A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR Oh boy!
That’s not to bad in our book.
What a wonderful month it’s been!
Still, that doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s a giant dick The problem I have with AJ Maddah is more to do with the fact that he is about as supportive of Australian music as Tony Abbott is of people on boats.
We’ve had the fall out from the Big Day Out, the usual bullshit in the lead up to Soundwave and a whole heap of fuss being made about the imminent death of the Australian Music Industry. What a load of bullshit. Now, since we are in the “media” (That’s a really loose description. If we’re the media... Well, the creationists are right) we’re in direct competition with a couple of other folks. Sure, we’re pretty poor competition but still we’re rocking up every fortnight and strapping on the boots. Now the things that bothers us most about the “competition” is that they have all seemed to have gone to the A Current Affair/ Facebook School of Journalism. Let me just clear a few things up so there is no confusion out there. The Big Day Out was always going to be a flop this year. Sometimes things just get old and need to die. Let’s not get too sentimental. The writing has been on the wall for a fair while now. How about we just let it die with the dignity it deserves?
Should I get more into that in a rant? I think I might... And onto the imminent death of the Australian Music Industry.... A couple of venues get put up for sale? Oh, fuck me the sky is falling! Look, businesses get sold and bought everyday. It’s just the way things work. There’s this little thing called supply and demand. It’s a pretty novel concept. Let’s say there’s a whole heap of people out there that want to go and watch live music! Are we all there? Right. Well, usually there will be some motherfucker that goes “OK People want to watch bands. 1+1=2. I’m going to make me some money!” See how that works? Amazing isn’t it. Music isn’t going anywhere. If the scene gets smaller well that’s just life.
Now, how about good old Soundwave! Well, we’re going to be kind to old AJ “Prove Me Wrong And I Get” Maddah. Sure, having one of the main headlines pull out is a bit of a pain in the arse but for the amount of bands that are playing Soundwave only 7 have cancelled?
Who cares? Do you listen to it because you love it or you like the t-shirts? Rock & Roll motherfuckers! Absolutely no regards....
EDITOR/Coolamon Central School Captain 2002/Cripple
In this issue of
Rock & Roll Magazine is published by:
Pg 10
Dead City Ruins Pg 14
Cuntz Pg 18
The Smith Street Band Pg 24
Steve Lucas Pg 28
Harmony
Rock & Roll Magazine Pty Ltd PO BOX 5034 Burnley VIC 3121
Editor: Shane Hilton Associate Editor: Leanne Farrell Office Bitch: Strawb G Hetti Contributors: Pudgey , Strawb, Lefty, Shane!
“Thank You, Thank You, All Square Now?”: Minnie “the Myna” Bird (make me dinner!), Roger & Georgia Murphy , Boxer, Meeshy the Office Cat (I hate your pet pigeion Pete), the KKKitchen Crew , Toothless Jack, Taylor & Bogan Robot Lighting, the Morrows , Eddie & Gav @Game Deficiency, all the bands that agreed to be interviewed, the Farrell family, all the people who make us coffee, MeetWagon (MEAT), Digger , ,Sandra/MadDog Extra Special Thanks
Nerves, Backs and Pain (Fuck You) Pain Killers (You don’t work you fucks!)
There are 10 pages missing... I don’t know where they are but when we find them we will put them back... (See professional!)
FRONT OF HOUSE NEWS & ABUSE
PROPAGANDHI Cleaners of the pubs of Australia unite!
No, we’re only joking!
A small Canadian band who likes complaining about the United State of America and rallying against commercial greed & capitalism have decided to once again grace the shores of Australia in order to make a little cash...
Wi dig the Propagandhi folk.... They’re good people!
That’s right motherfuckers it’s Propagandhi! Ha!
A bit stupid but nice sorts of folks! Propagandhi will finally be out here as an afterthought to their tour for 2012 Failed States! Ticket’s available through www.bluemurder.com.au
GANG OF FOUR POSTPONE AUSTRALIAN TOUR Well, this sucks! “Gang Of Four’s forthcoming Australian tour dates have been curtailed by some unforeseen family circumstances of a serious & personal nature. The decision has certainly not been taken lightly & we very much regret that we have to postpone the March tour. All tickets will be fully refunded & further tour dates
will be rescheduled & announced soon. Apologies to all who have purchased tickets & all the inconvenience caused & a huge, huge thank you to everyone for their continued support” Gang Of Four
We think you go to point of purchase for the old refund! I bet Dave Mustaine had something to do with it....
FRONT OF HOUSE NEWS & ABUSE
GOLDEN PLAINS Are you heading down to Golden Plains? You are! Well, here's what's going to be happening. Not a bad little day. Our picks would be King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard (our odds on favourite for the
If you’re there you might as well watch fucking everything. As long as you’re not trashed to the fucking shithouse... But hey the Cosmic Psychos... What a wonderful afternoon that will be!
Golden Boot), SixFtHick (playing straight
If you don’t have a ticket don’t forget that
after the opening ceremony so they can get
you can get on Aunty’s Golden Waitlist!
there drink on), Yo La Tengo, the Drones, You Am I and... hold on a second!
Odds are you’re shit out of luck though!
Saturday, March 8
Sunday, March 9
1:55 – 2:00: Opening Ceremony 2:00 – 2:40: SixFtHick 3:00 – 3:40: Andras Fox featuring Oscar Key Sung 4:00 – 4:40: Gold Panda 5:05 – 5:45: Adalita 6:05 – 6:45: King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard 7:05 – 7:45: Chet Faker 8:15 – 9:05: Yo La Tengo 9:30 – 10:20: The Drones 10:50 – 11:50: Charles Bradley and His Extraordinaires 12:20 – 1:45: Flying Lotus 2:00 – 3:00: JPS (The Operatives) 3:00 – 4:30: DJ Jnett 4:30 – 6:00: Spacey Space 6:00 – 10:00: Silence is Golden
10:00 – 10:40: The Orbweavers 10:50 – 11:30: Archer 11:35 – 11:50: Keynote Speaker – Michael Leunig 12:10 – 12:50: Hiatus Kaiyote 1:10 – 1:50: The Perch Creek Family Jugband 2:10 – 2:50: Los Coronas 3:10 – 3:50: Cosmic Psychos 4:10 – 4:50: Seekae 5:15 – 6:00: Osaka Monaurail 6:30 – 7:20: Neko Case 7:45 – 8:40: You Am I 9:10 – 10:25: Fat Freddy’s Drop 11:00 – 12:10: Public Enemy 12:40 – 1:40: Cut/Copy 2:00 – 3:30: Mark Pritchard 3:30 – 5:00: Tornado Wallace
FRONT OF HOUSE NEWS & ABUSE
And I’ll be fucking buying it! Bitches be selling my ass!
ROCK & ROLL REAL ESTATE Ever wanted to know how much it sucks to own a live music venue? Got some of your parents spare cash just lying around screaming at you to spend it? Why not buy the Espy? Or if St Kildas not your thing... Yah Yahs? The two Melbourne businesses are up for sale and “OMG! It’s the end of the world!” No, it really is! You see ‘For Sale” signs are actually a code word for “We’re going to stick some apartments here...” not “Hey, this is my fucking business and I can do what I want because I own it”
So, if you’re one of those idiots out there posting messages like this “I can’t believe they’re selling it! It’s disgusting! Fuck developers! Fuck the government! When are they going to do something to support live music venues! (Insert even more clueless friends name here!) we haven’t been there for years! We have to go down and have one more drink before it closes!” Then, please, feel free to shut the fuck up or alternatively put your money where your mouth is and buy it! Go us! Holding up a mirror to society and such! We’re good!
Once in a while you come across a band that just like doing nothing better than playing rock and roll.
In fact, anyone that get's within earshot of the Dead City Ruins probably aren't going to know what's hit them.
Nothing else matters.
These guys play balls to the wall, good old fashioned rock & roll.
It doesn’t matter where they do it, when they do it or who they do it I front of. As long as they're playing it they're happy. Dead City Ruins are one of those bands. When I give Mick Quee, the bassist from Dead City Ruins, a call he's in Lockhart in country NSW getting ready to play the Railway Hotel. The Railway Hotel probably isn't known as a must stop venue for touring bands around Australia but Dead City Ruins are there to thank the town of Lockhart for helping keep rock & roll in the limelight.
The kind that puts hair on your chest. The kind where there’s a solo you can shake your head and raise your fist to. The kind they used to have in jukeboxes at pubs, just like the Railway Hotel in Lockhart, before the world became a much sadder place and started listening to JJJ. It's also the kind of rock & roll that, at the moment, is probably more appreciated over in Europe than it is right here in Australia. The Dead City Ruins have been tearing up stages over there since they got together.
"I'm originally from up that way" he tells me Including a mammoth 33 date tour with Skid "There was a Pozible campaign to get us over Row and Ugly Kid Joe last year. to Europe last year with Ugly Kid Joe and "The last couple of years we did a couple of Skid Row" tours just by ourselves" "They donated $1000 and part of one of the deals was if you donated $1000 we'd go up and play" Being a reformed local myself, who grew up in a small town just an hour a way, I know a thing or two about the almost non-existent live original music scene up that way. So that leaves me wondering if the poor locals will be able to handle the action packed rock of the Dead City Ruins? "Yeah" says Mick "They won't know what hit them this evening" "We've got a few local bands from around the
"The first year we only had 15 shows booked over 3 months but we went over there and went knocking on doors and ended up playing 50 shows" "We met some people and we went over the next year and that was a bit easier. We just had better tour going” “We supported Mastodon in Italy and through those connections while we were hunting around for a bit of a tour we got in touch with the right people and we submitted our music for the Skid Row and Ugly Kid Joe tour"
area and we're making a bit of a day of it. It "It came down to 5 bands for Skid Row and should be bloody rad" Ugly Kid Joe to choose to take on tour and they chose us. We were pretty stoked" Now, it might sound like I'm being a bit of a snob towards my country cousins (They're It's also a place that the band plan on usually cousins from both sides of the heading back to again later in the year to family stump... Or is that the same side... Ah, try and capitalise on the success that too hard to work out. Let’s just say that we’re they've built for themselves there. all related and involved). "We're more than likely to be heading over But I'm not. there in the second half of this year at
this point" the bassist tells us "We're not sure what we'll be doing or who we're going to tour with but we will definitely be going over"
our room and Rachel from Skid Row could hear us in the next room talking about it"
lot more people."
work" That was pretty full on. I was pretty freaked out being on Skid Rows tour bus. It was just something else"
"He came in and said "Look, I heard what you were talking about. Don't stress. We'll leave "As far as just logistics wise you've only got your van here and split you guys up between a couple of hours between major cities. You the two buses and get you over there and don't have to travel so far and you play to a drop you back when it's done. We'll make it There forays into the brought us both World Wars happens so often that they’ve even set themselves up a small base to work from. "We've got a van and a whole heap of gear stored over there. We just fly over there and pick it up and away we go" Before that happens again Dead City Ruins will be unleashing their brand new album. "We've got our album launch on March 8th at Cherry Bar in AC/DC Lane" say Mick "We just want to get the album out there and start pumping it hard as we can and getting it in people's faces" And pump it will. But it won't just be the Cherry Bar that will be seeing the Dead City Ruins tearing up their stage. The band will again be hooking up with Skid Row and Ugly Kid Joe return to Australia in April. "It's just worked out well that they're coming out here" he tells us "So we're on that as well"
That tour will also be a plus for anyone that gets down to see the Dead City Ruins live. "You're playing live every night on tour" says Mick "We did 33 shows in 36 days and the best practices are the ones that are live on stage. You get a lot tighter and it's different getting on the big stages playing in front of so many people" But it's not just live work that they're looking at. Even though the album is still yet to be launched in Australia the Dead City Ruins are already planning on heading back into the studio for a follow up. "After the tour in April we'll see what's happening" says Mick "We've started writing even now for the next album but we'll start knuckling down once we finish the tour. We will probably look at recording another album later in the year or early next year at some point"
And we will all be very happy including "They were exceptional to us on the last everyone in Lockhart. tour. Especially at the start because we've all been such big fans of the bands since we were kids and we didn't know what to expect"
Dead City Ruins Self Titled Album is available now on iTunes.
"You always hear horror stories of opening bands being treated horribly by the bands or the crew and stuff like that”
LP’s & Albums will be available after the launch at Cherry Bar, AC/DC Lane, Melbourne on March 8th 2014.
“But as soon as we got there everyone was just unbelievable to us. They tried to help us out as much as possible" "We got stuck in Glasgow and we couldn't get across to Ireland on the ferry to play the 2 shows over there. We were talking about it in
CUNTZ
Cuntz are looking for love. They wanted us to tell you that. They want everyone out there to know that they're single and ready to mingle. It was the only way we could get them to do an interview. Cuntz like long romantic walks along random city streets in search of booze and fun, cosy nights in pubs nestled up next to a nice cold beer and enjoy listening to Neil Mitchell. They play pretty mean rock & roll as well. If you haven’t heard Cuntz than you’re probably a pretty bland kind of person so
Murphy's this Irish bar and then we played the after party at 4 o'clock in the morning on the last night of the festival with Evil Army. People were telling us that they might not turn up because they've all been in prison and they're not allowed to leave whatever state they're from and all that but they turned up. They had one of those huge metal drum kits with the racks. Mike had to play on that kit. He uses like three drums. Ben: But there were like 14 drums. Lewis: People were throwing socks at us Has much been happening since you got back?
we’re not going to waste our describing there
Dom: We're trying to get the ball rolling. We
goodness.
played a bit after we got back. It's happening
If you’re ashamed of not knowing just how
slowly.
Cuntz are we recommend getting yourself over
What are you working towards?
to the nearest quality record shop and
Dom: I don't know.
picking up their new album Solid Mates. We caught up with Cuntz for an afternoon of
Lewis: What are we doing?
sunburn, bludging cigarettes (we were doing
Dom: Hopefully something.
the bludging) and a fair few drinks.
Lewis: Cultural relevance.
We think the following is what happened.
Dom: We're doing a grant application at the
I heard you guys have got a live album coming out?
moment.
Dom: Yeah, we recorded a bunch of shows when
Lewis: We have to convince them that we're
we were over in the States. I don't know what
culturally relevant.
the guys name is... I think it's Chunklet? That's
I wonder what they were thinking when they were when they read the name on the application?
what he calls his record label over in the States somewhere down south. Ben: We don't know that much about him. Dom: He put out some 7 inches with the Jesus Lizard and maybe a Jesus Lizard book as well. Hopefully in the middle of the year about
Dom: We've got a mate who does heaps of grant application was telling us that it's fine and doesn't matter. Now, we've just got to convince them that we matter somehow. Hopefully they'll give us 20 grand!
August or so. There's another Total Punk 7 inch Lewis: You never know it might just get it for coming out in April as well. Hopefully another us. "Oh look! They're edgy!" album by the end of the year as well.
Dom: If they give money to a band named Cuntz
How were the States?
a grant then no-one can say that they don't
Ben: It was fucking awesome. Lots of fun.
give money to people based on a name or
Dom: We're trying to get a grant to go back. It's expensive but it's a shitload of fun. Gonerfest was a ripper. The Psychos killed, Mudhoney
anything like that. You guys are kind of culturally relevant in a fucking weird kind of way?
killed it, Spray-Paint were awesome.
Lewis: We just want the government stamp.
Where did you play at Gonerfest?
Ben: We want the approval of the government!
Dom: We ended up playing out the back of
Dom: I will put the federal government stamp
another. They're in the throes of battle and he's lighting his mates ciggy with his ciggy butt. It's two of the most evil blokes in history. You know they're Nazis! But they’re just there lighting a ciggy with so much kindness. We had the album cover before we'd even written anything for the album. Is that where the song came from? Dom: The Solid Mates song? Lewis: We had to make a theme song. How did you guys get together? Dom: We'd been mates for years just from partying and stuff like that. Ben: I can't play any instrument so Lewis was just like "Let's start an band with Dom and you'll be the singer". We were just fucking around and spoke about for six months. Lewis: We'd just talk all the time. Ben: Mike didn't play drums but I think I asked him when I was on ecstasy if he could play on the next record if they give us the money...
drums and he was like "Yeah, I can play drums"
or at least on the next tour poster!
He booked a rehearsal space for the next week.
What "Cuntz: Proudly Brought to you by Tony Abbott"?
Lewis: He made us actually do stuff and we were
Dom: Yeah, our boy Tony or at least the little
just "Oh come on man! We were just talking
Australian Approved Tick that they put on
about it"
food.
There was no plan for world domination then?
You would have been pretty happy with Solid Mates Dom: Nah, now there's a vague plan for world even if it didn't have government approval? it was a domination. big step up from the first album in terms of the sound. Lewis: Yeah, now that we know there's a vague Ben: Yeah, it's just a much better album. possibility. Lewis: I think we were just happy that sold the Ben: Has it turned out people like us? first 300 copies of the first album. We Lewis: Yeah, apparently. repressed it 3 times. We sold a thousand with the first so Richie pressed up a thousand straight away for Solid Mates.
You guys have picked up a fair few fans then? Dom: After we got booked for Gonerfest people
Dom: The first one we just recorded in a tiny
in Melbourne just kind of flipped and came
little room. We spent no money on it.
around. It seems kind of fickle. As soon as we
Solid Mates would have to have be my favourite album cover. Where did that come from? Ben: Mike found it in an op shop in some Nazi book. Lewis: It was just a propaganda shot for the Nazis. Dom: They're just being so gentle with one
got picked up for that people started coming to the shows. Ben: It was basically just the Bits of Shit who were the only people who would ask us to play until everyone found out we were off to America. Not everyone but enough. Dom: It was just weird. People got on board over there before they got on board here.
That pig fucking sound you've got must be a bit more popular over there than here? Dom: It's pretty natural for us. It's just a combination of how we played in other bands and when we all came together that's the way it ended up sounding. Was it easier playing in the States? Dom: Man, it was just so fucking easy. That's what shocked me the most. Ben: We just put it up on the internet that we were coming over and gave a rough idea of where we were going to travel and all these bands just put their hands up. Dom: They just came out of the wood work.
so many different bands. They've just got a
Lewis: They were just "You can stay at our
really good scene where they all play
house, you can play here, we'll organise the
together.
line up"
Dom: They're all real tight up there. Everyone
Dom: They put us up and we got paid.
seems to be in five or six different bands but
Ben: Bands that we played with would give us
they all play together and help one another
there share of the cash because they knew we
out to book shows and all that. When we went
were on the road. We played a show in
up there they put on 3 shows, put us up and
lost money on the show but they gave us money
play with them.
out of the guarantee. It's just shit like that.
Lewis: They get into as well. Everyone that's
Everyone just wants to help you out.
moved down from Brisbane doesn't understand
Dom: There is a sense of community here
what Melbourne's about. That fucking standing
if we're a part of a smaller community as
Dom: Hopefully that sort of shit will change.
opposed to the larger one. I'm not too sure. It's
That Melbourne stare thing.
Baltimore with Destruction Unit that was a bit showed us around. they were just generally excited to have another band from out of town of flop. They got a guarantee and the venue
amongst bands and stuff like that. I don't know back with your arms crossed shit.
just generally difficult for us to book shows here and find bands to play with. Do you think it would be easier to something like what King Parrot are doing where they're actively seeking out different sorts of bands to play with so they get there crowd and the other bands crowd as well? Dom: That's what you want. You want to see something different when you go to a show. You don't want to see the same old shit. We played with a buddy of ours called James Tom who's in a band Kracktoa and another band. When he plays with one of them it's experimental jazz
It never will but at least you guys are pretty animated up there. Dom: We enjoy ourselves. Ben: Until someone smashes you in the head with a baseball bat. Are you planning on playing many shows this year? Dom: We've got a few lined up over the next couple of months. We'll play whenever people ask us to play. We don't really go out of our way to book shows anymore but if people get in touch with us.
and when he plays by himself it's
So there you go people whether it be for love
experimental synth. They're the best shows we
or just for a show... hit Cuntz up!
play. Ben: When we went up Brisbane we played with
They're lovely.
The Smith Street Band are a band that can easily divide opinions.
following that most bands would only dream of. In 2013, they played around the world and
Usually, those opinions, both in the
Australia with everyone from the Bennies to a
affirmative and negative, are divided simply
2 month jaunt around the US of A with Frank
because most people are cliquey poseurs who
Turner, did a Big Day Out, played Meredith and
posture their little stance because, for some
then to celebrate the end of the year that seen
bewildering reason, they think they're
them release the most appropriately named EP
relevant.
of 2013, Don't Fuck With Our Dreams, played to
They're not. Usually, they're just a bunch of people with a lot less talent than the thing they're demonising or applauding. It's just one of the weird things about the world. The Smith Street Band on the other hand are uniquely relevant.
an adoring crowd at Falls Festival. It's something that still shocks and humbles the Smith Street band front man. "I'm still sort of amazed that anyone comes to shows" he laughs "Every time we play I don't expect people to come but they do and I'm fucking stoked that they do!" But even with such a blistering and busy year
behind them the Melbourne 4 piece aren't With a swag full of albums, EP's and tours both slowing down with plans to head off on a 14 here and abroad under their arm, not to date tour around the country before returning mention an upcoming tour around Australia
to Europe for yet another tour and a slot at and Europe as well as another new full length Belgium's Groezrock Festival. LP in the works, the Smith Street Band are "The first Corner show of this tour sold out a slowly cementing themselves as one of few months before it was happening. And the Australia's premier bands. second ones just went on sale and it's half With a style that revels in absolutely no sold out" style, the Smith Street Band combine
everything from folksy-punk-rock story telling melancholy to riff heavy anthemic blasts with an honesty that, at times, can
The fact they've sold out the iconic Melbourne venue is something Wagner never imagined he would be able to do with the band.
leave the listener feeling a tad uncomfortable "That was sort of the only goal or lofty for them. There's nothing self-conscious about the Smith Street Band. Love them or hate them, it's an honesty that's
ambition we had when we first started the band was to play at the Corner" "Not even headlining. We just thought it would be fucking cool just to play at the Corner"
sorely missing from a lot of the bands out
"Now, this will be the fourth or fifth time that
there plying 3 fuzzy chords and oft-kilter
we're playing there and the second time
shouting to crowds around the sticky carpets.
headlining where it's sold out. It's amazing"
"It's an interesting thing" guitarist/vocalist/
"It's hard to put into words how exciting it is.
songwriter Will Wagner contemplates "I think
It's super humbling and it's very satisfying to
people respond to immediacy and honesty "
have something like that happen I guess"
"So that's all I try to do with the writing"
"We're fucking incredibly excited about it. It's
"I'm not too worried if people like it or not" "As long as I know that I'm doing something that I really believe in" It's that kind of belief that has garnered the Smith Street Band the kind of success and
going to be a great show" Along for the ride will be Perth stalwarts Grim Fandango and Pennsylvanian punkers the Menzingers, who will be returning to Australia for the third time in as many years. "We've never played with Menzingers before"
says Will "We've got a lot of mutual friends with them I guess" "There's sort of this little community of bands in the States and we played with all of them except the Menzingers it seems" "We're huge fans of the band and it's cool that we can offer these tours to international bands now and open doors for them that wouldn't be open for them if it wasn't for us opening" "It's exciting because they're an awesome band.
would so it could be a bit later than that but at the moment the middle of November is where we're aiming for with the new album" With so much success and the amount of praise directed not just towards the band but Wagner himself does he think that there's certain expectations from fans in regards to the next album? "There is but I think, for me, I suffered the most from that between the first and second albums" "That was almost the biggest jump"
I'm just looking forward to seeing them"
"Now, there are a few people listening to us"
"We just want to tour with bands that we like
"But that jump from literally no-one, besides
so we can watch that band every night. That's
my Mum and some friends, listening to us with
the main thing with the Menzingers and Grim
the first album to getting some radio play and
Fandango. They're just great bands"
having people come to the shows"
The tour will also see Wagner and the rest of
"That was the hardest thing for me to deal
the Smith Street Band debut a whole bunch of
with in regards to people's expectations when
new songs for their rabid fan base to sink
it comes to writing"
their teeth into.
"I guess now I'm more practised at it and if I
"I guess an aim for the tour is to play a
sit down and go "I'm going to write a song
different new song for every night of the
about this!" The songs always slip"
Australian tour" Will tells us "Then we go onto Europe for another 40 shows where we can play new stuff"
"If I just let the lyrics kind of flow when I'm not really thinking they're the ones people always seem to respond to more. If I think less
So does that mean that Smith Street Band
about the people I'm writing the song for they
enthusiasts can expect that another album is
seem to enjoy it a lot more than if I think "Oh,
in the works?
this could be a relatable line""
"We're actually writing it at the moment" he
A lot of Wagner's song writing comes back to
tells us "We've been doing it pretty much since
the kind of honesty that can only be measured
we got back from America, We started jamming 4
against the kind of reaction he would get, not
or 5 times a week"
from the crowd, but from his own mother.
"We've got a permanent rehearsal space and
"If I'm writing a song and I think "Oh, shit!
we've been going in there most days and
Fuck! That's a little bit too much. That might
spending 5 or 6 hours working on the new
be a little hard to explain to Mum" or
stuff"
something like that" he laughs "They're
"At the moment, I think we've got 12 songs written with the full band but there's probably another 20 or so for us to learn" "I think we get back (from Europe) around June and we're booking studio time and stuff at the
always the lines that people relate to the most" "They're the lines that they find the most endearing because it is me showing my faults and things like that�
moment with an album to come out around
“I don't think a lot of people do that with
November-ish"
they're writing. They try and write about how
"But with all of these things everything takes an extra 2 weeks longer than you thought it
nasty someone was to them or how they're really hurt and they're going to get stronger
or blah, blah, blah" "I think people just relate to me because we're all going through the same shit. We're all kind of fucked" "Everyone gets dumped, everyone drinks too much or smokes too much. Everyone I know is going through the same kind of shit. I feel
so angry about what that person said to me 6 months ago. I haven't even realised it until now! I have to go and apologise to them!" “The world just makes a lot more sense to me when I'm playing or writing than any other time" "It's like a happy place crossed with a
like it would be arrogant of me to think that I psychiatrist. That's my go to gag that writing know what everyone else feels and the pain that they go through. That's why I just write about my own experiences" But it's just not in his song writing that Wagner is able to express himself in ways that he wouldn't usually be able to.
songs is cheaper than therapy" Some of that money saved on psychiatrists though is probably spent pretty quickly with the Smith Street Band. Last year saw the band take centre stage for something other than their music when Wagner's
"I really struggle in social situations" he
equipment featured in what is now
tells us "One on one I'm really bad at talking.
affectionately referred to as #AmpGate.
I get really awkward"
#AmpGate, if you're not aware, occurred when
"But then I can up in front of 400 people and
Wagner's Fender Deluxe Amp was stolen after a
talk about how fat I am"
gig at the Old Bar.
"To me it's the most comfortable way I have of
The band took to social media in an effort to
processing emotions. I will be playing a song
get the amp back and at one stage was one of
for the 15th time and be half way through it
the highest trending things on Twitter
playing it live and it will be "Oh, now I get
(editors note: We actually don't know the
what I'm saying. Oh my god! I can't believe I was terminology in reference to Twitter... sorry if
it's wrong. We still laugh when we read about the whole #FedoraGuy thing). "It was crazy" says Wagner "That kind of shit does happen every now and then" "I've had a couple of guitars stolen and as soon as they're gone it's like "Oh, I'm not getting that back"“ “It's like anything”
quick buck. "We're really about playing all the cheap stuff because we're quite broke all the time" explains Wagner "I play a J Mascis Signature Squier Jazzmaster" "I've only owned 2 Fenders in my life. A Tele and a Jag both of which I've given away to people but these fucking Squiers! Man! Our
lead guitarist is the same I think his just “You know, your phone gets stolen at a party got four of the same Squier and he loves them" and you don't think that you're going to get it "I've played American Standard Jazzmasters back. You just assume that it's gone" and all that kind of stuff and they just don't "Having 2 guitars stolen from me in the past feel as good as these 3 or 4 hundred dollar where I haven't got them back and it was amazing to see how many people got around the whole #AmpGate thing”
Squier things" But, as any guitarist will confirm, playing a
shitty guitar sometimes comes with a few “I'm sitting in my room now looking at the amp drawbacks. and it's awesome! It's great! I would never have "I guess we all know a fair bit about how been able to afford another one so I'm fucking guitars work and how to fix them. So if pretty stoked about getting it back! I can tell something goes wrong we can dump out the you that!" tools and we know how to fix it. " Probably the biggest shock for the band, "I guess I love having that kind of ownership apart from having the amp returned, was when over an instrument. It really feels like my fans started to question whether the whole guitar. Even if I got a nicer, more expensive thing was a publicity stunt in support of the guitar I think it would take me a while to release of the EP Don't Fuck With Our Dreams. find my way around it. But with those guitars "It's sort of funny" Wagner says "But it's kind I just pick them up and they feel so of annoying now"
"Just recently a friend of ours, a sound guy,
comfortable in my hands"
"I'm just really passionate about cheap shitty had all of his mics and stuff stolen. We put a guitars I guess" picture up on Facebook saying "A friend of The Smith Street Band, the Menzingers and Grim ours down in Geelong has all of his shit Fandango will be playing the following dates. stolen. If you see any of it pop up just hit us FRI MARCH 14 • THE ZOO • BRISBANE up or hit up Trav" blah, blah, blah" SAT MARCH 15 • CORNER HOTEL • MELBOURNE **SOLD OUT** "It was like "Oh, are you trying to do another SUN MARCH 16 • CORNER HOTEL • MELBOURNE PR stunt?" and all this shit. It was just like WED MARCH 19 • PRINCE OF WALES • BUNBURY "No, our friend had all his shit stolen and THU MARCH 20 • HQ • PERTH (AA) FRI MARCH 21 • ROSEMOUNT HOTEL • PERTH we're trying to help him out!" It got a bit SAT MARCH 22 • UNI BAR • ADELAIDE weird with people thinking that it was a PR SUN MARCH 23 • KAROVA LOUNGE • BALLARAT stunt" WED MARCH 26 • BRISBANE HOTEL • HOBART THU MARCH 27 • THE PAV • LAUNCESTON "I think enough people know that it wasn't. FRI MARCH 28 • THE SMALL BALLROOM • NEWCASTLE SAT MARCH 29 • THE LAIR• SYDNEY (AA But it is kind of funny that people are 1PM) annoyed at us for having our stuff stolen. We SAT MARCH 29 • THE LAIR • SYDNEY (18+ 7PM can't really help that!" SUN MARCH 30 • TRANSIT BAR• CANBERRA ALL TICKETS AVAILABLE THROUGH Not that thieves should be targeting the www.thesmithstreetband.com Smith Street Band if they're looking to make a
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STEVE LUCAS CHILDWISE BENEFIT CONCERT
Steve Lucas believes that anyone can make a difference. "I don't have gold records or top 40 hits on high rotation and shit like that. I've been kicking around in the underground music scene since 1977 and in the grand scheme of things I'm not Bob Geldolf"
they didn't have a backline that had been supplied courtesy of anyone, they hadn't done any radio or anything like that so I offered to do that" His involvement inspired him to become more involved in the charity. "I thought if I'm going to talk about things
"But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't do something. I'm just hoping to lead by example"
that make a difference that not much point in just saying "Oh, I'm playing a gig! Come and watch!""
"You might feel like you can do nothing but you can. You can buy a ticket, work for a charity, have a bake sale"
"So I got them to send me as much information as possible and once I started reading about what they were doing and the statistics involving children and sexual abuse I was just horrified. So I really went all out to make that gig as successful as possible"
"Whatever people do, even it only seems a little, you add all those little things up and it becomes a lot" "A lot can become a really big thing. It's all about growth. Just trying to get that little pebble kicking down the hill to start the avalanche" "That's what the concert is all about. Empowering yourself and other to affect positive change" The X guitarist and well known Australian musician is hoping that his Child Wise Benefit Concert at the Thornbury Theatre in Melbourne will be one of those pebbles that will turn into an avalanche. "If I get 100 people that's $5000" says Steve "If I get 200 that's $10 000, if I get 800 that's $40 000" Child Wise is one of Australia’s leading notfor-profit child sexual abuse prevention organisations dedicated to protecting children from abuse and exploitation in Australia and overseas. It's something that Steve Lucas has been passionate about for years. "I've been involved with Child Wise for three years now" he tells us "The first time I became involved with them was when someone asked me to participate in a benefit years ago"
"During the process I did some of their training course so I could understand how the charity worked not just from the outside but from the inside. I just wanted to know everything and because I was so keen to help them out they asked me if I wanted to be an ambassador so obviously I said yes" His role as an ambassador for Child Wise has seen him gather together a host of Australian musicians including James Reyne, Tim Rogers, Davey Lane, Chris Wilson, Debra Leigh Byrne and a host of others to raise money for the charity. "I was looking at it the other day and I thought what an eclectic bunch of people" says Steve "On one extreme you've got me from the X days.” “That rabid, punk, notorious or infamous as you might say. There's so many adjectives that have been attached to my name" I don't know how many I live up to but there's that" "Then the other extreme is we've got Murray Cook from the Wiggles which is one of the most squeaky clean things you could ever imagine" "Sandwiched between those extremes you've got James Reyne, Tim and Davey from You Am I, Jack and Doug from Hunters & Collectors”
"That benefit wasn't going to well. I realised “Chris Wilson who everyone knows and loves,
you've got Debbie Byrne or Debra Anne Byrne as she's now known..." "Who else is there?” “There's Rob Snarski who's doing a couple of songs. There's Bruce Hayme and Steven Hadley who are a couple of the most full on working musicians in Melbourne. Brett Kingman, who is a consummate guitar player, and Tracey, his sister, who works with James all the time"
"Tim and Davey will do some stuff together, they will do some stuff with me, they will do some stuff with other people" "Chris Wilson he's always keen to be a part of anything and everything but putting him and Jerome together for a couple of songs, just real back room blues, that to me is one of the things that I'm really excited to see myself"
"Everyone else feels the same. Tim said to me "I can't wait to see you and Davey do that "Jerome Smith who's played in bands with Who song" because I said to him "Do you want Mick Jagger on tour and he was also in the X to play on that too?" and he said "No, that -Pensive Winos with Keith Richards" one I just want to see!"" "It's a diverse and big line up and for 50 But will Steve play one of Rock & Roll bucks I think it's a bargain" Magazines favourite songs Home Is Where The That's right folks.... there will be a Wiggle! A Floor Is? motherfucking Wiggle! And the Red one at "No" he laughs "But I will play Mother" that! Damn. "One of the big surprises was sitting at home and opening up my email and there's an email OK, so this is in a different font so you know that it must be special. from Murray saying "I've heard about what you're doing and I would really like to be a part of it. Can we talk about it?" “I just thought a: how the fuck did he hear about it? And b: how awesome is it that he came forward? That's the thing it's all about. Using your initiative!" The night is also something that will see all the musicians get together for a series of one off jams that the music community will be unlikely to see anywhere else ever again. "Look for me to be able to do a song like the Who's See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me with Davey Lane and Doug with the band powering along!" Steve tell us "I get shivers just thinking in anticipation about how that's going to feel" "To do a song like Something In The Air, it's an oldie but a goldie, but it's still relevant because it's about people deciding to make a change. To have that knowing there will be a full horn section. Everything will just be so huge"
It is. We'd just like to encourage all readers of Rock & Roll Magazine to get out there and lend a bit of support to this benefit. The above hasn't even done justice to what a huge night that Steve Lucas has organised. Not only will there be a diverse bunch of musicians getting up and playing a whole heap of music that you're unlikely to see again but there will also be a shit load of door prizes and a silent auction that's got everything from a Maton guitar signed by over 70 musicians to a signed Reg Mombassa print and artwork from the Church's Steve Kilbey. If that isn't enough to convince you to get in the door or to make a donation then just think about this... It's a tax deduction. That's right you're ticket will be a tax deduction! Hate the Government? Want to see Tony Abbott pay for you to go watch some tunes? Buy a ticket! How easy is that? CHILD WISE BENEFIT CONCERT THORNBURY THEARTRE MARCH 28 TICKETS AVAILABLE FROM www.thethornburytheartre.com.au
Appearances can be deceiving. Take for instance the shark. To a lot of people, including my country bred, dam swimming, non- coastal raised arse, they're a vicious killer with no remorse that will hunt you down and rip you apart, limb from limb, in some sort of crazed, pink salty foamed tinged, water based bloodlust. I've seen Jaws.
at how many sharks us humans knock off per year just to fin them..." "They're might be five shark fatalities per year worldwide!" "It's just crazy. It's unfair" "They talk about the surge in numbers and all that means is that the conservation is working" "15 years ago they decided to start protecting
They're remorseless seekers of human flesh who them and basically only now are they starting are one of the most dangerous predators known to man.
to breed and getting the numbers up slightly" "All they're going to do is undo a decade and a
But to Tom Lyngcoln they're just something he
halves work by slaughtering a bunch of them
likes to swim with.
and paying the blokes doing it way too much
"They're like big dogs" he tells me. Big dogs? Is he kidding me? Apparently not. He's even going to head overseas for a bit of a holiday to jump in the water with a few of these lovable ocean cruising pooches. "I do it all the time wherever I can" "They've got a bunch of stuff that you can't do in Australia" he says of his upcoming trip to South Africa "They've got Oceanic, Mako and blue shark diving"
money to do it" The sad thing is that his right. You've got more chance of winning the lottery than you do of being killed by a shark. Appearances, as I wrote before, can be deceiving. Take for instance Tom's band Harmony. There's Tom Lyngcoln himself, who's other band the Nation Blue are renowned for frenetic punk rock live shows dripping in intensity, his wife and Harmony drummer Alex Lyngcoln, a former member of the killer Remake Remodel, and ex mclusky bassist and Shooting At Unarmed Men
"You get in a cage and there's just a shitload
front man Jon Chappel.
of sharks out there"
Add to that the reprises of Amanda Roff, Quinn
"I love doing it. I've done some great white
Veldhuis and newcomer Erica Dunn, who has
stuff in Port Lincoln and a few other joints" "I'll happily travel to see big fish in the water" But the whole remorseless seekers of human flesh thing doesn't worry him? "It's just ridiculous" he assures me "If you look
replaced Alex's sister Maria as the third voice in Harmony's vocal trio, and you have a band that, by all appearances, shouldn't work. But it does. "It started with Alex and I just jamming and when we had a few things down we decided we'd try to do something" says Tom "Jon came to mind
and I approached him and he was up for it" "The Nation Blue had played with mclusky a whole bunch when they toured� “He had absolutely no recollection of me at all. I guess I'm not a particularly memorable person" "From there I had a few other people that I wanted to work with and they all said yes. Somehow it worked. It's just this weird kind of
feature artists as diverse as Adalita, Batpiss, Spod, TV Colours and Mick Turner reimagining the album in its entirety. "Basically" Tom explains "we just wanted a bunch of people to reinterpret the songs" "Instead of remixes or anything like that we figured we'd give people the audio files and they could do something new with them or just go altogether on something else"
beast that's spawned out of the chemistry of 6
"We basically gave them open slather to do
people"
whatever the hell they wanted and people did!
Their sophomore album, Carpetbombing, has been
And we couldn't be happier with the results"
released to some of the most laudatory critical The experiment has also seen Harmony take acclaim seen for quite some time.
cues from what was returned to them.
For Rock & Roll Magazine it instantly became
"We're even playing the song Do Me A Favour
an album that we describe as "The album Nick
with a different bit that Batpiss came up with"
Cave wishes he could make"
he tells us "We're playing that live the way
No small amount praise. But it's just not us that have fallen in love with Melbourne 6 pieces latest offering.
they recorded it. It's started to have an influence on us" "It took a shitload of work. It was another 12 months to put all that together. I recorded
Carpetbombing already has every other critic
some of them as well and we eventually got
and reviewer who listens to it wondering "Is
there. It just added to the workload but it was
this the album of the year?"
well worth it"
It could quite be.
Lyngcoln, who has previously recorded and But it's the type of response that Tom Lyngcoln produced bands such as the Spinning Rooms, Batpiss, Hoss, Spite House, The Nation Blue, The is happy to dismiss. Ocean Party as well as the first Harmony "Look, it's nice" he reflects "It's certainly album, also found himself at the desk not just nice that people are into it and get it" for Deconstructions but also for "I kind of hope that people just come to the shows and enjoy it on that level" "The critical stuff is all fine. We put a lot of work on that side of things to make sure that we're not just an indiscernible, amorphous blob of nothing" "We definitely try to do our own thing and it's nice that people respond to it"
Carpetbombing. Something, he explained, like a lot of what Harmony do, is quite the endeavour. "It kind of takes forever because we just do it when we have available time" he explains "But we started it probably in the end of 2011 and then we just slowly but surely put it together over 18 months"
"But it would be great to see people at the shows and enjoying themselves there too"
"Then I took about 6 months to mix it. So it's a
Doing their own thing is something that Tom
The results though are well worth the time.
Lyngcoln And his compatriots in Harmony do
slow old process when you do it yourself"
well.
Carpetbombing isn't an album that's easily defined.
Included along with the LP release of Carpetbombing will be a full length album
Swaying between harsh melodic balladry and a
download of Deconstructions which will
dirty blues of its own concoction Harmony manage to sonically standout as a one of a
kind band.
is as unique and cohesive as it is powerful.
"We're all over the joint" Lyngcoln ponders "It
"It's pretty impressive" he says "Especially
seems like every band I'm in you end up just
with the girls because that sort of singing is
completely scene-less. There's no like minded
a really hard thing to do"
bands. You just end up floating around" "That can be good and bad but it can also be pretty isolating so you have to be pretty staunch about it and keep doing what you do"
"I certainly am unable to do anything along those lines. That's for sure" So with so many people and their opinions does that make the song writing a bit of a hassle?
"If you're doing it to be a part of a scene, make "I write the vast majority" he tells us "But mates and do things easily with a network of everybody contributes all their bits" people there to support you it's definitely not "With all the harmonies that's left completely the band to do that" "You've got to be pretty weathered and ready for it with this band. We are out there by ourselves" "But I'm kind of happy there's no one out there that sounds like us. It makes it a lot more fun for us" Some of that fun could be to do with the seemingly unnatural make up of the band. Lyngcoln provides the vast majority of the material but with so many moving and opposing parts rubbing against one another Harmony are a band that still manages to play music that
to the girls. I might have the occasional idea of where and on what things. But as far as how it's done that's them" "We think of the band in 2 halves" he continues "They're one half of the band and the rhythm section and me singing is another half" "They really create half the sound with what they write. It's pretty dynamic and pretty hard to do" "So I just stay out of it and let them do their thing" But with two halves effectively operating
within the one band environment that could
year. We've got one in April and then probably
lead to some tension?
do another later in the year"
"There is a lot of elements and it's an
"Basically in the middle of the year I'm going
organism all of its own" Tom says "When we
to head off overseas with Alex and go do some
tour or when we do anything it's a lot of
shark diving in South Africa and a few things
people to get around the country"
like that. Just clear the head for the month or
"It's surprisingly easy between the people. It's always a lot of fun and there's never any issues" "There's little sleeper cells left, right and centre that go off and do their own thing but logistically it's a fucking nightmare because there's so many people involved" "You have to be thinking all the time"
two and then come back and get into working and touring" "I'm looking down the barrel of a nice quick tour in April, then a holiday, then come back and play a bunch of shows and hopefully some festivals before we get cracking on another record that we've already got a bunch of songs for" But with so many positive things happening
"When it comes to providing accommodation for
for Tom Lyngcoln you would think that Harmony
those people and all the rest of it. It's a big
wouldn't be as mournful and harrowing as what
undertaking"
it is.
"But it's well worth it. I love it. I've always
"I couldn't write a happy song if I tried" he
played in small largely male orientated bands
laughs "I'm just incapable of it. I'm generally a
where you just all pile into a van. This is
pretty easy going type of person but when it
like a great big family that travels around.
comes to writing lyrics they always just turn
It's really fun"
out pretty rough"
And while it may be the equivalent of moving a "Most of the record is either about death or small army around the country Harmony are nightmares. Those things I can write pretty itching to get their live show back on the road easily about. I've got an abundance of stuff even after last year's unexpectedly busy that I can tap into with that" schedule. "It's not always the greatest thing to listen to "We were going to try and squeeze the record and sometimes it's not always the greatest out last year" Tom says "We were probably
thing to sing either. It can kind of just bum
ready in June to go with it but we thought we
you out a bit"
wouldn't rush it. So we just went easy with it"
"I must admit though, for me, the music takes
"Effectively, what we ended up kind of doing
precedence over the lyrics. It's got priority. I
was trying not to play and trying to have a
don't think it's pop music. I don't think the
break and in doing that we ended up playing
lyrics are there to dominate"
ATP, Boogie and doing the Drones tour. We ended up having an absolute cracker "
"For me it's another instrument that should sit there and get the job done. A lot of people
The unexpected amount of live shows also had
think otherwise and have a different approach
another benefit for the band.
to it but for me it's all about creating a wall
"We ended up hitting our stride with the live
of noise and the voice is a part of that"
shows as well" he says "It's just starting to
Which in it’s own weird way doesn’t bring us
click live and firing on all cylinders"
back to where we began which is sharks.
"Before that we would probably have bad show every third one but we haven't had a bad one
If you think sharks are dangerous.
for at least six months. I think we just figured out how to do the damn thing live" "We'll probably clock up a couple of tours this
Go and buy this record or go along to a Harmony show. Finally, music is dangerous again!
Harmony Carpetbombing Review: Shane Hilton
This is the album that Nick Cave wishes he could make.
Chappel, of the bands Remake Remodel and mclusky respectively, are probably the most unlikely rhythm section ever to find a groove together.
There’s probably a million words and ways you could describe this album but we’re so blown away with Carpetbombing that we can’t Yet, on this album they’re the heart of think of any other than “Yep, Nick Cave couldn’t do this even if Harmony rocked up and did it for him” It’s haunting. It’s ethereal. It’s dark.
everything that’s going on around them. They’re the stiches that keep all the chaos around them from falling apart. One of those responsible for all that chaos is Alex’s husband and Harmony front man Tom.
Everything from the brooding intensity of his voice belting out tortured, raw sounds This has been bellowing its way through our that make the hairs on the back of your speakers every day since we got our hands neck stand up to the evil guitar that on it. manically rears it’s head out of the wall of The real delight in listening to this album noise the band creates builds into something that will break your brain. is that there’s nothing else like it out It’s good.
there.
It’s amazing it was caught on record.
There is no reference for it.
Then there’s those vocals from Amanda Roff, Quinn Veldhuis and Erica Dunn.
It kind of makes things hard when most
reviews name check and compare the album to Shit. everything that’s came before it. They just make everything that more How do you do that with something like beautiful and morose. Carpetbombing? We can’t recommend this enough. You don’t. The most deserving five star record we’ve You just go to the source. come across so far. Drummer Alex Lyngcoln and bassist Jon
Jon Snow might be dead.
We should all read.
If you have no idea what that sentence is about you're obviously a fucking loser!
If you're too stupid to pick up a fucking book and have a fucking go ... Well, I'm afraid to say that you're too stupid to watch television!
Game of Thrones man! Game of Thrones! Now of course it isn't really Game of Thrones... That bit of knowledge is in fact from A Dance With Dragons. A Dance With Dragons is the fifth novel, of a planned 7, in George R. R. Martins epic fantasy series A Song of Ice & Fire. But it isn't really.... It's really 'Game of Thrones'! Now, the real thing that pisses us with this whole 'Game of Thrones' thing is this imaginary rule that if you've read the books you're not allowed to mention anything that's happened in them in any public forum. Why? Because people are too fucking stupid to read and hence... since they are the vast majority! You better shut your fucking mouth about what happens to Arrya fucking Stark! Fuck it! When did it become a crime to read?
You don't deserve television. People who read books invented television. You shouldn't be allowed to benefit from that. The whole thing about reading books is to get together with other people that have also read the same book and to talk about them. That's why they have that hot chick in fishnets that used to be on Triple J on that book show on the ABC! Oh, those fishnets and short skirts! Man, you thought SBS was good for late night masturbation (I know there's the internet but I'm old school! I like having to use a bit of imagination)! That shows the bomb! You just have to close your eyes and keep her image in your head when the other fucks pop into view. But that's beside the point! The fact is that they've all read the books! Then they've all got together and talked about them.
It's about expanding your mind and educating yourself. This is the problem with society in general. Every cunt’s a lazy, spoilt, know it all that can't be bothered actually going out and doing anything even remotely challenging.
that his father does not in fact shit gold.
Jon Arryn (the guy who died at the start of the series) was actually killed by his wife Lady Lysa Arryn and was persuaded to do so by Littlefinger!
Littlefinger, after helping Sansa Stark escape Kings Landing, marries Lysa Arryn and then throws her to her death after she catches him kissing her niece Sansa...
Jaime Lannister gets back to Kings Landing and one thing leads to another and he finds out that his sister/lover was also having an affair with their cousin Lancel and he cracks the shits big time. He refuses to rescue Cersei after she is imprisoned for adultery/keeping the family tree looking like a stump (Cersei originally tried to have Margery, who marries the newly crowned King Tommen after the death of Joffrey, thrown in prison but shit backfired)
Daenerys Targaryen isn't the only Targaryen left alive! That's right there's another one! Aegon , Daenerys nephew, hooks up with Tyrion, after Tyrion is smuggled to the Free Cities by Varys, and then the little Targaryen decides to invade Westeros.
Tyrion is eventually kidnapped by Ser Jorah Mormont, who is hoping to win back some good graces after being banished Daenerys, they are both sold into slavery and eventually end up joining a mercenary group, the Second Sons.
Daenerys Targaryen is flown by one of her big ass dragons into the Dothraki Sea after a whole heap of people try to kill her. There she runs into Khol Jhaqo. No-one knows what happens next.
Arya Stark doesn't do much. She trains as an assassin and goes blind for a bit.
Jon Snow as previously stated may or may not die. He’s been stabbed a few times and everything kind of went Sopranos last episode on us. He did become Lord Commander of the Nights Watch and we find out that his father was in fact Ronald McDonald.
They expect everything to be handed to them on a plate. Just have a look at some of the bands out there! Why do you think Twitter and Instagram are so popular? We’re of the firm belief that in order to do some things in life sometimes you have to do them the hard way. But no! These idiots like to say "I'm reading the books after the television show" or some shit like that! Bullshit. If that's your excuse you're just a lazy son of a bitch. That's why we thought we would give you a guide on how to wreck "Game of Thrones" for anybody and everyone. Even if you’ve never read the books or watched the television show just remember a couple of points from the following and you will be able to teach these numbskulls that idiocy should never be rewarded.
Catelyn Stark isn't dead... She get's reanimated by the Brotherhood Without Banners and gets about seeking revenge on all those people she thinks fucked the Stark family over!
Ygritte... Is that how you spell it! John Snows girlfriend... Dead!
Joffrey gets poisoned on his wedding night and dies. Tyrion gets blamed/framed and is thrown into prison. Who killed Joffrey? We don't know yet.
Tyrion aided by Varys and his brother Jaime escapes from prison, swears revenge on everyone (he finds out the 'prostitute' he married when he was younger was actually a just some chick who was really in love with him) and then kills Shay (the hot chick who used to make pornos when she had a big nose) and his father Tywin Lannister, who’d already started banging his short statured sons girlfriend. Shoots his old man with a crossbow while his sitting on the 'throne' and confirms once and for all
So there you go. That should be enough so you can now effectively piss people off. Trust us it's fucking hilarious. Just remember when they start bitching to tell them that reading is important. Being the type of person that needs pictures of food so they know what to eat is not.
Hello!
because the stuff they want us to
Is there anybody out there?
review is the stuff we usually ignore. Seriously, some of the shit they send
There isn’t? Well, we’ll put this here anyway!
us is a cure for happiness.
But if you have an album or you know We’re looking for more albums to review! of someone who has one that needs a Preferably those with a local flavour
bit of an old review let us know.
and are decent things to listen too
We don’t take submissions because that’s
(kind of important) You can send them to: Rock & Roll Magazine PO Box 5034 Burnley VIC 3121 Or alternatively send the info about where and how we can buy them to
just nasty... “Oh yeah! Come do all our work and we won’t pay you!” just doesn’t feel right to us. But we will review the albums that are sent to us (if they’re not shit of course).
music@rockandrollmagazine.com (we
Is that all?
don’t mind paying for them)
Yep.
Most of the record companies hate us
Back to normal transmissions!
Cuntz Solid Mates Review: Shane Hilton
This band is made for sensationalism.
a living. They would hurt you.
They’re called Cuntz.
The biggest surprise with Cuntz are they’re
They’re new album has a couple of Nazis on the front smoking... Now, we’re not sure which is worse these days Nazis or smoking but we’re pretty sure they're both pretty well hated around the same level. Hell, Cuntz even got a mention on Neil Mitchells radio program when the Tote painted their name on the wall to advertise an upcoming gig. Fortunately, the most sensational thing about them is the music they spit out. There’s not much about this album we don’t like.
not afraid to show their more masculine side. While a lot of bands don’t highlight the fact that they’ve got a dick and acknowledge all the faults and weird thoughts and habits that come with being attached to such an appendage. Cuntz aren’t afraid to shy away from the fact. Hell, listen to ‘Ation and it sums up just what it’s like to be a man in need of a little bit of a lie down. But don’t for a minute that this is some sort of dumb jock rock. It’s some of the most clever music your likely to listen too.
It’s the kind of punk rock that’s got a little It’s a snapshot of life. bit of everything to keep the discerning listener on the edge of their seat (if they Sure not always the prettiest aspects of can manage not dance around like a fucking life and not one that you would see on idiot when listening to it).
Facebook.
Solid Mates is pure aggression wrapped in sneering lurches of ratbag humour.
But I for one much prefer the type of life caught on this record than any other.
You know how a lot of people like to describe good drummers with the old “Well, you’d hate to be that pricks drum kit!”
At least it’s real.
Being any sort of musical equipment around Cuntz would be a really shitty way to make
Cuntz are a band that could give the Sick Things a run for their money. Actually, they’d probably just take their money and head straight to the bar.
The Black Lips
Various
Under the Rainbow
Ronnie James Dio—This Is Your Life Review: Strawb G Hetti
Review: Bruce “Lefty” Knox
Pull out you’re motherfucking striped tshirt, pour yourself a shitty small batch
This might come as a surprise but the actual point of reviewing albums is purely
pear and alfalfa sprout cider and get ready commercial. for the first album from the Black Lips in 3 People write them so people go out and buy years. them. It’s all about the cash. Ok, that’s enough hanging shit on try hard poseur fans and let’s start talking about the album. D, my friends, is for delightful! What a rollicking batch of tunes the Black lips have assembled for us to listen to. The lo-fi, twangy guitar, über cool band do exactly what is expected.
It’s a hard thing to do but sometimes you just have to put the track listing... 1. 2. 3. 4.
"Neon Knights" - Anthrax "The Last In Line" - Tenacious D "The Mob Rules" - Adrenaline Mob "Rainbow In The Dark" - Corey Taylor, Roy
Mayorga, Satchel, Christian Martucci, Jason Christopher 5. "Straight Through The Heart" - Halestorm
They pop out a bunch of well written, well played and famously produced songs that will have hair slicked back and hips shaking all over the world.
6. "Starstruck" - Motörhead with Biff Byford 7. "The Temple Of The King" - Scorpions 8. "Egypt (The Chains Are On)" - Doro 9. "Holy Diver" - Killswitch Engage 10. "Catch The Rainbow" - Glenn Hughes, Simon No inner suburb beer garden is going to be Wright, Craig Goldy, Rudy Sarzo, Scott Warren safe from the infectious beat of Under the 11. "I" - Oni Logan, Jimmy Bain, Rowan Rainbow. Robertson, Brian Tichy* You do know what’s under rainbows don’t you? 12. "Man On The Silver Mountain" - Rob Halford, Vinny Appice, Doug Aldrich, Jeff Pot’s of gold. Pilson, Scott Warren* This is a pot of gold. 13. "Ronnie Rising Medley (Featuring A I wonder if we’re the first review to make Light In The Black, Tarot Woman, Stargazer, that reference? Kill The King)" Metallica 14. "This Is Your Life" -Dio! Probably not. Ah well, damn fine album. The yipsters will love it and so will you.
Yeah, you know you want it!
OFF! Wasted Years Review: Shane Hilton
Dear Greg Ginn, Now I’ll be the to acknowledge the similarities between Black Flag and OFF! Both of you are named after insect repellents. Both bands have featured artwork by your brother Mr Raymond Pettibon. Hell, you and Keith used to play together in Black Flag! Although there is one discernable difference... Remember that horrible Black Flag album you brought out just a couple of months ago? Yeah, well it sucked harder than a politician in a meeting with a fucking mining company.
It just made me want to jump in a pit and let loose. Maybe even jump up onstage for a little bit of stage diving. Things get even better with the next song Red, White and Black. Man that guitar. It’s just straight down the line. Who would of thought that Dimitri Coats would play that sort of guitar almost as good as the motherfucker that invented that way of playing? Shit it’s just amazing. Listen Greg if you love music you’re going to love this album. I can’t recommend it enough.
OFF!s new album on the other hand is the schiznick... or is it the whiffle waffle?
I reckon if you had a bit of a listen to it that you might even be inspired to make something similar (by similar I actually mean decent)
Ah, I don’t know.
Anyway, that’s about it.
Let’s just say that’s its better than the
Since this isn’t out until April we thought
piece of shit that you put out.
that we would just whet your appetite a bit!
Have you listened to the OFF album yet?
I assure you Mr Ginn when it gets a it closer to getting out we will give it a proper review just so you know how good it is.
I bet you have and I bet you’re a bit on the jealous side aren’t you? One of my favourites is opener Void You Out. It really captures the kind of intensity that Black Flag used to be renowned for.
Enjoy contemporary irrelevance dude. Love Rock & Roll Magazine
Sydonia
Of Mice & Men
Reality Kicks
Restoring Force Review: Shane Hilton
Review: Strawb G Hetti
Ok, so we must confess to a little bit of bias When I was a kid my grandmother used to towards the band Sydonia. take my brothers to the speedway. We used to work with guitarist Sam Haycroft I occasionally went along but I stuck out cleaning a good old fashioned sticky carpet. like a sore thumb so usually I just stayed He was a sweet, intense and at times odd guy at home and watched the World Around Us. to work with. He was also shit at his job.
They used to mention weird shit like stock car racing which always made me think “Why would anyone want to watch something that’s
You’d be standing next to him doing whatever just standard? Shouldn’t we be aiming a bit he was meant to be doing while he would be higher?” chewing your ear off about his band Sydonia. That thought applies directly to this album. It was pretty obvious that nothing else in This isn’t a bad album but it’s not the world mattered. He directed all his particularly remarkable in the slightest. energy towards the band while we directed all our energies into doing his job. Guy shouts. Listening to this album makes us appreciate Loud guitar. the miniscule contribution we made to Intense drumming. Sydonia in letting Sam focus 100% of his Hardcore breakdowns. life on the band. This album is a lot like Sam himself except for the fact that the job he does with Sydonia is fucking superb.
We all know what it is because we’ve all heard it before.
For a band that trades in heaviness Reality Kicks is at times surprisingly sweet and emotional before they shift gears into the intense heaviness that you would expect.
and being in rages. Rah, rah, rah...
Sydonia may not be Australia’s biggest band but they’re probably a band full of some of Australia's best musicians. We can’t figure out how they never made the Soundwave bill...
It’s all about enemies and living in cages Look if you like listening to this sort of music you will love it. If you like a bit of diversity in your ear canal you’re probably not going to really give a shit about it. The speedway on the other hand is pretty fucking shit... I wonder whatever happened to the World Around Us? That was a great show.
Crosses
Dead City Ruins
Crosses
Dead City Ruins Review: Strawb G Hetti
Review: Strawb G Hetti
I had read about this little project of Chino This is RAWK! Moreno, Shaun Lopez and Chuck Doom and it Quintessential hard rock. was something I honestly thought it would Man! It’s got proper solos. send me to sleep. I hear anything to do with electronic and
Remember them?
rock and my first thought is “Oh, this is going to be fucking tragic”
They’re those things that used make you put your head back and air guitar the fucking night away.
No matter how hard you try to justify electronic and rock being mixed together you’re going to be wrong. There is no justification for it. It’s like vegemite and pineapple sandwiches. So before we go on any further lets get one thing straight... This album has nothing to do with rock & roll. Zip. This is it’s own beast. That being said I didn’t fall asleep.
Dead City Ruins do them! They don’t mind getting a bit on the epic side either. Opener Hapenzella clocks in at 6 minutes and 52 seconds of pure unadulterated pleasure. Broken Bones is the track that turns this album into something more than just another hard rock album. It hints at just how good this band can and will be.
I even found myself actively listening.
Both guitarists just nail every single track on the album.
This album is full of little nuances all
They’re gutsy blues based rock and roll
layered together to make the kind of synthy makes this album worth every cent you’ll spend on it. goodness that could lead to a story on A Current Affair about the dangers of ecstasy. This is an album with lots of guitar, lots of fucking awesome tunes and lots of rock & The production levels are second to none. roll! They prove just how important producers can be. Just listen to the every vocal track and What else do you want? you will know what I’m talking about. All in all a damn fine record!
now we know who bought the second album
Dum Dum Girls Too True Review: Shane Hilton
The Dum Dum Girls... This is a bit hit and miss. On the whole it’s not a bad listen but the most enjoyable tracks are those that sound like Chrissy Hynde wrote them (see Are You
we can make some as well!” (that’s right Sub Pop we’re onto you) That’s a shame because the album suffers for it. Now, of course this isn’t the first rodeo for
OK?).
Dum Dum Girls.
We know it’s probably a bit chauvinistic to compare the music of one female to another but if you’re going record music that’s a bit derivative at times someone has to pull you on it no matter what your genitalia is.
They’ve got a stack of albums and EP’s under there fringes (See we didn’t say hat but made a reference to how they all have fringes... We’re writers! Bad writers but still writers damn it!)
Still, this is worth the listen.
It just seems that this full length album is a bit too much.
Little Minx is the kind of track that’s going to drag you in and thump away. It’s a bit on It’s not fully realised. the glossy side but that’s probably got more Still there is the odd gem. to do with the production than anything Opener Cult of Love has a pretty darkness else. with some ace surfy guitar that flows right The production is awful. over the top of a beautifully crafted gloomy At one point there’s even a mobile phone bass line. going off in the mix (OK it could be a In The Wake Of You, despite the shit xylophone but who knows... It only happens production, is as well written a song as once in the song... Have a listen and see if anything else you’re going to come across. you pick up where and when) Little Minx just is about the only song that It’s the kind of production that record benefits from the production. It’s dirty pop labels want when they smell a little bit of and Dee Dee’s always top notch vocalising cash. shifts it into the kind of sphere that’s “Oh, they’re really attractive girls writing always evident on their EP’s. proper pop music... Haim made a lot of cash... Let’s make it as disco as can be and see if
Things Were Better In ‘77 the Albums That You Should Have listened to In High School But Didn’t Because You Weren’t
The Eastern Dark Where Are All The Single Girls? Review: Shane Hilton
This is an album I have to listen to every single morning.
This is essentially a collection of everything they did in a studio.
It’s nothing to with some sort of weird obsessive compulsive disorder or anything like that.
Julie is a Junkie and Johnny and Dee Dee are the type of double punch that leaves people either drunk or simply amazed at the
amount of talent these three oozed when There’s a certain member of our household they got together. that times there shower based on this album. If there’s any need for the confirmation of And yes! the greatness of James Darroch and his Our water bills are fucking massive! songwriting there’s no need to look any further than Walking. This is just one of those things that is a must in any record collection. It’s an Australian classic. To be precise it’s compilation of a couple of Australian classics that was released in the year 2000. The Eastern Dark never released a full EP. Their career, much like their music, was a short and furious blast of near perfection Lead singer James Darroch was killed in a car accident that also saw drummer Geoff Milne and bassist Bill Gibson hospitalised.
If there ever was a dirty refrain that conjures up images of days past when the inner suburbs of every city was a place for misfits and losers this is the song. This is an album that you will love no matter what kind of music you prefer top listen to! It’s also an album that makes you think just what these guys would’ve done if real tragedy hadn’t of gotten in the way. Just don’t listen to it in the shower.
Fred Astereo
Nirvana
I Love You
Nevermind Review: Shane Hilton
Review: Strawb G Hetti
We’ve been threatening ourselves with doing this with every issue we’ve done.
We’re pretty sure everyone in high school listened to this album at some stage.
This, ladies & gentlemen, is Fred Astereo.
Nirvana have been mythologised to the point that you forget just how good of a band they really were.
Fred plays some of the most awesome pop music you’re ever going to come across! Lyrically the only thing touching this guy is probably himself. For example “Now I know this isn’t fulfilling I like working with the blind So, if you see me with another girl You can bet she won’t see you!”
There is a reason why this album is always popping up as one of the most influential albums of all time. That reason is pretty simple. It really is one of the most influential albums of all time. How many bands have we got just off some kid sitting in their bedroom listening to it and thinking “Hell, this is what I want to do?”
And that probably isn’t even the best example... There’s a song about running over pigeons that still haunts my brain whenever A whole fucking heap. I think of it. Of course it isn’t cool to like them anymore. And then there’s the syrupy goodness of the music. Boy, is it sweet.
But good music is good music and you’re not going to get much better than this.
It’s just one of those albums some guy made There’s not one song on this album that isn’t because that’s what he felt like doing at the considered a classic. It’s a real album. time and isn’t it lucky for us. Something you can listen too from start to We have no idea if you can still get it. finish and it never gets old. You might be lucky and be able to get it off the iTunes. We have no idea. But we can’t recommend it enough.
Don’t fall for the bullshit re-issues either. There’s 12 tracks.
That’s all you need. Plus, if you buy it he might buy us a beer or Look at that not one ‘Hole’ joke! two!
THE IDIOT HAS TAKEN OVER I said I was going to go on a rant didn’t I? That I did. Strap yourselves in people.... AJ Maddah.
Why should we support a festival that chooses not to support home grown talent? The bands are out there.
The guy is a promoter.
They’re just waiting to get exposed to a bigger audience who will go “Well, fuck me! They blew everyone off the stage?”
Nothing more than snake oil salesman.
But no. AJ doesn’t like them.
So why the fuck do people think he’s relevant?
Why?
Well, he’s not.
Because he is nothing but a wannabe who hangs off the genitals of people greater than him. He’s the worst kind of groupie. The kind that don’t fuck!
It’s a name that you hear too fucking often.
The fact is he has used someone else's music to turn himself into some sort of celebrity. In other words he really wanted to be a rock star but he just didn’t have the chops... But I bet he had at least 3 large pizzas, a couple of 2 litre bottles of Coke and a happy meal or 10 for his morning tea!
And we’re are the people calling him on his shit? The way to keep this industry strong is to support, not just international talent, but Australian talent as well.
Now, before any of you start bitching because I’m But all we get from the music media is silence making fun of his weight problem go take a look and one side of the story (AJ’s) because he might at the way he describes the partners of people buy some advertising? he has a problem with. Get off his dick and stop acting like corporate The cunt will be treated as he treats others. shrills. Where’s the outcry from you fucks who So he made himself famous off the back of other are so happy to take a stab at JJJ for there peoples talent. lack of support for Australian artists? No biggie. Just like a bag of aniseed flavoured treats it takes all sorts. I actually admire the job the majority of promoters do. They put a shit load of cash on the line to put bands on for us to watch! Hell, who couldn’t respect that? But then you have the rare specimen like Mr AJ Maddah... Now, what the fuck has he really done for Australian music lately? The answer is “Not fucking much” or “Nothing at all” The thing that set me off on this little rant was after the latest batch of Soundwave cancellations He Who Is A Douche got on his little Twitter account to carry on like the cunt that he is (look on the other page for just 2 examples of his dickheadedness! This guy has zero respect for Australian music. None whatsoever.
What’s that? JJJ doesn’t advertise! Well, fuck me drunk! I know we probably sound like a broken record but fuck! We want to see a strong, thriving, local scene and unless everyone gets on board it isn’t going to happen. The fact that this idiot runs the biggest festival proves nothing but the vast majority of people are just as stupid as he is. If you have a belief that everyone should do as much as they can to support the bands out there playing in venues every week then I say vote with your feet, vote with your mouths and vote with your actions. Don’t go to his fucks gigs no matter how much you love the band. If you tell them that you won’t go to anything he promotes, believe me, they will find someone else to bring them out. Most importantly tell everyone you know just what a wasteland the local scene will be unless the local bands get a shot at these festivals.
Use your initiative. Yet here are all these fucking tossers out there handing over money to the fucking parasite (an Rock & Roll motherfuckers. organism which lives in or on another organism Shane Hilton (its host) and benefits from deriving nutrients Editor at the others expense) Rock & Roll Magazine The above is the only argument we need to make.
WE LIKE ALL KINDS OF MUSIC EVEN AUSTRALIAN MUSIC www.rockandrollmagazine.com