Riverfront Times - December 21, 2016

DECEMBER 21–27, 2016 I VOLUME 40 I NUMBER 51

FOR THE

D GS

Pit bulls are banned in 86 municipalities in Missouri — but activists are fighting back.

BY JESSICA KARINS

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TABLE OF CONTENTS FEATURE

11.

For the Dogs

Pit bulls are banned in 86 municipalities in Missouri — but activists are fighting back

Written by

JESSICA KARINS

Cover by

SUSAN SCHMITZ

NEWS

CULTURE

DINING

MUSIC

5

17

25

35

The Lede

Calendar

Exit Stage Left

Your friend or neighbor, captured on camera

Seven days worth of great stuff to see and do

Cheryl Baehr can’t get away from Stage Left Diner fast enough

8

22

28

Slide Insults Public School Parents

Danny Wicentowski reports on a presentation by a St. Louis alderman that has some city residents fuming

Film

Robert Hunt reviews Jackie, a smart new film that looks at Jacqueline Kennedy in the wake of her husband’s murder

Side Dish

Chris Vomund of Herbie’s owes it all to Buffalo Wild Wings

30

First Look

Pieces STL will be St. Louis’ first board game cafe

8

Banning the Vote

32

A Missouri prosecutor vies to stop citizens from even voting on the legality of medical marijuana

Memoriam

Cafe Natasha, and Cheryl Baehr, say goodbye to Behshid Bahrami

In the Loop

Harry Hall reports on Looprat, a University City-based band combining jazz and hip-hop

38

B-Sides

Music Record Shop accelerates its moving plans after a smashand-grab in Grand Center

40

Homespun

Peter Martin & the 442s Home for Christmas

42

Out Every Night

The best concerts in St. Louis every night of the week

44

This Just In

This week’s new concert announcements

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NEWS

Slide Insults Public School Parents

Pot Vote Would Be Illegal, Prosecutor Says

I

Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

O

n December 12, before a crowd in the Schlafly branch library, 1 7 t h Wa r d Alderman Joe Roddy flipped through a slideshow that laid out the case for giving tax incentives to a $130 million 34-story apartment building proposed for the Central West End. To make his point, Roddy flipped to a slide that explained the basic dynamics of city financing.

The slide was titled “How the City Makes & Spends Money.”

At the top it listed businesses that pay various city taxes — “MAKE MONEY” in the slide’s parlance. At the bottom, reserved for things that empty the city’s coffers — “SPEND MONEY” — it listed “Criminals and residents with children in public school.”

The lumping of criminals and public school families irked Andrew Arkills, the president of Tower Grove South Neighborhood Association. A data analyst by trade who is deeply skeptical of tax incentive packages, Arkills attended the meeting hoping to learn more about the proposed luxury tower. But the slide gnawed at him.

“It was offensive to boil down what makes up a valuable and stable community to what makes revenue and what doesn’t,” says Arkills. “It was deeply frustrating to hear someone who has been in office for 28 years say that.”

He concedes it wasn’t techni-

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Alderman Joe Roddy says his slide was “misconstrued.” | COURTESY OF KENNARD WILLIAMS cally inaccurate — indeed, schools and law enforcement are services that require gobs of city money — but the shorthand amounted to tasteless simplification, one that appeared to elevate businesses and malign parents and public school students.

Roddy’s slide also drew the ire of 22nd Ward Alderman Jeffrey Boyd, who tweeted Tuesday that the slide was “poorly written” and understandably offensive.

But Roddy brushes off criticism of the slide as the grumblings of uninformed rabble-rousers who are hell-bent on opposing tax incentives as a matter of principle.

“They want to go ahead and misconstrue,” says Roddy, noting that his own children attend public school and his wife is a public school teacher. He maintains that the “How the City Makes & Spends Money” slide merely demonstrated the balance between a city’s revenue and expenses. And lumping criminals and public schools in a single red block also conveyed the serious consequences of handling the city’s finances.

“You can either spend money on kids and educate them, or you can spend money when

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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“It was offensive to boil down what makes up a valuable and stable community to what makes revenue and what doesn’t.” they become criminals later on,” Roddy says. “It was intended to show the weight of the decision that’s before us.”

Yet progressive activists like Arkills view tax abatements like the one being offered to the tower’s developer as evidence of a broken municipal strategy, one that funnels money to areas that are already thriving, leaving the rest of the city to pay the bills.

Under the deal negotiated by Continued on pg 9

n the wake of the surprising failure of a medical marijuana initiative to make the 2016 Missouri ballot, a state prosecutor is now trying to prevent any future attempts to legalize weed via public vote.

The cannabis legalization group New Approach Missouri is targeting 2018 to legalize marijuana in the state, hoping to place a constitutional amendment on the state ballot. Other activists have the same idea, and presently more than a dozen pot initiatives have been submitted to Missouri Secretary of State Jason Kander for certification for the 2018 election cycle.

But in a lawsuit filed this month, Cole County Prosecuting Attorney Mark Richardson argued that Kander needs to toss those initiatives in the trash.

“The Missouri Constitution is explicitly subject to the Constitution of the United States,” the lawsuit states.

And since the federal government still considers marijuana a Schedule I drug lacking “any accepted medical use,” Richardson’s lawsuit asks a judge to declare these state-level marijuana legalization initiatives unconstitutional.

Prosecutors fighting any loosening of marijuana laws — even for medical purposes — are nothing new. But Richardson’s preemptive strike against a statewide vote appears to be.

“This is the first I’ve heard of prosecutors trying to keep something off of the ballot,” says Washington University law professor Peter Joy. Joy says there may be legal cover for what Richardson is doing, but that doesn’t make it right.

“Prosecutors are elected and given a certain amount of discretion, and I think this is within the bounds of what they’re permitted to do,” he says. “The question is whether this is something they really should be doing. It’s interesting that prosecutors have decided to basically silence the public on this issue.”

If a judge sides with Richardson, the decision could deal a harsh blow to future legalization efforts in Missouri.

Absent a vote of the people, it’s hard to see Missouri following the other states steadily turning green. The state legislature is dominated by conservatives.

Aside from an extremely limited measure allowing Continued on pg 9

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POT VOTE Continued from pg 8 access to hemp oil for children with untreatable forms of epilepsy, lawmakers have so far rejected attempts at broad legalization measures, even for medical use.

And even if the legislature did pass a bill to legalize weed, it appears likely state prosecutors would pounce on the same constitutional issue raised in Richardson’s lawsuit, taking legal action to stop it from becoming law.

Earlier this year, a dozen Missouri prosecutors — including Jennifer Joyce of St. Louis city, Bob McCulloch of St. Louis County and Jean Peters-Baker of Jackson County — submitted an affidavit claiming that marijuana addiction “destroys children’s lives.” Just last month, the Missouri Association of Prosecuting Attorneys unsuccessfully lobbied the Missouri Association of Counties to pass a resolution opposing “any legislative efforts” to legalize or decriminalize weed in Missouri.

Richardson, who is the incoming president of the Missouri Association of Prosecuting Attorneys, did not return a message left with his office.

Richardson’s lawsuit drew immediate condemnation from New Approach Missouri political director John Payne, who called the attempt to kill marijuana initiatives before they are certified a “frivolous” effort that “flies in the face of overwhelming precedent.”

“Furthermore, as an attorney, Richardson almost certainly knows this and is wasting tax dollars and the court’s time in an effort to stall the initiative process,” Payne said.

It’s unclear how the lawsuit will affect the certification process for the proposed initiatives, if at all. Secretary of State Jason Kander is on the record supporting medical marijuana legislation, but a spokeswoman for the office tells Riverfront Times that it’s important the initiative certification process remain impartial.

“Our office does not assess the constitutionality or substance of any petition when processing them,” spokeswoman Stephanie Fleming in an email responding to our questions about Richardson’s lawsuit. “We will continue to provide the same objective review to all petitions received by our office.”

In a poll conducted this past summer by Public Policy Polling, 62 percent of Missourians said they would vote yes on a ballot issue to legalize marijuana for medical purposes. Between signature gathering problems and proactive blocks like the one Richardson is attempting, the question is whether they’ll ever get the chance.

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The developers of a 34-story residential tower slated for the Central West End are seeking fifteen years of reduced property taxes. | RENDERING BY STUDIO GANG

INSULTING SLIDE Continued from pg 8 Roddy and city development officials, the proposed apartment tower — named One Hundred — will receive a percent tax abatement for ten years and 0 percent tax abatement for another five years. The subsidy would knock out about eight percent of the pro ect’s cost, reports the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

But the Central West End is already the ewel of the city’s central corridor — does a developer really need fifteen years of low taxes in order to rent luxury apartments at an estimated $3 per square foot a pop “This is going on one of the most valuable properties in the city,” says 1 th Ward Alderwoman Megan Green. She criticizes the pro ect for not including an affordable housing component, and she believes the tower could be built without tax abatements.

reen said she’s heard concerns about Roddy’s presentation.

“Many people I represent send their kids to public school, and they do not want to be viewed as a drain on the city,” she says.

Roddy says the tower pro ect will target tenants who are young professionals without children.

Attracting that demographic to the city is crucial, he says, and after the tax abatement ends, the revenue windfall for the city will be significant. Arkills and reen, however, would argue that the research on the results of St. ouis’ tax incentives don’t back up those rosy predictions.

One day later, the tax abatement for the CWE apartment tower pro ect came before the and Clearance for Redevelopment Authority. After little discussion, the board voted to support the tax abatement, though the incentive still needs final city approval.

The tower pro ect is expected to be completed by 201 . n riverfronttimes.com

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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11/2/16 2:43 PM

FOR THE

D GS souri Pit bulls are banned in 86 municipalities in Mis — but activists are fighting back.

BY JESSICA KARINS

I

n 2011, Nicole Bray thought she had found a treatment that might help her five-year-old son with his ADHD — a therapy dog. Her family adopted a boxer/mastiff mix named Gotti, and the two bonded immediately. He quickly became, Bray says, her son’s best friend.

But despite Bray’s hopes, otti would only stay with the family for about two weeks. That’s because Bray lives in lorissant, which is one of many cities in Missouri with a total ban on pit bulls.

Bray’s dog wasn’t even a pit bull. But someone had reported to Animal Control that he looked like one, and three Animal Control officers showed up at Bray’s home to to inform her that if she couldn’t find a new home for him in seven days, he would be sei ed by the city and euthani ed. Bray says they were “complete bullies,” uninterested in her argument about Gotti’s lineage.

“They said that I had the choice if I wanted to get a DNA test, but it would cost $ 00,” Bray says.

She found a new home for the dog instead.

Her son, she says, was heartbroken.

“It traumati ed him,” Bray says. “He ended up going back into therapy because of it.”

While Bray’s dog drew the city’s attention after ust two weeks, Mandi Kay Sullivan lived in lorissant for a year before authorities noticed her dog. Dexter is an American bulldog mix, also often considered a “pit bull type.”

Sullivan, a former dog trainer whose husband is a veterinary technician, thought lorissant’s laws, like many other cities, merely required that her dog be licensed and microchipped.

“I didn’t think anything of it, until one day we got the letter,” Sullivan says.

Animal Control informed her that Dexter fell under the pit bull ban. He, too, was threatened with euthanasia.

Rather than have him killed, Sullivan found a home for him with her -year-old grandmother. The city’s heavy-handed tactics still rankle her.

“He doesn’t roam, he’s never bit anyone, no one knows he’s even there unless they see me walking him,” Sullivan says. “I feel that it’s incredibly unfair to punish him and to punish our family.” lorissant’s ordinance has been in effect since 2010. It formally applies to three breeds of dogs generally considered “pit bulls” — the American Staffordshire terrier, the Staffordshire bull terrier or the American pit bull terrier — as well as any mixed breed dog with any of the three as “an element of its breeding.” It also applies to any dog with “the appearance and characteristics” of a pit bull — and unless the owner pays for a DNA test, lorissant Animal Control generally relies on the opinion of whoever reports a dog as problematic.

Not all of those owners who’ve found themselves on the city’s radar can find a new home for their dogs in a week. While lorissant recently started allowing shelters to pick up the dogs they confiscate, the city has euthani ed 201 dogs since its ban went into law.

Bray and Sullivan’s experiences led both of them to get involved with the lorissant Bully Alliance, the local group that hopes to end lorissant’s pit bull ban and the do ens of others like it in Missouri. The local ordinances are collectively known as “breed specific legislation.”

While there have been a handful of successes — Buckner, Missouri, repealed its ordinance last year — activists have been met with defeat both at the local and state level. Even as a riverfronttimes.com

phalanx of heavy hitters has come out in opposition to pit bull bans, including the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals ASPCA and the American eterinary Medical Association, the laws have stayed on the books. ast year, a bill that would have repealed all breed-specific laws in Missouri was shot down in the Senate. And in lorissant, a deadlocked city council has refused for years to put a repeal of its ordinance to a vote.

Residents like Sullivan say they still have hope.

“They’re supposed to listen to the constituents,” Sullivan says, “and we hope they’ll listen to the people.”

Regulation of dog ownership in America goes all the way back to 18 , when federal courts first found that it was constitutional to require owners to license their dogs. The court case behind the legal precedent, Sentell vs. New Orleans and Carrollton Railroad Company, is still relevant today It found that dogs, because of their “hereditary wolfish instincts,” are dangerous. “ egislation of a drastic nature is necessary to protect persons and property from destruction and annoyance,” the decision read. “Such legislation is clearly within the police power of the state. It ordinarily takes the form of a license tax, and the identification of the dog by a collar and tag, upon which the name of the owner is sometimes required to be engraved, but other remedies are not uncommon.”

At that point, though, licensing was the main remedy. It wasn’t until nearly a century later, in the early 1 80s, that breed-specific legislation, or BS , entered the scene, effectively banning certain dog breeds.

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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rom the beginning, the laws targeted pit bulls. Pits remain the main focus of such ordinances to this day, although some laws also apply to other breeds, most often dobermans and rottweilers.

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact cause of the legislative trend in a legal article on the efficacy of breed-specific legislation, lawyer inda Weiss argues it was as simple as increased public attention to a number of dog bite cases, several of them involving pit bulls.

“In the early 1 80s, a number of fatalities and serious injuries caused by certain breeds, including pit bull dogs, brought to the public’s attention a perceived need for more stringent laws governing restraint of dogs,” Weiss wrote.

Mandy Ryan, the founder of the pro-pit organi ation Stop BSL Missouri, thinks pit bulls have an image problem owing to their owners more than their own behavior. In the 80s, she says, the dogs became associated with dogfighting, gang members and drug dealers.

“People started banning them because they didn’t want dogfighting in their cities,” she says. She finds that wrongheaded “Really, they’re awesome family dogs.”

The movement to ban pits only gained steam, however.

More than 00 urisdictions in 42 states and the District of Columbia now have some version of a breed ban or breedbased regulations fifteen of those have been challenged and upheld in appellate courts.

Missouri lawmakers are more partial to breed-specific legislation than most a total of 8 urisdictions in the state have some form of restriction, and all of them include, or are exclusive to, pit bulls, according to the proBS website DogsBite.org. Some of these laws simply declare the breed “dangerous” or “vicious.”

Others require special licensing for pit bull owners, mandatory sterili ation or microchipping.

Earlier this year, a bill was introduced in the Missouri legislature that would have effectively banned the bans, forbidding local jurisdictions from enforcing breed-specific legislation. HB 1811 was

Former state Rep. Ron Hicks (R-O’Fallon) cohabitates with

championed by members of the anti-BS lorissant Bully Alliance and its statewide sister group, Stop BSL Missouri.

Activists hired lawyers and spent hundreds of hours lobbying. But while HB 1811 passed the House easily, it never made it out of committee in the Senate.

That’s thanks to Senator Brian Mun linger R- Williamstown , who retired from the legislature in 201 due to term limits. He simply refused to schedule the legislation for a vote, which was enough to destroy its chances. Mun linger declined to comment on the bill.

Ry a n s ay s t h e s e n a t o r offered her the justification that in his opinion, breedspecific legislation is already technically illegal in Missouri, thanks to a statute forbidding the state to “enact any ordinance or promulgate or issue any regulation, rule, policy, guideline or proclamation describing the relationship between persons and domestic animals as other than persons may or can own domestic animals.” That was cold comfort to Ryan, though, since it did nothing to stop the

bitates with a boxer, another dog often considered aggressive. | COURTESY OF RON HICKS

“We’re not doing this because of the dogs. We don’t want those kind of people moving into Florissant.” bans on the books in Missouri municipalities from continued enforcement.

The bill’s sponsor, then-Representative Ron Hicks R-O’ allon , agrees that the bill died in Munlinger’s office.

“I had everyone on the House side voting for that bill, and all of a sudden it died in the Senate,” says Hicks.

Hicks owns a boxer, another dog breed that is often considered aggressive, and says he is tired of the stereotype that some breeds are inherently more aggressive than others. Enforcement, he says, should be targeted at irresponsible owners, not dogs.

Mandy Ryan’s pit bull is named Xena. | COURTESY OF MANDY RYAN “The more and more people are educated, and the more and more pit bulls that are around, you’re going to see less and less aggression,” he says.

Hicks says he sees several reasons to stop breed-specific bans like lorissant’s. or one, they can be a waste of money lorissant has spent $ , 8.20 euthani ing pit bulls since 2011, according to public records obtained by Ryan’s group. or another, it’s difficult for city workers to tell if a dog is a pit bull at all.

Dan Kolde, a lawyer on retainer for Stop BSL Missouri, says this is because pit bulls simply aren’t a cohesive breed. The laws often target dogs based on appearance, but Kolde says this is as unconstitutional as a police officer giving you a ticket based on his feeling that you appear to be speeding.

To the American Kennel Club, a “pit bull” is merely the popular term for the American Staffordshire terrier, the American descendants of dogs bred in 1 th century England to bait bulls. Nothing in its description suggests violence “The Am Staff is a people-oriented dog that thrives when he is made part of the family and given a ob

to do. Regular exercise and training are necessary. They are natural clowns, so they tend to make training comical at times they like to put a little twist on your training program.”

But unlike the AKC’s designation, BS laws generally rely on visual information only. Similar-looking breeds like bulldogs or boxers might not be named in the laws, but owners have to rely on the hope that their neighbors won’t decide their dog “looks like a pit.”

“There is no such breed as a pit bull, and what does look like’ mean ” Kolde says. “You can’t follow a law like that. rom a legal standpoint, what does that even mean?”

Hicks agrees during the Missouri House hearing on HB 1811, he showed his colleagues pictures of various similar-looking breeds and asked them to identify which ones were pit bulls.

“Ninety-five percent of the people were wrong, and the other five said they guessed and got lucky,” he says.

That leaves pit bull owners to face an uneven enforcement of laws and no presumption of innocence, Kolde says if your dog is thought to look like a pit bull, the riverfronttimes.com

assumption is that it is one, and that the ban has been violated.

“The government has ust kind of been coming in and bullying people,” Kolde says. edy ankavage, an attorney who helped advocate for HB 1811 on behalf of Best riends Animal Society, believes that pit bull bans are an infringement on property rights. And while she calls the often faulty visual identification of pit bulls “canine profiling,” she says there’s another type of profiling at work too race- and class-based hostility toward the dogs’ owners.

“It’s oftentimes the other end of the leash,” ankavage says. She believes many of the communities passing pit breed-specific legislation are doing so because they see pit bull owners as predominantly poor and black.

In 2010, when lorissant’s pit bull ban was first signed into law, ankavage testified against it to the city council. The city’s former mayor, who is now deceased, tracked her down afterwards to make it clear that while he understood her point, that wasn’t what the law was really about, she says.

“We’re not doing this because of the dogs,” he told her. “We don’t want those kind of people moving into lorissant.”

Mandy Ryan’s path to pro-pit activism began when she was working as an animal control officer in Columbia, Missouri.

There, she says, she saw vicious dogs of every breed, and the trauma that could be caused by dog attacks.

But she also saw something else when she and her colleagues visited jurisdictions that had implemented breed-specific legislation dogs that were not violent, being taken from loving owners to be rehomed or euthani ed.

It was hard to watch, and seemed like a waste of money and of her and her colleagues’ time.

“I ust saw how many issues those cities have,” she says. “They cause more issues than they prevent.” rustrated, she created the Stop BS Missouri acebook page mostly as a discussion group for workers in similar situations, enforcing laws they didn’t agree with.

“It ust kind of blew up from there,” Ryan says.

Ryan’s acebook page started receiving messages from people who were losing their dogs due to local BS laws and didn’t know how to

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

Continued on pg 14

RIVERFRONT TIMES

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PIT BULLS Continued from pg 13

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fight back. Ryan helped residents set up local organi ations, with the lorissant Bully Alliance becoming one of the most active. rom those humble beginnings, Ryan’s organi ation has became a social media hub for pit bull owners, a resource for those dealing with bans in their communities and, eventually, the leading anti-BS advocates in Missouri, lobbying governments on the state and local level.

What Ryan saw in her work has been echoed by many organi ations and experts that study dogs and their behavior, including the National Animal Care and Control Association, which represents workers with obs like Ryan’s old one for the county.

Many experts believe that breed bans simply aren’t an effective way to counteract aggression or reduce dog bites. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, for example, has said that breed-specific legislation isn’t an effective way to reduce dog bites, and has stopped tracking dog bite instances by breed.

“I’ve never personally met someone who works in the animal field who supports BS ,” Ryan says.

Ryan’s efforts drew a host of activists even Ryan’s own mother got involved. Karen Runk says she first became interested in the issue when she adopted a pit mix from Springfield, who would otherwise have been euthani ed due to the city’s pit bull ban.

“I personally don’t think any dog should be put down if it hasn’t done anything wrong,” she says.

Runk is one of several activists who frequently attend lorissant city council meetings, lobbying the council’s nine members to repeal the ban. The members are still divided Runk thinks three members would vote to repeal and four never will. The last two she’s still not sure about.

Although they haven’t been able to force a vote yet, Runk still thinks the group’s work has been effective.

“In the beginning, I didn’t think they were going to do anything about it, and now they’re talking about it,” Runk says.

Ryan says the organi ation has even changed the mind of lorissant’s mayor, Tom Schneider. Initially a supporter of breed specific legislation, he recently helped the Bully Alliance meet one of its goals by allowing pit bulls in the custody of lorissant’s animal control department to be adopted out instead of euthani ed. Schneider did not return two calls seeking comment members of the lorissant city council also did not respond to requests to talk.

Keith English, the Democrat who is lorissant’s newly elected representative in the Missouri statehouse, also opposes breed-specific legislation. He attempted to change lorissant’s law in the city council when he was a member, and is now considering reintroducing a new version of HB 1811.

He says it could easily pass the house again.

“I do believe we’ll see something in writing in Jefferson City,” English says.

Mostly, though, the opponents Ryan encounters aren’t open to changing their minds. She understands that a bad encounter with a particular breed can leave a lasting, traumatic impression, but says many people who support BS simply don’t know anything about dogs.

“It’s fear,” she says. “ ear of the breed or fear of change.”

“I personally don’t think any dog should be put down if it hasn’t done anything wrong.”

For all of the consensus against breed-specific bans, it’s an undeniable fact that dogs bite, and sometimes kill. And that is also true of pit bulls — even pit bulls who weren’t abused in their youth.

St. ouis native Adonis Reddick, who was profiled in the RFT in June, was beloved locally as a disability rights activist. He’d

helped a friend and roommate care for her pit bull, Milow, since the dog was a puppy, and he kept Milow after she moved out.

As the RFT reported, Reddick’s daughter, Danielle, had her concerns about Milow, who “ ust went cra y” after he spotted her infant daughter. But Reddick didn’t want to turn the dog over to a shelter where he might be euthani ed.

On May 11, Reddick’s father and brother found Reddick in a pool of blood and Milow barking, teeth bared. Reddick’s family called 11.

The police officers who responded shot the dog and later confirmed Milow had killed his guardian.

“All we know is the dog got at him, and we don’t know why,” Aaron Reddick, Adonis’ father, told the RFT. “We’ll probably never know.”

Stories like Reddick’s resonate, and the Internet offers do ens more examples. These stories often shape public policy. In June, Christiane adnais was killed by a dog that may or may not have been a pit bull in Montreal, Canada.

After a long court battle, the pit bull ban introduced in the immediate aftermath of adnais’ death went into effect in the Canadian city on December 1.

In the comments section of any story relating to pit bulls, you can find the two factions battling it out the pro-pit bull side is fiercely defensive, often testifying emotionally to the safety and sweetness of their pets, while the anti-pit bull group retaliates with anecdotes of the dogs’ violence, excoriating anyone who defends them or would allow a child to be around them.

Many online debates have a few of the same recurring characters.

There’s Jeff Borchardt, the leader of the somewhat hysterical acebook group “Against the Pit Bull Propaganda Machine.” There’s Merritt Clifton, a longtime blogger and purveyor of misleading statistics about the danger of pit bulls.

Then there’s Colleen ynn, the closest thing the nebulous anti-pit bull movement has to a leader. ynn operates DogsBite.org, which (unlike many of the other sites on the topic is well-organi ed and professional she’s a web designer by training. She was attacked by a pit bull while on a morning og, a frightening episode that made her an activist.

Describing the attack on her website, ynn recalled the horror in a vivid present tense account. “I am terrified of releasing my hand that is covering the wound. I fear

Toellner believes that sites like DogsBite.org are full of “errors of omission” — the omission being the professional consensus against breed bans. And that helps elected officials believe that the issue isn’t settled.

“These debates are pretty onesided when it comes to the information that’s out there,” Toellner says. “It’s pretty overwhelming.”

Florissant threatened to euthanize Mandi Kay Sullivan’s dog Dexter. | COURTESY OF MANDI KAY SULLIVAN that I will see bones and ligaments popping out,” ynn wrote. “Worse, I fear that the ON Y thing that is keeping my right forearm connected to my body is my left hand.

To let go would force me to see that the dog had actually bitten my arm into two pieces.”

DogsBite chronicles hundreds of dog attacks, many of them fatal. It also rigorously documents laws on the state, county and local level that govern dog ownership, offers tips on avoiding dog attacks, counters “pit bull myths” and hosts a blog that covers what ynn sees as the failure from animal rights activists to consider the experiences of dog bite victims. There are no reliable statistics on how many pit bull attacks occur in the United States, or how many of them are fatal, but ynn makes a valiant effort to track down each one that makes the news.

“We all miss the person we were prior to the attack,” ynn wrote.

“The trauma of a violent dog attack, along with the subsequent minimiation of it by social forces, forever removes parts of a person. These missing parts are often aspects of an individual’s identity and trust systems. The process of rebuilding

them takes time. our years later, I think I am about half way there.”

The site directs readers to the donation funds of many victims of severe dog attacks, but it also offers a degree of disdain for owners whose dogs attack them or their children.

“No information was provided about where the mother located the dog — on Craigslist, acebook or a rescue dog forum board?” the DogsBite blog asks scornfully about the mother of a four-year-old girl who was killed by a recently adopted doberman. (Lynn said she would not have time for an interview with the RFT. Brent Toellner, an animal rescue worker and blogger who frequently takes on anti-pit bull tropes on his website, KC Dog Blog, says the arguments can be fierce. “There can be a lot of unk that gets spewed online. Online comments sections are like that.”

Toellner started doing research on pit bulls when he was considering adopting one twelve years ago.

He did, and then did even more research when Kansas City, where he lives, was considering a breed ban.

The ban didn’t pass, but Toellner used his new knowledge to begin talking about pit bull issues. riverfronttimes.com

Mandy Kay Sullivan, whose pit bull currently lives with her grandmother, won’t make the same mistake twice.

She’s planning on moving out of lorissant soon, and this time, she says she will do the research and make sure wherever she lives doesn’t have breed-specific legislation.

“I will not move somewhere where I can’t have my dog,” Sullivan says.

But Sullivan and activists like her still have hope that ordinances like lorissant’s may someday seem as antiquated as laws against swearing, or interracial marriage.

Stop BSL Missouri is still looking for a member of the state legislature that would be willing to sponsor a new version of HB 1811.

Then they’ll gear up for another round of legal arguments, personal testimony and lobbying. Ron Hicks, the former state rep from O’ allon, says he believes the bill could easily pass the House again.

“We ust need to get it to a vote in the Senate,” Mandy Ryan says.

The fight in lorissant is continuing, too.

In 201 , a mailer will go out to the city’s residents asking again for their opinion on the pit bull ban.

Ryan hopes that it will be followed by a public vote to repeal the ban.

“It costs like $10,000 to put it on the ballot, so we were like, OK, you’re the city,’” she says. “ You can put it on the ballot.’”

While she knows some members of the city council don’t want a public vote on the issue, she hopes the public opposition will eventually become impossible to ignore.

Brent Toellner also believes things are getting better for propit bull activists.

In recent years, he says, DNA testing of dogs and behavioral science have advanced to the point where breed bans will become more and more difficult to enforce.

Cities are now more likely to repeal a breed ban than to pass a new one.

“There were a lot more people going through a similar situation in 200 than there are now,” he says.

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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CALENDAR

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WEEK OF DECEMBER 22-28

It’s the film that launched a thousand tongues -- A Christmas Story.

BY PAUL FRISWOLD

THURSDAY 12/22 Christmas Candlelight Concert The Bach Society of Saint Louis’ annual Christmas gift to the city is its Christmas Candlelight Concert, a tradition started in 1951. This yearly event sees the group enter a darkened Powell Hall (718 North Grand Boulevard; www.bachsociety.org) singing while carrying lit candles. It’s a solemn and beautiful experience that celebrates the season and the joy that comes from voices raised on high. Classical music magazine BBC Music recently

rated the concert one of the top twenty Christmas events in North America don’t let it pass you by.

The main event this year is John Rutter’s Latin American-tinged Magnificat, with soprano Emily Birsan performing as the featured soloist. The St. Louis Children’s Chorus joins forces with the Bach Society to sing carols and provide a few other festive surprise. The Christmas Candlelight Concert takes place at 7:30 p.m. tonight at Powell Hall. Tickets are $30 to $75.

A Christmas Story Bob Clark’s classic film A Christmas Story gets a 24-hour marathon on Christmas Day courtesy of one of the cable channels, but it’s

chopped up by commercials. Come see it unsullied by the crass commercialism of the season in a bar Jean Shepherd, whose book In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, is the inspiration for the film, would appreciate it. He was a guy who liked beer and salami in equal measure, and since he’s the guy who’s narrating the film, so why not order a beer while you’re there and hoist it in his memory? Relive Ralphie’s quest for a very specific model of BB gun, remember every great gift you ever received, and then spare a thought for all those kids anticipating Christmas morning right now.

Culture Shock presents A Christmas Story tonight at p.m. at Schlafly Bottleworks (7260 Southwest Boulevard, Maplewood; www.afilmseries.com). Tickets are $6. riverfronttimes.com

FRIDAY 12/23 Compton Heights Concert Band Holiday Pops Spectacular For 40 summers the Compton Heights Concert Band has been rocking Tower Grove Park with Sousa marches and Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture, complete with cannon blasts. But the band also performs one show every winter: its Holiday Pops Spectacular. Joined by special guests Hugh K. Smith (tenor) and St. Louis’ own Gina

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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CRAFTCENTRAL

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Galati (soprano), the band performs a family-friendly program of Christmas carols and sacred classics. The big finish is the best bit of Handel’s Messiah, the Hallelujah Chorus, with all hands on deck and additional vocal reinforcements in the form of the East Central College Combined Choirs. Powell Hall (718 North Grand Boulevard; www.chband.org) is the only building in town that won’t get its roof blown off during the crescendoes, so that’s where the concert takes place. The Holiday Pops Spectacular starts at 7:30 p.m. tonight. Tickets are $30 to $75.

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In the era of remakes and reboots, it’s difficult to imagine a time when any film was the first of its kind. Henry Edwards’ 1935 effort Scrooge was the first “talkie” version of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, and it made a few key innovations. Edwards spent more time developing the London that created the miser Ebeneezer Scrooge, a city in which incalculable wealth and grinding poverty exist cheek by jowl, and he keeps the spirits that haunt Scrooge invisible to the audience.

There’s a sense of reality that pays off when the Spirit of Christmas Future reveals the corpse of Tiny Tim to Scrooge no euphemisms or niceties here. Kids end up dead and Ebeneezer is damned unless he changes his ways. The Webster Film Series screens Scrooge at 7:30 p.m. Thursday and Friday

(December 22 and 23) at Webster University’s Moore Auditorium (470 East Lockwood Avenue; www.webster.edu/film-series).

Admission is free.

SATURDAY 12/24 Steinberg Skating Rink You could do worse things in your life than learn to ice skate. It’s great exercise, sure, but skating’s real value is that it’s a solitary pursuit that gives you time to think.

Once you become proficient you can turn your brain off and glide along it’s the cheapest re-set button available. The restorative powers are even greater if you can do it outdoors, and that’s exactly where Steinberg Skating Rink (400 Jefferson Drive; www. steinbergskatingrink.com) is located. The city’s largest rink is a great place to stretch your legs, get some fresh air and realign your system, especially during the stressful holiday season.

Steinberg is open from 10 a.m. to midnight December 16 to January 7 so you can burn off some steam late into the evening. Regular hours are 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.

Sunday through Thursday and 10 a.m. to midnight Friday and Saturday through February 23. Admission is $7 for an all-day pass, and skate rental is $6 for hockey or figure skates.

Continued on pg 20

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The Grandpa Gang are the men of a certain age who hang all the lights that transform Rock Springs Park (2116 College Avenue, Alton, Illinois; www.visitalton.com) into Christmas Wonderland. In recent years the gents put up 3 million lights; this year they topped 4 million.

The area is so bright that you won’t even need your headlights when you make your loop of the park. It’s an excellent last-minute excursion to tire out the kids before their favorite day of the year, just in case you want to sleep in tomorrow. (Its never going to happen.) Christmas Wonderland is open from 6 to 9 p.m.

Monday through Friday and 5 to 9 p.m. Saturday and Sunday through December 27. Admission is $7 for cars and small vans.

MONDAY 12/26 Schlafly’s 25th Anniversary The beer culture of St. Louis has changed tremendously in the last 25 years, and only Schlafly has been here to witness every last one of them. When the Schlafly Tap Room (2100 Locust Street; www. schlafly.com first opened its doors, Schlafly was a microbrewery and the only one in town. Then other small and dedicated brewers joined the fun and helped jump-start the craft beer revolution. Today we have beer riches that were simply unimaginable in 1991: Scotch ales, saisons, IPAs, APAs, stouts, brown ales, fruity seasonals it’s never been a better time to have a beer. Come celebrate Schlafly’s 25th Anniversary from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. today with original, 1991 prices on all beer and live music by Tom Hall, Trigger 5, Middle Class Fashion and Tortuga. There’s no charge for admission, and the music starts at noon.

TUESDAY 12/27 Winterfest

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT

20

Christmas Wonderland

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We’re so close to the Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic that you can almost feel those body checks rattling the boards. To help the time pass faster, the St. Louis Blues and the CityArchRiver Foundation have joined forces to present Winterfest at the Arch, the centerpiece of which is an outdoor ice rink in Luther Ely Smith Square (North Fourth and Market streets; www.archwinterfest.com). It uses synthetic ice in case of inclement weather, but it feels just like ice under your skates. The rink opens with an all-day celebration from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Tuesday, December 27, that includes current Blues players, autograph signings and skating, of course. Blues alumni show up around 5 p.m., and there will be a drawing for Winter Classic Alumni game tickets. The rink is open daily from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m (December 27 to January 8) for regular skating.

Skate rental is $7 to $12.

WEDNESDAY 12/28 St. Louis Blues vs. Philadelphia Flyers The Philadelphia Flyers are revered as the handsomest, the strongest and the bravest team in the NHL. Yet despite their manly bonhomie and generous spirits, the team does have its flaws. The lyers rank near the bottom of the league in goals against and their penalty kill is dismal. And yet the team scores goals in bunches and has a top-notch power play. If the St. Louis Blues can stay out of the sin bin and draw a few penalties, they’ll have a good chance of pouring in goals by the bucketful. If not, these new-look young Flyers will run ‘em off the ice. The Blues take on the Flyers at 7 p.m. tonight at Scottrade Center (1401 Clark Avenue; www.stlblues. com). Tickets are $49 to $445.

Planning an event, exhibiting your art or putting on a play? Let us know and we’ll include it in the Night & Day section or publish a listing in the online calendar — for free! Send details via e-mail (calendar@ riverfronttimes.com), fax (314-754-6416) or mail (6358 Delmar Boulevard, Suite 200, St. Louis, MO 63130, attn: Calendar). Include the date, time, price, contact information and location (including ZIP code). Please submit information three weeks prior to the date of your event. No telephone submissions will be accepted. Find more events online at www.riverfronttimes.com.

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22

FILM

[REVIEW]

Life After Death Jackie captures Jacqueline Kennedy as she wrested control of her life amidst death and confusion Written by

ROBERT HUNT Jackie Directed by Pablo Larrain. Written by Noah Oppenheim. Starring Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard and Greta Gerwig. Opens Wednesday, December 21, at the Landmark Plaza Frontenac Cinema.

S

he was the most famous woman in the world. For most of the 1960s, magazines like Photoplay and Screen Stories, which had previously devoted their attention to the romantic entanglements of Liz and Debbie (and Dick and Eddie; mix as needed), turned their covers over to a woman who had never appeared in a film, never sought celebrity and, while not exactly pursuing a Garbo-like level of isolation, did nothing to embrace or even accept it. She was a symbol of an American defeat, a lost dream, and while she made few public statements to acknowledge her peculiar celebrity status, she was undoubtedly very aware of her role as National Widow, just as she had been aware of the significance of her public persona as First Lady.

She was Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy (later Onassis, or Jackie O., if you wish to be condescending), a woman who was forced into a celebrity status that none of her predecessors as First Lady had known. Her life — and that of most Americans — was irrevocably changed on the afternoon of November 22, 1963, when her husband was assassinated. The new film Jackie, directed by Pablo Larrain, is the story of the First Lady’s transformation from reluctant political wife to national symbol, set during the brief period from

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

Jackie Kennedy (Natalie Portman) has to find her own path in Jackie. | PHOTO BY STEPHANIE BRANCHU - © 2016 - FOX SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES the assassination to JFK’s burial two and a half days later.

If you’re expecting a hagiographic, reverent film biography — St. Jackie in the Halls of Camelot — prepare to be surprised. Jackie is a smart and gripping psychological story, almost a nightmare, about a woman facing defeat and taking control of her own life. Yes, she defends the Halls of Camelot, but she has to put up a terrific fight to get there.

Based in part on a four-hour interview conducted by historian Theodore H. White at Mrs. Kennedy’s request a few days after the funeral, Noah Oppenheim’s original screenplay gives us a woman in the act of molding her public image, mindful of her husband’s legacy and his place in history but also keeping her own persona in mind. She taunts White (unnamed in the film and played with graceful humor by Billy Crudup), questions his ability to understand her and even feeds him lines, offering a mocking version of the story she imagines he will write. “I don’t smoke” she commands as a cor-

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

riverfronttimes.com

rection of the imagined prose — while lighting her third or fourth cigarette. She’s a politician, just as much as Robert Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson and the other Washington insiders jockeying for position and treading carefully around their new pillbox-hatted competitor.

The White interview is balanced throughout the film by flashbacks to one of the First Lady’s most celebrated moments, her televised tour of the White House on Valentine’s Day, 1962. Aided by her personal assistant (Greta Gerwig in a fine supporting performance , Jackie plans her prime time debut carefully, carefully taking in the steps needed to create an image.

(The program was in some ways designed to win approval for recent renovations she had made to her residence and to thank the donors who had funded it.) Studying the differences between her private life and her public image, she seems to be learning how to collapse them into a single role.

Natalie Portman can only be described as flawless in her portrayal of Jacqueline Kennedy. This isn’t

just a clever imitation or careful re-enactment; she’s the soul of the film, taking us not only through the familiar events and political name-dropping but also into the private whirlwind faced by the 34-year-old Kennedy. We see her wandering the rooms of the White House, carefully resisting the demands of the Kennedy family (Peter Sarsgaard is excellent as Robert Kennedy, awkwardly balancing private and public concerns), even washing the blood from her hands, a Lady Macbeth in reverse.

Larrain and a gifted production team have produced a masterful replica of 1963 Washington, beautifully photographed and given rich texture by the music of Mica Levi, but it’s Portman who commandeers the entire film, whether she’s verbally jousting with White and RFK or recreating the historical events of that dark November weekend (which, it should be warned, is presented with disturbing realism). It’s an exceptional film about politics and the power of media, disguised as a one-woman show. n

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DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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CAFE

25

[REVIEW]

Exit Stage Left Grand Center’s Stage Left Diner misses the mark Written by

CHERYL BAEHR Stage Left Diner

541 N. Grand Boulevard; 314-533-7500.

Mon. 7 a.m.-3 p.m.; Tues.-Thurs. 7 a.m.-9 p.m.; Fri.-Sat. 7 a.m.-midnight; Sun. 7 a.m.-3 p.m.

I

t was a Tuesday evening, about two hours before Finding Neverland’s curtain call, and Stage Left Diner was packed with the pre-show dinner crowd. The wait was about 45 minutes, but considering how quickly the tables were turning, anyone already on the hostess’ list had no danger of being late to the show at the adjacent Fox Theater.

Yet one patron-in-waiting had enough. Perhaps he was overcome by the prospect of his minkbedecked wife eating a patty melt.

Maybe he saw someone breaking a sweat as they attempted to saw through the prime rib. Whatever the reason, he got up from the bench in the waiting area, announced to his group that he was going to check out the other nearby restaurants, and came back about ten minutes later with news that he had secured a table at the Italian spot across the street. He promptly escorted across the way his party of four, who I can only imagine feasted on scrumptious veal piccata, laughing and slinging back wine before showtime.

Those of us who stuck it out were not so lucky, for Stage Left Diner peddles its wares to a pre-theater set who, unlike our aforementioned hero, are willing to wait for mediocrity. And mediocrity is what they get.

It’s somewhat understandable.

Theater-goers are in a hurry. They have limited options in Midtown and have already found parking.

The few other restaurants in the

Dishes at Stage Left Diner include berry crepes, prime rib, a slinger and a strawberry milkshake. | MABEL SUEN neighborhood are just as busy, and, let’s be honest here, aren’t going to be winning a James Beard award anytime soon. Plus, Stage Left is mere feet away from the Fox’s front doors, making it possible to be in your seats within five minutes of paying the bill.

In other words, with a guaranteed crowd of theater district patrons, Stage Left Diner doesn’t have to be good; it just has to be. In that respect, the packed house shows that it’s doing ust fine. By any other measure, it misses the mark.

It’s disappointing, since Stage Left Diner exists as an answer to its predecessor’s difficulties. Previously branded as City Diner, a northern outpost of the original on South Grand, the restaurant was given a full reboot in September. At the time, I spoke to consultant Brad Beracha, and he told me that owner Steve Smith had opted for a new concept because the old City Diner had earned poor marks from its customers and lost the confidence of the neighborhood. Smith called upon Beracha to reimagine the greasy spoon as an elevated comfort food spot.

One of the biggest complaints about the previous incarnation,

Beracha explained, was the service.

He and Smith made improving the restaurant’s hospitality the focal point of the rebrand, instilling a cultural change in the staff to try to win back displeased guests.

And to that end, Stage Left Diner is a success. Though just one host was working the door — and that same host appeared to be the only busser — he greeted everyone promptly, cleared and reset tables as soon as they were vacated and sat guests in as timely a manner as possible. The servers were equally efficient, greeting tables, taking orders and dropping off checks with lightning speed, all while maintaining a friendly demeanor.

Stage Left Diner has made strides to look the part of a respectable dining option as well.

For the rebrand, the owners shook off the greasy spoon image in favor of a cool, vintage aesthetic.

Avocado green walls, earth-tone tiles and a midcentury modern three-dimensional mural decorate the space. Tucked into a booth and looking out to the gleaming lights of Midtown, I couldn’t help but get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the district. It’s stunning. riverfronttimes.com

U n f o r t u n a t e l y, t h e m e n u revamp proved less of a success.

A mushroom toast appetizer tasted pleasant enough — roasted mushrooms, goat cheese and chives are sprinkled atop slices of garlic buttered baguette and drizzled with balsamic syrup. It’s a classic pairing of flavors, but the components seem cheap. The bread is the kind of take-and-bake garlic toast you’d find packaged in foil at the grocery store, and the goat cheese was the dry, crumbly kind that comes in a plastic container. A few upgrades in ingredient quality would make this infinitely more successful.

Stage Left Diner’s French onion soup is cloyingly sweet and unbalanced. Instead of a splash of wine in the background to enhance the rich beef and onion flavors, in the bowl I tried it was front and center and overtook the entire dish. They could’ve served this over ice with a slice of orange and passed it off as sangria.

A kale and apple salad also spikes the blood sugar. A humongous pile of chopped kale is tossed with toasted walnuts, blueberries, apples and grapes, then drenched

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

Continued on pg 26

RIVERFRONT TIMES

25

STAGE LEFT Continued from pg 25

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The dining room offers a killer view of Grand Center’s hustle and bustle. | MABEL SUEN in a mayonnaise-heavy raspberry vinaigrette that turns the dish into something reminiscent of a Waldorf salad. The accompanying blue cheese crumbles may have mitigated the sweetness, except they were so bland I could have mistaken them for queso fresco.

Burgers are the bright spot in Stage Left’s repertoire. The thin, griddled “smash burgers” hit that perfect diner spot of a greasy middle with crispy edges. I opted for American cheese on my double, which created a layer of goo and delicious grease that put other diner burgers to shame. Crisp lettuce and thick sliced tomatoes, onions and pickles gave a bit of cooling relief from the decadence. It would have been perfect were it not for the bread.

Though the menu says the burgers are served on Texas toast, there was nothing Lone Star-sized about the thin, sliced white bread that came in its place. Still, the overall sandwich was pretty close to perfect.

I can’t say the same about the prime rib. Stage Left Diner serves this massive cut of meat as its blue plate special every Thursday, and I will give them this much: In sheer quantity, it’s quite the value. At $12, the hefty hunk of beef has to weigh in at about sixteen ounces, and it’s as thick as what you’d find at one of the town’s pricey prime

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rib houses. Garlic and herbs encrust the roasted exterior, infusing the meat with flavor. However, the texture is off. The cut looks like the ribeye it purports to be, but it was so tough on my visit I’d swear it’s a different cut. If it was in fact rib roast, it must have come from a geriatric steer who spent his time tilling the fields. There’s no other reason you should have to masticate each bite to the point your jaw hurts.

Breakfast offerings don’t fare much better. The corned beef skillet has as its base a delightful meritage of onions and red potatoes that, when topped with corned beef, takes on a White Castle-esque flavor. However, the diced corned beef was tough, dry and bland, calling into question the quality of what’s being served. Bland hollandaise sauce tastes straight from the jar.

Spoon-drop biscuits are adequately fluffy and smothered in average sausage gravy for a passable rendering of the classic Southern breakfast dish. Grits, however, would not pass your Alabama grandma’s muster with their driedout consistency. Jalapeños infuse the dish with a hint of spice, and cheddar cheese adds richness, but neither is enough to make up for the grits’ lack of essential creaminess.

The Monte Cristo sandwich could have been decent; Black Forest ham, turkey and cheddar cheese were a savory counter to the thick slices of French toast that served as the bread. If I’d been given a maple syrup of quality, I would’ve considered it a success. Unfortunately, though, the sandwich was ruined by a cheap raspberry sauce that tasted like liquefied Luden’s cough drops.

The whole thing just ended up tasting fake.

Like that awful raspberry sauce, there wasn’t much about the food at Stage Left Diner that left me with a pleasant taste in my mouth. And that’s a shame that goes far beyond the effort its owners put into the reboot. Grand Center is a prominent jewel in this city’s crown, and the Fox Theater is a national treasure.

Restaurants catering to this crowd should see it as an opportunity to raise their culinary offerings to the level such a theater district deserves, not phone it in because they have a captive audience. We deserve better. The Fox deserves better.

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28

SHORT ORDERS

[SIDE DISH]

For Herbie’s Chef, It All Started at Buffalo Wild Wings Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

C

hris Vomund, the executive chef at Herbie’s (8100 Maryland Avenue, Clayton; 314-7699595), may run the show at an upscale St. Louis institution, but his entry into the restaurant business was much more humble.

“I came back from college when I was twenty and didn’t know what I wanted to do. I realized journalism wasn’t my thing, and I needed to figure something out, so I got a ob serving at Buffalo Wild Wings,” Vomund recalls. “One thing led to another, and all of a sudden I was managing restaurants.”

Vomund spent six years working at the sports bar and credits it with instilling in him a passion for the industry, even though the environment wasn’t so glamorous.

“Working at a corporate restaurant, you have a lot of people dog you about it,” Vomund says. “But it really set a foundation for me in terms of systems and consistency.

Of course it’s just assembling food — not cooking — but it’s what got me into the industry and exposed me to kitchen life.”

After Buffalo Wild Wings, Vomund went on to work for another chain, Logan’s Roadhouse, where he found himself spending more time in the kitchen. Though it wasn’t the sort of food he wanted to do, Vomund was inspired to enroll in culinary school at Forest Park Community College, which is where he really began to fall in love with cooking and get an idea 28

RIVERFRONT TIMES

Herbie’s executive chef Chris Vomund has humble culinary roots. | CHERYL BAEHR of what was possible in the culinary arts.

Culinary school led Vomund to Pi, and then some more corporate gigs — PF Chang’s and the Hard Rock Cafe — before he landed at the unique yet short-lived family spot the Nest. Though the concept didn’t take off the way its owners had hoped, the experience there allowed Vomund the opportunity to be in charge of a from-scratch kitchen. He began to develop his vision for the type of chef he wanted to become.

He drew upon that experience when he was approached by chef-owner Aaron Teitelbaum to interview for the executive chef position at Herbie’s. “It’s basically like someone saying to a musician, ‘Hey, here’s the place that the Ramones played at — do you want to play there?’ I mean, who wouldn’t want to play at the Whiskey in LA? It was an easy decision.”

At Herbie’s, omund finally feels like he has hit his stride, honoring the restaurant’s storied legacy while allowing his own vision to shine through. It may be a long way from Buffalo Wild Wings, but Vomund insists he wouldn’t be as

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

riverfronttimes.com

grateful for where he is if he didn’t remember his roots.

“There’s nothing worse than cooking corporate burgers and fries for people who have no ties to the food,” Vomund says. “It really makes you appreciate getting to cook your own food.”

Vomund took a break from the kitchen at Herbie’s new Clayton address to share his thoughts on the St. Louis food and beverage community, his love of ska and skateboards, and why the key to a good workout is a glass of whiskey.

What is one thing people don’t know about you that you wish they did?

I have the best wife and the best family and friends. Everybody thinks that, but I really do.

What daily ritual is non-negotiable for you?

Drinking a highly caffeinated beverage and listening to some ska on the drive into work.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Flight, sweet guitar skills or supernatural skateboarding skills.

What is the most positive thing in food, wine or cocktails that you’ve noticed in St. Louis over the

past year?

I love the fun people are having with all of the pop-ups. The “This Is Not a Restaurant” series is so rad.

What is something missing in the local food, wine or cocktail scene that you’d like to see?

Well, Shake Shack is coming, so I don’t know what else we are missing.

Who is your St. Louis food crush?

Always crushing on Gerard Craft, Kevin Nashan, Kevin Willmann. I love what Russell Ping is doing at Russell’s on Macklind. And Matt Borchardt is doing great stuff with Edibles & Essentials. The crews at Pint Size and Kounter Kulture are the best. I cant forget Katie Collier, the Gallinas, Chris Bork and Ben Grupe.

Who’s the one person to watch right now in the St. Louis dining scene?

How can you pick just one? See the above answer.

Which ingredient is most representative of your personality?

Pork... it’s reliable and never disappoints. Everybody is like, “Hey Pork is here!” Pork is never too flashy it’s ust really good.

If you weren’t working in the restaurant business, what would you be doing?

House rehabber, carpenter, or something like that. I would moonlight as the hypeman for the Mighty Mighty Bosstones or Less Than Jake.

Name an ingredient never allowed in your kitchen.

I haven’t found it yet.

What is your after-work hangout?

My couch with my wife, my dog and a whiskey, or my garage for a quick workout. Sometimes I mix the two and workout while drinking a whiskey.

What’s your food or beverage guilty pleasure?

Ice cream, breakfast cereal (Cap’n Crunch) and pizza.

What would be your last meal on earth?

Sweet potato hash with smoked brisket, some sunnyside-up eggs and a bourbon on the rocks. Second choice is a triple decker PBJ with bacon, Miss Vickie’s chips, ice cold milk ... and also a bourbon on the rocks. n

riverfronttimes.com

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

RIVERFRONT TIMES

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[FIRST LOOK]

A New Soulard Spot for Board Game Lovers Written by

SARAH FENSKE

S

t. ouis’ first board game cafe — a restaurant/bar/space to play a game with friends or meet up with strangers — begins its soft opening period this week.

The owners of Pieces STL (1535 S. 8th Street, info@stlpieces.com) have gathered more than 500 board games, both beloved and completely obscure. They’ve made some key changes to the Soulard space that previously held Franco, giving it a friendly, casual feel.

They’ve lured a talented young chef from their favorite restaurant in Columbus, Ohio, persuading him to relocate to St. Louis (sight unseen!) to command the kitchen.

And they’ve got a full bar of specialty cocktails all ready to go.

Now they just need a liquor license. With that all but certain to come by early next week, they say, they plan to have a few days of soft openings in the run up to Christmas — and even be open Christmas Eve for a low-key alternative to formal family dinners.

“We’ve been in the space for the last 30 days, cooking, preparing and prepping,” says Laura Lettau, who co-owns the restaurant with husband James Lettau and their friend Ameet Rawal. “Now we feel confident to open.”

All transplants to St. Louis, the three became good friends in 2012, with the Lettaus introducing Rawal to the board games they loved. Familiar with game cafes in other cities, they began planning to open one of their own in St. Louis. After Laura took a job in Ohio and found herself longing to return, the planning kicked up a notch, and a successful Kickstarter provided startup funds. Laura has since quit her job (and moved back to St. Louis) to focus full-time on Pieces STL, while her husband and Rawal 30

RIVERFRONT TIMES

Chef Jesse McGraw (top) is serving dishes including the “Corncake Bowl” (bottom right). Cocktails are also on offer. | PHOTOS BY SARAH FENSKE continue to juggle their day jobs and this passion project.

Those familiar with Franco, which flourished as a fine dining spot for a decade, may realize that little on site has changed, yet the space somehow feels transformed.

Bright blue chairs (acquired from the now-shuttered Gringo) add a pop of color, while reclaimed wood tables from Shellback Iron Works, located in Lemp Brewery, aim to provide a suitably sturdy base for the most intense competition.

Throw pillows, sewn by James’ mom, turn big window seats into cozy nooks, while three bookshelves hold voluminous game options, sorted from easy to hard, with an entire bookshelf of “party games” for those more accustomed to Pictionary than Dungeons and Dragons.

The partners, who are all vegetarians, dreamed up the menu, but it got new life when they brought

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

riverfronttimes.com

on 22-year-old Jesse McGraw. Previously the kitchen manager at a restaurant they loved in Columbus called Market 65, McGraw agreed to move to St. Louis and run the kitchen. But first he fine-tuned their broad strokes. “I narrowed it down and also expanded the meat options,” McGraw notes. “The ideas I thought were great, I kept in there.”

Every single dish can be ordered either vegetarian or for meat lovers. The poke bowl, for example, can be made with tuna or tofu. The Latin-flavored “Corncake Bowl” comes with either vegetarian chorizo or slow-roasted pork, but both versions are full of jicama, seasoned rice, your choice of salsa, avocado and Mexican slaw.

For the three owners, hiring has included not just the usual kitchen and wait staff, but two “game navigators,” who are there to suggest a new game or even play referee

if the players need it.

“People can holler at a game navigator or at management,” Laura Lettau says. “We’ll help you work through it.”

Diners can visit Pieces only with email reservations for its soft opening on December 21 and 22. After that, the partners plan on regular hours, although they’re closed both on Mondays and Christmas and New Year’s Day. And yes, they’re open on New Year’s Eve until 1 a.m., although they ask that you make a reservation by email for that too (send info about how many are in your party and what time you’ll be arriving to info@ stlpieces.com).

“There’s no cover, no excessively loud music and clean bathrooms,” promises Laura Lettau.

Notes Rawal, “Not everyone wants to dance on New Year’s.” But who could possibly resist a nice game of Cards Against Humanity? n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

31

[MEMORIAM]

Remembering Behshid Bahrami Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

B

ehshid Bahrami, who founded Cafe Natasha (3200 South Grand Boulevard; 314-7713411), passed away suddenly on the evening of Tuesday, December 13. He is survived by his wife, Hamishe and his daughter, Natasha. Bahrami was 74 years old.

A geologist by trade, Bahrami was an unlikely restaurateur, getting into the business following a series of misfortunes that left him with no other option. After fleeing Iran during the country’s revolution in the late 1970s, Bahrami had a successful geology career for a handful of years in St. Louis until he was laid off — and unfortunately for him, it happened in the midst of the fallout following the Iran hostage crisis.

“No one would hire me because I was Iranian,” Bahrami once explained.

“And I found out I was laid off the day we found out my wife was pregnant with Natasha. We didn’t know what to do.”

The Bahramis were not professional cooks, but they often hosted dinner parties for friends who commented on the quality of their food. With no other way to support the family, the husband and wife team founded their first venture, the Little Kitchen, in downtown’s Paul Brown Building in 1983.

Armed with nothing more than a convection oven and an electric burner, Bahrami developed a repertoire of recipes and gained a reputation for excellence. Though the menu was predominately classic American comfort food, Bahrami sprinkled in Persian spe-

Behshid Bahrami (left) had been a geologist in Iran. | COURTESY OF NATASHA BAHRAMI cialties, introducing downtown’s business crowd to a new kind of cuisine.

The Little Kitchen was so successful that the Bahramis decided to venture out, opening their sit-down, Persian-inspired Cafe Natasha in 1993.

Bahrami was uncompromising in his pursuit of culinary perfection — it took him two years of relentless trial and error before his falafel recipe passed his muster. However, nowhere was his commitment to greatness more apparent than in what would become Cafe Natasha’s signature flavor — his kabob marinade. Originally developed as a marinade for chicken and pork, Bahrami began marinating Cafe Natasha’s lamb chops to make up for what he considered to be inferior U.S. lamb.

“Lamb just tastes different in the United States,” Bahrami would often lament. “It’s gamey, nothing like Persian lamb.” Bahrami’s solution was to marinate his lamb chops in his wondrous concoction — and the decision put his restaurant on the map. Then-St. Louis Post-Dispatch restaurant critic Joe Pollack visited their restaurant and deemed the chops as the best lamb he’d even eaten. From that moment on, the restaurant was packed.

Much has changed for the Bahra-

mis over the years — the Little Kitchen closed, Cafe Natasha moved from University City to South Grand and was rebranded as Kabob International, only to be renamed Cafe Natasha when daughter Natasha took over three years ago. The restaurant has been remodeled — half has been converted into a spirits temple, the Gin Room.

But one thing has not changed over the years, and that is Bahrami’s presence as a force for culinary greatness, even as he stepped away from the kitchen and turned the cooking over to his wife, Hamishe. He was a constant fixture in the restaurant’s dining room, always willing to share his thoughts on what constituted truly great food. And his palate was unparalleled. Bahrami could deconstruct a dish from memory, breaking down where it succeeded and where it fell short.

He wasn’t afraid to tell people the truth. Many restaurateurs and chefs were the object of his critiques, and he could be rather blunt. “This soup, it has no flavor,” he once told a prominent restaurant owner. “You have good food, but I worry you don’t know how to run a restaurant,” he said to another.

As his daughter recalls, “He’d pull you aside and say that he needed to

talk to you. And people would be terrified.”

But as anyone who knew Bahrami could attest, his critiques were never mean-spirited. He simply loved food to the point of zealotry and expected that level of commitment from everyone else in the industry.

I know this because he expected it of me. I had the pleasure of knowing Bahrami for two decades and count him as my single biggest food influence. I still remember my first taste of the restaurant’s beef shish kebabs — marinated with “lamb sauce,” as he called his signature accoutrement.

They were unlike any flavor I’d every tasted, and I kept coming back, sometimes two or even three times a week.

For a culinarily sheltered girl from Florissant, his food was revelatory.

I got to know Bahrami and his family over the years, first as a regular, and then as a friend. We would have hours-long discussions over dinner. He would pontificate about the smallest details of rice preparation or the virtues of a properly cooked piece of fish.

I learned so much from this man, and when I went on to become the Riverfront Times’ restaurant critic, Bahrami made it clear to me that he would hold me accountable to his standards.

If I went too easy on someone, or was too effusive in my praise of what he considered an “average” restaurant — which was often, considering his impossibly high standards — he would let me know. I’d often hear his voice in my head as I’d write my reviews.

And he was no hypocrite. Bahrami held himself and his family to these standards as well, if not higher ones, which is why his impact on the St. Louis restaurant community will be felt for years to come. As Cafe Natasha’s menu proudly proclaims, “We will not offer anything unless it is wonderful.”

Bahrami lived his commitment to that claim, and made St. Louis infinitely more delicious. That will be his legacy. n

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UPCOMING SHOWS 2.3 FALLING IN REVERSE, ISSUES, MOTIONLESS IN WHITE

3.23 SOUTHERN SOUL ASSEMBLY

2.7 TESLA

3.27 BRING ME THE HORIZON

2.15 ADAM DEVINE

4.1 DARK STAR ORCHESTRA

3.1 ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES

4.19 & 4.20 JAY & SILENT BOB GET OLD

3.5 CIRCA SURVIVE

4.23 FLAMING LIPS

3.8 HAYES GRIER & THE BOYS

5.1 ANTHRAX, KILLSWITCH ENGAGE

3.15 EXCISION

5.3 TREY ANASTASIO

3.18 SON VOLT

5.13 BIANCA DEL RIO

visit us online for complete show information facebook.com/ThePageantSTL

@ThePageantSTL

thepageantstl.tumblr.com

thepageant.com // 6161 delmar blvd. / St. Louis, MO 63112 // 314.726.6161

34

RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

riverfronttimes.com

MUSIC

35

[PREVIEW]

In the Loop Looprat combines hip-hop with high-school jazz band roots for an unmistakably unique sound Written by

HARRY HALL Phat Buddha Holiday Ball w/ Looprat

8 p.m. Friday, December 30. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Avenue. $5.

314-775-0775.

S

pend any significant amount of time discussing the Delmar oop and you’ll eventually land on the sub ect of race. The bustling entertainment and shopping district sits on Delmar Boulevard, the street at the center of St. ouis’ infamous Delmar Divide — the line that separates and segregates the city’s predominantly white population to the south from its largely black population to the north.

The oop, located ust west of St. ouis proper in University City, sees these two communities come together, eating and shopping or taking in a show at the Tivoli or the Pageant.

In a perfect sort of way, St. ouis’ ooprat straddles the Delmar Divide, with an almost-even mix of black and white members.

And while you don’t often see musical groups so self-consciously associate with a specific neighborhood in St. ouis, ooprat’s name is a dead giveaway.

A ten-person a hip-hop group comprised of six instrumentalists and four MCs, the act owes its existence to the University City High School a band, where more than half its members met.

Though it has been almost three years since ooprat released its first album, the group still stays close to the neighborhood, and many of its recent music videos feature a saunter down the oop sometimes to the confusion of packs of older tourists .

But you’d be wrong to assume

The members of Looprat, gathered at Suburban Pro Studios during a recording session for August’s How Live? | DAVID BOWMAN

Looprat produces a smooth, seamless mix of nimble jazz instrumentation with heady hiphop lyricism. that ooprat represents a modern conception of Coca-Cola’s “Teach the World to Sing” commercial.

The group incorporates many influences, but the result is neither perfect, flat harmonies nor a blend of discordant sounds.

Instead, ooprat produces a smooth, seamless mix of nimble a instrumentation with heady hip-hop lyricism. In a way, ooprat’s genre-resistance reflects the music scene in the oop itself a

solo flutist on one sidewalk, a folk group on another — and the St. ouis scene in general.

“I think that the St. ouis music community is really diverse,” says Alex “Mugen” Yentumi, one of the group’s MCs. “There is a very eclectic taste of music here.”

“With really tight-knit subgenres though,” says Nate “NatKinglo” King, another MC. “But also nobody’s really doing the same thing as anybody else,” Yentumi adds. “So we’re ust trying to continue that momentum, working with the different groups and understanding that dynamic of the city’s music, where everybody’s doing a unique thing but people come together too.”

The band’s most recent album, How Live?, released in August, starts off with “The New Edition,” a track that epitomi es the possibilities in the group’s collaboration. The song begins with a simple falling piano line, courtesy of keyboardist Ben Aronberg, that could easily introduce a song of practically any genre. rom there, riverfronttimes.com

ach Morrow’s drums punch in as Yentumi, King and the group’s additional MCs David Napalm, Will-Be trade verses. The last four minutes of the six-minute song are devoid of vocals, instead playing out like a traditional a instrumental, thanks to the deft contributions of Joey erber guitar , Albert Marshall bass , Sam Kat saxophone and Khamali Cuffie-Moore trumpet . This feeling continues into the beginning of the second track, “ ife’s Work,” with a simple loop that serves as a blank slate for the four MCs to return and spit bars.

“Every MC that we work with definitely has a very unique voice,” says King. “I’d be hardpressed to tell you even one or two rappers that sound like them, which I think is pretty dope.”

This is what you can expect throughout How Live? a continuous mingling of genres a , hiphop, funk, blues. The songs don’t sound forced, like a low-energy “Diversity Day” in a cubicle farm.

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

Continued on pg 36

RIVERFRONT TIMES

35

LOOPRAT Continued from pg 35

Get in The Grove for exciting Drinking, Dining, Dancing, & Shopping!

DECEMBER BUGER OF THE MONTH:

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36

RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

ELK BURGER , MELTED BRIE , BRANDIED CRANBERRY COMPOTE , PORT WINE ONIONS AND SPRING MIX ON A BRIOCHE BUN

riverfronttimes.com

The mixes are simply seamless and natural, appealing to real hiphop fans the group performed a Halloween show this past October called “Hip Hop Ain’t Dead Yet ” as well as older folks who prefer more mellow a tracks the group plans to release instrumental versions of its songs for those listeners .

Citing influences from Stan et , Charlie Parker and Bela leck to local genre-bending groups ulfpeck and Midwest Avengers, King and Yentumi say that everyone in the group brings something to the table, despite ooprat’s lack of an obvious leader or fulcrum, as you often see in larger a groups.

So far, the group’s cohesive approach to songwriting has paid off, though it sometimes takes some back and forth. “ ife’s Work,” which is featured on ooprat’s How Live?, was almost nixed off the album’s tracklist a few days before its recording session.

“The song started as a beat that David Napalm made,” King explains. “Dave, Mugen and I rapped on that beat and recorded to it at David’s house, and then we showed the recording with the instrumental to a couple people in the band.”

Though the group liked the beat, King says that it seemed slightly too boring to warrant recording.

“It was all in one key,” he explains. But, “then our saxophone player added how the instrumental goes up and up and up, chromatically, throughout the whole song.” Instead of being abandoned, “ ife’s Work” turned into the group’s most successful song, garnering more than 40,000 listens on Spotify.

A number of ooprat members are still in college, though King will be graduating from Webster this winter. ooking forward, the group plans to keep performing, in St. ouis, Chicago and points beyond. In terms of where the music could go, though, they can’t really say. It’s already come a long way from first-period a standards.

“It’s weird how well we come together despite how different our overall writing styles are, how we each grew up and our cultural backgrounds,” says Yentumi. “It’s all super diverse, but it’s all seamn less.”

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Open 7 days from 11 am 6504 Delmar in The Loop ★ 314-727-4444 riverfronttimes.com

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

RIVERFRONT TIMES

37

38

B-SIDES

[ R E TA I L ]

Broken Windows — and a Missing Set of Headphones Written by

SARAH FENSKE

F

or Mark Carter, who owns Music Record Shop (3526 Washington Avenue, 314-675-8675) in Grand Center, the bad news is that his store got robbed last week — with a smashed storefront in the early morning hours of December 13 allowing a thief to climb in and help himself.

The good news? The thief only swiped a single item.

“They left our cash register, an iPad, a computer, our stereo system,” Carter says. All that was stolen? A pair of headphones.

Carter sounded philosophical when we reached him on the afternoon following the robbery, despite being woken up at 5 a.m. with a phone call from the police. He’s glad no one was hurt and that (almost) all of his inventory was untouched.

Still, he’s now contemplating some big changes. The store — the

A December 13 robbery did more damage to Music Record Shop’s windows than its merchandise. | COURTESY OF MUSIC RECORD SHOP RFT’s pick for “Best Record Shop” in 2014 — originally opened in the Grove, but left its home there in September for a storefront in Grand Center.

Even at the time, Carter knew the move wasn’t permanent. He was simply biding his time until the shop’s ultimate home, a pair of spaces in .ZACK, the arts incubator just down the street, was ready for the store to move in. Now he’s wondering if that time might be sooner than he previously thought.

The whole point of the .ZACK move is to give Music Record Shop the space it needs to grow. Half of the business has already moved in, with a third-floor office area totaling 2,500 square feet and serving as the headquarters for a thriving online business. The other half is the retail component, which will be another 1,500 square feet on the second floor.

“We ran out of space in the Grove,” Carter says. “This is going to help us expand into buying more

product and then pushing the product online. We have all these plans we’re going to roll out.”

Carter says he anticipated having the second-floor shop open in its new digs on . ACK’s second floor by mid-January, but now may move things up. He’s going to make a decision soon.

In the mean time, Music Record Shop has remained closed. Keep an eye on the store’s Facebook page for further details and, perhaps, a .ZACK opening date. n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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holiday cheer at

2016-17season

jazz at the bistro

NEW YEAR’S EVE

PARTY LOCAL

Jazz St. Louis Big Band plays Ellington’s Nutcracker Dec 21

Good 4 the Soul Dec 29-30

coming in january 2001 Menard in Soulard Facebook: .me/dukesinsoulard 1818 Sidney St. in Soulard/B enton P ark Facebook: truemansinsoulard

The Bad Plus

Jan 4-7

Jazz St. Louis All-Stars Alumni Quintet Jan 11-12

Regina Carter: Simply Ella

Sponsored by American Family Insurance – Ted Wheeler Agency, Inc.

Jan 18-21

Sponsored by Beck/Allen Cabinetry

N HL AL U MN I G AME CO L L EG E FO O TB AL L P L AY O FF G AMES D J HO STED D AN CE P AR TY AMAZ IN G FO O D - D R IN K SP ECIAL S B AL L O O N D R O P AT MID N IG HT CHAMP AIG N TO AST

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Terell Stafford Rodney Whitaker

Jazz at Lincoln Center Group Jan 13-14

Andre Hayward Steve Fidyk

Co-sponsored by Jon & Barbara Topp and Don & Debbie Jacobs

concerts | dinner | drinks full concert listing and info:

jazzstl.org | 314.571.6000 the harold & dorothy steward center for jazz 3536 washington ave. | st. louis, mo 63103

Presenting Sponsor of the 2016-17 Jazz at the Bistro Season

200N . Main St., D up o, IL Facebook: g oodtimessp ortsbar

riverfronttimes.com

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

RIVERFRONT TIMES

39

40

HOMESPUN

PETER MARTIN & THE 442S Home For Christmas the442s.com

The 442s Holiday Spectacular

7:30 p.m. Tuesday, December 20. 560 Music Center, 560 Trinity Avenue, University City. $15 to $25. 314-935-6543.

O

ver the past few years, the instrumental quartet the 442s have mined the creative middle ground between jazz and classical music. In partnering two St. Louis Symphony Orchestra string players (violinist Shawn Weil and cellist Bjorn Ranheim) with two entrenched jazz musicians (upright bassist Syd Rodway and pianist Adam Maness), the group has made two albums of original material and performed in concerts, residencies and collaborations. For its album of Christmas music, the quartet called on some of its most regular collaborators — pianist Peter Martin most prominently, who gets co-billing here, and drummer Montez Coleman — along with a trio of homegrown vocalists: Erin Bode, Brian Owens and the New Orleans-based Jeremy Davenport.

According to Ranheim, these partnerships fuel much of the energy among the members. The aptly titled Home For Christmas celebrates this bonhomie with warm, low-lit arrangements.

“We’re all on each other’s albums,” says Ranheim.

“The 442s are on Peter Martin’s new album, we’re on Montez Coleman’s new album, they’re both on our albums — we’re always just intermingling.”

That spirit animates the opening track, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” which features all three vocalists — and Davenport’s trumpet — as the instrumentalists take turns introducing themselves. What begins with a solemn cello line runs closer to smooth jazz by the time Coleman’s drums come in. It’s one of many songs on the ten-track album that blur the line between genres. Martin, a classically trained pianist known for his work as musical director for jazz singer Dianne Reeves, helps bridge the gap on many of these tracks.

Since Martin takes the rein on piano, Maness’ instrumental contributions are relegated a bit more to background here; his accordion gives reedy depth to “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and his turn on the Fender Rhodes morphs “O Tannenbaum” into a ’70s soul-jazz production that Ramsey Lewis would be proud to call his own. But Maness had his hand in all the arrangements on the album — a daunting task given the musical heavyweights involved. Given the backgrounds of the 442s’ four members — two from the note-perfect world of classical, two from the improvisational world of jazz — some overlap is expected and encouraged.

“He has found a voice in writing for strings that has really grown a lot,” Ranheim says of Maness.

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

riverfronttimes.com

“He gives us very clear parameters of song structure and very clearly written out melodic and thematic harmonic structure. But for Shawn and I, he also gives us room to improvise and get out there. As a classically trained musician, I was never, ever encouraged to make up music on the spot. For us, that is the musical tension in the group; it gives us a chance to push into this other realm.”

Of course, both the classical and jazz catalogs have their own Christmas traditions; on Home for Christmas, the group subtly but effectively subverts those expectations. The string players sit out for “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy,” that staple of orchestral Nutcracker matinees; instead, Maness takes the pinging bells of his celeste and runs the familiar riff through some well-deployed delay while the rhythm section lays down breakbeat-style runs.

It’s Tchaikovsky meets RJD2. The Christmas jazz repertoire is a bit more vast, but odds are high that Vince Guaraldi’s A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack is the jazz LP most commonly found in households across America. Rather than make “Christmastime Is Here” swing, Bode and Ranheim channel the clear-eyed beauty of the tune with a spare voice-and-cello arrangement.

For Ranheim, whose day job with the symphony often finds him playing through the same scores and arrangements this time of year, the 442s’ annual Christmas show is a welcome break from the norm.

“This is not like sitting in an orchestra, playing your 50th performance of The Nutcracker,” he says.

“This is new and inventive and fun.”

“Holiday music can get anybody down — it’s just a busy time of year,” he continues. “It’s easy to become a little bit jaded or cynical, but not when you’re doing this stuff. This is just gravy.”

— Christian Schaeffer

WE BLEED

thu. dec. 22 9PM Southern Exposure Holiday Show Playing the Music of New Orleans

fri. dec. 23 10PM

“St. Louis pioneers of craft beer and live music”

Aaron Kamm and the One Drops Holiday Show

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 22 ND

wed. dec. 28 9:30PM

Singer Songwriter Showcase hosted by Ryan Hoffman - RockFolkAmericana - 7pm - $7

Voodoo Players Tribute to Funk and Soul

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 23 RD

thu. dec. 29 9PM

DSO Radio Launch Party - Hip Hop - 8pm - $5

Hilary Fitz Band

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 27TH

NYE Celebration 10PM

Zach Noe Towers & Bobby Jaycox - Comedy - 7pm $12adv/$15 door

Funky Butt Brass Band Dinner Reservations Available at 314-621-8811 Mon-Fri. 9AM to 4PM

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 28TH IN THE BAR AREA

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1/6 Jake’s Leg & Pebble 1/7 Pepperland-A Beatles Revue 1/12 Vespersteen 1/20 Chris Scott, Matt Jordan, Joshua Stanley

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riverfronttimes.com

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

RIVERFRONT TIMES

41

42

OUT EVERY NIGHT

THURSDAY 22

[CRITIC’S PICK]

p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

CHRISTMAS IN SPACE: 8 p.m., free. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

DOM THOMAS AND MARIA BARTOLOTTA: 7:30 p.m., $12. The Stage at KDHX, 3524 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-925-7543, ext. 815.

EL MONSTERO: THE DEFINITIVE PINK FLOYD EXPERIENCE: 8 p.m.; Dec. 23, 8 p.m.; Dec. 29, 8 p.m.; Dec. 30, 8 p.m., $27.50-$50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314726-6161.

AN EVENING WITH MORGAN AND RYAN: 7 p.m., $7. Cicero’s, 6691 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-862-0009.

GARY AUSTIN: 6 p.m., free. Howard’s in

BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

ANNUAL “NOEL-A-THON” CELEBRATION: 6

4th Annual Christmas Hangover 8 p.m. Friday, December 23.

Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $10. 314-7733363.

Billed as a “Christmas Hangover,” this quadruple local threat is the definition of a honky-tonk hair of the dog, even if it kicks off well before the most anxious time of the year concludes. Fronted by veterans Jesse Irwin and Justin Brown, the Dock Ellis Band stomps and twangs with classic country reverence and shot-swigging irreverence, while Cree Rider leads a family (literally) band,

LEROY JODIE PIERSON: 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz,

one of this city’s finest Americana ensembles, through originals that evoke Gram Parsons and Blue Rodeo.

Relative newcomers Tortuga, featuring Mike Leahy of 7 Shot Screamers and an all-star gang from the Big Muddy Records stable, plays lo-fi country blues, a stark and welcome contrast to the long-haired, country-boy Southern rock of Oak, Steel & Lightning.

Holiday Spirits: Hold the eggnog and just set a bottle of Jim Beam at the end of the bar. ‘Tis the season to get loaded.

— Roy Kasten

Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

MULETIDE KITTEN CAROLS: A HOLIDAY CELEBRATION: 8 p.m., $15. The Stage at KDHX, 3524 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-9257543, ext. 815.

THE OCCASIONALS 5TH ANNUAL HOLIDAY BASH: 8 p.m., $7. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis, 314-775-0775.

SMINO: 8 p.m., $15-$20. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

TEAR OUT THE HEART: 8 p.m., $12-$30. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

VOLCANOES REUNION: w/ Necessities, Lobby Boxer, True Friends 8 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100.

Soulard, 2732 S 13th St, St. Louis, 314-3492850.

PETE AYRES BAND: w/ Richie Kihlken, Paige

SATURDAY 24

Alyssa, The Belief Cycle 7 p.m., $10. Off

BIG RICH MCDONOUGH & RHYTHM RENEGADES:

Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-

10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S.

773-3363.

Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

TIDAL VOLUME: w/ Casper, Freethinker,

MONSTER TRUCK: 8 p.m., $15-$18. Blueberry

Strange Medicine, Jeske Park 7 p.m.,

Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd.,

$10.57-$12. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar

University City, 314-727-4444.

Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

TOM HALL: 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-

FRIDAY 23

5222.

CONNECTOR HOLIDAY PARTY: w/ Minnesota, Filibusta 8 p.m., $15-$20. 2720 Cherokee

MONDAY 26

Performing Arts Center, 2720 Cherokee St,

ANGEL PRESENTS SOUL SEARCHING: 8 p.m.,

St. Louis, 314-276-2700.

$10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broad-

THE DOCK ELLIS BAND: w/ Cree Rider Family

way, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

Band, Tortuga, Oak Steel & Lightning 8

SOULARD BLUES BAND: 9 p.m., $5. Broadway

p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave.,

[CRITIC’S PICK]

St. Louis, 314-773-3363.

DSO RADIO LAUNCH PARTY: 9 p.m., $5. Cicero’s, 6691 Delmar Blvd., University City,

Hell Night. | TODD MORGAN

314-862-0009.

EL MONSTERO: THE DEFINITIVE PINK FLOYD EXPERIENCE: Dec. 22, 8 p.m.; 8 p.m.; Dec. 29, 8 p.m.; Dec. 30, 8 p.m., $27.50-$50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-

Hell Night Album Release 8 p.m. Friday, December 23.

726-6161.

The Firebird, 2706 Olive Street. $10. 314-535-0353.

FLEA BITTEN DAWGS: 6 p.m., free. Howard’s

When longtime Hell Night vocalist Mike Craft unexpectedly called it quits earlier this year, the remaining members of the band wasted no time in finding someone to fill his shoes. Within just four short months, the metal-tinged rock act (or is it the other way around?) joined forces with Grammy-nominated Shadows Fall vocalist Brian Fair, who has lived in the St. Louis area for a few years now. “I have always been about giving back to the community, and when I saw these underprivileged kids

in Soulard, 2732 S 13th St, St. Louis, 314349-2850.

FRESH HEIR: w/ Divine Hours 7 p.m., $10.

Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

HELL NIGHT ALBUM RELEASE: w/ Fister, Maximum Effort 8 p.m., $10. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

THE HILLSIDE BARONS: w/ Prairie Rehab 9 p.m., free. Schlafly Tap Room, 2100 Locust St., St. Louis, 314-241-2337.

HOLLY DAY MUSIC FESTIVAL: 6 p.m., $10-$12.

Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-2899050.

JAKE’S LEG CHRISTMAS SHOW: 10 p.m., $10.

42

RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

riverfronttimes.com

Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314621-8811.

TUESDAY 27 BLIND WILLIE & THE BROADWAY COLLECTIVE: 9:30 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S.

with learning disabilities trying to start a loud rock band I figured I would throw them a bone and yell some gibberish over their bullshit,” Fair has said of his inclusion. With dreadlocks down to his feet and the vocal prowess of a bloodthirsty shark, Fair has been a welcome addition to Hell Night in both live and recorded settings.

Speaking of Recording: This show will mark the release of Hell Night’s new Human Shelves EP, tracked this summer at Encapsulated’s studio with Gabe Usery. It is the group’s first release with Fair on the mic.

— Daniel Hill

Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

ETHAN LEINWAND & FRIENDS: 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

JAMAICA LIVE TUESDAYS: w/ Ital K, Mr. Roots, DJ Witz, $5/$10. Elmo’s Love Lounge, 7828 Olive Blvd, University City, 314-282-5561.

WHOA THUNDER: w/ Stacey Winter 8 p.m., free. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363.

WEDNESDAY 28 BIG RICH MCDONOUGH & RHYTHM RENEGADES: 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

BOB “BUMBLE BEE” KAMOSKE: 8 p.m. Beale on Broadway, 701 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-7880.

EAST SIDERS REVIEW: 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz,

Continued on pg 44

NEW YEARS EVE SPECIALS AVAILABLE

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“CONAN” + “NEVER NOT FUNNY” FEB 16-18

“THINK LIKE A MAN” FEB 23-26

1151 ST LOUIS GALLERIA ST g ST LOUIS MO 3 1 4 7 2 7 1 2 6 0 g H E L I U M C O M E DY. C O M riverfronttimes.com

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

RIVERFRONT TIMES

43

OUT EVERY NIGHT Continued from pg 42

[CRITIC’S PICK]

Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

JOE FLETCHER: 8 p.m., $10-$12. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363.

THIS JUST IN 18ANDCOUNTING: W/ Black Generation, Mathias and the Pirates, CaveofswordS, Rick Maun, Abnormal, Centipede, Fri., Jan. 6, 8 p.m., $8-$10. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

AARON CARTER: Sat., Feb. 4, 8 p.m., $17-$50.

The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

ANTHRAX: W/ Killswitch Engage, The Devil Wears Prada, Mon., May 1, 7 p.m., $35-$40.

The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

BARBERSHOP BATTLE: Sat., Feb. 18, 8 p.m., $10-$15. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

BLACKHAWK: Thu., Feb. 2, 8 p.m., $25-$28.

The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

Bruiser Queen. | STEVE TRUESDELL

BLUE OCTOBER: Fri., March 17, 8 p.m., $30$35. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

BUD SUMMERS: Thu., Dec. 29, 6 p.m., free.

Howard’s in Soulard, 2732 S 13th St, St. Louis, 314-349-2850.

THE BUNNY GANG: Tue., Feb. 7, 8 p.m., $15.

Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-2899050.

BUTCH TRUCKS AND THE FREIGHT TRAIN BAND: Sat., April 8, 8 p.m., $25-$30. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314833-3929.

THE CHAIN GANG OF 1974: Mon., Feb. 6, 8 p.m., $12. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room,

Bruiser Queen Holiday Show 8:30 p.m. Thursday, December 29.

Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Boulevard. $10. 314-726-6161.

Bruiser Queen has always mixed a little bit of sentimentality with its sass and strut, so it’s not a total shock that the garage-pop band is saying farewell to 2016 with a holiday show, accompanied by a few good friends. It was a pretty solid year for the band — founding members Morgan Nusbaum and Jason Potter picked up a new member in bassist Cory Perkins, played a feisty set at LouFest

and released a new EP. Those new songs, “Telepathic Mind” and “Rainbow in the Dark,” show off the band’s fizzy kinetic pulse as well as its quieter, more emotive moments. A forthcoming LP, Heavy High, is scheduled for 2017, but this show will help you give 2016 one more kick in the shins.

Something Old, Something New: The show will be rounded out by fellow garage-rock acolytes Brother Lee & the Leather Jackals and the revered MU330 frontman Dan Potthast.

— Christian Schaeffer

6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-

FINAL DRIVE: W/ Inimical Drive, Nevalra, As

Grand House, Sat., Jan. 7, 8 p.m., $5. Delmar

THE SKINTS: Tue., March 28, 8 p.m., $14.

4444.

Earth Shatters, Outcome of Betrayal, Sat.,

Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-

Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Del-

CHERUB: W/ The Floozies, ProbCause, Thu.,

Feb. 4, 7 p.m., $10. The Firebird, 2706 Olive

6161.

mar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

Feb. 9, 8 p.m., $20-$22. Delmar Hall, 6133

St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

MONSTER TRUCK: Sat., Dec. 24, 8 p.m., $15-

STARKILL: W/ Spellcaster, Fri., Jan. 27, 7

Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

FLEA BITTEN DAWGS: Fri., Dec. 23, 6 p.m.,

$18. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504

p.m., $12. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis,

CLOZEE: W/ Psymbionic, Lusid, Sat., Jan. 28,

free. Howard’s in Soulard, 2732 S 13th St, St.

Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

314-289-9050.

8 p.m., $15-$20. 2720 Cherokee Performing

Louis, 314-349-2850.

MU330: W/ Suzie Cue, Fri., Jan. 6, 7 p.m., $8.

STATE CHAMPS: W/ Against The Current,

Arts Center, 2720 Cherokee St, St. Louis,

GARY AUSTIN: Thu., Dec. 22, 6 p.m., free.

Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Del-

With Confidence, Don Broco, Wed., April

314-276-2700.

Howard’s in Soulard, 2732 S 13th St, St.

mar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

12, 7 p.m., $20-$23. The Ready Room, 4195

CONNECTOR HOLIDAY PARTY: W/ Minnesota,

Louis, 314-349-2850.

OLD SALT UNION: Fri., Feb. 17, 9 p.m., $10-

Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

Filibusta, Fri., Dec. 23, 8 p.m., $15-$20. 2720

GEORGE BENSON: Fri., May 12, 8 p.m., $45-

$12. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St.

STEVE AOKI: Sat., Jan. 28, 9 p.m., $30-$75.

Cherokee Performing Arts Center, 2720

$65. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd.,

Louis, 314-588-0505.

Ameristar Casino, 1 Ameristar Blvd., St.

Cherokee St, St. Louis, 314-276-2700.

St. Louis, 314-533-9900.

OTT: W/ El Lusidoro, Kevin Shpacey, Thu.,

Charles, 636-949-7777.

DADA: Sat., March 4, 8 p.m., $25. The Fire-

THE GREEN MCDONOUGH BAND: Fri., Jan. 27, 7

March 2, 8 p.m., $20. The Ready Room, 4195

TAUK: Wed., March 8, 9 p.m., $10-$12. Old

bird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

p.m., free. Hwy 61 Roadhouse and Kitchen,

Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-

DARK STAR ORCHESTRA: Sat., April 1, 8 p.m.,

34 S Old Orchard Ave, Webster Groves, 314-

PHUTUREPRIMITIVE: Fri., Feb. 10, 8 p.m., $12-

588-0505.

$25-$30. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St.

968-0061.

$15. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave,

TEMPLE: W/ Supersillyus, Fri., March 31, 7

Louis, 314-726-6161.

HEROES X VILLAINS: Sat., Jan. 21, 8 p.m., $10-

St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

p.m., $10-$15. 2720 Cherokee Performing

THE DUST COVERS: Fri., Dec. 30, 6 p.m., free.

$15. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave,

PONICZ: Fri., March 10, 8 p.m., $15-$20. The

Arts Center, 2720 Cherokee St, St. Louis,

Howard’s in Soulard, 2732 S 13th St, St.

St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Lou-

314-276-2700.

Louis, 314-349-2850.

LUKE WADE: W/ Matt McAndrew, Wed., Feb.

is, 314-833-3929.

THAT 1 GUY: Sun., Jan. 29, 8 p.m., $13-$15.

ECCLESIAST: W/ Biff G’Narly and The Reptili-

1, 8 p.m., $12-$15. Blueberry Hill - The Duck

SAM BUSH: Wed., March 1, 8 p.m., $25. Old

Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis,

ans, Out Of Orbit, RX Cigarettes, A Begin-

Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City,

Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-

314-588-0505.

ning’s End, Fri., Jan. 6, 6 p.m., $8-$10. Fubar,

314-727-4444.

588-0505.

THAT RAT FEST: DEATH TO 2016: W/ Bruiser

3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

MADELEINE PEYROUX: Sun., March 26, 7 & 9

SIX ORGANS OF ADMITTANCE: Fri., April 14,

Queen, Brother Lee & the Leather Jackals,

ELECTRIC SIX: Sun., March 19, 8 p.m., $15.

p.m., $45-$100. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th

8 p.m., $10-$12. Blueberry Hill - The Duck

Old Souls Revival, Rover, Fri., Jan. 6, 8 p.m.,

Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Del-

St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City,

$10. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave,

mar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

THE MONOCLES: W/ Slow Down Scarlett,

314-727-4444.

St. Louis, 314-833-3929.

44

RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

riverfronttimes.com

SAVAGE LOVE THE INTERN

BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: I’m having an issue with my boyfriend, and I don’t know if I am the crazy, paranoid, controlling party here. We have been together for more than a year and a half. We had troubles early on because he has a low sex drive. It made me very insecure, and I think that’s why, at the time, I became extremely jealous of his friendship with his very attractive intern. I fully owned up to my irrational jealousy and decided on my own that it was my responsibility to overcome that. She eventually stopped working with him, and they haven’t been in contact for over sex months. Fast-forward to the present. On Monday night, I asked my boyfriend what his plans were on Tuesday. (I am studying for law school exams, so I knew I wouldn’t have time to spend with him.) Around 8:30 on Tuesday, he texted me and asked how studying was going, and I asked him again what his plans were. He told me he was going to meet an “old coworker” at a bar for birthday drinks. I didn’t think twice about it. Then, around 11:30 when I got in bed to relax, I saw on my Instagram feed that his old intern posted a photo of her birthday party at the bar. I became extremely upset,

because instead of being up front and saying he was meeting HER for her birthday, he was intentionally ambiguous. I confronted him when he got home, and he admitted to being ambiguous to avoid a “freak-out.” I told him that if he’d been up front with me, I would have been jealous but I would have also been mindful of my toxic feelings and not projected them onto him.

I told him that as a result of how he handled it, I feel worse, I feel lied to and I feel insecure. He acted like I was being ridiculous. He insisted it was a last-minute invite and he didn’t want to cause any drama. We went to sleep, and I woke up feeling pretty much over it. But when he got into the shower, I looked at his phone and saw that she had actually invited him on Monday afternoon. So he lied to me when I asked him what his plans were on Tuesday, and he lied to me again when he said it was a last-minute invite. I am not upset with him for getting drinks with her — most of his friends are female and I NEVER feel jealous about them. I have a weird tic about this girl, though, and I’ve owned up to it. I don’t want to control him, but I feel like I can’t trust him now. Up until now, I’ve never once suspected him of being dishonest.

Am I Crazy?

Sex months? Interesting typo.

There’s another way to read your boyfriend’s ambiguity/obfuscation/dishonesty about Tuesday night: equal parts considerate and self-serving. Your boyfriend knew you had to study, he knew his ex-intern is a sore subject/weird tic, and by opting for ambiguity he allowed you to focus on your studies. So that was maybekindasorta considerate of him. And since one person’s “mindful of my toxic feelings” and “handling it” is another person’s “freak-out” and “invasion of privacy,” AIC, your boyfriend opted for ambiguousness/deceit-by-omission to avoid drama. And perhaps that was self-serving of him.

Want to prove to your boyfriend that he didn’t need to lie to you about spending time with his ex-intern? Retroactively bestow your blessing on Tuesday night’s birthday drinks and stop raking him over the fucking coals for his thoroughly explicable actions.

(They’re so explicable, I just explicked the shit out of them.) Yes, he lied to you. But unless you’re made of marshmallow fluff and unicorn farts, AIC, you’ve lied to him once or twice over the last year and a half. Even the “most honest” people on earth tell the odd harmless, self-serving white lie once in a while. If you want your relationship to last, AIC, you roll your eyes at the odd HSSW lie

riverfronttimes.com

45

and move on. If you want your relationship to end, you do exactly what you’re doing.

If your boyfriend hasn’t given you some other reason(s) to believe he’s cheating with his ex-intern or anyone else, AIC, drop the Tuesday night/birthday drinks subject. I would also advise you to apologize to your boyfriend for having “looked at his phone” while he was in the shower, which is both an asshole move and, yes, a sign that you might be the crazy, paranoid and controlling one in this relationship. And for the sake of your relationship — for the sake of fuck — stop following the ex-intern on Instagram.

Finally, AIC, you mention mismatched sex drives. As several commenters pointed out on my blog, where your letter appeared as the Savage Love Letter of the Day, mismatched sex drives are usually a bad sign. You talk about the libido issue in the past tense, so perhaps it’s not a problem anymore. But if the problem was resolved in a way that left you feeling neglected, insecure and frustrated, it wasn’t resolved and it constitutes a much bigger threat to your relationship than that ex-intern.

Listen to Dan’s podcast at savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

RIVERFRONT TIMES

45

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DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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100 Employment 105 Career/Training/Schools THE OCEAN CORP. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Texas 77099. Train for a new career. *Underwater Welder. Commercial Diver. *NDT/Weld Inspector. Job Placement Assistance.

Financial Aid avail for those who qualify 1.800.321.0298

167 Restaurants/Hotels/Clubs SERVERS, COOKS, DISH For upscale retirement community.

Background check & shot records required.

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190 Business Opportunities

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110 Computer/Technical

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$495-$595 314-443-4478 8700 Crocus: Near 170 & St.Charles Rock Rd Special! 1BR.$495 & 2BR.$595.

ST. CHARLES COUNTY 314-579-1201 or 636-939-3808 1 & 2 BR apts for rent. www.eatonproperties.com. Sec. 8 welcome UNIVERSITY-CITY $795 314-727-1444 2BR, new kitch, bath & carpet, C/A & heat. No pets WESTPORT/LINDBERGH/PAGE $535-$585 314-995-1912 1 MO FREE!-1BR ($535) & 2BR ($585) SPECIALS! Clean, safe, quiet. Patio, laundry, great landlord!

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Please call for more info 314-578-6132 NORTH ST. LOUIS COUNTY 314-579-1201 or 636-939-3808 2, 3 & 4BR homes for rent. eatonproperties.com. Sec. 8 welcome WEST-COUNTY 314-578-6132 Looking for a single person to share house.

Please call for more info 314-578-6132

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HAZELWOOD 233 Village Square Cntr • (314) 731-1212 FAIRVIEW HEIGHTS 10900 Lincoln Tr. • (618) 394-9479

Unless otherwise limited, prices are good through Tuesday following publication date. Installed price offers are for product purchased from Audio Express installed in factory-ready locations. Custom work at added cost. Kits, antennas and cables additional. Added charges for shop supplies and environmental disposal where mandated. Illustrations similar. Video pictures may be simulated. Not responsible for typographic errors. Savings off MSRP or our original sales price, may include install savings. Intermediate markdowns may have been taken. Details, conditions and restrictions of manufacturer promotional offers at respective websites. Price match applies to new, non-promotional items from authorized sellers; excludes “shopping cart” or other hidden specials. © 2016, Audio Express.

DECEMBER 21-27, 2016

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