MIND Body Spirit
FEBRUARY 2015
SPECIAL SECTION
Mother-daughter body image PAGE 8
Helping kids cope with stress PAGE 6
Fit exercise into your day PAGE 2
Sleep, baby, sleep PAGE 4
2013 • RMPARENT.COM
mind body spirit
Redefine the workout
Finding ways to fit in exercise despite a busy schedule LY NN U. NICHOLS
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hether you’re a new mom who just had a baby or a veteran with older kids, it’s hard to find time to exercise. One solution is to redefine exercise and workouts. TAKE A PRACTICAL APPROACH TO EXERCISE Throw away the old notion that true exercise is going to the gym, attending a class, or going on a long, uninterrupted bike ride or run. Instead, fit exercise into stolen moments: Briskly walk the perimeter of the field as you wait for soccer practice to end; walk the stairs during your lunch break or do sit ups while you play with your baby on the rug. Don’t worry about broken time. Just aim for 30 minutes total exercise each day. Train yourself to look for small opportunities to sneak in exercise and simply exercise more days than not. When you do tasks, do them with more zest. It can be anything from feverishly raking to briskly walking the dog. If you’re a new mom, make your baby the focus of a work out. Do modified push-ups over your baby and touch noses or pop in a Pilates or yoga tape while she naps. The easiest way to start exercising is to simply walk. While walking might not be enough to tone your body, it’s a great way to start shedding pounds. Once you’ve established a walking routine, start adding in short jogs in the middle of your walk. Challenge yourself to make it to the next stop sign or to run the hill rather than walk. Each time, add a little more jogging. Before you know it, you’ll be jogging more than walking. A great trick to getting out the door is to simply tell yourself, ‘I only have to walk around the block.’ Once you get out you’ll most likely feel like going a little farther. Another good trick is to make exercise a social 2 | RMPARENT
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outing by enlisting a buddy to go on walks with or meet at the gym, pool or park on a set day/time each week. COMBINE CARDIO AND STRENGTH EXERCISES The best way to get back into shape is to not only move your body but strengthen it as well. That’s where weight-bearing exercises come in. While watching television or reading the paper do floor exercises or use small hand weights for bicep curls, chest flies, lunges and squats. Don’t think you have to do a full workout. If you just have five minutes, do three sets of 12 bicep curls and leave it at that. Choose another body part next time. Combine cardio workouts with strengthening workouts each week for best results. FOCUS ON YOUR CORE Pregnancy, new and old, does a number on our core muscles—the abdomen, lower back and pelvic muscles. New moms are often most concerned
about reshaping their tummies, so they focus on sit-ups. But there are better exercises out there. Whittle your middle and strengthen your core with: Bicycle Crunches—we all know what crunches look like. Here’s the bicycle version. On your back, raise your legs with knees bent. With hands gently clasped behind your head reach a shoulder toward an opposite hip, pumping legs in and out. Keep your arms nice and wide and vary your pace from slow to fast. Planks—if you’ve done Pilates or yoga, this is the one you dread, yet love. Stretch your body out, face down, resting on your elbows and toes. Keep a nice straight line on your back. Hold 15 seconds and repeat, pulling core muscles toward your belly button. Increase seconds, as you get stronger. Start right now. Set down this paper and do 20 jumping jacks or 10 wall pushups. Do it again in an hour and so on and watch these little efforts add up to a more fit you.
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mind body spirit
Sleep, baby, sleep!
Relax and get into a good nighttime routine LY NN U. NICHOLS
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ight after night of broken sleep takes its toll on new moms and dads who never had the chance to catch up after delivery. Poor sleep with infants is inevitable, but there are some things you can do to improve your chances for a good night’s sleep. THE FIRST SIX WEEKS—DO YOUR BEST TO GET BY Newborns are not biologically equipped to sleep for more than a few hours at a stretch until six weeks of life, and until then, don’t know the difference between day and night. At six weeks body temperatures drop with nighttime sleep, making sleep periods longer. At 12 to 14 weeks hormones shift, helping to end colic and set internal light and temperature clocks (our circadian rhythm) that help regulate sleep. At this point, babies are more able to sleep longer stretches— even through the night—but not all do. In the meantime, try to relax as much as you can about broken sleep. It’s not pleasant, but it won’t last forever. Instead of thinking, ‘Tomorrow is going to be so hard’ after the fourth wake-up in a night say to yourself, ‘At least I slept a few solid hours.’ Yes, it’s a mind game but you’ll feel better if you play it. Remember, babies can’t form habits until three months of age, so do whatever it takes to soothe her to sleep. Hold her, rock her, put her in a swing, or take her for a drive. You get a free pass for a while on creating bad habits. NAP TO CATCH UP You can catch up somewhat by napping during the day and sleeping in on weekends. While broken sleep is not ideal, it may not be as bad as it seems. If you are sleeping at least a few twohour stretches, you are getting some restorative, or REM sleep. Also, our brains know we need REM sleep, so when we are sleep deprived we can fall into REM sleep faster to catch up. 4 | RMPARENT
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TRY THE 5 SS Baby expert Harvey Karp recommends parents use the 5 Ss to soothe their babies to sleep—swaddling, swinging, shushing noises, sucking and side-lying. Swaddle your baby like a burrito with his hands tight by his sides. We think it’d be confining, but it’s not because it mimics the womb. With swinging, think of it more as jiggling rather than a back-andforth motion. Shushing noises can be mimicked with white noise machines at night and keeping the house noisy during the day. It goes against our instincts, but newborns sleep better when it’s noisy. Studies show that in the womb mom’s body noises are about 90 decibels, that’s like having a vacuum cleaner two feet from your head. Give your baby a pacifier or encourage hand sucking. Finally, side-lying and tummy time while awake decreases his startle reflex. START EARLY TO ESTABLISH A SLEEPY-TIME ROUTINE While you can’t make a baby sleep lon-
ger than she is ready to, and all babies’ sleep needs differ, you can encourage your baby to sleep with a pacifier, music, proper lighting and white noise. Try different techniques to see what seems to soothe your baby. By going through the same routine each night you can train your baby that it is bedtime. At three months, babies begin to recognize that a warm bath followed by a diaper change followed by soft music and low lights with mom or dad singing, reading or rubbing means sleepy time. Also, keep her room dark at night. A night-light is fine, but keeping lights dimmed helps support your baby’s internal circadian rhythm and promote sleep. For daytime naps, use dim lights to cue sleep but let some light in so your baby knows the difference between night and day. Yes, being sleep deprived is hard. And while it seems like it will last forever, it won’t. Before you know it you will wake up and realize you slept a whole six hours. And it will feel glorious.
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mind body spirit
Calm Down c op e
s d i k g n i Help s s e r t s with Lynn U. Nichols
I
s your pre-teen or teen extra irritable these days? Before you blame it on changing hormones, consider what’s going on in his life or the rest of your family’s lives. It might be stress. With school, sports, extra-curriculars and a social life, kids have a lot to juggle. “Irritability, disruptive behavior at home or school, trouble sleeping, and changes in appetite are all signs of stress in kids,” says Lisa Whittaker, PA-C, at Colorado Health Medical Group’s Family Health Care of the Rockies. Other tell-tale signs that stress might be getting the best of your kids are poor grades or changes in their social lives. “If you see grades decline from their usual baseline, that’s a sign that something stressful might be going on in their lives,” Whittaker adds. 6 | RMPARENT
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WHAT’S EATING AT YOUR CHILD? The first step in helping your child relax is identifying what’s causing stress in her life. Step back and take an honest look at your home life. Are you going through a hard time financially? Have you recently moved, or are you and your spouse experiencing conflicts? “Teens may not admit or show
that they are stressed by marital discord or financial problems, but they are,” Whittaker says. That’s because teens are highly invested in being calm, collected and projecting the image that their lives are normal and ordinary, just like everyone else’s. “But financial problems might mean that a teen doesn’t get a car like other teens or he has to work a job while going
Healthy Families Program keeps families well
UCHealth’s Poudre Valley Hospital invites families in our community to join Healthy Families, a program that provides easy access to health, fitness, safety and parenting information and services. Whether you’re expecting your first child or are already busy raising a family, Healthy Families is a great way to maintain healthy living habits. It’s free to join and you’ll receive access to pertinent health information, a bi-monthly newsletter, discounts on wellness classes and a gift. To join, visit www.pvhs.org/healthyfamilies or call 970-495-7500.
to school to pay for car insurance, a phone, or new clothes,” adds Whittaker. That’s not saying you have to run out and buy a car for your teen, but do acknowledge that financial hardship is difficult for all family members and get your teen’s input on the situation. Simply acknowledging financial stress, even if it can’t be easily remedied, goes a long way in reassuring your teen. If you notice grades are slipping, consider the causes. “Maybe bullying is happening at school. If so, contact the school and figure out a plan to address it. Perhaps a learning disability is emerging or becoming more apparent as your child moves to a higher grade—if so, consider getting some psychological testing done,” Whittaker advises. Kids with undiagnosed ADHD experience more generalized anxiety as they grow older and expectations increase, especially in middle and high school. If you suspect your child has attention issues, look in to it sooner rather than later—solutions can be put in place, like more time on tests and extra cues from teachers. “With ADHD, kids are more distractible. During class or tests they hear the clock ticking or someone tapping a pencil and they get pulled off task. This affects their test performance,” Whittaker says. She advises parents continue getting their kids annual well-child checks even in later years. Doctors and physician assistants explore emotional, social and academic issues with pre-teens and teens and can catch signs of stress or learning disabilities before they become problematic. They also watch for an onset of mental health conditions, such as panic attacks and anxiety in older teens. Granted, life carries its own level of stress. As kids grow, so do their responsibilities. “There is a heightened level of pressure today for kids to not only achieve good grades but also be involved in lots of activities, sports, and volunteer work so they can get into a good college. Yet it’s a balance—some of these outside groups also offer support for kids,” Whittaker adds. Take a look at your child’s schedule. Is there a balance between activities and down time? Does she ever have time to relax? If not, it might be time to help her pri-
oritize her activities and drop ones that are no longer enjoyable or valuable. Kids also feel stress with changes in friendships and social circles. Feeling disjointed from peers on and off for a bit is okay, but when you see your child isolating from his regular friends, always wanting to be alone and often seeming upset, it may be time to request help from the school counselor or another professional. HELPING KIDS DE-STRESS One of the best ways to ease your child’s mind is making it a point to check in with her every day. When kids know someone cares, whether they are stressed, happy, sad or struggling with grades, they do better. A teen may brush you off in her quest for independence, but sending the message that you care, and that you are always there for her to talk, is something she will carry with her like a badge of courage as she moves through her day. “Check in daily to see where your child is emotionally and academically. Kids with good parental support have better self-esteem and achieve more,” Whittaker adds. Another way to cut kids’ stress is to encourage activities that are
solely for fun and relaxation. Help your child figure out what burns off stress—sometimes it’s a sport like skateboarding, running or basketball, and sometimes it’s a quiet activity like reading. Send the message that it’s just as important to fit in time to relax as it is to fit in daily obligations, like studying, volunteering and working. We all do better when we know what to expect. Especially for younger kids, routines are calming. “Kids with structure are generally less stressed,” Whittaker adds. Try to build in regular bedtimes and bedtime routines, eat dinner together as a family and review weekly schedules so kids know what’s coming. Finally, be aware of your own stress. Make a conscious effort to take a deep breath before entering the house and imagine leaving your bundle of stress at the door. Whether you try to hide it or not, your kids will pick up on your stress and may take responsibility for it where none is due. Take care of yourself and find your calm. After all, as parents we are always teaching and watching you navigate stress is a powerful lesson for your kids. UCHealth sponsored this article.
reating headaches and stomachaches T caused by stress
Dr. Emily Anderson-Elder, a family medicine physician with the Windsor Medical Clinic describes a teen patient who came in complaining of chronic stomachaches: “She was having trouble at school, experimenting with drugs and was feeling depressed. Her stress showed itself as stomach pain.” Anxiety and depression are known producers of stomach pain. “When kids come in with stomach pain I encourage the parents to chat with them and explore areas of stress in their lives. I recommend behavioral therapy if kids are experiencing a lot of stress,” Anderson-Elder says. Learning to manage stress can calm down their lives and hence, their stomachs. A child’s stress can also show up in her head as real, physical pain. Tension headaches are a dull pain versus a throbbing one, like with migraines. There’s a pressing tension on both sides of the head or in the forehead. According to familydoctor.org, tension headaches often begin slowly and gradually, and they often start in the middle of the day. “If kids carry stress in their necks they might feel a tension headache at the base of the neck,” adds Anderson-Elder who likes to treat tension headaches with relaxation and not medicine, when possible. Stretching to loosen neck muscles can help. So can a heat pad at the back of the neck and a hot shower. With headaches, rest is best. Offer a cool, wet washcloth for your child’s forehead. Encourage him to sleep as this often alleviates a headache. If he hasn’t eaten recently, get him a healthy snack. Make sure he’s getting lots of liquids as dehydration can cause headaches, too. When administering over-the-counter pain medicine for headaches, the Mayo Clinic advises to not go over the recommended dose and to not give it more than three days a week. Doing so more frequently can trigger rebound headaches.
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mind body spirit
My mother, my mirror
Reflect a positive body image for your daughter
T
LY NN U. NICHOLS
here’s a good chance that how you feel about your body is the same way your daughter feels about hers. If you criticize yourself in the mirror or talk about losing 10 pounds, your daughter is absorbing messages about beauty: Thin is best. Looking pretty matters. I am not good enough as I am. Research has found that mothers who constantly talk about being fat are more likely to produce girls who think they’re fat, regardless of whether or not either is overweight. In Dove’s Real Girls, Real Pressure 2008 study on self-esteem, seven out of 10 girls thought they didn’t measure up when it came to looks, school performance or relationships. The study also found that girls’ self-esteem is more tied to how they view their own body than to what they actually weigh. When mothers have a realistic body image, their modeling is healthy. Healthy modeling is most important during pre-teen years when 91 percent of girls 8 to 12 look to their mothers for answers when they feel bad about themselves. Fortunately, there are a few ways to create a health body image for yourself and your daughter. SHOW BODY CONFIDENCE Stop making negative comments about how your clothes fit and what your hair looks like. Forget about hiding your least favorite body part. Instead, flaunt what you’ve got! Dance, take a movement class, wear a bathing suit in public. Show your daughter that you are comfortable in your own skin and that beauty comes in many forms. SEE FOOD AS A FRIEND Try not to skip meals or count calories. Dieting has never been shown to have lasting results when you feel deprived. Take a 8 | RMPARENT
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matter-of-fact view that food is fuel versus a tonic to fix a bad day. Follow the age-old rule about moderation to teach that treats now and then are fine, and that dessert isn’t always a given. CHALLENGE MEDIA MESSAGES Girls receive an onslaught of messages from the media—be thin, be sexy, get the guy, have the perfect body, hair, face, and so on. The result? A belief that looks matter, above all else. Hence, Dove created a series of videos called onslaught (go to You Tube and type in Dove Evolution and Dove Onslaught and view other videos related to girls’ self-esteem and body image). Watch these with your daughter to show her how nearly every photo in fashion magazines is retouched to remove wrinkles and blemishes, make eyes, lips
and hair bigger, lengthen necks and remove extra leg, hip, butt, belly, and arm weight. Show her just how elusive beauty really is. Then pull out a magazine and laugh at how ridiculous the images really are. Don’t stop with magazines, move on to television shows, movies, billboards, and keep going. Challenge these messages for your son, too. Point out how obvious it all is as a marketing ploy and how limiting it can be for women who are much more than their looks. Speaking of sons, boys are not immune to a poor body image. They also get the message that looks matter, often above all else. Boys today make up 25 percent of all cases of anorexia. While girls might turn to eating disorders out of a desire to be ultra-thin, boys may do so to achieve zero body fat. So next time you look in the mirror, realize you are a mirror yourself. Your daughter—and even your son—are watching for clues on how they should feel about their own body. Reflect a positive message.
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