Riverfront Times, May 22, 2019

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RI V E RF RONT T I ME S. COMI F RE E

HOTTI ME, SUMMER I NTHECI TY

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THE LEDE

Bryan Diaz: “If I was to give advice to other queer brown kids, it would be to be true to yourself and ride it out. Don’t fake anything to where you’re faking a big chunk of your life. Just be honest and everything will fall into place.”

PHOTO BY THEO WELLING

Jimmy McFan: “No matter what color you are, you’re going to go through trouble with this non-straight stuff. You have to first accept yourself, and then the rest doesn’t matter. If you’re OK with yourself, then you’ll be fine, no matter what.”

JIMMY MCFAN, LEFT, AND BRYAN DIAZ, PHOTOGRAPHED AT THE SOUTH COUNTY MALL CARNIVAL FAIR ON MAY 19 riverfronttimes.com

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Sarah Fenske

E D I T O R I A L Arts & Culture Editor Paul Friswold Music Editor Daniel Hill Digital Editor Jaime Lees Staff Writers Doyle Murphy, Danny Wicentowski Restaurant Critic Cheryl Baehr Film Critic Robert Hunt Columnist Ray Hartmann Contributing Writers Mike Appelstein, Allison Babka, Thomas Crone, Jenn DeRose, Mike Fitzgerald, Sara Graham, MaryAnn Johanson, Roy Kasten, Jaime Lees, Joseph Hess, Kevin Korinek, Bob McMahon, Lauren Milford, Nicholas Phillips, Tef Poe, Christian Schaeffer Proofreader Evie Hemphill Editorial Interns Ryan Gines, Chelsea Neuling, Benjamin Simon

COVER Choose Your Own STL Adventure You are in the driver’s seat for the 2019 iteration of our annual Summer Guide — and the choices you make could turn you into a St. Louis legend or lead to humiliation and broken bones. Whatever you pick, we hope you’ll find inspiration for some summer adventures of your own ... or at least a reminder to duck.

A R T Art Director Evan Sult Contributing Photographers Virginia Harold, Tim Lane, Monica Mileur, Zia Nizami, Andy Paulissen, Nick Schnelle, Mabel Suen, Micah Usher, Theo Welling, Jen West, Corey Woodruff P R O D U C T I O N Production Manager Haimanti Germain M U L T I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Sales Director Colin Bell Senior Account Executive Cathleen Criswell, Erica Kenney Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel Multimedia Account Executive Drew Halliday, Jackie Mundy C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

Story by RFT STAFF

E U C L I D M E D I A G R O U P Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services Stacy Volhein Creative Director Tom Carlson www.euclidmediagroup.com

Cover illustration by

N A T I O N A L A D V E R T I S I N G VMG Advertising 1-888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com

SEAN DOVE

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INSIDE The Lede Hartmann

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News Feature Calendar

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Missouri’s new abortion law is a violation of human rights

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by Euclid Media Group Verified Audit Member Riverfront Times 308 N. 21st Street, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63103 www.riverfronttimes.com General information: 314-754-5966 Fax administrative: 314-754-5955 Fax editorial: 314-754-6416 Founded by Ray Hartmann in 1977

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HARTMANN Violated Missouri’s eight-week abortion ban assaults women’s rights

BY RAY HARTMANN

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n some primitive cultures, when a young girl or woman becomes pregnant, she can be forced against her will by the tribe’s male elders to bear the child, even if she has been raped.

Welcome to Missouri.

Joining a festering “Us Too” movement of extremely red state governments, Missouri’s Republican super-majority and governor have enacted a law they call “prolife,” but that in reality is antireligious freedom and an assault on the constitutional privacy and reproductive rights of women.

In political parlance, it’s an unfunded government mandate re-

quiring that all pregnant women bring their pregnancy to term unless their own life is threatened, a stipulation included grudgingly.

Initially, the ban on abortions will apply to women after eight weeks of pregnancy, a time frame bearing no relationship to “life” as defined y t e ill s patrons. t appears to have been pulled out of a political hat to make the measure as resistant as possible to meddling by liberal judges. But there’s an important caveat: The law’s eight-week period vanishes if Republicans achieve their stated end game of repealing Roe v. Wade. At that point, all abortions short of medical emergencies would be banned in Missouri.

As you know, Roe was the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court ruling that affirmed a oman s constitutional rights to privacy and abortion, stopping states from outright outlawing the procedure. But Missouri Republicans are also targeting the high court’s 1992 landmark verdict in Planned Parenthood

v. Casey, which expanded Roe by saying states cannot place “undue burden” on women seeking abortions until after a fetus is viable.

In the short run, Missouri Republicans’ attack on women’s rights will not be implemented as actual tribal law. The legislation is certain to be frozen like an embryo in a fertility clinic while the matter slithers its way through the judicial system.

I choose that unsettling analogy for a reason: to call attention to an overlooked detail of Missouri’s new eight-week standard. This legislation is governing embryos, not fetuses, much less babies. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the developing organism in a woman’s ody is officially no n as an emryo t rou t e first ei t ee s of pregnancy. Only in the ninth week is it labeled a fetus.

The “pro-life” side has a problem when the subject turns to embryos because they differ even amon t emselves on t e defini-

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tion of life. ost define conception as when the union of an ovum and a sperm, known as a zygote, has been implanted in the uterus. But others believe stem-cell research constitutes murder. Still more apply the term to the practice of discarding unused embryos at a fertility clinic. And so on.

I’ve been in many debates on this subject — including a memorable one-on-one battle with the late yllis c la y in a pac ed south county church — and whenever I’ve argued that this is a religious question and not a governmental one, the other side has always defaulted to the claim that it is empirical scientific fact t at life begins at conception. But that assertion is belied by their own lack of consensus on the subject.

The corollary should be obvious: Determining the origin of life is a matter of religious, ethical or moral consideration. There’s nothing empirical about it.

That’s why the government

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needs to balance women’s reproductive rights with those of a developing fetus. I believe the courts have gotten it right with the landmark cases: On one hand, a woman’s constitutional right to privacy and to terminate a pregnancy are unambiguous, but that’s balanced against the interests of the viable fetus — one capable of living independently outside the mother’s womb. I believe the government has not only the right but the responsibility to protect human life at viability — but not before.

There’s no denying that people of good faith view this emotional topic differently. Roman Catholics, Baptists, Lutherans and many other Christian denominations believe strongly that life begins at conception. They should be respected for that belief and have unlimited freedom to live their lives according to their faith.

But a substantial number of other major religions dissent.

Some regard life originating at a different point. Some see the topic as an ethical and moral matter that must be resolved privately by each individual woman, not religious leaders and certainly not the state. That includes the Presbyterian and Episcopalian churches, the United Church of Christ, Reform and Conservative Judaism, Unitarians, Buddhists and Muslims. Not to mention the millions of Americans who don’t identify with any faith or who might be atheists or agnostics with their own set of ethics.

In Judaism, for example, references exist in the Talmud to life beginning when the baby’s head emerges from the womb, a concept compatible with the Supreme Court’s fetal-viability standard. Islamic teachings reference the soul enters the body at 40 days after conception, and views on abortion vary widely within the faith.

Whatever the religious belief, it should be as respected as those of Christian faiths that oppose abortion. The First Amendment states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” That pretty well seems beyond debate in this case.

But in Missouri, the travesty we just witnessed didn’t rise to the level of debate. Instead, the Republican super ma ority e ed its political super-powers and rammed through a show-pony law designed to let the world know that no one can “out-pro-life” us. And

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The law’s eightweek period vanishes if Republicans achieve their stated end game of repealing Roe v. Wade. even that wasn’t quite enough: They had to channel their inner Todd Akin and trot out creepy old men to double down on our new motto as the “Show-Me-Why-RapeIs-That-Big-a-Deal” state.

It’s vile enough that the state would require young girls and women to bring into the world their rapists’ spawn — I cannot imagine a more immoral thing — but things became exponentially worse when a mouth-breather state representative from the Bootheel introduced the heretofore oxymoronic phrase “consensual rape” to explain why those girls and women need to pipe down.

That, of course, made headlines.

Here’s what didn’t: The bill banning abortion is accompanied by a state budget allocation of zero dollars to take any steps whatsoever to prevent unintended pregnancies from happening in the first place.

Even in this toxic environment, you’d think that the warring factions could find a reement on steps to prevent the need for abortions. How about public-health campaigns on safe sex, or wider access to contraceptives, or more resources for effective sex education in our schools?

With the new bill undoubtedly tied up in the courts for the foreseeable future, we’ve got time on our hands. How about some bipartisan legislation? A governor’s task force? Is there really nothing than can be done to address the causes, rather than the symptoms, of too many unintended pregnancies? I’m afraid we all know the answer to those questions, because this, sadly, is Missouri.

We’re a primitive culture. n Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhartmann@sbcglobal.net or catch him on St. Louis In the Know With Ray Hartmann and Jay Kanzler from 9 to 11 p.m.

Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

NEWS

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Webster Game Design Program Under Fire Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

M Pro-choice protesters pushed back in St. Louis a few weeks before Friday’s passage of a broad abortion ban in Jefferson City. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI

‘Consensual Rapes’ Cited in Abortion Ban Passage Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

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n Friday, the Missouri House voted to approve some of the strictest abortion laws in the country, and because it’s Missouri, the process somehow managed to include a Republican lawmaker defending the bill by talking about, sigh, “consensual rapes.”

It’s almost like Todd Akin never left.

The comment came from Representative Barry Hovis (R-Cape Girardeau) during debate over House Bill 126, an “omnibus” bill that packages multiple abortion restrictions. It includes a provision that would ban abortions after after eight weeks and would threaten doctors performing the newly illegal abortions with up to

fifteen years in prison.

Not included in the bill: any exception for rape or incest. During Friday’s debate, multiple opponents of the bill spoke out against the bill’s blanket enforcement, with some pointing to a case in Ohio in which an eleven-year-old girl was raped and impregnated by her father. Even in such a situation, HB 126 would not provide a legal exception for abortion beyond the eight-week window — sooner than many women are even aware they are pregnant.

It was on the issue of exceptions for rape victims that Hovis, a retired Cape Girardeau police lieutenant first elected to office in 2017, took his stand. He pointed out that “most of the rapes” that he saw in law enforcement didn’t involve “gentlemen jumping out of bushes.”

“Most of them were date rapes or consensual rapes,” he continued, “which were all terrible, but I’d sit in court when juries would struggle with those situations, where it was a ‘he-said-she-said,’ which was unfortunate if it really happened.”

Having suggested that rape is often no big deal — because hey, if it didn’t happen at gunpoint, it’s a real struggle for a jury to know what to do — Hovis finally seemed to find

his point, which appeared to be that rape victims would still have plenty of time, after the rape, to decide whether to get an abortion.

“But let’s say someone is sexually assaulted, they have eight weeks to make a decision. I’ve heard of the morning-after pill ... it gives ample time in those eight weeks to make those exclusions, which I may not be comfortable with, but it does give people those exclusions.”

Hovis’ comment was immediately noted by observers and several Democratic lawmakers, who countered during the debate that there is no such thing as consensual rape and that the House bill would indeed require raped women and girls to carry pregnancies to term. In the words of the Kansas City Star’s Crystal Thomas, “A lot of ‘whats’ rang around the chamber.” After all, in Missouri, lawmakers may be very comfortable telling women what to do with their bodies, but everyone knows you don’t pull an Akin.

After the vote — the bill now goes to Missouri Governor Mike Parson, who is just giddy as can be to sign it — Hovis backtracked and claimed he’d misspoken.

“There is no such thing as consensual rape,” he told Thomas. He then apologized, she says. n

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ore than a dozen students and a (now former) adjunct professor say Webster University’s Games and Games Design program is facing a breakdown over its lead faculty member, Joshua Yates, who was the subject of a Title IX complaint from a female student in 2018.

That student, Tamsen Reed, graduated earlier this month, earning a bachelor’s degree after majoring in game design. She provided to the Riverfront Times her original Title IX complaint, which alleges that Yates was “bragging to other students that [Reed] was coming on to him.”

Reed says other students told her about Yates’ inappropriate comments. Her complaint included screengrabs of their reports, which included Yates asking them if Reed was the type of student who would have sex with a professor for a good grade.

Yet even though Reed complained to the university in May 2018, providing documentation and lining up witnesses, she says it failed to act.

Days before Webster’s commencement ceremony, Reed and her supporters released a packet of statements covering more than 60 pages of complaints about Yates. Tweeting out a link to the material, Reed wrote that she had chosen to go public “in the spirit of the #RiotWalkout,” referencing a mass employee protest at Los Angeles-based Riot Games last week over allegations of a workplace abuses and enforced arbitration.

The next day, Webster adjunct assistant professor Rob Santos announced that he was resigning in support of students like Reed.

He publicly blasted the “predatory academic misconduct in the

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GAME DESIGN Continued from pg 9

#gamedev program.”

Title IX complaints use as their base a 1972 federal civil rights law prohibiting sex discrimination in education programs receiving federal funding. Title IX implementation is a highly fraught subject for universities. Schools in Missouri and across the country have been blasted not only by victims — who often encounter a lack of transparency and accountability from officials — ut also t ose accused of violations, who must defend themselves in a system that doesn’t provide the due process rights of regular criminal courts.

But while many Title IX complaints focus on student-to-student interaction, Reed’s is directed at the professor running the department she just graduated from — and the inappropriate conversations he had about her with other students.

In one text exchange included in Reed’s complaint, a student told Reed that her professor’s interest in her had been “a topic of discussion for a few weeks,” and that Yates had asked the class if Reed as tryin to irt it im.

In a second text exchange, a different student told Reed that Yates had “built up an extremely stupid idea that you were possibly trying to seduce him,” and that the professor had presented the in-class discussions about her as a “form of defense ust in case s e later filed a Title IX complaint against him. fter filin t e complaint eed was taken out of her class with Yates and placed in another class with a different professor, Santos, who is now joining her protest. Beyond taking that action, though, Reed says Webster’s Title office as stopped respondin to her emails requesting updates on its investigation.

Yates, Reed says in an interview, “skeeved me out from the beginning.” As a result, she says, the two “had very limited contact” outside the classroom. She says there was no attempted seduction between them.

Instead, Reed says she learned of her professor’s fascination with her from students taking his other classes. During one particularly uncomfortable moment, she says s e as on a first date it one of Yates’ interns when the young man remarked, “Oh, you’re the one that Yates was bragging about coming onto him.’”

A Michigan native, Reed says that she enrolled in Webster’s

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Tamsen Reed complained about a professor, but Webster failed to act. | COURTESY OF TAMSEN REED video-game design program after meeting a school representative at a local college fair. Admission, she adds, came with “a good scholarship,” and despite the nontraditional major, it prompted her to make the move to St. Louis.

Launched in 2014, video-game design is a relatively new major at e ster. de ree in t e field offers no guarantee for employment in an industry where such degrees remain rare, and where game developers expect prospective employees to possess specific tec nical skills and a serious portfolio.

It’s also an industry with a longstanding sexism problem.

“I was aware of what it meant to be a woman joining the industry,” Reed says now. “I braced myself for the impact of being undervalued and being sexually harassed, but I didn’t think it would be so soon. I expected to at least join the industry before it happened.”

The public complaints from Reed and thirteen other students go beyond Yates’ alleged statements about Reed. In written statements, multiple students describe Yates broadly as an incompetent game designer and uninterested educator who refused to teach the skills required to complete his assignments.

One student, Patrick Rausch, concluded his letter with a plea to Webster: “Please start giving a damn about the game majors. Stop giving us false hope for new hardware, facilities, and people who

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know what they are doing. We deserve a quality education too.”

Reached by email, Yates declined to comment on Reed’s Title IX complaint, writing, “Those proceedin s are confidential and ill not reac t e confidentiality of any party, nor address any questions pertaining to those proceedings.” He referred questions about his teaching performance to Webster.

In addition to Santos, Lisa Brunette, a visiting assistant professor who worked alongside Yates in the video-game design program from 2017 to 2018, has thrown her support behind the student protest.

Brunette’s statement described a “toxic culture” at Webster that gave cover to Yates’ incompetence.

Santos, who resigned Friday, wrote that he became alarmed after encountering students taking Yates’ classes and realizing they were “seniors in a games design program who have never coded before.”

And for those students who did have game design skills, Yates purportedly had other plans. Among the students complaining are those who worked at Yates’ company, Accordion Games. An anonymous Webster student gave Tamsen a redacted contract that includes clauses for non-competition and non-disparagement, and a provision requiring the student employee to devote “substantially all of his business time” to company work.

In an email, Yates says that “Ac-

cordion Games was registered with the University and authorized to provide for-credit internship opportunities for students.” He adds, “No students were ever requested to sign a contract at any time as part of the internship program.”

Rausch, the Webster student who wrote about wanting Webster to “give a damn” about the game design program, tells a different story. When Rausch sought work as Yates’ student intern, he claims the professor “insisted I sign [a contract] on several occasions,” saying, “He did in fact ask me to come by and sign paperor in is office ic did not because I knew it was a shitshow.”

Reed provided RFT with text messages from two other students she said had been Yates’ interns.

Both wrote that they signed contracts with Accordion Games. And Santos says he monitored Yates’ student employees as a professor; he claims that none were ever paid and that Yates repackaged student work as his own.

In his emailed response to RFT, ates confirmed t at t e company’s game GloGo began as a student project. Yates writes, however, that he published the game at the behest of the student creator, and that while he has offered the creator compensation “from the few sales that the game made ... they have refused to accept their royalty payments at this time.”

Webster University spokesman Patrick Giblin issued a statement addressing only the most general details of the controversy, writing, “Webster University is committed to providing a safe and productive learning environment free from unlawful discrimination of any kind.”

As for Reed’s allegations of sexual harassment, Giblin notes that t e sc ool is ound y confidentiality laws and cannot comment on the Title IX process. He says, “The University takes the recent allegations regarding its Title IX procedures very seriously and has engaged an independent investigator to examine the merit of these claims.”

Although Giblin did not address Yates’ teaching performance, the statement implied the school recognizes the array of complaints raised against Yates.

“The University is investigating all related allegations,” Giblin wrote, and added that Webster “will continue to maintain its strong commitment to providing an educational environment that fosters open and individualized learning experiences for all its students.” n

Airport Consultants Dodge Critics Written by

SARAH FENSKE

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he consultants exploring privatization of St. Louis Lambert International Airport were scheduled to speak at a neighborhood meeting on May 8. They’d been invited by Alderwoman Cara Spencer. And the day before, one reached out to Spencer to confirm.

“I will be in attendance at the meeting on May 8th along with a few colleagues representing Fly 314,” Douglass Petty emailed. “Please confirm location and time frame set aside to engage your constituents. ... There will need to be confirmation by the end of today...”

Spencer wrote back with the address and time, in just twelve minutes. But then Petty wrote her again a few hours later — this time to pull the plug.

“After conferring with the rest of my team, we will not be able to accommodate tomorrow’s meeting,” he wrote.

“Flight schedules and cost make 24 hour notice cost prohibitive.”

It wasn’t just the rapid about-face that made the exchange odd. It was also the suggestion that travel would be

necessary.

Spencer had originally contacted the consultants exploring airport privatization in St. Louis through their Fly 314 website a few weeks before, asking that someone speak at the meeting. It never occurred to her that someone would be coming from out of town. As she fired back in an email to Petty, “I’m shocked that Fly 314, an organization with 41 people listed as advisors, many of whom are local, does not have a single person in the 314 area code.”

As Spencer suggested in her tart reply, Fly 314 has many people on its payroll. After the city signed off last June on hiring consultants to explore leasing its airport to a private company, those consultants scaled up, and quickly.

The Rex Sinquefield-affiliated Grow Missouri leads the team. In the first quarter of 2019 alone, its contractors racked up more than $2.39 million in invoices, records show. And that doesn’t even include Grow Missouri’s work.

It isn’t costing taxpayers — yet. Unless a lease is approved by the city, Sinquefield pays the bills; if the airport is leased, the payments get rolled into whatever deal is approved.

But while the efforts are not costing us, it’s also notable how little they’re engaging us. Yes, Fly 314’s website has a “transparency portal,” which has myriad documents. There’s also a city working group, set up to supervise the consul-

tants; it holds regular meetings that are open to the public. But minutes show that it does its real business behind closed doors, in executive session. And rather than meet the citizens where they are — like, say, the 20th Ward neighborhood meeting, which drew approximately 65 people — Fly 314 has focused on meetings in local libraries. You’d have to monitor the Fly 314 website even to be aware they were happening.

And as for engaging the people most interested in what they’re working on, the St. Louis Not for Sale group pushing for a public vote on an airport lease, Fly 314 seems determined not to be caught in the same room.

In the working group’s April 25 meeting, Fly 314’s LeJuan Strickland explained that Democratic Central Committee. Chairman Michael Butler had invited both Fly 314 and the St. Louis Not for Sale group to a meeting to present.

Fly 314 decided not to participate.

“My thoughts on it is that we don’t attend a panel where it’s pro/con,” Strickland explained. “We’re not at that point yet for pro/con, because there’s really nothing to be pro/con ... we can come and give a brief update of where we are and the timeline, same thing we’ve been doing to other community groups, if we’re OK with that.” Fly 314 ended up skipping the meeting entirely. (The Democratic Central Committee voted to oppose privatization plans.) To date, it

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has yet to appear at any forum where St. Louis Not for Sale is also a guest.

The Fly 314 group knows its meetings haven’t been generating much interest.

Later in the same meeting, Strickland discussed the consultants’ decision to stop recording public presentations. “We haven’t been taping every meeting,” he says, “because the attendance has been so low, and the questions are the same. ... We may get two, three people at some of these meetings.”

Josie Grillas, a St. Louis Not for Sale member who caught a library meeting on March 28, says it was distinctly underwhelming. Three members of the public attended alongside her; they’d gotten fliers on their door just that afternoon, for a meeting that started at 6 p.m.

“It’s just so blatant that they don’t care about reaching out to the public,” she says.

Asked if a desire to avoid pro/con debates was why he’d canceled Fly 314’s participation in the Ward 20 meeting, Petty said it was not. “The allusion being implied does not apply to me,” he wrote.

“We are looking forward to meeting with Alderwoman Spencer and the 20th ward constituents when we are extended a reschedule date.”

But Spencer sounds skeptical on that prospect. “I think we should be having discussions with the general public, and welcome that,” she says. “Clearly, that’s not what Fly 314 is doing.” n

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CHOOSE YOUR OWN ST. LOUIS SUMMER ADVENTURE It’s summer in St. Louis! The sunny skies, the days that seem to go on forever, the humidity that makes your hair do that dumb thing despite your best efforts — it’s finally happening.

But how to celebrate? The city is full of options. You just gotta know where to look, what to do — and just as importantly, what not to do. For instance, don’t freak out when you hear gunshots. That’s the soundtrack of the city, baby.

Your mission, should you, ahem, choose to accept it, is to have the perfect summer day. There are wrong turns and bad ideas around every corner (and, around one, even an ill-behaved beer baron — it’s St. Louis, after all).

But if you keep your head and choose wisely, you’ll learn to dance to the rhythm of those gunshots. And that’s what this city is all about — well, that and the high school question.

Start by choosing one of the options below, then follow the instructions underneath (no cheating, you sneaky peekies). Simple!

Now, let’s get started.

9 1 You wake up with a start — there’s a construction crew hammering away, right outside your window. Ah, summer in the city!

You roll out of bed. You’re off work today, and as you look out the window, you see there’s not a cloud in the sky. The whole day stretches before you.

But first, what are you going to have for breakfast?

How about browsing the stalls for some fresh food? If you choose to head to the Soulard Farmers’ Market for breakfast, turn to page 2.

A tasty omelet at a Central West End cafe sounds delicious right about now! If you choose to eat breakfast at Cafe Osage, turn to page 3.

Breakfast? You mean booze, right? If you choose to down some eye-opener shots in your kitchen before heading off to Southwest Diner for a whole mess of bloody marys and day drinking, turn to page 4.

Concocted by RFT STAFF Illustrations by SEAN DOVE With eternal thanks to EDWARD PACKARD for the original series

There is some old Imo’s in the fridge; that’ll surely suffice for sustenance. If you choose to slam some cold pizza down your gullet before heading to Forest Park to bomb the streets around Art Hill on your skateboard, turn to page 5.

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You choose to head to the Soulard Farmers’ Market for some fresh, locally sourced food.

The Soulard Farmers Market (730 Carroll Street) has been drawing St. Louisans to the city’s historic French neighborhood for nearly 250 years. That’s not a typo — the market was founded in 1779, during St. Louis’ brief period under Spanish rule.

It’s become a year-round destination, offering several quickservice eateries in addition to everything from fresh produce to a deli to a spice shop.

The abundance of nutrients found here has left you feeling energized and vigorous. Where to next?

A feast for the mind would hit the spot after that feast for the body.

If you choose to thumb through some pages at Subterranean Books, turn to page 6.

Perhaps a stroll through a garden of far less edible but no less gorgeous plant life is in order? If you choose to head to the Missouri Botanical Garden, turn to page 7.

You choose to eat breakfast at Cafe Osage.

One of the loveliest daytime spots in the city, Cafe Osage (4605 Olive Street, 314-454-6868) offers fresh fare directly from its owners’ farm in Clarksville, Missouri. You enjoy a shrimp omelet with boursin cheese and avocado in a light-filled space adjacent to a garden shop. After you pay up (your bill is delivered in a charmingly low-tech hardcover book), you mosey on across the street to Holliday (4600 Olive Street, 314-454-5858) to check out what’s for sale at the home and gift store, located in what used to be a 1920s market.

No good St. Louis summer day would be complete without a trip to Forest Park, and it’s right around the corner! But what to do?

If you choose to go for a jog through the park’s scenic running trails, turn to page 8.

If you choose to head to the zoo to gawk at some animals, turn to page 9.

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You choose to celebrate this summer day in true St. Louis fashion: day drinking! After slamming a couple of shots at home you head out for bloody marys at Southwest Diner.

With a vibe straight out of Arizona and terrifically spicy selections, Southwest Diner (6803 Southwest Avenue, 314-260-7244) is almost always packed during brunch hours. The good news: There’s a waiting room for that, and it’s an adorable refurbished school bus. Chilling out in one of its banquettes, you could enjoy a coffee. But why not instead suck down a bloody mary (or several)? Served with a salted rim, they bring the heat ... and the booze buzz. Ahh, summer bliss!

You choose to stuff your face with leftover Imo’s (tasty!) and head to Forest Park to bomb the streets around Art Hill on your skateboard.

Bad move. The park is packed, and Art Hill has more traffic than you might see all summer. Stressed-out county moms in their minivans are all desperately angling for that last free curbside spot. As you skate, you’re hit by a Ford Expedition trying to back in while three kids in the back fight over an iPad. You tumble over the vehicle and into the street, where you’re hit by a Chrysler Pacifica, with yet more kids squawking in the back seat. And just as you stagger to your feet, a literal nightmare screeches before you: A Chevy Traverse with Illinois plates and a Joy FM sticker. There’s no way you can survive this encounter. You stumble to your knees and beg God to forgive you your sins, because your life is over.

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

All that vodka has enlivened your senses and bamboozled your brains — a feeling that reminds you of one of St. Louis’ most beloved institutions. If you choose to have some drunken daytime fun at the City Museum, turn to page 10.

Those salted rims left you mighty thirsty — or maybe you’re just really feeling the day-drinking thing today? If you choose to head to Hammerstone’s to keep the good times rolling with a few pints, turn to page 11.

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You choose to head to the Loop to pick up some new literature at Subterranean Books, you sophisticated brainiac.

One of the city’s great independent bookstores, Subterranean Books (6275 Delmar Boulevard, University City; 314-862-6100) offers a perfectly curated selection of buzzy bestsellers and literary favorites behind glass windows facing the Loop’s street parade. You duck inside for a good children’s book or that collection of music criticism — they specialize in both. You also pet Teddy, the shop dog and rising social media star.

But oh no! Upon leaving you accidentally make eye contact with a busker wheezing away on a brass instrument, cap overturned for your consideration. You have a conscience, but Judas himself would leap onto a cross if it meant getting away from this needy trumpeter’s toots. How are you going to get out of this one?

If you grudgingly throw some change at King Tootenkamen while fleeing in search of a peaceful meal, turn to page 13.

If you choose to beat a hasty retreat by hopping on the nearest trolley, turn to page 14.

You choose to go for a stroll in the gorgeous Missouri Botanical Garden.

A true gem located in the heart of the city’s Shaw neighborhood, the Missouri Botanical Garden (4344 Shaw Boulevard, 314-577-5100) offers 79 acres of horticulture, with gardens influenced by Japan, China and more. It’s way too hot for the Climatron, but its tropical rainforest (and spectacular waterfall) still beckons. You’re good and sweaty by the time you finish your walk and head back to your car.

As you approach, you can’t help but notice that your tags expired more than a month ago — and there’s a St. Louis cop pulling up in his cruiser. Oh no! Could you be about to get ticketed? What to do?

Dude, this is St. Louis. The cops don’t care about expired tags.

If you smile at the cop and head off to Pappy’s for some barbecue, turn to page 18.

Dude, seriously. The cops have better things to do, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to make nice. If you ignore the officer and make your way to the Royale, turn to page 15.

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You choose to go for a jog through Forest Park.

As a good St. Louisan, you love to brag that Forest Park is bigger than Central Park — but, hey, it’s true! With 1,300 acres, it’s got everything from golf to paddleboats, and hosts the Saint Louis Zoo, the St. Louis Science Center and the Saint Louis Art Museum. A paved trail looping through the park is a great choice for a 5.6-mile run; you begin and end at the Missouri History Museum.

All that exercise helped you work up a serious appetite.

Where to now?

You choose to head to the zoo to stare at some animals.

The Saint Louis Zoo (Government Drive, 314-781-0900) doesn’t charge admission, which leaves more money for a snow cone once you’re there. You’re enthralled by the sea lions’ glassed-in underground tunnel, the riverwalk with the hippo display and the new grizzly bear exhibit. And while you may think they’re joking when they tell you not to touch the penguins at the Penguin and Puffin Coast, they really are that close. You end up getting soaked by their splashing — but they’re so cute, you don’t even care.

“Can you believe this amazing zoo is free?” you enthuse to no one in particular.

But you’ve failed to spot the TV reporter lurking just behind the penguin exit, seeking interviews for his latest segment.

“People say the zoo is free, but property taxes mean you’re actually contributing $22 million a year to its upkeep,” the man solemnly intones, then shoves a microphone in your face. “You paid for it. What do you say to that?”

“Fuck off, Elliott Davis,” you snap. Drenched with penguin water and sticky from your snow cone, you definitely weren’t ready for that closeup! “Let the whole city go to shit. Without a free zoo, would this really be St. Louis?”

Time to shove off, but where to next?

Oh yeah, the Missouri History Museum is one of the Loop Trolley stops! If you choose to hop on the trolley and head to the Loop for some grub, turn to page 14.

A heart-stopping BLT and a ton of chocolate will surely fill the void. If you choose to head to Crown Candy Kitchen for lunch, turn to page 17.

Why leave the park? The Boathouse is run by those Sugarfire folks now — if you choose to get some food there, turn to page 22.

A burger sounds tasty! If you choose to get some food at Mac’s Local Eats, turn to page 21.

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You choose to head to the City Museum — always a great choice.

The brainchild of the late genius Bob Cassilly, the City Museum (750 North 16th Street, 314-231-2489) has been the pride of St. Louis — and a first-call pick for dazzling out-of-towners — since its opening in 1997. More eclectic-playground-meets-art-installation than a proper museum, it’s five floors of slides, caves, interactive sculptures and decommissioned airplanes that awaken your child within. With the opening of its new Artquarium, the ever-evolving space brings another reason to make a repeat visit.

All that time spent falling off slides and dodging projectiles in the oversized ball pit has left you feeling peckish. Where to now?

A little BBQ sounds delicious. If you choose to head to Pappy’s for lunch, turn to page 18.

Maybe you like salt-crusted, bread-based snacks? If you choose to eat at Gus’ Pretzels, turn to page 19.

You choose to hoist some pints at Hammerstone’s.

Ah, day drinking in Soulard! The doors at Hammerstone’s (2028 South Ninth Street, 314-773-5565) open at 6:30 a.m. on weekdays (8 a.m. on Saturday) and the booze starts flowing immediately thereafter. The patio has its own bar, perfect for gorgeous summer days when you want the drinks to come in a hurry. And you want. “Waiter,” you beckon, “bring me a bucket.”

Hours sail by. Bucket kicked, you briefly lay your head on the table ... only to see something fly by in the sky. Was it a cardinal? Was it a hot air balloon? Or was it a queenly woman in a ballgown surfing by on a flying carpet? Either you’ve just spied local legend Becky Queen of Carpet or you’ve drunk way too much. Maybe both are true.

At this point you have a stomach full of suds and a brain full of booze. What to do next?

Something to soak up some of this alcohol is definitely in order.

If you choose to head to Gus’ Pretzels, turn to page 19.

Let’s keep it going! McGurk’s has a great patio and is only a short stumble away. If you choose to head there for more drinks, turn to page 20.

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Certain the mean streets of Dogtown have claimed another victim, you choose to duck. But the joke’s on you; no one ever gets shot in this part of the city. As you catch your breath, you realize you were too hasty. Fireworks crackle from a nearby backyard as you dust asphalt off your pants.

Unfortunately, though, your rapid duck-and-cover caught the eye of two beefy St. Louis cops. They come at you, badges glinting in the midday heat.

“That’s the little shitbird we were looking for,” one says, while the other whips out his nightstick.

Within minutes you’re surrounded by a whole squadron of cops demanding you leave while not allowing you to do so.

Helpless in the face of their impromptu kettle, you’re beaten mercilessly and carted off to the Workhouse.

After the Post-Dispatch covers your arrest, your mean MAGA aunt posts some variation of “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” on Facebook without reading the article, much less realizing it’s about you. You spend the next fourteen months in jail, breathing black mold and waiting desperately for someone to post bond. Meanwhile, every police officer involved gets a raise.

You choose to give money to the busker. You find his songs “hypnotizing,” and soon you’ve parted with far more cash than you expected. Lunch is going to have to be on the cheap side.

Luckily, Burger King rolled out the meatless “Impossible” Whopper at its St. Louis locations — and only its St. Louis locations — earlier this year. (The national rollout happens later this year.) You’re as red-blooded as the next St. Louisan, but the plant-based substitute looks, and tastes, almost exactly like the real thing; it even bleeds. Burger King’s Delmar location isn’t fancy, but it’s hard to beat $5.49 for a burger that could save the world.

With lunch this cheap, you’ve still got some scratch left even after paying for that street entertainment. Charity need not keep you from consumerism. Shopping is in order! Where do you want to go?

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

Target is the best! To go shopping at the Brentwood Promenade, turn to page 24.

Shopping local would be even better. To head to Cherokee Street’s antique row, turn to page 36.

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You choose to catch a ride on the Loop Trolley.

Aaaaannnd, you wait. And wait some more. The seasons change, then change again, and again and again. The skin on your bones loosens as the years drag on and your life passes you by, and still you wait.

Did an accident prevent the hapless choo choo’s arrival? Did it break down again? Maybe a cyclist hit the tracks and went ass-over-tea-kettle into the old-timey windshield? Is it possible that the Hand of the Almighty reached down from the clouds and crushed the trolley into dust? The reason doesn’t matter; the result is the same: You wait for the rest of your natural life, hopelessly untrolleyed, until death grants you sweet relief.

You choose to get some grub at the Royale.

A neighborhood bar in every sense, the Royale (3132 South Kingshighway, 314-772-3600) is a chill spot for eating, drinking and whiling away the hours. The large back patio is a great spot when it’s not too hot, but the booths inside are also perfect for sharing a drink and a secret. One thing’s for sure: At this southcity hub, you almost always run into someone you know.

Go figure: After you finish eating, you spot an old friend from high school across the bar. Do you go talk to them?

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

Sure, it’s been so long! If you choose to go chat with your old high school friend, turn to page 26.

Dear God, no, who would want to talk to any of those people? If you choose to run from the building and hop blindly on the nearest bus headed anywhere but here, turn to page 25.

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You choose to eat some barbecue at Salt + Smoke.

Salt + Smoke (6525 Delmar Boulevard, University City; 314-7270200) offers top-notch brisket and a terrific collection of whiskey, but it’s the white-cheddar cracker mac that haunts your dreams.

Topped with crushed Ritz crackers and laden with cheese, you can’t stop eating it. At least you’re getting fresh air while you stuff your face — you claim a seat right there along the sidewalk.

After you eat your weight in deliciousness, rather than give in to your food coma, why not see what the rest of the Loop has to offer?

You choose to eat lunch at Crown Candy.

Crown Candy Kitchen (1401 St. Louis Avenue, 314-621-9650) has been a destination in Old North for pretty much its entire century of life. Lines snake around the block on weekends for a taste of the Karandzieff family’s soups and sandwiches — including the famously “heart-stopping” BLT. If your ticker can survive the experience, you might as well load up some candy while you’re there. That shuddering you feel in your chest?

That’s no heart attack. It’s just nostalgia and near-lethal levels of sugar.

The sun is shining and your belly is full. Where to now?

A movie sounds fun! To catch a flick at the Tivoli, turn to page 29.

Take me out to the ball game! If you choose to head to Busch Stadium to watch the Cardinals slay their opponents, turn to page 27.

There’s been talk of this whole Loop Trolley thing for so many years, maybe it’s time to give it a spin. To wait at a nearby stop for it to arrive, turn to page 14.

There are some great flicks at the Tivoli this week. To catch a movie, turn to page 29.

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South City Scooters @ the corner of Connecticut & Morgan Ford

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MAY 22-28, 2019

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You choose to eat lunch at Pappy’s.

The barbecue joint that kicked off St. Louis’ new wave of smoked meat excellence, Pappy’s (3106 Olive Street, 314-5354340) always has a long line of customers queuing up for its ’cue, which includes terrific pulled pork and what the Travel Channel calls the best ribs in America.

Alas, you’ve made the rookie mistake of failing to call in for a carry-out order, which would have let you skip the line — this could take a while. But wait: Is that your old high school friend standing near the front?

You choose to eat some salted dough at Gus’ Pretzels.

For 99 years, Gus’ Pretzels (1820 Arsenal Street, 314-6644010) has been serving up its salted sticks in the shadow of the Anheuser-Busch brewery. Locals swear by the pretzel sandwiches, stuffed with bratwurst, hot dogs or salsiccia.

Where Gus’ is concerned, your body is an endlessly welcoming wonderland.

With a stomach full of tasty eats, maybe a little exercise is in order. Why not play a game?

If you choose to speak to your old high school friend in an attempt to skip to the front of the line, turn to page 26.

Sports that encourage drinking are the finest sports of them all.

To head to Milo’s Tavern for a little bocce ball, turn to page 23.

If you choose to jump ship and get your ‘cue at Salt + Smoke instead, turn to page 16.

It’s all the more fun when those sports involve sharp objects. To go to the Landing for a little bit of axe throwing, turn to page 38.

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You choose to head to McGurk’s for more drinks.

There’s scarcely a better patio in the world than the one at John D. McGurk’s (1200 Russell Boulevard, 314-776-8309). It’s 15,000 square feet and has no less than three outdoor bars. And did we mention the waterfall? It has that too.

But you’ve been drinking since the moment you woke up and you haven’t eaten a damn thing, you rank amateur. You pass out in the middle of Russell Boulevard on the way to the bar.

Drooling onto your T-shirt, babbling about Bread Co.’s breadsliced bagels, you barely know what hits you. News flash: It’s a parade of golf carts driven by party-loving Soulard bros. You are dead.

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

You choose to go to Mac’s Local Eats for lunch.

Bars are an unusual place to find nose-to-tail cooking, but hidden within Dogtown’s Tamm Avenue Grill (1227 Tamm Avenue, 314-479-8155) is one of the best burgers in town. Walk to the humble order counter in the back of the barroom, and Mac’s Local Eats is serving up smash burgers that aren’t just tasty but made with meat that’s been sustainably, and humanely, raised. Push past the dudes at the bar and grab a table in the adjoining room to enjoy them, along with an order of “rip fries,” dusted with heat from Red Hot Riplets.

Damn, that was a good burger. But as you leave the bar, a series of sharp cracks fills the air. You have only seconds to react. What do you do?

Gunfire!!! You can’t wait to express your thoughts on how the city’s going to hell on NextDoor. If you’re frightened by more proof of St. Louis’ general lawlessness and quickly duck behind a car, turn to page 12.

Ha! It’s Dogtown. Those are clearly fireworks. If you shrug and head to Milo’s Tavern for a little day-drinking and bocce, turn to page 23.

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You choose to get some food at the Boathouse.

Now under the more-than-capable management of the Sugarfire Smoke House team, the Boathouse at Forest Park (6101 Government Drive, 314-366-1555) isn’t just a pretty place to eat lunch — it’s a downright delicious one. You could order anything from soups and sandwiches and fish tacos to a mezze platter and an entree of bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin. It’s also got two new bars, a fire pit and grab-and-go offerings if you want to venture further into the park or onto Post-Dispatch Lake.

While you’re getting your grub on, you watch people riding those standup paddleboards all around the lake. Might be fun?

If you choose to go for a ride on a paddleboard, turn to page 28.

Looks too difficult. If you choose to go to Milo’s for bocce ball instead, turn to page 23.

You choose to head to Milo’s Tavern for some bocce ball.

If you’re into sports you can play with a beer in your hand, denizens of the city’s Hill neighborhood would recommend bocce — and they’d tell you the best place to play it is Milo’s Tavern (5201 Wilson Avenue, 314-776-0468). There are three generations of Italians rolling balls into the end zone. You excitedly join in.

Luck is on your side; you expertly defeat your fellow bargoers. Where will you go to celebrate your victory?

A concert sounds like fun. To go to the Fabulous Fox Theatre, turn to page 35.

Let’s keep this winning streak going! Your friend invited you to a trivia event for charity at a local church. To show off your mental prowess after that display of physical skill, turn to page 34.

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You choose to go shopping at Brentwood Plaza.

You wanted to pick up some sensible slacks at Target, a bunch of gag gifts at Five Below and some mochi rice nuggets at Trader Joe’s. But when you try to leave the parking lot you end up trapped in its infamously poor design and nightmarish traffic, taunted by the irony of the Eager Road sign. You drive aimlessly, hallucinating that the next left turn must be an onramp to I-64 — but it’s just Eager Road, again and again. You look out your window, and a six-inch-tall Chuck Berry is pissing on your side-mirror. Time stops, and yet your ice cream continues to melt. There’s no way to get out of this jam alive.

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

You choose to hop on the nearest bus.

You’re lucky there was a stop close to the bar — that was a close one! But no sooner have you taken your seat than you espy a TV news truck just outside your window. The driver is gunning to keep up with the bus, and a well-dressed reporter is hanging out the window, waving his arms and shouting questions at you and your fellow riders. “The Metro transit system cost bi-state residents $323 million this year alone,” he shouts. “You paid for it. Your response?”

“Fuck off, Davis. The federal government subsidizes cars in a million different ways,” you snap.

“Come again?” shouts the newsman, coat flapping out the van window as he hangs on for dear life.

What’s the point of arguing with someone who can’t hear you? On the other hand, shouldn’t you set the record straight?

To keep lecturing the journalist on the gas and roadway subsidies that underwrite our vehicular infrastructure, turn to page 45.

It’s not your job to educate anyone, and Tower Grove Park is right outside. To shed your TV tail and bail at the next stop, turn to page 31.

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DID YOU KNOW:

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You choose to chat up your old high school friend.

Uh-oh, it seems the two of you had a lot of catching up to do, gossiping about former classmates and that one teacher everybody hated (you know the one). You attempt to make your exit several times, but instead get sucked into looking at pictures of their dumb wiener kids, hearing about the people in your class who died and answering invasive questions about your parents’ divorce that are none of their goddamn business. Your day is shot to hell, and it’s time to go home.

Moral of the story: When you see someone from high school, hide.

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

You choose to go to a Cardinals game.

Busch Stadium (700 Clark Avenue) is the best place in America to watch Major League Baseball (not that you’re biased or anything). It’s also a great place to mingle. The newish Budweiser Terrace is a 20,000-square-foot lounge area with two bars and good views of the game.

And if you’re into mingling, Ballpark Village continues to get bigger and better. You’re practically guaranteed to see your shittiest ex whooping it up near the PBR mechanical bull. Better head instead to BPV’s brand-new Shark Bar (601 Clark Avenue Unit J, 314-581-2322). This Kansas City export offers a “retro surf theme,” complete with “Beach Pail Punch.”

By the seventh inning, our boys are taking a beating. You could stick it out, but you’d assuredly be dooming yourself to a traffic nightmare. What do you think?

This game is as good as over. To head to the parking lot early, turn to page 32.

Forget that, you’re in this one ’til the bloody, bitter end, traffic be damned. To stay for the whole game, turn to page 39.

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You choose to ride on a standup paddleboard.

As you push your way along the serene lake, a helicopter suddenly descends from the skies above. It’s that wackiest member of the Busch family, taking his eight barking dogs and four loaded guns for a Xanax-fueled ride over the park (hey, beer barons like to have summer fun too!).

But the Busch heir’s decision to allow Fido to take the wheel while he attempts to pick off some bullhead catfish out the window with his .357 Magnum ends up being a poor one.

Whacked by his blades, you are thrown off the paddleboard and into the lake.

“Damn you, Busches!” you shout to the chopper’s fleeing form. “Wasn’t it enough to sell the company to the Belgians and beat up eighth graders at basketball practice? Haven’t you hurt this town enough?”

There’s no reply from above, and the cops lounging nearby look at you blankly. You haul yourself back onto your paddle, soaked to the bone. Time to drag your wet carcass home.

You choose to catch a movie at the Tivoli.

The Loop’s movie house, the Landmark Tivoli Theatre (6350 Delmar Boulevard, University City; 314-727-7271), offers both arthouse fare and fun old stuff, including midnight screenings and annual Halloween showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s nothing fancy, but the lobby offers candy, popcorn and booze — and the movie selection couldn’t be better.

The movie is great, but the day’s not over just yet — there’s plenty of fun still to be had in this town. What to do now?

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

A friend invited you to a trivia event at a church, with proceeds going to charity. If you choose to flex your knowledge St. Louis style, turn to page 34.

Some live music is definitely in order tonight. To head to a concert at the Fox, turn to page 35.

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31

You choose to ride an e-scooter to the Peter Mathews Memorial Skate Garden.

St. Louis’ only public outdoor skate park, the Peter Mathews Memorial Skate Garden (4415 Morganford Road), is the work of Kingshighway Vigilante Transitions, better known as KHVT, which takes its name from the now demolished guerrilla skate park beneath the Kingshighway Bridge. Opened in 2015 and expanded in 2017, the spot counts Tony Hawk himself among its fans. ….but the skaters here do not, repeat, do not, take kindly to scooters of any variety on their ramps. Your scooter was a big mistake.

You are beaten mercilessly for your insolence. Bruised and bloody, you prepare to spend your entire bank balance on an ambulance, because that silly Lime scooter took a battering too and EMS is your only hope of getting home.

You choose to bail out of the bus and wander around Tower Grove Park for a while.

South city’s crown jewel, Tower Grove Park (4256 Magnolia Avenue, 314-771-2679) offers no less than ten pavilions, three playgrounds, a splash pad, a birding habitat and plenty of athletic fields for both soccer and kickball. There are also eight pickleball courts and some really fake-looking ancient ruins, as well as speed bumps girthier than Jon Hamm’s Hammaconda.

While walking through the park you spot a Lime scooter that someone foolishly left unlocked. A free ride! But if you head back to the Royale this soon, you run the risk of that old friend spotting you. Where to instead?

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

It might be really fun to take this thing on some ramps. If you choose to ride the scooter to the nearby Peter Mathews Memorial Skate Garden, turn to page 30.

It’s a bit of a longer trek, but this thing probably has enough juice left in it to make it to Cherokee Street. If you choose to ride the scooter to Cherokee Street, turn to page 36.

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DON’T MISS THE BEST LOCAL MUSIC WEEKEND OF THE YEAR!

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INTHEGROVE

&

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Catering Delivery Take Out 4145 Manchester Ave, St. Louis

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COMING SOON !

WESTPORT PLAZA LOCATION

Trops HandleBar Firecracker Pizza Atomic Cowboy The Bootleg BEAST Butcher and Block Parlor Gezellig Ready Room The Gramophone

FRI jUNE 21 SAT JUNE 22 EARLYBIRD WRISTBANDS AVAILABLE NOW RFTSHOWCASE.COM PING PONG TABLE • POOL TABLE • BOARD GAMES WEDNESDAY TRIVIA • LIVE MUSIC / DJS 5 DAYS A WEEK

THIS WEEK THE GROVE SELECTED HAPPENINGS

THURSDAY, MAY 23

BAD WOLVES $25, 6:30

IN

Day or night, there’s always something going on in The Grove: live bands, great food, beer tastings, shopping events, and so much more. Visit thegrovestl.com for a whole lot more of what makes this neighborhood great.

2 4 R RI VI VE ER RF RF RO ON NT T T IT MI ME ES S MF EJAUBRNRCEUHA2R104Y- -22680,-, M220A0R118C8 H r5ri,ivve2er0rf1frr8oonnt trt ti ivmmeeersfs.r.coconomtmt i m e s . c o m 34 RIVERFRONT TIMES MAY 22-28, 2019 riverfronttimes.com

PM AT

THE READY ROOM

FRIDAY, MAY 24

VOODOO PLAYERS -

SEXAUER'S VINYL HAPPY HOUR 5

PM AT

SNOW THA PRODUCT

$20, 8

8

PM AT

PM AT

THE IMPROV SHOP

THE READY ROOM

MONDAY, MAY 27

THE LAB

ATOMIC COWBOY

PARTY! WITH BOOTHBY

FIRECRACKER

SATURDAY, MAY 25

FOURTH FRIDAYS 6

PM AT

8

PM AT

THE IMPROV SHOP

FRIDAY, MAY 31

4130 MANCHESTER AVE. IN THE GROVE FIRECRACKERPIZZA.COM HOWIE DAY $25, 7

PM AT

THE READY ROOM

-PHANTOM HOUSEBURNING BEATS SPRING

SUNDAY, JUNE 2

-SMOKERS CLUB PRESENTSJAYDAYOUNGAN & YUNGEEN ACE $25, 7

PM AT

HANDLEBAR

THE LAB

8

SATURDAY, JUNE 1

AARON KAMM & THE ONE DROPS $12, 6 PM AT ATOMIC COWBOY

THE READY ROOM

MONDAY, JUNE 3

DANCE PARTY 10

PM AT

PM AT

THE IMPROV SHOP

TUESDAY, JUNE 4

MY LIFE WITH THE THRILL KILL KULT 7

PM AT

THE READY ROOM

THURSDAY, JUNE 6

SCRANTONICITY

$10, 7

PM AT

THE READY ROOM

BENDIGO FLETCHER, HOLY POSERS, RIVER KITTENS 7

PM AT

ATOMIC COWBOY

FRIDAY, JUNE 7

BLACK MAGIC FLOWER POWER W/ ROVER & SPARK THUGS $5, 6

PM AT

ATOMIC COWBOY

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JUNE 20-26, 2018 MAY 22-28, 2019

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You choose to leave the game early to beat traffic.

You and everyone else from St. Charles County really enjoy the uncrowded streets and lack of congestion on the way home.

Sure, you could be missing the Cards coming from behind in one of those games people talk about for decades, but who cares; you’re making great time! You head to your McMansion and get yourself tucked into bed before nine, you wild party animal you.

This is hardly the perfect St. Louis summer day.

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

You choose to attend a concert at the Pageant.

The Pageant (6161 Delmar Boulevard, University City; 314726-6161) is one of the area’s best mid-sized concert venues — big enough to land artists your friends have heard of, small enough that it feels remarkably intimate. And you’re never more than a row or two from the bar, even if you go up to the balcony.

After the show, you’re still riding high from a great game and an even better concert — this day just keeps getting better!

Let’s keep the good times rolling — where to next?

The Moonrise’s rooftop bar is always a good time, and better still it’s a short walk down the street! If you choose to get some drinks there, turn to page 44.

There’s only one place to really keep the party going around here, and that’s the east side. If you choose to head across the bridge to get wild in Illinois, turn to page 37.

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You choose to go to a trivia event for charity.

You’re flexing your trivia muscles in a gym adjacent to a church with a table of friends. You’ve picked the perfect St. Louis team name (Stan Musial’s Ravioli Toasters, natch). But as the hours tick by, there seems to be no end in sight.

Yeah, it’s a good cause, but this night is endless. You spend an interminable amount of time snacking on pretzel sticks and calling out the names of ’80s TV shows and correctly matching Harry Potter characters to their respective house. But when it comes time for that pivotal question based on St. Louis history — what is Susan Blow famous for? — you, er, blow it. Your teammates get you back by bidding heavily on the auction’s most expensive prize, a dinner cruise with Jeff Roorda, and they use your credit card to do it.

Guess what? You actually “win.” And on the night they force you to claim your prize, you find yourself dancing cheek to cheek with the bombastic police spokesman while the big wheel keeps on turnin’ for mile after mile. You plunge over the side of the riverboat, choosing hell over your hellish existence.

You choose to catch a concert at the Fox Theatre.

What could be more thrilling than the Fox Theatre (527 North Grand Boulevard, 314-534-1111)? Outfitted in over-the-top Siamese Bzyantine style, with elephants and towering columns of red and gold, the “Fabulous Fox” is a former movie palace that now hosts touring productions of Broadway shows and artists. This summer’s events include Lenny Kravitz, Chicago and the Avett Brothers.

Tonight, you see the O’Jays, and you’re singing “money money money” as you exit the lobby, erasing all memory of Donald Trump’s run on The Apprentice that tarnished the R&B classic for you.

You’re still amped up from a great night of live music and not ready to head home just yet. Where do you go?

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

Some frozen custard would sure hit the spot right about now. If you choose to cool down at Ted Drewes, turn to page 42.

Cool down nothing, let’s keep things hot! If you choose to head to the east side and keep partying, turn to page 37.

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You choose to head on over to Cherokee Street.

There’s always something new — as well as lots of old things — on Cherokee. The western half of the street is filled with topnotch Mexican restaurants, bakeries and art spaces, while the eastern half is home to Antique Row, with shops perfect for long lazy afternoons of browsing. You dodge the gangs of roving ATV riders tearing ass through the streets and grab a pastry at Whisk: A Sustainable Bakeshop (2201 Cherokee Street, 314-932-5166) before heading east to browse the curios.

You run into a friend who invites you to a trivia night at a nearby church — a St. Louis tradition if ever there was one. Do you go with them?

You choose to keep the party going on the east side.

With its abundance of strip clubs and bars and a lack of anything resembling “bar time” or “last call,” the east side is a frequent late-night destination for those unwilling to admit that the night is over.

But frankly, it’s rarely a good idea. You soon find yourself devoid of money and far too drunk to make it home. Penniless and trapped on the unfortunate side of the Missouri/Illinois border, you curl up awkwardly in your car in the parking lot of Pop’s. It’s going to be long night.

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

Sure, trivia is always a good time, right? And you’ve been boning up on your local history. If you choose to go to trivia night, turn to page 34.

Nah, sounds fun, but there’s a concert you were hoping to attend tonight. If you choose to talk your friend into heading to the Fox Theatre instead, turn to page 35.

Authentic MexicAn Food, Beer, And MArgAritAs!

2817 cherokee st. st. Louis, Mo 63118 314.762.0691 onco.coM r B L e iA r e u q A .t w w w 36-37

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You choose to hurl some axes.

One of several recreational axe-throwing spots in the St. Louis area (its sister is in St. Charles), Top Notch Axe Throwing (440 N. Fourth Street #170, 314-885-1242) lets you toss sharp objects through the air in the shadow of the Arch. Yeah, there’s a safety briefing, but suffice it to say, the concept relies on its customers being reasonably sober — though they do let you bring your own beer.

You already had a fair amount of alcohol today. Maybe you should ease up around the potentially deadly weapons. But then too, where’s the fun in that?

If you choose to BYOB, turn to page 43.

You choose to stay for the whole game, traffic be damned.

The Cardinals win! It’s a nail biter, but our boys shock the world and pull it out in the end (thanks to some clutch moves

by Yadi, naturally). The crowd goes crazy, folks!

You’re flying high, and there’s no way in hell you’re heading home just yet. Why not celebrate with a concert?

If you choose to catch some live music at the Pageant, turn to page 33.

If you choose not to BYOB, turn to page 41.

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If you choose to see a show at the Fox Theatre, turn to page 35.

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You choose to dive into some fried fare at the Courtesy Diner.

Very small and fairly greasy, Courtesy Diner (3153 South Kingshighway, 314-776-9059) is the quintessential old-school diner, with prices to match. You could order a “Hoosier” or a “Hangover” slinger, both smothered in white sausage gravy, but you always opt for the original: two eggs, hash browns and hamburger with chili on top and toast on the side.

You spent the day drinking a bit too much and eating a bit too little, but you’ve made it safely to the welcoming bosom of one of the city’s finest destinations for people who’ve made those exact decisions.

You pass out face-down in your slinger after only a few bites — but it’s OK, the staff is used to that kinda thing.

You choose not to bring your own beer to the axe-throwing spot.

After an hour or so of fun, you overhear another axe thrower mention she just saw Elliott Davis outside the Arch grounds, haranguing people about what they paid for its renovations.

“Fuck off, Davis,” you grumble to yourself.

Minutes later, an errant throw results in a funny bounce, sending the bladed weapon flying back directly at your head!

Luckily you chose not to dull your senses with yet more booze today, and you duck out of the way just in time. That was close!

Your heart is pounding and your adrenaline is pumping after that close call. What do you do now?

Congrats on a day filled with wise decision-making!

To land on one of two other ideal endings, start over from the beginning — and keep your wits sharp.

That’s more than enough excitement for one day — and certainly more than enough to drink. If you choose to head to the Courtesy Diner to calm your nerves with a slinger, turn to page 40.

What a rush — you’ve never felt more alive! If you choose to tempt fate further with a trip to the east side, turn to page 37.

MAY 31

Thunderstruck

America’s premier AC/DC tribute

JUNE 6TH

An Evening with

Roger McGuinn JUNE 8TH

Al Stewart

playing his Greatest Hits

JUNE 14TH

Erin Bode

performs the new American songbook

JULY 20TH

Greg Warren

Comedy Special Filming

AUGUST 2 & 3

John Mayall

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You choose to grab a tasty treat from Ted Drewes.

Everyone’s favorite frozen custard stand, Ted Drewes (6726 Chippewa Street, 314-481-8652) is the biggest parking lot party in town, with more than a half-dozen order windows offering incredibly quick service and tasty treats galore. On this warm summer night, the place is positively packed. Standing in your little corner of asphalt scarfing down your “Cardinal Sin” concrete before the hot fudge melts it is an ideal way to end your perfect St. Louis day.

Just when you think the night can’t get any better, a figure appears on the lot. Clad in ruby red, a resplendent crown perched atop his head, it can only be one specific St. Louis legend.

“Whaddaya say, whaddaya say?” Mister Gary calls across the parking lot, mic in hand and camera in tow. Soon you’re speaking with the King of Hospitality himself about summer nights and frozen foodstuffs for the one and only Them Yo People, the city’s premier man-on-the-street show. Your wit and charm on full display, you are officially a local legend yourself in no time.

Your high school ex sees all from their couch and is sooooo jealous.

What could be more St. Louis than that?

You choose to bring your own beer to the axe-throwing spot.

After an hour or so of fun, you overhear another axe-thrower mention she just saw Elliott Davis outside the Arch grounds, haranguing people about what they paid for its renovations.

“Fuck off, Elliott Davis,” you think as you take a long swig of beer.

But you’re so distracted by your dislike of “gotcha journalism,” you don’t even notice the errant throw that’s resulted in a funny bounce, sending the bladed weapon flying back directly at your head!

Sadly you’ve had far too much to drink. You’re in no state to duck, and the projectile ends up lodged in your forehead. As they pack you into an ambulance, you can hear the TV news crew outside, setting up its live shot.

“A young St. Louis resident took an axe to the head today,” a familiar voice intones. “Their blood alcohol content? A nearimpossible 2.8. That’s several times the legal limit.

“Looks like they paid for it.”

Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

Congrats on a day filled with wise decision-making!

To land on one of two other ideal endings, start over from the beginning — and keep your wits sharp.

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45

You choose to end your night at the Moonrise’s rooftop bar.

With the world’s largest manmade moon rotating overhead, an award-winning cocktail program and striking views of the city, the eighth-floor rooftop bar at the Moonrise Hotel (6177 Delmar Boulevard, 314-721-1111) is a great way to cap off a great day. Open until 2:45 a.m., it’s under the same ownership as the Loop’s concert venues — including the Pageant — and it’s not uncommon to run into the rock stars who performed that night putting back some post-show drinks under the stars.

You make new friends with some famous folks, and you also meet Joe Edwards, who owns the hotel. You sneak into the photo that Joe poses for with the band.

And a few days later, as you amble into Blueberry Hill for some darts, you realize you’ve scored the ultimate proof you’ve made it in St. Louis: Your photo is on the wall with the rest of the rock stars and the city’s last rail baron.

You’ve won the St. Louis summer. And with that, you’ve won life.

You choose to stay on the bus and keep up the argument.

“Fuck off, Elliott Davis, and let the people have their buses!” you cry.

But the TV journalist is suddenly in no place to fight back. As his driver mashes the gas pedal to the floor, desperate to keep up with your bus and get the footage he needs for that night’s broadcast, he hits a giant pothole. It sends the truck, and the reporter, careening into the air and on a collision course with your bus.

The impact sends you airborne. And as your body flies over Kingshighway, a tunnel of white light beckons you home.

There’s your Nana, your old dog Shep and Chuck Berry, may he rest in peace, waiting for you with open arms.

And framed in the very center of the tunnel is an unmistakable silhouette.

“Welcome home,” he tells you. “You paid for it.”

Congrats on a day filled with wise decision-making!

To land on one of two other ideal endings, start over from the beginning — and keep your wits sharp.

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Better luck next time. Try again by restarting on page 1.

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CALENDAR

BY PAUL FRISWOLD

Water Street Dance Company Milwaukee performs at this year’s Spring to Dance Festival. | COURTESY OF DANCE ST. LOUIS

THURSDAY 05/23 The Rescuing Damsel Hon on film titans t e a Brothers pumped out an amazin strin of un u films in t e s and s many of ic were distributed in America. King Hu (widely regarded as the king of high-octane martial arts directors) broke into the business with the Shaws as an actor and writer. His first o as a director as Come Drink With Me, one of the best of t e enre. en ei ei stars as t e olden allo a dou le fisted swordswoman whose brother is captured by a bandit gang led by the villainous Jade Faced Tiger (the great Chen Hung-lieh). Golden Swallow cuts her way through the gang to rescue her brother, and gets some unlooked-for help

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from a mysterious beggar. A lovin ly restored edition of t e film screens at p.m. ursday May 23, at Webster University’s oore uditorium ast oc wood Avenue; www.webster.edu/ film series as part of t e e ster ilm eries. ic ets are to .

touhill.org). Each night starts with a free half-hour show in the lobby, followed by a 6 p.m. set in the Lee Theatre (tickets are only $5). The evening is capped off it a p.m. s o in t e n euser usc erformance Hall (tickets are $20 to $35). For the low price of $25, you can see a minimum of eleven companies eac ni t — t at s a ar ain.

FRIDAY 05/24 Dancesplosion

Bird Watching

ance t. ouis presents a smorgasbord of dance this weekend with the return of the Spring to Dance festival. More than 30 companies specializing in tap, ballet, contemporary and folk dance perform during the festival, which runs from Thursday to Saturday (May 23 to 25) at the ou ill erformin rts enter on the University of Missouri-St. ouis campus niversity rive at Natural Bridge Road; www.

May has been kicking the St. Louis Cardinals in the teeth, at least in the early going. Most of the grumbles will cease if the team can string together some wins to end the month and get a good jump on June. This Memorial ay ee end t e ed irds play a home series against the Atlanta Braves, which is damn convenient. The two teams played in Atlanta last week and the Braves won two of three; there’s no better

MAY 22-28, 2019

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time to snatch three wins back. e ards and raves play at p.m. Friday, 6:15 p.m. Saturday and 6:05 p.m. Sunday (May 24 to at usc tadium lar Avenue; www.stlcardinals.com).

Tickets are $10.90 to $325.90.

SATURDAY 05/25 A Close Shave There’s nothing more romantic than a late spring wedding, which is exactly why the maid Susana and the barber Figaro plan to get married on a lovely May evening.

Their master, Count Almaviva, certainly plans to enjoy himself.

The count has a scheme to bed Susana before the wedding, which many would consider poor form.

But in Mozart’s brilliant comic opera The Marriage of Figaro, the louche nobleman is a horny fool who will be neatly duped by

WEEK OF MAY 23-29 the two lovers, each of whom has their own plan to leave him sitting on his hands. Opera Theatre St. Louis opens its new season with the crowd-pleasing show.

The Marriage of Figaro opens at 8 p.m. Saturday, May 25, at the Loretto-Hilton Center (130 Edgar Road; www.opera-stl.org), and is then performed in repertory seven more times through June 19.

Tickets are $25 to $192.

Do it for the Kids t. ouis oft delayed sprin as finally shown itself, bringing with it patio dining, picnics and an end to coats and mittens. Urban Chestnut’s Midtown location (3229 Washington Avenue; www.urbanchestnut. com officially elcomes t e season with Maifest. The traditional German celebration of good weather and outside livin’ once again features live music, spring BBQ, a healthy lineup of strong Bock-style beers and baby goats. That’s right, baby goats, perfect for petting and photo ops. Maifest starts at 11 a.m.

Saturday, May 25, and admission is free. If you buy a commemorative tasting glass, you’ll receive discounted refills — ut under no circumstances should you share beer with the goats. They’re underage, and you’ll go to jail.

SUNDAY 05/26 Arty Party Way back in 2004, Schlafly’s Art Outside started as a home-grown art festival full of local bands, local food and drink and local artists. Now it’s in its sixteenth year, and everything remains the same.

More than 65 artists who live within a 125-mile radius will be in tents on the parking lot in front of c la y ottle or s Southwest Boulevard, Mapleood .sc la y.com sellin everything from William McKenney’s scratch-built robots made from recycled materials to Sennit + Sauvage’s handmade clothing and women’s accessories. You’ll find fine prints ceramics fine and pop-art photography and even unkillable plants from the Happy Houseplant (they’re made of felt). Local bands perform all

Golden Swallow (Cheng Pei-Pei) is a woman on a mission in Come Drink with Me. | SHAW BROTHERS

WEDNESDAY 05/29 Vow, Schmow

t ree days and c la y staff ill be serving up select food and beer items right on the lot (the full menu is available inside). New t is year is c la y s nca ed le in cans, sales of which will benefit t e nimal rotective ssociation of America. If your dog is friendly in large crowds, you can bring him along and get a “puppy pawtrait,” made with his paws and non-toxic paint. Art Outside takes place from 5 to 10 p.m. Friday, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday (May 24 to 26). Admission is free.

MONDAY 05/27 Up the Greek How do you know when summer starts and ends in St. Louis? Easy: Check the Greek festival location.

The St. Louis County Greek Festival at Assumption Greek Orthodo urc es eres oad Town & Country; www.stlouisgreekfest.com) is the starter pistol for summer, while the Greek festival in t e city is t e c ec ered a .

Start the sweaty season the right way, with a veritable Mt. Olympus of Greek food, live music and folk dancing, a kids corner with a bounce house, and a traditional

Urban Chestnut’s Maifest celebrates spring and al fresco drinking. | JON GITCHOFF Old World market offering Hellenic souvenirs, jewelry and even groceries. The St. Louis County Greek Festival is open from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Friday through Sunday, and 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday ay to . dmission is free ut rin your allet — you can t smell roast lamb shanks and not buy some, no matter how tough you think you are.

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little corner of orest ar ecomes a Spanish kingdom this summer when Shakespeare Festival St. Louis presents Love’s Labour’s Lost. King Ferdinand of Navarre and his intimates Bero ne umaine and on aville all jointly swear off the company of women for three years to better themselves through fasting and study. This oath immediately becomes a pro lem en t e rincess of France and her ladies arrive in Navarre to negotiate for the return of some French property currently in Navarre’s possession.

The noblewomen are forced to set up camp outside the court to honor Ferdinand’s pledge, but the sanctity of the vow is sorely tested when Ferdinand goes out to visit with the lovely princess. Secret letters are soon exchanged and disguises are worn so that love may follow its natural course. Love’s Labour’s Lost is performed under the trees of Shakespeare Glen (Fine Arts and Government drives; www.sfstl.com) at 8 p.m. Tuesday through Sunday (May 29 to June 23). Admission is free, and food and drink will be available on site so you can make a night of it. n

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CAFE

Jerk Soul brings its powerful blend of Caribbean and soul food to jerk chicken nachos, a jerk burger, the unparalleled “Judah’s Jerk Chicken Entree” and an oxtail platter. | MABEL SUEN

[REVIEW]

All About Soul Zahra Spencer and Telie Woods’ takeout jerk shack delights in Hyde Park Written by

CHERYL BAEHR Jerk Soul 2016 Salisbury Street, 314-601-3871. Sun.Fri. noon- 8 p.m. (Closed Saturday.)

Y

ou may think you’ve had jerk chicken before. You may have even enjoyed it. But you may not want to tell people that before you try “Judah’s Jerk Chicken Entrée” at Jerk Soul. Tasting it, you’ll realize jerk is so much more than a season-

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ing blend you sprinkle over meat to give it some kick. It’s an entire process for cooking chicken. And it’s simply breathtaking.

At this takeout-only spot in north city, owners Zahra Spencer and Telie Woods begin with a marinated half-bird that is dry-rubbed in fiery seasonin smo ed for several ours and t en finis ed on the grill. The woodsmoke and grill char underscore the thymeheavy seasoning’s earthy taste, while chiles give it some heat on the back palate that creeps up on you, building with every bite. A subtly sweet sauce — almost like a zesty tropical barbecue — is drizzled atop the chicken, giving it just a touch of sweetness to mitigate the heat. But even if there was no seasoning, its succulent meat and crispy charred skin would be pleasurable enough. It’s inarguably the best jerk chicken in town.

And it owes its existence to a series of calamities. When Spencer and Woods talk about their restaurant dreams being washed away

by Hurricane Irma, they are not

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speaking metaphorically — the tiny beachfront shack they were preparing to open was literally swept out to sea when the catastrophic storm hit the island of St. Thomas in September 2017. No amount of boarding up or sandbagging could have saved it; the entire beach simply vanished, sweeping everything on it into the churning ocean.

Looking back on the chaos in t e first fe ee s after rma Spencer and Woods can now see a straight line leading them to St. Louis’ Hyde Park neighborhood.

However, their path was unintentional. Woods would have never ended up in St. Louis if not for the chaos following the storm. He’d only moved to the island to be with Spencer a week before Irma hit, and his worried family begged him to return to his native Chicago. He agreed, said goodbye to Spencer and — with St. Thomas’ airport destroyed by the hurricane — boarded a boat bound for Puerto Rico with the intention of catc in t e ne t i t ome.

However, it became clear im-

mediately upon his arrival that Puerto Rico was about to take a direct hit from a second hurricane, Maria. Desperate to get out, Woods enlisted the help of a friend in St. Louis. She got him on t e last i t off t e island efore Hurricane Maria hit, bound for St. Louis and an uncertain future.

Woods was only supposed to stay in St. Louis for a few days.

But he was charmed by the city’s neighborhoods, and Hyde Park in particular. He found himself wondering whether it was a good place to open a restaurant. He didn’t take long to decide on an answer: Within three days, he’d signed a lease for what he was convinced was the perfect restaurant space and convinced Spencer to join him in the Gateway City.

It took roughly four months for Spencer and Woods to hone their concept and convert the storefront on Salisbury into a Caribbean fusion takeout counter. Because Jerk oul as t e first tenant in t e newly refurbished space, there Continued on pg 49

was little to do in terms of buildout. The pair simply decorated the small vestibule in front of the order counter it c armin oral arrangements, Caribbean knickknacks and several inspiration plaques, then opened the doors to customers in April 2018.

Drawing heavily upon Spencer’s St. Croix heritage, she and Woods have created a menu of the traditional recipes she learned to cook from her grandmother, mother and aunties even while incorporating Woods’ upbringing in Chicago, where he learned how to cook soul food from his grandmother. Some dishes are fused, while others exist as side-by-side offerings — and every last time, they are utterly delicious.

“Judah’s Jerk Chicken Entrée” is a terrific place to start. ut curry chicken, another of Spencer’s traditional specialties, is also dazzling. Hunks of tender white and dark meat are simmered in warmly spiced curry broth that is accented with tomatoes and bell peppers.

The curry is delicate in texture, almost like a jus; one of the dish’s biggest pleasures is getting a chunk of sauce-saturated potato and letting it melt on your tongue.

Spencer has memories of standing on a stool in her grandmother’s kitchen learning how to make saltfis . ose lessons paid off years later in the form of Jerk Soul’s magnificent rendition of t e classic dish. Pieces of salt-cured cod are sauteed with tri-color bell peppers and tomatoes for an intense avor — like cod with an exclamation point. The texture is almost that of crab legs, with a subtle sweetness reminiscent of at you find in s ellfis . at avor is only intensified en t e dis is paired it a side of uffy coconut rice.

You could also opt for a side of Caribbean corn, a cob-on presentation that is charred on the grill and finis ed it mout aterin curry spices. Plantains are another excellent option for an accompaniment, though they could double as dessert. The banana-like

fruit is sticky in texture, as if it’s been glazed in brown sugar, but the sweetness is offset by a touch of caramelization rendered by its time on the grill.

These delectable Caribbean accompaniments stand shoulder to shoulder with Woods’ renditions of classic soul food side dishes, including a wonderfully pungent ste ed ca a e its vine ary avor calmed with a touch of sugar.

Woods also delivers wonderful mac and cheese, courtesy of his grandmother’s secret recipe. The orange cheesy shells are just the right amount of richness, with a hint of spice that is barely noticeable but subtly brightens the dish.

Spencer and Woods marry their individual expertise on such items like the jerk chicken pizza, a seemingly simple dish by its description — tomato sauce, mozzarella and jerk chicken — but one that impresses with deep, smoky avor in every ite. not er fusion success is the “Crispy Philly,” a deep-fried Philly cheesesteak

that takes standard ribeye and amps it with jerk seasoning to cut through the decadence.

As good as these dishes are, though, I can’t stop coming back to that jerk chicken, a dish so perfect it continues to haunt me many days after my visits. Spencer and Woods said that they opted to start out with only a takeout counter because they wanted to get their feet underneath them; this is their first restaurant and t ey needed to make sure they were ready for a sitdown place. Once they prove themselves, they will look to expand to a full-service concept — one that will be an immersive Caribbean experience with everything from a bigger menu to live music.

When that day comes, I pity the house band; Jerk Soul’s food sings so beautifully it will drown out anything else under its roof.

Jerk Soul “Judah’s Jerk Entrée” ............................... $10 Curry chicken ............................................ $10 ”Crispy Phily” .............................................. $9

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MAY 22-28, 2019

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49

FEATURED DINING CAFE PIAZZA

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SPENCER’S GRILL

CAFEPIAZZA.COM

314-343-0294 1900 ARSENAL STREET ST. LOUIS, MO 63118 Like pizza? Nobody does it better than Café Piazza, a Sicilian Café & Bar in Benton Park & a stone’s throw from Anheuser-Busch (enjoy this iconic St Louis vista from our patio). Our “Big Momma” (a 4-ton laser wood-fired pizza oven and yes, you read that right!) has been firing out authentic Italian and Sicilian style pizzas since 2017. Like a thinner crust? The original 11” Italian style is for you. Current best-sellers include our Pizza Bianca (garlic infused alfredo cream sauce, grilled chicken, bacon and shaved parmigiana) or Queen Margherita (fresh mozzarella, tomato and basil). Prefer a deeper dish pizza? Try our Old-School Sicilian pizzas baked in Extra Virgin Olive Oil & Sicilian tomato fillet sauce with your choice of toppings. Heard of our famous graffiti mural which covers the entire dining room ceiling? Created by legendary artist Paco Rosic, the mural depicts famous St Louis luminaries and landmarks in street-art style: special kudos goes to those who can name all eleven St Louisans represented. Oh, and if pizza isn’t your thing, our appetizers, paninis, and salads definitely will be: try our Calamari Fritti, Bruschetta, or Chicken Parmigiana paninis. Open for lunch & dinner daily. Brunch served Saturday and Sunday 10am – 2pm (featuring bottomless Mimosas). $7 original 11” Italian pizzas all day every Monday! Happy Hour 4pm – 6pm weekly ($3 draft beer, $4 well & $5 house wine), all-day on Sunday. Open until midnight Friday & Saturday; late-night drinking and pizza! Work or special occasion catering also available.

314.821.2601 223 S KIRKWOOD RD KIRKWOOD, MO 63122 Spencer’s Grill is a historic diner in the heart of downtown Kirkwood. Bill Spencer opened the Grill on Route 66 back in 1947. Over 70 years later a lot has changed but the diner is still a timeless staple cherished by locals. These days Alex Campbell is the owner and the road goes by S. Kirkwood, but the old grill lives on. Known for its breakfast, Spencer’s cooks up crispy pancakes, from scratch biscuits and gravy, omelets, hash browns, and other traditional breakfast favorites. For the after breakfast crowds, Spencer’s offers a variety of lunch options including sandwiches as well as some of the best burgers in town. Jake Sciales (previously head chef at Farmhaus) runs the kitchen at Spencer’s and creates delicious off-menu specials daily. His culinary excellence makes even the most familiar dishes divine.The charming breakfast bar is welcoming and the service is friendly and fast. Mornings can be busy but the lines move quickly and breakfast comes out fast. Looking for a new breakfast spot? If you haven’t tried Spencer’s yet, you need to check it out. Spencer’s Grill is open 6AM until 2PM seven days a week.

CARNIVORE STL

MORRISON’S IRISH PUB

CARNIVORE-STL.COM

MORRISONIRISHPUB.COM

314.449.6328 5257 SHAW AVE, ST. LOUIS, MO 63110

618-433-8900 200 STATE STREET ALTON, IL 62002

Carnivore fills a nearly 4,000-square-foot space on The Hill with a dining area, bar lounge, and adjoining outdoor patio gracefully guarded by a bronze steer at the main entrance. Always embracing change, Joe and Kerri Smugala, with business partners Chef Mike and Casie Lutker, launched Carnivore STL this summer. As the Hill’s only steakhouse, Carnivore offers a homestyle menu at budget-friendly prices appealing to the neighborhood’s many families. Steak, of course, takes center stage with juicy filet mignon, top sirloin, strip steak and ribeye leading the menu. Customize any of the succulent meats with sautéed mushrooms, grilled shrimp, or melted housemade butters, such as garlic-and-herb and red wine reduction, on top of the flame-seared steak. Other main dishes include a thick-cut pork steak (smoked at J. Smugs) and the grilled chicken with capers and a white wine-lemonbutter sauce. St. Louis Italian traditions get their due in the Baked Ravioli, smothered in provel cheese and house ragu, and in the Arancini, risotto balls stuffed with provel and swimming in a pool of meat sauce. With an exciting new brunch menu debuting for Saturday and Sunday, Carnivore should be everyone’s new taste of the Hill.

Several, long-beloved Irish pubs have staked a claim to being the most-authentic in town, though a strong case be made for one of the newer entrants. Located in the historic and scenic Alton, IL, Morrison’s Irish Pub brings all the elements of a great Irish pub under one roof - which, in this particular case, dates way back to 1865. Live music’s on-hand, with a strong selection of the area’s finest Irish and Irish-tinged groups and solo performers, heard from Thursday-Saturday nights. The selections of whiskey and beer reflect just the right touches of domestic and imported options, with plenty of favorites on-hand, including a wide-and-deep selection of Irish whiskeys that’d rival any other spirits menu in town. But it’s the menu that really solidifies the deal, with corned beef and cabbage, leek soup, Irish stew and Irish soda bread all available on a daily basis, along with rotating specials. Fare such as burgers, salads and wraps add to the traditional Irish fare, giving families a host of options. Open every day but Monday, Morrison’s offers a legit Irish pub feel without any artificial ingredients.

J. SMUGS GASTROPIT

OAKED

JSMUGSGASTROPIT.COM

OAKEDSTL.COM

314.499.7488 2130 MACKLIND AVE, ST. LOUIS, MO 63110

314.305.8647 1031 LYNCH ST, ST. LOUIS, MO 63118 Treat yourself to an elevated culinary experience. With spring’s arrival, OAKED introduces its Pink Moon menu.

Diners can order the entire menu inside the speakeasy-feeling lounge, upstairs in the spacious dining room, and now on the beautiful New Orleans-style patio dubbed “the Veranda”. Chef Stephan Ledbetter and crew create new dishes each menu using the finest available ingredients while keeping past winners. This time around includes Duck Breast with charred Cabbage; Ratatouille with Spaghetti Squash and Vegan Burrata; and the housegem - Wild Mushrooms served with Duxellé, Truffle and Mushroom Tea. OAKED ensures their menu includes several vegan and gluten-free options so everyone can savor their evening. OAKED also has one of the better curated wine list in town alongside a selection of whiskeys and craft cocktails. It even has a small cigar bar outside on “the Gallery”. Offering Happy Hour specials from 4-6 daily. Music in the lounge Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Ample parking. Walk-ins are welcome, but reservations are recommended.

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Housed in a retro service station, J. Smugs GastroPit serves up barbecue that can fuel anyone’s fire.

Married teams of Joe and Kerri Smugala and John and Linda Smugala have brought charred goodness to the Hill neighborhood, nestled among the traditional Italian restaurants, sandwich shops and bakeries. Part of St. Louis’ ongoing barbecue boom, the J. Smugs’ pit menu is compact but done right. Ribs are the main attraction, made with a spicy dry rub and smoked to perfection. Pulled pork, brisket, turkey and chicken are also in the pit holding up well on their own, but squeeze bottles of six tasty sauces of varying style are nearby for extra punch. Delicious standard sides and salads are available, but plan on ordering an appetizer or two J. Smugs gives this course a twist with street corn and pulled-pork poutine. Several desserts are available, including cannoli – a tasty nod to the neighborhood. Happy hour from 4 to 7pm on weekdays showcases half-dollar BBQ tastes, discount drinks, and $6 craft beer flights to soothe any beer aficionado.

SHORT ORDERS

51

[SIDE DISH]

New Pastaria Chef Is a ‘Wilderness Woman’ Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

G

rowing up, Jai Kendall of Pastaria (7734 Forsyth Boulevard, Clayton; 314-8626603) knew she was lucky.

In her house, the entire family made it a priority to sit down to dinner together every night, a ritual that many of her friends did not have. She cherished that time and began to associate warm feelings with food at a young age.

She also realized early on that she wanted to share those feelings with others by cooking.

“I would have sleepovers as a kid and get so excited to make my friends food,” Kendall recalls. “I’d make them really pretty ice cream sundaes and just loved the presentation of it. One day, I remember going grocery shopping with my mom and seeing some Pillsbury biscuits. I told her, ‘We could fry those up and make doughnuts!’

My mom was like, ‘How do you even know to do that?’”

Kendall’s passion for cooking became more formalized during high school. After realizing that conventional educational settings were not for her, she enrolled in a wilderness school in Virginia where she took on the role as its cook. She was responsible for feeding everyone, and doing so it a rustic ood fire. e as even given a budget and had to make sure the numbers worked out. The experience gave her a taste of what it would be like to cook professionally. She loved it.

After high school, Kendall returned to St. Louis unsure of what her next move would be. A selfdescri ed free spirit s e fi ured it out y lindly runnin er finger over a map and landing on south Florida. Three days later,

Jai Kendall learned to cook over a wood fire at wilderness school. Now she brings what she’s learned to Pastaria. | SPENCER PERNIKOFF she packed her bags and set off for the Sunshine State with no job, no plans and $200 in her pocket.

“I just moved there on a whim,” Kendall laughs. “Looking back, it was a little crazy, but it was the best decision I ever made.”

Once she was in Florida, Kendall decided to pursue cooking as a career and scheduled a tour of Johnson & Wales’ Miami campus. However, after the tour, she stopped into a tea room where she got to talking with the executive chef and owner. The woman learned of Kendall’s culinary school aspirations and suggested a different path.

“She said, ‘You know, you should get an apprenticeship and just start cooking,’” Kendall recalls. “I was never a school person anyway, so I took her advice.”

Kendall got hired at Rosa Mexicano and dove into kitchen work. t first s e focused on desserts but eventually, she moved her way into savory and was promoted to the restaurant’s corporate executive chef. After eight years, some spent training the chain’s chefs all over the world, she decided she needed a change.

She moved to California to be-

“I’ve always loved Italian food and how it is about two art forms — the art of cooking and the art of eating.” come a private chef. There, Kendall expanded her knowledge even further by learning about food from a healing perspective. And when her job took her to Costa Rica, where she was surrounded by an abundance of healing plants and nourishing food, she honed that aspect of her cooking, deriving a deep satisfaction from helping others through food.

She also fell in love. Kendall met her husband in Costa Rica, and the two married and had a son.

Though they loved living there, Kendall felt the pull to return to St. Louis to raise their son surrounded by her family. In Septem-

riverfronttimes.com

ber, the three of them landed back in Missouri.

Kendall got a job with Peel Wood Fired Pizza, but it wasn’t so long before Niche Food Group came knocking at her door. They needed someone to take over the role of Pastaria’s executive chef and t ou t s e ould e a reat fit.

She didn’t hesitate.

“I remember I ate at Niche back around 2009 and completely falling in love with the food there,” Kendall says. “I can still taste some of the dishes. Gerard [Craft] is one of the most innovative chefs and has a passion that is a rare find. He s al ays een someone I’ve looked up to, so I was excited about this opportunity to learn and grow.”

Just a few weeks in to her new job, Kendall is taking things slowly, wanting to integrate with the team and et t e o of one of t.

Louis’ busiest kitchens before she starts adding creative touches.

She insists that she is not changing things, but says you may see some specials here and there that showcase her unique style.

“It’s a new challenge,” Kendall says. “I’ve always loved Italian

MAY 22-28, 2019

Continued on pg 52

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JAI KENDALL

Continued from pg 51

food and how it is about two art forms — the art of cooking and the art of eating. I’ve had the opportunity living in Miami and California to learn from chefs with Italian backgrounds, and I am excited to pick up and learn even more.”

Kendall took a break from the kitchen to share her thoughts on the St. Louis food scene, her passion for nature and the meal that reminds her of her former home.

What is one thing people don’t know about you that you wish they did?

I’m a wilderness woman. I feel most at home when I’m out in nature, exploring the woods and camping.

What daily ritual is non-negotia-

ble for you?

Juicing. I like to start my day off by making a cold-pressed green juice, as long as it includes lots of ginger and turmeric!

If you could have any superpower, what would it be? o e a le to y. re up it birds — my father was a falconer — and I would daydream about being able to see the world from a bird’s eye view.

What is the most positive thing in food, wine or cocktails that you’ve noticed in St. Louis over the past year?

Being new again in St. Louis, it’s so refreshing to see the support from fellow chefs. It’s a tight-knit community, and I’m honored to be a part of that.

What is something missing in the local food, wine or cocktail scene that you’d like to see?

Being more conscious about plastics, especially the use of plastic stra s. ave seen first and the damaging effects on the environment, and there are so many alternatives.

Who is your St. Louis food crush?

Ny Vongsaly of Billie-Jean. I dream about his whole roasted snapper every single day.

Who’s the one person to watch right now in the St. Louis dining scene?

Brian Moxey of Sardella. His passion for food is inspiring, and t e ay e com ines avors is innovative and nostalgic at the same time.

Which ingredient is most representative of your personality?

Ginger! I admire the strong but nurturing nature of ginger, and the ability to add sweetness and spiciness to a dish.

[BEER]

Beer That’s as Healthy as a Sports Drink Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

F

or a little over a year, WellBeing Brewing (wellbeingbrewing.com) has been at the forefront of a movement that has seen the beverage industry shift away from booze toward quality non-alcoholic options.

Now, the St. Louis-based N/A craft beer company is shaking up the industry even further with its latest release — which it’s dubbing the healthiest beer in the world. e ictory eat is t e first ever non-alcoholic craft beer enhanced with electrolytes, the minerals that are essential to keeping the body hydrated. Described by WellBeing founder Jeff Stevens as an “adult sport drink,” Victory Wheat makes its debut this week as t e first craft eer to e mar eted as a ona fide ealt evera e.

Stevens always had the idea of brewing healthy, functional beverages that use craft beer as a base — it’s why he named the company ell ein in t e first place. Ho ever, he was inspired to take the

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WellBeing is making the first-ever beer enhanced with electrolytes. | COURTESY OF WELLBEING leap into the health-beverage world after reading about how the German Olympic team trained with craft beer.

“We always knew that when you took the alcohol out of beer, it would be healthier,” Stevens explains. “Then, an article came out about a German Olympic team that trained with craft beer. Beer naturally has antioxidants and is anti in ammatory ut t ose can t come out because of the alcohol.

Then I thought, ‘Could we put electrolytes in it?’ If so, it would be a sports drink.”

Stevens got the extra push he needed after a serendipitous meeting with the local hydrationfocused startup Buoy. Introduced

MAY 22-28, 2019

riverfronttimes.com

to the founders through a mutual friend, he found himself impressed with Buoy’s work using the World Health Organization’s standards to develop a avorless electrolyte enhancement that could be added to water to boost hydration in developing countries.

In addition to its work in the developing world, Buoy was also looking to get into the beverage business, even working with bars to sell its products as a hangover antidote. Once Stevens heard of these plans, he was sure Buoy was the right partner to help him on his healthy beer mission.

“The thing about beer is that it is really hydrating once you take the alcohol out of it,” Stevens

If you weren’t working in the restaurant business, what would you be doing?

Most likely an interior designer or a musician.

Name an ingredient never allowed in your restaurant.

A bad attitude. Does that count as an ingredient?

What is your after-work hangout?

Since I work most evenings, it’s on the couch, having a glass of wine with my husband, reminiscing about the day.

What’s your food or beverage guilty pleasure? ce cream any and all avors — I literally could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

What would be your last meal on Earth?

Snapper ceviche with green fried plantains while drinking fresh coconut water! n

explains. “In addition, N/A beer has micronutrients in it called polyphenols that are anti-oxidants and anti in ammatories.

It helps the respiratory system and makes it so you don’t swell.

It’s great for athletes in training or people working out — like an adult, good-tasting Gatorade.”

Stevens doesn’t view the Victory Wheat as merely a sports drink, though. The golden wheat beer, brewed with a hint of blood orange, is delicious in its own right, he says. Plus, he notes, there are many reasons you might want its refreshing powers that have nothing to do with the gym.

“This is the perfect beer to have after mowing the lawn on a hot summer day because it’s super hydrating and refreshing,” Stevens says. “Also, we like to think of this as your ‘last call’ beer; it gets you super hydrated before you go to bed so you don’t wake up with a hangover.”

And there is one additional category of drinkers that he thinks ill enefit from ictory eat.

“Stoners,” Stevens laughs.

“You’re really thirsty, but mixing that with alcohol isn’t great.”

Stevens is optimistic about Victory Wheat’s success and has already s ipped off t e first pallets around town and to a few cities out of state. He expects that the new beer will be available in the area liquor stores and retailers that carry WellBeing this week.

He’s looking forward to gauging the response.

“The nice thing about craft beer is the we can tweak things a little here and there,” Stevens says.

“But I think this is delicious.” n

[FOOD NEWS]

Frankly Joins Spate of Cherokee Closures Written by

SARAH FENSKE

F

rankly on Cherokee (2744 Cherokee Street, 314-325-3013) has closed its doors — and its food truck is ready to say goodbye, too.

Owners Bill and Jamie Cawthon announced on their website May 14 that they’d be closing the concept and selling both the brand and the truck that kicked everything off. The restaurant’s final night of service was Saturday, May 18.

“Despite giving it our very best efforts, we simply couldn’t make the location work for our concept, so we will be serving our last dinner this Saturday,” the restaurateurs wrote. “Please help us say goodbye by allowing us to do our favorite thing, serving you a great meal.

“We’re also listing our food truck, our brand, and all future bookings for sale.

While the Frankly Sausages food truck has been successful, we’ve poured much of our time and energy into the brick and mortar and would love to see a new operator come in and truly take the Frankly Sausages food truck to the heights it’s always been capable of.”

The Cawthons moved back to Bill’s native St. Louis after years in Los Angeles.

While Bill Cawthon continued his path in the fine-dining industry, working for Pastaria and Cardwell’s at the Plaza, the food truck he launched, Frankly Sausages, quickly became a hit. In November 2017, he opened the counter-service brick-andmortar Frankly on Cherokee on Cherokee Street, and drew serious acclaim. It was

Frankly on Cherokee started as a food truck before giving Cherokee Street a go. | MABEL SUEN one of RFT critic Cheryl Baehr’s ten best restaurants of the year, and also earned a nod for one of the twenty best places in St. Louis where you could get a meal for $20 or less.

But while Cherokee Street gets great foot traffic, it’s proven a tough spot for restaurateurs. Vista Ramen — another widely acclaimed eatery — closed its doors last year after a brief attempt to rebrand as a diner-style concept. The Palm Trees, a well-regarded Saudi restaurant, also failed to make it work, as did Parm Pasta & Sandwich Co. More recently, the tea shop Tea Rex announced it would be closing at

month’s end, and the bar Propaganda closed after a three-year run. Like Frankly on Cherokee, its last day of service was Saturday.

Owner Tatyana Telnikova, who grew up in Soviet Russia, had launched Propaganda in May 2016 as a wink at her childhood. She announced the closure on the bar’s website May 10, saying the project had become “financially nonviable.”

For two years prior to opening Propaganda, Telnikova operated Art Bar at the same location. She also owns HandleBar in the Grove.

“Due to a variety of circumstances we

experienced a gradual dip in sales that is hard to recover from without a large time and possibly financial investment that I can not afford as I choose to focus on the HandleBar, and on my best project yet — a beautiful eight-month-old daughter,” she wrote.

As for Frankly’s owners, the Cawthons did not indicate what they intend to do next, stating simply, “While we don’t have any future plans ready to announce, we are very much looking forward to new ways to bring you the thing we do best: Excellent, unbending quality food grounded in the principle of doing something simple, right.” n

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MAY 22-28, 2019

RIVERFRONT TIMES

53

54

OUT EVERY NIGHT

[CRITIC’S PICK]

Tacocat. | VIA GROUND CONTROL TOURING

Tacocat 8 p.m. Friday, May 24. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $12. 314-773-3363.

Moving from Sub Pop’s farm-team label, Hardly Art, to the imprint’s main roster may seem like a little too much inside baseball, but Tacocat’s ascension to perhaps the most storied indie label speaks to how well the indie-pop quartet has mastered its multi-pronged approach. On its just-released LP This Mess Is a Place, Emily Nokes’ malleable voice sounds

THURSDAY 23

ADAM GAFFNEY: 8:30 p.m., free. The Frisco Barroom, 8110 Big Bend Blvd., Webster Groves, 314-455-1090.

ALEXANDER RUWE BAND: 9 p.m., $6. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

ANDREW DUNCANSON & JOE ASSELIN: 7 p.m., $5.

BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

BAD WOLVES: 6:30 p.m., $25-$35. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

BASEMENT: w/ Nothing, Gouge Away 8 p.m., $20-$23. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

BEASTO BLANCO: w/ Torchlight Parade 7 p.m., $17.

Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

THE CACTUS BLOSSOMS: 8 p.m., $15-$18. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

CASKEY: w/ Jordan Baumstark, Trenton P, Solider B 8 p.m., $20-$22. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

ELDRACO PRICE + FREE NATION: w/ Bebe and the eo ouls nnalyse p.m. free. c la y ap Room, 2100 Locust St., St. Louis, 314-241-2337.

GOOD MORNING BEDLAM: w/ The Hollow Ends, River Kittens 9 p.m., $7. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226.

HOWARD LEVY AND CHRIS SIEBOLD: 7 p.m., $30.

Joe’s Cafe, 6014 Kingsbury Ave, St. Louis.

JEREMIAH JOHNSON ACOUSTIC DUO: 4 p.m., free.

Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

KINGDOM BROTHERS: 8 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

OLD CAPITAL SQUARE DANCE CLUB: w/ Elliott Pearson & The Passing Lane, Nick Gusman 8 p.m., $10. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St.,

Wednesday May 22 9:30PM Urban Chestnut Presents

Sean Canan’s Voodoo Tribute To Stevie Ray Vaughn

Thursday May 23 9PM

Alexander Ruwe Band Saturday May 25 10PM

Roland Johnson and Soul Endeavor Sunday May 26 10PM

Gene Jackson and Friends Wednesday May 29 9:30PM Urban Chestnut Presents

Sean Canan’s Voodoo Tribute To The Highwaymen

Friday May 31 10PM

Matt Stansberry and the Romance 54

RIVERFRONT TIMES

MAY 22-28, 2019

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great on both the rangey, reverberant opener “Hologram” and the glammy stomp of “Grain of Salt.” The quartet grew out of a love for a previous generation of riot grrl records, and Tacocat’s message of self-actualization — “Don’t forget to remember who the fuck you are,” Nokes implores — mixes well with its smart and syrupy pop jams.

Arrive On Time: Sammi Lanzetta opens the show with punkish, quick-hit energy and dreamy, languid reveries.

—Christian Schaeffer St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

PIERCE CRASK: 6 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

ROXY ROCA BAND: 10 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

THE SPIRIT OF THE BEEHIVE: 9 p.m., $10-$13. Foam, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100.

THE WHO: 7 p.m., $39-$300. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944.

FRIDAY 24

AVATAR: w/ Devin Townsend, Dance With The Dead, ‘68 7 p.m., $25-$30. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

BAD HABITS: w/ Rabbit Ear Movement (R.E.M. Tribute), Miserable Now (Smiths Tribute) 8 p.m., $10. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

BROTHER JEFFERSON BAND: 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

DISTANT EYES: w/ Overnighter, The Mindframes, Biff K’narly and the Reptilians 9 p.m., $7. The Sinkhole, 7423 South Broadway, St. Louis, 314-328-2309.

DWIGHT YOAKAM: w/ Steve Earle, Junior Brown p.m. . . esterfield mp it eater eterans lace rive esterfield.

JACOB JAMES WILTON: a o y o er The Sigmund Frauds 8 p.m., $8. Foam, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100.

LEROY JODIE PIERSON: 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

LET’S NOT: w/ Qstreet 9 p.m., $7. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226.

THE MONOLITHIC: w/ The Hell Yeah Babies,

Continued on pg 55

ruiser ueen p.m. free. c la y ap oom 2100 Locust St., St. Louis, 314-241-2337.

RAW EARTH: 6:30 p.m., free. Soulard Art Market and Contemporary Art Gallery, 2028 S. 12th St., St. Louis, 314-258-4299.

ROLAND JOHNSON & SOUL ENDEAVOR: 8 p.m., $3. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

SCRAMBLED: 9:30 p.m., free. The Frisco Barroom, 8110 Big Bend Blvd., Webster Groves, 314-455-1090.

STRUGGLE JENNINGS: w/ Brianna Harness, The Stixxx, Big Buzz 7 p.m., $20-$75. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

TACOCAT!: w/ Sammi Lamzetta 8 p.m., $12-$15.

Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

THAT ‘90S JAM: 8 p.m., $7-$13. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

WELCOME TO THE DUNGEON: w/ Kandi Burruss, Trina, Tamar Braxton 9 p.m., $65-$100. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

SATURDAY 25

ABOVE & BEYOND: 9 p.m., TBA. Ameristar Casino, 1 Ameristar Blvd., St. Charles, 636-949-7777.

ALL ROOSTERED UP: noon, free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

DECOMPOSER: w/ Maniacal Force, Gorbza, Lightning Wolf 7:30 p.m., $8. The Sinkhole, 7423 South Broadway, St. Louis, 314-328-2309.

ELTON JOHN KARAOKE: 8 p.m., free. West End Grill & Pub, 354 N. Boyle Ave., St. Louis, 314-531-4607.

JOHN MCVEY BAND: 9 p.m., $3. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

JOSHUA ABRAMS & NATURAL INFORMATION SOCIETY: 8 p.m., $10-$20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

LILAC KINGS: w/ Body Thief, the Richters, Kaiju Killers, Morning Mtn 7 p.m., $8. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

LOVE JONES “THE BAND”: 10 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

MISS JUBILEE: 7:30 p.m., $5. Das Bevo Biergarten, 4749 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-224-5521.

MOOKIE TOLLIVER: w/ Shai Lynn, Omily, Azeei, O Boys, Armonti, D’Frynce 8 p.m., $10-$15. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

OTHER PEOPLE: w/ Subtropolis, The Bitter Ends p.m. free. c la y ap oom ocust St., St. Louis, 314-241-2337.

POINTFEST 2019: w/ Live, Seether, Coheed and Cambria, Fuel, Filter, P.O.D., Greek Fire, ndre . . t e lorious ons ad o er Palaye Royale, Dirty Honey noon, TBA. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944.

RAW EARTH: 6:30 p.m., free. 50Fifty Kitchen, 3723 S Kingshighway Blvd, St. Louis, 314-875-9623.

SNOW THA PRODUCT: 7 p.m., $20. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

THE USUAL SUSPECTS: 7 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

SUNDAY 26

HENRY TOWNSEND PIANO PROJECT: 1 p.m., $10.

BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

HEROES AMONG US: 2 p.m., free. Webster University Community Music School, 535 Garden Ave., Webster Groves, 314-968-5939.

J.P. SOARS & THE RED HOTS: 7:30 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

KASIMU PRESENTS MILES DAVIS: 5 p.m., $10.

BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

MICHAEL ANGELO BATIO: 7 p.m., $18. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

MILES DAVIS DOUBLE CELEBRATION: 3 p.m., $15-$20. Ozark Theatre, 103 E. Lockwood Ave., St. Louis, 314-962-7000.

RICHARD LLOYD: w/ Finn’s Motel 8 p.m., $15.

Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314498-6989.

RIVER CITY OPRY MAY EDITION: w/ Caroline Steinkamp, Oddsoul and The Sound, Andrew & the Dolls, Amber Skies 1 p.m., $5. Off Broad-

way, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

ROCK UNIVERSITY FESTIVAL 2019 MUSIC AWARDS: w/ Bleach, Tree One Four, Ignore The Lights, Evan Thomas 6 p.m., $5. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

ST. LOUIS CHAMBER CHORUS: 3 p.m., $10-$30.

Shaare Emeth Congregation, 11645 Ladue, St. Louis, 314-569-0010.

THIRD SIGHT BAND: 10:30 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

THROWBACKS & COCKTAILS: w/ Yung Joc, DJ Unk 3 p.m., $15-$20. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

TONY CAMPANELLA MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND BLUES PARTY: 2 p.m., free. Yacht Club of St. Louis, 105 Lake Village Drive, St. Charles, 636-250-3042.

MONDAY 27

THE CONVALESCENCE: 6:30 p.m., $10. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

CRAZY TOWN 20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TOUR: 6 p.m., $20-$22. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

ERIC AND LARRY: 6 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

THE GARCIA PROJECT: 8 p.m., $15-$20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

SOULARD BLUES BAND: 9 p.m., $5. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

STEVE REEB: 3 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

TUESDAY 28

ALEX SINCLAIR: 6 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

COMBO CHIMBITA: 8 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS: w/ Dayshell, Awake at Last, At My Mercy 6:30 p.m., $15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

KHARMA: w/ Kill Their Past, Brute Force, Soul Craft 7:30 p.m., $7. Foam, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100.

THE MAINE: w/ Grayscale 8 p.m., $25-$28. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

STL SHED: 7 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

WEDNESDAY 29

BIG RICH MCDONOUGH & RHYTHM RENEGADES: 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

THE DAMNED: w/ The Detroit Cobras 8 p.m., $25$28. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

THE DANGEROUS SUMMER: w/ Have Mercy, Modern Chemistry 8 p.m., $17-$20. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

EVAN COLE: 5:30 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

JASON COOPER BAND: 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

OCEANO: w/ Oceano, Angelmaker, Prison, Cambion 6:30 p.m., $16-$19. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

SORRY PLEASE CONTINUE: 8 p.m., $5. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226.

THE 5,6,7,8’S: w/ Bloodshot Bill 8 p.m., $20.

Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

THIS JUST IN THE ACACIA STRAIN: W/ Kublai Khan, Judiciary, Chamber, Wed., Aug. 7, 6:30 p.m., TBA. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

ADULT MOM: W/ The Sidekicks, Thu., July 11, 8 p.m., $13-$15. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

ALEX SINCLAIR: Tue., May 28, 6 p.m., free.

Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

ALL ST. LOUIS REVUE, VOL. I ALBUM RELEASE PARTY NIGHT ONE: W/ Neil C. Luke, Big Mike Aguirre, Tommy Halloran, a Tribute to Nathan Jatcko, Fri., June 28, 8 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

ALL ST. LOUIS REVUE, VOL. I ALBUM RELEASE PARTY NIGHT TWO: W/ Emily Wallace, Big Mike Aguirre, Eugene Johnson, a Tribute to Nathan

Continued on pg 57

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MAY 22-28, 2019

RIVERFRONT TIMES

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[CRITIC’S PICK]

Combo Chimbita. | STEPHANIE ORENTAS

Combo Chimbita 8 p.m. Tuesday, May 28.

Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $10 to $12. 314-773-3363.

Were the author of One Hundred Years of Solitude still alive to opine on the matter, he just might deem Combo Chimbita the most magically real of all bands. Alchemizing all manner of traditional Latin and Afro-Carribean music — cumbia, champeta, calypso and trippy dub — the New York City-based group wails, fuzzes and grooves into an Afrofuturism that even Garcia Márquez

OUT EVERY NIGHT Continued from pg 55

Jatcko, Sat., June 29, 8 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

THE AMBASSADORS OF HARMONY: Sat., June 15, 8 p.m., $24-$31. Blanche M Touhill Performing Arts Center, 1 University Dr at Natural Bridge Road, Normandy, 314-516-4949.

AND THE KIDS: W/ The Harmaleighs, Sun., July 14, 8 p.m., $10-$12. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

THE BATTLE OF THE DADS: Sat., Aug. 24, 8 p.m., $10-$13. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

BIG RICH MCDONOUGH & RHYTHM RENEGADES: Wed., May 29, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

BOONDOX: W/ September Mourning, Thu., June 13, 8 p.m., $10-$15. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

BOXCAR: Sat., July 13, 10 p.m., free. Tower Grove Farmers’ Market, Main Dr & Center Cross Drive, St. Louis, 314-771-4410.

CAYUCAS: Fri., July 26, 7 p.m., $15. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

CELERY REUNION SHOW: W/ The Pat Sajak Assassins, Killing Fever, Fri., June 21, 8:30 p.m., $10. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

CORROSION OF CONFORMITY: W/ Crowbar, Quaker City Night Hawks, Lo-Pan, Tue., Aug. 6, 8 p.m., $25-$75. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

DABABY: Sun., June 2, 9 p.m., $25-$55. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis,

could not have imagined. On this year’s bracing Ahomale (Yoruba for “adorer of ancestors”), Combo Chimbita immerses listeners in a trance that’s as spiritually supple as it is playfully psychedelic, led by the keening vocals of singer and percussionist Carolina Oliveros and rhythms that slow burn, surge and jubilate like a dozen saint-day festivals in the barrio.

Indie Cred (Not That It Matters): For its second album, Combo Chimbita enlisted producer Daniel Schlett, who has worked with the War on Drugs and Modest Mouse. The results are even more hypnotic than you’d expect.

—Roy Kasten 618-274-6720.

DARLING SKYE: W/ The Midlife, Morning Mtn, An Unfortunate Trend, Chief Swiftwater, Sat., July 13, 6:30 p.m., $10. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

DEFEATER: Fri., Sept. 27, 7:30 p.m., $15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

ERIC AND LARRY: Mon., May 27, 6 p.m., free.

Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

EVAN COLE: Wed., May 29, 5:30 p.m., free.

Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

GRIND: A TRIBUTE TO ALICE IN CHAINS: W/ Core: A Tribute to Stone Temple Pilots, Somewhat Damaged: A Tribute to Nine Inch Nails, Sat., July 13, 8 p.m., $10. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

JASON COOPER BAND: Wed., May 29, 10 p.m., $5.

BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

JELLY ROLL: W/ Steve O’Brien, Sat., June 15, 8 p.m., $20-$25. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

JIM BRICKMAN: Fri., Dec. 6, 8 p.m., $35-$75.

Blanche M Touhill Performing Arts Center, 1 University Dr at Natural Bridge Road, Normandy, 314-516-4949.

KASIMU PRESENTS MILES DAVIS: Sun., May 26, 5 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

KHARMA: W/ Capitol Offense, Kill Their Past, Brute Force, Bardock, Tue., May 28, 7 p.m., $7. Foam, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100.

KVAR BLACK BLUES: Sat., June 1, 8:15 p.m., free.

CBGB, 3163 S. Grand Blvd., St. Louis.

MATT MAESON: Mon., Aug. 26, 8 p.m., $15-$18.

Continued on pg 59

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[CRITIC’S PICK]

The dang Damned! | VIA BLACK ARTS PR

The Damned 8 p.m. Wednesday May 29.

Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Boulevard. $25 to $28. 314-726-6161.

In a pretty great get for the talent-buying team at Delmar Hall, the Damned will be hitting St. Louis on its short run of U.S. dates pinned to the Punk Rock Bowling fest in Las Vegas and Camp Anarchy in Thornville, Ohio. Better still, the legendary British punk band will be performing its 1979 masterpiece Machine Gun Etiquette in its entirety, in celebration of

OUT EVERY NIGHT Continued from pg 57

Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

THE MIGHTY PINES: W/ Handmade Moments, The Kay Brothers, Sat., June 15, 8 p.m., $12$17. Atomic Cowboy Pavilion, 4140 Manchester Avenue, St. Louis, 314-775-0775.

NAME IT NOW!: W/ The Wild & Free, Kaiju Killers, Sat., June 29, 7 p.m., $5-$8. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

THE PAJAMA JAM: W/ Dirty Henrry, T Mali, Tony Balentino, Coopah Casino, Marzo, Mechdagod, Fri., June 14, 8 p.m., $10-$15. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

PURPLE MOUNTAINS: Tue., Aug. 20, 8 p.m., $20-$25. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

Q HALL VS. OEAUX: W/ DJ K Mean, DJ Nico Marie, Tech Supreme, Sat., June 8, 8 p.m., $10. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

ROCK THE ROOFTOP: W/ Boxcar, Andrew and the Dolls, Wed., June 12, 7 p.m., free. Angad Arts Hotel, 6550 Samuel Shepard Dr, St. Louis, 314-561-0033.

ROCK UNIVERSITY FESTIVAL 2019 MUSIC AWARDS: W/ Bleach, Tree One Four, Ignore The Lights, Evan Thomas, Sun., May 26, 6 p.m., $5.

Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

RUSSIAN CIRCLES: W/ Windhand, Mon., Nov. 11, 8 p.m., $16-$18. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

SEPTEMBER MOURNING: Thu., June 13, 8 p.m., $10-$15. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

SETHCON STL ROCK SHOWCASE: Fri., June 14, 7 p.m., $10. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

SHAWN JAMES: Thu., July 25, 8 p.m., $15.

Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis,

the album’s 40th birthday. A departure from the band’s earlier work, Etiquette incorporated garage-rock, pop and psychedelic influences — along with early flashes of the gothic style the band would experiment with in later releases — with the punk rock for which it was already known. The end result is rightly hailed as a classic, and Delmar Hall will be a hell of a cool place to see it performed live.

Enter the Snake Pit: Garage-rock act Detroit Cobras, hailing from — well, you can probably figure it out — will open the show.

—Daniel Hill 314-498-6989.

SNAP DOGG: Fri., June 14, 7 p.m., $20-$70.

Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

SORRY PLEASE CONTINUE: Wed., May 29, 8 p.m., $5. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226.

SOULARD BLUES BAND: Mon., May 27, 9 p.m., $5. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

STL SHED: Tue., May 28, 7 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

TECH TREK IV: W/ Archspire, Inferi, Virvum, Summoning the Lich, Polterguts, Thu., May 30, 7 p.m., $18-$20. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

THIRD SIGHT BAND: Sun., May 26, 10:30 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

THUNDERPUSSY: W/ Hollis Brown, Tue., July 30, 7 p.m., $18. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

TODRICK: Sat., Nov. 2, 8 p.m., $30-$35.

Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

TONY CAMPANELLA MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND BLUES PARTY: Sun., May 26, 2 p.m., free. Yacht Club of St. Louis, 105 Lake Village Drive, St. Charles, 636-250-3042.

A TRIBUTE TO ARETHA FRANKLIN: Fri., June 28, 7 p.m., $15-$30. Machinists Hall, 12365 St. Charles Rock Road, Bridgeton, 314-869-8773.

TYLER CHILDERS: W/ Courtney Marie Andrews, Tue., Oct. 29, 8 p.m., $27.50-$57.50. Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600.

UFO: LAST ORDERS 50TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR: Mon., Oct. 21, 8 p.m., $25-$60. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

WEYES BLOOD: Tue., Oct. 1, 8 p.m., $16-$18. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

YEAR OF THE COBRA: W/ Forming the Void, Thu., June 27, 7:30 p.m., $12. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. n

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SAVAGE LOVE HARD FEELINGS

BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: I keep running into the same issue with my best friend of five years. (She’s also my maid of honor at my upcoming wedding.)

We’re both empaths — most of my friends are — and we’re both in therapy working on how to cope with that. I have severe anxiety that impacts my physical health, so one of the empath-related issues I’m working on is not following through with plans when I need to take time alone. My friend claims she understands this but my actions severely impact her mood.

Example: We’ll make tentative plans to get together, I’ll feel too sick to follow through, and then she’s in a negative emotional spiral for days.

The final straw came when she called me late this past Friday night — just once, with no subsequent voice mail, text message, or follow-up call. On Monday morning, I sent her a text message asking how her weekend was and got an icy reply. Evidently, something happened to her on Friday, she called me for support, and my failure to return her call left her feeling very upset. I apologized for the accidental trigger and tried to lay down some protocols for reaching out in an emergency situation (leave me a voice mail and send a follow-up text) so I know it’s urgent. She hasn’t replied.

I’m really frustrated. She has a lot of baggage around being shamed for being emotional, so I try to be careful not to invalidate her feelings, but I don’t know if that’s even making a difference.

We’ve had several conflicts over the last year, always triggered by something I did or said, almost always accidentally, that caused her to “take a step back.” She insists she understands I’m doing my best to be a good friend while also working through my own emotional shit. But that’s not the sense I’m getting. I’m feeling increasingly like it’s impossible to be a human being AND her friend. Until recently, I had zero emotional boundaries and made myself available to her at a moment’s notice to help shoulder her emotional burden. But now

that I’m trying to be more conservative with my abundance and take better care of myself, it seems like all I do is hurt her.

What the fuck do I do? I’ve tried to be open-minded and patient with her dramatic mood swings, but she seems unable to give me the benefit of the doubt, which I always try to give her. This rocky ground between us is adding more stress to the whole wedding situation.

(You’re supposed to be able to rely on your maid of honor, right?) This thing we have is not sustainable as it is, although I love her deeply.

Help me figure this out?

Emotions Making Personal Affection Too Hard Being so attuned to other people’s emotional states that you feel their pain — being an empath — sounds exhausting. But Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist in private practice, isn’t convinced your empath superpowers are the problem here.

“EMPATH’s moods seem overly dependent on what the other person does,” said Gottlieb. “That’s not being ‘an empath.’ Most people are empathetic, which isn’t the same as what these two are doing. They’re drowning in each other’s feelings. This is what pop culture might call codependency, and what in therapy we’d call an attachment issue.”

From your letter, EMPATH, it sounds like you might be ready to detach from your friend — you mentioned a final stra and described the relationship as not sustainable — and detaching would resolve this attachment issue.

“This feels less like a friendship and more like a psychodrama where they’re each playing out their respective issues,” said Gottlieb. “A friendship isn’t about solving another person’s emotional issues or being the container for them. It isn’t about being devastated by another person’s feelings or boundaries. It should be a mutually fulfillin relations ip not being co-therapists to each other.

In a strong friendship, each person can handle her own emotions rather than relying on the friend to regulate them for her.”

Gottlieb started writing an advice column because, unlike psychotherapists, advice columnists are supposed to tell people what

to do. I’m guessing your therapist mostly asks questions and gently nudges, EMPATH, but since Gottlieb has her advice-columnist hat on today and not her psychotherapist hat, I asked her to tell you what to do.

“She should act more like a friend than a therapist/caretaker,” said Gottlieb. “She shouldn’t treat her friend or herself as if they’re too fragile to handle basic communication or boundaries. And they should both be working out their issues with their respective therapists, not with each other.”

And if you decide to keep this woman in your life (and your wedding party), EMPATH, you’ll both have to work on — sigh — your communication skills.

“Right now, they don’t seem to know how to communicate directly with each other,” said Gottlieb. “It’s either an icy text or complaining to outside parties about each other. But when it comes to how they interact with each other, they’re so careful, as if one or both might break if they simply said, ‘Hey, I really care about you and I know sometimes you want to talk about stuff, but sometimes it feels like too much and maybe something you can talk to your therapist about.’”

Lori Gottlieb’s new book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, is a New York Times best seller. Follow her on Twitter @LoriGottlieb1.

Hey, Dan: I will be driving to New Orleans from Toronto. It’s almost impossible to drive from Ontario to Louisiana without stopping for fuel/food/hotel in Ohio, Georgia, or Alabama. But I want to boycott Handmaid states during my trip.

Even then, I feel I have to check the news every day to see what state is next. Do you have any practical advice for me? Or should I just stay home until your democratic systems and your courts are fixed and your Electoral College is abolished?

Canadian Avoids Nearing Terrible Georgia, Ohio Why head south, CANTGO? Even if you’ve lived in Canada all your life, you couldn’t possibly have explored every corner of your beautiful country. But if you absolutely, positively must board the Titanic — excuse me, if you must visit the United States — take a hard right

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after you cross the border and head west instead. Enjoy Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, check out some of those lakes they’re always talking about in Minnesota, speed through the Dakotas, Montana and the skinniest part of Idaho, and pretty soon you’ll be in Washington State, where a woman’s right to choose is enshrined in the state constitution. The summers are lovely, we’ve got hiking trails that will take you to mountain lakes, and Democrats control both houses of the state legislature and the governor’s mansion, so you won’t have to check the news every day when you’re in Seattle.

CONFIDENTIAL TO EVERYONE: Anti-choice, anti-woman, anti-sex bills have been rammed through Republican-controlled state legislatures in Ohio, Georgia, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, Utah, Mississippi and Alabama. “The new wave of anti-abortion laws suggests that a post-Roe America won’t look like the country did before 1973, when the court case was decided,” Michelle Goldberg wrote in the New York Times. “It will probably be worse.” If these bills are declared constitutional — a real possibility now — doctors will be jailed, women who have miscarriages will be prosecuted, and many forms of birth control will be banned. If you’re as pissed off as I am — and anyone who isn’t can piss right off — please make sure you and all your friends are registered to vote so you can vote out antichoice state legislators and governors in 2020.

To be clear: Right now, abortion remains legal in all 50 states. So you don’t have to wait until next November to send a “fuck you” to red-state Republicans pushing these laws. Make a donation to an organization that helps women obtain abortions in red states — like The Yellowhammer Fund in Alabama (yellowhammerfund. org), Gateway Women’s Access Fund in Missouri (gwaf.org) and Women Have Options in Ohio (womenhaveoptions.org).

Listen to Dan’s podcast at savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter ITMFA.org

MAY 22-28, 2019

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HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS HAPPY HOUR @ BARCELONA M-F 3:30 – 6:30 •The ONLY place where you can get $12 Pitchers of SANGRIA in Town!!!

•The BEST Calamari!

•The BEST VIBE!

•The Usual stuff everybody else does!

314.863.9909 BARCELONATAPAS.COM 34N. CENTRAL AVE. ST. LOUIS, MO 63105

BARCELONA Though tapas restaurants aren’t new to St. Louis, the Spanish style of eating, drinking and socializing retains all of its charms. There’s no better place to get a reminder of that than at BARcelona, Clayton’s longtime popular tapas hotspot.

As the restaurant notes on its website, “A tapa is a delicious morsel of food that defines a lifestyle as well as a culinary style. Tapas in Spain are almost always accompanied by wine, but they are as much about talking as they are about eating and drinking. The wine is, perhaps, the medium that holds the conversation, the friends, and the food together. The primary purpose of tapas is to talk to friends, to share the gossip of the day.”

A great time of day to enjoy conversation at the bright, colorful BARcelona is during the happy hour slot of

4 to 6:30 p.m., when a variety of food and drink specials are offered at the bar and on the expansive front patio, one of Clayton’s finest spots to imbibe and to people watch.

Specials include $2 calamari, sliders and burgers, with half-off appetizers and $10 pitchers of sangria.

Speaking of drink offerings.

BARcelona offers a full bar, with a host of international favorites. Its famed sangria joins such fare as bellinis, mimosas, caipirinhas and the self-titled house special (yes, “the BARcelona”), made up of Stoli Vanil, Midori Melon Liqueur, Chambord and pineapple juice.

On Wednesday evening, live music is a fixture along with the restaurant’s other attractions. Which include, we should note, an easy-to-remember slate of hours: 11 a.m. to 11 p.m., seven days a week.

BARCELONA 34 N. CENTRAL AVE. SAINT LO IS, MO 63105 Barcelonatapas.com

HAPPY HOUR

THE HAUNT

St Louis’ Original Halloween Bar

Happy Hour Every Day 3-7pm $13 Domestic Buckets • $2.25 Rails

Ladies Night Every Wed 9pm to Close $1.50 Domestic Beer or Rail Drinks

KARAOKE MADNESS

Every Thursday 9pm to close Check us out on FaceBook for upcoming live music and events

5000 Alaska Ave 314.481.5003