OFF TO THE UNKNOWN

from Rochester Women Magazine March/April 2020 issue

by Rochester Women Magazine

KEEPING THE BEAT The legacy of

UNKNOWN Off to the

AN IMMIGRATION STORY

BY YUSRA HASSAN

SUDAN WAS ALL MY PARENTS KNEW. They grew up and went to school there, and their families lived there. After they got married, they knew they would start a family. Sudan lacked good health care, and education was expensive. Life wasn’t the safest for children. Everyone always said that America was “the land where dreams come true” and “the life like in the movies.” My parents wanted the best for their future children, so they decided to see for themselves what America was all about.

My mom describes leaving Sudan as a “decision based solely on hope.” My parents thought it would be selfish to stay in Sudan just because it benefited them, so they decided to take the chance and head off to the unknown.

THE REALIZATION In 2000, my parents and my aunt came to Rochester, Minnesota through a travel visa. They later applied for asylum so they could stay in the United States. My dad chose to come to Rochester because he had an aunt here and didn’t want to be in a new country completely alone. Minnesota is known for its easily accessible health benefits, such as Medicare, Medicaid and food stamps, which my parents knew would help support them and their future children. My mom was pregnant with my older sister, so she was lucky enough to get medical insurance right away. My family knew little about Minnesota and only just enough English to get by, but they decided they had to adapt and get used to this new way of life.

THE PROCESS My parents went to university and got degrees in Sudan, but their degrees didn’t have the same value in America, which meant that my parents didn’t have the same opportunities. It was completely unfair; my parents had taken the same classes and worked just as hard, but America doesn’t always recognize foreign degrees as equal to their worth. My parents had to give up on their dream of getting jobs they studied so hard for in university, just so their children could have better opportunities here. And even once they were here, they needed to wait until their case was approved to be able to apply for authorization to work in America. During the five-year period before my parents got their green cards, my dad’s father passed away. Since they didn’t have green cards, if they left the United States, they wouldn’t be allowed to come back. My dad had to apply for travel documents and be approved just to go to his own father’s funeral, and he didn’t even get back to Sudan until six weeks after my grandfather's death. He missed his father’s funeral, burial and goodbyes just waiting for documents to be able to come back to America. My dad describes this as “a feeling of being trapped in a country that is supposed to be full of opportunity and freedom.”

The green card process includes seemingly endless paperwork, fingerprinting and interviews, but my parents finally received theirs in 2005 and then became citizens in 2010. The naturalization process is only getting more difficult, and the many immigrants seeking refuge in the “land of the free” are struggling just to be able to live in a safe country. My parents left home at a time when things weren’t the best in Sudan, but for those escaping war or countries they can no longer find shelter in, this process must be a nightmare.

BETWEEN TWO COUNTRIES Not growing up in the country I am from is hard. It’s difficult to learn my native culture and language when we can only visit Sudan once every few years. Being connected to my roots is extremely important to me, and it’s hard not being able to physically be in the place where I’m from. My mom says one of the hardest struggles of moving here is having to teach us the culture and religion. Sudan is a Muslim country where everyone speaks the same language, and our entire culture is there. My mom wants us to know where we are from and to be proud of it, but it is definitely not an easy thing to do.

It’s hard living in a predominantly white country and attending a predominantly white school. I am technically American—I have an American passport and all the privileges, but deep inside of me, I don’t truly feel American. I feel as though there is a part of me that will never be understood by American people. I feel too American for people in Sudan because I’ve been in America all my life, but too Sudanese for American people because I’m not white and I speak another language and follow different traditions.

In recent years, Sudan has been going through wars and revolutions, and many people are struggling. Many children in Sudan don’t go to school because it is too expensive. It is my dream to one day be able to give back to the people of Sudan who don’t have the privilege to live in America and receive a better education in a safe environment. I hope the process for immigrants becomes easier and America owns up to its "land of opportunity" and "freedom and justice for all" mottos, especially for those who need it most. One day, I want to repay my parents, who risked it all unselfishly and sacrificed so much so they could provide a better life for my siblings and me. ◆

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WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE DIVERSITY INCLUSION vs .

BY EVA CRUZ PEÑA

ACCORDING TO SOCIAL JUSTICE FACILITATOR MEG BOLGER, DIVERSITY IS THE PRESENCE OF DIFFERENCES IN A GIVEN SETTING, AND DIVERSITY EXISTS IN RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS. These differences often fall into social categories such as race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, nationality and citizenship, veteran and parental status, body size, ability, age and experience. Diversity is experienced via the five senses and pertains to the quantity of differences.

Inclusion, on the other hand, is about different identities feeling valued, welcomed and able to participate fully within a given setting. Inclusion is experienced with feelings, and it pertains to the quality of experiencing being different.

Vernā Myers, inclusion strategist and cultural change catalyst, explains that diversity is “being asked ‘to the dance’” whereas inclusion is “being asked ‘to dance.’”

The distinction matters because diversity does not equal inclusion. Spaces might look diverse (presence of difference), but they might not be inclusive (make people feel valued and welcomed). Just because someone is present in a setting does not mean the person feels invited to share in the experience as a valued equal.

FROM MESS TO MESSAGE In March 2018, my daughters and I experienced a traumatic event secondary to an act of discrimination and racial profiling. As we processed the experience, my goal was to heal the trauma and transmute the pain. I sought to find the message in the mess because I knew the wisdom arising from it would be powerful enough to create positive change in the world. For months, I intentionally looked for clues that would point me toward that message. It wasn’t until October of that year that the message revealed itself.

I was in a call with my coach when she asked me a question: “What social change would you like to see in the world?” In that moment, and without hesitating, I shared how I longed to see black, brown, Indigenous women of color (BBIWOC) represented and included in the entrepreneurial space.

Ever since I moved from Puerto Rico to the U.S., I experienced the lack of representation of BBIWOC in almost every space I was part of. From work to academia to religious institutions, the presence of these women was missing. Over and over, I found myself being one of few, if not the only woman of color in these spaces. The feeling of being invisible— of not belonging—was excruciating. This aching pain, now woven into the tapestry of my story, begged me to speak up and bring awareness to this issue.

For years, I used my voice to advocate for myself and the women I represented. But 18 years later, I felt my soul was requiring me to use not only my voice, but my gifts of leading, teaching, guiding, creating safe spaces for people to heal and grow and embodying loving kindness to usher in a new paradigm to reflect the beautiful diversity of the world we live in.

That day, when my coach asked me the question, I knew the message in the mess was to lead a movement that sought to heal, reconcile and create spaces for the missing voices to be heard, seen and known. And I knew I was being called to do so the only way my soul knows how to go about the hard things—with love, truth and compassion.

BACK TO BASICS As I began to envision how to create spaces for the missing voices, I realized that not only was there little awareness of the absence of representation, there was a lack of understanding of what the terms “diversity,” “inclusion” and “equality” meant. In order to bring awareness to both the issue and

the importance of understanding the terms, I created a masterclass.

Sacred Inclusion was born out of the desire to guide a conversation, grounded in love and compassion, that addressed the evident need for inclusion and representation of BBIWOC in the entrepreneurial space. It also sought to bring about understanding of diversity and inclusion and why it matters that the difference between these terms is understood.

AWARENESS, WILLINGNESS, COMMITMENT AND PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY Awareness is the first step in the conversation about inclusion and diversity. Once it’s raised and there’s an understanding of the terms and their significance, the women in Sacred Inclusion are presented with three concepts and a challenge: • Willingness—The quality or state of being prepared to do something. “Are you willing to do something about the lack of representation and inclusion of BBIWOC in your circles?” • Commitment—Giving your time and effort to something you believe in. “Are you committed

Cruz Peña teaches her Sacred Inclusion class online.

to giving your time, energy and resources to ensure your circles are diverse and inclusive?” • Personal responsibility—The understanding that you choose your actions, therefore you’re responsible to own and work through the consequences. “Are you taking responsibility for your commitment in bridging the gap that keeps BBIWOC from being invited in, valued and leveraged in your circles?” The women have a safe space to reflect on these questions and to ask their own. Then they have the choice to continue doing the work and joining me in creating a new paradigm for all.

A SEAT FOR ALL Creating this new paradigm—one that is beautifully diverse like the world we live in— comes at a cost. Those who are intentional about ensuring their circles are comprised of diverse people who feel valued and welcomed understand that it will cost time, energy and money. They’re here for it, attentive and invested in creating a better equitable future. They’re the ones inviting people to the dance, inviting people to dance and ensuring everyone has access and a seat on the party planning committee. ◆

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