Riverfront Times, May 27, 2020 by Riverfront Times

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MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2020

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THE LEDE

PHOTO BY THEO WELLING “Years ago, I did the Appalachian Trail and the Pacific Crest Trail. Spending that six-month period out in the woods, just living out there, that’s one of the things where it’s like, ‘Man, I want to be outside every day doing stuff!’ Basically, being outside doing this type of stuff is the closest I get to being on the trail and living in the woods every day.”

JEREMIAH WALLACE, HORTICULTURE STAFF WITH WEBSTER GROVES PARKS AND RECREATION DEPARTMENT, PHOTOGRAPHED AT BLACKBURN PARK ON MAY 21 riverfronttimes.com

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Risk Takers IN EARLY MAY, freelance journalist Mike Fitzgerald started reporting on the difficulty of treating drug dependence during the pandemic when the clientele are people who can’t count on a bed to sleep in or even running water to protect themselves from COVID-19. Fitzgerald has previously written in depth for the Riverfront Times about St. Louis’ tragic struggles with addiction, and for this week’s cover story, he follows workers from Missouri Network for Opiate Reform and Recovery as they try to jump extra hurdles to provide a service that can literally be the difference between life and death. Take a look, and then follow it up with RFT columnist Ray Hartmann’s commentary on “Party Covid” during Memorial Day Weekend at the Lake of the Ozarks. It’s not exactly an uplifting one-two punch, but both are worth your attention as Missouri muddles its way through the coronavirus era. For all of the fist-pumping “patriots” willing to put their entertainment first, there are still many others trying to help someone else. — Doyle Murphy, editor in chief

TABLE OF CONTENTS CAN’T

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Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Doyle Murphy

E D I T O R I A L Digital Editor Jaime Lees Hero In A Hot Dog Suit Daniel Hill Contributors Cheryl Baehr, Trenton Almgren-Davis, Jenna Jones, Monica Obradovic, Andy Paulissen A R T

& P R O D U C T I O N Art Director Evan Sult Editorial Layout Haimanti Germain Production Manager Haimanti Germain M U L T I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Advertising Director Colin Bell Senior Account Executive Cathleen Criswell Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel Multimedia Account Executive Jackie Mundy C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

COVER

E U C L I D M E D I A G R O U P Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services Stacy Volhein www.euclidmediagroup.com

Lifeline For groups treating drug dependency during the pandemic, reaching St. Louis’ unhoused addicts is harder than ever Cover photo by

THEO WELLING

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INSIDE The Lede Hartmann News Feature Short Orders Culture Savage Love 6

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HARTMANN No Escape St. Louis will feel the hangover of Lake of the Ozarks ‘Party Covid’ BY RAY HARTMANN

t. Louis was heavily involved in the nation’s top news story Sunday, and even if you missed it because our town was not directly mentioned, take ride that issouri is finally getting noticed. A slew of packed pool parties at the Lake of the Ozarks were the featured attraction at the websites of CNN, CBS News, the Washington Post, TMZ, the Boston Globe and so on. Missouri went viral as a citadel of selfishness. It seems that boisterous partygoers were not content with mere eu horia over the official reopening of Missouri. No, they

produced a cheap remake of Fast Times at Ridgemont High filmed at multiple sites of the rollicking resort destination just as the United States approached the tragic landmark of 100,000 coronavirus deaths. ourists ooded bars and restaurants at the lake, with multiple videos showing unmistakably that social distancing was nonexistent. One might have gleaned from the images that the wearing of masks had been banned. People were on top of each other so blatantly that Missouri’s morons left those of the other 49 states in the dust. It took a display of both the brains and circumstance of sardines to catch this much attention in a country filled ith defiant mouth-breathers joyfully celebrating their God-given right to spread disease. Especially on Sunday. Actually, the attention was international if you count the UK’S tabloid Daily Mail story headlined, “Hundreds gather for a ‘Zero Ducks Given’ pool party in Mis-

souri as the US sees wild Memorial Day blowouts after lockdown was eased.” It posted lots of videos and photos, from multiple bars, “that showed people inches away from one another at swim-up bars and bathing suit-clad drinkers hugging and dancing closely.” At least the world no longer regards Missouri as a drab dirt atch in yover country. he state might become a vacation paradise for mindless drunks the world over once the pandemic passes. So, congratulations, Party Covid. You’re the envy of the undeveloped world. Meanwhile, sheltering at home and social distancing from the story Sunday were Governor Mike Parson and his state health director Dr. Randall Williams, who could not be reached for comment by any of the world’s media. Williams finally issued a statement on Monday, warning that COVID-19 was still a danger and asking people to practice social distancing. “The virus can be transmit-

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ted even among those young and healthy who aren’t experiencing symptoms,” he said. “When they then carry the virus and transmit it to a more vulnerable person, this is when we tend to see the longlasting and tragic impact of these decisions that are being made.” Making this extra special was the context that Missouri ranks as the sixteenth worst state in “uncontrolled coronavirus spread” at epidemic levels, according to a study by researchers at Imperial College London, the Washington Post reported. The researchers created a model incorporating cellphone data that estimated viral spread as of May 17. The study “highlights the risk of a second wave of infections in places that reopen too quickly or without sufficient recautions the Post reported. “This has become a geographically complex pandemic, one that will evolve, especially as people increase their movements in coming weeks.”

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HARTMANN

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St. Louis is about to receive a real-time geography lesson. The Lake of the Ozarks horror movie is coming to a theater near you. St. Louis is the closest major city to the Lake of the Ozarks, and thousands of the area’s residents own or rent vacation homes, enjoy boating and other ise ock to the o ular spot. Therein lies the problem: A whole lot of those partiers risking their health and the health of others hail from the metropolitan area. By the time you read this, they’ll be home. Whether they packed the coronavirus remains to be seen. What happens at the lake doesn’t stay at the lake if what happens is COVID-19. That wasn’t lost on Mayor Lyda Krewson who was not shy in displaying her disgust: “It’s irresponsible and dangerous to engage in such high-risk behavior just to have some fun over the extended holiday weekend,” she said. “Now, these folks will be going home to St. Louis and counties across Missouri and the Midwest, raising concerns about the potential of more positive cases, hospitalizations, and tragically, deaths. Deeply disturbing.” Krewson is right, but there’s little she can do about it. St. Louis is just part of Missouri and Missouri is just part of the nation. The economy couldn’t stay closed forever. Now that it’s reopening everywhere, no mayor is going to stop the runaway train, even if it’s a second wave. No one knows how this nightmare will end. Regions like St. Louis are betting on the care, caution and compassion of local residents and businesses to keep the spread under control until effective treatment and a vaccine arrive. This weekend’s betting line: Take the under on collective IQ. After all, we’re all connected as Missourians. That was part of us in the pool and on national news. That was part of us groping each other in the images from Shady Gators and Backwater Jacks. The connectivity wasn’t lost on a lake-area business owner, interviewed by KRCG-TV in Jefferson City, who had this to say about some of us. “I don’t know who they’ve been around, were they quarantined,” Vicki Giampa of Blondie’s Burger Bar said. “Now with this weekend coming up, after this weekend, the next fourteen days, I am afraid of what any testing may bring up. You know, are we going to catch it,

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are our customers going to catch it, or are my employees going to catch it? It worries us a lot.” A friend who formerly lived in St. Louis and now resides at the Lake of the Ozarks is more worried about some of her neighbors than about us. “I live here, Ray. Many residents aren’t happy either! The community did a really great job until this last week when everyone decided that they just don’t care. This is Trumpland and I hear the word ‘hoax’ often.” President Clorox doesn’t wear a mask, and some of his patriots won’t either because it shows weakness and you should never trust science and if you let them take away your right to spread your germs, they’re coming for your guns next. But you don’t need to jump into the lake to find some of those folks. hey re in St. Louis, too. We’re all connected as Missourians, and that even includes those two hair stylists who made the NBC national news Saturday for potentially exposing 140 customers and seven employees at a Great Clips in ringfield. hey ere orking with COVID symptoms, although “very mild” in one case, we’re told. Very mild. Brilliant. Parson might get around to saying something about that someday. After all, he grew up near ringfield and his acebook age – not the place, apparently for a leadership message regarding the aforementioned national stories – did let us know the governor was in the area last Thursday, just as the salon infections spread. Parson presided at his granddaughter’s live commencement ceremony, for a senior class of 42, at Sparta High School. Photos would indicate there was partial social distancing, masks optional. The governor didn’t appear to be wearing one. It was the sort of large gathering prohibited by almost all of Parson’s fellow governors. That event took place just a little more than twenty miles from that reat li s in ringfield. hat could go wrong? If any of that worries you, head to arson s official itter feed which also eschewed any messaging about the scandals. But you can find a link to this andling COVID-19 anxiety.” Oh, what a state we’re in. n Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhartmann@sbcglobal.net or catch him on St. Louis In the Know With Ray Hartmann and Jay Kanzler from 9 to 11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

NEWS

tal health, and we want to get them open,” Page said during a news conference. “But we also have to recognize this is one of the highest-risk opportunities for transmission of COVID-19, and we have to do it responsibly.” Gym closures have been a ash oint in the county s effort to control the slow reopening of businesses in hopes of limiting the spread of the coronavirus. House of Pain gym, with locations in hesterfield and aryland Heights, reopened on May 4 in defiance of the county s orders. Owner Joseph Corbett has sued the county in federal court, naming Page, acting Director of Public Health Emily Doucette and County Counselor Beth Orwick as de-

fendants. “These infringements on certain of our Constitutional rights would have been unimaginable in our freedom-loving country before COVID-19,” the gyms’ lawsuit says. Corbett argues his staff is well versed in cleaning procedures, and the gyms are almost certainly in better shape than other places that have remained open, such as gas stations where people are regularly touching pump handles. A federal judge ruled against House of Pain on Friday afternoon, granting a temporary restraining order to immediately shut down the gyms while the lawsuit proceeds. During Friday’s news conference, Page said gyms present a

unique challenge, because people working out typically can’t wear masks, and all that heavy breathing sprays potentially diseasecarrying water droplets through the air. He added that he and his staff have met with “very thoughtful and responsible” gym owners who are working hard to create plans for reopening safely, and he believes most operators are being conscientious. “A small percentage of those will choose a different pathway, and we will deal with that on a case-by-case basis,” Page said. County summer camps for kids will be required to follow rules similar to daycares, including ramping up cleaning. They’ll have to scrap large group activities and field tri s and arents ill have to drop off their kids without going in. The guidelines call for oneway entrances and exits for children or curbside drop-offs with parents waiting in their cars. The county has yet to set a date to reopen bars not tied to restaurants. Page said that category includes large entertainment venues and officials are still trying to figure out the best ay to regulate them. He said the tentative plan is to allow the majority of business, with restrictions on operations, to reopen by the end of June. But that could change, he said, because the situation is constantly shifting. Bars are already allowed to open in the city, but only at 25 percent capacity. n

[OUTDOORS]

The zoo says admission will still be free, but attendance will be limited and people will have to sign up for specific times to enter. Staff and guests older than nine will have to wear masks, unless they have a medical condition that would prevent it. The zoo expects to be open seven days a week after being closed since March. “I am excited to share the news about our reopening and I hope everyone knows that the Saint Louis Zoo values safety,” zoo CEO Dr. Jeffrey Bonner said in a news release. “I am amazed at the incredible care our staff has provided to the animals during this pandemic as well as the diligent work underway in preparation to provide our guests with safe and memorable experiences.” While it’s been shut down, the zoo has operated a popular livestream so people can check in on the animals. The zoo was the first big venue to announce an opening date. Last week, St.

Louis began lifting restrictions on certain businesses, clearing the way for what Mayor Lyda Krewson has called a “soft reopening.” Under the city’s order, big operations — such as the zoo, concert halls and sports stadiums — have to submit plans to the city for approval. The Missouri Botanical Garden announced last week it had been cleared to reopen on June 16 — with a list of new rules and procedures. Guests will have to buy tickets in advance for a series of timed-entry slots. Indoor spaces, such as the Climatron, will be closed. And like at the zoo, staff and guests ages nine and older will be required to wear masks. The garden’s Shaw Nature Reserve will also open on June 16, but the Butterfly House in Chesterfield is still working out the details of reopening with St. Louis County. The garden will start selling tickets a week in advance. The zoo will start taking reservations on June 8. n

[GYMS]

Working It Out City gyms can open June 15, but the county is still debating Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

s St. Louis rolls toward a pandemic summer, the city and county are making plans to lift restrictions on day camps for kids, as well as swimming pools and gyms. St. Louis Mayor Lyda Krewson announced on Friday that bigger venues can start opening on June 8, and gyms will be able to open on June 15. City pools aren’t expected to open for at least a month, if at all, because no lifeguards have been hired. That’s a little different from St. Louis County. County Executive Sam Page says day camps can open June 1, followed by pools as well as youth and adult athletic leagues (without fans) on June 15. But gyms are still an open question. Page says the county is considering June 15 for gyms, but it is still up in the air. “Workout facilities, gyms are a very important part of our health, our physical health and our men-

City gyms will be open June 15, but it’s still a big “maybe” in the county. | TRENTON ALMGREN-DAVIS

Spring Awakening The Saint Louis Zoo and MOBOT set June dates to reopen Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

T Everyone is starting to emerge from COVID-19 hibernation. | DOYLE MURPHY

he Saint Louis Zoo plans to reopen on June 13, followed three days later by the Missouri Botanical Garden. They’re expected to be the first two of the city’s big venues to welcome guests since coronavirus-related closures began more than two months ago. And while they are reopening, there will be significant changes to operations.

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For groups treating drug dependency during the pandemic, reaching St. Louis’ unhoused addicts is harder than ever

L I F E L BY MIKE FITZGERALD

PHOTOS BY THEO WELLING

The men head toward the big white van almost as soon as it rolls to a stop in front of Russell Park. It’s just after 3 p.m. on a Tuesday. The park, which stands at the corner of Cabanne Avenue and Goodfellow Boulevard in the West End neighborhood of north St. Louis, consists of a small patch of grass surrounding a large playground in a neighborhood marked by vacant buildings. Some of the men move with the stiff-legged gait of those who spend their nights sleeping rough, stretched out on concrete or grass. A tall man nicknamed “Swoop,” his hair held together in a series of cascading braids, approaches the van tentatively, his movements halting and cautious as the latest hit of heroin crawls through his veins. Swoop, 43, says he’s been home-

less for about nineteen months, and that he uses heroin to selfmedicate for chronic depression. “The depression makes you want to get high,” he says. “You have no job. Nobody wants to give you a job because of your appearance and what you’re doing.” Occasionally, Swoop earns money from odd jobs in the neighborhood. But when he gets home, it’s still the same story, he says. “We still sitting around,” he says. “We get to come back to an abandoned building. We look around, and it’s depressing as soon as you alk in the door. o the first thing we do, we got money in our pockets, we get high.” As far as COVID-19, Swoop says he’s not worried.

“I’m not really around that many people,” he says. “I think God is good. I don’t know. I’m just not that concerned about it.” Swoop grabs a brown paper bag from a cardboard box piled high with lunches, then a bottled water from one of the cases left on the sidewalk. He joins the line of other men inching forward to the van. Standing at the front of the line are Miles Hoffman and Jen Nagel, staff members of the Missouri Network for Opiate Reform and Recovery, or MoNetwork, located at 4022 South Broadway in south St. Louis. MoNetwork owns and operates the van and collects the items it hands out. Hoffman and Nagel eagerly engage with the men, smoothly reaching for simple black backpacks, known as Harm Reduction its hich they fill ith a long list of items calculated to keep Continued on pg 12

From left: Ambu Bag mask, which is used to revive patients who’ve stopped breathing; Narcan nasal spray to reverse drug overdoses; tourniquets, cotton pellets and single-use cookers; personal hygiene supplies; one-way breath shield given in conjunction with Narcan to perform rescue breathing; a surgical mask to minimize the spread of COVID-19 within the addict community; a handwashing station installed outside the MoNetwork headquarters. 10

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L I N E

MoNetwork workers travel around the city in a van, looking for people to help. It has never been easy, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s become more complicated during the pandemic.

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their customers alive for another week. Alcohol-soaked swabs. Hypodermic needle disposal kits. Small plastic tubes of Naloxone, also known as Narcan, which can be squirted up the nose to reverse a drug overdose. In recent months, because of the threat posed by COVID-19, other essentials have been added to the bags: hand sanitizer, disposable gloves, face masks. Hoffman, himself a recovering opiate user, says he wants to bring more resources to north St. Louis residents struggling with drug dependce and homelessness. Which is why he takes the MoNetwork van to the spots around St. Louis where he knows they’re likely to find unhoused eo le. About the time he went into recovery a couple years ago, Hoffman says, the market for illegal opiates went from prescription painkillers to much more powerful opiates, such as heroin and fentanyl. “Things have kind of changed ... the supply had changed, and the drugs had changed, but the people hadn’t,” Hoffman says. “And being able to give people the supplies they need, like Naloxone, to reverse overdoses for their friends and loved ones, to keep people safe and to keep people out of hospitals and to keep people informed, is something I’m really passionate about.” It’s impossible to understand homelessness and drug use in isolation from other big-picture issues, such as access to health care and how people interact with police, Hoffman notes. “And COVID has made that much clearer,” he says. “Now we’re seeing these issues are being amplified. o eo le are saying e need to change things and work within the system.” To Nagel, who is also in recovery, the pandemic’s impact on drug abuse is a brutal stew that mixes the results of the United States’ war on drugs, the lack of resources for treatment and society’s efforts to penalize and moralize away addiction. “And then you get a worldwide epidemic that’s showing glaringly, obviously, that our social structure, our social services, our health services, housing, health care — it’s glaringly obvious how disproportionate it is, and how it is not a good system,” she says. The thing of it is, Hoffman says, the system is doing what it’s designed to do.

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“Which is to keep people in their place,” he explains. “And for right now, what we’re doing is just trying to directly help people who are most impacted by this.”

or more than two decades before the COVID-19 pandemic hit America, the nation was coming to grips with another public health menace: the opioid crisis, a human catastrophe centered in the United States that accounted for the bulk of the nearly 71,000 drug overdose deaths reported nationwide in 2017. On average, 130 Americans each day die from opioid overdoses, according to federal figures. But thanks to an array of strategies — increased access to treatment, government prescription monitoring, a national education campaign to dissuade doctors from overprescribing opiates — overdose fatalities have started to drop nationwide. In 2018, slightly more than 67,000 Americans died from drug overdoses — a decline of 5.6 percent from the previous year after more than twenty years of escalating mortality statistics, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse. But the progress being made nationally in fighting o ioid abuse is not matched in the St. Louis region. Opioid overdose deaths in St. Louis rose 200 percent across the region between 2012 and 2019, according to the NCADA, a local organization originally known as the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse. Between 2017 and 2018, opioid overdose deaths in St. Louis went up 23 percent. In St. Louis County fatalities climbed even higher — by 30 percent. Now, because the COVID-19 pandemic is amplifying the interlocking factors behind overdoses, drug mortality rates are likely to climb even higher, according to Brandon Costerison, an NCADA policy analyst. A key reason is the prolonged social isolation for many people caused by the COVID pandemic — a major driver behind drug relapses. “People are bored, they have time on their hands, they want something to do,” Costerison says. “But on the other hand, they have less money to spend. That kind of combination can be particularly harmful.” In addition, many people are having a difficult time accessing drugs, Costerison says. “Some people might go several days or a week without getting in touch with a dealer to get their

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Tyrone says he worries about dying alone, but MoNetwork has kept him alive. drugs,” he says. “And so when they do get their heroin or fentanyl, their tolerance has dropped as a result of their period of sobriety.” Chad Sabora, co-founder of MoNetwork, says security measures to control America’s borders because of the pandemic have had a big impact among opiate users. “Our drug supply, it’s always been inconsistent because it’s an unregulated market,” Sabora says. “Now it’s even more inconsistent.” Another new consequence of isolating in place is the fact that more drug overdoses are occurring at home, and concerned family members are now more likely to seek help for loved ones with a

suspected drug problem, Costerison says. “Because it used to be, people were able to hide their use by using with a friend,” he explains. “But now that they are quarantined at home and in more contact with family, people are starting to see these things that are odd or coming across as concerning a lot more commonly. Family and friends are starting to see, ‘Oh, this person might have a problem with substance abuse.’” Since COVID-19 is a respiratory disease, it is particularly dangerous for people with compromised immune systems and who are prone to respiratory tract infections — especially the unhoused population,

Miles Hoffman, left, street outreach coordinator for MoNetwork, and Jen Nagel, peer coordinator for employment, MoNetwork.

Nagel and Hoffman hand out backpacks containing harm reduction items and PPE during a stop a few weeks ago at Russell Park in North St. Louis. according to Costerison. Unhoused people are exposed to the elements on a consistent basis and thus “they’re more likely to have some type of respiratory infection,” he says. “Right now a sinus infection could be enough to cause an overdose, because the person’s already having a hard time breathing.” Sabora criticized the City of St. Louis’ decision in early May to take down two homeless tent cities in downtown St. Louis between City Hall and the Soldiers Memorial. ArchCity Defenders, a public interest la firm had filed a la suit to prevent the closure of the encampments in response to a

city order to vacate. The group, through its lawsuit, argued the city did not have “enough shelter beds, motel rooms, and temporary housing for people to move into.” The lawsuit also alleged that there was a waiting list of nearly 100 people for shelter beds. Mayor Lyda Krewson said the order was issued out of concern that the encampments’ residents could spread COVID-19. The problem with that, according to Sabora, is that closing the tent cities scattered the residents, making it harder to track down unhoused people who need help to survive. “We knew where everybody was,” Sabora says about the tent

cities. “All those encampments had a ‘mayor.’” Many of the people who had lived in the homeless encampments were taken to live either in a shuttered retirement center for Catholic nuns called The Little Sisters of the Poor or one of several motels under contract to the city. But a large number of those unhoused people have since left the facilities, according to Sabora. “There was no food at the hotels that they sent people to, like, literally,” he says. “People didn’t have enough to eat. And they still don’t.” Stephen Conway, Krewson’s chief of staff, defends the encampment closures on the grounds that

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For an hour, the MoNetwork van provides an island of decency and compassion in a place and time that often seem as if they lack both. “So many people who suffer from this disorder are ostracized,” says Jen Nagel. they were dirty, overcrowded and a magnet for drug dealing and drug overdoses. “Twenty people shoulder to shoulder throughout the day,” Conway says. “Some of the other conditions were the rotten food, the needles in the tents.” Conway denied that any of the people moved to the Little Sisters site or the three hotels lack access to food. One man at an encampment had walked all the way from Wentzville, while other people had come from alley ark and ffingham Illinois, according to Conway. “We were attracting people from throughout the region and even further,” he says. The city is spending about $250,000 per month to house 232 residents at the Little Sisters facility and the three hotels, and to provide counseling and training services for the dozens of people moved from the encampments, according to Conway. Eventually, the city hopes to be reimbursed by the federal government for its costs, he says. “Our goal, it was a great opportunity to introduce some of these people to a fresh start, besides being an incredible health hazard,” Conway says of the tent city closures. “We’ve gotten a tremendous number of people off the streets. We’ve gotten them into conditions where they have a hot shower, a laundry and three meals a day and wraparound services.”

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offman has been working for MoNetwork since July 2018. Before that he worked in the restaurant industry. “My thing is, I had a really difficult time being in and out of recovery,” he says. A man drives up in a car, pauses, interrupting Hoffman. “You giving this stuff away?” the man asks. “Yeah,” Hoffman says. “I got Narcan, sandwiches, bottled water, that kind of stuff.” The man nods and drives off. Hoffman says he wants to take the MoNetwork van on more routes across north St. Louis. “At this point I feel there are a lot of resources that are available for people who are living in south St. Louis, and a lot of people north of Delmar don’t know about them,” he says. For his part, Hoffman says he began abusing opiates through prescription pills. “I was just a curious kid,” he says. “A lot of it was trauma-based. Opiates are a painkiller,” he adds. “And it’s not just a physical painkiller, but it kills all kinds of pain. It does its job, and it does it really well. And I was the typical white kid from the suburbs, with the story of prescription pills and other drugs and stuff like that.” Hoffman says he was really drunk the first time he tried heroin. “It wasn’t like anything had happened,” he says. “And so when I first used heroin intravenously I looked at my friend and I started laughing. ‘This is going to ruin my life.’ And I was joking at the time. But I was also 100 percent serious.” Tyrone, who says he’s been homeless for more than three years, credits MoNetwork with literally keeping him alive. “It’s hard to be homeless and sober,” he says. “If I had some place to stay, I can actually deal with my addiction. I try to work and hustle, but it’s hard.” Tyrone says he isn’t afraid of the coronavirus so much as he’s afraid of dying alone. “Being homeless and dying without nowhere to stay and nowhere to live with my kids,” he says. An hour has passed since the MoNetwork van glided to a stop in front of Russell Park. Now, with the backpacks and supplies nearly gone, Hoffman and Nagel start packing up and prepare to leave. For an hour, the van provides an island of decency and compassion in a place and time that

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“It’s hard to be homeless and sober. If I had some place to stay, I can actually deal with my addiction. I try to work and hustle, but it’s hard.” often seem as if they lack both. And being part of that means a lot according to Nagel, who used to work in the Madison County, Illinois, drug court. “To be able to have a connection because I’m in recovery myself and knowing what it was like out there,” she says. “That little bit of connection. And so many people who suffer from this disorder are ostracized, you know.” A back injury led her to become addicted to prescription pain pills, and then a painful journey into recovery brought her to MoNetwork as a volunteer. That led to her to working full time for the organization. Nagel says she sees reason for optimism, regardless of how long the pandemic lasts. “Because if we can live through something like this and muddle our way through and navigate it ourselves,” she says, “if it lasts for two or three years or even forever, we’re going to get used to that new normal. Because people that use drugs and people who are in recovery are super resourceful. And we’re very resilient, and we’re all able to adapt to crises.” She adds: “My life experience, my experience in active addiction, it has given me a purpose. And now I love to get up and go to work every day. And that sense of purpose is keeping me healthy and keeping me in recovery.” Hoffman slides behind the van’s wheel, and Nagel climbs into the seat next to him. They buckle their seatbelts. A moment later the MoNetwork van pulls away, en route to the MoNetwork headquarters in south city. There they will stock up, recharge and prepare for the next day’s stop, where their customers will greet them like a lifeline. n

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314.772.980 3153 MORGANFORD RD. ST LOUIS, MO 63116 Under new ownership, Three Monkeys has transformed into one of the best neighborhood restaurants & whiskey pubs in the area. With an ever-growing list of over 60 whiskeys, 16 craft beers on draft, specialty cocktail & an exciting new menu of gastro pub favorites - they have something for everyone. The menu is ample with offerings, including some of St. Louis’s best hand-tossed pizza, great shareable appetizers, burgers, vegetarian options, pasta, steaks & more. Embracing the price point of other south city pubs, Three Monkeys offers a great happy hour! Come enjoy $6 select appetizers, including the best fried Brussels sprouts in town, $5 Manhattans, Sazeracs & Old Fashions, as well as discounts on wine & craft beer. Sunday features one of the most extensive brunch buffets in the city, loaded with your favorite breakfast items, an omelet & pasta station, plus seafood, appetizers, desserts, & many other goodies. Located in Tower Grove South, it’s the perfect place to have dinner, share a pizza with family, or just belly up to the bar with your favorite drink.

The fast-fresh, made-to-order concept has been applied to everything from pizza to pasta in St. Louis, but the sushi burrito surprisingly had no Gateway City home until BLK MKT Eats opened near Saint Louis University last fall. It was worth the wait, though, because BLK MKT Eats combines bold flavors and convenience into a perfectly wrapped package that’s ideal for those in a rush. Cousins and co-owners Kati Fahrney and Ron Turigliatto offer a casual menu full of high-quality, all-natural ingredients that fit everything you love about sushi and burritos right in your hand. TheNOT SwedishYOUR Fish layers Scandinavian cured salmon, yuzu dillSPOT slaw, AVERAGE SUSHI Persian cucumbers and avocado for a fresh flavor explosion. Another favorite, the OG Fire, features your choice 9 SOUTH VANDEVENTER DINE-IN, TAKEOUT OR DELIVERY MON-SAT 11AM-9PM of spicy tuna or salmon alongside tempura crunch, masago, shallots, jalapeño and piquant namesake sauce; Persian cucumbers and avocado soothe your tongue from the sauce’s kick. All burrito rolls come with sticky rice wrapped in nori or can be made into poké bowls, and all items can be modified for vegetarians.

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Looking for the best seafood in St. Louis or the Midwest—don’t fret, Crawling Crab is now open! Here, we drizzle everything in garlic butter and then sprinkle on our magic dust! In a fun and casual atmosphere, you’ll enjoy fresh, hand-cleaned seafood ranging from lobster, shrimp, and of course crab legs. All platters come with corn sausage potatoes and Cajun boiled eggs and shrimp that won’t disappoint. For those pasta and veggie lovers out there, there is a spot for you here too! Enjoy our double dipped garlic butter rolls along side with your meal. And if you are still not stuffed, we have homemade dessert on the menu too! Have a big family coming in or an event coming up? Enjoy our family meal options and our beautiful seafood tables. As we continue to grow, we are excited to add new items to the menu, get creative with new recipes, and give back within the community. Join us on the first Tuesday of the month for $20 platter specials, and $5 appetizers on every Wild Wednesday! Open Tuesday thru Saturday 4pm-10pm, currently located in the 24:1 Coffee House Cafe.

314.310.3343 4168 JUNIATA STREET ST. LOUIS, MO 63116 What began in 2013 as a passion project in the founder’s kitchen has now grown into a retail and wholesale potsticker manufacturing facility located right in the heart of Tower Grove South. Crispy Edge believes that potstickers are the perfect vehicle to explore authentic global flavors from breakfast to dessert: handheld, wrapped in dough, and CRISPY! The restaurant features indoor and dog-friendly outdoor seating, private dining room, and a café lounge. The full bar and hot beverage program highlight local specialty coffee, cocktails, and beers. All products are made in-house and sourced from the finest ingredients. From Ordinary to Extraordinary - Crispy Edge is a global community for those who want something fun, tasty, social and exciting to eat.

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Housed in a retro service station, J. Smugs GastroPit serves up barbecue that can fuel anyone’s fire. Married teams of Joe and Kerri Smugala and John and Linda Smugala have brought charred goodness to the Hill neighborhood, nestled among the traditional Italian restaurants, sandwich shops and bakeries. Part of St. Louis’ ongoing barbecue boom, the J. Smugs’ pit menu is compact but done right. Ribs are the main attraction, made with a spicy dry rub and smoked to perfection. Pulled pork, brisket, turkey and chicken are also in the pit holding up well on their own, but squeeze bottles of six tasty sauces of varying style are nearby for extra punch. Delicious standard sides and salads are available, but plan on ordering an appetizer or two J. Smugs gives this course a twist with street corn and pulled-pork poutine. Several desserts are available, including cannoli – a tasty nod to the neighborhood. Happy hour from 4 to 7pm on weekdays showcases halfdollar BBQ tastes, discount drinks, and $6 craft beer flights to soothe any beer aficionado.

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314.888.8688 9616 OLIVE BLVD OLIVETTE, MO 63132 The Kickin’ Crab has joined the Crustacean Nation and is here to satisfy your taste sensation. The Kickin’ Crab is a fun-filled Cajun seafood destination where patrons come and escape into flavor paradise. Offering a distinct ambiance to enjoy the finest and freshest Cajun seafood around! Kickin’ Crab is a great place to hang out with friends, family, or both! No plates... no utensils! Just your hands, a bib, and our unique and absolutely irresistible KC sauces - a combination of spicy, sweet and tangy flavors - over freshly prepared seafood that will give your taste buds satisfaction unlike anything else you’ve ever tasted. Join us and partake in the festivities and quality of seafood that The Kickin’ Crab has to offer.

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Back on Track Mikey Carrasco of Taco Circus fights off the darkness of the coronavirus times Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

hen Mikey Carrasco details the summer plans he and owner Christian Ethridge had for Taco Circus (4940 Southwest Avenue, 314-899-0061), you can hear the disappointment in his voice. “We were supposed to have this huge patio season,” Carrasco says. “We were going to have all these slushy margarita machines; Christian is really into plants, so he turned the patio into this really cool place. We knew it was going to be a lot of work serving the crowds we were expecting, but we were ready to push through it. Then all this happened, and it was really disheartening. This is not about money or our livelihoods or careers — this is our thing. We aren’t one-trick ponies, but this was a really good trick. But it wasn’t a trick. We had a really great thing going on.” Since mid-March, Carrasco has been away from his job as Taco Circus’ kitchen manager, quarantining at home due to the COVID-19 pandemic. He admits that, at times, it’s been a tough slog. Not only has he had to watch the restaurant — and his industry as a whole — face unprecedented challenges, he’s also had to make the decision to temporarily step away from his job because of an underlying health condition. Diagnosed six years ago with multiple sclerosis, Carrasco stopped working several weeks before the restaurant closed down completely because he was concerned that his situation left him particularly vulnerable. Staying at home, away from the business he loves, hasn’t been easy. “For a little while, when all of

Taco Circus’ Mikey Carrasco gets through the darkness by learning to let go. | MONICA MILEUR

this started, I had so much anxiety,” Carrasco says. “I didn’t want to do anything and was lost in my own head. I had a lot of mental pain and was just really worried about the state of the world, so when I realized that somebody delivered booze, I started drinking.” Carrasco is upfront about the toll the drinking started to take on him. Though it served as a temporary salve for his angst, he found that the booze was making things worse, increasing his physical and mental discomfort. “Drinking was a bad idea, because it compounded everything physically and emotionally,” Carrasco explains. “It numbed me and felt like an off switch, but obviously it was a temporary one.” Fortunately, Carrasco realized that he was going down a dark path and was able to make the change he needed. He stopped drinking and began working out, taking care of himself, doing yoga and meditating. He is now in a good place. When he feels the anxiety creeping up, he combats it

by doing something good for himself that will help him in the long term, and that has helped make his stay-at-home situation more tolerable. He also feels that focusing on his health will help him when he gets back to work, which he is confident ill ha en sooner or later. Though it has been hard to be out of Taco Circus’ kitchen, he finds eace in kno ing that he s helped build a good crew and put systems in place that will keep the restaurant humming along in his absence. Still, he looks forward to the day when he can jump back on the line with his coworkers and feed a packed house — the thing he lives for. “I’m not worried about being left out or not being able to get back to it if things normalize,” Carrasco says. “I will always have the knowledge and expertise that will be valuable. I don’t worry about that. I’m just living day to day, seeing what happens and trying to make it. This whole thing has been a lesson in patience, adapta-

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tion and letting go.” Carrasco took some time to share his thoughts on what it’s like to be a hospitality professional during the pandemic, the routines he misses the most and how the kindness he sees is giving him hope. As a hospitality professional, what do people need to know about what you are going through? I live to serve and share my art in cooking, heritage and culture with the world. It really hurts to be benched and not be able to share my love, plate by plate. It’s really stressful to not know what the future holds for the profession I am in as a whole — watching as other restaurants and bars are seemingly shuttered for good over this. Seeing people in my profession struggle really hurts and causes me uncertainty. Much love goes out to Ryder’s Tavern. I love Ryder, and that place will be missed. What do you miss most about your job?

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MIKEY CARRASCO Continued from pg 23

It’s not just what I miss; it’s who I miss. First of all, I miss my mornings opening up the lines, checking over prep, inventory and planning out our day with Kevin White. He is an OG at Taco Circus like myself — a great friend and co-chef with me. We don’t always come to quick agreements on things, but that’s the way it goes when people have a passion for their jobs. I really miss my time in the mornings with Kevin. What do you miss least? I would say I miss the least any orders for the infamous Karen. What is one thing you make sure you do every day to maintain a sense of normalcy? I wasn’t aware I had maintained any sense of normalcy through this. Just kidding. I try to give myself a schedule, even at home, because it keeps me busy and on track towards something greater and keeps my mind from racing.

I think about my family in Texas, especially my daughter Kiara who is graduating high school this year and receiving a full ride to her favorite school, Texas A&M Galveston, to learn marine biology. Meditation and taking moments to feel empathy for others keeps my head on swivel. When it’s warm outside, I ride my bicycle. Also, I’ve learned how to make face masks, and I’m doing that as a hobby. What have you been stress-eating/drinking lately? I have stopped drinking alcohol to keep my immune system strong, because I have multiple sclerosis. Also, it exacerbates a lot of the natural feelings and other symptoms I get. I love socially drinking but needed to put it on pause at this moment. So, coffee. Lots of coffee. As far as eating goes, I stress eat Doritos. I eat Doritos when I’m happy. I eat Doritos when I’m sad. I eat Doritos when I’m indifferent. What are the three things you’ve made sure you don’t want to run out of, other than toilet paper? Rice, beans and masa to make tortillas.

You have to be quarantined with three people. Who would you pick? Martha Stewart, Bear Grylls and Chuck Norris. Once COVID-19 is no longer a threat and you are comfortable going back out and about, what’s the first thing you’ll do? First of all, I will be grateful for this to end. I want to travel back home and visit Austin, Texas, give my mother and the rest of my family a hug and eat tacos at 3 a.m. in my mom’s neighborhood, outside a food truck called Chilangos with her as my dining partner. As M.F.K. Fisher has taught me, picking the right dining partner is very important, and my favorite has, and probably always will be, my beautiful mother Elaine. What do you think the biggest change to the hospitality industry will be once people feel comfortable returning to normal activity levels? If things return to “normal,” I do not think it will change too much, although I hope this gives people a fresh new appreciation for food and the people that create, pre-

Feeding the Frontlines Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

bout six weeks ago — as the COVID-19 crisis threw his professional life into upheaval and called the fate of the entire restaurant industry into question — John Perkins had an idea. Why not figure out a way to keep his staff employed and busy by feeding area health care workers? That win-win idea launched the local, grassroots movement Meals for Meds, which grew from just two participants into a 27-restaurants-strong organization. For nearly two months, Perkins, who owns Juniper (4101 Laclede Avenue, 314-329-7696), and his co-organizer, Kirsten Brown of KNEAD Bakehouse (3467 Hampton Avenue 314-376-4361), have been managing the program while also trying to run their own restaurants. Now, they are getting some help through a partnership with the national organization Frontline Foods to carry on their mission as their businesses begin to reopen. “We didn’t realize how much work this would be — in some ways we managed to do it well; in others, we didn’t,” Perkins says. “It got overwhelming pretty quickly. Now that we are starting to reopen, we can’t do all this and run a restaurant at the same time. If we were getting massive corporate donations, we could hire someone. This partnership with Frontline

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Meals for Meds, now aligned with Frontline Foods, brings the comfort of good food to health care workers. | DAWN BOOTH is a partnership with [chef José Andres’] World Central Kitchen. We get visibility from that. Frontline was able to get 501(c)(3) status, so we can now pitch the program to big corporate donors.” Frontline Foods has a similar origin story to that of Meals for Meds. After organizers of an effort in San Francisco to feed health care workers realized that there were other restaurants doing similar work around the country, they came together to combine their work into a collective effort in order to expand their reach. This led to Frontline Foods linking up with Andres’ World Central Kitchen in order to get nonprofit status much quick-

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er than if they were to have applied to do so as their own independent entity. Frontline Foods works exactly the same way as Meals for Meds. Diners can give money directly to participating restaurants of their choice through Frontline Foods’ website (for now, diners can still use the Meals for Meds site, though the idea is for that to be phased out). That money goes to the restaurant of choice and is used to pay for their costs in providing food to health care workers. The partnership with Frontline Foods frees up Perkins and Brown from the daily management of getting funding to restaurants and food to hospitals. Now

pare and serve food and beverages, as well as industry people having a greater appreciation for the fact that we can serve people again and treating it as a sacred ritual. A lot of things are easy to take for granted, and this situation hopefully will change that for all. Back to the essence really. I hope. What is one thing that gives you hope during this crisis? I try to find ho e in this every day. Seeing the community band together and help each other through this — there are still a lot of great people in this world with a deep sense of care for others, and that really gives me faith in humanity. I would like to give a shout out to STL Adopt-A-Server for all that they have done. People helping people without any outsiders involved — this is something we must learn to do in an efficient ay so e do not have to rely so heavily on factors outside of our community. This is a much more sustainable lifestyle than everyone relying on the government. n

team leaders, the two are more like liaisons with the national organization. But it’s not just a logistical benefit for Perkins and Brown. As Perkins explains, many donors had been asking about things such as tax benefits, but because the group was just a collective of for-profit businesses, they could not offer such a benefit. Now, donors are eligible for that tax benefit. Additionally, the partnership benefits restaurants, because Frontline Foods can process donations much quicker. Participants are usually compensated for expenses by the next day. “The infrastructure they have allows us to do so much more than our Google Drive and shared documents,” Brown explains. “The amount of volunteers they have and their ability to teach people their technology on a national basis is very well supported.” As Perkins sees it, Meals for Meds’ partnership with Frontline Foods guarantees the initiative’s longevity by formalizing it and making it possible for it to grow, even as he and Brown’s ability to manage it diminishes. He feels that formalization is important because of the potential for a resurgence of the virus, or even the next global pandemic, whatever that will look like. “I expect next fall, winter, spring — God forbid — we will have round two,” Perkins says. “We’re planning for next season. If we have systems in place, we have four, five or six months to home in on how this works and build a funding mechanism. That will allow us to get some money banked so that when this comes back around, we can reactivate it.” n

MUSIC + CULTURE [CONCERTS]

Party in the Parking Lot Live music returns to St. Louis with drive-in concert and movie series Written by

DANIEL HILL

ast week, America got a glimpse into what the live music experience will look like for the foreseeable future as a venue in Arkansas hosted the nation s first “socially distant concert” featuring a performance by country-rock artist ravis c ready. uffice it to say, it is very different from what we’re all used to. A mid-sized venue operating at 20 percent capacity. Masks required for everyone in the building. Caution tape blocking off rows of seats. A limit on the number of people allowed in the bathroom at one time. All told, the look into music fans’ collective near-future was sobering. Across social media many expressed dismay, with some saying they’d rather opt out of seeing live music altogether until the restrictions were lifted. But even as people lamented the new normal, here in St. Louis, another version of the COVID-19 show-going experience was already in the works: drive-in concerts. For the past week, the parking lot of the closed St. Louis Outlet Mall (5555 St. Louis Mills Boulevard, Hazelwood) has played host to live music, as well as some movies, all for the enjoyment of attendees seated in their own cars and on lawn chairs in adjacent parking spaces. The lot has been transformed with a huge stage and five umbotron screens and music is pumped through an FM transmitter into the car stereos of all in attendance, as well as through a PA system on the stage. It’s part of a schedule of movie and music nights that will run through June 6. Local cover and tribute acts such as Superjam,

Could this be the future of live music in St. Louis? | VIA DRIVE IN ST. LOUIS Dance Floor Riot and Petty Cash Junction have been paired with sho ings of classic films such as Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Purple Rain and Dazed and Confused. The origins of the idea were simple enough. Dan Buck, managing partner for Big Sports Properties, which operates the burgeoning Powerplex youth sports facility in the former mall, was working with Paul Brown, senior marketing director with Brought2U Media, when the two had an idea. “We were looking at the big huge empty parking lot at this old mall and said, ‘What can we do with this space?’” Brown tells RFT. “We got plenty of social distancing opportunity here. So the thought was, ‘Let’s create a venue and see if we can have some high school graduations.’ That was the impetus.” Considering the huge number of graduates who missed out on their end-of-the-year experiences due to the coronavirus, it turned out to be a great idea, with many local schools hopping aboard. But with the huge and costly infrastructure in place — some $300,000 worth of equipment, according to Brown — the two began brainstorming other ways to make use of the space. “We’re hearing that in other parts of the country, they’re resurrecting drive-ins,” Brown says. “They’re using drive-in concert venues. In uro e I understand this has been kind of a big thing,

the drive-in concerts. So that’s how it all got started.” Naturally, there are safety measures in lace. very car gets t o parking spaces, Brown explains. Attendees have a space on the driver’s side of their car in which they can put down lawn chairs, coolers, blankets and whatever else they brought from home — including their own food and beer. The two spaces that each car gets are referred to as a “pod,” and guests are not permitted to leave their pods except to go to the restrooms and port-a-potties, which will be sanitized frequently. Brown says that they have security guards on site, but they don’t plan to be heavy-handed or call for police to make arrests, trusting instead that those in attendance will do the smart thing and distance themselves accordingly. “It’s just kinda common sense,” he says. “That’s one thing that I think we have been lacking in a lot of this stuff is common sense, and this is a common-sense way to do something that is fun, that is engaging, that helps support local musicians and that gets people out and off the couch.” One of the local musicians Brown hopes the concert series will help is blues artist Jeremiah Johnson, one of the sole acts on the schedule who deals in original music rather than covers. He is set to perform on June 6 as part of the

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last concert on the schedule. For Johnson, the decision to be involved was a no-brainer, and one that he believes will prove historic. “Right away I felt like it was something that I wanted to be a part of, because I think it’s a sign of the time of what’s going on — with social distancing and all the venues are forced to close down, and restaurants are closed, and you can’t have concerts,” Johnson says. “And I just felt like it was something that we needed — that if I could be a part of it, I thought it was a good idea. Because it might give some positive hope and we can show everybody that we can move forward and get past all this, you know?” Johnson himself has seen his livelihood as an up-and-coming musician badly affected by the shutdown of the live music industry. A rising star in the blues-rock scene, Johnson’s latest album, March’s Heavens to Betsy, rose to the No. 1 spot on Billboard’s blues chart in early April — a considerable accomplishment that came right as everything in the live music industry came crashing down. Johnson watched in dismay as his entire touring schedule simply vanished. “Oh man, I lost an entire foureek uro ean tour that as canceled,” he laments. “And every major festival is canceled. That would be national, nationwide.” On top of that, the regular bars and small venues where a working musician might perform in St. Louis were all forced to shut their doors too. ven as some of them reopen as St. Louis’ coronavirus restrictions are relaxed, they still are not playing host to live music. So naturally, when Johnson was offered the opportunity to play a gig — albeit one that’s remarkably different than those he’s used to — he jumped at the chance. He plans to bring cameras and shoot a video of the experience, which he intends to one day show to his young son. “I just wanna document this moment in history,” he says. “My son is eight months old, so all of this is ha ening in his first t elve months of his life. And I wanna be able show him, ‘Hey, son, when you were a little baby and you were just born, this is what was going on.’”

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AWARD-WINNING FLAVOR

BE ST IN S H OW

94 POI N TS

97 P OINTS

WHISKIES OF THE WORLD 2015

U LT I M A T E S P I R I T S C H A L L E N G E 2015

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PARKING LOT PARTIES Continued from pg 25

Asked how he thinks the drivein concert experience will compare to attending a show in a traditional venue, Johnson immediately identifies several u sides. “If somebody asked me if I wanted to go to a concert and I could park my own car out in front of the stage, and I could get out, bring my own cooler with my own drinks and my own snacks and food, and I’d have my own area where no one can be up on

my shoulders and bothering me, I would be like, ‘That’s the coolest thing ever he says. If you ould have asked me about something like that in 2019 I’d have thought, an that s a esome. Brown is hoping that showgoers agree. e says that as long as eople come out and behave themselves accordingly, and as long as the sho s are rofitable he and his team intend to continue throwing them beyond this initial run. If all goes ell he says those shows could even include some big national acts. “We wanna see how it goes in

the first eek. e ve had interest from major touring groups,” ro n says. ut at this oint before we know how this is gonna y e can t make the kind of investment it’s gonna take to bring in the big acts right no . o ho knows? We could be looking at a situation where we have some big layers that anna give this a try. I m ho ing that that ha ens. Regardless of whether the national acts come, Johnson is similarly o timistic. “There’s a whole lot to be sad about,” he says of the world’s current state of affairs, “but I’m hoping

this drive-in thing will get people out and remind them that hey, you know, we’re gonna get through this. If you feel uncomfortable let s try this first and let s get this rolling in the right direction. Drive In STL’s inaugural roster of shows and movies runs each night through May 30, as well as one on June 5. Jeremiah Johnson’s performance is slated for June 6. Passes for each car range between $40 and $70, with a six person per car limit. VIP options are also available. For the full schedule and more information, visit driveinstl.com.

[ A P O C A LY P S E S O U N D T R A C K ] [ K A - K AW ]

PANDE-MIX: AN END OF THE WORLD MIXTAPE

The Return of the BattleHawks? Written by

JUSTIN POOLE

ust when you thought football in St. Louis was dead in the water, Vince McMahon strikes again. The Athletic reported last week that sources from the XFL believe that McMahon has “covert” plans to buy back his own league from bankruptcy court. Adding to the intrigue, league president Jeffrey Pollack has reportedly reached out to stadiums in multiple markets — including St. Louis — to discuss the reinstatement of lease agreements. Amid controversy and chaos, two things WWE promoter and executive McMahon know well, the XFL shut down on April 10 and filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy three days later. The end of the league was a devastating blow for fans — especially in St. Louis, which had proven itself to have a voracious appetite for football since that toupee-wearing asshole Stan Kroenke took his ball (and with it, the Rams) and went home to LA. But many have speculated this was simply a financial ploy by McMahon to make it through the COVID-19 pandemic without paying the costs of operating a league with no means to make a profit. The XFL at its time of closure had some 400 employees, including some highly paid players, executives and name-brand coaches such as Bob Stoops of Dallas, who had signed a two-year, $2 million contract. Hope that the league may return first arose after news came out that just days before filing for bankruptcy, the league had been contacting new cities about relocating some of the teams that had been struggling to bring in fans. In St. Louis and Seattle this was a non-issue, and it’s from these two teams we’ve re-

BattleHawks fans may soon have reason to ka-kaw once more. | TRENTON ALMGREN-DAVIS ceived our latest glimmer. XFL president Pollack has reached out to the host venues of the Dragons and BattleHawks to discuss reinstating lease agreements, the Athletic reports. Though the XFL declined to comment, a representative for Visit St. Louis who oversees the Dome at America’s Center confirmed to the publication that Pollack contacted them about the lease. Honestly, it should come as no surprise. Did you really think McMahon would bow out so quietly amid the surprising success of his pet project’s relaunch? This was the plan from the start. Close the doors. Weather the storm. Relaunch when the time is right. Was it a cutthroat maneuver to sever ties with hundreds of employees in the face of a global pandemic? Most definitely, but remember, this is the man who made himself into the wrestling business’ biggest villain after screwing over Bret the Hitman Hart, one of the most loyal and hardworking professional wrestlers of all time, and then letting him walk to his rival company World Championship Wrestling — the very same company Vince and the WWE later ran out of business and purchased. Love him or hate him, Vince McMahon is a winner. The XFL was working. It will be back. Our BattleHawks will be back. Ka-kaw. n

BY CHRIS WARD Each week, former KDHX DJ Chris Ward examines a song from his quarantinebased playlist dealing with isolation, loneliness, hope and germs. This song and more can be found on his Spotify playlist: spoti.fi/2WZGTJZ

“Some Humans Ain’t Human” from Fair and Square (2005) by John Prine

ave you ever noticed, when you’re feeling really good, there’s always a pigeon, that’ll come shit on your hood.” John Prine is one of several heroes I added to my pandemic mixtape when they were first hospitalized. I, like the rest of the world, lost part of the light in my soul when he didn’t make it out. But like Warren Zevon, like Randy Newman, like David Bazan — like all of my favorite artists on the Mt. Rushmore of darkly comic songwriters about the human condition — Prine usually sang the sad truth with a spoonful of sugar. But, written in the George W. “There will never be a criminal president this bad again!” Bush era, this song does all that with an extra dose of gravelly world weariness that’s hard to believe the singing mailman was able to deliver back to us for twenty more progressively darker years after its release. And few of his political songs are as explicitly name-droppingly

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political as this one. (“Some cowboy from Texas starts his own war in Iraq” is your concert “WOO HOO!!” applause line delivered on a tray.) “Some humans ain’t human, some people ain’t kind,” he begins. Hang that in every reopened diner in the Midwest, as a reminder. “You open up their hearts, and here’s what you’ll find: a few frozen pizzas, some ice cubes with hair, a broken Popsicle … you don’t want to go there.” A perfectly Grinch-ian description of Republicans if I’ve ever heard it, if not an unfair assessment of frozen pizzas. Some little pink spoons from a forced-open Baskin Robbins, perhaps. “Jealousy and stupidity don’t equal harmony,” he concludes. In this, the stupidest time to be alive, it really is getting harder and harder to think of some people as human at all … or just as the sad, sentient comments-section MAGA parade of puppet-stringed dipshittery they reveal themselves to be daily. If those humans are still considered part of the club, I no longer want to be a member. n

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2020

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MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2020

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SAVAGE LOVE QUICKIES

fence — at a safe distance — with a neighbor he would be interested in dating if he were single.

BY DAN SAVAGE

Hey, Dan: For the past few months my GF and I have been in quarantined together. Except time we’ve spent working, we’re constantly in each other’s company and doing things together. It’s been great so far. It’s good to know that we won’t get tired of each other or feel smothered. The main problem is finding something to watch or something to do. Any suggestions? Quarantined Until

Hey, Dan: I don’t want to become one of those people who write to you complaining about how I married someone I wasn’t sexually compatible with ten years ago and now my sex life still sucks. I already know I need to break up with my boyfriend, and I was about to do it when he got sick with the flu. This was at the beginning of March. I assumed he’d be sick for a week and then we would have an unpleasant conversation. But then the entire country shut down and my boyfriend was officially diagnosed with COVID-19. So I haven’t seen him since the last weekend in February — Monday is Memorial Day, Dan, in case you’ve lost all concept of time — and I’ve been playing the role of the supportive and worried girlfriend from afar. But it’s been hard. Both my parents are in high-risk groups and my mental health has been battered. My boyfriend is finally getting better, and I don’t know what to do when I finally have to see him again. I’m not breaking up with him because he’s a bad person, and I don’t want to hurt him, but that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I feel guilty because I’m choosing my happiness over his. I know I shouldn’t, Dan, but I do. Feeling Resentful About Uncoupling Dilemma Pandemic or no pandemic, FRAUD, you can’t stay with someone forever — you can’t be miserable for the rest of your life — to spare that person the routine and surmountable pain of getting dumped. Not breaking up with your boyfriend while he was fighting I as the right thing to do of course and I don t for a minute question the sincerity of your concern for him. (You want to see the relationship end, FRAUD, not him.) But don’t wait until you see him again to break u ith him. It ll suck for him of course, but the world is full of people who got dumped and got over it. And the sooner he gets over you, the sooner he’ll meet someone else. For all you know, he’s been chatting over his backyard

I ve been reading The Mirror and the Light the final installment of Hilary Mantel’s epic account of the inner life of homas romell enry III s most o erful minister — the guy who arranged for the beheading of Anne Boleyn — while listening to whatever classical music my husband puts on. But just so you don’t think it s all a ard inning fiction and high art where we’re quarantining, we’ve also been watching 90 Day Fiancé, which is a complete (and completely engrossing) shit show, and The Simple Life with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, hich I missed hen it first ran. o obviously I ould suggest fiction, music, and crap television — and anal, of course. Hey, Dan: My problem is that I am seriously worried about missing out on life. I’m a man. I find men attractive, but I have no idea how to get to know one. For the first time last summer I met someone, and we were sexual with each other. He was a hockey player. But he is gone now. And when I try to be friendly with other men, I get called out for flirting. I am gay and don’t know how much hurt I can take. Making All These Connections Hard More than 80 percent of gay relationships got their start online before the andemic began and that number is surely higher now. So if you got on gay dating/ hooku a s instead of irting with random men, you would be talking to a self-selected group of men who are inviting other men to irt ith them. ou ll still face rejection, of course, and you’ll still get hurt. To live is to suffer, as some philosopher or other once

“I already know I need to break up with my boyfriend, and I was about to do it when he got sick.” said, but the suffering is easier to bear if you’re getting your dick sucked once in a while. Hey, Dan: I’m 34, non-binary but presenting female. Due to a series of personal tragedies (death, deportation, illness — it was not a top ten year), I’m sheltering with my parents. Long story short, I’m 100 percent financially dependent on my parents right now. The upside is, I’ve had a lot of time to become comfortable with the fact that I really, really want to mess around with cross-dressing. I would love to get a binder and a masc getup and haircut and just see how that feels. My parents will want to know “what this means” and they won’t take “fuck if I know” for an answer. It will be a long time (maybe years) before I’m either eligible for disability or ready to work again, and I just can’t wait that long. So much of my life has already passed me by and I’m tired of waiting for a “right time.” But binders and clothes and haircuts cost money. Keeping masc stuff around the house means people will eventually see it. Again, they’d probably be supportive, but I just want to keep this private. Is there a way to do it? Hoping For A Third Option ther than inning the lottery and moving out on your own tomorro there s no third option here. You’re going to have to pick your poison: risk having an awkward conversation with parents who are likely to be supportive or continue to wait — possibly for years — before you start exploring your gender presentation. The choice seems obvious to me. Hey, Dan: Got in an argument recently about pegging and its original definition: “a women fucking

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a man in the ass with strap-on dildo.” I feel it’s moved beyond that and now means anyone wearing a strap-on fucking anyone else in the ass. My friends insisted that only a man can be pegged, and only by a woman. As the originator of the term, Dan, we turn to you: Can a woman peg another woman? A New Ass Licker I

ill allo

it.

Hey, Dan: Are some people just bad at sex? My partner has been overwhelmed with work and our sex life suffered a major decline. He’s working with a psychotherapist who told him some people are just not good at sex and he should just accept that he’s one of those people. It broke my heart to know someone said that to my partner. Am I overreacting? Is there some way to take this as anything but wrong? Or is this therapist a clown? Completely Undermining Negative Therapy There are people out there who are “bad at sex” by objective measures. There has to be. But “good sex” is so sub ective that I m not convinced objective measures really matter. or e am le I got a letter yesterday from someone complaining their partner is “bad at sex” because they just lie there, silent and inert, while the letter writer “does all the work.” But if the person who just lies there was partnered with a necrophiliac, well, that “silent and inert” stuff would make them great at sex, not bad at sex, at least by a necrophiliac’s standards. As for your boyfriend you re in a better position to judge whether he’s good at sex — by your subjective standards — than his shrink. Presumably. And if you enjoyed the sex you were having before your partner was overwhelmed with work, then he’s good at sex — he’s good sex by your standards — and here’s hoping you get back to having lots of good sex together soon. Join us for the Savage Lovecast Livestream! June 4, 7:00 pm PDT. Send your questions to Livestream@savagelovecast.com and I might answer yours on the show. Tickets are at SavageLovecast.com/events mail@savagelove.net @FakeDanSavage on Twitter

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2020

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