Slanted Mag Love Issue February 2014

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STANDUP COMEDY EVERY SECOND and LAST THURSDAY EACH MONTH AT MANKATO EVENT CENTER HOSTED BY MANKATO COMEDY’S ZACK KOLARS


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KATO LOVE CONFESSIONS A CAMPUS SENSATION HAS ALSMOST 9K ‘LIKES’

Remember that show, “Gossip Girl”? You know, the one your girl always made you watch. It was about some website that posted all the juicy gossip about snobby rich upper class kids in New York? Well, now Mankato has its own version, sort of. Mankato is a city of young people. With three big high schools, two universities and a couple more community/ technical colleges, there are enough hormones here to manifest a full-blown sex explosion... gross. Anyway, sexual frustration and % SAVE * off fantasy has been on high gear and that has spilled over to social %* Enjoy Tender Hugs & Kisses media, where thousands of students became enthralled and preocwith Chocolates cupied with love, lust and good old fashion gossip. Show lots of love this Valentine’s Day with Site Price: $44 this ruby red tulip and deep blue iris bouquet Mankato East/West and Loyola had problems with Twitter accoupled with delicious chocolates! You Pay: 99 $ counts that were created to help students anonymously announce their most intimate feelings about schoolmates. It quickly became Plus, save 20% off* other gifts! Visit www.ProFlowers.com/Adore or call 1-800-993-5191 a controversy among parents. The social media site was contacted *Take 55% off “Tender Hugs and Kisses with Chocolates” and 20% off minimum product purchase of $29.00. Discounts: (i) apply to the regular price of the products, (ii) will appear upon checkout and cannot be combined with other offers or discounts, unless specified, and (iii) do not apply to gift cards or certificates, international delivery, shipping & by the school and the pages were taken down. handling, taxes, or third-party hosted products (e.g. wine). Discounts not valid on bulk or corporate purchases of 10 units or more. Images in this advertisement may include upgraded, premium containers which are available for an additional charge. Prices valid while supplies last. Offer expires 2/13/2014. The pages were based on unknown Minnesota State University students’ own Kato Love Confessions, a juicy Twitter and FaceOrder Mouthwatering Gifts for Valentine’s Day book movement that has garnered almost 9,000 followers. Users 100% SATISFACTION GUARANTEED are encouraged to submit their anonymous posts through Google giant strawberries | #1 seller fancy berries | over 20 million berries dipped Docs (buy they’re probably not truly anonymous, as some reports DIP BERRPED and common sense would indicate). At first, it was pretty much IES * $19 99 anything goes. But then there were complaints from students and Find your perfect MSU faculty concerned with cyber bullying and distraction from Valentine’s Day gift for less. learning. So, the page admins were obliged to implement some Visit www.berries.com/amazing or call 1-800-760-6743 ground rules. *Minimum product purchase of $29.00. Discounts do not apply to gift cards or certificates, same-day delivery, shipping and handling, taxes or third-party hosted products (e.g. wine). Discounts will appear upon checkout and Now the admins at Kato Love Confessions moderate the posts cannot be combined with other offers or discounts. Discounts not valid on bulk or corporate purchases of 10 units or more. Offer expires 2/13/2014. to ensure they are appropriate enough for public consumption (and so they don’t get their extremely sexy and popular page taken down). Posts on the site include posts from guys and girls, straight and gay, that indicate how infatuated they are withparticular people and names are often dropped. o for twwines. h t n o m crafted With almost 9,000 likes on Facebook, stories in the MSU Re6 per d Just $i2nning, han porter, Mankato Free Press and now Slanted Mag, it would seem -w award that the Facebook page may serve as a dating service for shy young adults looking to score or something more long-term. Whatever Makes a Fun 1-800-764-5185 Also & Unique Gift the case, Kato Love Confessions has struck a chord among the Call Us Mon-Fri. 8am to 5pm PST. Void where prohibited, some restrictions may apply. young in Mankato.

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In case you don’t know or have been sexually muted, people (mostly women) get together and exchange sex gifts at “sex toy parties” as their often called. The gifts, which are really just purchases pushed by really horny (for money) Avon ladies. They don’t work for AVON, of course. They peddle products from various door-to-door representative scheme companies that sell dildos, massage oils, rubber fists, cock rings, lube, edible panties, costumes, anal beads, S & M gear (if you don’t know what that is just Google it for Christ sakes) and other items that perverse teenagers only dream about after seeing on Internet porn sites or their dad’s/grandpa’s old stash of dirty magazines. It is not at all the same concept as a lipstick party (Google it). And they’re also getting their customers to peddle them too. Here’s how it works: Like cosmetics, cutlery, cheap jewelry and so-called nutrition products, the sex toy industry is now getting in on the mainstream Internet and multi-level marketing schemes that have been used by companies like AVON, KCL, Primerica, HerbalLife, Amway Global, The Pampered Chef, Vector Marketing and so forth. It would truly be entertaining to find one person single-handedly peddling dildos, vacuums, life insurance, watches, make-up, energy shakes and shampoo from all these companies at once! But anyway.... It was truly tough to find a sex toy peddler online in Southern Minnesota, though I do know these parties take place locally by various people. The most popular Southern Minnesota representative with a growing client list is probably Jen Wanderscheid. Wanderscheid is part of the bigger sex toy syndicate, Party Gals, who invites those like Wanderscheid to become distributors. Wanderscheid has her own blog, called Confessions of a Sex Toy Diva. She goes by the pen name of Taboo Jen and she mostly gives advice on what products to buy in coordination with one’s sexual anatomy, or that of their partner’s. Short -term loans by Buster’s Bar and Grill is host to Sex Toy Bargo each month, according to their Google Calendar on their website. Sex toys are sold on independent retailer websites as well, but they are also Fees apply. See Rates & Terms. sold in special shops like the two in Mankato and one in Owatonna. One of them is on the hilltop in Mankato and the other is on the Make the Switch to DISH Today north end of Riverfront Drive in Mankato. The one in Owatonna is and Save Up To 50% somewhere off the highway, 14, I believe. In Roman times, penises were carved from marble and evidence OVER 30 PREMIUM also suggests that women frequently held sex parties and used sex SAME DAY MOVIE CHANNELS INSTALLATION as a form of control and domination. Sex is also used for power mo. CALL TODAY For 3 months. among the Binobo monkeys. INSTALLED TODAY!

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DIRECTIONS: Boil down butter and add chocolate chips, stirring the crap out of it. Don’t take your off the chocolate in the pot! You can either use plastic forks or toothpicks to dip the strawberries into the chocolate. Set them atop wax paper, or if you’re using toothpicks, try poking them upside down into styrofoam. FOR DESIGNS: Repeat above steps, only melt white chocolate instead. Dip a brush, toothpick or other object into melted chocolate and drip designs like hearts, smiley faces or perverted images right onto your chocolate-covered strawberries!

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11 A.M. TIL 2 A.M. CITY CENTER MANKATO


This Concert Brought to you by the Letters M, S, and O

Mankato, Minn—January 20, 2014—Ready for a show that is not only appropriate for children but for the inner child in everyone? The Mankato Symphony Orchestra is proud to present their next concert “Songs About Rainbows: The Music of Jim Henson and the Muppets,” on Sunday, Feb. 9, 2014 at 3 p.m. in the Mankato West High School auditorium. This program will prove to be more than a concert, as arranger Lynn Hutchinson will incorporate acting and singing in the performance. The Mankato Children’s Chorus Concert Choir, as well as renowned singer Connie Evingson, will both be performing beloved songs from childhood; songs like “Rubber Ducky,” “Sunny Days,” and “Rainbow Connection.” These songs have been updated for a symphonic audience through clever arrangements keeping the heart of the piece the same, but modifying the style to fit the concert hall. Guest conductor Mischa Santora, will be leading this world premiere show. Families are welcome but this performance also makes for a wonderful nostalgic afternoon for unaccompanied adults who want to relive happy memories. Lynn Hutchinson is a freelance pianist and composer from the west coast. Hutchinson received a Master’s of Music from the University of California, Santa Barbara, and a Bachelor’s from St. Olaf College in Piano Performance. She has taught as a guest lecturer at Conservatorium van Amsterdam and is the founder of Canvas, a “symbiosis of concert stage, lecture hall and exhibition space with audience curiosity as its heartbeat.” Hutchinson has been featured before as a guest artist for the Mankato Symphony Orchestra at the 2012 Candy Cane Concert. Singer Connie Evingson, a Twin Cities resident, has frequently toured the U.S., Europe, and Japan with her electrifying and “readily identifiable” voice. She has performed with Jazz in the Lincoln Center, the Toronto Symphony, and her hometown Minnesota Orchestra. Evingson performs different genres of music from jazz, to Broadway, as well as popular music such as the Beatles. Her music, which includes nine CDs, can be heard on many jazz stations around the world. In 2005, she was nominated as JazzWeek vocalist of the Year. Mischa Santora is the Music Director of the Cincinnati Chamber Orchestra, and has been a guest conductor all over the world, from the Houston Symphony to the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra. Santora’s programs with the Cincinnati Chamber Orchestra are creative and innovative, collaborating with dance companies, theater groups, and even puppeteers. Santora was the Associate Conductor of the Minnesota Orchestra between 2003 and 2009, and was recently appointed Artistic Director of the Spotlight Concert Series at the MacPhail Center for Music in Minneapolis.


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