal band hor Axe but now uses it in many different settings, both live and in studio. “ hat really surprised me is how versatile it is. ’ve used it at Bird Cloud for metal, angly indie rock stuff and even on bass for a a record, asoba says. “ here are a few times clients have brought in vintage Marshall or range amps, but they ended up using the Mills instead.” lus, asoba notes, ills’ technical abilities and willingness to troubleshoot errant Fender and Ampeg amps only sweetens the deal. “Justin is also the only amp tech that trust completely, he says. “ love Justin, he’s truly one of my favorite people. But even if he was a total asshole I would still swear by his work.”

Mills is able to road-test his products as a member of several local bands, including Bounce ouse and ’ vy. But he says that he takes a different, deeper satisfaction as an amp builder.

Where he once was driven by his own creative ideas, “now I get to create the palette through these amplifiers, he says. “ get to make the things that inspire artists rather than write a song itself.” n

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[PROFILE]

Agitpop ’Til You Drop Scene stalwart Mark Plant’s new project the Mall brings a punk ethos to dance music Written by

JOSH LEVI

I

f you’ve paid any attention to St. ouis’ punk and hardcore scene over the past few years, you’ve undoubtedly come across Mark Plant. No stranger to the DIY community, Plant, who uses they them pronouns, has had their hand in a number of underground musical pro ects for well over a decade. A polymath by nature, their musical genius and infectious energy has proven undeniable, whether it’s operating synths in the shoega e trio ibiru, writing blistering, raw pop in imes Beach or shredding heavy in the furious punk band Dentist. nter the all, the latest pro ect from the DIY stalwart. On debut EP Zone, set to drop later this month, you’ll find hard-edged minimal wave with a punk backbone, nestling nicely between acts like ront 2 2, ultiple an and igh- unctioning lesh. lant’s shouted vocals, drenched in reverb over propulsive beats and saccharine synths, tend to ero in on both beauty and anger in one fell swoop. he culmination of years of improvised noise sets and oneoff performances between their primary bands, this pro ect finds lant alone, opting for synchroni ed synthesi ers and drum machines where other players once raged. “ n ibiru, used that big polysynth and a drum machine and played all of those while singing, explains lant. “All could do was stand behind the table and sing into a microphone, and felt like it was very confining, so now ’m trying to be visible and move. t’s a little less complicated. t was with a direct approach to song structure and an exploratory knowledge of programming gear that Plant found what worked for this new endeavor. “ he more rules made, the easier it was to make stuff — outline everything, lant explains. “ his

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As the Mall, Mark Plant delivers hard-edged minimal wave with a punk backbone. | AUSTIN ROBERTS song doesn’t sound finished.’ his song needs to be finished.’ he lyrics suck.’ Does this need words?’ t’s like with electronic stuff, you can have infinite options, so it’s much easier to make those rules beforehand, and be like, hat’s it,’ and get a song done. ots of rules. hat’s the only way anarchy works, too.” n ust four short months, lant has been working at a breakneck pace, writing songs, maintaining a comically insane social media presence and planning a spring tour. heir hard work and seemingly endless stream of creativity has resulted in Zone, a selfreleased cassette filled with seven tracks of music perfect for cruising the contemporary hellscape of America or hardstomping under a disco ball. It is through these songs that Plant was able to confront the challenges of capitalism, worldly strife and the woes of existence. And unlike the demure, whispery nature common to the genre, lant’s vocals sit perfectly front and center, ust begging to be heard.

In regard to their songwriting process, lant explains “ eally if something hits me, if something is bothering me, if I get stuck on an idea or a concept — which happens all the time — ’ll ust talk to everyone for the next three days about the thing ’m stuck on. ’ll even write stream of consciousness [lyrics . want it to be pretty. hey’re

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2020

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still pop songs. ust am mad.”

Although the Mall thoroughly explores many types of subgenres within the electronic dance music canon, lant explains that their roots in hardcore punk may not be far off from their material today.

“Breakdowns in hardcore bands they’re totally ust dance parts. he all is ust skipping the fast parts, and it’s literally breakdowns where it’s understood that you’re dancing, says lant. “ his idea that it’s so tough — and it’s ust like dance music. hat’s the part everyone’s waiting for anyway. hy don’t we ust play dance music?”

As Plant continued to write songs over the past few months, they uickly understood that producing electronic dance music requires a high level of quality in live sound — something often not found in basements and DIY venues across town. t was through this reali ation that Plant traded in numerous pieces of gear for a A system that not only could support their own music, but also that of the community they hope to foster. “ f you’re in a punk band, you get a guitar amp, and you do everything you can so your guitar sounds good at a show,” Plant says. “ f you’re a drummer, you have to buy expensive cymbals. o me, always had the idea f you’re a vocalist in a band, get a PA, and if you play a basement show out of town and the PA sounds bad —

that’s on you. f have that A, that means that other people that want to make electronic music can have it sound good. specially here in St. Louis. You can start something like that and ust never play a good show ever because you’ll ust never play on a good A. t is with this drive, punk ethos and level of self-sufficiency that lant is currently mapping out a tour that will take them throughout the South and up the mid-Atlantic this spring. As a veteran of the road and tour life, Plant understands the urgency to ride the pro ect’s momentum and bring their music to audiences both regionally and nationally. “ ’m playing my first show in February, but also these are skills ’ve been building on for so long, and ’m finally doing something. ’m very proud of this, lant explains. “ ike anything that’s super niche, I feel like the audience is so small. here’s a lot of other people thirsty for that that ust need to hear that it exists. So you have to go to other cities immediately. “ t’s important to not ust sit in one spot, they continue. “ f you’re making something that you know is good, you need to show it to people, or you’re doing those people a disservice. Because they need that perspective.

The Mall 7:30 p.m. Sunday, February 16. The Sinkhole, 7423 South Broadway. $12. 314-328-2309.

[VENUES]

A Farewell to the Funbarn Written by

KYLE MCNEIL

B

y the time the last notes of Ultraman’s set have rung out on February 15, 2020, Fubar will have stood tall for twelve years as St. Louis’ de facto home of hardcore, heavy metal and hip-hop shows. In that timeframe, innumerable venues have come and gone while the shotgun-style, double-sided space occasionally called the Funbarn defied the odds.

But, as the cliche goes, all good things must come to an end. Fubar is closing, and in its place a much larger, shiny new venue, Red Flag, will open its doors.

St. Louis scene veterans will know that we can’t discuss the history of Fubar without bringing up long-shuttered venue the Creepy Crawl. A staple of St. Louis’ hardcore and heavy metal community in the ’90s and early aughts, not only did the Creepy Crawl host a wide range of shows from iconic bands, the tiny, stickered-up North Tucker dive employed several of the key players who would go on to open the short-lived second Creepy Crawl on Washington Avenue — and eventually Fubar.

Fubar would prove to be at least a slightly classier evolution of the dingy punk rock joint while still maintaining the ethos of the hardcore culture, as most evident in its logo — a blatant homage to the iconic Black Flag bars tattooed on many of the venue’s patrons.

Over its decade-plus run, Fubar has hosted scores upon scores of iconic punk and metal acts: Black Flag, Fear, the Dead Kennedys, the Business, T.S.O.L, H.R. from Bad Brains, Pentagram and many, many others have all come through Fubar’s hallowed halls.

These names may not mean much to the average Warped Tour scenesters, but for those who grew up on these acts, and grew old with these acts, Fubar has been a stalwart of the community. Every middle-aged St. Louisan with a mohawk knows that they could go see their favorite bands and enjoy some cheap canned beers at the bar (or in their car) without paying exorbitant fees or dealing with militant, fun-hating security.

The venue began as one large, shotgun style room with a stage near the door and the bar at the back. When entering the venue, you could go straight in to the main room, or 21-and-up patrons could make a detour to the left and hang out in the lounge, quietly enjoying beers and socializing while the opening bands played. A couple years into Fubar’s tenure, the lounge tables were cleared out and DIY promoters could rent the area for their own shows, as long as they brought their own PA.

Rhode Island noise-rock act Daughters is just one of many influential bands that graced Fubar’s stage over the years. | CHELSEA DUFRESNE

Over its decadeplus run, Fubar has hosted scores upon scores of iconic punk and metal acts.

Eventually, that bare space gave way to a small stage a couple inches high and house PA stacks with side-fill monitors, which in turn gave way to the approximately two-foot-high stage that stands there today, equipped with the PA system from the now defunct Firebird. In the past couple of years, Fubar’s owner Bob Fancher has even upgraded the venue side to include a modest green room and a crow’s nest area in the back.

For all the good times, unfortunately there has been no shortage of controversy over the past twelve years. As both Fubar and Red Flag reside at Locust Street and Cardinal Avenue, Fubar has always relied on metered street parking, much of which lies out of eyeshot of venue staff and concertgoers outside enjoying a smoke. Most folks opt not to pay for the secured lot across the street — which provided a veritable buffet of potential loot for anyone who knew how to pop a lock.

This crime wave came to a head from 2014 to 2015, after a certain sludge band was ripped off for a couple grand in cash, which spurred a particularly aggressive streak of break-ins. This resulted in a lot of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed young bands getting their first taste of the grittiness of the world, some of them adamantly and very publicly insisting that Fubar employees, even the owner himself, conspired to commit the robberies.

The actual culprits of these crimes eventually being apprehended did very

little to relieve Fubar of their reputation as the place where bands get robbed, and seldom, if ever, have any of the accusing bands apologized for the controversy. Fubar, for its part, combated this crime surge by increasing lighting outside the venue, posting signage encouraging patrons to not leave valuables in their cars, advising where to park and oftentimes employing additional staff to specifically watch the outside areas.

Speaking as a musician myself whose first real venue show was at Fubar in summer 2008, as well as a former employee and just in general a dude who goes to a decent amount of shows, the closing of Fubar is definitely bittersweet.

I’ve gotten to see so many of my favorite bands there, played some of my biggest shows there and learned a lot about the music industry there. While Red Flag surely offers a bigger, arguably better concert experience, we still don’t know a whole lot about what this means for the smaller shows that have long been a mainstay of the venue and lounge.

Fubar typically capped out at about 500 people, whereas by some estimates, Red Flag could accommodate as many as 1,200, putting it in league with Delmar Hall, Pop’s and the Pageant. The closing of Fubar represents the death of one of the last of a dying breed of mid-sized venues in St. Louis, which could certainly serve as a boost to some of the smaller, more DIY venues in town such as the Sinkhole.

I will miss it, but I for one can’t wait to see what the new space offers, and I can’t express my gratitude enough for what Fubar has provided to this city’s music community over the past twelve years. It will be missed.

Fubar’s final show will be held February 15 at 7 p.m. with performances by Fister, Ultraman, Slow Damage and the Disappeared. Red Flag’s grand opening on March 28 features local favorites Fragile Porcelain Mice, Ashes and Iron, Bastard and Blight Future.

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OUT EVERY NIGHT

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[CRITIC’S PICK]

Sloan. | VIA THE FELDMAN AGENCY

Sloan 8 p.m. Saturday, February 15. The Duck Room at Blueberry Hill, 6504 Delmar Boulevard, University City. $22 to $25.

314-727-4444.

Power-pop bands come and go, but Sloan has remained, its near 30-year run a testament to a collective dedication to craft and a refusal to abandon faith in melody and economical song form, which the band (whose four members all write and sing) bends, twists, mashes-up and deconstructs without ever losing the heart and the thrill of the power and the pop. At a Sloan show, we are all rock & roll cultists, all record-

THURSDAY 13

ADAM MANESS TRIO: w/ Malena Smith 8 p.m., $15. Joe’s Cafe, 6014 Kingsbury Ave, St. Louis.

CLINT LOWERY: 8 p.m., $25. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

KING PRINCESS: 8 p.m., $25-$27.50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

THE MATCHING SHOE: 7 p.m., free. The Abbey, 6500 W. Main St., Belleville, 618-398-3176.

PEEKABOO: 8 p.m., free. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

SHAKEY GRAVES: 8 p.m., $30. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

WOODEN PUDDIN: 8:30 p.m., free. The Frisco Barroom, 8110 Big Bend Blvd., Webster Groves, 314-455-1090.

FRIDAY 14

ANGÉLIQUE KIDJO: 8 p.m., $45-$60. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900.

ARVELL & CO: 7 p.m., $5. Ameristar CasinoBottleneck Blues Bar, 1 Ameristar Blvd., St. Charles, 636-940-4966.

DANCING WITH THE STARS: 8 p.m., $36.50-$76.50.

Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600.

DENNIS DEYOUNG AND THE MUSIC OF STYX: 8 p.m., $29.50. River City Casino & Hotel, 777 River City Casino Blvd., St. Louis, 314-388-7777.

DIRTY HONEY: w/ the Amazons 8 p.m., $17-$19.

Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis,

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store nerds; the classic and obscure hooks and references come fast and delirious, like spinning the FM dial circa 1975. Or maybe ’65, ’85 or ’95, as the Toronto-based band distills post-Beatles and post-Kinks rock into a sound unbounded by time. You don’t have to know as much about rock & roll as these Torontonians do; you just have to feel it and hum it along with them.

Return Trip: Due to illness, Sloan had to cancel its November 2019 gig at the Duck Room. This week’s show will celebrate twenty years (technically 22, but who’s counting?) of its excellent fourth album Navy Blues.

—Roy Kasten

314-588-0505.

JAMESON RODGERS: w/ Sarah Allison Turner 8 p.m., $15. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

LEAGUE 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY: 8 p.m., $10.

Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

MICHAEL RAY AND CARLY PEARCE: 8 p.m., $20.

Ballpark Village, 601 Clark Ave, St. Louis, 314-345-9481.

NEIL SALSICH & FRIENDS: 9:30 p.m., free. The Frisco Barroom, 8110 Big Bend Blvd., Webster Groves, 314-455-1090.

PAUL CAUTHEN: w/ the Kernal 8 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

T.J. MULLER’S VALENTINES DAY SHOW: 8 p.m., $12-$15. The Focal Point, 2720 Sutton Blvd, St. Louis, 314-560-2778.

TEDDY RILEY & BLACKSTREET: w/ Bobby Brown, Jagged Edge, SWV, El DeBarge, Doug E. Fresh 7:30 p.m., $52.50-$178. Chaifetz Arena, 1 S. Compton Ave., St. Louis, 314-977-5000.

THREE PEDROS: 7 p.m., free. Hwy 61 Roadhouse and Kitchen, 34 S Old Orchard Ave, Webster Groves, 314-968-0061.

WILLIAM DUVALL: 8 p.m., $20-$25. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

WINTER // MIXER: 6:30 p.m., $12. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

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[CRITIC’S PICK]

Raphael Saadiq. | VIA PRESS HERE PRODUCTIONS

Raphael Saadiq 8 p.m. Wednesday, February 19. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Boulevard. $35-$40. 314-726-6161.

Over a career that has spanned more than 30 years, Raphael Saadiq has been responsible for innumerable hits in the world of hip-hop and, especially, R&B. From his early work as a member of Tony!

Toni! Toné! to his collaborations with the likes of A Tribe Called Quest, Mary J. Blige, Whitney Houston, the Isley Brothers, the Roots, Erykah Badu (and countless others) to his solo output, Saadiq has proven himself a master of silky hooks and smooth production. But it wasn’t until

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SATURDAY 15

AMERICAN AUTHORS: w/ Magic Giant, Public 8 p.m., $25-$28. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

DAVID LEISNER & MICHAEL KELLY: 7:30 p.m., $28$32. Union Avenue Christian Church, 733 N. Union Blvd., St. Louis, 314-361-8844.

DENNIS DEYOUNG AND THE MUSIC OF STYX: 8 p.m., $29.50. River City Casino & Hotel, 777 River City Casino Blvd., St. Louis, 314-388-7777.

EMO VALENTINE’S DAY: w/ Finding Emo 9 p.m., $10. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226.

FEYZA EREN: 11 a.m., $5-$12. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900.

FUBAR FAREWELL SHOW: w/ Fister, Ultraman, Slow Damage, the Disappeared 8 p.m., $8.

Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

IRATION: w/ Iya Terra, Ballyhoo!, The Ries Brothers 6:30 p.m., $25-$49.50. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

MISSOURI MUSES: A CELEBRATION OF MO WOMEN IN ROCK: w/ Alna, The Burney Sisters, Molly Healey 6 p.m., $10/$13. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis, 314-775-0775.

POPPY: 8 p.m., $23.25-$25.25. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

SHIVER: 9 p.m., free. Nightshift Bar & Grill, 3979 Mexico Road, St. Peters, 636-441-8300.

SLLAW IN SPACE: w/ Bates 8 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

SLOAN: 8 p.m., $22-$25. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City,

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last year’s Jimmy Lee that the renowned artist really dug into his own sometimes tragic life for inspiration. Jimmy Lee is a concept album named after Saadiq’s brother, who died of a heroin overdose in the ’90s after contracting HIV. It’s heavy stuff, but the album’s darker tone makes it all the more compelling. And critics and fans alike are taking notice: A recent New York Times profile even suggested the album is a “masterpiece.” It’s easy to see how they came to that conclusion.

Small Office Furniture: Saadiq’s December appearance on NPR’s Tiny Desk series serves as an excellent refresher course on the man’s many gifts, for those who need such a thing.

—Daniel Hill 314-727-4444.

SWITCHBACK ALBUM RELEASE SHOW: 8 p.m., $25-$30. The Focal Point, 2720 Sutton Blvd, St. Louis, 314-560-2778.

TRAVELIN’ BAND: 1 p.m., free. Great Grizzly Bear, 1027 Geyer Ave., St. Louis, 314-231-0444.

THE WARBUCKLES: 9:30 p.m., free. The Frisco Barroom, 8110 Big Bend Blvd., Webster Groves, 314-455-1090.

SUNDAY 16

(HED) P.E.: 6:30 p.m., $20-$22. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

HIP-HOP FOR HOUNDS: 2:30 p.m., $35-$100. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

MATT LIVASY: 1:30 p.m., free. Great Grizzly Bear, 1027 Geyer Ave., St. Louis, 314-231-0444.

PAUL BROCK BAND: 7:30 p.m., $15-$20. The Focal Point, 2720 Sutton Blvd, St. Louis, 314-560-2778.

STILL SILENT BUT SEXY DISCO: w/ Alexis Tucci, Sinamin, Mark Lewis, Kid Kosher, Agile1, Crate2Crate, 18andcounting, Joe Luckey, Saylor 8 p.m., $12. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis, 314-775-0775.

TUESDAY 18

BODYSNATCHER: 6:30 p.m., $13. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

JIM GAFFIGAN: 7 p.m., $46.75. Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600.

ST. LOUIS SOCIAL CLUB: 8 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

U.P.S. KICKBACK: 7 p.m., free. Blank Space, 2847 Cherokee St., St. Louis.

WEDNESDAY 19

CLARK BECKHAM: 8 p.m., $15-$50. Off Broad-

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[CRITIC’S PICK]

Mattiel. | VIA RED LIGHT MANAGEMENT

Mattiel 8 p.m. Wednesday, February 19. The Duck Room at Blueberry Hill, 6504 Delmar Boulevard. $15. 314-727-4444.

Atlanta-based musician Mattiel straddles a generational divide: She makes 1960s-indebted, garage-rock-inspired songs, but with a millenial eye toward presentation and showmanship. For her second record, Satis Factory, Mattiel Brown has made a slew of videos that shows the singer in a variety of

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way, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

MATTIEL: 8 p.m., $13-$15. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

RAPHAEL SAADIQ: 8 p.m., $35-$40. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

SONGBIRD CAFE: 7:30 p.m., $20-$25. The Focal Point, 2720 Sutton Blvd, St. Louis, 314-560-2778.

THIS JUST IN ANDREW BIRD: W/ Calexico, Iron & Wine, Mon., June 22, 7:15 p.m., $45-$80. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

BAND SCRAMBLE 2020: Sat., Feb. 29, 7 p.m., $10. South Broadway Athletic Club, 2301 S. Seventh St., St. Louis, 314-776-4833.

DAVINA AND THE VAGABONDS: Sat., April 25, 8 p.m., $30-$55. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745.

DEAD & COMPANY: Mon., July 13, 7 p.m., $51.50$177.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944.

DR. ZHIVEGAS: Sat., March 7, 7 p.m., $7. Ameristar Casino-Bottleneck Blues Bar, 1 Ameristar Blvd., St. Charles, 636-940-4966.

DUELING PIANOS: Fri., March 6, 7 p.m., $5. Fri., April 3, 7 p.m., $5. Ameristar Casino-Bottleneck Blues Bar, 1 Ameristar Blvd., St. Charles, 636-940-4966.

JANET JACKSON: Fri., July 31, 8 p.m., $49.95$499.95. Enterprise Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888.

JIM GAFFIGAN: Tue., Feb. 18, 7 p.m., $46.75.

Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600.

outfits (factory worker, Dynasty-esque matriarch) engaging in fits of exertion and destruction. Her sense of play and self-abasement on screen matches the verve and energy of her songs, which sometimes channel fellow Georgia weirdos the Black Lips as well as Caroline Rose’s frenetic pop nail-bombs.

Fowl Is Fair: Local bedroom-pop buddies Frankie Valet will open the show with a set of songs from the band’s justreleased LP Waterfowl.

—Christian Schaeffer

LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM: Fri., May 1, 8 p.m., $45.

The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

MEGADETH: W/ Lamb of God, Trivium, In Flames, Sat., July 11, 6 p.m., $25-$99.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944.

MS UNDERSTOOD: Sat., April 25, 7:30 p.m., free.

Great Grizzly Bear, 1027 Geyer Ave., St. Louis, 314-231-0444.

NEKO CASE: Fri., June 26, 8 p.m., $32-$55. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900.

PETTYCASH: TRIBUTE TO TOM PETTY & JOHNNY CASH: Fri., April 10, 7 p.m., $5. Ameristar Casino-Bottleneck Blues Bar, 1 Ameristar Blvd., St. Charles, 636-940-4966.

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE: W/ Run the Jewels, Sat., May 16, 6 p.m., $122. Enterprise Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888.

ROLLING STONES: Sat., June 27, 8 p.m., TBA. The Dome at America’s Center, 701 Convention Plaza St., St. Louis, 314-342-5201.

SAMURAI 5: Sat., March 21, 9 p.m., free. Nightshift Bar & Grill, 3979 Mexico Road, St. Peters, 636-441-8300.

ST. LOUIS SOCIAL CLUB: Tue., Feb. 18, 8 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

STEVE EWING & STEVEN WOOLLEY: Sat., April 18, 7:30 p.m., free. Great Grizzly Bear, 1027 Geyer Ave., St. Louis, 314-231-0444.

STILL SILENT BUT SEXY DISCO: W/ Alexis Tucci, Sinamin, Mark Lewis, Kid Kosher, Agile1, Crate2Crate, 18andcounting, Joe Luckey, Saylor, Sun., Feb. 16, 8 p.m., $12. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis, 314-775-0775.

TRAVELIN’ BAND: Sat., Feb. 15, 1 p.m., free.

Great Grizzly Bear, 1027 Geyer Ave., St. Louis, 314-231-0444.

TRIXIE DELIGHT: Sat., March 14, 7 p.m., $7. Ameristar Casino-Bottleneck Blues Bar, 1 Ameristar Blvd., St. Charles, 636-940-4966. n

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SAVAGE LOVE THE GIRLS

BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: My boyfriend and I were having relationship issues until we tried something new: pegging. He wanted to try it, but he was afraid and sometimes said the idea disgusted him. Then we tried it, and it was better than normal vanilla or even kinky bondage sex. It was the most emotionally connected sex we’ve ever had. I actually pegged him three times in 24 hours. He says now he wants to be “the girl” in our relationship. He doesn’t want to transition to become a girl, but to be more “the girl” sexually and emotionally. I see this as sexy and loving. I’ve always taken care of him in a nurturing way, but this adds so much more. I feel bad about sending this long story just to ask a simple question, but ... how do I be more “the guy” for my boyfriend who wants to be more “the girl”? Not just sexually, but in everyday life?

The Boyfriend Experience “It’s amazing these two found each other,” said Key Barrett, a trained anthropologist. “They communicate and obviously create spaces to be vulnerable together and explore.”

Barrett has studied female-led relationships (FLR) and written books — fiction and nonfiction — about them, B , and his first concern was your boyfriend succumbing to “sub-frenzy,” or a burning desire to realize all his fantasies at once. You guys aren’t new to kink — you mention bondage — but you’ve found something that taps into some deep-seated desires, and you don’t want to move too fast. “Pegging opened up a huge box of shiny new emotions and feelings,” said Barrett.

“That’s great, but they should take it slow, especially if they want this dynamic to be a part of the day-today relationship.”

You also need to bear in mind that pegging, while wonderful, won’t solve your underlying (and unspecified “relationship issues.

Unless, of course, the issue was your boyfriend feeling anxious about asking you to peg him. If he was worried about walking back

his previous comments, or worried you would judge, shame or dump him over this, that could have been the cause of your conict, and the pegging — by some miracle — was the solution.

But, hey, you didn’t ask about those other issues — you didn’t even name them — so let’s focus on your actual question: you being “the guy” and your boyfriend being “the girl.”

“The boyfriend wants TBE to be ‘the guy’ in the relationship to reinforce his desire to be ‘the girl,’” said Barrett, “and she seems okay with this, although she does acknowledge that this would require more than the nurturing and caretaking she’s already showed toward him. That’s a valid concern. His desire to take the kink out of the bedroom and merge it with the day-to-day risks turning her into a kink dispenser.

There’s also the aspect of the boyfriend’s gender stereotyping. Being dominant isn’t unique to men, and being submissive isn’t a ‘feminine’ trait. There are a lot of alpha men in FLRs who shine in support roles for the women they trust.

Female-led relationships don’t rely on stereotypes. Indeed, they often out them by relying not on stereotypical behaviors but on what is a natural dynamic for the couple. In that sense, each FLR is unique.”

While it’s possible that “I want to be the girl” are the only words your boyfriend has to describe the dynamic that turns him on, for some men, sacrificing their “male” power and privilege is an intrinsic part of the eroticism of submitting to a dominant woman.

And that’s okay, too.

“If he legitimately wants to take on a role of supporting her and being her adoring submissive partner while thinking of that role as ‘feminine,’ it could work for them,” said Barrett. “He might really enjoy supporting her decisions and being more of a domestic partner. She might enjoy the support and validation that comes from having a partner who revels in her successes and strength. This could fulfill the caring for him as if I were the boyfriend’ portion (what a loving a statement!) while still feeling natural for TBE.” So how can you get started as “the guy” in this relationship?

“They should, again, start

“I pegged him three times in 24 hours. He says now he wants to be ‘the girl’ in our relationship.” small,” said Barrett. “Maybe delegate a few tasks that were ‘hers’ to him, and she can tell him how she wants them done,” whatever it is (dishes? laundry? cocksucking?), “as this will help ensure the outcome they both want. I would also recommend they both read about what FLRs are and aren’t. FLRs are often kink-friendly, but kink is not required. And they need to remember the key word in ‘femaleled relationship’ is ‘relationship.’”

Follow Key Barrett on Twitter @KeyBarrettMSc. Hey, Dan: I’m a woman, and I was contacted on an app by someone claiming to be a “guydyke.” Based on their profile pictures, I was basically looking at a white, cis, masc-presenting man who’s said he is queer but only attracted to women. And by masc-presenting, I mean I could not pick him out of a lineup of the most average of average-looking straight dudes: drab clothes, a week’s stubble, bad haircut. Granted, nobody is obliged to announce their gender identity through clothing or grooming choices, but how is this guy not straight?

Perplexed “I happen to be one of those ‘oldschool’ lesbians, despite not actually being what most consider to be old,” said Arielle Scarcella, a popular lesbian YouTuber (youtube.com/Arielle) with more than 600,000 subscribers. “Back when I was coming out in 2005, if a male person who lived as a man — a male who lived in such a way that he was always perceived to be a man — claimed he was a lesbian or a dyke, we’d shut them down.

But in 2020, it’s only acceptable to accept everyone for what they say they are. I disagree. Part of

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being a lesbian, being a woman, is also cultural and societal. It’s not simply an identity. Living in the world as a woman matters.

A biological male who presents as a man and has sex only with women will never know what it’s like to be treated as a woman or a lesbian. He can identify however he likes, of course, but he will be perceived as a straight man who’s fetishizing queer women.”

Hey, Dan: I’m in my late 20s and genderfluid. I have a male physique, but at times I feel more feminine. I suddenly can’t shake the desire to have more feminine breasts. I’ve been looking at women with C or D cups and wishing I had boobs that big. I’ve spent time looking into breast enhancement, but I live in the Midwest. It’s not as bad as the South, but there are still plenty of people who believe violating gender norms is a sin. I guess I don’t know what I’m trying to ask other than whether this is normal.

Bro Obsessed Over Bust Size It’s not normal — in the literal, non-pejorative sense — for an “assigned male at birth” person who presents as male to want to slap large boobs on his otherwise male-presenting physique. But so what? If you’re worried about how your boobs will be received there in the Midwest, perhaps you could get yourself a pair of what drag queens call “chicken cutlets,” i.e., silicone breast enhancers that tuck into a bra, and try wearing them out.

For the record, kids, I’m not e uating being gender uid with drag, even though many drag queens (but not all) identify as gender uid and many genderuid people but not all do drag.

(I never get tired of tap-dancing my way through this minefield.

But back when I was doing drag, BOOBS, a pair of chicken cutlets artfully placed under my pecs created a pretty realistic looking set of big ol’ titties. Think of chicken cutlets as a temporary, nonsurgical breast-enhancement option — to test the locals as well as your desire to have breasts.

Check out Dan’s podcast at savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

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