Rock Receiver issue1

#01 AUGUST 2012

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Welcome to the very first edition of Rock Receiver. This magazine brings you tour bus talk with two of rocks finest guitarists, Zoltan Bathory and Keri Kelli, as well as a feature about Britain’s loudest and baddest rock band, Motorhead. Check out the reviews from the latest albums and coverage of the most exciting shows.

welcome

Catch up with our resident interviewer, Clare Fletcher, Rock Chick Presenter, who has access all areas to bring you the lowdown on all things rock and roll. And meet Delores Penhalligon Shoebury who is ‘rocking all over the world’ in her quest to meet Status Quo. Our tuition edition will give all you budding muso’s an online lesson in guitar, bass and drums to improve your technique. And if you want to upgrade your Strat type guitar, then read on my friends.

We bring you everything from hardcore to metal to pop and to punk; all the best and most exciting music around.

Dive in, indulge, enjoy....

And let the good times rock and roll.

Rock Receiver is produced by a team of musicians, journalists and reporters with experience in the Music Industry.

Editor: Suki Beaumont

Contributors:

RockChick Presenter: Clare Fletcher

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Henry Wallace Darren ‘Jiff’ Godfrey Chas De Lacey Tim Atkinson Kylie Macfarlane Leonard Hunter Jeff Hurn

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s t n e t con 2012 #01 AUGUST

REGULARS

features

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02 Ready To Rock!

04 Nik Kershaw, Forever Brilliant 10 Gear & Gizmos - Upgrading Your Strat 14 Gear & Gizmos - You Two Timing Bast**rd 16 WWLD? - What Would Lemmy Do? 21 Welcome To Rock Receiver

Quo Chasing with Delores Penhaligon Shoebury Rockchick Presenter with...

Francis Rossi Launch Pad Tuition Edition

Rockoscopes Album Reviews Merchandise

- Guitar - Bass - Drums

Keri Kelli Festivhell!

Paul Geary Motorhead 10th Anniversary Zoltan Five Finger Death Punch Summers in the South

06 08 12 18 24 30

27 28 32 34 41 42 44 Rock RecEIver Magazine

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! k c o R o t y d a e R REGULAR - news

ALICE COOPER

Alice Cooper evokes mania cal mayhem with inspiration fro m his albums fo r Halloween H orror nights at Uni versal Studios in Flor ida and Californ ia.

REM Peter Buck (g uitarist) anno unced his forthcoming solo album a few months ago, with the single “10 Mill ion BC�. The new release can be heard at w w w.remhq .com/news.ph p.

Peter has also brought to th e REM audience a fe stival called To dos Santos, and why he ad mires it.

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His version of a dark subcon scious will come to life in the haunted maze.

Welcome to my nightmare in deed.

SABBATH

n his ow ake set up ities have f n w o n r s b ca a le h is e i any c t as th Iomm Tony account! M by fans, bu h guitarist r d at Twitte s registere Black Sabb count of nt ac e n a p accou lematic, th u o set b t o d r e p be decid s nally e new has fi . xclusiv guitarists n e w e o e s his o ut s to e d ab w fan ill allo e most talk r y. w is h T ntu f th one o nd 21st ce from d at: th a 1 0 2 e foun c an b of the t n u cco itter a His Tw

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A few min Chinese d or technic A xel who emocrac released al b ugs w to be work y a while ill have pleased! ed out, fr ago must esh voice effected be s, not yet by road fa tigue, ma best appe Chinese D de for the arances e e mocracy, ither ban an album the Bristo despite m d h as h a d that w, VA ven any years at ue in yea and millio p o u n d rs s ns of . sp e n Surely to t o n it , fl opped cri be a stun Of course ning tour, tically. it was bo hop e no but let’s ju ught by ro fights wil eager to st ck fans l break ou hear the n t! e w album, bu est Guns ‘n’ Roses t most re port simply wa s not up to s claim that it scratch.

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feature - KERI KELLI

KERI I L L KE h t i w r u o t n o r e p o o C e c i l A p u g n i h c t a c with Clare Fletcher

Keri looks every bit the rock star with his two tone long hair and his ripped attire. He has a youthful appearance and a playful energy. He has certainly made his mark on the American rock music scene over the last ten years; playing with the likes of Slash, Skid Row, Vince Neil, Ratt and more recently the godfather of shock rock, Alice Cooper. Last November he joined 8 piece Russian band ‘Pushking’ who are set to release an album, which includes featured artists, and tour later this year.

Keri Kelli joined the Alice Cooper band in 2006 until 2011. He last played with

Singer, the drummer in the band, and they possibly needed a guitarist to fill in for the show. It turned out that they didn’t need a guitarist at that point (2000) but a few years later Brian Nelson, Alice’s long time assistant, asked me along and we jammed and they asked me to join. When I joined the band they were in the middle of the tour. They had the whole production down so I had to learn 27 songs in a few days. I seem to be the go- to dude!

It worked out well. I had a lot of fun.

Alice is a great guy; very down to earth.

EVERY DAY I ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT’S GONNA COME UP. Alice at a one off show at the Montreal ‘Show Harley’ motorcycle event on January 28th this year, filling in for current guitarist Orianthi. I caught up with Keri when he played at the Brighton Centre and we talked about life on the road.

How did the Cooper gig come about?

I had known the guys , my friend Eric

He is a rock icon. Does that differ from other people you have worked with?

I’ve been fortunate to play with a lot of great musicians. I played with Slash for a while on Snakepit and he is a great player, Vince Neil from Motley (Crue)for a while and Skid Row. I’m a kid trying my best. Slash is a great friend of mine.

He is the biggest guitar player in the world it seems like these days.

Is there a difference being in a Rock Theatre Tour. Are there restrictions for you with that kind of choreographed show?

Some parts of the show. Alice has never said to me or any of the other guys not to do anything but there are certain elements in the Alice production that are feature parts. Like when he is getting killed. We know what’s going on. If Alice is throwing swords around the stage you don’t really want to be right there either. In general Alice says go out and do it, so it’s cool.

You use Diamond Amps, the SpitFire 2. How do you Find them?

I find them in my mail box! I met Jeff down at the studio and I had my Marshalls there, and he said you should try it. I said let me try that amp that that guy was talking about and I tried them and went damn, this thing sounds pretty good! They have a lot of punch and are tight sounding. For me they are awesome. I was the first man ever to play them. I had the prototype amp. I think they are cool. I think that especially for Alice we really try to get that more classic sound.

I like to just turn it on ten and go for it!

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Tell me a bit more about the other artists that you have worked with over the years.

I’m always doing something! There’s always different projects, and I’m working on something, or even filling in. That Slash thing, I was out in Vegas and I got a text message and it was from Slash and he said ‘Hey what are you doing next week, you wana jam with me?’ I said sure, what ‘s the deal? Me, Slash, Chris Cheney on bass.

We jammed with all the singers and the finalists of American Idol. They picked the song which was wild as they chose ‘Schools Out’ for the live show. We were rocking it. I just wait for the phone to ring.

You have a pretty busy schedule on tour.

We tour for six or seven months of the year. We tour the show for a couple of years.

When I get back to LA we’ll take a few months off, then rehearse one time and go and tour it next year. I love to play. I enjoy doing it. It’s what I do for a living. Better than just sitting in the house.

You also have a bar in Las Vegas called ‘Aces and Ales’ I was always into beer I guess and it was always a pipe dream of mine to have my own bar, and the opportunity came up and it’s a place we can drink free beer and get free food. We’ve got 14 draft beers. We have 30-40 different bottles on all the time.

We were doing 3 nights out in Vegas and I talked to Coop and I said maybe we could do a jam in the bar. At midnight the place was packed. There were 500 people packed in. It was crazy. He liked that and I liked that and everyone had a great time.

Alice said ‘wow, that was great’.

What are you ambitions for the future?

All things considered, every day I just roll with the punches. You never know what’s gonna come up. I’ve been doing it for a long time it seems, at this level since 97, but I had 10 or 12 years before that sleeping on floors and eating rice. I try my best and do the best job I can. I’m having fun.

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feature - FESTIVHELL

FestivHell We will soon be experiencing the fun and frolics of the summer festival scene, and whilst we look forward to a weekend of music, music and more music there can sometimes be annoying factors that disrupt the excitement.

Car Park Madness The queuing, the redirection, only to encounter more queuing, the careful art of carrying of your tent, whilst safely guarding your possessions, whilst clutching your rucksack , holdall or luggage, and to avoid losing your balance and toppling ungracefully A over T into stinking gooey mud.

Pitching tent

And just when you think it can’t get any worse, you have to negotiate a space which is near enough to the main festival site but far away enough to avoid drunken people falling onto your tent on their journey back at night.

Do we really need a degree in tent orientation? It seems that even ‘simple’ pop-up tents have their fair share of difficulty.

Poles to feed into tiny designated spacers on the canvas, which collapse from their perfect arc just when you think you have the outer shell in position.

Then there are the guy ropes which get tangled as you attempt to hammer in the pegs into what is usually a soggy earth, after months of ‘summer rain,’ which does not want to receive them.

WE LIVE IN BRITAIN. ENOUGH SAID. 8

Rock RecEIver Magazine

PHOTO: www.lyricloungereview.co.uk

Annoying neighbours

It is nice to make friends at festivals. Surely part of the fun is the oneness of the experience? The floating on a wave of shared experience and joy.

Why is it then, that after socialising with your new neighbours, or shall we call them, camp buddies, for all of 5 minutes you become so irritated by their presence that if you could muster up the energy, then you would undoubtedly move to a new space..if there was any space but there isn’t because every field is rammed.

Too much too soon After weeks of anticipation and careful planning, the excitement of being free from the restraints of bricks and mortar, and feeling giddy on outdoor life, along with cheap boxes of lager that are consumed in a crazy frenzy invariably results in an all-day hang over where your over indulgence means you miss the very band you had been looking forward to seeing. And vomiting under canvas is never a pleasant thing.

toilet facilities

Day one, fine. This is OK. I can deal with it. Toilet paper, minimal queues.

Day five, gag reflex control. Safer to s*** in the woods.

Food

There is the usual variety of whole food and world cuisine. But in the real world we would be horrified to pay £4 for a carton of chips.

After all, it is just a potato!

But when you are having the time of your life, it seems completely reasonable to pay extortionate amounts for filthy fried food after waiting for ages to be served, then ignored, then eventually served, and we mustn’t forget that the customer service is to die for!

That is if you haven’t already got food poisoning.

Litter

Is it unreasonable to use a rubbish bin? It is when you are in a field crammed full of people, and you are fixed to the spot waiting for your favourite band to play.

Good old fashioned ‘chuck it on the floor; someone will clear up my mess’ syndrome is what kicks in at this point.

Finding your way back to camp

‘Show me the way to go home, I’m tired and I want to go to bed’…….

Hold on, all these tents look the same!

Weather

We live in Britain. Enough said.

Rock RecEIver Magazine

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REGULAR - Nik Kershaw - Forever brilliant

w a h s r e K Nirkever Brilliant - Fo

Some NK lyrics...

Name that song: The first person to email in the correct answers will win a RR t-shirt.

“Near a tree by a river, there’s a hole in the ground” “Oh, you beautiful thing, oh you wonderful marvellous thing.”

“It’s my party, I don’t have to impress, I don’t have to try to hard.”

“With your symmetry teeth and your Californian tan, I mean to tell you that you ain’t no superman” “How I wish I could call you, I just want to hear your voice”

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Photo courtesy of www.nikkershaw.net/

Nik Kershaw is a pop music icon... who can play a mean guitar, and knows a thing or two about penning chart topping hits.

He has recently been playing retro festivals with other eighties pop heroes including T’Pau, Midge Ure, Toyah and Rick Astley. His new album is due for imminent release; entitled ‘Ei8ht’ because, you have guessed it, it is his eighth album! He will be touring with a full band in September performing songs from ‘Ei8ht’ as well as playing the entire ‘Human Racing’ album, which was his 1984 debut, and re-released in February this year. The re-release includes rare bonus tracks and has been digitally re-mastered.

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Did you know NK....... »»

Played Live Aid in 1985

»»

Wrote ‘The One and Only’. That song that Chesney Hawkes shot to fame with in the 90’s. We love to sing it, but we hate that we can’t get it out of our heads!

»»

Is mates with Sir Elton John

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Has an acoustic solo album called ‘No Frills’ and it is actually very good!

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Has various pseudonyms! (spot it on the aforementioned album)

»»

Is a musical genius and perfectionist

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A bloody nice bloke!

Tim Atkinson

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feature - PAUL GEARY

K C O R L O O H SC big BASS big PERSONALITY,

I happened upon a ‘Rock School’ that Paul Geary, bassist to the stars, was a guest artist at. Let’s cut straight to the chase; Paul’s bass of choice is a custom built personalised ‘Overwater’ bass. He is also endorsed by Rotosound strings, Doug Wimbish’s favourite strings, and he plays through Eden amps. Top equipment all round then!

Reporter Clare Fletcher Location Various, UK More info: www.paulgeary.com

The ‘Rock School’s’ are held in various locations around the country and offer the opportunity for people of all ages to be involved in learning how to play an instrument and gain advice and guidance from industry professions. So, Geary is just the man for this as he boasts a very impressive list of artists that he has strutted his stuff for. This includes George Michael, Lisa Stansfield, Gabrielle, Jools Holland, Sophie Ellis Bexter, Mary J. Blige and the one and only (pun intended!) Nik Kershaw.... more about Mr Kershaw later.

The ‘Rock School’ day kicked off with Geary demonstrating basic bass warm up exercises which swiftly moved onto scales. The next section was a chance to investigate different bassist styles and techniques and how they fit into different music genres.

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Footage of bass legends at work were shown and a Q and A forum followed. There were lots of discussions to be had including ‘Who is the best bassist on Earth?’ Either living or dead is acceptable.

Answers on a postcard.....!

After bassists from varying degrees of fame, fortune and style were scrutinised, Paul moved onto the Gear demo section including effects pedals. A favourite part of the students’ day I later learned. It is amazing the sounds that can come out of these little things!

This was the chance for the practical work to really get underway and for the musicians to play. A recipe for success in my book! Paul plays like a master; his custom made bass fits him like a favourite jumper and he clearly is lost without it! Some might say he even looks a bit naked without it about his person!

His ego clearly enjoyed performing his bass riffs to an overwhelmed and appreciative audience. “I want to play like that.” and “Teach me how to do that thing you do”, were comments that followed by the eager learners. Surely it’s all in a day’s work?

Well, luckily, the final part of the day’s session was

WHO IS THE BEST BASSIST ON EARTH? EITHER LIVING OR DEAD IS ACCEPTABLE

all about learning songs and the song of choice was a personal favourite of mine; only Nik Kershaw’s, ‘Wouldn’t it be Good’.

Fantastic! And not only did Mr Geary teach the bass parts but he also gave the student’s a chance to perform it in front of the big screen along with a virtual (and definitely bigger) Kershaw. Fun times!

As Paul has worked for a number of years as an extremely talented session musician to many top artists, I had to enquire who his favourite was. Paul replied, “It’s got to be Nik Kershaw, but he is also the hardest!”

Paul is the longest reigning member of Nik’s full band. I am a big Kershaw fan and followed his acoustic tour, which had all the perfect ingredients for an extraordinary night etched on the brain for some years.

I last saw the full band line up at Fairport’s Cropredy Convention in 2009, and boy, they went down a storm. I commandeered the front row using my best elbow technique, and was with them all the way. Nik has difficult arrangements and

I understand that he is hard task master, but by being every bit the perfectionist, he presents a higher level of musicianship and that gig rocked! Such a memorable day, the weather, the vibe and the sound was the best. Paul’s slap bass riffs on ‘I won’t let the sun go down on me’ had a legendary status reminiscent of Mark King. Never

underestimate the power of the Kershaw. If you are missing out and think he is an old eighties has-been then you are foolish and mistaken!

After Paul’s ‘Rock School’ day ended, I had a chat to the ‘rock stars in the making’ to see what they had gotten from the experience and the feedback was all positive. They embraced the chance to express themselves creatively whilst under the expert direction of musicians in the business, who prepare you for the highs as well as the possible pitfalls. What it gave them was a chance to gain a realistic insight as to the qualities you need to succeed in an extremely competitive and nocturnal industry! Paul demonstrated that you can become successful if you work hard at your craft and he encouraged the learners to achieve their goals. And ‘Wouldn’t it be Good’, I think so!

Rock RecEIver Magazine

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REGULAR - gear and gizmos

g n i d a r g p U t a r t S r u yo To upgrade a Strat copy, particularly if you have a relatively inexpensive model, there are various useful things you can do. Pickups are an obvious change to make, but could be expensive. If you’re after that traditional classic Strat sound typical of older models, then you’ll need to fit similar spec. pickups to those models, which would be alnico magnet (Alnico is a mix of Aluminium, Nickel and Cobalt). I can’t think of any cheaper models that would come with such pickups – they would be fitted with ceramic magnet pickups.

These pickups usually have a bar magnet along the underside with steel pole pieces.

With alnico pickups the pole pieces are normally the magnets, and when you look at the underside you will see the individual pole pieces as you would on top. The most obvious difference in sound between these pickups is that the alnico pickups will sound warmer and richer, whereas the ceramic magnet ones sound more brittle by comparison. I should say at this point that there are some extremely good expensive pickups made with ceramic magnets, and mustn’t be looked at in the same light as the cheap ones. Bear in mind that the makers of the budget end guitars are concerned about cost.

When you look at pickup prices, that will tell you a lot. Having said that, there are some vintage style alnico 5 magnet Strat pickups available for within £30 (such as Giovanni etc.) that are excellent value for money and great for upgrading on a budget.

I’ve done many such upgrades in the workshop for customers. If cost isn’t an issue, then pickups from the likes of Fender, Lace, Seymour Duncan and many more upmarket pickup manufacturers are always

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While you’ve got your soldering iron out...

available. The choice seems endless from these makers, but if you’re after that original Strat sound go with their ‘vintage’ versions.

Interestingly some Mexican and Japanese Fender models are fitted with ceramic magnet pickups, which can benefit from an upgrade to alnico, whereas they’ve recently introduced some more upmarket Squier ‘Classic Vibe’ models that have Alnico as standard equipment. Many other things about a guitar will affect it’s tone – body and neck woods, and other hardware, but the pickup change will be a straightforward job with very obvious results.

While you’ve got your soldering iron out, consider an upgrade to the electrics generally. There are kits on the market

normally within £30 that will contain all the parts you’d need including a wiring diagram.

I would recommend using USA components such as a selector switch by CRL or Oak, CTS pots, Switchcraft jack socket, Sprague orange drop capacitors and vintage cloth wire. (All of these items are or have been used by Fender apart from the cap which is an improvement). Normally a Strat would use 250k audio log pots and a .047uf capacitor.

The thing about these components is that the pots and capacitor will have an obvious effect on sound and tone, but importantly all of these items are high quality and will work well and reliably and all help to improve general performance. You’ll be amazed how

skimpy some of the budget electrics are, and you’ll feel much better seeing these new quality items fitted! When fitting USA pots you’ll most likely have to enlarge the holes a bit in the scratchplate – easy job with a round file.

There are other interesting things you can do with your guitar electrics such as switching modifications for different sounds, but we’ll talk about that another time…

Written by Chas de Lacy

Rock RecEIver Magazine

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REGULAR - YOU TWO TIMING BASTD

O W T U O Y D R * * T S A TIMING B Product review of the Two Timer Dual Analogue Delay Pedal Manufactured by BBE A first glance at the packaging and its slightly retro look and styling of the graphics, I feel invited to open the box up and have a peek at this cheekily advertised pedal. As I open the box there is a mirror of the retro look and graphics about its appearance. I see four shiny knobs and two switches and I can see that it looks like a nice robust dual delay pedal. Check it out at www.bbesound.com!

Yup, a dual analogue delay! With a true hand wired bypass, it comes with a five year warranty and is powered by a 9V battery or power supply - which it doesn’t come with in the UK.

Anyway enough of that, what does the BBE Two Timer actually do?

Not only can you switch your delay on or off but it gives total control over two different independent delay settings with two time settings, a repeat and mix knob plus an on or off switch, plus the choice of Time 1 or Time 2 i.e. delay setting 1 or 2.

You know how it is as you play out a verse or chorus but then comes the middle eight or a nice solo opportunity and it isn’t quite right with the same old delay setting still being used. So, you appear to dance as you switch off one pedal and hot foot over to the other pedal to balance the delay sound to where you want for your epic middle eight or solo.

But not with the Two Timer! With its double setting you can select either Time 1 or Time 2 at the push of a switch, your repeater and mix setting, preset by you for your middle eight or solo, will deliver to you the right sound.

So there will be no need to stamp around like some crazed ant murderer, which is a bit off putting when you are just before cutting from your first delay sound into your best solo with your second delay sound.

The Two Timer also feels quite robust using it and being stamped on and kicked around the studio for hours upon hours it seems no worse for wear nor did it seem to complain.

To conclude, if you are looking to buy or replace your delay pedal, this one is worth shelling your hard earned cash out on. It is gig worthy, studio friendly and I just love the way that you can cheekily change into an instant Two Timer with two delays on the one foot switch.

By Jiff Godfrey

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Rock RecEIver Magazine

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feature - MOTORHEAD

The 10th Anniversary Concert 29th June 1985 Hammersmith Odeon London It was with great excitement that I boarded the train to London with my friend Keith Jackson to go to this long anticipated show. I had been unable to sleep the night before as I was literally so nervous with anticipation. I had no idea that I would meet Wurzel for the first time that night and I couldn’t have dreamed that years later he would have become a great friend and that I would play in a band with him. (Miss you my Friend).

We arrived at Hammersmith in the early afternoon and there was already a growing horde of fans milling around the Odeon, all eagerly awaiting the night’s entertainment. The fan club were handing out 10th Anniversary badges which I managed to get and I still have to this day, they are now a rare item on E bay.

It seemed an eternity before the show started and the atmosphere was electric. They launched into Iron Fist with Wurzel and Phil Campbell standing on top of their Marshall stacks and walking down onto the stage to join Lemmy. Straight into Stay Clean and Heart of Stone they were on top form with this new 4 piece line up that had only been in existence for just over a year. The crowd had accepted them and taken them to their hearts in super quick time.

The new 4 piece band’s songs such as Killed by Death were instant hits back them and are now classics in the massive Motorhead back catalogue.

The gig continued relentlessly with all the classics being given an airing including a special version of “Road crew”, with all the crew onstage with the band joining in with Lemmy and the boys.

No Class featured Wendy O’ Williams who had been the support

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act and also of course recorded with Lemmy in the famous sessions that led to Fast Eddie leaving 3 years previously. Ace of Spades, Overkill, they kept on coming.

Could it get any better, well this is Motorhead so of the course the answer is yes. We were treated to a version of Motorhead with every member of Motorhead that had ever been in the band except Larry Wallis. This meant another kit being brought on for Philthy as Pete Gill was now on drums, Phil Lynott from Thin Lizzy also joined the band (sadly he died a few months later). It was utterly awesome and the video that was released afterwards really doesn’t do it any justice.

We all sang Happy Birthday and a great big cake was wheeled on and two girls covered in glitter burst out. I managed to retrieve a bit of the cake which was Reporter made of polystyrene as a memento.

Ears ringing we ventured to the stage door and managed to meet most of the band and support acts, it was an unbelievable night that will forever be etched in my memory. They are still going and I can only thank my lucky stars that my favourite band of all time are still rocking and show no signs of stopping.

Tim Atkinson Location Hammersmith, UK More info: www.imotorhead.com

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REGULAR - WWLD?

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D L WW d l u o W t a h W Lemmy Do?

The rock godfather has the best advice and guidance on planet rock.

Check out the merch page for a WWLD? wristband to show your love for the legend!

Fashion......

‘It’s not that I take a pride in being unfashionable. It’s just that I’ve gotten used to it. I do it rather well now. I’ve been practicing for a long time. 1996

Alcohol......

I try to do a bottle a day. (Jack Daniels) Whether I

need it or not. 1998

Sobriety......

War......

I did that once in 1975. I didn’t like it. 2005

‘Getting to travel around the world and bring joy to people is not the worst job in the world. It’s better than spraying napalm on children, and they give you a medal for that.’ 1996

Politics......

I don’t agree with any politician. I think they’re all c**ts. Tony fu**ing smiley Blair – he’s just the same c**nt as c**nt. His suit’s different, that’s all.’ 1998

(Photo by Robert John) Rock RecEIver Magazine

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feature - ZOLTAN BATHORY

n a t Zol

h c n u P h t a e D r e g n i F e Fiv Tour Bus Talk They have just hit a facebook fanbase of 2 million knuckleheads.

They rocketed to success after forming in 2006, with their first two albums, ‘The Way of the Fist’ and ‘War is the Answer’ gaining Gold status. Currently headlining the ‘Trespass America’ tour and with their third album, ‘American Capitalism’ under their Kung Fu belts, ‘ Five Finger Death Punch’ are now firmly established as one of the most aggressive yet melodic heavy metal bands.

This is the first track on the album isn’t it?

I first met dread locked guitarist, Zoltan Bathory in November 2009 when they played the ‘Electric Ballroom’. The following June I saw him play at Metal Hammers Golden Gods, where the band won ‘Breakthrough Artist’ and Zoltan won the coveted ‘Dimebag Darrell Shredder Award’. The plug was pulled during their infamous 2010 Download festival uber mosh during the song, ‘Dying Breed’ where they invited their fans up onto the stage!

What about ‘ No one gets left behind?’.

After arriving in the UK ready for his London show at the Electric Ballroom; still recovering from the boat journey, I asked Zoltan how he was feeling: Vertigo! Vertigo Vertigo! The world is spinning! But I am alive!

How do you find the UK crowd?

They are Moshpits out of hell. We always prided ourselves in America of having great moshpits but the UK fans are absolutely crazy.

We don’t have enough time to shake everyone’s hand when we are on tour, so in ‘Dying Breed’ this is a chance to come up and crowd surf to say hi.

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When you look at an album it has to be a piece of art. You have to have the right ingredients. The album had a lot of ballads and soft songs and it just didn’t feel right. We said we need one more heavy one. It was the one we recorded last but felt it should be the first track.

That was my favourite song as I have always been a fan of people who serve in the military; the individual soldiers who serve in the army. We have tried to honour that as much as we can. Our lives

with a broken hand it’ s pretty difficult to play guitar

Reporter Clare Fletcher Location Various, UK More info: www.fivefingerdeathpunch.com

are not exposed to those kind of elements and that kind of danger.

NGLB is an old marine saying. We have a lot of fans in the military. If you see a moshpit with marines in, oh my god!

Do you have a favourite track on the album?

Li from ‘Dragonforce’, we were touring together; he is a jujitsu guy so we would train every day. I have a room in my house dedicated to training; that is my negotiation room. I don’t really have time to seriously train anymore because with a broken hand it is pretty difficult to play guitar.

‘No one gets left behind’. That would be my favourite track on the album. Dying Breed would be my second.

Your band is named after a Vintage Kung Fu movie.

Any special moments from the tour so far?

The Moshpit crowds! Every concert you play has a different kind of crowd. Each tour has different fans and behaviour. Scandanavian fans are more quiet; they listen to the music and watch what you play. It is an interesting thing to watch how they react. They are very musical. Every crowd is different. They are looking at your fingers and the solos you are playing. They want to learn. The UK fans are here to party. They get their balls out! They are here to rock out! As long as no one gets left behind!

You are into your martial arts aren’t you?

The best martial arts skill is to avoid fights. No one really wins a fight.

Do you train most days?

When I am on tour it is pretty difficult, even though I am trying to throw my band mates around, but they are not up for it! I travel with my judo mats and train whenever I can, we have a couple of guys in the crew who I train with. Last summer I spent with Herman

The death punch is a legend that you can take out a guy with one punch. It is a recurring theme in Chinese Kung Fu movies. We wanted a band name that sticks out and is different. It is a pretty crazy name and I like the fact that it raises eyes brows.

Tell me about the Diamond Amp you use.

I use the Nitrox.I am looking for specific things when it comes to amplifiers. My style requires an amp that does what I want it to do.

It is a really high fi amplifier that is hand built; really fast riffs on the low end and every single note is there. On the low end the amplifier pulls much more power; you need really really strong transformers because the lower notes require more power from them, and if they are not strong enough then your tone gets muddy and can condense what you play and just chokes. This amp is a brutalizer!

The extreme brute power and the clarity is there with every single note. If you pay for a Ferrari then you get a Ferarri. It is not a cheap amp. It is sheer power!

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REGULAR - quo chasing

Quo Chasing with Delores Penhaligon Shoebury Hello all Quo fans, Delores here. I have been trying really hard once more to get to meet my idols, Ricky Parf and Frank Rossini. It has been an ongoing struggle to get to these shows I can tell you, and to be honest, I haven’t had a great deal of luck lately but it is so good to know that these guys are still going strong. I have been a Quo fan for years now and hopefully I still look the same as the first day I began Quo chasing back in January 1968 when ‘Pictures of Moonstick Men’ reached number 7 in the charts. It’s funny ‘caus e the band do look different. Frank’s hair is now short and I was hoping to tug onto that ponytail one day!

I took the ferry to Calais and then drove to Switzerland to get to the ‘Moon and Stars Festival’ for 6 July. It was a long old way and my escort was overheating and the satnav kept sendin g me the wrong way but I was very excited about the gig, but as I approached Locarno my car broke down and I had to get the AA man out to tow me back home so I missed the Quo by 2 hours and the journey had taken me 5 days! Not to be downhearted, ‘cause I know I am meant to meet the Quo, I flew to Sweden, cause my car was still bad. This was for their show in Gutlzauudden on 22 July. I was so excited. I got a cab from the airport to the venue and it was all in good time.

Imagine my shock and sadness when I got there to find out that the show had been cancelled. When am I ever going to meet the Quo? I can’t wait for the Christmas tour, and this time I won’t be needing any trains or boats or planes to get there as it is in England. It should be a good one as Bonnie Tayler is joining them. Look out for Quofestive in December. I am gonna meet them, I just know I am!

I got a free gift from Ricky Parf and Frank Rossini though, as they gave me a free download of ‘The Wincer’. It was on ‘Quit, Pro, Quo’ but they have done a new version and it is constantly on the BBC Radio 2. You can get it too if you go to their website, www.statusquo.co.uk Join me next time for some more Delores Quo chasing adventures.

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s r e m m Su feature - SUMMERS

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The fans rocked up eagerly awaiting the headline slot; ‘Summers’ who ‘bridge the gap between the iconic legends of old and the current new wave of music’.

I had a chat with the guys before their big gig at The Brook in Southampton as I wanted to find out where it all began for them. The band was formed at the end of 2007 and feature brothers, Crash on vocals, and Ricky, on bass, who hooked up with other band member, guitarist Jase Sepala during their college years. They later had the good fortune of bagging top drummer Andy Pope, formerly of ‘The Cockney Rejects’. Sam Hickling on guitar completes the line up.

They told me they had just returned from Cyprus where they had recorded their album. Good choice of location to be making

music when your band name has hot associations!

As the boys chatted happily away to me on my sofa I could sense the positive vibe and passion for their songs. They certainly looked the part; Crash and Jase in their tight trousers and ripped tee shirts had a good image. I think they were having a ‘hair-off’. It was hard to decide who had the most backcombing and hair spray! Long blonde skinny Sam had the ‘heroine junkie appeal’, and tall Ricky with his smooth flowing dark hair and bandana smiled his way through the interview

with perfect LA teeth! Sat next to me was bleached blonde and muscular Andy, who reminded me of ‘Motorhead’s’ Mikkey Dee. He later revealed he used to drum in their tribute band and sports his old drum set!

So, they looked the part, they sounded excited about their music, now to see the evidence…. The crowd were really hyped up and I was instantly impressed with Crash’s stage presence. He looked and sounded every bit the rock star; his voice reminiscent of a young Axl Rose.

He opened the gig with a song called, ‘Rock You’ and rock you it did. He commanded the stage strutting his stuff for his audience and I could already see a large following of female supporters for this guy!

‘Sometimes’ was mid set and is due to be their first single release. Very Bon Jovi.

They certainly had the 80’s rock and roll mix of twin guitar led riffs with the driving force of an amazing drummer. ‘Summers’ did not disappoint. Excellent musicians with a strong vocal and big stadium rock sound. I believe the future is bright for this band.

Here comes the ‘Summers’ do dun do do! And I say, they’re alright!

Reporter Clare Fletcher Location Southampton, UK More info: www.officialsummers.com

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REGULAR - LAUNCHPAD

h c Laun pad d e n ig s n u e r e h W bands get recognised

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Smurfs, vikings & even some Dalmatians!

It was set to be a fun evening 32

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ing me anon fire. The even mming to so t the night on se . a drummer! Ja ts ly al en re ud ey st e th h hits, ed night for th between smas even g was a them d in an ay s pl ng ki as Vi w urfs, that the band ts such as Sm various outfi n evening. fu a be Dressed up in to t ians! It was se tremely some Dalmat would play ex e group, they ” and th ot on Ri g A in t ss ic Focu onster”, “I Pred “M g lented, in ta ud y cl el rs, in was extrem er m upbeat numbe um dr e en Example. Th may have be the drummer “Kickstarts” by at the th on e n tic sig no J. I did nt, as the de as was the D to some exte d with ch ha Ri ch y Ri dd r.

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REGULAR - TUITION - DRUMS

DRUM TUITION

with Henry Wallace

Ever fancied yourself as Ginger Baker crossed with Billy Cobham sporting Tre Cools hair then read on, each issue we will explore the kit and with the aid of videos guide you through the exercises.

In this issue we shall be looking at the very beginning of good technique practice. You can use these to simply get your sticking up to scratch or even use them in your own compositions!

The Single is the simplest form of rudiment. This is basically hitting the drum alternately with the sticks. You can find this rudiment in most rock songs. You can vary the sticking by going around the kit, instead of restricting yourself to the snare drum. Starting off slowly, you can get a feel for how the drum skin feels. It is important to remember not to push the stick into the skin, but instead let the stick bounce off.

This not only will produce a better sound, but it will also encourage consistency.

The Paradiddle is a good way to advance your sticking some more. It gives you the opportunity to experiment around the drum kit. It also progresses your technique further. You should practice the rudiment until it sounds like a SINGLE.

The Flam is commonly in compositions. Whichever stick you are starting with, you must use the stick almost immediately after it. So it is two strikes of the skin, but made to almost sound like one. You must not hit the skin with both sticks at the same time otherwise you will not have produced a flam!

It gives the fill or break some weight and bite. Genres that use this include Rock, Jazz and Funk! So if you’re feeling like a headbanger, a cool cat or even a little “funkay”

SINGLE – R L R L R L R L R L R L PARADIDDLE – R L R R L R L L FLAM – (r) L (l) R (r) L (l) R Take your time and practice hard.

Til next time.

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REGULAR - TUITION - BASS

BASS TUITION

with Tim Atkinson

Welcome to the first edition of Rock Receiver and the Bass tuition section.

This issue we are concentrating on a fundamental element of learning and playing an instrument and that is the area of warm ups. After all you wouldn’t run the marathon without doing at least a few stretches.

The Bass guitar is a big instrument and requires a lot of stretching in your fretting hand, your hand is more used to gripping things such as phone etc, so some work is needed to open the hand up and get it nice and flexible.

A good exercise is to put an elastic band around your fingers and practice opening and closing your hand and pushing against the resistance of the elastic band, Now on to the playing, the first exercise is very simple and is illustrated on the video. Whilst doing this exercise you must try to play very evenly and try to get your fingers just behind the fret to get the best tone possible. When you have mastered this , try other variations e.g. instead of fingers 1234 , try 2143 or anything else you might like. Play along with a metronome and gradually increase the tempo.

Exercise 2 is called The Spider and was first shown to me by my friend and great Bass player Paul Geary. It is a diagonal version of exercise 1 and is illustrated in full on the video. It is a great exercise to use and keep in your warm up routine.

Enjoy your playing and keep warming up before you start your main practice routine.

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REGULAR - TUITION - GUITAR

GUITAR TUITION Pick it up and find a comfortable place to sit with it. Best to sit on a chair or stool where your thighs are flat.

Put the guitar on your right knee about 3-4 inches away from your body and then tilt it back towards your body. Looking down you should see the body and neck of the guitar and most importantly, the strings. If you don’t see the strings then it’s likely that you have the guitar the wrong way round, which makes it much harder to play.

Ok now drape your arm over the corner of the guitar so that your hand falls over the sound hole or the guitar pickups depending on whether you are playing and acoustic guitar or an electric.

Between the guitar being under your arm and rested on your knee, that should be all the support it needs. You shouldn’t have to support it from the neck too, leaving your left hand to freely run up and down the strings on the fingerboard (or fretboard as it’s well known), which is the thing with the dots on it.

Identifying the strings On the guitar you will notice that (hopefully) it has six strings. The thickest string will be nearest your nose and the thinnest string will be nearest to your knee.

The thinnest string is the 1st string and the thickest string is the 6th string.

Here is the order of the strings: 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th

E B G D A E

So logically it goes E, A, D, G, B, E from the thickest to the thinnest string.

Which can be best remembered as the mnemonic.

Elephants And Donkeys Grow Big Ears

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So how do I tune them up? I hear you mutter. Hmm… seems complicated doesn’t it?… But fear not!

Tuning Up Ok, starting with the 6th string. Pick up the guitar tuner and blow mainly carbon dioxide into it where it says E. Blowing should come naturally to you, as it involves the expiration of breath, a process involving the exchange of gases in the lungs which helps to keep you alive.

There are two E’s on the tuner. A deeper lower note and a higher note. For the moment we want the deeper one. Pluck the 6th string and listen.

Does the note sound the same?

Playing the Guitar When you play the guitar, it involves two hands (I know what you’re thinking “like duh!”) But you’d be surprised how many people very play well with their left hand and terribly with their right. Remember it’s the right hand which “plays” the guitar and makes it sound nice.

Strumming Technique – The basics Pick up the plectrum or “pick” as it’s more commonly known.

Hold it between the thumb and first finger of your right hand. Your thumb should run across the width of the pick and your index finger should roughly point towards the point of the pick leaving about 3-4mm of room for you to strum.

Probably not. Ok this is the note you have to tune the guitar to.

Strumming the guitar is not as easy as it looks if you are going to do it well.

Now you can either tune the whole guitar to the various notes on the tuner or you can start to tune the guitar to itself.

Generally I tell my pupils that you should hold your pick approximately 45 degrees upwards towards your nose in a firm but not too tight fashion. Also when you strum you should strum with approx 1-2mm of the point of the pick. Don’t dig too deeply.

How to tune the guitar to itself Place your finger on the 5th fret of the 6th string. Play that string and then play the 5th string open. Do they sound the same?

If not, turn the 5th string tuner (or machine head as it’s commonly known), up or down until you hear that they are both the same.

You may have to do this several times until you get it right.

Next - do the same thing with your finger the 5th fret on the 5th string and compare it with the 4th string.

Next - do the same thing with your finger the 5th fret on the 4th string and compare it with the 3rd string Now it gets different – place your finger on the 4th fret on the third string and compare it with the 2nd string.

Finally, go back to tuning the 1st string from the 2nd string on the 5th fret.

Go through each of the strings again to check that it is all in tune.

Ok so you’re ready to go, check your fingernails again to see that they haven’t grown since you started the tuning process.

Ready to go?

MOST IMPORTANT! YOU PLAY MOSTLY WITH YOUR WRIST AND FINGERS AND NOT YOUR ARM! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! Your arm will move a little bit, but more radially (in a twisting fashion) rather than in a linear (up and down) fashion. When you strum your hand shouldn’t really go much beyond the boundary of the soundhole both up and down even in a vigourous strum.

I liken strumming a guitar to stroking your pussy cats head, nice and gently. Moving your hand in an almost circular motion. Once you have perfected this method your pussy will love you forever.

Try to avoid bashing the strings with the plectrum rather than strumming (another common mistake). Really you should strum the strings as if playing them individually and make them sound like they are ringing together.

So you wanna learn to play the geeetawwwrrrr!

Ok so I know you’re itching to get started.

You’ve read several pages of garbled nonsense and you’re all excited and ready to strut your groove thaang.

But you need to know some chords before you write “that” song which will take the world by storm.

So What is a Chord Chart?

The sole purpose of chord charts/diagrams is to show how chords are fingered i.e. which finger plays which note:

Diagram showing the chord of A

Chord Charts How to read a chord chart: A Blank One

The dots represent the notes to be played.

Clear dots are open strings and the numbers underneath the diagram tell you which fingers to use for each note of the chord.

Your fingers are numbered like this: Index finger: 1st Big Finger: 2nd Ring Finger: 3rd Little Finger: 4th

Ok, so now after all these years your little finger has suddenly got something positive to do apart from helping the others out gripping things (and a few unmentionable uses I won’t go into here).

At first you may find that your fingers hurt a bit after playing for a while. This is quite normal. Like the soles of your feet the skin will thicken up in time and eventually it won’t hurt so much and then one day probably not at all. I always advise people to play little and often at first. A good idea is to have a go when the adverts appear during a TV programme.

The thick horizontal line at the top shows you where the strings start.

This is called the nut on your guitar (no squirrel jokes please).

The lines that run across are the frets – the metal strips.

The six lines running vertically are the strings.

The thick vertical line is the thickest string.

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s e p o c s o k Roc REGULAR - Rockoscopes

Mystic Greg gives you his low down on the planetary movements

LEO 24 July – 23 August

SAGITTARIUS 23 November – 21 December

If it is the limelight that you are after then the time is now. Take every opportunity that comes in your direction and you will not go wrong in the success stakes. A gamble could pay off Leo.

Discuss what is wrong with a friend who has been letting you down and reach a compromise.

All good things come to those who wait. Love is on your side Sagittarian!

SONG – CRAZY TRAIN Ozzy Osbourne

SONG – ROCK N ROLL Led Zeppelin

VIRGO 24 August – 23 September You are brimming with creativity. Use all your positive energy to achieve all your hopes and dreams. Don’t let your perfectionist side stop you from moving forward Virgoan!

SONG - YOU MAKE LOVING FUN Fleetwood Mac

CAPRICORN 22 December – 20 January If you are experiencing feelings of temptation, then it is time to act upon your impulse. You only live once and tomorrow it may not be available.

Live and let live Capricorn!

SONG – GIVE PEACE A CHANCE John Lennon

ARIES 21 March – 21 April Stop being so selfish and remember that you are not the only person on the planet. Try to see things from others perspectives. It is not sensible to be narrowminded. Thursday is a lucky day for matters of money Aries!

SONG – YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME Bon Jovi

TAURUS 21 April – 21 May It is time to face facts and tackle your problems. You won’t be satisfied unless you take a head long approach. Do not let others put you down. You are fabulous Taurean!

SONG – ALL I WANNA DO Sheryl Crow

LIBRA

AQUARIUS

GEMINI

24 September – 23 October

21 January – 19 February

21 May - 20 June

Be careful how you address sensitive types, as they will carry the blame. You have been treading on eggshells lately but will gain great rewards from this behaviour. Know when it is right to speak your mind Libran!

All you beautiful people need to stop being so easy going. Listen to you heart. If things don’t change they will stay the same. You do not always have to make decisions for the greater good Aquarian!

SONG- BIG AREA Then Jerico

SONG – ALL THE SMALL THINGS Blink 182

Spend more time and money on yourself. You have been looking after others for far too long now. Change is as good as a rest.

But if you can fit in a rest then even better Gemini!

SONG – CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA Oasis

SCORPIO

PISCES

CANCER

24 October – 22 November

20 February – 20 March

21 June - 22 July

Try to be at the forefront and stop observing from a distance. You take it and in and don’t miss a trick, so use this ability to get what you want. Let yourself go Scorpion!

SONG – EVERYBODY HURTS REM

Getting on with partners is the focus for you at present, so keep your temper under wraps and look at all the great things in your relationship. You are very lucky Piscean!

This is the start of a happy and adventurous phase for you. Try to break old habits and look to the future.

Try something different. You might like it Cancer!

SONG – I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU Kiss

SONG – TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE Lou Reed

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REGULAR - ALBUM REVIEWS

ALbum S w e i v e r reviews OF NEW AND CLASSIC ALBUMS

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Lynyrd Skynrd

Last of a dying breed It’s been 3 years since their last album and it appears to be that not many people actually realise that this legendary band are still around. Ever since the infamous disaster, the image of the band has been of a remembrance style, instead of celebratory. Sweet Home Alabama and Free Bird are what most people seem to remember from their repertoire. In fact the group have come back with new members to carry on the legend that is Lynyrd Skynrd.

The album? Just as you’d expect. Strong riffs, powerful fills and great harmonies. You can clearly hear the links to their former glory.

RATING

KISS

Monster

RATING

Nearly 40 years into the aptly named “Kisstory”, KISS are still going strong, and this album certainly reflects that.

This is definitely a step into the more modern sounding rock style. Instead of songs with titles like “Come on and Love Me”, we are presented with singles such as “Hell or Halleluiah”. Darker tones of the band have certainly emerged. What can we expect for their 40th anniversary? Well, if this album is anything to go by, something completely different. It’s something I’m very much looking forward to. Truly, a sign that KISS hasn’t disappeared from our minds, and that they’re bigger, louder and spanglier than ever!

Paul Weller Sonik Kicks

He’s back, with the same haircut, same accent and same sound. Is this now boring? HELL NO. Paul Weller is just as good now as he was before. I think he has even matured somewhat. Thickly layered tracks bursting at the seams with harmonies, but with underlying hints of his Mod days, the singles on the album really do stand out. Which is surprising really, as almost everyone knows what to expect with this well experienced musician.

Nevertheless, a good album, somewhat repetitive though. If you’re a rocker, you may want to calm down and handcuff yourself to a radiator before attempting to make a trip to Brighton.

RATING

TANK

War Nation

RATING

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A true monster of rock has returned with a brand new release. War Nation is the title of this rather meaty album. With a few bonus tracks added on for good measure, Tank has kept to their distinctive sound. One of the major points to Tank is how you can hear the progression of Rock and Roll through the years. The most prevalent is how much like Motorhead they sound. Obviously without the gravelly vocals of Rock God Lemmy, but well worth the listen. They haven’t differed from their previous albums style, but most rock fans wouldn’t mind.

Enter Shikari

A Flash Flood Of Colour Ahh yes, the band that 15 year old wannabe alternative boys strive to be. Their new release has taken influence from the new craze in the music industry; dubstep. Not to say that it’s all doom and gloom though, there are some rather powerful numbers in there. But you really have to listen carefully, as you can barely understand the singer in most cases due to the screaming. I wouldn’t say that Enter Shikari is a horrible band, I would rather say that they perhaps need to realise what kind of genre they are. I know it’s nice to have diversity every now and again, but I personally can’t see the appeal. Besides, they fall into the same realm as Fall Out Boy and Bullet for My Valentine. That is an area that I’d rather not associate myself with.

RATING

Jack White Blunderbuss

RATING

Jack White entering the charts again, but this time without his sister Meg. Acclaimed and widely loved guitarist Jeff Beck has stated on many occasions that he loves the White Stripes for their sheer simplicity and catchy riffs.

So, is it a case of déjà vu? Or has Jack broken from the mould. Well, listening to the album a few times I’m glad to announce that he has certainly further developed his own style. Strong percussion and melodic phrases definitely set this album apart from his previous work. A dark undertone appears that Jack could be regretting continuing band with his sibling, but perhaps that’s reading just a little too much into it. An alright album, with a new side to Jack that we thought we’d never see.

Linkin Park Living things

Well, another album by Linkin Park has hit the shelves, and I can report that not much has changed. Listening to the more recognisable tracks such as “In My Remains”, I can still hear that classic Linkin Park sound. However, it doesn’t leave much to the imagination. When I first heard the track I could immediately tell what was coming up next in terms of composition. Admittedly most bands stick to the same style, but with Linkin Park it seems to be a written law that the band writes the songs in a set fashion. So, overall not a bad album, but certainly predictable!

RATING

Flats

Better living

RATING

Okay, this one is certainly interesting. First impressions are that they recorded the album with a built in microphone on a laptop. Second impressions are that they are a rather angry band. A slow pace, with simplistic chord progression definitely is a breath of fresh air into the rather watered-down and “Americanised” business of which we call music. Having looked up the band through the wonders of the internet, it turns out that a lot of people certainly seem to enjoy the stylings of this rather new group. It can get a bit hard on the ears after a while, but certainly worth checking out. This band could very well be the dark horse amongst the repetitiveness of new bands. The notable track is FOXTROT (the video is rather good)

Paul McCartney Kisses on the Bottom

The Beatle is back with a rather calm new release. The single “My Valentine” is a melodic masterpiece. What you would expect from one of the most influential musicians of our lifetime.

Featuring such giants as Stevie Wonder and Eric Clapton, this chilled out and sombre album is sure to tug at your heartstrings. Still singing about love, passion and peace, it seems McCartney hasn’t changed. And that’s fine by me.

RATING

Foo Fighters Best of...

One of the most popular bands in the world right now, Foo Fighters has released another Greatest Hits album.

Superb songs such as “Times like These” and “The Pretender”, we are reminded how many amazing songs Foo Fighters have produced.

RATING

Upbeat rhythms from Taylor Hawkins and powerful licks from ex-Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl certainly have made Foo Fighters one of the most critically acclaimed bands of the 21st Century. Every true rock and roller needs to have this in their library. If not, you are seriously behind the times.

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