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14 Escape.com.au
Flying facts
Straighten up and fly right Roderick Eime
PUB: SUNDAY MAIL 27/12/09 T-14 STATE
ALL the rules and procedures about flying on planes can make the journey a real drag. Buckle this, stow that, turn that off. Are all these regulations just to intimidate passengers and make aircrew feel important? Paul (not his real name) flew as cabin crew with a major Australian carrier for more than a decade. I asked him about some of the rigmarole that most of us ignore. Brace. ‘‘Always good for a giggle, but if things get messy, you should know how to do it properly. The idea is to get you sitting as far forward as possible so if there’s an impact you don’t go flying all over the place. If we tell you to remove your tie, dentures and spectacles, then it’s serious.’’ Stow your tray table, seat backs upright. ‘‘It’s a drag I know, but there are two reasons. One, to give you clear access if you have to move quickly and, two, to remove hazards in the event of a sudden stop. Also, if your chair is reclined, you could slide under your belt.’’ Open the blinds: ‘‘If you see a part of the wing fly off, you’ll yell out, right? Also if the plane does ditch, you’ll
want to know where to exit and if there’s fire somewhere. You need blinds up for all this.’’ Lifejackets are under your seat. ‘‘Seriously, make sure you know where it is and how to put it on – and whatever you do, don’t inflate it until after you exit the aircraft. Remember Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961.’’ (Scores of passengers drowned when the cockpit filled with water and they couldn’t swim out.) Evacuate: ‘‘This is never pretty, even in training. We have 90 seconds to clear the plane and it helps if you know which is your closest exit. If you’re in a window seat or blocked somehow, just run across the top of the seats.’’ Greg is a captain with a major Asian airline, with 15,000 hours’ total flying time, and has held a commercial pilot’s licence for 30 years. What’s the secret to a silky smooth landing? ‘‘The best landings are really in the hands of the pilot and 99 per cent of landings are done that way – good and bad. The best landings are when all the ducks are lined up (approach speed, no crosswind, glide slope etc) and you just nail it.’’
BRACE YOURSELF: Airline safety procedures have a purpose. And the rough ones? ‘‘Well, you’ll expect me to say this, but it’s most likely a computer system mistake where the ‘autoland’ feature has not properly selected the flare point for any number of reasons. If there’s a bad crosswind, storm or it’s gusty, a pilot will want to get the plane down ASAP and that can be indelicate.’’ Can a hijacker break into the cockpit? ‘‘Not any more. After 9/11, all cockpit doors are bulletproof and locked from inside.’’ Greg’s advice for a good passenger: ‘‘Get to the departure gate with plenty of time to spare. ‘‘Pay attention to the safety briefing, especially your nearest exit.
‘‘Treat flight attendants with respect and don’t drink too much alcohol.’’ Ray (not his real name) is a senior certifying engineer with 20 years’ experience and signs off the big Boeing and Airbus aircraft. Self-landing aircraft: ‘‘It’s true, modern aircraft can land themselves and even brake if needed, but the really cool stuff is the new TCAS (Traffic alert and Collision Avoidance System) now fitted to aircraft that will make the decision about which aircraft swerves up or down if it looks like there will be a mid-air collision.’’ Turn off your mobile phone. ‘‘That’s a myth, but most airlines, I reckon, keep mobile phones off for passenger
comfort and it’s still against the law in most places. I’d get shirty if some bloke was blabbing on his phone the whole trip. Thankfully, most phones won’t work at altitude anyway.’’ (Airlines are trialling in-flight equipment and ‘picocells’ – mini mobile phone towers inside the aircraft that communicate with land or satellite systems.) Where is the safest section of a plane? ‘‘Most survivors seem to be in the back.’’ True. Despite claims by many authorities suggesting no ‘‘safe zone’’ existed, Popular Mechanics magazine analysed 20 accidents in the US and found passengers sitting rear of the wing had a noticeably improved survival rate.
COL: C M Y K
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