How Your Childhood influences your Relationships as an Adult You may not remember your childhood very much, but it influences your life every day. Modern psychologist and many before them believe that the kind of relationship that you built with your primary caregiver, say your mother, provides the base for your present and future relationship. A book on child psychology, like The Enigma of Childhood beautifully deals with the issue. In fact, it is not just about romantic relationships. Your childhood memories and experiences may even affect the kind of relationship you have with your own child and coworkers as well. Here are some of the ways; your childhood has a great influence on your present life. 1. You develop a working model According to various psychological studies you develop an internal working model or healthy narcissism, which is your emotional immune system. This is the result of the relationship a child has with their primary carer mainly the parents. This is the base created in your early childhood, wherein you consider what is acceptable in a relationship and the level of bonding and trust you may have. 2. It influences your decision making According to many psychologist and authors, your childhood has a profound effect on your decisions making. For instance, if you grew up in a very negative
environment where your parents always fought and one of them threatened to leave, you could be reacting the same way when confronted with similar situation. Likewise, deciding how to react in a particular situation could be influenced by the experience you had in your childhood. 3. It influences the kind of romantic relationship you have When people meet the one, they have this immediate connection same as your mother had with you when you were born. Even though you were too little to understand it then, it does leave an imprint on you and you carry that with you since then. Ronnie Solan, a renowned psychoanalyst, in her book on child psychology, the Enigma of Childhood states that between the periods in which a child is born and he next three years, the child develops a system that continues throughout the lifespan. If you had a loving and secure childhood, there is 90% chance of having a same loving and secure relationships in your adult life. 4. It also determines the kind of parent you are going to end up becoming Almost everyone once in a while think that when they grow up they will never be like their parents. This reaction could be the result of a stressful relationship you had with your parents in your childhood. Or it could be just a passing moment. If you had parents you constantly fought and bickered or they were over critical of you, you could be channeling the same behavior in your adult life as well. How A book On Child Psychology help you? The fact that everything you do and have has its base in your childhood, understanding it could help you resolve some of the serious issues. For instance, despite having a perfect partner, you unwittingly try to sabotage the relationship
only because your “internal working system” doesn’t agree with it. Likewise, a parent can have difficulty in developing a bond with their own child because of some childhood issues. These issues can be resolved by understanding your early childhood memories and experiences. A book on child psychology could help you in many ways. The childhood is a very important part of human life and early memories and experiences could be hiding the great secret to your happiness and love.