Current Media Issue 18 - Personality by Current Media

contents

EDITOR’S LETTER

INSIDER STORY

Personality

3 o’clock

COVER STORY

INSIDER’S STORY

Ordinary and unique

Faces of my own

PERSPECTIVE

INSIDER’S STORY

The paradox of self-centeredness

Love yourself

PERSPECTIVE

SHORT STORY

Neither lost nor found

The glowing pier

PERSPECTIVE

ENTERTAINMENT

Replication

Leslie || Dieyi

INSIDER’S STORY

ENTERTAINMENT

A dark cellar

Lost in translation

Personality

Words by Ha Linh Illustrated by Lindsay Advoire

Words and illustrated by Thao My Words and design by Thao My

Words by Khanh Huyen Illustrated by Lindsay Advoire

Words by Ha Linh Illustrated by Quynh Trang

I have a friend, although I am not sure if “friend” is still an appropriate appellation as we no longer communicate with each other.

He is tall, strong and charming. He is talented. He must be one of the most brilliant cinematographers I have ever met with his own way of recording things. Every of his video brings the sense of the energetic youth combined with the longing for expressing his special ego.

Let me start by telling you the story of us. It was a summer day when I was an amateur photographer responsible for taking photos at a sports competition and he was one of the participants. I was busy running around with my work and he was busy competing. Not until he stood in front of my camera had he struck the attention of mine. He, with his own dreadlock hairstyle, healthy tanned skin and wide shoulders, really put me on the spot. The moment he came to me and asked me if he could see the photos that I had captured would linger forever. He, with his own warm tone of voice and his own fragrant pure grass body scent, again, put me on the spot.

His taste of music was singular. “Plastic taste” by Joji, seriously? No, there must be something more, something that created the unique him. He may be “dumb” sometimes as he kept asking me how to paraphrase the term “difficult diet”. He may be “annoying” sometimes as he never stopped asking where I was or what I was doing for nothing.

Days in days out, we started talking a lot and our conversations seemed endless, it lasted from early morning till midnight, every day. We shared our crazy as well as uncanny hobbies together. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions and experiences when being with him. And it is said, “an emotional roller coaster is worth the ride”.

He may be “childish” sometimes as he made 10 phone calls just to announce to me that it had beautiful sunset that day. He may be “bland” at times as he laughed crazily because of the image of a “glowing dog”. But it is him. ___

If I had to use one word to describe him, it would be “nonchalant”, as he always looked amazing but it seemed like he did not put effort into it at all. He did not need to try hard to be “cool”.

“Nature has given a unique identity to all of us”. Each of us is different from others not only physically, but also mentally.

It is true that we have something called “ideals” or “role models”. Their achievements are undeniably amazing and there is nothing wrong with getting inspiration from them to shape up our lives. However, Albert Pinkham Ryder once said: “imitation is not inspiration, and inspiration only can give birth to a work of art. The least of man’s original emanation is better than the best of borrowed thought.” Don’t you notice that you, yourself, are also unique with your own talents and experiences?

It is hard to define the term “cool” as well as point out the qualities that make somebody “cool”. To some people, it is a “leather-coatwearing” or “motorcycle-riding rebel”. For others, it is a girl who always gets the top scores in class or a boy who wears ripped jeans and burns the stage. Whatever definition you have for yourself, it is undeniable that those people are different and they are considered “cool” because they own a certain “something” that makes them stand out. From my perspective, “something” can just simply be one’s self. And sadly, there are people who (will) never notice how “cool” they are when being themselves. ___

People change, and I will not say that it is a bad thing as it happens quite usually. Also, I will not say that his alteration is bad, though it actually is in some aspects. One of the saddest things to realize is that certain people are just not who they used to be and they will never be aware of how “cool” they were. What a pity.

We talked less, our cheerful and concordant conversations soon vanished. I hardly meet him at school, it seems like the only way to see him is through some of my friend’s social media account.

“When inspiration dies, imitation thrives” - Darby Bannard

He has a new group of friends. He has a new fashionable undercut hairstyle with new “nerdy” glasses that (sadly) cover most of his face. He has nose-piercing. He goes to the bars more often and started using some kinds of “things” that he used to declare that he would never try. He no longer goes to the gym to keep his muscular body, which used to be one of his characteristics.

___ I remembered the first day we met, he was… “cool”. Even when it is a childish way to describe the superior students out of the bunch. He definitely used to be that “cool” person who was not only out, but best of the bunch.

I still remember him filming everything around and sitting for hours to edit videos with his passionate eyes. But now, he does not release new videos anymore. He has changed. And I would be happy if he was happy with his changes. It is just he let all the things I love about him die, and I am not ready to get used to it. Wait, he looks like one of the men in his group. Since when has he been into that kind of hats? ___

What if someday we no longer talk to each other? - he asked.

What?

Then I would be really, really sad.

Words by Lan Trang Illustrated by Nguyen Thao

Words by Minh Anh Illustrated by by Ngoc Ha

Love Yourself - To those who hardly have confidence in themselves -

Words bybyHa Words Ha Le Le Illustrations bybykewzi Illustrated kewzi 26

eacefully sitting inside Tranquil Cafe - my most favorite hideaway coffee destination of all time, listening to the sound of heavy raindrops and enjoy a cup of hot caramel macchiato, I am in love with my own self. Completely.

I was desperate because of it. It took me a couple of months to actually find out that I could no longer live such a harmful life, like this. Communication is the key to life. I had always understood that simple thing, but I was just, in the middle of nowhere. I hardly knew where to start. And luckily, at that exact point of time, came the answers, for all my questions.

Back to the old days, I used to see myself as an obnoxious individual. That feeling started flourishing in me 2 years ago when I became a freshman at RMIT University. I never considered myself as an outstanding individual in a crowd, ever. Therefore, being thrown in an active international environment as RMIT, indeed, wore out all of my energy. I was overwhelmed when surrounded by too many people. I never dared to express my opinions as I got worried they would be criticized. I felt suffocating.

That was when I accidentally came across the speech of Kim Nam Joon (leader of BTS - the worldwide famous Korean boy group) at the United Nations’ conference. His story was about his journey to redefine and love himself. It hit me, to be honest, extremely hard. I found myself, in his every single word. ‘I began to worry about what other people thought of me, and started seeing myself through their eyes.’

And I chose to run away. Days in days out, I just went to school when I had classes and returned home immediately as soon as they were finished. I was always retracting into my shell, trying hard to avoid any potential interactions with schoolmates and staying away from anyone who offered a helping hand. I felt insecure and constantly dipped myself into negative thoughts like “What if they do not like me?”, “What if my actions or my words annoy them?”. Consequently, I refused to give them a chance, to actually understand me. When people were having desired social lives, I was surrounded by loneliness and gloom.

Yes, I did. ‘I just tried to jam myself into the molds that other people made. Soon, I began to shut out my own voice and started to listen to the voices of others.’ Yes, me too. That was exactly me, back then. Yes, I had been ceaselessly afraid to be myself. I started to be influenced by how people felt and thought about me, I began to deprive myself of staying true. I did what other people wished me to do, I ignored all my own desire. I stopped listening to the voice of my heart and followed others.

Hardly had partners in my university life, I, of course, had an abundance of spare time, to think about nonsense things and get angry with myself unreasonably. I spent almost 24 hours a day indulging in jealousy.

At that time, I completely got lost in my own life. No hope. No confidence. No faith. No idea what to do. Therefore, when listening to Nam Joon’s speech, I suddenly felt that my difficulties were heard, my obstacles were understood. I was not alone. This speech was so timely that it actually raised me up among the darkest days.

‘Why can she make so many friends?’ ‘Why are they having so much fun here?’ ‘Why do they seem very happy with their groups of friends, whereas I am depressed with myself?’

‘Like most people, I’ve made many and plenty of mistakes in my life. I have many faults, and I have many more fears, but I’m gonna embrace myself as hard as I can, and I’m starting to love myself gradually just little by little.’

My mind was stuck with thousands of unanswered “Why”. I was upset all day long. Sounds pretty stupid and incomprehensible, right? I let nobody walk into my life, and then,

That was how he overcame all his fears and got rid of every sorrow. He chose to love himself.

will stay. Such a little precious lesson yet has cost me months to deeply comprehend.

Then I started to question myself. ‘As he had lived a life like me, and now he is living happily and enjoying his life to the fullest, should I try his way?’ He has decided to change, little by little, day by day. He learned to love all versions of himself, embrace his own personality, and accepted all his flaws and mistakes as a part of his life.

I begin to open up more, smile more, and proudly live true to myself. I share my interests, listen to others’ stories and no longer mind revealing my real personalities. And for the first time ever, after 1 year in RMIT, I have actually managed to make friends with several people. Not so many, but enough to comfort me and cheer me up whenever I just want to collapse. It is lucky to have someone by your side and listen to all your crazy pieces of mind. I no longer have to suffer everything alone.

I also want to give myself a chance, to be loved, too. I seemed to realize something. If I cannot love myself, then who can? Hiding my actual self was the biggest and tallest wall that blocked others from stepping into my life. How can people get closer unless I open my heart? Just let my stories heard, let my soul comprehended, and eventually, the real ones, who appreciate me for my own true values,

I have been leading my life in so much a satisfactory way. If you are in my shoes, I have for you. Be actually who you nature take its course. Never and underestimate yourself, as appreciate it if you cannot.

some words are, and let try to hide nobody can

‘I have come to love myself for who I am, for who I was, and for who I hope to become.’ (Kim Nam Joon)

29 30

Words by Marc Dinh Illustrated by Lindsay Advoire

LOST IN TRANSLATION The Uttermost of Loneliness

Words by Quynh Huong Illustrated by Huyen Linh “Does it get easier?”, asked Charlotte.

contract at the end of his career, the eyes of a man who knew his family happiness was going down on the edge, but could not do anything to save it. Those eyes were emotionless, but somehow the gaze could bring you a touch of imperial sympathy since they were apparent enough to reflect our speculation inside.

“No. Yes. It gets easier”, Bob answered, and in a moment he hesitated between two possibilities. One was before he met Charlotte, the other one was living in the moment. Two existing differences somehow found a pure connection towards each other, therefore, changed the definition of loneliness itself.

Both Charlotte and Bob were lost, in every single meaning, desolated in the city of lights, where traditions and modernity conflict, with an ocean of humans but still can’t fit in any. Both Charlotte and Bob were in the stage which people referred to “life crisis”, when people stayed vague about everything. She left everything just to follow her husband to Japan, he created a temporary escape for every sufferings back in his homeland, thought everything was going to be better, unfortunately, language distinctness compelled their minds forlornly. When all was about to collapse, Charlotte found her way to Bob at a small jazz bar inside the hotel. Two lonely souls were affixed, not by affection nor copulation,

What does loneliness feel like, and what does it look like? Each individual has different perceptions of it, starting from being lost in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world, feeling intimidated and confused about the destinations they are heading to, or it is just simply a feeling that lingers every time a loved one leaves. Solitude oscillates in various aspects, but it was genuinely described through Charlotte’s eyes, ones that had no feelings within, just an empty look directed to the window frame from up on the 35th floor. They were the same to Bob’s eyes, the eyes to an outof-date actor who’s got a two million dollars

between them existed plain empathy. Each existence required another shared compassion, therefore each continuation leaned on another in order to be felt. “The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you”, said Bob, looking into Charlotte’s eyes, and his eyes were filled with affinity. Both Charlotte and Bob were lost, and obviously, lonely, but they were not sad. Between sadness and solitariness lies a fine line, by which existed an enormous difference only recognised by singular existence that revolve in divergent trajectories. Sadness is one of the most fundamental emotions since birth, but humans were not born lonely, neither did we choose the path of seclusion yet it still manages to find the way toward us. The dilemma of this theory is that when we drown ourselves in it, the feeling will unnoticedly turn into a type of indulgence, eventually, imprisoned by a trail of thoughts. It is like waiting for a train that would never come, in the middle of an airport. Charlotte was lonely, yet she was still waiting for an interference of another idiosyncrasy, waiting for the first ray of dawn to light up her eyes. Bob was lost, his eyes were lighten up by the camera lights during his commercial shot, quickly flamed up a nostalgic touch of old times’ memories, then immediately extinguished as fast as it bloomed. Throughout each scene breathes a glimpse of melancholy, although not a single drop of tears was shed. How magical can compassion be, when an existence could spot a similar presence just by a single look to his back. Two planets collided on a summer night, brought back life to the dying cores. What is the uttermost of loneliness? It is the comfortable shell we are hiding in, living with our minds deceiving cognition which constrains the heart to think that everything is fine. ‘Loneliness can become an acid that slowly eats away at you’, fatal yet serene.

that void still existed empathy even when it was fading. Adventures were made, conversations were endlessly constructed, two souls were too translucent so they reflected each, so-called a contingency of newborn colors that lie within the mirror. The true color of loneliness scatters aside with happiness, constructed two pieces of a whole apprehension, therefore it always discovers an affiliation which leads to another half, creates a process called equilibrium.

Humans differ from all by one factor: Altruism. Just by the touch of an eye, we may know what others think, how they feel, therefore creates a connection. Two individuals were on the edge of collapse, but benevolence held them back together. Their loved ones were abandoning them, both his and hers, in an infinite void, but in

Yes, it does get easier.

“

Everybody in this world is different, you’re going to meet people who don’t look like you, think like you, or even feel like you. This world is filled with so many different colours and shapes, so many different thoughts and feelings. You should never expect anyone else to be the same as you and you should never expect yourself to be the same as anybody else. But everyone can have so much fun learning about each other and celebrating one and another.

”

- C. JoyBell C.

credit EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

LEAD DESIGNER

Tran Ha Linh

Phan Thao Linh

WRITERS

DESIGNERS

Tran Ha Linh

Nguyen Huyen Linh

Nguyen Thao My

Tran Thi Khanh Huyen

Truong Quynh Trang

Nguyen Thi Minh Anh

Nguyen Phuong Thao

Nguyen Lan Trang

Ngo Ngoc Ha

Le Hoang Yen

Nguyen Cong Minh Quang

Nguyen Ha Le Dinh Quang Minh Nguyen Phuong Thao Nguyen Quynh Huong

Current Media is a free, student-run publication for the RMIT Hanoi community. Please note that the views expressed in these pages are the personal views of the writers, and do not necessarily reflect the views of RMIT management.

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