Robert henhaffer writers mind final portfolio

Robert Henhaffer Writers Mind Portfolio Professor Delhagen I’ve learned so many valuable things from the assigned readings and our discussions in class. Before this class, great literature and poetry was a mystery to me. The authors and poets who composed these pieces were doing nothing short of magic. After this class, I can see a little clearer into the level of skill required. I was given a fascinating glimpse into the minds of writers. One of the first and most profound things I learned was the purpose of writers and their place in the world. I can’t imagine learning anything more affirming than understanding how to find the rhetorical situation in a moment and respond accordingly as a writer. I was on the edge of my seat most classes.

Calibration Assignment The first assignment we received was the Calibration assignment. Although writing is important to me I’ve never thoroughly examined and studied my own writing. This assignment felt more therapeutic than homework. It was simply pulling an already written work out from the recent past and try to remember the rhetorical situation that inspired it, the motivations, the tools I used to express my ideas and finally examine any bad habits I may have. The assignment was productive because it allowed me to give an honest look at my writing. In class we shared similar bad habits and it felt good to know others struggled with the same things I did.

Parody Assignment Our second assignment, the Parody assignment allowed me to examine what, in my life, was mundane enough to justify turning into a parody. Well nothing is more mundane that an average work day. I chose a day at work because the setting was so concrete and relatable that it provided plenty of material to describe abstractly without actually referring to the specific job.

As the assignment request I used inflated language to describe to the reader what is happening internally for me on any given day. The process was creatively liberating because the point when writing about the scenario was to over inflate the language with description and detail. I felt I could expand thoroughly on all the details I wished too.

Shadow Poem This assignment felt incredible to write. I was never asked by an assignment to take a more honest look at myself. It allowed a safe environment to explore difficult topics while still providing helpful feedback. I had to ask myself “what don’t I like talking about even with my closest friends?” My closest friends are recovering addicts themselves so addiction and the stigma it comes with isn’t really taboo or shameful for me anymore. So I had to be honest and true to the assignment and refrain from making a standard poem about addiction. What’s tough to talk about even with my friends is crying in front of authority figures. Talking about that is uncomfortable and leaves me completely vulnerable to the listener. According to the assignment, that was the perfect topic for a poem. So I wanted to make sure the focus stayed on the shame of crying in front of police officers rather than develop the stigma that comes with addiction.

Memento Assignment The memento assignment was difficult because everyone I interviewed didn’t fully understand what I needed from them. I asked for a list of qualities that don’t have to be good and a fact based description of a scene in which that quality was illustrated. I basically received back what I’d describe as letters of recommendation addressed to you. So I discussed it with a friend who seemed to understand the project the best and I found two scenes where he could recall in great detail that we both experienced and grew. I interviewed him over the phone about each and asked him questions about everything; specific dialog, the furniture in rooms, colors and styles of

cars or outfits, emotions felt and perceived. I took our collaboration of facts and wrote out two scenes which I juxtaposed together.

Project Revision For my revision I chose my poem “Cops Just Watch.” I picked the shadow poem because it was the most personal and I felt like it had more problems to attend to than any other assignment. When writing the assignment I imagined my audience was just you, a Professor of the Writing Arts, and my classmates. Although I felt somewhat nervous because of how revealing the poem is, as soon as we started sharing our poems I realized we are all airing dirty laundry and that the poetry critiques were a safe place with no judgments. I was happy I wrote honestly because the class was receptive to all the poetry we covered. But to make clear, I assumed my audience while writing the piece was an education seeking audience who probably appreciates poetry and who can receive the subject matter with an open mind.

Besides the grammar issues there were some small tweaks that needed to be addressed within the poem. As suggested I rewrote the line “Did I kill him or will he live.” I agreed with the suggestion. To have italics and quotes within this poem is not necessarily important. At the time I was writing the draft I wanted to differentiate between my own personal thoughts and dialog. But in the end, this doesn’t add anything to the poem. Whether said aloud or thought, it is of no consequence to the rhetorical situation. So for the sake of consistency I removed the Italics and added quotes. Regardless, the question works better if it’s asked aloud.

The line “The academy does not train for people who are hooked and scared” seems to be under scrutiny. I felt it was necessary to use the word “hooked” because it added to the fishing metaphors within the poem. It also would help characterize the narrator as someone with no control over their addiction. But at a second glance the line seems poorly constructed and an

obvious quick fix. I’m reverting back to the original line “The academy does not train for that” because it illustrates the narrators maturing empathetic look at the police. Hopefully the reader sees a broken young man in a hospital bed across from an awkward police officer and how both, in this moment, are equally incapable of something.

The next issue to be handled was the grammatically confusing line “I sat with red and blue lights flashing in my car.” I see after your comment how it doesn’t make sense to write the lights as “in” my car considering their from the officers squad car behind me. I ran through many possibilities when rewriting this moment in the poem. I decided what was important was, in the fewest words possible; explain that the narrator is pulled over on the side of the road. My instinct was to describe the lights darting from the houses in the neighborhood, to the streets, to inside my car and back out into the neighborhood again over and over. But this description was much too lengthy and had the possibility of being mistaken for symbolism. Simplicity would solve the problem. I settled for the line “After finally getting clean, I sit in a car waiting with red and blue lights behind me.” It’s a quick clean moment that sets a scene. Also to be considered from this line was to write “my car” or “the car” or “a car.” I chose “a car” because it doesn’t make the reader feel as safe as saying “this is my car I’m sitting in with cops behind me.” I thought it valuable, just for a moment to let the reader wonder if I own the car I am being pulled over in.

The biggest issue brought to my attention is the problem with the last line “the squirm.”

Regardless of my revisions I wanted that phrase to stay intact because it does so much for the poem. Your suggestion to change the last four stanzas into present tense was a scary one. I was weary of changing so much of the poem so late in the game. But this class has taught me to embrace the editing process, to not be afraid of cutting text I am fond of when it hinders the greater purpose of the poem. So I methodically converted the stanzas into the present tense and

walked away from my computer. I came back with a fresh mind and read the poem aloud and found the revision enhanced the reader’s experience. To bring the audience in the present tense at the end of the poem makes the scene more urgent. Hopefully, doing this lets the final line strike harder.

Conclusion Before this class I had absolutely no editing process. I would write passages in notebooks and never touch them again. I thought the editing process was the scariest most tedious activity one could do with one’s creative energy. I avoided it because my confidence as a writer was so high I wouldn’t think I’d be able to admit to myself I’d make edit worthy mistakes. Basically I had a huge ego when it came to writing and if I looked back to be critical of it, the whole illusion would shatter. This class and your instruction gave me a safe and productive place to not only shatter that illusion but embrace editing as part of the creative process. This class helped me realize that if I felt a rhetorical situation was worth responding to, than my response deserves to be a well-structured, finely polished product.

(Revised Poem Below)

Robert Henhaffer Writers mind Cops Just Watch When we were young and Didn’t need them yet, We hated cops.

I believed I was better Than the pigs in squad cars.

They eyeballed and judged, we glanced and mocked.

Since then I’ve cried three times In their presence: first while handcuffed, led from the house of my best friend.

“Did I kill him or will he live?”

They--more familiar with death or eager to sober me with grief-would not answer. years later when paramedics cradled me back into water in hopes my gills would take oxygen again and the Artificial adrenaline rang my ears, an officer stood by the hospital bed as I covered my face sobbing.

“Don’t worry kid. We’re only pressing charges, You’re not going to jail.”

“It’s not the charges officer, I just can’t stop.”

He stood silent and awkward.

The academy does train that.

After finally getting clean, I sit in a car waiting with red and blue lights behind me.

An officer and his flashlight inspect

and questions all of me all at once.

I reduce to the lying worm again.

Who can’t get high and dig down in my dirt to hide.

My soft frail skin open and burdened by the weight of the fisherman’s hook “You lied about your last arrest.

What else are you lying about?”

He spoke as if he was casting me Out to black water.

“I’m ashamed and just want to go home.”

I dangle from his line, punctured.

A polished badge, Hair trimmed high and tight, hero’s posture, And the phallic 9 millimeter Ever present, he watches the squirm.