SO LONG A ND T H A NK S FO R A LL T H E F ISH !
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J O U RN O BO O K T H E VI RT UA L C H I N E S E WA L L N OW W H AT ? W H AT D O E S E YP H AVE I N ST O R E FO R YO U ? T H E C L A S H : BL O N D E S VS. B RU N E T T E S CO MMI T T E E A RT I C L E S W I N D OWS NA ST Y’S G O S S I P CO RN E R E YPO E T RY RZ E SZÓW ’S F I N E ST ME MO R IE S T U RN ME O F F E U C A L YPS E : J U D G E ME N T DAY E YP RO C K A N T H E M
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JOURNOBOOK Pick up lines
BERNET ‘Can I ask you something?’ ‘Sure’ ‘Is your father a thief?’ ‘Er… Well no.’ ‘Because he must have stolen all the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.’
KATARZYNA Just imagine yourself in a really posh, big city nightclub. You are dancing, surrounded by lots of beautiful people. Body next to body. You feel a little bit tired, a little bit thirsty, you come to the bar and just wait for a bartender. Suddenly, a pretty girl comes to you and asks “Do you want to share my banana?”. Works? Every time man. That’s my style.
KATERINA Since I’m not a huge fan of pick up lines, I am not going to present you with some splendid and sophisticated sentence like my fellow journalists. However, I am going to provide you with an ultimate line for the disputants of such things that will still make your crush melt like ice and here it goes, simple and effective. „You’re so hot that you made me forget my pick up line.”
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KHALID “Hi there, so what about it, wanna go down? With me? Together? The two of us? All alone? To Central Park? Catch some air?” *talking to his dog* Then randomly, an absolutely astonishing, beauty passes by: “...” Absolutely astonishing beauty is out of sight. *Sigh* “I should’ve said hi.”
MAJA Would you come with me, please? If you don’t mind ;P That’s only if I really would have to say anything; I prefer the usage of body language. :3 And also normally, I wait for a guy to start talking to me. So guys, you know what to do! :D
NASTASSIA ‘Well hello, are you Google?’ ‘Eh..ehm.. no?’ ‘Because you’ve got everything I’m looking for…’ Success guaranteed!
TOBIAS I generally let girls pay for my drinks. Simple as that. And I will certainly not explain how I am doing it.
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T H E V I RT U A L C H I N E S E WA L L BERNET MEIJER
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ith governments controlling our current most convenient way of communication, namely the World Wide Web, the predictions of George Orwell might actually come true. Internet censorship could gradually change our society to 1984. “And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed, if all records told the same tale, then the lie passed into history and became truth. ‘Who controls the past,’ ran the Party slogan, ‘controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.” The age of the World Wide Web provides us with a new space sharing and an eternally increasing amount of networks. However, as the virtual part of our lives grow, inevitably, we become more vulnerable. We have entrusted a share of our sound habitat to the open public. By polluting the web, every user can accurately change what we see. Not knowing whom
to believe anymore, the web or the senses, people find themselves lost in the once so beautiful opportunities of the digital revolution. Governments are the stakeholders, or polluters, in virtual life that are to be considered most carefully. Not only are they capable of concealing things from their citizens, they also possess the weapon of implementation. The best way to describe the power of this method is by introducing the storyline of a movie. In the blockbuster Inception by Christopher Nolan, Dom Cobb earns his money by ‘extracting’. Extracting is basically stealing ideas from someone’s mind by entering his dreams, while the victim is asleep. Cobb then comes across a new possibility of entering dreams: he discovers ‘inception’. Inception is exactly the other way around: by implementing an idea in someone’s mind, a person can easily be manipulated. “The seed that we planted in this man his mind may change everything”, according to Cobb.
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Issue 3 From screenplay to real life, we end up in, as you might have already guessed, the Republic of China. The Communist Party of China (CPC) has been applying a lot of censorship on the Internet. For example, social networks like Facebook and Twitter have been blocked. If some protest against the Party arises on the Web, the government makes sure that it is immediately erased. In 2009, the government pushed, and ultimately backed off from, a rule that would have required the installation of a new software program called “Green Dam-Youth Escort’’ on all new Chinese-made computers. The software would effectively monitor a user’s every move. After strong resistance at home and abroad, China indefinitely delayed enforcement of the rule. However, China’s government did successfully implement another policy. They started with inception. The government employs thousands of Internet users who counter criticism on the government. These people act like ordinary Web users but are paid to write pro-CPC comments on different virtual forums and networks. They are the so-called ‘50 Cent Party’, as they get paid fifty cents for each CPC’s “ass-licking” comment. In a subtle way, the citizens of China are covered in a virtual world that is only pro Communist Party. As ordinary Web users are
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transformed into the right hand of the government, people do not know whom to trust anymore. Even as they are aware of all the censorship, the ideas and values the 50 Cent Party implements will eventually make their way to the society’s core. Of course, things are not yet as bad as in Orwell’s Oceania. But if we, the Western world, are eager to see the values of freedom of speech spreading across the globe, we might want to take some measures. Then there is the question whether or not we should poke our noses into everything. We should not act as hypocrites. In the United States several laws have been accepted in the past years to protect their citizens from the dark sides of the Internet. This is ‘well-based’ censorship, however still censorship. Companies are also capable of blocking websites, as many major companies did with Wikileaks. It seems inevitable. With the invention of the printing press, local kings and governments also inserted censorship. But eventually the citizens overcame the prohibitions and found their voice. Who controls the past, controls the future. Censorship has not yet had the power to control history. It is still in our own hands, so let us hope for history to repeat itself again.
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N OW W H AT. . ? KHALID EL GHOUL
T h e sess i on m ay have come to an e n d bu t by n o m e a n s i s thi s the end to your EYP- career, r e ad on a n d f i n d ou t wh at i s sti l l i n store for you.
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fter the best weekend of your life, you are at a point where you have to decide where you are going to take it from. As you have participated in the 9th NSC of EYP Poland , you can now apply to become an oďŹƒcial member of the EYP. This would give you many privileges from the moment you get admitted to the club. You can sign up for several foreign sessions all over Europe, which, in turn, will bring you more of the special experience you have had during the past days. You have tried your best to be as outgoing and contentious, yet understanding and honest, as possible. Following your efforts, the jury members have made a selection of the delegates they felt per-
formed best throughout the entire session. These delegates get a special opportunity as they are presented the chance to attend the most promising International Sessions ever in EYP-history, Amsterdam and Munich. Needless to say, this is a once in lifetime. For those who are not selected, there is absolutely no reason for tears. The possibilities that EYP offers is like the amount of water in the vast oceans of the world, nearly endless. Not only is there the possibility of attending and organising sessions, there are many ways in which you can greatly contribute to the structure and development as well. Each and every one of you is more than welcome to be part of this incredible organisation.
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W H AT D O E S E Y P H AV E I N ST O R E F O R YO U ? BERNET MEIJER
Fo l l ow the fl owchart and f ind out wh at f u t u re EY P rol e su i ts yo u best. 1. Can you function properly with less than four hours of sleep? - If yes, go to 2 - If no, go to 3 2. Which object is indispensable for you at a session? - Phone, go to 4 - Pencil, go to 5 3. Which do you prefer: coffee or cookies? - Coffee, go to 6 - Cookies, go to 7 4. What do you enjoy more: teambuilding or committee work? - Teambuilding: Journo - Committee Work: Orga 5. Do you often suffer from an excess of energy? - Yes: Orga - No: Chair 6. Do you like gossiping? - Yes: Journo - No: Chair 7. Can your character be described as impulsive or compulsive? - Impulsive: Chair - Compulsive: Orga
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JOURNO:
Congratulations, you are perfect to be a journo. You are a good listener and you have a voice loud enough to perform session songs. O RG A :
For all your life, being an orga was destined for you. Running is your favourite sport and the most satisfying thing to you is helping other people. CHAIR:
Your EYP career will continue in the minds of delegates. One of your best features is your ability to improvise and people always love you because of your regular evaluations.
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THE CLASH MAJA ZALEWSKA BLONDE
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irst of all, I would like to clarify the misunderstanding of blondes being stup i d . T h i s superstition a p p l i e s only to the dyed blondes, who were previously brunettes, but felt that this hair colour is more attractive and tempting. There was even an experiment, in which it was proven that blondes do not only differ from brunettes, but even outperform them in certain aspects. Going further, every child knows that Barbie is the cutest doll ever. Long, slim legs, blond hair and blue eyes. Nothing more to wish for. Additionally, there are plenty of celebrities and film icons, who
are blond. Starting with the goodness of sex appeal – Marilyn Monroe, and ending with a well-known sexy lifeguard – Pamela Anderson. Blondes became the object of desire of many, many men, unlike brunettes. Another point in favour of blondes is, that the rarer a feature the more wanted it becomes. Thus, real blondes are hankered after, because even though there are plenty of blond-haired women walking on the streets, they are just brunettes, who were so jealous of blondes, that they dyed their hair. Simply put, blondes were, are and will always be hotter than brunettes.
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Issue 3 BLONDE S VS. BRUNET T ES - WH EN A SK ED A B OU T O N E O F T H E BI G G E ST WOR LD CO NFL IC TS W H AT IS T H E F IR ST T H ING T H AT P O P S I N T O YO U R M IN D? P ROBABL Y YO U A R E RACK ING YOU R S B RA I N S R I G H T N OW T H I N KI N G OF R EL IGI OUS DI FFER ENCES, RACIA L DISCR IM INAT I O N , C I V I L WA R S, E TC . . . W ELL, YOU ARE AL L WRONG . T H E R EA L P ROB LE M I N VO L V E S, W I T H O U T A DOUBT, P URE E VIL IT SELF : WOM EN. LET T H E BL O N D E S VS. BRU N E T T E S SHOW BE GIN!
KATARZINA SOKOLOWSKA BRUNETTE
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hen asked about one of the biggest world conflicts what is the first thing that pops into your mind? Probably you are racking yours brains right now thinking of religious differences, racial discrimination, civil wars, etc... Well, you are all wrong. The real problem involves, without a doubt, pure evil itself: women. Let the blondes vs. brunettes show begin! Personally, I think that the answer for the “who is the hottest� question is quite obvious. If you are a guy, just think of the three things that make the girl of your dreams. Intelligence, beauty and fun. Congratulations, we just came up with the answer, every brunette fits this description. Oh, and by the way, blondes are stupid. How many jokes about blondes do you know? Yes, hundreds, so do I. What does it prove? That there is actually some hidden truth behind the stereotype of brain-
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less, bleached blondes with pink nails and high heels. Would you not rather spend some time surrounded by a stunning brown-eyed brunette and have a smart conversation, instead of listening to the pointless chatter of some plastic chick. Oh, and I almost forgot, keep in mind that blondes are dull. Last but not least, the main difference is not just in the looks, but in the inner quality. Brunettes have a rich and valuable personality, whereas blondes can only provide you with shallowness. Well, everybody knows they are just stupid. Simply put, brunettes were, are and will always be hotter than blondes.
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T H E B R E A K FA ST BUNCH NASTASSIA WINGE It is a nice Saturday morning. A bit early perhaps, but the sun is shining and it seems as nothing is going to ruin this day. Normally, one would go to the beach or the park. However, this fortune does not apply to everyone on this beautiful day; nine individuals, all strangers have the misfortune of having to be at school. For an entire Saturday. In detention, to be precise. It is 7:00 AM and our first stranger arrives, her name is Ola and is also known as the beautiful popular queen of the school. Nine others have already taken a seat in their Saturday prison and without anyone saying anything she sits down. After forty-five minutes Eryk, the rebel in school, decided to come. Some of them are mesmerised by his groovy undercut-Mohawk hairdo and stylish clothes. Some do not really care. It seems like time is crawling and the urge to socialise is increasing. Dominika, the talker of the group, is the first one to speak. ‘Who are you?’ she asks to a small brown haired girl sitting in the corner. Her name was Iga and with her outspoken appearance she stands out from the group, in a good way that is. Aneta, an always laughing ginger haired girl, joins the conver-
sation and, eventually, all of them get to talk. All of a sudden Martins gets a craving for hamburgers. The group gets inspired and the hunt for hamburgers had begun. The hamburger-lover fortunately has just about enough to feed the whole group…in his locker. Kinga, a rather quiet girl steps in here, thinking of a sneaky plan to get to the locker without being seen by strict principal ms. Öykü. Quiet as she may be, she appears to be a real sniper, silently attacking when needed. The group enjoys their tacos and they are actually quite enjoying themselves. Out of nowhere, probably influenced by her first time hamburger, Marta turns her favourite music on, dancing and running around like a maniac. Now all of them are dancing in the library, when ms. Öykü comes in. It is 5:00 PM, time to go home. The group shares some glances. All being completely different none of them thought they would become such good friends. This Saturday they came to realise that they are all deeper then their respective stereotypes. ‘Don’t you forget about me!’Eryk tells Karina and all of them decide to stay in touch, calling themselves the Breakfast Bunch.
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F E L L OWS H I P O F THE UNICORN MAJA ZALEWSKA Once upon a time, in the very middle of a long forgotten country of EYP there was an abandoned village, called AFET, in which lived the two last princes and a princess. They were given an important task of leading nine rising activists who were banished from their homelands for spreading unsettling opinions.
ation of the Fellowship of the Unicorn.
The rebels had to search for an asylum, but, unfortunately, no one wanted to take them in. Only after nearly a year of hiding, did they find the calm and silent village of AFET. The last of the royal family were touched by the dedication, vigour and the will to change the world of the lost and starving youngsters, who were ready to fight and die for their beliefs. It was this spirit, that caused the cre-
In a faraway country, where I come from, there was a little house with five windows under a rainbow, in which two unicorns, a pink and a blue one, were living. I just want to preserve it for the following generations of unicorns from under the rainbow.
They all shared a common policy: one step at a time, which allowed them to write down The Problems of The Greatest World Randomness, which presented everyone’s individual philosophies and attitudes:
Delegate Maciej, now living in AFET, alarmed by decreasing quality of glue used in the production of
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posters, calls for disengagement of air-conditioning in the EU area. Two green grasshoppers jumped over the river in Argentinaville, because they did not like water. I want to be like them. I enjoy eating tuna while showering, especially, in the mountains. But it is banned in the area, where I come from. My only problem is that the space shuttle, which landed on my friends back, was covered with broken pieces of glass. Under a red sky by a dry, green river there was a paper car with a golden statue inside standing on a blue grass. They want to burn it!
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I like bananas, apples, oranges, plums, beetroot soup and dumplings, because I want to buy a train in a future. The only way to eat blue cheese is to mix it with chocolate cookies. Those controversial statements cost the fellow members of the Unicorn brigade a lot. They had to leave their families and simply forget all about their previous lives. They had to choose between either being true to themselves or abjuring their beliefs. One can only imagine how hard of a decision it was. This is how it all began. How it ended? No one knows... but history can be rewritten.
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C U LT I T h e sto r y of the nine b unnies of the Com m i t te e on C u l ture and Education I I . KATERINA ZEJDLOVA Have you ever wondered how a single event can change your life and influence the direction of your future? I never did until I went to my first EYP session. It is in no way in terms of being selected or not, it is merely about your own interest and willingness to go further. You will probably not think about things like this until the session is over and you go back home though... However, when it is over, it might occur to you that your lives are suddenly boring or incomplete in a way and realise that those four days in Rzesz贸w, that passed in such a rapid pace, were something truly special. The complete insanity of the games, the seriousness of the committee work, the pride of your resolution, presenting your opinions at GA, the overall session spirit. If you begin to miss all that and feel like going back there straight away, congratulations, you have just become an EYPer! Though you might not believe me, EYP indeed did and does change lives. In case you fulfil the criteria mentioned in the last sentence above, and I wholeheartedly believe at least some of you do, do not hesitate to get involved. To
devote your time to EYP is something you will certainly never regret! I believe you have enjoyed yourselves in the lovely CULT I Committee led by the outstanding Swedish Chair Dora and, occasionally, disturbed by me taking pictures or making you play silly games. You, Aleksandra & Aleksandra, Ewelina, Weronika, Tom, Damien, Filip, Dominika and Justyna, have done a splendid piece of work! The discussion and your different points of view on how to fight piracy and make the laws fair to both the artists, copyright owners and the citizens were very interesting indeed. You better believe that the hours spent in the committee room were not wasted and I think you have every right to be proud of your resolution. I am positive that this session was an extraordinary and positive experience for you, whether it was your first encounter with EYP or not. I would be more than glad to know that we got you motivated to continue in EYP and that this event was something worth investing your time in. Perhaps one day, some of you will help other young
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Issue 3 people all over Europe to discover the awesomeness of the EYP world with the same passion as we do. It was really nice getting to know you all, my lovely Polish commit-
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tee! A huge Slavic hug from me, your Czech journo! And, hopefully, see you at some other session someday, somewhere... With love, Kate
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THEY CALLED IT F L U F F Y L OV E BERNET MEIJER
T h e sto r y of the nine b unnies of the Com m i t te e on C u l ture and Education I I . Once upon a time, in a land far, far from here called EYP, there was a beautiful piece of landscape. It contained fresh green grass and beautiful trees and the sun was always shining. It was the most usual yet wonderful landscape one could ever imagine. Therefore, it is no coincidence that one day nine little bunnies arrived at the scene. These fluffy creatures were not just hopping and sniffing around. No, they called themselves ‘The Funky Bunnies’ and they were on a quest. This is the story of nine joyful rabbits exploring the culture of an unknown world. The first moments after their arrival, the bunnies were just too excited to start with their task. With the help of the committee elf Karolina the Archer, Adam and Andy could not restrain themselves from rolling in the grass during the Monkey Bridge. However, this new technique of crossing the bridge without using your limbs was quite dizzying. Unfortunately, Kasia got injured in all the excitement: both her legs turned to ashes as she incidentally stepped
next to the line into the fire of the Order Game. After 23 hours, the bunnies focused and continued their search. The treasure they were looking for was the mythical Resolution Carrot. A real Resolution Carrot consists of two parts: the plant and the root. The green parts collect input from the sun and photosynthesise it to introductory sugars. The roots use the sugars and convert them to operative fibres, preferably not consisting of too many media campaigns. Punctuality is also important: ‘Unavoidability?’, Gabi says. ‘No, it is inevitability, I am sure’, daddy rabbit Marko argues. The funky bunny committee had an innovative way to work during the resolution-searching process. Using the method of the very Walt Disney, they separated the room into corners that resembled the corners of their minds. In brainstorming, facts were stated and terms were created. ‘Digitalised era. I really like that one!’ Bogusz expresses.
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Ewa is as confused about her exact age as she was at the start of the bunnies’ quest, Monika has not quite managed to erase her notbunny-like super straight teeth and Magda still cannot keep herself from giggling when someone confesses their love to her. Eventually, they found the Culture Resolution Carrot that contained courses, taxes and compulsory exams. In the process they became a real bunny family: lying head-tobelly in the evenings and performing free hugs with the other committees’ Chairs. The sun was still shining bright and created a little rainbow on the flipchart, adding a halo to the Golden Rule No. 11. ‘Funky bunny and have FUN!’ Mission accomplished.
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Adam Borowski Andy Daniluk Bogusz Olszewski Ewa Pawlik Magda Baranska Gabi Grzywacz Monika Salach Karolina Walas
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PROFESSIONALS ON FIRE KHALID EL GHOUL As the epic journalist I am, I obviously show up too late on the first day, but fortunately the committee was not too hard on me. After the delegates introduced themselves and me forgetting their names again (still working on that..), Lyubov, their lovely Chair from Ukraine, had me to take the initiative. A few passionate games later, the group already seemed to have formed a tight connection with one another. One could undoubtedly feel a certain calmness and friendly mood around the committee. Of course, I could not go too easy on them so I set them up with the ‘form a square’-game.., that did not work out too good. I guess they might have started to dislike me after that, but no need to worry. It might not seem like it, but there is an actual philoso-
phy behind the silly teambuilding games. They soon found out what the aim of the game was and fortunately stopped ‘hating’ me. The next day I found the ECON committee talking about cakes and bakeries. I was like “Huh? Aren’t you supposed to be talking about the economy and all?”. Apparently, Lyubov used a certain analogy to the discussion which I, and I suppose the delegates too, were not familiar with. It is actually pretty basic, instead of talking about the actual topic, they used metaphors to make it more accessible and maintain a better overview. Hence, the talks about EUbakeries and the distribution of cakes. Committee work continued and somehow the delegates were less energetic than they were the
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day before. The complex formulation of their committee topic made it rather tough to work out ideas and arguments, but even though the start was slow, they quickly regained some pace during the process. Near the end, they were divided into small groups and had to work on the phrasing. It is perfectly natural that, once you are done, you sit around and chat with your fellow committee members, but three of the ladies sadly turned to their phones. Now, I may excuse Julia, for she was downloading a dictionary to aid the phrasing, but Aleksandra and T were definitely messaging. As the journalist of this committee I obviously cannot allow such a thing to ensue, so they should definitely be counting
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on some counter measures. To be continued‌ Then there is Damian, wandering the hallways at night trying to impress me by grabbing a random innocent lady delegate and saying that she is his. Nice try, Damian! The girl had no idea what he was talking about and turned him down. Better luck next time! Anyway, the Committee on ECON truly consists of caring and warm personalities, hence, the tight connection they form. It was an honor to be considered part of this Committee, and I definitely hope to come by you guys again somewhere at some session. Take care!
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TOBIAS SATLOW
AN IMPERIAL TA S K Once upon a time, in a land named Poland, a bunch of people gathered to discuss one thing and one thing only: How to create a culture of innovation. These people knew how important their task was and they were willing to dedicate their lives to it. Gladly, they were sent home after four days. The path was long, the path was hard, but in the end I have not seen what they were able to produce yet. Under the commission of
her royal highness, duchess of the green isle, Rita Grant and Lukasz, whose shoes are enormous, stayed in the last corner of the university. Lukasz, a descent from a Viking clan that bred with trolls, has had a firm grip on the Committee. He used to crush their dreams and hopes that they were giving birth to. To outsiders this might sound very mean, but in fact, he was trying to help them. Even though Lukasz cannot express himself very well on an emotional level,
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his dancing skills certainly make up for the flirting part of a conversation. One person who clearly fell for Lukasz is her royal highness, Rita. You might not notice it during the day, but when you see them in silent corners you know that there are sparks in the air surrounding them. Her royal highness strongly feels for the supremacy of gingers over all other hair colours, which is, in fact, true.
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During ITRE’s imperial quest, many problems have been encountered. Ranging from simple things, like language barriers, to quite complicated ones regarding how to solve the posed question, the adventurers have found a way. In the end, I can only hope that ITRE is satisfied with what they produced and that they are able to convince others of their point of view.
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ANONYMOUS EYP-ERS KATARZYNA SOKOLOWSKA
Good evening everybody, my name is Kasia and I would like to warmly welcome you to our 9th meeting of Anonymous EYP-ers. As you can see we have eight new faces. Today we will try to help all of you to get out of this destructive addiction but first of all, new members, please say “hello” and make a short introduction so we can get to know each other better. “Hi, my name is Sara (Hi Sara!) and I started to do EYP one month ago...It was in Greece, just a small, innocent forum. We used to mix it with cherries, that was fantastic! At the beginning I hoped that I would not be that addictive... I was wrong. Now I started again and I am really scared of the consequences. Please, help me guys.” “I am Mateusz (Hello Mateusz!) and I first tried EYP three years ago. Actually, the whole story began exactly in this city, so this place is full of memories for me... It was a regional session. Some of you might think that it is nothing special but for me it really meant
something. I felt like a funky bunny for more than two weeks after the session ended. Imagine that!” “I use Marta for formal occasions, but for friends it is just Inka (Hi Inka!). My first time? It was four months ago, EYP Day in Białystok. Well, it was not a very big session so it was easier to get over it afterwards, but now I am here again. It is just so hard to say no. I love EYP so much that I simply cannot resist it.” The meeting went really smooth. For the first couple of hours the atmosphere was a little bit tensed, people were too shy to share their stories, experiences and problems. Luckily, when coming to the end of the session, everybody got more relaxed and less worried about their EYP addiction. Well, to be honest, even the leader of the assembly was kind of a heavy EYP addict so probably the most adequate message from her to all the participants would be “Enjoy EYP, continue EYP, do not stop EYP!”.
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TOBIAS SATLOW
GAMES WITH NAMES Poland has proven to be an interesting country. The weather is quite good, the food interesting and the people awesome. What astonished me was that parents seem rather lazy when it comes to giving names. How could it be that three names appeared twice in the Committee? I do not want to criticise Laura, Laura, Dominika, Dominika, Aleksandra and Aleksandra, as they did not choose their names themselves. Yet, there was quite some confusion, especially, during name games at the start of teambuilding. Gladly, nicknames proved to be of major help. Sadly, not each member of the
committee is a fan of being captured in photos or videos. Fortunately, other members have made up for this in the videos. Not being photogenic is not really a question in the Committee. When you walk into the committee room your eyes are attacked by all the collected beauty and the clothing style. Floris Lauwers has a firm grip on the Committee. Returning from lunch break on time, working hard continuously and simply staying focused at all times are common practice. Astonishingly, the Committee on Security and Defence was even working when the vice-president was off to ful-
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fil his duties. Most likely, someone will have to replace Floris during GA, as he will be needed on the board to safeguard the parliamentary procedure. Unanimous agreement has been important for SEDE. Still one wedge issue remains to endanger the relationship between Floris and the delegates: Bunnies. Whilst Laura (referred to as Ali) truly believes in the cuteness and importance of these tiny creatures, Floris has quite a different view. It seems as if he prefers bunnies either on his plate or in oblivion. I am certain that extensive talks will end in further disagree-
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ment as both sides consider themselves supreme. As a final remark, it is clear that an astonishing amount of creativity has been invested in order to solve the different problems. For the future I would hope that even the ones that were a little shy about being photographed come out of their shells and play with the camera more. I hope that your journey within EYP does not end here and that we will dine together at another session or the Valhalla.
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W I N D OWS TOBIAS SATLOW
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hat would we do without windows? Windows are an important part of every room because they allow fresh air and light to get in. If you ever spent some time in a building without windows or with very small windows, you definitely know what a necessity they are. Another advantage of windows is that you can see the outside world, and if they are a little farther up, you can see a lot without these things bothering you too much. Here is the point of this article: Your computer is just like a window! The internet, in its vastness is one of the most magical creations of mankind. While holiday postcards may take a few days to a week to reach your loved ones, an E-mail takes only a few seconds. Going to a shop to compare prices is old fashioned by now; one can simply check prices from different products and vendors online. In addition, I cannot imagine what people did before they were able to book
flights or train tickets online. As I for my part could not have come here without checking my travel options on several websites. Back on the window side of things, the internet shares many commonalities with the afore mentioned glass objects. Firstly, they are optional. Neither windows nor the internet are vital to buildings and computers respectively. Still they facilitate many processes. While a window keeps a room supplied with light and oxygen, the internet provides computers with regular updates for the hard- and software as well as allowing the user to acquire new programs without leaving the work place. Up until now, I have only mentioned the good sides of our beloved cyberspace without touching on any of the downsides. I am aware that not every page out there is helpful and many of them are even damaging, being destructive to your productivity or via viruses to your computer. One can
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Issue 3 spend hours on YouTube wasting time doing essentially nothing and for a few years now meme pages have expanded the horizon of procrastination even further. Furthermore, the internet furthermore, facilitates copyright infringements. Instead of going out to buy a DVD, you can just download whatever it is you want to watch. Social networking sites, such as Facebook have created a new form of addiction much
harder to uncover and combat than many other addictions. In addition, the privacy policies of these sites are more than questionable and only Zuckerberg knows what data they collect from us. A type of website that is publicly not as touched upon others is websites containing pornographic content. In a room full of people, go around asking if anyone ever visited a porn site or searched for something pornographic. I am sure you will be surprised by the results, compared to the real figures: 12% of all websites are pornographic, 25% of all search engine requests are pornographic,
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35% of all internet downloads are pornographic and every day there are 266 new porn sites initiated. Way to go! For me, the internet remains a uniquely good invention. It is the same with windows,
because it is one its personal decision to open them or not and just allow a short refreshing breeze or a long aeration. The advantages and commodities from the internet heavily outweigh its negative sides. In addition, EYP, as it exists today, would not have been possible without the internet as most of the communication and information exchange happens in cyberspace. However, I have to advise everyone not to play around too much with a window that is up very high, as a strong breeze might sweep you of your feet or even carry you out the very same window. Still, as long as you stay safe, enjoy the view of the landscape and discover unknown grounds!
onPaper
N A ST Y ’ S GOSSIP CORNER NASTASSIA WINGE
Spotted: E. being rather impatient during Teambuilding. Is he just craving for some coffee or is there a juicier story behind it? Accordingly to eyewitnesses, D. was acting rather shady and escaped into
E Y P O E T RY HANNAH GRACE CARTER This is the story of a session in Poland For which orgas had worked hand in hand And months ahead of time Just to make sure the session was fine The beautiful Head Orga Ola chose her hometown To host the best nationals I have ever seen The spirit there could turn any frown upside down So here is to the coolest nationals that have ever been The president Rita was a fiery beauty With enthusiasm, charisma and charm She was all about her duty And making sure that no one came to any harm The editors Robin and Charif were a crazy pair Who joked around when the journos weren’t there They made the issues incredibly fun I cannot believe how much they got done The delegates of the session were grand And stylish and stunning and sweet Time spent with them could never be bland They were not very orderly and neat.
the abandoned bathroom on the top floor as soon as she was dismissed by her Chair. I guess E. and D. took Teambuiling to an entire different level. An EYP session, as wonderful as it is, cannot go without the occasional love affairs. E. and D. have definitely lived up to this unwritten rule. They are just lacking in the ‘keeping-it-asecret department’. Yes yes, dear delegates, you can try to hide, but you are not the only one who knows about your so called ‘secret’ snogging sessions in the bathroom. Stop trying to hide, dear delegates, the truth always reveals itself sooner or later and we happen to know everything about that truth. No, we were not planning on keeping it to ourselves. XOXO
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Issue 3
R Z E S Z ÓW ’ S F I N E ST MEMORIES NASTASSIA WINGE The end is near. You may find it unfair, but it is life and all great things must come to an end. Even though it is over, we will always have memories. That is, if we will be provided with a nice handbook reminding us of the most memorable people of this session. Now without further a due, we would hereby like to present to you our very own, unique, EYP session “yearbook”.
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Hottest girl of the session: Kasia CULT II
Hottest guy of the session: Nikolaus ITRE I
Session couple: Nikolaus ITRE I Lena AFET (the Austrian couple)
Hottest official: (it was a tight run, but with only one vote of difference:) Ulrich Chair AFET
Best dancer: Damian ECON
Session weirdo: Magda AFET
Best clothing style: Eryck AFCO
First delegate who is most likely to become a politician: Adam CULT II
onPaper
TURN ME OFF KATARZYNA SOKOLOWSKA
L
et me tell you a story. Let’s say...a story about a casual girl who took a bus, came to Isle of Wight for her summer holiday, to work and at the same time to meet new people, make new friends. Big expectations, big hopes, big grin on her face. What happened next? Bang, end of the world. No internet, no wifi access all over the place, her computer turned into some useless toy for big children. Well, happens, show must go on. So anyway, she started to work in a pub, started to get to know people, to deal with the situation she found herself in. After spending at least 3 hours on Facebook per day, she jumped into a nonFacebook reality. Imagine that, big time. Now imagine yourselves. Close your eyes and think about your lives. Well, I’m not saying that all of you spend most of your time staring at the computer screen, but still, seven out of ten do. And what’s more, that’s probably euphemistic.
Internet - the way of new challenges? Certainly it is, hard to deny it, but! Maybe it’s more like the way of new living? The thing is to know how to use it wisely, to learn how to make the best out
of this never ending source without being totally enwrapped. The Internet is growing day by day and more and more people get addicted to it. That’s a fact. By now the Internet has over 2 billion users while Facebook has 800 millions active users. And the numbers are increasing. Why doesn’t it surprise anyone anymore a 3-years old is sitting with his laptop on his legs, playing
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Issue 3
some silly games? Why is it getting more and more casual when a 69-years old grandma, instead of solving crosswords and drinking tea, is looking for some funny youtube clips and giggling with
When I recall my own childhood, it looked so much different to what my siblings are doing at the age of 12. Wether I am proud or not, I had my first mobile phone at the age of 12, whilst nowadays the average age is 9, maybe 8. My first computer? I was almost 14. And what can I say now? I did enjoy playing with my favourite toys and watching disney movies instead of playing Warcraft, Starwars or Call of Duty and getting excited every time somebody accepts my friend request on Facebook.
her oldie-friends? Technology is moving forward, the internet is changing the world, making it go round faster and faster. People rush every day, complain about it, and, instead of changing something in their lifes, rush even more because they have so many things to do. Internet is one of the causes of how the world looks today, of faster changes, a faster tomorrow. Worse still, it has become an inseparable part of our lifes.
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Coming back to the girl...well, yes, she made it. She released herself from the internet addiction, at least for a while. And what can she say to you now? Just try to turn yourself off for a while, try to change yourself into oine mood and enjoy your life, make every single minute of it legen - wait for it - dary. Try to live to the fullest. Carpe diem and go go go.
onPaper
E UJ UCD GAE MLE NYT PDAY SE: TOBIAS SATLOW
W hen i t ends, we will see how. Unt i l t h e n , e n joy.
I
t can be commonly agreed on that the world as we know it will, some day, cease to exist. Whether the exact date is the 21st of December 2012 or the day after does not matter. However, a much more relevant question for us would be: What will happen to the European Union (EU)? As a matter of fact, the EU is currently going through crisis after crisis. Starting in 2008, the problems have been lining up in front of her doorstep like delegates for a coffee break. We have seen fiscal instability, right and left wing extremists, occupations of public squares and riots. The final death stab is yet to come. The most probable scenarios are following: What if all nuclear power plants throughout the EU would fail at the same time? Big powerful states such as Germany and France will
burn in the aftermath of several meltdowns. The few survivors would be stuck without electricity and exposed to extreme levels radiation. What an unhappy event. Much more probable than an EU wide meltdown of nuclear power plants is a zombie invasion. Sadly, most European countries do not have the means to combat hordes of undeads as their citizens will lack shotguns and flamethrowers. Concluding, we have to accept the fact that Europe is bound to die horribly. The EU is not a phoenix that can rise from the ashes and neither are we. Therefore, I look forward to seeing you all during the Apocalypse. As soon as fire rains from the skies, your journo team will be ready to film and enjoy the show.
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Issue 3
EYP ROCK ANTHEM KATERINA ZEJDLOVA
L et’s ro ck the Opening & Closi n g Ce re m ony ! EYP is in Rzeszów tonight Crazy games, just having a good time Journos gonna make you lose your mind We are gonna take this city down Are you bored with hearing “Ode to Joy” all over again? Rzeszów’s Opening Ceremony might have started a revolution in altering the tradition. “Please stand up for the European anthem.” we heard the Board say, while on the screen appeared LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” instead. Though, the mistake made by oversight has been fixed immediately, it did not stop the audience from laughing and one could not help thinking: how cool would that be, having an “EYP Rock Anthem”...? Therefore, next time, feel free to alter the anthem for the wellknown song with some new and enhanced lyrics...
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Party rockin’ EYP tonight Committee work, making all in time Chairs are gonna make you feel just fine It is gonna be an awesome…session! In the club party rock, lookin’ for a dance? Just join the crowd Nonstop when we in the spot, partying will never ever stop What to drink? I got to know! In the morning, when I’m low Half black, half white, coffee, yo! Coffee break is on, let’s go! Yo, I’m runnin’ through these halls, did I know where to go, did they say where lunch was, no? Hallo? EYP rocks! Yeah, that’s the crew that I’m lovin’ On the rise to the top, no I am not comin’ – home Party rockin’ EYP tonight Everybody’s gonna have a good time Our resolution is almost done Defending is gonna be just fine Attack speeches – there are gonna be none Open debate, we are gonna have fun Passing it is just a matter of time We just wanna see ya...vote for! (EYP - I’m lo-loving it!)