http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1952/1952_0037_A

3

d

EVERY FORTNIGHT

No.

37

I M P E R I A L

30

C O L L E G E

MAY

1952

PORTS AGAIN This short account of the I.C. Annual Sports h e l d o n 2 1 s t May a t H a r l i n g t o n i s w r i t t e n p r i m a r i l y f o r t h e b e n e f i t o f t h e 1 4 0 0 o d d s t u d e n t s who c o u l d n o t t e a r t h e m s e l v e s away f r o m t h e i r h o r r i b l e h i d e y h o l e s f o r a few h o u r s .

The Gods s m i l e d a g a i n t h i s y e a r w i t h b r i l l i a n t s u n s h i n e t e m p e r e d t o t h e f e v e r e d b r o w by a s l i g h t b r e e z e as s i x happy l a u g h i n g b u s l o a d s of competitors o f f i c i a l s a n d s t a f f a r r i v e d a t H a r l i n g t o n t o be g r e e t e d by t h e g l a m o u r o u s l a d i e s o f I . C . W . A . resp l e n d e n t i n w h i t e summer t e a - c o s i e s o r h a t s .

M a r s h a l l e d by t h e d o v e l i k e t o n e s o f one J .

H o w a r t h , m e r c i f u l l y i n a u d i b l e o v e r most o f the g r o u n d , the c o m p e t i t o r s f o r the f i r s t race were soon s t r a i n i n g at the leash.

After the false start f o r forms sake, F r e d d i e Brown demonstrated h i s great hurdle f e l l i n g technique, which performance he o b l i g i n g l y r e p e a t e d a g a i n s t t h a t o l d s t a g e r Geoff. Fishwick i n his positively last appearance, t o w i n the f i n a l of the 120 y d s . h u r d l e s .

One o f t h e m o s t e x c i t i n g m o m e n t s w a s p r o v i d e d by t h e 1 0 0 y d s . s p r i n t w i t h t h e f i r s t t h r e e r u n n i n g l e v e l t h e whole way, t h e v e r d i c t b e i n g g i v e n t o J . B . Davies and Bres Barry, a shaving i n front of t h e e v e r l a s t i n g Tony W a t t s .

The p o l e v a u l t d e v e l o p e d i n t o a t u s s l e between t h e same J . B . D a v i e s a n d A t k i n s o n o f c o n t r a s t i n g s t y l e s , t h e l a t t e r e v e n t u a l l y c l e a r i n g 10'. 3 " .

Due t o Doc S p a r k s ' s e f f o r t s a g a l l a n t band o f s t a f f were rounded up and stampeded a l o n g the 100 y d s . s t r e t c h .

Had t h e Doc r e s e r v e d h i s e n e r g i e s he m i g h t h a v e i n c r e a s e d t h e s t a r t he h a d on g i v e n h i m s e l f , but as i t was, George Sweeting, to winged f e e t , overtook Miss P r a t t at the post, g a i n t h e c o v e t e d p r i z e o f B r u n o F l a k e ( h i s own brand).

How D o u g C u r z o n e v e r g e t s o v e r t h e b a r i s q u i t e a m y s t e r y - i t must be t h e s p r i n g i n t h e a i r , b u t he manages.

He w a s e c l i p s e d , h o w e v e r , b y M . R i c k a r d , U . L . c h a m p i o n who c l e a r e d 6 ' 0 " , beating t h e p r e v i o u s b e s t by 2 " w i t h f a u l t l e s s j u m p i n g .

D u r i n g t h e t e a i n t e r v a l , when t e a c o u l d be o b t a i n e d i f y o u waited l o n g enough, the F e n c i n g C l u b gave an e x h i b i t i o n of f o i l s and ep^e, while Ted B e l l , a n s w e r i n g t h e open i n v i t a t i o n showed j u s t how d i f f i c u l t i t a l l was.

We'd r a t h e r s t i c k to pistols.

J u d g i n g f r o m t h e number o f r u n n e r s f r o m t h e M i n e s . a n d t h e number t h a t c o t no f u r t h e r t h a n t h e l a s t obstacle, beer i s a matter of great importance.

The r a c e was won by Tony P e a c o c k wba c h e a t e d .

Lady H i l l drew the o f f i c i a l p r o c e e d i n g s to a c l o s e when she g r a c i o u s l y p r e s e n t e d t h e p r i z e s ( a f t e r Dai N i c h o l a s had dropped them).

Atkinson clearing 10' 3 " , p o l e

vault.

IC

H O N O U R S

L I S T

A t t h e i r m e e t i n g l a s t December C o u n c i l a d o p t e d a recommendation o f t h e U n i o n E x e c u t i v e , t h a t a n award be i n s t i t u t e d f o r o u t s t a n d i n g s e r v i c e t o t h e U n i o n by t h o s e n o t q u a l i f y i n g t h e r e b y f o r any o f t h e acknow l edged awards or colours.

The UNION GENERAL AWARD ( a s i t i s t e r m e d ) t a k e s t h e form o f a n o r m a l I . C . b l a z e r w i t h t h e a d d i t i o n o f l a u r e l l e a v e s s u p p o r t i n g t h e s h i e l d o f arms on t h e p o c k e t . .

FELIX oongratulatessPhillip Allsop.

"Wally" Goss.

John Holmes.

Paul Jeffrey.

Alan Soott.

t o g e t h e r w i t h D a i N i c h o l a s and Norman Seaways, upon whom t h e G e n e r a l Award was c o n f i r m e d a t t h e l a s t m e e t i n g o f C o u n c i l .

R . G S .

Result

of

ballot

E L E C T I O N S

vote

President

':-

Vice-President

:-

held

on Monday

2 6 t h I.'.ay.

J.S.Harding.

K.Corrigan.

W E S T F I E L D

H O !

T h e W e t t f i e l d D e b a t e a n d D a n c e was c h i e f l y r e m arkable for i t s exclusiveness.

A s m a l l number o f d i s i n t e r e s t e d a l u m n i debated the power of the p r e s s on F r i d a y the 1 6 t h of May, and f a r - r e a c h i n g decisions o f a s e d i t i o u s n a t u r e , were made.

The s p e a k i n g was o f a q u i t e h i g h s t a n d a r d , p a r t i c u l a r l y f r o m t h e f l o o r , a n d a s m a l l bomb s h e l l i n the shape of Margaret H u t c h i n s o n ( W e s t f i e l d ) r o c k e d the platform for s e v e r a l minutes.

L o u i s Cohen gave a c o n s i d e r e d and w e l l b a l a n c e d p i c t u r e of the case for t h e m o t i o n a n d was w e l l s u p p o r t e d by W e i l l B l a c k m o r e , who c o n t r i v e d t o t i e many k n o t s a n d y e t h a v e many l o o s e ends l y i n g around f o r the a u d i e n c e to n i b b l e .

The o p p o s i t i o n was a l m o s t e x t r i c a t e d f r o m i t s i m p o s s i b l e p o s i t i o n b y some c o m p l i c a t e d a n d o b s c u r e a r g u m e n t f r o m Ruth w a i s h , but not q u i t e .

I t was i n f a c t d e c i d e d t h a t t h e p r e s s d i d w i e l d more power t h a n t h e g o v e r n m e n t , a n a a f t e r celebrating t h i s h a p p y c o n c l u s i o n by a t t a c k i n g a n o p t i m i s t i c a r r a y o f c a k e s and c o f f e e , t h e e v e n i n g s e t t l e d down t o a subdued dance which had a l l the h a l l - m a r k s o f a r i t u a l .

For the f i r s t time i n I.C. h i s t o r y an exact e q u i l i b r i u m was a c h i e v e d b e t w e e n m a l e s a n d f e m a l e s , which (and, was s u c c e s s f u l l y m a i n t a i n e d u n t i l 1 0 , 3 0 p . m . i t i s t h o u g h t may w e l l h a v e c o n t i n u e d a f t e r w a r d s i n other surroundings).

The f i n i s h o f t h e 160 y d s s p r i n t .

2

P R O F I L E

T b t t e r i n the Ambala earthquake of 1905, and h e l d the r e g i m e n t a l Heavy Weight B o x i n g C h a m p i o n s h i p f o r 8 years.

I n 1910 Wally j o i n e d the B r a d f o r d Mounted P o l i c e .

W h i l e t e m p o r a r i l y b a s h i n g a b e a t o n f o o t W a l l y was i n f o r m e d by t h e l o c a l b u t c h e r t h a t h e , M r . C o u l s o n by name, " h a d done t h e b e g g a r s I n " .

On i n f o r m a t i o n t h u s r e c e i v e d W a l l y i n s p e c t e d the b u t c h e r ' s premis.es to d i s cover t h a t M r . C o u l s o n had employed the i n s t r u m e n t s Wally of h i s trade to decapitate h i s wife and i n f a n t . t h e r e u p o n e f f e c t e d h i s most c e l e b r a t e d arrest.

Wally r e j o i n e d the Lancers for the F i r s t World W a r , was b o m b a r d e d a t S c a r b o r o u g h by t h e G e r m a n F l e e t , i n s t r u c t e d i n Musketry (you s h o u l d hear him yet on t h e "Maming of. P a r t s " ) a n d r o s e t o S e r g e a n t Major.

By t h e end o f t h e war W a l l y h a d been wounded f o u r times.

He l e f t t h e A r m y t o e n t e r t h e P o s t Office, and from that vantage p o i n t on the corner of ImpI t w i l l come a s a s h o c k t o members o f t h e R . C . S . e r i a l I n s t i t u t e Road he watched t h e g r o w t h o f I.C., t o l e a r n t h a t n e x t t e r m . " W a l l y " w i l l no l o n g e r be and the b u i l d i n g of the U n i o n .

I n 1942, a t the age g u a r d i a n o f t h e i r d o o r s , t u r n e r away o f s e e k e r s after o f 60 l a l l y " r e t i r e d " t o become t h e d o y e n o f the Museums, d i s p e n s e r o f s n u f f and S t o r i e s and g u i d e , Imperial College Cerberuses ( i f you w i l l pardon the p h i l o s o p h e r and f r i e n d to b e w i l d e r e d f r e s h e r and dispirited finalist. p a r W a l l y , who m a s q u e r a d e s i n plural). p r i v a t e l i f e a s M r , W. B r i g d e n , i s n o w i n h i s For t e n y s a r s Wally has stood at the p o r t a l s s e v e n t i e t h y e a r and about to r e t i r e f o r the second of R.C.S., watching generations of students (and time. come a n d g o , k n o w i n g o f e a c h h i s l o c a l professors) h a b i t a t i o n a n d h i s name, m a s s i v e a n d i m p e r t u r b a b l e I n 1 8 9 9 , when h e was 1 7 , W a l l y d e s e r t e d the as the Rock of G i b r a l t a r .

Over h i s s n u f f b o x and l a u n d r y a t w h i c h he had been w o r k i n g , and a f t e r spending a Saturday afternoon persuading the s p i k e d moustaches he has d i s p e n s e d m i l k and m a i l s , R e c r u i t i n g s s r g e a n t , o v e r a t a n k a r d of beer t h a t he g o s s i p a n d g o o d h u m o u r i n t h e e d d y by h i s o f f i c e was i n f a c t 1 8 , j o i n e d t h e 1 2 t h R o y a l L a n c e r s , just t h a t flanks the stream through the doors, t i l l a i n t i m e f o r t h e B o e r War. Out i n South A f r i c a , day t h a t does not b e g i n and end w i t h h i s h a i l i s Wally and the 12th fought at Magersfontein, relieved scarcely thinkable.

Kimberley, and captured P r e t o r i a .

On 1 1 t h J u n e , 1 9 0 0 , Wally has grown i n t o the f a b r i c of the College, W a l l y t o o k p a r t i n t n e famous charge a t Diamond H i l l one o f the p r i n c i p a l human memories t h a t most o f us when t h e L a n c e r s r e s c u e d two guns o f " Q " B a t t e r y , w i l l c a r r y away w i t h u s f r o m R . C . S .

To W a l l y o n R.H.A. H i s r e g i m e n t t h e n moved t o I n d i a , where h i s l a s t g o i n g d o w n we e x t e n d o u r s i n c e r e s t wishes W a l l y became s e r g e a n t , a c t e d as Company J o b ' s Comf o r a l o n g , peaceful and contented retirement.

L E T T E R S

T O

T H E

E D I T O R

Dear

Sir, My e f f o r t t o f r e e I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e f r o m t h e shac<sies o f s a r t o r i a l c o n s e r v a t i s m h a s , a s y e t , prod u c e d no v i v i d r e s u l t s .

'This negative h o s t i l i t y to Advance i s not unexpected.

D o we n o t a l l r e m e i a b e r how G a l l i l e o w a s n e a r l y b u r n e d a t t h e s t a ^ e a s a n e r e t i c , when he t a u g h t t h a t g r a v i t a t i o n was no r e s p e c t e r o r e i t u e r c a m i o n b a l l s o r i'G flt t\G 1C S? I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e i s n o t „.'et s u f f i c i e n t l y emancipated to accept'change, unless given i n small doses. .

I suggest a s m a l l dose.

L e t t he s:aart set, i . e . t h o s e who K i v e a d a m n , v/ear t h e a p p r o p r i a t e B o w Tie. T n i s i s a t a a r t , a t t r a c t i v e , and a V e r y Good T h i n g : G i a n t a,/a>cel and near thy tie'.

"ARTURO" , 1 S i r - L a s t F e b r u a r y F E L I X gave t h e E d i t o r o f t h e ' G u i l d s ' E n g i n e e r ' space t o i n t r 6 d u c e h i s j o u r n a l t o s t u d e n t s b e f o r e i t s annual appearance; t h e r e s i s t a n c e t o s a l e s i n the l a s t w e e k , f r o m s t u d e n t s and s t a f f , makes i t s n e c e s s a r y t o r e c o n sider the value of a college t e c h n i c a l j o u r n a l .

The ' G u i l d s ' E n g i n e e r ' p u b l i s h e s t h e b e s t p a p e r s g i v e n a t t h e E n g i n e e r i n g and R a d i o S o c i t i e s ' M e e t i n g , e nc o ur a g e s t h e w r i t i n g o f f u r t h e r a r t i c l e s , and r e c o r d s t h e r e s e a r c h work and L i b r a r y p r o g r e s B o f t h e y e a r . I t h i n k t h a t t h i s i s s u e , the t h i r d , i 3 the best yet, but I f e e l that the problem of the general appeal of s p e c i a l i z e d mathematical p a p e r s must be t a c k l e d .

The q u e s t i o n i s what t a s k does t h i s p u b l i c a t i o n p e r f o r m t h a t i s n o t s e r v e d e i t h e r by such a s ' T h e E n g i n e e r ' and ' E n g i n e e r i n g ' , o r b y t h e h u n d r e d s o f p a r t i c u l a r and r e c o g n i z e d p r o f e s s i o n a l j o u r n a l s ? I f t h e r e i s none t h e n i t w i l l n e v e r b u i l d up t h e c i r c u l a t i o n f o r s u r v i v a l - i t w i l l become a mere c a r r i e r o f o t h e r w i s e unwanted t e c h n i c a l w r i t i n g s .

I f i t i s t o a c h i e v e some r e p u t a t i o n i t must be b o l d and r e c o r d e v e r y t h i n g w o r t h w h i l e i n t h e work o f t h i s c o l l e g e .

Finance i s t h e o n l y l i m i t - but i f t h e ' G u i l d s E n g i n e e r " i s supposed t o do t h i s j o b , i t must do i t . A l t h o u g h t h e a r t i c l e s i n t h e t h r e e i s s u e s t o d a t e have been w e l l ranged i n s u b j e c t , t h i s b e i n g most t r u e i n Number T h r e e , n e a r l y a l l o f them a r e c o n t r i b u t i o n s i n a m i n u t e p a r t o f ea<h f i e l d . A s s u c h t h e y a r e w e l l w r i t t e n , and a s f a r a s I c a n j u d g e , t h e y S h o u l d be o f great i n t e r e s t t o s p e c i a l i s t s .

M o s t l a c k i n g from t h e p a p e r s p u b l i s h e d a r e summaries o f each s h o w i n g t h e i r g e n e r a l i m p o r t a n c e i n each f i e l d , and I f e e l t h a t s e p a r a t e a r t i c l e s w o u l d be o f i n t e r e s t l i n k i n g t h e s h o r t summaries o f r e s e a r c h g i v e n f o r e a c h department w i t h d e t a i l s o f p a s t and p r e s e n t w o r k . !

I would l i k e t o add t h a t t h e r e i s s u f f i c i e n t o f g e n e r a l "Libi n t e r e s t i n several a r t i c l e s , p a r t i c u l a r l y Mr.James' r a r y N o t e s " on s e a r c h i n g f o r t e c h n i c a l i n f o r m a t i o n , t o j u s t i f y every Guildsman b u y i n g t h i s i s s u e , Yours e t c .

'Contributor'

C.&G. 23.5.52

Sir, I dontseewhylshouldtakemydirtycupsandsaueorsbae k ifotherrottersdont-evenosSundaysmtchingtenni8.

Washedup. (

The G u a r d i a n ef F e l i x - T h e C a t , Dear S i r , \ T h e r e a r e seme p e o p l e t e l l i n g t h a t F e l i x i s l o s i n g h i s y o u t h f u l v i g o u r . I n my o p i n i o n t h i s i s n o t t r u e , a l t h o u g h i t may be so i n f u t u r e . I met F e l i x d u r i n g t h e p r » s » n t academic y e a r and I found t h a t p o o r c a t becomes i n c l i n e d t o d e v e l o p c e r t a i n h a b i t s , w h i c h once formed,may be d i f f i c u l t t o remove.

I n o t i c e d a l s o h i s g r o w i n g s a d n e s s and I wonde r what t h e r e a s o n may b e . A l t h o u g h he shows t h a t h i s sense of humour i s n o t c o m p l e t e l y l o s t , m a i n l y when he d i s c u s s e s m o d e m i n v e n t i o n s , h e sometimes t r i e s t o be f u n n y , b u t w i t h o u t s u c c e s s . T h i s i s t h e ' case when ho makes g o s s i p s about o t h e r p e o p l e " p r o f i l e s " , O f t e n I have no p l e a s u r e t o know t h e p e o p l e c o n c e r n e d and I f e e l r a t h e r uneasy when he s t a r t s t o g o s s i p about t h e p e r s o n s t o whom he d i d not i n t r o d u c e me p r e v i o u s l y . T h i s i s a bad h a b i t , I t seems t h a t p o o r c a t e i t h e r s u f f e r e d some m i s f o r t u n e or he a t e t o o l a r g e m e a l and f o r c e s h i m s e l f t o be f u n n y when h i s m i n d i s r a t h e r s u p p r e s s e d and h i s stomach full.

I n f a c t the cat i s very i n t e r e s t e d i n m e a l s .

He always grumbles about f o o d and s e r v i c e i n t h e R e f e c t o r y , c l a i m i n g t h a t I t makes a d i f f e r e n c e for him how m i l k i s s e r v e d .

These a r e t h e s y mptoms w h i c h make me f e e l t h a t poor cat behaves as a t y p i c a l old bachelor.

In fact,he i s 3 years old-what i n a c a t ' s l i f e means t h a t he i s a grown up g e n tleman.

Therefore I suggest that there i s a r i g h t t i m e f o r our F e l i x to marry.

And he s h o u l d do so a t o n c e . T h i s i s n o t a bad i d o a 8 I t h a s many a d v a n t a g e s !

As a p e r s o n w i t h f a m i l y r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s , F e l i x w i l l c e r t a i n l y t a k e more f o r b e a r i n g v i e w on C o l l e g e a f f a i r s , a n d because he w i l l n o t be more a l o n e i n t h e w o r l d , h i s personal happiness w i l l f u r t h e r increase h i s p o p u l a r i t y among u s .

I am,Sir, Yours f a i t h f u l l y , F a t h e r o f one k i t t e n .

Dear S i r , I t seems, from t h e F E L I X a c c o u n t o f t h e G u i l d s M o t o r R a l l y , t h a t i t haB been a s u c c e s s .

What a p i t y t h e n t h a t t h e r e i s no s i m i l a r event f o r motor c y c l e s , w h i c h a r e s u r e l y more p o p u l a r i n t h e c o l l e g e .

P e r h a p s Bome e n t h u s i a s t , unencumbered by e x a m i n a t i o n t r i a l s , may be found t o o r g a n i s e s o m e t h i n g o f t h e k i n d , o r even t o i n s t i t u t e a n I . C . M o t o r C y c l i n g C l u b .

Yours

faithfully,

A.R.BRAY

FELIX

a

N O

THE

NEWSPAPER

OF'IMPERIaX

COLLEGE

K.P.ELDRTDGE

sbhoju

The e m a i l a t t e n d a n c e o f s p e c t a t o r s a t H a r l i n g t o n l t o . w a t c h , t h e A n n u a l S p o r t s i s one more i n d i c a t i o n o f t h e l a c k o f i n t e r e s t a n d s u p p o r t by t h e greater p r o p o r t i o n o f members i n t h i s C o l l e g e i n a c t i v i t i e s w h i c h do n o t i m m e d i a t e l y a n d d i r e c t l y b e n e f i t them. subjected When we f i r s t c a m e t o I . C . we w e r e to c a j o l i n g , p l e a d i n g s , and p e r o r a t i o n s from a l l q u a r t e r s n o t t o be b r o w n b a g g e r s a n d s l a v e s t o w o r k , but to e n t e r i n t o the s o c i a l l i f e o f t h e C o l l e g e and t o maKe I . C . t h e f o r e m o s t o f t h e U n i v e r s i t y .

These attacks have been r e p e a t e d a t i n t e r v a l s a n d w i t h decreasing intensity.

The t i m e h a s s u r e l y come when I . C . s h o u l d w i t h draw i t s head from the sand and to wipe the sand F o r too l o n g e n e r g i e s have been misfrom i t s eyes. d i r e c t e d i n t r y i n g t o rnaKe I . C . a C o l l e g e o f the U n i v e r s i t y , m i s d i r e c t e d oecause the U n i v e r s i t y does n o t e x i s t , Out o n l y t h e " T e c h n i c a l I n s t i t u t e s of London".

A t no t i m e h a s t h e m a i n Body o f students p u r s u e d i t s c o u r s e i n the s e a r c h o f ^oiowledge o r o f disinterested learning.

The c o l l e g e s o f London have m e r e l y been u s e d t o p r o v i d e s t u d e n t s w i t h the r i g h t l e t t e r s a f t e r t h e i r names t o e a r n l a r g e r s a l a ries.

T h i s s t r a t a g e m has l o n g been d e t e c t e d by e m p l o y e r s o f even the most l i m i t e d acumen, and f a i l e d holders by t h e r e m a r k a b l y m e a g r e p i t t a n c e s o f f e r e d t o o f a mere degree.

T h e a i m o f a U n i v e r s i t y s h o u l d be t o a l l o w t h e c u l t u r e i n s t i l l e d i n e a r l y l i f e to bear f r u i t .

In t h i s London f a i l s m i s e r a b l y .

It produces very few who a r e e d u c a t e d a n d n o t e c h n i c i a n s , o r m o r e g r a n d i loquently t e c h n o l o g i s t s , but thousands of intolerant and h a l f b a k e d creatures f i t f o r very l i t t l e at a l l .

T h a t some e m e r g e f r o m t h e c h a o s v i c t o r i o u s , i s a b l e s s i n g f o r w h i c h we s h o u l d a l l be f o r e v e r t h a n k ful.

I t i s a l s o a n i n d i c a t i o n t h a t t h e r e i s some demand l o r c e r t a i n o f t h e p r o d u c t s - t h e enlightened t e c h n o l o g i s t s of the present system.

I t i s time and t h a t London c o l l e g e s d r o p p e d t h e sham f a c a d e p r e t e n s i o n s to b e i n g of a U n i v e r s i t y and presented the true colours of i n t e r e s t e d ambition and m u n i f i cent mercenary remuneration. . Wo U n i v e r s i t y c a n g i v e c u l t u r e n o r e d u c a t e anyone.

I t i s f o l l y t o aemand t h a t i t s h o u l d .

Cult u r e i s s u b t l y a c q u i r e d d u r i n g the e a r l y formative years of one's l i f e .

A l l t h a t the U n i v e r s i t y can d o i s t o e n c o u r a g e p l a n t s t o d e v e l o p by p r o v i d i n g t h e r i g h t s o i l and c l i m a t e .

F o r the most p a r t the p e o p l e , y o u a n d I , t h a t come t o t h i s C o l l e g e are i g n o r a n t o f much t h a t i s good and b e a u t i f u l i n t h i s .world, the humanities and a r t s .

Due t o o u r e a r l y backgrounds the seed or culture i s not w i t h i n us; and no amount o f w i s h f u l t h i n k i n g c a n a l t e r o r cover our a p p a l l i n g i g n o r a n c e .

The T o u c h s t o n e weeicends and s i m i l a r endeavours, though i n themselves most l a u d a b l e e n t e r p r i s e s , are as p r e d e s t i n e d to o v e r a l l f a i l u r e a s any g a r d e n e r , however, e x p e r t , w i t h n e i t h e r seeds nor p l a n t s .

We a r e n o t t h e r a w m a t e r i a l f o r s i l k purses.

L e s t i t be t h o u g h t t h a t i t i s c o n s i d e r e d t h a t o n l y " S c i e n t i s t s " are o f t h i s underbred and undern o u r i s h e d c l a s s i t s h o u l d be borne i n m i n d t h a t many o r t h e " A r t s " s t u d e n t s , be t h e y n e v e r s o w e l l v e r s e d i n the h i s t o r i e s of the w o r l d - w r i t i n g s from uioses t o maugham, o r t h e development o f tectorial r e p r e s e n t a t i o n f r o m unnamed cavemen t o D a l i , they are o f t e n c o m p l e t e l y unaware o r trie e x i s t e n c e of other forms of expressi on or of the sciences.

One' m o r e d e p r e s s i n g - t h o u g h t a r i s e s . iaost o f us . a r e so e n g r o s s e d i n f u r t h e r i n g o u r i n d i v i d u a l e n d s , t h a t n o amount o f r e f o r m a t i o n o r o u t l o o i c by t h e more broad minded,or r e c o n c i l i a t i o n to the fact that t h e i r c h e r i s h e d dreams o f . p u t t i n g I . C . a t the head o f the U n i v e r s i t y i n a l l f i e l d s o f endeavour must c r u m b l e , w i l l a l t e r t h e f a c t t h a t we a s t h e p r o d u c t s o f a t e c h n i c a l degree factory, shall give nothing to s o c i a l life C L A S S I C A L

R E L A T I V I T Y

V'hen P a r i s r e a d t h e t h e o r y o f d i m e n s i o n s , a p p l i e d to c u r v i l i n e a r extensions, he p r o m p t l y t o l d f a i r H e l e n h i s i n t e n t i o n s .

As she r e f u s e d , a c c o r d i n g to conventions he c a r r i e d h e r t o T r o y a n d , H o m e r m e n t i o n s , . a war was waged w i t h d e v i l i s h i n v e n t i o n s .

Moral: "The

road

to

Hell

is

paved

with

Greek

declensions."

The P r e s i d e n t ' g P a s t S p o r t s Day Message The P r e s i d e n t was h e a r d a f t e r t h e a n n u a l s p o r t s , t o say o f t h o g a l l a n t 1400, " B l a s t t h e l o t o f 'em.'" A t l e a s t t h a t i s what h e m e a n t .

N E W S

At t h i s time of the year the College appears to be s e i z e d b y a c r e e p i n g p a r a l y s i s .

S p o r t s Day i s the l a s t i n d i c a t i o n that there i s a n y t h i n g else i n the w o r l d b u t WORK. The u n d e r g r a d u a t e s are w o r d i n g , t h i n k i n g t h e y o u g h t t o be w o r k i n g o r t h i n k i n g t n a t it's a D o u t t i m e t h e y t h o u g h t a b o u t d o i n g some w o r k .

E v e n p o s t g r a d u a t e s , w i t h an eye on n e x t y e a r ' s grant, a r e g e t t i n g down t o t h e i r a n n u a l b o u t o f w o r k (approx i m a t e l y one month) b e f o r e t h e i r w e l l - e a r n e d summer vacation.

Mow w h i l e t h i s s p e c t a c l e o f f i f t e e n hundred noses to f i f t e e n h u n d r e d g r i n d s t o n e s may b e gratifying to the t e a c h i n g s t a f f , i t makes the l i f e o f the F i i L I X Hews E d i t o r v e r y h a r d .

This fellow, being a conscient i o u s t y p e , i s anxious to please the readers of F E L I X by i n f o r m i n g t h e m o f w h a t g o e s o n i n I . C .

H i s team o f s t a r r e p o r t e r s , who a r e o m n i p r e s e n t , o m n i s c i e n t and o m n i v o r o u s , i n n o r m a l t i m e s p r o v i d e those b r i l l i a n t d i s p a t c h e s from our f a r f l u n g possessions (headed: Huxley B u i l d i n g , Tuesday) , or from the i n n e r sanctums o f Government (The o a r , F r i d a y n i g h t ) .

I n t h e s e . ., a b n o r m a l t i m e s , h o w e v e r , t h i s i s what the n e w s - h u n g r y News E d i t o r receives:F r o m o u r own correspondent: Physics Department.

Thursday a.m.

The boundary c o n d i t i o n c o n c e r n i n g t h e c o n t i n u i t y o r the t a n g e n t i a l components of E r e q u i r e s t h a t the e l e c t r i c f i e l d s t r e n g t h be a l w a y s z e r o f o r x = o .

End of message.

Cnemlstry Department.

Saturday midnif;ht.

A few o r t h e 3 s u D - g r o u p m e t a l s f o r m hydrooxyt i a l i d e s e . g . Gd ( O H ) C l w h i c h i s i n no s e n s e a compound of hydroxide and c h l o r i n e .

End of message.

i'iow w h i l e t u e s e m e s s a g e s a r e i n t h e m s e l v e s e x t r e m e i n t e r e s t once t h e y have been d e c o d e d , a which, i n c i d e n t a l l y , normally takes three years, c a n n o t be s a i d t o h a v e t h e h u m a n s l a n t w h i c h i s e s s e n c e o f B I G *iiÂŁWS. T r i e i-iews E d i t o r i s w i l t i n g u n d e r t h e strai H i s S i n d , n e v e r v e r y s t r o n g , even i n the Autumn i s beginning to wander.

of process they the n. term,

Looa; o u t n e x t w e e k f o r t h e y e a r ' s b i g s c o o p 'How I p l a y e d K i s s - i n - t h e - i i i n g w i t h t h e D e a n o f F a c u l t y ' by y o u r s t r u l y , T h e D e m e n t e d x.ews E d i t o r .

the

P O E M DEATH BY MIaADVENTURE Seven, I icnew a man b o u g h t a n o l d A u s t i n Thought i t was H e a v e n .

R a t h e r a f a t man - s i z e d i d n o t s u i t h i m m u c h . clutch. dor d i d the F i r s t t i m e he t o o k i t o u t , d o w n P i c c a d i l l y , Something quite silly.

C l i m b e d E r o s w i t h the c a r , r i g h t to the summit^ F e l l l i k e a plummet.

When ne f i r s t b o u g h t i t he s a i d , h a n d s i n p o c k e t 'Goes l i k e a r o c c e t ' .

S a i d i t c o u l d c l i m b the most s t e e p h i l l s i n t h i r d Just l i i e a bird.

A n d i t w o u l d go u p a h o u s e s i d e i n s e c o n d , So t h i s c h a p r e c k o n e d .

Thought at the time j u s t the customary lies, Should 'pologize.

S t i l l , t o c l i m o E r o s t o Drove i t was silly..

Send him a l i l y . , a

p

o

l

o

g

l

e

s

t

o

D

a

v

i

d

A

We h a d h o p e d t o p r i n t a s h o r t a c c o u n t o f M r . Samways v i s i t t o b o t h s i d e s o f t h e i r o n c u r t a i n , b u t due t o t h e e n o r m i t y o f t h e p r o Âť r ork M r . Samways h a s o n l y c o m p l e t e d the v e d seventeenth chapter dealing with his a r r i v a l In Hamburg.

The c o m p l e t e s t o r y o f t h i s b r e a t h t a k i n g e p i c w i l l p r o b a b l y be r e a d y i n 1 9 6 0 I n

l

l

a

-

n

EE UK T H E

FELIX eongratulates/m.

P*? « < > P ( G u i l d s A D r a m . S o e . ) and Don Knapp (Chem.T»eh. & D r a m . S o e . ) , on t h e i r engagement. s

B i e l d r

C h r i s . MOKoen ( A e r o n a u t i e s & D r a m . S o c . ) on h i s en-I gagement t o J e n n i f e r B u r n ( e f W e s t f i e l d C o l l e g e , and

S T I N K

C L U B

The boys a n d I were b e i n g s o c i a b l e i n the B ag o M o r e s l a s t e v e n t i d e w h e n we w e r e a c c o s t e d b y a c a l l o w y o u t h who e n q u i r e d i n a s q u e a l i n g v o i c e , " W e l l , w h a t i s the S t i n x Club?',' What i s t h e S t i n x C l u b ?

My d e a r f e l l o w , we a c q u a i n t e d hiin w i t h the whys a n d w h e r e f o r e s o f i t , so m u c h s o t h a t we h a d t o w r i n g h i m d r y .

Of course, you and everyone e l s e knows t h a t the S t i n x C l u b c o n s i s t s of a l l the r i g h t types - or S t i n k e r s as they are called.

When a f e l l o w c o m e 3 t o C o l l e g e we g i v e h i m a n d i f he loo«cs l l i e a S t i n k e r who the once o v e r ; might r i s e t o great h e i g h t s o f eminence i n the upper ' s t r a t a o f S t u d e n t ' S o c i e t y we e l e c t h i m a m e m b e r .

It l i s j u s t a s w e l l t o maice h i i n o n e o f t h e B o y s f i r s t shows g r e a t f o r e s i g h t a n d b e s i d e s Keeps us a l l i n the M i n d y o u , o l d c h a p , we d o n ' t a l w a y s b a c K t h e jcnow. t i g h t h o r s e a n d n o n - S t i n g e r s a r e e l e c t e d , b u t we s o o n maie them S t i n K ^ r s .

(

B R I D G E

C O N G R E S S

The A n n u a l B r i d g e C o n g r e s s was h e l d o n S a t u r d a y a n d S u n d a y , Hay 1 6 t h and 1 1 t h , i n t h e u n i o n .

On S a t u r d a y , a f t e r n o o n and e v e n i n g , a t e a m f r o m I . C . competed w i t h a team from London U n i v e r s i t y and a team o f M a s t e r P l a y e r s , i n c l u d i n g J . T a r l o , L . K l l i s o n , R.and J . S h a r p i e s .

The c o m p e t i t i o n was won by t h e masters ( o f course!) but although I . C . d i d not excel i n t h i s e v e n t , i t was a g r e e d by t h o s e t a k i n g p a r t t h a t t o p l a y a g a i n s t such e x p e r t s was a w o r t h w h i l e e x p e r ience.

T h o u g h , by a n d l a r g e , v/e d o n ' t s e e m t o h a v e t h e i n f l u e n c e we u s e d t o h a v e .

C a n ' t say q u i t e what i t i s , shortage o f beer or i t s poor q u a l i t y , but e v e r . s i n c e ws h a d o n e o f t r . e s e c u l t u r e w a l l a h s frightf u l l y n i c e f e l l o w a n d a l l t h a t , o u t he u s e u t o r e a d pud w r i t e a n d , worst of a l l , t h i n k and t a l i about the igood o f t h e C o l l e g e , n o t t h e u o y s - rum t y p o r e a l l y — f e l l o w s a r e n ' t q u i t e o f t h e same c a l i b r e a s w h e n v/e ' p a m e t o t h i s - a h . dump.

T h e o n l y way t h e n t o K e e p s o r t o f o n y o u r r o c k e r was t o be p e r m a n e n t l y , h o n k e d c h a p s w o u l d have D . T . s and a l l t h a t - Dut n o t nowsome o f t h e m d o n ' t e v e n d r i n k .

Sunday a f t e r n o o n and e v e n i n g was o c c u p i e d w i t h Open P a i r s and Teams o f F o u r c o m p e t i t i o n s .

Bridge p l a y e r s from many o t h e r c o l l e g e s i n t h e u n i v e r s i t y w e r e p r e s e n t , and a l t h o u g h t h e m a s t e r s p l a y e d i n t h e s e e v e n t s t o o , I . C . members were m o d e r a t e l y s u c c e s s f u l .

P r i z e s were d i s t r i b u t e d by l l r s . P . W i l l i a m s t o t h e w i n n e r s and r u n n e r s - u p i n each e v e n t .

Closing the c o n g r e s s , she t h a n k e d M r . J . P e a r l s t o n e who h a d d i r e c t e d t h e t o u r n a m e n t so a d m i r a b l y , and c o n g r a t u l a t e d a l l t h o s e who h a d h e l p e d o r g a n i s e t h e c o n g r e s s .

The C o n g r e s s c o n c l u d e d a s e a s o n o f s u c c e s s f u l B r i d g e f o r I . C . , d u r i n g w h i c h t h r e e I . C . men have p l a y e d f o r London U n i v e r s i t y , and an I . C . team went t o t h e Waddington Congress at O x f o r d .

I n t h i s y e a r s I n t e r - H o s p i t a l s and C o l l e g e s comp e t i t i o n , two I . C . teams r e a c h e d t h e s e m i - f i n a l s , and one t h e f i n a l , b u t was u n f o r t u n a t e l y b e a t e n b y a team from U . C .

B A S

set (The

1

F A S H I O N

N O T E

T h e r e w a s a g i r l b y t h e name o f K a b l e ..Whose n a t u r a l t a l e n t s w e r e n o t able, W h i l e l o t s o f g i r l s h a d many m o r e , To a t t r a c t more s u i t o r s t h a n a s c o r e So by t h e use o f t i n t e d powder S h e s o u g h t t o a t t r a c t m o r e men a b o u t h e r . er g i r l friends thought the idea swell o t h e y began t o t i n t as w e l l .

The r e s u l t o f t h i s f o o l i s h f a s h i o n race Was y e l l o w gums i n a b l u e - b l a c k f a c e , B u t .liable c o n s i d e r e d s h e ' d been h a s t y , A l t h o u g h t h e t o o t h - p a s t e was q u i t e t a s t y , F o r w h i l e she was I n t h e h e i g h t o f f a s h i o n The b o y f r i e n d s showed a l o s s o f p a s s i o n .

The m o r a l o f t h i s t i n y t a l e , F o r t h o s e who w o u l d a t t r a c t t h e m a l e , Is though a blue-black face i s nice It i s not, perhaps, a well-made choice.

f

Jad. P.S. The

person mentioned no

Stinx Cluo

uas no

official

existence

in

Just tiCxcet.

I.C.

id.)

R E L I E F

A t t i m e s a t a l l s p e c t a c l e d young man may be seen w a n d e r i n g a b o u t t h e U n i o n q u a d r a n g l e w i t h h a n d s t h r u s t deep i n t o p o c k e t s a n d a h a r r a s s e d brow on h i s f a c e . A t o t h e r s he s i t s o p p o s i t e t h e ' b o w l i n g g r e e n s i t e * and w a t c h e s t h r o u g h a p a i r o f c l i p - o n s u n - g l a s s e s , t h e u p - a n d - c o m i n g t e n n i s s t a r s . One w o u l d t h i n k he owned t h e t e n n i s c o u r t s .

Gentlemen (7 h e does ! F o r I speak o f o u r t e n n i s C a p t a i n Rryan ("Bas") P i l e - c e r t a i n l y the d r i v i n g force behind o u r T e n n i s C l u b . H a v i n g p l a y e d s i n c e t h e age o f 7 , h e h a s d e v e l o p e d a s t e a d y b r a n d o f p l a y w h i c h c a n a l w a y s be r e l i e d o n . I n I . C . t e n n i s h e was V i c e - C a p t a i n l a s t y e a r when t h e ULU. Cup was won, and h e h a s p l a y e d " o n - a n d - o f f " ( h i s own w o r d s ) f o r t h e team t h e s e l a s t t h r e e y e a r s . H i s a m b i t i o n i s f o r t h e team t o t e t a i n t h e cup t h i s y e a r .

P e r h a p s t h e b r i g h t e s t moment o f h i s c a r e e r came when B a s . t o o k t h e game t o o t h e r s i d e o f t h e A t l a n t i c , l a s t Summer. In t h e h i g h sounding Canadian " G o l d B e l t Championships' h e p l a y e d ' f i r s t s t r i n g ' f o r t h e Novanda ~ t e a m , i n s e v e r a l m a t c h e s , a n d a l t h o u g h t h e c h a m p i o n s h i p was l o s t , t h e ' N o r t h e r n D a i l y N e w s ' was f u l l o f p r a i s e f o r " t h e y o u t h f u l B r y a n P i l e " a n d f o r t h e way i n w h i c h h e ' b a r v e d h i s way t o victory".

Off t h e c o u r t s , Bas i s a mild-mannered m e t a l l u r g i s t whose a p p e a r a n c e b e l i e s h i s 27 y e a r s . He came t o I . C . i n 1948 a f t e r b e i n g demobbed a s a C a p t a i n f r o m t h a t g a l l a n t I, force R.E.M.E. FELIX i s p a r t i c u l a r l y sorry t h a t the Tenn i s C l u b a r e l o s i n g h i m now, a s e a r l i e r i n t h e y e a r we e n l i s t e d h i m as a M i n o s member, and g o t h i m t o be t h e f i r s t P r o d u c t i o n M a n a g e r . He a l s o c o n t r i b u t e d some p u n s .

Has

S t i l l , I w i l l n o t s e e p y o u any l o n g e r . t h e m up a g a i n o e i ' o r e y o u g o .

T h a t ' s the

i n this

connection with a

D R A M . pram.

Soc.

Paints

Sussex

S O C .

Red.

T h e D r a m . S o c . A n n u a l E x c u r s i o n t h i s y e a r was h e l d o n May 2 4 t h .

The p a r t y met a t I . e .

Union at 9 . 4 5 a . m . a n d p r o c e e d e d by c o a c h , w i t h s u i t a b l e p a u s e s f o r t a k i n g on board refreshment, towards the Sussex Downs.

T h o s e o f t h e p a r t y who s o u g h t t r a n q u i l i t y a n d i t s attendant diversions a l i g h t e d at Arundel w h i l s t t h e r e m a i n d e r , b e n t o n , d a r e we s a y m o r e l i v e l y p u r s u i t s continued to Littlehampton.

We w i l l d r a w a v e i l o v e r the various a c t i v i t i e s of the party d u r i n g the afternoon and content ourselves w i t h the statement that t h e r e t u r n j o u r n e y commenced f r o m L i t t l e h a m p t o n a t 5 p.m.

C o l l e c t i n g the remainder of the party at A r u n d e l , the coach c o n t i n u e d to Horsham where a n e x c e l l e n t d i n n e r was s e r v e d , members c o m p e t i n g f o r the honour of d i s p o s i n g of the l a r g e s t quantity of food ( s o l i d and l i q u i d ) . " F a l l e n A n g e l s " , p e r f o r m e d by t h e H o r s h a m R e p e r t o r y Company f o r m e d t h e n e x t d i v e r s i o n , a f t e r w h i c h t h e r e was a p e r i o d o f 50 m i n u t e s b e f o r e c l o s i n g t i m e a n d t h e r e t u r n t o L o n d o n when t h e c o a c h was h e l p e d o n i t s way b y m e l o d i o u s a c c o m p a n i m e n t .

The day ended a t 1 2 . 3 0 a n d g o e s down i n t o Dram. S o c .

A n n a l s as t h e T h i r d A n n u a l E x c u r s i o n and a f i r s t r a t e day o u t .

T h i s Monument i s n o t a Waterworks (Huxley)" E a c h day when i t ' s f i n e y o u s h o u l d see 'em As t h e y s t a nd on t h e s t e p s and t h e y s t a r e I n r a p t s u r p r i s e and w i t h g o g g l i n g eyes At a wonderful notice that3 there.

E a c h day when i t ' s f i n e y o u s h o u l d see ' e m . " T h i s b u i l d i n g i s n o t a museum."

But Imagine t h e s u r p r i s e and p e t u r b a t i o n Shown b y a c r o w d o f s t r a n g e r s t o o u r n a t i o n On s e e i n g n e a r t h e A l b e r t H a l l A w a r n i n g c h a l k e d upon t h e w a l l , " T h i s e d i f i c e 1b n o t a r a i l w a y s t a t i o n . "

fable

table.

Watt A W o r d s w o r t h .

FELIX S T O P

W A T C H

mm Ewin

FROM- OUH H O R O L O G I C A L C O R R E S P O N D E N T Introduction; On c o n s u l t a t i o n o f t h e p o s s i b i l i t y o f b u y i n g a w a t c h , t h i s l e a r n e d body d e c i d e d t o i n v e s t i g a t e a n a l y t i c a l l y t h e claim o f a well-known firm o f h o r o l o g i s t s t h a t t h e i r t i m e p i e c e made t h e j o u r n e y from K i n g ' s Cross t o Edinburgh attached t o t h e p i s t on-rod o f t h e F l y i n g Scotsman, without detriment t o i t s e l f o r apparent harm t o t h e engine a t t a c h e d thereto.

Assumptions: (1) (2)

Speed o f express t r a i n (by d e f i n i t i o n ) = 6 0 mph.

Diameter o f D r i v i n g Wheels: 2yds. ( a s f o r Charles I) P i s t o n S t r o k e s 26" (Machine Drawing and Design b y W. A b b o t , p . 8 7 , p u b . B l a c k i e & S o n s L t d . , London a n d Glasgow, 10/6d.) = 2 r .

That t h e l e n g t h o f t h e connecting r o d i s long compared t o t h a t o f t h e c r a n k .

That i f a n d when y o u d r o p y o u r watch y o u d r o p i t through a height o f 3 f t . , andthat as a r e s u l t i t buries i t s e l f i n t h e f l o o r t o a depth of 0 . 0 1 " .

(3)

(4) (5)

Calculations: Speed

of train=60

.'.Angular

mph = 8 8

Velocity

ft/sec.

of Driving

W h e e l s - 8 8 2 tr x

~ err = .Max.

accel

,

'

~

radians/sec.

of piston-oV *

. ^ 1 3 =931 *12

ft/sec .

1

- 2 9 g .

I f U f t / s e c . i s v e l o c i t y o f watch on being dropped from a height o f 3 f t . , a t t h e instant before i t touches t h e ground, .". u * 1 3 ' 6 7 ft/sec.

U*« 2xg*3 «187'2 and i f A ft/sec i s thedeceleration applied the watch t o b r i n g i t t o a stop i n 0-01",

to

) 0 = 187-2 + 12xA 1 ( 1200) x

.'. A = - 1 1 2 , 3 2 0

ft/sec^-3,490g.

Conclusions: Thus i t c a n i t be seen t h a t w h i l s t t h e t e s t o n the F l y i n g Scotsman subjects t h e watch t o a c c e l e r a t ion anddeceleration equal to 29g., the dropping of a watch onto a f a i r l y soft f l o o r subjects t h e poor beast t o a d e c e l e r a t i o n o f 3,490g., i . e . 120 times as great, and demonstrates t h e complete worthlessness o f t h e t e s t as f a r as t h e watch i s concerned.

What e f f e c t i t h a d o n t h e c a r e f u l l y b a l a n c e d r e c i p r o c a t i n g p a r t s o f t h e l o c o m o t i v e we have been unable t o a s c e r t a i n .

A Cuckoo

C l o c k was f i n a l l y

s

purchased.

SOCIAL. FRIDAY, MAY 30TH. C . a n d G . U n i o n . A n n u a l S e n e r a ' l M e e t i n g , 1 . 1 5 p . m . Room 1 7 . A t t h i s m e e t i n g , t h e o f f i c e r s f o r t h e s e s s i o n 1 9 5 2 - 5 3 w i l l b e e l e c t e d . T h e F i e l d Cup r a c e w i l l o c c u r a f t e r the meeting.

I . C . J a z z C l u b , A . G . M . 1.15 p . m . C o m r d t t e e room ' A ' , I . C . U .

F E L I X N o . 37 on s a l e .

MONDAY, JUNE 2ND. I . C . U . w i l l b e t h e p o o r e r from t o d a y , due t o t h e departure o f John Croocock, l a t e o f R . C . S .

TUESDAY, JUNE 3RD. I . C . F e n c i n g C l u b A . G . M . Committee Rm ' A ' .

THURSDAY, JUNE 5TH. I . C . D r a m a t i c S o c i e t y v i s i t t o t h e O l d V i c , 'Timeon o f A t h e n s ' .

I . C . M u s . S o c . L u n c h - h o u r r e c i t a l , C o u n c i l Room, C . and G . , I . 15 p . m . P i a n o T r i o , d e t a i l s t o b e a n n o u n c e d .

Silwood Park D i n n e r - i n - f l a l l . 7.30 p.m. f o r 8 . 0 p.m.This w i l l be f o l l o w e d b y d a n c i n g i n t h e m a i n h a l l . P r i c e s a r e a s f o r Tuesday d i n n e r s i n h a l l a t I . C . U . A p p l y t o M r . H a s k e l l , oilweod Park, S u n n i n g h i l l , Berks.

FRIDAY, JUNE 6TH. I n t e r v a r s i t y V a c a t i o n C l u b M i d - t e r m d a n c e , C h e l s e a town h a l l , 7 . 3 0 - 1 1 . 3 0 p . m . Members 3 / - , N o n members 5 / - .

SATURDAY, JUNE 7 T H . I . C . E n t e r t a i n m e n t s Committee H o p 8 . 0 I I . 0 p . m . T i c k e t s from U n i o n O f f i c e Annexe i n L u n c h - h o u r o f 5 t h and 6 t h o f J u n e .

U . L . A . U . Summer t e r m d a n c e , U n i o n a s s e m b l y h a l l , 7 . 3 0 1 1 . 0 p . m . Ray Somers and B a n d . T i c k e t s 2 / - .

ATHLETIC. SATURDAY, MAY 313T. I . C . B o a t C l u b . A l l o m Cup ( C h i s w i c k ) a n d Richmond and Twickenham R e g a t t a s .

I . C . C r i c k e t C l u b , F i r s t X I , v We " h a m , 0 x f o r d , 1 1 . 3 0 ( a w a y ) , 3rd X I v Q.M.C. (away).

MONDAY, JUNE 2ND, I . C . C r i c k e t C l u b , F i r s t X I v Hook a n d Newnham, ( a w a y ) .

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4 T H . I . C . C r i c k e t C l u b , F i r s t X I v L . S . E . ( a ) .

SATURDAY, JUNE 7 T H . I . C . B o a t C l u b . W a l t o n R e g a t t a .

I . C . C r i c k e t C l u b , F i r s t X I v U . C . Southampton,11.3C(hone).

H Y A D D I K T During a p e r i o d o f contemplation t h a t d a i l y serves t o t a u n t ub t h a t v/e s h o u l d h a v e more q u i e t l e i s u r e , 1 s u d d e n l y became aware o f t h e n e c e s s i t y f o r t h e e x i s t e n c e o f t h e w o r d •Kyads*.

I have found o n l y s i n c e t h a t t h e r e i s such a word I'm v e r y g l a d , because w i t h i t I c a n complete t h o h y a d : L A U G H

A U G H L L O Y L T R A O R E D YAD S

I f y o u have n e v e r h e a r d o f t h i s w o r d , d o n ' t a s k u f r i e n d ; h e w o u l d o n l y answer " Y a d " . Look i t up i n t h e d i c t i o n a r y * V/e f i n d : " H y a d , a c l u s t e r o f f i v e . . . c o n c e r n e d w i t h b u l l , . . . s u p p o s e d , . . t o b r i n g r a i n when t h e y r i s e w i t h t h e s o n . " (more o r l e s s from chambers) s

p M U S I C

A T

T

H

E

H O P S

A f t e r r e g u l a r l y a t t e n d i n g a l l t h e Hops t h i s t e r m i t seems t h a t some comment m i g h t b e made o n t h o c h o i c e o f r e c o r d s . My o p i n i o n i s t h a t a l a r g e number o f t h e d i s c s p l a y e d a r e n o t s u i t e d t o t h e Hop a t m o s p h e r e . oudi bands a s V i c t o r S y l v e s t e r rxe e x c e l l e n t f o r t h e d a n c i n g C l u b vnd f o r dances where t h e r e i s a r e a s o n a b l e amount o f f l o o r space, but they a r e n o t i n keeping w i t h e i t h e r t h e cond i t i o n s o r t h e atmosphere o f o u r S a t u r d a y n i g h t s p e c i a l s .

The i n n o v a t i o n o f l i g h t w e i g h t p i c k u p s w i t h s a p p h i r e n e e d l e s s h o u l d r e d u c e wear t o a g r e a t e x t e n t , so t h a t t h e budget o f t h e Committee can be s p r e a d o v e r more new r e c o r d s .

Thus I w o u l d s t r o n g l y s u g g e s t t h a t t h e c a t a l o g u e s be s c o u r e d f o r items by F a t s JTaller, Stan Kenton, Ted Heath, Les P a u l e t o . t o which i t i s p o s s i b l e t o dance, although they a r e not s t r i c t tempo.

Next y e a r ' 3 Committee a r e bound t o t a k e n o t e o f y o u r comments, so l e t P E L I X know what y o u want a t y o u r h o p s .

PERSONAL ADVERTISEMENTS

J

J t » i T HANDS

ON

7 HATS

A

FOR SALE DAV.ES l i g h t w e i g h t Phone WEStern 8 7 0 8 .

My

Piqqy

S p o r t s C y c l e good c o n d i t i o n .

WANTED TO H I R E : A TANDEM f o r 2nd and 3 r d week o f l o n g v a c .

W a l l i n g t o t e m p o r a r y p a r t exchange f o r own s i n g l e s p o r t s cycle.

London a r e a . B ox 1 2 3 .

FOR S A L E , 2 5 0 0 C s i d e - v a l v e BSA 1947 m o t o r b i k e , good c o n d i t i o n owner^leaving c o u n t r y . P r i c e £70.- N . R . F r a s e r , Silwood P a r k .

LECTUR-IAL " S t a r t i n g t o d a y where we l e f t

BOOB o f f tomorrow - " ex D r . E l v i d g e

O r g . Cham,

We h e a r t h a t a c t i n g d u t y o f f i c e r H o w a r t h , D . B . has been awarded t h e B . B . C . i n B a r .

The o i t a t i o n reads " F o rheroic andmeritorious conduct i n q u e l l i n g a r i o t o u s mob o n S a t u r d a y , 2 4 t h M a y , 1 9 5 2 , and u p h o l d i n g G e o f f . K e n y o n ' s honour'.'

(D.B. = Defender Cower).

o f t h e Bags.

B.B.C.

Boat

Boys

X

S 100yd.

P

O

R

T

S

D

A

Y

B

J . Davies and B.T.K. Barry 3. A . B . Watts 10.4 220yd.

1. A . B .W a t t s 2 . C D . P a l m e r 3. I . F . Smith 23.6 sec 440yd.

1. C D . P a l m e r 2 . H . P i n s e n t 3. C Eastland 52.3 sec 880yd.

1. P . Wilmer 2 . C C K a y 3 . C H . James 2m.1.8 1 mile 1. D . J . P a i n 2 . E . F . W h i t l o c k 3 . 11. G a r r o d 4m.33.4 3 mile E.F. Whitlock 2. D . J . Pain 3 . It. G a r r o d 14m.55.8* Cross E.F. Whitlock 2. D . J . Pain Country 3. M. Garrod 28m.0.2 120 y d .

F . Brown and G. F i s h w i c k Hurdles 3. H. Pinsent 17.8 s e c .

4 110yd. 1 R . C . S .

2 . C. & G. 45.8 seel Relay 3. R.S.M. 1 11. B r o w n e 2 . J . Hob s o n L o n g Jump 3. D. Curson 19ft.llins.

H i g h Jump 1. M . R i c k a r d 2 . D. Curson 3. T . kaxworthy 6ft.0ins* P o l e V a u l t 1. A t k i n s o n 2 . J . D a v i e s 3. Grossman 10ft.3ins?

Tug-of-War 1. C . & G. 2 . R . S . M .

3. R . C S .

1. P . Andrews 2 . D. Goldhawk Throwing t h e Hammer 3. M. Rickard 87ft.3ins.

P u t t i n g t h e 1. T . K a x w o r t h y 2 . D . G o l d h a w k 3. C. Wilson 32ft.9ins.

Weight Throwing 1. D. Goldhawk 2 . T..Maxworthy 3 . M. Riejcard 112ft. Oins. the Discus Throwing 1. L . Massam 2 . T . M a x w o r t h y 3 . G. B u r r i l l 140ft. l|ins the J a v e l i n FINAL RESULTS 1. C & G . 1 3 4 p t s .

2. R . C . S .

110*pts.

3. R . S . M .

9llpts. * Best Sports Performance

O

W

I

N

G

1.

F

E

N

C

I

N

G

The a n n u a l N o v i c e s C o m p e t i t i o n was h e l d o n Monday, May. A large proportion of this y e a r ' s b e g i n n e r s t o o k p a r t , i n c l u d i n g two f r o m I.C.V/.A. The s t a n d a r d o f technique was l o w , a s i t always i s on t h i s unnerving occasion.

T h o s e who remembered t o keep a s t r a i g h t a r m when l u n g i n g , most n o t i c e a b l y H i s s A . E n t w i s t l e and t h e winner J . M i t c h e l l , d i d w e l l .

The r u n n e r - u p , R. C o u s i n s , a c h i e v e d h i s p o s i t i o n more b y i n s i s t e n c e o f a t t a c k t h a n - g o o d technique.

When e v e r y o n e h a d f o u g h t e v e r y b o d y i t w a s f o u n d t h a t there was a t i e f o r f i r s t p l a c e between Mitchell andCousins.

A barrage was fought o f f and t h e p r i z e , a f o i l , was awarded t o M i t c h e l l .

In the evening Whitgift School

I . C . beat

a team

from

CHISWICK C h i s w i c k R e g a t t a , was rowed o f f o n S a t u r d a y , 2 4 t h M a y .

The I . C . B . C . was r e p r e s e n t e d b y t h e l s t V I I I i n t h e Thames C u p , t h e 2nd V I I I i n t h e J u n i o r S e n i o r s and t h e 3 r d V I I I i n the Juniors.

A l t h o u g h n o p o t s were w o n , a l l t h r e e c r e ws showed i m p r o v e d f o r m .

The 3 r d V I I I gave an i n t e r e s t i n g a q u a t i c d i s p l a y f o r t h e f i r s t t wo m i n u t e s o f t h e i r h e a t .

At the h a l f distance t h e y were l J r l e n g t h s b e h i n d Q u i n t i n and 2j- b e h i n d t h e M e t .

P o l i c e , b u t from t h i s p o i n t on t h e y s e t t l e d down t o r o w r e a l l y w e l l , t o p a s s Q u i n t i n and j u s t o v e r l a p t h e M e t .

Police's rudder at t h e f i n i s h .

The 2nd V I I I , a f t e r t h e i r d e b a c l e a t P u t n e y , have i m p r o v e d e n o r m o u s l y a n d rowed a good r a c e , a l t h o u g h b e a t e n On t h i s form t h e y

by V e s t a b y l / 3 l e n g t h , I b i s b e i n g t h i r d . a r e w e l l u p t o J u n i o r S e n i o r s t a n d a r d and c a n l o o k f o r w a r d w i t h confidence t o Walton.

I t i s t h e l s t V I I I , r e c o v e r i n g from a n " a w k w a r d " p a t c h i n t r a i n i n g , t o whom t h e r e a l h o n o u r s mu3t g o .

Winning t h e i r f i r 3 t h e a t i n a f a s t t i m e , t h e y met U . C . -aid C r o w l a n d i n t h e f i n a l . The U . C . e i g h t , a g o o d , n e a t , f a s t c r e w , t o o k f u l l advantage o f t h e f a s t e r w a t e r o n t h e S u r r e y s t a t i o n t o take a lead at t h e s t a r t .

They were | l e n g t h ahead a t t h e h a l f d i s t - u i e e and h e l d t h i s t o t h e b r i d g e .

H e r e , I . C . began t o go u p , and r o w i n g 40 c o m p l e t e s t r o k e s i n t h e l a s t a i n u t e were o n l y 3 f e e t b e h i n d a t t h e f i n i s h .

This excellent l a s t f*l ° â&#x201E;˘<* then hard t

+

h

r

e

a

w

i

n

h

e

a

r

t

THAMES T h o u g h v/e h a v e n e v e r y e t w o n i t , T h a m e s D i t t o n Regatta i s always enjoyed by the "maiden" V I I I t h a t I . C . send up each y e a r .

There a r e the v a l u a b l e l o n g e r o u t i n g s o b t a i n e d w h i l e , t a k i n g t h e b o a t u p , i n b e t t e r w a t e r a n d new surroundings, experience including lock n e g o t i a t i o n and pleasure steamers.

The l i m i t e d s o c i a l range o f t h e c l u b ' s w i n t e r r o w i n g b e g i n s to broaden where t h e boat i s p u t up f o r t h e n i g h t , and t h e crew a r e c h a p e r o n e d t o n e w s h o r e s b y t h e i r c o a c h , who between h i s l o n g r i d e s o n t h e bank, i s r e c a l l i n g h i s t r i p up here x ( x = 2 o r 3) y e a r s a g o , a n d o u r o t h e r g o o d f r i e n d s , t h e members who t a k e t h e k i t up e a c h s t a g e b y c a r .

Once a g a i n i t w a s good w e a t h e r .

The S a t u r d a y (May was i n a sudden heat-wave,.

There were boats everywhere; lots of ladies, and, here and there, l o t s o f l a d y .

O u r crew had improved upon t h e i r u n c e r t a i n showing a t Putney, and despite a long wait f o r t h e i r heat at U t h e y s e t t l e d down t o r o w q u i t e w e l l when t h e t i m e came, o n l y t o l o s e b y h a l f a length to a stronger Reading University crew.

The e v e n t w a s w o n f r o m 1 2 e n t r i e s b y t h e B u i l d i n g A p p r e n t i c e s S p o r t i n g A s s o c i a t i o n , who b e a t Thames R . C . i n t h e f i n a l .

It So t h e I . C . f r e s h e r s r e m a i n m a i d e n s . i s a p i t y t h a t e x a m i n a t i o n s may now t a k e up a l l the time o f i t s f i v e F i r s t Y e a r members.

I . G . f o u n d t h e i r b e s t form i n d e c i s i v e l y d e f e a t i n g U . C . S . O l d Boys a t H a r l i n g t o n on 17th May. Batting first o n a t r u e w i c k e t , I . C . l o s t t wo w i c k e t s e a r l y b u t w i t h t h e s c o r e a t 29 - 2 , P e t e r O l d l a n d j o i n e d B r i a n H i t c h i n and t h e r e f o l l o w e d a s t a n d o f 109 f o r t h e t h i r d wicket.

H i t c h i n , b a t t i n g w i t h N o r t h C o u n t r y s o l i d i t y , made 68 n o t o u t w h i l e O l d l a n d a t t a c k e d a l l t h e b o w l e r s t o s c o r e a s t y l i s h 68.

I . C . were now w e l l o n t o p a n d were soon a b l e t o d e c l a r e a t 154 f o r 3 , made i n r a t h e r l e s s t h a n t w o h o u r s .

'I/hen U . C . S . O l d B o y s b a t t e d t h e y were soon i n t r o u b l e a g a i n s t some a c c u r a t e p a c e b o w l i n g b y R e y n o l d s and W i l s o n .

W i c k e t s f e l l r e g u l a r l y and t h e y were a l l o u t i n a n h o u r a n d three-quarters for 49.

R e y n o l d s who t o o k 6 f o r 32 and W i l s o n ( 4 f o r 1 2 ) b o w l e d unchanged t h r o u g h t t h e i n n i n g s .

S c o r e s i - I . C . 154 f o r 3 .

U . C . S . Old Boys 4 9 .

U . L

H

O

C

K

E

Y

FlilLIX o f f e r s h i s s i n c e r e a p o l o g i e s t o A s s t . P r o f . A .

S t e p h e n s o n CHE. f o r p r i n t i n g a n i n c o r r e c t r e p o r t t h a t he had b e e n e l e c t e d P r e s i d e n t o f U . L . Hockey C l u b .

Published by [be Printed by

L

A

W

N

T

E

N

N

I

S

I.C. (Played

a t home

on Saturday,

23rd May)

By b e a t i n g t h e C o l l e g e o f E s t a t e Management b y ' seven matches t o t w o , I . C w i l l meet e i t h e r U . C . o r L.S.E. i n the semi-final of the U.L. Inter-college sometime tournament.

T h i s match w i l l be p l a y e d b e t w e e n J u n e l s t a n d 1 4 t h a t home.

O . E . M ' s team i n c l u d e d I a n Maokay ( U . L . T e n n i s C a p t . ) who p a r t n e r e d bjt L u c k e t t p l a y e d a s t h e o p p o s i t i o n ' s f i r s t p a i r .

The I . C . C a p t a i n knew t h a t t h i s p a i r were t h e danger b u t F o r b e s and M c D o n a l d ( p l a y i n g a s t h e home t e a m ' s l s t p a i r ) h e l d t h e i r own and won i n two s e t s w i t h s c o r e s o f 6 - 2 ; 8 - 6 . I . C . ' s 2nd p a i r ( S p e n c e - B a t e and Ward) and 3 r d p a i r (Grossman and P i l e ) l o s t t o McKay and p a r t n e r , t h e s e b e i n g t h e o n l y t wo m a t c h e s conceeded.

The t e n n i s w a s , o n t h e w h o l e , n o t o f a v e r y h i g h s t a n d a r d and 3ome improvement w i l l b e n e c e s s a r y i f we a r e t o r e a c h , l e t alone w i n , t h e f i n a l .

FELIX B o a r d , imperial College S' U Vous Plait U4. 2,

Uniern, L o n d o n , S. W. 7, Exhibition a d . . S W. 7.