April 2014 by Rochester Woman Magazine

april 2014

rw inspire

Kristina Dinino-Jeffords Michelle Hutchinson Liz Brenna

Is The Paleo Diet

right for you?

helping others

Invest in Their Future

Overcoming the Odds Meet One of Rochesterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Most Successful Entrepreneurs f o r a l l t h e t h i n g s t h at yo u a r e . . . r o c h e s t e r w o m a n

rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

w w w. r o c h e s t e r w o m a n m a g . c o m

COMMUNITY

Value

We’re committed to providing affordable access to quality health care. As a nonprofit, we have no shareholders to serve. We serve our upstate communities. Our margins are low, which keeps our premiums below the national average. Affordable premiums mean more people with coverage and fewer uninsured. And because we’re local, we support about 8,000 local jobs and add more than $900 million to the upstate economy beyond what we pay out in medical benefits. We’re local people working together for healthier communities. To learn more visit: ExcellusBCBS.com/AnnualReport

National strength. Local focus. Individual care.

A nonprofit independent licensee of the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association

April ETC 7

PLATTER CHATTER: Blu Wolf Bistro

57 56

FASHION FORWARD: Meet a Local Fashionista 10 FABULOUS FINDS: To Boost Your Business

HEALTHY WOMAN: Protecting Your Vision

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH: Part II

LEADING WOMAN: Marlene Dattilio

FITNESS: Is The Paleo Diet Right For You

SPECIAL FEATURE: Nuggets of Wisdom

COVER STORY: Overcoming The Odds

MENOPAUSE MINUTE: The Public Face of Menopause 38 LOCAL BUSINESS MATTERS: Simply Irresistible

TIPS FOR WOMEN: Thrive in Real Estate

QUEEN OF ARTS: Calling All Broadway Enthusiasts 46

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RW INSPIRES 49 CALENDAR OF EVENTS 54 FOR A GOOD CAUSE: Healing Springs

RW READS & WRITES: Until One Day

RESOLVE: PART V 60

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LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHERS this still predominantly male dominated industry. Read her story on page [24]. When was the last time you had your eyes checked? Did you know that women are more likely than men to lose their vision permanently? In this month’s Healthy Woman column, Dr. Sraddha Prativadi talks about the reasons that our vision is more at risk and why it’s important to pay attention to our eyes. Turn to page [18] for more information. “I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.” --Maya Angelou According to Forbes.com, women entrepreneurs are building businesses at a rate of one and a half times the national average. That being said, the outlook for women business owners is optimistic for 2014. In a study conducted by the National Association of Women Business Owners, 92% of female entrepreneurs agree that the stage is set for even more women to launch their own businesses. Let’s go ladies, our time is now! The entrepreneurial climate in Rochester seems to be stronger than ever. Everywhere you look women are stepping out of the corporate red tape, or their living room couches to start a new business with the hope of achieving success. At RWM we see it every day in the stories we feature, the advertisers who help support the magazine and the businesses that participate in our many expos and events. Our cover woman this month, Angella Luyk, is the owner of Midnight Janitorial and One Stop Janitorial and Office Supply. In the seven years since Luyk started Midnight Janitorial, her business has grown to over $1 million in sales. It hasn’t been an easy road; Luyk has faced many challenges along the way but met them head-on to achieve the success she realizes today. Read her incredible story on page [32]. Our Leading Woman this month, Marlene Dattilo, is a certified financial planner with Financial Architects. Dattilo has worked hard her entire career to achieve a level of success not easily reached by a woman in

In this issue we feature part II of our four part mental health series by Interact Counseling. This month focuses on equine therapy and dispelling the myth that horses are used solely for physical therapy. Horses can be used effectively for persons with emotional problems as well. You can read the article on page [22]. Looking for one of the best burgers in town? Look no further than Blu Wolf Bistro on Park Ave. Our food writer, Nicole Shein stopped in for a bite to eat recently. To find out what her favorite dish on the menu was turn to page [8]. We are excited to announce that our 2nd Annual Ultimate Health and Wellness Expo will be held on Saturday, June 21st. This year’s event will be held at MCC and will feature over 200 local vendors. If you are interested in being a vendor or sponsor, space is limited so contact us to reserve your space soon. For more information visit our website at www.ultimatewomensexpos. com or call Kelly at (585) 727-9120. Enjoy all that spring has to offer with longer days and warmer temperatures. Let’s hope we’ve seen the last of the snow for this season and more warm sunny skies. Make sure to take RWM with you wherever you go. Don’t forget to download our new Android App on your phone, tablet or Kindle so you never miss an issue. Sincerely

Kelly & Barb ON OUR COVER... Angella Luyk, owner of Midnight Janitorial, takes a break from her busy schedule to show off part of her fabulous shoe collection. Photo by Stephen Reardon. Hair by Iggy Battisti of Battisti’s Salon.

Publishers Kelly Breuer Barbara McSpadden Editor-in-Chief

Barbara McSpadden

associate editor Ashley Cooper

Creative DIRECTOR Kelly Breuer

Photography

John Lee Stephen Reardon Brandon Vick

Contributing Writers

Krista Bellardo Anissa Buckley Rachel L. Charleton, MSc., LMFT, ACSW Ashley Cooper Amy Gallo Susan Glenz Joan E. Lincoln Adriana Lipomi Alli O’Malley Shraddha Pradivadi, MD Nicole Shein Hayley Strauss Brandy Whitbourne James Woods, MD

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Unlike any other publication in the Rochester area, our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, home matters, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local Rochester women. The print magazines are distributed locally in over 350 locations and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge.

Contact our home office 585.287.5362 1115 E. Main St, Box 60 I Rochester, NY 14609 info@rochesterwomanmag.com Download our media kit at www.rochesterwomanmag.com The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman Magazine, llc. 1115 E. Main Street, Box 60, Rochester NY 14609. Copyright © 2014 Rochester Woman Magazine, llc. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publishers. Rochester Woman Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman Magazine, llc. and will not be returned.

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MOVIES

Draft Day - 4/11 On the day of the NFL Draft, general manager Sonny Weaver has the opportunity to save football in Cleveland when he trades for the number one pick. He must quickly decide what he’s willing to sacrifice in pursuit of perfection as the lines between his personal and professional life become blurred.

Heaven Is For Real - 4/16 The true story of a small-town father who must find the courage and conviction to share his son’s extraordinary, lifechanging experience with the world, starring Greg Kinnear a and Kelly Reilly as the real-life couple whose son Colton claims to have visited heaven during a near-death experience.

The Other Woman - 4/25 After discovering her boyfriend is married, a woman tries to get her ruined life back on track. But when she accidentally meets the wife he’s been cheating on, she realizes they have much in common, and her sworn enemy becomes her greatest friend. When yet another affair is discovered, all three women team up to plot mutual revenge on their cheating, lying, three-timing SOB.

Brick Mansions - 4/25 In the criminal underworld of Detroit, the streets are overrun with violence and drugs and the hand of corruption reaches everyone. For Lino every day is a fight to live an honest life. But when a drug lord kidnaps his girlfriend, he is forced to team up with Damien Collier, an undercover cop who’s been tracking this king pin’s involvement in something even more sinister – a plot to devastate the entire city.

OUT & ABOUT Register Today for the 13th Annual Pink Ribbon Run & Family Fitness Walk on Mother’s Day - Sunday, May 11 The Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester invites you to start your Mother’s Day celebration at Genesee Valley Park for the Pink Ribbon Run & Family Fitness Walk. The 5K Race is for women only while the Family Fitness Walk is open to all and includes two walk routes to accommodate all fitness levels. All routes provide scenic views of the Genesee River and Erie Canal. The walk starts at 9am and the race starts at 9:20am; registration starts at 7:15am at Roundhouse Pavilion. Cash and other prizes will be awarded. Enter a raffle to win an iPad Mini with Retina Display. This event celebrates the lives of those who have been touched by breast cancer and is a premier fundraising event for the Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester. All money raised stays in the Rochester community to benefit those impacted by breast cancer by providing free support and education as well as advocacy and research. Whether you run, walk, support a participant, or honor a loved one, you can join in the fight against breast cancer. Individuals, groups and teams are welcome. Volunteer opportunities are also available. Registering online is easy, fast and completely secure. You will also find more information about packet pickup, raffle details, parking, course maps and a schedule of events at www.bccr.org. There will be plenty of free parking on the University of Rochester Campus as well as free shuttle parking at Marketplace Mall, so you can beat the crowds and beat the traffic! You can also skip the registration line on Mother’s Day and pickup your packet (t-shirt, bib, bandana), May 7-10, at the Breast Cancer Coalition, 840 University Avenue: Wednesday, 5/7 8AM - 7PM - Thursday, 5/8 8 AM - 7 PM Friday, 5/9 8 AM - 7 PM - Saturday, 5/10 8 AM - 12 Noon Questions? Call 473-8177 or email cindy@bccr.org

1st Annual Rochester Regional Women’s Casting for Caring Sport Fishing Tournament - May 5th Please join the Finger Lakes/Western New York Region in the launch of its first women’s fishing tournament on scenic Lake Ontario. This competitive fishing tournament will bring women from the Rochester and surrounding areas together for a day of fishing and fun with the chance to win a prize for the biggest fish. The event is being hosted by the Rochester Yacht Club, 5555 St. Paul Boulevard. Grand Prize (for biggest catch): $1,000 This tournament provides a unique way to network with women in Rochester and spend time with co-workers, clients, friends and family. Teams consist of four women who will be guided by an expert licensed charter boat. Boat: $1,600, Fishing Spot: $400, Reception Only: $40 The fun doesn’t stop after the boat docks. All are invited back to the Rochester Yacht Club for a cocktail reception. Complete the day enjoying entertainment, specialty mixed drinks and celebrate Cinco De Mayo. Take home some wonderful gifts by bidding on such items as a guided fishing tour, spa and vacation packages, dinner certificates, wine baskets and more. Our mistress of ceremonies, Rachel Barnhart from WROC News Channel 8, is sure to make this a fun evening to remember. Sponsorship Levels range from $1,600 to $10,000. Reception only tickets are $50 Having women participate in this inaugural event reminds us of the trailblazing women who made up the backbone of the Red Cross that Clara Barton founded 1881. Your attendance supports this institution that has remained strong and stable and one that helps many every day during local, national and international disasters. The Greater Rochester Chapter of the American Red Cross responds to nearly 380 families a year who have been victims of a disaster. In addition, we continue to provide training in life-saving skill such as CPR and first aid while also providing nearly half of our nation’s blood supply. Proceeds from this tournament help these vital services and many more such as our services to the Armed Forces. Please contact Lorraine Clements at 241-4420 or lorraine.clements@redcross.org for more information.

chatter ::platter

Blu Wolf Bistro

Classy, Yet Casual Dining

By Nicole Shein | Photos by Brandon Vick

::SHIFT+CONTROL

You can hardly travel a block on Park Avenue without encountering a trendy cafe (CiBon, Roam), a restaurant offering extensive American fare (Jine’s, the Frog Pond), or a speciality cuisine (Furoshiki, Dorado, Esan, Cheese Masters). And of course there are bars aplenty (Half Pint, Magpie, Dragonfly). What’s been missing from the Park Ave scene, until recently, was a gastro-pub that offers upscale food, a wide selection of high-end beers, and a classy yet casual atmosphere that’s equally appropriate at lunchtime and late night. Enter Blu Wolf Bistro. Occupying the prime location that used to be Colie’s Cafe, on the corner of Park and Berkeley, this new venture is just different enough to stand out in a sea of established venues, without overwhelming the neighborly feel that regularly brings locals and out-of-towners to this everpopular area of Rochester. In the months after its opening, Blu Wolf has gained a reputation as the place to go for inventive or classic burgers -- a friend of mine recently posted on his Facebook page that he’d found Jesus in a cheeseburger at Blu Wolf -- as well as french fries and milkshakes. Their burger meat is specially ground by Palmer’s, and is a mixture of short rib and prime rib. Although I was disappointed during my recent visit that I didn’t have the opportunity to taste these transcendental burgers, I did get to try a riff on them, the bistro’s Wolf Bites. For these, Chef Kevin Champion takes bacon-cheeseburger mix, forms it into two- or three-bite balls, wraps them in puff pastry, and fries them. They’re served with a secret, slightly spicy Wolf sauce, and might make a nice starter to share for those who don’t want to commit to the entire meat-laden experience of a burger. On the other end of the spectrum is the Burger Challenge -- the kind of thing you’d see on Man Vs. Food, a TV program that Blu Wolf hopes to attract with their $35 dare to carnivores. It’s simple, really: just eat a pound of fries, drink a milkshake, and eat a sandwich comprised of 4 eight-ounce hamburgers, one macaroni-and-cheese patty, 3 strips of bacon and all the trimmings. Even nonfinishers can feel good about their attempt, as a portion of the proceeds are donated to charity. Other fun burger options include the Dr. Seuss (pesto, fried egg and ham), the Irish Nacho (fries, bacon, cheese) and the Bloody Mary. Blu Wolf is also experimenting with game burgers, including ostrich and boar, for the adventurous palates. Don’t eat red meat? Not a problem. There are several non-beef sandwiches on the menu, as well as soups and six distinct salads. During my tasting, I was served the Blu Harvest variety, wherein grilled chicken tops a seemingly ubiquitous combination of field greens, fruit (apples, in this case), candied nuts and blue cheese. Out of the several dishes I tasted, however, the standout was a grilled salmon filet-- perfectly cooked to flake underneath my fork, then topped with a lovely dill compound butter. Milkshakes are another signature item at Blu Wolf, and I would’ve loved to taste either the caramel pretzel or maple bacon flavors. There’s also a mint Oreo flavor, as well as old friends chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Brunch at Blu Wolf, served on Saturdays and Sundays, is a mix of the expected (omelettes, pancakes, egg combos) and the imaginative (Donut Burger, anyone? or how about The Hangover -- mac-n-cheese, sausage, sausage gravy, bacon and eggs, served over home fries?), including several tempting varieties of Eggs Benedict. Naturally, you’ll want a beverage to imbibe with your burger, Benedict, salad or chicken wings. Blu Wolf obliges with dozens of beers on tap, an impressive wine selection, and several wine-based cocktails (there’s no hard liquor served, for now).

Blu Wolf Bistro I 657 Park Avenue I www.bluwolfbistro.com

rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

forward ::Fashion

Fashionista

meet a local

By Joan e. lincoln

It was a year ago this April that I had the pleasure and honor of being recognized as the “Cover Girl” for the 2013 RWM April Issue for my entrepreneurial spirit!! Reflecting back on how my life has changed and the opportunities that I have been afforded from a year ago, I definitely hadn’t expected to be hired to tell my “Perfectly Panache” story to financial institutions, have a regular segment on WARM 101.3 FM Radio with Tony in The Morning, and lastly be asked to be featured on a syndicated Talk Show. Almost daily, I am introduced to and impressed by other women in the local fashion market who have that same entrepreneurial spirit. I decided it would be fun to introduce one of my favorites and collaborate this article with her story. Jennifer and I met at Fashion Week of Rochester’s Boutique Crawl a few years back. She had been writing her blog, Flower City Fashionista for less than a year at that point and it’s amazing to see how much our businesses have grown since then. There is a vibrant creative community here in Rochester. As the local fashion scene continues to expand, it is truly an exciting time to be a local entrepreneur. Since its inception in 2011, Flower City Fashionista has continued to build upon its mission to promote fashion, shopping, and beauty in Rochester. Its local roots continue to be a focus, while working with national brands and publications has allowed it to reach a broader audience. What started as a hobby for a stay-at-home mom has turned into a full fledged career. “The support I’ve received from the local community has been astounding,” says Jennifer Sanzo, the voice behind Flower City Fashionista. “From modeling opportunities, to working backstage at Fashion Week of Rochester, freelance writing jobs, and invites to exclusive events, the local fashion community has welcomed me with open arms. I have also launched my own personal styling business thanks to Flower City Fashionista.” Perhaps the best thing to come out of blogging has been the opportunity to work with Sears as a Concierge Personal Shopper for ShopYourWay.com. “As a personal shopper, I am able to serve as a virtual stylist to clients all over the country and share my passion for finding fashion on a budget with an everwidening audience. With flexible hours and unlimited income potential, it has afforded me the opportunity to be home with my children while pursuing the career of my dreams. Just last month they flew me to New York to represent Personal Shopper at an exclusive media event with Nene Leakes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It was definitely a ‘pinch-me’ moment.” To keep up with local fashion and beauty happenings or to sign up for complimentary personal shopping services, visit www.flowercityfashionista.com Jennifer and I continue to blend our passion and interest in the local fashion market. She is a regular at Panache Vintage & Finer Consignment assisting her clients and learning about the fashion happenings in the area. Rochester and the Upstate NY area are lucky to have her “THINK BIG” entrepreneurial fashion spirit.

april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

Joan Lincoln owns Panache Vintage and Finer Consignment in Brighton Commons. Her Fashion Forward segment can also be heard every Thursday morning during Wake Up With Tony on WARM 101.3 exploring all of the latest fashion trends and styles.

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Findsto Boo

The Women’s Entr Blog at Simon

Provides a fact-filled forum o by leading Western New York The blog is hosted by Dennis man and entrepreneur, and th V. Ackley Executive Professor The Simon School. This is fa site in Western New York for starting a business, creating a financing, helpful legal directio more information visit www.w

womens ties Women TIES is an organization created to help women entrepreneurs promote and expand their regional marketplace with extensive membership benefits and services. The organization promotes all women entrepreneurs—if you just started in business or have been in business for twenty years. They assist everyone from sole proprietors to women running a hundred person corporations. Women TIES serves businesses downstate or upstate, in the western or eastern part of the state. For more information visit http://www.womenties.com/

april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

Rochester Women’s Netw

Rochester Women’s Network is the premier n for professional women in all stages of thei Rochester Area. RWN members actively suppo their careers, grow their businesses, and devel networking, educational events, and progra strengthens skills in leadership, business, and is committed to the professional and persona For more information or to join RWN, visit

ost your Business

repreneurship

of information delivered k female entrepreneurs. s Kessler, local business he Edward J. and Agnes r of Entrepreneurship at ast becoming the go-to helpful information on a business plan, finding on, and much more. For webatsimon.com

work

networking organization ir careers in the Greater ort one another to advance lop friendships. Through ams, RWN nurtures and d life management. RWN al growth of its members. www.rwn.org

femfessionals A Femfessional is a savvy business woman characterized as positive, openminded, driven, professional, ambitious and desirous of forming strong strategic connections with similar minded professional women to benefit each other personally and professionally and to benefit their community. Femfessionals was created for and continues to be driven by a community of dynamic business women. For young ladies to professional women, Femfessionals creates communities within communities where women support and promote each other unconditionally. For information or to join the local Rochester chapter, visit www.femfessionals.com

Meetup â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Western New York Women Entrepreneurs Meetup is the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s largest network of local groups created to make it easy for anyone to organize a local group or find one of the thousands already meeting up face-to-face. Western New York Women Entrepreneurs Meetup group was founded in September of 2013 to help other local women learn about successful business strategies, effective problem-solving, market expansion and other issues and challenges women entrepreneurs face. To join this or other local groups or to start your own, visit www.meetup.com/ Western-New-York-Women-Entrepreneurs

rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

woman

Protecting the Vision of

::healthy

Visionaries: April is Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eye Health and Safety Month!

By Sraddha Prativadi

We look up to frontier-breaking entrepreneurs as visionaries in this issue of RWM and we have the opportunity to learn from the stories of many leaders in our community. As women, we have immense capabilities with regards to our vision for the future. Paying attention to our vision from a biological perspective will help ensure our legacy and continued growth and creative manifestation of our visions. The burden of eye problems in US was estimated at 139 billion dollars in the last year. Women are more likely than men to lose vision permanently yet very few women are aware of this risk. Women are more likely than men to have eye troubles due to longevity and hormonal influences. In addition, women are the most likely care-givers for their children, parents, spouses, partners and community and thus require attention for themselves and information to make wise choices for their loved ones. Prevent Blindness America, a volunteer organization established to raise awareness about diseases of the visual system and fight vision loss, has established April as Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eye Health and Safety month. Women are more likely to suffer from age-related diseases such as acute macular degeneration, glaucoma, cataracts, refractive error and vision impairment. Age-related macular degeneration is the most common cause of vision loss in those over age sixty, with about 2/3 of these people being women. Glaucoma refers to a cluster of disorders that involves abnormally high pressures inside the eye that cause damage to the optic nerve resulting in vision loss. Cataracts refer to a disorder of the lens that causes vision loss. These disorders, along with others that decrease our ability to focus visually, can be detected by an exam with an ophthalmologist or eye specialist. Women are more likely to develop dry eye due to reductions in estrogen with aging. The average age of menopause in the United States is 51. A conversation with the gynecologist usually spans subjects like sexual dysfunction, pain, hot flashes, sleep and emotional disturbances. The visual system may also undergo changes that may result in loss of vision and is an important aspect of menopausal care to address. Vision changes can occur in pregnancy due to many normal physiologic of the eye. However, women with diabetes and gestational 18changes april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

diabetes require special attention and should see their eye care specialist to ensure the health of their visual systems. The safe use of cosmetics is important to pay attention to as well. Using products from reputable companies and proper cleansing and care of the eyes at the end of the day is important to prevent damage and inflammation of the various sensitive structures of the visual system. Workplace eye safety is an area of particular concern with the increasing use of digital devices. Dry eye, blurred vision and headaches are the common symptoms of digital eye strain and is said to be experienced by about 70% of the American work force and those with high use of tablets, smart phones and digital screens. Prevent Blindness recommends a 20-20-20 rule; every 20 minutes look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. In addition, eye protective gear is important in occupations with potential eye injury such as construction, manufacturing, and healthcare where exposure to foreign objects and biohazard materials also may impact vision.

Here are some simple tips to protect your visual health: Get a dilated eye exam with your eye care specialist. Quit smoking Take supplements that support eye health. Observe eye safety measures at home, leisure and work. Wear UV blocking eyewear and a brimmed hat in high sunlight. Keep yourself healthy overall, which includes diet, exercise, rest, hydration and regular checkups to your health care professionals. For more information and tips, consider visiting www.seejanesee. preventblindness.org. Women in so many ways create the future of society, business, indeed the world! We are visionaries and protecting our eyes and empowering those with visual deficits is critical to our legacy on the planet. Dr. Sraddha Prativadi is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist practicing at Madonna OBGYN, Invision Health and serving as a clinical instructor at the University of Rochester Medical Center. www.madonnaobgyn.com

rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

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part 2 ::your mental health:

When One of Your Therapists is

a Horse

By Rachel L. Charleton, MSc., LMFT, ACSW

It’s 6:00 AM and the mist is mingling with the amber sun rising over Healing Hills, a 125 acre horse farm nestled in the Palmyra hills of upstate New York. I am an Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) specialist as well as a trained horse professional. Under my guidance, clients and horses work together to overcome life’s hurdles and address personal, emotional, and relational challenges. I’ve worked with horses for as long as I can remember, and from an early age recognized the therapeutic effect they had at stressful times in my own life. In 2004 I found a way to combine my passion for horses with my profession as a therapist, through Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP). I love therapies that engage the physical body to accelerate the emotional healing process, so this was a perfect fit for me! I’d never thought of myself as an “entrepreneur” but after starting InterAct Counseling with my husband (Chris Charleton) I increased my herd of horses to include seven Friesians, three Paints, and a Quarter horse, and started my own company Windsong Family Therapy. I called the farm Healing Hills and designed it to be available for the counseling done through both Windsong and InterAct. EAP is often misunderstood; people think it’s horseback riding therapy for people with physical challenges, but all the work that we do with the horse is done on the ground. I work hand-in-hand with the therapists at InterAct, where we use EAP as a compliment to regular therapy when clients are feeling “stuck.” Equine can be a great way to shake things up and get a lot more movement going. The power of equine therapy and the richness of the sessions is something you can’t quite capture in a regular talk therapy session. Horses are particularly sensitive, responsive and useful for helping people process and heal from trauma. EAP is now being recognized by the Veterans Association for its effectiveness with people who have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or any kind of trauma. I’ve also seen tremendous results for those struggling with depression, anxiety, addictions, eating disorders, and difficult relationship patterns. You can use it with individual children, adolescents or adults; couples, families, sport/business teams, or any kind

of group. Because horses are so interactive and such intuitive creatures, they are a great tool to use in multiple contexts. We tailor each activity to the individual client, so the experience will be one of a kind. The sessions are highly dynamic, variable and refreshingly unpredictable. Each grows out of the client’s personality and need, taking a direction that organically works to resolve their concerns. It’s a wonderfully natural process. One of the most beautiful things about horses is that their insides match their outsides. They react in the moment and are emotionally present at all times. We use these qualities to recreate the relational dynamics experienced in a client’s personal life in a non-threatening way. The activities help clients develop a variety of skills, like non-verbal communication, creative thinking, or problem-solving. By experiencing what works and what doesn’t with the horses, clients can learn how to deal with anxiety, anger, conflict or rash impulses. We work on things like assertiveness, leadership, initiative, risk-taking, relational interaction, self-confidence, playfulness, attitude, teamwork, and so on. The client’s reactions and responses to the exercises guide the discussion and self-reflective exploration that follows. It’s a great way to engage people who are hesitant about therapy. For example, we’ve had wonderful results with men who have difficulty connecting at the emotional level. The way that we work with the animals creates a safe place for a very natural expression of emotion. A lot of people really enjoy it; most form bonds with the horses fairly quickly. We’ve had some people who were initially terrified of horses or resistant, but by the end of the session they didn’t want to leave! Equine-assisted programs serve as powerful, impactful and effective agents of growth, hope and change. We welcome the opportunity to assist you in tailoring an equine-assisted activity to meet your needs. Rachel L. Charleton, MSc., LMFT, ACSW is a marriage and family therapist. In addition to a Master of Science degree from Loma Linda University she acquired a post degree diploma in Educational and Counseling Psychology from the University of Calgary, Alberta, Canada. She is a level II clinical therapist and horse specialist with the Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association (EAGALA) and directs experiential therapies for InterAct Counseling in Penfield, NY.

Equine Assisted Psychotherapy • Addictions • Problematic Behaviors • Relational Difficulties • Trauma • Depression & Anxiety • Eating Disorders

www.interactcounseling.com

•

585-388-8010

::leading

woman

g n i p l he other Marlene’s Philosophy

“We sweat the small stuff, like taking care of many small details…it’s all part of the service,” explains Marlene. “We’re very thorough and if a client calls with a question or concern we’re here to help. We can even provide some useful tools to help clients with many of the day-to-day financial responsibilities of life like preparing a budget to help them better manage their money.” april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

For Marlene Dattilo, the long days filled with hard work are more than worth it because she gets to do what she loves every day. This passion for her craft has become the foundation of her successful career with Financial Architects. Dattilo got her start in the industry with a position in the investment and insurance businesses after graduating from St. John Fisher College with a degree in marketing management. At the time, like most college students, she was excited to enter the professional world any way she could. “I knew that even though I probably didn’t plan on making a career out of it, it would be a good skill to know in life in general, but the rest is history,” said Dattilo. After a few years, she shifted into a position with Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company. When some management changes were made, she moved to the banking industry to work in the trust and investment division for five years before ultimately returning to MassMutual in the Financial Architects division more than 14 years ago. In her current role as a certified financial planner, Dattilo mainly does consulting for closely-held business owners in both the business and personal aspects of a company. The focus of this consulting is often on making the transition out of the business as easy as possible for her clients. “My goal is to make sure that they not only exit efficiently, but with as much of their wealth in tact as possible,” said Dattilo, also noting that she tries to ensure her long term planning gives companies the ability to stay in Upstate N.Y. when they do make that transition to new ownership. What sets Dattilo apart from others in her industry is her emphasis on a personal connection with her clients, recognizing that for many of them, this business is like another family member. “I really get a charge out of getting to know the story behind how entrepreneurs became successful,” said Dattilo. “If I can really relate to that on an emotional level and understand how much their business means to them, I think it makes me a better planner. When you can make a really good connection it means a lot. It makes coming to work and doing the work for the clients so easy and enjoyable.” Dattilo’s closely-held business clients range from smaller, independent ‘Mom and Pop’ stores to larger-scale medical practices and

manufacturing companies located mainly in Rochester, with a few in the Buffalo area as well.

woman

By Krista Bellardo | Photos by Stephen Reardon

::leading

rs Invest in Their Future Since Dattilo has her own firm under Financial Architects, she has been able to build a staff while also taking on the responsibilities of payroll, bill paying and revenue generation. The week is often a mix between time spent crunching numbers and time used to meet and interact with her clients, some of which have been with her for more than 20 years. Throughout most of her career, Dattilo has balanced her professional life with her role as a wife and mother of four. She still tries to take time to be away from the business to connect with her family. Whether that is by hitting the gym, travelling with her husband or spending time in the great outdoors, Dattilo credits her talented staff with allowing her to totally disconnect during her time off. For many years Dattilo, along with her husband, have been doing what they can to give back to the community. Dattilo serves on the board for the Mary Cariola Children’s Center as well as helping them in other facets of their company. She is also connected to the Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester, the George Eastman Circle and associations within her own industry. The nature and skills associated with Dattilo’s job lends itself very well to fundraising. “With any not-for-profit I’ve ever been affiliated with, I’ve always been on the fundraising arm, which I really enjoy,” said Dattilo. “I would love to make that a retirement job someday.” Dattilo is a perfect example of a woman who has worked hard to make a name for herself, in what she notes is still a fairly male dominated field. Her advice to others that hope to be successful in business is to be passionate; a feeling she is very familiar with in her work. “You have to do what you love because you are going to spend a lot of hours a day at it,” said Dattilo. “If you are happy those hours of the day, you’ll be happy when you’re at home. They are all very connected.”

“

When you can make a really good connection it means a lot.

rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

” 25

Is the

::fitness

DIET

right for you? Byanissa buckley

Proponents of the Paleo (“caveman”) diet follow a nutritional plan based on the eating habits of our ancestors in the Paleolithic period, between 2.5 million and 10,000 years ago. Before agriculture and industry, humans lived as hunter/gatherers, picking berries, digging roots and scavenging meat. Most Paleo dieters of today do none of this, with the exception of an occasional treasure “hunt” down the aisles of Natures Marketplace or Trader Joes. If you were to follow a true Paleo diet, grains, rice, lentils, beans, peas and sugar are off limits. Nuts are okay and meat should be consumed in large quantities and cooked in animal fat. Paleo dieters can eat fruit and vegetables, but processed sugars are strictly prohibited. There are equal numbers of critics and advocates of the diet. Critics of the Paleo diet range from “it’s certainly not the worst way to eat” to “it’s nonsensical and dangerously restrictive and can lead to increased risk of heart disease and cancer”. Keep in mind only a few of our Paleo ancestors lived past the age of 4o. On the flip side, Paleo advocates cite weight loss, increased energy, less inflammation and better digestive health as positives from following the plan. Are there things we can learn from this foray into the dietetic past? Of course:

1. Eat unprocessed natural foods – “Clean eating” (consuming whole foods), as close to nature as possible, is just simply better for you.

2. Avoid added sugars and salts – By eliminating processed foods, your sugar and salt consumption will be greatly reduced, minimizing your risk of heart disease and Type 2 Diabetes. 3. Combine a healthy diet with exercise - a diet and exercise plan should be part of a

whole healthy lifestyle approach. Research shows that combining diet and exercise is the best way to achieve weight loss.

4. Cook for yourself – Restaurant portions have grown as our waistlines have grown, and only the chef knows how much butter and salt went into that delicious dish. When food is prepared in your own kitchen, you know exactly what’s in it and how it will affect your body.

5. Easy on the alcohol – There certainly were no Cosmos or Mojitos back in the caveman days. From a pure nutritional perspective, alcohol is wasted calories; it slows your metabolism, and more importantly is a common factor in missed workouts.

I am sorry to say there is no perfect diet. It’s not surprising that people who “go Paleo” feel better—especially if they were previously eating a typical American diet, high in salt and sugar. The question is whether they would feel equally good on a less extreme regimen—because it takes tremendous commitment to stick to restrictive diets for the long term and, more importantly, there is no research, yet, on the impact of these extreme diets. Fortunately, a diet does not have to be all-or-nothing. Who says you can’t go 50% Paleo? Shifting your diet to include fewer processed foods, eliminating empty calories, and including more whole and nutrient-dense foods is a step in the right direction for anyone and will surely help you feel better. Anissa Buckley is President of Real Life Food and Fitness, a “first of a kind” weight loss program that combines a fresh, satisfying meal program with fun, high intensity workouts in a motivational team environment. For more information, visit www.reallifefoodandfitness.com 28

april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

Easter Brunch Sunday April 20th, 2014 - Seatings at 11am, 1:30pm & 4pm The Shore Restaurant - 585-394-1480

770 South Main Street Canandaigua, NY 14424 - 585-394-7800 - www.theinnonthelake.com

feature ::special

A‘Nuggetof Wisdom’ By ashley cooper

Throughout history, Rochester has been home to many successful entrepreneurs. After all it was here that incredible companies like Kodak, Xerox and Bausch and Lomb were born from simple ideas and grew to multi-million dollar Fortune 500 companies. According to the Rochester Business Journal, the latest annual rating by American City Business Journals’ On Numbers ranks Rochester as the fourth-strongest market for small businesses in the Eastern United States and the 21st nationwide. Clearly, the entrepreneurial spirit in Rochester is alive and well and in many cases women are leading the way. We interviewed some of the incredible women entrepreneurs we’ve featured in our past issues asked them to pass on their own “nuggets of wisdom” to our readers who may be thinking of stepping out of their comfort zone and starting a business of their own. Here is what they had to say:

“Whether you’re dreaming of owning your own business or are already there, ask yourself these three questions: Are my gifts, talents and experience in line with my vision for my business? Is there a definite need or market for what my business offers? Do I love continually learning more about what I do and have a desire - no, an all-out unquenchable drive - to do it better than anyone else? If the answer to these questions is a resounding “Yes!” then you are unstoppable. The hard work, sacrifices and occasional failures you may encounter will make your success all the sweeter.”-Sherry Schaefer, Alternative Hair “Make sure you have a personal board of directors. It is so important that you have a team behind you, because things are going to get rough at some point, and you need people who think differently than you in order to prosper and problem-solve. And beware: You’ll need more than the cheerleader-types on your board. You also need the person who tells you what you don’t want to hear, someone who’s always thinking about the dollar, and perhaps someone else who is an innovator always thinking about new ideas.” –Tanvi Asher, Peppermint “If, at the end of the day, you have more dreams than memories than your risks aren’t BIG enough!” –Joan Lincoln, Panache Vintage Consignment “It is more than ok to make mistakes- it is just not ok to make the same mistakes again. One must learn and not repeat.” –Jane Mazur, J Mazur Consulting “’You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it yourself. –Glinda.’”-Cynthia Kyle, CL Kyle, Image Consultants “Never give up your dream! Revise it, streamline it but never give it up!”-Dr. Cynthia McGill, Priceless Vessels “Doing one’s best is a fine goal, but doing it every day takes discipline, consistency and a constant eye.”Edythe Gansz, Empire Appraisal Associates “Being an entrepreneur has so much to do with sales. Just remember to be consistent, persistent and for every door that closes, there is always another that opens.” –Gia Marie, Gia Skincare “I find the need to prove myself as a serious artist and business woman. I would like people to know that just because I have boobs and because I’m dressed to the nines and walking in three- inch stilettos, doesn’t mean I’m not capable of handling my own equipment, and everything else that goes along with that. I rely on no one but myself, because I’ve found over time that myself is the one constant that I can rely on.”-Amanda Ashley, Amanda Ashley Music “My advice to aspiring entrepreneurs is to join or build a trusted group of advisors outside your profession and client base. Meet with this group monthly, share opportunities and challenges. They should be people who you can confide in and who will offer different perspectives to you and you to them. This professional peer group should keep each other grounded when times get tough and privately celebrate their wins.” –Michelle Ashby, Tipping Point Media “Be remarkable - simple phrase that guides and anchors almost every decision you make.”-Tracy Till, Butler/Till

april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

“Work will consume you so put your family first and count your blessings each day, the rest will follow.” –Andrea O’Neil for Casa Larga Vineyards

story ::cover

Angella Luyk

Overcoming the Odds

One of Rochesterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Most Successful Entrepreneursâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

By Ashley Cooper | Photos by Stephen Reardon

4. Pick out a reward for yourself 5. Visualize yourself achieving your goal 6. Create your plan: how are you going to achieve your goals? 7. Take action

The Rochester native’s road to success might have been unconventional, but Luyk wouldn’t have it any other way. “I’ve always been different,” she insists. In fact, Luyk admits that she did not even complete high school after feeling decidedly unchallenged…and perhaps a little bored.

Equipped with a passion for working with children, Luyk went on to serve as a nanny to triplet girls for a five-year span before pursuing an established career. “I loved the kids, but didn’t want that to be my life.” “I had met my husband [Harry], who, at that time owned a janitorial business called, ‘Elegant Cleaning.’ I told him that it was a terrible name,” she laughs. “He told me, ‘You couldn’t clean for me’ as I was very into hair, makeup and shoes; I didn’t get dirty. I thought, ‘I can’t do something? Don’t tell me I can’t do something…I don’t like that.”

story

However, Luyk, humbled by the rapid success of her business, known as, “Midnight Janitorial”, is easy to talk to. It is her approachability, her empathetic nature, her impeccable sense of humor, outstanding work ethic and profit savvy that has propelled her into being one of the area’s leading entrepreneurs. Luyk, author of the popular “How-To” manual, Wisdom in a Traffic Jam (and of the monthly RWM columns by the same name) is not only owner and Chief Executive Officer of both Midnight Janitorial and One Stop Janitorial and Carpet Supply, but is a heedful community advocate with an active role in Rochester Women’s Network (as President), Junior Achievement and with SCORE professional business counseling as a mentor. She From ‘Wisdom in a was additionally the recipient Traffic Jam’ of the 2008 Rochester Business “Setting your goals will be Ethics award, the 2009 American what helps motivate you Business Ethics Award and when things get tough. named “Home-Based Champion When your business is of the Year” by the US Small running smoothly, life Business Administration (SBA) is easy, but it will not Buffalo/Rochester and Region. In 2010, Luyk was honored as always be that way. You an ATHENA Award finalist. need something to push you when the business Midnight Janitorial has recently falls on hard times… reached the 1 million dollar Here are the steps for mark—a veritable milestone setting and reaching nodding to the years of your goals: perspiration and determination invested by its owner. 1. Define your goal 2. Write your goal down “I never thought I would be a 3. Break your goal down business owner,” shares Luyk. “I always thought I would be to more manageable a teacher or a lawyer.” goals (mini goals)

“Not my finest moment,” she reflects, adding that with time, she realized the critical role of education as a stepping stone to success and returned to Monroe Community College as well as the State University of New York at Brockport.

::cover

Favorably situated in the hub of the newly-acquired warehouse (poised to accommodate the contents of a janitorial supply source) is Angella Luyk’s office. In the midst of the distribution center with an industrial-feel, Luyk’s office is anything but prosaic. Much like her personality, Luyk’s personal workspace is a joy to behold: vibrant, marked by bold colors in funky purples and deep reds. The expanse is decked out in fun and feminine décor, like the bedazzled Eiffel Tower accessory gracing the main wall, or the over-sized, plush “high-heel” occupying the corner. Luyk, with the palsy-walsy mien of an old friend, amicably invites me inside, and we proceed with the interview. “I talk fast,” she warns.

With that, in the same inexorable spirit, Luyk rolled up her sleeves and began working for her husband as a professional cleaner for his independent custodial service company. When Harry expressed an interest in flipping houses, the economy began to take a tumble and thus, the market tanked. Luyk was left out of a job, but not bereft of the true grit and unfeigned curiosity of an entrepreneur. “I thought, ‘what am I going to do?’” says Luyk. “And a woman who I had met at the time said, ‘Buy the business. Take over. Run it your way.’ I didn’t have any business background. I was a waitress and a high school dropout! But I did Junior Achievement. I did very well with that. In fact, I went to Indiana University to represent New York State in a competition. I thought, ‘I’m smart; I can do this!’ …And I took the business, made it ‘Midnight Janitorial, made a lot of changes, and seven years later, we’re at the million dollar mark.” Always quick to absorb knowledge, Luyk claims she took the initiative to read incessantly. In fact, for every aspect of running a business, Luyk consulted a book, sometimes multiple books. “I think that’s the biggest misconception for business owners—that you know how to do everything right away,” remarks Luyk. “I knew we had to interview people, but I didn’t know what to ask or what to look for, so I got ‘Interviews for Dummies!’” she laughs. “We won the ‘Ethics’ award; I thought, ‘I think we’re ethical,’ and I read ‘Ethics for Dummies!’ I think I have that whole ‘Dummies’ series. Books have been my savior; everything I’ve done, I have a book on.” Luyk is quick to turn around, dispersing her acquired knowledge and experience to aspiring entrepreneurs, or any professional seeking self-betterment. She has selflessly taken the time to mentor others, entertain a plethora of questions and divulge words of wisdom in various local publications, including RWM. As successful businessmen and women counseled Luyk (and continue to do so) in her time of need, so is she to pay the deed forward.“Never stop learning,” she persists. “You’re a sponge. Absorb all that you can. Seek out professionals. That’s what they’re there for.” Luyk is publicly recognized, in fact, for her community outreach. What the public may not understand, however, is that she suffers from an unidentified illness that has nearly claimed her life on multiple occasions. Her malady has caused her to spend an excessive amount of time in a hospital bed, where in fact, she penned (literally, hand-wrote) her book: Wisdom in a Traffic Jam. “I never let it bother me,” optimistically affirms Luyk of her health. “I would have parties in the hospital at night with the nurses…But I wanted to be able to [still help] the people who wanted to meet with me. It would get lonely in the hospital at 2am. So I would pull out a spiral notebook and I would start writing. rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

story ::cover

“When that happens, I just put on a really cute pair of shoes and I go to bed.”

I wrote everything I knew: how to network, how to sell, how to build a business, how to get advertising. Before I knew it, I had ten chapters. I think the book was my way of giving back and now, it can never be taken away from me.” Luyk’s insistence on putting others first is a key ingredient in the recipe for the success of Midnight Janitorial. Her ‘golden rule’ in business, to treat both clients and employees how she would like to be treated,’ has led to a fulfilling career that has virtually exceeded her expectations, and motivate her to press on in her entrepreneurial journey. As mentioned, Luyk values her employees and is first and foremost committed to their welfare and protection. Many of her 63 employees have disabilities as Luyk has collaborated with Vocational and Educational Services for Individuals with Disabilities (VESID) and the Family Learning Center to recruit competent workers and grant them the opportunities that they may not find elsewhere. She hosts annual holiday and summer parties, distributes turkeys at Thanksgiving and rewards employees with their very own pizza parties when a client commends them for great work. Luyk has even implemented a program in which employees are paid to volunteer at their preferred charity. “We are like a family here,” says Luyk. “My employees are happy…they would do anything for us, and I would do anything, in return, for them. I’ve been in the hospital to visit them, to weddings, to baby showers; they’re part of my life. It’s about respect and I really think that’s helped to build our business.” It’s evident that Luyk has a beautiful heart. She never ceases to investigate opportunities to serve others. When asked where this remarkable quality comes from, Luyk alludes to her grandmother. “She instilled in us that if you have something, and someone else needs it, you give it to them,” recalls Luyk. “I remember her so well for that…just loving everybody. I want to be like my grandmother.” With two businesses to manage, as well as a host of employees and several community outreach commitments to fulfill, Luyk certainly has her hands full. The job, though rewarding, is not without its fair share of challenges. “When that happens, I just put on a really cute pair of shoes and I go to bed,” shares Luyk. “Try it. You know you will. And you’ll wiggle your toes, and remember how cute your shoes are, and how rockin’ you are.”

april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

::cover

story

â&#x20AC;&#x153;

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.â&#x20AC;? -Ella Wheeler Wilcox

â&#x20AC;?

rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

Better Brands. Better Prices. Better Earth.

e Reb

uild

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minute ::the menopause

E C A F C I L B U P E H T OF MENOPAUSE

By James Woods, MD

On a single night inFebruary, Menopause The Musical played to a full house in Rochester, New York. Opened in 2001 in a 76 seat theater in Orlando, Florida and now showing worldwide, it incorporates 25 popular songs from the 1960s to 1980s, with clever word arrangements provided by four outstanding vocalists, to address most of the common personal menopausal issues women struggle to understand. Everyone who has had the opportunity to see this musical knows how brilliant it is. Yet as I looked around the room, I was impressed by the large number of men in the audience. And with musical humor this singular entertainment event has become the poster child of a major change that is occurring in our society; the public conversation of a one-time forbidden topic. Have we elevated the biology of menopause to parallel public efforts in diabetes, heart disease and cancer? Not yet. We are more comfortable with the topic of women’s health than in the days of the two -twin beds of I Love Lucy. But have we made meaningful progress? The media certainly have desensitized us with nonstop sex and violence. How many magazines displayed in grocery stores offer lead articles suggesting “100 Ways That Your Man Can Make Your Sex Better.” Or “What Women Want From Their BoyToy.” Yet the personal and intimate discussions that women should have with their partners and their care providers about their own bodies have been off limit until recently. As with any topic involving the body, there are issues that are personal to the woman, and those that impact directly on the partnership. Menopause medicine today is elevating women’s health to a new level. Today’s care provider must be educated in management of mood swings, memory loss, hot flashes, skin changes, pain on intercourse, incontinence, breast, bone, and cardiac health.

Pain on intercourse (dyspareunia), however, is possibly the most private of menopausal issues to which a couple must deal. Lower levels of estrogen lead to vaginal dryness and tissue changes that can cause painful intercourse. Why do I say “couple?” Why were there so many men at Menopause The Musical? Menopause is not just a woman’s problem; it embraces the entire relationship and men realize that. Loss of intimacy leads to struggles with depression. Mood swings accelerate her depression. And with that comes a further deterioration of the relationship. Witness the husband and wife who present for an initial consult. He says, “Please, can you help us? She has no energy, she never laughs any more and we no longer have sex.” In that same safe environment, she says “What has happened to me? In my forties I had lots of energy, pep, was full of fun and loved sex. Now I don’t even know who I am.” Today we as care providers benefit from the knowledge that scientists have provided to help us to become better educators in the field of menopause. And from our heightened awareness of the couple’s needs we can advance the importance of diet and exercise, weight loss, role of alternative medicines, and finally, hormonal management. The menopause pendulum is swinging in a positive direction and women and their families will benefit. Knowledge is power. James Woods, MD is the former Chair of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Rochester School of Medicine. If you would like to have Dr. Woods answer any questions, please feel free to contact him at James_Woods@ URMC.Rochester.edu.

Henry Hess, MD, PhD

Jim Woods, MD

The Hess/Woods/Warshof Obstetrics and Gynecology practice specializes in perimenopausal and menopausal care and welcomes new patients to our practice. Patients are seen at 2255 South Clinton Avenue Rochester, NY 14618 To make an appointment, please call 585.271.7800

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Saginaw Plaza • 1425 Jefferson Road Rochester, New York • 585.272.7320 www.baldness.com

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matters ::local business

Artistry in Confections By Adriana Lipomi | Photo by Brandon Vick

JoAnn Marowski of “Simply Irresistible Confections” is fortunate enough to be able to vocationally combine her skill and creativity with her standards in quality and hospitality. Her work spans a wide range from fun, chocolate-dipped Oreos to classy three-layer cakes, ribbon-tied tiramisu, and triple-chocolate mousses---all crafted with the flair of a true artist. “Everything I make, I make as though the customer was a guest in my home. To me, that means quality ingredients,” says Marowski. Her pride in her work is clear, as I bite down into the impossibly light and fresh quiche she has placed before me. To Marowski, it’s not enough to create a product that looks elegant - - it also has to taste great, and have a touch of the unexpected as well. Her delightful creations can be found on her Facebook page, which is updated frequently. Customer service is another main focus for Marowski. “Building relationships is key for survival,” she says, and makes a point to be available for customers whenever she can. Even when the store front is closed, Marowski can usually be found in the bakery, and can often be reached on her phone to pull together a quick last-minute request. Being accessible to customers is also her way of getting around the limited storefront hours, which have been a challenge. At this point, the shop is open from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., and is closed Monday, Thursday, and Sunday. While the hours may be frustrating for her walk-in clientele, they are necessary, as she uses this time to fill larger orders and spend time with family and her church community. In fact, her involvement in church is part of what brought ‘Simply Irresistible’ into being. One day, her pastor made a request for people to write and lecture about their hidden talents - - to give voice to that tiny idea in the back of their minds. After giving her talk, JoAnn realized that this is truly what she wants, and she sat down with her husband to formulate a plan. They started out of their home, with limited products, focusing mostly on cookies and gift baskets. Her husband “has always been very, very supportive,” and thanks to his understanding of finance, she was able to put all of her focus on the creative aspect of the business. They worked out of the home for four years before deciding to take a risk and rent out the shop they have today. When I ask about the effectiveness of her tiny storefront on Culver, Marowski replies enthusiastically, noting that Seabreeze is a tight-knit community, and is always looking to support one of their own. It did not take long to gain some very loyal customers - - the kind who show up like clockwork on the same day each week, or occasionally give thank-you presents, which are then proudly displayed throughout the shop. Even her apron was a gift. This level of appreciation speaks not only of her work, but her character as well. From the beginning, her business was founded on an attitude of giving, using bold and generous donations to drum up business. In JoAnn’s words, “The donations were important because they helped test the market, and began building relationships with other businesses.” Her efforts paid off, leading to a partnership with Casa Larga, and the freedom to forego traditional advertising. At this point, she has built her business relying solely on word-of-mouth and Facebook. This connection with other local companies gives her an edge over the competition, placing her in a niche all her own. Specifically, her logo printing lends itself well to dealing with other businesses. The quality of the images is crisp and clean; even photographs are rendered successfully, and they are entirely edible. This technique can be used toward anything from cakes and wedding favors, to edible business cards. They have proven to be great promotional tools, as well as a unique way for businesses to show customer appreciation. While these are especially a source of pride, it is clear that JoAnn draws satisfaction from all aspects of her work, and it’s a great thing to see. One of my favorite parts of dealing with small business is being able to directly support someone who is living their dream. Be on the lookout for fun Easter creations coming up, such as homemade “peeps” and peanut butter eggs. And don’t worry about the drive; it’s quicker than you’d think, and well worth it for the excellent company and a taste of the fantastic Swiss Buttercream.

women ::tips for

entrepreneurs

Thrive in Real Estate

A Fresh Perspective on Launching Your Real Estate Business By: Susan Glenz

Are you born to lead? Do you have an innate desire to build an incredible business? More and more entrepreneurs are fulfilling this dream by launching a business in real estate. I launched my business 18 months ago and have a fresh perspective on what it takes to be successful out of the gate. Here are a few of my secrets: 1 Choose Your Business Partner Carefully – The most influential piece of the puzzle in the launch phase of your business is your Broker. All real estate agents must affiliate, or hang their license, with a broker. There are many options to choose from, and I suggest you interview them (yes, you interview them!) to see who will be a good fit. At Keller Williams Realty, we like to think of it as “choosing your business partner”. The key things I was looking for when I chose KW were the level of training and education they offered, the ability for agents to brand their business, the technology available to agents, the systems & models in place and the culture of the company. Choose a broker who will support your vision for your business. 2 Build a Solid Foundation –Any successful business needs a foundation from which to build and grow, which is why I chose to spend my first two months in business working solely on putting down my roots. I attended every class I could. I set up all of my websites and social media platforms. I built a plan, and then I got to work executing that plan and tracking my budget. Don’t rush this part – it will pay off in leaps and bounds down the road by saving you time and money. 3 Brand Yourself - I have experienced, and it is proven with national statistics, that buyers and sellers care more about who they work with directly than their broker’s brand. After all, who picks up the phone to call them at the end of the day? As an entrepreneur with an innate desire to build an incredible business, isn’t your brand recognition part of that dream? So brand yourself – share your unique value proposition with the world. People will listen. 4 Learn. Fail. And Then Learn Some More. – As in any business, never stop learning. The beauty of real estate is that every transaction is different. The industry is constantly changing and evolving, so be committed to staying on top of your game. Embrace failure as an opportunity to be better the next time. Surround yourself with other professionals that will share their experiences and failures to help you be more successful. The culture at Keller Williams® is a culture of sharing and support. 5 Embrace Technology - The real estate industry is rapidly changing with new technologies and online tools. Understand what tools are available to you through your Broker. Keller Williams offers an extensive suite of solutions to complement your business. I also advise you to develop a strong social media presence on Facebook and LinkedIn. Just don’t let these tools replace your 1:1 personal contact with your customers and clients. 6 Leads, Listings, Leverage – The fundamental principle in real estate, like any business, is lead generation. Where will your customers come from? At Keller Williams®, we teach our agents how to generate their own leads so they will have consistent business and not rely solely on referrals that can dry up during a down market. There’s also a saying in our industry “List to last”. The concept is simple - Listings generate buyers. Listings fuel your business. Once you get to a point where you are outgrowing your current capacity to manage your business, we teach you how to leverage your business by building a team. And that’s where the real fun starts! If you are thinking of starting your real estate business, a great resource is “The Millionaire Real Estate Agent” by Gary Keller, co-founder of Keller Williams Realty. It outlines exactly how to be successful in real estate with four proven business models. You are also welcome to contact me directly at SusanGlenz@kw.com or 585-3404940. I would love to see you succeed!

Real Estate. Like itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never been done before. See what others are saying about their experience! Facebook.com/SusanGlenzTeam

Susan Glenz | Real Estate Salesperson Keller Williams Realty 2000 Winton Rd South Bldg 1, Rochester, NY 14618 Office: 585.340.4940 Email: SusanGlenz@kw.com

Bride

HERE COMES THE

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::queen of

arts

Calling all Broadway

By Brandy Whitbourne

! s t s a i s hu

t n E

Coming to Rochester for the first time is Cameron Mackintosh’s previously acclaimed production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera. Fresh from a sold-out tour in the United Kingdom, the now US National Tour will be held at the Rochester Auditorium Theatre April 16-27. The production features new designs by Paul Brown, costumes by Maria Björnson, new staging by Laurence Connor, new choreography by Scott Ambler along with Matthew Bourne and Cameron Mackintosh overseeing the production. The new show is offering many exciting special effects including the legendary chandelier. Patrons will enjoy the popular songs, “Music of the Night,” “All I Ask Of You,” and “Masquerade” by the cast and orchestra of 52, making it the largest production currently on tour. Critics are raving about this production saying that it is “bigger and better than ever before.” The Sunday Express is deeming the revived tour “stunning, intense and spectacular.” Mackintosh’s rendition of the popular musical is originally based on the French novel Le Fantôme de l’Opéra by Gaston Leroux whose plot is based on a beautiful soprano, Christine Daaé, who becomes the obsession of a mysterious and disfigured musical mastermind. In 1984, Andrew Lloyd Webber contacted Cameron Mackintosh, the co-producer of Cats and Song and Dance, to propose his musical idea, a romance based on Leroux’s book. After a couple trial and errors, Webber found a second-hand copy of the original, long-out-of-print Leroux novel, which stimulated the ever-popular production. The musical first premiered in London’s West End in 1986, when it won the Olivier Award and Broadway in 1988 when it won the Tony Award for Best Musical and Michael Crawford won both the Olivier and Tony Awards for Best Actor in a Musical. It is longest running show in Broadway history. The cast includes Cooper Grodin as The Phantom, Julia Udine as Christine Daaé, Grace Morgan as Christine Daaé during some performances and ensemble, Ben Jacoby as Raoul, the Vicomte de Chagny, Jacquelynne 46 april 2014 rochesterWomanMag.com Fontaine as ::Carlotta Giuicelli, Craig Bennett as Monsieur Firmin,

Edward Staudenmayer as Monsieur Andre, Linda Balgord as Madame Giry, Frank Viveros as Ubaldo Piangi, Hannah Florence as Meg Giry and many more. Cooper Grodin was born and raised in Manhattan where he attended LaGuardia High School of Music, Art and Performing Arts. He later earned his Bachelor of Music in Vocal performance from the University of Wisconsin Madison and his Masters in Vocal Performance from the Manhattan School of Music. He is a singer of all genres and an accomplished pianist and composer. Julia Udine is excited to begin her first ever tour with the cast. Raised in Southern New Jersey, she studied vocally with Melissa Daniels and received ballet training from Andrea Duffin who both helped her pursue her dreams. Her theater credits include: Jack’s Back (Jenny), West Side Story (Maria). TV: Law and Order SVU, All My Children. Grace Morgan is also making her touring debut. As a graduate of the University of Michigan, she has sung for multiple vocal recordings for MTI’s Broadway Jr. Series. Her credits include Grease (Sandy, Forestburgh Playhouse) and A Little Night Music (Anne, Indiana Repertory Theatre). Ben Jacoby earned an undergraduate degree in English Literature and Theatre from Denison University and an MFA in Acting from UC Irvine. He is currently living in Chicago and is coming to the production from the Chicago-area Marriott Theatre (South Pacific, Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 and Now and Forever: The Music of Andrew Lloyd Webber). Regionally, Ben has appeared at the Milwaukee Repertory Theatre (Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility), Maine State Music Theatre (Fabrizio in The Light in the Piazza) and in several productions at the Utah Shakespeare Festival including Tom in The Glass Menagerie and Leartes in Hamlet. You won’t want to miss the rare opportunity to enjoy the wonder of the timeless production responsible for changing the way we approach the Broadway musical. Prospective patrons can purchase tickets at the Auditorium Theater box office, online at www.rbtl.org or by calling 585-222-5000. Tickets begin at $37.50. Information on the musical can be found at www.rbtl.org and www. thephantomoftheopera.com/ustour.

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Inspire

rochester women

Michelle Hutchinson

Co-Founder and Managing Partner, Brown & Hutchinson

by Amy Gallo | Photo by stephen reardon

Michelle Hutchinson has always put a lot of pressure on herself. But, born in 1958 to a German mother and African-American father, Hutchinson always felt like she had something to prove. “Growing up, my brother and I were the half-black ones or the half-white ones – we never really fit in with either group,” she says. “We both became overachievers. I felt like I had to really be something extraordinary or special to be accepted.” Her extraordinary career choice? “It was either law or medicine – Chemistry 101 was my undoing, so law it was!” A self-described “school junkie,” Hutchinson started taking college courses during her senior year at Rochester’s Edison Tech High School and went on to the University at Buffalo to earn a BA in Political Science, an MBA and a MA in Geography with a concentration in International Trade. She finished her law degree from DePaul University in Chicago. After working for the law departments of both the cities of Chicago and Rochester, Hutchinson was presented with the opportunity to start a firm with Andrew Brown, then an attorney for Monroe County in 1995. “My daughter was only four at the time, so I knew was now or never,’” she says. “I thought, ‘When you’re four, everything is an adventure – she would think hot dogs and bologna every day is fun!” And with that, Brown & Hutchinson opened for business. A small firm of only nine attorneys and five support staff, Hutchinson feels blessed to still be practicing after almost twenty years. Continued success is not always easy, though – especially when you’re both a practicing lawyer and a business owner. But what inspires Hutchinson to keep going is what led her to law in the first place: “I’m a really compassionate person,” she says. “What I find most rewarding about law is the opportunity to help people.” She feels a personal responsibility to her employees, just as she does to her clients: “You have those fourteen employees and their families depending on Brown & Hutchinson – we have to sustain and feed a business that sustains and feeds other people.” Hutchinson also draws inspiration from her parents, who met shortly after WWII in Germany, married, and then moved to the United States before she was born. “For them to come back here with everything that was going on with race in this country at that time, and to stay together – I can’t imagine how difficult it was for them,” she says. “Their strength, determination and fortitude – that’s what inspires me.” Although race relations have improved since Hutchinson’s childhood, being a female African –American lawyer has been challenging. “It’s like a double whammy – and it’s challenging to know which whammy is causing the issue for some people,” she says. “When I moved back to Rochester and we started the (continued on page 52

rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

inspire :rw

“I take a lot of pride in the food. Even though we are a small place, we have a big menu.” Kristina Dinino-Jeffords owner of ‘The Mad Hatter Tea Room and Café and The Nanny Store”

By Ashley Cooper | Photo by stephen reardon

“It’s always a good sign when the cook eats her own food,” laughs Kristina Dinino-Jeffords as she sets down a tantalizing bowl of, what appears to be, a considerable upgrade from broccoli and cheese soup. Rest assure, as a prior customer of said cook, I had no trepidation regarding the quality of her dishes. It is a Monday afternoon, and the Mad Hatter Tea Room and Café is closed, but its owner (Dinino-Jeffords) never stops working. Aside from running her blossoming east side restaurant, Dinino-Jeffords is also owner of The Nanny Store, which, at present, is the sole nanny recruiting agency in Rochester. In spite of her demanding schedule, Dinino-Jeffords wouldn’t have life any other way, as the mother of one is finally realizing her longstanding dreams and doing what she does best: bringing happiness to others, whether by resurrecting delectable family recipes or by providing quality childcare to families in need. “I definitely have found my ‘happy place,’ I guess you could say,” she shares. “Because my two biggest interests are so different, I feel like I am able to satisfy both needs.” After graduating from Fairport High School, Dinino-Jeffords was left with no direction, but several unwavering passions. She moved to Tampa, Florida, where she attended community college for two years before transferring to St. John Fisher College closer to home. A self-proclaimed “people person,” Dinino-Jeffords pursued a degree in Communications with a minor in Business Management. In her post-collegiate years, Dinino-Jeffords explored a variety of career options. She managed three area Uno Chicago Bar and Grill chains, as well as the banquet service for Hyatt Regency Rochester. For a spell, she even worked at Paetec. However, Dinino-Jeffords’ rich heritage seemed to incessantly point to food. In fact, she traced her family history to discover that maternal relatives owned and operated a Jay Street bakery sometime in the 1940’s. “I grew up in an Italian household where we were cooking as soon as we were walking,” she says. “It just seemed to be in my blood.” After a successful stint opening a small, independent baking service called, “Cuchina Dulce,” Dinino-Jeffords sought to expand into a fully-operational tea house that additionally serves gourmet breakfasts and lunches, showcasing her family’s recipes. In March 2013, Dinino-Jeffords launched the soft opening for the quaint and inviting tea room and cafe we know today as, “The Mad Hatter” in the Village of Webster. The title is derived from a favorite childhood memory of Dinino-Jeffords’s, who recalls precious times at a Nantucket restaurant by the same name. The ambiance exudes the essence of Dinino-Jeffords’s mother, for whom she has accredited the success of the restaurant. “I have a lot of things from her in my restaurant,” shares DininoJeffords, in part, referring to the sets of elegant china on display in (continued on page 52)

inspire

::rw

“I couldn’t find a company that focused on implementation, so I had to create it,” ” Liz Brenna

Founder & CEO of Socially Good Business By Hayley Strauss | Photo by Stephen Reardon

“Every chapter of your journey forms the next part of it.” Liz Brenna, Founder and CEO of Socially Good Business believes it’s her unique past that gave her the knowledge to operate a social enterprise. What is Socially Good Business? Brenna describes it as “a partner that works with companies to make them [systemically] socially and environmentally responsible, that’s needed to gain consumer trust.” Brenna got her first taste of the sustainable business world during her five years at Ben & Jerry’s headquarters in Vermont. Serving as a vital part of their brand reputation team focusing on social and environmental issues, Brenna felt at home with her work. As part of just a two-person team, Brenna lived and breathed a successful model that Ben & Jerry’s pioneered. After making the move back to her Rochester home, Brenna couldn’t find a company she strongly identified with. “I couldn’t find a company that focused on implementation, so I had to create it,” shares Brenna. “Looking ahead to the end of my life, I knew, looking back, I would regret not trying to create the company of my dreams.” As the first certified B Corporation in Rochester, it’s safe to say Brenna’s leap paid off. B Corps, or benefit corporations, are companies that strive to create a better world through social and environmental efforts. Companies that receive certification must meet a multitude of social and environmental performance levels, and demonstrate accountability and transparency standards. “I want to put Rochester on the map as a trend-setter,” Brenna says. “I want to educate the Rochester community about the next generation of business, and how being a socially and environmentally conscious company is actually the best and most profitable strategy a brand can have these days.” Recognizing that companies need to be self-sufficient and be able to provide for themselves, but still have a beneficial goal in mind—these remain important to Brenna. Since starting SGB in September 2011, Brenna says they’ve done a lot of research to figure out what works and what doesn’t. “Research is the most important part.” Finding that consistency seems to be the key; “when you’re consistently doing ‘good’ within your company, consumers come to trust your brand and are loyal.” Building a brand image is part of the extensive education SGB offers to its partners. “We work with a lot of forward thinking companies, and in order to rise above the noise you must walk the talk and implement the correct framework.” Making eco-friendly claims is not enough in this world, and Brenna, along with the SGB team, strives to implement this mindset into the companies with whom they maintain relationships. “We look for companies that want to differentiate themselves, and who understand that they need to operate this way in order to compete,” Brenna says. (continued on page 52)

rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

Michelle Hutchinson

Kristina Dinino-Jeffords Liz Brenna (cont)

(cont)

firm, there would be instances where I would go to a law office for an appointment and would be asked if I was the paralegal or the secretary.”

the tea room front, but also used for high tea. “[The restaurant] is definitely dedicated 110% to her.” Sadly, Dinino-Jeffords’s mother suffers from a rare disease called, “frontal lobe dementia” which has left her virtually incapacitated. “I wanted to bring [my mother] in here,” says Dinino-Jeffords. “I could tell by her facial expression that she was very happy.”

Outside of the office, Brenna enjoys exploring what Rochester has to offer. Coming back, she wasn’t sure if she would like Rochester as an adult, having grown up here, but she soon found appreciation for all that the city has to offer. “It’s the perfect mix of different pockets of culture,” says Brenna. “It’s big enough so you don’t get bored, but small enough so everything is accessible.”

The interior of the cozy, 30-seat venue is filled with whimsical “Alice in Wonderland” paraphernalia, and the predominant color scheme is a soft and subtle pink, reminiscent of Dinino-Jeffords’s childhood, shabby-chic home.

With a passion for volunteering, Brenna has dedicated several days of the year to giving back to area organizations. An avid lover of food, wine, live music, comedy, and movies—Rochester suits Brenna well.

“I take a lot of pride in the food. Even though we are a small place, we have a big menu,” says Dinino-Jeffords. “I want to please everybody and make sure that there is something for every taste bud.”

In both her life and her work Brenna says, “I lead as socially and environmentally conscious a life as much as possible.”

::rw

inspire

(cont)

A traditionally white and male-dominated profession, Hutchinson feels that while noble, “there’s still that desperation to hold onto that ‘old boys’ club’ feeling.” However, she reminds young women of color not to be dissuaded. “Don’t take no for an answer – you’re just as enabled and as entitled as anyone else,” she says. “Don’t let anyone talk you out of doing what you want to do.” Not that she thinks law is for the faint of heart: “But you have to be willing to make sacrifices – this is a ‘whatever it takes’ kind of profession.” At the end of the day, Hutchinson, who was also ordained as a minister at New Life Fellowship Church in 2010, knows that ‘whatever it takes’ is worth it – as long as it’s inspiring others. “There’s nothing special about me,” she says. “That’s the most important lesson for our children to learn – especially African-American children. They don’t have to be ‘the exception’ in order to do something great.” Her mission: “It’s all about giving people hope – that gives me joy.”

For example, breakfast customers with a sweet tooth will find fulfillment in Dinino-Jeffords’s cinnamon glazed pancakes, made from scratch. However, those with a hankering for something spicy in the morning would opt for “The Hatter’s Benedict,”-a homemade Hollandaise sauce with a kick atop a cheddar cheese biscuit.

It’s impossible to leave no impact, but Brenna prides herself on finding alternatives for everything. “If I can find an alternative product or service that’s authentically operating responsibly, it’s exciting and they immediately have my support.”

a variety of loose-leaf tea from Webster-based, “Tea-Licious Trends.” Be sure to “like” “The Mad Hatter Tea Room and Café” on Facebook to find a complete

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Rochester Woman Magazine

events

On Thursday, March 6th, over 150 people gathered at the home of Gail Riggs to celebrate the launch of our March issue and also the launch of the new Mrs. Ballington Booth bag to benefit VOA. The Mrs. Ballington Booth bag is the newest edition to Mrs. Riggs “Purse With a Purpose” line of handbags to benefit local charities. The attendees at this event enjoy food from Perlo’s Restaurant and Furoshiki Kitchen. Along with wine sampling from Agness Wine Cellars. Live music was performed by Amanda Ashley, Lisa Canarvis and Amanda Peers.

April 2014 EVENTS CALENDAR

Heart Walk

12 A Taste of the Finger Lakes

13 6th Annual Summit on Child Abuse

22-23 Springtime in Canandaigua

25-27 Autism Awareness Walk

april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

Organization: American Heart Association Time: 8:00 am Where: Blue Cross Arena Website: www.rochesterheartwalk.org Organization: Victor-Farmington Rotary Time: 1:00pm-4:00pm Price: $30-$35 Where: Ravenwood Country Club Website: www.victorfarmingtonrotary.org Organization: Bivona Child Advocacy Center Time: 8:30am04:30pm Price: $80-$160 Where: Rochester Riverside Convention Center Website: www.bivonaCAC.org Organization: The Thompson Guild Time: Various Where: The Canandaigua Civic Center Website: www.springtimeincanandaigua.com Organization: Happiness House/Finger Lakes United Cerebral Palsy Association Time: 8:00 am Where: Eastview Mall Website: www.happinesshouse.org

rochesterWomanMag.com :: april 2014

By Ashley Cooper | Photo by John Lee

“Helping women be whole emotionally, spiritually and socially: those are the three principles,” says Healing Springs President Marla Wall of the not-for-profit organization she founded in 2012.

::for a good

cause

Whole

Helping Women Become

‘The Springs,’ as Wall refers to them, the many facets of her ministry, is the result of a longstanding passion she was graced with at an early age. Said passion rests in “seeing other people release the thing they’re struggling with so that they can move forward with joy,” according to Wall. Wall recalls having an affinity for counseling as early as elementary school. “My friends would come to me with their concerns,” she laughs. “Children have concerns too!” As she progressed into adulthood, so did her gift for consoling weary souls. Wall noticed that even strangers would divulge their innermost burdens in her presence. “There has always been something within me that draws people to feel comfortable enough to share what they’re going through,” states Wall. However, the road to living her dream has been a far cry from smooth-sailing. Shortly after graduating from Webster High School, Wall found herself a single mother, struggling to support her two daughters on social services. Though Wall aspired to study psychology in college, her mother advised her to pursue a practical degree that would affirmatively lead to a steady income. In the midst of her affliction, Wall somehow manage to obtain an associate’s degree in accounting. “It was difficult,” remembers Wall. “I was ready for my life to change, though. I think when you’re ready, you will do what’s necessary to get the job done.” Wall worked at the University of Rochester for fifteen years before coming to New Life Ministries in 2009 to serve as executive assistant to several pastorates on staff. With the support of many, including current husband Scotty Wall, Marla finally sought to see her vision realized, and thus, Healing Springs, Inc. came to fruition. Healing Springs is open to all women, regardless of social class, age, or social/emotional need. “It’s for those who are distraught, who are just in need of a refreshing…there’s really a spectrum. It’s just for women, period!” explains Wall. At present, there are three chief components to Healing Springs, according to Wall. The first component is the quarterly breakfast seminars and regularly offered workshops designed to refresh and rejuvenate women on their “journey to the place of wholeness” and empower them to “pursue their passion with joy.” The next seminar, entitled: “Women’s Issues: Let’s Talk About It!” will take place Saturday, April 12 at the Radisson Rochester Airport Hotel. The event features multiple guest panelists as well as highly-revered facilitators and will cost $25. Wall is both enthused and humbled by the overwhelmingly positive response from those who attend the quarterly seminars. It’s truly amazing, the reach and the scope,” says Wall. “I’m getting really great feedback. One email I read said, ‘I came to the Springs and drank deeply. Mission accomplished.’ To hear that it’s making a difference is the most rewarding thing for me.” The second major aspect of Healing Springs is “Fresh Water Gatherings” which are free of charge and occur the first Monday of every month at the Center for Community Health in Rochester. Fresh Water Gatherings are intentionally small group settings designed to prompt women to feel more comfortable sharing, establishing relationships with one another and thereby healing. Lastly, Healing Springs has recently partnered with the Rochester City School District Peer University to appeal to parents’ personal support and professional development. This is done through the implementation of workshops, which, as Wall mentions, are open to men as well as women. “There’s so many responsibilities that a parent has that it’s sometimes difficult to manage [one’s] own emotions as well as manage the emotions of [one’s] child,” shares Wall. “I think it’s integral to get to the parent, to give them an opportunity to deal with their issues and to have a place where they can be refreshed, and in turn, teach their children to be more successful in their academic lives.” Wall credits the success of Healing Springs to her supporters, such as Dr. Cynthia McGill, Min. Gladys Alston and Min. Gilda Goings, to her remarkable team of facilitators, and to her husband, who also serves as the chief operating officer of the organization.

april 2014 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

“He keeps me grounded,” says Wall of her spouse. “He is also my creative partner who helps me to focus. The team I have around me is a great support and I’m thankful for them embracing the vision and for walking with me on this journey.” Wall invites anyone in need of a spiritual, emotional, or social refresher to join the community established at Healing Springs, Inc.

From Our Hearts To Yours. Introducing the HeartMatters Cardiac Rehab Program.

St. Ann’s Community is proud to introduce HeartMatters, a new evidence based program that was developed in collaboration with Cardiologists and Cardiothoracic surgeons including Rochester General Hospital Chief of Cardiology, Gerald Gacioch, M.D. and St. Ann’s Chief Medical Officer, Diane Kane, M.D. HeartMatters provides the region’s best program for patients with cardiac conditions such as heart failure, myocardial infarction and post cardiac surgery (i.e., CABG, valve replacement). We recognize the uniqueness of each individual and will work with you to develop a plan of care that will improve your quality of life and reduce the likelihood of readmission back to the hospital. You and your family will receive the knowledge necessary to better manage your condition after returning home.

For more information or to learn how to preplan a rehab stay, please call 585-697-6311 or visit stannscommunity.com. The HeartMatters cardiac rehab program is available at: St. Ann’s Community, Irondequoit and St. Ann’s Care Center, Cherry Ridge Campus in Webster.

Caring forThe Most Important People on Earth

HeartMatters Cardiac Medical Director, Gerald Gacioch, M.D. and St. Ann’s Chief Medical Officer, Diane Kane, M.D.

Supported by a grant from Greater Rochester Health Foundation

reads & writes

Until one Day

::RW

RWM is always happy to promote and support local authors. Below is an excerpt from a recently published nove “ Until One Day” by local author Charlotte Symonds

By Charlotte Symonds

December 24, 2011 SYDNEY The blaring of the alarm clock awakened Sydney with a start. As she rolled over to turn it off, she wondered how it was possible she had forgotten to reset it. After all, being Christmas Eve morning there wasn’t a need to be up at 7 a.m. It was then she noticed the empty stem glass sitting on her nightstand reminding her of the wine she had consumed the night before. Her dry mouth confirmed that she had a bit too much to drink. Her recent routine of the last month had become a ritual. After dinner, but most often without, she would indulge in a few glasses of wine before bedtime. They helped to quiet the memories which refused to stay out of the forefront of her thoughts while she attempted to find respite from her anguish through sleep. She wished she could just roll over and fall back to sleep. However, it was evident to Sydney that wasn’t an option; as it was a struggle enough each night to fall asleep the first time. Once awakened, Sydney was thrust back into the reality of being alone. She touched the unused pillow beside her and felt an ache in her heart. Her hand caressed the soft red Egyptian cotton pillow case which covered it. Sydney recalled purchasing the sheets in celebration after an important win in court. The advertisement for the bedding promised a sleep of opulent comfort that would lull its user to sleep. That was of course total nonsense. What lulled her to sleep was being held closely by Brent, not the softness of a thread count. Sydney’s first instinct was to crawl under the covers and stay hidden until the whole holiday season was over. But, she believed somewhere down deep inside herself, she possessed enough strength to get through this dreadfully cheery time of year. She grabbed the curtain remote control from the nightstand and pushed the button to open the blackout shades. While they raised, allowing the blinding light to enter her room, Sydney irritably murmured, “Shit, another sunny day.” Looking up to the

heavens she sighed, “Would it be too much to ask for just one rainy, miserable day, something more suited to my mood?” Sydney held Brent’s pillow close to her chest and surprisingly happy memories swirled through her mind. She stayed in bed a few minutes longer to savor them, as fond memories of Brent were becoming fewer and far between. As the recollections faded, Sydney realized the bed which once had given her such pleasure had become a recent enemy reminding her of her defeat. While putting on her slippers she tried to convince herself she could get through this day. “One day at a time. One day at a time. Just get through one day at a time, and each day it will become easier”, she assertively repeated to herself. It had become her daily mantra. Sydney walked over to the bay window with its built in bench. She sat down on its soft black satin seat cushion and tucked her knees close to her chest. She sat there staring out at the Brooklyn Bridge while trying to make sense of it all. When she and Brent had first looked at this house, the feature which sold her on it was its spectacular view of the bridge. She would often sit on the bench of the bay window leaning against its red throw- pillows, with her laptop on her thighs, working for hours on briefs and contracts that she would bring home from the office. She wondered if perhaps her workload was one of the reasons her husband strayed. Was it because she had put too many hours into her work? She dismissed the idea as Brent spent more hours at work than Sydney had. Although, she wondered now if possibly those hours were not spent at work but rather at his lover’s apartment. She found it hard to believe, how a woman of her intelligence could have been so naive. It was apparent now that she should have taken her friends advice and had not blindly trusted Brent. But they exchanged vows in a church in front of God, their friends and family; how could she not have trusted him? Until One Day is currently available through Amazon.com

part 5 ::resolve:

This is the fifth in a recurring series of articles dealing with domestic violence

Sexual Assault: Consent & Victim-blaming

By: Alli O’Malley

By far, the best part of my job is spending time talking with young adults about creating healthy relationships and exploring why so many dating relationships are anything but healthy. While dating and domestic violence are my primary areas of expertise, whenever I am on college campuses, it is naïve to operate under the assumption that all students are looking for relationships. Many young people, women and men alike, are choosing to “hook-up” (aka sex with no strings attached) instead of investing in relationships. This behavior has become normative and doesn’t carry the stigmas it once did. However, hook-up culture is not nirvana and when one person thinks a hook-up is assured and the other person hasn’t committed, we enter the blurry world of consent. “No means no” vs. An “enthusiastic yes” April is sexual violence awareness month. With high profile sexual assault cases on college campuses in the media almost every week, consent is a hot topic and confusion abounds. Simply, consent is a person’s inalienable right to decide what they are willing to do, sexually or otherwise, with whom and when. Often, men and women communicate consent differently. While both genders agree that consent is easier to navigate when both parties are sober, they also agree that alcohol or drugs blur decision making. Consent, by its very nature, requires communication. Sometimes young people think that getting consent will ruin the mood; that it’s a “buzz kill”. Yet, research with college students indicates that most enjoy sex more when consent is sought and given. In the past, the mantra for consent was “no means no”. Today, the mantra is, “get an enthusiastic, yes.” What’s the difference? Over time we have learned from crisis counselors just how often the absence of “no” or any verbal response, has resulted in sexual assault or rape. The

absence of a verbal “no,” was presumed to mean “yes;” while it actually meant “no”, “stop”, “don’t” or even “I’m scared.” By supporting young people to communicate and seek an “enthusiastic yes”, we remove the guessing and we create safer relationships, even if the duration of that relationship is only one evening. You might think all of this is crazy, that if a girl doesn’t want to do something, she can just stop or resist. However, it isn’t that simple. Truly the best way to help young people to be safe is to promote mutual consent, in other words, an “enthusiastic yes.” Let’s look at a common scenario. If a woman and man are flirting at a party, does it mean she has given consent to have sex with him? To those observing them, it may appear that she has, but only the two people involved can negotiate what is going to happen next. If the couple has been drinking during their flirtation, is either party able to give consent? Maybe, if they are not intoxicated. If he’s not drunk and she is, and she gives consent, can they have sex? By law, the answer is no. If he or she gave consent before they were drunk, can they have sex? No, as soon as one became intoxicated the law says consent is no longer valid. If both parties are drunk and wake up the next day in a compromising position and neither recalls giving consent, did sexual assault occur? Possibly. When both parties are intoxicated, neither is considered legally able to give consent. See how easily the lines become blurred? And finally, if neither party is drunk and she agrees to sex with him, then realizes she’s in over her head and says “stop”, does he have to stop? Yes! If he doesn’t, it’s sexual assault. If he assaults her, under these circumstances is she responsible? No. He is. And that’s where it is trickiest for most people. If she consented to sex with him then changed her mind, it is easy to blame her. To say, “she was asking for it.” But to accuse her is “slut-shaming” or “victim-blaming” and it deflects responsibility from the perpetrator.

Victim-blaming and Slut-shaming A few weeks ago, a male colleague and I facilitated a lively and active discussion at a local university about the prevalence and consequences of dating violence. As we were wrapping up, a female student who had actively participated, said, “So, this relationship information is great, but what are you supposed to do when a girl cries rape… when you saw her leave with the guy and you know she’s lying?” In the realm of sexual assault and rape, victim-blaming and slut-shaming rule the day. Sentiments like, “she was all over him at the party, what else did she think was going to happen?” or “did you see the way she was dressed?” deflect all responsibility from the man and place blame squarely on the woman, the victim. Women are conditioned from childhood to protect ourselves “or else”. We’re told that we are responsible for our safety and that if we follow the rules, we have better odds of being safe with men. And women bought this logic; in fact, we now own it and propagate it. Women have passed this information down through generations and in doing so, we’ve given men a pass. We’ve accepted responsibility for our safety with men and conceded that men, as a group, are incapable of controlling their sexual urges; so if we tempt them, we must accept the consequences. I can no longer subscribe to this logic and I ask you to re-think it too. According to research, victim-blaming and slut-shaming stem from our innate human desire to see our world as fair; to believe that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to those who deserve it. And on the spectrum of bad things, rape and sexual assault are just about as bad as bad gets. It is simply too hard for most people

to conceptualize sexual violation, so by finding fault in the victim’s behavior, we can see the crime as a psychic punishment for pushing the boundaries of cultural norms. Most of us don’t realize the unintended consequences of blaming victims for their experience. Sexual assault victims will most often disclose to a friend, looking for support. If she’s met with blame or shame, most of the time she will tell nobody else and fail to get the help she needs medically, emotionally or legally. It is estimated that 90% of sexual assaults on college campuses go unreported to authorities. This reality creates long term health and emotional consequences for the victim that can include depression, anxiety, mental health crises, digestive problems, migraines, fibromyalgia and other long term health issues, not to mention addiction and even suicide. While it is time to invite men to be part of the solution to ending sexual and dating violence, it is equally important that women stand together on these issues. If a friend or family member comes to you, she does not need to be judged. She needs to be helped. Put yourself in her shoes and respond with compassion. Your response could save her life.

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