Kevin Haas - ROCKFORD'S CLASS CLOWN

As a kid, Kevin Haas wasn’t exactly a troublemaker, but he could get loud in his pursuit of attention.

That is, until his fifth-grade teacher struck a deal with the future writer.

“We reached an agreement that if I could keep quiet through class, she would give me a couple of minutes at the end to deliver my jokes. I don’t remember what I said, but I crushed it,” he said.

Haas is a graduate of Boylan High School and the University of Illinois. He spent 20 years at the Rockford Register Star and now serves as editor and writer for the Rock River Current, an online news site from Mid-West Family Broadcasting that covers local news and events.

Haas’s wry sense of humor shines through in his writing, especially in the headlines. Recently, he wrote a story about one specific broken letter in the Rockford sign at Davis Park. The headline read, “What the F is wrong with the Rockford sign?”

Haas began dabbling in stand-up comedy about 10 years ago. His first gig was an open mic night. Now he performs about five times a month, mostly around town but also in Milwaukee, Chicago and Peoria.

Haas says he’s more of a storyteller who makes observations about life, especially his job in the news business. What you won’t hear are any jokes about politics or airplane food.

Haas enjoys making people laugh but has no plans to give up his day job.

“The only way to pursue comedy full-time is to live a road dog lifestyle, and I’ve never been comfortable with that,” he said. “I need my paycheck.”