How Your Childhood Influences your Relationships in Adulthood Your early childhood memories and experiences have a great influence in your life including your relationship with your spouse, partner, your children and even your co-workers. Reading a book on relationship psychology is one of the best ways of understanding how relationships work. The period between the birth and the first three years is quite important as whatever a child learns and accumulates over these years serves as reservoir of information and influences your decision making process. Childhood memories traces and experiences set a certain standard against which you weigh everything else when making a decision. The same goes for relationships. Why is it so hard to maintain a relationship? Even though you have found the perfect partner, maintaining a relationship for a long time seems a challenge sometimes. Constant arguments and differences can ruin a relationship. So why does this happen? The answer can be found in your early childhood memories traces and experiences. Did your parent fight around you? Did you have a very insecure childhood? Were you a stubborn child? All these things influence your judgment and behavior in your adult life.
What happens in Childhood As a child whatever you learn from your primary caretaker and surroundings stays with you throughout your lifetime and becomes the healthy narcissism. This helps in preserving the original knowledge. In a relationship, when you are faced with something dissimilar in your partner, your healthy narcissism immediately tries to repel the change or difference. A child has the strongest bond with their primary caretaker like the mother. They are centre of their familiarity and beyond that anything is strange. That’s why children often have stranger’s anxiety, which is cured when they are taught to be comfortable in presence of others. The same thing happens when you are in a relationship. Learning to preserve your true identity and tolerating the otherness The best way to preserve partnership and happiness in your relationship is to learn how to tolerate the otherness in your partner while preserving your identity. The differences may arise from difference in personality and taste and choices. The important thing is to remember that like you, your partner too has a healthy narcissism that acts an emotional immune system. To preserve the relationship and happiness, you have to learn to live with the differences in a shared space. A book on relationship psychology can help you in this matter. Recognizing the behavioral pattern It is often seen that your childhood memories of your parents or the primary caretaker can have a huge influence on your present relationship. If you had a loving and caring parents, it is likely that you will have same kind of relationship in your adulthood. On the other hand, if you had parents who argued and fought
constantly or got separated, it can also influence your present relationship. You need to learn where your reactions are coming from. Whether they are your own or influenced by other factors. Childhood has a huge influence in your life especially on your on-going relationship. A book on relationship psychology can give a detailed insight into it. For more information, visit http://goo.gl/nGHkzH